#he doesn't like to accept help from other's so it's like GAHHH just stop doing this to yourself man and let other people care about you

[mad-hunts]

which subtle way of saying 'i love you' are you?

doing things for them without being asked to.

you're observant and you know your loved ones so well, you know when to do things for them without having to ask (or be asked) what they need. they don't always know how much you do for them; there's no need pointing it out, you're just happy to help.

you do things simply to make others feel better and lighten their burdens, and expect nothing in return: their happiness is enough for you, even if they don't always know you're the one who caused it. still, as good as it might feel to give and give and keep on giving, please allow them to do things for you in return.

people feel better when they're being helpful (you should know this, more than anyone) and no matter how hard it might feel for you to accept help from someone, you should take it when they readily give it to you. you deserve to be loved in the way you love them, too. you won't be a burden -- and remember: a real friend will love you even when you're not constantly being useful, because your company is more than enough.

stolen from: @raisedcold (thank you for introducing me to this <33)

tagging: @question-marked, @twcfaces, @adamanteine, @markhit, and anyone else who might like to complete this quiz!

[dxnahdsg]

A/n: Another Akaashi one shot because I am a simp😃

Hold On || k.akaashi ||

One shot - Angst

Warnings - Mention of blood, death, heartbreak

Includes - Song from Hold On by Chord Overstreet, Hanahaki AU

Masterlist

Loving and fighting, accusing, denying

I can't imagine a world with you gone

What did you expect? No one could ever love you. Not even your parents. Not even your best friend.

You laid on your bed, your pillow soaked wet from crying. The words he said replayed from your head, making you break down even more.

"I'm sorry [Y/n] but...I need to break up with you..."

"Why?!"

"I'm sorry...but I lied. I don't really love you as a girlfriend...I lied because I knew you were going to be heartbroken if I said I didn't so I decided to accept your feelings. But now here we are..."

"..."

"It's okay if we stay as friends right?"

"Y-Yeah...sure...I understand...don't worry..."

How dare he lie? He could've just told you in the first place right? Akaashi you idiot...if only you told me. Then I wouldn't be in this painful situation...

The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of

I'd be so lost if you left me alone

You gagged, feeling a thorn on your throat. You quickly got off of bed and ran towards the bathroom. Readying your face by the toilet, you started puking out petals and blood.

Tears pricked in your eyes as you kept puking. It hurts how it doesn't stop. It hurts how the thorns keep poking your throat. It hurts how there's a flower growing inside of you. It hurts how your heart was broken. It just fucking hurts.

About 15 minutes later, you flush the toilet with the bloodied petals going down. You sigh tiredly as you rest against the wall. You were in pain. And no one even knows it. Even Akaashi nor your brother, Bokuto. Though sometimes your brother comes to check up on you from time to time since he knew your relationship with Akaashi.

When you go to school, you always try to put on a big smile to not show any suspicions. But your pale skin was enough to show that something's wrong.

Akaashi noticed this and started worrying about you. But knowing after the heartbreak, you started ignoring him so he decided not to talk to you yet until you're ready.

Now in your perspective, you really needed Akaashi's help. All you need is for him to comfort you. Tell you that he loves you for real. But you know that none of that will become true. Especially since you thought Akaashi was ignoring you as well and that he didn't care about your sick, painful state.

You locked yourself in the bathroom

2 weeks passed. You barely even go to school anymore. Everyone was worried for you, even your parents since they never seen you this down. They try to check up on you but you locked your door, keeping them from coming.

Knowing that wasn't enough, you locked yourself in the bathroom instead. You really didn't want to see anyone anymore. You just wanted to be alone. Just leave me alone.

Akaashi's worries grew big. He noticed how you weren't going to school anymore. He noticed how your brother was tense. He noticed how you acted throughout the days. Was there something you're hiding from him?

He knew he broke your heart, but you were his best friend ever since you two were little kids. So he decided, he's going to check on you after school.

Lying on the floor when I break through

Bokuto let Akaashi in his house, knowing why he was here. He knew he wants to talk privately to you so he showed him where your room is.

As Akaashi walked towards your room, he felt an eerie feeling in his stomach. Like something wasn't right. Something bad had happened.

Shaking off the feeling, he knocked lightly on your door. "[Y/n]? It's me, Akaashi. Can I please talk to you?" He waited for a response but all he got was silence. The feeling on his stomach was back.

"[Y/n] please. Everyone's worried about you." Still no response. "Look, I'm sorry. I just thought that we'd be better as friends instead of lovers. I'm sorry if I broke your heart, it was never my intend to do so. But please, I'm still your best friend and I'm worries for you. Can you at least tell me you're alright?" Still nothing.

Not only did the feeling grew bigger, but it was also telling him break down the door. He didn't know why, but his gut was telling him there was definitely something wrong.

Taking a deep breath, Akaashi kicked your door down, surprised at his own strength. He stepped inside your room slowly, looking around only to see you were nowhere to be found.

He then noticed the light coming from the bathroom. He thought you were taking a shower but seeing the door slightly open made him know that you definitely weren't.

"[Y/n]?" Akaashi slowly opened the door and stepped in, gaze on the floor just in case you were actually doing something privately. But his blood ran cold when he saw blood splatter on the floor.

Gulping, he hesitated to look up. But once his eyes landed your bloodied hand, it was enough for him to immediately go to your side and cradled your cold body.

I pull you in to feel your heartbeat

Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me

"No no no..." He rambled, nearing your chest to his ear to hear your heartbeat. It was weak, the beating barely even audible. Tears formed in his eyes when his looked at you, there was a petal hanging from your mouth and there was still more inside.

"No way..." He whispered, knowing what the petals meant. He didn't think it was actually real. He thought it was just an urban legend. It wasn't real. This is just a dream.

As he keeps thinking that, the more he looked at you, he knew that this was reality. Akaashi let out a loud sob and hugged your body tightly.

"[Y/n]! Wake up! Please! Don't leave me! I'm sorry!"

Bokuto and his parents heard his sobs and immediately went inside your bathroom to see what was happening.

Bokuto's eyes widened, seeing your pale, bloodied body in Akaashi's arms. Without wasting time, he immediately called an ambulance, his voice cracking and shaking everytime he spoke.

Your parents were just staring at you in horror. Their own daughter dying in front of them. And they didn't even know what was the cause.

"Don't leave me, [Y/n]!" Akaashi kept sobbing out the same phrase, shaking your body, hoping you'd wake up.

But you were slowly fading away.

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you

Akaashi, your family and your friends, which was the whole volleyball team, waited anxiously at the waiting room. The air was tense and no one dared to talk to each other.

Akaashi gripped his hair tightly, praying so many times that you'd wake up and be beside him again. How come he was so stupid to let this happen to you? He was the one who caused this. This was his fault. All of it.

If only he could've shut his damn mouth. If only he tried harder to love you. If only he had been by your side. If only he said "I love you" for real. This wouldn't have happened.

Everyone got snapped out of their thoughts when the doctor came out of the room you were in. The doctor gave them a sympathetic look, it was enough to tell them that you weren't going to make it.

"You may visit her if you want." The doctor says. Everyone looked at each other and nodded, before moving their gaze to Akaashi, saying he should go first. But he insisted going in last.

Let me take your hand, I'll make it right

I swear to love you all my life

Akaashi entered your room, his breath hitching when he saw your unconscious body. It was time for him to say goodbye. But he didn't want to. He wants you to wake up and tell him that you were fine. But you weren't. Not after what had happened.

Akaashi sat on the chair beside you, hesitantly holding your hand. He pretends he doesn't feel how cold it was and just stared at your hand.

He let out a shaky exhale and looked at you. Biting the inside of his cheek to stop him from breaking down. "I swear I'll make this right..." He whispers. "[Y/n], I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to break your heart. I didn't mean to do this to you. I-I didn't mean to make you suffer from this pain." His voice cracked and his tears failed to be held back.

"I promise... I'll love you truly when I see you again. I will never let you experience this heartbreak again." He croaks. He gently lifted your hand and placed a soft peck on your knuckles.

Slowly pulling away, he stared at you one last time before the heartbeat monitor started beeping. Hanging his head low, he walked outside the room as the doctors and nurses went to you.

Akaashi ignored the calling he got from his friends and just went towards the restroom. He stared at his reflection, looking at himself in disgust. He swore he will never forgive himself from what had happened and would beat himself up.

Hold on, I still need you

A/n: WHY. DO. I. KEEP. MAKING. ANGST. WITH. THE. CHARACTERS. I. LOVE?!?! GAHHH😭😭😭😭

[icharchivist]

I have finished winter troupe debut episode! It was very dramatic lmao. Was enjoyable though. Winter troupe all had very interesting characters and It's nice to see a troupe that is all adults.

Since I complained about spring troupe issues being solved by not talking about it. I have to talk about how winter troupes issues were solved by literal outside forces trapping them or letting them read peoples minds.

I'm guessing they did this because unlike the teens who are more willing to be open about themselves and pester others,,,, adults are a lot less likely. (Before winter the adults were, sakyo, and itaru? cause the uni students aren't really adults yet. sakyo opens up to Izumi because he knows and trusts her. Itaru. Hasn't really opened up yet but he's getting there.) Whereas winter troupe is a group of strangers and the two who know each other literally are in the middle of massive misunderstanding/fight?/idk mutual disappointment.

(Also misumi just getting trapped in random time loops???? Holy shit is he ok???? Like he was able to figure it was tsumugi and tasuku this time but what if he doesn't know the people? I have so many questions)

Ok rant over. I have accepted that magic exists in a3 and all it wants is for people to get along and understand each other. But yeah once I crawl through the events and next act I have to rewatch spring hahaha. I definitely wasn't fair to them.

Homare oh my god. Just. Holds gently. I want to protect him. No one deserves to be called a broken cyborg :(

Gahhh all of winter troupe I just want to protect.

Also I saw fuyupoly is a thing? Because I'm excited to see the troupe develop more.

(you said you had a Google drive of the inbetween acts events :eyes: should I message you or something?)

tHEY’RE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.....

And yeah tbh when you talked about Spring having communication problems my first thought was “oh BOY you haven’t seen Winter yet” DLKFJDLFKJDFLKJDFLK

I. think about Winter much more than i should but yeah, pretty much it’s the fact they’re adults and strangers and just. are extremely conflict avoidant, all of them, for various reasons. Tsumugi because of his crushed confidence, Tasuku because he struggles to convey his feelings and he lost Tsumugi in the past, Hisoka because he litterally has no past and it freaks him out (Homare was spot on when he said Hisoka knew he couldn’t defend himself), Homare because he’s scared he’ll mess up again, and Azuma because he spent his life keeping people at armlength.  They’re all adult and agreeable people, and they are also all pretty understanding in some way, so they let some conflict pass by hoping it will be over soon. Some of them like Tsumugi, Azuma and Homare are also pretty analytic of people on a psychological way so they can try to navigate with what they know. 

But in the end without communication it���s not going very far, but they don’t really know how to do it when all of them are adults who have got used to it. 

so yeah, like you said it’s really that they’re adults and that unlike the youngest ones i think it’s just. they’re all used to compromise and compromise a part of themselves as well. 

but yeah the magic being the thing solving it cracks me up all the time i’m just. Like. okay. Okay cool okay. Normal. Like. Thematically wise i think it’s because Winter is a season that’s so cold and sad but there’s a bit of magic in it (like the magic of christmas) and i think that’s what it is meant to echo but that’s. so out of the blue DLKFJDKLFJDLKFJLDF that said once that just accepted i really love the way the three magical events reflects the characters (Tasuku and Tsumugi needed to reconnect and find back the comfort they had with one another and plushies are considered comfort items that helps transition into a safer place, it’s also linked to childhood and those two are childhood friends. Homare and the loupe are pretty straight forward, he needed to see closer, deeper. Azuma and Hisoka both were locked into a room, isolated, just like their past (or in Hisoka’s case what his flashbacks implies) make them feel isolated, having experienced loss).). I am FASCINATED with Winter. i just. akjhfkdhfkdjfmldjfmd?? sljhfjldk.

but aah i’m glad you enjoyed the ride so much i’m so happy!!

and god yeah please someone check on Misumi i worry for him wtf

and Homare’s arc yeah!! yeah!!! his arc is one of my fav arc i just. really love how it all plays out. It’s really rare to see a story goes “here’s a character with low empathy: and he’s the most loving and kind character you can imagine”. The way he struggles from it, how sad it makes him, this way to see himself, everything makes me want to cry for hours. I want to hold him so bad.

Fuyupoly is definitly a thing yeah. Fuyupoly my beloved. I adore Fuyupoly so much 😭 but Winter is honestly a slow burn, especially in comparaison to the rest of the teams. 

I actually didn’t think much of them at first read (Azuma and Hisoka were already my favs though, i’m so soft for them)(also i say that but i know i found back screenshot of me crying about fuyu on first read so i did feel a lot but it didn’t hit me until late, how much i actually cared), and now i legit can’t stop thinking about all of them. I don’t know how much it says about their slowburn or what it says about me but; Winter.

ANYWAY congratz on finishing the main story of act 1 :3c and yeah, i’d prefer if i could share it in private (bc it’s, a lot of content and if i provide it in public this is clearly piracy and DLKFJDF i know a3 tends to take down some of this content and i’m trying to be stealthy).

Though if you don’t want to come off anon, you can tell me in another anon’s ask, i’ll link you my drive, then you’ll need to send me an ask to tell me you got it so i can delete the post, if you prefer?

anyway the drive is up and ready anytime. i just didn’t update some of the latest act 2′s events but act 1 is filled and that’s the priority. so you know also this drive includes 1) Story events, 2) the songs linked to each plays (which tells the story of the plays, def recommand it), 3) All the backstages from limited time cards i could get. Backstages linked to specific events are inside their specific event files, else the cards which didn’t come in an event are in the “Scouting file”.  What’s important to read plotwise is the Event stories. The backstages are very good and i def recommand it but it may be overwhelming so you can skip them and come back later for them DLKJFLDKFJFD it’s really just the main plot of each event that you should watch.

(also i should mention only the first two events are fully voiced, the rest are just with some voicelines here and there, but i still recommand watching it bc of the mood with the music and the sprites and all)

so yeah ready to send it anytime you want  !! :3c