#he also stopped being friends w husband after he *didnt* dump me for being disabled.

[yourheartinyourmouth]

husband told me that one of his friends told him to leave me……..because i have a hard time holding down abusive jobs that fucking blow and wildly exasperate my mental health and ADHD issues. and like. it just makes me laugh. you’re serious, bro? just dump her, bro. just break up an otherwise happy family, destroy an otherwise healthy marriage, because one of the people involved is severely mentally ill and neurodivergent and has trouble staying employed because of it???? (FYI: 75-80% of people with ADHD are unemployed or underemployed. 75% of people with ADHD have suicidal ideation or have attempted suicide)

THIS is what we mean when we say that people hate us for having ADHD. THIS is what we mean when we say that neurotypicals hate us just for existing. THIS is what we mean when we say that people hate us for who we are and the things we legitimately cannot help. So a spouse unable or struggling to work suddenly becomes “just get divorced then”.

if i had a PHYSICAL disability, would he have said that? if i could point to a part of my body that wasn’t my brain and said “i have trouble working because my body doesn’t work”, most people would be like “OH, well that’s different, you’re disabled.” if i was physically disabled and this friend said “oh, they can’t walk? divorce them for it”, my husband would have punched him in his ableist-ass face and spat on him.

but because all my dysfunction and disability is in my brain, since it’s all behavioral, and since it’s not severe enough to involve forced hospitalizations and cops, people just say “oh, they’re just a lazy piece of shit. dump her.”