#he doesn’t realize something is amiss until they’re several months into the war

[simpfornegan]

i am a child of divorce.

[mayonnaisetoffees]

Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

AU

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

[acourtofsadnessanddespair]

all the proof i could muster up that nesta and cassian are mates

 With just little over a month until A Court of Silver Flames comes out, I decided to set the fact straight that Nesta and Cassian are mates and we simply cannot ignore the evidence anymore. 

1. First Meeting

There’s actually not that much evidence here, but there is a lot of banter between the two and throughout the dinner, Cassian constantly is grinning and trying to rile Nesta up. One line states: “Cassian was sizing up Nesta, a gleam in his eyes that I could only interpret as a warrior finding himself faced with a new, interesting opponent.” He then continues staring at her pretty much through the entire meal, only taking his eyes off her to nod agreement. They also “have it out” the next morning. Of course this is in no way an indication that they our mates, however I would like to remind you that a certain other mated couple started off with the slight enemies-to-lovers scenario. 

2. The Bonus Scene

Chile... there’s a lot to unpack here. Cassian describes Nesta’s face as unnervingly perfect, and talks about her build and, uh, the certain parts that he “doesn’t look at. Much.” When he leans close to her, her scent “hits him in the gut so hard he could barely focus.” Which is a little suspicious and mate-y to me (as mate-y as a human and Illyrian can be I suppose, however Rhys knew he was mates with Feyre when she was human, and Feyre becoming Fae heightened it, which we will go back to later). When Cassian finds out what Tomas tried to do Nesta (or senses the fear), he immediately wants to kill him, without knowing pretty much anything, except that someone had hurt Nesta. His Nesta. He also says, “It’d make me hunt them down and shatter every bone in their body.” Then he tries to cover it up, saying he’d do it for anybody (which he would, but still). Nesta admits that she feels things, sometimes more than anyone else and Cassian had seen those things and had seen her, “...he’d looked at her- not at the face and human body that men marked, but her- and had seen it all.” She then says that this made her want to hurt him, so he wouldn’t tell everyone. When Nesta tips up her neck, every instinct in Cassian’s body came “roaring to the surface, so violent he had to choke them with a brutal grip...” Then he once again says something about her scent and what it does to him; “Cassian breathed in the smell of her into his lungs...as it latched onto some intrinsic part of him and sank its talons deep.” And that just sounds so mate-y to mean, like her scent latched onto him??? He then brings the topic around to Mor who he had slept with prior and had some degree of romantic feelings for, and says that even though she did not care about the lovers her had, he did not want to tell her about Nesta. And when he returns to Velaris, he refuses to go back alone again. 

3. The Promise

After the queen’s refuse to give Feyre the book, Nesta stands up to them and begs the queens to help. Cassian then makes a promise to Nesta; “...I will stand on that battlefield again, Nesta Archeron, to protect this house- your people. I can think of no better way to end my existence than to defend those who need it.” He then wipes away her tears and Nesta lets him do it. This promise remains important in a Court of Wings and Ruin, as Cassian is regretful and takes part blame for her becoming Fae in Hybern, despite him not being able to stop it as his wings were shredded. “I made her a promise. And when it mattered I didn’t keep it.”

4. Hybern

As Nesta is being put into the Cauldron, Cassian begins moving on the ground, despite his bloody, shredded wings. He stirs again when she begins screaming and tries to move his hands towards her. “At Nesta’s shouts, her raging, his eyes fluttered open, glazed and unseeing, an answer to some call in his blood, a promise he’d made her.” I mean, come on... That literally sounds like there mates I-... Not to mention, Cassian tries reaching for her again when she is sobbing for Elain. 

5. The House of Wind

Even before entering where Nesta was sitting, Feyre noticed that Cassian was tense. When Feyre notices how devastatingly beautiful Nesta, she wonders if Cassian also feels the same as he stiffens beside her. We then also see more of that banter from a Court of Mist and Fury (mainly from Cassian, but still). Cassian then says that he goes up to the House of Wind often because it is good exercise for his wings (more like a good excuse to see Nesta). He also says that he is going to kill the King of Hybern (just as he said he would kill Tomas). When he is flying Feyre to the House of Wind, she asks why he bothers and he says “Because I can’t stay away.” (Which gives me MATE vibes)  And as Nesta arrives in her dress, Feyre narrates that Cassian looks as though he had been punched in the gut. 

6. I don’t know what to call this segment but still... MATES

After Nesta is flown to the town house by Rhys she is extremely mad and only Cassian, it seems, is game enough to calm her down and get the fire out of her eyes. When Amren is telling her story, Cassian moves himself closer to Nesta and then signals her to stand behind him, willing to protect her if something goes wrong. After it is realized that there is no threat, Nesta moves from behind Cassian, but not away, to his side. After Hybern attacks the library, Rhys lets Feyre into his mind to see what Cassian had shown him, from his point of view. In the memory, when Nesta comes stumbling out and sees Cassian. “...her fear a tang that whetted his rage into something so sharp he could barely think, barely breath-” And this just feels mate-y and reminds me of how Rhys when Tamlin destroyed the study, or even after the attack when he was still enraged. He also calls her body slim and beautiful as she grips his arms. 

7. Battle of Adriata

When the others return from the Summer Court, Nesta demands to know where Cassian is and actually says his name, which was Feyre’s first time hearing it from her. She was also pacing as she waited for them to return. However, when Amren offers mild support, she simply says “I don’t care.” 

8. The High Lord Meeting 

When Nesta appears down the stairs, Cassian ignores her for the most part. And when she announces she is going with them, she makes sure to ignore his approving gaze. Nesta and Cassian then are set to winnow out together and there is a bit of banter and then Nesta says “You didn’t come to-” and cuts herself off (And I’d just like to know what he didn’t go to, THAT IS ALL I WANT IN LIFE PLEASE SARAH). Cassian then interlaces their fingers and their gazes do not leave each other’s faces and then he says, “The next time, Emissary, I’ll come say hello.” (Swoon) Nesta stands up for Cassian after Beron insults him at the meeting, and Cassian just looks at her “like he’d never seen her before.” When Nesta feels something amiss and calls for Feyre, Cassian also comes in assessing if she is okay and looking at every inch of her. Feyre also asks Rhys if the two are mates and he said he didn’t know and that the bond would have to snap into place (SUSPICIOUS)  And when Nesta begins vomiting was the first one there holding her back and monitoring her. 

9. Not really any proof

...But when he tells Nesta she’d start a riot if she wore pants and trains her, I- yes.

10. The War

While Nesta is working around the camp she listens intently to any talk of Cassian and when Cassian returns to the camp with a sprained wrist, Nesta somehow notices immediately without anyone else noticing. She ties it up and they hold hands, then Mor interrupts and Cassian drops her hand, Nesta just looked at her hand and then disappeared to her tent. As the battle is happening, Nesta only concentrates on Cassian and is terrified when he is about to be hurt, and when Feyre leaves she barely takes her attention of him. Nesta is found standing outside of the tent Cassian is staying in after he is injured, but then after a confrontation with Mor. As Nesta is helping find the Cauldron, Cassian stands with her, his hand on her back and comforts her and reminds her that nothing can hurt her there. During the final battle, Nesta was still monitoring where Cassian was, and when she saw where the Cauldron’s power was gonna be used, she only roared for Cassian and didn’t alarm the several others in its path. He then decides to get off the battlefield and go with her to kill the king.

11. THAT SCENE

Cassian is beaten severely by the king and when Nesta sees what he has done, she becomes a predator. “I am going to kill you.” Which is similar and in parallel to when Cassian wanted to kill who had hurt her. And after she has used her power, she ignores Cassian’s pleas to run and instead tries to keep killing the king. And when she goes down, Cassian tries to reach for her like he did all those months ago in Hybern. And when he tells her to go she says she can’t. Cassian grabs her face and tries saying goodbye; “I have no regrets in my life, but this. That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.” And she doesn’t stop him as he kisses her (KISSES HER OMFG). “I will find you again in the next world - the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.” She doesn’t leave she just covers his body with her own. Willing to die with her lover or her mate? Because she cannot live without him?

Post War

Nesta does not visit Cassian on his sick bed and their relationship once again becomes tight and tense. Cassian tries not to think about her and Nesta becomes closed off. On Solstice, he tries giving her a present which had taken him months to find and she declines (that made me so mad), but he still follows her home. In the sneak peak, he admits that even though she is too thin he finds her “mouthwatering” and he doesn’t care about the males she sleeps with. The males, however, are sometimes afraid to sleep with Nesta because of Cassian, because of what happened in the war (or maybe they’re afraid because they’re mates, just saying).

In conclusion, 

Nesta and Cassian are mates. Sarah, you ain’t slick, we know. And if they do not confess their love in the next book I will cry. Actually a lot of this isn’t evidence just rehashing but... meh.

[theladyfangs]

Reflections/ The Other Part 14: The End.

 Stray Thoughts: Katrina/Lorca/Michael

“You chose to do the right thing over what was sanctioned. Even at great cost to yourself…context is for kings…”  (But what’s a king without a queen?).

“That’s the kind of thinking I need next to me.”

.

.

Katrina is the only woman Lorca ever loved…

Michael is the only woman Gabriel ever loved…

.

“The truth is, you’re not the man I used to know.”

“I watched you change these last months, it’s upsetting. And it’s definitely not how it used to be.”

.

.

“I did want to thank you, sir.”

“I’m grateful to serve under a captain like you.”

See Through Me (A Song for You)

The war is over.

Katrina walks the now-familiar path to the observation deck, two lifts and another corridor. A left.

Room 2-1-1-2.

“She’s not come out since he left,” Saru speaks softly.

The admiral nods. “It’s all right.”

“The override has been…changed,” he tells her. “Specialist Burnham has it programmed on an alternating frequency….”

“I understand, Commander. I’ll take care of it from here. Thank you.”

He nods and departs. In front of the door, Katrina straightens her uniform.

She wonders how well she knows Michael Burnham.  She’s about to find out.

Her hand passes over the biometric scanner and Cornwell waits as the doors whir, then open into darkness.

She steps through.

Command overrides changed, indeed. But Michael did allow for one person to find her.

The space remains neat. Did she expect something different? Perhaps, from what she had been told. But no. Nothing is amiss. And yet…it feels different.

They’ve been here before.

In front of her, Michael Burnham stands, facing the window in her dress uniform.

“Admiral.”

“Specialist.”

Katrina comes to stand beside her.

“Will it ever stop?” Michael says, gently stroking the large bundle of fur in her arms.

Katrina knows what she’s asking. And it hurts her to have to tell Michael the truth.

“It hasn’t yet, for me.”

Only then does Michael turn to her, and when she looks at the younger woman, she feels her heart break for her. For them both.

But she swore to Gabriel that she would take care of Michael. And her role now is not of an admiral but of a friend—a mentor, someone who has been there before.

“It will be okay,” she tries, but Michael shakes her head.

“That’s what he said, too.”

Katrina wants to tell her, but can’t. It’s classified. Above top secret. Even now, Starfleet is working on erasing Gabriel Lorca.

“Come,” she says instead. “The memorial service is starting.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“You must, Commander.”

Commander.

It still feels odd to hear the word. She’s gotten accustomed to “Specialist.” The pardon was delivered a week ago. Saru made it official for her with a ceremony before the crew.

It rang hollow at the time.

It still does now. She’d rather still be “Specialist” if it meant Gabriel Lorca was still alive.

“We should have listened to you,” Katrina says softly. “I want to apologize to you personally.”

Because if they had, then Gabriel Lorca would still be here.

If they had, the universe would still be the same.

But because they did not, “the face of all the world is changed.”

   Will You Take My Hand?

The order came down from Admiral Cornwell, reaching Commander Burnham at her post on the U.S.S. Discovery. There’s not really a directive, but a location—she’s being sent to Starbase 69.

“Are you looking forward to vacation, Commander?” the pilot asks, as they cut the thrusters and make their final approach to the starbase. Through the viewport, Burnham sees rotating twin spheres moving in opposite directions, at either end of a wide cylinder, making the station look like a barbell in space. It’s an older one, designed some 100 years ago but still functional and mostly used these days for tourists. There are some fleet personnel but not many, so it is understandable to Michael why her pilot would ask.

“I am,” she says measuredly, “but not today.”

The shuttle coasts into space dock, joining hundreds of others in traffic moving in and out of the cylinder, a city humming with activity. A connecting gangway emerges from one of the many ports and latches onto the craft. There’s a hiss, and the pilot cuts off the engines.

“Pressurization complete”, the computer says. Michael stands and gathers the small case she’s brought with her. Two changes of clothes, and a PADD. The admiral had been mum about the purpose of this visit and so, in caution, Michael had packed a set of civilian clothes and a fresh uniform.

“Thank you,” she nods to the pilot and leaves as soon as the shuttle doors open to the gangway.

Most of Starfleet’s space stations have similar layouts and if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen most. She’s been directed to a room, number 8807, likely somewhere in the upper orb. The station is crowded with beings, loud and noisy—and for a moment, she feels disconcerted by the sudden barrage of sound, having spent most of the year in the quiet routine of service on a starship. Here, there is no routine as beings brush past, back and forth, children holler, merchants attempt to sell their wares …so much…activity. The station is large, but feels claustrophobic—and she realizes after being bumped hard from behind, that she’s standing in the main port.

Michael gets her bearings and begins to move toward the series of lifts she sees going up and down between the spheres.

It’s several minutes before she’s able to get into one with more than two dozen others, and after what feels like an eternity, she finally reaches level 88. By now, she’s the only one left and she steps out and into a corridor that is blessedly empty. And silent.

Doors align either side of the walls and she walks down, looking for the one that ends in -07.

Finally.

The ID numbers are entered quickly, and she’s already thinking that the first thing she wants is a long, hot shower followed by warm tea. Possibly with a little bit of rum in it. Maybe she’s inherited some of Lorca’s habits.

Not a day has gone by that she hasn’t thought of him. His smell. His touch and taste. The way he laughed. The way he yelled. The way he held her, the way they loved together. Made love together.

She misses him.

Even now, she wonders if there was something she could have done to change his mind. If there was another way to end the war that didn’t require his sacrifice. Michael has loved two Gabriel Lorcas and has been forced to watch both die. Sometimes, she feels it’s all her fault. It is irrational. Gabriel made his choice. They both did.

There have been many nights when her dreams felt so real that she’s woken up with dried tears on her face. Or, even worse, her body still humming from an orgasm.

Perhaps she will skip the tea. And go straight to a small (very small) taste of bourbon. It is an acquired taste, one she didn’t acquire until after Gabriel was gone.

With a sigh, she opens the doors to the room and steps inside, but as soon as she turns on the lights, she gasps, and the bag falls out of her hand.

Michael’s heart begins to race, her hands tremble and she cannot believe that what she’s seeing is real. It can’t be. This must be yet another cruel joke. Some strange machination of the mind. Her heart cannot take anymore…

“Hello, Michael.”

Gabriel turns to face her, from where he’s been standing in front of the window. He’s dressed in a fleet uniform, but it’s black, not blue, the gold trim silver, his insignia silver as well. There’s a new pip. A new rank on it. Commodore.

He steps toward her, but she steps back, unsure, disbelieving because, how?

“I saw you die,” she whispers. “I saw you…dead.”

He goes to her, seeing the shock and terror on her face, fear as well. Not of him, but of whether he’s real.

“I’m here,” Lorca says gently, taking one of Michael’s hands into his, bringing it to his lips, and kissing it.

She feels the warmth of his touch, the texture of his mouth on her skin, and shudders.

“But…how?”

Lorca doesn’t answer immediately. Instead he pulls her close and slips an arm around her body to allow her to feel him, to reassure her that he is very much alive, very much not dead.

Solid. She reaches up to touch him. Her fingers tracing his eyes, his nose, lips, jaw, chin. She runs her hands down his chest, places her head there, to hear his heart—strong, steady. All of him—solid. Physical. She knows he’s a soldier at heart. An office would never suit him. It feels fitting, that he would go to Special Ops—to Section 31, the side of Starfleet that technically doesn’t exist, except in quiet whispers, and myth.

Lorca looks down into her face, into her eyes, and he smiles at her, wistfully. Hopefully.

“I’m sorry, love. We had to end the war.”

“If you had told me…”

But he shakes his head. “No. You’d have wanted to go too. And I love you too much to let you sacrifice yourself for them…”

He’s speaking of Starfleet. “Them” is said bitingly, and whatever doubt remains about whether he is who he says he is, goes. Her arms wrap around his waist and she hugs him tightly.

“Please stay,” she says. “Don’t go. Don’t leave me again.”

He squeezes her back, saying nothing at the moment, just holding her like this, feeling her warmth, her softness and her strength.

“Kiss me.”

She does, fingers snaking around his shoulders again, and he deepens it, wanting to be closer to her, closer than clothes will allow.

She knows.

Knows when he turns their bodies and backs her up to the bed, then lays her down on it to begin removing her shoes, her jacket, pants, shirt. Bra. Panties, everything, until her body is bare before him, and his eyes devour her, as he stands to take off his clothes.

She welcomes him into her embrace. They moan together as he enters her body, her legs and hips rise to meet him, arms wrap around his neck and back and pulling him down and in—closer.

Lips touch.

They’re both hungry for it.

Starved for it and each other.

No words are needed. Their bodies know this language.

This is their promise. The commitment to always find each other, no matter where in the galaxy they are.

“I love you,” she says. The words she should have said nine months ago.

.

.

“How did you know I would be here?” She asks afterwards, snuggled into his shoulder, fingers dancing across his abdomen.

He turns his head and lips graze her forehead.

“I sent for you. Kat made it happen for us.”

“You?”

At that, he feels her head lift and opens his eyes. Pretty brown ones look down at him.

“Yes.”

“Where have you been?”

“I’ve been…” Should he tell her? What he’s really been doing? Cleaning up the last of it—chasing the not-so-compliant Klingon ships out of Federation territory, simply destroying the ones that remain? Finishing up the dirty business of war?

“Section 31,” he says, seeing if she knows what that is.

Her eyes go wider. She does know. The daughter of a Federation ambassador would definitely know.

“I…didn’t think that was real.”

“Very real.” He says.

“The war decimated all our ranks. Section 31 was no exception. They needed a new leader. I’m not Captain anymore. Commodore.”

Michael mulls it over. “Rules are for admirals in back offices,” she says.

An eyebrow. “Huh?”

She smiles and kisses him on the lips. “You’ve said that, before.”

“I know I said that to Katrina at one point.”

“You said that to me, too.”

And he knows it’s something the other him must have said at some point.

Lorca smiles a moment too, then takes her hand in his, looking at her. She lays her head back down on his chest.

He weighs whether to ask her to join him. It’s the reason he called her here. Because this past year of separation, of allowing Michael to believe he was dead, and to just watch her from a distance has been worse than his time in the alternate universe. But now, seeing her, feeling her, he knows he can’t do it. Because while Lorca is a jaded man, somehow, Michael is still a believer. It is tempered now, by experience—but she still has her ideals. Her loyalty. He’s loyal too—but it’s not the same thing.

Katrina, bless her, has kept him informed of how Michael was faring. And he knows that at first—it was hard for them both. Hard for the admiral to watch Michael suffer her sadness in silence. And hard for Katrina to allow her stay that way.

“She feels like I did when I thought you were gone,” Trina told him late one night, over the comm system. They were sharing a drink – at opposite sides of the sector.

“I can’t blame her. Even now, sometimes…” she’d drifted off and he’d gone quiet, understanding. “So, I got the paperwork from the realtor,” she switched abruptly. “You should have it too. We can --”

But he’d stopped her.

“It’s your house, ‘Trina. What you always wanted and where you wanted it. I want you to have it, and enjoy it. You deserve it. Hell, you earned it for everything you put up with from me.”

It got a genuine grin. “You and Michael are welcome to visit, if we ever get to see what retirement looks like.”

They’d both laughed, and toasted to that one. In his new position, there was no such thing. And Katrina had been promoted to Vice Admiral. They’d basically been fooling themselves back then into thinking they’d ever give it up.

 “I wanted to ask you to join me, to come with me,” Lorca tells Michael. “But I know you will say no.”

She opens her mouth to speak, but he silences it with a kiss.

“Let me finish?”

She nods.

“Neither of us are the type to settle down. We both belong out here,” he gestures to the window. “We know that, right?”

“Yes.”

He snuggles her.

“It’s up to you, love. If you call me, I will come. I don’t care how far, no matter the circumstance. But I also don’t want you tied to me, or for you to feel like you’re trapped. This, what I do—it has consequences. It has sacrifices. But you’re not responsible for the choices I make.”

She shifts against him, a smooth leg rubbing against his as she contemplates it.

“I wonder if he ever found her,” she muses.

Lorca knows what she’s asking. About Gabriel. About Gabriel’s lost Michael. About where they are, what became of them. Whether they found each other. Found happiness. Found peace. Whether such a thing is even possible when life, and the after-life, are chaos.

“I don’t know,” he tells her, voice choked by the emotion that wells up inside them both, catching them off-guard. Michael buries her face in Lorca’s chest as he squeezes her tight, unable to bear the thought of having to let her go again, of the very real possibility that she’s not his, not meant for him to have, that he will lose her as Gabriel lost his Michael, of being alone. Dying alone.

All they have is today. For now, that will have to be enough.

                                                         -END-

[missixo]

St Balderich Slays the Dragon [8/19]

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 (on tumblr)

This fic (on AO3)

Pairing: Balderich/Mondatta

Summary:  The humans are right to fear omnics and what they can do. What he can and will do to humanity. He is Jörmungandr, and he will see humanity fall.

St Balderich Slays the Dragon

Chapter 8

MD catches up with Broom more after returning to his office, settling into his new chair that they stole out of a storage room. They shrug and wave off his concerns. “It was collecting dust, figured none of the doctors would miss it.”

He laughs and nudges over the examination stool, an invitation for his friend to sit down. “I fully appreciate your pragmatism in this, I promise. Have you been able to find the part for Ozzie’s foot yet? You must be able to afford it by now, even on an omnic supervisor’s pay.” The thoughts of how little he and other omnics make compared to human counterparts almost sour his mood, but he chooses not to focus on it - for the moment. ‘Pay gaps won’t be an issue too much longer if I get my way.’

They take the seat with a small sigh from their vents, relaxing worn pistons and joints after two days on shift. “Still hunting. It’s a delicate part, and she’s an older model, so even the knock-offs are pricey. I’m looking at other options at this point; can’t get much more expensive than it is now.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Let me know if you need anything; I’m not the greatest at holding on to cash at the moment, but I’ve still got something in the bank.”

After Broom and his team are gone, MD spends the next two days getting settled in, putting his personal effects where he wants them, and in general rearranging the room as equipment is brought in. Each piece shrinks the space further and further, until it’s down to something he feels he can manage. It becomes a little cramped if any three Crusaders try to come in at once, but the limitation only makes it more his space and less open to invasion.

***

Miracle of miracles, Balderich gets no complaints about the new medic for a whole three days after the... memorable introduction. Of course, the first complaint he hears isn’t official by any means, simple lunchtime conversation, but that doesn’t make him any less concerned when he hears Andrea further down the table, rubbing his arm where a small bruise is blooming around an injection site.

“It’s got all the charm you’d expect from an omnic. I don’t sit perfectly still, and the thing sees fit to hold me down like an unruly child!”

It. Thing. A small slip, but massive for the implications. The words immediately reduce the omnic to lesser - something hardly worth anything, disposable and entirely replaceable without note. Balderich grits his teeth. He requested the omnic because he has a personality; it’s not the best one by a long shot - he’s so far prickly on a good day, and Balderich doubts they’ve seen a bad day yet.

“Andrea, a moment with me?” He makes a beckoning gesture.

“Yes sir.” The Italian is clearly confused, but follows him outside the mess hall. “Sir?”

Balderich speaks low, knowing this is not going to be well received, more so than censure usually is. “I know you are not particularly fond of omnics, but please. He is your medic, not a toaster, and not one of those rust buckets that try to shoot us. I know he is not the most pleasant individual, but that does speak to his individuality. He has an identity, and I am asking you to respect that. Are we clear?”

Andrea swallows, looking like he just sucked a lemon. “Yessir. May I be dismissed, sir? I would like to finish my lunch while it’s still warm.”

“Dismissed.” He follows Andrea after a minute, intent on finishing his own lunch even though his appetite is suddenly gone.

***

MD hits the BX for some rags and cleaner so he won’t have to constantly bother Broom and his crew for basic cleaning, but when he gets there he realizes he still needs a decent set of curtains for the windows and a privacy sheet for his cot… The space is rather plain at the moment… A new plant wouldn’t go amiss either.

He stops himself at the curtains and sheet, plus three small plants, and some cord to make a hanging planter. So much for money management there.

***

Jörmungandr checks his security feed for the fourth time in twenty-four hours the next day between patient check-ups. There has to be a way he can get back inside without having to walk through the middle of the hospital. He’s just missing something… He wasn’t necessarily close to getting to the fifth floor yet, even when he was outright living at the hospital, but now it’s so much harder with the fact he has to get in the damn building in the first place.

He’s just starting to look for other points of ingress when MD’s next patient comes in to review his medical file and he has to back out of the feed again. Back to updating medications, taking blood samples, and scheduling booster shots. Code-rotting boredom is what this job is.

***

Two days after he tempts fate once again - ‘I really need to stop doing that.’ - MD is woken by an alert on his HUD and banging on the medbay door accompanied by shouting. He pulls up the notice before he reaches the door and freezes, standing in the middle of the room.

THE CRUSADERS’ BARRACKS NOW UNDER QUARANTINE DUE TO POTENTIAL H3N2 FLU OUTBREAK.

ALL CRUSADERS ARE TO REPORT TO MEDICAL UNIT MD-8178 FOR EVALUATION AND RISK ASSESSMENT.

QUARANTINE WILL REMAIN ACTIVE UNTIL MEDICAL UNIT MD-8178 DECLARES RISK OF INFECTION SPREADING: NEGLIGIBLE.

… He just woke up. But he opens the door and tries to talk over them - difficult enough when they’re all calm - getting progressively louder, “If you would all get in a single file line, I will run the assessments as quickly as - I need you all to quiet - Just get in a line and -”

Ok. He’s not putting up with this, his day is starting great enough already. He ramps up the volume and gives them a lovely feedback shriek for a perfect five seconds. Next, a moment to let their ears stop ringing... “Get in a single file line and I’ll figure out which of you were dumb enough to get sick and bring this quarantine down on all of us. When your exam is complete, go wait in your quarters until I issue the results. No one is to be wandering the corridors during this time. You get caught, you go on report, and you will get caught.”

***

As he takes temperatures and checks for other symptoms, he revisits Hell Week and wants to strangle the omnic of almost three months ago. He’s still catching the fallout, unbelievable. Most of the organic bastions keep quiet, and he does end up checking that no one has any ruptured eardrums. An airhorn might have been kinder, but convenience and hindsight and all that. One or two still give him nasty looks - particularly that Italian - but there are witnesses so he counts himself safe enough.

He saves Balderich for last. “Colonel, provided you are not one of the possibly-infected, I think I will bring the list to you in your quarters and have you inform the men about who will be under stricter quarantines.”

He looks at him oddly. “Any particular reason why?”

“Because I need them as cooperative as possible, and they will take the idea of being confined to quarters for several days much better if it isn’t coming from an… from me. Turn your head, I need to check your eardrums.”

Balderich watches the omnic out of the corner of his eye. “... You are scared of us.”

MD hums, a note of ‘duh’ tucked in the sound. “I am am omnic living surrounded by men whose careers boil down to destroying omnics. I understand one phrase for such a situation is ‘sleeping in the lions’ den.’ Your eardrums appear to be undamaged, send me a note if you notice any sudden changes in balance, or a ringing in your ears, and I’ll come check on you in quarters.” MD turns away to dispose of the cap on the otoscope when a hot, heavy hand wraps tight around his forearm.

An automatic response to unexpected restraint kicks in and curls his fists tight, otoscope creaking under the pressure. His head swings around, looking for the delicate bone at the temple as his target. Balderich is just sitting there, relaxed except for the hold on his arm. MD warily lowers his unrestrained hand and drops the now destroyed tool in the bin with a hollow clank of metal on plastic. “Colonel, what exactly are you playing at?”

“This is why I requested you for our medic.”

“What? Why?” Requested him? Because he’s willing to crush his skull under threat?

The insane human has the audacity to shrug at him. “You don’t respond like most of the omnics on base. You have personality. What you just did in response to my actions is very similar to what a human would do.”

‘Well that’s just rude.’

“I requested you because I am worried my men are forgetting that - while they are, yes, protecting humanity - we are fighting for our way of life, which includes omnics like you. Some of them have come to think that all omnics should be destroyed, for safety, but if we did that every time part of a group became a threat to the world, most of my men’s grandparents would never have been born, after the Wars over a century ago. We would be in eastern France or western Poland right now - maybe even southern Denmark - instead. I understand that you are scared, but please do not let it stifle you.”

They sit there for a few minutes, looking at each other, evaluating. MD slowly relaxes his other fist in Balderich’s grip as fans kick on and a few small vents pop open. Balderich is watching the light from the window play on pale metal when the omnic lets out a strange sound - ‘Was that a squeak?’ - as he finally responds, rushed, “Thank you, Colonel, but I need to get these results together. I’ll bring them by your quarters later.”

He’s very quickly ushered - pushed, really - out and the door shuts behind him, the tint on the inset window going totally opaque. He stares at the probably-locked door, stunned, as he mutters to himself, “What just happened there?”