#he blacked out after the first gallon

[w1tchcr4ftt]

So i drew exec after the coffee incident bc oh my god its been stuck in my head now ahhhhh

the only time his clothes have ever been that wrinkled

[anistarrose]

No idea how I forgot to make this post when the website first came out, but Bill's sheer, burning hatred for Stan has such goddamn delectable levels to it, hardly just limited to anger that Stan defeated him. First is the fact that in Bill's eye, he wasn't just defeated, but out-conned by an inferior con man, hustled by a second-fiddle hustler — and what an unthinkable threat to Bill's pride, what a gallon of gasoline to pour on the fire of his rage and contempt! Bill can't shut up about how stupid he thinks Stan's cons and schemes are. But you know what else Bill is furious about? What seething lines he drops, right before the culmination of his breakdown?

[ID from alt: excerpt from the website, reading: "And Lucky Stan- the roll's on black, He got his life and family back. His big break, it finally came, Redemption from a life of shame." End ID.]

Luck. After all Stan's failures, luck, at least in Bill's eyes. The luck of the roll, to get his family back.

Bill fled his ruined home, taking with him his father's hat. Bill treated truth as whatever sold. But. Bill didn't get his family back.

And now? As helpless as Bill is, he refuses to admit it. He refuses to accept that Stan won. That Stan gets to be happy. Because there is no one that Bill more desperately wants to make burn than the person so infuriatingly similar to him, yet so obviously inferior... who nevertheless, despite it all, got exactly what Bill couldn't.

[diremoone]

yakuza! ryomen sukuna | hcs.

overdone trope with this man but here we go again lmao. i’m just writing little drabbles that pop up in my head atp to keep the inspiration going sobs… i need a gallon of coffee

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna, who’s been involved in yakuza bullshit since his last year of middle school, has a soft spot for you. Most people who went to school with you (who are also apart of his gang) two know that, and they know that unless they want to end up like the Zen’in named Naoya, they won’t fuck with you. You’re untouchable, and the second anyone starts rumors about you (everyone knows they were lies regardless because of your character), they’re moving schools within 48 hours.

Fuck ‘em.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna keeps you far away from his gang bullshit as he gets deeper into the darkness and you pull yourself farther away, into the light where he wants you to be. But he knows that even his little sunshine is capable of being mean like him, but it’s tucked away for those that warrant your wrath.

He thinks fondly back to the time you knocked out a couple girls cold with a volleyball for picking on Miwa.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna who swears his hands aren’t stained red whenever they’re holding your hands. Whenever he’s with you, he feels nothing like how his gang makes him feel—he feels normal, like that part of him doesn’t exist. And inside the walls of your home, it doesn’t. To you, in those shared moments, he’s just the nice boy you helped get through middle and high school and grew feelings for.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna who buys you pretty things with money that isn’t gotten by bloodshed… as much as possible anyway. You aren’t ignorant to where the money comes from, but you’ve done your best to make your wishes clear. And Sukuna abides by them as much as possible.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna who has his younger cousin Choso posted as your personal bodyguard whenever you go out, even when it’s just to do some simple grocery shopping. He isn’t taking any chances, this you’ve been made aware of and have accepted. And you’re fine with it, too, considering you grew up with Choso.

But what you don’t know is that there’s already been multiple attempts on your life and your safety. Sukuna isn’t having it.

🖤 Yakuza! Sukuna who gets fed up when you’re on your third date within four months. What pisses him off is that he can’t tell if you’re enjoying the asshole’s time and company or not. But when he sees the man press a kiss to the back of your hand at the end of the date, jealousy rears its head.

The next night, he’s at your front door, dressed in leather and with a spare bike helmet under his left arm.

You answer in a hoodie and black sweatpants, confused and dazed until he says softly, “C’mon, sweetheart. Lemme show you how a man gives a woman a good time.”

Your confusion turns to amusement. “Was wondering when you were going to take me out. It’s about time.”

Sukuna grins and holds out his arm. “C’mon then.”

🖤 Yakuza Husband! Sukuna who ends up putting the ring on your finger two months after that date. You end up signing the papers long before the actual ceremony happens. And to Choso, Yuuji; and all the others that have witnessed your relationship from its first greeting to the ring on your finger, they can only sigh in relief because it’s about fucking time.

… Oh, shit.

Kids.

a/n: the rain and thunder while writing this was a big help lol. it’s been raining for two days now hehe

[justastraymoa]

Unwilling Alpha

Chapter 9

The reveal pt 2

Warnings ⚠️ swears, abo dynamics, mentions of slave trade, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, manipulation.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest.

🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

~

The next morning, before dawn, Chan gently shook me awake.  “Good morning, lovie.”

Groaning, I rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head, not ready to be awake.  I’m warm and comfortable, no way is Chan going to get me out of this bed.  Sadistic bastard!

“Up, up, up!  We have a couple hours before the live.  We need to agree on a track list and get practicing.”

“Fuck you and your fucking track list.”  I snapped.

Someone cackled.  “You made her shit list, Hyung.”  I.N said amused.

“Yeah, yeah.  I can be on any list you want, as long as you get up and get ready.”  Chan dismissed shoving at my hip again so I couldn’t fall back asleep.

With a frustrated sigh I uncovered my head.  “I will find a way to get you back for this.”  I promised darkly.

“You can’t do that if you’re still in bed!”  Chan’s voice faded as he left the room.

Rolling onto my back I took a minute to rub the sleep from my face and attempt to wake my sluggish brain up.  A task that currently felt like an uphill battle I was losing.

“I’d say you get used to it, but you really, really don’t.”  I.N said.

“Mm.  Where is everyone else?”

“Getting dressed, eating breakfast.”

Slowly I sat up and opened my eyes.  Only to immediately squeeze them shut again.  The room was bright.  Too bright.  It stung my sensitive eyes and only added to my misery.  The first full day of being Stray Kids Alpha was already proving difficult and the sun hadn’t even risen yet.

“I need a gallon of coffee.”  I declared.

There was a shuffle and I.N kissed my hairline.  “We can stop somewhere on the way.”

As soon as I could open my eyes I freshened up and put on the first clothes my fingers touched.  Zero brainpower to plan an outfit and look cute.  Not happening today.

When I met up with the others, Lee Know handed me a granola bar and Felix twisted my hair up into a baseball cap.  Changbin helped me put on an oversized hoodie and black face mask.  Still half asleep I just moved where they wanted me without complaint.  In the back of my mind I registered that they were helping me hide my identity and scent until the live later.  Something it hasn’t occurred to my sleepy brain to do when I got dressed.

“Care you even awake?”  Changbin asked when I rocked off balance.

I looked at him through one open eye.  “Coffee.  Please.”  I breathed through the face mask hiding my identity from the world.

“We can manage that.  Let’s go, cars ready.”  Chan informed picking up the bags sitting at his feet and heading to the door.  I stumbled after him almost blindly, eyes unwilling to stay open for more than a few seconds at a time.

After I bumped into the third wall, I felt Hyunjin place his warm hands on my upper arms and start steering me.  Keeping me from bumping into any more obstacles.

Once in the car I leaned on the nearest shoulder and immediately dozed off.  Since it was still so early the Omegas were pretty quiet.  Only talking lowly amongst themselves.  The murmur was a pleasant lullaby.

Gentle finders brushed hair from my temple and stroked over the exposed apple of my left cheek.  “Wake me up one more time, Chan, and I will neuter you.”  I growled.

A puff of air hit me as Hyunjin laughed.  “It’s me.  Sorry, we need your coffee order.”

This roused me and I opened my eyes.  Hyunjin was crouched in front of me with a soft fond look on his face.  “Coffee?”

He smiled brightly at me.  “Yes.  Coffee.  What would you like?”

As soon as there was a hot coffee in my hands, I started to feel like a human again.  The smell and hot steam helped me keep my eyes open while I waited for the drink to cool off enough to drink.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”  Changbin teased.

I shook my head, testing my coffee.  Still too hot.  “Not yet.”  I answered roughly.

It was only a couple more minutes before the car stopped at a sheltered back entrance of JYPE.

“Wait!  Mask, Y/n.”  Chan reminded when I slid toward the door.

“Oh, right.  Thanks.”  I replied pulling the mask back into place.

Apparently, conference rooms are pretty much the same no matter what country you are in.  Long table with chairs all around, large white board covering one wall, huge TV on another, A conference phone smack dab in the middle of the table.  As well as the group company photo squeezed into a random patch of wall, everyone wearing matching shirts.

There were several people already in the room when we arrived.  I stopped in the doorway and looked to Chan wide eyes.  I hadn’t thought about anyone else being here and my first instinct was to leave before they saw or smelled me.

Chan smiled and reached for me.  “It’s okay, Y/n.  This is our manager, the set manager, and sound master.  They won’t bite.

I nodded and waved at the 3 Betas holding my coffee cup in front of me like a caffeine shield.  They nodded back, politely uninterested in my presence.  I sighed silently, relieved.

I wheeled one of the chairs into a corner out of the way and curled up into it, cradling my coffee as I sipped at it.  I watched as everyone settled in, more animated and loud now that they were more awake.

Everyone looked soft and cozy.  Hair product free and floofy, comfortable clothing, no makeup.  I kind of liked them like this.  Just people and not idols.  These were my Omegas in their ‘true’ form so to speak.

I had no idea what to expect in a meeting like this.  I was insanely curious about this part of the process.  What went into the songs they picked to perform.  How the set theme was decided.  How they came up with the absolutely amazing sets and performances.  As a fan you never really got a complete explanation for any of this.

That being said, it wasn’t long before they started speaking in terms I didn’t understand.  I got bored pretty quickly after that.

So instead, I pulled out my phone and caught up on all the Stray Kids stuff I avoided when I was gone.  And started the process of officially moving.  Canceling my mail, getting my appointments canceled, changing accounts to my new Korea address.  I needed to make lists, I know I am forgetting things.

Most importantly I need a Korean phone plan, because the overseas charges on my current plan were absolutely outrageous!  I don’t know the first thing about Korean phone plans or companies.  Does Verizon exist here?  It had too.  Verizon exists everywhere, right?

Felix must have gotten bored because he pulled my chair close to his and started to watch what I was doing over my shoulder.  I glanced up, pretty sure he is supposed to be paying attention, but Chris seemed to pretty much be handling everything.  The others interjecting occasionally.

“We can just put you on our plan.”  Felix whispered to me in his Australian accented English.

“Youre all on the same plan?”  I never thought about their phone plan.

“Yeah, the company pays for it and has all the information in case we get hacked or something.”

Oh, the company.  “No, I’ll just get my own plan.”

“Why?”

“I’m not with the company.  Im with you guys.  I don’t feel comfortable having the company pay my bills.”

“Its not like you haven’t earned it.  Besides, they will need the information for you too in case you get hacked or lose your phone.”

Saying I ‘earned it’ felt too much like I was being paid to be their Alpha, and that felt gross.  I made a face, but didn’t respond to him.  This wasn’t the time or place for this conversation.

However, it did remind me that I needed to find some way to make money.  No way in hell would I be depending on the boys financially like that.  They aren’t my sugar daddies and im not a gold digger.

I only needed a short-term solution.  Just until I am forced to sign a contract with the company and they ‘strongly suggest’ becoming a brand ambassador or to do a commercial or something like that.  I need something to hold me over until I ultimately end up working for JYPE.  It was only a matter of time.

The meeting blissfully wrapped up quickly after our short conversation.  And with a track list decided, it was time to start refreshing themselves on the lyrics and dances.  So, we moved to a practice studio in another part of the building.

I.N handed me a familiar black bag as I made myself comfortable in the back corner of the room.  I looked at him with wide eyes.  “My camera?  You brought it for me?”  It was amazingly nice of him.  My camera is a part of me and I usually don’t go anywhere without it, but I was too tired this morning to think of grabbing it.

He shrugged, trying to play it off.  “Figured you would be less bored if you could take photos.”

I pulled him down into a hug, ruffling the hair on the back of his head and squeezing him tight.  Cuteness aggression is a very real thing.

“Alright, alright!  Enough!”  He complained pulling away, cheeks dusted a light pink and avoiding my eyes.

I giggled and dug into my bag.  Everything I could need is here.  I was unbelievably excited to get some shots of the Omegas.  And having something to do will pass the time quicker.

Standing up I took a few test pictures to adjust for lighting and quality.

As they did their thing I snapped action shots of each of them, doing my best to stay out of the way.

Stray Kids, being the gremlins they were, started to make overexaggerated silly faces.  There was even some rude gestures thrown in here and there.  I smiled at their antics, not deterred in the slightest.

As everyone rested and got some water, Chan approached me.  “Since this is an official live with announcements, they are going to want to do hair, makeup, and outfits.”  He warned.

I wrinkled my nose, but already suspected as much.  “Okay.  I look like shit today anyways, so that’s probably a good thing.”

He flicked my ear lightly.  “Stop.  You look lovely.”

I rolled my eyes and swatted at the offending hand.  “Whatever you say.  When is this makeover?”

“We will head over when everyone has had a chance to rest.”

“Ill pack up then.”  I nodded to the camera in my hands.

Hair, makeup, and wardrobe was an overwhelming experience.  At any given moment I had 2-3 people surrounding me.  Poking, pulling, and prodding all over.  My face was plastered, my hair yanked and gooped.  And at one point I swear I saw the metallic flash of a pair of scissors.

The room itself is loud and chaotic.  People yelled and rushed around everywhere.  All the overstimulation was starting to get to me.  I felt my patience growing short and my muscles get tense.  The lights started to give me a headache and the voices made my ears ring and all blended together.  I scratched my arms to try and relieve the symptoms.  To have one strong thing to focus on so the others were less intense.  It was something I have done since I was a baby, and I have never been able to break the need when the overstimulation gets too bad.  During college I had to wear thick hoodies during mid terms and finals because if I didn’t, I would scratch so much I would bleed.

Gentle hands stilled my own and I refocused.  Hand soothed my burning arms by rubbing them softly.  They were bright red now.  “Its okay.”  He whispered understandingly but still concerned.

I sighed heavily, thankful for the reprieve.  He must have shooed everyone off when he noticed my distress.  “I’m sorry.  I’m – it’s a lot”

He nodded and fished into his pocket.  He fitted a pair of earbuds in my ears.  “This may help.”  He said as he scrolled through his phone for a few seconds before Gods Menu started to play.  Something nondestructive for my mind to focus on.  I nodded and smiled my thanks.

Han left and the people for styling converged again.  Guess they only stepped away long enough for Han to help me before continuing their work.  It was much easier to deal with now as Gods Menu ended and Side Effects started.

When everything was complete and I looked acceptable enough to be seen as Stray Kids’ Alpha I stood and looked at myself in the mirror.  The sight made me sigh in defeat.  I didn’t look like me.

The clothes were expensive looking and not my usual comfy style.  My hair, usually just left alone or pulled into a messy bun was curled and styled perfectly in place.  It was a couple inches shorter now too.  And ive never been one for makeup.  Never had a knack for applying it and didn’t like how I looked in it.  Now, though natural looking, makeup was applied in such a way that it changed the shapes of my face.  Nose shaded to look more angular and petite.  Eyes made to look bigger and rounder.  Cheeks and chin sharper.  I was a different person.

“You don’t look very happy.”  Chan observed.

I sighed and removed the earbuds.  “They did a great job.”  Its true, the work was exquisite.  Flawless even.

“But?”  He prompted.

My lips twisted and I looked back at the mirror.  “I don’t look like me anymore.”  I closed my eyes against a heavy sense of loss.  I shouldn’t complain.  “I’ll get used to it eventually.”

I knew this was coming.  That I would lose who I was.  That they would change me.  I just…I guess I just wasn’t as prepared for it as I thought.  I expected it to take longer.  That it would be slower, piece by piece over time.  This felt like all at once.  I lifted my hand to mess with my hair, but caught myself and lowered it again with a hum.

Chan wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me close, rubbing my upper arm.  “We will have them dial it back next time.”  He promised.

“And we can teach you makeup at home too, so we can find a happy medium.”  Seungmin added joining us at the mirror.

“Don’t worry.  Ill be fine.  I was expecting this.”  I straighten and pull myself together.  This was fine.  I looked beautiful.  Flawless.  Worthy to stand next to Stray Kids proudly.

“Y/n, we don’t want to change who you are.  You’re perfectly fine as you are.”  Chan said.

“I’m not though, am I?”  It was a rhetorical question.  We all knew I wasn’t even close to good looking enough on my own to be seen with gods such as them.

We were summoned away before either male could reply.

My nerves about the live and subsequently the reveal, previously forgotten when I became overstimulated, then saw myself in the mirror, returned full force.  Millions of people are about to watch me on live and find out im an Alpha.  They will know my face.  I'll be plastered all over the internet.

What if I made a fool of myself?�� Or said the wrong thing?  What if I embarrassed the boys?  Ruined their reputation?  Or worse yet, turned STAY against them?  So much could go wrong.

The live setting was familiar.  A living room set up that they had used before on past lives and videos.

“You look ready to vomit.”  JYP said from behind me.

I spun around, excited.  I didn’t expect J to show up today.  “J!  what are you doing here?”  I threw my arms around him.

“Its your reveal day, I didn’t want to miss it.”  He replied patting my back.

I smiled at him, thankful for his comforting fatherly presence.  Someone who had secretly been watching over me my whole life.  He wouldn’t let anything happen to me now.  It would ruin all his hard work.

“Don’t let me say anything stupid, please.”  I requested wringing my hands.

J chuckled.  “Sorry, hun, but your bound to put your foot in your mouth eventually.”

I groaned and bounced a little to try and relieve some anxiety.  “Ooh, I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can.  Just be yourself.  Stray Kids have always been authentic and chaotic, so fans are used to that.  They like that.”  JYP reminded me.  It was true.  They weren’t fake and genuinely cared about what they do and their fans.  “Just flow with the conversation.  They will lead you, guide you.”

I nodded and turned towards the set again.  Lee Know was at a mounted tablet set up for the live on a tripod.  He tapped a few buttons on the screen.

“Okay.  We are live.”  He announced before moving to take his seat next to Han on one of the couches.

There wasn't enough air in the room.

~

Unwilling Alpha Taglist: @xxeiraxx @hanniemylovelyquokka @breadedloafs @songleepark @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @hyunjinhoexxx @kayleefriedchicken @vietjeb @hityoulikebahng @juju-227592 @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @royal-shinigami @bangchansfavoritenoona @straykidslvr @bookswillfindyouaway @h0rnyp0t @Svmmerstime @jennibahng @kpopandmusicpassion @jasmin-loves-k-pop @cookey-lock @possum-playground @demigoddreamon-blog @rei-reia @dreamerwasfound @jasmin-loves-k-pop @ms-flowergirl

[aprocessionofthoughts]

A Wayne or not a Wayne

whumptober24 day 24- radiation poisoning fandom- dp x dc tw- none summary- time to tour Wayne enterprises

masterlist ao3 part 3 of APvG

Danny sighed as they entered the last big business they’d be touring for the week. After this, it was a few more museums and landmarks and free time which they’d already decided was going to be spent exploring the major villains’ big bad hideouts like the Iceberg Lounge, Toxic Acres, and Ivy’s current hideout at the Botanical Gardens. 

But first they had to make it through a boring building tour. Well, Tucker and Wes were excited, though for different reasons. Tucker thought he might want to work here since it was one of the places with the best tech and was also one of the more ethical big corporations. Wes was excited because he wanted to see if he could spot more proof about the connection between the Waynes and the Bats.

But everyone else was bored. Well, at least they were until they got to one of the upper floors where a bunch of people were working at desks, and the employees stared at Danny.

Danny fidgeted uncomfortably.

“Do I have something on my face?” He whispered to Sam.

“Just your usual dorkish expression.”

Danny pouted. The employees started whispering amongst themselves.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you looked at it, Danny could hear them clearly.

“They think I’m a new Wayne kid.” Danny muttered. Stupid, smelly henchman thinking he was a Wayne was one thing, but wasn’t everyone here supposed to be really smart? Not to say henchmen weren’t smart, Danny didn’t judge people’s intelligence by their job unless they were stupid Fruitloops (cough cough Vlad cough), but still. He thought the people working at Wayne enterprises were supposed to be geniuses. And they should know the Waynes! Why would they think Danny was one?

His classmates started snickering as the ones with enhanced hearing whispered to the others about what the employees were saying. Sometimes the fact that most Amity Parkers were liminal made Danny’s life much more miserable. 

“Didn’t know you had a second secret identity, Mr. Wayne.” Wes whispered to him.

Danny scowled and subtly froze Wes’s sneakers to the ground.

He yelped as he fell forward and scowled at Danny who smirked back.

The tour guide continued on completely ignoring the class who had stopped to laugh and whisper amongst themselves. To be fair, they were completely ignoring the tour guide too. 

“If you’ll follow me this way,” the guide said motioning to a set of elevators, “we’ve got one more stop to make before the end of the tour. And we’ve got a big surprise for you.” (This last part was said with all the enthusiasm one might show at their friend’s ant farm’s funeral when you were the one who accidentally knocked the thing over and then promptly accused the cat who’d been licking its own booty at the time. That is to say, the tour guide was not very excited and spoke in such a deadpan way that would make dead guys jealous.)

Before they could click the button to summon the elevator, the doors opened and out walked a sleep deprived, black haired individual holding a large ceramic coffee mug that looked like it could hold a gallon of the precious life juice.

“That’s Timothy Jackson Drake Wayne!” Tucker hissed excitedly, his inner tech geek coming through at the sight of his idol and secret rival. (Tucker prided himself in making all of Amity’s tech, since most normal technology wouldn’t work in Amity due to the ectoradiation, but a boy could still admire a fellow tech genius.)

“Wow. Danny really does look like a Wayne.” Paulina whispered to Star.

“Are you sure Danny’s not actually related?” Sam asked. “They both look like they get no sleep and drink enough coffee to kill a small country.”

“Sleep’s for–” Danny started.

“The dead.” the class chorused with an abundance of over exaggerated eye rolls.

Danny pouted.

In front of them, Tim Drake was staring at Danny. He squinted his eyes. Danny squinted back. Tim tilted his head to the side. Danny mirrored him at the exact same time. Tim blinked, so did Danny. Tim took a sip of his coffee. Danny took a sip of his pretend coffee. (He wished it was real but he wasn’t stupid enough to actually make a wish even this far from Amity. You never knew where Desiree was.)

Tim shook his head, muttering under his breath about needing more espresso shots before he walked away.

The class had frozen at the strange exchange, but promptly burst into laughter as the older teen left.

—

On one of the top floors, in a recently vacated office, an alert sounded on the computer.

RADIATION DETECTED

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

A Game Of Cat And Mouse

Leona Kingscholar and Che’nya x Fem!Jerry Mouse!Reader 

Note: Reader is Yuu/The magicless Ramshackle Prefect from another world

I have a ton of WIPs that I really want to complete but to help motivate myself to finish them I decided to write this

So Jerry’s personality seems to fluctuate depending on his iteration so I’m just going to tone down his more sadistic tendencies and make him more like the early shorts where he’s more mischievous and acts when provoked instead of going out of his way to ruin Tom’s life for no reason. 

Honestly as a Tom girlie I felt so sorry for Thomas. There were times where that poor cat did not deserve what he went through - even when I was little I would root for him. Though this might just be an oldest child thing since my little sister and mum (who’s the youngest in her family) prefer Jerry.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR 

Honestly, his first impression of you wasn’t the best. Yeah, you’re a girl and he chugs gallons of respecting women juice for every meal but come on - you’re this tiny little mousegirl from another world who can’t even do magic (not to mention that he’s heard rumours that you don’t even speak that much). You’ll get eaten alive!

Then he met you and all of that went down the drain

The meeting went as it usually does: you stepped on his tail, he angrily confronts you (whilst subtly warning you of the dangers of NRC) but then you just give him this flat, unamused look.

“Hey pussycat,” you deadpan, raising an eyebrow and crossing your arms as you jut your chin up so you level him with a glare, “maybe don’t go leaving your tail lying around everywhere if you don’t want people to step on it.”

Okay, so maybe you weren’t the meek little mouse that he thought you were. Even the predators in his dorm don’t have the guts to talk back to him. Honestly, respect.

Then word gets out that you defeated an overblot and his opinion of you gets more and more favourable.

Long story short, you start dating after his overblot.

And it does cause a few turned heads.

And who can blame them? A lion going out with a mouse. That’s definitely something.

And to the untrained eye, it does sound concerning. But to those who know you (read: have been around you for more than five minutes)? Well, they’re praying for Leona’s sanity because you are nothing more than an agent of chaos.

There was this one time before you and Leona got together where a bunch of Savanaclaw predators were trying to push you, Ace, Deuce and Grim around and without even blinking you just pummelled all of them right then and there. At one point during the curb stomp battle you just pulled a mallet out of nowhere and just started thrashing everyone until they were black and blue. 

Congratulations the entire Savanaclaw dorm is terrified of you

All that training with Big Cousin Muscles really does wonders

NRC have two new rules: 1) don’t even think about going after the nagicless prefect because you will lose and even if you try to use magic she will dodge and it will be your funeral and 2) DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES hurt Ace, Deuce or Grim because that will probably be the last thing you ever do (memories of Jerry completely annihilating Tom after he hurt Nibbles are resurfacing)

One thing he admires about you is your cunning and intelligence and how you’re always a step ahead of everyone no matter what their plans are. Even when you do find yourself in trouble 

Even Rook Hunt has trouble trying to catch you. Don’t worry though, he’s far too fond of ‘petite mademoiselle souris’ to be irked by that.

He does get jealous of how close you are with Ruggie though. Since the hyena is also a greedy little thieving bugger like you, you have found a kindred spirit in him. The two of you bond over raiding the NRC kitchen and making off with as much as you can. And also taking the mickey out of Leona.

 You also get along great with Cheka. He’s noticed that you have a soft spot for children and other animals. The pro is that he gets his nephew off of his back by pawing him off to you (who he knows will make sure that no harm will come to him) the con is that you get along too well and your chaotic natures mixing will probably send him to an early grave - if your mischievous and provoking nature doesn’t already.

One thing he loves to do is tease you over your mouse-like qualities. Yeah, anyone with eyes can tell that you’re nowhere near as innocent as you look but those mouse ears, wide eyes, squeaks and cute little tail are objectively and indisputably adorable. He takes great pleasure in telling you how cute ‘his little mouse’ is, especially when you give such sweet reactions when you're flustered.

Though he does get taken aback by how bold you are. You definitely did that thing Jerry does where he holds mistletoe above his head and made kissing noises at Tom.

Your high pitched laugh makes his heart melt and he definitely uses his rich boy money to buy you all of the expensive cheese you can eat.

CHE’NYA

He loves you so much. Finally, someone he can be chaotic with - you’re a match made in hell.

His interest in you starts when he tries to sneak up on you whilst invisible but you pull one over him and just turn around, look directly into his unseeable eyes and sprAY WATER RIGHT ONTO HIS FACE-WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT SPRAY BOTTLE FROM????

At first he was pleasantly surprised before his face broke into a Cheshire Cat grin. He felt cupid’s arrow hit him square in the chest and he just looked at you with heart eyes.

By asking Trey and Cater and hiding in the rose maze, he gathered enough information to decide that you are his future wife

Turns out that your troublemaking antics have you paired with Ace and Floyd for the position of ‘bane of Riddle Rosehearts’ existence’. Mainly because everytime you break a rule you always, without fail, evade punishment by avoiding getting caught - even when you are clearly the culprit

Trey has bribed you with so many cheese based baked goods to stop you from sneaking into Heartslabyul and causing mayhem (you felt sorry for him so you promised him that you’ll only steal from the main kitchen near the cafeteria. That’s not what he meant but he’ll take it)

One day he catches you kidnapping the dorm’s pet dormouse before an unbirthday party so that you ‘can help your fellow mice by freeing them from their subjugation’. He shrugs and nods in understanding before asking you if he should let out the flamingos and hedgehogs from their pens as a distraction. 

And so a beautiful relationship was born as the two of you ran off with a tray of choux pastries and a bunch of angry card soldiers chasing you.

The two of you have a competition over who can sneak into and stay in Heartslabyul the longest without getting caught and you’re currently the winner.

He loves that you’re not scared of anyone and you’re not afraid to stand up to people that are almost quadruple your size. In fact, he’s there cheering you on whenever you fight back or plot your revenge (he does know that he has a whole other school to attend, right?). One time you showed him one of your revenge plans and he even helped you set the traps and everything. Oh the two of you working together has NRC running for the hills.

Like Leona, he does like to tease you but what do you expect? He’s a cat, you’re a mouse - that’s nature. Though he does love the fact that you’re always one step ahead of him whenever he does try to outsmart you. He loves a good puzzle and you certainly keep him on his toes.

[whumblr]

Bloody

The first time Whumpee had fainted after watching their own blood seep down their arm, Whumper had watched in silent amusement. Before realising that… well, this could be a bit of a pain.

So the second time he strapped them to a table and walked up with his knife at the ready, he came prepared.

Whumpee glanced at the knife and while their expression tightened, there was a hint of smugness crossing their face. Not much to torture when they’re out cold after just the first cut, Whumper had to admit.

But their face fell when Whumper held up the knife and a piece of black cloth dangled from the tip.

A blindfold.

“Figured we could see to what extent your fear of blood goes,” Whumper said, swinging the cloth back and forth until it slipped from the knife and draped over Whumpee’s collarbones.

“It’s not a fear of blood!” Whumpee bit, pulling at the leather straps binding them. “It just… happens,” they finished, less fierce.

“It happens…” Whumper mused. So this probably wasn’t the first time. “Have you ever tested it? Do you just go whoop when you see your own blood or is the sensation of it pumping out of your veins enough to pass out?”

Whumpee paused, their lips pressed together and their throat bobbed. “I… I don’t know,” they admitted.

“Let’s find out.”

He set the knife down on the table, deliberately placing it just next to Whumpee’s bound hand. If they struggled enough, maybe they could touch it with a pinky finger. Blindfold in hand, he leaned over them, easily slipped it over their head as they shook ‘no’ and they continued to shake their head even when the band fit snugly over their eyes. He shushed them gently, cupping their face with both hands, stopping them from shaking their head.

“Now, then…” His hand curled over the handle of the knife and as he lifted it he let the blade scrape over the surface with a scratchy shing to signal that he was about to start. And to draw a flinch from Whumpee. He grinned; now that they were dependent on their other senses, he wasn’t above helping out with that.

He rested the blade just under their shoulder where their deltoid curved, letting the cold touch seep into their skin before the sharp edge of the blade would follow.

A soft and surprised little yip sounded within their throat when the knife broke skin. Teeth clenched when he slid deeper, their chest heaving to keep their scream contained until he dragged the knife further through muscle and a broken gasp tore free.

Blood gushed along the stripe of the cut, streaming down their shoulder, tickling over skin.

A fist clenched. And Whumpee went white as a sheet.

But they didn’t pass out.

“You look like you already lost a gallon,” Whumper said with a smirk.

“Sh—shut up,” Whumpee shot back, but their voice was weak, high-pitched.

They tensed up when the blade rested against their arm again.

But Whumper merely held the flat of the blade under the cut, not yet breaking skin, and he caught a few thick drops of blood. Then he carefully brought the knife up, hovered it over Whumpee’s face, and watched as the red pooled closer to the tip. A single drop fell right onto their cheek.

And after an initial flinch, Whumpee completely stilled. To the point where Whumper thought that was it for the experiment.

But then a shivering inhale rasped past their lips.

“Don’t do that…” they managed to whisper.

“Don’t do what, dear?” Whumper drawled, smile creeping wider. He tapped a finger to the blade and watched a second drop fall right onto the blindfold. It drew out another twitch. The cloth absorbed the dark stain immediately, while the spatter on their face slowly rolled down their cheek. It sent a shudder through them as it tickled the underside of their ear and disappeared into their hair.

“That… the b—the blood, don’t—”

“It’s just a splash of water, love.”

“It’s not!”

Whumper grinned, fingertips swirling through the puddle of blood forming under their arm. “No,” he murmured in agreement, and he tapped two fingers slick with blood against their cheekbone. “It’s not.”

A strangled sound of anguish sounded in Whumpee’s throat as the two fingers slowly made its way down, leaving two cold stripes of red draped over their face.

Whumper watched them fondly. Amazing how the brain worked. It registered everything, from the warmth gushing out of their cut, to the splash on their face and it drying on their cheek. Yet it didn’t trigger that severe drop in blood pressure to make them check out.

With Whumpee blubbing their mouth like a fish on dry, heaving in shallow breaths yet none coming back out as cries, you’d think their level of emotional distress was at peak. But fight or flight was still overpowering everything. And oh, how they wished to fly; their wrists pulled tight against their bonds, straining as they hoped for the leather to give just a bit so they could slip free. Just a bit more, dear, and you’ll feel the blood bubble up there as well…

“Lost your voice?” Whumper purred.

His hand tightened over the cut and Whumpee screamed. Ah, no, still there. But they immediately fell silent when that same hand gripped their jaw tight. Fingers sleek with blood dug into the side of their jaw, just under their ear.

“That’s right,” Whumper crooned. He let a fresh drop fall onto his thumb and pressed it against their lips. “Just… shush.”

Their lips, slightly parted in despair, immediately pressed tight into a thin stripe. And with a grin, Whumper took advantage. He slowly smeared the drop over both their lips, coating them in red.

“You might wanna lick your lips. Seems a bit dry to me.”

Every little gasp had indeed made their lips uncomfortably dry, blood now seeping into the cracks, immediately drying and making things even worse. As Whumper pulled back, he could see them hesitate, fighting the automatic response of their tongue wanting to offer a bit of relief.

Those beautiful red lips trembled hard, and their chin started to quiver as well.

The underside of the blindfold started getting wet. Tears trickled out from underneath, mixing with the red stripes over their cheeks, breaking them up and a drop pooled on the edge of their jaw, tinted with a hue of red.

“P-p-please…” The word puffed past quivering lips. “Stop. Just… just cut me up like you wanted, but… stop…”

“Ah.” Whumper feigned his surprise, though he didn’t have to hide his grin, growing wolfishly large. “Right. I think we both got a little distracted.”

He scraped the knife over the table again before resting it against their arm, slowly moving up and increasing the pressure. “Let’s tap out some more.”

-

General whump tags: @firewheeesky @myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19 @whumpawink @painsandconfusion @whumpifi @auroragehenna @oprhan

[smollbean42905]

Could you write something about Carl going out on a run and finding a teddy bear he brings back to you as a gift?

Teddy

Carl Grimes, son of Rick Grimes and lover of you, was out on a run with his father. The father and son duo walk in a comfortable silence, their guns drawn and ready to aim at anything that could cause harm. They were in a new town about an hour away from Alexandria so the two were more cautious than usual.

"Is there a list?" Carl asks his father gently

"Just anything we can find, I guess" Rick shrugs slightly as his eyes dart around tentatively. They go into what looked like a grocery store, the town was small so the store looked more like a convenience store then anything. The windows were boarded up and the door was hanging off of the hinges. Rick goes in first while Carl watches outside, the father gives his son the clear and Carl rushs inside.

"Time to look around" Carl mumbles to himself. He knew you have been having a bad time lately and have been in a funk. Carl was hoping to find something to make you smile, Rick knew of this and focused more on gathering supplies while his son found something did you. The two split up in the small store and quickly scan around the building, they find some cans and a gallon of water before moving back outside. They can feel the wind against their skin as they go to the next building, it looked like it was in ruins so onto the next they went. It was a small home. Maybe 2 bedroom, one bath and it was one floor. They went inside quietly and checked each room to make sure no walkers or people were in it before beginning their search of the home. Rick handles the living room, kitchen, and dining room while Carl looks through the bedrooms and bathroom plus any closets. He starts with the closets finding a fluffy blanket for you, it was still nice and folded up. The blanket itself was black and looked to be a good size to cuddle in. He goes into the bathroom next and finds some pain meds as well as old mouthwash

"Ew" he whispers and puts that away before ending his search of the bathroom. He goes into the first bedroom, it was the parents room, their room was a mess,

"And I thought I was messy" he whispers again and looks around finding nothing but a pretty necklace, as he looks closer at it he can see that some of the metal is broken

"Hm" he puts it into his pocket for now then goes it into the final bedroom. The children's room. Inside was a large but broken bunk bed, the different sheets on the bed showing it was a boy and a girl. He goes through the closet first finding nothing but a bunch of old toys. He spots in the rubble of the bed was some fluff. He goes over and moves a piece of wood seeing a dusty teddy bear. Carl always called you his teddy bear from how you cling to him at night so he thought this was perfect.

"Just some cleaning and this will be perfect" he thinks to himself and finishes up in the room before going back out. He sees Rick finishing up as well.

"Find anything interesting?" Rick asks his son

"A blanket and a teddy bear as well as some pain meds. You?" Rick nods knowing who the blanket and teddy bear were for and speaks,

"I found a few bottles of water, some batteries and bandages. This place is clean"

"Should we continue into the next houses?"

"No, it's gonna get dark soon. We should head back" Carl nods at his father and they begin their trek back to Alexandria. They get back to the large gates as nightfall hits, they're let inside and separate after Carl hands Rick the items he found beside the blanket and teddy bear. He goes to the lake and quickly washed the teddy bear and shakes it quickly to try and dry it off. He starts to shake it aggressively to quicken up the drying process. The bear is about 90% dry by the time his arms get tired from aggressively flailing the bear around. He stands and goes to his house where he knows you're waiting, you can't sleep without him so he rushed home knowing you like to sleep early.

  Carl through the house and up to his room where he sees you, dressed in one of his flannels and curled around his pillow with your eyes closed. He knew you weren't asleep, a small smile forms on his thin lips. He slowly walks over to you and sets the blanket and teddy bear down. He unfolds the blanket and lays it over you, your eyes open from the sudden feeling.

  "Carl?" You whisper softly as your eyes adjust in the dark

  "It's me Bear" he comes more into view and smiles making you smile slightly. He grabs the teddy bear and show you it

  "Look at what I found for you, a Teddy bear for my Teddybear." He wiggles it a bit and puts it close to you. You smile brightly at the sight

  "Thank you" you were never able to save your childhood bear so this meant a lot to you.

  "Your welcome bear now let me into the cuddle zone" he says playfully and you open the blanket for him to snuggle into. He takes off his shoes and pants then takes off his flannel and shirt, so he's only wearing his boxer shorts. He gets all cozy under the blanket and hugs you close to his chest and holds the teddy up. He makes the teddy dance a bit to make you smile. He smiles at the lovely sight of the corners of your lips turn up in a sleepy smile. He can see you yawn so he hugs you and the teddy closer as you fall asleep in his arms.

[the-kr8tor]

Cowboy hobie request you say? How about we say yes. We both need a cowboy hobie with a new reader to the town/community and him helping them out 💳💥

Cowboy hobie also definitely has a fully black gorgeous horse

*squeals* cowboy! Hobie!!! Thank you for requesting 🫶

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Tags: use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader (except for her clothing), cowboy AU, Western AU, crush at first sight for the reader. FLUFF.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The sun bares down on you, The air is thicker, humid, almost choking you whenever you step outside. Heavy luggages waits for you out in your new lawn, a good twelve feet away from your front door. Maybe you should've paid extra for the movers to help you.

Wiping the sweat off your brow, you heave a bag in your arms, the contents clinking together as you lift it up. You could do with some help right about now.

“Need help?”

As if some sort of divine intervention, a deep voice asks behind you, an unmistakable whinny of a horse echoes out in the barren space. At first you thought it would be an outlaw after your stuff but the genuine concern in the stranger's voice fills you with ease.

Turning around, you're greeted by a large black stallion, its silver saddle glinting in the sun, the horse's coat shining like black pearls. Flicking your eyes upwards, you see a leather clad cowboy, his eyes hidden behind the brim of his cherry red ten-gallon hat. The smile on his face makes you want to take his offer.

“You got sand in your ears?” he continued, grimacing when his choice of wording was a bit too harsh for a stranger.

“D’you need my help?” he asks softer and kinder this time. Maybe he should go out more often, his social skills are shot like a bottle in a shooting range.

“I–” you look back at the numerous bags at your feet. “I don't know– I mean thank you but I can handle it.” Based on his accent, he's not from this side of the world, someone who wanted a fresh start, just like you.

You've got a good reason to be apprehensive, you're situated in the middle of nowhere, if this man is actually an outlaw then there's no one who would come to your rescue, with only the buffaloes as your witness. Despite his handsome smile, you see his six shooter strapped on his belt, the sight alone makes you nervous to accept his help.

“That's bare of bags.” With one swift movement, he gets off his horse, spurs clinking, boots thudding on the dusty ground. He takes off his hat to properly greet you.

Saying he's handsome is an understatement. His face is chiseled, a jaw that can cut a rock, irises as green as the grass and the finest jade. Silver piercings and studs add an edge to his handsome face. You can't believe you're ogling a stranger.

“Welcome to the neighborhood,” he gestures around the empty space with your little farm situated in the middle of nothing but grass and dirt. “Name's Hobie, Hobie Brown”

Hobie, you test his name in your mind, repeating it so you could memorize it. “Mr. Brown, I–”

“Just Hobie's fine.” He chuckles, mindlessly twirling the hat in his gloved hands.

“Hobie, what exactly did you say about the neighborhood? Or the lack of it” you look around the field.

“I live down over there.” he points to the left, you follow it with your eyes, squinting, you see a black dot in the distance. You guess that's his house.

“That's incredibly far” you turn back towards him, fixing your hold on the bag.

“Ain't that far with my old boy,” he twists around, patting the horse on his snout. “Right, Velvet?” Velvet shoves Hobie lightly.

You smile as the horse snorts, his exhale hits Hobie right on his face. He pushes Velvet’s face away, the stallion nods like he's laughing after making fun of his rider in front of you.

“I swear this horse,” Hobie shakes his head with a smile. “So now you know me ma’am, may I help you with your bags?”

The bag almost falls from your arms when he calls you ma’am. “Oh you don't need to call me that,” the warmth in your cheeks isn't from the summer sun. “Just Y/N is fine.”

“Y/N” your name rolls off his tongue smoothly. Hobie grins, “I promise I don't bite. Velvet on the other hand.” Said horse whinnies like he's offended by what Hobie said.

“Alright, good sir.” You internally cringe, Hobie laughs, the sound sending butterflies in your stomach. “Y-you can help me with my bags as long as you stay after for some lemonade?” You take your chance with the handsome cowboy.

“Lemonde? I haven't had that in a while.” you think you've made a fool of yourself. “Sure, Let me have this then.” he takes your heavy bag from you, carrying it effortlessly. With his boot, he loops it around the strap of a bag on the floor, kicking it up in the air before catching it in his arm all suave.

Hobie has no idea the effect he has on you.

You're sweating like a sinner in church, blouse sticking to your skin like glue on paper. Maybe you shouldn't have asked him to stay after because you have no idea how to survive the day without melting whenever he smiles at you.

You get a whiff of leather and sandalwood as he passes by. He looks over his shoulder, “You comin'?”

“Y-yes” oh you know you're already smitten.

[brewed-pangolin]

Is Captain MacTavish also a gym rat? If so, please explain...in detail 🫠😉

Captain MacTavish is absolutely a gym rat. But unlike the maniacal menace that is Sgt. Gym Rat Soap, this beast is much more refined, disciplined, and methodical.

And the best damn eye candy you've ever seen while you focus on your own routine.

Just a sprinkle of NSFW at the end...

Pulled a bit from this post by @obligatoryghoststare

--

Wardrobe

First of all, he'd rather be caught dead than wear a pair of high thigh gym shorts. This man is always well put together, even while pumping iron at the local fitness center.

And he is a walking billboard for Under Armor.

Prefers more natural colors for his outfit; black, grey, royal blue, forest green. Nothing eye catching or brighter than an earthy hue. Doesn't need to draw more attention to himself. His sculpted body does that enough.

Compression shorts are a must. Pulls the sweat, keeps him dry, and holds everything in place. (Man's got a healthy Lorne sausage to contend with)

Topped with a fitted muscle shirt, of the same color. The Captain must have synchronization with his wardrobe. Always. (Well put together, like previously stated)

He's always going to wear darker tones with the compression fabric, mainly because he likes to overlay that with something more lose fitting and in a softer hue (think whites, light grays, may dabble in some soft blues or greens)

And while not technically wardrobe, will always have a half gallon steel water bottle within reach. Hydration is key.

Routine

Captain MacTavish is the epitome of methodical routines when it comes to gym. He's like clockwork.

His mid routine will change depending on the week (leg day, arm day, chest, back, weights, you get the idea) but his beginning and end are always the same.

First and foremost, stretching. The most important part of a workout.

Next, treadmill. 30 minutes. No more, no less. And this beast looks majestic while he runs. Perfect strides, breathing heavy yet measured. Just a beautiful sight to behold.

And this mofo sweats. Not an obscene amount, just enough to make him glisten. (Sparkling sexy beast)

Now, bulking up. Weights. Soap uses both free weights and strengthening machines, for obvious reasons. Free weights for compound movements, machines for isolating certain muscle groups.

You'd think he'd be loud during his weight training, but no. He's classy. And he's not rude. He may let out a few heavy breaths and an occasional low growl, but nothing too audible. He's already got countless eyes on him, no reason to bring in more attention.

Enjoys his time on the rowing machine. Prefers it after a his weight training. Aids in recovery, calms his mind. Builds his endurance. (And this man's all about endurance)

Lives for the circuit.

[2min/station, 1min rest b/w, 2 loops]

[Pull ups, planks, tire/sledgehammer, kettle lifts]

Pulled straight from his journal

The Captain is in his natural environment when perfecting and strengthening his mind and body. Goes into a daze. Movement remiscent to a skilled predator. It's a sight every gym enthusiast pushes to achieve, and every casual enjoyed drinks in to the fullest

Recovery

His recovery will change depending on his core routine for the day. Sometimes he finishes with a light jog or brisk walk on the treadmill again.

Perhaps even go another round on the rowing machine. Helps him clear the daze and focus his mind in preparation for the next phase.

But it culminates to a relaxing session of yoga because this man knows the benefits of centering himself post pump and grind.

And this is where you come in. He's more than happy to assist in perfecting your downward dog in the process while he lets his body recover from a rough workout.

Expect to be pulled into a private room once he's all limbered up after his full exercise session. Nothing quite like finishing his routine by emptying himself in your needy little hole. (Post endurance high nut is his favorite, afterall)

Captain MacTavish Masterlist

[puddle-nerd]

Next Go Round

Summary: It was Miles’ first rut and at this point… you were ready to tap out until he came up with a solution. (Recombinant Miles/Human Female Reader)

Prompt #2 (Titty Fucking) for Avatar12DaysofKinkmas2023.

Story Tags: No use of Y/N, Titty Fucking, Female Reader, A/B/O, Established Relationship, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Sex

AO3 Link

A few months ago, you were considered to be ‘nothing but a lowly nurse’, assisting with the freshly awakened recombinants getting used to their newer, bigger, bluer bodies. It was that same few months ago that you were very, very single and relying on your fingers and your toys to get yourself off, whenever you weren’t too exhausted at the end of the day to do so. That is, until the colonel started to take notice of you during one of his routine checkups. It just so happened that you were ovulating while simultaneously crushing on him. After that, you weren’t just a nurse… and you were no longer single.

Not in the least.

Especially not now with his first rut underway and hitting him hard.

“Oh fuck, Miles,” you whined, slumping heavily against the Na’vi-sized military-issue bed and trying desperately to catch your breath, you skin shining with sweat and other bodily fluids. “Holy shit… I don’t…” you huffed, “I don’t know if I have another round in me. ‘M getting sore.” Your cunt had been stuffed full and your womb had been filled over and over with near on at least a gallon and a half of cum for the last… Your head lolled to the side and you squinted at his clock to check the time and your mouth hung open in utter shock.

Almost five hours!?

The huge recombinant chuckled breathlessly and leaned onto his side, his chest heaving as much as yours. He grunted, tail flicking over your bare legs, the black tuft tickling your sweaty skin. “Can’t seem t’stop, cupcake,” he sighed, his firm shaft like a warm rod of steel against your hip. “No matter how much jizz I dump into yer cute li’l pussy, I need more.” His golden eyes roved over your curves and his fangs peeked out at you as he smirked, an idea forming on his face as his gaze settled on your breasts. “Hmmm, I think I got a solution fer the problem, if ya can’t take me in yer cunt at the moment.”

You hummed, your eyes feeling a bit heavy as you forced yourself to look up at him. “Yeah, baby?” you asked. “What solution do you have?”

Miles sighed heavily and shoved himself up to his knees, his tail lashing in eager anticipation, towering above you like a sapphire colossus until he swung a knee over you and straddled your belly. And it immediately clicked what he was proposing, with his thick cock sticking straight out of his pelvis, his balls swollen and full despite how many times he had emptied it into and onto you in the last several hours. The pink tip was leaking steadily onto your breasts. “Wanna use those perfect titties o’ yours t’help me dump more out an’ ease the ache, sweetheart. Ya game?”

You nodded, “Yeah, Miles. Whatever you need.”

Your lover smirked widely at your agreement, his cropped ears and his tail both twitching in renewed excitement as he leaned over to his nightstand, grabbing the mostly empty bottle of lube and dumping the rest of it onto your chest, specifically between your breasts that he loved so much. Your boobs were littered heavily with a multitude of bruising hickies and bite marks in Miles’ show of over-possessive worship from earlier. With a wicked leer, he tossed the now empty bottle carelessly over his shoulder, the plastic cracking as it bounced off the metal floor.

“Okay, cupcake, push yer tits together fer me,” Miles murmured.

With heavy arms, you grabbed the sides of your breasts and pushed them together for your lover’s benefit, shooting him a smile as he carefully bent down and slid his shaft into the tight, little canal, you had created for him with a quiet moan. The lavender tip of his cock butted up against your chin each time he pressed himself forward, his hairless balls dragging against your belly with each thrust, causing you to open your mouth and stick out your tongue to give experimental kitten licks to the slit. His answering shuddering moan made you feel powerful and you did it again. Miles’ pace sped up to near frantic at that, groaning as you continued to lap at the mushroomy head as best as you can until a moment later, he was jerking his head back as his cock spurted, thin ropes of seed spattering over your chest, your collarbone, your shoulders, and your chin, much less than the start of his rut and maybe a clue that it was finally winding down. Or something.

Miles shuddered above you, his blue cock twitching as the last of his cum finally dribbled weakly out of his slit and onto your body. “Ha, thank you, cupcake,” he panted, grinning down at you. “I think… that actually helped… some.”

𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸

Originally Posted: 15 December 2023

Word Count: 805

AO3 Link

[razzellyn]

Cuddles!!

No tricks this time!! Just fluffy cuddle session!!!

Part 2!!!!

MCB

Part 1 here!!!

Notes in the end!!!

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Dexter

• Oh he's a cuddle bug. He doesn't act like it, but he's very cuddly at times. He also doesn't really mind when someone sees you two, still would prefer to be in private though.

• Sometimes the two of you cuddle while nature/bird watching. He often points out the little creatures that the two of you could find and then share fun facts about them. He yaps like that only to the people he trusts.

• More often than not he bombards you with kisses all over your face. How? By pressing his face against yours of course!

Fleta Z

• He's a bit hesitant for some reason, but once you've convinced him he's actually very into it. He also takes this time to learn more about you! Maybe even sway your heart with a compliment or two.

• Not overly cuddly, but he will smother you in affection. In fact, he's not leaving you alone until you give him his daily hugs.

• Soft kith after every cuddle/hugs. No backing out from him! He will hunt you down (not literally). Quite the gentleman while he kissed you. Very gentle indeed.

Wild Guardy

• What's a cuddle?

• Jk, he knows what cuddle is. He just doesn't know what to think of it. You'll have to slowly introduce him to the concept too, start by holding his hands and then side-hug him, etc.

• Overtime he does gets comfortable and decided to cuddle. He's awkward and terribly nervous about it, but he's doing great. Be patient with him okay?

• He usually asks for cuddles when either of you are stressed out about something or just having a terrible day in general. Surprise him with a peck on his cheek too, that helps him greatly.

Buffalo Crush

• Absolute cuddle bug. You might be crushed under his strength, but don't worry, he always apologizes after. Oh and please hug him daily, he loves it.

• He is also the one to DRAG you to a cuddle if he thinks you haven't spend much time with him yet. Though he will be a bit shy about it at first. He just loves being close to you okay!!!

• Unfortunately he's hard to be pushed away once you do cuddle. It was either him or the world. The world, which means letting him hug you to death. Him, which means leaving him to sulk in the corner.

Buster Gallon

• He'll make a comment about how it's a waste of time and is a useless thing to do, but then when you pull him into a hug he puts his entire weight on you and cuddles you like crazy.

• The cuddle doesn't end until he says so. Well you could just bribe him with a kiss or two if you want to be freed, but that's a 50/50 chance. He's tired of Black Dan's bullsh t man let him be.

• He also lets go when someone randomly comes in on you two cuddling. If they make fun of you two, he's hunting them down. If they don't make a single comment, he just lets them be. He's got a red face though so that's something.

Black Hook

• It's also a 50/50 situation with him. He'd either be immediately into it or he thinks it's stupid and leaves. Let's be real, his actions depends on his mood.

• That being said, despite being the leader of his team, he's quite gentle with holding you. Unless he's been feeling a bit down, he's going to cuddle you until death.

• Don't expect to be treated like a royalty though, he's a pirate not a servant. He's going to cuddle you whenever and wherever he wants to. Yes, even in mid air, however that works.

Heavy Iron

• Definitely thinks he's better as a big spoon than a small spoon. Well he's true, but he's definitely more 'cuter' as a small spoon. He won't admit it but you will.

• He'll hug you when he feels like it, or you're genuinely in one of your less preferred moods. That being said, if he was also in one of his preferred moods, a quick cuddle does well in calming him down.

• The same as the two above, it's a 50/50 situation with him unfortunately. He's not exactly a lovey dovey type so... don't expect much out of him.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

First of all, i would just like to say

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Secon of all, i am SO SOSOSOSOSOS SORRY for being gone for MONTHS

eugh I'm so lazy at times and so busy at the same time it's FKALRBSOCNW

No srsly I'm so sorry

I'M SORRY

I'm sorrryysyaurhisyroah 😭😭😭

Anyways hope y'all like this part 😋

[eldritch-spouse]

Krulu just subtly putting a piece of paper on the back of admins skirt that says "use me" and letting her go about her work unaware

[Fuck yeah, that's the shit.]

Guess who's bending you over first? Sybastian.

He's always the first to get into the break room at the start of a shift, so when he sees you walk in fresh with that note, he's being the opportunistic little shit he always is and bending you over the counter of that small kitchenette to stuff you with cock. You don't even know what's happening, but there's a sweet lulling mumur in the back of your mind telling you to let it happen and enjoy yourself. So you do.

By the time Grimbly walks in, Syb is close to finishing and only hurries up in case the bat's here to steal you from him. Naturally, the waiter's more than a bit scandalized, but he understands what's going on when he catches a flash of the note on your clothes. So, of course, he more than a little forcefully tugs the top of your outfit away so he can fondle your tits and go to town. He has the decency to apologize and smile sheepishly as he fucks himself between your breasts.

Eventually, news of what's happening spreads. And the first to hunt you down is obviously Santi. He's barelling through the floors and pumping out pheromones the moment he sees you, making the most out of the opportunity to fuck you stupid in front of clientele and make sure you're a drooling mess. He leaves sloppy kisses everywhere before letting you rest on the bar counter.

And Gallon picks you up swiftly, of course. You need a little break, how about he envelops you like a big warm blanket, and you don't have to think about anything for a while except how good it feels to have his cock and several tendrils inside you?

Fank-e's no fool, he's prying you out of Gallon with the force only a man of metal could sport. You get to hang off his head tubes while he grinds into you with an unshakable, merciless rhythm. When the video is saved, he lets you off with his cock detached, buzzing inside you.

Someway, somehow, you'll end up in Morell's kitchen, likely tugged inside when the cook sees you passing by. You don't even get to say a word, he's making you hang onto a bloody meat hook for dear life while he plows you from behind like he intends to put a child in you.

Your legs hurt by the time you make it to the shop, trying to actually get work done. Naturally, Nebul's more interested in making you model different toys for the clients currently present, including several ropes and tentacle toys. You get fingered nice and sweet for behaving.

Belo eventually catches you outside, and while he's upset that none of his coworkers are being decent to you, he guiltily begs for a quickie against the wall before fixing you up to the best of his ability.

Vinnel grabs you like a hawk. You're made to put on a stupid slutty and colorful dress, the note reattached to it, before he introduces you to his stage and audience. You leave bruised, cut, sore and coated in his strange black cum after he shoots a load on your face as the finishing act.

Patches eventually weasels you into his laboratory with gentle conversation, though once you're there, he uses vines to tie your ankles and wrists, taking advantage of you wriggling on the floor to drape over your body and fuck your sloppy hole, moaning about how gross it all is and how he doesn't mind being the last one because you look really cute and hot when you're totally disoriented and fuckdrunk.

You eventually manage to get yourself free and standing, trying to fix your mess of a look before heading to your Lord-Master's side. Krulu sits on his altar with a vaguely satisfied look of second-hand afterglow. You're praised heavily for your work thus far, but the higher claims you haven't dealt with everyone yet.

You understand what he's talking about when you're manually transported to the aquarium floor. And he tells you to come back after you've been to the garden as well.

Oh, the things you do for your savior.

[harmonysanreads]

Can we get more yan vamp alhaitham? (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

About how he feeds on reader once he got the go signal, yk like his favorites spot to bite, how long and often does he feed, does he like to take it slow or make it fast and maybe like how he takes care of reader once he's done omg (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

I see you've fallen in brainrot hell as well :^ welcome welcome now I'm not alone anymore mwahahahaha

cw(s): yandere, blood, biting

art credit to MiotaWorks on Twitter

「 au masterlist 」

Alhaitham restrained himself for as long as he could, not because your blood was unappealing (good heavens, no, he'd much rather consume a gallon of soup and die than utter such falsehood) but rather that he knew he wouldn't be able to stop should he even get a drop of a taste.

Despite all talk of the Vampire Lords' refined reign, Alhaitham knows that no matter the effort, in the end ; black takes no other hue. His stern countenance masks the greater proportion of his carnal urges but Alhaitham knows there slumbers a shackled avarice deep inside his psyche. He knows there looms an undeniable proprietorial shadow over anything that has the misfortune of attracting his attention. Keeping a human with such enticing blood at arms reach is, a stupid decision when he also doesn't intend to drink from them. Well, not as soon as you'd expect at least. Lest he scares you more and ruins the most vital step of his plan — no, that simply can't be allowed.

Fortunately for you, his hands aren't as calloused as his heart.

Regardless of where he decides to bite, he'll always have one arm around your waist to hold you up and the other on a pulse point (by the side of your neck or wrist), so that, he knows when to stop. Humans are fragile, this he'd cared enough to understand on a factual basis thus far. But, when he has you on his lap, teeth sunken deep into the soft flesh of your neck and the metronomic throb of your pulse against his thumb, slowing the longer he decides to feed — he finally manages to grasp the full extent of it and a part of him is terrified, perhaps for the first time.

Alhaitham treats you in a way his most valued book would be jealous of (if it could), with such delicacy even he was unaccustomed to. There is an unexpected beauty even in shattered glass, but the vampire does not want you broken and putty for him to rearrange as he pleases, that's not the you he's fallen beyond saving for. He wants you in your pristine entirety — complacent to the few of his vital orders but, the you that makes him believe this world isn't so wretched, nonetheless. Alhaitham's innermost desire is an unperturbed life achieved by the grandiose plan he's drafted and he loathes the possibility of it facing such ruination by a wee mishap of his, especially as it's clear to him that you're the final, missing thus far puzzle piece of it.

(More explanation on this in a later post.)

The most difficult part of any endeavor is getting started and for Alhaitham, that might've been his very first taste of your blood. You still think back to that moment and wonder what exactly compelled you to give him permission out of your own volition : was it that this.. creature had ultimately saved your miserable life and brought you in one far more comfortable and secure than you've ever had? Was it his patience and understanding that contradicted every perception you've had for his kind? Or, was it the gratitude built from all of Alhaitham's actions that urged you to bare your skin as he'd crashed onto the sofa beside you after disappearing for a week-worth mission, starved and ready to shrivel up should his much needed meal be delayed further?

Perhaps it's all of them, perhaps it's just your too-good-for-this-world heart that constantly makes you a target of people's greed. Whatever it was, matters no more since you're already too deep in Alhaitham's grasp. See, there's this thing many people delude ; when a vampire feeds, pain is not the only thing felt and when one drowns in those feelings for too long, they become their friend. You've sunken so far that the cause of that decision merely floats through your head ; but never have you wondered why a treasured and crucial vampire such as Alhaitham would ever starve out of nowhere or why his stock of blood at home had miraculously emptied before he left and soon enough, this itsy-bitsy clarity would be sullied, too.

As for the vampire in question, he'd taken much longer time exploring and getting accustomed to your physique. Finding weak points that'd make you whimper, shiver, whine ; elicit any kind of reaction for short and it's an experiment he doesn't mind — scratch that, looks forward to assess forever.

When he deems the timing appropriate, Alhaitham gets bolder ; biting just a little bit harder in harmless teasing or staying in that position without taking blood just to see what you'll do or say. Nothing that'll reduce you to crying or anything. There's an instance where it could happen though ; all it'd take is a mention of the outside world or your previous life — perchance curiosity overtakes you. Worry not, for Alhaitham will always pepper the hurt with kisses at the end.

As much as the vampire would love to sustain himself through your blood solely, he knows your body wouldn't be able to handle that. Your health and safety is his top priority, so he's content with getting a sip once a day (preferably before your bedtime). Once, you actually fell asleep from sheer lethargy on his bed and woke up to see an Alhaitham, still as a statue beneath your form ; he couldn't dare move a muscle because you looked so at peace :( After the blur of your flustered apologies passes, he insists you just sleep on his bed from now, saves you so much energy, no? Yet again, another step crossed from his list.

Alhaitham prefers drinking slow, undoubtedly. He's all the time in the world and with the limited amount he already takes, he wouldn't want even an atom to be wasted. As for his favourite spot to bite, he really doesn't mind as long as it's you. Leaning more towards the neck because he gets to hold you incredibly close and can hear your racing heartbeat. But, if you'd be generous enough to let him kneel down and sink his fangs into the soft flesh of your thigh — he'd be the happiest vampire ever. Hm, time will tell.

In summary, you don't need to fret over anything in Vampire Alhaitham's care ; as long as you abandon everything he deems unnecessary and as a hindrance, you'll be the happiest human as well.

[229zmi]

MISSION: ACCOMPLISHED

PAIRING: Nagi Seishirō/Reader

CONTENT: holding hands, wingman mikage reo

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

The night of Halloween finds a group of three in your room, underneath the dim glow of your ceiling light.

In one corner, Reo hogs the space in front of your full-length mirror, almost nose-to-nose with his own reflection as he prods at the plastic fangs in his mouth, unsatisfied with how they fit across his teeth like a shoe three sizes too big. His eyebrows look as if they’ve been filled in with black marker by a child learning to colour inside the lines for the first time, and the splotchy white facepaint all across his skin isn’t making things any better.

Despite whatever intentions he may have of impressing people tonight with his DIY costume, you think he looks more unhinged than anything else. More of a jumpscare than a sight to behold, and more clown than vampire, as far as you’re concerned. You whisper your opinions to Nagi, and with a noncommittal nod, he agrees.

Speaking of Nagi, there he is: sprawled on top of your bed, stomach facing down. His head is in his arms, although once in a while, curiosity drives him to peek over his forearms and glance in your general direction, where you’re sitting cross-legged on the floor. With your posture mimicking that of a desk lamp, there’s an expression of concentration on your face that Nagi finds endearing, even though he doesn’t understand why you’re putting so much effort into vandalising a Halloween costume that’s not even yours.

Because in your eyes, simply draping a white sheet of fabric over his head could hardly be considered a costume, so you’ve taken it upon yourself to fix it up a bit with some dry erase marker, drawing in some distorted ovals for eyes and a mouth to make it look a little less… last-minute.

“I’m done,” you declare at the same time Reo does, your purple-haired friend finally turning away from the mirror for the first time in almost two hours. He looks proud of himself.

“How do I look?” Reo wiggles his eyebrows, gaze flitting between his two friends for a response. However, it’s by mere coincidence that Nagi expects you to be the one to respond on the behalf of you two just as you expect him to do the same, so you end up looking off to the side while Nagi shuts his eyes, the both of you purposefully avoiding eye contact with Reo and waiting for the other to say something.

After an agonisingly long minute of silence, you realise what’s going on and internally let out a dramatic groan.

“Reo,” you say finally, “what are you supposed to be?”

Reo frowns, pointing to his fangs. “Can’t you see? And I told you already. I’m a vampire, duh.” He holds his hands up, mimicking claws for some reason. “Rawr, or whatever.”

“Vampires don’t rawr, what the fuck is wrong with you.”

“Then what do they do? Huh? If you’re so genius.”

You grab a pillow from underneath Nagi’s arms, whose face contorts into a frown but he doesn’t say anything else when you proceed to fling it at Reo. You’re aware that him being an athlete sort of comes with quick reflexes and that he’s just allowing you the satisfaction when he lets the pillow hit his face and fall to his lap, but you’d rather believe you caught him off guard this time around.

“I don’t think vampires do that,” Reo says.

With all of your heart, you hope he somehow contracts an allergic reaction from the facepaint he’s using. And his hair falls out from the gallons of gel in it.

Turning to Nagi, you toss the costume over his head.

“What d’ya think?”

“It’s creative,” Nagi comments, with the white fabric obscuring his view. You’ve also taken the artistic liberty of cutting small eye holes into the sheet (with his permission, of course) for him to see out, but he doesn’t bother trying to readjust it, leaving the ghost’s eyes near the top of his head and the mouth somewhere by his left ear.

“Looks great. You really did a lot for his costume,” Reo adds, snickering from the far corner of the room before turning back to the mirror with a pout as he picks at the facepaint, which is now starting to flake off like dandruff. His eyebrows still don’t quite look right.

You shake your head, then scooch closer to the side of your bed. “Sei, you’re supposed to— the black eyes go, you know, where your eyes are. There’s holes so you can see.”

“So much effort just to put my Halloween costume on…” Nagi sighs, and then instead of moving the sheet of fabric around like any sane person would, he uses his arms to lift it up, stopping just above his eyebrows. A pair of ashen eyes centre on you, still sitting cross-legged on the floor as he suddenly drops his hands, letting the fabric drape over your head and shoulders. “Done. I can see now.”

Fighting back an eye roll, you tell him firmly, “No, you cannot.”

“I can see you just fine.”

“Yeah, only me.”

“I’m okay with that.”

You avert eye contact, ignoring the way your face feels tingly with his breath fanning across your skin. “You won’t be okay when you bump into a street lamp or something while trick-or-treating.”

“Hmm…” His expression twists into one of full concentration. Lazily, he grabs another pillow and manoeuvres it so that the side of his face can rest atop it, gazing down at you. “Then you can be my eyes.”

You blink, perplexed by what he means. “Huh.”

“I’ll hold onto your hand, and you can guide me so I don’t bump into or trip over anything,” Nagi suggests, nonchalant as per usual.

“That is—“ You clear your throat, swallowing thickly. You tell yourself: this is normal. Nothing special or unusual or cryptic. There are no other implications behind his words. Do not overthink. (You’re so overthinking it.) “That’s a lot more effort than if you just wear the costume right.”

“Maybe he just wants to hold your hand,” a voice speaks out loud your thoughts, though it sounds less like your subconscious and more like a certain friend— shit, you’ve forgotten that Reo is still in the room. With ears to hear your conversation and eyes to see… “I really hope you two aren’t kissing in there because that’d be real awkward. You could at least have some decency to tell me to leave.”

Upon the realisation that you and Nagi’s current situation could come off as something it’s totally not, you jump away immediately, pulling the sheet off and chucking it away from the both of you as far as you can.

“We were not doing that— shut up,” you splutter. Glowering at him, you latch onto the pillow beneath the Nagi’s head in preparation to throw it at him once again.

“Oh, so you were kissing,” Reo muses with a grin. “You’re all breathless and shit. And Nagi looks like someone just spray-painted his face pink.”

Before you can say anything, Nagi slightly lifts his head off the pillow, and you take that as your signal to hurl it at Reo’s face.

Unfortunately, with some notable prediction and athletic skills, he catches it with one hand. He flashes a smug smile, one that you think will haunt your nightmares for as long as you live, fucked up eyebrows and all.

“Get out.”

“Fine! Fine. I see how it is.” Reo throw his hands up in mock-exasperation, but the way he agrees so easily has you wondering what he’s actually planning. You don’t have to wait long, however, before he reveals it himself:

“Have fun, you two,” he bids by way of a farewell, emphasising the ‘fun’ part by making kissy noises at the air and wrapping his arms around himself to create the illusion of a passionate make-out session as he walks out. The door slams behind him, the loud before the silence that follows after.

You don’t want to look at Nagi. You’re too embarrassed to even move in his vicinity.

“Hey.” You feel a poke in the middle of your shoulder blade. “If Reo’s gone, does that mean we won’t have to go trick-or-treating?”

Considering how Reo, out of the three of you, was the one who wanted to go trick-or-treating the most, you don’t really have an opinion on the matter. Plus, you hadn’t spent that much time on your costume, and neither had Nagi, clearly. “I don’t care either way.”

“Then let’s just stay in and watch a horror movie.” With a satisfied hum, he rolls over onto his back, rummaging with one hand for your laptop that you keep stowed away in one of the drawers of your bedside table.

“It’s in the middle drawer.”

“Thanks.”

After gathering the pillows that you’d thrown at Reo off the floor and placing them back on your bed, you hop into the empty spot right beside him.

A couple minutes into the movie, Nagi speaks up.

“You can hold my hand if you’re scared, by the way.”

You freeze, turning to look at him, but by then, he’s already returned his focus to the screen. This is normal, you try to convince yourself again. He’s just silly like that, it doesn’t mean anything. Figures you find yourself focusing on him more than the actual movie.

(At some point during the movie, a cheap yet convincing enough jumpscare pops up across the screen, and subconsciously, your hand interlocks with his. Nagi’s heart almost drops to his ass, but he thinks nonetheless: mission accomplished.)

[BONUS]

Mikage Reo:

hey you

are you holding [y/n]’s hand yet

i swear if you aren’t… i went trick or treating ALL BY MYSELF just for you two

do you know how #Lame i look dressed in a vampire costume towering over all the other little kids in front of somebody’s house like. Trick or Treat! ^_^

one of the parents asked me if i was too old to be trick or treating T_T

nagi seishirō:

yeah

Mikage Reo:

yeah what

yeah about holding hands or about knowing how lame i look

HELLO?????

read

[bestanimal]

As promised, here is a post about my immortal South American Bumblebee Catfish (Microglanis iheringi) to serve as Actinopterygii propaganda.

I first got into fish-keeping after getting a job at PetSmart in 2014. I figured I needed some experience if I was about to answer peoples’ pet questions (spoiler: most people buying pets ended up being a lot stupider than I thought.) I had a 10 gallon tank with a dwarf gourami and 2 platys for a bit, before I found the 10 gallon too limiting and upgraded to a 30 gallon. The tank needed some sort of bottom feeder to occupy the lower levels of the tank, so I opted for a South American Bumblebee Catfish over a school of Kuhli Loaches. Here’s proof; pay extra attention to the dates:

I’ve tried to add other bottom feeders to the tank, like cory catfish, a bristlenose pleco, and even a sumo loach, but… I’m not sure if the bumblebee catfish was bullying them or if he’s just put a curse on the tank, because none of them lived more than a few months. I’ve since stopped trying to add other bottom feeders.

I still wanted Kuhli Loaches though, so I figured I would just try them after the catfish passed away. Every source online said they lived 3-5 years “under ideal conditions.” I didn’t mind waiting 5 years to get some kuhlis.

I quit PetSmart after two years, went to university, have gone through several jobs and life changes. The 30 gallon tank has seen many fish come and go. An outbreak of Ich in 2019 took my last tetra, and weakened my angelfish. Eventually left with some cherry barbs and the bumblebee catfish, I decided to make an all Asian fish tank, as they seemed to be the hardiest (and my inner zookeeper was screaming at me to at least co-habitate fish from the same continent.)

It is 2024 and I currently have a pearl gourami, a school of black ruby barbs, a school of glass catfish, a female Betta, one very old cherry barb…

… and one South American Bumblebee Catfish.

Surely Kuhli Loaches would fit the Asian theme better. But no. This catfish will never die.

It’s not that I want him to die; I don’t wish any ill on him. I just can’t get any other bottom feeders with him in there. And this fish that is supposed to get to 3-5 years old “under ideal conditions”… I have had for almost 10 years. This is the fish equivalent of a 200 year old man:

I switch up the tank’s decor seasonally for enrichment, and this year the fish got a new haunted house. The catfish loves houses, so here he is celebrating his 9th Halloween.

I never even named him. I go back and forth between “Methuselah” and “Rasputin”, but usually just default to “The Immortal Catfish.”

If you ever feel like you can’t go on, just remember that Methuselah/Rasputin/The Immortal Catfish is out there somewhere, living it up (currently in a seasonally-appropriate gingerbread house ornament), and if he can keep on truckin you can too.

. __ .