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emisprocrastinatingbywriting · 4 months ago

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Alone and Forsaken

Chapter 16 Summary:

Jackson was filled with ups and downs, the majority of them having to do with your family. Truths are revealed, some of which fill you with hope for your own future, and you start to plan how to break the news.

Meanwhile Joel is struggling to adjust to life in Jackson. However, after an tense argument with Tommy, he has a hard time trying to figure out what the missing puzzle piece is. After a series of strange conversations leads Joel to a conclusion he had been too stupid to see, how will he cope?

Warnings: Major Angst, Conversations of Past Trauma, Mention of SA (Not Reader or Joel), Fluff, Joel Miller The Anxious King, Talks About Past Substance Abuse, Comfort, Filthy Smut, 34+35, Anal M! and F! Receiving (I was horny this week).

A/N:

Hey y'all! I hope your week has been good. We are so back! This week is a long one. I thought about breaking it up but the outline I have for the last four chapters would not allow for such heresy!

Conversations about past abuses do take place, so if that is a trigger in this chapter, reader with caution. At the same time, we circle back to Joel's inability to see what is right in front of him, along with the pain that comes when he finally does. Major warning for talks of grief, coping with childhood trauma, etc.

This one is a bit heavier but I have cushioned it, as I always do, with some filthy smut. Smut that shows a new side of Joel *wink wink* Enjoy <3 (especially since next chapter, we shall be in the trenches again)

Chapter 16/20

Chapter 16: Where The Line is Drawn

Joel had left you alone. And not just that, he had left you alone with her. The nerve of that man frustrated you to no end, especially when the woman who sat across from you was ramrod straight in her chair, glaring at you with a poorly disguised curled lip. He had promised to stay by your side, and yet, here you were sitting across from the one person you had foolishly hoped would stay away.

When you woke up that day, you were calm. The night before, Joel had literally fucked you into one of the deepest sleeps you had ever had. After which, his body had served as the perfect blanket, shielding you from the chill of the air and calming your frayed nerves with his weight. That night, you had fallen into a peaceful sleep, one that was so deep that you didn’t notice when he pulled out and went to bed without you.

You were a tad bit annoyed, grumbling as you sat up from the lumpy couch. Back at the cabin, when Joel’s back couldn’t take the shabby couch any longer, he would always carry you to bed with him. More than a couple times you had woken up tangled in the sheets, confused as to how you got there, but comforted by his body curled around yours. At least Joel thought to cover you with a blanket before he left, that counted for something you supposed. Still, there was no way you weren’t going to make a fuss about it later. He knew how much you hated waking up alone.

As you secured one of the knit blankets over your figure, trying to shield yourself from the chill that had settled over the home since the fire went out overnight, you thought about how warm the bed must be. Joel was like a furnace, his body radiating more heat than any fireplace ever could, and it made you long for him that much more. You could practically see him flopped face down on the mattress, snoring noisily into the pillow as the world passed him by.

After taking the first few steps up the staircase, fighting with the blanket to not slip off of your shivering body, you heard Joel’s voice behind you. His words were urgent, begging someone to remain outside for just a moment longer with increasing volume. You turned to face the voices as the unwanted visitor broke through, barreling out of the mud room so quickly that you didn’t even have a chance to cover yourself up completely.

“Mom?,” you said dumbly, at a complete loss for words as the woman in question glared up at you.

Joel skidded to a stop behind you, his face beet red with embarrassment and exertion. He looked like he was ready to pounce on the miniscule woman in front of him, with his hawk-like eyes flitting back and forth between the two of you as he stood there. It made you want to laugh. Somehow, although she barely reached the height of Joel’s shoulders, your mother still looked ten times more terrifying than the hulking wall of pure strength that loomed behind her.

“I see that you have made yourself comfortable,” she snarled, the disgust on her face scalding your skin with shame.

“Yeah, well, we didn’t think we’d have visitors this early in the morning so…,” you trailed off, unsure of what else to say.

She snorted, “So it would seem.”

The silence that followed was uncomfortable, almost painful with how hard she glared at your poorly covered body. There was a small part of you that wished that things were different, that you were the girl who shied away from her gaze in a docile show of subservience. However, from the moment you had tasted freedom, after she helped Miriam shove you out that window on your wedding day so many months ago, that girl was gone. From then on the pit, meeting Joel, and every that came afterwards, had driven the rest of the nails in that girl’s coffin. It would be so much easier to let her break you down into nothing as she once had the power to do but you weren’t that person anymore, so you matched her heated glare.

The sound of a throat being cleared broke the two of you out of the impromptu staring contest. Joel scuffed his feet, looking like he was about ready to sink into the floor as the spotlight shifted back to him. Meanwhile, you had forgotten he was there, so wrapped up in your mother that he had faded into the background.

Guilt washed over you as you caught his eye, noticing how uncomfortable he looked in nothing but a pair of boxers. In the morning light, all of the jagged lines and puckered holes that had healed with time were on full display, something that you knew your mother would inevitably take issue with. Even though Joel never seemed to care about appearance, other than the few comments he made about his age, you also knew that she was an expert at making people feel bad about themselves. Whereas your mother would see the scars as proof that he was a threat, you saw them as proof that he was a survivor.

“Yes?,” your mother sighed, seemingly exhausted by the alpha’s presence in the room.

Joel scratched his head, shifting his gaze to his feet to avoid her pointed stare.

“Apologies ma’am, I just…,” he paused and looked back up at you, “Honey, maybe we should go get decent before we um… before the two of you chat.”

You nodded at his words, grateful for both the chance to cover up and also the brief moment of respite from her disdain.

“Yeah um… Mom, if you want to go wait in the living room, we’ll get changed and be down in a minute,” you stammered.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, peering into the living room with a scowl. When she turned on her heel, ignoring your words as she walked straight down the hall, you shared a look of confusion with Joel.

“I have no interest in sitting on the couch you had sex on with that stupid man. Go, I’ll find a seat in here that’s more suitable,” she called over her shoulder, disappearing down the narrow hall.

Joel guffawed at her boldness, a look of bewilderment on his face as he watched her go. As his gaze met yours again, you could tell that he was shocked by her words, but you weren’t. Even before the outbreak, her job had been to pick apart witnesses on the stand. She was trained on the fine art of arguing and pointed attacks, which made her the last person you wanted to cross.

After the outbreak hit and your father’s death had drained the life from her eyes, injecting ice into her veins, she began to use her skills to pick apart anyone that stood in her way. At first, she had used it to score extra rations in the QZ or weasel her way out of sticky situations on the road. However, after meeting Josiah and trading her freedom for protection, she started to use her skills to pick you apart. Having been on the receiving end of your mother’s scorn for years, you knew that this boldness was nothing new. If anything, this was her in a good mood.

“Come on,” you sighed, already drained as you turned to climb the stairs with heavy limbs.

Joel followed closely behind you, clearly just as shaken by her random appearance at your door, but you paid him no mind. Anger seeped into your chest, making acid burn the back of your throat. It seemed stupid now, but for some reason you had assumed she would stay away. After all that had passed between you, why would she care enough to try? Did she think that you had forgotten everything, or was she really conceited enough to think you would forgive her like nothing happened?

More and more spiteful thoughts rose to the surface, pulling you down a bitter path that made the rest of the world fall away. As you tore through the boxes for any suitable clothes, you ranted under your breath. Despite your efforts, not a single article of clothing seemed suitable enough for her overwhelming presence. In fact, the more you searched, the more you realized that you were doing nothing more than creating a mess to be cleaned up later.

It was only when Joel wrapped his arms around you, pressing you into the solid expanse of his front, that you stopped. The heat of him alone was enough to soothe your fears but the smell, Christ the smell of him, made you weak in the knees. He hummed when you leaned back into the embrace, pressing a smattering of kisses against the side of your head. The fabric of his shirt rubbed against your bare back, making you realize just how long you had been sifting through the clothes. He was already dressed and there you were, naked as the day you were born as you angrily threw clothes all over the place.

“Talk to me honey,” Joel sighed.

What was there to say? She was in your home, bringing up all the feelings and thoughts that you usually shoved away in order to be a semi-functional human being. And Joel? He was about to be subjected to the unbearable torture that was being in her presense. There was nothing that you could say that would prepare him for that specific type of torment.

“I don’t know what to say Joel,” you tried, “For some reason, I thought she’d leave me alone.”

Joel kissed your jaw, helping you up off the floor and leading you over to the bed where he had left out a pair of comfortable clothes for you to put on. The attention to detail he had was at times staggering and tears brewed in your eyes at the sight of the soft fabrics. Filled with so much love for him, you abruptly spun on your heel and pressed your lips to his. Joel made a surprised noise, pausing for half a second before he leaned into it. The kiss was soft and sweet, slowly bringing you back down to earth with each gentle caress. The way your lips moved together was like a promise, one that ensured that you would keep eachother balanced in times of need.

When he broke the kiss, you whined, too dizzied by his talented tongue to stop your lips from chasing his as he pulled away. Joel chuckled and nodded towards the clothes, popping a squat beside them so he could wait for you to dress. You sighed and took the hint, throwing the blanket off your shoulders so you could grab the pair of pink panties that he had left on the bed. The only saving grace of the situation was that as you shimmied them over the swell of your ass, the fabric was stretching a tad too tight, meaning that you got to watch Joel’s eyes roll into the back of his head at the sight of it.

“C’mon honey, don’t do that to me right now. Not with your mama poking around downstairs, she doesn’t need another reason to hate me,” he groaned.

“Need I remind you that I wasn’t the one that picked these out,” you shot back.

Chuckling at the redness that flooded his cheeks, you clipped your bra in place and grabbed the soft men’s shirt that had been left. Clearly, it had come from the boxes that were filled with clothes meant for him, but you didn’t care. Wearing Joel’s shirts and sweaters had become something of an addiction. It was like you had him wrapped around your body constantly. This shirt wasn’t soaked in his scent like your stash back at the cabin was, for that type of treasure you would have to wait for him to wear a few of them, but it would do for now.

“What did you think would happen? That she would just pretend you didn’t exist?,” Joel pointed out, making you grimace as you were reminded of who waited for you downstairs.

You sighed, “I don’t know, I guess I thought she’d leave it. I mean, what’s the point, right? She fucking hates me and I… Well, um I…”

No matter how mad you were, you couldn’t say that what you felt for her was hate. The feelings you had towards her were certainly just as complicated as hatred, but the sentiment didn’t quite cover it. Somehow, despite everything, there was a part of you that still loved her.

She had hurt you so deeply that the damage would probably remain for the rest of your life, but there was also still a piece of you that wanted her approval so badly that it hurt.

“Baby, I…,” Joel’s voice faltered and he stopped, clearing his throat as he tried to think of the right words to say.

“When I met her in the arena, she was all bruised up and half naked. She had been tortured and raped for God knows how long, but do you know who she asked me about, despite everything that had happened to her?,” he asked.

A heavy weight sunk into the center of your chest, making you want nothing more than to forget the clothes and dive under the covers for the rest of the day. You knew the answer to Joel’s question, but it was too hard to hear, as was the reminder of her previous circumstances. To your disappointment, he had a point, but you weren’t sure if that point held any serious weight. Of course you were heartbroken that she had been treated as if she were some sort of plaything for the alphas, it made you sick to think about what she must have been through, but did that excuse everything else she had done?

Memories flashed in your mind, making you dizzy as water filled your mouth. The sound of her laughter as your father spun her around the kitchen rang in your ears, followed by the sharp tone she used when she belittled you in front of the entire community. You felt her fingers carefully combing through your hair as she braided it for the first day of kindergarten, but it was dwarfed by a phantom pinch to your side. How could she care and yet still put you through so much pain? And more importantly, how could you reconcile the two versions of her that existed?

“Me, it was me she asked about,” you conceded, trying not to sound childish as you finished shoving the excess fabric of the T-shirt into your jeans.

Joel grabbed the pair of fuzzy socks from the bed before you could, motioning for you to trade spots with him. Sighing, you rolled your eyes at him as you sat on the edge of the mattress. He picked up your left foot, pressing a kiss to your ankle and rolling the sock on carefully. The right foot got similar treatment and although you tried hard to ignore the warmth his kisses left behind, you couldn’t help the giggle you let out when he playfully bit your calf.

“There she is,” Joel softly cheered, gently placing your sock covered foot back on the ground with a grin.

You smiled and cupped his cheeks, brushing your thumbs over the salt and pepper stubble that was close to taking over his whole face. His curls flopped onto his forehead, making him look almost boyish despite the gray. As you pushed them back into place, you noticed how much harder it was getting to make them stick.

“Hmmm, you need to shave… and maybe a haircut too,” you remarked.

Joel chuckled, “And you’re trying to distract yourself by fussin’ over me.”

“You fucker,” you bit back, with no real heat behind your words.

Joel laughed at your insult, undisturbed by the curse you threw at him. He ignored your groan as he helped you to your feet, planting a kiss on the top of your head to silence any further protest. When he pulled away, his gaze was loving as you looked up at him, making your insides turn to goo.

“Honey look, if you really don’t want to speak to her I’ll send her away, but I think you should try. I know that y’all have a past, and I’m not tryna justify anything she did, but maybe it could give you some closure. It’s not much but I don’t know, it could help,” Joel said hopefully.

Once again, he was right and you hated it. There were so many questions that had been left unanswered by your abrupt departure from the camp. And as much as you were loath to admit it, Joel was right, this could be a chance to get some context on your previous life. Still, the thought of being around her put you on edge in a way that nothing else could, making it nearly impossible to slow your racing heart. As you tried to pry your mind from the dark place her arrival had put you in, you focused on Joel’s scent and the way his hands felt on your body to distract from the sense of impending doom.

“Okay, just… just try not to leave me alone with her for too long?,” you had asked hopefully, earning a quick agreement from him.

And yet, at the first withering glare sent Joel’s way, he had folded immediately. Mumbling something about scrounging up a cup of coffee for you all, he had retreated to the kitchen to bang around instead of sticking to his guns. Now you were sitting, waiting for her to tear you down in some newer, more brutal way.

“Joel is a good cook, maybe we could have you over sometime,” you tried, internally cursing yourself for offering.

There was no part of you that wanted to host a dinner where your mother was one of the guests, you weren’t even sure why you offered. But the longer that the silence went on, the more you wanted to run away screaming. The offer had fallen out of your mouth before you could truly think it through. Every muscle in your body was tense, as if it was reading itself for an attack and if she didn’t say something soon, you were sure that you were going to grab her by the shoulders and shake her until she broke.

“He cooks for you?,” was all she asked in response.

You nodded, waiting for her to diminish him for it but she didn’t. She blinked and looked away, finally releasing you from the harsh grip of her gaze. It was then that you noticed the lines that had taken over her face, along with the silver that had begun to crowd her usual color. She looked older, much older than the woman who had helped you escape Paul over a year ago. Her body, the one that was shaped so much like your own, was depleted and you grimaced at the sharp edges of bones that stuck out from beneath her thick turtleneck. While you were being fed delicious meals by a man that loved you, she was being starved and abused. The thought of it made you feel slightly guilty.

“Mom,” you sighed, “Why are you here?”

Her head whipped back towards you, with the fire in her eyes completely extinguished. All that remained was grief, worry, and something that was akin to regret as she looked at you. The air in your lungs grew stale as you waited for her to answer. Although you had expected her to once again exceed your expectations for human cruelty during her visit, she was uncharacteristically silent. Somehow, that was worse.

“I came because you are my daughter and I… I was worried about… Well, I needed to make sure that the idiot in the kitchen was doing his duty, that he was taking care of you. If you have to choose someone so old, he better at least be competent,” she rambled.

A pang of grief broke your heart wide open, souring your scent and making your stomach lurch at the familiar feeling of her scorn. It was a hurt like no other, the type that only a family member could give to you, one that had the ability to scar more deeply than any other. She was your mother, and she couldn’t even admit that she was worried about you. Instead she was focused on picking apart your mate, the man you so clearly adored.

“Joel is a good man,” you said in a low voice, the warning in your tone evident, “He loves me and I love him. We take care of each other because we’re partners. I’m sorry that you’ve forgotten what loving someone feels like, but don’t put that on us.”

From the moment the words had left your mouth, you knew that they were a little much, but you couldn’t take them back. And you weren’t sure that you wanted to. Her presence was eating you alive and if you didn’t do something, if you didn’t push back in some way, you were scared that there was going to be nothing left of the woman you had become. That her scorn would strip you of all of your growth, until nothing but the furious teenager who hated her life remained.

“Don’t speak to me like that young lady, I am your mother,” she snapped, making the fire in your chest burn even brighter with rage.

You laughed, “Since when?”

The shock on her face was priceless. It was almost worth the insults that were likely to be thrown your way in return. You wanted her to push you, to stoke the fire just a little more, anything to justify letting loose the vile insults that you had been sitting on for years.

“Look, I am not here to argue with you. I’ve accepted that the man who knocked you up is only a few years younger than me, that’s not why I am here. I just wanted to see my daughter. Is that such a crime?,” she hissed, somehow knowing enough to quiet her voice to keep Joel from hearing.

You gasped, eyes widening in disbelief as you tried to sort through your racing thoughts for a response.

She rolled her eyes, “Yes, I know. I would say that I’m surprised that your mate hasn’t figured it out, but it seems that he is missing some of his mental faculties. A little health tip, your scent makes it obvious. All I can smell is him all over you, there’s barely any of yours left at all.”

Of course, your scent. How stupid had you been to not think about that? Aspen didn’t have x-ray vision and neither did Tommy, they just had functioning noses. You had been so distracted with the arrival to Jackson, and then so focused on learning about Joel’s past, that you had made up a world where everyone around you was somehow superhuman. Leave it to your mother to force you back into reality.

“Joel isn’t dumb,” you answered, still too shocked to sound overly convincing, “He’s just been… distracted and so have I.”

She shook her head, narrowing her eyes in a way that made you want to punch her straight in the nose.

“If you wanted to bond with an older alpha, I would have accepted it, but you chose this man? A man that, from what I hear, is just as violent as Paul,” she spat.

All of the anger you had been shoving down boiled over in an instant and you slammed your hands down on the coffee table with a loud bang. Rage fueled and softly growling at the mere sight of her, your presence in the room grew bigger by the second as you loomed over the table. She raised her brows at your outburst, surprised by your possessive display.

“If you EVER compare Joel to that prick again, I will drop-kick your ass out of this house myself. Joel is my person, everything he does is for me. I’ve never even asked. He just does it because he loves me and wants to make me happy. So no, he is not like fucking Paul,” you spat.

The expression on her face was unreadable as you fumed above her, gritting your teeth together to stop yourself from lunging over the table. With your heart pounding in your ears, the wild thumps blocking out any other sound, you wickedly hoped that she would say something. The thought of pulling her down the hall by her hair, of pushing her ass into the snow and out of your life for good was so enticing that you longed to goad her into it.

However, just before you could say something that would ruin the relationship forever, Joel stepped in the room. His presence acted as a pin to the bubble of resentment that filled the space and you sighed as all of your rage slowly drained away. He didn’t even have to say anything. The sight of him trying to juggle three steaming mugs in his large hands, cussing as some of the liquid scalded him, was enough to calm you.

“Baby,” you yelped, rushing over to grab the one that looked like it was about to fall.

“I had it,” Joel grunted.

You huffed out a laugh and rolled your eyes,“Sure you did cowboy.”

Joel followed you back to the table, taking the seat to your right. When he lifted his arm, you scooched under it, allowing him to throw it over your shoulders. You sighed, allowing his presence in the room to strengthen you with each passing moment. Luckily, Joel was doing much better this time. He didn’t wither under her stare like he had before, only looked at her blankly as she tried to eviscerate him with her eyes.

“You could have done better, that’s all that I’m saying,” she concluded, picking up her mug to take a sip of the coffee.

“Oh for fuck’s sake mom,” you groaned, earning another sharp gaze from her.

You were almost ready to drag her out of the house by her hair, but again, Joel interjected before you could do something stupid.

“I couldn’t agree more ma’am,” he piped up.

Joel ignored you balking at him, continuing to stare straight ahead. His free hand snuck over under the table, squeezing your own until you relaxed.

“I don’t know why, but she loves me. She loves me so much that she took down pretty much all of Paul’s men and the guy himself to save me. And fuck, I just slashed through a cult to keep her safe. We have and will do anything for eachother, no matter what,” Joel said calmly.

Your mother clicked her tongue, sitting back in her chair with an odd look on her face. She stared at him like she was trying to see through him, like she was trying to pry the secrets out of his soul by piercing him with her gaze.

“I see,” she drawled, cocking an eyebrow at Joel as she continued, “I suppose you want me to be thrilled that my daughter’s husband allowed her to chase after that madman. Shall I congratulate her for her kill, or you for being such an open minded alpha?”

“He’s not my husband, we’re bonded-”

“She doesn’t need my permission to do anyth-”

Joel’s words overlapped with yours, making you both stop to look at each other with raised brows. Your mother said nothing, sitting quietly as the two of you dropped it and turned back towards her. She stared at the inside of her mug, picking at the chipped ceramic with faraway eyes.

You watched as she rubbed at the ring finger on her left hand, the one that used to hold the gold band that doubled as a shackle for years. She looked defeated, worn down by the weight of loss and life. Despite your resentment, a part of you wished for the ability to take it away. When she finally looked at you again, with an expression chalk full of unprecedented understanding, you softened a bit

“The only marriage I ever had was to your stepfather, to Josiah, and that,” she cringed, “That was… clearly the wrong choice, but I made it. I had to live with the consequences of that and so did my only child. And now, I… I do not want you to make the same mistake as me.”

A heart broken sigh left her mouth and she looked away, glaring at the wall as she wiped tears from her face and tried to regain her composure. Joel leaned back in his seat, subconsciously distancing himself from her outburst, while you were at a loss. There were only two times in your life when you had seen her cry. The first time was before the outbreak, while she was comforting your father after the death of his mother. And the second time was a few months later, when you were both forced to say goodbye to him for the last time before she put a bullet between his eyes.

Seeing her defeated was what you had wanted, but now it all seemed so cruel. She was, much to your disappointment, no longer a threat. All that remained of that formidable beast that poisoned your childhood with venomous words was a broken woman who was completely lost in the world and in herself. To harm her now would be an act of pointless cruelty, something that you had no taste for.

Disarmed by her pitiful state, you sighed and dropped Joel’s hand, reaching out to grab hers across the table. She snapped her gaze back towards you, her eyes widening at the affectionate act. You couldn’t blame her for the look of shock on her face, you couldn’t remember the last time either of you had treated the other with care.

“Mom,” you tried, “I know that Josiah put you through so much, and I’m sure Paul’s group put you through worse, but Joel isn’t like them. He found me half dead in the woods and cared for me, no strings attached. I was the one that chased after him. I claimed him first, not the other way around.”

She cocked her head, easing up on the glare when her eyes landed on Joel again. He didn’t cringe when she looked at him, although you did feel it when he squeezed you tighter to his side to withstand the attention, but that was typical. Joel’s disdain for the spotlight grew incredibly clear every time he tried to use you as a cover, silently clinging to your shadow to shield himself from scrutiny.

“I know you can’t see it right now, but you will. I chose Joel for a reason. He’s the only person I’ve ever wanted and he makes me happy, okay? I’m happy when I’m with him, don’t you want that for me?,” you pleaded, begging her to see the truth in your words.

Her response was cut off by a loud bang that made the entire group jump, followed by the sound of little feet running down the hall. Joel was up in a flash, shielding you with his body as heavier footsteps stomped after whatever tiny beast skittered into the room. You cringed as the footsteps grew nearer, grabbing the back of Joel’s to keep him in check. But instead of a beast, a curly haired little girl raced into the room, shrieking as she launched herself into your mother’s lap.

“Hi Allie,” your mother chirped, smiling as she brushed glossy strands behind her ear.

Allie babbled at her nonsensically, slapping her hands on your mother’s shoulders to emphasize her point. It was weird to watch her so… maternal, nodding along to her words as if she understood them and even making affirmative noises in response. The smallest pinch of jealousy dug into you for a second, nestling itself deep inside of your chest until you batted it away. It wasn’t fair to feel that way and plus, you didn’t care about who your mother gave her affections to… Right?

From the corner of your eye, you saw Joel move out of the way, allowing for the person you had been dying to see to waltz into the room. Clad in a pair of form fitting jeans and a soft looking green sweater, Jake grinned widely at you from the doorway. Shrieking in delight, you launched yourself at him and he fell into the wall with a muffled oof as you crushed him in a tight hug. Tears poured down your face, his own dampening your shoulder as you choked on a sob.

Jake clung to you, the both of you crying and babbling sentiments that only each other understood. For months, you had mourned the best friend you thought had died alongside Miriam and Rachel, yet here he was. When he pulled away, with his face just as puffy as your own, all you could do was smile. Suddenly, you felt like the same fifteen year old that had finally been released from a grounding and made it her first mission on the outside to track down their bestfriend. The one that stole her stepfather’s liquor to go skinny dipping with the other teens after dark. It made you cry even harder.

“Oh girl, we’ve gotta get it together. We’re a fucking mess right now,” Jake said through a watery laugh.

You returned the laugh, nodding as you wiped the tears from your face.

“Dada bad,” Allie chided, breaking through the tension with a clipped tone as she turned towards her other parent that loomed in the doorway.

Cooper stepped out from behind his mate, awkwardly scooching past so he could lift Allie from your mother’s arms. She babbled and pointed, sounding almost indignant at her father’s bad language. You laughed at her attempts at calling Jake out, the sass in her voice evident as she ranted. It seemed that your best friend had a clone.

“That’s right Allie-girl, that was a bad word. Daddy forgets that you’re going to be talking soon, doesn’t he?” he cooed, keeping his tone playful despite the point he was trying to convey from across the room.

Jake laughed and shook his head, unbothered by Cooper’s words. You watched as he walked over and kissed his mate’s cheek, stopping to softly apologize to the toddler. Even though it was slightly jarring to see, you couldn’t help but notice how happy they looked. As if it had been meant to be all along.

Jake sighed and turned towards the group, smiling widely when he caught you staring. If it was anybody else, you would’ve felt bad, but you knew he was just as nosy as you. He shook his head, clapping his hands and rubbing them together as he geared up for whatever grand announcement he was about to make.

“Alright, who's hungry? We brought breakfast,” Jake announced.

The breakfast Jake brought with him was over the top, just as most of the things involving him were, but he refused any protest sent his way. According to him, he had been saving up any extra scrap of food that came his way, patiently waiting for the day you finally arrived in Jackson so that he could welcome you. That caused another round of tears from you, which were quickly mirrored by him, and the two of you dissolved into sobs until your respective mates had to drag you away from one another for a few minutes.

Once the breakfast was done and everyone’s bellies were full, the group scattered throughout the first floor of the home. Allie and your mother were in the piano room, coloring on scraps of paper as the little girl continued to rattle on about all of the things in her world. Cooper and Joel were tucked away in the kitchen, having a long winded conversation about fixing the air compression in some of the greenhouses. And that left you and Jake to the dining room, tucked away from everyone else so that you could catch up. It was strange how easily everyone fell into a form of domesticity, almost like the weeks of bloodshed had never happened at all.

When everyone broke off into their respective pairs, you kept Jake for yourself, pulling him back into the dining room so the two of you could drink out of mugs and chat like the adults you apparently were. He followed without question, handing Allie off to your mother so that the two of you could catch up. Once everyone else was distracted, you explained to him your side of things, laughing at his praise for killing his mate’s brother.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Bitch, what the fuck?! You’re my hero!,” was bellowed by your best friend, the sound of it echoing down the halls.

Jake’s shout was answered by a swift reminder from the kitchen, Cooper’s voice begging his husband to cool it on account of their daughter. The two of you giggled like school children, slapping each other as you tried to keep it down for everyone else’s sake. When the laughter finally died down, you sighed and brushed the happy tears away. All you wanted was to have a nice moment with your friend, but you couldn’t push away the questions you had for him.

For months, maybe even years, Jake had kept Cooper a secret from you. There was no way you were going to let that slide. Thinking about all of the secrets that had been kept, your smile faltered and Jake caught it immediately, rolling his eyes as he turned to sip at his tea.

“Go on, ask me about it. I know you want to,” he sighed into the mug.

“Actually?,” you questioned.

“Actually.”

Jake waited and you breathed in, not wanting to ruin the moment but desperate to understand how or why your best friend had hidden something as big as a child. And not only the child, but he had also kept the fact that he was seeing Cooper from you.

“What in the hell is happening between you and your husband? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that you’re happy. But in my head, I always thought that you guys were in a FORCED marriage, not the kind that leads to secret love babies conceived out of wedlock,” you rushed out.

He blinked at your word vomit, opening and closing his mouth a few times before he started to laugh. Jake shook his head, mouthing the words love babies back to you so that you could see how ridiculous they were. You rolled your eyes at his teasing, looking expectantly at him as you waited for an answer.

“We are happy. It’s been complicated but we’re finally good. I want to tell you, there’s just so much that’s happened. Give me a second,” Jake said.

Waiting patiently for his response, you watched as Jake pressed his index finger to his nose as he tried to remember it all. It made you smile to see it, Joel had once mentioned how it was a trait the two of you shared. For a moment, you wondered who had done it first, but waved it off. It’s not like it mattered much at this point anyways.

When Jake was ready, he began, and it was all so much more complicated than you could have imagined. From the moment he had been of age to be married off, another alpha had been proposed for his mate. His aunt had tried to fend him off, giving poor excuses each time to give Jake a bit more time, but the older alpha was persistent. You remembered the man he was talking about and gagged at the match, that creep was almost in his eighties by the time the camp had been raided.

Despite Jake’s constant attempts to dodge him, the elderly man followed him around camp, popping up at every turn. One day, after the guy followed him for the majority of the day, a terrified Jake had spied Cooper along the edges of camp tending to his not so secret flowers. With no other choice, he ran over to the mousy haired man and kissed him as hard as he could, ensuring that that creep would finally take the hint.

And much to Jake’s surprise, Cooper was okay with it, albeit a bit bashful as the omega rambled to him about his struggles. He even let him stick around for a while, listening intently as Jake ranted about Josiah’s choice for his mate and even letting out a few dry quips that made feel less on edge. Cooper’s nervousness was obvious but the longer Jake stayed, babbling about anything and everything that popped into his head as the alpha gardened, he couldn’t help but be intrigued. You smiled at that. It reminded you of how Joel used to sit silently as you told him stories about your past, soaking it all in as he shared the first few meals with you at the cabin.

“I started looking for him everywhere. It was honestly a bit embarrassing how obsessed I was with him, that’s why I never said anything about it. I was practically stalking him,” Jake admitted.

You laughed at his candor, “I wouldn’t have made fun of you! I would’ve helped you stalk him, binoculars and all.”

He snorted, shaking his head at your response, “You’re right, I’ll keep that in mind next time I find myself in someone’s bushes.”

After the kiss, it had taken three weeks for Jake to find Cooper’s hiding spot in the basement of the chapel. A place where, according to him, soon became a sort of love nest for the two of them. The first time they kissed for real was there, along with the first of what would become many times that they had sex amongst the shelves of books. You laughed at the admission, remembering how guilty Cooper had looked the one time you had caught him down there. Jake cocked an eyebrow at your laughter, looking at you strangely as you cackled before him.

“No, it's nothing bad,” you panted, wiping the tears from your eyes, “I found him down there once and I swear to god, Cooper acted like I had caught him committing a crime. Now I know why.”

Jake joined you in a round of laughter, shaking his head at his mate’s obvious awkwardness. To Cooper’s credit, you never once thought that he was down there because he was waiting for your best friend to show up for a quickie. You just thought that he didn’t want anyone to know about his hideout, you had even decided to avoid the spot out of respect.

“Yeah, I love him, but he’s not exactly smooth,” he chuckled.

Jake continued on with the story and you had the pleasure of watching your overly confident best friend grow pink in the cheeks as he explained how they had fallen madly in love. While you were being punished with solitude and chores, Jake had spent his days sneaking away for make out sessions and long winded chats with the man that avoided most human interaction like it was the plague. Realistically, Cooper was the best person for Jake to have a secret romance with, as nobody ever paid him any mind. Perhaps that’s why it took Paul so long to notice his brother’s unusually happy mood, but he had.

Cooper had already been afraid of having a family even before his older brother had found out about him and Jake. He didn’t want to subject another to his brother and was worried about being like the brutal patriarchs in his family that destroyed everything in their path. When Cooper had broken it off, he had done so to save Jake from having to be tied to him for life, completely unaware that Allie was already on the way.

Jake was heart broken and found solace in Liam, the sweet omega boy who always complimented him on his style. He even managed to fall in love with him, but it wasn’t the same sort of love, it was more akin to a fondness than anything else. But of course, Paul had already taken an interest in his brother’s love life, which meant that he soon figured out who had loosened up the flighty alpha and asked Josiah to bless their union. After which, Cooper and Jake were told that they were to be married and instead of it being a joyous occasion, it was the worst day of their lives.

“Coop was so scared, he wouldn’t even look at me after Josiah said it. And I couldn’t take it any longer, the second they left the room I told him I was pregnant. He lost it and started begging me to get out before Paul did something. He told me to take Liam and go, so I went,” Jake sighed, sounding so defeated by the memory.

You squeezed his hand, nodding for him to continue despite how painful it was. He smiled at you and squeezed back, taking a deep breath as he dove back in.

After they were caught, Liam was killed and Jake married Cooper, leading to a depressing first few weeks as husbands. Jake continued to grow Allie in secret, hiding the growing bump under sweaters and uncharacteristically baggy shirts. It was only a few days after your wedding that it became impossible to hide and, with you on the run, he was left to deal with the consequences of that with his mate. When they found you at that abandoned diner, you were subsequently thrown in the pit for another two months, which was when he brought Allie into the world.

“She was so small, I thought she was going to die. Then the infected came and everything happened so fast I just…,” Jake choked on his words, the shame evident in his voice.

“You thought she was dead. That’s why you never said anything,” you answered.

He nodded, “Miriam and Rachel didn’t push me to talk about it, so I didn’t. What was there to say? I had just lost my entire family and we were all on the move, I didn’t see the point in bringing it up anymore.”

“I would’ve still liked to hear about them,” you murmured.

Joel turned and hugged you with all of his might, crushing your body into his with a brute strength that you greedily returned. He nosed at your hair and breathed in, soaking up your scent as you did the same to him. Relaxing into the embrace, it felt like it was only the two of you against the entire world, just as it had always been.

“I’m so sorry for not telling you about, well, everything. It just happened so quickly and you had your own shit going on, I didn’t know how. Then after we left, I couldn’t do it anymore. It hurt too much,” Jake muttered against your hair.

Pulling back, you shook your head at him.

“Don’t apologize, none of that matters now. We’re alive and we both have our families, we made it. Whatever happens in the future, at least we’re safe now,” you said, pushing away from him so that you could wipe the fresh wave of tears away.

Jake smiled at you knowingly, his teeth glimmering in the sunlight as he cocked an eyebrow at you. Somehow, you knew what he was going to say before he said it, bracing yourself for the inevitable accusation that you knew was coming. If your emotional outbursts weren’t enough, Jake had just shoved his entire face into the place that oozed your scent, ensuring that he could smell what your mother had. He scooched closer, looking around to ensure there were no alphas lurking around to hear.

“Babes, it’s okay. You’re not the only one,” Jake whispered, patting his lower abdomen for emphasis.

You blinked at that, “What?! Really?”

He nodded, whipping his head around again before he continued to whisper.

“I don’t know how to tell him. We literally fucked once in like, the most depressing place possible, and then boom! Prison baby on the way. Coop is going to flip,” he groaned, rubbing his temples at the thought of it.

“I don’t know how to tell Joel either, we’ve both been through so much and he…,” you trailed off, not wanting to divulge any of his secrets.

Jake nodded, seeming like he knew what you were talking about regardless.

“Joel’s dead daughters and how fucked up he is because of them is all anyone talks about, especially since he went all Fight Club at the Bison a couple years back. I’m up to speed on your mate’s trauma, don’t you worry,” he waved you off.

Sputtering at his bluntness, you watched as he grinned and drank from his mug. A part of you wanted to defend Joel, but Jake wasn’t being entirely inaccurate, and you also knew he didn’t mean anything by it really. Shock value and a laugh was really all he was gunning for, as per usual.

“We should tell Cooper and Joel together, make it like a fun double date,” Jake proposed, elbowing you in the ribs as he waggled his eyebrows.

You scoffed, “I think that they would hate that so much that they might leave us and run away together.”

Howls of laughter exploded from both of you, easing the tension from the previous conversation until it was all but gone. You laughed until your faces were flushed, cheeks stained with tears as your bellies ached from the effort. It was everything and more. Just as the laughter died down, wiping the tears from your faces as the two of you calmed, Cooper stuck his head in.

Allie was in his arms, squirming and angrily slamming a toy against the top of his head to alert him of her displeasure. Cooper winced and tried to shield himself from the abuse but she was sneaky, dropping the toy so that she could yank at his hair instead. Her little hands tugged at the mousy strands, making him grimace as pulled them away with the utmost care.

“Hey, she’s getting pretty cranky. I know you want to catch up J, but I’ve got to get to the greenhouse and her mom already went home. We should - ow Allie, gentle please,” Cooper rushed out, prying his daughter’s fingers from his nostrils as he spoke.

Jake laughed at his daughter’s behavior, standing up from his seat at the table so he could meet them in the doorway. He took her, cooing at her whines and bouncing the toddler on his hip to quell her impatience. Cooper picked up the toy that lay on the ground, keeping it for himself rather than handing it to the aggravated child that would undoubtedly throw it back at his face.

“Aw Allie-girl, what have I told you? We beat Papa up after his shift, not before,” Jake chided, earning a snort from his mate.

Cooper rolled his eyes, “Ha - ha, you’re so funny. Can we go? Allie’s got about three minutes before a total meltdown and I don’t want to have to replace all of the things she’s about to break in here if we don’t get her down in time.”

Jake nodded and yelled his goodbyes to Joel in the kitchen, promising to come back soon so that he could grill him properly as he rangled his daughter out the door. You followed them out, walking to the end of the driveway rather than leaving them at the door. He was going to come back, you told yourself, he lived in town and you were going to see him again. For some reason, it was incredibly hard for you to let Jake go, even though you knew that he would likely be only a few minutes away.

“Hey, it’s not like we’re far,” Jake said in a soothing voice when he noticed the depressed look on your face, “We’re literally right at the end of the street. It’s that green house on the corner, the one straight across from your mom’s.”

The two houses at the very end of the street, just ten houses down from the one you resided in, had been taken up by your remaining loved ones. On one hand, you were overjoyed to be so close to Jake’s family and couldn’t wait to be within walking distance of him again. On the other hand, you weren’t sure how to feel about your proximity to your mother.

“They put all of us on the same street? Why? Everyone else lives on the other side of town,” you wondered aloud.

Cooper huffed, kicking at the snow as he mumbled, “Gotta keep all the freaks in one place.”

“Being freaky is so much more fun though, isn’t it babe?,” Jake shot back, playfully nudging his husband.

Cooper scoffed at his suggestive wink, scooping Allie up and walking away without another word as his face turned crimson.

“Come on, that was funny!,” Jake called after him.

“Hilarious,” Cooper called back, his tone brimming with sarcasm.

Jake bounded after him, turning to wave goodbye as he caught up with his husband. You watched him go, feeling warm when Cooper said something to your best friend that made him laugh so hard that he choked on it. They were weirdly perfect, despite the fact that they were undeniably different from one another. The family they had built was a happy one, even with everything that had worked to keep them apart. It made you hopeful for your own future.

Joel’s voice called you back inside and you turned, smiling as you walked up the driveway. He stood in the doorway, chastising you for going out without a coat as he pulled you inside. And you let him, unable to stop the grin that was plastered over your face as he hurried you over to the couch, throwing a ridiculous amount of blankets over you despite the fire that kept the room toasty warm.

“What’s got you all goofed up?,” Joel chuckled.

You beamed at him, “Nothing, I’m just happy that Jake’s happy. We’re all happy and now I’m sappy. Hey! That rhymed.”

He snorted, sizing you up as he kneeled in between your legs. Joel gripped the side of your face in his hands, pulling you forward so he could kiss your forehead. He brushed his lips over your skin there, warming it with his breath when he spoke.

“Well then, I guess I’m happy too honey,” he said and you hummed in response.

Jake and Cooper had a rocky start, that much was clear by their past, but they had managed to come together. They had a family and it was about to add a new member. Maybe Joel and you had a different shared past, as well as the complicated lives you had lived before meeting each other, but maybe you could both pull through like they did. If they could get past all of that, perhaps that could be you and Joel someday. You could see it, even if you weren’t sure how you would get there.

But none of that mattered, not when Joel was kissing you like his life depended on it. Ridding you of the clothes he had left out this morning as you returned the favor, soon nothing but a mess of tangled limbs and panting gasps as he thrusted into you hard. By the time you had released around him for the third time, screaming his name as you finally pulled him into the throes of pleasure from the sheer force of your orgasm, the hesitation had melted away.

As Joel slumped over your body, mindlessly nosing at your breasts while he came down from his high, you no longer felt afraid to tell him. All that was left to do was to plan it out. You still wanted to see the doctor first, to ensure that you weren’t going to risk him going into heart failure for no good reason. The news was going to throw him through a loop no matter what, which meant that you had to get it right. Maybe, if you could control the setting and the timing of the announcement, it would help him cope a little better. Soon you would tell him, you promised yourself as you felt him drift off into sleep, soon.

As Joel crushed you into the couch for the second time that day, mumbling your name in his sleep, any worries about him leaving were long gone. He chose to be with you, time and time again, despite the hassle it had been thus far. Joel loved you with every fiber of his being, you didn’t even need his bite marks on your neck to know that. If he was going to freak out, he would freak out, but he would always return home to you. You were sure of it.

Fate would unravel itself as it always had, and you had to accept there was no controlling the type of future it brought. All you needed to do was have trust in the man that you loved, regardless of your own fears. Allowing yourself to be lulled into a state of peace by your new outlook and the weight of Joel’s body, you fell into a dreamless sleep in his arms.

- Joel -

The days in Jackson seemed to blur together, until it had suddenly been two weeks since the two of you had rode in through the gates. During that time, he watched as you settled into the community with much more ease than him. While he was still subjected to the scoffs and eye rolls from the Jackson residents, they came to welcome you with open arms. Rather than being jealous, he was glad. He watched as you took walks with Jake and his daughter, strolling with your arms looped together as you chatted about anything and everything, undisturbed by the scathing looks he was used to.

Maria had yet to designate either of you jobs, so he was glad that you had friends to distract you from idleness. Meanwhile, he was going crazy. While you were out socializing, he was stuck moping and doing random fix ups to the old place to pass the time. So far, Joel had wrapped all of the windows upstairs so that they were insulated from the cold, he had fixed some of the faulty wiring so that the two of you didn’t die in a house fire, and he even found the time to fix the crack in the foundation.

It was funny, whereas you had been making the house more homey through decorating for the past two weeks, he found himself playing handyman. He knew it was irrational, especially with the timeline for your time in Jackson so up in the air, but he needed to make it more comfortable for you. It felt oddly similar to the need to protect Joel had felt during his rut, the same one that had lured him outside to put up a ridiculous amount of useless fencing.

Joel got a few respites from his self imposed chores, one being when Cooper finally swung back around to get him to help fix the greenhouses. It was a quiet day, filled with nothing but short directions from Joel and the occasional grunt of affirmation from the other alpha, but it was one of the best days he had in a while. He felt useful to the community, needed by someone other than his mate. Afterwards, Joel tried to broach the topic to Tommy but was shut down, with the younger man reminding him that it was his wife that made the rules, not him.

The only other time Joel was distracted by his growing boredom was when you were home, as you would undoubtedly be throwing yourself at him every chance you got. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into you but he didn’t care to ask, not when you were yanking on his belt at every turn and presenting yourself at the drop of a hat. In the two weeks since being in Jackson, he was proud to say that every room in the house had been christened by your incessant love making. At this rate, Joel was surprised that you hadn’t ripped a rut out of him.

And today was no different. Today, Joel had woken up to the feeling of something warm and wet enveloping his cock, softing sucking him out of the pleasant dream he had been having. He gasped and looked around for any sign of his mate, confused at the toe curling sensation stirring below his belly button. When he finally peeled the sheets away from his lower half, Joel could’ve sworn he died and went to heaven. There, kneeled between his legs like a good girl, was you sucking on his fully hardened length like it was the most delicious candy you had ever tasted.

“Oh fuck honey,” Joel groaned, his voice still gravelly from sleep.

Popping off of him, you smiled as you started milking him with your hands. Precum pearled at his reddened tip and you leaned forward, licking it up before you moved down to his balls. Joel jumped when you took one of them into your mouth, making him hiss from the sparks of pleasure that grew hotter by the second.

“Baby, baby, baby, fuuuuck,” he cried out.

Joel gripped the sheets, his hair, the pillow, anything he could so that he didn’t fall off the face of the earth. Nobody had ever woken him up like this before and although the two of you had talked about it, Joel had originally thought that it would be him that tried it first. How surprising was it that it was him that was starting the day as a babbling mess, seconds from cumming as you tried to fit both of his balls in your mouth and gifted him with the harsh strokes that drove him wild.

“C-Cum, m’gonna cum, oh my god. Fuck darling, so good, such a good fucking girl, ooooh shit,” Joel moaned, his cock twitching hard as he neared his release.

“Good, cum in my mouth, wanna to taste you,” you panted, not giving him a second to think before you took his length all the way down your throat.

He groaned as he felt your hands massage his heavy sack, your throat contracting around his cock. All it took was for one particularly rough squeeze to his balls and Joel was gone, tugging at your hair and letting out an embarrassingly loud whimper as you swallowed every drop. He came so hard that the muscles in his lower abdomen burned with it, providing a perfect mix of pain and pleasure that kept him cumming until he wasn’t sure it would ever stop. And you took it all, happily humming around him as you chugged down his seed without complaint. It was only when the overstimulation kicked in and Joel was begging you to release him that you finally let him drop from your mouth.

“Mmmmm, what’d ya think?,” you asked, beaming up at him hopefully.

Joel couldn’t answer, too busy panting and trying to calm his racing heart. Instead, he gave you what he was pretty sure was the lamest thumbs up anyone had ever given. You laughed at it, using the hand to clamber up from beneath the sheets. He hissed when you straddled him, his softening cock pressing against your drenched seam.

“That good, huh?,” you gloated.

He nodded, still red in the face as he wheezed, “I’m a lucky man.”

Joel smiled when you threw your head back in laughter. The way the sound of it filled the room always made his heart soar, with each note of it hitting him square in the chest. It drew something out in him, something that burned so brightly that he had no choice but to flip you over so that he could worship you properly. The moan you let out when he attacked your throat with his sloppy kisses was music to his ears and he was desperate to hear more, sinking his teeth into your gland so that you howled in delight.

“Please! Need, I need,” you panted, unable to get it out.

He smirked against your collarbone, continuing to leave a trail of spit and teeth marks down your body until he reached your hardened nipples. Fingers slithered into Joel’s hair when he sucked one into his mouth, tightening their hold when he brought his fingers up to pluck at its neglected twin. His mouth watered, the smell of your arousal making his cock twitch painfully back to life in between his legs, but this wasn’t about him. This was about you and your insatiable pussy.

“Y’gonna be my good girl today honey?,” Joel drawled, cupping your pussy as he mindlessly flicked your spit slicked nipples.

You nodded, bucking your hips into him to emphasize your enthusiasm. He chuckled and tsked, biting down on one of your nubs until your back bowed from the sting.

“Words, don’t make me ask again,” Joel reminded you, ignoring your whines as switched his focus to worrying the other one between his teeth.

“G-Good girl, I’m gonna - fuu-uuck - I’m gonna be your good girl. Oh shiit, please daddy,” you whimpered.

He grinned wolfishly at you, lifting himself off of you so that he could flop against the mattress again. You scoffed, looking like you were about ready to tear him a new one for teasing you as such, but your reaction was cut short as Joel lifted you from the bed. He brought you back up to straddle him, his eyes glinting with mischief as he flipped you around so that your ass was facing his hungry eyes.

“Joel, what are you - ah!,” you squeaked, squirming as he dragged you back so that your dripping core was positioned right over his face.

“Sit,” Joel commanded, feeling absolutely famished for you as he watched the strings of slick gleam in the morning sun.

You gasped and moaned, more slick gushing from your pulsing hole at his instruction. Joel groaned at the sight, having to restrain himself from sucking the juices from your thighs as he waited. He couldn’t do that, he needed to get it straight from the source.

From the moment he tasted you for the first time, squirming on his tongue as your virgin cunt was blinded by the pleasure of having someone take care of her properly, Joel knew that there would be no going back. Since that day, he wanted nothing more but to spend all day between your plush thighs, letting you suffocate him as you rode out an endless stream of orgasms. And what better way for Joel to make that happen than to have you sit on his face?

“J-Joel please, I can’t. I’ll hurt you,” you whined breathily, still trying to dismount him as he held your hips in place.

Fuck that, he thought.

Joel was a 56 year old man who had survived being shot, stabbed, drugged, and everything else in between. If drowning in his mate’s delicious pussy or being smothered by her thick thighs was how he went, he would be thrilled. Of course, he couldn’t tell you that though. Not when you were suddenly so self conscious.

“Sweetheart, you won’t hurt me. And if it did start hurtin’, I’d just lift ya off. It’s not like I ain’t picked you up before,” he tried, rubbing your hips in a soothing manner and kissing at your soaked thighs.

A silence passed and Joel waited patiently, desperate for it but still wanting to ensure you were comfortable before he continued.

“Are you sure?,” you asked, with your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel bit your inner thigh, making you jump and moan. He laved his tongue over the purple mark he had left behind, kissing it for good measure.

“M’sure, never been more sure about anything in my life. Sit that pretty little pussy on my tongue darling, let me show her how much daddy loves her,” Joel gritted out, growing impatient as he squeezed at your ass and hips.

“Okay Joel, I trust you. How do you want me t-,” your question was cut off by him slamming you down on his face.

The moment that Joel was given the greenlight, all of the restraint in his body vanished. He devoured your pussy, licking and sucking at your folds like a man starved. Waves of slick bathed his face in the most delicious nectar he had ever tasted, making him widen your legs so that he could get access to your most sensitive parts. Falling forward as your body convulsed, you blanketed yourself over his abdomen. Hot puffs of air warmed the inside of Joel’s thigh but he ignored them, focusing solely on the delicious taste of your puffy cunt.

The smell of your softer aroma filled Joel’s nostrils and he groaned when he noticed how it was almost overpowered by his own musk. There was something about his scent mixing with yours that made him undeniably feral for you. It marked you as wholly and undeniably his, screaming to any interested parties that you were taken. The more he thought about it, the more worked up he got, and he had to thrust his tongue into your weeping hole to distract himself.

The moan you let out at the thick muscle breaching your dripping hole was mirrored by him, the both of you growing increasingly desperate as Joel started fucking you with it. His sounds were muffled by your slickened heat as you started rocking against his face, using him in the way he needed you to. He had almost forgotten about his neglected cock, so hellbent on making you cum that Joel almost bucked you off of him when he felt your tongue run up the vein along the underside of him.

“Mmmmphf, fuck honey,” he moaned into your folds, lifting you a bit so he could catch his breath.

You hummed in response and Joel keened, the vibrations of it making his legs twitch against the bed. When you started taking him down your throat again, digging your nails into his thighs to keep him still, Joel had had enough. If you were going to play dirty, so was he. He buried his face back in between your thighs, his hands gripping your hips as he started aiding in your desperate rocking. Moaning as your throbbing clit brushed over Joel’s nose with each stroke, he smirked when he felt himself fall from your mouth.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, pleeeeeease!,” you begged, hips jumping beneath his hold.

Joel continued on, ignoring your requests for mercy. If that’s what you truly wanted, he wouldn’t be your mate. What you needed was for someone to take you apart, ringing out every bit of pleasure that they could before they put you back together again. And Joel, well Joel needed to be the one to do it. Slick drenched his face, baptizing him in rivulets of sticky arousal that he greedily licked up. The legs that bracketed his head started to shake and he doubled down on his efforts, grinding your pussy down on his face until he felt it twitch and release all over him.

“Oh god, yes, yes, yes,” you shouted, with him having to use all of his strength to keep you still.

He didn’t stop when you came down, too drunk off of the feeling of you to even think about letting you go. Joel listened to you sob, crying out for him desperately as he continued to ring out as much pleasure from your core that he could. With his cock weeping angrily against the slight pudge his tummy and you squirming on his tongue, he was in heaven. He was so immersed in your pleasure that he didn’t realize that you had caught your breath and he jumped when you leaned back down to grab his length again.

When Joel felt you swallow him down, this time sucking him even harder and dragging one finger down to trace over his heavy sac, he moaned. But it was when that same finger dipped down even further than usual, brushing over his neglected hole, that he almost screamed. Instead, he convulsed beneath you, his heart thumping wildly in his chest as you pressed on the sensitive skin with a bit more insistence. With your mouth suctioned around his cock so perfectly and your finger playing with the tight ring of muscle, Joel wasn’t sure if he wanted to push forward or back. All he could do was continue to let you take what you wanted, groaning into your folds as your pussy grinded against his face with increasing insistence.

The second your finger breached Joel’s ass, forcing him to stretch around it until the entire fucking thing was nestled inside, he was gone. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he trembled all over, almost levitating from the white hot pleasure that burst from his cock. Spurts of milky white sprayed from his length, painting the back of your throat, and he groaned when he felt you swallow it all down. Joel was floating above himself, so drunk on the pussy that swiped against his nose and soaked his face that he didn’t notice how close you were cumming until you suddenly popped off his spent cock to scream.

“Yes, yes, yes! Just like that, just like that, oh fuck! I love your fucking mouth baby, shiiiiit,” you whined, grinding down hard on Joel’s face as you rode it out.

Joel did his best to help you through it, gripping your hips to help your filthy circular motions when it all became too much for you. He kept it up until you were pleading with him to let you go and even then it still took a few more seconds. When the last tight clenches of your orgasm petered off, leaving behind a delicious mess on his face, Joel relented and helped flip you back around so that you were facing him again.

With flushed cheeks and a touch of his cum glistening from the corner of your swollen mouth, Joel was pretty sure you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen. Finger shaped bruises and love bites covered your body, traces of him left behind for all to see. It made his cock throb painfully, the thought of the rest of town seeing his hickies sucked into the side of your neck bringing out something dark and possessive in him. Something that wanted everyone to know just how well he took care of you, every single night.

As Joel came down from what had been one of the most surprising orgasms of his life, all he could do was think about how lucky he was and gawk at the nymph that had latched herself onto his heart.

“That good, huh?,” you asked, the question more breathy this time on account of the panting.

Joel huffed a laugh, gasping for air as he gave you an even shakier thumbs up than before.

“I’m not just a lucky man baby, I’m the LUCKIEST man,” he huffed, slapping your ass for good measure.

The squeal you let out made Joel laugh harder, with him having to grab your hips to keep you from squirming away. After a few more playful spanks, each of them being answered by another round of giggles that warmed his heart, you finally settled in his lap again. He soothed the red marks he had left behind, cooing when the gun calluses on his rough hands made you whimper. When your fingers inevitably found their way to his hair, Joel couldn’t help the dopey grin that formed on his face. Fuck getting a normal job in Jackson, they should just let him do this all day.

You beamed at him, “I’m glad you liked it baby, I know we never talked about trying something like that but I thought maybe -”

He waved off your needless worrying. If Joel hadn't liked it, he would’ve thrown you off of him, but he didn’t. Joel trusted you, that was what allowed him to relax when he felt your finger brush between his cheeks to begin with. He had never allowed anyone, not even himself, explore that part of his body but he wasn’t angry with you. If anything, he was curious of how many more secret desires you would rip out of him.

“I never thought I’d say this but… God dammit baby, I think we should try that again sometime,” Joel laughed, his cheeks turning pink at the admission.

His stomach clenched at your wicked grin, the slight nervousness he felt making it all the more exciting. Before he could get too antsy, Joel's nerves were soothed when you leaned forward and pressed your mouth against his. The tastes of your releases mingled together and he moaned. He tried and failed to keep his cock from stirring to life but it was impossible, forcing him to promptly pull away before he could get too ahead of himself.

“Oh baby, we gotta take a break. Tommy and I have that meetin’ after breakfast,” he pleaded, debating on whether he should leave his little brother hanging.

“Ugh, fine. Ditch me for your brother, it’s fine,” you groaned, rolling off of him to stand up.

Joel yawned, rubbing his eyes as he slowly moved himself to a seated position. It was times like these that he was reminded of how much younger than him you were. He watched with heavy limbs and even heavier eyelids as you flitted around, unencumbered by the amount of sex that the two of you had been having. While his back was strained from the effort, your mobility seemed undisturbed as he watched you bend over to pilfer through the dresser. Suddenly, Joel wished he was a younger man so that he could ruin you again without giving himself nerve damage.

By the time Joel had finally swung his lead filled legs over the side of the bed, you had already washed up in the bathroom and thrown on a fresh pair of clothes for the day. He chuckled when you rolled your eyes at his lazy movements, too relaxed to be miffed by you wordlessly poking fun at the age difference. Just as he moved to get up, you stepped in front of him, standing in between his legs and lifting his chin to look up at you.

“You need to shave today,” you demanded, giving him a serious look as you thumbed through the patchy beard that was slowly crossing over into mountain man territory.

He grinned, “Yes ma’am. Thought you wanted to help me though?”

A kiss was placed to his forehead and Joel sighed, feeling like he could go back to sleep any second. The meet up with Tommy felt more like an optional side quest at this point. In theory, he was completely okay with blowing it off to fuck you into a nap, but he also knew that his little shit of a brother would come banging down his door immediately. The last thing Joel needed was Tommy catching him in another compromising position with you.

“I’m going to help with your hair. I don’t trust that you won't cut the curls out, but the beard is all yours baby. Just don’t go too crazy with it, leave the mustache and some of the scruff. It looks cute like that,” you instructed, doting on him for a few more seconds before you turned away.

Joel watched you go, hips swaying beneath the jeans that were just a touch too tight over your ass. He wasn’t sure why, perhaps it was the hearty meals that Jackson afforded the two of you, but your curves had become unbelievably voluptuous. If he was being honest with himself, it wasn’t just you that had grown needy. It took everything in Joel not to rush you at any given time. The thought of sinking his teeth into your jean clad cheeks and tearing them off so he could see the beautiful being trapped underneath had him basically frothing at the mouth every second of the day.

“The razor is underneath the sink,” you called out from the hall, undoubtedly feeling the heat of his gaze against your deliciously sculpted backside.

Joel laughed, shaking himself out of it, “Alright, alright, I’m going darling,”

After he was shaved and dressed, Joel left the bedroom in search of you. The stairs creaked under his weight and he sighed, reminding himself to fix the third step before one of you fell through it. He smiled when he reached the bottom, spying you tucked into the reading nook of the piano room with a steaming mug in your hand and a book in your lap. As Joel approached you, the smile widened into something much brighter when he noticed his own coffee waiting for him on the window sill. Fuck, he loved you so much that sometimes that it hurt.

“Did you make me coffee?,” Joel questioned, feeling like a lovestruck teenager as he drifted over to the reading nook.

You smirked, “You say that every morning and what do I always say back?”

“No, it’s not for you, it’s for the other Joel Miller,” he replied, earning a cackle from you.

Joel moved your legs so that they were strewn across his lap, warming his free hand between your thighs as the other went to grab the coffee. He sipped at it, grateful that you remembered his distaste for sweeteners and milk.

“I only ever said that like twice!,” you giggled, playfully nudging him with your foot.

He caught the foot in his hand, tickling the underside of it until you giggled and kicked him away.

“Try like seven times,” Joel replied.

You shrugged, “I can’t help that I’m hilarious Joel, it’s my cross to bear unfortunately.”

Joel rolled his eyes so hard that they disappeared into the back of his head. Chuckling at his reaction, you pinched his side, making him hiss and bat you away.

“Quit being a shit disturber,” he laughed, untangling himself before you could strike again, “I’m going to go make you some breakfast before you get too squirrelly on me. Lord knows you need something to keep ya from getting into trouble.”

“Don’t act like you don’t love it,” you called after him, cackling at his hasty retreat.

And you were right. He did, so much.

Joel threw himself into breakfast making, thankful that you had woken him a bit earlier than usual so that he could both cum down your throat AND still have time to make a balanced meal. The food in the house was sparse, as most people in town preferred to eat in community, but the both of you had managed to build up a modest supply to keep from having to dine amongst the prying eyes. It made him feel a tad guilty that you had to keep your distance from the dining hall and everyone else because of HIS reputation, but it was comforting to know your family didn’t frequent that place either.

While Jake had been accepted as the town’s new hair stylist and managed to do well for himself in terms of socializing, Cooper was unsurprisingly not a fan of crowds and Allie turned into a maniac if there were more than ten people in the room. And your mom, well she was your mom. Aside from a few awkward visits, the majority of them being buffered by the presence of Jake’s family or Joel’s protective presence, she spent most of her time locked away in her home.

When breakfast was done, Joel plated it and called out for you, carrying it out into the sunroom to eat. It had become a part of the everyday routine to do this, wrapping yourselves up in blankets and huddling together as you chowed down on your food, watching as the early morning sun grew brighter and bigger from between the thick trees. Soon it would hang above Jackson, making the entire snow covered town glow in its light, but for now it was just for you and him. The light was confined by a mix of pines, oaks, and apple trees that shrouded the home from the community, the orange peeking through the foliage to tease him.

“Smells good,” you sang as you walked in, taking your spot at his side.

Smiling as he bundled the two of you in the thicker blankets that were designated for early morning means, he smiled when you grabbed a plate, thanking him with a peck on the lips. Joel made a soft noise and took his own food, digging in without another word. A silence fell over the room, nothing but the sound of forks scraping against porcelain to fill the void. In moments like these, he felt like the world had fallen away, leaving nothing but the two of you and the serenity of the snow covered backyard.

“Joel,” you said, breaking him from his dreamlike state.

Joel turned to you, his face open and free of any of the usual grumpiness. It was easier in moments like these for him to be like this, softer from a mix of love making and the bliss of domesticity. It made him feel like you were the only other person in the world, like there were no infected or raiders or wronged baby brothers, just him and his girl. He didn’t have to be anyone other than himself.

“I’ve got stuff to do with Jake today but I want to make us supper tonight. We can like… talk or whatever,” you rushed out, the nervousness evident in your shaky voice.

Joel chuckled, bewildered by your sudden shyness when moments ago you had shoving a finger in his ass. He watched as you faltered, flushing at his laughter.

“Are you asking me on a date honey?,” he prodded, making you squirm in your seat.

“Something like that, just… just say that you’ll come?,” you tried again, timid as you shrunk under his gaze.

He made a soft noise, quickly grabbing both of the mostly empty plates and placing them on the coffee table so that he could pull you into his lap. You allowed him to move you, opening the blankets so that you could share body heat under the thick mess of fabrics. Joel knocked his forehead against yours, sighing when you relaxed into him.

“Of course I’m gonna come baby, where the hell else would I go? S’not like I could hide for very long, Jackson ain’t that big,” Joel lovingly pointed out, rubbing circles on your back that made you melt.

“I guess you’re right, you’re stuck with me,” you dreamily answered him, burying your face into his neck to nibble and suck at the skin there.

Joel grunted at the feeling, eyes rolling into the back of his head as his cock stirred to life. He needed to stop you, to push you off so that he could get to his meeting on time, but he was too weak. The second that your hips started to move in small circles, your covered core mercilessly grinding down against his quickly hardening length, his self control had shattered.

“C’mon sweetheart, m’not gonna fuck ya out here in the cold. Let’s get you somewhere decent,” Joel mumbled against your hair, huffing at it as he wrapped your legs around him.

Ignoring the bundle of raw nerves at the base of his spine that screamed from the exertion, Joel lifted you with a grunt, letting the blankets drop to the floor. He stepped over them, taking long strides to escape the cold that prevented him from fucking you properly.

“Joel, the plates - oh shit!,” you cried out, having been cut off by Joel’s hand coming down hard against your ass.

“Fuck the bowls,” he growled, biting down on your shoulder so hard that you squealed in his ear.

Joel felt like there was a storm brewing beneath his belt, the need to please you burning deep within him as he carried you into the house. He kicked the door shut behind him, cutting off your half cocked complaints by licking a stripe up the side of your neck. You squirmed against him and he reared his hand back again, placing another firm slap to the other side. The sound of your cries were music to Joel’s ears, making him turn and drop you down onto the breakfast nook

“Please, please, please stay and fuck me. I-I can’t - You can’t l-leave me like this,” you hiccuped, already so gone on him.

He hushed you, wrapping your legs around his hips so that you could grind your needy pussy against the seam of his jeans. Joel smirked when you locked your ankles around his back, trapping him against you as you whined in his ear. Shivering at the feeling of your hot breath against his neck, he let out a mangled groan that would have been embarrassing if he wasn’t so desperate. He surged forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that had you both clawing at each other. It was mean and dirty, tongues battling it out for dominance and teeth clacking together from the force, but he loved it.

God, Joel was hopeless when it came to you. He couldn’t help it. Lately, the smallest look or whiff of your scent was enough to bring him to his knees. He was desperate to please you, to provide you with nothing but mind numbing pleasure that turned you into a boneless mess beneath him. He needed it like the air he breathed. Too riled up to drag it out any longer, Joel pulled you off the table and flipped you over, placing a steady hand in between your shoulders so that you arched back against him.

He took in the sight before him, biting his lip as he watched your hips wiggled a silent plea for him to fuck you. His hand came down again and he smirked as you keened, noting the growing wet spot that soaked through the thick material of your jeans.

“Aw look at that, she’s soakin’ through the denim baby. Think she needs a bit more huh?,” Joel teased.

The garbled moan that spilled from your lips made him chuckle but he relented, cooing at your high pitched whimpers as he pulled your pants and underwear down to your ankles in one go. His cock throbbed at the sight of your drenched folds, your puffy clit already red and throbbing between your legs. Slick dripped down your legs and Joel’s mouth watered, making a mental note to devour your needy cunt before he left for good measure. But that would have to wait, first he needed to feel your tight walls around him.

You cried out when Joel landed a flurry of spanks to both of your asscheeks, making him groan as he ripped his belt off, uncaring of how desperate he looked as he pushed his pants down to his knees. He pulled his reddened cock from the confines of his boxers, pumping it a few times as before he dragged it through your slick heat. Beads of sweat formed at his hairline, his heart thumping against his ribcage painfully hard as he watched rivulets of slick drip from your pussy, soaking his cock as he brushed the head of it over your clit again and again.

“F-Fuck me,” you pleaded, fingernails scrabbling against wooden table.

He tsked and spanked you again, making you shout his name and a litany of swears.

“Nuh uh, try that again for me babygirl. You ain’t getting nothing unless you use your manners,” Joel said, his southern drawl filled with unbridled lust.

“Please,” you begged him, “Please fill me up daddy, I want you to wreck me. Need it so bad.”

He groaned at that, notching his dick against your entrance and teasing it until you twitched against him. No matter how hard you tried, your walls couldn’t suck him in completely and he watched with sick fascination as a torrent of slick drenched his thighs.

“If you want me to slow down or stop, you tell me, okay babygirl?,” he questioned, hips dying to slam forward into the plush of your ass.

“P-Promise, I promise,” you stuttered, crying out when he popped the head inside.

Joel stilled there and held you in place, enjoying this too much to let you have it so easily. If he was going to blow off the little brother he was trying to mend fences with, he was going to make it worth his while. Which meant that he was going to have you screaming for him in a few minutes.

“And if you can’t talk honey? What are you going to do then?,” he asked, his grip tightening as you tried to squirm out of his hold.

Another slap got your attention.

“Gonna t-tap your leg three times sir,” you whined, sighing when he lovingly rubbed at the abused flesh.

Joel grinned, his gaze wicked as he lined himself up. The whine you let out when he pulled the head of his cock all the way out was almost a scream, one that only grew more garbled when he slammed himself all the way inside in one go. He groaned at the grip of your pussy around him, already so tight and wet that he was almost brain dead from it already. It was always so impressive to him how your walls snapped back into shape so quickly, with his cock having to bully its way inside each time he fucked you.

“Ready baby?,” Joel panted, pressing a soft kiss against your shoulder blade as he allowed you to adjust to his size.

You bobbed your head, “Please, need you to wreck me.”

He chuckled, shaking his head as pulled himself up from the table, “Oh sweet girl, you’re going to regret that.”

And he was off, pulling all the way out so that he could slam into you so hard that it knocked the breath out of you. Joel wrapped his fingers around the back of your neck, holding you down as he thrusted into you at a ruthless pace. With his hips clapping against the back of your thighs, your drenched pussy dripping onto the floor, and his balls slapping against your oversensitive clit, the sounds in the room were obscene.

Your walls were so soft, growing wetter by the second as he pushed you towards the brink. Joel picked up his pace, spanking you again and again just to hear you scream. He felt like an animal, desperate to fuck you until the only think you knew how to say was his name. Already you were mumbling incoherent praises, shaking as he adjusted your hips and slammed into that one spot until he felt you release.

“That’s one,” Joel grunted, shoving his thick fingers into your mouth to silence your mewls, “How many do you think we can give her? Slutty little pussy is so needy lately, might have to keep her plugged up so that she doesn’t get too desperate while I’m gone.”

The response you gave him was incoherent, marred by a series of choking noises and needy whines, but he took it as a yes. With the way your cunt was clenching down on him already, milking his cock as his brutal pace pushed you further towards the edge again, he didn’t need words. What Joel needed was you, cumming around him again and again until you were sated, fucked into a docile state until he could come home to do it all over again.

It was that thought that made him pull his fingers out of your mouth, leaving a wet trail against your cheek before he reached down to press the pad of his index finger against your asshole. Rubbing at the rim of it reverently, pressing at the taut skin but not quite going inside, he chuckled as your entire body shuddered in delight. Your pussy tightened up and Joel hissed, surprised at how easily it had been to push you into another wave of ecstasy that had you clenching down on him.

“Such a fucking slut for me, cumming - fuck! - cumming from me playing with your ass. God baby, so dirty for me, just for me, shiiiit,” he gritted out, trying to focus on the task at hand as you rode out the waves of your orgasm.

“Y-Yours, yours, yours,” you chanted, turning your head so that you could rest your cheek against the cold wood.

Joel’s cock lurched at the sight of your face, flushed and sweaty, with a dazed look in your eye as he hammered into you. Hot breath puffed from your bitten lips, your moans echoing throughout the halls of the house in a way that made his balls tighten. The sound of your voice was intoxicating, forcing him to snap out of his reverie before he ruined it. He pressed an index finger into your ass. A shudder racked your body and you screamed his name, making him groan in response.

“Naughty girl, playing with daddy’s ass like that. Now look at you, begging for all of your holes to be filled with him. Tell me what you need babygirl, my girl. Fuck, love you so much. Need to make you cum on this cock, fucking stretch you around me until I’m all you can think about,” Joel babbled, hissing as he felt his knot begin to swell.

“M-More, need more please,” you sobbed, shaking in his grasp as he continued his assault.

Joel doubled his efforts, prodding at the rim of your tight hole with his index finger a moment, testing the waters before he let it slide in to join the other. A strangled noise left you, his sudden addition making you descend into outright madness that had you thrashing in his hold. He cussed and gripped your hair painfully tight, forcing your back into an arch that deepened each of his thrusts until he was beating your cervix into submission. You sobbed, eyes rolling into the back of your head and mouth opening in a silent scream as he forced another orgasm from your core.

“Jooooooel,” you cried out, damp eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks as he continued to fuck you through it.

Each thrust pushed you a little further up the table, your body having gone limp with the pleasure he was tearing from you. And still, Joel continued his assault, thrusting his fingers into your hole in time with the sharp thrusts of his cock in your swollen cunt. The way it twitched around him, expertly massaging his cock for all its worth, was all too much. He was so close to cumming but he couldn’t, at least not yet, not until he felt that you were thoroughly ruined by him.

As if you could sense his desire to draw this out, to wreck you just like he had promised, you bucked in his hold. The movement made you both moan, his swollen knot bumping against the outside of your overstuffed holes with more insistence. Hissing at the feeling of you fighting his hold, Joel let go of the back of your neck, pulling you up by the scruff of it so that your head thumped back against his shoulder. He pressed sloppy kisses onto your cheek, continuing to fuck both of your holes as his free hand slithered up to wrap around your throat.

“Don’t be a fucking brat,” Joel spat, pressing his fingers into the sides of your neck, “Take it like I know ya can darling, c’mon be a good girl for daddy.”

“J-J-J,” you sputtered, unable to spit out his name with the way his hand was cutting off your oxygen supply.

Joel groaned at how your walls tightened up, readying themselves for another earth shattering release as he drilled into you. He grunted into your ear, hips stuttering for a second before he corrected himself. Your mouth opened and closed desperately, forming silent words that reminded him to loosen up on his chokehold. When Joel let go, you gasped for breath, sucking in one giant lungful of air before you tensed up and started to scream.

“Ohmyfuckinggod, Joel! Please keep doing that daddy, so full of you. Want to be f-filled with you - oh shit - always. Feels s’good to be yours, for you to be mine, fucking love you and your big fucking cock. R-Ruined me, you know that? Fucking shit baby, I’m ruined,” you rambled.

He shuddered at your filthy words, all of the muscles in his lower abdomen clenching up so tightly that he was sure he was going to explode. All Joel needed was to feel you release around him, just one more time, and then he swore that he would leave your poor pussy alone for a while. One more earth shattering orgasm from you was what he needed and he was about ready to do anything to get it.

“Shit honey, I ruined you? Fucking good, this pussy is all for me. Nobody else gets to fuck you like this, hm? S’only me that gets to fuck you like a little slut, breaking you on my cock and making you cry for me. Love it, love you so much, my sweet girl, mine, mine,” Joel moaned.

He regained his hold on your throat, firmly pressing down until he felt your body lock up around him. A hand reached back to yank at Joel’s curls, making him whine as he closed his eyes and concentrated on nothing but getting you there. You tensed around him one last time, squeezing him painfully tight and he sucked in a steadying breath. The walls of your pussy started to contract around his cock and Joel groaned, giving you three more animalistic thrusts before he finally buried himself so deep that you whimpered at the feeling of it.

With his cock exploding inside of you, drowning your womb in a thick layer of his cum, he was a disaster. Going completely blind as he shouted your name, Joel couldn’t help it when he let go of your throat to grip one of your breasts painfully tight, needing something more substantial to hang onto to keep himself from falling off of the side of the planet. You gasped for air, letting out the most carnal noises that pulled him into another round of pleasure.

“Oh fuck yes baby, take it, take it, take it,” Joel chanted, having a hard time stopping himself from grinding into your puffy folds even though he was already locked inside.

When it was finally done, when the jolts of pleasure finally stopped spurting from the tip of his dick, Joel allowed you to slump against the cold wood. He blanketed himself over your sweaty back, panting as he came down from the mind numbing orgasm your walls had milked out of him. Carefully as he could, Joel eased his fingers from your tight asshole, cooing when you whimpered at the feeling.

“Did so good for me, pretty girl. Love you so much baby. How’d you feel honey? Are ya alright?,” Joel murmured, his soft lips brushing against your tear stained cheek as he spoke.

“I’m dead, you’ve killed me with your big ass dick. Killed by the cock is going to be carved into my headstone,” you grumbled.

Joel chuckled, shaking his head at your ridiculousness. If anyone was going to be killed, it was going to be him. He could feel it in the tightness in his lower back and hips, even his knees already aching dully from the exertion. Not that the discomfort mattered to him, Joel would break his own arm if it meant that he could spend a bit more time locked inside of you.

Unfortunately for Joel, fucking all day simply wasn’t in the cars today. He had a meeting that he was ridiculously late to, which meant that he needed to focus on staying calm so that he could slide out. He also needed to figure out how to move you but it seemed impossible, especially since you had gone boneless against the table.

“Honey, we gotta get up,” he urged you, fighting against gravity as he tried to get your limp body to work with him.

“Should’ve thought about that before you fucked the shit out of me baby. These legs aren’t gonna be working for a while and in case you haven’t noticed, you’ve got a knot locked inside of me that’s not even close to going down,” you chided, clenching around him for good measure.

Joel hissed at that, pinching your side and making you giggle. You were right, the two of you were stuck together against the table, but it didn’t feel right. Leaving you panting underneath him against the table seemed cheap, like the sex had just been a means to an end, not the passion fueled act that he had meant it to be. Joel needed to treat you with care, to bathe you in kisses and affection as you came down from your high. This simply wouldn’t do.

He maneuvered your shaking limbs as gently as he could, mindful of the way his cock was still locked inside. Wrapping one arm around your midsection to keep you steady, Joel scooped up your legs with the other so that he could carry you away from the puddle of slick and cum on the linoleum.

Joel awkwardly stumbled down the hall, his open belt jingling with each step. His pants were still pushed down around his knees, forcing him to take small steps so that he wouldn’t fall over. However, his efforts proved pointless when his foot happened upon a toy Allie must have left, making him fall backwards onto his ass.

“Oh fuck me,” Joel groaned as his tailbone smacked against the hardwood.

You whined at the feeling of his cock jolting inside of you, squirming against him in a way that was so overstimulating that he had no choice but to roll you both onto your sides. Joel pressed his weight into you, hushing your whines as he curled himself around your shivering form. With both of your pants around your ankles, hips still locked into place by Joel’s knot, and your rumpled shirts still on, he couldn’t believe how ridiculous the two of you looked.

“More Joel. Please baby, need you closer,” you sniffed, voice filled with a different kind of desperation, one that urged him to care for you.

Joel kissed the side of your head, hugging you tightly to quell the whimpers and shakes that racked your body. Every inch of him pressed into you, his hands rubbing at the free skin and his mouth working wonders on your neck as you slowly came back to yourself.

“I’ve got ya darling, m’gonna take care of ya,” he promised.

When he finally felt you come back to him, the tremors slowly coming to a stop along with the whimpers, Joel sighed. He pulled himself up on his elbow, tilting your head up so that your doe eyed gaze was turned towards him. You smiled dopily up at him, looking utterly blissed out from his brutal fucking.

“Can we do that again?,” you yawned, leaning up to kiss at his jaw in a way that made his heart burn.

Joel chuckled, “Someday, yeah, but for now you gotta give me some time honey. Not exactly a young buck anymore.”

Sighing loudly, you rolled your eyes playfully but nodded. He smiled as you snuggled back into him, reaching back to shove back down to the floor so that he could spoon you properly against the cold hardwood. Fingers crept into his hair, releasing all of the remaining tension from his body with just a few swirls to his scalp. With the two of you trapped together, watching as the sun shone through the foyer from down the hall, Joel was at peace. He forgot about the ridiculousness of the situation, the only thing that mattered was being in this moment with you.

“I love you,” you mumbled, kissing the hand of his that was gripping your left breast.

He answered the act with a kiss on the neck and softly mumbled, “I love you too.”

The love Joel felt in that moment was similar to other types he had felt over the years, yet so distinct to you. He had seen glimpses of love at other times, the devotion he felt to family being similar in a certain sense, but this was different. For others, he would kill or be killed. For you, he would kill anything that stood in the way of him surviving. It was a different type of commitment, one that meant he had to let certain tendencies and coping mechanisms drift away. Never again could Joel be so careless with his life, not when he had someone who waited for him. Someone who, unlike others in similar situations, would take matters into their own hands if he didn’t return.

As the two of you lazed about, in an almost meditative state as you waited for Joel’s knot to go down, he dreamed of what your future could look like in Jackson. He hated to admit it, especially with how unwilling the town was to accept him, but this place held opportunity for the both of you. Jackson meant protection from the outside, along with a promise that you would be cared for should he ever keel over one day. That was a hard ticket to pass up, especially when it was sweetened by how happy you seemed to have people around.

Just as Joel was about to break the silence, meaning to ask you about what you thought about the matter, he heard the latch on the front door click open. He swore and you gasped, scrambling to find anything that might cover you from the unwanted guest but there was nothing. When the sunlight poured into the hall, bathing the both of you in an inescapable spotlight, he froze in terror as a figure walked in. With how bright it was, Joel couldn’t see them, but they could definitely see the two of you stuck together and pantless against the floor. Whoever it was, he just prayed that it wasn’t your mother.

“Christ almighty, we gave you a house with a bedroom for a fucking reason. Can y’all cool it? For fuck’s sake, burning my eyeballs every goddamn time I come around,” Tommy groaned, covering his eyes as he spun on his heel to face the door.

Joel wanted to die, he wanted to melt into the floorboards until his liquified corpse dripped into the cellar. Meanwhile, you seemed amused by Tommy’s unfortunate timing, completely unbothered as you relaxed back into him.

“Should’ve knocked,” you giggled.

The beta scoffed, his muscles tensed with annoyance at your jab. Joel bit his lip, trying to hold back the laughter that bubbled up from his chest. There he was, a fully grown 56 year old man, caught with his pants around his ankles by his little brother. Meanwhile, his mate lounged against him like nothing had gone wrong, too blissed out to care about unwanted gazes.

“Well, pardon me ma’am,” Tommy sassed back, “Here I was thinking that me and my brother had a meeting planned for the last few days but I guess I forgot banging his mate comes first. My sincerest apologies.”

“You’re forgiven. Now go, I’ll send him out in a few minutes,” you shot back, making Joel cackle.

Tommy grumbled as he ripped open the door, stomping out into the morning sun to wait for his brother in the cold. The bang of the door resounded throughout the first floor, signaling the younger man’s frustration as he departed from the home. Joel sighed as he wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, knowing that he would have to apologize to Tommy when he left.

“Couldn’t have kept it in your pants, huh? Needed me to fuck you and now look, we traumatized the poor guy all over again,” Joel teased, tickling your side until you giggled and batted him away.

You shrugged, “I wasn’t the one that needed to make me cum until I couldn’t think, that was you mister. And who cares what Tommy thinks? Like I said, he should knock if he doesn’t want a free show.”

Joel laughed at that and you joined in, bodies jostling together in the warm embrace of the sun filtering through the foyer. Regardless of the intrusion, he still felt nothing but peace as he laid with you. And you clearly felt the same, drifting off into a sleep so deep that you didn’t even blink when he finally pulled out of you. After watching the cum drip out of you for a second, mesmerized by the slow trickle, Joel picked you up and carried you all the way upstairs again.

He laid you down against the sheets, ridding you of the rumpled clothes and retrieving a wet cloth from the bathroom to carefully clean between your legs before he tucked you in. Pressing a gentle kiss to your nose, Joel whispered his goodbyes and hurried downstairs. He did a rudimentary clean of himself and the home, not wanting for there to be traces of your lovemaking in case a certain child or estranged mother showed up. When he was done, he rushed to pull his boots on, making it out the door just as his brother was marching angrily up the steps.

“Jesus, finally. I was about to come in there and drag your ass out. For fuck’s sake Joel, I have other shit to do. You know that right?,” Tommy argued, red in the face from his anger.

Joel pushed past him, rolling his eyes at the outburst. If he was that mad at him for missing a meet up by a few minutes, then he clearly needed to get his priorities straight. And it’s not like Tommy hadn’t been much worse than him, once upon a time.

“M’not even that late, ease up. And for the record, I don’t care if you come over but you should knock. S’not polite to barge into a couple’s house like that, you know that well enough,” he answered, keeping his tone light.

Tommy guffawed, “Not even that late? I waited for you for an hour and where were you? Fucking your girlfriend instead of keeping your word.”

Joel stopped and turned on his heel, facing his brother with a menacing look that urged him to erase you from all further complaints. Tommy could call him whatever he wanted, he could talk about all of the filthy and unforgivable things Joel had done in his life, but he couldn’t talk about you, especially not in that way. The air shifted as the younger man sensed he had crossed a line, with him raising his hands in surrender.

“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my mate. Don’t talk about her like that. Be short with me all you want, but keep her out of it please,” he warned him, only losing the heat in his gaze when his brother agreed.

“Fine, m’sorry. Didn’t mean anything by it Joel, let’s just get on with it so that you can get back,” the younger man sighed, deflating a bit from the scorn.

Joel sighed and gritted his teeth, kicking himself for sucking the life out of his brother again. In all honesty, he had no idea how to talk to Tommy anymore and they were off to a rocky start so far. They had lived such separate lives for so long and now, although they had the common connection of both being settled into lives with women they loved, he still didn’t have a clue who his brother was. And realistically, Tommy didn't know anything about him anymore either. So instead of allowing the silence to continue, he thought of the one thing that could get the younger man to fill it, something that he had never asked him about for a specific reason.

“So,” Joel started, clearing his throat before he continued, “How’s that boy of yours coming along?”

Tommy whipped his head around, grinning like a maniac at the question before he launched into a story about how proud he was of Frankie for switching from a crib to a big boy bed. The four year old reportedly had no issue with the change despite his mother’s worries. Joel listened carefully, feeling a wave of nostalgia as he listened to his brother talk about his son with unbridled joy. Except this time, even though he still couldn’t help but compare Tommy’s fatherly experiences to his own, the stories didn’t hurt him as much as they once did. He chalked up to you softening him up, allowing him a space to grieve in a way he had never been able to before.

It was still there, that deep pain that came from losing both of his children, but it was much more manageable. Instead of letting Joel drown in it, you had reminded him that he could swim. Although the waves of grief still came by to slam him underwater, making him sputter and choke as he tried to suck in air while stuck beneath the current, he could now kick his way to the surface with your help. As Joel listened to his brother’s stories, giving him slightly more enthusiastic grunts of approval than usual while they walked down the empty streets, he felt like he could actually handle it for once.

Tommy stopped off at the barn, still talking as he led Joel to the back where the stallion the two of you had brought in was munching on some hay. He stuck his hand in, cooing softly at the beautiful chestnut beast as it whinied and butted against his palm.

“Anyways, Maria thinks that he’s going to be able to go without pullups soon. He’s growing up so damn fast, it seems like just yesterday that he was born,” Tommy sighed wistfully.

Joel nodded, “So it does.”

A silence followed, the both of them in their own heads about what that meant. For Tommy, he knew that the beta was probably berating himself for reminding his unfortunate elder brother of the passage of time. Maria was pregnant when he was here with Ellie, and by the time he came back, she was gone. Not to mention the fact that Sarah had been dead for much longer than her, so long that he had started to forget little things like her shoe size or what her favorite song was. But Joel wasn’t worrying about the passage of time. He was thinking about what another four years would bring him, feeling hopeful for the first time in what seemed like forever.

“I’m sorry that I’m running my mouth about -”

“I wanted to ask you if we could -”

They both stopped, chuckling as their sentences mashed together into an incomprehensible mess of syllables. Tommy shook his head, waving his hands to signal for Joel to continue.

“I wanted to ask you about uh, well…,” Joel sighed and tried again, “Look, she seems really happy here with her family around. And I… I know me and you are complicated but I want to try to be… brothers? I guess? I don’t know and I don’t wanna put you out or nothing but um…”

He trailed off, unsure of how to ask for what he wanted. Or rather, what Joel was pretty sure you wanted. Although he hadn’t asked about it yet, he could tell that you were growing comfortable in Jackson. And to a certain extent, so was he. While the townspeople still hated him, they liked you. Not to mention how the walls built around the place kept you secure from all of the threats of the outside world. Even at the cabin, back when he thought it was safe from being found, he still had to worry about a few stray infected finding their way or a bear wandering into your vicinity.

“Well I’ll be damned, are you thinking of sticking around?,” Tommy chirped, a toothy grin plastered over his face.

Joel sighed, rolling his eyes at his brother’s burst of enthusiasm, but nodded nonetheless. The other man whooped in response, slapping him on the back so hard that he grunted at the contact.

“Shit, never thought I’d hear ya say those words. It’s a good thing you finally got your head out of your ass, was looking to get you some quick jobs but if you’re planning on staying we can get you on the patrols,” his brother said, ripping a binder off the wall so that he could check it out.

Turning from the stall, Joel watched as his brother tore through the book in search of available shifts for him. He thought of you and sighed, knowing that you would want to be considered for such a thing. While he was still less than impressed at how competent you were with raiders and infected, Joel respected that you were more than capable of taking care of yourself without him. Even though he would rather keep you at home, wrapped in bubble wrap until he returned, he knew that you would be angry with him if he didn’t at least mention your abilities.

“She’s gonna want to be considered for those too,” Joel piped up, “Can’t say I’m a fan of it, but she can hold her own better than most. Plus, she’d kill me if I didn’t say something about it, my girl likes to pull her own weight.”

Tommy stopped, looking up at him with an unreadable expression. The corner of his thick mustache twitched as he chewed on his lip and Joel couldn't help but notice how silver snuck into the dark hair above his mouth. His brother was getting old, just like him, and it made him want to smile. They were both in their 50s, they had somehow made it this far, despite how it had seemed impossible many times in their lives. Although Joel stayed rooted to his spot at the realization, under the surface he was fighting the strange urge to hug Tommy. That was, until the younger man started talking.

“Alright, we can get you started tomorrow. Me and you will check out the abandoned town that way. It’s usually quiet but we’ve seen a few infected fucking around by the pharmacy. We’ll go and kill any stragglers, if there’s any, probably be home before supper,” Tommy said.

Joel blinked, “Okay yeah, sounds good, Um, did you hear what I said?”

His brother nodded slowly, his jaw tense as he hung the binder back up on the wall. Turning towards him, Tommy looked like he wanted to be anywhere else as he faced him. Joel cocked his head, confused at the sudden nervousness from the younger man. It's not like he asked for you to be crowned Queen of the town, all he asked was for you to be considered for a job he knew you would want, one that he knew you were more than capable of doing.

“She can’t go. It’s… The trails are too dangerous this time of year, white outs can happen so fast and hordes come through here with the storms. Can’t be having her out there in all that mess. Let’s just try again in er… a few months,” the younger man mumbled.

He balked, surprised at Tommy’s words. Joel knew that it was dangerous out there, he had been experiencing first hand for way too long, but so did you. If Tommy thought that you were incapable of going, while he was perfectly able, it had to be because of something else. Anger seeped into his heart, clenching it painfully tight as the walls that he had let down earlier went all the way up again, ready to defend you.

“She can hold her own, I’ve seen it. Just because she’s an omega, or a woman, or whatever it is you’re belly aching about, doesn’t mean that she’s any less capable of fucking patrolling some itty bitty ski town. You are way out of line,” Joel snapped.

Tommy breathed in deeply, looking up for a second like he was asking some unknown force for assistance while Joel boiled with outrage in front of him. He couldn’t believe this shit. Growing up, he had been taught to treat everyone with respect. No matter how much smaller his mother was than his father, she was always the first one to get her hands dirty working on the ranch. Joel had watched her wrangle the sheep and plow the fields with the best of them. And so had his brother, which was why he was so confused by his sudden hesitation at letting you do the tough gig.

“It’s not that Joel, it’s…,” Tommy sighed, “Look, the answer is no. If she wants to help out while she’s uh… Fuck’s sake. We could use some help at the clinic. Jake was helping the doctor there but now that he’s moved on, it’d be good to get someone in.”

“Oh a nurse? How stereotypical of you Tommy,” Joel shot back, the venom in his tone evident.

Tommy snapped his gaze over to his brother, clenching his fists at his side as the tension grew. Good, Joel thought, serves him right for being such an ass.

“Listen, you want to fight it? Take it up with Maria, but she’ll have the same answer for you. Patrols have been getting dangerous, bodies keep showing up and most of them aren’t bit. What we need is someone who is physically capable, not someone who we have to worry about getting hurt,” Tommy explained.

Joel scoffed, “And she’s not ‘physically capable’?”

“Not right now, no,” Tommy sighed, rubbing his eyes as if he was exhausted by the conversation.

“Why the hell would you say that?,” he asked, confused as to why his brother would ever say that.

The younger man looked away and gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. When Tommy looked back, he looked sheepish, giving him an awkward shrug before he turned and sped away. Joel watched him go, utterly flabbergasted at his little brother’s unbecoming behavior. Why on earth would he think that you weren’t capable enough to go on some stupid patrol?

“I’ll come get you at dawn, just try not to be naked this time,” Tommy called over his shoulder, not even sparing him a second glance as he stomped out of the stable.

Joel blinked, unsure of what to do with himself after that strange argument. He reached out and patted the horse again, remembering how you had offhandedly called it Rusty once. It was the first thing you had said to him all day, as you were still giving him the silent treatment at that point.

“He looks like a Rusty, don’t you think Joel? Look at his coat, that HAS to be his name,” he remembered you saying, patting the side of the stallion with a weak grin on your face.

Rusty looked at him, still chewing on the hay and kicking his feet against the ground to show his displeasure of the tight quarters. Joel would take him tomorrow he decided, feeling bad about leaving the big guy in the stables by himself. He was a jumpy horse, having already bucked off two other Jackson residents. Clearly, the stallion was only comfortable with two people in particular riding him. With you being chained to Jackson by his sister in law, he supposed it was up to him to keep Rusty from going wild. He shook his head at the thought, giving the horse one last pat before he started for home.

Of course Joel knew what some people thought of omegas, but he was shocked that his brother of all people would be one of them. He didn’t want you to feel trapped by this place, forced into living a comfortable life with no hope of ever proving yourself in the way you wanted to. He wanted Jackson to be a home for you, one that didn’t force you into a box like your previous ones had. How was he supposed to explain Tommy’s decision to you?

Joel trudged through the streets, ignoring the looks he got from the early morning risers that flooded the main strip. He was too in his head to scowl at them as he usually did, a dull ache gathering behind his eyelids by the time he finally turned away from the rest of Jackson and stepped onto his street. It was only when he was at the foot of the driveway, sighing at the fresh snow that covered the path he had shoveled out for you, that he spied the town doctor hurrying out from the cover of the thick trees.

“Doc?,” Joel called out, panic trickling into his stomach so quickly that it threatened to force his breakfast from his esophagus.

The doctor looked over and smiled, waving at him as she passed him.

“Everything looks good! Nausea should go away soon. Can’t stay and chat though, Mrs. D went into labor, so I gotta get going. I’ll see you soon!,” she called, hurrying off towards her next patient.

Joel turned towards the house, jogging up the rest of the way with a renewed sense of purpose. She said that everything was good now but when had it not been? He thought about this morning, about how rough he had been with you and nearly keeled over with guilt. What if he had hurt you? What if you had just been too sleepy to realize it when he left? The thought of you waking up alone and hurt, having to crawl over to one of your family’s houses for help, made him want to throw up.

When Joel slammed through the foyer, not even pausing to take off the mud soaked boots, he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But instead of his worst fears coming to life, instead of seeing you broken or sick on the couch as your family surrounded you, he was greeted by raucous laughter. He skidded to a stop, breathing heavily as he took in the room.

Jake was at your side on the couch, a mug in his hand and a smile on his face as the two of you laughed about something. Everything seemed normal. There was no blood coming from your ears or broken bones on display. The only thing out of place was Joel, panting like an absolute maniac as his eyes darted around the room for any sign of danger.

“Baby, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” you called out to him, frowning at his overwhelmingly panicked presence in the room.

“What’s wrong with me? I just saw a doctor walk out of here, what’s wrong with you?,” Joel questioned, the urgency in his tone evident.

All of the oxygen was sucked out of the room and Joel stepped forward, trying to suss out the situation that was unraveling before him. Jake looked at you and you at him, neither one of you saying a thing but conversing nonetheless. He hated when you two did this, having a full conversation with your eyes as everyone else around was left to wonder what the hell was going on. It was painfully obvious that a secret was being kept and Joel was about to cut in, to point out how juvenile you were being, but he was cut off by the front door slamming open.

A tiny body slammed into Joel’s legs, forcing him to look down with furrowed brows at the little gremlin that screeched in excitement. Allie slapped at his thighs, giving him a toothy grin before she raced off into her father’s arms. He shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck as he wondered how your friends kept up with the wildly energetic pup, thanking the stars that Sarah had been a relatively peaceful toddler. It was insane how fast Allie jumped from space to space. One moment she was slamming herself in Jake’s arms, the next she was catapulting herself off the couch and sprinting past Joel at stop speed.

“Allie, get back here!,” Cooper bellowed, red faced and panting as he jogged into the house.

“Did you turn your back on her again? I told you, she’s just going to run away if she’s bored,” Jake sighed, lifting himself up off the couch with a groan.

A smash came from the kitchen, along with a string of high pitched cackles from Allie as she ransacked the place. Jake swore and sprinted past Joel, muttering to himself as he hurried to see what mess she had made. Cooper followed closely behind with a litany of apologies spilling from his lips as he tried to reverse his husband’s change in mood.

“C’mon J, I only stopped to talk to that Jessie kid because he wants to help out with the radishes! I looked away for like two seconds and she was already halfway across town,” Cooper pleaded, disappearing behind his mate just as another crash echoed down the hall.

Joel didn’t want to know what the little girl had broken, uncaring of whatever glass or plate she had shattered while on her rampage. None of the things in this house had been picked by him, except of course the woman he shared it with. The woman who was suddenly being extremely cagey. And there you were, bundled up on the couch with a hesitant smile on your face when he turned back around.

“I’m sure it’s nothing important, probably just the plates from breakfast. I hadn’t gotten around to washing them,” you stammered, more color rushing to your face from his undivided attention.

He said nothing and strolled into the room, lifting your legs from their place on the couch so that they could rest on his lap. Joel snuck his hands under the blanket and grabbed one of your sock covered feet, kneading at it as he waited for a more concise response. You hummed at the feeling, flopping back against the side of the old sofa so that he could dig into the knots. A knowing grin spread out on his face, it was always so much easier to get answers from you when you were relaxed. Seeing as your family was present, meaning he couldn’t fuck the answers out of you, this would have to do.

“Why was the doctor here today?,” Joel tried again, with his voice so gentle that it almost sounded like a prayer.

Blinking at Joel with heavy eyes, already so much more relaxed than before, you sighed at him. He watched as you squeezed your eyes shut, the muscles in your face tensing up as you warred with yourself. It was excruciatingly hard for him to watch you go through this, to not understand why you were keeping something from him for so long, but he had bore it. If not for his sake, but for yours. However, from the second that doctors got involved, Joel was done playing games.

“She was here for me actually,” came from the doorway, making him turn away from your scrunched up face.

Jake stepped into the room, his eyes darting between the two of you as he straightened his posture. Allie was bouncing on his hip, silenced by the pacifier in her mouth and the damp wash towel she seemed to be enamored with. Neither of you had any reason to lie to him, he knew that, but he couldn’t help but feel like something was off.

“Why the hell would she come here for you? You don’t live here,” Joel questioned, narrowing his eyes at the younger man.

A hand slapped his arm and he hissed, rubbing at the abused flesh as he shot you a look. It wasn’t that Joel wanted to grill your best friend for personal details about his health. In fact, he’d rather that Jake never said a word about stuff like that to him. Nevertheless, the way Joel’s stomach churned and twisted, splashing the back of his throat with acid as the tension in the air refused to go away, was too much to ignore.

“I-I uh…,” Jake stumbled, swallowing before he tried again, “Well, if you must know, I asked the doctor to meet me here so that Cooper wouldn’t see her. I’m pregnant, but I wanted to be absolutely sure before I told him.”

“You’re WHAT?!,” a voice shouted from down the hall, followed by a series of curses as the owner of it stumbled towards the living room.

You sighed and Joel watched as you mouthed an apology to your friend, after which you sent him a glare that felt like pin pricks to his skin. Drowning in guilt, he prayed that some sort of tragic scene was not about to play out before him. The last thing Joel needed to add to his long list of misdeeds was breaking up a perfectly fine relationship with a poorly timed pregnancy bomb.

“Are - Are you sure? What the fuck? Why wouldn’t you tell me? Oh my god, shit! We’re going to have to clear out one of the rooms. Jesus Christ, there’s so much fucking old shit in that house. What are we going to do with it all?,” Cooper rambled, pulling at his hair as he planned.

Jake chuckled and stepped forward, pressing his palm into the other man’s chest to calm him with one hand, the other hand being used to soothe the displeased toddler that had just heard her father cuss. Joel watched in awe as the omega drained his mate of all of that panic so easily, sucking it out of him with just a simple touch. It made him think of you, of how many times he had found himself in a similar state and had you pull him out of it.

“Breathe Coop, it’s going to be fine. We have like seven months to figure all of that out. That’s plenty of time to get a room together,” Jake chided.

Cooper dropped his hands from his hair, looking at his mate with an expression that could only be labeled as pure devotion. Joel wasn’t sure what to do with himself, it seemed too private of a moment for him to watch but he couldn’t look away. Not even when the entire room jumped as the usually quiet man let out a booming shout, practically shaking the windows with his outburst.

“WOO! I’M GOING TO BE A DAD!,” he cheered, crushing his family in a tight hug.

Jake stumbled back, laughing as he rolled his eyes at his husband. The little girl made an indignant noise but allowed the affection, seemingly willing to go along with it for the sake of her dads.

“You’re already a father,” Jake reminded him.

“I know, but I get to be one again,” Cooper choked out, tears forming in his eyes as he pulled away.

Noting the tears on his husband’s face, along with the ones that were quickly mirrored by their overly dramatic daughter, Jake took that as his time to go. The family said their hasty goodbyes, with the poor omega having to drag not one, but two of his crying family members out of the house. Joel shook his head as they left, his mind still spinning from the ups and downs the morning had brought him. He closed the door behind them, stopping to toe off his boots this time before he collapsed onto the couch again.

“Christ, I don’t know how they’re going to do that. If they get another one like her, they’ll never sleep again,” Joel chuckled, trying to imagine what it would be like to chase after a kid like that at his age.

You just smiled back at him, opening your arms for him to fall into. Joel went willingly, allowing you to shove his face in between your breasts and use him as a human blanket as you laid back against the cushions. He felt your nails scrape against his scalp, drawing a moan out of him and making him snuggle even deeper into your embrace.

“Things will work out for them, they always do,” you sighed, dropping a kiss on to the top of his head.

He hummed in agreement, unwilling to argue with you on the philosophies of life after an apocalypse while he was so comfortable.

“Like we always do too,” you added on, whispering it for him in the silence of the warm room.

A weird comparison for you to make, Joel thought, but he could see it. He supposed that they had been kept apart, to a certain extent, while Jake was imprisoned. Although, in their case, nobody had ever sought vengeance or compensation because they believed they had been robbed of a match.

“We sure do,” Joel mumbled, letting it go so that he could drift into an almost meditative state.

He was too keyed up to sleep, the strange nature of the day along with his new nutritionally sufficient diet giving him just enough energy to keep himself from following you into rest. There were too many things to do. Joel needed to fix the step, he needed to take a look in the attic for any signs of leaks, he needed to tear through the shed for anything of use so that he could finally reinforce the balcony off of the master bedroom, and so much more. As you dreamed beneath him, completely unaware of his fretting, he went through the list he had made until he was sure that he was going insane.

Joel sighed at the realization that he had to get up, lest he doom himself from ever achieving those tasks before he started on patrols with Tommy. As he hovered above you, gazing upon your lax face lovingly and brushing the hair from your eyes, he knew that there was nobody else he would rather fix up a house for. Filled with a sudden urge to kiss you, Joel had to force himself to calm down, deciding instead to lean forward and grab one last hit of your delicious scent. Snuffling against the delicate skin along your neck, he ignored the way his cock throbbed in his jeans.

You smelled as you always did, with both of his scent and yours sealed together forever, but his was almost silencing yours. Joel groaned at the realization, trying to control himself as the more primal part of himself came out to play. Of course you always smelled like him, even taking it a step further by covering yourself with his clothes most of the time, but this was different. This was like a flag was being waved to the world that you were off limits, that he had done his duty and provided for you in a way that nobody else could.

Wait.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Joel mumbled, pulling away even further so that he could get a good look at you.

With your skin glowing in the sunlight, it was hard for him to see any changes but they were there. The ampleness of your bosom had grown, leaving your breasts to strain against the bra that would have fit you perfectly just a few weeks ago. The extra cushioning on your hips and ass that had driven him absolutely feral with lust now glared at him, making him swallow hard as his world came crashing down around him.

Suddenly Joel was reminded of a dream he had when he first entered Jackson, one where his deceased children confronted him while bleeding out and cooing at a newborn. At the time he had racked his brain for answers, but now he knew. With his heart pounding against his ribs, Ellie’s words echoed in his ears.

Reality is going to kick you in the fucking ass dude.

And boy, did it ever.

In an instant, Joel was peeling himself from your sleeping form, throwing on his unlaced boots before he sprinted out the door. He felt like he was losing it as he stumbled through the streets, his heart pounding and sweat dampening his shirt to the point that the back of it grew rigid from the cold. Delirious with fear, Joel walked the perimeter of Jackson over and over, trying desperately to convince himself that it wasn’t true. That he wasn’t going to be a father again at the ripe age of 56, and in the same world that had killed his other children no less.

Distant memories of Sarah’s first cries as she slid into the world echoed in his mind, followed by the sounds of her last breaths. He groaned as he slammed his fists into his head, bending over so that he could focus on not thinking about the way Ellie over-explained the plot of Savage to him or the way she looked at him as he tried to pass her off to his brother. Was that the type of father he was? The type to get his children killed, but not before hurting them in more heartbreaking ways. He didn’t want to be that guy but he didn’t know how to be anyone else.

Joel walked along the edges of town until his body had gone numb from the cold, until the sun hung low on the horizon and he knew that you would be waiting for him at home. His heart throbbed when he thought about your dinner plans, a dull ache settling in the base of his skull as he realized what it was you wanted to talk to him about. This was it, you were pregnant with his child and there was nothing he could do to take that back. He thought of the sheer weight of the grief that was involved in losing a child, swallowing bile as his mind conjured up cruel thoughts about what you would look like in his place.

“Fuck,” Joel cried out, changing course in an attempt to escape the fears that were snapping at his heels.

By the time Joel made it to the Tipsy Bison, it was nearly dark and he grimaced at the sight of the twilight. Surely by now, supper would be finished and you would be filling your time with pointless tasks to distract yourself from his absence. Standing you up was not something Joel had ever thought he would do but now, with his heart pumping battery acid through his veins and his thoughts threatening to bury him in shame, he needed a fucking drink.

Joel ignored the rowdy group of alphas by the door, while also steering clear of the omegas that glared at him from the pool table as he strolled up to the bar. He tried not to cringe at the looks he got from the other patrons when he ordered a whiskey. They knew his history, which meant they knew that he typically liked to drown himself in rye until he could barely walk, picking some fight to blow off some steam before he was finally dragged home by his brother. Joel worked hard to convince himself that that wouldn’t happen this time, as if he had the power to thwart the angry drunk he could become.

When the bartender placed the tumbler down in front of him, giving him a pointed look that begged him not to start anything tonight, Joel nodded. It’s not like he ever meant to start anything, it just happened, but he promised himself to try extra hard to be good tonight. Instead, he sat there, numb as he stared at the brown liquid that sloshed around in the glass. It smelled just like he remembered it, like smoke and caramel, and it made his mouth water. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to drink it.

“So, she finally told you, hm?,” a familiar voice called from his right, making him sigh and put the whisky down.

“She didn’t have to. How’d you figure it out?,” Joel asked gruffly.

Tommy snorted, “I have a working nose and the ability to see what is right in front of me.”

He glared at his brother, the vein in the side of his head popping out as he restrained himself from either swinging on him or grabbing the bottle behind the bar and chugging it down until he couldn’t see. Instead, Joel did neither, and continued to weigh his options as he ignored the younger man. However, Tommy wasn’t letting it slide and took a seat.

“You know, after everything that happened in Iraq, I was pretty sure that I was never going to be the type of guy that had kids. I had all of that blood on my hands and I just couldn’t… I didn’t want to get it all over someone so innocent,” Tommy sighed.

That got Joel’s attention. Not once had they ever talked about his brother’s time in the military. Although, he had some idea of how bad it was based on Tommy’s track record of drunken arrests throughout the majority of Sarah’s childhood. The most he had ever gotten was a plastered account of a friend’s death as his brother cried himself to sleep in the back of his truck, with Tommy supposedly being too drunk to remember it by the next morning.

“And then Sarah. I was too late and she got shot. I couldn’t do anything about it, I couldn’t help you no matter how much I wanted to. So I just kept on going, I kept fighting whether it was for us or for the fireflies. Nothing mattered except for surviving but then I met Maria.”

Tommy’s smile was warm, despite the pain that was evident in his eyes. The pain that he knew was somewhat due to him, to Joel’s part in the atrocities his brother took part in to survive, to Joel’s inability to recognize Tommy’s own personal struggles while he was so wrapped up in his own.

“She made me feel human again, like I could finally breathe after keeping all of it in for so long. It hurt like hell, but it was worth it. Joel, the pain was worth it. I had to feel it, all of it; the happiness, the pain, the anger, everything, but it was worth every second,” Tommy concluded.

Joel stared at him, “Why are you telling me this? Why now?”

His brother sighed, gazing at him in a way that made him feel like he was the younger one. Tommy reached forward and grabbed his glass, ignoring Joel’s protest as he knocked it back in one go. He watched as the beta placed the glass on the other side of the bar, motioning to the barkeep to put the drink on his tab.

“That’s a real nice seat you got there big brother, any particular reason you chose it?,” Tommy offhandedly asked as he stood from the chair.

Joel shrugged, “I don’t know, it was there.”

“Really? Because that’s the seat that you got plastered in for two days after Ellie died, right before you left,” his brother shot back.

Joel choked on a response, trying to find a memory that proved Tommy’s accusation to be false but he came up empty. He was right, this was the seat he sat in before he ruined his already shaky relationship with his brother, only to high tail it out of town immediately afterwards. At that time, Joel had been coming to the Bison to forget someone’s death. And now he was here, gearing himself up to forget about someone’s brand new life, all while the woman he loved was likely worried sick about him. Again, just like Ellie had warned him, reality kicked him in the fucking ass as he realized that it was him that was the problem.

Tommy stood up from his chair, slapping him on the back as he turned away.

“Go home to your mate Joel,” his brother called over his shoulder, disappearing back into the fresh wave of people that made their way over to the bar.

At any other point during his life after the outbreak, Joel would have rolled his eyes and ignored his brother, drinking his life away without another thought. But he couldn’t this time, not when he had you, not when you were growing something inside of you that shared his DNA. It had been childish for him to come to a bar when you were at home waiting, he could see that so clearly now that it stung. Shame burned a hole in his gut and Joel jumped up from the chair, exiting the building as quickly as he could.

Joel felt all of his bones crack as he raced towards home, ignoring all of the strange looks he got when he broke out into an all out sprint. The sun was fully set, making the lonely street that the house was on seem almost spooky when he skidded onto it. All he could hear was his heart slamming in his chest, knocking the wind out of him as he rushed up the driveway and climbed the steps two at a time. Bursting into the mudroom, he ripped off his boots and stomped into the entryway with a look of determination.

However, it was there in the entryway that Joel faltered, the delicious smell of a perfectly crafted meal wafting over to him and making his stomach growl. Suddenly, he felt like he was in a daze as he shuffled his way down the hall, letting your soft singing hook into his chest and pull him towards you. When Joel reached the doorway to the kitchen he stopped, taking in the sight of you scrubbing a pot that you had used to cook his meal, a meal that was sitting wrapped up for him on the counter.

Joel pushed himself off of the wood, stepping forward so that he could wrap his arms around you as you worked. He kissed at your neck and you hummed, smiling as you dropped the pot back into the water. Despite the touch of anxiousness he felt in that moment, he steeled himself and tried to focus on the good, on how you felt in his arms. This was what Joel loved, this was what brought him back down to earth and forced him to see what was right in front of him. It was you that he needed, not some cheap bottle of poorly made whisky that would make his stomach ache in the morning.

“Hmmm… You’re late Mister,” you chided, leaning back into him.

He chuckled, “My apologies ma’am, it’s been a weird day.”

You sighed dramatically, “I suppose you’re only thirty minutes late, and unfortunately phones don’t exist anymore, so I guess I’ll forgive you.”

Joel didn’t answer your playful banter, unsure of how to explain to you why he was so late. Instead, he went for the more subtle approach, running his hands down your sides so that he could place them against your lower abdomen. He pressed into the taut skin, holding it in his hands as he waited. The hitch in your breath was audible as you pressed your palms into the countertop to steady yourself, going rigid against him.

“S’okay darling, I love you. We’ll be alright,” he whispered, brushing his lips over your mark before he latched on to it.

You whined as Joel mindlessly nipped and kissed at the skin. He let your scent coating the back of his throat calm him, while his attention to your neck calmed you in turn. Nevertheless, the fear that had been brewing inside of you for days still needed to be released and it came fast, the tears flooding your lash line in an instant.

“I-I thought you’d be mad, I was worried you’d leave me here alone if I told you. I c-couldn’t - I can’t lose you, please Joel. I’d die if you left, or worse, just please! Please say that you’ll stay with me, with us,” you sobbed.

Joel tsked and hugged you tighter, swaying you in his arms as he cradled your stomach. You think you would die without him? He wanted to laugh at that, given the fact that he knew you would be fine. It was HIM that would die without YOU. Joel’s life would be meaningless without you, it would be a life that he would want no part of and he would inevitably succumb to his heartbreak almost immediately. To think that he would ever leave you, that he even had the ability to, was downright laughable.

“I wouldn’t, how could I? You’re everything to me, you’re my entire fucking world,” Joel said, his tone desperate as continued, “I’m not leaving either of you honey, no matter what. I promise that I’ll be there for you every step of the way, even if it scares the shit out of me.”

You whimpered and nodded, turning in his hold so that you dissolve into a puddle of tears against him. In an instant, all of the unease in your body melted away, making Joel realize just how long you had been tormenting yourself by keeping this secret from him. The realization hurt but he accepted it as a consequence, knowing that despite his best efforts he was not always the easiest person to talk to. He needed to remember this, to ensure that he would never be as closed ever again.

“I love you Joel,” you cried, rubbing your face against the gland on his neck.

Joel turned his head, capturing your lips in a damp kiss that wet his cheeks with your tears. He pushed all of his worries about babies and the future to the side, focusing on making his mate, the mother of his unborn child, feel the true extent of his love for her. With your lips moving together and your hands coming up to cover his to form a protective barrier over the precious cargo, he accepted what was to come.

When Joel broke away, he sighed, pressing a few stray pecks against your cheek before he pulled back completely. It was hard to stop doting upon you but he needed you to hear what he was about to say, and more importantly, he needed to hear himself say it.

“I love you too baby. We can do this, as long as we have each other we’ll be fine,” Joel said.

And to his credit, this time he actually meant it.

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