#he doesn’t like being a servant but sakura reminds him a little too much of everything he stands for and cares about

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

niku put . forbidden thoughts in my brain

[bonmotx]

THE EXPLANATION OF IDENTITY - KAMA

Kama’s usage of pronouns differs on which manifestation she is under, and likewise, she uses different names as a different ‘application’ of her divinity. Gods have many names, and each is a different aspect, thus, Kama similarly will behave and associate different pronouns and with different names. They aren’t different identities; they’re more like roles.

To a being like Kama, pronouns are more a feeling than a manifestation of gender. For reference and simplicity, within each short description, ‘Kama’ is the accepted nickname for the ‘current’ Kama as she presents in Chaldea.

As a general rule of thumb, Kama defaults to she/her with names associated with her pre-burning, and defaults to he/him with names associated with her post-burning. They/them is the generally used default if Kama’s mood or manifestation is uncertain.

Kama themself typically has little preference or thought about pronouns used or at what times they are used. He would expect the Indian servants to use he/him but it’s more because he presented primarily using he/him in the past. Kama when holding a preference will generally only speak it to people who’s opinions matter, or, as is typical, as a way of snarking at people. Her pronouns and gender are far more unimportant to her, personally, than which name is used for her.

Swapping pronouns mid-thread is going to be avoided unless talked about or obviously relevant. When it occurs it will be marked by Kama’s pronouns being capitalized as She/They/Him for simplicity, as I know it can cause confusion. In posts or drabble scenes with him alone, however, these differences will will not be marked such.

Kamadeva

any pronoun

means “god of love”, but the root kama- can be read to make it mean more “god of desire”

One of the primary names Kama goes by and the most recognizable and used. Kamadeva is a distancing mechanism, one that separates the god from the mortals and separates the reluctant god from the ‘other’ ones. It’s a simple name, despite the weight it carries. It reminds him of his duties.

Enforcing it is a conscious distancing mechanism. Kamadeva means distance. Thus, it is generally used by her to try to cut off attachments. Kamadeva has many stars, yet few glow bright.

Mara

any pronoun

derived from the root mṛ meaning ‘causing death’ or ‘killing’.

While there are four Mara’s, Kama as Mara is specifically Devaputra-māra, the Mara of the sexual realm of desire. As  “the personification of the forces antagonistic to enlightenment”, Mara is a force that is more Beast than God, one who seeks not the destruction of humanity, but the soiling of them. She wishes to root them in eternal pleasure and thus eternal lamentation that they will never find enlightenment.

Calling Kama by this name… should be restricted towards the Beast III/L portion of them, lest results become undesirable. Their stars turn much closer to typical ‘fire’ and their body warms to a fever.

Madana

generally he/him

means “intoxicating”

The name used in the Madana-bhasma, where Kama is incinerated by Shiva for shooting him with an arrow of desire. This is his most loathed name as a result, and Madana will react with rage and terror to anyone insisting upon it. In addition, before those associated with Shiva, Madana is the first name he thinks to refer to himself with. It is a loathed name.

A more pink-hued galaxy, with almost rosy fingertips, like his arrows stained him, pink petals perpetually presented forth. Even his flames are almost innocent, almost beautiful.

Ananga

generally she/her

means “incorporeal”

Despite having a heavy amount of emphasis in Kama’s current manifestation, this one is her least favorite. Everything feels more sensitive as Ananga, her nerves on fire. Ananga is a result, an effect, more than a person. Kama becomes Ananga, becomes nothing, and thus as Ananga, is not anything but the remnant pain.

When referred to with this name, she feels far more hollow. The stars in her limbs glow brightest under this name.

Manmatha

generally he/him

means “one who agitates” or “churner of heart”

A name that Kama ties to his obligations as a love god, and thus, he spurns this name quite often. Manmatha is the one with the most ready arrows of all his names. If it must be used, it is to ‘agitate’ in the worst way, to cause trouble and misery, but…

…Manmatha was originally a fond watcher of the results of love and desire. The stars in his limbs now resemble petals and stir about in the breeze.

Atanu

generally she/her

means “one without a body”

Another name which refers to Kama’s state after Shiva’s incineration of her. Atanu is more specific than Ananga, and as such, Atanu tends to be rather see-through. Having a body is antithetical to her existence as specifically one without a body.

Atanu generally has the most transparent limbs of Kama’s manifestations, brighter around the end of the limbs, and is warmer on these parts of her body like a coal.

Ragavrinta

generally they/them

means “stalk of passion”

A neutral name that does not affect them much. They say that, but it brings a sort of confidence to hear themself called Ragavrinta. Images of dancing, the metaphorical stalk of passion. Of a time without pain, a time enveloped of love. A title that carries happiness and bitter nostalgia.

Stars collect within Ragavrinta’s feet more than any other place, dancing up their legs in odd patterns, leaving large gaps of empty space.

Ratikānta

any pronoun

means “lord of Rati”

The name of a husband, of one who was married and loving. (They miss her. They are the universe, they cannot be separated from the air, yet even though they are still living, she must pay respects, because they could not wipe away her tears.)

One whose limbs pool in the joints with stars, more abundant, like the desert, free of light, revealing the entirety of the Milky Way that human eyes can see. Beautiful in love, in lack of light allowing it to truly be perceived.

Manasija

generally he/him

means “born of mind”

A simple recognition of the circumstances of Kama’s birth. Not born from a womb, or even modelled from clay. Simply the personification of being created from the concept of thought. There is no real attachment, just an assertion of the simple fact that there is no family for Manasija.

(There is, however, family for Kama, family for the pieces of ash that were put in a human, and that is what makes Manasija have stars at all. That family that is not quite his, yet not not his, is the only presence that makes the space in his limbs have any life at all.)

Pushpavān

generally he/him or she/her

means “possessing Flowers” or “perfume”

Another of Kama’s past names, but he holds more fondness for this one. He would never ask to be called it, but as he is now, Pushpavān barely resembles himself. There were always flowers around him, a sweet and floral scent that was never too overwhelming, a kindness like honey, as warm as his offered hand.

These things are gone. She cannot be Pushpavān like she was in the past. But sometimes, she pretends the blue stars in her body are constellations of various flowers, and traces lines only she will ever know over them.

Pushpadhanva

any pronoun

means “cupid” or “love”

Despised. Move along. Never call them by this name. There is no more cupid, no more love bringer. There is no light soul with hopes for the best. All other names are ill-fitting, but Pushpadhanva is truly dead. The one who calls in desperation for Pushpadhanva, Pushpadhanva, save me, is the one who never receives an answer from god. The stars of this god leak from their limbs, leaving trails in the air.

(Yet even this is still something they wish, more than anything, to resemble once again. To go back to a ‘normal’ which has not been normal for eons. Is it going back to ‘normal’ when you have spent a longer portion of life ‘abnormal’ than ‘normal’?)

Sakura

any pronoun

means ‘cherry blossom’

That is not their name, but the name of their vessel. Still, out of respect for her, they will be kinder and more lenient to those who knew her in life. After all, she deserved better. (’Unlike them’ is the chaser.)

There is no tendency for this name to affect their appearance, as this name doesn’t belong to them… but some may notice her face looks softer, thinking about the girl whose spirit could meet their own on an equal level.

Kandarpa

generally she/her

means “inflamer of even god”

…a name tied to vengeful thoughts. A yelp of fear, that morphs to a scream, to “I was just doing my job! Why did you do this?!” He grows to love her but never is there regret in his eyes, she gets to always be loved and held so closely. Envy, rage, the isolation of being so spread out, Rati, her Rati, speaks to the stars and their burnt throat must whisper replies.

‘It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, it isn’t fair it isn’t fair it isn’t fair!’ Those who repress Mara are devoured and they are the last of the pantheon, because how can you devour ashes so thoroughly spread out, how can you consume infinity?

The stars snake like flames up their limbs. Their arrow grows even more flowers and stems curl around it, and the point grows even sharper, divots stained with old blood, as she is one of few gods who remain.

Some day soon…

The one who inflames and evokes love in even the coldest gods will ready a single, ancient arrow.

[miss-choco-chips]

Soul Shards part 3

Good news, this isn’t as angsty as I thought I’d make it!! Granted, we still have one more part to go through, but I maneged to write this one without making anyone cry. I want a cookie!

This feels kinda like a filler thing? Next part will be heavier on the DamiTim as Damian grows older and closer to his objective, but for now, enjoy the slooooow burn and developing.

There’s little to no edition here, so... be warned.

~.~.~.~

-Well, this is awkward -spoke Timothy after a full minute went by without anyone speaking. Father’s face was unreadable, as it tended to be whenever a matter involved his heart, but Grayson looked like someone that knows they are having some kind of hallucination but desires desperately it were true.

-Timmy -called Grayson, heart at his sleeve. The exhaustion that had been building on the slope of his shoulders seemed to vanish at the sight of his long lost brother, a relieved sigh escaping his dry lips as he fully turned to face the monitor. Damian couldn’t relate; this was far from relaxing to his poor, excited heart. The tiny soul seemed to say ‘same’.

~.~.~.~

~.~.~.~

14  - 19

The first time Damian lays eyes on Timothy, not a recording or photographs but his actual flesh being, he's in such a rush his brain needs a couple seconds to understand.

What in Hells is he doing at Grandfather's main Australian base?

Damian's feet skip a little when he abruptly stops his dash across the halls, standing open mouthed at the arch leading to the training grounds. There, an oblivious Drake was slowly but steadily working his way across the obstacle course the Australian branch used to hone their skills.

He couldn't quite believe what he was seeing, until the souls at his hip pouch made their feelings on the matter known. His own was scalding hot from all the yearning Damian had been feeling, emotions coming forth at the sight of the one he wished for.

Drake's soul was, as usual, the complicated one. A mixture of want, anger, sadness, fear, adrenaline… Abruptly, a thought crossed his mind, an instant knowledge that left him weak at the knees: The little blue orb wanted to be back with it's rightful owner, wanted to be with Timothy again.

Damian could relate, honestly.

Unaware of the eyes at his back (or perhaps too used to it to notice, if Drake visiting grandfather was a common occurrence), the young man continued his training, strict and unwavering but with a relaxed sort of air around him, like he was in no rush to finish it and keep going to the next move. It was at odds with what Damian had learned from watching years worth of footage of the man, or what Drake's soul itself had taught him by sharing it's emotions on an almost constant basis: he was a creature who thrived on always having a plan following the one currently being executed, always a next step, one more to do list. This unhurried, calm, well rested man, muscles loose on the familiar movements of the training course and intelligent eyes lazily jumping from one point to the other, wasn't quite what Damian expected. 

Though, to be fair, Damian only knew about a Timothy with soul. There was nothing, no information, nowhere to learn from about this soulless version of him.

A figure slowly approaching from the corner of his eye kicked Damian's instincts in motion, jumping back from the open arch to a place where Drake wouldn't spot him if he happened to turn around. Tense, he straightened, facing this newcomer head on.

Being find out by his grandfather wasn't surprising, but Damian internally flinched all the same. Without his com, tracker offline for the time being and cellphone left behind at the Manor, there was no way for him to call in reinforcements or inform about his findings. He wouldn't, of course, this was a secret, self appointed mission, and would father find out he'd be in so much trouble, but since Drake's presence and possible recuperation was worth the scolding, he couldn't help but curse himself.

-Grandson -greeted Ra's, calm as always, a knowing light in his eyes. His hands were clasped behind his back, and although he was wearing comfortable clothes (white shirt, loose training pants, his usual footwear and favorite sword at the belt, no signs of the cape, and soul pouch hanging from his neck by a thick golden chain), Damian wasn't fooled by this facade of calmness. The Demon's head was no foe to be taken lightly, and Damian was underprepared to face him head on, most of his weapons sacrificed for the stealth this mission required, and no allies at his back-, come, walk with me. Let's leave our beloved Detective to his activities, shall we? It's rude to stare, after all, or so I was told.

There was a lot to unpack there, but Damian simply didn't have the time to dwell on it. He entertained the brief idea calling out to Drake, of asking for help, and though the idea of fighting side by side sent a wave of elation through him, he refrained. The little icy blue orb by his hip gave a warning poke, and Damian heed to it's advice: even years before, after all that had came to happen between them thanks to Damian's misplaced jealousy and pride, he wasn't sure the other young would run to his aid, and that was while he still had his soul to guide his heart. 

Stiffly, Damian followed his grandfather down the hall, until they reached some sort of tea room, it's aesthetic more at place at a Japanese mansion, with it's low table and cushions to kneel on, bamboo decorations and Sakura tree painting taking the entirety of one wall. To the untrained eye, it seemed they were alone, but Damian was raised among shadows and was quick to recognize when one entered or left his field vision.

-You see, grandson -started nonchalantly the Demon's head, taking the steaming tea cup from a servant after comfortably sitting on the golden lined pillow-, your timing is either a marvel or a curse. You seemed to have come here in search of something, and found an entirely different treasure.

Of course he knew. Under the protection of the table, Damian clenched his fists. Drake's soul gave a comforting wave, telling him to keep his calm. Damian's own orb answered it's thanks with a warm stroke. The exchange, that used to leave him dizzy with how confusing it was to feel two souls interacting, was now a welcome distraction from his nervousness. It was how he imagined having Timothy by his side, fully soul-ed again would feel like. 

How holding his hand would feel like.

-What is Drake doing here? -careful, don't demand an answer, but don't let him lead the conversation either, was what he imagined his predecessor would tell him, as if anyone else would have it that easy to interact with Ra's- Mother told me the League had no leads on his location.

-Your Mother certainly has a good web of spies and informants, but not even she has access to everything that is my domain. The League follows me, not her. Their loyalty to her and, consequently, you, stops long before it breaches the one they have to me, and thus my most treasured secrets are kept safe by my people. Tea?

Don't, Drake's soul says.

I don't have much of a choice, his own answers.

Don't, it repeats, and Damian is weak.

-I'm not staying long, but thank you. 

He waits until his grandfather waves away the servants and has drank twice from his cup before speaking again.

-You never said what is Drake's purpose in being here -he's careful on his reminder. The blue soul seems to approve.

His grandfather looks down at the table, like he could see his pouch through it, and his smile is amused.

-It's amazing, isn't it -he says instead, and he looks so fond, he can't help but shiver- though I never held it, it must be a thing of utter power, feelings so strong even one as willful as the young Detective had no choice but to leave it behind. And it holds all his secrets, his impulses, his instincts. How marvelous.

Damian tenses, readying himself. He'd die fighting before allowing his grandfather to touch Drake's soul. He had left it with him, and even if his intention wasn't for it to be safe or cherished, it was exactly what Damian had been doing, what he intends to keep doing until his last breath, or until Drake asks for it back.

It must show on his face, because his grandfather merely waves a hand.

-Don't look so stern, grandson. Even if I wrenched it out of your cold, dead hands, it'd do me no good. For a soul to give off the feelings of it's owner, it must be freely given. A stolen soul is no more useful than a piece of jewellery -the venom green of Ra's eyes had a wistful light-, though this one is of a particularly beautiful kind, isn't it?

Silence overtook them for a few seconds. Despite the reassurance, Damian didn't relax his stance.

-Will you tell me about Drake's intentions, grandfather? -he forced his voice to remain calm, steady, as if it didn't matter either way.

-I don't think the young Detective himself knows that, Damian. But if you ask why he's here, I can only tell you what motivations I know, and those are financial in nature.

-...financial?

-World trotting without leaving a trace and crime fighting are both expensive activities. Timothy needs, crudely speaking, an income source, and I'm happy to provide as long as he doesn't turn the focus of his attention towards my activities. His company is also a luxurious pleasure I'll gladly buy while he's willing to sell it.

A pause while grandfather drank some more, though it was doubtlessly a psychological attack, intended to give him time to think about what was implied.

Timothy's loyalty was a fickle thing, now that he had no soul to weight him down. He was still fighting the good fight, but his encounter with Todd had taught them he was willing and ready to fight mercilessly to get his way. And grandfather, as his biggest endorser, was more likely to be able to buy his help than the bats to ask for it.

Wordless threat made, the older man kept talking- As of right now, he needed someplace to recuperate from his fight with the Red Hood two weeks ago, and I offered this place. He has my resources at his disposal, and I don't doubt he'll leave soon with full pockets. In the meantime, I know his exact geographical location, something I'm sure you're aware how difficult it is to do, and have the indulging company of someone whose conversation doesn't make me wish I was brain dead, which is even harder to achieve.

Damian's fingers ached for the little soul he was so used to fiddle with, but he forced them to still. Even after what he said, Damian wouldn't trust his grandfather to no snatch it out of his hand if he caught sight of it.

The conversation seemed to be getting closer to its end, but a thought occurred him that his grandfather, with all his years, probably had a better understanding of souls and their workings than anyone else. He needed to try.

-Why did Drake's soul react that way when I saw him? Until now, it only gave me the feelings I believe he would have in a given situation, or reacted to my own feelings. This time it was… different.

Ra's seemed amused by his attempt, enough to answer at least.

-It's the proximity. A soul's core isn't meant to completely leave it's owner. Even though some historical lovers were known to interchange them, as they lived together, the souls still reached out to their original holders and the connection was never severed. There's also the fact that these lovers had the other's soul to compensate, as to speak. It guided them where their own soul failed to.

Again, Damian read between the lines. This wasn't Drake's case, he didn't have anything to fill his soul’s place.

He felt it surge with something akin to desperation and defiance, and Damian's own rose to the feeling. They'd find a way, even if Drake choose to reject his own soul back. He was right there, in the same building as him for the first time in years, he could/

-And now, grandson, I ask you to leave. The detective surely doesn't want to meet you here, and if he thinks I betrayed our pact by inviting you, future exchanges between us would be harder to accomplish -calmly, Ra's motioned to a servant, who brought forth a wooden box- I believe this is payment enough for your compliance.

Suddenly, painfully, Damian was reminded of his reason to be on the Australian base on the first place. He felt his insides go cold.

Damn it all to hell. 

Jon. 

He was here for Jon.

Ra’s hand softly stroke the box’s lid, before opening it to reveal a shiny orange rock, unassuming to anyone unaware of its power.

-This was what you were looking for, wasn’t it? The mineral needed to save your dying friend’s life, that very few people on Earth posses, would certainly be enough to drive you to try and steal from one as dangerous as myself. Of course, if you’d prefer to take your chances talking to Timothy and refusing my benevolent offer, feel free to search for one of those others owners of it, though I’m sure your dear superboy would be long dead by the time you found it and brought it to him.

Both souls in Damian’s possession ached while he walked out of the hidden castle, towards where he had left his stolen plane. Yearning and desperation, his and Timothy’s let hot dents of pain on his chest, like a very deep scratch by Catwoman when at her most scorned with Batman.

It was so difficult to leave, but it would have been impossible to stay. He was childish in his desire to see Timothy again, to speak to him, to try and win him back to their side, but a developing romantic emotion wasn’t more important than his best friend’s life.

Though Jon owed him a big one, this time.

----.-----

14, soon 15 -  20

-Happy birthday, Timothy -he mutters to himself, shiny blue  soul dancing between his fingers with the ease of practice. It goes unheard by the rest of his clan, every bat in the room hyperfocused on the screens displaying different catastrophes around the world- I hope it won’t be your last.

Drake was probably fine. Even if thousands had died in the last few days of this surprise armageddon, he was too smart, too skilled, too good to simply let that take his life. If Damian’s and Todd’s best efforts weren’t enough to bring him down, he doubts that whatever fuckery this was would be.

It didn’t mean he wasn’t worried, though.

-Batman -panted Superman through his communicator. On the screen displaying Luisiana, a red and blue blur worked on getting hundreds of civilians out of a mall currently on fire- we have a situation here.

-There and everywhere else, Kal -growled father, the lack of sleep adding to the drop of his voice. No one had gotten much rest lately, not while the reason for this apparent end of the world remained a mystery- Diana, how are things on your end? 

On another screen, Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl were fighting side by side what appeared to be zombies. Damian had long given up on understanding the situation.

The Amazonian’s war cry was enough answer. 

-Contact me after you’re done there, I’ll direct you to your next objective -a wave of his hand and his conversation with the Princess was muted. Another movement and Green Lantern’s channel was open-. Give me good news about the Lantern Corps. Are they coming to our aid?

By Father’s right, Nightwing had his own set of heroes to coordinate, every Titan past or present under his command. Red Hood, Batwoman, Bat Girl, Black Bat, The Signal and the Birds of Prey were currently on the field, under Oracle’s guidance. Damian himself had just gotten back from where he was taking care of his city, overworked since Gotham’s other vigilantes were dealing with this end of mankind situation and thus giving their criminals wide breath. Robin’s job in this mess was to keep their streets as clean as possible, taking advantage of school being cancelled until the world either ended or was saved to spend even more time patrolling.

It was a mess. An utter, complete mess. Something needed to change. Dealing with this catastrophes as they came was well and good short term, but it was non stop, and the heroes, even united and coordinated by the Bats, were starting to show some strain.

Damian made a fist around the shiny little orb, searching for it’s warmth to chase away the cold dread at the bottom of his stomach. The soul gave something akin to encouragement, but it was-- distracted, if a soul could ever be that. Expectant. It had been like that since this whole disaster started, and if he weren’t so distracted by literally everything, he’d be going crazy from curiosity.

Finishing the lukewarm tea Alfred had brought down to help ease the transition from Robin to Damian, he let his mind wander again, listening with one ear to both heroes in front of him, taking in the tired slouch of their shoulders. Besides coordinating everyone, Father had been trying to find some answer or solution, and the repetitive failure was taking its own troll on him. Nightwing, ever the Bat first Man and biggest emotional supporter, was likely sharing on it’s burden. He hadn’t seen Brown nor his sister in two days now, and the others in even longer, but he knew their voices and mannerisms enough to read between the lines during their nightly reports via comm; they were all on the end of their rope.

Something called his attention from the corner of his eye, dragging him back to full alertness. A little message warning on one of the least used monitors, a little behind where Father stood and thus not easily seen to him.

He blinked. It was a video call request. Who on their right mind would try and contact them with the world literally falling apart?

The soul almost fell from his fingers in it’s excitement and his throat closed. He knew that feeling.

-Computer, accept call -he commanded, feeling breathless. It gained him the attention of both his mentors, who stopped mid sentence to look over their shoulders to him, just in time to catch the exact moment Timothy appeared on screen.

He looked… healthy. His skin wasn’t as pale as he remembers from years back, no signs of insomnia under his eyes, hair combed and falling softly against his checks. He was leaning back against a couch, one arm wrapped around the back of it in a laid back manner, the position making the fabric of his blue button down cling to his well toned arms. There was something irreverent in the way he sat, a challenge in the tilt of his chin, an impossibly cooky calmness.

Damian would’ve been blown away by such beauty, if not for the empty eyes. He has seen Timothy in pictures of his younger years, happy and thriving, with his icy blue eyes shining and alive. This version of him couldn’t compare to the real deal, stunning as it was.

Still, from a purely objective standpoint… Damn. This was a very inappropriate moment for him to notice it, but damn. 

Was this what Todd called a sexual awakening? It might have been, despite how strongly he hoped it wasn’t; it’d be really ill timed, but that was the bats’ luck.

-Well, this is awkward -spoke Timothy after a full minute went by without anyone speaking. Father’s face was unreadable, as it tended to be whenever a matter involved his heart, but Grayson looked like someone that knows they are having some kind of hallucination but desires desperately it were true.

-Timmy -called Grayson, heart at his sleeve. The exhaustion that had been building on the slope of his shoulders seemed to vanish at the sight of his long lost brother, a relieved sigh escaping his dry lips as he fully turned to face the monitor. Damian couldn’t relate; this was far from relaxing to his poor, excited heart. The tiny soul seemed to say ‘same’.

His oldest’ voice was what Father’s brain apparently needed to reboot. He raised a hand, silencing all monitors around them, except the one that mattered now. In the midst of such a world wide destruction, and with the air as emotionally charged as it was, Timothy’s calmness was baffling.

-Is that Titan’s tower? -asked abruptly father, which drew the rest of Timothy’s background to his attention and… huh. It was. What the hell?

Timothy raised an eyebrow.

-Nice to see you too, B. Is that a new cowl? It really brings out your natural brooder, congratulations. 

-Timmy/

The utter heartbreak in Grayson’s voice made the soul still between Damian’s fingers to twitch painfully, but the man on the screen barely spared his former mentor and friend a look.

-Yes, this is the Tower. No, most titans don’t know I’m here, just Conner as he gave me access on the first place. Yes, we kept in touch after I went away, because the fucker is unfair and can track my heartbeat. No, he won’t ever tell you my location, we have a deal; he doesn’t rat me out, I don’t put him into a coma to keep him and the other two from following me around. Yes, like I would have done with Jason if I weren’t in such a time crunch. No, I’m no criminal. No, I haven't killed anyone this past years, but as you could have guessed, my morals are as good as gone now so I’m not against a little brutality when dealing with an issue. Does that answer all your questions? Can we move on on the important, end of the world thing? This isn’t a social call.

Both Father and Grayson seemed blindsided by such a direct approach, but Damian had expected it, and the icy orb was demanding him to try and gather more information.

-I hacked the Titans, I would have known if they were aware of you.

He didn’t think this through. Directly addressing Drake made him focus his attention on him, and Damian wasn’t exactly ready for it.

-They come to me in person. Nothing for you to track. I allow them to follow me around for some days, they like to act as my moral compasses, they hug me for hours and then it’s goodbye for a few weeks. Rinse, repeat. It’s a nice system and they aren’t as annoying as they could be, so I don’t stop it. Apocalypse situation, anyone? Can we maybe focus on that? If you guys need a moment, I can hang up and go deal with it myself/

-No! -echoed both Batman and Nightwing. Damian’s souls (both of them) silently agreed with the sentiment. Who knows how long it’d be until they got a hold of him again.

Drake seemed amused, but he didn’t press. Instead, he leaned forward to reach the holographic keyboard in front of him and set to work, bringing up different blueprints, records and strategies.

-Now, as you probably already guessed, we are dealing with aliens here. A very powerful, but vulnerable kind. Here's what I’ve got…

No more than five hours later, the week long hell they’ve gone through was done with. All thanks to a barely legal man that after  a few days of disasters decided to bite the bullet and call them, but who hang up the moment his plans were set in motion. 

The second they were clear, Father and Grayson jumped into the Jet. Damian declined, not because he didn’t want to see Drake, but because he was sure he’d be long gone from the Tower by their arrival. Especially if, as they learned today, he still had his three metas at his beck and call. And, he recalled, Grandfather.

On his way to his bedroom he caught sight of Brown and Cain, huddled together  on a couch. 

Stephanie’s locket was almost completely black, only small specs of blue shining through. In comparison, Cassandra’s compass looked like the sky, clear and beautiful, with only the barest hints of darkness seeping slowly into it as the night fell.

The rest of the way to his  bed, he clenched the icy blue soul as tightly as he could without breaking his own hand.

While it retained its color, there would still be time.

-------.-------

15  -  20

The last couple of months had been easier for Damian’s mission, and harder for his soul. Knowing that the key to track Drake laid with his friends, and with more free time than his other family members, he enjoyed an unique position of having the occasion and the resources to follow the metas to Timothy’s location, whenever they went to him. Jon was a loyal and useful friend, and had no issues on flying Damian someplace at the drop of a hat, on top of covering for him with his family. Grayson seemed elated at the concept of Damian spending so much time with his friend, so he made it his mission to keep Father off his back, which worked just fine for him and his mission.

His damn feelings, on the other hand, were a mess.

This was the sixth time Damian had followed one of the former Young Justice (Kon El, today) to Drake’s hiding place. This seemed to be a short-ish visit, a few hours of the super complaining about college while Drake steadily worked his way through a underground drug trafficking ring. The young vigilante himself had merely answered with ‘hmm’s and ‘aahh’s, according to Jon, but it didn’t seem to deter the meta. 

Damian was just sitting on a close by rooftop ledge, waiting until Drake left the building to get a last glimpse of him before leaving for Gotham, when Jon stopped mid sentence and tilted his head the way he did when he was focusing on hearing something. Then, without explanation, he left.

He didn’t even had the time to wonder about his sudden departure, when a soft touch to his shoulder had him drawing his sword and jumping into defensive position.

It was Timothy.

Damian didn’t lower his guard.

Timothy smiled, approvingly. The little soul at his pouch seemed to echo on the feeling.

-Jason didn’t view me as much of a threat -he said conversationally, walking around Damian to join him at his sitting perch, long, slim legs moving back and forth over the edge, weight resting on his hands behind his back- that’s what gave me such a clear shot at kicking his ass, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t offensive. You can relax though, I don’t have a reason to hurt you.

It wasn’t a ‘I don’t want to’ nor a ‘I won’t’, and that’s why Damian believed it; if given a reason, Drake wouldn’t be against fighting him. It was just that he didn’t have one right then and there.

-Why approach me? -he asked, shoulders slowly losing their tension. He didn’t put his sword away, though.

-This is the sixth time you’ve tracked me down -explained the man, and he felt his heart do a jump on his chest; he wasn’t aware Drake knew-, and after the third, I realized it wasn’t for Daddy or Daddy two-point-oh. You never called anyone, never gave my location away, didn't even try to talk to me. So, I...grew curious. Asked Kon to call your little friend away so we might have a chat. Besides -Timothy looked sideways to Damian and a little smirk curved his rosy lips- it’s your birthday. Figured it was as good a occasion as any to indulge you. So I’m here, baby bat. What do you want with me?

Damian’s traitious brain had some suggestions, but he sternly pushed them all out of his mind, to the back of his subconscious for future Damian to deal with. This wasn’t the man he wanted, anyway; not with those empty eyes.

-Your soul/ -he started. 

Timothy’s entire body coiled up, as if ready for a fight, and Damian felt himself tensing in response. 

-Don’t even say it. I don’t want it back, won’t accept it. If you don’t want to carry it around any longer, throw it into Atlantis for all I care. Just… don’t bother me with that shit, or your new pastime of stalking me will be cut short.

-I wasn’t/!

-Dress it as whatever you want baby bat, but I know the score, one stalker to another.

Desperate for a change in the conversation, he went back to his mental list of questions for Drake.

-If… If you don’t want it back.

-I don´t.

-Then, what is your goal? What… what are you doing? You keep fighting Father’s fight, seeing to his Mission…

-Woah, hey. Just because your Father likes to call it his, doesn’t mean that the Mission belongs to him. I wanted to help people long before I was pseudo adopted into your little cult. Actually, the whole reason I got into it, was because your Dad needed a therapist and coping mechanism and moral compass all rolled into one, but as the picky lil brat he was, he wouldn’t take one unless it was twelve years old, with blue eyes and black hair and no parental figures whatsoever. Little me was like catnip for him, and I was just a kid that wanted to help.

Damian… didn’t really had an answer for that.

-That being said, that was true for past-me. As I am now, I couldn’t care less about the ‘good fight’. Any fight would do for me. If I’m still saving people, it’s merely because past-me trained this body beyond what’s healthy to make it virtually impossible for me to ignore evil doers. It’s basically muscle memory, or a vice. 

-Muscle… memory? How so?

Timothy hummed, eyes going up as he searched for the right words.

-If I don’t fight crime, I start getting twitchy, and feeling odd, and it’s just uncomfortable. Without soul, I lack motivation and function because of needs. I’m thirsty, I drink. I’m hungry, I eat. I’m tired, I sleep. Like a baby, impulses are all that matter to me. Except for coffee, because my body goes through literal withdrawal when it goes long without it, and crime fighting. Also the reason why I find it hard to fight against those three metas that keep following me around; my body is just used to go into ‘protect and care for’ mode when catching sight of them, it’s night to impossible to be aggressive. Or why I had no problem kicking Jason’s ass to kingdom come; I have a flight or fight reaction to him ingrained into me, and now, I chose to fight.

The small, hidden part of him that had hoped Drake retained some part of his soul (maybe a secret, maybe hurting?) was ruthlessly squished by the man's words. 

-Why did you help us, then, against the aliens? They weren't in your way, and you didn't get a fight out of it, merely gave us plans -tries, someway childishly.

He received a look that made him feel dumb. He wasn't used to it.

-I live on this planet too, you know. If it goes to shit, so do all of us. It was a matter of self preservation.

There was no denying any of that. Timothy’s eyes remainded empty, light amusement the only emotion flickering through his expression.

The tiny soul by his soul pouch gave the equivalent of an indignant cry to Damian.

‘Get me back on my body. Give my emotions back to him. Fix this’, it demanded.

‘I don’t know how’, he wanted to reply.

‘Figure it out’ was the uncompromising answer. 

It was scared. Timothy’s soul was scared of what he had become, of what he’d continue to be without it, and it was begging Damian for help. This wasn’t about proving himself to father, or to Timothy, any longer. This was to help him; save him. Bring him back to what he was before.

He needed a plan, and time to develop it. 

Throat swallowing hard, he weighed his options. Contact with Timothy was needed, if a chance to return his soul was to be taken the moment it appeared.

Thinking back on all that was said, he felt an idea start to form.

-Would you mind if I sought you out sometimes? It’s…  quiet here, and you aren’t as annoying a company as the rest of our family members can be.

-Your family, you mean.

-Be that as it might. You could help me with cases, and won’t care if a particular one is specially hard or dangerous. That kind of cold insight might be useful, and it’ll help calm your need of doing good, won’t it?

He expected a denial, or negotiation. But of course Timothy merely shrugged.

-I told you before, I don’t care. About anything, really. Stay, go, do whatever, as long as you don’t get in my way or try to give me that shit back. If you can follow those two simple rules, we won’t have a problem.

Damian ignored the dryness of his voice, the hollowness of his eyes. Instead, his focus was poured into the feelings he got from the soul at his pouch.

Pride and anticipation. He was on the right track.

Fear. This path wouldn't be easy.

Gratitude. He was doing all of this for Timothy’s sake, nothing he’d gain from it.

And… a special kind of fondness. It wasn’t yet on par with the one he had felt for months every time the icy blue soul was in close proximity with Todd, but… it was getting there.

A hot flush of excitement went through him. 

He was going to do this, and do it right, and maybe… maybe Drake wouldn’t hate him by the end of it all.

[star-doll-universe]

Michelle Goes to Komugi Island

Whoa, sorry it took so long to get this next part out. I moved to a new city and started a new job, also this turned out way longer than I intended. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and there’s probably going to be one more part after this one. 

I hope you enjoy @one-piece-dumpster-fire ^-^

Part 1    Part 2

With a heavy sigh, Michelle collapsed into the softest armchair in the main study of her and Cracker’s mansion. It gave a knowing chuckle at her obvious fatigue as she snuggled into its plush cushions. Everything seemed to ache, not just her bad leg this time. Who knew planning a wedding would be so exhausting?

Michelle supposed she should have expected this. Between her fiancé and future mother-in-law, deciding on any aspect of the wedding was always a difficult task. After all, they both had such large personalities that were hardly ever agreeable. The only part of her marriage ceremony that Michelle really had any strong opinion on was her dress, and both Big Mom and Cracker had drastically different ideas on what she should wear. Cracker wanted something sleek and sexy while Big Mom wanted a full princess ballgown with lots of details and decorations. She basically wanted her future daughter-in-law to look almost as elaborate as the wedding cake! For her part, Michelle did want to wear something worthy of the event but still with a quiet elegance that would prevent her from looking too over the top. That would undoubtedly not be up to Big Mom’s standards (or sexy enough, as far as Cracker was concerned).

The young woman really did dread the eventual dress shopping she would be doing with Cracker’s full sisters Custard and Angel, knowing full well they would have opinions of their own.

“Hiya, Michelle! Long time no see.” A familiar voice jerked her from her musings, and Michelle glanced up to see the small orange form of Charlotte Spice hovering just outside the study window. She was drifting in midair with her legs crossed and her arms tucked behind her head as though she was lounging on a chair of her own.

Upon seeing her, Michelle hastily sat up. “Oh! Spice, hello! How are you? It has been a while.”

The other woman giggled at her hurried response. “I’m doing well, but you look a little beat. Is wedding planning tiring you out?”

Michelle gave a slightly embarassed smile. “Yeah…I guess I should have expected it to be this taxing, but I hadn’t really considered it.”

“I hear you. I’ve seen my fair share of weddings in my time.” Spice replied as she straightened up and drifted closer to the windowsill. “Anyways, that’s why I’m here. I figured you could use a day off for a bit of R&R!”

Michelle’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?!”

“I was thinking you and I could have a bit of a girl’s day! There’s a new spa that just opened up on one of the islands that I wanted to try, and I figured it would be a great opportunity for you to get some time to relax.”

A spa? Michelle hadn’t been to one of those in a while. It honestly sounded really good right now.

“Alright. That sounds like a great idea,” she eventually agreed. “Are we leaving now?”

“You catch on quick!” Spice held out her hand, and after a moment’s hesitation, Michelle took it and allowed the other woman to pull her through the window and hold her against her chest, supporting them both while hovering in midair.

After giving her a moment to catch her bearings, Spice took off flying over the streets of Biscuit Island without another word.

Despite Spice’s firm grip, Michelle still clung to her like a lifeline, trying desperately to look anywhere but down. “So where is this new spa, you mentioned?” she shouted over the wind their speed was creating, hoping to distract herself from the great distance between her and the ground.

“It’s on Komugi Island!” Spice replied with a grin, “You know, my older brother Katakuri’s island.”

“Oh yes!” Michelle had a vague idea of what the island was like, although she hadn’t yet visited it.

“That reminds me…” Spice slowed down slightly, which got the other young woman’s attention, “Is it alright with you if I invite another person along for our girl’s day?”

“Oh! Uh…I suppose so. Who is it?”

Spice’s momentary hesitation melted away. “I was going to invite Sakura, Katakuri’s wife! I figured it was a good idea since you guys haven’t met yet. Don’t worry, she’s super nice and honestly like the best person to have a girl’s day out with. I bet you two are going to get along great!”

Michelle couldn’t help but laugh at Spice’s constant enthusiasm. “I certainly hope so.” She did vaguely remember it being mentioned that Katakuri was married, but she didn’t know anything about his wife, or him for that matter. It seemed like Spice’s older brother was a very private person.

“You said Katakuri’s wife was named Sakura, right?” she asked Spice. “What’s she like?”

“She’s very friendly, honestly more so than you might expect,” the other woman replied. “And she’s a whizz in the kitchen! She makes the absolute best pumpkin donuts you’ve ever tasted in your life!” Spice licked her lips at the thought, “I hope she has a fresh batch waiting for us when we get there.”

At that point, they’d reached the harbor where Spice’s boat the Peter Midnight was docked waiting for them. Spice quickly alighted on the deck and finally set Michelle down.

She wobbled a bit on the gently rocking boat, trying to find her footing again. As Michelle looked on, Spice’s body started to glow faintly with a golden light. A moment later, a series of fuzzy flashes sprouted out from her body, separating from her form and taking the shape of exact duplicates of Spice herself. The soul projections then quickly darted around the ship, getting everything ready to cast off.

Michelle wasn’t nearly as freaked out as she’d been the first time she’d seen Spice use this ability, and while the other woman went about getting everything organized, she went over to the bow where the flaming pumpkin figurehead was chuckling to itself and settled in for the journey ahead. She couldn’t help but wonder what the day would bring.

                                                      ~~~

Komugi Island wasn’t quite as flashy as Candy Island had been, but it was still very impressive. The sheer size of the place was a little overwhelming for Michelle. It was said to be one of the larger islands of the Tottoland Archipelago as well as one of the most densely populated.

The young woman quickly followed Spice through the crowded streets of Hakuriki Town, the island’s capitol city. Just like on Candy Island, many of the passerby stopped to address the Sweet Commander with a kind of reverence, bowing deeply or shouting their praises.

Although, many of the civilians seem to recognize Michelle as well. Several pointed and whispered to one another behind their hands. A few offered her warm smiles and friendly waves. It would seem like more and more of Tottoland’s population was recognizing her as a member of the Charlotte Family, a position that demanded respect.

At one point, an overweight, well-dressed man took off his top hat and gave Michelle a lofty bow. She could only offer a nervous smile in return.  

Eventually, Spice managed to lead her away from the downtown district and towards the city’s perimeter. Michelle was rather surprised to find that Katakuri and his wife didn’t live in the epicenter of their ruling island’s capitol. Rather, their massive estate was located a short distance outside of the city, on top of a wooded hill.

Surrounding the massive house, there were dozens of trees, which sang and swayed lazily in the wind, surrounding the large magenta building and providing plenty of privacy. Spice alighted on the grass amongst the small forest, setting Michelle down beside her (her leg had started to act up again while still downtown, so Spice had flown them the rest of the way).

As soon as they appeared in the garden, the trees all started shaking their branches in anxious curiosity while whispering amongst themselves almost as much as the people in downtown.

“You good?” Spice asked when Michelle paused, rubbing her sore hip.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She gave the other woman an apologetic smile. “I think this day was long overdue.”

“I’ll say!” Spice agreed, chipper as ever as she skipped ahead. “Sorry to make you walk so much. Are you better now?”

“Yeah, I’ll be alright.” Michelle followed along at a bit slower pace as they approached the gigantic gold and white front door to the mansion. She stared up at the building in awe, her mouth hanging open in spite of herself, as she took in the massive structure. It looked more like a museum than a house! Then again, she supposed it made sense: Katakuri was even taller than Cracker and Persopero, so he would require a larger space.

As Michelle pondered this, Spice jumped up and rapped her knuckles smartly on the door. “Hello~! Anyone home?!” There came no response. She then grasped one of the large golden knockers and tried again, this time producing a near thunderous sound that seemed to echo throughout the mansion’s many rooms and hallways. However, still no one came to the door.

“Maybe you should try the doorbell?” Michelle offered.

“No way. It bites.” Spice pointed to the indicated object mounted beside the door. The little button had a small snarling face and it hissed at Spice and Michelle.

“I guess Katakuri’s out, but I wonder where the servants are.” Spice glanced around, “Well, he doesn’t keep many staff on anyways.” She shrugged, “Come on, we can just go in the back door.”

“Are you sure that’s okay?” Michelle asked as Spice hopped off the porch and started making her way around the house.

“Of course! Katakuri doesn’t mind, and I’m sure Sakura left it open.” Spice replied simply. Michelle could hardly argue so she followed as close behind as she could.

It took a few minutes from them to make their way around to the back of the house; however, it wasn’t long before a rich delicious smell wafted through the air towards them.

Spice paused, inhaling deeply. “I was right! Sakura is making her pumpkin donuts!”

“Those smell heavenly,” Michelle exclaimed, feeling her mouth start to water.

“I told you! Sakura makes the best donuts in all of Tottoland. She even puts Streusen to shame. Katakuri swears by it, and he’s something of an expert on the subject.” Spice grinned before taking Michelle’s hand and pulling her to the rest of the way to the back door.

It was indeed propped open with a large stone doorstop that was chanting “Hold the door! Hold the door!” over and over as they passed. Spice wasted no time with stepping over the threshold into the kitchen, and Michelle was pulled along as well.

It was immediately apparent that the kitchen was the most important room in the house, and Michelle was shocked to find that it was even bigger and fancier than the one she had worked with alongside Giuseppe in Cracker’s mansion. The room was long like a bowling alley, and counters and stoves lined either side with dozens of cabinets mounted on the walls above them. Everything was painted in rich browns and cream colors and there were two long tables in the center of the room. Against the back wall, there was a gigantic oven the size of a fireplace that was currently pumping a dense heat into the room as it baked whatever the source of that spicy autumnal aroma was. It was also immediately clear to Michelle that the kitchen was a mess. The countertops and tables were covered in flour and some of what looked to be the purest, brightest sugar she’d ever seen. It almost seemed to sparkle like crystal. There were dozens of mixing bowls filled with the remnants of batter and frosting stacked on the countertops and piled up in the sink along with seemingly hundreds of dirty utensils. Streaks of chocolate and caramel sauce along with small piles of multi-colored sprinkles covered the floors and there was even a splattering of some sticky syrup staining the ceiling as well as a cooking spoon dangling haphazardly from the center of the stain.

Michelle gawked at the scene. Giuseppe would have a fit if he saw the state of this place.

Her attention was soon drawn to the sound of a person rummaging in one of the cabinets on the other side of the kitchen. Her eyes followed the noise and soon spied a large figure crouched down with the open door mostly blocking them from her view as they shuffled through the contents of the cabinet.

“Sakura! Hey!” Spice called, finally letting go of Michelle’s hand and rushing towards the other person, waving her arms.  

At her words, the figure straightened up to her full height. The kitchen suddenly felt a little smaller as Michelle took in the woman before her. She was well over twelve feet tall with a broad, full chest, muscular arms and thick thighs and hips. She had a pretty, yet stern face framed by wavy emerald green hair and accented by sharp, yellow eyes. Although, her most imposing feature was the pair of large white, bull-like horns that were growing out of the top of her head. However, as Michelle looked at her longer, she realized that her somewhat frightening form was shrouded in a rather contrasting color palette: she was clothed from head to toe in different shades of pink: including an intricate bubblegum pink kimono dress with an adorning sash and a paler pink apron covered in more flour and stains. She was also wearing large cherry blossom earrings with matching necklace and rings. Her makeup was intricate and just as “girly” with sparkling eyeshadow and richly colored lips.

The massive woman looked down at the other two, wiping a bit of sugar off her cheek before her eyes instantly lit up. “Spice! Hello!” she exclaimed, speaking with a heavy accent Michelle couldn’t place.

“It’s so good to see you!” Spice laughed as she rushed forward and jumped into the larger woman’s open arms, hugging her around the waist. “It’s been too long.”

“It sure has,” the woman, whom Michelle concluded must be Katakuri’s wife, then glanced back up at her. “This is Cracker’s fiancée then?”

“Yep, this is Michelle,” Spice gestured back to her. “Come on over and say hello.”

“Yeah, I don’t bite,” Katakuri’s wife added, although she bared her rather sharp teeth as she spoke.

With a small amount of caution, Michelle made her way over as the woman bent down to shake her hand. “Charlotte Sakura, it’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” the smaller woman replied as Sakura shook her whole arm rather than just her hand. As she did so, Michelle noticed that Sakura’s nails were long and sharpened like claws but also painted pastel pink.

At that moment, a loud clatter reverberated across the kitchen, and the three women all turned to see several kitchen item Homies were jumping out of another cabinet and a few of them had knocked some of the baking pans off the table.

Sakura gave a shout and ran over to the mess, waving her arms and yelling at the Homies in an unknown language. Spice laughed as she fretted over the mess, finally shooing the Homies out of the kitchen with a broom.

“Still not used to the Homies, huh?” Spice giggled.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to them.” Sakura spat, “Pesky little yokai.”

“It took me a bit of time to get used to them too,” Michelle admitted.

“Little shits need to stay out of my room,” Sakura grumbled under her breath as she made her way back over to the massive oven. As if on cue, the machine dinged almost as soon as she reached it.

“Yay! Donuts are done!” Spice exclaimed.

Sakura laughed at her sister-in-law’s enthusiasm as she opened the oven door and pulled out a baking pan laden with warm orange-brown donuts. The spicey pumpkin scent filled the room to the brim, and Michelle thought it was absolutely heavenly.

“I’m so excited!” Spice was hovering a few inches off the ground, unable to contain her eagerness.

“Don’t forget they’re very hot,” Sakura reminded her. Despite this statement, she proceeded to pluck the donuts out of their holders with her bare hands and place them on a cooling tray.

“I can cool them down!” Spice offered, bounding over and hovering above the donuts. She sucked in a sharp breath before blowing on the freshly baked sweet. From her mouth came a sudden gust of icy wind that sent chills down Michelle’s spine. The steam from them started to fade almost instantly, and Spice quickly patted one to see if it was still too hot to eat. “That better?”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Impatient as ever.” Michelle then watched, rather startled, as Sakura raised her hand and waved it over the donuts. As she did so, white powder seemed to pour out from her hand like snow comes from a winter cloud and alight on the donuts in a pleasing glaze.

“Whoa…” she whispered.

“I know right,” Spice gave her a knowing smile. “Sakura ate the Sugar-Sugar Fruit. How fitting is that?!”

“It’s what makes my donuts so special,” Sakura agreed with a proud smile, placing one of the aforementioned sweets on a plate and handing it to Michelle. As she turned away, Spice grabbed two more. “Do you want one?”

“Yes, please.” Michelle quickly accepted the offered pastry and took a bite. The flavor that washed over her tongue was heavenly. It was rich and warm and strangely nostalgic in taste, reminding Michelle of cool fall evenings beside a crackling fire. It was near indescribable, there was something distinctive about it that set it apart from most other sweets she’d had in the past.

“Well?” Sakura eagerly asked.

“It’s delicious,” Michelle exclaimed, “I’ve never had anything like it!”

“I’m glad you like them,” Sakura replied, dusting her hands on her apron. “My husband can’t get enough of them.”

“Where is Katakuri?” Spice asked through a mouthful of her third donut.

“Out.” Sakura shrugged. “You know how he is.”

“Speaking of which,” Spice stuffed one more donut in her pocket before turning to the other two, “Shall we get going?”

“Of course! I wanted to try out this new spa for ages!” Sakura exclaimed, quickly hanging up her apron and washing off any lingering sugar or other ingredients from her face and hands. “I need to get my nails done anyways. My cuticles are a mess.”

Michelle couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of this big, scary woman complaining about her nails. She was then rather shocked to see Sakura go into a closet by the door and pull out two massive swords that were each nearly twice as tall as she was. One of them had a gold hilt with spikes jutting out on all sides of the guard and the other had a white sheath and a silver, crescent-shaped guard.

“You’re taking your swords?” Spice inquired, hovering in the air.

“Of course! I never leave home without them.” Sakura replied as she then attached the silver sword to her hip and slung the gold sword over her shoulder. “Alright, let’s be off!”

                                                    ~~~

It was very easy for Michelle to see why Spice and Sakura got along so well. They were both chatterboxes. It didn’t take them long to fall into a face paced conversation, walking side by side as they jabbered away. Or rather, Spice was floating in the air at the level of Sakura’s elbow in order to lessen the absurd height difference a little bit. For her part, Michelle couldn’t help but trail behind, huffing and puffing as she tried to keep up with the speed not only of their walk but also their words.

Spice was enthusiastically describing an incident that occurred in Sweet City, the capitol of Whole Cake Island and in fact all of Tottoland, where a great vat of molasses had exploded and flooded the whole city.

“It made an awful mess and mother was furious, but the citizens had a lot of fun swimming in it,” Spice explained cheerfully as though a gigantic tidal wave of sticky, oozing molasses flooding most of a major city was really no big deal at all.

As far as Sakura was concerned, she bounced off of Spice’s rambling remarks rather effortlessly, although it was already apparent that the “common tongue” was not her first language. She would occasionally slip in and out of the language she’d spoken before in the kitchen, one Michelle neither understood nor recognized, and make exclamations in this strange tongue.

She really did want to ask her about it, but Michelle was having a hard time keeping pace as it was. She was already really out of breath.

“H-Hey!” she called up to Sakura, trying her best to race walk behind her to keep up with her long strides. Sakura and Spice both looked back down at her call. “Y-Your accent, I don’t recognize it. Where are you from?”

Sakura gave her a curious look. “Hey, do you need to take a minute?’

“Huh?” Michelle panted, feeling her face go hot both with exertion and embarrassment. “N-No, I’m fine.”

“Nonsense,” Spice asserted, floating over to her, “Sorry about this, Michelle! I should have had Sakura give you a lift from the start.”

“Th-That’s okay.” Michelle started to protest, but Spice promptly picked her up by the waist and gently floated back up into the air before placing her on Sakura’s broad shoulder. Michelle instinctively grabbed the hilt of Sakura’s large golden sword strapped to her back to steady herself.

“Better?” Spice inquired, floating around the other two women like an energetic bumblebee.

“Uh yeah. This is fine,” Michelle replied, slightly nervous in spite of herself. Sakura was tall; it would be a long way down if she fell.

“I’ve got you.” Michelle looked over to see Sakura smiling at her. Now that she was eye level with her, she could make out her sharp yellow eyes a lot more clearly. There was something strangely familiar about them.

“So, what is it you wanted to ask me?” Sakura inquired.

Michelle blinked. “I was just wondering about your accent. I don’t recognize it. Where are you from?”

Sakura’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before she smiled. “Me? I’m from Wano.”

Michelle almost fell off Sakura’s shoulder in the way she gaped at her in shock. “W-What?! Seriously? You mean the Wano Kuni, the kingdom that’s been isolated for almost seven hundred years?!”

Sakura laughed at Michelle’s reaction. “The very same. Is that really so surprising?”

“Well, yeah. I mean people aren’t allowed in or out of that country, right?” This explained why she didn’t recognize the language Sakura was speaking. It was Wanonese, a tongue known only to those native to the Kingdom of Wano.

“That is usually true, but I guess you could say my dad has some influence with the Shogun.” Sakura winked at Michelle, which only confused the other woman more.

“Hey! We’re here!” Spice suddenly piped up, having flown a short way ahead of the other two and was waving her hands frantically, while hovering in midair.

Michelle had become so engrossed with her conversation with Sakura that she hadn’t even noticed they reentered the bustling downtown district of Hakuriki Town. Spice was drifting in part of a massive pink palace-like building that had dozens of multi-colored bubbles drifting out of white spiral-shaped towers jutting out of the twisty cream-colored dome roof.

“Oh wow! It’s so cute!” Sakura exclaimed, her eyes sparkling as she took in the impressive structure, all decked out in her favorite color.

Michelle waved aside some of purple bubbles that were floating in the air around them. Her fingers popped one of them as she did so, and the air was instantly filled with the scent of lavender. “Ooh nice.”

“This place looks great!” Spice proclaimed, finally alighting on the ground in front of the door. “Can you fit, Sakura?”

“I might have to duck to get through the door but the inside looks spacious enough,” the taller woman replied as she abruptly reached up and grasped Michelle by the back of her sweater, lifting her off her shoulder and gently setting her down on the ground.

“Thank you,” Michelle whispered before following Spice through the large pink double doors after she pulled them open with the massive handles. Sakura ducked in after them, careful not to brush her horns on the top of the door frame.

The front room of the spa was filled with even more multi-colored bubbles than the outside. The ceiling was high enough to accommodate Sakura, but the bubbles kept popping on her horns, periodically filling the air with

A short, plump receptionist draped in waves of fuchsia fabric greeted the girls on the front desk and quickly beckoned a small group of white and pink clothed employees to usher the into the back room once Spice had signed them in.

The Sweet Commander had to insist on paying, even though the woman urged her not to, saying the spa’s treatment was offered to the Charlotte Family free of charge. However, Spice gave her the money anyways, declaring she wanted to support the business.

The young female attendants in their pink and white candy cane stripe uniforms lead Michelle, Spice and Sakura through the coral pink halls of the spa, lined with rooms on all sides.

The ladies lead them into one of the rooms and directed them to little cubbies where they could put their clothes and shoes and replace them with fluffy white robes and flip flops.

Michelle couldn’t believe how soft the bathrobe was; it felt like she was wrapped in a cloud.

“Sakura, no. You can’t take your swords with you,” Spice was saying to her sister-in-law.

“Why not?!”

“It should be obvious why not!”

Michelle giggled to herself.

                                                              ~~~

The rest of the afternoon was a flurry of steam, soft benches, sweet-smelling perfumes and more colorful bubbles.

The three young women were all given massages and body cleansing treatment. Michelle felt as though she could melt into the table as the masseuse worked at the tense muscles in her back and shoulders. Her bad leg didn’t even seem to be hurting her anymore.

After that, the girls were given some time to unwind in a sauna, which left Michelle feeling nearly boneless if a little stuffy from the steam.

Finally, the last thing on the roster were manicures and pedicures. Michelle picked out a royal purple nail polish for her fingers and toes, a color Cracker had said looked good on her in the past.

Spice choose pumpkin orange of course, and Sakura predictably picked bubblegum pink.

The three girls all sat in large highbacked recliners with soft cushion lining while the workers cleaned their feet with the help of small bubbling tubs mounted on the floor.

Sakura and Spice were once again filling the air with their rigorous flow of conversation. It was almost as erratic and colorful as the clouds of bubbles drifting over their heads. Michelle was more than content just to listen, leaning back in her seat as the employee doing her pedicure rubbed a sweet-smelling cream onto the soles of her feet to smooth out any dry skin.

“Where are you from, Michelle?” Sakura’s voice suddenly jerked the other young woman out of her reverie.

“Huh?”

“Spice tells me you’re not from Tottoland originally,” Sakura elaborated at Michelle’s confused expression.

“Oh. No, I’m not.”

“So where are you from?”

Michelle smiled almost wistfully. “I don’t really have a home country. I was born on a ship on the Grand Line. My parents are merchants, and me and my little brother traveled around with them our entire lives.”

Sakura’s eyes widened. “That’s unbelievable! So, you must have been all over the world, huh?”

Michelle nodded, surprised at the other woman’s enthusiasm. To her, her life had always been her own and had soon grown rather boring, which was why she had decided to settle down in one place in Tottoland. She would sometimes forget that it probably sounded fantastical and strange to other people. “I’ve been through most of the Grand Line and some parts of the New World, also the North Blue a few times.”

Sakura seemed absolutely enthralled. “Can you tell me more about the places you’ve visited?” she inquired, leaning forward slightly in her seat with an earnest smile.

Michelle nodded. “Sure. I can do that.” She was more than willing to indulge the other woman; after all, if Sakura really was from Wano like she mentioned, she probably hadn’t been to many other places growing up. So, Michelle soon found her stride in telling Sakura and Spice stories from her childhood of travelling around with her family. She tried to be as descriptive as possible so as to paint the clearest picture of her “adventures”.

For her part, Sakura listened with rapt attention, her eye shining all the while.

By the time they’d gotten done with their pedicures and manicures and  had moved to sitting at low tables while their fingernails dried under lights, Michelle had pretty much exhausted all of her stores.

Sakura was beaming. “So, you said you have a brother?”

“Yeah, I have a little brother,” Michelle replied, “He’s still a teenager. Do you have any siblings?”

“I do!” Spice piped up, blowing on her pumpkin-colored nails.

“We know,” Sakura shot back with a snort. “I have an older brother. He’s my twin actually.”

“Oh really?” Michelle intrigued.

“Yeah, we’re nearly identical but he doesn’t think so,” Sakura continued, lifting up her own nails to inspect if they were properly dried yet.

As she did so, the sleeve of her fluffy white robe slipped down slightly, and Michelle could make out a large intricate tattoo on the inner forearm of her left arm.

Sakura glance up, catching Michelle staring. “What is it?”

“Oh nothing. I just noticed your tattoo.”

“Hmm? Oh yeah this?” Gently, Sakura pulled down her sleeve further to show the tattoo off better. It was a beautiful piece consisting of a large dragon with glittering azure scales coiled around a phoenix with brilliant multicolored flaming feathers creating a kind of balanced Ying Yang effect.

“Oh wow. So pretty.”

“Thanks.” Sakura smiled proudly, “It’s my parents.”

“Huh?” Michelle glanced back up, confused. “What do you mean?”

“The dragon is my dad and the phoenix is my mom,” Sakura explained, tracing her fingers along the details of her tattoo.

“Who are your parents, Sakura?” Michelle asked innocently, “Do they live here in Tottoland or are they back in Wano?”

“They live in Wano. My dad pretty much runs the place.” Sakura gently folded her arms, looking rather smug.

Michelle’s eyes widened. “Runs Wano?! Who is he? He must be very important.”

Sakura chuckled. “You could say that. My dad’s Kaido.”

CRASH!

“Michelle! Oh my god!” Spice jumped up, quickly flying over to Michelle and helping her off the ground from where she’d fallen out of her chair, scattering the rainbow bubbles.

“I’m fine. I’m okay.” Michelle assured her. “I was just…surprised.” She looked back at Sakura, who was staring at her with a rather amused expression. As she looked at her, really looked at her, she realized why her sharp yellow eyes, almost reptilian in nature, looked so familiar, because she’d seen them staring out at her from a Wanted Poster for man worth over 4 billion berries. Honestly, she supposed the horns would have been enough of a tip off.

Michelle had to laugh. “You’re serious? You’re Kaido’s daughter?!”

“Michelle, quiet!” Spice urged her, glancing over at the spa workers who were all giving them pointed looks. “We’re not supposed to be making too much noise.”

At this, the other young woman felt her face grow warm, realizing that the sound of her falling out of her chair in shock had probably already made enough of a racket.

Sakura stood up. “I think we should get going.”

                                                     ~~~

Before she knew it, Michelle found herself once again on Sakura’s shoulder, walking through the streets of Hakuriki Town with Spice zipping around above their heads. She gripped the fabric of her yukata as tightly as she dared, listening to the almost rhythmic clinking of Sakura’s weapons against her body.

“I didn’t know Kaido had any children….” She finally said.

Sakura barked a laugh. “I surprised you that much, huh? Is it that hard to believe? Big Mom says I look like my father. I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not, but it’s certainly something.”

Michelle glanced around as they walked, seeing people were ducking out of their way to avoid Sakura’s large strides, noticing, as she hadn’t before, the fear on many of their faces accompanying the usual awe and respect for members of the Charlotte Family like Spice and Cracker.

“I don’t know. I guess it’s just surprising because Kaido’s a terrifying monster, an Emperor of the Sea rumored to be unkillable and the strongest creature in the world. And you’re just so…” she trailed off as she looked at Sakura.

“Not what you would expect?”

Michelle laughed nervously. “I guess not.”

“I suppose my brother Yamato would fight the mold a little better. I’m bigger than him but he and my dad both like to hit things with heavy clubs. They have that in common, at least.” There was a certain edge to her voice that implied some deeper layers to that statement.

“What’s your mother like then?” Michelle then inquired. She remembered now that Winter and her sisters Crystal and North had discussed meeting Kaido’s wife and that she wasn’t very nice to them.

However, at the mention of her mother, Sakura’s face filled adoration. “My mother is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. She’s well-read and has medical training; she also speaks four languages! She insisted my brother and I learn the Common Tongue before I even came to Tottoland. She’s a powerful force to be reckoned with, although in a different way than my father, and he adores her.”

Michelle was very curious by all of this information. “I’d like to meet her someday.”

Sakura grinned at this. “Maybe you can! When I get to go home to Wano for a visit, maybe I could take you with me! Wouldn’t that be fun?!”

“It sure would be,” Michelle agreed.

“Hey guys! Look at this!” Spice, who had flown a few yards ahead of the other two, was pointing out towards the docks on the edge of the city. The massive main pier was densely packed with a heavy crowd of people all gathered around booths for some kind of festival celebration.

“Oh, it’s a Flour Festival!” Sakura explained as she and Michelle drew closer. “A bunch of the island’s chefs and bakers set up booths to advertise their newest creations. It always turns into quite the party.”

“It looks so fun!” Spice called, turning backflips in midair with excitement. “Let’s go check it out!”

“Sure thing.” Sakura turned to Michelle, “Have you ever had a crepe?”

                                                         ~~~

“I didn’t know these things could be filled with ice cream!” Spice exclaimed, licking a bit of chocolate sauce off her check with her tongue.

“They can be filled with whatever you want,” Sakura replied through a mouthful of her own pastry. “How’s yours, Michelle?”

“Delicious!” Michelle said of her chocolate and strawberry crepe. Who knew pancakes could be made even better?!

The sound of nearby music caught the three women’s attention and they all glanced towards it from where they were sitting on the sea wall at the edge of the pier, surrounded by side eyeing seagulls.

“Sounds like there’s a performance going on,” Sakura mused.

“There’s an ethnic group of nomadic people that travel around Tottoland and do street performances for money,” Spice explained, stuffing the rest of her crepe in her mouth and jumping to her feet. “They do really impressive acrobatic stuff. Let’s go take a look.”

“Sure, sounds fun,” Sakura got up as well before glancing back down at Michelle. “Are you coming?”

“I’ll be with you in a minute. I’m just gonna finish my food first.”

Sakura smirked at her. “Spice moves really fast, huh? It’s almost hard to keep up.”

Michelle laughed. “You got that right.”

“We’ll be over here when you need us,” Sakura continued, gesturing towards the crowd of cheering onlookers, enthusiastically watching the acrobatics of a bunch of brightly dressed people flipping across the pier. “Just look for the horns.” She added, pointing at them.

“I will.” Michelle replied as she watched Sakura walk off towards the dense throng of people, not being nearly as consumed by them as Spice was, her horns were still clearly visible.

With this in mind, the young woman turned back to her crepe and continue happily munching as some of the strawberries giggled, saying it tickled when she speared them with her fork.

A slight breeze drifted off the nearby ocean, gently ruffling her hair and the edges of her dress. It was a lovely day; the sky was a clear cloudless blue and the breeze from the sea was subtle yet refreshing.

A loud explosion suddenly went off directly next to Michelle. A huge, dark shape had smashed into the sea wall with a thunderous crash, shattering the stone and sending dust and bits of debris flying into the air.

Michelel shrieked, her half-eaten food falling from her grasp as she toppled backwards off the sea well. She was suspended in open air for the space of a heartbeat before she hit the moist sand of the beach below the pier.

Shaken, she scrambled to her feet as quickly as her bad leg permitted, reeling as she looked around wildly, shaking wet sand from her hair. A large cannon ball had impeded itself in the sea wall and people beyond the massive hole were running around in a panic just as another cannonball struck one of the brightly colored booths lining the edge of the pier and it burst into flames.

Michelle could feel her blood pounding in her ears, she hadn’t fallen very far so she wasn’t badly injured, but she was struggling to regain proper control of her bad.

The sounds of splashing made her whirl around to see a crowd of people stumbling through the water off of a series of life boats drifting amongst the small waves. They move through the shallow water like zombies, and Michelle felt her heart in her throat as she watched the men stagger towards her. They were all bone thin with sallow grey skin stretched across their inisdes, their eyes were black and hollow, staring almost lifelessly towards her. There was a spark, however, of something savage and wild in those empty eyes. The backdrop to this horrifying display was a large dark pirate ship drifting in harbor a good distance out. It cut through the water like a ghost with ripped sails and a battered hull, it looked like it would fall apart any second like paper mache.

“Who are you?!” Michelle blurted out. “What do you people want?!”

At her words, the one closest to her suddenly latched out and grabbed Michelle by the arm. She felt the cool steel of a cutlass against her throat before she had time to react. “Food…We need food and…and supplies,” he choked out, his voice hoarse like he’d been gargling sea water.

“Give us whatever we ask for or we’ll blow this whole island to smithereens!” added another of the pirates, lifting his own sword over his head but he hardly looked strong enough to wield it.

Michelle felt a slight pang of pity before another cannon ball struck the pier, having been fired from the ghost ship in the distance.

It hit the wood of the pier, splintering one of the supports and sending the whole thing off kilter. More terrified cries came from the crowd above

“Did you hear me, lady!” the man shouted in Michelle’s face, redirecting her attention. “Give us the stuff we need or I’m gonna kill you!” She felt the pressure of his sword at her throat again

“Michelle!” She glanced up at the sound of her name in time to see Sakura drop out of the sky like a bird of prey.

The sound of her sword slice through the air like a lightning strike, and the man holding Michelle fell back with a stream and blood spurting from his chest.

She fell back hard on the wet sand and her body was suddenly eclipsed by Sakura’s massive form standing between her and the attacking men. She had both of her swords drawn, their silver and gold exterior glinting in the late afternoon sun.

Two more of the ragged men lunged at her to avenge their fallen comrade. Sakura’s body hardly seemed to move at all before both men had hit the ground, their blood soaking the sand.

“W-Wait! Stand down!” one of the men further back yelled as more of the ravaged crew rushed her. “That woman is the Oni Princess, the daughter of Kaido. She has a bounty over 1 billion berries!”

Michelle’s jaw dropped in spite of herself, but she quickly regained her wits and scrambled out of the way as Sakura continued to slash at the advancing invader pirates. She flipped over one man’s head as he tried to bring down his axe on top of her, alighting neatly behind him and slicing him in half. Now facing Michelle, she could see the blood splattering Sakura’s pink form, flecks of it hitting her face and she felt more than a little queasy.

“Michelle!” At the sound of her name, she turned to see Spice flying over to her, alighting in the sand beside her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Michelle had scarcely gotten the confirmation out before Spice had rounded on the invading pirates. “Hey assholes! Eat this!” A ball of flaming golden light strangely shaped like a Jack O’ Lantern suddenly burst from her palm and shot into a small crowd of the ragged pirate crew. It exploded on impact and sent several of them flying backwards. They didn’t get up again. Meanwhile, Sakura continued to cut down more of the attackers one by one, her moves practiced and seemingly effortless.

However, a second later, another cannon ball hit the sand and erupted upon hitting the ground close by, spraying shrapnel and dust everywhere.

“Michelle, get down!” Spice quickly shielded her from the explosion before whirling around on Sakura. “We gotta take out that boat!”

“On it.” The other woman replied simply, having just cut down the last of the attacking pirates. She then turned and held calmly sheathed the smaller silver sword before taking the large gold one in both hands. Poised to strike, she aimed at the ghost ship drifting several yards from the shore, seemingly reading its cannons for another bombardment.

“Shokuryu!” Sakura yelled before bringing the sword down hard, slashing through the air and creating a strangely beautiful golden arc through the air. It rocketed across the shallow waves at breakneck speed before colliding with the ship and cutting it neatly in two. The ship exploded into two large pieces, splintering apart into dozens of others as it hit the waves. More distant screaming could be heard from those left on board as the pieces were slowly consumed by the ocean’s waves and then there was just an eerie silence.

Michelle stared at Sakura as she looked on at the carnage she created, surrounded by the corpses of the ragged pirates. She was breathing heavily, standing with her sword still firmly grasped in both hands and her clothes covered in blood and also staining her face and hands. However, as Michelle looked on she could see that Sakura’s eyes were bright, wild, even feral. She was also grinning broadly from ear to ear.

A shiver passed through the other young woman.

Spice looked at her. “You good?”

Michelle exhaled. “Yeah. I think so.” Still a little shaken, she managed to make it to her feet with only minimal support from Spice.

Meanwhile, Sakura wiped the blood from her sword and slipped it back into it’s sheath on her back. Absentmindedly, she wiped at some of the blood drying on her cheek.

“Sakura!” A deep familiar voice suddenly called out from across the beach.

The three girls all turned towards it to see Katakuri hurrying towards them. He was holding his black trident Mogura tightly in one hand and his half-hidden features were tight with concern.

However, upon seeing him, Sakura’s expression immediately returned to the bright cheerfulness that she had exhibited before the fight. “Katakuri!” she bounded across the beach towards him in two strides, jumping into his arms and causing him to drop his weapon in the sand.

“Sakura-” Katakuri repeated, slightly taken aback as she wrapped her arms around his neck, grinning at him while he supported her by the waist. “Are you alright? You’re covered in-”

“It’s not my blood,” Sakura interrupted. “Don’t worry, we’re all fine. We took care of it.”

“I see.” Katakuri let go of his hold on Sakura and she pulled her hands back from his neck.

“I can handle myself, Katakuri. You keep forgetting that.”

“Oh wow…So Katakuri still can’t see the outcome of events involving Sakura,” Spice whispered from beside Michelle, causing her to turn towards her in surprise. “His future sight is clouded around her.”

Michelle felt a strange feeling as she took this information in, watching Sakura interact with her husband, smiling and laughing as if nothing had happen. She remembered what the invading pirates, who had been ravaged by the New World so much, they had been desperate enough to try and raid an island in Tottoland, had said when they saw Sakura. She was the daughter of Kaido, the Oni Princess with a bounty nearly as big as Katakuri, the strongest Sweet Commander and the most powerful of Big Mom’s many children.

It now made sense to Michelle why Big Mom had wanted Sakura to marry her son. Despite her outward appearance and personality, she was a monster, just like her father.

“Hey! Do you guys wanna stay for dinner!” Sakura called over to Spice and Michelle, jerking the latter out of her thoughts.

“Yeah. Sure!” Spice called back. “That’s okay with you, right Michelle?”

“Yeah, it should be fine. I think I should call Cracker when we get back, so he knows where I am.”

“Awesome! Let’s go!” Sakura grabbed Katakuri’s hand and pulled him past the other two girls towards the steps that lead off the beach and back up onto the street.

“Sorry about how today went,” Spice apologized as she helped Michelle up the steps after them. “I was hoping you would get some time to relax.”

“No! It’s alright. I still had a great day,” Michelle reassured her. “It was a lot of fun hanging out with you two.”

Spice’s expression brightened. “Really? I’m glad.”

As they made it to the top of the steps, Michelle could see that Katakuri was now walking in step beside Sakura, leading her along with his arm wrapped lightly around her waist. She also caught a glimpse of his face, mostly hidden by his scarf and could see that his cheeks were slightly flushed as he listened to Sakura explain the day’s events.

The way he was looking at his wife, even so subtly out of just the corner of his gaze, a warm light could still be seen in his eyes.

Michelle smiled to herself as she and Spice walked along behind them. “Cute.”

 To be continued in “Michelle Goes to Yakigashi Island”

[atopearth]

Fate/hollow ataraxia Part 2 - Food is Bliss (Phase 2)

What?! So, Bazett dying is something normal? She dies, he takes her home and she starts breathing again eventually?? Or does it just restart back in this house after they both die? Wow, they can practically never die since they’ll always revive back at the house, unfairrr! Anyway, Avenger huh? I guess he’s Angra Mainyu? Since he sounds like just a culmination of all the hatred and violence, whilst also being someone that’s weak enough that he can’t physically fight and win against other Servants? I guess it’s good that Bazett is his Master then since she’s so great at hand to hand combat~ Did Bazett actually summon two Servants? And the other one was Lancer and that’s why he’s able to stay in this world even though Kotomine is gone? Actually maybe she just made a contract with Lancer? I’m not sure how I feel about Bazett as a character, in a way she’s interesting in that she fights to protect the “correct” way of life, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like she really cares since she seems to just feel like she needs to do this rather than this is what she wants to do? On the other hand, Avenger definitely has more thoughts and feelings towards things than he lets out with his superficial personality that he shows to kinda hide what’s inside.

Anyway, is that ghost house Shirou went to the place where Bazett and Avenger revive? Omgg hahaha, I love how when Sakura and Shirou had to cook dinner for heaps of people on the weekend, they started early on the brainstorming as to what they should cook, and when they were doing it, Shirou would refer to her as Chef Matou and Sakura would call him Chief Emiya hahahaa, they’re so cute! I think it’s one of the few times you actually get to see Sakura get full on cooking guidance from Shirou rather than the usual where they kinda just help each other out cooking their own thing. I wish we got to see the reactions of everyone eating the persimmon dinner! It would have been fun! I wanted to see the fruits of their efforts~ Oh well. It’s kinda saddening to think but it’s true that above all else, Rider is a monster that can and will eat humans if it comes to it, I mean, in the Fate route etc, it was apparent that she was unnerved over killing and devouring humans after all. As she said, she’s never been a noble spirit like Saber. LOL at Shirou wondering how it could be possible that young Gilgamesh is a nice little boy hahahah. I love their after dinner antics, lmao at Taiga losing her after dinner snacks to Saber through blackjack, she really gambles everything away haha. It was cute how Shirou scolded them🤣

Lmaoo, trust Illya to tease Saber for having a stuffed lion toy and then forcing Shirou to go buy her one too lol. HAHAHA, I love how Shirou teased Mitsuzuri’s little brother (Minori) about liking Sakura and tried to dig why he likes her🤣 Gotta love how much of a spoiled brat Taiga is to knee drop Shirou to play with her when he’s trying to sleep lmao. Honestly though, with the relationship Shirou and Taiga have, I can’t deny that I kinda wanted a Taiga route in FSN haha. Omg, I nearly died laughing at Shinji sulking at the harbour port for appearing only 3 times in the game when Sakura’s appeared so many times hahahahah. It feels like Shirou is the most smitten with Saber after all~ It was so cute when she discussed with him why bras and underwear had to have so many designs lmao. LOL, so it was Rin the troublemaker that told Saber to consult Shirou about it just because she thought it would be funny hahahahha. It was pretty hilarious when she insisted on Shirou accompanying her to the lingerie shop and Shirou ran away, but the icing on the cake was when Sakura and Rider overheard their conversation and Sakura wished her good luck on this quest lmaoo. Btw, I love how Shirou experiments making different snacks and he gets Saber the glutton to try them hahaha, so cute. Omgg Saber’s face enjoying Shirou’s baked sweet potatoes was so precious, she looked so happy🥺🥰 Lmao at Lancer picking up Makidera and them, and even saying his speciality is the javelin throw, I guess he’s not exactly wrong or lying hahahaha. Lancer being a part time florist is definitely a win win situation for him, he gets to pick up girls and earn some money haha!

I quite enjoyed Mitsuzuri’s meeting with Lancer, they got along pretty well due to their interest in martial arts etc, Mitsuzuri was so cuteee! I love how Shirou ended up bringing the party of Saber, Sakura and Rider to help clean Rin’s house hahaha, it’s true that with all her antiques and carpets etc it can be rather difficult by himself, not to mention how large the place is too! HAHAHA when Saber changed into her armour to clean Rin’s house. Lmaooo at Saber thinking all the gym equipment in the basement was what Rin tried to use as a catalyst to summon her but failed, it was so adorable when she started playing around with them all instead of cleaning hahahah, didn’t think Saber would be a bludger!🤣 It was really sweet to see Sakura’s reactions to things around the house, it was so adorable how she talked about Rin giving her the precious handmade ribbon (that’s on her hair) as a parting gift and saying Sakura has to repay it with a compounding interest rate lmao. It’s cute how she wanted Sakura to always feel connected to her through this “debt ”. Awww how cute of Saber to play with the lion plushie and even sleep with it at night!! She’s so cute!! Shirou totally deserved Saber’s wrath for teasing her about it so ruthlessly hahahah. Sakura is so mischievous! She literally just wrote down everything Shirou said in the letter to Rin hahaha, I love Sakura in this, she’s so cute but cunning at the same time hahaha. Omggg how embarrassing for Sakura that Shirou caught her hugging his jacket so lovingly hahahah! So cute though when she got all flustered. It was really thoughtful of her to notice that his button fell off and sewed it back for him.

Aww Rider going to school just to give Sakura and Shirou their lunches (that Sakura forgot) was cute, I also really enjoyed how Shirou ended up buying her food for them to enjoy together on the rooftop, it was really sweet of him. I don’t know, but Saber welcoming Shirou home and thanking him for his hard work at his job was so heartwarming, it really made me think she was such a great girl. I can’t believe this but my love for Rin is going to be at the same level as Saber if this goes on hahaha, Rin come back soon pls. I found it hilarious that Rider is so dissatisfied with bike number two that is mainly used for casual shopping, and really wants to use bike number one which is a racing bike, but Shirou is scared that she’ll be zooming around the neighbourhood like a rocket and refuses, which is very logical!! Lmao, just imagining Rider at her superhuman speed riding on that bike is killing me hahaha. Omg hahahah, that silly drawing of him imagining Rider being chased by the police on the bike and her escaping happily was so funny and cute LOL. Hahahaha, I loved how Rider tried to use her seductive skills to make Shirou bend to her will so she can use the bike, but then Sakura appears overhearing them, so she immediately runs away and leaves Shirou to deal with the misunderstanding hahahah. Honestly though, seeing Saber and Sakura co-operate happily making pie and enjoying the fruits of their efforts was so cute. They used to be rather awkward even though they got along relatively okay, so it’s pretty nice and refreshing to see that if they had the time to bond more, they could actually be so friendly.

I think I’m starting to see how and why some people might like Fate/hollow ataraxia more than the original game, because wow, seeing Sakura grow so much and become the captain of the archery club was so cool. I absolutely loved how resolute and strong she was, and I loved how she scolded Taiga for being a nuisance hahaha. It was so funny yet so cool to see that. And it’s not something sudden too, because Mitsuzuri stayed, supported and guided her into establishing more self confidence in herself into being a worthy captain so I’m glad it all worked out. Although it’s obvious Sakura would be a great captain seeing how she carries herself at the Emiya household haha. I also absolutely loved how she fed Shirou the obanyaki when they went shopping after, and it was honestly so beautiful and heartwarming to see how truly happy Sakura was. Not only is she now able to have a proper life where she’s spending time with people in the club and making friends with others whilst actually playing around doing other activities, she is also able to truly live for herself and not live in fear of anything in the Matou household. It’s so wonderful to see how nothing is holding her back anymore, and honestly this is the best ending for Sakura, or I guess, it’s more like a new beginning for her! I’m so glad they showed all this. Sakura used to think she didn’t have the right to play around and stuff, so seeing her enjoy all that made me feel really satisfied haha.

Confused Caster walking around the shopping district wondering what she should buy to make for dinner was cute haha. HAHAHA, I love how Caster and Sakura became friends because Lancer was trying to pick up Sakura and Caster hates his flippy attitude so she taught him a lesson lol. It was even more hilarious when Sakura subtly kept badmouthing Rin for using Shirou like a servant and Shirou not minding it hahaha, I think it was pretty funny how Shirou didn’t even realise or he ignored the fact that Sakura was talking about him and Rin haha. Omgg snake wine with a snake in it?! Reminds me of the crazy Chinese concoctions hahaha. Anyway, I really loved how persistent but considerate Shirou was into finding out what Rider likes to eat and what she doesn’t eat. I think it was really cool that rather than giving up after she said she doesn’t particularly mind whatever he and Sakura cooks, he instead asked her to come to the kitchen and get her to choose what she would prefer to eat from the ingredients they have. I really love how thoughtful Shirou is in changing his approach several times in order to get Rider to enjoy her food rather than just feel apathetic about it all. Lmao at Saber getting jealous that she doesn’t get to choose even though Shirou asks her what she wants to eat all the time hahaha. LMAO at Saber’s reaction to octopus and not realising she’s been gobbling it up all this time when she ate takoyaki hahahah. I love how through their “fight” about the weird things they eat, Shirou gets to understand a bit more about what Rider actually prefers to eat. Rin is hilarious for making Saber wear the fancy clothes Caster sent to them hahahah, it was so cute how traumatised Saber was hahaha. Shirou imagining Issei in a frilly dress was LOL, that cursed image hahaha. Hahahaha, I love how Saber didn’t give up on eating high class food when Shirou told her they were poor, and instead said that they should raise/make the ingredients themselves so that they could cook it in the future. It was so cute when she started talking about raising ducks and pigs hahhaha. Issei being fond of sweets is cute haha.

I don’t know why but I never thought about Kiritsugu’s grave at all lol! I never thought it would be in the forest at the Ryuudou Temple graveyard though! I wonder if Illya and Saber would ever go visit…but then again, Shirou doesn’t even go so I think it’ll be harder for them. Wow, I didn’t think I needed it, but hearing Kuzuki call Caster his wife and leave her in Shirou’s hands (to learn cooking lmao) was so..amusing LOL. On the other hand, Reikan (Issei’s brother) is a pretty cool guy! He’s chill, full of confidence but also a strict serious guy, I can see why Issei would admire him. He gets along nicely with Taiga since they were classmates so it’s pretty cute. I…feel so sorry for Shirou that he was caught between Otoko/Neko (his part time job boss) and Taiga, they’re monsters… Hmmm, the actual story part is quite short as usual. It was expected that the white hair girl was the one who restarted the holy grail war, but why does she become possessed and have claws come out of her? Poor Shirou dieddd! Is she hiding a monster inside that comes out when it meets Shirou at the wrong time? Hahaha. Anyway, I’m curious about her so I hope we’ll get more story stuff in phase 3.

[fatebeastbirthorder]

I was also reminded of a very old idea I had for a variation of the 5th War

Rin summons Saber-Class Muramasa

Shirou summons Ruler Class Goddess Rhongomyniad, with Rhongomyniad, Excalibur and her horse

Bazett just summons Cu as a Lancer

Sakura summons Prototype Merlin as a “Grand”-Caster

Illya summons Alter Ego Tiamat

Merem Solomon summons Arcueid as a Funny Vamp Class

And Rani VIII summons EMYIAssassin

And the results are... Horrifying to say the least if you think about them, and even more so with all the ridiculous things I had planned and never finished 

Muramasa is actually one of the more normal ones in the war in terms of plans as he was pretty much just planned to be the straight man to everyone else’s antics

Tiamat adopts Illya and changes her to be more like her own children, which does little to her actual morality but lets her actually live like a child-teen and grow and all that fluffy stuff 

Merlin keeps growing flowers in Zouken’s Basement, which somehow makes it more disturbing even if they can’t figure out why exactly

Shinji becomes a eunuch and it’s not by choice as Merlin takes away his dick privileges 

Rin spends most of the War in quiet panic over Muramasa’s appearance given that a) he’s shirtless pretty much all of the time as his standard servant outfit and b) he looks like Shirou. So she spends a lot of time dressing him up between scenes with baseball caps, the casual outfit Saber usually wore, at one point puts her skirt on him just to see what he would look like crossdressing, probably a full suit of armor at some point, etc.

Rhongomyniad is straight out of the end of the Camelot singularity with the added bonus of remembering the Fate Route, and by extension Fate/Zero, so she offers to try and make it up to Illya, semi-projecting Mordred on her and trying to actually be a parent for once now that her emotions are semi-returing due to Excalibur and the local presence of a Merlin

But with Tiamat there, there are complications and she can’t be a ‘mother’ in comparison. Even if Shirou is the Mother that cooks and cleans and Tiamat is just the doting mother

Rhongomyniad makes a compromise and decides to be the father to Shirou and Illya. Tiamat would complain, but Shirou is Illya’s brother and the brother of her daughter is her son and she couldn’t actually care less about what  Rhongomyniad considers herself to be toward the two of them as long as she doesn’t get in her way

Bazett still gets betrayed, but then fixed by Tiamat’s Sea of Life, at which point she hunts down Kirei, kicks his ass, steals back Lancer, then they become minibosses together as a pair who actually wants to win the war or actually fight. Added on to by the corruption of Tiamat’s Sea of Life that pretty much empowers them both immensely and makes them conceptually against Humanity

Bazett’s new arm is a Lahmu that keeps talking to her, much to her horror in spite of her state

Merlin shows up with Sakura eventually and the whole home situation just gets more confusing. Even more when Rin finally gives up and decides to join the currently growing faction, leaving four servants together on one side

Tiamat takes the Angra Mainyu arm that kept Bazett alive as per Hollow Ataraxia canon and shows up in the Emiya Residence with the Shirou looking Angra Mainyu. Everyone notices but no one is brave enough to ask

Sakura slowly goes Dark due to the close presence of Angra Mainyu and being in the local mana of multiple servants of such a high level of power both she and Illya are slowly filled as Lesser Grails even in spite of the fact no servants died yet. Angra avoids Sakura because of that, trying to fake innocence

Gilgamesh is aware of Tiamat being in Fuyuki and he’s almost scared shitless

Not only do they contact the Magus Association that the War is compromised to the point of the Counter Force likely interfering and maybe wiping the world clean, they also contact the Church

And then more fun things happen

Caren shows up, Waver gets called in, both to be extra masters and Luvia buys her way in. Some more probably as well cause I didn’t think that far ahead yet

The Einzberns also show up, being as secretive as possible and changing the Grail a little to enforce some…things. Like a Grand War and a Ruler. And yet somehow they miss and or ignore Angra out of pride

So, seven(?) new masters banded together to face the threat that is the joined force of Tiamat, Muramasa, Merlin and Rhongomyniad

Except summoning goes wrong as the World, Grail and Alaya decide to take things into their own hands and cause the summoning of nigh-ridiculous things. Including summoning Ishtar into Rin’s body

Kama also gets summoned into Sakura’s body and that does not help things in terms of her going Dark

And then Archer EMIYA comes in later down the line as a Counter Guardian rather than a servant to gawk in disbelief at how wrong everything went compared to his memories of his experience in the War

All the while, Merem is in a reverse Master-Servant relationship with Arcueid due to being a fanboy, taking orders from her rather than the reverse

And Rani is trying to figure out how the hell to kill several nigh if not truly divine individuals along with Assassin. By all rights, the two are a pair focused on efficiency and would pretty much permit each other to do what they would need to do, but the whole war is just leaving them out of their element through ridiculousness 

All of which leaves the situation in a state where

Tiamat could go wild at any point and swap from an Alter Ego to a Beast Class

Cu has Gae Bolg and Bazett has Fragranach, making them both threats that are immensely difficult to take care of since they can either certainly kill and counter the strongest attacks respectively 

Rhongomyniad has the combined powers of the lance and Excalibur, making her a threat that could wipe all of Fuyuki in a heartbeat 

Merlin is pretty much the one expected to keep Tiamat from going on a rampage, but she is too busy being Merlin

There is a True Ancestor Servant on the loose with the Rank Twenty Dead Apostle Ancestor, both of whom are confirmed and active threats to humanity on their own 

There is a constant presence of an immensely skilled Assassin looming over everyone and trying to find a moment in which he can kill them before everything goes to shit or he dies

ANOTHER Beast starts to manifest in the form of Dark Sakura combined with Kama, threatening to become even more powerful the more servants die

Gilgamesh could get out of his fear chair at any moment and threaten the balance of the war with the Gate of Babylon and Ea

The Counter Force can, and eventually will, start acting against them, aiming to wipe out all of Fuyuki if not Japan to get rid of the collected threat this entire thing has caused, and everyone knows it

And Shirou has to cook for all of them

[dimancheetoile]

summer is sweet (but blood is sweeter)

part 3 of the “The Haruno Clan is a samurai clan” AU

part 1 - part 2

ShikaSaku - rated T

read it on AO3

“So you won't take the citizenship?”

Sakura snorts. She takes her eyes off the blade she's sharpening and eyes the bandages around Shikamaru's hand. He looks away, so she goes back to her blade.

“I'm not sure what you'll be able to do in the village,” he says, something slightly haughty in his voice.

She gives him the side-eye. “Are you really so privileged? I know you're from a clan, but is it such a rich one that you can afford your obliviousness?”

“You don't need to speak to me like that.”

She laughs, sharp and quick like the katana she's sheathing back. “There is always need of a blade for hire in a hidden village, shinobi-kun. If only because you're all so expensive most of the citizens can't afford you. And trust me, that's enough for bloody business to develop in the underground. If you're too blind to see that, maybe you all need a crash course in politics.” She ties the katana to her hip. “I can't believe I'm more knowledgable on the issue than you are.”

Shikamaru crosses his arms. “That might be true in Kiri, or Suna, but I really don't think we have that going on in Konoha.”

Her wide eyes are mocking him. She doesn't answer, but her snort of laughter is enough. “We'll see how long it takes me to find a job, Shikamaru. In the meantime, go back to your diplomacy and flashy fights. It looks to me like you ninja don't know how to do anything else.”

She leaves him behind without another word. The more time she spends in Konoha, the more disappointed she is in everything and everyone. Especially Shikamaru. Bastard. I thought I could trust you. She should have known better than to place her hopes in a man willing to lie with a woman like her. That might just have been his plan all along, after all. Didn't he get his intel, without having to infiltrate anything more than her cousin's ass? And he got a free lay with Sakura. How foolish of her.

The inn she's staying at was picked by the Hokage, so it's full to the brim with shinobi who don't have a qualm talking about village business where she can hear it. All the more for her if she decides to leave. That kind of intel might just save her life once she's out.

They look at her funny when she gets inside, probably because the first thing she did after the Hokage paid her for her secrets was to buy a battle kimono.

In pure spite, she had chosen a bright orange one, with a muddy yellow haori. The armour she wears to protect her chest is dark red and it clashes horribly with both her hair and the colour of the kimono. She hates it. It's awesome. She's everything but discreet and it offers her the perfect kind of attention.

No one takes a fighter seriously dressed in those colours. All the better that she carries the protection seal of the Hokage, because in that case, it means she can afford to dress like that precisely because she's dangerous as fuck.

She likes the looks the shinobi send her. The youngest ones are chuckling, trying not to show too much how ridiculous they think she looks. The oldest, the toughest ones? They eye her like she's rogue Mist, and she revels in it. She gets a seat at the back of the room, beneath a window facing the busy street. It's early evening and families are still outside.

A waitress with a missing eye and a deep burn scar on the neck comes to take her order. A wave of nostalgia washes over her body, the feeling of uncertainty in her recent decisions making her sick. So she asks for a bottle of plum liquor from Iron, the alcohol she's enjoyed the most since her father made her drink herself sick when she was ten.

It doesn't surprise her when, a second after the waitress disappear, three shinobi sit in front of her. She eyes them warily. The first one is dressed all in green, and his dark hair reminds her of the nobles at the daimyō's court . She tenses at the danger he inspires in her. He might look goofy, but his aura is way too strong, and his broad shoulders speak of incredible strength.

The second man has red tattoos on his cheeks, and she's sure she's seen them somewhere before. His grin is feral, so she looks away quickly to find the only woman, just as broad-shouldered as the first man, her tan skin healthy in the setting sun.

“What can I do for you, shinobi?”

The tattooed man smirks. “We thought we'd get to know each other, rōnin-sama. Hinata had a lot to say about you.”

Why does she know that name? Oh, Kami. He's on first name basis with the Hokage. Just great. At least he wasn't being sarcastic when he used the honorific. And that's when she recognises the marks.

“You're an Inuzuka!”

“Yes, I am,” he grins, proud and loud like only clan children can be.

Sakura stares, like he's a piece of jewellery on display. What an odd sight, that confidence, that trust in the safety of his home. Then again, he knows the Hokage well enough to call her by her first name. No wonder he can smile like that.

“I've worked with yours before,” she says, careful not to say too much. She's unsure of how well-spread the news of her treason are. “You respect our work. I appreciate that.”

His nod is sincere. “Samurai are great trackers, even better hunters. We complement each others. The Inuzuka have a great deal of respect for your art, swordsman.”

She hums pensively, almost liking that young man who trusts too much and thinks swordsmanship is an art. “So what's your deal? Why come talk to me?”

“'cause you brought Shika back,” the woman says finally.

“And thanks to you, we can now take down the Haruno spies in our precious village, my lady rōnin,” the dark-haired man adds. And that answers what they know about her situation. She has to take a minute to swallow the fact that secrets are so easily shared in a supposedly hidden village.

“I'm Inuzuka Kiba. This is Rock Lee and Hyūga Tenten.”

Sakura does a double-take. That woman looks nothing like a Hyūga. She must have married inside the clan, which makes it all the more obvious that those people have a high position in Konoha politics.

“If it's alright with you, we'd like to introduce you to the rest of our friends,” Tenten says. “They're very excited to meet you.”

Sakura doesn't even try to hide the disbelief on her face. “Sure, I guess.”

“Right, follow us, then!”

Because, apparently, the rest of their friends is sitting a few metres away and has been listening to their entire exchange. Konoha fuckers. There's a lot of them, but they already made room for her and the three who came to get her, so she can't use that as an excuse to get the fuck out of that bar.

She's about to sit when a familiar ponytail catches her attention. She has to blink a few times, because that can't be happening, that's not possible, she was—

“I thought you were dead,” Sakura whispers, her voice cracking as she stares.

The chatter at the table quiets down, everyone having caught on what she just said. Something is stuck in her throat. She wants to cry.

“I thought you were dead,” she repeats, a sob echoing in the last word. “They told me you were executed. They told me it was my fault!”

She can't stop the tears from coming. For years, she had burnt incense at the little shrine she built in secret, deep in the Haruno Estate. She had prayed every day for forgiveness, for the rest of the spirit of her oldest, dearest friend. The only person she was every allowed to talk to. Until they tried to escape together, servant and master, hand in hand.

“They brought me back your hair and told me I would never be allowed to speak to another child until I completed my training,” she says, bitterness coating her tongue. “I was whipped once for every day we spent together,” she adds, her voice low, and that gets a gasp from the ghost in front of her. “We knew each other for five hundred and ninety-eight days.”

“Ojō-sama...”

“DON'T CALL ME THAT!”

A low whine escapes from her throat, her sobs unstoppable.

“Was Shira even your real name?” Her laugh is hysterical. “Of course not. After all, you were just a Leaf spy sent to steal our secrets.” She looks at all the blank faces around the table, some shocked, most of them grim. “Here I thought hidden villages were soft. But sending a ten-year-old to spy on an even younger child? That takes some guts. I'm impressed,” she spits.

“Sakura? Ino? Is everything okay?”

She turns around, finding Shikamaru looking at them with worry. She shakes her head, nausea making her take a stabilizing step back.

“Enjoy your evening, Ino-chan.”

She leaves the tavern without looking back.

[kusunokihime-a]

◆ - standing up for them (((can I has this from Naruto for your Sasuke? :3)))

[Send a symbol for my muse to respond to your muse ][ @kyuuzuchiha ][ Accepting ]

     He expects the animosity. Part of him might even think he deserves it.

     When he first returns to Konoha, Uchiha Sasuke is not an entirely welcome man. Charged with desertion, among other things, he does a brief stint in jail before those close to him threaten rebellion. After all, they know the truth: what Konoha truly owes Sasuke, his brother, their clan. Even if no one else can know - not yet - they won’t stand for this treatment of one of the last Uchiha. Not after everything committed against him and his kin.

     But being waived of his so-called crimes legally doesn’t guarantee the acceptance socially. Eyes weigh heavy on his back wherever he goes, and it’s not long before he decides - for now - to take his leave.

     A few of them try to urge him to stay. Some even offer to go with him. But this is a journey he must make alone: one of self-reflection. His past ten years have been hard...and it’s time to figure out what those still before him will bring.

     ...but he’s not gone long.

     A letter from Sakura urges him back. He finds, in Konoha, the last thing he expected to see: a brother, alive and well. That alone brings a shift to his perspective.

     ...with these remaining pieces back in place...maybe he can begin to call Konoha home again.

     Itachi’s recovery is slow. And their efforts to continue airing out the village’s shadows only seem to stoke the fires of mistrust some feel against what remain of the Uchiha. But they made due in spite of the occasional confrontation.

     And they aren’t alone.

     Public outings aren’t his favorite - in fact, he’d rather avoid them. But Naruto is adamant he accompany the blond to some new cafe, spouting off things like getting back into the community, proving the rumors wrong, and some such nonsense. He cares little about rumors. And he has plans of how to get back into the community. He just needs time...and a little (much to his pride’s suffering) help from another clan.

     “Tch, there he is...”

     The comment is made well within earshot, and with volume that tells it’s not meant to go unheard. Its obvious enough who it’s aimed at.

     “Can’t believe they let that asshole just walk around wherever he wants...”

     Sasuke ignores them, eye trained on the menu. But across from him, Naruto’s gaze is clearly not focused on the laminated paper, gaining an intensity that betrays how all-too-familiar this feels.

     “They shoulda let him rot in j-”

     “OI!”

     Sasuke breathes a light sigh through his nose, waiting another moment before raising his one-eyed gaze to his teammate. Naruto stands, palms slapped atop the table, glaring with seething sapphires at the group in question.

     The rest of the restaurant goes silent. All eyes train on the blond.

     “I’d like to remind you that the only reason you’re sittin’ here, spoutin’ off yer crap, is because of this man right here!” Naruto points a finger at his friend. “Case you forgot, all of you were about to become tree food until Sasuke, Sakura and I stopped a rabbit goddess from turning you all into mindless plant servants! So, a little respect is in order, don’tcha think?!”

     Across from the Uzumaki, back to their antagonizers, Sasuke manages just a hint of a smile.

     When he’s met with no retort, Naruto plops back into his seat with a huff and crossed arms. “Might wanna keep better tabs on your clients!” he yells as one last jab to whoever on the staff might be listening (not that they can help hearing his rafter-raising tone). “No one’s gonna wanna eat someplace where people act so rude!”

     Sasuke snorts. “They might not enjoy an idiot who can’t manage his volume in a public place, either.”

     Eyes squinting, Naruto pauses. “...whaddaya mean?”

     “...forget it.”

[ariphyll]

and your eyes, they hide a thousand words

--- Chapter 1: Preface

Ao3 Ver.

Xander/Takumi --- Arranged Marriage AU

Word Count: 2382

Summary: Regardless of what may come, Takumi knew that going through with this marriage was the best option for Hoshido. He would get used to Nohr and King Xander in time, he would have to, otherwise it would all fall apart at the seams.

A/N: I've had this first chapter sitting in my docs for months now. Perhaps if I post it I'll finally sit down and finish the next one. (I'll finish this fic even if it kills me I swear.)

Also, why not follow me on my twitter? Collect me on every platform to have me help put Fire Emblem rarepairs on your feed

Takumi had to remind himself over and over again as his carriage pulled him through the heart of Nohr why he was doing this. Why he was allowing himself to be whisked away to a bleak country and live under dark skies and clouds for the rest of his life. A political marriage is not something anyone wishes for, but it was his duty as a prince of Hoshido to do whatever was needed for his home.

It was clear that by the end of the war a marriage would be an extra facet needed to help cement the bonds between Hoshido and Nohr. Even if the two sides of Corrin’s army had come to a mild peace the rest of their countries still had heavy wounds to heal. Who better a choice for Nohr’s half of the marriage than King Xander himself?

When it came to Hoshido’s side however, it was a bit more difficult. Even if Ryoma hadn’t married during the war, acting for once on emotions rather than bleak rationale, wedding two kings together would be a dangerous arrangement. There was too much risk of tempted foul play and over-exerting power. So that left Takumi and his siblings to take up the empty role.

Hinoka was the first in line to be the marriage candidate and almost was for a short time. However, before the deal could be arranged Takumi had volunteered on impulse. Nothing about the prospect of marriage in Nohr thrilled him but it was no hidden fact that Hinoka only had eyes for women and the battlefield. It was only kind to spare her of a marriage keeping her trapped in Nohr, and Takumi wasn't going to try and pin it off on Sakura. It was a fair deal that the available sibling who was already dedicating himself to politics marry for it as well.

Even if the betrothal meant leaving his family and home for a make-shift Nohrian one. He would have to adjust eventually, right?

The journey to Castle Krakenburg was a slow process but Takumi wasn't going to cry about being a day or two late. Glancing across the small carriage he rode in, he watched his retainers doze together. He was grateful he could take them with him at least. Takumi didn't exactly have many close friends even at home, and that number was only going to drop while in Nohr. Everything about the situation seemed a little less bleak with his retainers there by his side though.

His wedding to King Xander would take place in two weeks once he arrived, and from then on Takumi would be officially tied to Nohr. There would be a ceremony in Hoshido a month or so later to celebrate his marriage, but after that he had no idea when he would see his home again. He could probably search out reasons to have to travel back there from time to time…

Takumi looked out the carriage window at the clouded sky. He would have to read up more on Nohrian weather and climate. Surely everyone was exaggerating over how little raw sunlight they get? He knew of the country’s barren lands but he couldn’t see how people could survive in a place of near-constant darkness.

A yawn caught his attention and Takumi turned his head to see Oboro stretching in her seat.

“Comfortable?” Takumi asked, leaning back against the carriage wall.

“Upright isn’t my favorite sleeping position, but it could be worse,” she responded. “Want me to ask someone how much farther, milord?”

Takumi tilted his head to look out the window at an angle, trying to see ahead of them. “No, it's fine. I think I see looming walls so Windmire can’t be that far off.”

Oboro huffed, folding her arms. “Everything looks the same to me. Nohr isn't what I’d call the most colorful place.”

“Perhaps inside the walls it’ll be a bit more lively. It can’t all be so… dark.” Takumi paused, watching Oboro for a moment before turning his eyes back out. “You didn't need to stay in my service. I know Nohr holds no good memories for you, and even if you say most of your hatred has healed... I had offered to let you go before we left for a reason.”

“My answer is still the same as then, milord.” Oboro gave him a weary smile. “Even if Nohr is still- unfavorable, I still swore to be your retainer. And there's… good people here. Even if it’s difficult to remember at times, there are.” Her smile grew brighter. “Besides, if I let just Hinata protect you you'll surely wind up hurt.”

Takumi huffed a small laugh. “I do feel better having you both here, that's for certain…”

A short silence passed between them before Oboro spoke up. “Are you nervous?”

“Depends, nervous over what?” Takumi kept his voice guarded and even. It would do no good to let his retainer know he was anxious over almost everything about the situation.

“Your marriage,” Oboro said. “King Xander isn't exactly a… Well, he doesn’t seem the most personable man, milord.”

“Well it's good I'm not marrying him for personality, now am I?” Takumi said, evading the question. He didn’t bother on rebuking Oboro’s casual comments either. When they were alone, it was nice to just be friends. “He's at least just and cares for his country, I've been in enough war councils with him to know that. There's worse people I could end up marrying.”

Oboro stared at him, visibly trying to sift through his words. “I suppose you're right, milord, I apologize for bringing it up. Hopefully your marriage will be a peaceful one.”

Takumi nodded, dropping the conversation as fast as he could. The less discussion he had over his future wedlock the better. He much preferred to just ignore it until he couldn’t anymore.

It was getting easier to tell from the angle of his window that it was indeed Windmire they were headed towards. He could only guess how much longer until they reached the castle deep inside, but at least they were starting to see something that wasn't jagged land and distant, thick forest.

Takumi got to his feet, pushing open the carriage door a bit as he glanced over at Oboro. “I'm going to see how much longer. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Takumi supposed if there was one good thing to come about Nohr lacking the sun, it was that he wasn't blinded every time he stepped outside. He set a brisk pace towards the front of the line, searching for where Xander’s retainer, Laslow, was riding. He was a personal escort sent with the other  servants to help guide him safely to Nohr, and was at least a somewhat familiar face.

Spying him, Takumi hurried over. “Laslow, how much longer until we reach Windmire?”

Laslow hummed from atop his horse, a light smile on his face. “About two hours or less left I'd say. It’ll probably be late evening by that point.” Gods, it was already the afternoon? How was he supposed to tell time when he couldn’t see anything in the sky? “Growing restless, milord?”

“You could say that,” Takumi mumbled. “Any space becomes cramped after a while.”

“Well, once we reach the castle I'm sure you're legs will be in good use as you’re dragged around constantly. Two weeks isn't very long to help get you ready for the wedding.”

“I'm sure it'll be a nightmare but it's for the best.” Takumi bit back a sigh. Showing anything below neutrality wouldn’t do him any favors in the long run.

Laslow flashed what seemed almost like a sympathetic smile, biting his lip for a moment. “I’m... not originally from Nohr either, you know. Once you get used to the place though it really isn’t that bad. There’s just a bit of an adjustment period.”

Beyond talking about the wedding directly Takumi didn’t want this kind of conversation in the slightest. He didn't need pity shoved onto him, forced reassurance about how he would get used to this. He was well aware that time fixed most things - it didn’t mean he had to enjoy the process.

“I’m sure I’ll get used to it, I hope at least.” Takumi waved in farewell, trying to escape quickly before he could say anything else. “Thank you, Laslow. Uh, I’ll be heading back now.”

Despite leaving Laslow to carry them onwards, Takumi took his time walking back to his carriage. It did feel nice to stretch his legs after hours and hours of being cooped up. Running a hand through his hair, Takumi thought over how the weeks would pan out.

He would have to be fitted for clothes, first and foremost. Oboro, he was sure, would be fighting the whole time with the Nohrian seamstresses over what the final product would be. He would need lessons on certain dances, instructions on certain ceremonies. Laslow was right about two weeks being hardly enough time to ingrain another country’s traditions in him, but he would have to suffer through it.

After a few moments of walking alongside his carriage he stepped back in. Oboro was dozing once more, leaning against Hinata’s shoulder. With an inaudible sigh, Takumi curled up in a corner on his side to stare out the window. He supposed he could try to sleep the rest of the way there. He was grateful that the last few days of travel had kept his dreams peaceful, but it still didn’t stop him from sleeping as little as possible while in close quarters.

After a few hours and Takumi had managed to come back to the world of the waking, they had made their way deep into Windmire. He could see Castle Krakenburg looming up ahead, and it was only a few more minutes before everything stopped. Stretching, Takumi moved to leave the cramped carriage. As he stepped out, Laslow was already there, hand stretching to open the door himself. He took a step back, surprise flickering across his face but he covered it up with a smile.

“The other soldiers and servants can help your retainers move your things inside,” Laslow said. “Milord and the other royal siblings are waiting for you up front.”

And I'm sure a large amount of nobles hiding and watching as well, Takumi thought. Leo had told him before that the Nohrian court could be much more vicious than Hoshido’s. Especially back when concubines ran wild the Nohrian nobility was in complete shambles. Leo had said Xander planned to replace most of his advisors and keep the other lords in check, but Takumi knew you couldn't get rid of every watchful bird lurking around. If there was noble Hoshidans still itching for war, there had to be some here as well.

As Laslow and him walked side by side, Takumi kept his face as neutral as possible. He could see the Nohrian family standing a few yards away and while there wasn't too extreme of a respect issue here, especially with the younger siblings, he didn't want to already cause tension. Overly formal was better than accidentally impolite.

Elise, however, had little intention of being formal. She bounded up to Takumi, grabbing his hands with a broad smile. “Prince Takumi! I'm so glad you made it here safe!”

During the war, Takumi and Elise had made a begrudging friendship of sorts. Well, it was begrudging on his side. Even after losing a great deal of his prejudice against Nohr, Elise was still just too much sometimes for him. Leo wasn’t much better when he was running his mouth, but at least a good book would get him quiet for a bit. The two siblings exerted their energies in different ways but Takumi could still wind up with a headache from either of them.

Elise tugged him along towards the rest of the royals, a bounce in her step. Her happiness was contagious though and Takumi felt a small smile start to tug at his lips. Princess Camilla let out a short, tinkling laugh as they approached.

“Elise dear, no need to drag him here.” She gave Takumi a warm look. “Welcome to Nohr, Prince Takumi.”

“Thank you, Princess Camilla.” Takumi said. The joy infecting him from Elise ebbed away and an awkward, nervous feeling took it’s place. He was most likely imagining the eyes on him but he felt them all the same.

He gave Prince Leo a curt nod in greeting before growing stiff as Xander approached. He was half a head taller than him, if not more. His armor did nothing to make him seem smaller as he easily lorded over Takumi. Even after seeing him throughout the war being right next him, Xander was... intimidating at best. Takumi was not one to back away easily from just nerves though.

Xander’s eyes were dark and stressed but not unkind. He grabbed one of Takumi’s hands to lift it slightly, leaning down the rest of the way to press a small kiss to the back of it. Xander was almost bowing to him like this, and Takumi wondered if that was the point. The more he looked at the situation the more this felt practiced and rehearsed, which he supposed made sense. An act played for the watching birds. He wondered if Xander felt any of the discomfort Takumi did.

“Prince Takumi,” Xander said, lifting his head up slightly. “I welcome you to my home, which in time will be yours as well. I hope you find everything well accommodated for you.”

A cynical part of Takumi reared up, wanting to laugh at the thought. Nohr was probably as far as he could get from his real home. Still, he donned a gracious smile to flash at Xander. This was after all a duet and he couldn’t miss his lines.

“Thank you, King Xander, for your- warm receiving.” Takumi’s hand twitched in Xander’s. He urged to snatch it back, to simply be taken to his quarters and hide from prying eyes.

As if sensing his wants Xander dropped his hand and stood back up to his full height. Takumi was already growing sick of looking up. He hoped that annoyance wouldn't be a common feeling through the years.

[shuuenka-writes]

Between the Lines [14.]

Okita Souji x Reader

Summary: Living in Kyoto these times got really interesting, right? Even for you, the bakery shop owner. It’s not like you could ever be bored having the Shinsengumi Captain around.

pervious:   [11.] [12.] [13.] [masterlist] [14/20]

‘’Soon your body will undergo major changes,” dr. Matsumoto spoke.  “You will be stronger, your wounds will heal faster, you will feel better. “ The bald man sighed. You smiled at him. “Please, go on,” you urged him. You knew that being the Fury changed everything. You were just like Okita right now. The doctor nodded solemnly. Night before he found you right after Kaoru left. All you could say, that the flask wasn’t your possession and you didn’t drink it on your own. How could you explain the whole situation?

“You will be able to function only at night. For a while you’ll still be able to see the sun, but not for long. Keep in mind that you will be weak, tired and sleepy, at some point it'll even be painful” he took deep breath. “After some time you’ll start feeling bloodlust.” “Bloodlust?” you frowned. You didn’t hear anything about it. Okita hadn’t told you anything about bloodlust. “Yes. Moreover, the Furies don’t live long. They are superior in strength  and stamina, but not for a long period of time.” You blinked. Your stomach twisted. “The Water of life does not heal illnesses, it only postpones them. It also causes infertility. We still don’t know how to undo the transformation… Yukimura was still working on the Water of life when he went missing. “ You sat silent staring at the floor. Your thoughts were in chaos trying to comprehend dr. Matsumoto’s words. Water of life doesn’t heal illnesses, it causes bloodlust, it kills. What good came from using it? Why was it even created? ‘The Corps,’ you remembered. Okita was transferred to the division called the Corps. He said, it was for soldiers like him. The Furies. Did it mean the Shinsengumi created them? From normal people no less? You couldn’t imagine such a kind man as Kondou doing such terrific thing. And what dr. Matsumoto said? Yukimura. Was it possible that it was the missing father of Chizuru? Perhaps that’s why they let her stay with the Shinsengumi. Now you were one of them, one of the Furies. Just like Okita. But did it mean he experienced the bloodlust? Perhaps he did, maybe even the night when you stopped him. Maybe even earlier. His tuberculosis… it was still inside him. It still could kill him. Even thinking about it hurt. “I’ll leave you now. Your wound is good, just use these medications I gave you and everything will be fine,” dr. Matsumoto stood up and gave you a pat on shoulder. You smiled weakly and bowed. You didn’t have strength to move from the spot. Servants came with dinner, you didn’t touch the food. You decided to go to the garden, under the cherry tree was your mother’s grave. You stood before large tree. You prayed before the tombstone as the wind run through your hair. “Mother, what should I do?” you asked. Only silence replied. “You told me to live a life worth living. Did I do well? I didn’t want to be sold like a cow. Was running away good decision? All I ever did was running away. One person told me I was bratty princess,” your voice trembled a little at thought of Okita. You shook your head. “You know, I went to Kyoto. You told me it was beautiful city. It is, it really it. Though lately it’s total chaos.” You sat down in front of the grave. “I met wonderful people. The Shimazu family. And… and Kimiko. She was my first real friend, you know? She taught me how to live in the outside world. And she didn’t ask questions! She was… she was wonderful friend. But she’s dead now. Mom… I… It’s all my fault. I  don’t even know where to start.” You went silent. Chilly breeze made you shiver but you didn’t move from the spot. A few sakura petals flew across your eyes. “______,” you jumped startled. Behind you stood your father. His face looked wearier and more wrinkled than you remembered. Most of his hair turned white. His eyes, which used to shine with dangerous glint, lost it brightness. Was it possible to age so much within only seven years? You looked down, ready to hear the lecture. Instead you felt pair of strong arms around you. You froze. “______, I’m so sorry,” your father’s voice shook as he held you tighter. “I never wanted you to hate me. I thought I lost you. I sent so many people after you and nobody could find you…!” “Father...” you trembled with sudden urge to hug him. But you stayed still. “When your mother died I was so lost. I did what they wanted me to do. I had to… I knew I hurt you. I wasn’t a father to you. When we found you at the gates I thought gods gave me a second chance, but I was too scared to talk to you.” He moved away from you. You noticed tears in his eyes. He smiled at you. “You grew so much, you look like your mother. You have that fire in your eyes, just like her,” he said. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, ______.” You didn’t know what to say. Could you simply forgive him? For those years of loneliness, for treating you like a dust? For being a stranger more than a father?  You didn’t want to forgive him, for last seven years you lived fueled with anger of him selling you off. So why you couldn’t stop the tears from falling? *** After a month you finally decided what you wanted to do. With reaching the resolution helped you the katana you found. The katana you borrowed from Minamoto-san, the same one you took to the Shinsengumi headquarters. The same one that you used for attacking Kaoru. Your wound healed and, just like on your left hand, only a scar reminded. It was ugly, lopsided, pinkish scar. But it reminded you that you couldn’t stay here. Okita was also shot. He was hurting even more, you refused to think he was dead. You would not give up on him. Never. When you thought you were dying you admitted what you felt for green eyed man. You loved him. Since the times in the bakery, when he used to come by. When he teased you, when he joked with you, when he helped with you. Or when he offered you that one of the kind smile. But you were afraid. Afraid that he will laugh in your face, call you an idiot. And even more, you were afraid of being loved back. You didn’t know how to love, really. Only person, who could show you how to, died. Then all you received was faked similes and politeness. So you were afraid, that the feelings also would be fake, that it all would crumble to the dust. That you would be again left alone, without simple ounce of happiness. So you put up your walls up. But soon Okita broke through them, he didn’t even know about it. Everything in your life was short and restless. Your happiness would be the same, short-lived. How would you reciprocate the feelings, if you didn’t know how. You’d probably run away yet again. This is who you were in the past, but no longer. You didn’t have much time left, being the Fury changed everything. You would not back away with a tail between your legs. Whether it meant being rejected or laughed off, you would not run away. Not anymore. You decided that you will travel to Edo. To Yukimura Kado’s house, to find clues about the Furies and how to treat them. Then you will find Okita. You told this to your father. Surprisingly, he took it quite well. “You really don’t want to stay home?” “Father, this place is no home to me,” you told him honestly. You saw hurt within his eyes. “I want to find my own home, built I with my own hands. I want to live following mother’s last words. And there is still something I need to do.” The room fell silent. You father sighed loudly and stood up. He moved to the casket and pulled out of it small package. “Here, it belonged to you mother,” he said. You unwrapped the package and looked at the kaiken. “I’m sure she’d want you to take it.” You grasped the dagger with you hand. The blade reflected morning sun, glinting and shining as if it was sharpened just moment ago. You remembered it. Your mother used to take it anywhere she went. “Thank you,” you said and hid the dagger in your obi, like your mother used to do. “I will cherish it forever.” ~~***~~~ History time part 2! Kaiken – 20-25 cm long dagger, used for self-defense, usually carried by woman. Woman of samurai household learned how to use it. When a samurai woman married, she was expected to carry a kaiken with her when she moves in with her husband. Sorry for quite short chapter compared to earlier ones, but next will be longer! I promise!

[atopearth]

Fate/stay night Réalta Nua Part 6 - Heaven’s Feel Route (2/2)

Day 11-16 Aww, Illya was so sweet and thoughtful to wake up early and help suppress the pain on Shirou (from Archer’s arm) while he was asleep. I found it really cute how Shirou nonchalantly asked Sakura if it was all right for Illya to stay in the house forever, and that since she’s his partner and this is her home as well, he thought he should ask her for her permission and opinion. Sakura blushing was adorable haha. I loved how awkward it was when Sakura and Rin made lunch together, but I loved how Shirou gave Sakura the courage to call Rin “nee-san”, so that now they can finally kinda chase back the times they lost as sisters. I find it hilarious how Shirou always says unexpected things to Rider and it makes her put her guard down lol, he’s like her weakness since she can never keep up her cold exterior for long when it comes to him. It’s so cute how Rider was self conscious about her height haha. Shirou is right though, Rider is so tall and beautiful, it totally suits her. I also really liked how Rider seemed to appreciate Shirou going all the way to the shed just to give her his morning greetings (even though it was afternoon lol), it was funny when he admitted that he forgot about her until now lol, because I totally did too.

I feel like Shirou and Sakura don’t get to talk about much (aside from cooking and blushing at each other lol), so I’m kinda glad they got to have a little talk about how even though she and Rin weren’t really “allowed” to interact, Rin would still greet her at school and watch her practice at the Archery club. And it’s nice to see that Sakura appreciated her doing that. Lol at Sakura being subtly ruthless about Shirou being crappy at magic🤣 She’s probably right about Shirou being the “strongest” out of them three though, I think his pure determination and will is something that cannot be matched. Not sure what Sakura was talking about, but does that mean Shirou actually only has 7 days to adjust to Archer’s arm or he’ll die? Aaaand, no I don’t feel sorry for the piece of shit Shinji lol. I can understand why he’s the way he is, and sure you can blame the grandfather and his own father for raising him to be like that, but honestly he was a shit from the beginning. He always thought he was special and great because of their family origins even though he didn’t have magic circuits, but he always treated Sakura like trash and a servant because he was happy that he “was better” than her, that he was learning magic and she wasn’t. So when he realised that he was the actual trash that wasn’t the successor, and his grandfather and father stopped pretending to be nice to him, he just outright hated Sakura even more because she’s the actual special one, and she’s apologising to him for taking his place that was never his. He hates being pitied as trash and that’s probably why he hates Sakura, but really, even if Sakura wasn’t there, that place never would have been his either way. And he’s treated Sakura so badly her whole life, I honestly don’t care about him and never will. He’s so entitled and is like the epitome of everything I hate in a person, I would never feel anything for him tbh. I’m so glad Shirou took care of her right.

Umm, I hope Shirou isn’t being controlled or whatever and is doing some of those killings at night… Or maybe he’s just losing his memories due to the effects from Sakura draining his magical energy? I feel for Sakura though, she can tell that she’s slowly losing her mind but she doesn’t want to lose Shirou to anyone and wants to be beside him as much as she can because she loves him more than anything else. It’s just heartbreaking that he’s the thing that’s giving her some sanity but at the same time, his existence is causing her to want to destroy everything in their way so that she can keep their life together. I’m starting to think that Sakura might be a yandere and kill Illya and Rin to keep Shirou to herself though, very worrying… And is she turning Shirou into a sex craving monster?? Loll. Like, just as she needs to do it for magical energy, will it in turn consume Shirou to the point that he’s going to die if he doesn’t do it with Sakura or something?? It was saddening when Illya told Shirou that it was impossible for them to live together forever, because they both don’t have long to live… It’s also pretty saddening to see how much Shirou wants to ignore the fact that everywhere the shadow lingered, it smells and reminds him of Sakura. I guess that’s understandable though. Initially, they believed that since Sakura hadn’t killed anyone yet, she could be saved and should be saved. But if he were to realise that the shadow is actually Sakura, he’ll have to accept that Sakura has killed lots of people, numerous people, and she continues to kill people as long as she exists and there’s nothing that can really stop her. Not only will he then have to accept that he must kill her to stop her, he will also have to accept that it was because of his decision to save her instead of kill her back then that has caused all these people to suffer and die. How many people can really accept such a thing? I feel like Shirou’s gonna break at this rate… On the other hand, Sakura’s already broken lol. I guess by getting hurt by Gilgamesh and then swallowing him whole she’s finally realised that these “nightmares” of a monster walking around town was really just her going on a feeding spree. Not sure if she can accept it though, since she only seems to focus on the fact that for the first time, Shirou asked to have sex with her and not the other way around, so she thinks that she has to do anything she can to preserve and protect the life she has right now. By allowing her to live this long, Shirou has only caused Sakura to become more greedy and desire him more, and that’s probably facilitating her desire to need to “eat more” and never feeling satisfied, because in the end, what she wants is Shirou, and she needs to survive as long as she can to experience this happiness as long as she can…

I was wondering when Rin being fond of Shirou due to her seeing him high jumping would be relevant, and OF COURSE it would be heard by Sakura to further agitate her and think that Rin is stealing everything from her, whether it be the “good life” she could have had or the guy she likes the most. Not to mention Rin is telling Shirou that if it comes to it, she won’t hesitate to kill Sakura and told Shirou to think about that too, so yeah… Honestly though, at this rate, I feel like Rin dying might be the only way for Shirou to “wake up” and force himself to realise that he can’t let Sakura stay like this any longer. Or I guess killing Illya would also cause the same effect. Zouken took the broken fragments of the holy grail from the last war and embedded it into Sakura??? I’m surprised there was anything left that could really be put into someone but okay… I guess that’s why the shadow exists to “collect souls”, since it’s basically the holy grail that wants to complete itself by consuming souls? I’m not sure what Zouken wants by telling Shirou to kill Sakura before she becomes even more berserk? Is it because she’s not the holy grail he wants now, so it’s best to get rid of her? But anyway, I guess it’s making more sense now as to why Sakura is losing her human functions such as not being able to move etc, since she consumed so many Servants, and the more she consumes, the more she’ll need to use her functions to maintain them rather than to maintain herself as a human. She is losing herself at a rapid rate and there’s no way to really save her… It was kinda sweet to see Shirou being happy that Illya was fine and would still be able to retain herself as Illya even if she consumed Rider and Assassin as the holy grail. Or maybe Zouken is trying to get Shirou to kill Sakura just to get her to be even more out of control lol.

Honestly, when Shirou wasn’t able to kill Sakura, rather than resolve, I felt apathy and acceptance. Apathy towards Sakura killing so many people, and acceptance of the fact that protecting Sakura means betraying all his beliefs and his whole reason for living all this time. It felt like he accepted that there was no going back after this, and I guess Sakura felt that, because she laments about how her weakness is causing Shirou to break and be in pain for every step he takes in protecting her. Although I do blame Sakura for causing Shirou to have to make such difficult decisions and break himself over it physically and mentally, I was really happy when she forced herself to stay awake and not sleep, so that the shadow couldn’t go around feeding like the “nightmares’ she always had. I was also happy when she used her last Command Spell to order Rider to protect Shirou until the end. Even though Sakura is the cause of all Shirou’s problems, I can see why Shirou is willing to sacrifice everything for her. The fact that she can remain so pure and thoughtful despite her experiences is somewhat of a blessing, and honestly the problems she causes are out of her hands most of the time and is all because of Zouken, so I can understand why Shirou would be so adamant on saving her when the world has always been so unfair to her. Well, I guess I’m not surprised that this "impurity” within the holy grail is what “created” the black shadow and it’s now practically consumed Sakura enough for them to be like “one”. But her sanity restricts it, so as long as she’s Sakura, she can still restrain it~ but that thing that will be “born” from her with the collection of all those souls the shadow is eating sounds dangerous… Hmm how interesting that in order to save Sakura, the only way is for her to completely become the holy grail, and then for Shirou to use the power of the holy grail to eliminate the crappy stuff inside her while she’s still sane for those few seconds or whatever.

I have to say, seeing Sakura desperately want to protect the secret that Shinji was raping her all this time from Shirou was pretty saddening. Saddening that it was what ended up breaking her sanity and forced her to numb herself to the fact that she had killed her brother, and that killing someone could be so easy, as long as she wanted it, she would have the power to kill them. It was saddening to see that happen. As expected, Zouken wanted Shirou to break Sakura by betraying her, and in the end although Shinji was the one who pushed her into it, her love for Shirou contributed to it. Honestly, seeing Illya sitting down on the porch thinking about whether Sakura would come first to kill her/take her as the holy grail or whether Shirou would come and take her away with him was saddening. She’s accepted her fate that she’ll die no matter what, but I’m sure she really wants to spend whatever time she can with Shirou instead. On the other hand, I’m pretty disappointed in Sakura, understandable but still disappointed, because from her talk with Rin, you can tell she’s still her, she’s just allowing her negative emotions and thoughts overtake her and it’s honestly disappointing to see, mainly because all I can think about is that Shirou sacrificed himself for “this”, he sacrificed everything he was to help her and yet the one that isn’t helping her the most is Sakura herself. Although I kinda feel that she’s doing all this so that Shirou can be thoroughly disappointed in her and “give up” on her and kill her to prevent any more innocent people from dying, but still, I’m annoyed at her always being the one to give up when Shirou never gave up. I know she thinks it’s too painful to see Shirou compromise his morals and beliefs for her, but at the same time, now that he’s already done it, I really wanted them to power through it together to find a way to save her instead of resorting to this. Nice reassurance to have Rider save Shirou from herself though~ it’s kinda funny that even though Illya is the “youngest”, she’s probably the most mature and understanding one (despite how childish she can be when she’s with Shirou lol), she knows and accepts what her role is and is not one to falter against it. Illya’s farewell to Shirou was pretty heartbreaking.

I loved their interactions when Shirou reunited with Illya at the castle. Shirou’s pure desire to save Illya from all this even if it’ll end badly was honestly touching, mainly because Illya is obviously trying her best to do all the risky stuff so Shirou doesn’t need to, but seeing Shirou come to save her from it was just sweet. Illya’s smile is definitely worth it, and if I have to be honest, I much prefer and enjoy Shirou and Illya’s relationship in this route than with Sakura lol. LOL at Illya and Kotomine thinking Shirou was insane for jumping from the third floor of the castle without magic (although he did strengthen his feet) even though he just followed them because he didn’t want to fall behind haha. Although I knew Kotomine isn’t one to really sacrifice himself, I didn’t expect that his teachings of God was something that could kill Zouken. Now that I think about it, I think one of the reasons why I like Saber, Rin and Illya more than Sakura is because I feel like despite how logical they are, they would always prioritise protecting Shirou even at the expense of themselves, and that’s something you see in Sakura at times but I feel like most of the time it’s Shirou who does that instead.

I liked Shirou’s fight with Berserker, it was pretty cool how he was able to take off the cloth on Archer’s arm and project Berserker’s own weapon and fend him off, obviously it wasn’t possible for Shirou to really win, but it was Berserker’s hesitation in hurting Illya that allowed Shirou to actually win though. I’m surprised that Kotomine actually had a wife and child in the past because he wanted to experiment whether he could love another person, and she even killed herself to try and prove to him through her death that he loved her. Honestly, even though he thinks he didn’t love her, I think in a certain sense, he actually did, not necessarily romantically, but I think through her, he was able to understand that although he enjoyed seeing them when they suffered, he stopped experiments like these after her death. Regardless of what he truly feels, I think a part of him wasn’t interested in seeing such a thing happen again, and in a way I guess that was his kindness and love after dealing with her death? Or maybe I’m just thinking too much haha. Although, I do believe so, mainly because when you watch Fate/Zero, when he saw how devoted Maiya and Irisviel were towards Kiritsugu, I think aside from his hatred of Kiritsugu having everything he wanted (emotions etc) yet discarding them for saving humanity, it also reminded him of this wife he once had that possessed the same undying devotion to him as they did for Kiritsugu. I think even though he didn’t really “feel it”, he was touched by it in his own way. White hair Sakura looks all right, but yeah honestly, Kotomine is right, this “evil personality” of Sakura’s is really just herself. She just can’t accept that she has such dark thoughts and hates everyone so she tries to make it as if all these disgusting parts of her aren’t actually a part of her, when really, they’ve been a part of her all this time. It really shows how pitiful she is and how saddening her life is though. She’s been wanting to keep herself “pure” and kind so as to be good enough for Shirou, but really, Shirou would embrace her darkness if she allowed him to.

Ohhh so the thing Sakura is “giving birth” to is the eighth class of the Holy Grail War that the Einzberns broke the rules to summon and tainted the Holy Grail… Hmmm, I knew that since the Servants just get absorbed back into the grail when they die it didn’t really matter whether the Masters fought and died or whatever, but I didn’t realise that everything about the war is actually done to achieve this immortality miracle called Heaven’s Feel, which is some sort of sorcery (something that cannot be achieved with magic) that is the ultimate goal of every magus, and I guess that’s why Tohsaka’s dad was so intent on winning the war previously. And I guess we can see why Zouken wanted to achieve this so much, since Heaven’s Feel elevates the soul to a higher dimension and allows them to still influence the physical world, so I guess basically he’ll be like some kind of god or being that won’t die, but would still be able to stay in this world as a “human”. And hmmm I see, the Great Holy Grail is the magic circle that uses the land administrated by the Tohsaka family and it is with the combination of this and the Holy Grail by the Einzberns that they can use the absorbed spirits and everything to open a hole to the land where they can get unlimited magical energy. The story of the anti-hero Angra Mainyu where he was used as a sacrifice in a small village to be viewed and tortured as the epitome of all sins and evil in this world in order to create the impression that everyone else must be good because he embodies all evil already was just ugh. Not that it’s not believable, just…bland and unnecessary imo. And this embodiment of evil is the shadow of Sakura wanting to kill all humans because that’s what his role is I guess.

Initially, when Shirou took Rin’s pendant with him to hold onto whenever he felt like he would lose consciousness, I thought it was just his way of thinking about the person who saved him and getting some motivation from that, but now that he’s talking about it with Rin without realising what it actually is anymore (due to the side effects of using projection with Archer’s arm, which leads to him being unable to retain a lot of memories), it might actually be because Shirou is being influenced by Archer’s memories and emotions as well. Archer really cherishes that pendant alongside Rin, and seeing Shirou cherish it so really made it touching. Even if Archer is gone and only his arm is here, Rin remains the most important person in his memories. I’ve been waiting for Rider to do something again, so I’m happy that she’s cooperating with Shirou because she understands that Shirou’s goal has never changed, he will be on Sakura’s side until the very end, just like she is. Honestly though, Tiger Dojo 38 was pretty cool, you get to see Saber and Shirou face off against each other and Shirou actually wins! Well, he sacrifices his life to keep Saber there and allow Rin to go save Sakura, and we don’t know what really happens, but I think it was nice to see that Shirou was able to fight so vigorously and win. I thought it was really sweet how Shirou went around the house before the last battle and was able to recall all those precious daily memories of Sakura and how important she is to him in his daily life. Even if his memories are foggy and even if he is in pain, Sakura drives him on and renews his resolve for saving her. Even if he’s forgotten everything, he won’t forget her and I think that’s really heartwarming.

Ooh so Zouken’s main body is still alive, I was wondering how anticlimactic it would be if Kotomine really killed him in the forest lol. I think it’s more fitting for Sakura to be the one to kill him, especially since he’s the one who tortured her all these years and is still doing the same thing right now. Honestly, Zouken’s end was pretty cliche, but it was pretty satisfying to see Sakura squish him like the worm he was. To think that the worm inside of her was his real body though. I’m glad he’s done though, Zouken was a pretty boring villain tbh. Tiger Dojo 40 was pretty saddening! Like, I can so imagine Shirou not being ruthless enough to kill Saber even though he has the chance, but his kindness ending up leading to Rin’s death is so real and sad. Rin deserves better!🥺 I love how in the Tiger Dojo, they tell Saber fans to give up on getting a good ending for Saber in this route because there’s none, and that if they want one, they need to go to Saber’s route hahahah. Time to do the normal ending first! I really felt the pain and grief when Shirou stabbed Saber though. It was honestly heartbreaking to see all his memories with her flash, and see how in order to save Sakura, he needed to harden his heart and sacrifice others that he could not save. He chose the path of killing others to save Sakura, and he killed someone that was once so faithful to him. I guess one of the reasons why I don’t like Sakura as a villain is because in a sense even though she’s not as disgusting as Shinji, she’s similar to him in the sense that everything she does is as if she’s throwing a tantrum. Throwing a tantrum that she’s the only one suffering, that no one cares about her and that everyone is living a good life when she has to suffer. And just like Shinji, she doesn’t really use her brain to fight, she just uses whatever powers she has accumulated through her hatred to deal pain on all the people around her until she satisfied, it’s just that she can never be satisfied.. Honestly, I feel like the way Rin is towards Sakura throughout this route has felt rather…awkward and a bit unlike her imo, but I guess maybe it’s because of how awkward her relationship with Sakura is. The only obvious thing was that at this point, even though Rin excelled against Sakura in battle experience and brain in using the gem sword against her etc (which I’m honestly surprised that Sakura’s use of magic is limited by her weakness as a mage even though she has an inexhaustible amount), with Sakura crying at how painful her life had been, and with how much Shirou had all this time shown to Rin his resolve to save Sakura, it was expected that Rin wouldn’t be able to kill her. It’s just terrible that it took Rin to die for Sakura to realise that everything she wanted was already there, she just allowed her negative feelings to take over her.

Honestly, I felt rather dissatisfied with the normal ending. Using a projection of Caster’s Noble Phantasm to break Sakura’s contact with Angra Mainyu was nice and interesting though, didn’t really think it would work that way for this too. Anyway, my dissatisfaction! Maybe it’s because it played out as expected with Shirou sacrificing his life to save Sakura, or maybe it’s because I was dissatisfied at how Sakura chose to live her life after Shirou sacrificed his for hers. I think it’s probably the latter tbh. I just keep thinking about everything that happened across the 16 days, about everything that happened between Sakura and Shirou, about how difficult it was for him to give up himself to save her, about how much he loved her and gave her his everything, and yet what happened in the end? She spent her life protecting his house and wallowing in their past memories! Like, yes it’s romantic in a sense, and it totally suits Sakura’s personality to do that, but it killed me! I feel like Sakura’s love is just so “blind” that it fails to grasp what Shirou wanted for her. He wanted her to live a life of freedom, and a life of happiness with others like her sister. But instead of achieving that, Sakura just felt estranged by something new (instead of her past, it’s now Shirou), guilt at being the one who survived and feeling like she needed to stay in his house and isolate herself. Honestly, it felt so much like a bad ending lol. I guess as Rider said, Sakura needs Shirou to be there with her in order to really live, but seriously I’m still annoyed though, because it felt like such a waste. I understand that Sakura isn’t someone that can stand up by herself or be supported by anyone aside from Shirou, but sigh, such a waste. I felt like if she at least tried to fulfill things Shirou wanted to do with his life or what he wanted to do with her after saving her etc, it would have been much nicer. Sigh.

Ooh so for the true ending, Kotomine is there trying to protect Angra Mainyu. Before this, I didn’t really understand why he wanted it to come into being, but after his talk with Shirou, it’s understandable. Kotomine has at a certain point onwards always thought that it’s because he had a defect from birth that caused him to become a person that can only live happily by seeing people in pain and in grief. But what if he’s wrong? And I think that’s what he wants to explore. What if all along he was blaming it on something outside of his control, but really it actually was within his control? And I think that’s what he wants to see from this birth. When it’s born, will it have the emotions to understand what it has done all this time (killing people) and grieve over it or laugh at it, making it “evil” because it can differentiate between good and evil. Or will it instead just continue to be what it is not knowing emotions, and thus unable to be “evil” because it doesn’t understand what evil really is and only does what it has been born to do? I mean, it’s crazy for Kotomine to give it a chance to live and kill people, but it is something to be curious about haha. Honestly Zouken still being alive was so suitable for the worm that he is, but I really didn’t care for him finally coming to terms that he had to accept the Makiri line ended with him because he was lacking rather than because the land wasn’t suitable for them, and that living was more painful than death anyway. Like, at this point, he better be dead! Lol. I’m so sad. I honestly didn’t want to see Illya have to be the one to die instead of Shirou, but I know that if Shirou died, Illya probably wouldn’t be able to have the same happiness she has now anyway, but still!😭 Oh wow, Rider in casual clothes is certainly different lol, still beautiful though. Hmmmm so even though Shirou’s body died, Illya was able to use the Third Sorcery to revive Shirou’s soul and give him a body free of wounds, so even though that body isn’t really Shirou, it is Shirou since it’s his soul, so basically he’s just in a new form but he’s who he is haha. Although the ending felt lacklustre, it was really nice to see a more mature and beautiful Sakura and Rin, they look so good!!

However, I find it difficult to describe my feelings when I think about Heaven’s Feel overall. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either, and I personally think it’s due to the lack of emotions I felt towards Sakura. In terms of the story, like others have said, it is the “darker” route, but in all honesty, I felt like that was it all it was. A lot of the route involves building up Sakura as an unconscious killer that isn’t redeemable, yet Shirou chooses to sacrifice everything for her, which is all right, because I really felt his feelings of love and resolve, but that was only in the first half. In the second half, I felt the story was lacking, and even the emotions it rode on was lacking, the only thing that wasn’t too disappointing would be the fights, but since the first half is literally just Sakura eating everyone, there aren’t that many fights to begin with, but at least they weren’t as frustrating as the fights with Caster in UBW lol. Anyway, I really wanted to relate to Shirou’s strong determination towards saving Sakura, but I couldn’t. Sakura felt so much like a two dimensional character to me that I just couldn’t relate to how much he loved her and was willing to sacrifice for her, and unfortunately since the whole route is focused on that, the ending and everything didn’t move me at all, I felt so apathetic. I honestly felt more for Illya than Sakura. I feel like Sakura’s route wanted to show something like bitter happiness with Shirou’s physical and mental sacrifice of his whole being for her, but it’s hard to relate when Sakura isn’t worth it lol. I’m sorry, Sakura. 

I also think the thing with Angra Mainyu and the Great Holy Grail etc was boring and unnecessary. But I do acknowledge that Sakura was never meant to be a great villain or last boss kinda thing since it has always shown that this was all caused by her immense suffering and negative feelings that couldn’t be controlled, she’s really just a nice girl. But that made it boring imo. I related to her desire for an ordinary happiness, but I got a bit tired of relating to her needing everyone to die or suffer for it. Heaven’s Feel just really didn’t have the same relatable pain that Saber and Rin’s routes brought out within me even though their respective routes had their own problems. But I guess that’s what stories are like, none of them are flawless, but if they affect you, then they’re usually good, and I could very assuredly tell you that the Fate and UBW routes portrayed the goals of their routes very well, but HF didn’t. I also think HF is lacking because it doesn’t build up Shirou’s thoughts and emotions as well as the other routes too. In HF, he’s constantly losing his memories due to Archer’s arm etc so all he really does is recall his past with Sakura in the first half which can be nice and emotional in itself but it’s repetitive and bland because they’re just flashbacks lacking depth imo, and since most of the second half is Sakura kinda finding a way to die with Angra Mainyu without hurting the others, you really don’t see any more development for Sakura. So yeah, sadly, HF has more cons than pros and I can’t find it in myself to like it even though technically it seems to have less problems than the other two routes haha. Oh well.