#he came home early bc i admitted i dont like him working doubles and i like having him around and work was slow today

[bones-n-bookles]

Happy 💕

[nolongerironicteenwrites]

three years pt 2

read it here or on my Ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/users/nolongerironicteen/works or read my other works too 

You put your car in park and sighed. Finally, you were home after longer than you wanted to admit. But you were happy nonetheless. Which meant you were finally going to address the elephant in the room with Neji. Instead of texting till three am you could finally discuss what you were. You looked at your parents' house in front of you as you got out of the car.

    “(Y/N)!” your mom called from the open kitchen window.

You smiled wide and you trekked up the driveway. The house was quiet save your mom’s washing in the kitchen. You found your way in there and gave her a huge hug.

    “Where’s dad?”

    “In the backyard, he’s doing some gardening and collecting the vegetables for me. You can go see.”

You figured unpacking your car can wait for later. You wanted to go see your dad. You kissed your mom on the cheek before going outside. You were thrown through a loop to not see your dad, but see your friends all there.

    “Welcome home!” they shouted.

You doubled back smiling before rushing to hug them all. You were overwhelmed. You might have only seen them like two weeks ago you were happy to be home. Even if it was only a little while.

    “We missed you.” Naruto laughed pulling you in for another hug.

    “We saw her like a week ago?” Sai replied, confused.

You ruffled Sai’s hair when a set of arms wrapped around your middle. You tensed up before smelling the familiar smell of cigarettes.

    “Traitor.”

    “For?” Shikamaru asked.

    “Dating my keyboard player. Smoking. Or where you spending time with Azuma seeing your godchild?”

    “The latter.”

You rolled your eyes and he let you go but not without rubbing his cheek to yours and pulling away. You huffed and backed away. You didn’t get far before bumping into something cold. A set of hands-on the back of your elbows.

    “You got a tattoo?”

Neji.

You spun around and checked out the inside of your elbow blushing.

    “I uh yeah. I have four actually.”

He looked impressed. Not deterred, he grabbed your arm and saw the grl pwr tattoo on the inside of your elbow. You and Temari have matching ones since you two were two women who basically front a band. You have three others. You have a paper airplane on the back of your shoulder, a galaxy piece on your side, and on your thigh, there was a storm cloud that under a UV or blacklight made the lighting bolt shine. Neji smiled at you. You heard someone gag behind you. You had the vaguest feeling it was Kiba. You turned around and pulled your eye and stuck your tongue at him. He hugged you and you laughed.

You spent the afternoon with your friends and parents until you were nearly falling asleep where you sat. You didn’t realize how tired you were until you let yourself relax against Neji. The night grew colder and the party moved inside. It quickly became a quiet night after that, movies and drinks and crashing on the couch. Well you crashed on the couch everyone else went home to Shikamaru’s to get their car or ride home. Neji once everyone was ready to go brought you to your bedroom and kissed you goodnight before leaving.

    “Are you going to ask her?” Lee asked.

    “Ask her what?” Sai asked guiding Ino to Shikamaru’s.

     “Ask (Y/N) out properly.”

Neji glared at Lee and pulled his jacket closed. He ignored the question which Shikamaru didn’t like. He imposed himself over Neji but Neji was just slightly, only slightly taller. Shikamaru crossed his arms and glared. Which in itself is nerve-inducing.

    “Well, Neji what are your plans with my best friend?”

    “If you must know, I like her. Clearly. So I wish to ask her out.”

    “Hurt her and your ass is mine.”

    “I don’t like you like that at all but I would never, I’m not Koma.”

Shikamaru gave one glare and then nodded. Neji waisted until he looked away to silently release his breath.

    “There’s your answer Lee. Be safe getting back you guys text the group when you all make it back home.” Shikamaru waved before going inside.

Neji gathered Hinata, Naruto, Lee, and TenTen and headed to everyone’s respective homes. He and Lee lived together, Hinata and Naruto lived together, and TenTen lived in the same building at Neji and Lee. Neji didn’t let anyone talk on the car ride back. He didn’t wish to speak about his love life with anyone anymore. Once in the comfort of his own apartment he let his hair down and groaned.

    “Neji- I’m sorry. You guys were just so cozy.”

    “Lee I’m not upset with you. I mean you were just speaking about what you saw.” Neji replied while pulling off his jacket. “She’s back for a year while some of her bandmates finish school. I have time but no time when I can’t even talk to her about my feelings!” Neji flopped onto the sofa neglecting to take off his shoes.

    “You could talk maybe Guy and Kakashi-sensei.” Lee sat by him.

Neji didn’t hate that idea. It would have been better than talking to his own father. Not that he didn’t want to, but he didn’t think his dad could help. His mom made the first move on his dad. But with Guy-sensei it was an accident with him and Kakashi but probably better advice than his father so maybe Lee was onto something there.

       menace to sobriety

the boulder

    Neji and I are home.

tippy

    As am I.

eyes

    Naruto and me too.

glasses

    Kiba is drunk on the floor of his house crying to Akimaru about the boy in facepaint?

fur culture

    traitor!

pencil ****

    Ino and Sakura are trying to dye their hair.

*eye roll*

    They’re getting along?

pencil ***

    sauske isn’t here to fight over. i'm on watch duty..

omnipotent friend

    dont let them make bad choices they’ll regret in like 5 minutes.

*eye roll*

     or you could.

omnipotent friend

    ill remove you

*eye roll*

    not ur chat

        fur culture changed the admin to omnipotent friend

*eye roll*

    im in danger

The chat died down after that and you fell back asleep. Neji laughed. This chat has bounced admin to admin and the nicknames change often enough to keep anyone entertained. Neji himself got ready for bed. Rock Lee stayed up a bit longer than him to do some work for his up-and-coming school week. He was student teaching this week.

The next morning everyone woke to a few changes in the group chat. You changed a few nicknames and the title

       the void calls me forth

gremlin

    (y/n)! how dare you call me a gremlin.

void keeper

    bc im not kiba and you will not bully me

pretty boy

    im pretty?

sai-duck

    i like this more.

fur culture

    I deserve this honestly. All though these were good changes. neji is pretty, sai clever pun and shikamaru deserved it. you should have been this admin from the start

whoji

    we told you that from the start, and two she came up with half the original nicknames

the boulder

    teenagers scare me.

You snorted and walked down the stairs. Kiba just accepted his fate. It was almost perfect. Your mom left you a note about her plans for the day. Your father was there for the day but he was engrossed in work. You ate something quickly and popped your head in to say hello to him. He waved at you and went about your day.

n. hyuuga

    Good morning. Can you meet me at The Blossom for coffee?

you

    sure. totally. see you in ten?

n. hyuuga

    Yes. Of course. Cannot wait.

You smiled to yourself walking down the stairs. Your mom was gone for the day. You could hear the television on. You popped your head in to see your dad watching a show about rocks. You smiled while he just read in his rocker the noise in the background. You leaned on the frame waiting for him to notice you. It takes him a moment before he looks up from his book and he smiles.

    “What’s up buttercup?”

    “I’m going to get coffee, do you need anything while I’m out?”

He shakes his head no.

    “Go have fun. I’ll see you later.”

You smiled and blew him a kiss. Walking into the kitchen you grabbed your jacket and purse off the coat rack. You slipped your phone into your jacket pocket and started on your walk. The great thing is The Blossom was a five-minute walk from your house. The walk, while short, gave you time to reflect. You thought about Neji. You probably always liked him, it went through phases where you liked him more than a friend, but then Koma happened. That six months of your life where Neji didn’t cross your mind. But now it all seems to be falling into place.

As you approached the cafe, Neji was already there. He looked beautifully aloof. You quietly walked up to him while he scrolled on his phone. His light skin contrasting against his dark hair and the bright red t-shirt and checkered pants to match. You honestly were a mixture of both impressed and intimidated by him. He always looked like he had his life together. You looked down at yourself and how you were dressed. You layered tights under overalls with a baggy sweater on top. You felt like you weren’t dressed well enough to compete with him. He looked up at you and smiled. He gently pulled you to him and kissed your forehead. You weren’t sure what you two were but you were content.

    “This is my treat, come on.”  He smiled opening the door for you, “I picked this place because no one would come here or neither do I think our friends care enough to find us. This place has chai lattes and oat milk which I know are your favorites.”

You smiled, cheeks becoming redder.

    “You remembered?”

    “Of course,” he responded. It’s because I love you. But he didn’t let her know that.

You held onto the crook of his elbow whilst he ordered. He ended up ordering for both of you while you had a small smile on your features. He ordered the chai latte for you and a simple London fog drink. You weren’t expecting that. As if he read your mind.

    “I had a small cup of coffee before I decided to ask you out. Do you want anything else?” he asked.

    “Do you want to split a coffee cake?”

Neji nodded. His eyes lit up like you hung the stars in the sky. You felt very on par with Neji, finally. You and he walked over to a table situated in the corner by the window. It was a kind of chilly morning for how early in September that it was. You rested your head on your hand looking between him and the window before you asked.

    “Don’t you work on Monday? Like a new startup position at a family-owned accounting firm?” You asked, smirking.

Neji smiled at your question crossing his legs and leaning over to rest his head on his hands, thinking for a moment to formulate an answer for you.

    “Yes but technically no. My days got changed because I’m going back to school for my masters so my uncle has me working sparingly.”

    “Your masters? That’s great!” you smiled excitedly.

He looked very bemusingly at you. He offered a hand to you to hold across the table. The two of you shared the cake and drinks in silence. No need to talk currently. The two of you spoke sparingly and worked on individual projects. You worked on songs and he worked on some classwork.

    “Neji. What are we?” you asked.

The keyboard clicking stopped. You felt your body tense. Had you pushed a boundary? He was hesitating and you were getting progressively more anxious. He started wringing his hands, but you quietly waited for him to answer you. Seconds felt like hours to you waiting.

    “I-I knew this was coming but I-” He sighed softly, “I was just trying to feel out how you felt before I spoke to you about me.” Neji explained, “(Y/N) I have liked you probably since I was fifteen. But our lives never seemed to line up. Call it destiny if you will always seem to escape me. I dated, you dated. I got scared of my feelings for you but not anymore I can’t. I don’t want to. I- I want to take care of you, and be with you and support you.” He ended up just muttering to himself.

Your heart clenched watching him. You smiled that he was being honest with you. Even though he was avoiding your eye contact. You reached out to grab his hand to get his attention. He slowly let you coax his hand into yours while you figured out how to respond.

    “Thank you, Neji for being honest with me. I know how you feel. You bore your feelings to me for how you feel. I accept your feelings.” you replied, smiling. “And I- I would love nothing more than this to work out. It would need work. Between music and you being in school again it won’t be easy, and I’m sorry for that. I wish I can be more for you.”

    “You’re perfect enough.” He brought your hand to his lips to kiss. “You are worth the work.”

Kiba was passing by when he stopped and did a double-take. He was convinced that he saw you and Neji but he wasn’t sure.

       the void calls me forth

fur culture

    r (y/n) and neji on a date?

ino-yeet-chi

    why would that be ur concern if they were kiba?

fur culture

    b/c im not being left out of this revelation once it happens like i was when lee came out. also i see them..

Kiba was squinting at the frosted glass window. Neither you nor Neji knew what was going on in that chat; both of you had your phones picked up. Kiba needed to know so he quietly snuck into the cafe and to a booth on the other side of the store from you two. Not that you would have noticed, either way, you and Neji were in your own little world. It looked like a date to Kiba.

       the void calls me forth

ino-yeet-chi

    KIBA NO. LEAVE THEM ALONE. SHINO GET YOUR BOY

        glasses has left the chat

Neji laughed to himself at something you said. He then leaned in to grasp your chin to press a soft kiss to your mouth. Not wanting to push you. Kiba could hardly believe it. He got up and slipped into the bathroom.

       the void calls me forth

fur culture

    Holy- DUDE

You felt your phone vibrate and Neji felt his too. You both grabbed your phones and checked the messages. His eyes shot up and scanned for Kiba keenly aware. You were confused. You also looked over the messages and glared.

    “He’s here somewhere.” you groaned.

Neji pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at you almost apologetically.

    “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. You grabbed his back and yours and pulled him from the cafe.

    “Don’t be sorry. I know where we can go where no one will find us.”

You and Neji dipped through the streets. He allowed himself to be pulled by you while you brought him to a home. He didn’t recognize this house. You explained it was your grandfather’s home, but he wasn’t home. You had a treehouse in the backyard that you wanted to show him. He was surprised to see this.

    “Whoa.”

    “I know.”

You climbed up the rope ladder and Neji followed closely as you went up. Inside the treehouse, it looked older but sometimes you still come up to be alone or to play music. Neji stood hunched because it was made for you who had never been very tall. He looked around and smiled.

    “Finally.” he groaned.

He grabbed your face softly and kissed you properly. You gasped quietly and he kept one hand on your face and the other on your waist to make sure this was real. You both needed air eventually and he actually started to giggle. You laughed and the two of you spent the afternoon in the early fall air laughing, stealing kisses, and being in each other's presence.

[truthbehindthemysteries]

⛧ Tʜᴇ Oɴᴇ Tʜᴀᴛ Gᴏᴛ Aᴡᴀʏ ⛧

Tenth Doctor x Reader Summary: It was hard to trust people as you had reason to regret doing so in the past, so when you let those rare people in : it's a special thing. Unfortunately your love for a mad man in a blue box would lead to your demise. If only you had known what you never would now.... Perhaps there could have been a happier ending instead. Warnings: none, i don't think. A/N: this came to mind a little bit ago and i couldn't just not write it; I hope anyone enjoys reading this! Theme Song: Arcade by Duncan Lawrence.

It had gone on for so long, it was hard to pinpoint where it started. Life deals anyone with troubles and you have certainly gone through a fair few on your own, growing up fast having to be an adult when you were still a kid doing the mischievous, fun but carefree things without any responsibilities for yourself aside from going to school, basic self-care and doing chores assigned to you. First, it had started with people taking advantage of your kindness, using it against you to wrap you around their finger only for them to stab you in the back in the end. You always gave too many chances, having developed such a heart of gold, it would be a rare treasure itself. People have lied to you, hid things from you, manipulated you, used you for their own gain. They made you trust them enough to be open with them and feel close only to rip off that internal band-aid you put on to protect yourself from the traumas you have gone through. Like pouring salt in a wound, they made you regret showing a side of yourself to someone who didn't have a care in the world.

At different stages, at first, you were confused and in denial. No one wants to admit to being 'weak': Everyone wants to put up the front that they are some strong and fierce person but everyone has a gentle side. It's always the quiet ones you got to watch out for. Even the people you loved and thought you knew, can surprise you. Luckily for you, you managed to find very few real ones along the years after you moved out of your hometown, got a job, even went to college, and started working on yourself. So when you had found yourself in an undeniably strange event, leading you to meet the Doctor & Rose Tyler? You found the life, the kind of home, and happiness you had never felt elsewhere. From the moment you and them spoke, interacted with each other, when they grabbed your hand and you all ran together. Things changed forever from that day, giving you the best memories of your life. If only you had known what it would lead to. Would you have turned the other way and never let yourself cross their path or would things remain unchanged. You had formed a close friendship with Rose - finding her to be a lively, loveable girl with a passion for life, adventure, love, and passion. Being close in age to her, you two were practically tied at the hip. It would not make sense to not be considering you both traveled with a two-hearted alien who travels through all of time and space. Speaking of said man.... You glanced over at him as he spoke with Yvonne Hartmen, the currently leader of the organization known as Torchwood. You had went along with him and Jackie as he questioned the woman on everything involving the Ghost Rift. Eyes wisful, you played with your hands as you followed them, being quiet due to your thoughts. Being one who has trust issues, it was definitely hard when it came to love. What a word right? How could you properly describe such a strong intense emotion that you feel for someone? To you? it was that smile on their face they gain despite the hardships they have gone through because they are strong enough to overcome them. It's them being the first thought as you wake up and the last one you have before you go to sleep. It's like a breath of fresh air that makes you feel more alive than the normal breaths you take because the ones you took before were before finding your other half, the one meant for you. Like a soul twin split in half trying to find the other, having done so and feeling a sense of home in that other person. That wherever they go, you go. It was everything in you feeling at peace as if 'Hey there you are, I've been waiting for you. My soulmate, my missing piece, my other half, my true love, you're the one' . It was all the secret jokes, the meaningful looks, it was all those hugs and the longing stares. It was all the smiles and the laughs. It was picking each other back up at their falls, their troubles, their struggles, their weak moments. Always supporting, trying to understand and the mutual respect. It was dancing at early hours in the morning in each other's arms, not needing any music. It's that immediate no hesitation, full determination kind of actions and the loving words when they are threated or are in danger. It's there is nothing you wouldn't do for them. You two would go through not just the great, good, and the amazing but the bad, the horrible, and the sad together bc you would rather go through all of it together than not experience the happiness together and go through the struggles alone. It's having a hand to hold, always knowing that they are there for you, even if you dont want to admit it. Your companion. You chuckled quietly to yourself, running your tongue over your bottom lip. Technically you are the Doctor's companion, not the other way around. But.... you think as your eyes trail over his figure in that suit with the brown overcoat. You so badly wished you could be more but you're not surprised that nothing has seemingly changed. The Doctor for all their flaws but the attractive qualities they hold {looks are just a bonus to you: its everything else that matters.} They could have anyone, all of people in time and others of similar and different species in space at their pleasure to engage with, why would they ever possibly want a human girl from Planet Earth with issues due to the toxic way her life had grown to be, trying to fight through it to become your own person away from all that. Since being swept up together in the blue box, you and Rose had grown to love and care about the timelord. You two had made your choice a long time ago: After everything the Doctor has so far seen, heard, went through: everything he has done? He had for however long a time, do it all alone. But he didn't have to anymore, he had you two. Though.... your eyes dim as sadness sweeps over your features, making sure to have them disappear, unaware of the timelord in focus would watch you out the corner of his eyes from time to time. He and Rose are close: They HAD to have something going on which was why you always kept your mouth shut, feeling like the third wheel trapped in your thoughts because you didn't want to ruin anything. Maybe one day, you should let all you feel out and maybe just maybe, you would gain the strength to move on and accept the beauty of everything you did have. At least he was in your life, he could not be at all? In him and in Rose, you found home. You found friendship and love, you found another family. A real genuine one that included a certain immortal captain and a brilliant childhood friend and boyfriend of Rose's. Thinking back on the Doctor, you couldn't help but smile, warmth and light showing through your eyes and heart starting to flutter. From the chocolate brown hue of those eyes, so deep and soulful that you could drown in their depths. You love his eyes: They held so much knowledge, love for life, adventure and passion, loss and pain, but wisdom as well. From the soft spiky hair you wish you could run your hands through to the sharp jawline and those lips. That dorky frame that he covered in suits and a brown overcoat. From the way he gobbed: Ramnling on and on about different planets, histories, cultures, historical people and other alien species, to alien technology and his Tardis, and that was just a f e w to mention. YOu adored his intelligence, you too could relate on having a thirst to learn and explore. But then with the dorkiness and the physical charm came his hearts. They were hearts of gold they are. After all, he had double the heart and from the way he tried to live the majority of his life: Never be cruel or cowardly, Never give in and always be kind. He loves and cares with so much, it's to an unthinkable extent. You knew how unbearable the pain of losing Gallifrey was, he refused to ever even talk about it. But he trusted you and Rose, you got to see a side of him that no one else saw. You wished you could do anything to take that pain away but you can only do so much. You hope it's enough.. =============================================================================================================== Things had gone from 0 to infinity really quick. At one point, the Doctor was challenging Yvonne and suddenly all the Ghosts across the world had transformed into being what they really were: using the weakness of humanity in the form and feeling of their lost loved ones into being much darker: Cybermen. That wasn't even the worst of it, however. Locked away in Torchwood was a sphere of strange existence, coming from timelord origin, storing countless Daleks. The very comical looking monsters who equally have caused a reputation of horror to anyone who crossed their path. From the sounds coming off from 'Delete' to "Exterminate", the rolling of the pepper looking pots to the harsh deliberate stomps of the metal men, you along with Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith, and the others from Pete's world tried to stop the invading forces from wiping out and causing destruction to humanity. In the action of it all, including going back and forth between worlds, you and Rose showing your loyalty and decision to the Doctor, stopping the Daleks AND the Cybermen, trying to make sure anyone and everyone was saved and protected as much as possible: The Doctor had found a solution. Magna Clamps in his hands that once put against something could hold immense weight as if it were nothing. You, your fellow human friend, and the alien would hold on tight for dear life to not be sucked into the other world, due to the particles you three were practically soaked in due to time/space traveling. In their own ways of screaming, all the Daleks were ripped from where they had each been, droves and droves of them being sucked out of your world from whence they came, the Cybermen following after them which would no longer post a threat to the world they had been inhabiting for dark intent. Suddenly, your heart sunk. The system was malfunctioning, going to go offline for the Magna clamp that Rose was clinging onto. "Hold on, don't let go!", The Doctor yelled, holding on the seperate side way from you two girls. You struggled, dropping one hand to get Rose's back on so she could fully hold on once more, You and her both had a knuckle whitening death grip on the clamps, refusing to be ripped away from the one you two loved and cared about with everything to give. "I got it Rose, it's back, Hold tight.", you said, the system turning back online once more. Inwardly taking a breath of relief. Rose smiled, her nerves starting to calm as she shared a smile with you. THat was close. Meanwhile, the Doctor stared at both of you, his eyes never breaking contact, refusing to. He would never make you two go back on a choice made though he would have understood. Nerves shot by everything that was going on today, if he lost either of you? He feared how he would be to that. YOu and him shared a nod. Suddenly, the thing went back offline again and it was getting much harder to hold on. No.. NO, this couldn't be happening. Rose tried before you could to get it back online again but you both could see she was struggling. Your heart pattering away like a machine gun, you slowly looked from her to the Doctor, thoughts running wild and madly in your head. You didn't want to lose Rose, if she fell through then you and the alien would never be able to see her again an you couldn't go through that, the alien couldn't either, not another loss. Eyes welling up with tears, an idea that would break you came into your head. A sigh came out your lips, cracking which made it harder to breathe. The world didn't need you, it would be okay without you: It couldn't lose the Doctor either, they both needed each other, not you. The world needed the timelord. Making the heartbreaking decision, you dropped your hand and put it over Rose's on the clamp. Her eyes immediately shot towards you, frowning and knowing you were going to help as she struggled for dear life.. A sad internal cry, makes all of you. "It's okay,  you're going to be okay Rosie.. Trust me?" Her eyes start to widen in realization, the Doctor starting to look confused and his hearts started to beat painfully in his chest. What was going on? Rose shared a look with you that lasted, "Please don't do this, no- stop it! Don't you dare! no!-" but with great force while trying to be careful, you had her hands tightly onto the clamps you had been held onto, your hands going where hers had been,. on her clamps... Breaths turning shakier and tears spill down your cheeks, you give a look towards the Doctor, eyes showing what you could no longer hide: love, pain, unspoken apologies.,... Tears welling up in his eyes and head shaking as he held on, You smiled sadly at him once more, no longer having the strength to hold. You wish things could have been different, you thought as you fell weightlessly away, like floating on a bed of waterm you felt so light. The Doctor's hearts broke, the tears spilling down his cheeks and pain evident in his eyes as he held on. So badly he wanted to fall so he could be with you.. No, he was the Doctor, he could fix this. He had to, Please... Mouth wording silently 'i love you.' as you looked at him and Rose, especially him one last time , your whole life flashing before your eyes before Mickey caught you on the other side. Being able to let go of the clamps now that they were safe, the Doctor, ran full force right at the barrier, trying to get to you but knowing he couldnt. Hitting the wall with such force from his chest, he groaned from the impact but he didn't stop. He kicked, he punched and he screamed. How dare the universe give him something as wonderful as you after all his life has been,. torturing him with a life that could have been then rip you away from him as if it were some cruel harsh joke? NO, this was a joke it had to be. In the background on the floor with her hands on the flat surface, Rose cried brokenly for you, wishing what she felt was you instead. She had literally ran from everything she had ever known, putting her life literally at the mercy of a two hearted alien with an imposibble travel craft , born from a different planet. It had always been you and her, two human girls from Planet Earth, close in age and relating to much. You two were practically family, No.. you are, ... you two were. Why would you do this? How could you do this? "Please.. don't just.. please, come back to us.. give her back... Dont leave him.. don't leave me.", she choked the words out, her voice cracking and making it hard to speak from the pain in her voice, vision blurring from the steam of tears. By this point, the Doctor's hands were bloody, knuckles bruised and scabbed, the blood showing on the clear white wall seperating them and you from each other. "THIS. IS. NOT. FAIR! I won't accept this.. you give her back to me Universe. YOU GIVE HER BACK TO ME RIGHT NOW DAMN IT...", he hits the wall, taking deep breaths as tears fall down his cheeks. Stupid timelord: Opening your hearts to a human girl who you would have lost at some point anyway. Did you really expect to have her forever. If only you had admitted your feelings sooner, perhaps things could have went differently. "please.. you promised me always and forever. We swore that to each other: You, Me and Rose. through the glories and madness of everything together, it was us three. Come back to me, please.. i can't lose you.. i-", he crumples to the floor, leaning his head against the wall and hand to, looking where his hand and the wall met, wishing he was with you. Perhaps it wouldnt be so bad. Of all people he had to hopelessly, crazily and madly, head and hearts and soul over heels, irrevocably stolen by you: You had such an effect on him and now you would never k know. Know how much he loves you, how much he cares, how he wishes he could have kept you for his own: A rare coveted treasure that not even he felt he deserved but felt lucky to be in the life of. "Please.. please don't leave me.. Everyone i ever lost, my planet, my people and my home. All the horrors i have seen, you were my sunlight through all this darkness. You saw good in me when all i saw was darkness. You were my sun, my light. You were my conscious and my sounding board. You saw the deepest vulnerable parts of me and in you: i developed the courage to finally start to heal on my own for myself. You always got under my skin, branding us as one.. I wish we could have been. I.." he takes a deep breath, unaware you were on the other side, your hand where his was. "I love you.. I love you so much and it's killing me. This is hurting me so bad inside and i hate it. I don't want to feel anything. If i had never met you, i know i never needed you in my life but its been happier since you been in it. My hearts living and walking, breathing and being outside this old body. You never gave up on me or abandoned me. YOu gave me a chance when you could have ran a w a y instead. I love you, i love you with everything that makes me, me. My hearts have been stolen as they have been waiting for you long before i ever met you and since knowing you, that will never change. I am and will forever be yours." Why did the Universe have to be so cruel? Why give you?/Why give him if it was just going to be lost? People shouldnt have to be happy BECAUSE they would be sad later on. Call it cheesy or whatever but there shouldn't be sadness or pain at all: Why couldn't there just be good? Of course, rational thoughts and sense rule out in the end: There must always be a balance. As the Doctor opened the floodgates of everything he felt for you, Rose realized painfully in the background why you did it which the Doctor included in what he said: YOu sacrificed yourself for her because you thought she was more deserving to have stayed, that he loved her and not you, that the world would be better off, ; That was so far from the truth that it wasn't even an idea to be entertained. At the same time on your end in Pete's world, Jackie and Pete Tyler as well as Mickey Smith watched as you broke before them, sad in their own ways of losing Rose, the home they always known for a parallel one and for you, unable to help. You however didn't fight against the wall, trying to get back to the man you love literally a world apart. You just lied sideways against the wall, hand where the Doctor's was, crying brokenly as your body wracked in shakes. "I only ever imagined what my life could have been if i never met you.. I wouldn't have found so many beautiful friendships, i wouldn't have fallen completely in love with you: I wouldn't have seen everything this universe has to offer. I wouldn't hold all the wonderful memories i only have left but to cherish now. I love you.. I wish i had been strong enough to tell you.. I'm so sorry, but you couldn't lose her. You two needed each other but you'll be okay, we all have to be." You fought to get the words out: Your heart, your soul, your brain, the feelings in your fists and your legs to fight through this pain and say NO it wouldn't control you or your life, You will have that life with the man you love that you both deserve... However, trying to open a gap once more would only have disastrous consequences and you were far from selfish. You should have been in this. "Thank for the beautiful memories. Thank you for bringing such love and life to one that had been lacking it for years: You brought me out of that pain, that brokeness, that darkness and showed me how amazing life can be. A great way to live your life for yourself, to be as brave and smart and fierce to make your own legacy, your own destiny. To take life by the reigns and fight for yourself, to fight for those who can't protect themselves. Thank you for giving me you: I wish things could have been different." You weren't going to ramble on and on what was obvious as you cried your heart out for a person that you would never see or hear from again. Mickey slowly wrapped his arms around you, encircling you in his embrace, giving you comfort and warmth. You turned your head to bury it in his chest as you held him tightly by the shoulders with your arms in between his, sobs racking through your body as he rubbed your back. He didn't care that you fought against him, that you cried and got his clothing wet, didn't care that you held him so tight that it could hurt. He was hurting too. Rose's family was suffering. "I'm here, i promise.. Things are going to be okay, i'm here. I'm not going anywhere." You heard the words, also like a timelord? Not wanting to feel anything. You cried yourself hoarse until you couldn't produce more tears for that moment, "I love him Mickey.. I know it wasn't a smart idea with how he lives his life and i wouldn't be around forever but he didn't make it easy. Nothing was ever easy but it was worth every second. He is worth fighting for.. how can i even begin to let go." Being helped to your feet, your made to look at Mickey as he wiped your tears, Jackie joining him to smile sadly at you, taking your hand, "Together.. We'll help each other sweetheart.', Pain in your body was intense, making it breathe, You bit your lower lip as you nodded at them, at Pete behind them. Turning to look at the wall which seperated you from all that you ever known, vision went blurry from the tears that fell. Loving him was a losing game, wasn't it? Carrying the broken pieces to a new home you'd have to make, You could only hope that you and your broken heart would get stronger as time would heal the wounds. Meanwhile with the Doctor, he and Rose slowly left though ofc considering the feelings, it was impossibly hard too. Should have known, human girl and timeless child: It was a death sentence, the nails to a coffin or two when you two decided to give all you two had to give, nothing held back for each other. Stupid boy and girl, you should have known that broken hearts could be left from this. Losing pieces, trying to find a new home, afraid of whats to come, Loving each other was a losing game. Perhaps if love really was true, you two could find your way back to each other again because no matter the directions, the courses, the destination is always the same no matter how you get there and by the way of fighting for each other, you two could be what you both should have been.

[cheswirls]

a quick sum-up of che’s future career plans, bc reasons

im halfway through the dive!! anime show that came out this summer season, and i’m having a lot of thoughts, and plus i finished going through all the footage i missed today of skate america while i was at a bball game, and it’s made me realize different things i guess? 

it might be mid-long length so its going under a cut, but to gain intereststart off, this is all about my desire to be an athletic trainer for the usa olympic center at colorado springs, co !

ive been an at(now when you see that abb. you know what it means hah!! not assistant teacher hmm) student since my freshman year of high school, and i’ve loved it a whole bunch. back then i was set on going to columbia U for their writing program, and i wanted to major in graphic design afterwards/during/it wasnt super planned out i was a fr. i didnt know what bfa or mfa stood for yet. it wasnt until end of sophomore year than i thought about being an at for realsies.

but i also still loved gd. so there was a confliction there.

junior year i took a break from working volleyball in the fall and did my one and only year of football and it was terrible primarily bc the team i worked with didnt know how to function as a group and half the group were selfless bitch whores but like thats another storyyy, secondly bc i jus really discovered i didnt care abt football at all. it was mostly for the experience and i gained it and i liked it bc i hung out w a lot of people from helping out w varsity (i was one of two our of the five juniors that had been there since my fr year and was only on jv bc it was my first year w football, but one of the seniors had to work a bunch so when they needed an extra person i was the one w the most experience so i was w them a lot,) point was it was fun!!! and you have fun w ppl you like that you dont work w all the time and i shouldnt say fun bc lots of times it was awful,

basically! it was fun being w the varsity trainers which were the seniors and the other junior that had been around since fr year. volleyball was fun but it had always been a one-at-student-per-team sport , so it was different jus being w other ats that shared the same team and not the same sport(which in the us is made up of at least three different teams, a fr,jv,and varsity). it was a more open environment and so it inspired a lot of talk with the at grad students we had that semester (we got 3-4 every semester in a partnership w the D1 uni in town, it was always cool to hear stories from them!) and anyway i remember talking w a couple of the grads one practice and we were discussing all the different occupations athletic trainers could have, and what they wanted to work with in the future, and the topic veered towards professional sports and the olympics.

i thought it was really cool when we were talking about it, and then we got busy and it flew out of my mind. i dont remember when it came back and became a focus, but sometime before my senior year, i had decided i wanted to work at the olympic level.

real quick i mentioned gd and the struggle, so to bring that into focus, my junior year i took a whole bunch of different tech classes (gd&i, compsci, webtech) and in one of those, i had the opportunity to go to a ... i cant remember what the term was for it, but it was kinda an event for gd students and it had a little competition and stuff, and it was really fun! nd you got a lot of info abt the community college hosting it and i learned their program was really good, so the gd versus at internal struggle continued, and i remember talking to my sponsor teacher (she actually taught all three of my tech classes that year aaa i loved her) about how i didnt know what to do and shit and i dunno what she told me but like, i think she was trying to be encouraging but she basically said it was up to me, like she didnt try and nod me into a direction, that i can recall.

so SOMEHOW bc i honestly cannot remember, by senior year i’ve decided that im gonna jus fuck it and pick BOTH and double major in gd and athletic training. AND i had it all planned out, where i was gonna get a degree in gd and open up an online business, and then go into a masters program for at and then enter into the olympic field. 

by this point creative writing is still cool and a great hobby but i couldnt possibly double major AND have a minor that’d be too much. id still love to take a cw course tho one day.

basically a buncha crazy stuff happened that first semester but by winter break i had an acceptance letter to a uni a couple hours north of home with a good accredited undergrad program (accredited basically means you graduate w a masters in four years so its fasttracked which woulda been great but uh..) and by the time i found out that next semester that they were doing away with the accredited program i was already too emotionally invested to consider panic-switching(panic bc it was february and id already been admitted hah...) but i decided it’d be okay. basically if you dont remember/werent around one of my school’s head ats died in a car crash died around early october ‘16. she went to undergrad where i go now, and i’d talked to her about it september that semester wondering if she knew anything abt their program and uh surprise, she’d done the same program small world. after the funeral in november and a ton of thought i applied there. (november was.. crazy in general last year. rly crazy)

may was when i started adding on sports to the future olympics job, bc i started thinking about it and after finally getting a friend to watch yuri on ice, he started making his was through all of sochi’s figure skating stuff, and then the 2010 vancouver olympics, and i decided i wanted to recap a bit on that too.

the 2010 olympics was really my first experience with figure skating. i’m a west texas gal and so theres not a lot out here to get exposed to, so seeing these best-of-the-best class sports was fun, and the earliest experience i can remember of such. i was in fifth grade so i dont remember a ton, but i do remember being captivated by korea’s yuna kim, who won gold that year in fs. shes an fs legend at this point, so if you’re into figure skating and don’t know who she is, go look her up. you wont be disappointed.

in 2012 was the london olympics. i remember a lot from it, like watching the opening ceremony with my parents and seeing the queen jump out of a helicoptor(which is like,, still cool to this day wow) and being fascinated my michael phelps and all the swimming he did so grandly. it was also my first real exposure to diving. the oldest i could recall anything abt the sport was at a pizza hut somewhere.. in town i think, and i was w my best friend at the time and my mom was there so i think maybe we were on the way back from the lake??? sounds right, i think. and we were talking abt how i always held my nose when i went underwater bc i didnt know how to not get water all up my nostrils and be underwter(and i still dont to this day aha) and she mentioned like, joining a diving team would be cool! would help me get over it and all! and i like recalling it dunno what she was talking abt bc we lived in dirt city nothing so i highly doubt there was or is any sort of diving sport happening. swimming, yeah maybe, there were lessons at pools and bodyworks areas around town, competitive teams im not sure tho, but not diving like at all so??? dunno.

so my next and technically first real experience with it was watching the london olympics. and i thought, wow, this is so neat!! i watched from that one day like the opening events, and i think i was old enough to search online like yea i had a laptop by then so i looked up the schedule for the things i wanted to see most of, and i ended up watching i think most of the diving events (i missed a couple for.. archery, i think? maybe?) and absolutely loving it. iunno what it was, maybe something i never thought i could do?(bc not hold my nose?? while i dove???????? scaryy) but i enjoyed it a bunch.

i was older when sochi was a thing, my 8th grade year. i was able to appreciate things a lot more. when i tuned into events, tony hawk and snowboarding were the main focus, but figure skating was on a lot as well. i had a tv in my room by that point, so if i didnt like what was playing on the main tv, i could go watch another event. i learned a lot of names and faces through that, and so while my bff was watching it our senior year if i was with him id point out skaters and their nationalities and stuff, like yuzuru hanyus always been a modern day household name w figure skating, but i leanred abt him BECAUSE of the sochi olympics, and he was one of the ones i’ve never forgotten. i really really liked it, so much that i watched worlds after, and around the same time my fr year, i tuned in to just the worlds championship again. i didn’t pick up trying to watch grand prix(which is their regular season, for those unaware) season until my junior year, and most of it was day-or-two-late videos from youtube, since the ice channel i think it a paid-for thing (i still dont know much abt it hah) and nothing was on tv otherwise, aside from the skate america event. but since that first time after sochi, ive always been around watching worlds fs near the beg of each year. i’d familiarized myself by senior year with the fs world, and actually,

early (i think march?) of my junior year, i searched up trying to find a figure skating anime at the time. and what did i find?? ginban, the only figure skating anime at the time. i watched like maybe all of one episode, it was abt a girl who shared her body w the ghost of a former figure skater while she was competing in events, and it was.. okay? lackluster, in the animation dept, but it was a 2005 show so.. yeah.

so after that i was like kk that wasnt good lets find another. and i didnt. not yet, anyway. instead, i found an announcement for violet evergarden’s animated adaptation, and yuri on ice, a realistic adaptation of the sport of figure skating. thats bolded bc its important. i found that shit abt yoi before it even had a promo poster, certainly before the pv came around that got everyone hyped up. i found it bc i was looking for figure skating in the first place. in fact, i think when the pv came out and got popular, i didnt even relate it to the upcoming fs anime i’d read about previously. it took me a bit to connect the dots. 

watching yuri on ice at the same time as the gp 2016 season was surreal, but really interesting. i got my bff into it before the second to last episode came out, and i only remember that bc he finally showed any interest when he found something on twitter abt it being gay (newsflash/// hes gay, and before yoi his fav show was no6 bc that was as close as it got. he still rly likes it, we both do, but his solid favc is now definitely yoi. representation matters and all) and was like well now i HAVE to watch it and i was all yes it ends soon so pls. and he watched it twice in a weekend, and thrice before the finale came out, and then a few more times after that, iunno how many times but certainly more thn i have(i went back after the .. maybe ep 10? w/e ending had the after party reveal that changed everything, so i went back to analyze everything before the next ep) and between the week of 11 and finale 12, he started watching the sochi fs competition, and then the 2010 after the show ended w ep 12. 

seeing this great fs show and getting a friend into the world of figure skating really renewed my love for it all. before the semester went out i went back and watched the reruns of the sochi fs stuff. and by may i’d decided i wanted to cosider that to be the sport i worked with.

with diving, it took a similar twist. in the form of the rio 16 olympics. i was all over that shit, i downloaded an nbc app on my phone so i could watch events live while i traveled with volleyball to a tournament in dallas and while i was at practice w them at home and generally jus away from the house and a tv. i planned that shit out had a schedule and everything for what i was watching live, and a lot of it was swimming, but a whoooole lot of live stuff was the diving. 

in the hotel room in dallas the tv would always be on to w/e olympics events were airing at the time, either track or diving tho, one or the other, or recaps. quite a few girls ended up in the room in the evening and we’d all do stuff and watch in passing at the same time, and it was suuuuuper fun. watching the chinese women perform flawlessly and walk away w all the gold was fun, but finding a good commentator to actually say such was a disheartening challenge( one of the most memorable moments w live commentary that year was hearing a woman say of one of the chinese ladies that she’d done better before, after they revealed her personal best score ever like rly cmon be unbiased and jus passionate abt the sport youre covering pls.

ive always been super fond of the diving scene. it may not be as much as fs, but honestly, i wish i grew up in an area w a diving team now, or wish i could try it out now, bc thats how much fun it seems. i still wanna go up to the big city like 30min away from uni and learn to ice skate in the civic center there, but hands down if i had to pick a sport to join tomorrow or die i’d pick diving. 

so also by may, and throughout the culmination of senior year, diving was the second sport on the olympic to-train-for list. you get a five-year contract w the olympics, now i think it’s usa as a whole and i think its by center so say, if i get a job in colorado springs i cant apply in another five years to chula vista or even like lake placid, but iunno for sure. the five-year thing is involved somehow bc i’ve heard it from a physical therapist and trainer-that-works-in-a-sports-med-clinic duo in one body named sarah, who’s been contracted out from the clinic by my high school since junior year also, bc she knows people who’ve worked w the olympics, and then another from church that worked w olympics that knows my family uh iunno how well but i know of him, i think he also works in the clinic as some sort of on-hand surgeon but a diff person than who sarah knew. so its five years somehow and then i’ll take my bfa in gd and open my online business and do that from a studio at home and look after my owl/cat pet combo.

since may, it had been ‘olympics, with either figure skating or diving’. and it stayed that for a long time. now, since a couple weeks ago, and this is again while gp season is happening for fs, its diving. i wanna work w the usa olympic diving team as their team athletic trainer, and i cant do it this summer bc i have to have completed two years of uni, instead of a certain standing, like be a junior, but so NEXT summer, before my senior year of uni, (i came in a sopho so 6 sem only ah) i’m applying for an internship at the center in colorado springs, and that’s the team i hope i work with. 

now i tell people, diving, but if i get offered figure skating, i’ll take it, but diving is the goal now. if i love it and wanna continue professionally, great, i can do that and have an online gd shop. and if i decide i want something different? i’ll work olympics and then join w a professional-level figure skating i actually dunno how it works. coach, and their skater in turn. coach, with multiple skaters under them. a culmination of diff usa skaters. w/e, something in the professional fs world.

and thats uh, thats it! dive has been so much fun to watch, and i realize i talk a lot on here about working w basketball and being an at student in general and the vast majority have no idea what i mean, so hopefully this clarifies. thank you!!