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tangledstarlight · 4 years ago

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so um. didn’t do much at work today. wrote a thing. my entire thought process for this was ‘luke just. throws himself into any and every fight he sees that involves his friends huh?' and then i thought 'but what would happen if he couldn't fight for them??' and here we are.

it also stemmed from the fact that luke has big pre-serum steve rogers vibes?? if ya get me.

it’s a 5 +1 also. if that matters to anyone??

BUT ANYWAY!!!! this has a somewhat happy ending? if you squint? it was gonna be sadder, so idk. hmu if you want the sad ending i guess.

also on ao3

trigger warnings! blood mentions, implied/referenced child abuse, implied homophobia, character deaths (cos they’re yknow. ghosts)

one. Luke had spent so much of his time worrying about Reggie and Alex that he’d never stopped to consider the trouble that Bobby might get himself into.

And then he’s kneeling next to where Bobby is lying on the ground, his leg bent at an odd angle and there was a cut running down his cheek with blood dripping on tarmac. But he’s breathing. And that’s all Luke can find himself focusing on even as he hears the car that had hit him speeding away.

“Hey, hey Bobby. You’re okay man, you’re alright,” his voice is shaking but he doesn’t think Bobby notices, too busy trying realising the amount of pain he’s in. Luke can hear someone shouting behind them, thinks that someone called out about ringing 911, but he doesn’t take his attention away from his friend.

“My leg, Luke my– Fuck my leg hurts!” Bobby tries to sit up, his voice whining and letting out a his of pain as Luke gently keeps him lying in place. A vague memory from some long ago first aid class echoing in his mind about neck injuries and keeping the patient still.

“Yeah man, it’s uh,” his eyes dart down to Bobby’s leg, gulps and looks back up. He’s pretty sure his face must give him away. “It’s probably best you don’t look at it right now. Just, just look at me alright. Helps on the way.”

He can hear people talking around them, someone mentioning how far out the hospital is, another saying how disgusting it is for the driver to just run off without even stopping. Luke tries to tune them out. He can’t chase down a car, can’t find one driver in thousands and hurt them for hurting his friend. All he can do right now is try and distract Bobby from his broken leg and his pain.

“Don’t think I’ll be making it to rehearsals tonight.”

“Suppose we can let you off. This is a better excuse than Reggie’s one about the ducks that chased him,” Luke grins, he can hear sirens in the distance and lets out a shallow breath.

“My dad, I need to–” Bobby trails off and Luke isn’t sure if he’s lost in thought or just not sure what he needs to do. It’s not like either of them have been hit by a car before. They don’t know what they’re meant to do in a situation like this. Luke squeezes his hand, shrugs one of his shoulders.

“It’s alright. We’ll just take it one step at a time, don’t worry.”

There’s a beat of silence between them as they both seem to register what he said before Bobby is laughing and Luke is gaping in silent horror before feeling his own lips shaking with laughter too.

“Can’t believe you just made a comment about walking to a guy that’s just broken his leg. That’s low Patterson, even for you.”

two. Luke knew he had a reputation amongst his friends of being a little oblivious to certain things going on around him. He knew that he could sometimes get too caught up in his song writing, could miss obvious hints that people threw at him, could sometimes completely miss read a room. But he wasn’t stupid.

And he certainly wasn’t blind.

He had known Reggie since pre k. Had seen him at his best and his worst, had been there the day he showed up at school with the worlds worst hair cut, had helped him pick out his first bass from a cheap second hand music shop, had patted his back when Linsday Walters had dumped him during lunch when they were twelve.

Luke knew Reggie better then he knew just about anyone. So he knew when there was something wrong.

Not that it would have taken a genius to know there was something wrong when Luke was woken up at three am on a Thursday to someone knocking at his window. Reggie’s face peered in through the window, back lit by the streetlight across the road and making it incredibly evident that he had been crying, had Luke throwing his blankets off and out of bed quicker then he knew he could move. It took some awkward manoeuvring but eventually Reggie crawled in through the window and stood uncomfortably in the middle of Luke's room.

“Hey Reg…” Luke started, his eyes trailing up and down his friend quickly, trying to pinpoint what had brought him here so late. His eyes caught on the way the bassist held his left arm close to his chest, fingers shaking as he tried to ball his hand into a fist only to wince every time they moved. There were spots of blood on his shirt. Luke heard a roaring in his ears as he put together puzzle pieces of information he had always glanced over.

The Sullivan’s were well known in their friend group as the parents who fought the most. Reggie often made off hand comments and jokes about not getting much sleep, about stepping over broken glass, about falling down the stairs.

It had never once occurred to him that Reggie’s parents might ever hurt him.

“I– I didn’t know where else to go,” Reggie’s voice is quiet, small in a way Luke has never known him to be small. Reggie was always light and loud, the first to fill an awkward silence and to reach out in comfort. In all the years he has known the other boy, Luke doesn’t think he’s ever seen him so subdued.

“You know you can always come here man, windows always open.” It’s an attempt at a joke and all it gets is a half hearted tug of his lips. “Are you bleeding, Reg?” Luke hates having to ask it, hates having to broach a subject that he’s fairly confident Reggie doesn’t want broached, but he needs to know how hurt his friend is.

Reggie blinks down at his arm, still held close to his chest, as if he’d forgotten he was holding it there like that. That it was hurt at all. But now as he looks at his fingers twitching and fresh tears filling his eyes, Luke can see him, physically, mentally, spiritually, falling apart in front of his eyes.

“Woah, hey, hey, it’s okay man. Let’s, let's just get you out of your jacket, yeah? We can do this, one step at a time.”

Luke walks towards him slowly, worried that any sudden moves might set off some kind of flight or fight response in his best friend and the last thing he wants right now is to cause him more pain. Reggie watches him with watery eyes, dipping his head once when Luke reaches out to gently move his arm and slip the leather jacket off him.

There’s a red stained cloth wrapped around his forearm, another around his palm and it takes all Lukes resolve to stay exactly where he is and not jump out his window and run all the way to the Sullivans house and scream at them for being able to hurt someone they’re meant to love. It takes a few more minutes of careful moving and unwrapping, pausing every time Reggie so much as hissed in a breath, before the damage is laid bare for Luke to see.

“Can I ask what happened?” It's a quiet question, and if he doesn’t want to talk about it Luke will drop the subject, wait until he’s ready to talk. But the cuts don’t seem deep, don’t seem like they were purposefully inflicted in the way he had first worried.

“They were– they were shouting at each other. I,” Reggie pauses to breath in, breath out, shakes his head. “I tried to get them to stop. Dad he– he threw a glass at me, mom pushed him then they both pushed me on the ground when I tried to stop them. Guess I kind of deserved it, got in their way.” He says it without making eye contact and Luke can feel himself staring at him with his mouth partly open.

Because Reggie is one of the best people he knows. He’s kind and funny and talented and just has so much love to share with the world that it sometimes comes out too forcefully for people to understand. If Lukes ever had a bad day, he knows without a single doubt in his mind that Reggie will always find a way to cheer him up. He knows that if there’s anyone in the world who doesn’t deserve this, it’s Reggie.

“No, that’s...no. Just no. You don’t deserve any of this Reg,” Luke isn’t sure what to say, how to make him see that nothing about this is okay. Luke is good with words, he’s good at writing down his thoughts and feelings and putting them to a melody and a beat, it’s what he hopes will one day help him achieve his dreams. But right now, right now all he can see is his best friend from childhood crying on his bed and all his words have fled.

He doesn’t know how to fix this. It’s not a fight he can jump into, take a hit while the other runs to find help. Luke has spent half their friendship standing in front of bullies for Reggie but he feels helpless in front of this one. So he gives his friend a smile, squeezes his shoulder and stands up.

“I’m going to find the first aid kit, alright? And mom made some cookies yesterday, there should still be some left. I’ll be right back, okay?” He waits until Reggie gives him a nod, a small smile on his lips before he goes.

Luke can’t fight this fight for him, all he can do is find the first aid kit, clean his cuts, steal him some cookies, and let him know he’ll always be there no matter what.

three. Some fights Luke knew, had to be fought with words. Some couldn’t be won with a quick shove or a haphazard punch to the nose. Some fights, he knew, weren’t his to get involved in. No matter how much he might have wanted to punch Alex’s parents as he stood under the porch light at the front of their house, peering in through the side window at the fight raging inside.

When Alex had first asked him if he’d come with him tonight, if he’d wait outside ‘just in case it goes badly, or y’know even if it goes well’, Luke had said yes without even a hint of hesitation. There was nowhere else he’d be then right here, right now.

Alex coming out to his parents, it was a big deal. It was more than a big deal. It was a life changing moment, a life destroying moment, and Luke wished he could shield him from this hurt. But all he could do was stand outside and watch it all unfold. He’d promised not to get involved. To just be a silent bystander. He really wished he hadn’t made that promise.

The look of disgust and hatred on their faces is something he thinks he’ll remember forever. Even from this distance, a window and a room away, their faces are clear to see.

It’s the exact reaction he had feared would happen, what he knew Alex had always known deep down would happen despite a small part of him hoping for the complete opposite. Holding on to a fruitless hope that his parents would look past all their bigotry and still remember that they loved their son. That he was still the same person he had always been.

It's one the many things that make Alex so wonderful, Luke thinks, the way he holds onto even the smallest bit of light in the dark even when everything shows signs of a total black out approaching.

And his parents are snuffing that light out.

With each shouted word, each hurled insult and slur.

Luke can hear Alex crying, begging for them to listen to him through the ajar door. Can’t they hear his desperation? How can they stand there, hurting him more, while he’s crying right in front of them?

His hands curl into fists at his sides, this isn’t a fight he can take on for Alex, he knows this. But god, he wishes he could just push that door open, deck Mr Bennet in the face, take Alex out of the house and never look back. Luke stays where he’s stood. He’s here as support, as someone to pick up the pieces when they were done, not to start a fist fight. He’d promised.

“Get the hell out of my house! Get out! And don’t ever fucking come back here, you understand? Get out!”

There’s the sound of a scuffle, of Alex saying something that gets lost in the sounds of more insults and words that Luke wishes he didn’t know the meaning of. Then the door is being pushed open and Alex is standing in front of him, face red from crying and hands shaking as he struggles to breathe. Luke doesn’t even think Mrs Bennet notices him as she throws a coat and bag out the door before slamming it shut.

“They– I– oh god,” he can’t seem to get a sentence out, his breathing ragged and Luke knows the signs of an impending panic attack well enough now to know what’s happening. So he puts aside his own anger, pushes down his instincts to fight back, and puts his hands on Alex’s shoulders, bending his head to get the blonde to look at him.

“Hey, hey, look at me man. Just breath. In and out, in and out, like me.”

They stand like that for a few minutes, breathing in and out until Alex has some semblance of control over his own lungs again and gives Luke the smallest of nods of reassurance that he doesn’t believe for a second. But he lets go of his shoulders, bends down to pick up the coat and bag, slinging a strap over his shoulder and offering the coat out to Alex. It’s still early spring and it’s bound to get cold.

“They–,” Alex has to take another moment, eyes darting between the closed door and the items in Luke's hands, “Th– they kicked me out.” His voice breaks on the word.

“I know.” Because there’s nothing else he can offer Alex right now other than his understanding.

He can’t take on this fight for him, can’t absorb the blows or the hurtful words, can’t go inside the house and force his parents to take back all the hurt they have caused in such a short amount of time. All Luke can do is reach out to take Alex’s hand and gently pull him down the road, away from the only place he had ever called home and give him somewhere to feel safe. Somewhere he can fall apart and put himself back together again.

“Come on, let's go back to mine,” he gives Alex’s hand a gentle squeeze and walks at the pace he’s set. It’s slow, hesitante, almost like he’s walking in a daze and is just letting himself be pulled along, muttered things under his breath.

“What am I going to do? God they’re right.”

Luke tilts his head to look into the drummer's face, frowns at the distant look he finds in the other boy's eyes even as his lips move, words he probably doesn’t even realise he’s saying out loud spilling from his lips. So he pulls them to a stop and stands in front of the blonde, grabbing hold of his other hand until he’s gripping them both.

“Hey Alex, Alex look at me man. Look at him,” Luke waits until he’s got Alex’s eyes on him, until he can see the drying tear tracks on his cheeks and can watch as he tries to keep a fresh wave from falling. “We take this one step at a time, okay? We get through tonight, and then we take on tomorrow.”

Something in his words seems to catch his attention and Alex takes in a ragged breath, eyebrows furrowing.

“We?”

“Yeah man. You’re stuck with me forever. You, me and Reggie did that whole blood oath with tomato juice thing like five years ago, remember? I’m not ever going anywhere,” Luke frees one of his hands and pushes Alex’s shoulder, grateful when he gets a huffed laugh and roll of his eyes in return.

They walk the rest of the way back to his house in silence, but Alex seems just a little more settled in himself then he had half an hour before and Luke takes that for a win.

four. Whenever Luke had thought about dying – and he hadn’t really given it much thought, he was seventeen, he was supposed to have more time – he’d always assumed it would be when he was old and in his bed.

Or maybe in some tragic accident like other rock stars before him.

He had never stopped to consider it would be a fucking hotdog.

The pain had started suddenly and forcefully, making sure it was the only thing he could think about. Like it had wanted to be the star of the show and would do so in any way possible. Luke can’t remember what it felt like to not be in pain.

Alex lets out a guttural moan of pain next to him that draws Lukes attention, stretching out his arm until his hand brushes the fabric of Alex’s pink hoodie, twisting his fingers into it so he knows that he’s there. That he’s not alone.

Reggie is quieter, even as he vomits – and Luke is trying to ignore the blood he can see, trying to not think about what that means – his chest heaving even as a paramedic rushes towards them. Luke catches Reggie’s eyes, tries to make his mouth move, to form words, to let him know something, anything.

But Luke doesn’t know what he would say even if he could. He doesn’t know how to save them from this. Doesn’t know if he can.

Luke had never thought about what happens after you die, but ending up in a dark room with Alex crying and Reggie sitting scarily still, it wouldn’t have been high on his list of possibilities. As he walked around the room, left hand on the wall so he could follow it around and around, Luke wondered if he could have fought harder to live. And then he sees Alex’s eyes going dim, sees Reggie’s chest stop moving, and remembers feeling his heart break. He doesn’t think this is a fight he ever had a chance at winning.

Whenever he’d thought about life and death and what came next, he always put it off. He just always figured he’d get the time, later in life, to think about it all. He’d been trying to take his life one step at a time and he’d accidentally leapt to the end goal by mistake without getting any of the fun in between.

They were seventeen and death wasn’t supposed to be something they gave much thought too and now they had all eternity to think about it. At least they’d have each other he guesses.

five. Twenty six years after dying Luke finds himself once again thinking about it.

Death.

Dying.

He doesn’t really think it’s something you can fight, if the Grim Reaper comes calling he’s going to leave with a soul. But Luke would personally fight the Death themselves if it meant he’d never have to see Julie cry the way she is right now. Soft and heartbroken and never ending.

But he can’t fight death. All he can do is sit next to her on the couch in the garage, one arm wrapped around her shoulders and the other holding her hand – because they’re tangible more and more often now, and on any other day he would be smiling like an idiot at getting to hold her like this. But it’s not any other day. It’s today and he’s just grateful he can touch here at all. – as she cries silently on his shoulder.

Alex has settled himself on the other side of Julie, tucking her legs under his longer ones almost like a blanket to keep her safe. Reggie has pulled a bean bag over in front of the couch and has his head resting between Julie's knees and Lukes. Each a solid presence around her.

Some days he can almost forget that the reason they are here at all is because Julie lost one of the most important people in her life. And that it was in grief and avoidance of memories and the need for a fresh start that she put on a cd and they had poofed back into the world.

He finds himself wishing he knew more about her.

The woman who had kept their EP, their shirt that couldn’t hold up in water, who had remembered them even when the world had forgotten.

“Tell us about your mom, Jules,” Luke whispers, not wanting to disturb the quiet bubble they have created but being unable to stop himself either. Julie’s crying stilts, her breathing stuttering as if she’s trying to comprehend what he’s asked. She knows she can always say no, that she can just not respond if she doesn’t want to. But Luke knows that this is the sort of pain you can’t fight, but you can ease it. He’s pretty sure Julie knows that too.

After a few minutes when Julie doesn’t say anything Luke accepts that she’s maybe not ready to talk yet and that would be okay too, they can just sit in silence.

But then slowly, hesitantly, Julie starts talking.

Starts telling them about her mom who had taught her to play the piano by sitting her on her knee. Who had chased her around the beach and made her laugh until her side hurt when they’d buried ray in the sand while he napped. Who had stayed up all night sewing tassels and strands of fabric together because Carlos just had to be Cousin Itt for Halloween.

She tells them about the times they had curled up watching her favourite films, the way they had shouted the lyrics to their favourite songs loudly in the car, their disastrous first attempt at making a rainbow cake.

She’s still crying, still keeps her fingers linked between Lukes, still lets her other hand alternate between Reggie's hair and tapping on Alex’s knee. But there’s a light in her eyes that hadn’t been there that morning, she’s laughing through her tears a little bit more with each story.

“I miss her,” she says eventually, letting out a shaking breath.

“I know,” Luke says, because it’s not really the same but he knows what it’s like to miss someone.

“But it’ll hurt just a little bit less each day,” Reggie chimes in, because it’s not really the same but he knows what it’s like to miss someone even when it hurts to think of them.

“And y’know, she’s always with you because you’ve got all these stories to share,” Alex tilts his head at her with a smile, because it’s not really the same but he knows that holding on to the good memories is sometimes all you have.

“Thanks guys,” she gives them a watery smile. “I don’t know what I’d do with you all.”

Luke doesn’t like to dwell too long on that thought, on a world where they pass over and leave her alone. Because it’s an all too real possibility so he pushes the thought back and nudges her shoulder and smiles.

“Nah, you’d be fine. You’d just take it one step at a time, you don’t have to go fast, you just gotta get through it.”

He doesn’t think he’s said anything too weird but Julie is looking at him with wide eyes and a silent ‘o’ on her lips. Luke frowns at her wondering what he’s done wrong now.

“Don’t look at him like that, it’s his go to advice for any problem. Just take it one day at a time,” Reggie laughs, imitating Luke’s voice as he says it and nudging his leg as he wiggles his eyebrows which causes Alex to laugh and draws Julie in too.

And Luke doesn’t mind that they’re kind of laughing at him, he’s just glad Julie is smiling. He’s not sure he’d win a fight with Death, but he’d give it a go if she asked.

+one. When Caleb pops back into their lives it happens so suddenly that Luke doesn’t even have a chance to second guess what he’s doing. All he knows is that Caleb is threatening the people he cares most about in the world, that there’s one option in front of him which only gets him hurt and Luke really hates bullies.

He doesn’t think about the pain that the jolts cause or that there’s a very good chance he’ll never see his family again or that playing music without Alex and Reggie and Julie just isn’t worth it.

He doesn’t think about that.

He thinks being seven and meeting Reggie, about meeting Alex, about meeting Bobby.

He thinks about all the bullies he was never big enough to protect them from, quick enough to run away from.

He thinks about when they were fifteen and Bobby got his by a car, broke his leg and got a concussion and how Luke just wasn’t quick enough to push him out of the way.

He thinks about being sixteen and Reggie knocking on his window covered in cuts and bruises and how Luke wasn’t able to protect him from the people who were meant to protect him.

He thinks about being seventeen and calming Alex’s breathing as his parents' shouts still echo around their heads and how Luke couldn’t make it any better because he didn’t have the power to change minds.

He thinks about being seventeen and suggesting they get street dogs and dying, about not being able to save them.

He thinks about being seventeen and stuck in a dark room for twenty five years and how Alex cried and Reggie looked lost and how Julie had to lose her mom to find them.

He thinks about Julie, crying between them all as she misses her mom and how much it would hurt her to lose them all.

“Luke, please. Don’t.”

Julie holding his hand, trying to pull him away. He can feel Reggie gripping tight to his other hand, standing half behind him with Alex who’s twisted his fingers into the material of his shirt. Standing behind him, just where they had always joked they’d be in a fight.

But Luke was never joking about it. Taking the hits so they don’t have to? It’s the easiest choice he’s ever made. It’s the one he’ll always make.

“I don’t want any of you to get hurt.”

Luke doesn’t realise he’s crying until his vision starts to blur a little, the image of Caleb in front of them going fuzzy.

“We take it one step at a time, Luke,” Reggie squeezes his hand tighter, tugging him back half a step.

“And we do it together, remember? A blood oath with tomato juice, Luke. We’re stuck together,” the hand Alex had had gripping his shirt loosens just enough to to circle around his bicep and he manages to tug him back another step.

“We can’t get through this if we don’t have you Luke. You don’t need to make the sacrifice play. There’s always another way,” Julie’s crying too, he notices belatedly as her tears drip on to the hand she is holding, his knuckles pressing against her lips.

“Come on man. Let’s go home.”

Luke holds steady for a second longer, eyes focused on Caleb's face before he gives in, letting the three of them pull him back from a line he can’t uncross.

But he’d do it.

He’d do it in one of his non-existent heart beats if it meant they’d be safe. He’s always jumped into a fight without a second thought. And for Reggie and Alex and Julie? He’d do it in even less. If they’d let him.

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #trevor wilson #jatp #should i tag this with something else??? idk man enjoy i guess #rosie vs writing #*#Alex Mercer #Reggie Peters #*fics

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blackvelvetwriteson · 4 years ago

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𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄

( ~ Shinsou Hitoshi x Gender Neutral Reader Insert ~ )

GENRE: Fluffy Angst!

FANDOM: Boku No Hero Academia (My Hero Academia)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: This one is full of HELLA violence and angst. Talks of blood, suicide (briefly), etc is portrayed in this fic, even suggested drug abuse. There’s also curse words here. Shinso and Reader are aged up to 18. Class 1A and General Studies are mentioned a lot but they’re all 3rd years in this fic, I’m just going by Shinso and Reader only knowing the Class 1A kids strictly BECAUSE they were in the hero course. I’m gonna start clarifying that because, even though these students are generally in my age group, I still don’t want the image of these teenagers going through sexual encounters or heavy stuff like this being broadcasted. At least not from MY platform, whatever platform it may be.

SUMMARY: After a big villain/ hero battle, you and Shinso were the only heroes on the scene forced to flee, the villains having surrendered. You were teetering in and out of consciousness. The villains that were antagonizing you got into your head and you’d pushed those thoughts off to the side until they came back one night a week and a half later...

WORD COUNT: 4498

(Headers are mine, but the art inside of them are not! Please don’t steal or repost without credit!)

“HITOSHI!” You screamed out his name as you were becoming surrounded more and more, the villains sneering at you as more came from around the way, your quirk not strong enough to keep them at bay. Not by yourself at least. You took a side glance and noticed that your partner was having troubles too, knowing that he’d be having issues as well as his quirk was even more ineffective in this situation than yours. You were staring at him, watching him get beat up, but as you were about to move you were greeted by a swift kick to the stomach. Grimacing, you shuddered and shakily tried to move towards your boyfriend, feeling your hair getting tugged roughly, yanking you back into place as blood dared to trace your bottom lip. You looked over with glassy eyes as one of the villains came forth from a thick mob of their cohorts.

“Mmm… Pitiful, weak hero. Calling for someone who isn’t willing to answer. You know…. Hero society is so damn corrupt…” The menace that’d been tugging your hair twisted their hand, wrapping your locks around his fingers causing you to cry out. You tried to reach behind you and you finally let the tears that were in your eyes fall. “L-Let me g-“ you were interrupted by a cold clock jab in your already bruised face, knocking you out.

Just then you jolted awake, gasping for air that didn’t want to come down, trembling, your face already soaked with tears, meanwhile outside there was a harsh storm brewing up, the wind whipping through the tree’s leaves and branches. You shrieked quietly as you heard something outside break and you whimpered softly, looking down and seeing that your love, Shinso Hitoshi, wasn’t next to you anymore. Where could he have gone at this hour? Especially in this storm? It was 3:30 in the AM, and you shook your head trying to comfort yourself.

“I-It’s just a nightmare…” You felt your clammy sweat sheening your forehead, only illuminated by the occasional lightning that cut across the sky.

“For fucks sake…” You tangle your fingers in your hair and crush your head between your knees, screeching as a loud thunder clap knocked on the roof of the house, everything shaking and photos even falling off of the wall. You feel your chest get tight, your palms moist with sweat from having your hands balled up, more tears non consensually running down your face, searing into your skin as your flashback prevailed.

“What a worthless weakling like you. A hero that can’t save anyone much less yourself… Hah.. Funny. ‘Hero’ scum…” The villain smirked as they leaned in closer and examined your face. “And stupid too.. Why are the two of you fighting for a system that hates you?” They scoff as they cross their arms, dragging the tip of their knife over the underside of their chin. “You, me, and that purple haired fellow… We’re not so different y’know.”

“I-I’ll NEVER be like you! You have n-no p-power over me!”

The villain smirked once more and clicked their tongue. “Hmm…. Are you sure about that? Any of it?”

Damnit. They’d noticed and picked up on the uncertainty in your voice and now they’re using it against you, maybe. The heroes love you, right? They supported you… Right? The heroes are… Fair for everyone… R..Right?

You slap your head trying to bring yourself back to reality and then the villain’s words had branded their spot into your brain rent free, your breathing shaky, your lips trembling, your eyes darting around the room.

“I’m just like you… My quirk so… Useless that it might as well be like I don’t have one in the first place. Huh… I’m just somebody that the heroes cast aside because I couldn’t be of use. I used to be in the hero course too, yknow. What they don’t tell you is, ‘if you don’t have use; not conventionally attractive, no flashy quirk, and not a money maker, then nobody loves you, and they’ll throw ya out’.. Just like they did to me. Like that damn All Might. And he’s supposed to be a teacher for you guys- what a joke. I mean look at me! My tooth is all chipped… My hair is super short… My hands and face tainted with scars… You’re one of the pretty ones… And he’s not half bad looking either… Though he could do with more sleep. While I’m at it, you could to..” The villain stroked over your cheek and you flinch, finally letting tears fall, your nose burning as you held back and tried to hold out for back up that’d never come to your aid. “Shinso over there deserves a spot in the hero course- More than about three of those damn pesky hero wannabes- and that’s just off the top of my head,” The villain continued to press on. “… So tell me why exactly you’re both in general studies or whatever?”

As much as you didn’t want to believe it, it was the truth. Did it irk you so much because those words that you heard your late parents utter come from a villain’s lips? Why did you feel so much about it? Why did you feel so much for the villain? Why the FUCK should you care?… But also, what’s with the hesitation? They’re the enemy! They tried to kill you at the end of the day…. And you know that they damn well easily could… But they didn’t.

You threw the covers off of you and you shook your head quickly.

“NO! No no no no!!!! Get out of my head!” You hit your head against the mattress, your body aching and coated in lazily wrapped up bruises, cuts, scars and slashes that’d scabbed over and opened back up, the blood searing your skin-or so it felt like- as it slid down from your injury. You suddenly remembered where Shinso went- out to get a medicinal refill. One for your pain and another for these harsh flashbacks. You tried to relax, sliding out of the bed, the thunder rumbling making you way more jumpy than usual. You made it to the bathroom and locked yourself inside, pressing your back against the wall, sliding down until you were sitting on the ground, hugging your knees, crying in the darkness, your eyes narrowed out in rage as you relived the scene, the villain now jeering at you as you squirm helplessly within their henchman’s grasp.

“O-Of course I’m sure…” But were you really? You winced as you felt the villain closing in, smirking, his lips practically touching your ear, his hands on your hips… Protectively? You try and kick away and you’re roughly pushed against a broken building on fire. They smirk as you squeak, trying your hardest to push them off of you but you can’t muster up the strength from your broken body and you end up a mass of tears. How the fuck did you even manage to escape the henchmen and fight them off long enough? You might as well have stayed held up… You cornered yourself. Freedom short lived but also at the hand of Shinso’s safety.

“If only I was smarter… He would be able to fight off longer…”

“Aw, honey. What are you so scared of,” they teased and taunted, wiping your tears gently. You tried to think… What WERE you afraid of? You assumed already that becoming a hero wouldn’t be an easy or particularly safe job, you knew what you wanted- to save people. Were you scared that suddenly you were powerless against a pretty powerless villain? Or that none of the bigger heroes had came to your aide? Or… Maybe it was what the villain said was true and you didn’t want to accept it. Maybe it was because you didn’t have much power, and because of that, the death toll of surrounding civilians continued to climb higher. Maybe it was the fact that finally you might be dying. Maybe you were scared for Shinso? But… He was still fighting. Why couldn’t you? Your face overcame a weak shade of red as you heard the villain snicker in your ear, their breath tickling at your ear lobe. You flinch and try and push away, a sharp shard of debris from the broken building plunging into your skin and muscles, narrowly missing your spine. You wince and yell out loudly, wondering how long you could keep going, your knees weak, hero costume torn and tattered, your knees giving out as you lean against the enemy for support wondering when your fucking support was gonna come. It’d been HOURS and you and Shinso have been holding your own both of you wishing you could’ve ended the fighting sooner, but physically unable to.

“I guess… In the end, they were right. I DO indeed make a much better villain… These people.. They give me everything I could have ever asked for… A home. Acceptance.. But you fucking assholes… You’re trying to take that from me! WE DON’T NEED MONEY OR ANYTHING FLASHY TO SUCCEED! I’m sick of the world only saving certain people. That’s why we do what we do… SO the world can save everyone… But you motherfuckers don’t see it.. You’re trying to destroy it… And guess what? I have backup and you don’t. OUR family is more loyal than yours… You know they can all see you right? You’re the face of everyone’s screens… You’re on the heroes’s radar. But they don’t give a DAMN. You’re. Not. Them. Now.. Enough of that. I asked you a question. Be a good little hero and answer it or I’ll just have to kill you,” they shrugged, unsheathing a beautiful blade with vines engraved so neatly, the shine reflecting orange and yellow on your skin. They started dragging the tip up your arms. “Was it what I said? Are you realizing that it’s the truth,” they hissed in your ear.

“Mmm.. Cmon… Speak up. I can’t hear you.. But before you lie to me… Look around. Where’s that beloved All Might of yours? Where’s Endeavor? Or Ecto, or Orca? Eraserhead? Your own teacher?! Nowhere. Just you and Shinso. How the hell are you two supposed to defend against all of us? They sent you out to die. They know where you both are but they aren’t here. Huh. And yet-“

“SHUT UP,” you cried out, wiggling against your restraints trying to push those thoughts to the side. “Fuck fuck fuck… Please… Please shut up!” They ran their fingers through your hair, leering over you as they admired the beautiful tears that fell from your face at first from being scared and then next from realization. “Oh sweetheart~ You say I have no power over you, just you wait,” they winked and they backed away dropping their weapon and ogling you. “I’ll just help you out. We ALL surrender,” he retreated, yawning, the spotlights falling over you and a beat up Hitoshi, panting and bleeding though you were more broken, the villains surrounding the both of you receding into one clump. Your knees gave out and you dropped to the ground having no crutch, the villain antagonizing you having fell back. You were falling unconscious practically, your eyes fluttering and unresponsive.

“(Y/N!)” You heard Shinso’s smooth voice barely before you tried to answer with a small grunt. You felt new warmth taking over as he dropped next to you, brushing your tattered hair out of your face, his eyes wide with rage and worry. “(Y/N), answer me,” he said softly, cradling your head against his chest.

“Y-Yeah..” You managed a small response, your mind instantly becoming foggy and your body warm as he activated his quirk, his voice chiming quietly in your head.

“Just stay with me, baby. We’ll get you to the doctors… Rest…” And that’s all you heard before you’d slipped, your body tingling from the blood loss.

You were ripped from this flashback and you were cradling yourself, trembling on the cold tiled floor of your bathroom waiting for Shinso to come back, knowing that you couldn’t take much more of this.

“They were right,” you whispered quietly. You went to talk to All Might about what happened, asking to seek counseling and help because of these severe PTSD episodes and he simply brushed you off with, “All heroes are expected to perform at top! Meds and further counseling could be damaging to your performance,” and Endeavor pretty much told you to get over it. You remembered how all of the villains had back up and they even seemed to have your back too. They knew that they could all kill you AND Shinso in the same breath but instead they surrendered and opened your eyes. You didn’t want to believe it… Did you really belong in the hero course? Were they just saying that to get in your head? You didn’t know what was going on anymore.

“Why are those fucking hero course kids treated like fine china?? Why do they get special counseling, training, and shit and we’re stuck here?! Why?! WHY! I’m trying to work my ass off even more than they do because they have flashy quirks!” You slowly stopped crying, sitting up on your knees absolutely enraged as you stared at the floor.

“They had loads of support… Where was everyone when we needed them…? Did they really send us out to die?” You rubbed your arm as you tried not to slip into your previous mind state, waiting patiently. There was a gentle knock on the door, causing you to jump and shriek.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?” It was just Shinso… The very person you’d wished to see. But why did suddenly it feel all wrong? You heard a small paper bag rustling on the other side and you sighed softly, draping your hand over your forehead, slowly unlocking the door, your knuckles broken and bloodied from pounding at the floor. Shinso’s eyes widened. He knew that your episodes were bad but you never went so far as to do this. It was mostly just crying and trembling. The answer was obvious but the both of you didn’t really care for the honest truth. You’d broke… You lost faith and hope. Your hard work, busting your ass trying to catch up to the hero course kids— Even MINETA! He’s a fucking perv that wears a bowl as his hero costume!

“(Y/N)… What happened..?” He asked with caution, probably already knowing what’d gone down in his absence. Your eyes teared up as you saw his expression, his eyes swirling with intense dejection and brood. Suddenly you felt that you were in the way. In the way of his happiness and your fellow students. But… How could you just stand by and watch as your friends try and fail to reach the impossible status of the Hero Course kids. You didn’t hate Class 1A for this, it’s not their fault after all. It’s always been like this even before they knew how to say UA High. You were deflated instantly, but still you were determined to find answers but too weak to accept the truth if it came from a villain’s lips. Shinso noticed the lax that seized your posture and he sat on the ground beside you as you refused to answer his question. You zoned out.. AGAIN, your eyes now fixated on that white paper bag that sat beside your boyfriend’s foot.

“(Y/N)?” He snapped in front of your eyes a couple of times and you jumped, snatched back to reality, his messy purple hair sunk in front of his eyes, his eyes looking even more tired than usual. You couldn’t help but to think it was because of you. Then, he saw that you were back with him and not the monsters of your mind, his sleepy smile replacing the look of worry that was on his face when he came back to see you broken on the ground.

“H-Huh? O-Oh! S-Sor-“ And just like that, you were under his spell. He’d asked a question and you responded. His eyes were a little more hopeful and you gave in immediately to him as he gently commanded you around.

“Come here and cuddle me,” he said softly, his words the only thing present in your head. With each command he gave, your body had a surge of warmth flowing through your veins causing you to shiver. This was the most relaxed you’d felt since… Since you got accepted to UA. You scooted a little, sitting up and straddling his lap, your legs wrapped around his waist and your head rested on his chest. He smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist, picking both you and the bag up off of the floor and walking back to your room.

You snuggled into his chest, your mind still fuzzy as he sat down at the foot of the bed, hugging you tighter, the bag now rested at the side of you.

“Relax, baby,” he whispered in that soothing tone in your ear and suddenly, your body’s tension melted away and you leaned into him more. “Good kitty,” he chuckled softly as he started to rub your back. “Now.. Tell me what happened.”

Before you knew it, you were spilling your guts starting with details of the fight to the breakdown you were going through and he grunted softly with a small nod, his jawline tensing up. “Hitoshi,” you whispered softly against his chest. “When will it get better?… When will I stop looking at pill bottles with malicious intent… When can we finally be good enough for everyone. I mean fuck.. We’re third years now and the kids that were in class 1A are still held on the highest possible pedestal,” you whimper as the pain of your injuries become more apparent, your brain coming down from the numbing high he put you under. “…When will I stop getting in the way of you,” you added quietly, shifting a little and wincing, holding back more tears as you bury your face in his chest. Why’d you let it slip? He stroked over your hair and he continued to lull you into relaxation with his words.

“Hey… Listen to me, (y/n),” he started, his hand on your hip the other ducking under your chin, his eyes locking onto yours as he guided your head up. “You’re NEVER in the way of me, okay? I understand… You think your hard work was all for nothing… Hero society is kind of.. Fucked up in that way, but listen to me. Okay? Are you listening?” His jawline tensed as he stared at you and you nodded slowly, brushing his sleek purple bangs out of his face.

“You’re everything to me… I know you’re thinking of ditching this UA bullshit.. Hell I was whenever everyone told me how great of a villain I’d make because of my stupid quirk,” he said lowly, his voice a little wavery as he began to well up himself.

“But…. Why can’t we become heroes that save everyone? We could.. I dunno make a smaller group.. For people with smaller quirks when we become pros. It’s not a matter of if.. And we don’t have to be super popular. I mean, think about it… Eraser isn’t too popular… But everyone knows his name and knows him as an underground hero.. And he’s got a quirk just like us. If he could do it then we definitely can… Just stick it out with me a little longer, baby. I promise you that things’ll get better.” He caressed your cheek gently and you let his words replace the villain’s. You pushed your head into his hands and you looked away from his eyes and down at his chest.

“They surrendered for us… Toshi.. They were more of a family… They were together… And once ONE said to back off they all did… H-He said that the heroes could see us.. We were on the radar and we were ignored… How am I supposed to take that? I just.. I want a place where I can finally feel fucking normal.. Safe… Protected… He said it in the best and worst way.. We’re not the money makers here… So big name heroes don’t help… We exist too…”

Shinso nodded and a small smile crossed his lips as he shed his jacket and wrapped it around you, the harsh punches of hard rain hitting your window finally subsiding a little.

“Baby. So what if they saw us? They didn’t help and that’s on them. WE’RE known now though… If they are doing it for the money… Well then they’re not real heroes. We’re becoming heroes to save people.. Not… Money. Not fame. We’re gonna be the ones that save everyone and not just certain people… And maybe- just maybe.. We can coax those villains that we were fighting against out of villainy and maybe they’ll join us… Who knows?”

You smile at his hopefulness and you sit up again, pressing your lips against his and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He returned the kiss, both arms around your waist, a soft breath escaping him as he pushed into the kiss more. After a long, lingering moment, your drowsiness is more apparent and you pull away slowly, your lips still barely touching his, his forehead rested against yours. He opened his beautiful, exhausted indigo eyes and he stared into yours and you both sit there smiling at each other.

“I love you, Hitoshi,” you whisper quietly as you start to play in his hair.

“I love you too, Kitty,” he smiled more and held up the bag. “Let’s get you something to eat so you can take these okay? I think… Maybe a counseling session is in order? Since… We’re not hero course kids… We’ll have to pay for it ourselves, but it’ll be worth it! I promise,” he smiled at you as you take one of the bottles out of the bag. Once again, his pep talks calmed you down but this one inspired you. The incident was now seen in a new light… YOU weren’t the victim.. And you were gonna see to it personally that nobody else ever went through what both you and the villain did. You were going to make it, the villain’s and Shinso’s words to be the driver of your success.

“Hey Toshi?” You asked quietly as he set you on the bed and made his way into the kitchen. You followed him and leaned in the doorway, playing with one of the smooth pills in your hands as you looked at him

“Yes baby?” He rose an eyebrow as he sifted through the cabinets.

“…We’re all in the same school… We’re all students trying to be heroes.. So why are the rest of us treated like shit?” He made his way over to you, kissing your forehead, a pack of fruit snacks, a small container of cookies, a bag of chips, and a bottle of water in hand.

“You know.. That’s a good question… Maybe you should ask that when we’re top pros. I’ll be right by your side… Every single step of the way. I promise.” Your face burned with a bright blush and you grabbed Shinso’s hand, something slick and drenched rubbing against your legs. You jump and squeal quietly.

“AH! WHAT THE FU- Oh! Snowball? Why were you outside during the storm??” You picked up your fluffy cat and Shinso smiled, holding your waist from behind, kissing the cat in the middle of his ears. He’d begged you to get a cat for so long and you finally got one, against the advice of the teachers. You guys were adults now. You were gonna act like it at least.

“Hey… I have to take a shower… I’m all bloody and stuff.” He dragged you into the room, picking you up and tossing you on the bed along with the snacks. “Toshiii!!” He hopped on the bed next to you and climbed over you, kissing you gently everywhere but your lips, even attacking your neck a little.

“Kittyyyy,” he mocked you and rolled his eyes playfully. Snowball made his way in between the two of you and he took his place on your chest purring loudly. “I think Snowball wants you to stay. And I do too.”

“But-“

“Shhhhhh…. Just stay a little while, okay? Then I’ll let you go take a shower.” You smile a little at his words and he lays down on both you and Snowball. Snowball purrs louder and stares at your boyfriend, his arms draped over you and his eyes closed as you play with his hair, his head rested next to Snowball’s on your chest. He hummed quietly as you take the pill, your fingers massaging at his scalp. He and snowball both fall asleep on you and you just stare at them, playing soft music from your phone. Despite Shinso’s talk, you were still afraid to sleep, however.. You didn’t mind staying awake, staring down at your beautiful boyfriend with his jawline so sharp it could fucking chop cheese, his messy purple hair still sprawled out though it rested more in his face than it did a few years ago. The pain of your injuries began to subside. Your mind was clear. You look at the purring cat and he looks at you through his squinted eyes before he falls asleep.

Just his luck that the last thing he saw before he went to sleep today was that beautiful smiling face of yours.

#mha fluff #mha imagine #mha imagines #bnha shinso hitoshi #shinso x reader #shinso x you #bnha angst #mha aged up #please hype this up #please hydrate #Shinso fanfic #Shinso is the real mvp #shinsou x you #shinsou x y/n #gender neutral character #gender neutral fic

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