#he doesnt have ANY REPROACH.

[lesharl-eclair]

talking f1 rivalries with alain prost! [2021]

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Hi, hello, are you taking writing requests? 🥺 do you think you could write something with Haru? I don't really have anything in mind, so it can be whatever you feel like, fluff, yandere or smut (as long as it doesnt have a sad ending lol) (｡>﹏<｡) I'm desperate for some Haru stuff and I love your writing so much!!!

Be careful with snakes!

Haru had the nicest dream/hallucination after being bitten by a snake.

Wc: 1,9k

Notes: I wanted to follow the future family idea we had going on but it didn't end up being as much of a future as it was his inner wishes. But it's cute! Haru just wants a calm and domestic life here.

This took longer than I expected... ndjdj

Chillingly cold winds awaken Haru roughly, seeping through the white cotton button down and hitting his pale skin causing goosebumps. Opening his eyes just enough to see sunlight above him almost completely obscured by the leafy treetops, he comes with the most likely possibility.

“Did I pass out again?” Haru scratches the nape of his neck, he was using his stigma pretty frequently lately and he might have skipped dinner and breakfast before using it today but it was unlikely that he passed out just because he was low on glucose, he has used it in worse condition and came out pretty alive!

Even then, he guesses it's better to cut possible losses short, drag himself to the dorm and do some damage control with the anomalies because it's very unlikely that Towa or Ren suddenly got the calling to help around for once.

Looking around, what does feel unsettling even if just a second is how different the forest area looks compared to the last time he scouted the area. The terrain uncharacteristically steep compared to the usually plain jabberwock and the weirdly vast amount of fir and spruce when most of the trees were oak or anomalous species. 

Regardless, he brushes off whatever worry he could conceive. It isn't abnormal for Jabberwock to experiment sudden changes to account for new anomalies entering and leaving it, that could easily explain the trees and plants and the geography, while harder to change, it's still possible.

What was more concerning was his overall disorientation, if he could get to his dorm that would be great, did he walk towards or against the sun? He doesn't even remember how he managed to get himself here.

While looking down at the dry and rocky dirt trying to find footsteps a familiar voice presents itself as a better clue.

“Hey, stop it, be nice” the familiar childish reproach that you would tell to the miniature rams when they fought for territory, even when he explained they were totally grown and it was normal for them to fight, reaches his ears and he lets out a sigh in relief, he could at least trust in you to take care of some anomalies even if just for a little while.

As much as he loves his housemates he can't lie and say they are good at anomalously animals husbandry, Towa is quite a ditz and forgets feeding times and what each anomaly can eat -and tends to electrocute them but he doesn't know that- and Ren refuses to work around aquatic areas and if forced to he will audibly whine while doing it.

Still, knowing that you didn't have any real powers to protect yourself if any of the anomalies got rowdy, he decides to slide down the face of the mountain to where your voice is, maybe you will be able to guide him back to the dorm or explain to him what was happening. Sadly, he has to slide normally down the vertiginous terrain without using bahnti, it wouldn't be helpful to black out again and the heaviness settled in his head didn't give him a positive outlook. 

Angling down his foot just right and working along gravity, Haru starts surfing down a wave of dirt and rocks while dodging the branches and stumps on the way down the slope and soon enough reaches the foot of the mountain with slightly dirty clothes.

At the foot there is a small area blending the sharp and angular mountain range and a somewhat plain surface spotting a cozy cabin. Around it there was a grown up Peekaboo and a log thrown in the dirt, where you were seated holding a white fluff. 

That was Peekaboo! How did he not notice he wasn't in his baby carrier?! His hand lingers on his abdomen but he doesn't feel the fabric of the carrier, it must have fallen off and you found his little one.

“Natsu, you can't hurry how fast Pukaboo eats, he will get a tummy ache otherwise” you tell calmly but firmly to someone behind you. As Haru walks closer he sees a redheaded kid no older than 4 hanging from the same arm holding the bottle.

After walking a few meters away from the thickest part of the forest he seems to have caught your attention finally, if the way your head snapped up is anything to go by. With a smile on your lips you usher the kid away.

“There is your papa, why don't you help him feed peekaboo” and in 2  seconds a kid smashes face first against his abdomen and pulls him towards the big white fluff. As it unrolls from the furry sphere, it seems to perk up when it sees him, nudging its head against his leg. As he went to pet it the child pulled his hand back.

“Don’t pet him, papa, Peekaboo ate my chia pet! I hate him now” at the harsh words the creature whimpers, offended. His Peekaboo does make a habit of eating wild plants whenever Haru isn't monitoring his playtime but this is obviously a grown up of the same species, not a little baby.

“Peekaboo? But this little dude is huge! Peekaboo is small enough to carry” he laughs while scratching his neck. 

“Hm? Silly papa, Pukaboo is the tiny one, Peekaboo always was biggg” and almost to make a point the child extends his arms wide on the last word. The grown Peekaboo, supposedly his Peekaboo, keeps looking at him expectantly and tilts his fluffy head in just the same angle his baby would when begging for treats or scratches.

“Natsu, how do you intend to feed peekaboo without food? Go inside and get your dad the lettuce, it's in the kitchen sink” now finished feeding what Haru thought was his peekaboo you started walking towards them with the cub in your arms. 

Natsu slides away, a smile splitting his face in two, such a helpful kid, Haru can't help but think that he almost wishes Ren was as eager to help as him.

Watching as the cub is put down next to its father  and how quickly it hurries under his fur to hide from the cold and, without thinking about it, Haru laughs loudly. Even if anomalies weren't pets he himself admitted they were particularly cute when the temperature starts to drop. And they start being less aggressive and bite-y.

“Just like Natsu when he was a baby, don't you think? He would usually fight with Pukaboo to see who snuggled under your arm” in a friendly gesture your elbow him but soon your playful tone turns sober, and your eyes darken with worry “did something happen? You left before breakfast without even leaving a note” 

He stays uncharacteristically quiet, what could he even say? He doesn't even remember why he was out and about in the first place but you seem to have taken his silence as bad news.

“Did the new specimen not adapt well to here?”

“Ah, it's not that!”

With a sigh of relief you giggle “Did the director try to get you to act like a forest ranger for the normal part of the park? He never learns, huh?” linking your arms you start dragging him to the cabin, speaking lightheartedly about what he would like to eat, how you fed the anomalies or how fast Pukaboo and Natsu are growing.

Allowing himself to be dragged inside, into the welcoming warmth emanating from the fireplace and his family, the heavy knots tied inside his muscles relax feeling belonging in the little cozy home.

Hanging by the small foyer, you urge him to take off his muddied mountain boots to not drag dirt inside and he compiles without a word, sliding with his white socks on the hardwood floors.

“Daaaaad, can you help me open this?” the little redhead approaches him jumping with a little tin can on his hands but you snatch it.

“You can't eat sweets before lunch”

“But dad always eats gummies before leaving” 

“Those are collagen gummies for his joints, not sweet ones” The kid pouts and runs off to his room, in response you only roll your eyes and return the treat to the kitchen cabinets “you need to eat something. There is toast, some cereal…”

“Cereal is good” it isn't often that he gets hounded to take care of himself, Elias would sometimes tell him off for overexerting himself or peel him apples whenever he inevitably ended up in the infirmary, but the fuzzy tingling in his chest at being taken cared of by someone else tickles a part of his brain so nicely. 

Allowing himself to be swayed by the arm pulling him into your arms and down to the sofa, he feels coddled like a sick little child.

A hand rakes his hair while both of you look at the empty wall in front of the sofa until a tiny bit squeaky voice whines.

“Hey! Don't cuddle without me!” your kid's voice whines as he throws himself at his dad's stomach, attempting to burrow between his parents and almost making the bowl slip from Haru's hands.

“Be careful! You are going to make a mess with the milk!” Even as you chastise him you still throw an end of the blanket over his head, encouraging him to burrow further and you yourself lay your head on Haru's, making a sort of cocoon with hugs and blankets.

Your warm breath as you laugh fans against his skin causing goosebumps but he leans against you, cheek resting against your collarbone and his ear just snug enough against your skin to catch the heartbeat lying under it. 

“Haru?” You ask him and he lets out an acknowledging hum but you don't relent “Haru? Haru, Haru?”

With each repetition of his name it almost feels like you are getting further and further away from him. It isn't like he would be able to check, his eyelids suddenly weighted down like concrete. Being unable to open his eyes makes Haru notice how the rest of his body is also too heavy to move even one inch.

A heavy hand grasps his forearm, turning it around to show the inner side and pricks the skin to inject something making him progressively harder to hang onto his consciousness. A string of tiny whispers reaches his ears.

“He still doesn't wake up” 

“If you account for his less than optimal sleep schedule and the hyperpyrexia from the venom it isn't weird he is still out. Why don't you return to class?” 

“Are you sure? I would like to see him wake up before leaving though” 

“Luckily you brought him soon enough but he still needs to rest” 

 The sun is settling down the horizon when Haru wakes up for good, no more fog clouding his mind and his muscles working as he intends. He is able to sit up before a mortkraken student notices he is awake. 

“Oh, good, you are finally up”

“Did something happen?”

“seems like one of the snake like anomalies bit you” her eyes screen a piece of paper Haru guesses is his medical record. He does remember having to feed the tsuchinoko hatchlings, it is likely that one of them grew its fangs and bit his ankle without him noticing.

“Even if you are a ghoul you should take care of yourself, you know”

Without paying her much mind he says but gets brushed off “I had such a weird dream”

“The venom or the fever might have made you hallucinate, was it at least a nice dream?”

"very nice"  

[wizardnaturalist]

I am not about to sit here and claim that any work is above reproach, but so many criticisms of RENT are either directly addressed within the show or are just. not true. and this perennial discourse about how Problematic it is annoys me, so here we go

Why don't they just pay the rent?

are you kidding me

did you watch the show??

they don't have any money

the situation established at the beginning is that Benny has allowed them to stay in their apartment rent free for the past year because Roger was unable to work and he and Mark wouldnt be able to afford living expenses as well as Roger's medication otherwise.

Benny then tells them that unless they break up Maureen's protest, they will not only have to immediately start paying rent, they will also have to pay back the entire previous year's rent or else be evicted

needless to say if you ware barely scraping by, you do not have a year's worth of rent and then some just sitting on hand

Mark was cosplaying poverty, he could've gone back to his parents' house at any time.

perhaps

all we know about Mark's parents from canon is that theyre pushy and he doesnt want to live with them. We don't know any details of their living situation or home life

but even if he would have been fine moving back home, it would have meant abandoning both the community he had grown into, and Roger.

Roger literally had not left the apartment since April died, and was not well enough to work to support himself at the time. Mark leaving would mean leaving Roger without support.

Mark's view of the homeless is often voyeuristic and expoitative.

yah

the conflict between Mark's comparatively privileged upbringing and the poverty amongst which he now lives is a major part of his character

remember when that homeless lady told him to fuck off

that didnt just slip in by accident

The whole show is about not being able to afford things, and then Mark quits his job for his Ideals.

Mark was not entirely jobless before being employed at the magazine. He wasn't going from having a job to unemployment. He always had money for food, clothes, medication, etc., even if it was tight

he just wasn't employed in his field. it wasnt a question of Having A Job or Not; it was about whether Mark was willing to accept the chance to get closer to making a living off of his art, even if it went against his morals, or whether he could be content carving out filmmaking for himself in a way that felt right

I thought Jonathan Larson was gay and died of AIDS.

not his fault??

neither Larson nor his estate ever claimed either of those things, you just jumped to a conclusion and made it everyone elses' problem

I can't believe this is a common "criticism"

A straight man has no right to write about the AIDS epidemic.

I dont know how to tell you this, but AIDS is not a gays-only disease. what are you, a politician from 1986?

RENT was not about being gay, it was about the disease. Roger, Mimi, Mark, and Benny- half the main cast- are all straight as far as the audience is aware. other than gay people, the most at-risk groups at the time were IV drug users, sex workers, people of colour, and impoverished people, all of whom are represented in the show

Larson may not have had AIDS, but many of his friends and loved ones did, and died of it. how incredibly callous to say that someone cannot write about the tragedy they personally lived through, just because they are not of the demographic you most associate with it

Larson plagiarized the whole cast and all the major story beats from Sarah Shulman's People in Trouble.

this is one that cropped up on tiktok a couple years ago

have you read the book?

I have

the only similarities are that they are both about poverty and AIDS in New York, and there are characters who cheat on their partners. that's it.

it's like saying Veep plagiarized The West Wing because theyre both about white house staffers. or like those guys who claim any fantasy story featuring swords and the hero's journey is a Star Wars ripoff. it' absurd.

RENT is directly and openly based off the opera La Bohème by Puccini, as well as incorporating autobiographical elements from Larson's life

stop just repeating things you hear

in conclusion: there are real criticisms and analyses to be had with RENT, but these are not them

[darkniters]

jschlatt whos a bartender

im adding onto this post

your group of friends all leave one by one, leaving you the only one of your group left in the bar, waiting for your lift home (because you cant drink drive!)

you decide not to drink anything else, having your fill for the night and just ready to conk out the second your head hits the pillows.

youre reproached by the bartender, youve been sitting at the bar while you wait, not thinking one person is worthy to occupy an entire table. he greets you with a smile.

“you want anything else?” he leans forward as he asks this, smile on his lips. you shake your head, leaning in closer again.

“no, no, im done for the evening, thank you though!” you can tell yourself its because you dont want any alcohol in you all you want, but really its because that shit costs money.

“hey, if you want i can make you something alcohol free?” he offers, “it’d be my honor, and i’ll even make it on the house. just for you toots” he grins, subtly flirting with you

a roll of your eyes and a small chuckle leaves your lips. “alright, if you insist.”

it seems as if this bartender cant stop smiling, as he moves away, he’s got the widest smile youve ever seen from a person, teeth showing in all their pearly glory. he briefly walks away to get a glass.

while he’s gone, however, the universe decided that you’re its next victim.

a man approaches the chair beside you, and sits himself down. theres a strong attempt from you to pay him no heed, to focus on the man behind the bar making your elaborate yet alcohol free drink, but this man is in dire need of your attention it seems, staring you out while you look forward.

you sigh, turn towards him, and give him a small, unmotivated smile.

you’re not really listening to what he has to say, but he does say “whats a place like you doing in a girl like this” which is just. not right. at all. it makes you laugh though.

you don’t care about this guy enough to listen to him babble on about himself, and it seems the same comes from the bartender, finishing your drink and setting it infront of you.

while the guy doesnt seem like trouble, youre still wildly uncomfortable, and you give a sideeye to the bartender. his brown eyes are already on you, as he scratches the side of his face. the beard below his nails make a noise.

he understands your look, and he nods subtlety.

“hey man, this is my girlfriend youre speaking to. may wanna back off a bit.” the bartender says monotonously. he then reaches out his hand and grabs ahold of yours, gripping it softly.

the other man is surprised, probably just as surprised you are. you play along though.

“yeah sorry, i just wanted to see this man on shift, cant get any better than a man in uniform, right?” you regard cheekily. although its brash, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

his tight fit black shirt is doing something to you, and he’s now looking out for you? you gotta come back here more often.

the bartender grins as the man leaves in a huff, giving up on his attempts to further advance with you. at some point, his fingers began to run left to right over your knuckle, without either of you noticing, it seems.

when you look back to him, his face is red, still gripping your hand. he clears his throat “apologies, i didnt mean to go to that level of extreme… in which saying we were together…” he seems flustered and embarrassed that he thought of that, and he physically cringed at himself for even bringing it to light.

he attempted to move his hand away, but your clamp on his hand was stronger. the heat between you two couldve melted the ice in your still undrunk drink. you cant help but smile. “i didnt mind at all, thank you.”

both of you are overjoyed that there are more than one bartenders working tonight, because everyone else wouldve been left waiting, your red faces looking into eachother as your hands stay pressed together.

he clears his throat.

“um. its not often time i find myself asking this but. can i give you my number?”

you pretend to think, lifting your unoccupied hand and tracing a finger around the rim of the drink he made for you.

you respond quietly, jokingly, “only because you paid for my drink”

a smile is exchanged between you to. he writes his number on a napkin, and leaves you to put it in while he runs off to server other customers, his eyes often looming back over to you while you drink your final drink of the night.

you call him over before you leaving, letting him know that youre going.

“please let me know when you get home!” he calls out as you walk away.

you turn your head and smile his way, giving a quick nod and a wave his direction.

when the bartender finishes his shift, he finally gets access to his phone again, you shouldn’t have your phone with you behind the counter! you’ll get distracted easily!

he sees he has 3 messages from an unknown number

‘hiiii im home btw :]’

‘wait i didnt give you my name oopsies‘

‘anyways GOOBDIGHT’

he cant help but let out one of those large grins he does, hoping he will see you at the bar, or other places, again soon.

[andreabaideas]

Do you have any headcanons for how Billy reacts when Camila or Julia's sick?

Yes, but not many..

• When Julia its sick, Billy feels worried, sick and suffers a lot until she is healthy again.

• Camila is always healthy all her life, she didn't even got the flu. She seemed to be sort of a Wonderwoman, so no one had to worry about her health, not even Billy, she was never sick ever....Until she was so sick that she died. Her sickness was the shock of Billy's life , because he thought her almost inmortal, like a deity, he always thought that he would be the one to die first.

•Billy always stays by Julia's and by Camila's bed sides, just like he did with Graham when they were kids, as their mom worked a lot, and they didn't have a dad (one that matters). He feels that everyone deserves someone by their side when they are sick...

• ...Excepto himself. He doesnt feel like he deserves having anyone by his bed side, because absolutely no one he has ever loved has been by his bed side while sick, especially when he was on rehab. No one really : Teddy left him at rehab, but never came to visit him, Graham doesnt know how to deal with sickness, so he never visited, Camila (as much as she loves him) lets be honest she didnt behave in a correct way on that matter, she never went to visit him on any of the rehabs...Billy feels (inner) alone and that because no one really helps him through his issues , that he doesnt deserve that...He feels that he doesnt deserve love.

• Until Julia grows Up acknowledges what his father may be feeling, and then she starts to get involved in the AA reunions for family of AA people.

•Billy and Julia get even Closer after that and after Camila's death.

That's it about my headcanons.

+ Unpopular Opinion about Camila and the band...(Sorry not sorry)

I know my headcanon about Billy's feelings is brutal, and not something people would want to hear....but in both book and show canon Camila (nor the band) never visited Billy at rehab, because just didn't, so...It speaks negatively about Camila denying realities that she doesn't like, she was delulu seeing life in Pink colored glasses in a way.

That wasn't okay, and I myself personally , as someone who knows someone who is exaddict (very Dear to me) and as someone who has visited while at rehab, as soon as the doctors let me that is ...And im not romantically involved or married...

They didn't do right by Billy, specially Camila being his wife. One of the few things I feel free to reproach Camila and the rest it's that. No matter the unfaithfullness, the messups, if you really LOVE someone and you supposedly forgive him, then you stay in both the highs and the lows. If you dont want to forgive and truly be there then you divorce. Period.

They all failed and neglected Billy greatly. That's why im giving him someone good for him (Julia). who gets what addiction is and accompanies him on that addiction issue, so that he isn't so lonely.

That's it.

[sunlightandsuffering]

Why do I have the feeling Corruption Eren eventually beats up Rainer and Porco?? Just like he does in canon lol. Like they are part of the popular group that bullied Eren but now he doesnt give a shit, fucks them up if they give him reason to. Mikasa is like 😰😰 they are her friends too but she cant really reproach Eren while she's cockwarming him

OU PROBABLY! Any opportunity he gets he’s fighting!!! He finds them after school and BOOM shit kicked out of them lol. Mikasa is a little attracted to him for it but also mildly horrified bc those are her friends I think she’s very conflicted 😂😂

[cleromancy]

i dont disagree with some of the ideas presented here but i actually think your argument would hold more water if you accurately described uh. Any of the canon events you're referring to

like objectively speaking tt29 wasnt a murder attempt, you *can* make an argument i *guess* that his appearance in GA was but its flimsy when mia says *herself* that he wasnt actually trying to kill her, and damian was only 10 in bftc (and i can and will argue that even that one was still a little ambiguous im terms of whether it was a deliberate murder attempt just bc tony daniel cant fucking write coherently). and like yeah daniel and bftc is absolutely one where im like yeah okay yeah obviously they told it wrong and something different happened. but imo you kind of undermine your own point when you want to talk about author intent while not... actually talking about what they actually did write.

like when jason killed a bunch of people in prison its right before breaking out and imo the juxtaposition heavily implies hes doing all that to get to sasha bc he already knew before the kidnappers contacted him that shes in danger. and i think thats way more compelling and adds way more depth than just "well it was probably self defense it was probably completely justified"

so its like. again i don't disagree with reimagining some of the shallow or bigoted or meanspirited or nonsense jason stories but i feel like these were not really good examples compared to like for example brothers in blood (where he vores like 2 guys), morrisons jason, or jasons dialogue early in his appearance at the end of robin 1993 where hes talking about using kids as fodder for the greater good, or like i said earlier (like im *always* saying) stupid battle for the stupid cowl. Like jason does not actually need to be beyond reproach to be sympathetic or to have a point, and i feel like he loses something when you like take away for example the elements of moral hypocrisy wholesale as if they never happened. and the line where a story is obviously bullshit with an agenda to the point that you stop listening to it and start doing your own Thing is individual but tbh. i really think that "my fav did nothing wrong" attitudes has become a curse and a plague where instead of engaging with stories to find whats the most compelling and interesting its like how can we reimagine this specifically so the ones i like are beyond reproach.

i guess its just like i do feel like its worth engaging with stories and what they Are actually saying before you throw them out claiming theyre nonsensical or bigoted. bc some of them are and should be thrown out for that reason but theres a difference btwn that and jason just being portrayed as a complicated guy who is nevertheless still likable and sympathetic. like he doesnt actually need to be 100% unassailably in the right to have actually been treated with respect by the narrative.

I’ve realized that the main reason I don’t give a fuck about Red Hood’s actual canon crimes is not that I think they’re justified, or reasonable, or even just funny. He has been shown doing very fucked up shit that at times has very little, if anything, to do with any reasonable moral code. But the reason I don’t care is that I’ve steadily become very critical of villain framing. It’s so very common to have a villain say something very reasonable like “poor people shouldn’t die” and then complement it with “and I will kill babies about it.” If the first statement is reasonable, and the narrative does not provide a reason that justifies the balls-to-the-wall batshit “solution” the character came up with, then I assume the author is either deliberately or subconsciously villainizing a specific group of people for no reason, and I don’t vibe with that. At that time I no longer care about what the author/narrative actually has to say and my reaction becomes “the narrator is actually a biased witness and anything they say about this person’s actions should be taken as exaggeration”. Oh, so Jason is an indiscriminate killer who thinks every petty criminal deserves to die? Wrong. They’re exaggerating and taking the facts out of context. So he killed a hundred people in prison with barely any provocation? It probably wasn’t that many and the ones he did were trying to kill him to begin with, with no intervention from the guards, so it was self defense. He attempted to kill a child? Wrong, that was a two-sided fight between two teenagers, he just won so the other one’s bitter. Like, I don’t care how much made up context I need to stuff in there to make it make sense, I will do it because the narrative decided to frame the homeless kid from a poor neighborhood as the villain against the nice and kindhearted humanitarian billionaire so its logic is fucked from the get-go

[mmmcheetos]

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bw85cjBOzhXwMflMumwe4?si=b4fa8ff4dc1049a6 - idk if i've ever shared the jinxue story playlist with you so here!! (yes ik there is a disturbing amount of fnaf songs, i'm on tumblr, what did you expect?)

If i may be so bold, I'd like to elaborate on the song choice 'Main Character'! It's Jin Yuran 1.0 and the song is him sloooowwwwlllyyyyy descending into insanity while trying to keep positive because he's the beaming eldest son made of sun rays. However, the bridge is when he properly loses it, and i've assigned little lyrics to people in my head so forgive me briefly while i explain it to you like a goddamn film script: Lai Yingxue: "Judge me by what my cover shows/" (practically emotionless on the outside and this is how everyone percieves him) "author becomes beyond reproach/" (Because of his disposition, he's talked ill off) "you don't know the prose or is the spine is still intact" (No one ever actually bothers to get to know him, his thoughts and feelings are ignored due to his demeanour, a book never read because the words look too long)

JYR's Dad: "...The Royak We/demand a standard of loyalty/in order to be reverent, lick the emperor's new boots" (Forcing the guoshi all to listen and obey and basically suck up to him, at risk of their loved one's lives)

Mai Guiying: "The court's fool got the guillotine" (1, his head was cut off, 2, he is the 'fool' of the court, naive and trusting but too scared to actually seek help until, eventually, he goes to the wrong person)

all guoshi: "we all do what we need to to get through/" (them taking their anger out on the children, slowly becoming cruel and bitter as being held hostage in a gilded cage put on display makes them slowly begin to lose any care they had for being in the moral right, just desperate for catharsis) JYR, in the immediate following lyric: "But I ain't done a fucking thing to you!" (He's an innocent bystander who was caught as a ransom in a war he didn't know existed - he never hurt anyone until he broke)

Also JYR, fast forwarding a few lines: "I mean, imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme!" (This one is a scene in my head of emporer JYR holding a hostage LYX's face, screaming desperately into a blank expression - the impact of the line comes from the irony: LYX was no antagonist, he didn't have an evil scheme. He and his friends lashed out and it hurt the wrong person. JYR was never part of the equation but he was the one who ended the game by destroying it. His descent to madness was an accident, not deliberate, but he cannot see it any other way because he simply doesnt know. In his decimated mind, LYX is a man of no love, empathy or kindness; he is a true villain)

Yikes, i just went english student-ish on you my apologies-

anyways, enjoy my thoughts!!!

🐉

au contraire there is not enough fnaf songs (i am on tumblr too my friend). there are so many bangers in this playlist tho love to see it

also don't apologise !!! i loved reading through this (especially after a ridiculous amount of math, i think i'm descending into insanity)

i'm now thinking about what you said ("while trying to keep positive because he's the beaming eldest son made of sun rays.") and how "i'm the main character, you have to like me" applies to jyr bc he's he prince! he's trying so hard to impress his tutors! and yet, they all hate him and make him suffer. and his second chance at life is a chance for him to be that likable, o.p. main character. idk tho i am not the english student here i have lost the ability to analyse texts

[writingmysanity]

Slowing down

Prompt: Smile + lunch dates on busy days

Pairing: Viktor x Botanist!reader

Word count: 1490

TW: sweet, really sweet... i will not pay for your dentist visit.

A/N: I wrote this at 3 am- so I am sorry if there are any mistakes or if Viktor seems too OOC. i just felt like some sweet fluff in the middle of some chaos i needed from time to time. Unbeta'd as per usual- all mistakes are my own.

This is part of the "sanctuary" universe but is a side piece not in the actual plot of said story as I work on the larger pieces.

Life on campus can only be categorized as busy, bodies hurling past each other in a blur. Everyone has somewhere to be, or something to do in the name of Progress. 

As someone who naturally comes with their own speedometer, you are often looked at as a blockage, a nuisance- what your professors have categorized as “slow” as you refuse to rush your life to accommodate someone else's lack of planning. They can't fault you, you are at the top of your class, your grades set the bar. They just don't understand why you would rather actually spend your time off not working, or how you can contemplate leaving somewhere a bit earlier in order to not have to sprint to your next destination. 

Tactfully stepping to the side, weaving through the hordes of bodies swirling around you, you hum, pausing mid step to spin, soaking in the warmth of the sun after another harsh winter, laughter bubbling out of you at the sweet smell of spring. 

The closer you get to the lab, the sparser the amount of people, as Viktor and Jayce purposefully placed themselves the furthest they could from the masses to ensure silence. Readjusting the boxes in your hands, you move to free a hand, shouldering into the building. At first glance, there is nothing. No one home- the only sounds being that of machinery hissing and whining in random corners- the scientists’ newer projects. 

Quietly, you pad in, gently closing the door behind you, careful not to startle the two bodies huddled over their respective desks, hunched over to the point of, if you didn't know any better, you would say that they’re asleep. Chuckling softly, you meet Jayce’s eyes first, the man straightening with a grin, tired eyes drooping as he drops his pen.

“Nym,” he calls happily, moving to stand, hands out in an offer to help unload the boxes in your hands. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.” laughing, you hand him the top box, patting his arm gently. You can feel Viktor’s eyes on you even before you turn to meet them.

“I come bearing gifts,” you tease, turning towards your favorite scientist. Though it could be said that you are biased. Probably. 

Viktor straightens as well, though he doesnt move to stand, but instead offers you a tired smile as he stretches his arms above his head, the cracks resounding on the otherwise quiet room.

“What did you bring?” he asks gently, huffing at the release of his sore joints. Jayce answers before you're able, his excitable voice floating around you both happily as he opens the box you handed him.

“Lunch!” you both chuckle at his excitement. Nodding, you pull up a stool next to Viktor, smiling sweetly up at him.

“Indeed, it is time for your mandatory lunch break,” you hum, placing a box in front of him. Leaning over the box a bit, he looks at it curiously, but does not open it yet- inspecting it. You laugh.

“The food is inside, Vik.”

“Ha ha,” he grouches playfully, tugging it open, his eyes fluttering closed when the smells hit him, sighing happily. “Very funny.” what was supposed to sound reproachful just came out as a breathy hum as his shoulders slump. 

Pausing, you pick at the lid of your own meal, smiling up at him sheepishly.

“So, you know, it's been a while since we got to eat together…” you mumble, looking up at him through your lashes. He pauses in starting to pull out the food you've made, looking down at you thoughtfully. He just nods slightly, leaning back in his chair, softening.

“It has,” he sighs, looking rather apologetic, and you can't seem to be upset with him. It's been busy for you all, he and jayce especially as they are working on the final pieces of the hexgate, ensuring that they will be done on time and work as planned. Smiling, you lean forward, resting your hand over his, hoping it shows that you aren't upset with him. 

“Would I be able to convince you to leave the lap to eat with me?” he doesn't even pause to think about it, immediately moving to box up his food with a smile.

“No convincing needed, my dear,” he hums, standing slowly, wincing as a few of his joints groan in protest- he has been sitting for entirely too long. “I believe some fresh air will do me good.” Jayce agrees from across the room, already shoveling the food into his mouth.

“I will be back later,” Viktor states, looking at his partner who just nods, smiling.

“Take your time.”

Gathering both boxes up, you hand Viktor his cane, beaming up at him. Chuckling, he motions for you to lead the way, holding the door open for you. Turning you, place your foot in front of it to keep it open for him to move through. He just smiles, gently squeezing your arm in appreciation as the door slides closed behind you both. Quietly, he holds a hand out for one of the boxes, but you just grin, adjusting your hold on them, taking his hand in yours. 

Quirking an eyebrow at you, he doesn't say anything, just laces his fingers with yours as you start towards the greenhouse in silence. In a world so loud, it was pleasant to just be able to be quiet with him, walking comfortably, occasionally bumping your shoulder into his arm, earning a chuckle as he paused to tap your foot with his cane playfully. 

“You'll topple me over one of these days,” he teases, his eyes glowing like sunshine. You can't help the softening of your resolve to try and keep a straight face, his smile just as blinding.

“You'll do that to yourself, tapping me with your support device,” you counter. Snorting a laugh, he bumps his shoulder to yours, eyes sparkling with mirth. 

“I would never make you hit yourself, darling,” he hums, tugging your hand to help you up a cobblestone step leading around to your garden. This time, you snort at him, shaking your head.

“How sweet,” he just nods, feigning seriousness. 

“I think it's all the sweet milk,” he states, shrugging. 

“Sound scientific,” you offer, motioning for him to sit first at your normal table at the edge of the forest of trees. He shrugs you off, pulling your chair out for you instead, waiting patiently until you slide in, huffing at his stubbornness, mumbling a thank you. 

“It is,” he assures you. “I've done extensive research. Now tell me, dear. How is your work?” reaching for his box, he starts pulling out his food, you parroting his motions as you start in about the council’s newest regulations, funding and your frustration at their shortened timeline and expectations for better results.

“Progress never sleeps,” he muses as he eats, the motion reminding you to take a bite yourself.

“I get that, I do. But I am a botanist- not a mage.” you grumble. “No matter how often Mel refers to my abilities as magic.” This makes Viktor snort a laugh. “They’re plants, Vik. I can't make them bloom any quicker than the season allows.” 

“Seems they will just have to be patient,” he agrees, hand resting over top of yours as he continues to eat. Grinning, you shake your head.

“Because they are so patient,” you muse, relishing in the warmth of his hand for a moment before turning your hand palm up. He doesn't lace your fingers, starting to stroke over your palm slowly, soothingly, in random patterns, humming in agreement. 

“Truly, they make Jayce look patient,” he muses back, earning a laugh. He beams at that, rubbing his thumb into the meat of your palm. 

Pausing, you sigh, smiling up at him.

“Thank you for eating with me,” you hum, looking sheepish. “It's rather lonely without you,” you admit, scratching the back of your neck sheepishly. Softening, Viktor tugs you closer by your hand, lips running along the side of your nose and under your eye, making your eyes flutter at the sensation. 

“I've missed you, too,” he whispers, still barely an inch from your face, golden eyes seeming to swirl with light. You don't even fight getting lost in them until they close, two fingers under your chin tugging you closer to bridge the gap. His lips are feather light, barely there until you lean into him, tugging him even closer by his tie. 

“Hmm,” you sigh as you pull back, but neither of you move very far away, eyes opening slowly. “You probably need to get back soon.” he shakes his head, smiling. “But the gates-”

“Can wait,” he states simply, running his thumb over your cheek. Frowning, you fight the urge to melt into his touch.

“Jayce-”

“-said to take my time,” he shrugs, standing slowly, grabbing his cane before offering you his free hand. “And I intend to.” 

__

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[makingspiritualityreal]

Intense shadow work for childhood trauma. Useful guide if you want to work through the same.

Since yesterday I've been doing intense shadow work regarding my relationship with my father and I reached a stage when I'm ready to put at least some of my conclusions in writing. I tried to do bullet points but tumblr doesnt allow it.

This is the subject my mind is escaping from possibly the most. Even writing this post, my brain tried to force me into switching mindlessly between tabs because it's nervous. I kept drinking water and juice and looking out the window because of such a high level of stress. When I recently had to meet with my father, I had insomnia the night before and struggled to calm down. I am normally very keen on self analysis and introspection, but this is the one topic that makes my mind ready to just run for the hills. I literally have sweaty palms while trying to do this shadow work sessions, which NEVER happens.

Well that doesn't lead anywhere so we're not going that. Also, it is unfair to any future relationship with a man I might have, because if I don't deal with this it will just get manifested externally through any guy I fall for, and I have had enough heartbreak for a lifetime so no thank you. No matter what I do, some shadows will resurface in relationships anyway, but both parties always intensely project the respective parental figure on each other in relationships so that's a given. Might as well do my best with what my conscious mind is bringing up.

What bothers me is that there is something here that scares me that I am not aware of. I am aware of what I'm about to write, but there is something that feels like what is the source of my biggest panic...but I can't put my finger on what that is. Maybe knowing that I'm about to get abused by him? So just the fear of facing an abuser? The helplessness of being a child in an abusive situation?

Oh just realised, hyperfixation on physical symptoms is something a person does when they are trying to escape from the emotional load. Right now I was hyperaware that my mouth is dry, and I normally never focus on my physical body to that extent. The mind is terrified of the emotional process so it tried to push it into the physical. I've seen so many people to do it, fidget, move around, try to take a pill for the physical symptom instead of facing the emotion...it's funny to observe it from the inside of my own mind. It's ok brain, we can hold it.

One point I never addressed mentally before is how badly my mom and her side of the family handled the situation with my father. My mom encouraged me to forgive him endlessly and was too nice to him, because obviously he's got plenty of his own problems which is why he hurt me so much, but she didn't encourage my own self-provision and self protection and self-care enough, but instead trained me to give people too many chances, even when they behave badly. This is something I worked through as an adult, but it took several very painful situations for me to learn that, as it involved me going against my entire upbringing to be able to stand up for myself. But I never realised before, how much my mom has been a bad example in this department, even with my father.

Which brings me to my next point. My roommate pointed it out to me yesterday, as I was doing shadow work with her as a soundboard, jokingly saying that my father acted as if I was his secret mistress he was only visiting at his convenience. The moment she said that, I realised she was right, and I also realised the thought never crossed my mind because I was so used to this pattern, and because my mom's side of the family never questioned or criticised his behaviour in this department, no matter how much they disliked my father for other things. So literally all of my primary caregivers messed up on that front...never pointing out, acknowledging or even yelling at my father for the side of the abuse that was happening here.

Which is why I was never able to reproach this to my father, because you can't reproach a parent something you are not aware of. Not that I'm really dreaming of consistent contact with him, because of his other abusive behaviours...but the lack of consistency is just another side of abuse. I noticed it especially in contrast with my roommate, who by the way has a very strong Sun astrologically while I have a debilitated one...her father messages her constantly. He doesn't exactly send love letters as his messages are very curt, and he has his own flaws, but there is consistent, supportive contact that shows interest and care in his daughters life.

That brings me to my next point with my father. When it comes to the date and time at which the contact would occur, it was always at his convenience. He would invite me on Christmas because it was convenient for him. He would take me on holidays when, where and how it was convenient for him. He would contact me when it was convenient for him. If I tried to protest in any way, voiced my needs and stood up for myself, he called me spoilt or reproached it to me as if it was my fault, even though I was in the right. He would act as if doing the smallest little thing for me was too much and I'm crazy for demanding basic respect and acknowledgement. He would act as if my needs and desires were "objectively wrong and irrational" even if it meant me demanding basic things for myself. My mom's family didn't help me with this either...because they would give him excuses, saying "he's working" and not acknowledge the problem of his selfishness...again.

I swear, every single abusive mechanic I talk about brings me to another one...when my father and I already would meet, he would always talk almost exclusively about himself...he never listened to me. He wasn't interested in my opinions and feelings, instead he would go on long, bitter tirades about how the world has gone to the dogs. Which involved no self-reflection on his part whatsoever, and no realisation that his life has gone to shit because he ruined it himself. If he already addressed me, it was to criticise me or abuse me verbally. He acted as if my word had no merit whatsoever, because I was too young to speak up and he knew everything better...even though he was wrong about everything.

That abusive treatment was contrasting very strongly with his tendency of replacing me with other women, whether that be romantic or not. Where he would give me no attention, he would give attention to his mistress, who was practically my age and much younger than him. Where he would give me no money or no care, he gave money to my younger sister...who grew up not appreciating anything he has done to her. Where he would be abusive to me, he would glorify other women as better than me. It was unfair and unrealistic, and left me with a deep sense of inadequacy.

The other problem that I reproach strictly to my mom's side of the family, was an attempt to replace my father with my grandfather and not acknowledging the loss of a father figure in my life. My grandfather was my favourite person in the world, and indeed I prefer him to my father, but that doesn't mean that his presence should be used to keep me silent about the trauma of loss of my actual father. That doesn't mean you can use my grandfather as a coverup for all the other horrible things that happened to me.

Ok I just realised these feelings have hurt me deeply on such an unconscious level, that I forgot how it feels to experience them, even though my mind processed it consciously, my emotions were completely disconnected. My mom's side of the family not acknowledging the wrongness of the situation hurt me extra and made me feel like there was no space for my pain to the point that I struggled to even connect to the pain now, because I felt like I was forced to repress it. I wrote about these things now, and it took me a good half hour of writing to dig into the feeling of emotional pain that all these things that I went through caused in me.

Telling me that "he is still my father and I should respect him because he is family". My uncle still says it to me to this day and asks if I "talk to my father". This is my mom's side of the family still encouraging the abuse, in other forms.

Honestly this is scary. Not just how wrong my father's behaviour was, because this I was more or less aware of, but how the rest of my family, who should have defended me in this situation, instead forced me to stuff down my feelings and perpetuate the abuse because of some social clichés of "respecting your parents". Which means I'm angry not just with my father but my entire family for this dynamic. That no one did anything to help me, and everyone forced me into this abusive situation without explaining anything to me, and I had no means to defend myself as a child. Frankly, I think it even did my father wrong, because maybe he would have treated me better, if he received better boundaries, and I was too young to emulate them on my own.

Which brings me to another point...the repression I experienced in this situation went so far, because not only I felt like I couldn't express myself in front of the abuser, but I also felt like I had to keep quiet about it in front of the rest of the family so that I would be loved by them. Kind of like an alcoholic's wife tells the kids to be silent when he beats them, so that the neighbours don't notice. My mom is probably rolling in her grave stricken with guilt, sorry not sorry mom. At least I'm doing the work you should have done.

And another consequence to this whole mess, holy shit how many are there...not only I felt like I couldn't complain about the abuse to my father, then I had to keep shtum in from of my mom and grandparents too, but I also felt like I had to keep a socially polite face in front of anyone else. My roommate just knocked on my door to ask for something, and my brain automatically started to run away from the subject and the pain involved, so that I wouldn't even be aware of it in front people, which means I can hide it easier. Which is ridiculous because this roommate is the one that helps me do the shadow work, so I have nothing to be afraid of. But good to know the mechanism exists.

I have been trying to have a serious cry about all this this whole time, and the emotion is bubbling under the surface, and it's blocked and doesn't wanna come out. Maybe I need another person for that.

My inner child is screaming "Why did no one take care of me?". Which makes sense, because no one actually did. My inner adult is offended at the psychological incompetence of my whole environment. I don't really have many maternal instincts now, and I have way too many problems of my own to deal with, but I'd like to think I would do better as a parent than this.

It can be a bit of a struggle, but I will try to envision a male figure that behaves better than this and emotionally manifest better treatment. I struggle to imagine it. I don't know how it feels to be properly taken care of. I know I deserve better but there is a part of me that feels fundamentally fragmented because of all these things. Plus I will try to have that cry irl eh. It's hard to do it, because all of this made me feel as if I can't cry in front of others, and the whole subject is mentally and emotionally heavy and confusing, but I will try nevertheless.

[jjaybank]

Makeover || JJ Maybank Request

[gif credit to @rudypankows]

Request: Anon- ‘Can i perhaps get a JJ Maybank x reader, she’s been part of the pogues since forever and shes kinda boyish, like the way she dresses and acts so other boys have never hit on her or looked twice and its bothered her since cause she wants to be girly but doesnt know where to start. So Kie & Sarah gives her a make over for a Kegger and it leaves the pogues & even the kooks speechless because wow she’s beautiful and JJ doesn’t know how to be himself around her anymore? 😭❤️❤️’ Okay so I’ve changed this a tiny bit I hope that’s okay?? Just because, I don’t think JJ needs someone to dress a certain way in order to fancy them. I hope thats okay!!! xx Warnings: Under-age drinking, tiny bit of jealous JJ Word Count: 1.5K A/N:  It was so nice to write non-angsty JJ for a bit - it’s good for the soul.

------------------------------------------------------------

JJ had always known that you were beautiful.  You always had your hair pulled up in a bun and out of your eyes, and your clothes were more practical than fashionable.  But despite the number of times he’d seen you drenched in sweat from the sun, or emerging, winded from the sea, after being wiped out by a wave, he just knew that there was something about you.  It annoyed him slightly, that other boys barely seemed to show you any attention, and then when they did you were completely oblivious. He’d often catch himself gazing for too long at your sun kissed skin, sparkling with seawater. Or watching the way you scrunched up your nose when you were concentrating. So when he sees you, face made-up and in a bardot sundress, he chokes on his beer.

You were sat in John B’s spare room, face to face with two very insistent girls.  You had protested Kiara and Sarah’s suggestion of a makeover at first.  It didn’t feel very you, but they were stubborn, you’d give them that.  You finally cracked when Sarah stuck out her bottom lip and started packing all her outfits back into her bag at a snail’s pace, shooting you over-the-top sad glances the entire time.

‘Okay, okay – fine.’ You sigh, kind of playing up to how much of an inconvenience they were being.  There was definitely a part of you that was excited by the prospects of embracing your feminine side.   Sarah looked like she’d won the lottery, and tipped her bag up on its end, spilling a variety of thin, slippery, short items of clothing onto the floor.  

The brushes and powders made you sneeze, and Kie accidentally poked the mascara wand into your eye.  You try on every combination of the outfits at least four times, growing more and more reluctant. Until Kie finally helped you settle on a simple yet elegant dress.  You couldn’t remember the last time you wore a dress.  Perhaps your Christening?  Sarah struggled for a while to tame your sea salty hair, and then finally they turn you to look in the mirror.  You audibly gasp.  Every element of yourself is still there; the slightly wild hair, the bruised knees, and wide toothy grin – but it’s all slightly more refined and you look, dare you say it, pretty.   You sat with a drink in hand, waiting for the other two to finish getting ready.  It wasn’t too much longer before all three of you made your way outside to where the boys had been waiting on the hammocks. John B stared a bit as you crossed the yard to them and you suddenly felt absolutely ridiculous.  Sarah and Kie noticed you slowing down, and each grab you by and arm and practically frogmarch you over to your friends. ‘Don’t be nervous,’ Sarah reassured you, ‘you look amazing!’ You give her a weak smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes.   ‘Y-you look – you guys look great!’ Pope stuttered as you reach them.   John B tipped his beer towards you all and asked if you could leave for the party now. JJ turned around in his hammock and was about to complain about how long you had all taken, and that was when he choked. The others all pealed with laughter as beer dripped down his front, and he laughed too but not before giving them a reproachful glare.   You felt a bit self-conscious.  What if he thought you looked ludicrous?  Wasn’t the dress a bit short?  You shifted a bit, trying to pull it down as much as possible.  Kie noticed and slapped your wrist sternly.   ‘Stop it, you look awesome.’ She hissed. But JJ couldn’t stop looking at you, and while he always knew you were beautiful, it stunned him to see you embrace it for yourself. ~ You didn’t see the looks you got that night. You were having far too much fun with your friends to take note of the boys who checked you out as you danced past them.  But as you twirled with Kie in the moonlight, beer in hand, JJ did notice.  And additionally, he noticed how annoyed it was making him to see Kooks and Pogues alike obviously ogling at you.  It was as if he hadn’t admired the way the light shone on your bare shoulders, or how your loose hair rippled as you moved.  He was sat on an empty keg, observing the scene before him, occasionally frowning at people who asked him for a drink from the barrel in front of him. He grew increasingly frustrated when an arrogant looking Kook walked up to you and attempted to catch your attention.   He watched, seething, while the guy with his slicked back hair tried to convince you to leave your friend and dance with him instead. You looked confused and shook your head firmly.  It pleased him to see you turn him down.  He didn’t stop watching you, as you and Kie walked over to where he sat.   ‘More beer, Y/N? Wow you really are on a roll tonight’ he flashed you a tight-lipped smile, reaching out to collect your cup.  You obliged, and hugged yourself against the slight chill of the night. ‘Did you see that guy hitting on Y/N’ Kie chirped ‘Yup.’ Said JJ curtly, feigning concentration on the keg.  He couldn’t look you in the eye for fear that he wouldn’t be able to tear his gaze away. You eyed him suspiciously but tried not to think too much of it.  He’d been looking at you strangely all night, and you wished you knew what you’d done to irk him so.

~

The night was almost over before you saw JJ again.  You were speaking to some Pogue guy you had seen around a lot before.  You were sure he had introduced himself, but his name had slipped you mind almost the moment it had left his lips.  He kept touching your arm and trying to move in closer.  He seemed sweet, but he really wasn’t your type.

Speaking of types, you were somewhat relieved to see JJ bobbing towards you through the throng of youths.  

‘Elliot!’ He cried, clapping the boy on the back, oh yeah – that was it. Elliot. ‘There’s a friend of yours looking for you down by the water.  Didn’t catch the name.  Vague looking guy.’ JJ had a huge fake smile slapped on his face as he ushered the boy away from you.  

‘But-. ‘Elliot looked at you, puzzled.

‘Bye, Elliot’ you waved.  JJ saluted at him, as Elliot threw up his arms in defeat.

‘Thank you.’ You laughed, ‘I really don’t know what that was all about.’  You gestured towards the retreating figure of the boy who had been bothering you.

‘I think I might.’ says JJ, gently moving you through the crowd of people and away from the centre of the party.  His fingers were wrapped lightly around your wrist as he guided you.  You were being bumped by elbows and sloshed with beers, and JJ tried to shield you with his arm.

‘What?’ you asked innocently, looking up at him as he finally gets you both out of the writhing mass of teenagers.

He looked down at you in disbelief.

‘You really can’t see it can you?’ he asked.

You were suddenly aware of how close he was. And unlike with the other boy, you felt at home at this proximity with JJ.  He hand was still on your wrist and you felt a strange buzzing sensation from where his fingers made contact with your skin.   He laughed incredulously at how oblivious you were to all of the attention you had been getting.

‘All the people here tonight,’ he gestured to the crowd as he spoke, ‘they’re all just realising how beautiful you are.’

You blushed fiercely, staring sceptically at the mixture of drunken souls moving with the music on the beach.

‘I mean it, Y/N.’ he said, and then he seemed to suddenly realise what he had said, and his face glowed with a rosy hue.

You smiled widely despite yourself.

‘You said I’m beautiful’ you teased, poking at his side.  He rolled his eyes and laughed,

‘Yeah don’t get too used to it.’  He winked at you, pulling you slightly closer.

‘Were you jealous of them?’ You asked suddenly.

‘Of who?’

‘All the other guys.’

He swallowed thickly.  

You looked up at him, swaying slightly from the alcohol you had been drinking like water all night.  

And maybe it was the haze from the beer, or the heated atmosphere of the kegger, but before you knew it you were closing the distance between the two of you.

You stood on your tiptoes to press you lips against his.  And at first it was soft.  His lips tasted of smoke and alcohol.  You weren’t sure if he had momentarily frozen in shock, but suddenly his hand twisted in your hair and his arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush against him. You clung onto his shirt.  The kiss was all-consuming.  You could barely hear the sound of the party anymore – it was just you and JJ, surrounded by the thrill of each other.  He tugged slightly on your hair, eliciting an involuntary moan from you.  You felt him smile against you, and you were intoxicated in the delight that was kissing JJ.

He pulled away for a moment, but only to murmur,

‘For the record, I’ve always known that you’re beautiful.’

You grinned.

‘Knew it,’ you said triumphantly, looping your arms around his neck, ‘you were jealous.’ -------------------------- Ah I’m so tired so i hope you liked it!  Please let me know ☺️

My requests are open xx

[katsukis-sad-angel]

Based on a True Story

Summary: there's this boy who makes you super uncomfy and doesnt take a hit, but you're to sweet to tell him to back off. Katsuki Bakugou, the more blunt end of the friendship, is happy to tell him off and free you from that sorry bastard.

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Warnings: possible tw, a lot of swearing and some pretty colorful insults, there are guys that are really fucking creepy, based on the actual events of February 7th, 2021 at around 10:30 pm

A/N: this was very very rushed, I just wanted to write myself some comfort real quick and go to bed last night and I didn't have time to properly edit! I'm really proud of some of the banter lmao, please enjoy and never be afraid to punt a ballsack! I'll add tags later🙄🙄🙄

A message popped up on your screen and your once neutral expression went sour. Slamming the face of your phone onto your pillow, you groaned angrily into your bedspread, catching the attention of a certain ash blonde sitting in your comfy desk chair a few feet away. Katsuki Bakugou, one of your best friends, gave a questioning glance but refused to meet his ember gaze

“What’s your deal?” He asked, not letting his genuine curiosity as to why there was such a pained look on your face, show.

You opened your mouth but paused.

Katsuki already knew about this boy and scolded you every time he saw his name pop up in your notifications, telling you to ‘fucking block him already’ for the umpteenth time. It wasn’t like you had feelings for the guy anymore, you were just too nice and polite to cut him off completely and tell him to go fuck himself.

The ash-blonde had already volunteered to do it for you, but you always said no because you knew he’d just find another way to contact you.

“It’s that piss baby again isn’t it?” 

“Yeah…”

“Wow, did you just agree with one of my insults?”

“Suki, I’m about to take you up on your offer to tell him to go fuck himself.”

He snickered, “Now you’re talking sense. What the hell is that pansy bitching about now?”

You sigh and roll over on your back and Katsuki moves to sit on the edge of your bed.

“I cut him off for a while, I really did! It felt so good to be free of him, but then he got my number again and started bothering me a few days ago. I saw him at school yesterday and told him I wasn’t interested in dating at all and he was like whatever so I honestly thought he could keep it in his pants and we could just be friends but nooo! He calls me a simp for anime guys, I tell him to stop being a hypocrite because he used to simp for me and he was like “I still do. You’re the only one” yeah like I’m stupid enough to actually believe that!”

You paused to catch your breath, but before you could start speaking again Katsuki interjected, “Well, you are stupid…”

You socked him in the bicep and he hunched over laughing. You looked so fucking adorable when you got royally pissed at him.

“Oh go to hell.” You snapped, crossing your arms and continuing, “Anyway, this guy used to simp for my goddamn sister! Not only do I reject being a replacement for her, but if she rejected his sorry ass, that means he’s a huge piece of shit because she’s super picky.”

“I might’ve mentioned that once or twice-”

You punched him again to shut him up. “Plus he’s super creepy and gross and it always feels like he’s undressing me with his eyes and whenever he’s around I want to dive into a pool full of only chlorine and drink it. I’m just trying to coexist and just be nice to him but apparently, a female looking in his general direction means that they want dicked down by his micropenis. He’s so fucking dense too. Why can’t he see that I’m not interested, especially after I EXPLICITLY told him that?!”

By that point, you were on the verge of frustrated tears, bottom lip trembling just slightly with bottled up emotion.

Katsuki could see it.

You felt trapped in something you never signed up for and you’d do anything to get out. All of this frustration had been stored inside of you for so long and it just kept mounting and multiplying until you burst into tears.

“Goddammit, come here dumbass,” He growled, gathering you into a warm embrace, “You can’t keep all this bs inside okay?”

He let you sob into his shoulder, one calloused hand supporting the base of your neck and the other crossed firmly over your back so you’d feel safe and secure; away from the world full of horrible people and into a small one of just your best friend’s warmth and the sweet sweet scent of caramel.

“Why don’t you listen to me? You’re just too fucking nice to every shitty dickhead that sees you as an easy, fuckable target. Something really fucking bad is gonna happen to you if you don’t shape up and learn how to punt a dude’s excuse for a ballsack and tell him what you really think.”

You raised your head from the solace of his shoulder to look at him with big, reproachful doe eyes and whimpered, “I tried that!”

“Have you tried punting their fucking balls first?”

“No… that would hurt.”

“That’s the point.”

“But if I did it without reason I could get suspended or charged with aggravated assault!”

It was Katsuki’s turn to sigh.

“That’s not the point dumbass, the point is that you need to tell these bastards off when they start getting creepy. You know what? Why don’t you just fucking ignore their sorry asses in the first place!”

You sniffle and drag a hand over your cheek to dry your tears, then resume your position with your face in the crook of your best friend’s neck.

“I feel bad for them.”

“Well stop. I’m gonna call him now alright? After that, we’ll block his stupid ass on every fucking app, you hear me?”

You nod and hug him tighter as he leans forward to grab your phone and opens it with your passcode, swiftly finding his name in your contact list and pressing the call icon, then he tapped the speaker button and waited.

The call was picked up almost immediately and a voice on the other line said, “Hey cutie! I was just about to call and ask to see if you wanted to come over on-”

“She’s not here.” Katsuki cut him off with a dry snarl, “And last time I checked she wasn’t interested enough in your sorry ass for you to be calling her ‘cutie.’” 

You could almost hear his lip curl in utter disgust.

“Who the fuck are you?” The voice asked, dropping its sickeningly sweet tone to something more appropriate in light of the previous insult.

“I’m her fucking boyfriend you dickwad-” You popped up from your haven in surprise, mouth open to sputter in protest but he put a finger to your lips and smirked, “who the fuck are you?”

“No fucking way that whore has a boyfriend-”

“Ex-fucking-scuse me? Shut your mouth, you mother fucking pussy, insult her one more time and I’ll fuck you up so bad you won’t be recognizable by the time you get to the hospital.” He snapped back, “She’s crying right now because you’re too dense to realize she doesn’t want any business with some horse-faced piss baby like you. Take the hint right fucking now you useless bastard so you don’t make the mistake of coming near her again because I. Will. Kill. You. Delete this number because she’s too sweet to block you herself, but I will.”

“Fuck man, I was just tryna get laid. She’s the one who started rubbing herself all over me-”

“I said delete this number. Damn, you are a dense piece of shit aren’t you?”

“Hey, I-”

Katsuki pressed ‘end call’ and blocked his contact, moving from Instagram to Snapchat, to any social app you had, and blocked him left and right until he was satisfied.

“Feel better?” He asked softly, tossing your phone aside and peeling you off.

You carded a shaky hand through your hair and wiped your eyes, giving him a watery smile and a nod.

“Why did you tell him that we were in a relationship?” You asked, voice on the edge of a taunt.

“To make him mad.”

“I mean, it worked, but is that the only reason?” You giggled.

“The hell are you insinuating?”

“Do you… possibly by chance… have feelings for me?”

You batted your eyes at him and he retched, but the smirk was still present on his handsome features.

“What’s it to you?”

You squirm a bit, but something pops into your head so you can stall a bit longer.

“I mean, you’re not THAT ugly-”

He responded with a simple, harsh flick to the forehead to make you whine and try to whack him, but he easily intercepted your fist and pushed you on your back, caging you in nothing short of a horizontal kabedon.

It was your turn to smirk, “Yenno ‘Suki, I could very easily… oh what was your phrasing? ‘Punt your fucking balls’ in this position…”

“Just shut up and tell me what the hell you want.” Katsuki snapped.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” You prod.

“You look like a pissed hamster when you’re mad.” He shot back.

“You smell like a fucking candy store after training.”

“You’re the dictionary definition of a dumbass.”

“You have a better hourglass figure than Yaomomo.”

“You're quickly becoming an extra.”

“Date me.”

“Fine.”

“Wait really?”

“It’s the only way I can kiss you, protect you, and keep you all to myself.” He shrugged, leaning in dangerously close, “You don’t fucking understand how hard it is to watch you prancing around with one failed abortion after another and watching you cry because they leave since you don’t want the one thing they’re after.”

“You’ve always been there for me ‘Suki… I guess I just took you for granted, and I’m really sorry.” You met his soft vermillion gaze with a meaningful and apologetic one and reached out to squeeze his hand.

“‘S okay. You’re mine now, right?”

You nod, smiling. 

“So it doesn’t matter how dense you are anymore.” He smirked, laying down on your bed and dragging you down with him so you were tucked comfortably under his chin.

You grabbed the remote and flicked on the tv, preparing to turn on an anime you had in mind.

“What romance garbage are you inflicting on me this time?” Your new boyfriend groaned, burying his face in your hair.

“One that’s super sappy and romantic and sad just to piss you off.” You pouted, clicking on each letter to form the desired word in the search bar.

“Have fun with that.” Katsuki snarked, beginning to move away, but you stopped him by deftly pressing your lips to his.

You slowly pulled away, blushing furiously, but happy to feel strong forearms snaking around your front and crossing over your stomach.

“I certainly will.” You respond.

[littlenekosfan]

Do ur beloved Lille for the ask 💕

LILLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<33333333

1. Favorite thing about them

okok i havent finished tybw and i remember nothing from when i read it 5yrs ago but, he's definitely one of my fav sternritters, his beauty, his character, his seriousness, his importance, he's just ahhhhhhh very very charismatic to me, i also love how he's a big icon among the ritters??? i know the manga doesnt really show it but, the fact he's the first ritter and leader of the elites makes him one of the most important ritter right after jugram

2. Least favorite thing about them

i actually dont see anything to dislike about him???? not even his transformation or bird version lol, maybe when he shot ichigo? like, rude....... (yeah, i reproach anyone who attacks my bbys, i cant help it)

3. Favorite line

"I am the final Quincy upon whom His Majesty bestowed his power. I am his ultimate creation. Closer to God than any other man. For one such as myself to be forced to open his eyes three times is tantamount to heresy." i have no idea what he's talking about but its sexy so, i just need to reread his fight okayy dfjkskhdfsd

4. brOTP

jugram!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. OTP

askin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! +gerard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. nOTP

none, but dont test me bc i dont ship him with anyone else but askin and gerard

7. Random HC

my fun part :D!!!

lille has shown to be the only one to understand pernida's language........ i wonder how long did it take him to understand them... he probably stays the most with them and have studied them since they arent really human... and he have a very trustworthy aura, pernida probably communicated only with lille...

lille is said to be the first ritter and jugram/bazz/hubert were already ritters by fair deductions, (hc time:) so lille knew them during that time but only got close to jugram since he's an important figure... both have very similar personalities, and jugram... well he does seems like a kid back then, (im assuming lille was older than him given their canon appearance having a gap where lille looks older imo) lille would be his... kind of his confidante, not as in he tells him everything, but jugram wouldnt need to wear that mask of a ruler with him... to the point of maybe becoming a father figure to him somehow.... i actually love their dynamic a lot and what it could have been pre and even post war but it should have a post alone fgjdhfgd

8. Unpopular opinion

BLEACH FANDOM IS A FUCKING PUSSY FOR NOT GIVING ATTENTION TO LILLE AT ALL, I DONT CARE IF JUAZZ ISNT POPULAR, GIVE MY BOY MORE LOVE!!!!!!!!! FUCK

9. Favorite picture of them

[thethespacecoyote]

I wasn’t going to post this but then I figured I can just post it and not put it in the tags. This is mostly just for myself and the people who send me questions about the Huxlings, otherwise just ignore it because I wasn’t really trying to make it good or character-accurate, just indulgent fun

Usually Hux is kept busy during the day, but on advice of his medics he’s decided to take more days to himself. This morning he sits out in the garden, eased into a comfortable daybed wreathed in gauzy curtains as he watches his children play out into the open. Usually he kept a close eye on them, fearful of what harm might befall his family, but today Hux feels oddly relaxed, resting back with his hands resting atop his belly, feeling the gentle movements of the pup beneath his palms.

He’s birthed twins in both previous pregnancies, so carrying a single baby is a bit of an adjustment. Kylo had fretted over his mate’s size for the first few months, used to how quickly Hux had grown beforehand. Their first ultrasound had soothed that worry, revealing one perfect, healthy pup.

Though Hux is smaller than he would be with twins at this stage, he still feels huge, belly blossoming out beneath his white robes and hiding his feet from view whenever he walks. It’s lovely to get off his feet and relax in the comfort of the daybed, feeling the light breeze and warm sun on his skin as it filters through the translucent curtains.  

Hux watches his children cavort through the myriad flowers and exotic plants filling the garden, mostly transplanted from other systems to give the plain native flora a pop of color. He smiles softly at Amelie when she lets out a war cry, long black hair flying behind her as she playfully spars with Sylmar, the twins clacking their wooden practice swords together as they prance through the garden. Leander sits cross-legged in the grass nearby, eyes scanning over the book in his lap and occasionally whining as his older siblings get too close with their play fighting. Aeon is a little harder to spot but eventually Hux finds her curly red hair peeking out from behind a large bush of everlilies, hands cupped around an elongated blue insect with scintillating wings.  

They enjoy the outdoors, glad to venture beyond the walls of the imperial palace. Hux thinks he’s maybe been overprotective, keeping them mostly hidden from the public, but it’s difficult to completely shed his old instincts, even as emperor. He can’t imagine what he might do if any harm ever came to his children.

He rubs his hand over his stomach, feeling the pup stretch softly before settling, joining its mother in his leisure. Hux wonders what they’ll be like once they’ve grown older. Headstrong and confident like Amelie? Precocious and intelligent like Sylmar? Perhaps studious like Leander, or curious like Aeon?

There’s little way of knowing, but Hux entertains his imagination anyway as he gradually relaxes into the daybed, eyelids fluttering in the late afternoon light before slowly falling closed.  

When he opens his eyes again he’s greeted with a similar sight. Hux still relaxes out in the gardens, though the petals on the flowers have started to wilt with the passing of spring.  He pushes himself up from the daybed, letting the light blanket fall off his shoulders as he looks through the thin curtains.

Hux can hear the sounds of his children, sense their presence, but there’s something more coming to him through the dream. A soft pulse reaching out to him, little feet pattering against the grass.

Before Hux’s eyes a small child he appears toddling up the little step separating the garden from the stone porch. He feels he shouldn’t recognize her but something familiar tugs in his chest as she nudges through the gauzy curtains to approach his bed. She’s clad in the same little white capelets as the rest of Hux’s children, and he knows instantly that she’s his.

Curly black hair frames her face, shorter than Amelie’s but more wild. She almost looks like Kylo used to, back when they’d first met and his locks had flared about like an unruly nebula. She keeps her chin tucked into the high collar of her capelet, shyly peering up at Hux over its brim once she gets close to him.

He reaches out to her, only realizing his belly is flat when she crawls up into his lap. Her wide, green eyes, deeper and more vibrant than his own, come to rest on his face as she raises one of her hands and holds it out to him. Part of Hux is confused even as he lifts up his own hand and rests her tiny palm against his far larger one. He holds it there as she traces his skin with purpose, little fingers trailing and circling in patterns that might seem random to an outsider, but Hux understands she’s trying to speak with him.

His hand moves in response, fingers shifting in signs he doesn’t fully grasp the meaning of but he must do something correctly because her face lights up at them, happy expression bringing Hux calm as a smile touches his lips.

She butts her head softly against his chest, curling against him and stars Hux is in love, he wraps his arms about her and holds her close as she rests against him, little even breaths puffing against his chest.

Hux wakes as a shadow passing over him, blocking out the fading light of the afternoon. He squints for a moment before making out his mate’s amused expression.

“Ah,” Hux mumbles, pushing himself up a little against the pillows, “you’ve returned.”

Kylo lacks his finesse and delicacy when it comes to court matters, but he manages well enough with proper instructions in the emperor’s absence. However, for once Hux is less interested in what’s happened during the day’s proceedings than he is with pulling his mate in for a kiss.

“You’ve been lounging around all day, haven’t you?” Kylo chuckles as their lips part, letting Hux reach up to twine his fingers in his hair, giving it a light, reproachful tug.

“Quiet. It’s plenty of work carrying your child.” He presses another kiss to his mate’s nose, resting their foreheads together as Kylo sits on the bed beside him.

“How is the little one? They doing well?” The alpha slides his hand over Hux’s stomach, earning a soft chuckle. His hand joins Kylo’s over his belly, knowing smile drifting over his lips.

“She is doing quite fine, actually.”

Kylo’s eyes widen, but before he can question it a loud cry of papa! cuts through their quiet moment, and both men turn to look as Amelie rushing towards them, the rest of her siblings trailing behind. Hux shifts slightly aside to make room on the daybed as his children clamber up, crowding both him and Kylo as they begin to excitedly relate to their father their adventures in the garden.

The look Kylo sends him before he’s mobbed by their children tells Hux he’ll have to speak on his vision before long, but for now he lies back and relaxes, enjoying the company of his mate and children in the mellowing light of the day.

[gold-from-straw]

Enough - ch 9/9

Aaaah! It’s finished!! Thank you SO MUCH for all your lovely lovely messages, this fandom is GORGEOUS and so kind <3 <3 <3 This final chapter is almost an epilogue, written from Erik’s POV, and almost entirely fluffy ^_^ or as close as I get to fluff lol! I hope you like it!

Read from the beginning on AO3 if you like!

Erik felt Charles’s mind whirling with anxiety even as he stood perfectly still with a polite smile on his face. He sighed, and imagined a twisting band of iron tangling itself in the maelstrom of Charles’ thoughts, capturing him, holding him still.

Beside him, Charles jumped, his eyes going wide. He turned and smiled sheepishly at Erik. “How do you do that? It’s like… being hugged inside my own head.”

“I have a very visual imagination,” he said with a smirk. Charles blushed, and tried to look reproachful, but really, with the filthy thoughts flooding his own mind he had no room for such hypocrisy. Erik reached out an arm and tugged him close by the scruff of his neck. “Calm down, Liebchen. My mother is going to adore you.”

“Just because you adore me, doesn’t mean everyone else is so misguided,” Charles teased. Erik heard the thread of pleading beneath his words, in the place where his thoughts still tangled with Erik’s.

The past months had been a relationship like nothing Erik had ever imagined, let alone experienced. It had taken weeks of careful reassurance to convince Charles that Erik really did want him around - in every way. Charles was so painfully desperate to please, and yet his self-esteem was so completely shrivelled, that Erik found himself constructing elaborate revenge fantasies while he worked, scenes where he punched Kurt Marko in the face until his own knuckles bled. Or where he kicked Charles’ Oxford roommate down the stairs for trying to manipulate him into cheating. When Charles came across those thoughts one unguarded moment, he blinked up at him, shocked.

“You know very well I’m not a very nice person, Charles,” he said with a shrug.

Charles thought for a moment, then straddled his knees and pressed close for a hug. “That’s not true, Erik. Your thoughts are not your actions, and nobody’s hurt when you think such things.”

Erik pulled him back to look at him seriously. “You should know that I would do those things if I ever saw you in such situations, though. I wouldn’t hesitate.”

“I know,” he said, blue eyes gazing at him in wonder.

Now waiting in the airport for his mother to arrive, Erik tugged him close and embraced him, resting his chin on his head. Charles retreated from his mind a little, the edge of his telepathy just skating noticeably on the surface. It felt to Erik a bit like holding hands. He knew Charles was there, Charles knew he could dive into the sanctuary of Erik’s mind at any moment, but they were separate most of the time. It was very similar to the way Erik sometimes played with Charles’ watch strap, tightening and loosening it with his power absent-mindedly.

Charles shifted in his hold and sent him a thought he’d picked up off the surface of one of the airport employees. Erik jumped a little to hear a woman’s voice speak straight into his own mind, but squeezed Charles’ waist. “Sounds like Mutti will be here soon, then.”

Charles took a deep breath and straightened out, brushing his blazer down and looking for stray crumbs or creases. He even glanced through Erik’s eyes at himself, and Erik made a point of lingering his gaze on Charles’ arse. “Very funny,” Charles said, trying to conceal a smile, and failing. “I want to look smart, I don’t care what my backside looks like.”

“You look perfect,” he laughed, then looked up, his attention homing in on the feel of a set of slim golden bands he knew so well. “Ah, there she is! Mutti!”

He waved at his mother, and she did a little skip when she saw him across the arrivals lounge, waving back wildly and hurrying towards them. Erik met her in the middle and scooped her up into a spin. “Erik! Oh, my darling, it’s so good to see you! Put me down, you silly boy! What will all these people think if I kick one of them in the knees because my son is spinning me around like this?” She laughed and leaned back as he dropped her back to her feet. “Look at you! So handsome, so tall, where’s my little baby?”

“You know I haven’t grown an inch since I was twenty-three,” he snorted.

“But you will always be my baby, won’t you,” she grinned, pinching his cheeks.

He slapped her away playfully. “Stop, you fool. Come and meet Charles.”

“Ah! Your sweetheart!” She turned to Charles, who was still hovering slightly behind Erik, and switched to English. “You must be the man who has captured my Erik’s heart,” she said, holding out her hand.

Charles gave his best dazzling, harmless-professor smile. He looked perfectly poised, but he’d pulled back just slightly from Erik’s mind, closing himself off and holding himself perfectly rigid. He took Mutti’s hand and to both their surprise, bent over it and kissed her knuckles like some kind of Regency lord. “Mrs Lehnsherr. It’s such a pleasure! And thank you so much for your son.” What the fuck did I just say thank you FOR YOUR SON like he’s a present she gave me what the fuck is wrong with me oh my God she’s going to hate me and we haven’t even got out of the airport and--

The panicked mental stream cut off. Charles straightened up and blinked rapidly. Erik’s jaw dropped, and he quickly snapped his mouth shut and tried desperately to bite his lips to keep the laughter at bay. Mutti looked uncertainly at Erik.

“Well,” said Erik. “You did raise me very well, Mutti.”

Charles’ shoulder slumped and he covered his face with his hands, his ears turning bright red. Erik covered his mouth and shook with giggles.

“Did I misunderstand?” Mutti asked, in German. “Did he say thank you… for you?”

Erik laughed and hugged Charles, kissing him on the head over and over. “Oh, Schatz, you are the best thing in my life.”

Mutti slapped him on the arm. “Well, don’t laugh at the poor boy! See how embarrassed he is! Don’t listen to him, Charles, dear.” She took Charles’ hands gently away from his face, and Erik moved back, still chuckling, to let her closer.

Charles looked utterly miserable, and now Erik had stopped teasing him, he could hear Charles’ mental whispering, almost panicking about how he’d ruined everything and now Edie was going to hate him and think he was an idiot and Erik was going to realise how true that was… Erik’s amusement disappeared and he immediately sent mental waves of apology towards him, trying to cover him in peace and safety.

“Do you know,” said Mutti, holding both Charles’ hands between her own. “When I met my Jakob’s mother, I made the mistake of discussing politics? I didn’t realise she was a staunch conservative, and my liberal views didn’t go down very well.” She dipped her head slightly to meet Charles’ gaze. “Now, you said thank you to me for Erik? Well, of course, he is his own person, and has made himself into the wonderful man you know today, but I am honoured that you give me any credit at all for it.”

Charles swallowed hard and smiled up at her. Erik felt a glow of pride in his mother’s kindness. He used his power to buzz both Charles’ watch and Mutti’s rings affectionately, and pulled them into a hug, one loved person in each arm. “Come on, let’s get you home,” he said. He took Mutti’s suitcase handle in one hand, and tucked Charles under the other arm, and walked them back to the car.

***

She loves you already

, he said into Charles’ mind as they sat in the living room that evening after dinner.

Charles looked up, his eyes wide with hope. How can you know? I don’t want to…

I don’t have to read her mind to know what she thinks of you, he said, smiling over at his mother, who was looking out at the New York skyline outside Erik’s apartment, her hand elegantly folded under her chin, her elbow resting on the sofa. She’s going to love you as much as I do.

He felt Charles’ heart softening at his words, the swell of joy rising up under those negative thoughts that Erik hated so much, the thoughts Charles had been fed throughout his life and that convinced him he was so much less than he truly was.

But now, Charles sent tendrils of thought through Erik’s mind, down his muscles, giving a little tug that showed as a twitch of Erik’s arm, a little pull for permission. Erik grinned. Go ahead, he said, and gave up the control of his limbs. Charles lifted Erik’s arm, making space to press close against his side, draping Erik’s arm around his shoulder before releasing him with a content little sigh.

Mutti cast a look at the two of them on the sofa, a fond smile curling at her lip. Erik smiled back, and pulled Charles closer, breathing a kiss into his hair.

And in his mind, behind a door labelled ‘Surprise, keep out!’, he thought of the ring he had pushed into the very back of his sock drawer. Thought of Mutti’s delighted exclamations when he’d shown her earlier.

“That’s wonderful, Erik!” She grinned the wide, toothy smile he’d inherited. “But why are you showing me?”

Erik looked at her seriously. “Charles doesn’t have a family,” he said. “Or not one worth mentioning. To ask him to marry me would be to ask you to accept another son, and I want to know if you would be willing to love him and support him the way you do me.”

Edie’s green eyes softened with sadness and she put her hand on his elbow. “Oh, Liebling. I’d be honoured. Any person who can command your love and trust like this must be someone truly special. I can’t wait to get to know him.” She stretched up and kissed him on the cheek, and he hugged her tight.

This coming month was going to be the perfect opportunity for Mutti to get to know Charles. Erik already know she was going to adore him. Edie Lehnsherr liked everyone, and everyone liked Charles Xavier. And then, he thought, closing the door to his secret gleefully, he was going to make sure Charles knew that Erik loved him, and his family, small as it was, was all for Charles as well.

[the-house-of-the-nine]

Lazarius Kash’ebahl: Flaws

Bold what applies to your character.  Italics for somewhat  / sometimes.

Lemme just go ahead and set these all back to normal, DONE!  Lazarius doesnt have flaws HAHAHA are you insane?

Absent-minded - Preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one’s immediate surroundings. Abstracted, daydreaming, inattentive, oblivious, forgetful.

Abusive - Characterized by improper infliction of physical or psychological maltreatment towards another.  

Addict - One who is addicted to a compulsive activity. Examples: gambling, drugs, sex.  (POWER!!!!!)

Aimless - Devoid of direction or purpose.

Alcoholic - A person who drinks alcoholic substances habitually and to excess.

Anxious - Full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous.

Arrogant - Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. Inclined to social exclusiveness and who rebuff the advances of people considered inferior. Snobbish.

Audacious - Recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; braze, disobedient.

Bad Habit - A revolting personal habit. Examples: picks nose, spits tobacco, drools, bad body odour.

Bigmouth - A loud-mouthed or gossipy person.

Bigot - One who is strongly partial to one’s own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.

Blunt - Characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion. Frank, callous, insensitive, brusque.

Bold - In a bad sense, too forward; taking undue liberties; over assuming or confident; lacking proper modesty or restraint; rude; impudent. Abrupt, brazen, cheeky, brassy, audacious.

Callous - They are hardened to emotions, rarely showing any form of it in expression. Unfeeling. Cold.

Childish - Marked by or indicating a lack of maturity; puerile.

Complex - An exaggerated or obsessive concern or fear.

Cruel - Mean to anyone or anything, without care or regard to consequences and feelings.

Cursed - A person who has befallen a prayer for evil or misfortune, placed under a spell, or borne into an evil circumstance, and suffers for it. Damned.

Dependent - Unable to exist, sustain oneself, or act appropriately or normally without the assistance or direction of another.

Deranged - Mentally decayed. Insane. Crazy. Mad. Psychotic.(Maybe? Who knows really?)

Dishonest – Given to or using fraud, cheating; deceitful, deceptive, crooked, underhanded.

Disloyal - Lacking loyalty. Unfaithful, perfidious, traitorous, treasonable.

Disorder - An ailment that affects the function of mind or body. See the Mental Disorder List.

Disturbed - Showing some or a few signs or symptoms of mental or emotional illness. Confused, disordered, neurotic, troubled.

Dubious - Fraught with uncertainty or doubt. Undecided, doubtful, unsure.

Dyslexic - Affected by dyslexia, a learning disorder marked by impairment of the ability to recognize and comprehend written words.

Egotistical - Characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance. Boastful, pompous.

Envious - Showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another’s advantages; covetous, jealous.

Erratic - Deviating from the customary course in conduct or opinion; eccentric: erratic behaviour. Eccentric, bizarre, outlandish, strange.

Fanatical - Fanatic outlook or behaviour especially as exhibited by excessive enthusiasm, unreasoning zeal, or wild and extravagant notions on some subject.

Fickle – Erratic, changeable, unstable - especially with regard to affections or attachments; capricious.

Fierce - Marked by extreme intensity of emotions or convictions; inclined to react violently; fervid.

Finicky - Excessively particular or fastidious; difficult to please; fussy. Too much concerned with detail. Meticulous, fastidious, choosy, critical, picky, prissy, persnickety.

Fixated - In psychoanalytic theory, a strong attachment to a person or thing, especially such an attachment formed in childhood or infancy and manifested in immature or neurotic behaviour that persists throughout life. Fetish, quirk, obsession, infatuation.

Flirt -To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures; behaviour intended to arouse sexual interest. Minx. Tease.

Gluttonous - Given to excess in consumption of especially food or drink. Voracious, ravenous, wolfish, piggish, insatiable.

Gruff - Brusque or stern in manner or appearance. Crusty, rough, surly.

Gullible - Will believe any information given, regardless of how valid or truthful it is, easily deceived or duped.

Hard - A person who is difficult to deal with, manage, control, overcome, or understand. Hard emotions, hard hearted.

Hedonistic - Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.

Hoity-toity - Given to flights of fancy; capricious; frivolous. Prone to giddy behaviour, flighty.

Humourless - The inability to find humour in things, and most certainly in themselves.

Hypocritical - One who is always contradicting their own beliefs, actions or sayings. A person who professes beliefs and opinions for others that he does not hold. Being a hypocrite.

Idealist - One whose conduct is influenced by ideals that often conflict with practical considerations. One who is unrealistic and impractical, guided more by ideals than by practical considerations.

Idiotic - Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless.

Ignorant - Lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge.

Illiterate - Unable to read and write.

Immature - Emotionally undeveloped; juvenile; childish.

Impatient - Unable to wait patiently or tolerate delay; restless. Unable to endure irritation or opposition; intolerant.

Impious - Lacking piety and reverence for a god/gods and their followers.

Impish - Naughtily or annoyingly playful.

Incompetent - Unable to execute tasks, no matter how the size or difficulty.

Indecisive - Characterized by lack of decision and firmness, especially under pressure.

Indifferent - The trait of lacking enthusiasm for or interest in things generally, remaining calm and seeming not to care; a casual lack of concern. Having or showing little or no interest in anything; languid; spiritless.

Infamy - Having an extremely bad reputation, public reproach, or strong condemnation as the result of a shameful, criminal, or outrageous act that affects how others view them.

Intolerant - Unwilling to tolerate difference of opinion and narrow-minded about cherished opinions.

Judgmental - Inclined to make and form judgments, especially moral or personal ones, based on one’s own opinions or impressions towards others/practices/groups/religions based on appearance, reputation, occupation, etc.

Klutz - Clumsy. Blunderer.

Lazy - Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness.

Lewd - Inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or lechery; lascivious. Obscene or indecent, as language or songs; salacious.

Liar - Compulsively and purposefully tells false truths more often than not. A person who has lied or who lies repeatedly.

Lustful - Driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desires.

Masochist - The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.

Meddlesome - Intrusive in a meddling or offensive manner, given to meddling; interfering.

Meek - Evidencing little spirit or courage; overly submissive or compliant; humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness or even cowed submissiveness.

Megalomaniac - A psycho pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.

Naïve - Lacking worldly experience and understanding, simple and guileless; showing or characterized by a lack of sophistication and critical judgement.

Nervous - Easily agitated or distressed; high-strung or jumpy.

Non-violent - Abstaining from the use of violence.

Nosey - Given to prying into the affairs of others; snoopy. Offensively curious or inquisitive.

Obsessive - An unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone.

Oppressor - A person of authority who subjects others to undue pressures, to keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority.

Overambitious - Having a strong excessive desire for success or achievement.

Overconfident - Excessively confident; presumptuous.

Overemotional - Excessively or abnormally emotional. Sensitive about themselves and others, more so than the average person.

Overprotective - To protect too much; coddle.

Overzealous - Marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea.

Pacifist - Opposition to war or violence as a means of resolving disputes. (Can double as a merit in certain cases)

Paranoid - Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others.

Peevish - Expressing fretfulness and discontent, or unjustifiable dissatisfaction. Cantankerous, cross, ill-tempered, testy, captious, discontented, crotchety, cranky, ornery.

Perfectionist - A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.

Pessimist - A tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible view.

Pest - One that pesters or annoys, with or without realizing it. Nuisance. Annoying. Nag.

Phobic – They have a severe form of fear when it comes to this one thing. Examples: Dark, Spiders, Cats

Practical - Level-headed, efficient, and non speculative. No-nonsense.

Predictable - Easily seen through and assessable, where almost anyone can predict reactions and actions of said person by having met or known them even for a short time.

Proud - Filled with or showing excessive self-esteem and will often shirk help from others for the sake of pride.

Rebellious - Defying or resisting some established authority, government, or tradition; insubordinate; inclined to rebel.

Reckless - Heedless. Headstrong. Foolhardy. Unthinking boldness, wild carelessness and disregard for consequences.

Remorseless - Without remorse; merciless; pitiless; relentless.

Rigorous - Rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard; demanding strict attention to rules and procedures.

Sadist - The deriving of gratification or the tendency to derive gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. Deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.

Sadomasochist - Both sadist and masochist combined.

Sarcastic - A subtle form of mockery in which an intended meaning is conveyed obliquely.

Skeptic - One who instinctively or habitually doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions or generally accepted conclusions.

Seducer - To lead others astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt. To attempt to lead or draw someone away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance.

Selfish - Concerned chiefly or only with oneself.

Self-Martyr - One who purposely makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy from others, as a form of manipulation, and always for a selfish cause or reason.

Self-righteous - Piously sure of one’s own righteousness; moralistic. Exhibiting pious self-assurance. Holier-than-thou, sanctimonious.

Senile - Showing a decline or deterioration of physical strength or mental functioning, esp. short-term memory and alertness, as a result of old age or disease.

Shallow - Lacking depth of intellect or knowledge; concerned only with what is obvious.

Smart Ass - Thinks they know it all, and in some ways they may, but they can be greatly annoying and difficult to deal with at times, especially in arguments.

Soft-hearted - Having softness or tenderness of heart that can lead them into trouble; susceptible of pity or other kindly affection. They cannot resist helping someone they see in trouble, suffering or in need, and often don’t think of the repercussions or situation before doing so.

Solemn - Deeply earnest, serious, and sober. (not sure why this is a flaw)

Spineless - Lacking courage. Cowardly, wimp, lily-livered, gutless.

Spiteful - Showing malicious ill will and a desire to hurt; motivated by spite; vindictive person who will look for occasions for resentment. Vengeful.

Spoiled - Treated with excessive indulgence and pampering from earliest childhood, and has no notion of hard work, self-care or money management; coddled, pampered. Having the character or disposition harmed by pampering or over-solicitous attention.

Squeamish - Excessively fastidious and easily disgusted.

Stubborn - Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bull-headed. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute.

Superstitious - An irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear from an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome.

Tactless - Lacking or showing a lack of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others.

Temperamental - Moody, irritable, or sensitive. Excitable, volatile, emotional.

Theatrical - Having a flair for over dramatizing situations, doing things in a ‘big way’ and love to be ‘centre stage’.

Timid -Tends to be shy and/or quiet, shrinking away from offering opinions or from strangers and newcomers, fearing confrontations and violence.

Tongue-tied - Speechless or confused in expression, as from shyness, embarrassment, or astonishment.

Troublemaker - Someone who deliberately stirs up trouble, intentionally or unintentionally. (Rarely)

Unlucky - Marked by or causing misfortune; ill-fated. Destined for misfortune; doomed.

Unpredictable - Difficult to foretell or foresee, their actions are so chaotic it’s impossible to know what they are going to do next.

Untrustworthy - Not worthy of trust or belief. Backstabber.

Vain - Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of their physical appearance. Lovers of themselves. Conceited, egotistic, narcissistic.

Weak-willed - Lacking willpower, strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans. Easily swayed.

Withdrawn - Not friendly or Sociable.

Zealous - A fanatic.

Tagged By: @ask-iraiel  (Thank you very much for this!!!)

Tagging: @caideyn @syristakayjared @whatadarkbitch @blessed-by-avarice

@ms-winford @suncrest-legacy @siidaraykashebahl @daphne-pink &

Anyone else!!