#he appreciates all the little stuff and holds it dear near his heart i just know it
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lightseoul · 1 month ago
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im surprised no one asked for this yet but please do no. 17 for the 2k milestone 💌 your works are amazing!!!! 🥰🫂
hello, elle! this ask gets a fast pass because SAME i was just waiting for someone to request this number, so thank you!!! and i just want to quickly thank you as well for all the love you've shown my works, i see and appreciate you sm <3
(this is lightseoul's 2k milestone event ft. bakugou katsuki! to play, view the numbered list of prompts here, then simply send an ask with your chosen number and i'll whip something up!)
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17. "DID YOU BUY ME FLOWERS?" (1.3k)
ping.
you startle ever so minutely at the chime that just reverberated across your car, briefly interrupting that one song that’s been on repeat for the last few days. as your speakers resume playing the familiar melody, you glance at the phone held in place by your handy mount, and you can’t help the smile that creeps up your face when you see the notification.
(6:54 PM) katsuki🧡 : Will be down in a sec.
you kissed him goodbye and called out a ‘take care’ just this morning before he left for work, but it feels like it’s been more than 24 hours since you last saw each other.
maybe you can chalk it up to your own workday being brutal and full of mishaps, but you’re lucky enough to have been able to leave on the dot instead of working overtime like the man who just texted you.
you were set to go on a dinner date, what with today being a friday and there being a new sought-after ramen shop that just opened earlier this week downtown. the plan was to meet back at your shared apartment so that he could drive you both to the restaurant, but a message from him at 4 in the afternoon saying he had to patrol overtime required you to do a little bit of adjusting.
which explains why you’re now parked right in front of the ground riot agency, essentially picking up your boyfriend.
tapping your fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, you peer through the window to your right, eyeing the entrance to the building. true to his word, #4 pro-hero dynamight emerges from the glass doors, now wrapped in casual clothes instead of the hero gear he left home in this morning.
you barely make out him scanning the parking lot with that signature scowl on his face, but the angry expression instantly morphs into a look of recognition when he spots your car.
the man starts jogging toward you, and as he gets closer and closer to where you’re stationed, that’s when you notice he’s carrying what suspiciously looks like a bouquet of flowers.
but you don’t even get to react because, in a matter of seconds, he’s already opening the door to the passenger’s seat.
as he slides into the spot beside you, you’re instantly hit with the comforting smell of burnt caramel and that signature perfume of his that never fails to make you just a tad bit light-headed and, quite frankly, dumb.
“hey, babe,” bakugou greets you, before leaning over the console and placing a firm hand on the crook of your neck, bringing you in for a kiss.
despite yourself and the sheer number of times you’ve done this, you still flush when you feel his tongue brush over your lower lip just ever so slightly, which you’ve long identified as his way of asking for permission.
you’ve never been the type to deny him, and so you relent.
you barely stop yourself from groaning when the wet muscle enters your mouth, and for a moment you just sit there—brain empty—as he kisses you fervently, his grip on you unrelenting as ever.
bakugou katsuki doesn’t half-ass things, and that includes kissing you.
eventually, when you think he’s satisfied enough and aptly satiated, he pulls away, and it takes you a moment to ground yourself back to reality. he must’ve noticed, because the cocky son of a bitch only smirks to himself before moving again.
dazed, you watch your boyfriend as he stirs in his seat and grabs the bouquet you completely forgot about from under his feet, thrusting it toward you.
“here.”
your eyes dart back and forth between the bunch of pink tulips and the man, “are you being serious, right now?”
his eyebrows instantly furrow. “what? ‘course i am. picked them up during patrol. knew you’d like ‘em.”
at his mention of the item, your gaze drifts to the thing that’s been sitting in wait in your backseat.
bakugou studies you for a beat, probably wondering what the fuck is going on, before following your line of vision.
you brace yourself for his confusion or maybe even stunned silence in reaction to it.
but neither of those comes.
what does come, is something close to indignation.
“…who the fuck gave you that?”
you feel your face contort in confusion. “what?”
at that, bakugou turns even more toward the backseat, staring down the poor bouquet of orange lilies that absolutely hasn’t done anything wrong to be met with such disdain.
“which dipshit gave you those, hah?” he spews, evidently miffed. “was it that stupid coworker of yours who’s calling himself your fucking work husband?”
“what? no!” you exclaim, because why the hell would he think you’d even accept in the first place?
even with your denial, though, bakugou isn’t looking too pleased, now closely resembling a petulant child.
a cute, jealous, petulant child—
—holding a collection of tulips.
you try to tamp down the grin that’s fighting to take over your features, knowing better than to make him feel embarrassed for getting riled up over the idea of other guys being around you. reaching to the backseat, you take the assortment and quickly fix the areas that inadvertently got folded during the drive over, ultimately handing it to the man.
only the said man looks at you like you just grew horns.
it takes him a second to reply, voice gruff and low when he asks, disbelieving: “did you buy me flowers?”
you really don’t know how else to respond, so you nod. “got them on the way here. they were on display and they reminded me of you.”
at that, bakugou doesn’t say anything, eyes unwaveringly fixed on the bursts of orange.
but he doesn’t move to take them off your hands or something.
you feel your smile faltering just a little. “you don’t like them?”
he looks up at you, like your voice just brought him back from where he was deep in thought. “yeah—no, they’re nice.”
before you get to dwell on what nice means and if he really meant that or was just being courteous, bakugou wordlessly coaxes the flowers from your grip and sets them alongside the ones he got you.
once they’re secure in the tiny space beside him, he then leans over the console again, before planting a lingering kiss on your lips.
one that tells you all the things he can’t bring himself to say���at least at this exact moment.
one that’s definitely saying thank you and i love you.
and maybe, if you read into it close enough, an i love it—give me more in the future.
you eagerly return it before he can pull away.
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you don’t think bakugou noticed, but on the silent drive to the restaurant (after you spent ten more minutes in the lot making out), you stole a glance just in time to catch him sniffing the flowers (the ones you got him) and seemingly fighting the upturn of the corners of his lips.
he also brought the bouquets with him to the restaurant, which he absolutely didn’t have to. when you playfully called him out on it, he told you off by saying you can’t just leave flowers in a car for various reasons. you listened to him as he went on and on about why that’s so, but the redness of his ears sort of gave him away.
and when you got home, the first thing he did when he thought you weren’t looking was grab two vases and get to work arranging the tulips and lilies together, placing them side by side at the center of your dining table.
it wouldn’t be until two weeks later, however, that you accidentally bump into his bedside table, causing the book he’s about halfway done reading to fall on the floor.
and when you stoop down to pick it up, you see that he’s on page 280, to be exact.
and marking that halfway point is a dried lily.
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nicoline1998enilocin · 1 year ago
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Betrayed | Part 2
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PAIRING | Male Avengers x Ex-Avenger!Female!Reader
WORD COUNT | 1.7K
SUMMARY | It has been a few weeks since you found out about the bet the guys placed on Steve taking your virginity. You haven't been back to the Compound since, but now that you're back you will not hesitate to make life absolute hell for each and every one of the guys who were involved.
WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Major angst, swearing, Reader getting revenge, and telekinesis are used for some interesting forms of revenge, someone gets choked a little bit, someone loses something near and dear to their heart, someone breaks a few fingers, and someone is put through literal hell again.
A/N | This is the follow-up to my request called Betrayed, which received a lot of love! If you haven't checked that one out already, I'd highly recommend you do it! If you would like to request something, please don't hesitate, I love writing requests for you all! 🖤
Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜
Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist
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You haven't been back at the Compound for a few weeks, especially after what happened when you found out about the bet the guys placed. They may have killed your dream career of being an Avenger now, but that doesn't mean you won't be out of their lives, and they will not forget it, you will make sure of that. You still needed to pick up your stuff from your bedroom, so you decided today would be the perfect day to get some of your stuff, and maybe play with the boys a little bit. They played with you first, after all. And you didn't have to wait long to have your first interaction. Right as you walked in, you saw none other than the golden boy himself, Steven Grant Rogers.
You decided to have a little fun with him now that you have your telekinesis better under control than last time. Without saying anything you stopped him from walking and pulling him towards you, making sure he couldn't go anywhere and he had to face you. ''What the-'' is all he said as he felt like ropes were being put around him, but he didn't see anything, yet he was still moved, and as soon as he turned around, his eyes turned wide with pure, unadulterated shock. You were back, and hungry for revenge after the stunt they pulled on you. ''What, don't have anything smart to say this time, Rogers?'' you snickered at him, having way too much fun with the way he's squirming in your grip.
''Y/N, please, let me go,'' he said with a stern voice, which only made you laugh. ''You seriously think I'm going to listen to you now? After you ruined my fucking life?! You should start doing stand-up comedy Rogers, you're too funny,'' you said, letting out a fake laugh. ''You don't even know how much you ruined my life, do you?'' you asked, tilting your head as you looked at him with a smirk. ''I- I'm sorry,'' is all he said, before dropping his eyes and trying to get out of the hold you have on him. ''Sorry isn't enough, hell, nothing will ever be enough to make up for the fact that you accepted a fucking bet to take my virginity. You honestly made me feel special - which in all fairness, is also on me, I should've known better than that - and took one of the most precious things in my life away from me, just like that. I didn't think you of all people would be capable of hurting someone like that. Guess I was wrong,'' you sighed.
When you held your little monologue you slowly stepped closer to him, and when you were right in his face you practically spat the words out, before actually spitting in his face. God, you hated him to his core for the games he played with you, and this wasn't even the beginning of what you could do to him. You started squeezing a little tighter while squeezing around his throat like a boa constrictor too. You were enjoying this way more than you should, but it felt good to finally be able to hurt him like he did to you, even if it was just a fraction of the hurt you felt. When you saw Steve's eyes roll back in his head showing he was about to pass out, you quickly released him and he was gasping for air while clawing at the floor, trying to hold on to anything the could get a hold on.
You didn't care and stepped right over him, letting him figure his shit out alone. You were on your way to your next victim, a certain archer under the name of Clint Barton, or Hawkeye, as the public knows him. You don't have to look very long, as he is in his training room shooting arrows. He just released an arrow and without a problem, you stopped that same arrow mid-air, making him snap his head around to where you're standing. ''Surprised to see me, Barton? It was only a matter of time before I would show up, now wasn't it? Especially since you were part of making my life a living hell,'' you said, your voice deepening at the last part of the sentence. His mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish, he didn't know what to say. You slammed him into the wall behind him with your hands in your pockets, and he fell to the floor like a ragdoll.
''Not so powerful without your little bow and arrows are you? I can't believe how much of a pathetic piece of shit you are,'' you spat at him while you broke his bow and all of his arrows with a flick of your hand. Not only did you get your telekinesis under control, you learned different ways of using your powers too. ''N-No! Not my bow!'' he said, he was attached to it since he used the same one ever since he learned archery. You snap it a few times for good measure, to ensure he would never be able to use it again. ''Stay out of my way from now on, and Laura and the kids will be safe,'' you said as a warning before physically stepping on his bow one last time, reveling in the crunch it made under your boot. ''God, I could listen to that sound forever,'' you said with a smirk as you turned around, leaving Clint laying on the floor with tears streaming down his face.
Finding Tony wasn't all that hard, since he was working in his lab most of the time, and today wasn't an exception to that rule. You didn't even try to hide the fact that you were looking for him, and Tony acted like he didn't care you were there, but he would care very soon. All you did was put up a little display of a fantasy of yours, where Pepper and Morgan were tied up, unable to move and they were gagged, so they wouldn't be able to scream for help. ''What the fuck did you do to my family, Y/L/N?'' he asked as his eyes quickly went up to the screen. ''Who, me? Don't you think it's rude to ask that seeing how you were a part of the bet that hurt me? That ruined my fucking life?!'' your words were laced with nothing but pure venom.
''Seriously, you're acting like a crazy bitch because we had a bet? I always knew you were unstable,'' Tony scoffed, but you could see the hurt in his eyes. He was wondering if what he saw was real or not. ''I may be unstable, but at least I don't spend every single hour stashed away in here tinkering with god knows what when you have a beautiful wife and daughter at home,'' you said laughing. ''I wonder how they're doing, I think I'm going to pay them a little visit to make sure they still remember me,'' you said as you stepped closer, your eyes honing in on the device in his chest. ''But I think I may have a better way of hurting them,'' is all you said before you turned the device in Tony's chest off with a single flick of your finger.
Since this was still keeping the shrapnel away from his heart when it was on, you could see him squirm as he was working to get it turned back on, to no avail. ''Y/N, please don't do this,'' he begged, but you wanted to see him suffer a little more. The best way you knew how to do that, was to tinker with his iron man suit a little bit, and you crossed a few wires here and there, took out some of the hardware, and smacked the suit against the walls a few times for good measure. Right at that moment Tony was practically begging on his knees for you to stop, and you finally caved. You didn't plan on killing the man, so you turned the device back on so he would continue to live.
''Don't think for a single fucking second I won't keep it off the next time, Stark. Honestly, I never thought I would enjoy seeing you on your knees begging me so much, I think I might have you beg just a little longer,'' you said as you continued to ruin things around his lab, things that were near and dear to his heart. ''Please, please stop, I will do anything if you just stop,'' he said with tears streaming down his face, making you laugh maniacally. ''Pathetic asshole,'' is the last thing you said before stomping on his hand, effectively breaking all his fingers so he wouldn't be able to do anything for a long time. It felt good to hurt him like that, you were starting to feel a lot better now.
''Only one left now is Barnes, you don't happen to know where he is, do you?'' you asked with a sweet voice as if you didn't just break his fingers. ''Gym,'' is all he managed to get out before you turned around. You walked into a straight line to the gym to meet Bucky, and you swing open the door, startling the super soldier as he meets your gaze in the mirror in front of him. ''You're back,'' he whispers as he sees you, and you just laugh at him. ''Yeah, I am. And you're going to regret ever getting out of the claws of HYDRA,'' you say before using your mind control on him. You let him relive every single bad memory he ever made.
He sinks to his knees and he puts his hands over his ears, trying to drown out the noise in his head as you let him relive his worst nightmares, only 10 times worse. He starts squirming on the floor as you keep going, and you make a high-pitched noise go through his head too. ''S-STOP!'' is all he can mutter over and over, but you don't want to. When you eventually do stop, you see that there is nothing left of the man he was before you came in, and you're feeling good about it. ''That's what you get for being best friends with the man who ruined my fucking life, you dick,'' you said before turning around and grabbing your stuff from your bedroom. You were glad you finally got your revenge, and it felt damn good to finally have inner peace.
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m4ctavish · 2 years ago
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Graves — Romantic Headcanons.
Masterlist.
Pairing : Philip Graves/GN! Reader
Desc : Some general romantic headcanons for our this lil traitor 🪑
A/N : M4CTAVISH IS ALIVE?? also these are a little short but AAA
Philip Graves :
MAN.
May or may not have tried to *subtly* ask Laswell for some relationship advice
Definitely seems the type to call you sugar, darlin’, sweet/sweetheart, you get it (“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, darlin’.”)
Ngl, I feel like you may able to get a little “huh?” reaction from him if you were to call him sugar or sweetheart as well. (“What’s up, sugar?” “I’m sorry??”)
Also seems like the traditionally romantic type, like bouquets and chocolates n stuff (almost always includes a handwritten note that ends w/ an “Yours truly, Graves”) Idk, I’m just imagining gifts are his way of showing affection and apologizing for not being able to be w/ you all the time if you’re involved with another company/squadron/team or if you’re simply just a civilian
Physically affectionate (if you’re comfy w/ that) but mostly in private where the two of you are less likely to be interrupted. Especially loves holding you from behind and just keeping you close to his chest
Graves seems like the forehead kiss type— just pulling you close and pressing a kiss to your forehead. (alternatively, pressing a kiss to the top of your head)
Taking that and putting it in reverse, he’s a sucker for you pressing kisses to his jaw. (also just thinking of holding him from behind and pressing kisses to his nape or the sides of his neck)
When it comes to sharing the same bed, I like to think that he’s the type to sling an arm around your waist if you’re facing towards or away from him. He also may not say it out loud but he likes when you rest your head against his chest, feeling your weight against him is comforting in a way
I don’t think he’d shy away from telling you that he loves you, either— if he loves you, he loves you, and you deserve to know that. He makes a point to tell you whenever he can, especially when the two of you part ways
Honestly, if you’re the type that wants to get married, he’s down. However, what I’m imagining in particular is like, if the two of you don’t have time to plan something elaborate or simply don’t want to, he’s 100% game to just exchange rings and some words LMAO
Maybe someday the two of you would have a chance of actually settling down and growing old together like a normal couple
I’m like 90% sure most of the Shadows know who you are if you’re not involved w/ them. They may not know you by name but they do know that you’re very near and dear to their Commander’s heart (Graves never mentions you by name or what your relation to him is, only that he has “someone” to get back to— it’s his way of keeping you safe, to an extent)
If you work with the Shadows, he’ll try to keep you as close by to him without making it seem like he’s blatantly keeping you out of harms way in exchange for the rest of his people or hold you back in a way that squanders your abilities— he really just wants to keep you safe: he doesn’t want to be responsible for your death, especially if it’s preventable.
^ Speaking of abilities, I think he could appreciate a s/o that could knock him on his ass if prompted to do so (May or may not find it attractive— you make that decision)
He gets distracted watching you do quite literally anything, talking, shooting, sparring, cooking, you name it. You may not even realize it, but you’ve got him wrapped around your finger
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kaminocasey · 2 years ago
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Hello my dear, congrats on the followers. They are well deserved! And thank you for opening up for some requests.
I’m thinking number 2, “I think I might be in love with you.” with our favorite smarty pants Tech.
So often he’s written as a bit oblivious emotionally and that could be played here. But I do think he’s in touch with his emotions, I love seeing hints of him caring about and for Omega in the season 2 trailers. I think he would show that same care for his partner, maybe they are the oblivious one in the relationship? Just some afternoon Tech Thoughts for you to ponder.
Thank you, mouse <3 I appreciate that!!! Thank YOU for sending in a request!!!
You're absolutely right! I LOVE seeing him so caring and sweet. And we've definitely been blessed this season!!!!
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI; sex mentioned, FLUFF, jealous Tech
WC: 1.3k
Walking the streets of Pantora with the Batch, you lean against Crosshair. The two of you were closer than close lately. What you don’t notice is Tech slightly slouching at the sight of you and his brother looking rather cozy, jealousy tinging his heart in a way he’s not used to. The brother who doesn’t just show emotion… Does Crosshair like you? Or perhaps more? Does Crosshair care for you in the way that he does? 
“Oh, a bookstore.” You stop to look in the window at the small cozy bookstore. “Can we go in?”
“I have no desire to look at books.” Crosshair starts to walk away.
“I’ll be in and out.” You start to go in. 
“Tech, why don’t you wait with her. This is your kind of store, right?” Hunter smirks. “We’ll meet you back at the Marauder.”
“Um… yes. I can do that. I’ll stay with her.” Tech nods and you smile brightly at him enough to make his heart do somersaults in his chest.
“Thanks, Tech.” You go into the bookstore and don’t notice the wink that Hunter gives Tech. 
As you browse the shelves, Tech lingers near, also glancing at the shelves, but mostly admiring the way your eyes light up at the sight of a book that looks interesting to you. 
Tech had tried and failed to stuff his feelings for you deep down. Feelings weren’t his forte, right? He based things off of knowledge and factual data. But the moment that you’d walked into their lives, knowledge and factual data didn’t seem to matter anymore.
“I admire your love for books.” Tech gives you a small smile and you look up at him, already holding a small stack of books. “Have you always enjoyed reading?”
You nod. “Ever since I was little. My mother and father used to read to me before bed and I think that’s where my love for books probably stemmed from.”
“That would be the logical conclusion.” He fixes his goggles.
You can’t help the grin. “How much reading do you do for joy?”
“All reading brings me joy, I suppose.” He starts to walk past you to look at the books behind you, brushing against you softly.
You close your eyes at the feeling. You’ve been in love with the man since you’d patched him up after getting hit by a blaster shot that was meant for you. 
“I mean, reading that doesn’t require thinking.” You turn toward him. 
He picks up a book and turns it over to read the back and then sits it back on the shelf.
“All reading requires thinking, does it not?” He gives a soft smile, but still doesn’t look at you. 
You go over to a shelf and pick up a book that definitely has smut in it and then hand it to him.
“I don’t think at all when I read these kinds of books.” You tease. 
He opens it and the book immediately starts out by the female protagonist getting intimate with her partner. He looks up at you, warm in the face.
“You read these books?” He asks. 
You nod with a shrug. “Sure.”
He closes the book and hands it back to you, unable to get the image of you reading sex scenes out of his head. 
“Sorry… if that made you uncomfortable… I don’t know why that was the first book I picked up…” You quickly apologize, feeling terrible, turning to go look at the shelves across the store. 
He can hear you cursing yourself about something. But the pressing feeling against his codpiece is blocking out his ability to think clearly. 
“Do you need any help?” The store clerk asks you. 
You shake your head. “Just looking, thank you. I really like your store.”
“Thank you so much. It’s been in my family for three generations.” The Pantoran man tells you. 
Tech wasn’t blind to the attention you got anywhere you went. Your smile and personality alone were infectious and almost anyone you came across was completely taken in by your charm. But still… The jealous feeling still makes itself too known.
“Oh wow! How neat! I’m so glad we were able to stop in.” You smile widely.
“We?” The store clerk looks up in time to see Tech knock over a stand with books on it. 
You can’t help the small laugh that escapes as you go over to help him, apologizing to the clerk. 
“Happens more than you realize.” The clerk chuckles. “You guys are a good looking couple.”
“Oh we aren’t-” Tech starts but you look at him and his heart nearly stops with his words. 
The look on your face isn’t that of disgust, but a soft look of… adoration, maybe? He can’t tell. But the fact that it isn’t disgust is a win, right?
When you get all the books picked up, you go to the front to check out, Tech following closely to you. You pay the clerk and Tech takes the bag for you.
“Thanks.” You smile on your way out. 
“You’re welcome.” He nods. 
As you walk down the sidewalk, passing all of the other stores, you make your way back to the Marauder.
“I wasn’t uncomfortable with the book you showed me earlier, by the way.” He glances down at you.
“Oh good.” You let out a breath.
He debates whether or not to bring it up now. It was beginning to get more and more difficult to keep these emotions bottled up like he’d been trying to do for the last year. 
“I… I found myself wondering… what it’d be like.” He struggles for words for the first time ever. 
“The sex?” You ask.
Tech has found that you understand him more than anyone in the Batch. He seldom has to explain himself more than once with you. 
He nods. “But… with you.” 
You stop in your tracks. “Me?”
Did you just hear that right? He’s not looking at you, though. He’s watching the ground, trying to gather his thoughts.
“While I know it’s not required to have intimate relations with someone, of course… I think that I might be in love with you.” He finally looks at you and you can’t stop smiling. 
All this time, you were afraid your feelings would be completely unrequited, you hadn’t entertained the thought that Tech might feel the same way as you.
“I know that Crosshair would be a more suitable choice, of course. I just could not keep these-” He starts but you cut him off with a nervous chuckle.
“Crosshair? What does he have to do with anything?” You ask.
He pushes his goggles up again. “Earlier, the two of you… well, I just assumed. I know you two are very close.”
“Oh, Tech…” You murmur, closing the distance, taking his hands. “I don’t think of Crosshair like that. He’s like a… best friend I suppose. It’s you that I… well that I…”
You struggle to find words, but Tech just smiles.
“I understand now.” He nods, squeezing your hands. 
You reach up, nervously, on your toes to brush your lips against his. He catches your lips with his and pulls you closer. Warmth spreads throughout both of your bodies.
When you pull away, you’re both panting slightly. 
“I should have done that sooner.” He smiles.
“Agreed.” You laugh as you kiss him once more before making your way back to the ship, arm in arm, his hand over yours. 
When you get back to the ship, Wrecker and Omega start grinning goofily. Echo and Hunter smirk and Crosshair who knew about your feelings for the genius before anyone did, winks at you. 
Echo gives up his copilot seat for you when they get into hyperspace. You assume that it’s so you can spend more time with Tech since everyone is suddenly out of the cockpit. 
“Why don’t you read one of your books to me.” Tech offers.
You lean over and kiss him on the cheek. “Deal.”
TAGS: @twistedstitcher27 @rebel-finn @grievouus @madameminor @dumfanting @rain-on-kamino @corona-one @tecker @ladykatakuri @brynhildrmimi @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @zoeykallus @maulslittlemeowmeow @littlemousedroid @arctrooper69 @rexxdjarin @agenteliix @padawancat97 @hated-by-me @sleepingsun501 @crosshairmylove587 @idlenesses @redheadgirl @dnxgma @themcuwriter @ashotofspotchka @sunshinesdaydream @crosshairsimp73 @ariadnes-red-thread @rosmariner @heyitsaloy @starstofillmydream @high-ct5555 @echos-girlfriend @sleepywych @nekotaetae @justanothersadperson93 @brownstalebread @aconstructofamind @book-of-baba-fett @chopper-base @palliateclaws @501st-rexster @dead-poolz @nahoney22 @where-is-my-mind-tho @greaser-wolf @moonstrider9904 @tubble-wubble @lirinck2
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grimmweepers · 3 months ago
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ryu!! first if all — i’m so sorry for being insane and all up in your notifs like this waaah but i Need to know the ryuhaitham story from when you crossed paths as children?! 🥺 i am so intrigued! ♥︎ how did you bring it up later in life, was it after you two got together?
coco!!! ♡ do not apologise at all my dear. i will be lying if i said i havent lurked your haico tag as well wink wink
i love you both. you guys are so beautiful and sweet together 😭also idk if tumblr ate my ask but i sent a question about haico. if it didn’t, IGNORE THIS AND TAKE UR TIME. AND IF U DONT WANT TO ANSWER, THATS OKAY TOO ♡
sorry it took a moment to get to this, i just got home from work and really wanted a proper sit down to write it out. thank you for so much for asking, i really do appreciate it sm!!
ryuhaitham lore under the cut 🙂‍↕️
we were really young when we first crossed paths. we were in the heart of sumeru city, spending a day roaming around the bazaar. i, not a local, was just visiting with my family and i was clinging to my mother’s hand while she browsed the stalls. alhaitham happened to be nearby with his grandmother, and it seemed like just another ordinary day. when my mother left me to pick some fruit, i stayed where i was, obedient like she asked. that’s when i saw— or rather, heard— some commotion. a bunch of kids goofing off, being a little too loud, and catching some disapproving glances from the adults passing by. i mostly ignored them at first, but then i noticed this boy with grey hair, who looked close to my age, standing off to the side. he looked stressed, covering his ears like the noise was too much for him
his book slipped out of his hands, and you could just tell he was trying to block out everything around him. it kind of reminded me of my own situation. maybe someone told him to stay put while they shopped too. i didn’t really think about it much at the time, but i went up to the group of kids and politely asked them to keep it down, pointing to alhaitham and the adults watching. surprisingly, they actually listened and moved away. i picked up his fallen book, handed it back to him, and said, “here you go!” he mumbled a quick “thanks,” and that was that. i walked away and never really thought about that moment again
fast forward years later, and we’re together, just lounging on our day off, chatting about random stuff. out of nowhere, i bring up this old memory, completely unaware he was part of it. like i was just telling it as if it was some throwaway story. then he suddenly says, “wait, that happened to me?”
he asks, “was it at the grand bazaar?”
“yeah…?” i say, trying to remember.
“was it near a fruit stand?”
“i think so. my mother was buying zaytun peaches.”
“my grandmother was holding harra fruits when she returned.”
we both just stare at each other, silently. i’m the first to break, freaking out, head in hands, like, omg, are you serious?????!!!!!
he’s super amused by it, though. even though it was a forgotten memory, he appreciated the gesture back then. so with a sneaky little grin, he goes, “so, you were watching me from afar and couldn’t even remember my face? i’m a little offended.”
and honestly that’s it! we giggle about it and i make jokes about how we were meant to be and he jokingly tells me to stop being silly (he believes me)
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wayward-sherlock · 2 years ago
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Okay since you said you loved when people talked to you about your fic I just wanted to say again HOW MUCH I love your Mike vs gay quiz fic. I kid you not, there were TEARS of laughter running down my face, and then tears of happiness when he finally got his stupid fucking act together. AND RONANCE?! I loved the little hint of it. Steve is such a good friend lamo. If you ever felt like it I would love to see a ronance fic that you wrote! And if I'm remembering correctly, I loved the little hint of acespec Mike. That headcanon will always hold a special place in my heart.
If you had to choose one of your byler fics, which is your favourite? I really need to get around to reading the rest of your stuff, but considering the sheer number of them on my marked-for-later list, I sort of need to prioritise lol
Anyway I'm rambling, so I'll just say one more time that I love that fic with all my heart <3
OMG BESTIE THANK YOU THIS MADE MY DAY 💕💕i really do love when people talk to me about my fics it’s so ajsnxkmaoa
i am actually trying to hype myself up to write a ronance fic for one of my irls…if you have any ideas, feel free to reach out, i’d love to hear them 😌
there WAS a hint of acespec mike…was that my headcanon coming through or me projecting???stay tuned… (i do headcanon most of the party as acespec, and mike and will specifically as demi, so im glad you liked that little bit of characterization☺️)
oh my god ive never been asked this before…ive written so many and they’re all so beautiful in their differences…i would say my favorite would be either bad idea! or could i need you this much? bad idea! i worked really hard on and im happy with the result and could i need you this much? is a fic that i hold near and dear to my heart because of how personal it is to me. sorry if that wasn’t an answer you were looking for, and OF COURSE don’t feel any obligation to read any of my fics! you can read whatever you want to :)
i love your rambling!! thank you so much for letting me know…i really appreciate it more than you know🫶i will be going back to this ask when my mean depressed brain tries to tell me im not good at writing 💕so thank you
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astrangerthatcares · 4 months ago
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Hey Stranger.
Firstly, I wanna say I appreciate you doing this. I found your blog through the self harm tips post. Though I don’t personally SH, I have people who do and I got to send it to one of them. You’ve already helped people, and I know you’re bound to help countless others.
I apologize if this post is jumbled, or if this a seemingly small problem, but I need a fresh perspective here. This is going to be a long post because it requires a lot of context.
I am a high schooler going into junior year. Early on in freshman year, I met a dear friend that we will call Cyan for now. Cyan and I hit it off instantly, and we very clearly had feelings for each other. We eventually discussed it. Cyan revealed to me that they were trans ( fem to masc, haven’t started physical transition yet ). As I am straight, this was a bit of dealbreaker for me. I am still very close with him, and I support him in everything. He is one of my best friends.
Near the end of the year, I met and hit it off with a different girl who I’ll call Lime. We got together far too quickly ( about three days of knowing each other ) and the relationship quickly fell apart over summer.
I took almost all of sophomore year off of dating because of this. Not wanting a repeat of the incident, when I became interested in someone, I took more time to know them. This saved me a good few shitty relationships. Around the time of prom, I met a girl I’ll call Maroon. Due to some mutual needs, we talked a bit, and after about a month of being friends got together.
I am currently dating Maroon, it has been my longest relationship so far.
The problem is, I don’t know if I’m happy in this relationship: nor if we are the right people for each other. We have incredibly conflicting schedules ( she’s an early bird, I’m a night owl. ) When we text, it’s dull and formulaic. Sometimes we go for a good while saying barley anything except for “ good morning “
The biggest issue, however, is that we do not share any of our problems with each other. She lives in a somewhat abusive household, and acts like events of physical abuse are “ just another silly moment “ in her house. I believe her parents read her texts, and due to our schedule conflict, I also find it hard to be open with her about problems. This is a noticeable problem for me, as I believe openness is an incredibly important part of relationships. Finally, she isint the biggest supporter. I write, and reading the stuff I write means a lot to me. It’s not some expectation of “ you have to like my stuff “ and all that shit, it’s moreso I wish she would read a chapter or two, or even ask about it ever. I try to bring it up, but she shows no interest in it.
I also think about Cyan a lot, but not him exactly. Moreso, I put the idea of the perfect person onto him. It hurts me a lot, and I feel like I’m betraying Maroon every time I have one of these thoughts. And I feel bad about holding down do that attraction towards Cyan. Sometimes I wish it would just go back to before I knew, and that some idealized version of a person would pop into my life.
It’s been eating away at me. I don’t want to be like Lime, and try to break it off for reasons that are probably fixable. That hurt me badly, and I only recently fully processed that. I was very petty toward her behind her back, an act which I regret and have tried in some ways to amend.
I’m sorry, I know that was a lot, and it’s incredibly jumbled. All I ask is, what do you think I should do here? I need a perspective from someone who doesn’t know me, and you are willing to listen ( which I greatly appreciate. )
If you see this, thank you
- A stranger with a conflicted heart
Hi!
First of all, thanks for the first paragraph, I'm happy people do like this and find it useful.
Now, with your problem. Every problem needs to be solved and I am glad you decided to ask me. I understand your situation a little bit because I have been in some similar problems. A very important thing to do in your situation is understand the different types of attraction. To make it shorter, I'll just put the two important ones for this story- platonic and romantic. With what I know it seems like you could be romantically attracted to both Maroon and Cyan. But remember, I'm not you, you are the only one that can decide how you difference and feel romantic and platonic attraction.
For the communication problem, I have a few ideas. As a person who grew up in an abusive household, it can be hard to realize the problem. It might not apply to Maroon, but until I was 14 I didn't realize getting hit by your parents and emotionally abused wasn't normal. And even now-a-days, I don't talk about it. Not with the people I know in person, at least. To me, it's like something I mustn't talk about. For some people who have been abused by their parents or other family members, it's hard to recognice the abuse. It can take years to understand that having your parents yelling at you that "You're just f*cking stupid and a useless waste of money" is abuse. Try to get more informated and be soft and understanding but don't take it personal if she refuses to talk. Honestly, my partner just knows I was hit but my parents but we never talk about it. Maybe, someday, Maroon decides to tell you. But you can also send her some text along the lines of- "I'm here for everything" and tell her what you think about openness being needed. If she knows, you might be able to communicate more.
After all, it's up to you. I hope this helped, and if you can and want to, send me some kind of update to know how it's going and what you did.
-Stranger
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bluemusickid · 3 years ago
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In the end, it's you and I
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader
Warnings: fluff, smut, soft moments, breeding kink, that's it. 18+, MINORS DNI.
A/N: So, @maladaptivexxdaydreaming sent me this GIF and oh GOSH. It evoked something inside me. So here goes, ig.
I have done away with a taglist, so if you wish to keep up with my work, follow @lexiscyberlibrary and keep the notifications on!!
18+ blog, Minors not welcome, you are responsible for your own media consumption. Not beta'ed, any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise are all mine. I post my stuff only on Tumblr and AO3, and occasionally Wattpad. I do not give anyone permission to reproduce, copy or translate my work. If you are found doing so, trust me, I will put my law degree to good use. Likes are welcome, reblogs are much appreciated!
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"Shh."
It wasn't just a sound. It was a sentence in itself. If you'd asked your past self about the sound, she would've said it annoyed her; big time. To be honest, one only hears the "shh" sound as a toddler or a child. Hearing it as an adult is just considered rude.
Or so you thought. That was before you met Steve. It seemed like that was his favourite thing to say.
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"Shh."
That's all he said, as he held you, rocking you gently as you held onto him, crying your heart out.
"It's ok, sweetheart. Let it all out."
You clung to him, reliving everything. You lost her. Your best friend, no, your sister almost. She had succumbed to the deathly disease. You had held her till her last breath, just as Steve was holding you right now. You tried to stop, but the tears kept coming. You held on to him, like you were holding on for dear life.
"Shhh." He whispered, pressing soft, feather light kisses into your hair. You didn't even know how much time passed as he held you like that, occasionally gently rocking you. You woke up the next morning, in his bed; a glass of water on the nightstand. He'd slept on the sofa outside, keeping a watch on you all night.
In the morning, he'd made you breakfast; your favourite waffles and OJ. There were no words spoken, but the quiet domesticity spoke volumes.
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"Shhhh, sweetheart." He'd muttered through gritted teeth, covering your mouth with his palm as a moan slipped through your lips. A boring black-tie affair in Captain America's honour couldn't be spiced up in any way, yet here you were. Being pounded into within an inch of your life just behind the stage, where your husband would be getting an award.
You squeezed your eyes shut, a myriad of emotions flowing through you. But at the top of the list, there was only one coursing through your veins. And that was lust. You held onto his blazer with a death grip, wrinkling it in the process; but you didn't care. He was making you feel too good for you to give a damn.
His grip tightened on your waist, as he literally pounded you into the wall, hitching your leg on his hip. You gasped behind his mouth as he crashed his lips to yours, swallowing the sound.
You watched your husband from the audience, as his cum leaked into your ruined panties. Guess there were perks to being Mrs. America after all; a boring black-tie affair finally became interesting.
Running your fingers through his hair, you begged, beseeched him to let you come before you were caught in flagrante delicto. You could sense that he, too, was close, as he came with a grunt, his hot spend coating your walls; his hands gripped your hips a little too tightly. You came around him with a squeak; your walls tightening around him, trying to make him a part of you.
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"Shhh, princess." You heard him mutter.
You checked the clock, which read 3:00 AM. Groaning, you sleepily made your way down to the kitchen to warm up a bottle of milk. You groggily walked to the nursery, ready to take over. Just as you neared the room, you heard Steve softly sing to your baby, his voice lilting through the silence of the early hours.
"Don't cry, my princess. Daddy's here. He's always gonna be here for you. And that's a promise."
Your daughter started fidgeting again, searching for food as you walked in and handed him the bottle, knowing better than to get in the way of daddy and his precious daughter, who had managed to wrap him around her little finger in a short period of 3 months.
You went back to bed, hearing his muffled "shhh."
A few years ago, if someone had shushed you, you would've punched them. But ever since you met Steve, there couldn't have been a more sweeter sound.
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Oh gosh. I wrote this in a day, flat. Never have I written this fast, and I have Ali to thank for that. Hope y'all like this!! 💕😘
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ukiyokki · 4 years ago
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mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good
a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)
this took way to fucking long... i’m tired
below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.
Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame
(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.
Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe
(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)
Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon
(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.
Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)
(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.
GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg
(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.
Protected (completed) by aenqua
(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut
The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo
(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.
The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu
(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).
This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo
dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.
Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo
(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.
TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm
techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.
It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear
dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).
Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha
(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.
Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea
(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.
Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice
george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.
roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu
laser tag. 10/10
solar system (completed) by quartzfia
(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.
Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic
ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.
Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier
(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.
00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams
(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.
Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy
(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.
Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana
(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?
The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice
(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.
Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake
(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.
Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound
(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.
Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms
george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.
lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP
(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.
Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart
(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.
Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles
(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.
living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh
(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.
Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea
i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.
thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills
(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).
All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001
(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*
online love (completed) by andbutso
(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom
Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams
dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing
dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat
george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god
Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle
wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)
The color orange (completed) by anon
(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset
Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears
they’re dads :,)
Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes
(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete
Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine
(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.
Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter
(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect
When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo
(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.
Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice
george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)
Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice
(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)
Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies
dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.
Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon
when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.
Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias
(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.
seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies
ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).
Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser
(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.
the waves (completed) by anon
(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.
The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)
(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.
last updated February 6th, 2021
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dourpeep · 3 years ago
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IT WAS 2AM WHEN I SENT THAT SO I HELD BACK MY SIMPING FOR COLLEGE ALBEDO A LITTLE. tried not to send all my brainrot so I didn't just send a wall of text into your inbox LOL. Some others I thought of were:
- Mona giving astrology forecasts and compatibility readings in this au and Albedo may have asked her about the two of you
- Going to botanical gardens or museums with Albedo but for some reason it feels like a date even when it didn't intent to be. You tug on his sleeve now and then when you see something he might be interested in or even when it's something that excites you, and Albedo can't help but have a soft look in his eyes that he can share this moment with you! Somehow it results in the two of you holding hands - just so neither of you stray from each other of course - and eventually, intertwined fingers. You hear someone say that the two of you seem like a cute couple and you know Albedo heard it too, but neither of you say anything. You feel his hand squeeze yours a little tighter and respond in kind. The two of you are too embarrassed to look at each other but can't help the smiles on your faces.
- Lending Albedo some of your favourite books for pleasure reading and you've left tiny tabs on lines that you like. Perhaps this is before Albedo realizes his feelings so when he reads particularly romantic lines, he wonders if this is how he feels about you. Or did you mark these pages because you feel this way about someone? His stomach is in knots to the thought that you may be intrested in someone that isn't him and he settles for it just being prose.
WHAT YOU WROTE WAS SO CUTE AAA. THANK YOU FOR SIMPING FOR COLLEGE BEDO WITH ME!!
Tugging his hand and not letting go omg . . . you tend to just intertwine pinkies or play with his fingers absent-mindedly that Albedo becomes so accustomed to it so he starts to offer you his hands without a second thought.
WAIT. I gasped at Albedo being a cuddler. He's a little delirious when he first wakes up but you're so comfy that he hugs you a little tighter, asking if you've slept well. You try to reply while worrying about whether or not he can feel your heart thrumming in your chest.
What if Klee is staying with Albedo one night and the three of you fall asleep cuddled up together. Alice comes back early in the morning before any of you are awake and takes a picture. She sends it to Albedo later and he sets it as his phone's wallpaper.
Albedo staring at your lips winded me, thank you.
YES TO THE SWEATERS. I bet Albedo would have the softest and coziest sweaters too! Imagine it being a little cold out and you see Albedo across campus so you bound over to him and give him a hug. You nuzzle into him and mumble out a little 'hello' and say he's warm. You feel his laugh rumble through his chest while he greets you back, wrapping his arms around you
And I LOVE ALL YOUR HEADCANONS! I believe I found your blog around the time you posted Albedo's snort headcanon and it was too much for my heart!! I held tight to that headcanon and never let go lol. I also thought the science + college headcanons you had of him were really nice despite not being necessarily romantic!
Side note: I looked up that lobster fact and that's so cool!!
The Lobster Fact(tm) is my go-to ice breaker and it always fails. I'd imagine it's normally the same w/ Bedo OTL so sad...not many wish to know about potential lobster immortality.
I'm glad that you love the headcanons though!! I enjoy writing for Albedo so so much as you can tell ehe
That being said--if it makes you more comfy to send stuff in a few bursts of asks, I don't mind :DD I'll answer them as usual nodnod
OKIE DOKIE
-
"...Mona, yes?"
"Ah, I was expecting you to come around sooner or later, Kreideprinz."
Really, Albedo didn't mean to stumble upon the Astronomy major, but for some reason the thought of you has been on his mind and the campus' observatory just so happened to be on the way. With the meager hope that...maybe he'd find some sort of answer (in what, he wasn't really sure himself), there she was.
Luckily, she knew just what he was there for.
The moment that she twirls her hand with a wave, telling him that there isn't anything to worry about, the apprehension creeping within his chest at the thought of seeing you next-
disappeared.
It's not often that he turns to less orthodox methods, but he wouldn't lie. Knowing that--at least in Mona's opinion (which tended to be correct, anyway)--the two of you were undoubtly compatible? Something about how your constellations were intertwined...
In fact, Albedo turns a little theory around in his mind. Though based in old folktales, the idea that you gravitate towards those who are made of the very same stardust as yourself, suddenly made sense.
Or, perhaps he was just being hopeful.
-
Little does he know that you most definitely asked Mona about the same thing earlier that day.
-
AHHHHH BUT OF COURSE-
Any of those kinds of places--Botanical Gardens, Art Museums, Aquariums, Zoos, Museums in general--Any place where you're able to utterly lose yourself in your surroundings and look around in awe, really, are your go-to date outing destination!
Usually, it's just the two of you, maybe with Sucrose or Timaeus if it's for a particular class, as well as the occasional Klee in tow whenever Alice is busy with work.
But in this case, fingers interlocked, it's just the two of you on a impromptu trip to the art museum downtown after seeing a promotional banner about a new exhibit. Once inside, you rush along, Albedo trailing close behind with a light squeeze of your hand. The large area used for temporary exhibits isn't far from the entrance, so it's not long until you skid to a stop.
All along the walls are incredibly detailed oil paintings, the thin layered strokes glistening in the light. Albedo takes a moment to whisper to you about how oil paint works.
Due to the thinness of the paint and it's transparency, light passes through every carefully placed stroke, allowing for a unique sort of depth that isn't achievable with other painting media. You smile, the artificial light of the art exhibit making your features glow and Albedo can't help but wonder if you are like those paintings.
So complex, so carefully created in an image perfected with time. Your eyes search his and you say his name and Albedo clears his throat when he realizes he's been staring.
"Do you like this one?"
Ah, you must've assumed he took a liking to this particular painting.
His eyes shift back to it, taking in the sight of the balance of color, the composition, then back to you. He only stares a second longer before nodding.
Whether or not you realize the view he likes is you is something that he dwells on as you both make your way to the next painting.
-
If you had a penny for every time that someone comments on the way you compliment each other, you'd probably be able to pay off your tuition for next semester.
Okay, perhaps not, but the idea still stands.
You're only just at the end of the art exhibit when the security guard wishes the two of you a lovely date. Something about how young love is something to be treasured, something about how the two of you already seem so natural and comfortable in each other's presence.
Before you can mumble out an explanation, Albedo just squeezes your hand, gentle as always, and smiles.
It's a compliment, right? For someone to see how close you are, even if you really are just friends, is a good thing.
Ignoring the warmth that spreads over your cheeks, you smile and turn your head away shyly. Squeezing his hand back, the thought of what it'd be like if you were together crosses your mind.
-
Just as you lend books to him, he lends books to you. Surprisingly, this time it just so happens to be a poetry book--something that you expressed interest in a week ago but ended up not getting.
Within, he's left colorful notes with his neat, slanted writing.
Short discussions (presumably questions to himself) of what the poet must've been thinking, different possible scenarios, are peppered throughout the book. But one just so happens to catch your eye. Rather than a question, it's a statement. Simple, short, and...sweet.
'You carry the aura of the stars.'
The little yellow sticky note pasted beneath a love poem to the night sky stands out. Suppressing a flutter in your chest, you continue reading through the poem book with a few giggles at Albedo's musings until you find a note with most of the words crossed out.
It's entirely unlike him, the way that the dark ink scribbled over the words, making them illegible.
But at the bottom was a continued attempt--one you presume he was satisfied with by the way it lay pristine on the colorful paper.
'You look. I fail to speak.
Your mind, so brilliant as it is I wish to see behind To further appreciate the one I love.
I can only hope one day you shall let me in, So for now I wait patiently by your side.'
Who could he have written this for? You can't help but stare at the poetic attempt, knowing full well that Albedo seldom does something without meaning.
The book closes and you tuck it back on the shelf to ask about later.
-
AAAAA YESYESYESYES I LOVE THAT CUDDLE PILE W/ ALBEDO AND KLEE
Even though Albedo's a grade A student and certified genius (he's adamant in his denial, shaking his head and mumbling about how he just studies hard), he's not entirely a stickler for rules.
Well, that is, Aunt Alice's suggestion that Klee goes to bed by 9.
Instead, the three of you settle in the common room of Albedo's place in a bundle of pillows and blankets at the demands of a pillow fort.
The tv blinks on accompanied by the near silent click of the remote.
"What should we watch?"
Klee always ends up picking the movie. This time, she wants Alice in Wonderland, commenting on how the bunny is like her best friend Dodoco and the blonde girl on screen is named after mommy. Albedo doesn't bother correcting her, even though he knows quite well that dear, sweet Dodoco is a chinchilla.
Between sips of juice and a few mouthfuls of popcorn, the three of you fall asleep, Klee curled up besides you and Albedo's arm draped over you both.
Even when the sun is up in the sky, you sleep peacefully.
So, naturally, Aunt Alice has a spare key just in case something like this happens.
Immediately she's met with the sweetest view--her two kids (she's practically adopted Albedo as her own at this point) and--
Hiding a cheeky smile behind her hand, Alice can't help but sneak a little closer when she spies the way that you and Albedo somehow gravitated closer, his face buried in your hair and yours resting against his collar. Wedged between you with tousled hair, Klee snoozes peacefully.
She snaps a picture, followed by another, and another, and a fourth for good measures before meandering into the kitchen to prep something for breakfast.
Might as well let her three favorite people enjoy the comfort of sleep for a little longer...
You wake up the moment that Klee wiggles her way out of the blankets, nuzzling against the warmth radiating under your cheek.
Nice and cozy. Smells nice...wait.
Eyes fluttering open, you're met with a familiar birthmark and the nearly gone scent of Albedo's cologne.
You nearly pull away until the arm, now wrapped around your waist, pulls you closer accompanied by a satisfied sigh. Ah. You shut your eyes tight when you realize that Albedo's going to be asleep for at least another thirty minutes, resigning to your fate gladly.
Of course, Alice takes the opportunity to snap a few more pictures when you've finally fallen back asleep.
-
YES ALSO ALSO
Speaking of Albedo and sweaters and warm and also the just mentioned cologne. A little fun tidbit--not only are you familiar with the scent of his cologne because he wears it often, but it (in this au) is actually one that you picked out some time back. You probably were at the store together smelling some of the perfumes when you came across one that you were pleasantly surprised by.
Specifically, something that's lightly floral, a little warm but sweet with a hint of earthiness.
The pros? It fits Albedo perfectly! It also kinda sticks well and his place faintly smells of it.
The cons?? Well...you're embarrassed to say that hugging Albedo tends to drag on a little longer than anticipated because it's just such a comforting scent-
Not because you associate it with Albedo or anything-
Ehe
Man I really went to town again, didn't I?? Well, I'm glad that you enjoy my headcanons :DDD Albedo just seems like such a sweet person??? Like endearing in a way that just is...him. If that makes sense.
Brain go brrrrrr
I'll admit that my favorite headcanons for Bedo are mundane and domestic ones though! Like these! Just the little moments where there's nothing really going on except for him and you and ahhhh yesyesyes
Okay that's all-
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kamotoshi · 4 years ago
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worrying their baby hates them [hcs]
anon said: Can you please write a hc for jjk (including nanami please)guys as DADS!!!!!! The idea I have in mind is like you just had a new born baby & the baby keeps crying at like 3am and so they get up to check on the baby but it won’t stop crying so they frustrated/confused as to why their own child doesn’t like them! So then y/n comes catches them being so cute and fluffy and they are like ok bby chill no need to be frustrated the baby loves you 🥺🥺 and its just cute and fluffy 🥲🥲 thank you 💜
fran says: omg pls this is so soft and ofc we love nanami for this 🥺 since I narrow my hc reqs down to two characters, I'm choosing naoya as the second jjk dad for this req hehe. thanks for sending :) and I hope I understood the prompt correctly! I might’ve run away with it as I tend to do lol
pairings: dad! nanami kento, dad! zen’in naoya; fem mom! reader
genre: fluff, reverse comfort
warnings: if you’re not a fan of lil babes (particularly newborns) n lil babe stuff in general, this work may not be for you!
notes: nanami has a son and naoya has a daughter bc it’s what the heart wanted. also. this is v soft
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✧ nanami is a v responsible and doting dad who does whatever he can to support you n the lil babe. so when he hears your newborn cryin in the middle of the night, he’s up and ready to handle the situation
✧ naturally, he runs through the potential situations in his head of what could be bothering his lil baby as he goes to lift him out of the crib so he can figure out how to help. but there’s nothing clearly wrong and the crying just does not subside, even after nanami walks around the room for a lil bit with him in his arms and tries his best to calm him down
✧ the longer the baby cries, the more worried he becomes that a) you’ll have to wake up and come into the nursery to sort things out, and that b) his baby just doesn’t even like his dear dad that much. either way, he’s v tired n stressed
✧ when you wander into the room, rubbing your weary eyes, you can see the look of disappointment and failure clearly present on his face and sit down beside him to help him out
✧ as soon as you hold your son in your arms, the tears start to subside, but nanami’s worries only deepen since he’s now entirely convinced that his own child hates his guts. and for what? he’d taken care of him and was helping raise him! he wants answers!!
✧ you know how frustrated he must be with himself, so, after the baby’s calmed down again, you place him back in nanami’s arms n start cooing sweetly to him in the hopes he chills out
✧ there’s this long moment of tension during which nanami waits for the baby to start crying again since he’s got this look of uncertainty in his lil eyes like he’s just as confused as nanami is
✧ but thankfully, he reaches up to place his lil hand on nanami’s nose and open his mouth in awe (nanami’s wondering what’s so curious abt his nose). In response, he presses a couple kisses against his son’s cheek that make him smile, and suddenly all is well. baby is content and no longer crying, nanami is happy, mission accomplished!!
✧ “see? you have nothing to worry about, baby,” you reassure him and peck his cheek, “he was just being a bit picky. he loves you very much, I’m sure.”
✧ he pulls you closer for a kiss and gently places your newborn back in his crib when he finally drifts back off to sleep before crawling back into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you, and goin on a lil rant abt how much he loves you and your son until you tell him he needs sleep bc he’s borderline delirious
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✧ fatherhood is definitely a bit of an alien concept to him, that’s for sure. but, since you gave birth, the two of you have been learning a lot together
✧ at first, he was a bit slow to get up and tend to your child in the middle of the night since he wasn’t sure what to do, but he learned to figure it out bc he absolutely did not want his sweet lil wife to be overworked. now, he’s up rather quickly to make sure one of his fav gals is taken care of
✧ he does what he’s been taught to do and checks for any obvious reasons as to why his newborn is so disgruntled that she’s wailing after he lifts her out of the crib. however, when he can’t find an apparent reason, that’s when he starts gettin a lil frustrated with himself. he’s a dad!! he should be able to figure out what’s upsetting his lil girl!! he thinks
✧ the lack of sleep isn’t really helping his thought process either, so he resorts to holding the baby in his arms and cooing and singing to try to calm her down. but ends up mumbling little complaints like, “I know my singing’s not great but really, baby girl?” or trying to reassure her (but more himself) by saying, “don’t worry, your dad’s got this. he’s gonna figure it out. right? right?”
✧ by the time you enter the room, he’s damn near had a breakdown bc he absolutely does not want his sweet lil girl to grow up hating his guts and he wants to be the best dad ever (so he can brag about his family goals to everyone n be like yeah suckers I really do have it all haha)
✧ but you come with his saving grace and the one thing he’d forgotten in his exhaustion: a bottle of milk. he tries to hand the baby over to you, but you give him the bottle instead and drape a burp cloth over his shoulder so he can do it on his own in the name of bonding
✧ once he starts feeding your newborn, the crying comes to an end, and she instead gazes up at naoya with wide, delighted eyes while she sips. he breathes out a deep sigh of relief when he moves her to his shoulder and rubs her back for a bit
✧ since you know he was definitely stressing before you intervened, you give him some comforting words n kisses. “she was just a little hungry, babe. you’re doing a great job and I’m sure she appreciates it. I know I do”
✧ to this he gives you a peck on the forehead before doing the same with your baby once she’s all content and ready to doze off again, and the two of you snuggle while waiting for her to settle
✧ during this time, he ends up falling asleep too and you admire the sight of both of them snoozin together before putting your daughter back in her crib and leading naoya back to bed, where he murmurs sweet nothings into the crown of your head until both of you knock out for what you hope is the rest of the night
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reidgraygubler · 4 years ago
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look at my son (spencer reid/reader)
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Title: look at my son 
Request: no
Couple: dad!spencer reid/fem!reader
Category: fluff w/ a side of angst
Content Warning: spencer’s pov, mentions of an absent father, mentions of child birth, crying, anxieties about parenthood, new parents, talks about spencer’s past (prison, addiction, kidnapping), brief mentions about past suicidal thoughts, mentions of drugs (Dilaudid) and needles
Word Count: 3,957
Summary: spencer has a heart to heart with his newborn son while his wife sleeps.
A/N: totally based on dear theodosa from the hamilton soundtrack. I am not afraid to say that. Definitely big feels happening and there’s no regrets. this is possibly my favorite thing i’ve ever written. my best friend said it was soft and adorable, and so sweet she needed a dentist. i love it so much.  thank you all so much for the love and support! check out my masterlist!
{***}{***}{***}
“Go to sleep, please, you need rest,” I whispered as I looked down at my overly-exhausted wife. Although her face was looking up at me, her eyes were somewhere else. They were on a small figure just to the left of me. Her eyes had a certain glossiness over them, and it was most certainly from her exhaustion or the hours of pain she just endured to bring our son into the world. 
“B-but,” she finally looked away from the figure and up at me. “What… What if he wakes up… And, and he needs me.” Her voice was soft and cracked at the end of her words. I smiled softly as I tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.
“It’s a good thing I never sleep. Please, you really need the rest. I’ll be here,” I returned the whisper before pressing my lips to her forehead. Her hand gripped mine as I went to move away. I looked down at her, appreciating the way the dim lamp lit up her face. Even though she was extremely tired, she still looked beautiful to me.
“If he wakes up… Or… Or cries… Or moves the wrong way… Please, wake me up," she whispered, her eyes still on me. The grip she held on my hand wasn’t super tight, but it was tight enough for me to keep my hand in hers.
“Please trust me… He’ll be fine and I’ll be fine. If I need help I’ll get a nurse,” I lifted a hand and gently held her face. She slowly blinked and nodded. “Everything will be okay for an hour, okay?” 
“Okay, okay,” she looked between me and the sleeping baby, “An hour is so long,” she whined. I smiled before laughing softly. 
“Get some rest,” I pressed my lips to her forehead, again, before to her lips, “I love you,” I looked down at her with a soft smile.
“But...”
“Go to sleep,” I stared at her. She grumbled a little bit before pulling the blanket further up her body. I finally pulled my hand from hers and went back to the chair. I kept my eyes on her for a few minutes, watching as she tossed and turned before eventually falling asleep. I felt a little bad for forcing her to go to sleep, mostly because I knew she wanted to spend every waking moment with our son. But when she was actually awake, she was so exhausted that it looked like she’d pass out at any moment.
When I was sure she was asleep for a little while, I flipped my book open and began to read. Of course, my attention only lasted for so long when a soft sound came from the bassinet beside me. I pulled my eyes off the book and looked towards my son. He was wiggling slightly in his spot, but just a little bit. If you were just looking in the room, and not right at him, you wouldn’t have noticed him moving. But my attention was solely on him, so I could see his movements.
I looked over at my sleeping wife, noting that she was stirring slightly. My eyes stayed on her for a moment, waiting till she got comfortable again before I stood from the chair and walked over to the bassinet. 
“Hey there,” I looked down at the wiggling form. I know he wasn’t looking at me, but my heart grew as he moved his head to face me. “Your mom is asleep right now. So, you’ve got me. Your dad,” I whispered as I carefully rested my hand on his body. He was so small, my hand was almost the size of him. “I’m your dad.” 
I stayed silent as I stared at him. I didn’t want to pick him up, in case he went back to sleep. Of course, luck would not be on my side. Because the second I pulled my hand from his body, he started screaming and crying. 
“Oh, please, please don’t,” I cringed as I quickly looked over my shoulder at my wife. She had begun stirring again, slowly waking up. “I got it, it’s okay,” I spoke loud enough for her to hear. I turned and looked back at the screaming boy. 
“Shhh, it’s okay,” I whispered as I picked him up, holding him close to my chest with both my hands. The second he was close to me, he calmed down. A small sigh of relief came from me as I turned to sit back down.
My wife was still, her eyes on me with a small smile on her lips. “Go back to sleep, I got it,” I looked back at her as I adjusted my hold on the baby. 
“He’s so little in your arms though…” she whispered as she kept her eyes on me. I looked up from our baby and at her. “Just a widdle man,” she closed her eyes before sighing deeply. 
“Yeah, he is, isn’t he?” I asked, bringing my hand to his face. My fingers gently brushed across his cheeks before down the bridge of his nose. 
I was happy I didn’t get an answer from my wife. I was even happier when I looked up at her and she was asleep. Actually asleep too. I could only hope it was a restful sleep this time. 
My attention was drawn back down to my son when he started crying a little bit. I was instantly looking at his face. The longer I stared at him, the more my heart swelled or fluttered or whatever it was it was doing. I knew a lot of things. But, I didn’t know the feeling I was having for my son, my own child. Of course, I felt this feeling before with my wife. But this was somehow different.
“So, anyway, I’m your dad… That’s so weird to say… that I’m someone’s dad now,” I whispered as I brought my hand to hold the back of his head. “I never thought I’d ever say that, but we’ll keep that between you and me, okay?” I smiled softly. My body carefully swayed back and forth to try to keep him quiet. 
I stayed quiet as I stared at him. I wasn’t scared that I’d wake him up. No, I was just scared I’d say the wrong thing. But can you really say the wrong thing to a baby who was 12 hours old? I wasn’t entirely sure, but it was one of my fears.
“You know, growing up I didn’t exactly have a dad. He left me when I was just 10,” my voice was hardly a whisper as I stared at him. I could feel tears begin to well in the corner of my eyes. There was nothing I could do to stop them either. I just had to let them roll down my cheeks.
“I just had my mom. And, well, my mom just had me." I brought my hand back to rest on his body. The way he breathed seemingly calmed me down. But I think it was the fact that he was okay that was calming me. He’s been okay since the first day we knew about him. In fact, he was more than okay. He was perfect.
“But I promise,” my voice was shaky as I stared at him, “I’ll be around for you. You’ll have a mom and a dad.” I tried to keep my voice from cracking, but it was hard not to let the emotions show. 
I pressed my head back into the headrest behind me. Just as my eyes closed, he started moving around against my chest. I looked down at him and saw him looking back up at me. 
“Hey there,” I laughed as I looked at his eyes, “You have your mom’s eyes,” I wrinkled my nose as I stared at him. 
I tried to not think about all the monsters in the world outside of our hospital room. All the horrors and terrors his mom and I have gone through to get to this very moment. I’d do whatever it takes just to make sure he’s safe and sound. The thoughts of the monsters made me scared. Is this what parenthood would be? Being scared every waking moment, while simultaneously being in love, and embracing the ups and downs of everything? 
Was I prepared for this? Was I prepared at all to be a father? I mean, I didn’t have a father figure till I was 22, but even he left me. I tried to not think about it, but it was becoming increasingly harder the more I sat in silence.
With a deep sigh, I looked down at him. I was happy he was quiet. He had a long day too. Being born can do a lot to a person, well to more than a person. I think I’m more happy than tired, to be honest. That he’s here, and he’s perfect, and no one would ever be as perfect as he is to me.
I’ve waited for this moment for… I don’t even know. I don’t think there was a starting point, the feeling was just always there. 9 months ago just fueled this feeling. And, now he’s here. It took him a long time today, too. He really wanted his first appearance to be grand. Just like his mother.
“I’m a dad,” I whispered, this time letting my words break. My eyes stayed glued to him. It was impossible to say how much time had passed, but I knew it was a while. And his mom stayed asleep the whole time. Just like how he did. 
If I had known I’d become a dad 15 years ago, when I was kidnapped by Tobias Henkel, when I thought I’d die then… I probably would have been safer and stayed with JJ. I wouldn’t have split up with her. Or, all those times after I was kidnapped, sitting in a bathroom stall with a needle in my arm while Dilaudid ran through my bloodstream, waiting for the high to kick in or take me for good. Or… Or my time in prison, where there were the times I almost got killed… I could go on, really. I have too many near-death experiences to count.
“I can’t wait to tell you all the stories I know, you’ll love them,” I ran my finger back down his nose before resting it gently on his lips, then on his chin. “Russian folk tales… Chaucer, like my mother told me… Stories of cases your mom and I were on,” I smiled as his nose twitched slightly. I sighed deeply before pressing my head against the chair behind me. “Maybe someday I’ll teach you chess.”
Even though all he did was just be born, he still went through some traumatic stuff. All of that can do a lot to a person. And when he was finally here, and in our arms, he cried. He cried to let his long awaited parents know he was finally here. It made my wife cry, and it made me cry. But it was the way he cried that broke my heart. The sharp ear-piercing screams resonated in the room, and I knew for sure I’d never forget it.
My arms stayed still, holding him close to my chest. I couldn’t stop my eyelids from shutting, like miniature garage doors closing. My body was yelling, shouting for sleep. Even though I never slept before this, watching my wife give birth, and all the moments leading up to this moment here, were exhausting. But they’re precious moments. All 3 of us may be exhausted, but it’ll be worth it all. 
Although, it was this moment that I decided every day was going to be for him. He was going to be the reason I’d return home instead of staying at the office late. Before his birth, and even before we found out about him, I never envisioned my life turning domestic. To be honest, even though I longed to be a parent, I never truly envisioned myself adopting a domestic life-style. 
 As long as he stayed still in my arms, he could stay with me while I slept. I think even if he squirmed a little bit in my arms, he couldn’t get very far. His tired little body was wrapped tightly in his blanket. Thankfully he was fast asleep, not a care in the world. He was still entirely too little to have anything to care about, other than eating and sleeping. 
It was early in the morning, or some would say late at night. Our room was dark, the only light coming from the small desk lap on the nightstand beside me. Outside, the sun was just starting to rise, making the sky a dark pale blue. Usually I’d watch the sunrise, but… my son. 
The quietness of our room mixed with the whispers of the nurses out in the halls, and their squeaky shoes, and the whirring of the hospital machinery became my soft lullabies, lulling me to sleep. The three of us slept peacefully, not a bother in the room.
But what it was that actually got me to sleep was the thought of him growing up. I thought I was smart, but the images and thoughts of him older, and even now, made me so… happy that I felt dumb.  
{***}{***}{***}
“When did you say they were coming?” my wife asked, looking between me and the baby. I looked down at my watch, trying to remember when the team would come over to visit. It wasn’t that I forgot when they were coming over… I just had other things on my mind. Like my son and wife for instance.
“I think, any minu-”’-te now.’
“Alright, where’s my precious godson!” a woman exclaimed, cutting me off, as she entered the room. I looked over at the door for a brief moment, watching as 4 people walked into the room. A small smile grew across my lips as I recognized the 4 people as Penelope, Luke, JJ, and Emily. 
“Hey,” my wife looked at everyone with a big smile and exhausted eyes. 
“Good morning, mom and dad,” Penelope looked between us. The smile she wore was bright and cheery, like usual. She carried a balloon, a stuffed animal, and a few large gift bags. 
“It’s so nice seeing you guys,” my wife smiled as she spoke.
“It’s hard to believe that you just had a baby. You look… Amazing,” JJ laughed as she looked at my wife. My wife looked over at JJ with a certain exhaustion in her eyes. 
“I don’t feel like I look amazing,” she laughed lightly. The baby in her arms wiggled slightly, causing everyone to look at him.
“Oh, look at him,” Penelope cooed as she looked between me, my wife, then finally at my son. I smiled as I looked at the small baby in my wife’s arms. “You must be so proud, Spence." “Well, I wouldn’t say proud is the word I’m looking for,” I laughed as I peeled my eyes off my child and looked at Penelope, Luke, JJ, and Emily. Although I was half expecting them to be looking at the sleeping baby, they were looking at me. How did they not want to look at my baby? He’s all I wanted to look at. He had my undivided attention now. 
“It’s so weird that you're a dad now,” JJ laughed as she walked around the other 3 guests and came to stand closer to me. I smiled, watching as she placed a small, pale blue gift bag on the small table. 
“Do you want to hold him?” My wife looked up at JJ with a smile. JJ looked down at the baby before up at my wife. 
“Are-are you sure?” JJ laughed lightly as she looked between my wife and child. I smiled as I looked at JJ. I laughed lightly at her hesitance. To be fair, she just wanted to make extra sure it was okay, since we’re new parents. 
“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure,” my wife laughed as she carefully held out her arms. JJ smiled as she carefully picked our baby up from her arms. I smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed, holding my baby close to her body.
“He’s… precious,” JJ whispered as he looked down at him. “He has your nose,” she looked over at my wife, who was lovingly looking at our baby. A small smile grew across her lips as she nodded. 
 “Well, he has his father’s eyes.” My wife looked up at me with a small smile. If we hadn’t already argued over his little facial features, I would’ve argued with her that our son looks the most like her. That was why he was perfect. 
“Has Derek come by yet?” Emily asked as she looked away from the baby and at me.
“He said he’d visit when we got back home,” I nodded as I looked over at her. Emily nodded before returning her gaze back to the baby. Everyone was looking at him, and I didn’t blame them. 
“You guys… You take all the time that you need. Don’t rush back to the office,” Emily nodded. 
“But please come by and visit us all you want,” Penelope spoke as she looked between my small family. I laughed and nodded.
“We’ll definitely come and visit you guys.”
“You all know Spence. Can’t stay away from the office for a long time,” it was my wife’s turn to talk. She looked at me and lifted a hand. I looked back at her, adoring the way she smiled at me. I lifted my hand and placed it in hers. When she finds out that my days of staying late at the office are over, I’m sure she’ll be more than excited.  
“Maybe those days are over,” I shrugged as I looked down at the baby. I smiled softly and felt a sudden wave of calm wash over me. Everyone looked away from the baby and up at me with mild shock on their faces. 
“Really?” My wife asked as she gently pulled on my arm. I looked down at my wife, noting the way she was looking back at me. 
“I’ve been thinking about it. No hard answers,” I spoke as I looked back at Emily.
“Take all the ti-” She was unfortunately cut off by her phone ringing, “time… I’ll be right back,” she nodded before leaving the room. 
“I can’t wait to spoil the little sucker,” Penelope clapped her hands together as she looked between us. I laughed, watching as Luke looked at his partner. 
“Sure, spoil,” he nodded. The moment was ruined by our son unexpectedly screaming. JJ looked over at my wife, an apologetic look on her face.
“It’s okay. You know how newborns are,” my wife laughed as she took the baby from JJ. 
“With that, we should probably go. Little guy’s probably hungry,” JJ nervously chuckled as she stood. I shoved my hands in my pockets and stepped over to the three. 
“Thanks for stopping over. You guys seriously don’t know how much this means to me… To us,” I gestured over to my wife as I spoke.
“Oh, Spence, of course! Wouldn’t miss visiting you guys the first day as parents,” JJ smiled as she hugged me. I hummed as I hugged her. 
I wasn’t sure how long I had been asleep, if I had slept at all. I wasn’t even sure if it was a restful sleep either. But what I did know that one second later my body jerked awake when the loud sharp cries of a baby. 
My eyes snapped open and I looked down at the screaming figure. I cringed as I glanced at my wife, who I hoped was sleeping. But she was awake. Her eyes were glued to me and the baby.
“What are you doing awake?” I asked as I looked over at my wife, who was looking at me with wide, dewy eyes. Her exhausted smile told me that she’d been awake for a while. I looked down at the screaming baby in my arms before looking back at her. “Figured that one out myself.” I laughed when I realized the redundancy of my question. I stood up and lightly bounced to try to quiet the baby.
“I can take him.” My wife smiled as she looked up at me and lifted up her hands. Her eyes were glued to the small figure in my hands. I looked down at the baby and nodded.
“Yeah, I knew you were about to say that.” I laughed as I stepped over to her. She finally looked away from the baby and up at me with a smile. “How’d you sleep?” 
“Well, I slept.” She sighed deeply as she held the baby close to her. She looked down at him and smiled. “Hello, little man," she whispered as she brought her finger down his nose. “How did you sleep?” 
“To be honest, I don’t think I did.” I wrinkled my eyebrows as I sat back down. “Just… I’m not sure anymore. I didn’t sleep before he was born… But now I think I’ve lost all chances of sleep with him.” I chucked as I looked over at them. 
“Well… I mean, I’m sure your 12 cups of coffee a day won’t help that situation.” She laughed as she glanced at me. I slouched back in my chair, resting my head on my fist. “Or, well, I take that back. Keep drinking your 12 cups. I don’t want to wake up at 3 in the morning for diaper changes.” She sighed as she looked at the baby.
“Guess I’m going to need all of the time off in the world then,” I spoke through a yawn. My wife smiled at me and nodded. “Surely Emily won’t care if we’re both off for a while. She’s got plenty of help with the team.”
“I think I’ll need the help more than Emily,” my wife chuckled lightly. “You should get some rest, Spencer. You look more exhausted than me.” 
“How do you know what you look like?” I furrowed my eyebrows. She glanced at me before patting the small space beside her. I looked at her hand before yawning again.
“Just a guess. C’mere,” she looked at me as she moved her hand back and forth on the space. With a deep sigh, I stood up and moved so I was sitting beside her on the bed. “There, now you’ll sleep better.” 
“And where’d you get this science from?” I asked as I rested my head on her shoulder. She chuckled lightly and shrugged.
“On the science that I’m your wife and I know you sleep better when you’re beside me instead of a crappy hospital chair.” She looked down at me. I looked back at her before blinking lightly.
“Okay, that’s pretty sound logic.” I nodded as I looked down at the baby, who was back to sleep. It was amazing what a mother’s touch could do.
“See, like father, like son," she whispered as she brought her hand back up to her face. I furrowed my eyebrows before smiling. “Please get some sleep.”
“Beginning to sound like me there.” I lifted my head slightly to look at her. She looked back at me before pressing her lips to mine. 
“Sleep tight.” She ruffled my hair slightly. I smiled before resting me head back on her shoulder. 
I was happy when sleep came to me. It felt more restful than before… Maybe my wife’s scientific logic made sense...
taglist: @mggsprettygirl​ @muffin-cup​ @thebluetint​ @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​ 
if you want to be a part of a taglst or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here
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helliontherapscallion · 4 years ago
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Privileges (Adrenaline Junkie Part 11)
Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17
Spotify Playlist (collaborative)
Warnings: slight description of death/injury/illness, small description of homelessness, slight panic attack
Word count: 2,845
You and Arthur sat at the top of the cliff for a while sitting in silence. Glancing at the sun’s position, you guessed that it’s been a couple of hours. You continued to wait patiently for him to gather his courage that you knew he had. He looked conflicted. 
The wild herds of livestock grazed peacefully below you, filling the silence with various moos and oinks. Various flowers colorfully dotted the green grass with multiple shades of vibrant blues, yellows, whites, and reds. The few clouds that littered the baby blue sky rolled endlessly above you, giving you a sense of peace and entertainment when you tried to make out mobs from the abstract shapes. The breeze lightly blew against your skin making you shiver every now and then from the feeling of it working its way through your feathers and hair. It was a perfect day for flying.
While you were waiting, you took out the snacks and water and handed them to Arthur. He originally didn’t want them, but you insisted he at least drink something today. He needed hydration if he was going to sit under the hot sun for hours. Every time he would take a deep breath (which was often), you would perk up and look at him ready to fully divert your attention towards him, only to look elsewhere when he would sigh. You were starting to lose your patience, but you knew you had to hold out for Arthur. That poor kid looks like he’s been through a lot in such a short amount of time. 
You mindlessly munched on a granola bar. The chocolate and grain danced on your tastebuds in perfect harmony like an old married couple gleefully waltzing at their grandchild's wedding. Washing down the taste with water, you feel the cool liquid slither it’s way down your throat, relieving parts with it’s refreshing properties. You let your mind wander to your brothers.
Technoblade, ever the individualistic, nonconforming anarchist, lived a couple of hours outside the outskirts of the Dream SMP lands. You visited his house once and it was nice, but you really didn’t like the cold. Your metal prosthetic froze to your amputated wing and it took several painful hours of waiting by the fireplace for it to unstick to your feathers. Techno appeared indifferent of the situation, but you knew he cared deep down. He always was a softie for his family members. 
Wilbur was in his element in L’manberg. Leadership came naturally for him, and you were immensely grateful for that. Without him, L’manberg would’ve gone down in history with dishonor. L’manberg was thriving under his just rule. Infrastructure was slowly starting to spread throughout the entirety of the small nation, making it easier to travel. You always flew everywhere, much to the disapproval of Wilbur (“(y/n), can’t you just use the roads I just built?”), so the infrastructure never really affected your daily life. You appreciated that he was working so hard to build his symphony up from measure one to the end. He was truly the heart and soul of his great nation.
Tommy was… well for lack of a better description, Tommy. You were incredibly proud of him, giving up his prized music discs was a gigantic sacrifice for him. It really showed how much he grew up from being the toddler you met a little over a decade ago. Your little brother wreaked havoc in L’manberg, but a good kind of havoc. Tommy and his partner in crime Tubbo were the ones that eased tension during the War. Even after the War, they always actively searched for adventure. They made people smile as they would run past, they knew they were in for a show later on in the day. Tommy and Tubbo gave the nation life outside of its physical growth, they were the morale of the nation. 
You supposed that you were somewhat important to L’manberg, but not as important as your brothers. Sure, they used your inventions to help fight Dream and his goons, but they would’ve been able to do that without your creations. Though, it was satisfying to see the looks on their faces when the L’manbergians whipped out the portable TNT launchers and automatic crossbows to absolutely decimate them. You didn’t really supply L’manberg with physical or morale growth, you were just… there. In your cramped workshop. Tinkering endlessly with inventions that you hoped would make people’s lives easier. 
“(Y/n), I’m ready.”
You jumped a little, turning to him and giving him what you hoped was an encouraging smile. He took a deep breath, looking anywhere but at you.
“It started when I was seven. Mama and Papa were sick. We didn’t have enough money to pay for a doctor, so me and my brother Hugh were trying our best to take care of them. We weren’t good enough though, they died after a couple weeks. 
“People came to take us away from Mama and Papa, but Hugh told me to run away as far as I could. He told me that he’d be right behind me. So, we ran to the woods. He said that he knew a few people that lived there that’d be able to help. We lived with them for three years, they were nice people. 
“One day, they needed supplies so me and Hugh went to go find a cave. The cave we found was really pretty, it had tons of redstone and iron. We went deeper and deeper til we found a huger cave. It had tons of feathers there and some red brown stuff on the walls.” You felt a shiver run down your spine as you realized that those were probably yours. You wondered if they were still down there.
His voice started to get strained and wobbly. “A-and we saw it. Hugh told me to hide and not make any noise so I did and… and it killed him.”
Tears steadily dribbled down Arthur’s freckled cheeks as his lip wobbled and his nose turned as red as his hair. He was starting to hyperventilate. You reached over and pulled Arthur into a tight winged hug. You gently rubbed his back and whispered reassurances into his ear.
“It’s alright Arthur, please breathe with me. In,” you took a deep breath, “and out.” You let out the breath. Even though his breath was steady a few minutes later, you still kept him in a tight hug. It absolutely devastated you that he went through so much in his short life. He started sobbing again.
“(Y/n), it took his soul! Hugh’s still down there with it!” He blubbered out.Your hand froze on his shoulder. 
What. It can’t take souls, could it? That’s not possible, right? …Right? You were going to have to ask Philza about it, but Arthur is your first and only priority right now. His loud sobs were slightly muffled by your shoulder as you felt your shirt get slightly wet with his tears. You did your best to comfort him, but you weren’t used to comforting a child that just lost his only family. 
“I’ll never let that happen to you again. I promise.”
You sat with Arthur protectively wrapped in your arms until you saw that the sun was going to set in the next few minutes. Not good, not good at all. You looked down at Arthur, his eyes were closed in a deep sleep, taking deep shuddering breaths in and out. Good, you needed to get him out of there and you didn’t want to traumatize him anymore than he already is by showing him how mobs react when you’re near them. 
You hastily packed up your stuff before taking off as quickly as you could without waking the sleeping boy. You flew as fast as you could through the air, keeping a tight grip on Arthur as you cut through the darkening sky. You could see zombies, skeletons, spiders, and the occasional enderman below you. Luckily, they didn’t notice you as you flew overhead. 
Just as the lit up house entered your line of sight, you felt something whiz past you accompanied by a strong gust of wind. Looking down, you realized that it was a skeleton. It shooting an arrow garnered the attention of the surrounding mobs as they turned their heads to look directly at you. Shit.
You pushed yourself to fly faster and twisted your body so that if an arrow were to land, it would hit you and not Arthur. You felt the air around you shift as a myriad of arrows were shot at you. Dodging the best you could, you glanced down at Arthur. Still asleep. Good, he didn’t need to see this.
Getting closer to the house, you lowered yourself to the ground fully and pushed your feet against the grass, running for dear life as you heard a fwoosh of air right next to your ear. FInally, you reached the doorknob and swung the door open. Flinging yourself and Arthur inside, you slammed the door behind you, hearing the banging of arrows hitting the wood. 
You leaned against the door panting and closed your eyes, clutching Arthur closer to you in relief. You opened your eyes and peered down at his face. Still asleep? How much of a deep sleeper was this kid? Maybe he was just extremely emotionally tired from earlier. That’s probably how he impossibly slept through all that. 
You pushed yourself off the door and headed up to Wilbur’s, well Arthur’s room so you could put him to bed. You peeled the covers back and placed him gently on the mattress. You covered his body with the heavy comforter and tucked him in. His face visibly relaxed and a slight smile quirked onto his lips. You took a deep breath and stood there watching him. That was certainly a close one. Way too close for your tastes. You almost got him killed because you lost track of time. 
You swept the bangs out of his eyes and left the room, gently closing the door behind you. You tiredly drug yourself down the stairs to the kitchen so you could at least grab a small snack before passing out in the comfort of your bed. Today was just not your day. At least you’d get a decent night’s sleep tonight. 
Walking into the kitchen, you saw Philza sitting at the table looking at you with… was that relief or anger? Or a mix? He stood up and quickly walked over to you. You tensed up, fully expecting to get yelled at, only to feel him hug you. You melted into his touch and felt small tears prick at the corner of your eyes. You really needed a hug after today.
“Don’t ever do that again. I don’t care that you’re an adult, do you know how worried I was? I thought you and Arthur got hurt. He’s just a child and you’re on your last life (y/n). You need to be more careful.”
You didn’t say anything. You just buried your face into his shoulder and let out a silent sob. “I was so scared Arthur was gonna get hurt, I didn’t know what to do.”
The emotion you were holding in all day from sleep deprivation and lack of nutrients completely spilled out. You felt pathetic, crying in your dad’s arms like you were a kid again. He rubbed soothing circles on your back and led you to the couch where you both sat in each other’s arms. Once you calmed down, you pulled away and wiped at your eyes, facing away from him so he didn’t see your weakness. 
“I’m sorry, I just didn’t sleep at all last night and everything just… came out.”
“Hey,” he chided gently, making you look at him, “don’t apologize for feeling emotions. You were bottling it all up weren’t you?”
You nodded shamefully. “...And what did I tell you and your brothers about holding it in?”
“Not to do it.” Your croaky voice cracked out. 
He smiled at you. “That’s my kid. Did you talk to Arthur?”
“Yeah. He’s actually alone, Dad. He doesn’t have anyone out there for him. And he… he said that they saw my feathers and blood down there on the walls and floor. Saw his brother get killed right in front of him… mentioned something about The Warden stealing his brother’s soul? It can’t do that right?”
You were met with silence. “...Right? Dad, you’re scaring me.”
“Yes, The Warden takes the souls of it’s dead. It’s how they live so long, they trap the souls in their chests and feast on the lifespans in rations until the soul is completely integrated into it’s very being.”
So that’s what the screaming white wisps that haunted your nightmares were. They were the souls of the dead. They were screaming in agony when The Warden killed you, so you thought they still held onto their humanity. You remembered hearing thousands of screams echoing off from the stony walls of the dark cave. Shuttering, you remembered how some of the souls stared at you in desperation and despair. 
“...So the souls are trapped with it forever?”
He nodded, not looking at you. The Warden killed you in your first life, why were you still… still you? It doesn’t make sense. 
You swallowed thickly. “Then why didn’t it take mine?”
“I don’t know hun, I wish I could tell you why. I thought you died for good before you respawned. I thought it took your soul.” His voice cracked slightly at the end.
You pulled him into a hug. “It didn’t and I’m still here. That’s the important part, Dad. I’m still here.”
Continuing to give him comfort, you trailed off as you remembered your first death. What could’ve prevented it from taking your soul like the rest? You blanched thinking about what it would’ve been like to be stuck with The Warden indefinitely. Trapped and suffering until it was fully integrated into it’s monstrous body for the rest of eternity. It sounded like hell on Earth. Before today, you thought death was the absolute worst outcome, but you were mistaken. You were given the mercy, no the privilege, of death that day. 
Was it because of the stone platform you landed on? That must’ve been it, there’s no other way you could’ve respawned if you landed anywhere else; the stone platform was the only space you could’ve landed that was far enough above the ground to bleed out. You remembered how your shattered ribs would grind together as you endlessly sobbed and the hot blood dripping off from your forehead and wing warming up your rapidly cooling form. Dying like that was a privilege compared to what the lost souls of the miners endured. You didn’t know how long they’ve been in there, but you still would rather die like that a thousand times over than have to be trapped inside that thing for all of eternity. 
Your thought process was interrupted as Philza pulled away and wiped the tears from his eyes. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was slightly blotchy, it’s been a while since you’ve seen him like that. He’s always been strong for you and your brothers. 
“...Why don’t we grab some dinner before we go to bed, I assume you didn’t eat…?”
His sheepish look gave you all the answers you needed. “There’s some leftover mushroom soup we could eat.”
You stood up and gave him a bright smile. “Let’s dig in then, I’m starving!”
He laughed as you pulled him off the couch and into the kitchen. “Did you eat anything after breakfast?”
You paused slightly then continued to pour the soup into two bowls. “...That’s not important.”
He pursed his lips. “(Y/n).”
“I had like a quarter of a granola bar if that counts.”
“(Y/n) you went through the day with only half your breakfast and a few cups of coffee in your system?”
“I know, I know, not healthy. But that still doesn’t take away from the fact that you didn’t eat dinner either.” You slid the bowl over to him across the table. 
His eyes narrowed in thought before he sighed in defeat. “Touché.”
You snorted and started to eat your soup. You hummed as the earthy flavor shimmied around in your mouth comforting you after today’s events. You automatically felt better after eating. You always found comfort in food. Before you knew it, both you and Philza were done with your dinners and were leaning back in your chairs. You felt your eyes start to droop against your will.
“Why don’t you go to bed and I can clean up. You look like you’re gonna pass out.” He snickered. You hummed in agreement, too tired to argue and murmured out a quiet “thanks. G’night, love ya.” You drug your feet up the stairs and plop down on your bed, passing out instantly as soon as your head hit the pillow.
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plush-rabbit · 4 years ago
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Writing Notes
Request: If you're still accepting requests, id love to see Dabi and Mr. Compress and how they would react to their S/O leaving them cute little notes and stuff just for them? Love your writing dear!!
A/N: I hope you like them!! Note writing is so cute and if I had the patience for it, I would probably take it up but alas, I have no one to write to so y’all are stuck with author’s notes and tags!!
-
Dabi:
Dabi is emotional, he wears his heart on his sleeve even if he won’t admit it or show it. To have you leave cute notes around his room- stuck between a book, under a half empty bottle of beer, or even placed onto the lid of his cream- he always seems to find them. He won’t ever admit it and he hardly ever brings up your little surprises, but he does appreciate them. They’re sweet. They’re probably the nicest things that anyone has ever done for Dabi in the time that he’s been alive. He’ll hold your note in his hand, the brightly colored piece of paper decorated with your handwriting and he takes a long time to read the note, lingering on each word, smiling when he realizes that you have different ways of writing the letter ‘e’ and how the note is free of wrinkles.
Your choice of pen changes with each day. One day it’s a glitter pen, the other, a fine tip, the next it’s gel, and it’s different everyday. The paper is neat- decorated with flowers in the corner and most of the time, there are small doodles. One day he got a note with a quickly drawn image of him, flowers and stars near him and it was soft, something so sweet and innocent that he stood for a few minutes wondering why you would draw him.
The notes are placed in a tin box, bent from the years and scratched from time, but still sturdy with a secure lock. He keeps all your notes safely tucked in. He can’t bear to fold them, and he’s tried to make origami with them, but the papers vary in size and he can’t bear the thought of folding them let alone to cut them. So, he lays them flat in the tin box that is clean and smells of rubbing alcohol. He doesn’t want anything to sully your notes, one of the few things that he has that is just for him.
He won’t ever reread the notes. He’ll keep them safely tucked away, memories and words of love etched forever in your writing that is kept safe in the dark. There are nights when you aren’t around that he’ll place the box beside him, a calloused finger that runs against the edge of the box and he’ll stare at it. He finds that going back to your words is something of a cheap thing to do. It’s almost selfish for him to do so. He holds guilt heavy in heart but resentment and anger will always win. But, when he stares at your words, when his memory starts to recall the papers written with lily white words, he doesn’t feel so bad about it, to taint the paper that you touched with his hands covered in ash and burning skin. He lies in bed with either you by his side or alone, the weight of your words echoing in his mind until he’s fallen asleep.
Dabi really enjoys the sentiment of you writing notes to him. It’s domestic, something that he’ll never have. He may hate himself, may wish for death and commit to the act, but he isn’t emotionless. He feels so much that it burns him and he is so starved for any type of touch that isn’t fists. His lips are scarred and skin is burnt, staples hold him together but his mind crumbles, and yet, your notes seem to ground him. Simple words written on a paper that leave him breathless and wistful to imagine a life where he can hold your notes in his hand again, where he won’t sully the words that you chose to give to him.
Sako Atsuhiro:
Atsuhiro loves the notes that you write for him. A romantic at heart, he holds them dearly to his chest. He’ll hardly read them in front of you, however, preferring to keep his expression a secret even if he does know that it’s you writing him such sweet things. He's a bit odd in this sense, wanting to keep his reaction so secret when he’s usually so expressive already. Although, he does have a good reasoning for this. He likes to take his time with it, to hold the note in his hand and let his eyes. He’s had relationships in the past, but they were never like this, they were never so vulnerable and filled with bits of something so sweet. It was always passionate, a spur of the moment where something so domestic could be waiting for him. And yet, here you are with a pen in hand and your lips against his cheeks.
He’ll think about the notes constantly, lean against a beaten down seat of the van, let his eyes drift to the opposite side of the wall and think about your notes. His eyes will grow soft, a smile on his lips and he’s thankful for the mask, keeping his emotions hidden from the others. It’s no secret how much you mean to him and how much he means to you, but there are some things that he wants to remain private and your words to him happen to be one of those. He’ll lean and close his eyes, fingers dancing against his legs as he wonders what to do with your notes. The thought of marbling them has come across his mind but he’s scared to lose something so precious for him. For now, they remain tucked neatly into a folder- something for the time being until he finds the perfect place to store them.
During bad days, rereading your notes to him makes him feel better. It’s days where the heat burns against his skin, where sleep calls to him like a siren and he’s reaching towards the folder, pulling out a letter carefully to read your words. Some of them are longer than others. Some tell him to simply have a good day and others remind him to drink water. There are a few- his favorite, really- that call him handsome and speak of his devotion and he holds those close to him. Not everyday is easy and he can’t have you beside him as much as he would like, but he has your notes. He’ll stay up late reading them, sleep dragging his lids down, tears in his eyes when he yawns and he’ll spend the night reading.
He’s tried writing you his own notes, but it always comes out lackluster. He adores you, he simply does, but for some reason, when trying to express his words on paper, they fall flat. Papers are crumpled up, thrown to the trashcan and he’s wondering what he’s doing wrong and why they won’t come out like yours. The pen is halfway used through its ink and your folder of letters sit at the table that he writes and he’ll sigh. He’s not giving up- he won’t admit that, at least- but trying to write like you feels foreign to him. Your love for him is best expressed on paper- it’s simple, something so small but so significant in his life that he’s grown so attached that he can’t bear to lose a single note no matter how “insignificant” it may be. Your notes are words that you don’t get a chance to say out loud, they’re something for him. His love isn’t like that. It’s louder and prouder, it’s him constantly having a hand on your and kissing your temple.
He adores them. They’re his notes, his reminder to take care of himself, his own thing that cannot be taken away from him; they are his love from you to him. He’ll sit beside you, hold your hand in his, and clear his throat. Atsuhiro will pull out the folder, clearing his throat and ask if you would read some of the notes to him. It’s embarrassing enough to know that you know that he keeps the notes but if he has to admit that in order to hear your voice read the notes, he’d do it again and again. His arms will wrap around your midsection, his head between your stomach and chest, and he’ll ignore your teasing laughter, and focus how your fingers twist around his hair and curl it softly. He’ll focus on your voice and murmur how a certain one is his favorite as you read to him. It’s a delicate moment where you’re with something so precious to him. You take delicate care to not let a paper crinkle under your fingertips. His lips will press on your stomach, and he’ll return to listening to you read the letters until he can hear you yawn.
170 notes · View notes
wangshuus · 4 years ago
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no love left | diluc ragnvindr
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pairing: diluc ragnvindr/gn. reader
genre: angst
wc: 3.2k
cw: mild cussing, brief mentions of violence, probably lore breaking too lol. 
summary: falling out of love is painful but maybe it’s what you needed.
note: please read the authors note after the story ESPECIALLY if you’re confused because i’ve implemented a few odd aspects into this story. i was just typing out whatever so essentially it’s more word vomit (again lol) but uhh yeah. most of the important stuff is at the bottom so like i said before, read that authors note at the end!!
lightly proofread, please don’t mind any errors
fic below the cut.
When the esteemed bachelor Diluc Ragnvindr finally settled down with a lover, the news did not fail to spread across Mondstadt like a wildfire. It was the talk of town for who knows how long but as time passed, the people settled down and the buzz eventually died but no one ever failed to acknowledge the young Ragnvindr and his beloved when they were together. Although the two preferred to keep a composed look to the public eye, the admiration they held for each other burned as bright as a summers day in their eyes at all times when they were together; from that alone, anyone could tell they were in love
So where did it all go wrong?
You sat across from Diluc at a table in the winery, the air thick with a suffocating tension that felt like it was going to swallow you whole at any minute now. Your hands rested on the table in front of you as you barely managed to keep your hands from trembling as a storm of emotions stirred inside of you as you felt your composure on the brink of cracking any second. You decided to finally break the silence as you spoke up, a slight tremble in your voice.
“What is it Diluc? Huh? I was hoping you’d have the decency to speak up about whatever the hell is going on instead of leaving me in the dark but it’s been far too long now. Now tell me Diluc, what’s going on?”
Oh the way your words slipped from your mouth made the room feel so cold, even if you didn’t wield a vision of any sorts. Diluc took a deep breath before he decided to speak up.
“What went on between the two of us was purely business.” Was the simple statement he gave.
Was?
“They’ve shown themselves to be quite the individual, wielding good etiquette with both business and a weapon.” He spoke out once more.
“God sake Diluc you’re fucking stalling at this point. You know what, I’ll make it easier for you. Do you still love me?”
There was a pause. A long painful pause. You already had your answer.
“(Y/n), I still care for you more than you can ever imagine, I truly do.”
The words felt like knives piercing through your form and from that, you felt the first tear slip down your face.
“Diluc, are you even aware of how terrible I feel in this situation right now? I’m watching my lover from a far doing lord knows what and you expect me to just tolerate it? I trusted you enough which is why I never pried at it but fuck Diluc, it’s just unbearable at this point.”
“I never did act upon anything in fears of making the situation worse--” You cut him off.
“Making the situation worse huh? So you were out here trying to do some crowd control weren't you? Was if for the sake of not hurting me or or for the sake of not tainting your pristine reputation?”
“I said before, I really do care for you still.” His hand reached towards your own as he held your hand with utmost gentleness. You were almost convinced he still loved you as much as he did in the past.
“However, I can’t deny that our dynamic has indeed changed. I…” His grip on your hand tightened.
“I can’t lie to you and say that I love you the way I did before.”
There it was.
“You don’t look at me the way you used to, you know? Your eyes used to be so full of love whenever you looked at me but that look is reserved for someone else now, isn’t it? You’ve looked at me with nothing but sorrow and pity nowadays and I guess my assumptions of the worst were correct.” You said as your voice trembled even more.
You wanted to pull your hand away so badly, the hand that once brought you such warmth now felt as if it was searing your skin. But you couldn’t. Not when this was mostly likely the last time you’d ever feel such an intimate touch from him. You found yourself to be conflicted as to whether you wanted to pull away out of pure frustration or savour the moment as it could be the last of him you would ever get to have for yourself.
“(Y/n), from the bottom of my heart, I’m truly sorry. I’ve loved you for so long and you’ve given me more love than I could’ve ever imagined. I never wanted things to change but I suppose fate had other plans. I’ll never stop caring for you however, I’m afraid I’ve stopped loving you in the way you’re used to.”
The truthful words were ones that felt like hell to swallow. You didn’t want to believe it but you knew damn well he was telling the truth. The sincerity and softness in his voice made it so hard to be completely mad at him. He was so gentle with his words but the truth of them did nothing but make your heart hurt and ache. An empty chuckle left your lips as your features were now graced with a bittersweet smile.
“Ah, I think I would’ve appreciated it if you were meaner with your responses. Maybe then I wouldn’t have such a hard time letting you go.” You finally managed to look him in the eyes, his reflection showing on your glossy orbs.
He felt his own heart churn with remorse and guilt, seeing as he terribly hurt the one person that he had sworn to love and protect for the rest of his days. He felt sick over the fact he failed to keep part of the promise-- the part where he said that he would continue to love you.
That was one of the last times you had ever seen Diluc Ragnvindr.
--
Your body shook as the freezing temperatures of Dragonspine overtook your senses. You sat up against a rock, your back leaning onto it as you struggled to keep yourself upright. You were barely holding on by a thread as you physically felt numb. However, your mind swirled with a storm of emotions, almost as strong as the last day you had seen your ex-lover but this time, you reminisced on your time as you felt like this would be your final moments.
You pondered over the fact that this might’ve been the reason that he no longer loved you in the way you wished to be loved by him. You wanted his affections, you wanted his love, you wanted him. But you were too weak. That was it. He let you go for someone that was strong, so very strong; both mentally and physically. God, you couldn’t even compare to the likes of them, being nothing but a measly old adventurer, one that wasn’t even fortunate enough to wield a vision. You were nothing but weak in your own eyes; that's what brought you to your demise.
In your hands, you clutched one of the last treasures you had found in the cursed mountains. It was a pretty little collar that held a jewel that twinkled so beautifully despite the dull, hazy environment.
“You do not wish to be weak anymore do you, little one? Do not be afraid, put me on and I’ll grant you the desires you so wish to obtain. Abide by my rules and obtain for me the essence of life and together, we can make sure that everyone will hail before you.”
A voice echoed inside your head as your mind began to spiral. All morals, memories and feelings began to drown out until you were barely hanging on by thread.
“Hurry, time is of the essence! Quick!”
With little energy you had left, you were able to hang the new found possession around your neck. The second you let go of the clips that held the piece together, you felt a tight constriction around your neck, the feeling was suffocating. Just like the last time you had seen Diluc. For a moment, you thought of the red haired male you once held to dear and close to your heart. It ached for him once more in that very moment because he was the very essence of warmth and it was something that you so desired in such a moment like this. The way he held you against him in the coldest of nights in an attempt to keep you warm and oh how it worked wonderfully. It was a memory that slowly faded away with your conscience. Your hands graced themselves lightly around your neck as you struggled to breathe even more than before, your body finally running out of any sort of energy as you fell limp against the cold and soft snow.
Anything. From this point on, you would do anything to get stronger. You no longer cared for any mishaps that happened along the way. You had no love left, nothing but the hunger for power that drowned out the aching void that was now left behind after everything was torn away from you.
“Sorry... to also have you shoulder the grievances of the world. Since you could endure my bitter cold, you must have the desire to burn? Then, burn away the old world for me.”
Within the bustling harsh winds of the Dragonspine mountains laid a girl with a jewelled necklace as well as a cold, icy blue orb that shined brightly against the blizzards.
--
“The expedition out in Dragonspine was a complete disaster! The winds were harsher than usual and how could we predict such a nasty storm would’ve been upon us? We planned so far ahead and yet it ended up utterly terrible.” One of the adventurers commented as they were in the process of recovering after descending from the unforgiving mountains.
“Did everyone that went on the expedition come back? There’s absolutely no way we can risk going up there again, at least not for a while.” Another commented.
There was an excruciating silence within the camp.
“Has anyone seen (Y/n)?”
--
Diluc had set out once the late hours of the night and the early hours of the morning came upon him. He continued to lurk from the shadows and deal with whatever trivial matters that had to be dealt with in the dead of night as he always did. He had heard of a few nuisances that arose near the outskirts of Dragonspine that hadn’t been dealt with yet. Of course the knights wouldn’t bother with this anyways, as per usual what he thought to himself.
Though the male held a pyro vision, the sharp and bitter cold of Dragonspine was something that never failed to make him uncomfortable.
He swiftly made his way to the location, being stealthy and fast with his movements in an attempt to get the job done faster to refrain from being caught. Once he had made his way to the destination, he remained hidden while he examined the area. In the far distance, he saw camps, hilichurl as well as Fatui camps that were not too far off. His face held a look of distaste as his eyes laid upon the familiar trademark symbol of the Snezhnayan organization.
Just as he was about to step out and deal with the hilichurl camp himself, a figure emerged from afar and into the camp. The movements of said person were agile, fast and swift, ice shards being directed in the direction of every living being on the camp. A blizzard stirred so fiercely upon the camp and as the barbaric bitter winds of the snow died down, there was almost nothing left of the camp that once stood there.
Not a single soul.
Diluc very cautiously moved closer to get a better look at the strange person that appeared before him. His eyes widened in disbelief as he started to make out the figure, his mind refusing to believe what he saw in front him, almost regretting letting his curiosity get the best of him.
“I wasn’t aware that you people are unable to take care of a measly little hilichurl camp. I specifically stated to clear the area before anything else and you couldn’t even follow instructions as simple as that, or perhaps I wasn’t clear enough with my statement?” An icy voice boomed out towards a trio of Fatui skirmishers.
That voice was all too familiar to Diluc. It was so familiar yet it sounded so different, so harsh, so cold. Yet, it was the voice that confirmed his unruly suspicions.
“Make up for your poor performance by getting the camps set up in a decent manner at the very least. I’d rather spare myself the trouble of punishing the likes of you people. You don’t wish to cross me any further, do you?” A cold, hard glare very evident on your fact that was directed to the three in front of you.
They frantically shook their heads, sputtering out a series apologies in an attempt to ease your annoyance.
“Make use of yourselves and set up immediately. By the time I come back to supervise the area, everything should be set up in a manner that is nothing less than perfect. If you wish to please me this time, do as you’re told this time. Now go.” You shook them off with a wave of a hand as they saw themselves away in an instant.
You took your time to avoid the now empty camp that rid itself of almost all remains. A hand placed itself atop the jewel that gracefully sat between your collarbones. The voices that swirled in your head chanting for more power and more life eventually died down as the constrictions of your beloved collar began to loosen, just enough so you could breathe. You let out a breathe that you had been holding before regaining your composure. You stood up straight with a proud stature before speaking out.
“I know you are there, may as well come forth voluntarily unless you want be to bring you out myself.”
Diluc’s blood ran cold when he realized that that you were most likely referring to him, baffled at how you were able to pick up on his own presence. He cautiously revealed himself and made his way a little closer to you. The second you laid eyes on the redhead, you felt like your world stopped for a second. The initial shock was replaced with amusement as the scene unfolded in front of you.
“And to think that last time we saw each other would be the last.” You said before bitterly chuckling.
Diluc took some time to muster up words and recover from his initial shock.
“You never came back from that mission. You were claimed to be dead by the guild the day after and yet here you are. The people mourned over you. I mourned for you. What has become of you, (Y/n)?” Diluc spoke out, pain and sadness laced within his tone.
“Ha, they mourned? As well as yourself? Don’t make me laugh Ragnvindr. Was your mourning perhaps an act in an attempt to keep up your reputation. Would not surprise me in the slightest if that were the case. I refuse to accept the pity of others, and I absolutely detest if it is empty and meaningless. Pity is for those who are weak and as far as I’m concerned--”
You stepped closer to Diluc before you continued.
“I’m not weak anymore.”
“(Y/n), you were never weak--” Diluc said before he was cut off.
“Bullshit Ragnvindr. Utter bullshit.” You harshly spat.
“I wasn’t able to handle myself before. I was nothing but weak. It was one of the reasons you fell out of love with me, was it not? You wanted a strong individual that could take care of themselves and you sure got one, but it wasn’t me at the time. Look now Ragnvindr, I am strong now.”
He took a better look at you as the realization of your position has begun to sink in.
“You... you’re…” In one of the rare times of his life, he was at a loss for words.
“Ah, Ah, Cat got your tongue? Poor boy can’t even muster up any words.” You chuckled mockingly.
“Fatui Harbinger, Ragnvindr. Number 12. Surely you’ve heard right?” You boldly stated.
Yes, he did hear. The Tsaritsa had taken another Harbinger under her wing yet the news and information of said Harbinger was extremely scarce and yet, No.12 stood right before Diluc.
No.12 was once his own beloved.
“What exactly led to all of this? What caused all of this to happen? What have you done to yourself?” The questions kept pouring out from Diluc’s mouth.
“It was quite simple. I got sick and tired of being weak and having things being taken from me. I have lost too many things to count and I have sacrificed many things to become who I am today. I do not regret a single thing I have done since I have started being selfish and being selfish has kept me from getting hurt again. I do not need you anymore, I do not need anyone in fact. I live for myself and to serve the needs of the Tsaritsa to repay her for giving me a chance to live the way I should’ve been all along.” You look at him with a taunting smirk on your face.
The (Y/n) (L/n) that was once known to be the beloved of Diluc Ragnvindr was dead. They died the moment you stepped out of the winery for the very last time. You were (Y/n), No.12 of the Fatui Harbingers. You were the one that sacrificed yourself to a curse upon the Dragonspine mountains in exchange for power to fill the void that was left behind. You no longer had the longing for love; you had none left after all. You craved for power and leverage over others and you refused to let people trample over you like they did before. You refused to be weak again. With the help of your new found vision as well as the curse that now burdened you, you would conquer the world and burn the old one away, along with your old self.
With no love left, there was nothing left to lose after all.
A/N: SOOOO the whole choker thing might be a little confusing but BASICALLY i took the whole concept from the “Love me, Love me, Love me.” song where the girl gets that cursed necklace/choker and i changed the concept around a little bit so that in exchange for power, dear reader has to basically slaughter things to keep the choker from killing them LOL (I’m tired pls my mind if SPIRIALING rn lmfao)
the italics in the second chunk are the weird choker speaking to the reader since it's a whole ‘curse’ thing and the bold italics in the second chunk is basically a quote from genshin from the cryo gemstone thingies and i used it to signify the reader getting a cryo vision^^ there’s a lot i wanna say but i’m too lazy to elaborate sorry lol. kinda feel like making more parts to this bc i feel like the story could go one but ehhh we’ll see how I’m feeling. i really just wanted to make a oneshot where the reader goes batshit after so ahahahahhaha. (also this fic feels lore breaking as fuck but its ok LMAO)
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valentina-writes · 4 years ago
Text
Starfall
Word count: 2.2k
A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this, feel free to ask for a specific imagine, headcanon or oneshot. At first I will only write for Azriel. Thanks for reading!
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“Look, y/n, there is nothing you need to worry about. Nothing. It’s Azriel we are talking about. He may be a spymaster, but he’s pretty damn clueless at the same time”, your best friend Mor reminded you.
The two of you were standing in your bedroom in the House of Wind, getting ready for starfall. You had just been talking about your crush on the spymaster in question - to be honest, that was no surprise. You had found a person to rely on when you told Mor about your feelings for him. And since then somehow all of your conversations seemed to be about him.
“I know, Mor, I know! But everything I do, everything I say seems so obvious to me. And I can’t even do anything about it! I try being decent about it, but it’s always the same. We start talking about anything and I can only concentrate on how close he is and on his eyes and his face and his lips and then I start blushing and it gets super awkward”.
Embarassing memories of your last birthday came to your mind, where you had hugged him for the present he gave you - a beautiful necklace - and he had been noticably uncomfortable for the rest of the evening, shadows surrounding him. Then Mor, already super drunk, had nearly told him you were in love with him, after you tried to apologize and talk about the next mission he would be sent on.
She thought about your concerns for a while and just said: “Then try not to talk to him. I don’t think that he ever noticed anything weird about your behavior, because then he would’ve said something. But if you are not comfortable striking up a conversation because of what could happen, just don’t do it”.
Then she left your bedroom mumbling something about Rhys’ wine and you were left on your own.
Your heart was beating in anticipation and fear. You would see Azriel today. Truly see him, after months of only getting a few glimpses at him before he was sent on his next mission.
But what would he do if he noticed that you were in love with him? Would he push you away? Tell you that he’s still not over Mor? Laugh at you for your childish hopes?
You pushed your worries aside and smoothed out your dark blue dress. Today was a holiday. A festive day meant to be celebrated. Even if you would deeply embarrass yourself again, there would still be Mor and Cassian and Rhys’ good wine to help you forget what you had done.
When you left your room, there was already music playing and a few guests chatting and drinking. The house was beautifully decorated. But you could not appreciate any of that. 
“Y/n! Come over here!”, Cassian called out to you. You quickly spotted him and braced yourself. Where Cassian was, there usually was Azriel too.
And yes, there next to Cassian, hidden behind his raging shadows, was Azriel, handsome as ever. You quickly shifted your glance to the group surrounding him, unable to look at him for another second.
You could not have him. Never. He was still in love with Mor, still not over his past. And though you couldn’t blame him for that, your feelings did not cease. If anything, they grew stronger by the second. And that terrified you. Because what if you would spend eternity yearning and longing for him like you were now?
“Are you alright?”, Rhys asked you. He looked concerned, as if he could see right through you.
“Yes, it’s fine. I’m just a little tired, that’s all”, you quickly said and smiled at him. That wasn’t even a lie. Since Azriel had been on one of his dangerous missions to the Autumn Court, you hadn’t been able to sleep at night, always fearing for his life. Every morning when a new report from him came, you were incredibly happy. He was alive.
“Well, then prepare to be even more tired tomorrow. You won’t get any sleep tonight!”, Cassian exclaimed, pointing at the dance floor that was now filling up.
“We will see, Cassy, we will see”.
“Cassy? I like that. I like that a lot. Maybe I should call you Cassy baby. That fits your childish antics”, Amren said, joining your group. You were almost sure that you heard a low chuckle out of Azriel’s direction.
“I should better get going”, Rhys quietly excused himself, walking towards Feyre, the newest addition to your circle. He seemed to be drawn towards her, like you were towards Azriel. The only difference being that she acted the same way as Rhysand, instead of kepping away.
“Me too. I’m gonna get Mor, I don’t want her to drink all of the good stuff herself”, Cassian said and disappeared in the crowd. You desperately wanted him to stay. Being alone with Azriel would only lead to awkward looks and you rambling on and on about something like the weather.
“Gosh, if they keep going like that they won’t be able to stand upright at the end of the night”. Amren shot some glances at you and Azriel, while saying that. You had never explicitly told her about your feelings, but still it looked like she knew something. Probably because of how obvious you usually were about your feelings.
“Anyway, that’s too funny not to watch. I will have them get me some fresh blood tomorrow for keeping an eye on them”. Amren mouthed a good luck to you and then made her way through the crowd, too - in a totally different direction than Cassian. You would not get her any blood, that was for sure. She had set you and Azriel up against your will. 
You felt your cheeks heating up, when you turned to face Azriel. His face showed no sign of noticing what Amren just had done.
“Hi”, you breathed, “it’s nice to see you”. You tried your best holding his gaze without showing how he made you feel. How his hazel eyes burned into your soul, making your knees wobbly and heart pound.
“It’s nice to see you too, y/n”, he answered.
For a while you just stood there, watching the others. Mor and Cassian had started a very ... unconservative looking dance battle. You started to think about what you could tell him, how you could start a conversation. When all of a sudden-
“Do you want to dance?”. It was more of a whisper than anything else, nearly drowning in the noise of the crowd.
You spun around to see him looking at you. For the first time today you allowed yourself to look at him, truly look at him. He looked very tired and reserved, his wings tucked tightly against his back. The usual look of shyness surrounding his face. You could not look away, drank in his features, noticing his dark blue suit. The same color as his siphons he didn’t wear today. The same color as your dress.
“Yes”, you said, smiling. Your heart began to beat even faster when he laid his hand on your waist and lead you to the dance floor. Subconsciously, you shivered at the feeling of his hands through the thin fabric of your gown. 
Azriel pulled you closer and started to slowly dance with you. You silently prayed. Dear Mother, please don’t let him hear my heartbeat. Don’t let him find out.
“I didn’t know that you can dance”, you said. He expertly waltzed you through the room. In that moment only the two of you seemed to exist. Everybody else had disappeared from your mind.
“I enjoy dancing. But only with the right partner”. Your heart fluttered in your chest at this comment. 
He opened his mouth as to say something else, but suddenly his shadows left their usual place aroung his neck and chest and darted towards you.
They brushed your face and arms, as if they wanted to play with you. You even thought you could hear them whisper things in your ear - too silent to actually make it out.
“I’m sorry, y/n”, he gasped, trying to regain control. His face looked pained, almost shocked, as he let you go and surrounded his shadows around him again. He shook his head and went out onto a near balcony.
What had just happened there? What did this mean? You went after him, wanting to see if he was okay. 
You joined him on the balcony, his wings flared as if he wanted to leave. He was so beautiful against the night sky. All of the stars looking dull in comparison to him. Laying your hand on his arm, you turned him around.
“Why did you stop?”, you wanted to kow. You did not care about the blush on your face or the concern in your voice. You did not care about exposing your feelings to him. All you cared about was him.
“It’s ... my shadows. I couldn’t control them. I’m sorry, y/n”, he repeated.
You took another step towards him, not understanding his reasoning.
“What do you mean?”. He frowned and looked down for a second. His shadows were already starting to reach out to you again.
“Most people ... most people fear them They don’t like being close to them. Close to me”. You glanced at his shadows and reached for one of them, touching it. It felt cool against your hand, chilly like the air surrounding you. 
“I don’t care, Az, they are a part of you. And to me, they appear rather playful if anything”. Again, he looked down. Almost ashamed. But then his shadows swirled freely around you, like the evening breeze.
“Also, they don’t like being near most people. They shy away. But with you ... they call out to you. Want to be near you”. Your heart missed a beat. His shadows... but that didn’t mean that he felt the same way, right? Maybe that’s why he was so embarrassed. Because his shadows acted against his will.
As you ran your fingers through the shadows and looked at his face, the way his eyes glowed in the moonlight, you made a decision. This could not go on the way it did for the last one-hundred years. You loved him. Every part of him. And if he did not feel the same way, you would end it here and now.
“Azriel, I...”, you started, but he stopped you.
“Don’t, y/n. Please, don’t”. Pain appeared in his eyes, his wings and shadows folding around him, as if to protect him. But you did not budge.
“Az, I love... I love you. I have loved you since I met you. I did not plan on telling you this, but I...I cannot live like this anymore. The constant hiding and the fear of exposing my feelings. I love you. Every part of you. And if you don’t feel the same way about me ... then that’s fine”. When this burden, the feelings you had kept to yourself for such a long time, fell from your chest, you felt weak. He would send you away, tell you he didn’t feel the same. 
You already turned around, unable to look at the shock in his eyes anymore, when his shadows pulled you back. His expression softened as he looked at your face.
“I love you too, y/n. But I was scared. Scared that this would not work out, scared of opening up. Scared of the possibility that I wasted over four hundred years waiting for Mor to fall in love with me. I did not know how to approach you, what to tell you. I wanted to be with you, yes I did. But it felt impossible, so I tried pushing you away”. He breathed out, relaxing. He loved you. He loved you. That was all you could think about.
“I went on all these missions to try to get my head free. I tried not to think about you or my feelings or how you felt about me. I tried to stop my feelings. But when I saw you today, for the first time in months ... I did not know how to react. And then we were dancing and ... the shadows gave everything away”. You reached out for his hands, holding them in yours. He let out a sharp breath but then relaxed at your touch.
“I could not sleep when you were gone”, you said, your voice barely more then a whisper, “I was afraid something would happen to you. And I was the one to check your reports every day. I nearly died every night at the thought of you dying”. Tears started to form in his eyes, as he pulled you closer.
“That’s what I felt like too”, he murmured against your hair. You let out a deep sigh.
Azriel cradled your face in his hands, ever so gently and kissed you on your lips. His wings closed around you as he deepened the kiss, slowly tasting your lips and melting into your touch.
His shadows now caressed you as he held you close. The kiss was long and sensual, as if he had waited for this to happen for a long time. As if he could never get enough of you.
And when both of you had run out of breath, you just silently stood there on the balcony, wrapped in his wings and arms, listening to his heartbeat as the stars around you fell.
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