astrangerthatcares - Tumblr blog

[astrangerthatcares]

i read your reasons to live post and the "your pets wont know where you went" really got to me because they really wouldnt and i dont ever want to leave them like that, but i dont know how to really live anymore. the apathy is sucking my joy out of everything and the sadness is always in the back of my mind. when i try to picture myself in the future, i cant imagine living past graduation, because i dont even want to. right now im writing this because im about 10 hours from being 100 days clean from s/h and the only thing preventing a relapse is my mental and physical exhaustion prevent me from bothering to do it. eating has started to upset me to make me feel guilty to the point where eating nauseates me, to where even my safe foods dont feel safe anymore. i dont know what to do anymore, i cant even remember the last time i was truly happy, not just an extreme mood swing or the kind of happiness where you can feel the sadness waiting in the back of your mind. why do i have to live, why do those reasons even matter, if they are just to keep me from dying rather than making me want to live? i dont even think the answer to that question really matters to me, i think all i really wanted is to know there was a real person out there who would listen to my problems and understand/care without the fear of burdening the few people who havent left me. im sorry if this ramble makes no sense i have a headache and dont care to proofread my ask otherwise ill feel like asking you is stupid and will delete this all and bottle it back up with the rest of my emotions. i probably sound like some stupid angsty teen but i cant bother to word this all better and eloquently when it doesnt really matter anyways

Anon, honestly, you sound like a mix of an old friend of mine and I.

It does matter, but I don't care if you write like Shakespeare or you are a disaster. I know it is hard to live. That's the whole point of it. I know I sound like a Mr. Wonderful mug, but in the end you can always find a way to be happy. It might be to read, to be with somebody, music or anything actually.

Now, these reasons are important, because I can't tell you how to be happy living, but if you die you really can't live happily. If you keep living you'll find happiness, trust me. Maybe not today, maybe not in a month, but you'll find it.

A lot of people stop liking to do stuff when they are depressed and don't want to live, but there is something the people I know that have gone through this like- music. I have a friend that learned every Alan Walker song. Another one played the violin. And the other just played rendom music. Try it. If you want to, through private messages you can tell me who you are. We can talk in a way that helps you more if I know more about you. No need to do it tho.

Please, be safe anon

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

TW: s/h talk hey, recently ive been under a lot of stress because of personal issues and school starting back up again. it was all so much that i relapsed but not too badly, thank goodness. now, a few days later, the wounds have healed and i'm restarting my streak when I find this blog. (personal best: 8 months :D)

i'll most likely be reading through the resources on this blog to try and find alternatives just in case something like this (almost) happens again, and i just want to say, to whoever admins this blog: Thank you. And to those who are thinking of hurting yourself as a way to deal with stuff going on in ur life, please don't. In the words of my closest friend: "Once you start, it stays with you." ive always felt bad about venting to anyone because I didn't want to worry them with my troubles, and there are many people who I don't trust due to them having connections to my overbearing parents. Nonetheless, it's still important to be able to just let it out sometimes, because when you bottle it up, it's like sealing dry ice in an airtight container and microwaving it. The pressure keeps building until you reach that breaking point and it just explodes. That's why it's important to have a safe outlet for all of this. (Originally, this ask was just supposed to be a thank-you to this blog, but I get the feeling there are others who need to see this as well.) (Also, I get the feeling I may return in the future, so can I be sea-dragon anon? 🌊🐉)

Sea dragon anon, thanks for this! I hope you don't relapse again, but if it happens I am here to help. I also think your message is important because a lot of people don't tell and they do end up exploding as you said. Something I am doing now that I haven't felt too well is play chess. I am horrible at it, but it relaxes me. Try it!

If anybody wants to see me lose at chess, tell me and I'll tell you where I play online. It's also good to laugh at others people's mistakes!.

[astrangerthatcares]

I’ve used ice to help with panic attacks, like you said in your reply to my last ask, and it does really help!! It’s like the tension and hurt melts away with the ice! Plus, the cold is very sensory.

-🦊 Foxie Anon

I'm glad it helped! I can't bare the ice bc it's so cold but do it if it helps!'Hope you stay well for a really long time, Foxie Anon.

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

Hey there, I just want to say thank you. I just found your blog, like, right now, and I had a pretty bad anxiety/panic attack last night. I struggle with sh, and I’ve been clean for 7 months by now, but it gets harder every day. I just read your post, 10 things to do instead of self-harming, and I think I’ll try a few out next time I get really bad urges. Sometimes, I think that life isn’t worth living, but it’s people like you that show how beautiful life can be. A random person, like you, care about people’s feelings. That’s just pretty special to me. Thank you for being a kind and special person.

-🦊 Foxie Anon

Hi Foxie anon!

Some people also say holding ice is good to help with sh, but since I can't do that I never knew. You can also try that! Always remember it is worth living, and if you haven't found it, I also have a 10 resons not to kill yourself post! Please take care and send an update saying if you are better.

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

thank you for caring, stranger. I care about you too

Thanks anon! Wherever you are, if you have a problem you can always tell me

[astrangerthatcares]

Hey, stop scrolling.

Everyone who is reading this: I’m so glad you’re alive. I’m so proud of you. You are loved. I’m here. Don’t give up, we’re almost there.

Pass it on.

[astrangerthatcares]

Hey Stranger.

Firstly, I wanna say I appreciate you doing this. I found your blog through the self harm tips post. Though I don’t personally SH, I have people who do and I got to send it to one of them. You’ve already helped people, and I know you’re bound to help countless others.

I apologize if this post is jumbled, or if this a seemingly small problem, but I need a fresh perspective here. This is going to be a long post because it requires a lot of context.

I am a high schooler going into junior year. Early on in freshman year, I met a dear friend that we will call Cyan for now. Cyan and I hit it off instantly, and we very clearly had feelings for each other. We eventually discussed it. Cyan revealed to me that they were trans ( fem to masc, haven’t started physical transition yet ). As I am straight, this was a bit of dealbreaker for me. I am still very close with him, and I support him in everything. He is one of my best friends.

Near the end of the year, I met and hit it off with a different girl who I’ll call Lime. We got together far too quickly ( about three days of knowing each other ) and the relationship quickly fell apart over summer.

I took almost all of sophomore year off of dating because of this. Not wanting a repeat of the incident, when I became interested in someone, I took more time to know them. This saved me a good few shitty relationships. Around the time of prom, I met a girl I’ll call Maroon. Due to some mutual needs, we talked a bit, and after about a month of being friends got together.

I am currently dating Maroon, it has been my longest relationship so far.

The problem is, I don’t know if I’m happy in this relationship: nor if we are the right people for each other. We have incredibly conflicting schedules ( she’s an early bird, I’m a night owl. ) When we text, it’s dull and formulaic. Sometimes we go for a good while saying barley anything except for “ good morning “

The biggest issue, however, is that we do not share any of our problems with each other. She lives in a somewhat abusive household, and acts like events of physical abuse are “ just another silly moment “ in her house. I believe her parents read her texts, and due to our schedule conflict, I also find it hard to be open with her about problems. This is a noticeable problem for me, as I believe openness is an incredibly important part of relationships. Finally, she isint the biggest supporter. I write, and reading the stuff I write means a lot to me. It’s not some expectation of “ you have to like my stuff “ and all that shit, it’s moreso I wish she would read a chapter or two, or even ask about it ever. I try to bring it up, but she shows no interest in it.

I also think about Cyan a lot, but not him exactly. Moreso, I put the idea of the perfect person onto him. It hurts me a lot, and I feel like I’m betraying Maroon every time I have one of these thoughts. And I feel bad about holding down do that attraction towards Cyan. Sometimes I wish it would just go back to before I knew, and that some idealized version of a person would pop into my life.

It’s been eating away at me. I don’t want to be like Lime, and try to break it off for reasons that are probably fixable. That hurt me badly, and I only recently fully processed that. I was very petty toward her behind her back, an act which I regret and have tried in some ways to amend.

I’m sorry, I know that was a lot, and it’s incredibly jumbled. All I ask is, what do you think I should do here? I need a perspective from someone who doesn’t know me, and you are willing to listen ( which I greatly appreciate. )

If you see this, thank you

- A stranger with a conflicted heart

Hi!

First of all, thanks for the first paragraph, I'm happy people do like this and find it useful.

Now, with your problem. Every problem needs to be solved and I am glad you decided to ask me. I understand your situation a little bit because I have been in some similar problems. A very important thing to do in your situation is understand the different types of attraction. To make it shorter, I'll just put the two important ones for this story- platonic and romantic. With what I know it seems like you could be romantically attracted to both Maroon and Cyan. But remember, I'm not you, you are the only one that can decide how you difference and feel romantic and platonic attraction.

For the communication problem, I have a few ideas. As a person who grew up in an abusive household, it can be hard to realize the problem. It might not apply to Maroon, but until I was 14 I didn't realize getting hit by your parents and emotionally abused wasn't normal. And even now-a-days, I don't talk about it. Not with the people I know in person, at least. To me, it's like something I mustn't talk about. For some people who have been abused by their parents or other family members, it's hard to recognice the abuse. It can take years to understand that having your parents yelling at you that "You're just f*cking stupid and a useless waste of money" is abuse. Try to get more informated and be soft and understanding but don't take it personal if she refuses to talk. Honestly, my partner just knows I was hit but my parents but we never talk about it. Maybe, someday, Maroon decides to tell you. But you can also send her some text along the lines of- "I'm here for everything" and tell her what you think about openness being needed. If she knows, you might be able to communicate more.

After all, it's up to you. I hope this helped, and if you can and want to, send me some kind of update to know how it's going and what you did.

-Stranger

[astrangerthatcares]

hi, stranger.

i just heard the news about biden dropping out, and i know that that means project 2025 is going to happen.

im really scared of what will happen, because before i always thought that at least biden has a chance, but now that's gone and theres no escape from it. me and several of my friends will be personally affected by this, and we dont all have the best mental health to begin with, and im just really worried about them and me and everyone else and i dont know what to do right now.

Hey!

Project 2025 is just a lot of bullshit, but since this dickhead others call Trump is, indeed, a dickhead we have no big chance of winning.

I'm not going to tell you not to worry, we all know we should worry. I'm not going to tell you everything's okay, because it isn't. I'm going to tell you the truth, because there's no chance we survive while carrying mental problems if I lie to you.

I don't know how you'll be affected, but you have everything to lose. I mean, I don't think you work in politics and if Biden has dropped out we are going to be supremely fucked. Specially the ones living in the USA.

I could give you hope and pretty lies, but I'm telling you the truth, because 1- you deserve it. 2- the only way you can be helped is if you want to be helped, and that includes knowing why you need help.

We can't just kidnap Trump and put a blonde orange to control politics. Most of us can't get out of the USA. But we can put personal resistance. Remember, there is hope. Because if all of us refuse to accept that's how it is and we put our own little resistance, someday, we will be able to fight.

Trump wants to control the USA and he probably will if we don't resist. Some people think he came from heaven or something, he already controls those. But, how control the ones that don't adore him? Make them lose hope. If you don't have hope you either kill yourself (pls don't) or you just stop caring.

I know it's hard. I know most people just want to give up because we lost. And I know it looks like we lost. But we didn't. If somebody keeps resisting we haven't lost. And with "we", I mean all the people who are affected by the Project 2025 and the ones that aren't but dislike that bullshit.

We should really resist. In a more personal way or in a group of friends or whatever. We resist by never losing hope. It might seem impossible, but it isn't.

You deserve the truth. And the truth is we are fucked, and the only way we can resist is by keeping the hope. It might sound childish. It might be childish. But our show must go on. And Trum is an uninvited guest.

Keep hope! Love you,

Stranger.

[astrangerthatcares]

I will fight monsters for you

(inspired on the book "I will kill monsters for you" - writer: Santi Balmes)

Martina was eating dinner, when she remembered the times when she was a child and she was afraid of Anitram. Poor hairy thing. She now knew monsters were there to keep remembering us of the things ignorance can make. For not trying to get to know Anitram, Martina was afraid. But now Anitram wasn't there. She had faded away with the years. And now Martina was alone.

She finished eating dinner, and she stared at the moon through the window the same way she had done when she was young. Same moon, different people. Because Martina now knew to get over your fears you needed other people. Or monsters. Whatever, now it didn't matter. She was alone.

She went to her bedroom. She got in her bed, and she let her arm out. Touching the floor. As when Anitram was there. She realized she was lonely. Martina was alone since... She couldn't even remember since when.

And like that, day by day, Martina got grayer. She was sad, and she didn't know what to do. She was alone, and she feared she would always be.

Anitram was eating dinner, when she remembered the times when she was a child and she was afraid of Martina. Poor pale thing. She now knew humans were there to keep remembering us of the things ignorance can make. For not trying to get to know Martina, Anitram was afraid. But now Martina wasn't there. She had faded away with the years. And now Anitram was alone.

She finished eating dinner, and she stared at the moon through the window the same way she had done when she was young. Same moon, different people. Because Anitram now knew to get over your fears you needed other monsters. Or humans. Whatever, now it didn't matter. She was alone.

She went to her bedroom. She got in her bed, and she let her arm out. Touching the floor. As when Martina was there. She realized she was lonely. Anitram was alone since... She couldn't even remember since when.

And like that, day by day, Anitram got grayer. She was sad, and she didn't know what to do. She was alone, and she feared she would always be.

Martina and Anitram were the same, once again. And that night, it happened again. The floor between their worlds opened, letting their fingertips brush. And, so, they held their hands. Giving strength to eachother.

-Anitram.-Martina murmured.

-Yes?-said Anitram.

-I have monsters in my head.-confessed Martina.

-Monsters come and go. Humans, in my case-Anitram smiled, for the first time in months-, but here we say it this way. When you have monsters in your head, you are the only one who can truly fight them. But the ones who have also had monsters can help. Because they know what it is like. I would like to fight your monsters for you, Martina, but I have humans in my head.

-Then let me fight humans for you-said Martina softly-because if we share our monsters and humans, they will eventually kill eachother, won't they?

Anitram chuckled.

-I don't think it works like that, but we can try.

And, since that night, Martina told Anitram about her monsters and Anitram told Martina about her humans. They fought the others monsters.

Since we don't have monsters here, whose names are ours but backards and who live uspide-down, let me fight your monsters for you.

[astrangerthatcares]

Thanks for making this 💞💞💞

You're welcome, anon! I love you all, and you deserve this!

[astrangerthatcares]

Let's start!

Hi! I'm Stranger. This blog is to help people that have mental illneses when they are feeling down. Or maybe you don't have a mental illness and you are just feeling down! My askbox is always open to anybody that needs help.

10 reasons not to kill yourself

10 things you can do instead of self-harm

The most random and stupid but somehow cool links

A little reminder

A short story

I will keep adding things when I can.

Always remember,

a) You are needed

b) You are valid

c) I love you

[astrangerthatcares]

10 things you can do instead of self-harm

(For phisical self-harm)

1- Paint that area. If you were planing to make cuts on your leg, paint your leg. If you were scratching your arm, paint your arm.

2- Cut stuff. I used to cut little locks of my hair, but it looked horrendous, so I recommend cutting papers and/or soft plastic.

3- Scream. Scream at the top of your lungs, let it all out without harming yourself.

4- Cry. It is also good. Maybe you rather cry in a more silent way or you want to ugly sob until you don't have tears left. Either way, do it.

5- Make noises with the most random stuff you can find. Hit that nail polish against the table in a ritmic way. Move things to make noise.

6- Throw things (soft and that don't break). Against the walls, to the floor. It doesn't matter. Hurt an object, you can always replace it. Throw it and use the energy you were going to use to harm yourself.

7- Listen to the most weird music ever, a song you don't know and learn the lyrics. Try to feel the music and the feelings the lyrics is telling.

8- Sleep. Just rest, fall asleep and forget for as long as you can. It doesn't matter if it's 3 a.m. or 1 p.m. Sleep.

9- Paint long lines on a white paper. Try to make them as straight as possible. It might sound stupid, but it works and it's better than self-harm.

10- Get a paper or a soft toy. Hurt it the same way you wanted to hurt yourself. Cut the paper, scratch the toy or whatever. Hurt it not you.

Remember you can always send me an ask to tell me how you are feeling and why and I will try to answer as fast as possible. Take care of yourselves.

[astrangerthatcares]

10 reasons not to kill yourself

1- Do you have family/friends? If you do, what is going to happen with them when you aren't there anymore?

2- If you don't, think about all the chances you will lose to make friends, or if you want to, even create a family!

3- Are you watching any tv show? What if they make a new season? And if the show has ended, are you really going to lose all the crazy theories? Or the new shows?

4- All the useless drama that is going around the celebrity world. Imagine how much stupid and pointless drama you wouldn't see.

5- Ice cream. All the new flavours you haven't tried (unless you're lactose intolerant) and all the normal-flavoured ice-creams you won't eat.

6- Imagine proving anyone who doubted you wrong. Just proving that you can keep going a little while more. I will support you, just go forward.

7- You'll never see the world change for better. Or even help to making the world a better place. You really can't do stuff when you're dead.

8- All the things you haven't finished doing. Maybe it was reading a book, or decorating your room. You don't have anything to do? Now you do, live, please.

9- Your pets. What would happen to your pets. They wouldn't understand where you are and why.

10- I care and I will miss you.

Just keep going please. Even if every day you say- just another day. If you survive day by day, it's okay. If you have suicidal thoughts, it's okay. If you still need more reasons, you can text me or see @your-queer-dad 's 20 reason post. Whatever you do to keep breathing is okay, as long as you live. I love you, and I care about you, so stay alive. That's all I ask for.