#he can't be attracted to someone the moment they meet. he needs to truly learn about you as a person before anything can manifest

[demon-prosecuted]

It's difficult to place Edgeworth's sexuality, but I'd say he's somewhere between demisexual and homosexual. It's a running joke in the games that he is not interested in women at all. But he also displays a lot of traits indicative of being aspec.

So.. Why not both? It's not that he doesn't desire intimacy - he simply requires a bit more patience from any prospective partners. You have to earn those "unnecessary feelings" from him.

[adamsrcnan]

OKAY OKAY here we goooo an annoyingly long-ish post about all my thoughts on The Sunshine Court

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilersss you've been warned

First things first it is so interesting to see Nora writing from not one but TWO new people's perspective. Jean's perspective is just devastating being inside his head is heartbreaking the constant fear and panic and how much of his energy is used on just pushing down every memory of what was done to him. His coping mechanisms are terrifying and i truly do hope by the end of book 2 he has a healthier way of dealing with it bc baby boy stop hurting yourself :( Every sentence was so painful to read. But also his resilience the entire time to get through it no matter what, god i fucking love him!!! He is a fighter.

Jeremy's perspective is sooooo refreshing. He is such a little sweetheart i could cry. The fact that he sends hand written letters and he's so caring and genuine but he can also be so stern. When he dropped that "i asked you a question" to Lucas fkehdjdfjdh OK SIR. I'M SAT. His relationship with the family butler is so endearing as well i need more background on that for sure! My only one criticism is that he didn't have enough pov chapters and i'm hoping we'll learn more in the second book of course because there's still so much about him and his (dysfunctional? toxic?) family dynamic that we don't know yet but also i'm greedy and i wanna know EVEYTHING about him !!!

Kevin and Jean are so just tragic it actually breaks my fucking heart like "you didn't have to slit my throat on the way out" JEAN??? and "promise me you won't try again. I can't lose you." KEVIN??? And the fact that Jean to this day is still keeping that promise. Also Jean's obvious but secret long term crush on Kevin the way it's subtly dropped every time Jean has to stamp down on his desire's and "temptations" GOD PLEASE I CAN'T STAND IT

SPEAKING OF!!! BISEXUAL JEAN ??? BI JEAN??? BI JEANNNN !!!!

Neil and Jean oh my God like where do i even start?? The guilt Jean feels at what happened to Neil in the Nest and him finally calling him by his name after Riko's death and telling him his game was good. And Neil seriously needs to give himself more credit for how much of a caring person he is because the way he indirectly told Jean that he thinks he is worth saving and didn't even hesitate before asking Stuart to send someone after That Guy after what Jean told him. Neil Josten the man that you are!!!

Jean's little sister Elodie what a beautiful name. Them being so close and him reading to her. The way he found out about her death jolted me differently. It was so awful and i'm so sorry Jean didn't get to see her grow up and meet her again.

Renee and Jean oh my god. Jean thinking she's beautiful (bitch me toooo) And the whole right person wrong time ugh i can't stand it. Him wearing her necklace all the time, enough that Jeremy always notices it. And unabashedly stealing her picture from the foxes lounge. Like he did not give a fuck. He said this one is mine. One good reason to stay alive being rainbows i'm gonna FKSJSKDHDH. Theirs would be such a soft love.

Speaking of soft loves Laila and Cat are EVERYTHINGGGG. God they are so cute with their little domestic life and their rich gay boy son who crashes on their couch with his cardboard cut out dog. That whole friendship dynamic is beautiful. Their fierce protectiveness and care over Jean as well and the patience they have with him even after the little kitchen incident. When Cat took Jean out for a drive on her motorcycle god that was such a heart warming moment and Jean helping them cook as well and becoming the girls' little sous chef it's so cute so endearing !!!

FINALLY FINALLY THE JEREJEAN DYNAMIC

PLEASE I'M GONNA SCREAM

Jeremy being the one who told Jean that Riko was dead i don't even know what to begin with THAT like hhhhhhh. The way they're both stupidly attracted to each other but won't/can't do anything about it. THE WHOLE "say yes Jeremy" SCENE WTF WAS THATTT I WAS GOING INSANEEEE. Both of them having to stop mid sentence when they catch the other looking FINE as hell. Jean being so obvious that even Lucas picks up on the way he looks at Jeremy. Jeremy being there to ground Jean in a Moment and helping him come down from it. Grabbing his face and telling him he's okay. Moving into the room with him to make him feel more comfortable !! The way Jean grabs Jeremy's chin (boiiiii). Jeremy constantly reminding Jean that he is NOT A RAVEN ANYMORE no matter how many times he has to say it. Jeremy saying he'll wait as long as it takes until Jean speaks to him. JEREMY GIVING HIM A HUG AND JEAN CLUTCHING DESPERATELY TO HIS SHIRT FUUCUFHDHSJHSSUHDH and then the "will you help me?" And the "Anything you need" AND THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE A CERAMICS CLASS TOGETHER?!?!?!!!! i can't i can't i can't i caaan'ttt

There's so much more to say but i'm gonna leave it at this for now because i need to go re-read it again and take my time with it this time round but i really could not have asked for anything better Nora truly outdid herself here !!! I'm forever grateful she blessed us with this after so long.

[emotionallyattachednerd]

Eternal Soul | IDW Rodimus/Hot Rod x f!human reader | NSFW 18+

Word count: 3500+

Warnings: Smut ( oral, sex, size difference and first time ) and robot on human. NSFW 18+.

Notes: Don't mean to sound creepy, but I enjoy the virgins. Something fun about first timers. Thanks @lonetile for sending through. Sorry for the wait. Once again, like many times before, I went a little crazy with the length of this. Hope you all enjoy. 🥰

☕ Coffee

Being the only human on the Lost Light crew was very exciting, but also hard, though you managed to find some sort of adjustment over time and to fit in with the new species. There is something though that has been on your mind, and you wish you got it done and over with before leaving earth.

You're still a virgin.

The last thing you want is to be a forty year old virgin, not that you were close to that age, but you didn't know just how long you were going to be away or if you were ever going to return to earth. It made you feel weird, and you wish you just hooked up with someone just to get the deed done.

Everyone was great, big, but allowed you to fit in. Each one has their own personality, different characters, but only one stood out. Rodimus is quite the charmer, silly, very flirty with you, and you find yourself falling for his charms.

At first you took it as his type of character, it's how he speaks to a lot of people, but over time you realise the tone difference when he's around others or around you, it's more smoother, husky even.

You never even imagined to be attracted to another species, yet here you are, almost drooling over the sight of Rodimus. Then it happens, he invites you back to his quarters, to talk more in private.

It gets more difficult though when he suddenly downsizes himself. Still large, but closer to your size. Apparently their species can do this and they call it mass displacement. The very sight of him like this gives you very sexual ideas but you force yourself to put these in the vault, for now at least.

Another thing that surprises you is the amount of comforts and silks he has on his berth. You didn't think his species had such things, then again you're still learning about them. More things will probably surprise you along the way.

"Are you alright? You look uncomfortable?" You're snapped out of your thoughts when you hear Rodimus speak right beside you, and you realise that you've been quiet, you probably look so stupid.

"Oh! I'm fine..."

"Sure, you look completely fine." Rodimus chuckles lightly. Damn that laugh. "Come on, you can tell me anything. I promise to keep all your deepest and darkest secrets to myself." He sends you that upturn charming smirk.

"Yeah, right." You can't help but snort softly through your gentle laughter before clearing your throat nervously. "Just...alright, look, you've been really nice to me the moment I arrived, helped me fit in and even spent time with me. You're...nice."

"What can I say? I'm a terrific guy!" He sits with his legs spread wide, cool guy style, helm tilted and optics directly on you. Jesus Christ.

"Is there a real reason you've been nice to me?" You cross your legs, sitting comfortably on the comforts under you.

"Do I need a reason?" He quickly adds on. "Well, I'm curious about you, don't meet many humans, and I find you rather cute." Its time for you to blush. He chuckles noticing this. "Ah! Even cuter when you get that hue going. Guess my charms truly work on you."

"You have no idea..." You murmur, and finally, you ask. Fuck it. "Sorry if this is weird, but I was wondering, does your species have sex?"

"Yeah!" He chuckles, answering as if it was nothing. "We call it 'interfacing' though. Why do you ask? Do you want to fool around?" There it is again, that husky tone.

"I-I mean...maybe?"

"Great! Let's get it going then!" He's suddenly on top and presses you down onto the comforts, about to kiss you but you stop him.

"Wait" You push against his chassis, panting heavily, slowly trying to recover from what just happened.

"Oh, sorry, too much? Thought we were both wanting the same thing? Or is there a weird human thing I don't know about?" Rodimus rambles as he sits up and gives you a little more space.

"I do! I-I do want that, but there's something you need to know about first, and I don't know how you're going to react."

Rodimus narrows his optics, watching them drift down and up your body. "Are you secretly a male? Because if you are, I'm totally cool with that."

You stare at him, baffled. "What? No, no I'm not. Jesus, don't you have any limits?"

"Not really." He sounds so proud of himself, making you giggle lightly.

"Alright, well, you should know that...I'm a virgin."

Now that's something he wasn't expecting, and ends up staring at you blankly through widen optics. The lingering silence makes you anxious and you meet his gaze, only to notice something in his face. "That turns you on, doesn't it?" Of course it does.

"It very much does. Sure, I've claimed some virgins in my time, but never a human, so I feel pretty damn lucky right now." He hovers over you closely, that charming upturn smirk plastered across his face.

Your nerves slowly start boiling up through you. Sure, you want this, but you are still agitated and processing what you are feeling. You weren't oblivious when it came to sex, you've watched porn, and some friends from earth have told their experiences.

"Scared?"

"A little." You admit through a shy murmur. That spunk is gone from him.

"Listen. I don't want you to feel pressured, so if you want to stop we can. But if we continue, I promise to go slow, whatever pace you want. I'm rather skillful so you've got the best offer here for you." All that smugness is gone and he's being all tender and caring. He understands you're nervous, and is being a real gentleman now.

This is happening, you don't want to back out.

"Alright, I trust you." You manage to answer through your shaky voice.

Rodimus is going to show you the best time possible, leaving no regrets and you only wanting to lay with only him. "Let's try this again."

He leans down again and this time you let him kiss you. It's soft and warm, not what you imagined kissing a robot would feel like, it's oddly delightful, and you lean into the kiss slowly, moving your hand up to caress his cheek.

You feel his glossa running across your lips before dipping between them, coiling with your tongue and letting out a low moan against you. There's a warm metallic taste coming from him, but there's a sweetness in it, surrounding your taste buds and causing you to moan softly in return. Sure, you've kissed guys before, but nothing compared to this kind of kiss. It was very sexual, needy, yet calm.

His servos observe over your body against your tight fitted clothes, sneaking under to touch your warm skin. He breaks apart from the intense kiss, letting out heated vents as optic downcast across your body curiously. "So, maybe you could help me out? Not used to these clothes you wear, kind of new to me."

"Alright." You're still nervous but bottle it up as you proceed to remove your clothes. First your tights, then your tank top, leaving you in your undergarments. Rodimus tilts his helm curiously at you, watching you remove your clothes slowly as he admires every inch of your soft body.

Unhooking your bra you can't help but hold it against your breasts for a moment before finally letting it drop. Then you slip out of your undies, kicking them aside and leaving you baren naked for him. You're flushed, heart hammering, feeling very exposed in his lustful optics, watching them glow brightly against you.

Silently he crawls closer, servos running up against your hip and up over towards your breast. Feeling his soft padded digits against them makes your breath hitch and nipples perk out from the contact.

"So soft." You hear him say through a gentle tone. "These can be played with, right?"

"Yeah..." You can't help but flush in embarrassment, earning an upturn smirk from him.

"I bet you've touched yourself plenty of times." His words cause you to stutter silently, earning a snicker from him. "You're so cute when you blush. Don't worry, I'll take very good care of you."

You find yourself laying down again on your back, Rodimus hovering over your naked body as he skillfully touches you all over, focusing on your breasts as he massages them before leaning over to gently drag his glossa against your perk nipple.

This causes you to arch your back, a surprised gasp leaving you, feeling nothing but the buzzing electric pleasure that rocks through your body. He likes your reaction, smirking smugly at her before taking the whole nipple into his mouth.

A lavish moan erupts from you as he does this, humming around your delicate nipple while circling his glossa around the bud, sucking as if he was a hungry baby. You feel his servo drift down between you both and touch your inner thigh making your skin quiver in delight. You then feel his digit glide up across your soft curls and against your pussy. A sudden shame tightens in your chest and he feels your body tense up, making him stop his movements and let go of your nipple with a slick pop.

"Is this alright?" He proceeds to place a kiss against your shoulder as her shifts himself back up a little. The tender contact makes you give him a bashful smile.

"Yeah. I just...don't want you to think I'm weird and hairy." You don't shave often, seeing no point, but you don't want to feel grossed out by you.

"Nah, not even close. You're an exotic beauty, gorgeous, and you have a seductive vibe that is really making me hot." He sends you a playful smirk. "So, can I continue?"

He's not your average guy, not in the slightest, but you think that's what makes this a little better to relax yourself. He's not one to judge, but to enjoy himself and make sure you have a good first experience. All you can answer with is a nod, and he continues, moving down across your body.

His warm kisses trail down lightly, across your breasts, stomach, moving between your thighs causing your breath to hitch from the tingling contact. His servos smooth against your hips and up over your waist, mouth lingering and heated vents hitting your very core, feeling his lascivious optics looking at you for just a short moment, before you feel his servos spread your thighs wider and his digits parting your pussy lips.

A jittery gasp escapes, feeling yourself exposed makes your body fidget slightly. Sure, you've touched yourself before, but no one has ever touched you like this.

"What a pretty tight flower you have." Rodimus whispers seductively, his dentas nibbling at his lower lip while he admires your fleshy pinkness, so much like a valve much to his delight. It means he knew exactly what to do with you. Leaning closer he gently drags his glossa between your folds and across your sensitive clit, letting out a groan that rumbles from his chassis.

A surprised whine erupts from you feeling him do this, so little yet with a strong reaction, it feels intensely good.

“Oh, I love that sound you make.” He drips out lustfully through a smug smile. "I can't wait to hear what other sounds I'll hear from you." He then moves forward again, nuzzling his mouth against your pussy and starts to lap at you slowly and eagerly, drawing out your sweet juices as you crane your neck back against the comforts and let out short blissful whimpers.

His glossa rolls between your folds before feeling it dip into your tight entrance causing your breath to hitch, mewling softly as he starts to feast upon your pussy and lap at your sweet dew all for himself.

Your hands grip at the comforts you lay under, eyes fluttering close as you spread your thighs more for him, melting under his erotic touches and glossa. This is so much mroe different than touching yourself, it's a thousand times better, a growing pleasure you've never felt before. You love it, every second of it.

Rodimus lets out a lingering moan against you, craving your sweet juices leaking constantly for him, drinking up everything you give him as your hips shimmy under his servos, moving in sync with his glossa.

His lips suddenly latch onto your clit and he sucks hard, causing you to mewl aloud as shivers through your body. Rapid pulses rush through you over again, eyes screwed shut as your mouth hangs open with lingering moans.

Suddenly, he stops, making you pout and causing him to chuckle lightly. "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to leave you hanging for too long." He moves back up and kisses you smoothly, tasting yourself at his lips and feeling his digit prob at your entrance before he pushes in your tight depths.

A whined hiss leaves you against his lips, the stretch is new and you are not used to it, but you try to relax by spreading your legs more and letting your body adjust to his exploring digit curling gently against your inner walls.

"So tight." He says as if he was praising you. "Frag, it's going to be a snug fit for my spike. Getting me really riled up here." Your cheeks bloom red hearing his words tickle against your ear.

"Just...please be gentle." You are worried it's going to hurt a lot, even though you're so aroused, you're still nervous about what is about to happen.

"I'll be gentle, don't you worry. You're soaking wet, so my spike should glide in with ease." He assures you before adding a second digit, stretching you further a little.

Your breath hitches but the pain wasn't so bad as you clench around him, hips moving slightly with his slowly pumping digits as he sucks at your tits again, letting out eager moans against you while you arch your chest up against his warm mouth latched onto you.

"Fuck." You breathe out through a moan, eyes closed as you lick your lips ambition.

Rodimus smiles against your nipple before letting out and gazing up at you. "Oh I love these babies, they are so soft and sensitive. I just want to bury myself in them."

Hearing this causes you to giggle tenderly through your growing arousal. "Yeah? Well, you can play with them whenever you like."

You say it before you think about it, however, he lets out a proud grin. "I was hoping you would say that. For now though, I want to make you mine, and claim your innocence."

There's a sound that confuses you, like metal shifting, then you feel something long and warm running up against your inner thigh causing your breath to hitch before glancing down.

There in plain sight was his cock, or his spike as he would call it, and you can't help but swallow thickly at the size of him. He's so thick! Bumpy ridges cascaded along his length, red luminous lines surrounding, and pink fluids leaks from his twitching tip, running around his spike to drip down onto the berth. You didn't even realise you've been staring so long and hear his playful snickers.

"Am I truly that impressive?" He leans closer as he asks this, caressing your cheek as his spike rests against your pussy.

"Yeah." You admit through a bashful smile. "You're rather big. Will you fit?" You can't help but question.

"I'm sure I'll fit. I have no doubt that you'll be able to accept my spike in your tight body. So, shall I pursue?"

All you can do is nod for your answer, feeling his lips against your own again as you rub your hands over his shoulders, a way to distract you as he positions himself and pushes into your tight entrance.

It's happening. You feel his pulsing length invade your heated core until he is met with resistance, lifts your leg up against his hip before pushing more firmly, and you feel the sharp pain snap through you.

You're no longer a virgin.

The pain wasn't so terrible but it does sting and ache still, feeling him going slow as he pushes further in, feeling his ridged spike pulsing rapidly through your channel while he kisses you slowly and passionately. You moan, both pain and pleasure, and he groans in return while his glossa coils eagerly with your tongue.

Rodimus is now pressed firmly against your pussy, fully imbedded, as he keeps still to savour your tightness clenching around him. You feel so full, which causes you to move your hand down between you bodies and your breath hitches when you feel a bulge against your lower belly caused by his vast spike throbbing in you. He does the same to meet your hand and feels it, making him break the kiss and lets out a lazy grin through his flaming arousal.

"See? You took all of me so well. You're so tight, can feel everything in you, feels fragging, wonderful, tightest valve I've ever had. Are you doing alright?" To hear him ask was kind of him.

"I'm alright..." You whimper out softly. "Please, fuck me, I want to feel it all."

"Have it all you shall have, darling." He says before he starts to move, pulling out gently, noticing the wet crimson along his spike indicating your innocence is no more. He feels rather proud of himself to be able to be your first. Gently, he rolls his waist back in, fully imbedded, and sets a calm pace as he fucks you, groaning lowly repeatedly.

Your legs tighten at his waist while your hands wrap around the back of his neck to hold onto him, soft mewls erupting from you as you feel yourself rock gently under his movements. The pain dulls and you casually now feel only the growing rush of heat flooding through you, feeling your clit rubbing against him with his movements in perfect sync.

The bulge repeatedly expands against your lower belly over again as his spike reaches deep, claiming every bit of you. Your body rocks and shakes under his slowly growing movements, thrusts becoming shorter and firmer, heated grunts formed out from him as he holds a tighter grip against your thigh and hip, watching himself entering your pussy over again. His spike hits your g-spot causing your back to arch sharply.

"Fuck! Oh fuck!" You cry out in bliss, the pounding pleasure boiling rapidly through your hot body, pussy accepting every inch of him as he snaps forward over again. There's no holding back now.

"Fragging pit, feels so good! Sucking me whole, such a good girl. Yeah, that's it, keep clenching. I'll fill you deeply with my fluids, over again, make sure your body drinks everything I give. Do you want that, huh? Want me to frag you always?" His heated vents hit against your neck as he leans closer again, pace firm and hard as he tugs you against his solid movements.

"P-please..." You whimper out as you struggle with your words.

"What's that? Go ahead, tell Roddy what you want." His rough movements are intoxidating, you crave every bit of it, clenching around his throbbing spike even more, feeling your pleasure about to snap.

"You!" You cry out in ecstasy. "All of you!"

"Take all of me then!"

Burying his face into your neck he sets an abrupt and hard pace, jackhammering against your body as he bends your leg up over his shoulder, stretching your body and you love just how much you can flex under his strong movements. He grunts hard into your ear, each thrust creating another animalistic sound from him as you fall apart under him, lust consuming every bit of you and him in the rapid movements, before you feel yourself about to crumble and don't hold back, cumming hard around his thrusting spike buried deep in you.

Your orgasim is what sends him over the edge as he lets out a lingering throat loud moan followed by the warm trans fluids flooding your channel, overlosding himself within you. His movements continue, slowing down and giving small jerks against you so he can savour every bit of you still.

You're a painting mess, moaning as you feel his spike still buried deep with the bulge and fluids embedded deeply, allowing yourself to catch your breath as he slowly comes to a stop.

Rodimus tilts your head and shares a kiss with you, tender and loving kind, before looking deeply into your eyes through his hazy optics.

"So, pretty good right?" That smugness in his voice is cute.

"So good." You answer without lying.

"Think you can handle a second round?" He gives his waist a teasing thrust, spike twitching through your inner channel that makes you whimper softly through a cocky smile. Sure, why not?

"Let's find out."

[psychiccent]

The Elephant in The Room: Frederica

I almost made this as a post for Shinkane week but wanted to keep the attention primarily on my fav Psycho couple. The Frederica/Kogami situation might be worrisome for some shippers, but I absolutely ADORE watching the interactions play out between these two characters. When analyzing, we can spot key differences in how both relationships are handled/developed by our PP Overlords.

It is safe to say that Frederica harbors an attraction for Ko... THAT aspect of the story, the writers have made no secret of. Poor Tenzing had to witness Frede pull out the big guns in their initial meeting, noting the arch of Frede's back/chest as she bent forward to interact with Ko. There is even a scene in the Sinners novelization wherein Frederica sets the mood for SOMETHING to happen between them using body language and a suggestive tone. During this scene, we learn something vital about the current dynamic that exists between these two: The attraction felt here is running on a one-way street, with no reciprocation in sight from Ko. What DOES Kogami end up doing in this situation? An obviously attractive woman, neutral in standing for now, is exhibiting a keen interest in getting closer to you. It's an easy way for the writers to establish the potential for chemistry and yet... Deciding that he doesn't know WHAT to make of all that Frederica is silently offering, Ko settles for simply ignoring the obvious and the scene ends shortly after. I believe this serves as another callback to Ko not being a casual fling type of guy. These interactions (and many others) help reinforce the idea that Kogami is not a man easily swayed by traditional beauty standards, despite the man's knack for letting his instincts reign supreme in most situations.

That scene was a bit of a missed opportunity, don't you think? There is another moment wherein Ko introduces Frede as someone from his home country, and we have another male gaze in the room posed to appreciate the obvious appeal that Frede brings to the table. In this scene, writers could have taken it a tiny step further (if this was truly their intent to establish SOMETHING here) and have the merc outright assume that Frede was Ko's woman. But no such conclusions were drawn, no implications of Ko enjoying his newfound company or missing home...nada. The same can't be said for Akane and Ko, whom have enemies nicknaming Akane 'JULIET' of all things, Shion sounding the alarm anytime those two are together, or the fact that Gino's reactions to their (Akane and Ko's) ACTIONS speaks volumes.

Kogami strikes me as a man with a desire for both understanding AND intimacy when it comes to potential partners, and the life Ko has led so far has not been ideal for cultivating that kind of love/connection. We see, through Ko and Frede's interactions that they function well as a unit/team but are still learning about one another. Whatever level of intimacy/understanding that Ko needs to share with his potential love interest is (whoever that may be *COUGHAKANECOUGH*), Frede is a far cry from being able to qualify in that particular category. Frede's dynamic with Kogami is, in my opinion, what a proper Inspector/Enforcer relationship SHOULD have been like between Ko and Akane (with less emphasis on the obvious attraction undertones, of course) and when looking at these two relationships from that perspective, the parallels we can observe are very telling.

I also can't help but mention that in supplementary PP content (I believe it was a game?) , it is stated that Ko is not a fan of having people/girls hanging off of, or otherwise pining over him... they even joke and say that it's the other way around and Akane is shocked to discover this "side" of Ko. I will take that with a grain of salt, but it certainly checks out with what we have seen so far, don't ya think? Is it impossible for Kogami and Frederica to wind up together? of course not, anything can happen! But color me surprised if that is the direction the writers decide to take.

[byemambo]

Love in the Big City: Navigation with a Faulty Compass [PT.1]

The last #mambo.speaks post I've written was about Monster Next Door, which you can find here and here. I binged the entire Love in the Big City season the night it was released, and boy oh boy do I have so many things on my mind since then. Since I feel like each theme I'd like to cover is influential of one another and not specific to each episode, I'll be dividing up my posts by topic and referring to the episodes as so.

For starters: LITBC is not just your average BL series with vague descriptors and tropes. It encapsulates many moments of our youth that undergo major transformations, from finding your path in your early 20s, dealing with past traumas and experiences from childhood and adolescence, the process of growing and shedding your own skin, and learning what it means to walk through the world with an open mind and open heart. This is why I'm thoroughly impressed with Nam Yoon Su's performance as Go Yeong, a 20-something closeted gay man living in South Korea and experiencing the world through the lenses of a queer individual in a conservative society that is built upon fear through misogynistic and homophobic views. In some people's eyes, this is the story of a young man paving his way through his romantic relationships and dealing with their individual challenges, some decisions being self sabotaging and others unfair and horrific. However, the main theme I noticed in Go Yeong, because I resonate with such similar stories and experiences: navigating the world with a faulty moral compass and dealing with its consequences and shortly after, transformative lessons.

Since there are many spoilers in these posts, everything will be under the cut!

Go Yeong's First Scene: Time is of the Essence

In the first few scenes, we're introduced to Go Yeong: a rambunctious free spirit who speaks his mind and sticks to his values, especially when it concerns the disrespect of others. With having such a strong personality, many of us must learn self regulation in order to keep ourselves out of trouble, as conflict can steer us in a direction we have no business participating in. I felt like this line from his hookup/situationship firmly sums up Go Yeong's character when we first meet him: someone who calls things for what they are, but at the cost of him carrying his heart on his sleeve and for others to "see right through him" Go Yeong is an open book, not leaving much room for people to understand his more complex side and therefore, becoming an easy target for public scrutiny and criticism. After all, having no attachment to your reputation and image means that there's no need to invest too much of yourself in others, especially when you're met with a reality outside of your expectations.

Episode 1

Once he meets Nam Gyu, a person rigid and particular in his values and character, Go Yeong is met with an important lesson:

"Whatever the reason may be, being late is absolutely unacceptable. Time is gold."

At first, Go Yeong is dismissive of such a stingy mindset, given that it's almost completely opposite to how Go Yeong currently leads his life: now and not now. He confronts his absentmindedness, but is admittedly saved by his natural charisma and charm, something that he can't easily shake off and continues to attract the attention of others, including those that do not have his best interest in mind.

Episode 1

Traveling to the place he's most familiar with and can truly be his authentic self, Go Yeong runs into Nam Gyu, having a conversation and sharing intimacy out in public until he notices Mi Ae, a classmate who he now worries about her leverage in revealing vulnerable information about his sexuality if she so desires. However, during Nam Gyu's exchange, I found it interesting how in small moments, we can see the push back both people have towards their natural selves: Go Yeong's apprehensiveness towards Nam Gyu's peculiar ways, Nam Gyu assuming Go Yeong's enthusiasm and playfulness as drunkenness and unserious. I feel like so many of us, especially those who have difficulty finding love, cling onto chances to share such a deep and meaningful connection with others, undermining all of the small red flags and deal breakers in our faces at the beginning. This is a moment in Go Yeong's youth where he's still learning more about himself, but moreso about how he chooses to navigate his love life and what he's willing to accept and tolerate. This results in intimacy behind closed doors or only in the sight of other queer people just like him, but finding no luck as he's met with unfaithful or selfish individuals who will always choose themselves and their dignity rather than share responsibility for circumstances involving both parties. After all, it takes two to tango.

Episode 1

This resentment towards his failures in dating and relationships can become discouraging for many, increasing in difficulty as you carry more intersectional aspects of your character under your belt. Someone like Nam Gyu who appears straight passing in his mannerisms and how he presents himself for the public eye, this is something Go Yeong can only achieve with his outer appearance such as wearing more traditional masculine clothing and leaving his more feminine expression at home or at the gay club. He also keeps his ecstatic personality under wraps when he's around other straight people, and unfortunately, his passive nature lands him with people who begin testing the waters in openly expressing their bigotry with their peers, hoping that he'd be a bystander or even complicit to the same beliefs.

Episode 1

Unable to keep up with appearances, Go Yeong retaliates against his former friend group, which they immediately resent and abandoned him to his own devices. This feeling of social isolation can be frustrating, but for Go Yeong's case, his detached mentality saves him from a more grim reality: tolerating the bullshit that comes with bigots and bystanders. We get a deeper understanding of Go Yeong's lackluster nature outside of his night life with his other queer friends by looking into his childhood and upbringing (which will be discussed in a future post).

During his relationship with Nam Gyu, Go Yeong is met with the idea of "earnest love," to which Nam Gyu becomes a fool in love with Go Yeong despite their differences. However, these differences continue to drive a wedge between the two, causing damage on both ends due to inaccurate communication, abandonment of their true selves, and ignoring the fundamental differences that deem them incompatible due to the realities of their expectations. I'm sure in Go Yeong's eyes as he had rarely been spoon fed love in his life, this is love so it should be ok, right? He isn't doing anything necessarily wrong, so what good would be make to punish him for doing everything right? This becomes a common hardship to overcome: Learning how to love when you've never truly been loved before. And to truly love is the bravest thing anyone can do.

Episode 2

You were always a good person but I was a coward. I wanted to be loved by you but I wasn't brave enough to receive your love. I'm sorry. Next time, don't meet a coward like me. Meet someone who'll truly love you, someone good. Please.

I've always been a firm believer in the phrase: people accept the love they think they deserve. This also coincides with "hurt people hurt people." In this current moment of Go Yeong's youth, love is still foreign to him, a language that he lacks proficiency in. Sure, there are concepts of it in movies, books, and other forms of entertainment, but to see and experience it up close is a completely different ball game with unexpected challenges and plays people tend to keep behind closed doors. Moments in relationships where conflicts arise, where feelings are hurt, when exchanges are made that damages the strength of the relationship. What if my friends find him weird? Why does the word "splendid" annoy me so much? Why is he still the first person I call when I'm in a rut? Why am I so shameless?

With a weak sense of self and unfamiliarity in his own skin outside of his appeal towards others, Go Yeong holds onto a damaged image of himself that he currently refuses to let go. It's all he's ever known. From living life in survival mode (which is something I'm also actively unlearning as time progresses), to needing to one day surrender yourself to another person, to realizing that love is more complex than simply being in proximity and sharing each others' enthusiasm for liking one another, this all comes crashing down once Nam Gyu's death becomes know, and the reason for his death is revealed.

Learning early on that to maintain peace and order by capitalizing off of our anxiety and fears, it's our responsibility to control every moving part that could potentially steer us in the wrong direction. This is applicable to shrinking ourselves and only adhering to the transactions of others: money, sex, intoxicants, self worth, all things to strip of a person in order to uplift ourselves. What Go Yeong desired was to get away from Nam Gyu after the break up, what Nam Gyu desired was to remain with the "love of his life," even if that means ultimately giving up who he is. However, such obsession only drove him to the end of his life, which I'm sure for a period of time, Go Yeong took sole responsibility and blame for. That's simply the person Go Yeong had learned to become: absorb the pain, because any moment of happiness and bliss will soon be disrupted with chaos and instability.

Episode 2

In these moments, we learn that life is fleeting and that anything can happen in the blink of an eye. So we must learn to move through life with intention, with grace, with delicacy, with care. In moments of heated disagreements, exchange of words that serve as ammo with goals of achieving harm disturbing enough to scare someone into the opposite direction, most of us never learn to appreciate things until they're gone, until it's too late. Not for the faint hearted: sometimes those things become the people we were meant to love but didn't have the ability to. And unfortunately, time and death waits for no one, no matter who you are or what you've done. Rather than making assumptions based on your own preconceived notions and ignorance, learn to open our hearts and to learn how to interpret the way our loved ones love, before the reality of death reminds us of impermanence and what we once had.

[bumbburger]

i got to write tonight...

Reaper76 modern AU - the meeting

Jack groaned and rolled over. His eyelids were heavy, but no sleep could relieve the tired ache in his bones. This exhaustion ran deeper than his head. It seeped into his blood, his muscles, his bones. Okay, he would admit that was a tad dramatic, but the insomnia truly did a number on him as of late.

He threw the covers off himself. Despite it being mid-autumn, the cursed city was always so warm. LA. City of Angels and whatnot, yet Jack had only met one. A detective who did his late-night shopping at the Quick Mart down the block. Reyes, he would overhear the cashier hail him by name. Gabriel Reyes, he'd come to learn. The man shared his name with a goddamned archangel. He looked every bit as fitting for it. Dark brown hair that had started to streak white by his temples, a goatee that Jack was shockingly attracted to… rich brown eyes and an endless list of heavenly features.

Jack sat up on his bed, getting lost in his imagination. The clock beside him read 2:47 A.M. Maybe he'd try his luck at the Quick Mart and try to spot his angel again. Hell, maybe he'd actually ask for his number this time.

With a grunt, Jack pulled himself out of bed and into his small closet. He sifted through his outfits, all rather plain. He went with the safest option, his gray hoodie and black skinny jeans. Not the ones with the ripped knees this time, too formal, he thought. Between his combat boots, his winter boots, and his work boots… he just pulled on the work boots.

He thinks about getting a better job so he can dress himself better… but nothing in this city suits him. He can't afford to move, either. Classic America. He sighs and dismisses the thought again. The Farm and Home shop was definitely the best job he could pull anyway.

And now he's going to go and try to flirt with a beautiful detective at a Quick Mart in the middle of the night. What had his life become?

He grabbed his wallet and his phone, then descended the stairs leading to the street below.

Much to his liking, the air almost had a chill to it. Maybe this hellish city would finally cool down, but it's no replacement to the midwest.

He walked with his hands in his hoodie pocket, down the block to the store.

He stepped through the automatic doors and made his way down to the produce section. He did actually need things to sustain himself. He perused into the frozen items section, glancing through the glass doors. He didn't hear the brooding figure that snuck up behind him.

Reyes stood beside him, clad in his rich burgundy coloured leather jacket. The scent of cologne prompted Jack to turn, nearly jumping out of his hide when he realized someone was beside him.

"Jesus-" He gasped, bringing a hand to his chest.

There was a low chuckle from the man beside him. He took a breath and smiled, then looked at the frozen food displays.

"You eat this shit?" Reyes asked, still grinning slightly.

Jack huffed and ran his hand over his hair as he collected himself.

"Yeah? I can't afford a beautiful dinner every night of the week." He answers plainly.

Gabriel pursed his lips and sucked in a calculated breath.

"Guy like you shouldn't be living offa this shit." He glanced back at Jack with a curious furrow in his eyebrow.

It was Jack's turn to laugh a bit.

"A guy like me doesn't have a choice, unfortunately." Jack has a small grin on his face as he goes back to his selection.

Gabriel checks the watch on his wrist, biting his tongue as he considers his options.

"I'd feel a lot better if you'd let me get you something. Hell, I'll cook for you, I don't have a bedtime." He has this sort of smug look on his face as he suggests this, like he already knows the answer.

Jack stares blankly at the steely man for a moment, unsure how to respond.

"What?" Real smooth, Jack.

Gabriel let out another grumbly laugh.

"I want to cook you dinner, sunshine. Just to spare you another night of this slop." He takes the TV dinner out of Jack's hands, the motion is gentle.

Jack is dumbfounded. He came here to ask for this man's number but Gabriel turned the whole encounter on its head. Jack's tongue feels heavy as a brick in his mouth, removing his ability to form a meaningful sentence. He nods his head.

"Y- yeah-" He stammered the word out.

Gabriel beamed as he led Jack out the door, paying for both of their groceries aside from the omitted frozen foods. Gabriel points down the block, opposite from Jack's route home.

"My apartment is down there two streets away. You don't mind a little walking?" He raises an eyebrow at the blonde man.

Jack shakes his head.

"Could probably use it, it's almost nice out here." Jack follows Gabriel along the battered sidewalk.

"You like colder weather?" Gabriel turns his upper half a bit to appear attentive.

"Absolutely. This city is like Hades every season but winter." Jack lets out a huff at this passionate subject.

"I take it you didn't grow up here." He can hear the smirk on Gabriel's face.

"No, I didn't."

"East Coast?" Gabriel guesses.

Jack shakes his head.

Gabriel narrows his eyes.

"Ohio?"

Jack shakes his head. "Close."

"No way- you're a farm boy, aren't you?"

Jack lets out a small laugh.

"Up until I was 19, yeah. I'm going to assume you can tell the rest." Jack puts his hands back into his hoodie pocket.

Gabriel nods, and gets a bit of a more resolute look on his face.

"Military." He pauses to look Jack up and down. "Boring wardrobe… can't figure out how a guy like you ends up in Los Angeles."

"Just imagine I closed my eyes and threw a dart at a map." Jack shrugs.

"Ohh… I'll have to make you dinner if I want more info huh." Gabriel shakes his head.

Jack laughs slightly. "I can't give up the mystery on the first night…"

"Damn you." Gabriel smiles as they fall into silence the rest of the way back to Gabriel's apartment.

[kpopstanships]

Personality Ship #1

This is a personality ship order for the lovely anon Nana 💗. Thank you first of all for your kind words and your support they truly mean the world to me. I hope you are having a wonderful day/night depending on when you see this and here you go my love!

In Ateez I ship you with YUNHO

You stated in your description that you want someone who is different from you in terms of personality and I feel like Yunho would bring a nice balance to your life. He has a more outgoing nature that may come off as intimidating when you first meet him but as he gets closer to you he will be able to slowly pull you out of your shell and make you show you more energetic side. Yunho loves your more happy and childish nature and he will definitely encourage that when the two of you are together. He wants you to genuinely be yourself around him at all times so he always makes sure to be that bundle of positive energy that you need to open up to him. Yunho is someone who easily makes you feel safe and loved and you find that you can bounce off of him pretty easily. Also Yunho loves when you cook or bake new things for him to try, especially if you make something special for just him. It doesn't matter what it is, he will happily try it then go bragging to the other members about how amazing his S/O is for cooking for him and how jealous they must be that they can't have any. You and Yunho are different enough to pull out new sides of each other, but also close enough that it is a comfortable transition that makes you the perfect couple.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

In Seventeen I ship you with JOSHUA

Someone who is calm and gentle when needed, but also has his fun and playful moments. Joshua is another individual that I feel would balance out your relationship and make sure that you were comfortable with him. He is calm and patient with you when you need it but he also has his own hyper energy that can also pull you out of your shell. Joshua is someone who is able to meet you in the middle and really take the time to get to know and understand all your little habits that just makes him fall for you even more. I feel like Joshua would find you very cute but also just chaotic enough to brighten his day. He understands your actions due to your relationship with your siblings and while he would never change you, he definitely encourages your more childish and soft side when he feels you need it. He's very good at balancing your energy but also being the support system that you need to overcome certain issues. Also, as someone who also knows multiple languages I feel that this is a trait he would adore as its something he can relate to and he would always assist you with your studies learning a new language.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

In Monsta X I ship you with MINHYUK

I'm going to be completely honest I knew right away when reading your description that I wanted to put you with Minhyuk because I think you two are perfect for what the other wants in a partner. Not only are your personality types super compatible in an opposites attract type of way but I also feel that, based off the brief appearance description you gave, that he would be immediately attracted to you. You are someone that would catch his interest and he would be the one to seek you out first. There's not really an awkward phase between the two of you, you find that you are able to open up to him pretty quickly and things progress from there. His energy radiates onto you and encourages your more happy and childish nature to come out which in turn powers him. On the other hand, you are more reserved than he is and I think that nature would also rub off onto him and allow him to be more calm and genuine around you as opposed to moments when he's with his members. You two bond easily and are able to recharge in each others presence.

Thank you again for your order and I hope you like your ship. Feel free to request again at any time.

My requests for Personality ships are open! For more details or to see the other ships I offer please check out my menu here

Side note: I have decided to retheme how I do my ships, please let me know if you like the new ship layout or prefer the old one!

↪ With love: Katt 

[seaside-lovers-archive]

🩸 Hank & Kit ⛓️

picrew credit

Ship name/tag: 🩸 my most wanted

Anniversary: February 10, 2022

F/O source: Madness Combat/MADNESS: Project Nexus

My backstory: I'm a grunt who never ends up aligning myself with any particular faction, so I live on the outskirts of Nexus City, stealing scavenging things for survival and selling what I don't need to make some coin. Two of my regular customers happen to be Sanford and Deimos, who drop by every once in a while to peruse my wares. Unfortunately, due to my association with them, my base gets raided by the A.A.H.W. and cleaned out, leaving me with nothing but the clothes on my back.

I'm able to offer up some of my skills (scavenging, basic medical care, one-on-one fighting) to S.Q. in exchange for shelter and food. I start working primarily as 2BDamned's right hand man, helping deliver orders as needed and gathering useful supplies.

How we meet: I happen to meet Hank when he tromps in, pushing past me and holding out his nearly severed arm to 2BDamned, asking for help. 2BDamned has me assist him, figuring it would be useful for me to see how to fix up severe injuries. I happen to give Hank a quick greeting during this moment.

First impressions: Hank's an asshole, and that fits my first impression of him. He's rude and doesn't really care about anyone but himself. While this does slowly get "better" over time, Hank's concern for no one else makes me dislike him initially, though I find him quite attractive (big scary man = instant heart eyes tbh).

Hank just views me as another tool of S.Q.; someone who can provide him with weaponry and other supplies as needed. He doesn't feel any particular way toward me.

Getting closer: I work on my fighting skills with Sanford and Deimos, becoming better at using guns as well as fighting with other weapons, learning to turn the battle my way when my opponent is significantly bigger than me. This leads me to eventually joining both them and Hank on missions instead of just staying back at the base.

Hank and I very slowly begin to develop a friendship this way. While we are technically acquaintances, it takes awhile for our relationship to develop into a close friendship due to how little he communicates with others. While I thought for awhile that Hank didn't like me, I later discovered that outside of battle where his confidence and prowess shines, he's really awkward and kind of shy. Both of us being autistic and not great at starting conversations means it takes awhile for us to truly become friends, though we start to connect more when we discover our shared interest of animals (especially cats).

During this time as well, my physical attraction slowly develops into a crush as I get to know Hank better. He is very coarse in his language and general attitude but slowly begins to show a more protective side toward us as we get closer (and toward Sanford and Deimos, too, as they work toward repairing their relationship).

Beginning our relationship: Hank finally accepted that he had a crush on me quite awhile after he had met me - romantic love is not something he's really experienced before, so he ends up talking to his most trusted friend, 2BDamned, about it, since Doc has a romantic partner (Jenn). Doc gives him some good advice - be open about it to me but don't force it if I don't reciprocate his feelings.

With Valentine's Day coming up, Hank approaches me with a small, handmade card and admits that he's pretty terrible with relationships and has no clue if he'll even be a good partner, but he wanted to start dating me if I was interested.

I end up reciprocating his feelings and we start officially "dating" on that day.

Ship trope(s): Battle Couple, Headbutt of Love

Aesthetics: Weaponry, birds (especially vultures), fences

Our song(s): "I Was Made For Lovin' You" by Kiss, "Antimatter" by Silent Planet

Favorite forms of affection: Hank's prosthetic/metal jaw means he can't kiss properly, but I don't care too much for kissing so I don't mind at all. We find that our favorite way to show affection is by touching our foreheads together; usually I'll give him a kiss as well. Hank also likes to nuzzle me.

Hank adores hugs as well, and I enjoy being squeezed tightly, so he'll sometimes give me hugs as well (usually in private; he's not super comfortable with PDA).

Favorite kind of date: We don't often have a lot of down time (and Hank prefers to do something productive) but we like spending time together by drawing. It's fun and relaxing; plus, a good way for us to bond as we share our doodles and even sometimes collaborate.

Ways we comfort one another: Hank likes to get out any negative energy/feelings via physical activity, so I like to spar with him when he's feeling upset in any way.

Hank likes to bring me trinkets when I'm upset - something shiny, rocks, feathers, whatever he can find that I might like. It's a nice pick me up when I'm feeling down.

What we love most about each other: Hank admires me pursuing him. He's used to people not wanting to get to know him (and he can't really blame them), so when I actively start pursuing him as a friend (and later work on improving our romantic relationship), he really likes that.

I love Hank's willingness to compromise. He's initially not someone who really cares about me much but as our friendship grows, he becomes protective. Like, really protective. It's something I end up discussing with him because while I don't mind him basically being a guard dog/appreciate his care, I want to be able to go out and explore without him being over my shoulder. His willingness to listen to me and change is something I really love, and I try to do the same for him.

F/O headcanons:

He age regresses when he is stressed/angry

Hank is autistic; his special interests are kitchen appliances and cats

He primarily uses sign language to communicate; especially after getting his prosthetic jaw, he finds it painful to speak so sign language is much easier

[procrastinatingfeminist]

Actually, no, I need to elaborate.

For Buck, relationships always come with an expiration date. Maddie left for college, Abby ran away to Europe, Ally, Taylor, you get the picture. Even with Eddie, as soon as he started dating Ana, Evan slowly but surely began to be pushed out, replaced with the girlfriend, his presence in the Diaz family diminished. His parents cared for him only so long as he was useful for Daniel. He learned early on that he can only trust his own feelings, but never the other person's, because no matter what they say, there will inevitably come a moment when the equilibrium between him being enough, being worth kepping around and him being too much starts tipping, so he always has to be on the lookout for the warning signs. Signs beyond what the other person is saying. After all, Maddie still loved him when she left, didn't she? Abby still loved him when she ran away, didn't she? Or was she lying? What the hell is he supposed to do with this Schrodinger's love if it isn't worth shit as an indicator for someone staying or leaving? How is he supposed to trust that what they say is truly what they feel? If they felt the same, they wouldn't leave, would they?

Tommy though... Tommy never doubted the veracity of his partners' feelings. His life was full of stolen moments of intimacy, but they were all the more true for their inability to stand the scrutiny of witnesses. Kissing one moment, when they are alone, but jumping away from each other when they hear someone approaching. Being madly in love, hidden from strangers' eyes in their own four walls, but being barely acquaintances or friends when meeting in the company of family or coworkers. The dilemma that Tommy is facing is being in a Schrodinger's relationship - fluctuating between being in a relationship and being single, depending on whether and who is observing.

So, when Evan reaches for Tommy's hand, he is subconcsiously saying 'I am physically holding you in place so you can't leave me even though i am fucking this up and saying all the wrong things. I need you to stay with me through good moments and the not so good ones'.

And when Tommy reaches back to hold Evan's hand, he is subconsciously saying 'I need you to face this with me together; not only when we are alone, but also when we are surrounded by people who know us. I will physically hold you in place so you are unable to run away from the scrutiny and hide'.

And i think it is beautiful.

(Also, the way Tommy crosses his arms right before the kiss, during Buck's rambling declaration about getting attention is like he is holding onto himself so that he doesn't run away and hide. It would have been the easiest thing to say 'nevermind, we are all buddies, all is good' but he is honest about his attraction to Buck and he isn't going to pretend that it was all just about friendship.)

I love how Buck and Tommy are reaching for each others hands in the cafe scene. Maybe it will become their thing, like casual touches and standing too close to each other is Buck and Eddie's thing. But i think it has different meanings to them. While for Buck holding someone 's hand means "Don't leave me", for Tommy it means "Don't hide. Don't run away".

[7ndipity]

"As the Moon"

Vampire Namjoon x Reader

Warnings: supernatural themes, angst, implied death, blood drinking, suggestive moments, Joon's a lil obsessive

A/N: this is kinda all over the place but idk, I literally can't get my brain to focus anymore rn. Inspired by "Not by the Moon" by GOT7.

Spooktober m.list

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"Swear to me not by the moon, for to love something as the moon is a terrible fate. Ever changing, ebbing and flowing with the tides. Never able to fully hold it, grasp it in your hands. It's kiss is not kind, soft and fleeting as falling snow. You will only ever be lonely."

Namjoon closed his book, staring out the window as the last rays of sunlight faded out behind the silhouette of the city.

'Finally.' He'd been waiting anxiously for it to grow dark enough to be safe to go out. Pulling his shoes on, he quickly made his out onto the street.

He pulled his ballcap lower as he passed through a particularly crowded area, keeping his head down to avoid giving faces to the passing figures, the neon glow of the city lights splashing them with artificial vibrancy. It was easier to ignore the need in the pit of his stomach if he didn't make eye contact.

That was how it always started; accidentally meeting someone's eye, the brief glimpse into their soul triggering the hunters reflex in him, flicker over his vision, canines sharpening.

He didn't mean to be that way, it truly was involuntary. Vampires were incredibly instinctual, driven by an ever present thirst.

Feeding was about far more than just satiating hunger. It was like a complete and total fusion of souls. When he fed from someone, he could feel everything they felt, be everything that they were. In those moments, he was filled with pure euphoria.

In all the years since he had become this way, he had become certain that there was nothing, no drug or liquor, that could ever compare.

But it was a drug he couldn't handle. it was too strong for him, too easy to overindulge in, and that had come at too high a price for those he took from, often costing them their life.

If he didn't care it would be easier, but he did. So now he had learned to control the hunger, surviving on tasteless blood bags. He didn't let himself get close to anyone anymore, moving about in a silent, colorless blur, living only for his work, denying himself any indulgence.

Until you.

It had seemed random at the time, but now, he believed it to be fate, when one evening he had wandered into a small, unassuming bookshop and there you were. Soft, bright, so full of color, a goddess reincarnate in his eyes.

He had tried not to be obvious at first, trying focus his attention on one book after another, only for his gaze to be continually drawn back to you. The yellow glow of the steetlight through the window caught in your hair, creating a golden halo around you as you carefully rearranged one of the shelves, somehow so ethereal in something so benign.

You had a relaxing air about you that was intoxicating, your eyes a youthful honesty that he envied. Being around you brought back a warmth he hadn't known in a long time. He felt it seep through him, like ink through paper, staining him with you.

He started coming by more and more often. The two of you would spend hours talking about favorite books and interests. You were independent and unafraid to speak your mind, making it clear that you were equally into him.

When he finally got up the courage to offer and walk you home one night, you'd immediately said yes.

It was like he'd been brought back to life again, a withered rose bush revived by the summer rain.

But just as roses had their thorns, his darkness loomed just below the surface, threatening to crack through the controlled exterior he had carefully constructed.

His attraction for you was a double edged sword. As you grew closer his hunger grew. Everything about you drew him in, your voice, your scent, your touch.

The first time you kissed, his fangs had slipped out. When you'd let out a gasp at the feeling of them scraping against your lips, he had tried to turn away, ashamed, but you wouldn't let him.

You had seen him for his true self and loved him anyway. Rather than making him more cautious, his addiction to you had only intensified.

Some nights he would just sit outside your building, staring up at your window. He understood now how Ambrosio must have felt for Selene in the Greek tale. He knew it was dangerous to get so close to you, but he couldn't let you go. You were his sunlight. To live without you was an agony he couldn't bear to face.

So, he stifled his impulses down even further. He made sure not to go too long in between feedings. It wouldn't be like the others with you, he swore to himself, he could control it, he had to.

But his resolve was tested when you invited him in one evening, removing the last barrier between him and you.

He tried to keep his composure, but could he barely focus, his hands refusing to submit to him, following your instruction rather than his.

"It's okay." You whispered, ghosting you lips over his.

"Don't say that." He groaned. You didn't know what you were saying, what you were promising, if he started-

"It's okay." You whispered again, tiling your head to the side, the bare expanse of your throat open to him. "I trust you."

He crumbled.

He pulled you in, close enough that your heartbeat replaced his, shivers of heat creeping up his spine, your scent clouding his mind.

"Just a taste." He breathed out against your neck, not sure if it was a promise or a plea, his fangs aching with need. Finally, sinking his teeth into soft flesh of your neck.

Everything that was you flooded his senses. He could feel your breath spread through his whole body as you sighed. Blinding light seemed to seep into every inch of his heart and mind, filling himself with you til he almost ceased to exist.

Your heart fluttered desperately, like a bird in a cage. He knew he needed to stop, he had to, but he couldn't. It was too much, he was drowning in you. He felt your hand slip from his as you fell limp in his arms.

He wrenched himself away, breathing heavily, freezing at the sight of you.

You were still and pale, your eyes closed.

No.

No, no, not again. His hands shook as he held you, panic rising in his chest. He couldn't lose you. He pressed his ear to your chest, listening closely.

For several long seconds, he could hear nothing, but then there it was. A faint flutter, barely audible, but there nonetheless. The little bird lived still.

Working quickly, he dragged his teeth across his wrist, pressing it to your lips. Just a few drops, that's all he needed. Not enough to change you, just enough to give your strength back.

For several minutes, it was unnervingly quiet, then a weak gasp as your breath returned to you.

Weak with relief, he collapsed next to you on the floor.

He would find a way to apologize to you once you woke. For now, he was content with listening to your breaths even out, thankful to the Fates for being kind enough to him to let him keep you.

[sokkastyles]

There’s some really bad takes in the tags I saw others point out too on twitter that Zuko is a woobified asshole and narcissistic guy who doesn’t have any empathy like in the beach and only kinda cares ab things similar to his own pain and he’s selfish and wangle was always way more empathetic and understanding especially of Katara and that he is actually a colonizer full of toxic violence & he isn’t a soft person & thats all “made up fanon Zuko” not real Zuko. What are your thoughts?

I have no idea what is going on in the tags but that's...quite a lot, lol.

Let's take this one by one, though.

First of all, I've posted about my thoughts on "woobified asshole" with regards to Zuko before, but I hate the way "woobie" is thrown around as an insult in fandom in general. A woobie is a character that people sympathize with because they suffer. The original concept of a woobie is a character that you want to see comforted, and the term comes from a word for a security blanket. Usually accusations of woobification get thrown around at popular characters who are usually male and usually attractive, and also usually morally complicated in some way, with the implication that the woobified characters is undeserving of such sympathy or that fans only sympathize with them because they are attractive and girls are stupid. I can't think of any reason why it's a problem that a character is woobified that doesn't boil down to misogyny or virtue signaling, and often a combination of both. Otherwise what exactly is the problem here? That people sympathize with Zuko? That they want to see him comforted? He's an abused sixteen year old. The last time I got into discourse about people "woobifying" Zuko, someone literally tried to claim that he shouldn't be treated like a child. Like, excuse me, but Zuko IS a child. One of the most cathartic moments in the series is when the kid literally breaks down in his uncle's arms and people really want to go around sneering about "woobification"? Shut up.

If it's the morality issue, even if Zuko were the worst person in the world I still wouldn't think it was a problem for people to woobify him, but as it is, he has a whole entire redemption arc where he ends the series dedicating the rest of his life to restoring peace to the world. If there's ever a character who deserves a pat on the back, I'd say Zuko is.

narcissistic guy who doesn’t have any empathy like in the beach and only kinda cares ab things similar to his own pain and he’s selfish

I could list everything that Zuko has ever done to disprove this, but I don't actually need to, and such generalizations don't deserve to be taken that seriously anyway. But I do want to remind people that Zuko's establishing character backstory was that he got banished for trying to defend an entire division of soldiers that he had never met nor would ever meet, because it was the right thing to do, because he did not want to see people killed for no reason, and because, as the crown prince, he felt personally responsible to try and use the power he had to help them, as opposed to the powerful adults around him who wanted to use their power for selfish reasons. Zuko stood up to those adults - one of whom was his own terrifying, abusive father - at great cost to himself and his own power and comfort when he didn't need to at all.

After that, Zuko could have completely shut himself off from the rest of the world and only cared about himself, and indeed, he spends a good three years trying to do just that. He does behave selfishly, he grandstands, he throws tantrums, but he also still has that impulse towards empathy and goodness, which he gradually learns to embrace again. His character arc is a triumph of goodness, and anyone who claims to be a voice for morality who is trying to diminish this fact...really isn't making the moral statement they think they are making. What truly good person would rather have more villains in the world than redeemed ones?

As for "The Beach," it is amazing to me that people try to bring up Zuko having an existential crisis and not being a good boyfriend as something to hold against him since the reason he acts like that is because he DOES have empathy and he just can't take being in this shallow world anymore with these people who understand nothing of what he's come to learn in the past three years.

Like, god, Zuko, why don't you pay more attention to your imperialistic girlfriend and making sure she has snacks at a beach party instead of like, worrying about war and poor people, hm??? Or your uncle in prison, or the next time your father might decide to physically harm you. What an asshole. /s

and wangle was always way more empathetic and understanding especially of Katara

I know you mean Aang, but I'm kinda giggling at "wangle," the unsung hero of the story.

way more empathetic and understanding especially of Katara

Oh, you mean like this?

Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice.

Aang: I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge.

Katara: [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe that's what I need! Maybe that's what he deserves!

Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

Which one had more empathy for Katara's pain here, again? Maybe we should ask Katara.

Katara looking at Aang:

Katara looking at Zuko:

I know I'm nitpicking one scene but like, if you really want to play the comparison game, this is a good place to do it, since this episode contrasts Katara's relationship with the two. Otherwise, Katara and Zuko were enemies for much of the series so like, arguing that Aang "had more empathy for her" is kind of pointless and reeks of Nice Guy-ism. You don't get empathy points just for being her friend longer.

he is actually a colonizer full of toxic violence & he isn’t a soft person & thats all “made up fanon Zuko” not real Zuko

I didn't know that the ATLA fandom was so powerful that they were able to manifest a whole two books of this three book series themselves.

I mean, look how this fanon content of Zuko calling out his father and walking away from colonization and imperialism and toxic violence almost looks like the real thing:

And you're right, Zuko being soft was just totally made up by some very dedicated fan artists and fic writers who somehow got their content to air on nickelodeon when Avatar: the Last Airbender vs His Evil Nemesis Colonizer Zuko Who Is Dastardly Trying to Steal His Forever Girl was supposed to be airing.

It's disgusting, really.

[blackkatmagic]

It's just turned monday here and I know I'll forget about it in the morning so... For some reasons (insert furious handwaving) Maul was married off to Jaster to cement an alliance with the Mandalorians. Maul is pissed off but can't afford to be sent back so he's just. Silent and glowering. This is torture for Jaster, who has SO MANY QUESTIONS about the force and can't get a word out of Maul. Jaster learns to echolocate facts about the force by confidently saying things and measuring how wrong they are by how much Maul grinds his teeth. (Maybe he'll hit upon the thing that will make his new husband finally open his mouth and correct him)

Maul is going to make himself a widower in short order.

Murderous, faintly sleep-deprived, entirely fed up with absolutely everything, Maul slouches in his chair, one foot braced on the seat, and glares across the table at his new husband, contemplating whether he can refine his technique enough to actually murder someone with his eyes. Even if he can't, the excess of gold he’s wearing has to be good for something. Jaster won't be able to spout his stupid theories if he’s choking on five kilograms of jewelry.

“Don’t be silly, Arla,” Jaster says, in that particular confident tone that truly drives Maul to the edge of homicide. “Force-users have a long history of translocating themselves across vast distances.” There's a pause, and Maul ignores the dark eyes on him, watchful and amused, and instead contemplates how hard he’d have to throw the delicate curls of gold currently wound around his horns for them to kill a man.

Then, with the conviction of a man who’s never been mauled by a Zabrak for his sheer idiocy, Jaster says, “And besides, everyone knows of their ability to change their shape on a molecular level.”

A vein in Maul's temple probably throbs. He definitelygrinds his teeth, trying desperately to remember that Savage and Feral are both currently under Mother Talzin’s thumb, both sold into their own marriages to bring her power as she plays all sides. Serving the Sith Lord before his untimely demise wasn’t precisely better, but—

At least the safety of his brothers didn’t rest on Maul's ability to tolerate sheer stupidity.

Jaster doesn’t show any signs of recognizing that his lack of intelligence is causing Maul physical pain. He simply sinks back in his chair, swirling his wine in his glass, and smiles at Maul like he’s won something. “No shapeshifting, then?” he asks, amused.

Maul narrows his eyes, tips his head back to look down his nose at Jaster. Thinks, determinedly and a little bit mulishly, of Feral married to the clone army’s Marshal Commander, of Savage wed to a Jedi and forced to play husband to the new Master of the Order. Kit Fisto isn't Obi-Wan Kenobi, but Maul has no faith in a Jedi’s willingness to guard his younger brothers from Talzin. Clearly it falls to Maul to uphold this bargain, at least well enough to establish a safe place for Savage and Feral to flee to when they’re inevitably betrayed.

“Still no words for me, husband?” Jaster asks, still smiling. Maul might think him attractive if he weren’t so frustrating. “You were willing to exchange words at the wedding, but I've rarely been blessed with your opinions since.”

“Jaster,” Arla says, rolling her eyes from further down the table. Deliberately, like she’s making a point, she reaches out, tips more wine out of the pitcher and into her cup, and then downs it. “Please. Some of us are trying to eat here.”

“I'm hardly stopping you,” Jaster protests, entirely innocent. Maul twists one of the rings on his fingers and contemplates how much force he’d need to embed it in the wall above Jaster's head, as a warning. “I was just saying, Maul can finally confirm what I've known for years, which is that as the Force is the manifestation of a vast creature of entropy—”

Maul is going to break a tooth, he’s grinding them so hard. He digs his fingers into the arm of his chair, the black cloth of his formal wear, and fixes the image of Feral in that last moment before parting in his mind. Feral, thin and weak from punishment at the Nightsisters’ hands, being tradedto Commander Cody, passed into the ranks of the vast army made with stolen DNA and set against the Republic. Feral will suffer if Maul breaks this alliance. Talzin made that very clear, and Maul has little enough family as it is. He isn't about to lose his brothers. Not for this.

Jango, slumped down on Arla's other side and looking as though he greatly regrets agreeing to this dinner, groans and buries his face in his hands. “Old man, if you can't even flirt normally—”

“It’s not flirting, it’s science,” Jaster says. “I have a theory. Maul, would you care to help me prove it right?”

Since Maul would much rather attempt to drown Jaster in his soup, he bites his tongue and glares.

Jaster beams. “The Force,” he says, and Maul braces for impact, “is the expression of a vast hive mind beyond the known galaxy—”

It’s worse than Maul thought. He’s going to physically implode if he has to listen to this for one second longer—

“The Force,” Jaster says again, still watching Maul, “is an energy field created by living things.”

Not quite correct, but certainly more so than hive minds, and Maul only rolls his eyes a little. “If you're quite done,” he says darkly, because he knows what Jaster is doing, but that doesn’t exactly make it easier to bear.

Jaster chuckles, leaning across the table to pour Maul more wine. “For now,” he promises. “Though if you're open to a debate on the origins of the Jedi as a cohesive order—ow!”

One of the small, bright red fruits pegs Jaster squarely in the side of the head and bounces off. Not, surprisingly, thrown by Maul, and he blinks, casting a look sideways down the table, to where Jaster's majordomo is veryinterested in the last few spoonfuls of liquid remaining in his bowl. There is, notably, a bowl of the fruits right in front of him.

“Treachery,” Jaster complains, straightening with an offended expression. “Jango—”

“If it had been me, I would have thrown my whole plate at you,” Jango says, raising his hands. “Blame Arla.”

“If it had been me, it would have been a knife,” Arla says, clearly already a little tipsy, and single-mindedly trying to get herself right to drunk.

Well. Maul can appreciate the assistance of an ally, when the circumstances are right. He opens his mouth to take credit—

“Did you know,” Jaster says, perfectly certain, “that each lightsaber’s color represents the phase of the moon under which it was mined, and the resonance of them—”

Maul is going to murder him, delicate political alliances be damned. Feral will understand. With a low growl, he shoves himself up, lunges across the table, and grabs Jaster by the collar of his shirt, hauling them in until they're eye to eye.

“You,” he bites out, “are the most imbecilic manI have ever had the vast misfortune to meet. That is not how lightsabers work.”

“Oh?” Jaster asks with interest, leaning in even as Maul's eyes narrow. He smirks, his hand curling over Maul's, lacing their fingers, and then he deliberately, like a dare, raises Maul's hand to his lips. “Tell me more?”

Maul picks up his soup bowl and coolly upends it over his head. Truly, such a request deserves no other possible response.

[On AO3]

[yourlazykitkat]

Omg I love this question (warning: long post)

The aesthetic: there's a delicious dynamic between fire & shadow, one which ties into the characters more than just "opposites attract". Azriel who has been crippled by his fear of fire for centuries learns to embrace its searing, all-consuming nature, and then Eris, who works alone in shadows to scheme against his father- perhaps finally finding an ally, someone to trust, in those same shadows. I personally love overthinking this simple aesthetic as a metaphor for codependency (fire needs oxygen and Azriel might have choking kink i.e the High Lord Meeting/ fire burns brightest the darker it is/you can't have a shadow without fire or light)

Their perceptions of love: Azriel is a romantic but also a messy bitch (affectionate). He wants desperately for love and a mate- pining for Mor for 500 years, desiring someone else' mate, the whole necklace debacle. (I eat this drama up) He loves a good damsel in distress- Mor, Elain, Gwyn. He loves beautiful people, people are resilient despite the traumas of their bodies. The biggest slap in the face for him would be to realize he's mated to Eris because of his own prejudices, animosities and toxic masculinity. It would be so interesting for him as a character to have his delusional fantasy of romance shattered only to learn as he falls in love that Eris always held the resilience that he's attracted to. It also lets him work through his own self-hatred, especially through the lens of toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia. Eris, on the other hand, has a more sterile relationship with love (this is my interpretation of what we know). I think the prospect of love excites him but is inseparable from ideas of marriage and politics. His parents' loveless and political marriage, and his own engagements/proposals to Mor and Nesta- reinforce that he respects power and wants a marriage that will allow both him and his partner to thrive in their own power/autonomy, unlike his parents. The taste of rejection perhaps has left him feeling unworthy of love similarly to Azriel but I think what he truly wants is to love selfishly without punishment. This really resonates with the community that headcanon Eris as a closeted queer and Azriel is the antithesis of who Eris is supposed to marry/love: a Lesser Fae, a powerful man, from a rival (sometimes enemy) court. There's also this insecurity as Eris is fully aware of Azriel's hatred of him and how he doesn't fit what Azriel wants either. This could be something really wholesome they both overcome together.

For the love of god, can these mates or pairings please be similar in age. Please!!! 5 centuries is a big deal!!!

The Awkward Family Dinners: Both of them are family people. (I need Eris to be.) Them getting together creates really interesting dynamics within their respective families: sorry Mor I fell in love with the guy who kinda ditched you, sup Lucien my mating gift for you is that you don't need to worry about this other dude trying to steal you mate, hey dad (buried six feet under) this is my boyfriend that I love and who you would hate, mum please like him- i know i tried to kill/he tried to kill me. This is here because I think it's funny.

The political intrigue: God, I just want to visit the Autumn court and finally sink my teeth into some real courtly drama. I just want to see Azriel finally do his spy shit, use his shadowsinging abilities. Just the image of them working together, going through that classic enemies to lovers arc while they plot to kill Beron and/or Koschei- god please. Give me the ballrooms, the shady corners and code only they understand, the secret, forbidden relationship that happens in the moment and they know will have to end once they finish their objective.

They're both mama boys allegedly. And this isn't a reason I use to justify why I ship characters but I still think it's important to point out, they have a lot in common especially shared trauma of abusive households (fathers and brothers).

This is my personal opinion but I need Azriel to get out of the Night Court/ IC desperately. He's the only original IC member (along with Nesta) I really care about and I personally feel that he's being suffocated there even if he loves his family. While I like Elriel and Gwynriel in some ways, neither of them gets him out of the Night Court. He's not challenged or pushed to change/ grow. I think it's pretty well understood among the fans that Azriel is still extremely traumatized and has a lot of healing to do compared to other IC members and I think an interesting way for him to heal is to leave the Night Court where he hasn't healed or really changed in 500 years. Azris drags him out of the Night Court and allows us to explore a completely different court, one we haven't seen yet! One of my favorite things about Azriel's character is how he's a subservient guard dog. It's extremely unhealthy and toxic. He has always been trapped in a hierarchy of power, forced by Rhys' father at a young age and continued by choice to support Rhys. Azriel finds comfort in this position because it lets him be blind to his own morality and the consequences of his actions. It's also reflective of his self-esteem issues- how he's a tireless workaholic and loyal to the fault because he needs to pay Rhys back for his kindness. With Azris, there's this fascinating moment that being with Eris means leaving a place of subservience and entering a position of power as a High Lord's mate/partner. This is an example of Azriel's character growing out of the paralysis he's been haunted by.

Scars: I think something that Eris envys Azriel for his how bravely and openly he wears his scars (similarly to Lucien). While I don't think Cassian's comment at the end of ACOSF that Eris is a coward completely rings true, I do think it hits him hard. He's always dressed up looking fine but he's always hiding something. Scars from Beron's abuse, his emotions or his own ambitions. I think just like Azriel taught Feyre how to fly despite her fear of falling, Azriel could help Eris learn how to be vulnerable and open about certain parts of himself.

Some canon things: Azriel is characterised as the quiet, always in control character but oop- someone can't seem to control themselves around a certain redhead. Eris always seems to be on the lookout to pull azriel's pigtails and can always find him (okay it was like twice, let a girl dream).

An actual enemies to lovers arc!!!

I just want Eris to steal one of Rhys' many murderwives that he does not appreciate.

The true reason: I think Azriel needs to get fucked for his own good

I’m seriously trying to understand how Azris became so popular. Like what sparked it? Azriel literally launching himself at Eris at the High Lord meeting? Eris catching him spying? What? lol it’s one of the crackships that makes the least sense. Can someone who ships it tell me why?

[happyselves]

Law of Attraction { Lando Norris x reader }

Disclamer : Swearing !!!

It was a busy weekend for the Mclaren team, they were about to get associated with a new partner. It was a huge contract and it was your first big deal. Mclaren just hired you, you were on probation before your contract will be real. You couldn’t mess up, you needed this job, needed to make your proof. You just got your law degree and it was your first job as a lawyer and you got lucky that you found yourself working as a Mclaren F1 Team new attorney.

This contract was important for both parties and it would go to the press as well. You were set to make your client sign during the next grand prix weekend and it was this weekend.

You spend hours and hours in your office reading the partner offer but something was bugging you and you couldn’t put your finger on it . You had to fly this afternoon to join all the team in Austria and you were starting to feel stress because you knew you had to put that deal on your boss table for him to sign, but that it wasn’t a good one and that we would basically get screw over by some clause or something, you knew it in your guts, you just need to find which pieces of puzzle you were missing. If the partner attorney thought he could easily screw you over like this because you were in your first year of work, he was wrong. You might be a newbie but one thing your mentor had taught you was to never show your weakness. That’s why you spend all night writing a new contract, word by word like the original, to find that little detail and you end up finding it. You were ehausted and tomorrow was the signing day, but now you were ready to show that we can’t fuck you over easily and that nobody should ever underestimated you. That was probably why mister Brown had give you the job, hearing things from is old attorney and your mentor was one thing, but proving how worth of the job you were is another and it will be soon be your moment of glory, but you couldn’t celebrate victory to soon, another thing you mentor had teach you.

Today was the day of the signing, you were stressed, you didn’t know how this would turn out. You were scared to have made a mistake and the lack of sleep was starting to rub on you. You had your plan in your mind, letting the other party think they had the upper hand and not tell them you had found the hair in the soup that will make your client profit and not lose all his money. It was important for you to not show your whole game to the adversary, but let him build his ego before you put that last card that will make you win the whole game in hand.

To make it official, Mclaren had to make the deal in their motorhome, Mister Brown wanted his two drivers to be there with him while signing as well because it was an important partnership for the whole team. It will be your first time seeing them since you entered the company, you were based in the factory back in Woking, but never had met any of them. You were quite intimidated, but the job was coming before anything else, no matter how many hours you spend in your free time to search about these two drivers, focusing on one in particular because he was around your age and something was telling you that the two of you were somewhat alike in certain ways of your life. You would lie to yourself if you didn’t find him attractive as well, but your personal preference when it comes to man can’t interfere with your work, it was your first and most important rule in your code of conduct you had set yourself on when you started studying law.

You arrive early in the paddock, hoping to visit around and discover this whole new world that you knew nothing about. You gotta visit the garage of your team, mechanics were happy to explain to you one thing or two, having a silent competition between them for the one that will have the testosterone level at his highness and find a way to make you fall for them. You already know their little trick going to law school with men, nothing could surprise you anymore. You knew you were pretty or had a little something more perhaps, but seeing gentlemans thinking the same was actually really flattering. After this pleasant little escapade, you find yourself walking the stairs of the Mclaren motorhome reading to meet everyone in the meeting room. You were the last one to enter the room, but you could give yourself the right to make an entrance after the thing you discovered during your sleepless night of searching dirt on the company represented by the douchebag sitting on the opposite side of the table. By his face you knew this man was an asshole and that it wasn’t his first rodeo and you were ready to put a stop into his little illegal business.

However when your eyes meet the drivers, especially the youngest one, your heart skips a bit, before you turn yourself and find your boss judging your rather late presence. You quickly apologize with a nod of the head before inviting them all to sit around the table and start the meeting.

Everything was going smoothly, everyone was happy, except you. You already hated what you were about to do,but you had to act fast otherwise it will be too late and the papers would be signed in front of your eyes.

“ Excuse me, I have one more question before we head toward the signature. “ You interrupted the conversation, looking at your boss, waiting for his approval to continue. After all you were only doing your job to assure everything is well covered, he couldn’t argue on that. The opposite camp didn’t have any objection for you to give a go to your wonder, thinking it would be innocent coming from a young lawyer that is still learning about the job. He made a gesture toward you, avoiding getting over this.

“ Well, mister Backfield, without due respect I was wondering why you were so eager to help our company, I did some research, you know. Usually you are investing in smaller businesses, which will lower profit. Why show the Mclaren F1 Team when it's new territory for you ? “

And action, you knew that every word that was about to leave this man’s mouth would only be total lies, but he didn’t know that. You had the upper hand by far and you won’t give him the satisfaction to put down this team and family.

And he tried hard to explain, save his case, defend himself and if you were naive you would have believed the guy but you weren't and could give a shit about his speech.

" Well I'm afraid I can't let this go on further. "

Everyone around the table was stunted, not knowing what to say. Mister Brown was reading to make you go before you heard him a piece of paper and that's when his face changed and he let you continue.

" You see Mister Backfield, you thought you could screw us over and try to go fish at a bigger price. Unfortunately for you I find out who you truly are. A piece of garbage buying company when they must need it, making them believe you will help them develop until somehow by some miracle they are forced to declare bankruptcy a couple years ago and then you buy them twice the price they truly worth before miraculously going back on the high to sell them three times the price. I don't know you but I call that stealing and corruption and I'm not ready to let my company get fucked over by an asshole like you so you can take you goddamn deal, walk away from here and never show your face around us again or I can talk to the press and trust me they are going to love it. One thing for sure is that if it happens I might win big and no negotiation put on the table will make me give you your money back. " You threw him middle fingers as you stood up and showed him the door.

Everyone was so shocked they couldn't speak, not because of the revelation in itself but how you had handled the whole situation like a true boss, with confidence and pride.

Someone in the room was even more impressed and couldn't even close his mouth, clearly admiring you. If you knew better you would say that right there Lando Norris was falling in love with you and if that wasn't boasting your ego then you didn't know what will.

Mr Brown was the first one to come to you as you all watched the security guys escorting Mr Backfield out of the paddock. He was about to say something but the rush of adrenaline was making you bold and you beat him to it.

" I am so sorry mister Brown I know I should have informed you before the meeting, but honestly I wasn't even sure before entering in that room that my information was right and I only received the confirmation a minute before being here, explaining why I was late. Truly I'm sorry if I put your entire team in a difficult position, I will try to find the best replacement for you I promise you. " You were almost out of breath as you finish you log apologize but realize soon enough that it didn't really matter here.

" I am impressed with you, first month on the job and you are already making yourself irreplaceable, you shouldn't have to apologize and I certainly should be thanking you and giving you a raise. Your mentor was right to gush about you. You are someone else." Proud could be seen in his eyes and his smile couldn't leave his face as he hugged you awkwardly saying thank you one more time before leaving and going back to the garage with Daniel who made sure to wink at you and make a big thumbs up at you before heading out.

However, someone hadn't left his seat, Lando. You thought he was just going to stay there and ignore you but as you were opening the door he smashed it back close behind you.

" I observed you all weekend, wondering why such a little fragile person was headlining such a big deal like this but it turns out I was wrong, never judge a book by it's cover. I'm learning it the hard way. "

You turn to face him ready to get back at him but his lips on you made you shut up. He pushes you against that door again, putting his hands on your lower back. At first you were confused as to why he was kissing but eventually you just stopped resisting and let yourself enjoy the moment. You had a thing for him and you were now sure that these weird eye contacts weren't that innocent. He had a thing for you too.

His kiss could make you reach the roof, you never felt something like that before, not that you had much experience, he knew exactly what would make you moan into his lips and lose balance so he could tighten the grip around you. You needed air but you would not allow it to yourself, you wanted more, you wanted him.

The adrenaline in your system was still pumping through your veins and you couldn't really think straight, your hands found the back of his head, playing with his loose locks of hair. You were holding on for dear life on this ride despite the fact you barely knew the guy.

Lando ends up breaking it up and you realise you were hooked around him as he put you down on your feet again.

" Just for the record, what you did before was so fucking hot that I would gladly be a criminal if that means you would be the one to put me in jail. "

He made you laugh, you were gasping for air, messy hair, swallow lips and redness on the cheeks, no speaking of your clothes being runned and unfolding and your shoes not even on your feet anymore. Everyone knows what they say about aan that can make a woman laugh and you wouldn't argue on that, not with him anyway.

Now that you had a taste of Lando, you wanted more, so much more and by the look on his eyes he was willing to explore the " more " area with you too.

" Okay that was unexpected, but the good kind, so here's what we're going to do. You will knock twice on my door at 23pm tonight, room 344, not a minute before and not a minute after, hope you know what punctuality is because you won't get a second chance. " You gathered all your things, trying to clean yourself to make it look like nothing had happened before you caught Lando's chin in your palm.

" Hope you will have a good defense, because tonight is going to be the trial of your life " You blow him a kiss before leaving his sight, a pride face drawing on you.

MASTERLIST

[qianinterprises]

WayV Reaction: finding out their S/O has Borderline Personality Disorder

Pairing(s): WayV x Reader Genre: angst, fluff Warnings: mention of mental health, depression, anxiety, symptom's included in BPD. Trigger Warnings: depression, anxiety, hostility, mention's of self-harm, self-doubt, low self-image Word Count: 3.9k

Author's Notes: I'll be honest and say that I had to research Borderline Personality Disorder. I knew what it was/had heard of it before, but in order to write something accurate, I tried to educate myself. If you believe that you have BPD, please don't be afraid to go to a doctor or a trusted friend/family member. Your mental health is important.

Author's Note 2.0: I also want to mention that (as per earlier request), I am also working on a YangYang fic that features a reader with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm not entirely sure when it will be posted (soon hopefully), but it is in my WIP's.

Author's Note 2.0: Kun's is a little different, I apologize for the difference and the shortness. Tagging:@treasuretaeil

Kun:

Kun was in the middle of dance practice when his phone began to ring. At first, he let it go to voicemail, but by the third ring, Ten paused the music and Kun grabbed his phone out of his coat pocket, expecting to see your name popping up on the screen. You were at home today after a particularly rough week at work that had left you feeling spent. Kun longed to be home with you, holding you tight in his embrace. As his eyes met your next door neighbor's name on his phone screen, his stomach dropped. Mrs. Huang only called when it was really serious. "Hello?" he asked into the receiver. "Oh thank goodness!" she cried, voice laced with anxiety enducing agitation. "What's wrong?" "It's (y/n)! They've brought me five big tins of muffins! I can't possibly eat all of these! And they've gone to the store twice with ingredients! I think something's wrong! Kun sighed. This morning, you had been so happy. You were practically singing to the birds. He knew it wouldn't last though, especially with the week you'd had. "I'll be there soon!" Kun left practice without another word and when he got home, he found you in the kitchen, covered in flour, vigorously mixing a creamy liquid in one of your metal mixing bowls. The kitchen was covered in ingredients; flour puffed on the counters and floor, broken egg shells on the table, a half empty measuring cup of milk teetering on top of the fridge. It was bad this time. Kun knew you had borderline personality disorder. It had been something you'd told him in the beginnings of your relationship. He had seen you at your worst, and at your best, but it still broke his heart every time he witnessed you at a breaking point. "(y/n)?" You paused in your vigorous mixing, eyes glancing up to meet his. He didn't say anything, eyes locked on yours, but his eyes held no pity. Instead, they held pure, unfiltered love that had you putting the whisk aside. "Do you love me?" you whispered. A small wisp of a smile reflected across his face as he crossed the room, arms wrapping around your body. "More than anything," he whispered.

Ten:

You and Ten had only been together for a short amount of time; three months to be exact. It was an exhilarating three months. Time you wouldn't give for anything in the world, even though you didn't get to see each other often with Ten's very busy schedule. However, after the "Kick Back" album released, WayV was allowed to take a break as SM turned their attention to the scheduled release of NCT Dream's first album. Normally, Ten would then be whisked away for some SuperM promotion, but with Baekhyun's enlistment, SuperM was also allowed to take a break as the company decided what to do. Which ultimately meant you got to spend more time with your boyfriend, which, most would deem as a good thing and, you were happy he was there, however, it became a lot harder to hide your little secret from him. Your best friend, Kun, had introduced you to Ten (and the rest of the members), when Kun officially became a member of NCT. Kun and Ten had immediately hit it off as friends, which meant you also spent a lot of time with Ten, thus leading to a blossoming friendship and later attraction. So Ten lying in your bed snoring softly wasn't that far of a stretch from a common day encounter. The difference was, today, you didn't feel like yourself. Being in a friendship with Ten meant that, yes, you saw him often, but not often enough that you couldn't keep parts of yourself private. Which is exactly what you did, especially as your tiny crush on Ten grew into something mutual, eventually leading to a relationship. The truth you were so afraid of revealing was your disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder. A disorder you'd been diagnosed with since you were a your teenager. You'd been teased and bullied for it when a classmate you'd once called a friend announced your disorder to the entire school. This, in turn, had terrified you of ever telling anyone, which you had gotten away with. Ten didn't know and, if you had it your way, he'd never know. He was an idol. What did he need with a girlfriend with this disorder. However, with him hanging around a lot... "Hey? What's wrong?" Ten's voice snapped you from your thoughts. You'd been so distracted you hadn't realized his soft snoring had ceased. "Nothing," you said softly. His lips pursed, perplexed as he softly reached a hand up to brush across your cheek, something he'd done several times. But today, you didn't want it. You shied away from his hand, curling yourself up on the opposite side of the bed, cursing yourself for acting different than usual, but you couldn't help it. Ten didn't bat an eye. He simply gave you a soft smile and sat up in the large bed, but he didn't try to touch you again. "Feeling sad today?" he asked. You nodded meekly. "Would you like to talk about it?" he asked. You paused for a moment to think it over. You truly didn't. You wished you could keep it a secret forever, because Ten might leave you. But you also knew that the stress was taking it's toll on you. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder..." you whispered. He didn't say anything at first and you were preparing yourself for him to call you a freak and leave. Instead, he stretched his arm out and softly wrapped his pinky around yours. "I don't know much about it. But I promise I will learn," he whispered. Tears brimmed your eyes because finally, someone wasn't going to leave you.

WinWin:

You had never been much of a touchy person. Holding hands was one thing, and even then, something you weren't wholly comfortable with, but hugging was completely different. You didn't care much for hugs, especially from complete strangers that often found you rude for rejecting their hug. You barely even hugged your own family, let alone a total stranger. This was possibly what spurred on your relationship with Sicheng who, also didn't care much for physical affection, despite the fact the other members of NCT practically drowned him in it. Your relationship was just... different. At least in the minds of society because you didn't cuddle against Sicheng's chest constantly or plop down on his lap just because he was sitting down. Instead, you preferred wrapping your pinky around his or draping one of his sweaters over your shoulders. This worked for the two of you though others found it strange. However, there was an anomaly that Sicheng, though you had been together for a little over two years, had no idea about. This anomaly included the fact that sometimes, you liked hugs. Sometimes, all you wanted to do was drape yourself over your boyfriends lap and let him hold you until your mind screamed at you for the overload of affection. Sometimes you wanted him to wrap his arms around you in bed and fall asleep with you on his chest. That's what happens when you have Borderline Personality Disorder, and it wouldn't have been that big of a deal if Sicheng had known, but he didn't. It started out you longing to keep it a secret in the early days of your relationship. It wasn't something you advertised very often. However, as your relationship progressed, you knew you should have told him, but as five months turned into six, it became a crushing weight of guilt for not telling him in the beginning. Sicheng had already invested a lot of time and love in the relationship when you had not been wholly honest with him. And the more time that passed, the harder it was for you to get the words out. At this point, it wasn't even your fear of rejection because of the disorder, it was a nagging fear that your dishonesty about the disorder would drive him away from you. That would truly be a crushing point. However, as Sicheng began spending more nights at your apartment, it was getting increasingly harder to hide, especially as your mood dropped or when you suddenly began to crave affection. Times like today. The moment you'd rolled out of bed, you knew you needed some type of affection, but as Sicheng made no advance to give it to you throughout the day, your mood dropped. It really wasn't his fault. He had no idea how you were feeling, but as you finally had had enough and wrapped your arms around him from behind while he was washing the dishes after dinner, you felt him stiffen before grabbing a towel to dry his hands. "What's up with you today?" The question was an honest one, but it still felt as though you were making him uncomfortable by touching him. As your arms slacked from around him, a tear sprang to your eye but you were quick to wipe it away as he turned to face you. "I need to tell you something..." Your voice was wavering. You had no idea how he would respond. He nodded for you to continue, one of his hands gently taking hold of yours, playing with your fingers as a soft sense of relief washed through you. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder." His once blank face morphed into one of confusion. "What's that?" he asked tentatively. You sighed. You had been expecting the question but that didn't make it any easier to define. "Its like having mood swings. One day I feel happy the other sad... Sometimes anti-hugs, sometimes super affectionate." You could tell he was still confused, but as he nodded and wrapped his arms around your body, drawing you against his tall frame, you let out a shuddered breath, body relaxing against him.

Lucas:

Books were never Yukhei's strong suit. He preferred numbers and basic information plotted out clearly in front of him. Books were too all over the place with too much information. He wished they could be like websites that gave him the briefest of explanations with a "read more" feature. Yet here he was, flipping through slightly crinkled pages because he wanted to truly understand, and books were always credited with having the most information. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder," you had explained earlier that day when you had ducked out of the way of one of his mega bear hugs and proceeded to slump your shoulders and beg him to give you time alone. You'd locked yourself in your shared bedroom after that and, although you had texted him to apologize for your behavior, you added that today was just an off day, your disorder really affecting your mood. "Well how can I help?" he had asked. It was your response that prompted him here, pouring over books in the local library hoping to find anything that would help him understand Borderline Personality Disorder in the best way possible. As he flipped through pages and learned, he had begun to feel several different emotions. On one end, he felt sorry that you'd had to go through the disorder alone, but on the other, he questioned why you'd never told him, even after a year of being together. However, a big part of him wondered if maybe you had been telling him, just without words, especially because you'd never tried to hide any of your mood swings. He'd just always assumed you were on your period. As the hours ticked away, Yukhei's eyes remained glued to the startlingly dry books stacked up around him, but as he learned more about the disorder and, by default, more about you, he couldn't seem to stop. At least not until his phone vibrated in his pocket and, as he fished it out, your smiling face met his eyes. He answered the facetime request and gave you a tired smile that quickly morphed into concern when he noticed your bloodshot eyes. "Baby? What's wrong? Did something happen?" "My boyfriend left me! That's what happened!" Were you... pouting? "I didn't leave baby, I'm at the library." Confusion flashed across your face. "Why?" "To learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder." A giggle erupted from your lips and Yukhei sure was glad to hear it, especially after reading texts about BPD leading to depression. "Why didn't you just google it?" His mouth gaped open as he dramatically clutched his chest. "Googling something so important in my significant other's life?! That's scandalous! I should do enough research to write my own 20-page essay!" This time, it was a full blown laugh. "You're a dork!" "I'm your dork!" "Well come home, dork! There's a lot we have to discuss!" Your smiling face alleviated any fears that may have been swirling around Yukhei's chest. With a nod, he slammed a book shut so hard it send a loud, slamming bang throughout the library, prompting nasty looks sent his way. Sheepishly, he waved them off and stood up. "I'll be home soon," he promised, blowing you a kiss before hanging up. Yukhei had taken the hastily thrown news a lot better than you'd expected. You knew he couldn't have learned everything, specifically because it varied person to person, but you knew that he would be there for you, even on your bad days. And that was all you could ask for.

Xiaojun:

Dejun was incredibly perceptive, even if he was incredibly dumb sometimes. He could tell when you weren't quite feeling yourself, even though he often didn't know what was causing it. It was at those times that he did everything he could to put a smile back on your face and make you feel "normal" again. He didn't understand how counter productive that actually was. It was really your fault. You were the one keeping secrets, but as the smile fell from your face the second Dejun traded the couch for the shower, you couldn't help but think that maybe he simply preferred you to be happy rather than deal with you when you weren't. Somewhere in the back of your head, you knew he was just doing what he thought would help, but now, especially in your state of mind, you couldn't shake the aching feeling in your head. "Hey, are there towels- are you crying?" Dejun's voice yanked you out of your thoughts and you brought your hands to your cheeks, rapidly trying to wipe away the clear droplets painting your face, but it was too late. Dejun had already seen. He was shirtless when he perched on the couch beside you, face etched in concern. He opened his mouth, likely to retort off some lame dad joke or tell you some funny story you'd heard a thousand times. "Can you not?" You hadn't meant to snap. The words had simply flown out before you'd had the chance to them. His face fell into a pout that you knew you often fell for, but today, it only upset you more. "Stop Dejun!" The pout fell away. "Stop what? I'm not doing anything!" "You're trying to make me smile!" He blinked, staring at you for a moment. "That's a bad thing?!" You sighed, slumping against the couch cushions, resigning yourself to the fact that he didn't understand. Then again, you didn't let him understand. "Just tell me why I'm upsetting you," he begged, all traces of bad humor gone, replaced with sincerity. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder! My mood fluctuates! And when you try to make me smile when I'm sad or mad makes me feel like you don't like me when I'm not always happy. But I can't always be happy." He stared at you in shock for a moment, mouth opening and closing as if he didn't know how to respond. An appropriate response, you supposed. You'd been friends for a while now and dating for several months, yet this was the first time you'd told him. You were about to get up from the couch, sighing as he didn't respond after several minutes, when he placed a hand on your thigh to stop you. "Why didn't you tell me?" You shrugged. It wasn't that simple. "Can you tell me the best ways to comfort you?" Again, you shrugged. A sigh released from his mouth and your head hung low. "I'm going to do some research. As your boyfriend, I want to make sure I'm making you feel better, not worse. So, while I'm doing that, I also need you to tell me if something I'm doing is making you feel worse. Can you do that for me?" His words were sincere, his intentions true. Another tear fell from your eye, dropping against your cheek, but a smile broke out across your face. "Thank you for caring," you whispered. He pulled you onto his lap and pressed a soft kiss to the nape of your neck. "Always."

Hendery:

Waking up this morning had been such a struggle, even as the delightful scent of your boyfriends cooking wafted under the cracks of the door, greeting you. Usually, this would rouse you from your slumber, prompting you to creep into the kitchen and sneak a taste of the delightful breakfast. Today, however, you rolled over in the blankets and pulled the duvet over your head. Today was a lay in bed day, you just hoped your boyfriend would accept that. "Come on sleepy head! It's time to wake up!" Kunhang's annoyingly chipper voice spouted, pulling you from the confines of sleep in a less pleasant way. "No," you groaned, rolling over, burying your face deeper into the pillow. "Come on! Breakfast is ready!" He pulled the blankets off your body and you let out a loud hiss, eyes turning to bore into him. "I said no!" He dropped the blanket and backed off, lifting his hands in surrender, but you could tell he had questions. You never acted like this. "What's wrong?" You grunted, not responding, turning away from him, but he wasn't having it. "Yah! I asked you a question!" he pouted at being ignored. A growl whipped it's way from your throat. "Go look up BPD," you snapped. You could tell that he had more questions, but, after a long moment, he seemed to think better of asking them and, instead, made his way out of the room, leaving you to fall back asleep. It had to have been a few hours later when you were waking up on your own this time, the anger you had felt earlier completely gone now, replaced with your normal, chipper self. You turned over to look at Kunhang's side, releasing he wasn't there and the memories came flooding back to you along with a strong wave of guilt. You shouldn't have treated Kunhang the way you did. There was nothing out of the ordinary with the way he'd reacted to your sleeping for. With a sigh, you threw your legs over the side of the bed and stood up, padding over the floors to the door. You made your way out of the bedroom and down the hall, finding Kunhang sitting on the couch, television with the volume turned down, playing some movie he didn't look too interested in. As the floor creaked slightly under your feet, his attention shifted from the television to you and he was quick to shut off the device. "How are you feeling?" he asked. Your heart dropped into your stomach. Had you really affected him? "I'm sorry for how I reacted..." you mumbled. A sigh rolled past his lips as he patted the couch next to him. You made your way to him, flopping beside him, but keeping your distance, at least until he pulled you against his side. "I understand why you did after looking up Borderinel Personality Disorder," he said. "But you couldn't have expected me to know without knowing." With a nod, you hung your head. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I thought you wouldn't like me if you knew I had a disorder..." you mumbled. Saying it out loud, it felt ridiculous. You knew he loved you. The fact that he waited for you to wake up even after how you'd treated him proved that. But it had been a fear nevertheless. "Now that I know, I can help you rather than making things worse. But in the future, please let me know. I hated watching you so upset without knowing how to help." You leaned against him, burying your face in his chest as you nodded.

YangYang:

(full fic coming soon) YangYang's youth was what truly scared you the most. He still had so much to learn. He was so naive, about some things at least. He could make you feel so good, so loved, when he'd hold you in his arms and kiss your head or when he threw himself across your lap and begged to be pet. You were scared that the second he knew the truth about you, he'd leave, or worse, treat you differently. Your older brother, Kun, had advised you to just be honest with him. To let him know when you had bad days. Yet, here you were, hiding out in your brothers bed, hoping practice would run late so YangYang wouldn't see your crestfallen face. It seemed luck wasn't on your side that day, not entirely anyway, because the door to the room opened and Kun walked in half shirtless, belt unbuckled. "Please don't strip anymore," you'd begged. The boy nearly jumped out of his skin at your words. "(y/n)?! What are you doing here?!" "I missed Yang..." "So why didn't you come to practice? You know you're welcome." Your silence was his answer and he sighed, sliding on another, not sweat-soaked shirt, and sat on the bed beside you, reaching out to gently stroke your arm. "You really should tell him," he whispered. "But what if he rejects me?" "He won't. Sis, I know him. He's not like some dirtbags you've dated in the past. And he might just be able to help you better than I can," he whispered. You knew he was right. He was always right (as annoying as it was). "Will you send him here? I don't want to get out of bed..." "Of course," he said, patting your arm one more time before getting out of bed and making his way out of the room. It was a few minutes later when a sweaty YangYang walked in, searching for your figure before sitting down beside you on Kun's bed. "You wanted to see me?" he asked. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder..." The words just rushed out before you could stop them, but you were thankful. This saved you from yourself. For a long moment, YangYang didn't say anything and you were beginning to think Kun had been wrong for once. "So that's why Kun had me do all that research..." Ok, that definitely wasn't what you were expecting. "Not long after we started dating, Kun made me do all this research on BPD. He even quizzed me once a week! I just assumed it was punishment for dating his sister!" A loud laugh fell past your lips. That was absolutely something Kun would do!

"Are you mad I didn't tell you?" you asked.

"Well, why didn't you?"

"I was afraid you'd leave me like my exes..."

"Then yes, I'm mad!" he said.

Your face dropped.

"I'm sorry..."

"I'll just have to teach you a lesson!"

With that, he threw himself on top of you, pressing his sweaty clothes against you as you shrieked, attempting to get away.

"Guys... not on my bed..."

[domosakis]

[TARO-222] insatiable, pure love!

★ this is inspired by a hentai that was turned into a porn LOL i pretty much just rewrote it the whole first half but then i get bored of it and made it my own story at the end so sorry if its confusing but i spent a lot of time on it so i hope you like it!! ♡

✭ words: 1.9k !! cw: extreme dubcon, borderline noncon, i can't tell who is insane in this story, toxic relationship, assault, public sex, reader is feminized, lmk if i forgot smth omg im so sorry

‘i didn’t really want to do it… at the beginning.’

at least shotaro tells himself that, whether it’s true or not. he took the train home after practice like always but you were there. you looked so cute in your uniform but he couldn’t help but notice how sensual your body made you look. plaid skirt barely reaching the top of your thighs and a thin white blouse that might as well have been made with tissue.

he was addicted as soon as he saw you. he felt the need to go home right away, thoughts of making you scream plaguing his mind. stress, deadlines, the pressure of his academy… he deserved a little happiness right?

suddenly the train stopped and shotaro took the opportunity to dramatically fall towards you, your back against his. his hand pressed against your ass, moving your skirt up showing your panties to anyone who looked your way.

his inner monologue was just a stream of excuses he made to keep touching you. so soft… and even though he knows it’s not right he doesn’t make even an attempt to stop.

‘again… another idiot.’

you wondered how far he would go today, after all you did need to get home and start preparing dinner. you didn’t resist instead letting your mind wander to your daily chores and responsibilities, you just hoped your stop came soon.

suddenly you were yanked out of your thoughts, your body carelessly being tossed into the position he wanted and his hands came to grab at your breasts. he wasn’t gentle at all in the way he handled you but at least he wasn’t being completely rude. you’d let him do what he wanted as long as he stayed quiet. he’s not really hurting me like the others so what’s the worst that could happen?

shotaro let himself get brave, after all you weren’t denying him. if anything you were making it too easy. he let his hand slip under your panties to feel your cunt directly. he only grew more confident when he felt how wet you were.

you didn’t understand why you felt this way, you could say it was your body’s natural reaction but then how did you end up with this stranger in the love hotel down the street?

strange men doing what they wanted to you wasn't what you would call a foreign experience. maybe it was because you didn’t dress all that modestly, maybe it was your body or maybe you were just an easy target. whatever it was you definitely weren’t able to defend yourself from it and you ended up in a lot of rough situations.

this felt different though. okay sure so maybe he still molested you on the train without any communication but… he looked your age, and cute, and he didn’t call you mean names or hit you, and he even took you to this nice hotel instead of taking you against the urinal in a seedy bathroom!

maybe you needed to raise your standards.

whatever. it was too late now, this man (whose name you still didn’t now) had you laid underneath him, playing with your body however he wanted and you got the slight feeling he hadn’t touched anybody else in awhile at least. he took his time massaging your tits and all you could do was writhe beneath him.

“do you feel good?” shotaro asked you once he had your top half completely bare. you didn’t answer and turned your head to the side to avoid his gaze.

“no? your nipples are so hard though…” it was true your body was responding to everything he did but you didn’t want him to know that. still, it didn’t do much to deter him and suddenly his hands reached to pin yours next to your head, his mouth attaching itself to your breast.

you couldn’t help but moan out then, your hips bucking to meet his. your body had never been played with like this before and you needed more. he complimented your body and it made your heart swell in a twisted way.

“fuck. why are you so wet?” he laughed at you but you were distracted by his fingers playing with your clothed clit.

“you’re so cute, i need to see more.” you could barely see only feeling him spread your legs apart and taking off your panties roughly leaving only your skirt bunched around your waist. and before you knew it he was fucking into you.

‘this can’t be bad right?’ shotaro thought. ‘they’re so wet they must be enjoying this’

he could barely hold himself back grabbing onto the skirt around you and using it to fuck his dick into you harder. his thrusts were fast and unrelenting and you tried to say no but nothing comprehensible came out of your mouth.

you could already feel him deep within you and you thought you would cry once he pushed your leg to your chest, taking you sideways.

“no i can’t! i can’t!” you managed to cry out but it didn’t matter anyways, if anything it felt like it made him go harder. he let himself stay deep inside you for a bit, enjoying the way your body twitched around him before flipping you onto your stomach.

he took his time teasing you, rubbing the head of his cock against your cunt until he finally listened to you begging him to stop. you were so far gone at that point only able to focus on the feeling of his cock rubbing against your walls. it was almost painful how fast he rubbed against you but his tip was reaching inside you so well.

you almost felt yourself losing consciousness before he pulled out, cumming across your tits and letting some hit your face. your body wouldn’t stop twitching and you realized you had cum as well, the feeling of your pussy clenching around nothing making you feel outrageously empty.

you expected to open your eyes to an empty room, left alone to clean yourself up and get home. instead you were very surprised to see the same man who had fucked you to the edge on his knees, his hands together begging for forgiveness.

“i’m so sorry! please forgive me!” you could hear him mumbling to himself and you almost felt bad for him.

“i’m so terrible, and i didn’t even use a condom… if you get pregnant… i’m so sorry!”

you had quite literally never been in this situation before and you were afraid the man was about to burst into tears.

“uhm… it doesn’t matter really.” you said before looking away. now shotaro was taken aback so you kept going before he could say anything.

“well it does matter, you shouldn’t assault girls but uhm…” you had no idea how to explain this.

“truthfully it’s really easy for me to be attracted to you, and i’ve gone through a lot worse…” you started going into detail about your past experiences and shotaro was growing increasingly confused and worried about your mental state.

“anyways today felt different, like you didn’t cum inside me! that’s a first and… i even came. i felt like you were gentle.” shotaros mind started to reel at the idea of the things you would let him get away with if you thought that was gentle and even when you’re praising him for doing less then the bare minimum he could only think of worse things. truly terrible.

you kept going.

“i won’t call the police and… i felt really good today.”

shotaro thought he was going to die, he just assaulted you and you were saying these things. he could feel himself getting hard again and before he could stop it he was back on top of you.

you liked it. someone like you was actually attracted to someone like him. he couldn’t pass the chance to take you again. he was going to play with you as much as you let him.

after shotaro had once again taken you how he liked he, once again, went through the five stages of grief begging for your forgiveness. you were too fucked out to comfort him at the point and he quickly left leaving you with fare for the ride home.

he decided to leave the whole incident behind him, citing it as a life lesson learned. (even though he should’ve known that assault was bad without having to do it but, whatever.) he promised himself that he would forget about that kind of thing and focus on dance. that is until he ran into you once again.

you greeted him first, before he could run away and that action alone confused him. you looked so cute just like the first time he saw you, but this time you were in a pink tank top and short denim skirt. equally as irresistible. you guys actually made small talk at first until shotaro couldn’t hold it in.

“what happened last night… would you want to do it again? i’ll be gentle!”

you smiled weakly. “if you say so.”

you gave him a blowjob in a bathroom stall before he took you back to his dorm.

in his defense it was very gentle, he took his time with you leaving hot kisses all over your body. you didn’t know what to do with yourself you’d never had sex like that before. he was sweet and thoughtful and you found yourself wanting to hear his voice and feel him more and more.

you wanted him to feel the same way about you. you wanted him to think about you for more than your body. you wanted him to crave every part of you. you felt yourself get lost in the feelings you were developing for him. you pressed your hands against his chest when he moved to enter you.

"please… i want to make you feel good too.” shotaro just stared at you slightly confused before he responded.

“you make me feel so good baby, i think i’m addicted to you.” it’s possible he said more but that’s all you needed to hear. you reached your arms around him and pressed yourself as close to his body as you could.

at that moment you could start to forget the circumstances in which you met. shotaro was so sweet to you now and he wasn’t mean to you then. would it be too much to hope for a relationship with this man? you could imagine letting him use you whenever he wants keeping him satisfied and he would be kind to you in return.

you wanted to kiss him so bad, you were staring at his lips and he thankfully took the hint grabbing your hair to pull you impossibly closer to him. it made you so happy. having shotaro as your boyfriend so no one else could mess with you. and he makes you feel so good…

shotaro loved the look on your face. you looked absolutely obsessed with him and that’s how he wanted it. he felt so lucky that you accepted him, any guilt that he previously felt was totally gone, now he just wanted to have you near him all the time. have you as his and make sure everyone knew.

you were perfect for him. so responsive and eager to please. you loved everything he gave you and he forgot anything else mattered when he saw you.

at some point he knew this was bad. the way you met and how you got to this point. but you didn’t care so why should he? he’ll take advantage of your past to make sure that you’re thankful for everything he does to you.