#he doesn't have to be jailed anymore though!

[pangur-and-grim]

Belphie has gotten soooooo much better, but at his core he's still an annoying baby

[creativesplat]

Both generations of Pines Twins were arrested. What were they doing? They’ll never tell you. 

[spotlightstudios]

I guess he's got tealish hair now! One day I'll finish this guy's ref. I just- ough.

[numinous-scribe]

Siblings by trial and choice

So @noir-renard posted a prompt in Haunting Heroes a little while ago that's had me in a perpetual choke hold ever since.

When the Portal ZAPS Danny, he doesn't just get turned into a half ghost; he gets catapulted halfway across the galaxy. So now he's stuck on an alien ship, trying to deal with new powers, and desperately searching for a way home.

And my immediate thought was "How can I make this about Starfire?", from which everything spiraled.

[Click the pictures for better quality!]

Having assumed that the portal wasn't even supposed to be functional, Danny had absolutely no basis for anything that was happening to him. Not his new look or powers, not for wherever he was, and certainly not for the predicament of where he landed-- A ship he would later come to know as belonging to the slavers known as the Gordanians.

For all Danny knew, he certainly wasn't human anymore, and he might not have even been in the same dimension either; while Earth had been seeing more and more interactions with aliens, he'd never seen any quiet like these, and his parents had said that the portal was designed to view a whole other world.

And that was terrifying! He was Danny Fenton, just fourteen, and so far out of his depth it wasn't even funny. If it weren't for Koriand'r then Danny didn't know how he would have kept it all together.

As it were, Kor'i had already been enslaved for four years by this point. She knew what it was like to suddenly be cut off from everything she'd ever known, and the torment that was awaiting this strange boy that had appeared in a flash of green light. So even though she had nothing to give, Kor'i stuck by Danny's side.

Together, for the next two years, they fed each other hope.

Naturally, returning to Earth was a big ordeal for Danny, and by proxy for Kor'i as well. Over the two years they spent enduring harsh labor and torture from both their Gordanian captors and the Psions, Danny had confided in all sorts of stories about his home world and vice versa Kor'i about Tamaran. After confirming that he hadn't been transported to another reality, and that this was his Earth, Danny had been so excited to return home and to introduce Kor'i to his friends and family.

But while Earth was still the same, home... was not.

His parents were in jail; not only for their unethical and code violating lab, but because they were so neglectful to the point that minors were able to get into the lab unsupervised and one of them— Danny —was able to access their faulty machine and, presumably, died.

Jazz got picked up by the state, but quickly managed to get herself emancipated and now lived in some other state attending college.

The Manson's moved. Sam was a wreck and not coping well at all; her parents were considering having her committed to an institution for a bit to help her last anyone had heard.

The Foley's couldn't afford to move, so Tucker had to carry on with life as well as he could. He's quiet now, not as verbose and shameless as before, more of a hermit than anything.

And since he's been presumed dead, and can't figure out how to disprove that, honestly, Danny doesn't know how to pick back up where he left off. He can't. Because everything, including him, has changed as well.

But, like she's always done since the moment they met, Kor'i was there for him. And now they have a new family in the Teen Titans as well.

Bonus:

Close ups of Phantom and Starfire. Danny's suit design is a mixture of some of his original concept art and @the-stove-is-on-fire's designs :)

[project-sonadow]

My [15M] rival [15/50M] has been weirdly aggressive towards me ever since he lost his memories for the second(?) time. Should I be worried about him trying to kill me again?

Summary

A post on r/relationship_advice by u/Chili_Dog1991

EDIT 1: Stop saying I'm Sonic I'm not.

EDIT 2: Okay I am Sonic. I don't see how that matters.

EDIT 3: Stop trying to figure out which of my rivals this is.

EDIT 4: Stop telling me to contact the police about his attempts to murder me or his age. It's complicated in regards to his age but he's essentially 15 and I can already defend myself way better than the police can in regards to his murder attempts. Also the police would probably try to arrest me too because they're either useless or make things actively worse.

EDIT 5: Stop DMing me to ask how murder attempts can be fun. I shouldn't have to explain this.

EDIT 6: Stop implying I'm a masochist.

EDIT 7: Stop implying I'm an adrenaline junkie. If I just wanted adrenaline I've got tons of other people who could give me that.

EDIT 8: To everyone who actually responded with advice, thank you. I attempted to talk to him about it, we fought again, and it turns out he's been acting aggressive because he doesn't know how to show affection so he just defaults to violence. We ended up holding hands after we physically couldn't fight anymore. It was a great night and I think we're together now.

EDIT 9: Which of you motherfuckers sent this to Tails.

ORIGINAL POST

Hi everyone, using a throwaway account to make this post because my little brother knows my main and the embarrassment would kill me if he ever saw this. 

So for context, I've known this guy for a while now, at least in the context of my life. I've got a pretty hectic life and I'm a traveler, so I've met a lot of people and he's one of the few that's been able to keep up with me. Our first meeting was during a bit of a stressful time because he kind of inadvertently framed me for thievery (we look kinda alike and the police are stupid, it's not his fault but I was pretty pissed at the time) and got me arrested, so we ended up fighting about it in the middle of the street. I'm used to fighting and pretty good at it, so it was a surprise when he turned out to be basically my equal at it, which is pretty rare even among my other rivals. He got the upper hand on me for long enough that the police were able to arrest me again. I was pretty mad but also impressed. Our second meeting was even more stressful because I had just got out of jail after being arrested for the second time, and I was still angry about it so we fought again. I was about to win but then it turned out we were both in danger along with some friends of mine so we both left as fast as we could. Both of these times I could tell he was taking the fight seriously, but I could also tell he wasn't trying to KILL ME kill me. Y'know?

Anyway, in our next meeting he was definitely trying to kill me. Outright said it to my face. I won that fight thankfully, and I'm not even angry about it because a lot of people have tried to kill me over the years and also he has some kind of goal I was getting in the way of, and he didn't even succeed. He ended up changing his mind about that goal though, and when we next saw each other we were on the same side trying to deal with a mutual threat. 

And it was at that point I kind of realized I was in love. I've never really wanted a relationship because I thought it would get in the way of my lifestyle, but with this guy specifically it wouldn't be a problem. I would have told him about it, but then I thought he died and I didn't see him for a while. I wasn't too broken up about it because we only knew each other for a couple days, but I was still sadder than I thought I would have been.

He ended up coming back to life though, and he had lost his memories for the second time in his life (long story I'm not gonna get into) and he didn't really remember me anymore. I know from a mutual friend of ours that he remembered me well enough to be annoyed by my name, which made me irrationally happy, and I think he did end up getting his memories back, but when we first saw each other he definitely didn't know who I was. We fought again, it was a tie, and then we ended up teaming up to take down a mutual enemy again. 

Things have been a bit less chaotic since then. We've fought a couple more times but nothing serious, he's saved my life, I've saved his, you know how it goes. We haven't really talked about anything that happened, but that's fine because neither of us have ever been much for verbal communication and we understand each other just fine. I've tried getting over my crush on him, but that's never really worked because we see each other a lot due to our lifestyles and we have some mutual friends in common, and I like spending time with him anyways, even if we're just beating each other up most of the time.

Personality wise, he's basically my polar opposite, but we get on pretty well despite that. I think aside from my general attraction to danger and his ability to match me in a fight and a race that might be the main thing that draws me to him. I've got a lot of friends, but never one so different from me and yet so similar. He's just always been special to me.

But the main reason I'm making this post is because despite all we've been through, he still acts like we're enemies at worst and temporary allies at best. We fight almost every time we meet unless something less serious is going on, and he's pretty grumpy and mean to me all the time. I like this about him, but it does make me question if he even sees me as anything more than a rival, and I don't know how to ask him because we don't talk about weird emotional stuff. I also think that asking him directly could maybe lead to another murder attempt, which would be fun, but it's not what I'm looking for anymore. I don't mind all the fighting, but just once I'd like to kiss him on the mouth instead of punching his teeth in, y'know?

[meeludrawz]

Shigaraki dating & other hcs

🐀 Says "Damn it" a little bit too much 🐀 "Fuck off" to people who annoys him (aka Toga, Twice & sometimes Dabi) 🐀 Very silent, only speaks up when he disagrees, complains or when someone's talking to him 🐀 When he doesn't like something, no matter how small or irrelevant that thing is, he wants to dust it, because it "Pisses him off" 🐀 Sarcastic most of the time and when pissed (for real this time), he quickly jumps to threats or insults 🐀 DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COOK, only microwave stuff 🐀 Picky eater, but not overly picky 🐀 HATES it when you're upset, mostly when you're on the verge of tears, he just wants you to be happy and it breaks his heart seeing you cry. But of course, he'll never admit that so he'll say that it annoys or pisses him. 🐀 Very VERY observant, he'll notice right away if you have new clothes, a new shampoo, if you had a bad night or if something troubles you 🐀 Has a very good memory, he easily remembers important dates, the small habits that you have or where you last put your keys 🐀 Talking about good memory and being observing, he learns very fast. You're teaching him how to drive? He already knows the basic of course (GTA) but also by looking at you driving 🐀 He could also learn how to cook if he observed you but he just loves when you do it <3 🐀 Shigaraki analyzes very quickly, he's an overthinker, which benefits him for his job. Not so much on relationships, so at the beginning he might have insecurities towards you. So you two need to ✨ communicate ✨ 🐀 After that, once he knows for sure that you love him, his overthinking will be sent towards what gift you want for christmas or something 🐀 He loves roadtrips with you, he would stick his arms or head out of the window, not dramatically, he's not stupid, it's dangerous, but just a bit, because he loves the feeling of freedom 🐀 He also loves watching the landscapes passing by, it feels refreshing as he almost never goes out of town due to his "job"

🐀He loves hearing you sing. He loves your voice, no matter what it sounds like because he sees how happy you are, judging by your dancing and the sparks in your eyes, and he thinks that's perfect 🐀Now let's talk about kisses, at first he was unsure about them because of his very dried lips, thinking you might find that disgusting 🐀 But oh, the first kiss you two shared, he was melting and his brain was throwing fireworks. Now, he won't stop giving you kisses here and there when he wants to <3 🐀PDA? Hell nah, don't get me wrong, HE'D LOVE TO! But his #1 Villain in Japan status would get dragged in the mud OR you'd end up in jail. (Which would result in him destroying the whole city to get you out of there) 🐀 Even with the LOV around, he doesn't touch you or else they'll start annoying him and he'll throw hands, literally 🐀 Buuuuuuuuuuuut, as soon as you're alone with him, GOD HE CRAVES IT. Hugs from behind, cuddles on the bed… Then you walk past him when he's on the couch? Nope, not anymore, he grabbed you and now you're stuck on his lap <3 🐀Once he starts cuddling, it's very HARD to get rid of him, poor baby just wants affection 🐀 Unless you really need space then he'll leave you alone and threaten anyone that gets too close (While he sits against the door of your bedroom, waiting patiently for you to feel better) 🐀Very flexible with his fingers, he practiced A LOT to control his quirk without any protection. And what was his best way for that? Guitars, pianos and harps! Yes, he knows how to play all three of those. Though, he'll never play harp anymore because he thinks that's not cool. But piano and guitar? Maybe he'd play some for you ;) 🐀 Talking about flexible fingers! That made him very fast on a keyboard and with a console controller, which made him the best player of the LOV 🐀He never had gloves until he met you. He was so often confused by his feelings that he'd get pissed and accidentally dust something

🐀Hell, when he realized that he had feelings for you, he really, really, REALLY didn't want to accidentally dust you. So…. GLOVES :D 🐀Why didn't he invest in gloves earlier?! Nah, really, WHY?! Now that he has gloves, he dust less and less often his shirts when putting them on, which is great! 🐀He only played a few games when you met him. Now, because of your suggestions, he plays all sorts of games! 🐀Talking about games, he has all consoles you'd need. Xbox, PS, Switch and PC. So if you ever had one console in your entire life and wanted to test a game on another platform, well now you can because of your precious dusty boyfriend :P <3 🐀You thought he was a cat person at first and he is, but he's a tiny bit more dog 🐀And jellyfish, he loves jellyfishes 🐀For the last HC 🐀You always thought he didn't take care of his hair, that it looked messy and gross to the touch 🐀To your surprise, when you first headpat him, it was very soft and fluffy. It just seems to not obey to any type of brushes

[luveline]

Hi, I’ve never sent a request before so forgive me if this sounds weird I’m still learning how to use Tumblr lol but what if Eddie and reader go to Roan’s school for parent-teacher conference and her teacher shows them something Roan wrote or made expressing how much she loves her new mom and her new little family🩷 and reader cries from how happy and loved Roan and Eddie make her feel🥹

ty for ur request, it doesn't sound weird at all! eddie and roan —you and eddie attend roan's PT conference, stepmother!reader, 1.2k

You hide from the biting winter wind in Eddie's side. “Is it supposed to be this cold?” you ask. 

“You sound surprised. It's December,” he says, though he puts his arm over your shoulders to cover as much of you as he can. “I told you to wear a coat.” 

“The coat ruins my outfit,” you say. 

“You being cold ruins the outfit.” He nods towards the step up into the school building. “You could say the outfit ruins what's underneath–” 

“What's wrong with you?”  

“An appreciation for my wife?” 

“Stop saying that, you're confusing people. Steve asked me last night if we got married in private–” 

“You're always talking to Steve,” Eddie complains, “he doesn't even call me anymore, he just wants to talk to you.” 

He'd called to ask if he was still babysitting, actually, but Eddie wouldn't know that because he and Roan had been playing monsters at the time, speaking to each other in gruff tones while they made sandwiches for dinner. 

“You have a problem.” 

Eddie can't decide whether to bicker or dote, squeezing you tightly, a promise about new problems lost to the growing ruckus of the elementary school after hours. Some parents have brought their children, but the majority stand chatting in lines to see the teachers. You and Eddie have come through the main entrance of the building rather than the side door where Roan enters, and the walk to Mrs. Lundy's room is longer than usual, though far from unpleasant. Light shines through the windows where a rainbow of creatures have been painted, leaving glowing shapes of apricot, cerulean, and lilac on your skin as you pass. 

“You're like a Christmas tree,” Eddie says. 

“I just need some tinsel.” You point at the decorations hanging from Mrs. Lundy's doorway. “Like that.” 

“You want some tinsel? I'll get you some tinsel, baby, just give me a minute. And maybe distract her.” 

You refuse to help him steal from Mrs. Lundy, and spend your time in line waiting with his hands held firmly in yours to prohibit any theft. Eddie moans about being jailed but is otherwise content. He quite likes it, actually, rearranging your fingers to stroke your knuckles. 

Mrs. Lundy is smiling, happy to see you and brag about your girl. She starts with Roan's general education, her behaviour, her grades, though this young she doesn't have grades so much as milestones. Roan is smart but no wizz kid (not that you care), she's kind (but not always good at sharing), she's loud, and rambunctious, a great artist, and she's very, very happy. 

“She talks about your wedding all the time. Every day. She tells us she's going to be the flower girl, and the best man, and that she has a beautiful dress.” Mrs. Lundy beams. “She's walking on sunshine.” The teacher's smile turns soft, almost wistful. “Well, she's Roan. You know what she's like better than I do.” 

Your cheeks ache with pride. 

“She's a good kid,” Eddie says. 

“Yes!” Mrs. Lundy reaches across the desk for a turquoise-coloured folder. “There was actually something I wanted to share with you both… You know we have creative writing assignments, and obviously we help them with making real sentences, but what she has to say is very much of her own volition.” 

Mrs. Lundy pulls a sheet of paper from the folder and puts it down in front of your hands. “The prompt was what makes you happy,” she says. 

The first sentence is simple. 

My mommy. 

A drawing of you decorates the page above the lines, so clearly you, your smile wide and pink. 

My mommy is kind and I love her. Dad sayd the wedding is speshul becase he loves her, but she will be my mom. She makes me so happy. Mommy says she loves me all of the time, and she brushus my hair. My best part of the day is when Y/N comes home and hugs me. We are so happy, and Lucky gets dinner. I love my dad too, and Uncle Wayn. 

Her spelling errors have been corrected in green pen, and her backwards letters are written forwards for her to copy. You read the entire paragraph in a blur, thinking about how long it must've taken her to get it all down, nearly an entire page in her bubbly handwriting, big letters running off of the page. 

“Needless to say,” Mrs. Lundy says, “that most children write about their families, or their pets, or their toys. But Roan was extremely focused on the word love. She's clearly going home to a loving home every night.” Mrs. Lundy smiles at Eddie. You nearly miss it, reading the paragraph again, and then a third time. 

“Can I take this?” you ask, clearing your throat, tears brewed and bobbing on your waterline, desperate to be shed. “Is that okay?” 

Eddie laughs and elbows you in the arm. “Come on, it's hardly news.” 

You wipe your eyes before you can cry in front of them both. “I'm sorry, just– can I?” 

Mrs. Lundy beams again, emphasising the well-worn smile lines at the corners of her lips and creasing beside her eyes. 

You hold it together well for a little while. Eddie talks over your wobbly silence, a hand on your shoulder, assuring Mrs. Lundy that you're all, in fact, very happy, and he's just glad that Roan is being a good student and friend to her classmates. Mrs. Lundy's kindness and Roan's love letter to you has knocked you entirely off kilter, and you're crying before you've reached the car. They're happy tears. 

“Come on,” Eddie says, taking the paper you've folded carefully from your fingers as they clench. “She's said nicer to you in person.” 

And sure she has. Roan loves hitting you with the saccharine when you're not expecting it. Drying her hair after bath time, totally distracted, she'll kiss your cheek and say, “You're so pretty.” She sprinkles I love you's wherever they'll fit like her dad does, and she shows it with little gifts and cuddles and invitations. Y/N, do you want to have a fashion show with me? Y/N, can we have ice cream in bed? Can I do your hair, please, mommy? 

“It's different. It's different,” you insist, scrambling to find the words. “She's…” You rub your eyes. Your makeup is smudging, but you can't help it. “I don't even know what to say.” 

Eddie shrugs. Lean shoulders, a loving arm behind your back, the car in sight but getting no closer, he comforts you in the middle of the parking lot while the passing headlights kiss your shoes. “You know how much she loves you, babe. This is a good thing, right? You're not upset?” 

“Not upset,” you clarify. 

“Okay, good. Is this a bad time for me to say that I am profoundly jealous right now? I used to get all the drawings and cards, I used to get Mother's day gifts. I have a mother's day card up in the attic… might have to get it out,” —he kisses your cheek— “just to cope.” 

You laugh through a sniffle. “Let's go get it,” you say. 

He presses Roan's assignment back into your hand. “You can keep that one, but don't get it out around me. I'm serious.” 

[waybeforeyourtime]

Why this line was the last straw?

"Why can't I decide how the hell I want to live? I want to live a normal life."

Before S1E1 even hits the 3-minute mark, we see a frustrated Wille make this statement. We, the audience, think it's simply the spoiled demands of a privileged prince.

We come to find out that it's not. It's a boy being forced into a role he doesn't fit into. He's a square peg being shoved into a round hole.

Then he meets Simon. Then he becomes Crown Prince.

"I can't keep doing this anymore."

He tries, but he can't. So, he goes back to Simon. Then he * fucks * up again. The video is leaked. More shame on the family. He lies to be a good prince.

He's surrounded by the privileged and expected to act like the privileged while loving someone unprivileged. August betrays him and hurts Simon because he isn't a good enough Prince.

August: "You have it all, and you don't want it." (paraphrasing).

August can be his backup, but he hates August for what he did. Except Wille is getting desperate. He's lost Simon, and he considers letting that happen to give him the normal life he always wanted. Except August is worse than he thought. August would send Simon to jail to protect himself.

He wants to be a good prince and not let August take the role, somewhat out of spite, too.

Wille - impulsive last-minute Wille - decides, mid-freakin'-speech, to try being true to himself and remain a Royal, and he outs himself publicly and declares that it was him with Simon in the video.

It doesn't change anything, though. In fact, it gets worse. Now, Simon has to fit into the mold of a Royal, and he's miserable. Wille tries to explain how it works but he can't. It's half-hearted. He doesn't believe in it, so how can he sell it to Simon? He doesn't think Simon should have to stop posting his music or being who he is, but it's what is expected of him. It's how the privileged act. They expect the lower class to conform to their wishes. They don't care about the wants or needs of the lower classes.

Simon breaks up with him. Wille's defeated because he knows Simon is right. Simon will never be happy being stuck in the expectations of Royal life. But Wille isn't either. And Wille sees that his mother isn't happy - she's having a mental breakdown. Erik wasn't the perfect brother either. He did toxic things and then covered it up.

Everyone is fake. Except Simon, so he lets him go.

"You'll make a great King."

This was the last straw. Wille had never heard that before. Everything he's ever done has been the wrong thing. The wrong way of thinking. The wrong way of acting. Wanting the wrong things. When he tried to make it right, it failed. Now, his mother is telling him that he'll make a Great King. Why? Because he gave up Simon and tried to fake it like everyone else.

And in that moment, our impulsive last-minute Wille, decides that 'no. he will not make a great king.' He stops just trying to get approval from his parents. He will not carve out pieces of himself to fit in that round hole, and he runs. He runs away from it and runs towards a life where he can make his own choices. He doesn't know who he wants to be, but he knows it's not King.

A hopeful ending. Not a happy ending.

[daisybianca]

pairing: lewis hamilton x yn

summary: lewis is kind of a mafia type of guy here, but he still remains the best f1 driver in history with 8 championships (!). mafia means that he kinda kills people. he's always hot put now he is double hot. idk if that's even possible, but anyway. you're his girl, and he sees that someone made a bruise on your hand. spoiler alert: i doesn't end well for the guilty man.

warnings: lots of cursing words, sexual actions, mentions of death, etc

(a/n): it is written in 1 pov, from his point of view. though it couldn't get any hotter? nah, it can.

WHEN I UNLOCK my mansion's door and come see my girlfriend crying, three completely different options pass through my mind.

One. Killing someone.

Two. Making someone regret.

Three. Doing both of those after kissing my woman's tears until the don't exist anymore.

I rush to her on the couch, not even bothering to shut the door behind me. "What happened, baby?" I get on my knees and try to hold her close to me. She doesn't meet my gaze. She's hidden her face behind her little hands, but I can still take a glimpse of her scorching hot, red cheeks. "Hey, y/n, talk to me." I try to persuade her, even though it seems impossible.

"P-please," she stutters, and something dark and colorful captures my attention on her left wrist.

Fuck.

It's a bruise. A fucking bruise. A huge one to be exact.

I try to compose myself. It's not even enough. I think my jawline starts to tremble, and I don't even notice at first. "Y/N," I force her to look at me, forcing her hands away off her beautiful face. Her features are soft but her precious eyes have turned swollen and her lips are tighter than ever. "Who did this to you?" The words come out sharp. I don't even think about them to be honest.

She is my fucking woman. These are the rules. Nobody is allowed to touch her in a way that she doesn't want to. Not even me.

I cup her small face with both my hands. "Who hurt you, baby?"

I hear a soft cry and then she tries to speak again but doesn't manage to do it properly without stuttering.

Fuck, I won't look good in jail clothing.

I bit my lip in order to not lose it just at this fucking moment. My fists become a ball. My girl notices and places her little ones over my hands to stop the shaking.

"Baby, please," I mouth. "Tell me who the bastard is, and I swear, he'll never see sunlight again to touch you." Forcing myself to stand up, in a matter of seconds, I sit on the couch, and she's moved on my lap. I think I'm losing my mind each time she looks at me, and I don't know who to kill. "Just tell me a name, Y/N."

She finally stops crying. Fuck.

My heart jumps each time she attempts to speak but is unable to due to the silent sobs.

A few seconds pass.

A few more, too.

Eventually, I feel a hand pressing on my chest and immediately blood rushes straight to my cock.

Damn it.

Of course, my dick doesn't get the whole situation. It has a whole brain of its one. In fact, we are under hard circumstances right now. And surely, there can't be anything harder than that at the moment.

She hides her face in my neck. I place my hand on the back of it and wait.

I think my blood pressure is on its fucking limits when she turns to face me. "It's my ex." She blurts out suddenly. I want to laugh but I don't.

Oh this fucking bastard again... Though we were done with him by the time I threatened him with his life if he ever got close to my girl again. But he definitely isn't the type of guy loyal to anything. Not to promises, not to threats, not even to his ex-girlfriend.

"He asked to meet me. I said no, but he wouldn't understand. He was waiting outside my place this morning, claiming he'd like to talk. I wanted to get away from him, but he grabbed my arm and..." her voice breaks.

I hold her for a few seconds as the sobs initiate again. Afterward, I get up and make a very important call. Returning, I am very pleased to meet a much-better-looking, without-any-tears woman sitting on the couch and scrolling through her phone.

Noticing me, she looks at me. I try to smile. "He'll be dead till midnight." Sitting next to her, I take her on my lap and kiss the dry tears off her cheeks.

And then I start undressing her, not because my dick is asking for it since one hour ago, but because she seems in the mood for it.

"I just want you to fuck me, Lewis." She says as I press my palm around her neck and spread wet kissing along her breasts. "Fuck me like you hate me."

I smile. "Baby, I could never hate you."

"Just do it for an hour," she moans against my ear. "Please."

I stop to look at her, laughing. "An hour?" I rise my eyebrows. "Love, you underestimate me."

She laughs too, and we're off to upstairs, where one of the mansion's bedrooms is located.

I want to make love to her, truth to be told. Passionate and delicate. But she asked for a rough fuck.

She knows I'm a man capable of doing both. So I proceeded to doing them.

[one-vivid-judgment]

You know what I love about the Ichigang? That they were all alone and at rock bottom at some point, with no one to rely on for support:

- Nanba wanted to be like Nightingale, but then got fired because he took the fall for someone else, who ended up having lied to him for her own benefits. His brother was being watched by the Geomijul and then disappeared; Nanba spent a long ass time homeless and not knowing if his brother was alive or not. 

- Adachi lived with the Kusumi incident in his conscience for years, hating Horinouchi's guts and hoping to find something to take the guy down. First he's demoted to the license center, then he's straight up fired. No job, no retirement, man never got married or had a family. The Barkeep even says he's "not usually a happy drunk" and that "it's the first time in a long time I see him smile like that".

- Saeko's family life is a DISASTER. Her mom died, her sister wants nothing to do with her (to the point where they were both working for the same guy and Nanoha EXPLICITLY told Nonomiya not to tell her sister about it, even when things were tough and she could've used Saeko's help), her dad is old and dying. She is on her own and basically only has her girls and Nonomiya—until Nonomoya dies, and she's conflicted cause sure, he wasn't the best guy around, but he was still there for her when she needed, and now he's gone. 

- Yeonsu's life, man. Yeonsu's fucking life. His dad was a drunkard who abused his son and cared about him so little that he had no qualms basically giving Yeonsu up as tribute to the Jingweon mafia to turn him into their leader's double—mind you, this means he could've been killed at any point. He basically lived as the shadow of someone else for years, never being seen for himself but for Joongi Han. 

- Zhao's Liumang leader status was passed down from his dad. He was doing a good job although he's clearly more passionate about cooking and having his restaurant—that he doesn't mind a simpler life and even EMBRACES it and gets angry when anyone suggests he's "just some chef". He still lead the Liumang though. And then his men and right hand turn on him and try to get him killed and what do you know, suddenly there is nothing anymore. 

- Seonhee was a kid when the whole Jingweon mafia shit show happened and then it all came crashing down. Her people who managed to escape alive were left on their own and abandoned until the Geomijul was created. 

- Even Eri, the optional party member, was in a similar situation. She was tricked by Hosho and her company was at the verge of shutting down, and when she thought she had a chance to get back on her feet thanks to Nonomiya's help, she finds out he died, and basically, as far as she knows, all hope is lost. 

And then, Chitose and Tomizawa. I feel they are the perfect example of how easy it is to stray and go down the wrong path when you are in that type of situation, and how even the tiniest kind gesture can do wonders to you:

- Chitose was a sheltered rich girl whose whole life was dictated by her parents. She craved the independence and the freedom and she wanted CONNECTION—which is how she ended up falling in Eiji's trap and being blackmailed for years and manipulated into using people who actually cared about her and with whom she was finally developing that connection she always yearned for. As far as she knows, said people will push her to the side as soon as they find out about her betrayal, and then she'll be alone again. 

- Tomizawa was living the live with his girlfriend, a nice job and a kid on the way—until Dwight and the Barracuda pinned their crimes on him. He went to jail, Marie lost the baby and then disappeared, he's blacklisted from every bank and had to go to Yamai for help with his debts, and after that, he basically became a puppet who did everythint Yamai asked him to out of fear. He hates himself for being a coward who's not able to pull the trigger even when it's necessary, and he blames himself for everything that happened. He is a horrible person in his own eyes, and as far as he knows, there is no getting out of this situation. 

And then there is Ichi, who has seen nothing but rock bottom for so fucking long but still manages to see the bright side of things. He is a good person, sometimes borderline stupid and his choices end up making his superiors (aka Sawashiro) mad. But it doesn't matter how much life beats him down, he always gets back up because he has that "once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up" philosophy. And, although some of his friends have used him for their benefit or straight up assaulted him, Ichi never turns his back on them. Because he KNOWS how it feels to be alone and to not have anyone there for you, anyone that you can rely on, and if he can be that someone, then he WILL be. If he can change a single person's life, he WILL. 

Anyway, I love the Ichigang so much and these are the kind of thoughts I have about them at 1 a.m

[lover-of-mine]

I know I wrote a whole essay on why Eddie fell first and how you can track down some level of awareness all the way back to the tsunami if you try and all that, but I'm having let's recontextualize season 3 and 4 thoughts so... Here's the thing, Eddie's relationship with Shannon was defined by Christopher (and hypothetical child #2), right? He proposed because she got pregnant, he wanted to propose again when he thought she was pregnant again, he brought her back into his life because Chris needed something from her even though they had been living in the same city for a while and he had never tried to contact her for himself, he uses bringing Shannon back into Chris' life as a statement about their marriage until Shannon pushed him into the corner again asking what they're doing. So the one relationship ever had at that point in his life was defined by Christopher. And the way we witness Eddie struggle to trust Shannon adds to things. They're married, she's Christopher's mother but he's not all the way in unless when he's pushed into the corner. So when you look at all that, and the choice Eddie makes of looking Buck in the eye and say "there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you" means a lot given the circumstances. Christopher almost died while on Buck's watch. No one in their right mind would blame Eddie for being cautious. But not trusting Buck doesn't occur to him. So he makes a very definitive statement about the space Buck has in his life using Christopher. I hate making the explicit comparison because a lot of the way Eddie doesn't trust Shannon comes from the fact she didn't choose to come back while Buck keeps barreling his way in, but he tells a Shannon begging for forgiveness that he's not sure he can trust her and then he turns around and pushes his way in to make sure Buck knows he still trusts him. Eddie might not understand all the implications of the way he still trusts Buck that much, but the implications are there. Then we have the lawsuit of it all. The lawsuit is categorically NOT about Eddie. But Eddie makes it about himself because he can't understand the way Buck wouldn't consider him while deciding he didn't have the 118 anymore when he thought he was being clear about what Buck means to him. Buck made it legally impossible for Eddie to talk to him and Eddie does not know what to do with not being able to talk to the one person he relies on even more with the way Chris is also struggling. So dude makes a statement about his relationship with Buck using Christopher yet again. "Do you have any idea how much Christopher misses you? How could you? You're not around." We don't know that for sure but I think it is safe to assume that Eddie did not find out about the lawsuit directly from Buck so all of a sudden, he was not allowed to talk to Buck and he took that very personally, but he uses Christopher as a shield for how the thing makes him feel, but he's still very much talking about himself because the second Buck offers a solution so he can see Chris, he turns around with "it prevents me from reaching out to you, I couldn't even call you to bail me out of jail," so even though Eddie is hiding behind Chris, everything is very obviously about their partnership. But it's Buck who forces him to talk about them. And Eddie let it go because he wanted Buck to consider him and Buck basically promises he will from then on and he keeps that. The thing is, Eddie is in therapy at this point and while Eddie is good at repression, it's not like the dude is unable to name the shit he's repressing. That man has to have thought about why Buck leaving him made him that angry. He has to have thought about why one of the fights he starts is with Buck. He might've not connected the dots, but he has to have realized there are dots to connect. Even more, considering the way Eddie shuts down Buck's attempt to get him to open up about why he was so angry. He's all things got out of hand, let's not think about it because he does not want to open that can of worms.

Then we have the Christmas and the way Buck adjacently fixes a problem by helping organize the party and making so Chris can be with Eddie and the skateboard incident where again, Buck is part of the solution. Those are situations that show that Buck and Eddie have similar parenting styles. And all of that leads us to the well. Eddie's I need to keep fighting montage is very interesting because of the amount of Buck in it, so Buck is in his mind. But also because the well prompts Eddie to change his will. Something became clearer while he was down there because it's not like Chris wouldn't be well taken care of by his parents and he has sisters, he has a lot of blood relatives who would make sure Chris was cared for. He's known Buck for what? A year and a half? And this is maybe 6 months after the lawsuit? And the guy is like "yeah, I'm gonna make this dude responsible for my kid and I am absolutely certain he'll do everything he can for me like I would" after almost dying. Mr defines relationships using his kid gives his kid to someone after the type of experience that makes a human take a deeper look into their lives and I need to believe Eddie doesn't know? He might've not named it in his head. He might've not looked at it head-on and accepted what it truly means. But he has to know something. There's no way that man thinks that what he has with Buck is just a regular friendship. Especially because he hides it. He could've asked Buck, taken Buck with him to talk with his attorney, Buck would've said yes. But he hid it because he didn't want to answer the "why me" question because even during the will reveal my man is in deflection mode and does not fully answer why he did it, he just answers the "why are you telling me" question. He needs Buck to understand he matters and he pulls the will out of his pocket. He goes "here's a reminder you're loved" with something that's one hell of a statement for Eddie. It's the thing Shannon asks for as a statement about their marriage that he couldn't give until he was pushed to it. The idea that he doesn't have some level of awareness he's in love with Buck is... He has to know and just have accepted he is gonna take that to the grave because Buck doesn't want him like that because the way he acts is very specific for me to believe it's fully unconscious. Dude repressed the shit out of it, but he knows what he's repressing, there's no way.

[wolfofcelestia]

What do you think would happen to Zayne if MC dies ?

We already know what Zayne looks like without MC. And that's Dawnbreaker

The bad ending:

One possibility would be that he would just give up. Career-wise, he's already accomplished enough to retire on and not have to work anymore. And if his main purpose in life no longer exists, then he has every right to just hang up his doctor's coat for good and essentially become as depressed as Dawnbreaker

But I think he'd be worse than Dawnbreaker. Even though he doesn't have an MC of his own, Dawnbreaker still has a purpose for himself and goal he wants to reach. Without MC, Zayne has no motive for his work or for his life

Sure, he cares about his patients. But when he's nursing such a huge, unhealable wound in his heart, there's no room for him to care about anyone else. All he wants is MC back. And if the only way he can see her again is in his dreams, then he'd let himself drown in them every night

The not-so-bad ending... wait this is also a bad ending:

That being said, unlike with Dawnbreaker, Zayne has people around him who care about him. His coworkers, Dr. Noah, his parents... they'll all help him in some way to not give up, so I think it really comes down to if he has enough support around him to not just end up wallowing in his depression for the rest of his life

But then again, if his medical family and his parents are the only support he has, then he will absolutely throw himself into his work 10000%. The hospital is where his friends are, the only ones who care about him. The hospital is where he can lose himself and be the cold, unfeeling Dr. Zayne

He'd overwork himself to the bone, even worse than before, because he doesn't want to think about how much he's hurting. He can fill his mind up with Patient A all the way to Patient Z, and not think about the patient he lost

And sooner or later, his exhausted body and exhausted mind will catch up to him. And he would have absolutely no defence against his evol when he loses control of it

The worst ending:

There's also the revenge route. If MC's death had something to do with Ever, I feel like he'd still quit his regular job as a surgeon and start researching into Ever until he can either gather enough evidence to put the people responsible in jail, or create some kind of vaccine that would undo everything Ever is trying to do with humans and wanderers

In this case too, I feel like he'd turn into a version that's very close to Dawnbreaker. All the other LIs have wanted posters. This is where Zayne would get his

And considering how explosive Zayne's evol is when out of control, I feel like, in a last ditch effort, he could very well destroy all of Ever's research in one go

[jjclopelover]

How he talks to/about her v.s. How he talks to/about him

I'm back with more analysis' about JJPope and why it's better than anything either of them had with Kie.

Today I'm talking about JJ and how he speaks of and to them and why the difference in how he does it speaks VOLUMES.

JJ talking about Kie (S1): "Of course, I'm hitting on her. She's a super-hot, rich, hippie chick, slumming with us. Why? I can't figure it out either, but who cares, bro? I know that door's locked because I tried it. Have you?"

JJ talking about Pope(S2): "Ain't all that bad. Just look at the guy over there. He would do anything for us. That's a Pouge if I've ever seen one. Bone-deep. That's just one man's opinion, though."

THE DIFFERENCE.

JJ talking to/about Pope:

"For once in your life, trust someone else."

~~~

"You're the golden boy."

~~~

Topper: "Hey, I just wanna make sure everyone here is okay with ending up in federal prison."

JJ: "Uh, if it gets to that, yeah, I'll do it for Pope."

~~~

"I'm here for you, Pope. Welcome to my world, okay?"

~~~

JJ talking to/about Kie:

"And you--I mean, you're already rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?"

~~~

"Okay. Not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kiara."

~~~

"Hell of a job melting it down, Dr.Frankenstein."

~~~

(I don't need to put anymore as all of JJ's quotes for Kie are from the first half of S1 lol.)

As you can see, JJ speaks highly of Pope and lowly of Kie. He sees being a pouge as a badge of honor and gave Pope the highest honor. He sees Pope as someone he can relate too and shares a deep connection too.

He doesn't see that with Kie.

And I hear Jiara stans saying "What about S3? He was so worried about her and went back to get her!"

And to that, I say, "Yeah...cuz it's JJ."

His number one trait as a character is his loyalty. It's his best trait as it shows how much he will do for his friends. But also his worst trait as he puts his friends over his own being and in the end it only hurts him.

JJ would have reacted the same if it was anyone else in that situation.

Like when John B was a wanted criminal, JJ did anything for him. (risking to get arrested himself, shooting cops, and being by his side when he was on the run)

Or when Sarah is dealing with Ward or Rafe, JJ is always watching over her. (running after a car that held a drugged Sarah unconscious in the back, jumping in a shipping crate to get her and the cross back, staying by her side, and keeping an eye on her when John B was found guilty in court.)

And even Cleo who just joined the crew, JJ makes sure to treat her like the rest of the pouges. (like when he praised her for convincing Pope's parents to let him go to South America)

And we all know that he would do the same if not more for Pope. (going to jail for him, almost getting arrested for him again, taking over an entire boat of men to get his cross plus Sarah, risking being seen with him at Midsummers when he was supposed to be undercover, taking a beating from his dad for him, fighting for him at the outdoor movie, being super protective about him anytime he was around Limbrey and Renfield, keeping the secret that Pope was the one who actually sunk the boat and lying to the others, bringing Pope to his cousin Ricky's house to save his life even tho Ricky was still pissed at him for stealing his ambulance.)

And many, MANY, more.

The way we are introduced to JJ who loves and protects Pope but pushes Kie aside

versus

The way they "built up" S3 JJ for a toxic relationship with Kie but as a result of that he has to push Pope aside.

The writers and creators gave us s1 JJ, that's how his character was made and supposed to be portrayed. S3 JJ was built off toxic fans who threatened their way into an unfortunate canon ship.

Toxic stans = Toxic ship.

You Jiara stans wonder why JJ felt out of character, or why the Jiara chemistry felt forced or fake. That's because it was.

You can't force chemistry.

All the OBX cast did chemistry reads to see which duos worked together as a couple and which didn't. But the one duo that did not do a chemistry read was JJ and Kie (Rudy and Madi)

why?

because the creators saw no need. as they weren't even thinking of getting those two characters together. JJ was supposed to end up with Cleo. That was one of the many reasons Cleo came back as a main character.

What they would do with Kie and Pope, I don't know and I don't care. But Any ending would have been better than canon Jiara.

Anywaysssss

JJ treats Pope like he's his partner

and

JJ treats Kie like she's his sister

But let's be honest...we all see that, don't we?

Editor's note: Sry this took so long lol, life's been busy :)

[janeeyrewannabe]

thinking about Simon and Patty's developing relationship

1049 words

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

I already know how Simon would act. He’s so intense in every aspect of his life. In his art, his work, his relationships with other people, his love wouldn’t be any different. His feelings for patty are a novel thing. Simon’s never been the relationship kind of guy, even a casual hookup is still too intimate. He keeps his heart under lock and key along with his thoughts and admiration, but with patty it’s different. The way she treats everything, especially him, with the utmost devotion makes him want to be better.

Being in prison was hard, reintegrating into the real world and becoming a functioning, contributing member of society was fucking worse. Fresh out of jail and experiencing a new kind of relationship, a loving one, was something else. He’s never had any kind of monogamous situation with anyone, even when he was younger it was girls he barely knew in dimly lit rooms or bathrooms who he never he interacted with outside of sex. The shift was tough at first, as he falls deeper and deeper in love he wants to crawl back into the hole he was in before, turn himself inside out, and walk away. It was really fucking hard to squash that instinct and bury it as deep as humanly possible, but he does it because he’s felt the warmth of patty’s embrace and her tenderly curious gaze and there is no way he's letting that go.

Even though patty is the inexperienced one, Simon feels like a virgin. It’s the small moments that make him think he's back at square one. Waking up in bed with patty when she's still asleep. Just watching her breathe, seeing her chest rise and fall in an almost inconceivable way. Her overgrown bangs sprawled out across her forehead, long enough to be peaking into her eyes. Little bags under her eyes, mouth open a little. He can feel her breath on his arm, he’s never been more grateful to hear someone snore. Or maybe he's driving around with patty in his truck, which he kinda never gave it back (patty kept it warm for him while he was away), holding her hand and answering her questions while listening to her demos. Picking her up from work and making out in the back seat. Sitting on her bed watching her write her songs while he smokes a cigarette. Letting him get the first listen and mixing it up together. she’s picked up a few things from him, not so shit at the drums anymore. The feeling in his chest that’s too powerful to brush off.

He’s never been so close to someone, physically and emotionally, it frightens him a little. Think of when he tells patty he's john q but times a billion. When they lay in bed together after sex it's the polar opposite of any other post coital experience he's ever had. The I love you that's left on their tongues like the aftertaste of a cigarette that lingers for hours. They chat about whatever, trivial shit, it's what unsaid that makes it really fucking special. The promise of the future tangled in between them, trickling into their minds with visions of moving in together, making music together, just existing together outside of the watchful eyes of everyone else. Loving and coveting uninhibitedly.

Patty is the same but also completely different. She doesn't really have a problem with the emotional intimacy. She bares her heart to him right off the bat, sharing her quirks and habits. It’s harder with her words, she can’t ever really find the right ones. Even if she does it’s hard to string them together in a way that truly represents how she feels. Her affection for Simon comes out in her music. The lyrics and the sound she envisions as she writes shows the love she holds for him. You can see it in her expression too when she performs, searching for his face in the tightly packed crowd. Staring him down and singing the notes that crawl into his ears and travel through his veins to his heart and down to his dick. She’s never had anyone treat her the way Simon treats her, like she's his equal.

Just experiencing Simon for two days brought her out of her shell, but being with him day after day completely transforms her. She feels grateful to Simon for this; the adoration isn't one sided, she's got it just as bad as he does. Everything reminds her of him. Sissy and Karen tells her she sounds like a broken record, it’s Simon, Simon, Simon 24/7. When she's on her lunch break walking around outside the plaza where she works, she strolls past some guy smoking a cigarette. She smiles wide and bright, it reminds her of Simon. Of when he comes back inside at night after smoking outside, she kicks him out because her dad won't stop sneezing every time he walks into her room, cold and reeking of smoke. Breathing him in as she wraps her arms around his dirty green jacket and muscular body. Or maybe she sees a lighter on the ground while waiting for the bus, or a cloud that looks like his haircut. She sees his beauty everywhere she goes.

It’s the physical intimacy that she struggles with at times though. At first it’s intimidating being with Simon, he might be unnerving to most but the man gets around. It makes her nervous to surrender herself completely in such an intimate way, especially to someone who has done this a million times with a million people. But it's the way that he never makes her feel less than for not knowing or being a little shy that helps her come out of her shell. Even if she’s not the most experienced she still has a few tricks up her sleeve. Simon can get the same way too. When it's hard and fast, easy peasy, he’s well versed in that department. When it's long and painstakingly slow with shuddered breaths and I love you’s tumbling into the air around them, he gets a little freaked out. Once he gets over it, it consumes him, he can't get close enough. Patty too. They're inextricably connected in every metaphysical way possible.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

i use the word love way too many times in this omfg. please bare with me this is literally the first thing i’ve ever written ever 😭 if u don't like it pls lie to me

[gojoswhitebabydolllashes]

Let death be kinder than any x-men

Logan howlett x reader

---

ERRRRM I WOULD SAY DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE SPOILERS BUT WERE IN DAYS OF FUTURE PAST🦅😃

-

Warnings: I still don't know 😭 the reader makes a massive mistake. Idek if this is how xaviers powers work but wtv. Major Canon divergence. 🎶 represents when Charles is talking to reader in their head.

-

I know that sometimes I ask for too much sometimes. And I think today I did. It really does depend on how you define mistakes.

I knew Charles would help me. How did I know that the 21 year old version of my old professor 60 years in the future would help me? Because I just knew Charles Xavier like that.

"You want me to what?" He scratched his jaw.

"I want you to get inside logan's head and tell me what he's thinking of," I gulped and leant against the wall.

I could only tell that this would have consequences beyond my understanding. Beyond perhaps what anyone could really understand.

"I can try. I would ask why you need this, but I already know," he grinned with his lips high to his nose.

I scoffed a laugh and looked out into the city through the trees. Dark lights and fireflies. Night-time and fireworks. Onyx that encased sparks of all colours.

"So you'll help me?"

"Of course I will. What else do have to do in this damn world?"

-

🧠

There was this one time at the mansion when I punched Scott summers in the mouth for telling Logan he was a coward. I let him drip blood on the floor and make noises of pain as he held his painful jaw that would be bruised and red by tomorrow.

"Don't you ever fucking say that shit again"

-

It was a warm night, though still cool enough for a bonfire. Even though we were supposed to be in the middle of a fight with the sister of the man, I was sitting beside and saving the other mutants, we had collectively agreed, Wade and I, that a night to sit here wouldn't hurt. And convincing Logan was not easy, but he pulled through with an offer of whiskey.

After a while, Wade passed out, and Charles was minding his own business on the grass, when we asked what he was up to he replied 'I'm on the phone' but he had no phone in sight, and it took Logan a few seconds to realise.

I didn't know what to say to Logan. I didn't feel like saying anything or if anything would even work. He probably doesn't want to say anything either. After our altercation in the void, I didn't know what the fuck was going on anymore. I wanted to ask about it, but I was afraid his answer would be exactly as I thought.

"I didn't mean it" he said suddenly "what I said in the void, I didn't mean it"

It had genuinely shook me that he was first to bring it up.

"Oh," I said. "I was gonna ask you what happened, but I wasn't sure if anytime was going to be right"

Logan chuckled. For an unknown reason, he just did and sipped his drink. "Anytime after I die is perfect for these kinds of things"

I tried to smile and act like I was cool but in reality I was dying inside. I was screaming kicking and crying and throwing up and tearing adamantium bars off jail cells.

"I don't know what came over me," he admitted. "The truth is in my universe my wife was experimented on by scientists. Fuckin mad men"

I couldn't tell in the light, mostly because I wasn't looking at him but I could hear it. He started to tear up. I could hear the tightness in his throat, the strain on his voice.

"And-" He stuttered.

"And do you know what the worst part is?"

I don't.

I should. I feel like I should. But I shouldn't. I couldn't. I didn't want to know. Or did I?

🎶 "You do"

"What's the worst part Logan?"

"They did it right in front of me. Right in fuckin front of me!" He lurched forward and slashed one of the trees, causing it to fall in threes.

He panted. Growled. Boiled with rage that set the ground alight in metaphorical fire. Raging flames, like wildfire. Upset and grief that acted fuel.

"It's not your fault, logan" I said softly

"BUT IT IS!" He yelled back at me.

He put his claws away and sighed, looking away for a moment to catch his breath "I'm sorry"

"It's alright" I replied

Logan rubbed his face "Let's call it a truce. I swear I won't try to turn you into shredded meat again" he held out his hand.

"Sure. No shredded meat" I put my hand in his, shaking it.

They were fucking hairy and calloused. And heavy. Maybe the world's manliest hands. And veiniest. Fuck what am I doing?

"No shredded meat" he repeated

And we both laughed

[enderwoah]

im so unwell about q!pac no its not even funny anymore i need to put him in a terrarium up on a shelf and keep him safe up there. he doesn't deserve any bad thing, ever. i don't even care about "having a good story" or "giving your character a conflict" anymore, nah, no, if ONE (1) MORE BAD THING HAPPENS TO HIM IM GONNA LOSE IT!! IM GONNA START BREAKING THINGS!!!

he's so. sad. hes such a sad character. his insecurities about being useless to everyone are so real and so painful because he's not, all of us know that he's not, but we also completely understand why he feels that way because he's had everyone he loves ripped away from him and he hasn't been able to lift a finger to stop any of it. he's just left to sit in the ruins without any help. he's collateral to all the tragedy surrounding him and the favela 5 in general and he's. tired. not in the way that cellbit is tired (though that works, too). he's exhausted of feeling sad all the time. of crying all the time. of feeling that loneliness that gnaws holes into his bones and settles in the marrow and never leaves, not when richas' bed is empty, not when mike's bedroom has started to collect dust, not when he can't see a real, tangible presence in forever's dilated eyes. the only person he has is cellbit, and he could never ask cellbit to give up what he still has when pac has nothing to lose (and god, how selfless, how kind is that?), so when he figures the only way to get an antidote to the drug is to have the drug itself, why wouldn't he offer himself up? and if that wasn't the only reason he tried to get his hands on it, who could blame him?

maybe he took it first to just feel the effects and understand the angle it took in affecting his mind. maybe he just took it for research. do you think he had slipped by the second time? do you think he took it once and, for a short thirty minutes, found that he could forget about all the sorrow lining his lungs and breathe? do you think reality crashed back onto him after that first try? do you think he was scrambling to take it again, to go back to that...maybe it wasn't blissful ignorance, per se, but willful disregard? do you think he couldn't wait to be submerged so deep that he couldn't think one more time? do you think he was hesitant? do you think he kept promising himself, one more, one more, one more...

god he is so. so sad. i was watching phil's pov, so everything was like a neat little movie for me, and just. cellbit and forever arguing while pac was just sobbing in the background was AWFUL. just. awful. it hurt. (cc!pac was damn good at acting, too, and that DID NOT HELP.) the moment he stepped on the trap i felt like i was hit with a brick. like no, of COURSE we should NOT be putting PAC in a CONFINED JAIL CELL. ALONE. and i know it was for his own good but i still felt so so so sick. the way he immediately curled up in the corner. the way he was crying to himself. the way he instantly answered richas' birthday the moment bad asked for it. the way he got visibly more upset and terrified when cellbit started shouting at forever. what the hell. no seriously what the HELL.

and, like, oh my god, making him the one to solve the antidote? proving that even though he may have fallen to the drug (the drug which was basically created by GODS, by the way, lets be real, the federation is nawt normal), he's still so useful. he's still such an asset. he's smart and he's kind and he's charismatic and he's trusting and he's so so selfless and so so brave and so strong. tubbo put it perfectly. the fact that he's gone through all the horrible awful stuff he's gone through and he's still standing just proves how capable he is. how tough he is. cellbit calling him "my dear." pointing out the fact that he sacrificed himself without knowing he was going to come back. "i'm only afraid of being sad again." "you will be sad again. but you won't be alone." he's so. he's just. he's. im frothing at the mouth. he gave himself up to save the rest of the island from this plague that took one of his best friends and might've taken the entire island if he didn't do anything. under that stress. experiencing that level of loss.

pac is one of the toughest goddamn people on the island and if anyone on that server even dares try to imply otherwise i will do heinous heinous things, mark my WORDS.