#he also sheds even more than usual which pisses wayne off

[bewilderedbunny]

You rbed a post about monster boyfriends bringing home deer or something for you to eat and added tags about monster Eddie with a vegetarian gf and it just made me think, imagine werewolf!eddie coming home empty handed from hunting down food, his mouth stained and dripping red, but it’s berry juice from his attempt at foraging, and he accidentally ate the whole bunch he had gathered after tasting one to “make sure it was safe” bc it was so good. He feels sad and sheepish about coming home empty handed and you have to sooth him and bit and let him know it’s okay, there’s always next time.

PLEASE oh my god. The berry juice!!! He'd get a tummy ache from eating so many berries and beg you to rub it better 🥺 poor baby!

I also feel like now is a good time to mention, @breddiemunson and I have a HC that werewolf!Eddie carries around a piece of chocolate as a last resort, like a cyanide pill (since dogs can't eat chocolate) then one day he absentmindedly eats the chocolate and freaks out. He has everyone gather around his death bed and listen to him say his goodbyes. but he ends up fine 💀 he's just dramatic and werewolves stomachs are totally different than dogs.

[youngdreamer3214]

Parting Words

Disclaimer- I don't own the Teen titans or anything related.

Jason Todd is Red X.

The titans are in their mid- twenties. Raven and Jason are living together in Gotham after the titans were taken over by younger heroes; but they still go on missions assigned to them by the league.

Strong winds blew as dark clouds adorned the sky. Thunder raked through the skies and the clouds were desperate to shed the water they had been holding. A storm was brewing.

But it was nothing compared the storm of emotions which trapped Raven and Jason which was ready to swallow them whole.

"How can you not tell me Jason?" Raven said in anger, a few objects rattled in dark magic. Jason sighed in frustration "It wasn't important."

Raven sharply turned to face her boyfriend and hissed "How can you think it wasn't important? You took three bullets Jason near your heart...three bullets! You almost died."

"I'm not dead, so how is it any important now?" he said, anger and frustration creeping in his voice.

"You are my boyfriend Jason, it is important to me." She yelled, a few more objects rattling now. They had been fighting for about an hour now and they both were incredibly thin on their patience.

"I am fine now, so why are you making it a bigger deal than it is." He yelled back.

She took a step towards him and exclaimed "It is a big deal because you are important to me. Don't you get that?"

He also took a step towards her and yelled "No, what I don't understand why are you so mad?"

"I am mad at you because I love you." She spat turning away from him in frustration.

Raven and Jason had been dating for two years now and were living together. Jason had just returned from a long mission and Raven got to know that he didn't tell her that he nearly died had Batman not intervened. Which was also why Jason didn't want to talk about it, he was pissed off because Batman saved him; needless to say he still had some issues with his adoptive father.

After Batman found out that he was the anti- hero, Red-X; he tried to get Jason to join the family again, Jason was a little reluctant about that but he became a hero again.

Jason growled and grabbed her arm to make her look at him, his eyes were pulsing green from the pit as he snapped "Maybe that's the problem" Raven gasped and looked at him with shock and hurt.

"...I can take care of myself, I don't need anyone and even if I did I am sure as hell that I don't need a pathetic demon like you." He added after a couple of moments of shocked silence, his eyes still pulsing green.

They were silent for a couple of moments as his words hung between them like poisonous daggers. Raven looked at him with tears welling up in her eyes, his eyes lost the green tint as the realization of his words dawned upon him. He took a step towards his girlfriend who was on the verge of crying and reached out to touch her and protect her against his harsh words but she stepped back and chanted her mantra to teleport away from him.

He was reaching forward to grab her before she teleported away but he was too late, he looked at the spot which was previously occupied by his beloved girlfriend and he sunk his face in his hands and pulled his hair a little roughly.

This wasn't how today was supposed to go; he wanted to spend time with his beloved girlfriend after being away for so long. He had missed her so much.

He honestly wasn't thinking when he spoke, he just saw red at that moment and he didn't mean anything he said. He loved her, more than anything in his life and her love was one thing he treasured more than anything and that would never ever be a problem; and he couldn't live without her.

He knew that his words hurt her, despite her emotionless appearance Raven felt everything very deeply and she had told him that she never felt like anyone needed her or wanted her and hearing those words from him would have really broken her heart.

He grabbed his phone and his gear and rushed out of their apartment to find his girlfriend while he dialled her number and tried to track her phone.

Meanwhile Raven teleported herself away from their apartment, she wiped her tears but they continued to fall, she slowly walked to the nearest bar and sat ordering a drink for herself. His words had cut deep and had hurt her a lot more than she could fathom and the only thing she wanted to do now was drink.

Yeah, many of her boyfriend's habits had rubbed onto her.

She sighed and placed her head in her hands, silently crying while his words repeated themselves in her mind. She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard her phone ring.

She pulled it out of her pocket and saw the picture of her boyfriend and his name flash on the screen. She cut the call and switched off her phone so that he couldn't track her and shoved it back in her pocket.

As she drank she thought about her options, she could go to her big brother but he was off on some mission with Kori. So the alien was also out, maybe she could speak to Richard, no she stopped that train of thought.

After her last encounter with Damian and now with Jason, she couldn't speak to him. She couldn't deal with bats anymore. 'Maybe what they said was true, why will they need me?' she thought sadly and ordered another drink.

Damian Wayne, the blood son of Bruce Wayne was her close friend but even he tended to say things without thinking. And what he said last time to her had felt like he had stabbed her.

Yeah, she wasn't having good days.

After a few hours, she sat in the bar almost drunk when she felt a familiar presence approach her but she didn't bother to look. Nope, she didn't care who it was or what they wanted, they could all go to hell.

"Finally Raven, Jason is going crazy looking for you." Came the familiar voice of her good friend, Richard as he sat beside her on a bar stool.

Richard was actually worried because if Jason had called him for help finding Raven then they must have had a bad fight. Jason usually stayed distant and didn't call for help unless he was really desperate. And now his worries increased as he saw Raven drinking, many glasses surrounded her and she was holding one also. Raven was usually level headed and logical; and if she was drinking heavily then she must be really upset.

"Don't care...leave me alone." She slurred and continued drinking from the glass in her hand. He sighed and turned to look at her, her shoulders were slumped in defeat and she was holding onto the glass as if her life was depending on it. He couldn't see her face as it was shadowed by her now long wavy hair.

He was about to say something when he saw a few tears drop on the bar as she finished her drink. She placed her glass on the table and extended her card towards the bartender to pay for her drinks. "What happened Rae? Tell me" he said calmly but also firmly as he placed his hand on her shoulder in a friendly way.

"Nothing...just leave me be." Came her low reply. Raven internally snarled at her demon anatomy, she couldn't even get drunk fully; she was just tipsy right now. She got up, shaking off his hand and turned to leave the bar when he grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving. She just jerked her hand back.

"You are one of my best friends, please tell me." He pleaded again. She wrapped her hands around herself and mumbled "Damian and Jason are right."

And she walked out of the bar leaving a confused Richard behind, what were his brothers right about. He ran to catch up with Raven who was walking slowly; he jogged beside her and asked "Where are you going?"

The streets seemed a little empty for it deep in the night and a storm had just passed, leaving puddles of water in its wake.

She didn't have a destination in mind, she was just walking. "Jason doesn't need me." She mumbled again, her eyes droopy and her legs shaky. Richard turned towards her as he walked, not seeing where they walked.

Richard had directed all his attention towards the young woman in front of him who was a very strong demon, who was the queen of hell and could destroy the world on a whim but right now she was vulnerable and sad. He was trying to understand and maybe then solve what was troubling her but he couldn't understand anything from her cryptic answers.

Before he could say anything, a light flashed behind him, Raven turned and pushed him away. He was caught off guard by this and he fell and as he fell he heard a crashing sound and a sound of a vehicle stopping forcefully. His heart skipped a beat as he realized what happened.

He got up quickly and ran towards the truck; he hadn't realized that they were walking on the road. When he reached he saw the bleeding body of Raven near an electric pole with sparks falling from the pole because of the collision and a few wires laying near her, and a man panicking as he dialled a number. Richard ran towards his friend and saw her clothes seeping blood, she was bloodied and bruised with a deep gash on her forehead.

He drew her to his lap and said frantically "Raven...look at me." Her eyes were half hooded, there were silence as he quickly scooped her up and made his way over to the cave as that was the place nearest to them and one of the very few places equipped to help her. His heart was jumping loudly, his friend saved him but maybe at her cost. "Jason." She mumbled and passed out; her body limp in his arms as he rushed.

'Oh God, Jason! How would he handle this?' Richard knew that he had to call Jason but right now his priority was making sure that his friend would survive.

He jumped quickly but carefully and ran as to not hurt the empath, he didn't care if his clothes were bloodied, and he just had to make sure she was all right.

Richard didn't want to think about the worst, he pinged the emergency button which he always had on his belt to alert the cave. He was panting for air by the time he reached but he quickly entered the pass code and saw his mentor, his father standing there with his younger brother, Tim.

"What happened Richard?" Batman asked as he took the young woman from Richard's arms and rushed her to the medical wing. "Accident...she saved me." He said in between long intakes of air.

Batman carefully but swiftly took the young woman to the medical wing, blood was seeping from her wounds and her bruises were turning blue-black for some reason.

Batman was quite fond of the young empath, at the beginning he did not approve his second son dating an inter- dimensional demon's daughter but she had slowly won him over. He saw that she made Jason happy and made him feel loved and honestly he didn't want anything more than that. After everything Jason had been through he deserved happiness.

With extreme caution he did a scan of her and started her treatment.

Richard sighed and saw his hands and clothes which were covered in the dark beauty's blood. He sat with Tim; they didn't say anything for they were sad and worried for their friend. Richard rubbed his eyes and took out his phone and dialled his younger brothers' phone.

After a couple of rings Jason picked up his phone.

"Did you find her?" Came his desperate question. "Jason...something has happened."

Jason reached the cave and yelled "Where the hell is she?!" his heart was thumping so fast and loudly that he could hear it over the lightning raking the city outside the shelter of the cave as he approached Richard and Tim.

When he saw his older brother, time stopped for him and his heart started beating faster if possible, adrenaline pumped through his veins. Richard's clothes were stained in dark blood along with his hands; Jason tried to steady himself when he saw that Richard didn't look at him.

He growled and asked again in a dangerously low voice "Where is my girlfriend?" Richard looked at him with concern and guilt lacing his expression and sighed sadly "In the medical wing..." Jason pulled Richard's collar so that they were eye to eye as he roared "What the damn hell happened?"

Richard freed himself from his brother's grasp with a deep breath and told him everything. Him finding her in a bar, she almost drunk and unwilling to speak to him, and her saving him from being hit by a truck but getting hurt instead.

Richard turned and saw fury and concern on his younger brother's face, before Jason could say anything Batman walked towards them. Jason ran towards their mentor and asked frantically "How is she? Is she okay?"

Batman sighed and looked at his son who was fidgeting in his worry and was two seconds away from running towards his girlfriend. "Jason, she hasn't woken up yet and is very weak. We won't know fully about her condition until she has woken up."

"What happened to her?" He demanded. Batman sighed and said reluctantly "She has lost a lot of blood and has four broken bones and one fractured rib."

"But she can heal herself." Jason stated in anger. Batman took off his cowl and said "Her powers are exhausted after protecting her heart from the current."

Wordlessly Jason ran towards the medical wing and towards his weak girlfriend. He opened the glass door with a shaky breath and saw his strong and beautiful girlfriend now looking pale and fragile. Her head was bandaged as were some parts of her hands and she was hooked onto several machines, he slowly walked towards her and saw her midriff also bandaged.

He carefully held her hand, cautious enough to not cause her more pain than she already is in. He kneeled beside her on the floor and kissed her hand "Wake up, love...if only to be angry at me; but please wake up...I need you." His heart beat was mirroring the thunder that was echoing in the city.

He said the last part shakily and rested his head beside her, trying to blink away the tears forming in his eyes.

Bruce, Richard and Tim saw the scene before them and were astonished seeing Jason like this, so broken over someone. They all hoped that Raven would wake up soon, for she was the only one who could heal Jason also.

Jason woke up to a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. He lifted his head hoping it was all a bad dream but when he met with the bandaged body of his girlfriend his face fell. He looked over his shoulder and saw his father standing with a concerned expression.

"She'll be okay Jason; she loves you too much to leave you." Bruce comforted his son. Jason sighed sadly and rubbed his eyes saying "I screwed up Bruce...I said some things I didn't mean, I hurt her...I am the reason she is like this. If I hadn't said all that then she wouldn't have left...and then she wouldn't have been in this condition."

"Thinking like this won't do you any good Jason, all you can do right now is learn from your mistakes. And I am sure that she will be okay, she's very strong." Bruce said wisely.

"You haven't slept in two nights, go on. I'll sit with her." Bruce added. "I can't leave her." Jason said stubbornly.

Bruce sighed and said "At least go shower and eat something...until then I'll sit here."

Jason thought over his mentor's words and then reluctantly nodded and kissed his girlfriend's hand which he had been holding and got up "I'll be back soon, love."

Bruce watched his son walk out and then turned his attention towards the young empath in front of him and said softly to her "Jason needs you, he's happy with you and I haven't seen him this happy since a long time."

After a couple of minutes the dark knight saw a twitch of black magic on the empath's fingertips; he sighed a bit in relief knowing that she was in there somewhere.

After an hour, the glass doors swished open and Bruce met with the face of his eldest son, "Where's Jason?" the older hero asked.

"He passed out on his bed." Richard said with a slight chuckle and the dark knight just smiled a little and then turned his attention back to the dark beauty.

0O0

"Where's Raven?" Jason roared as he saw the empty bed in the bat cave, his fury was surfacing as Tim approached him and said softly "Bruce and Dick shifted her to the Manor while you were sleeping...they are with her at the moment."

"Thanks replacement." He nodded at his younger brother and approached his old home through one of the many secret entrances to his old home. He approached the medical room, situated in the depths of the manor and saw Raven still unconscious and Richard sitting on a chair beside her and reading some novel to her sleeping form.

Jason walked inside and grabbed a chair, and pulled it so that he could sit with by his girlfriend. Richard paused from his reading and said with a tiny smile "Bruce said that her wounds are healing rather quickly."

"Then why isn't she waking up?" Jason said with desperation and worry lacing his voice. Richard placed a hand on his brother's shoulder "She'll wake up, Jaybird...she is too stubborn. It will just take some time."

Jason didn't reply instead he just looked at his girlfriend.

After a couple of long, slow moments "I'm sorry...if only I had paid more attention to where I was walking then she wouldn't have to save me."

Jason turned and looked at the guilty expression of his elder brother, he couldn't pretend that he wasn't angry at him for not protecting Raven but then he remembered that his girlfriend was Raven, and if the choice came to save herself or others then she would chose others in a heartbeat.

Her selflessness was something he both admired and hated at the same time.

"Don't apologize Dick, I asked you to help me find her...in a way it's my fault." Jason muttered. Richard placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and picked up the book again and began reading from where he had left off.

Jason didn't say anything instead he lightly kissed her hand before holding it tightly between his. He also noticed the light flame of magic on her fingertips and smiled in relief internally, knowing that her magic was slowly coming back, which would help her heal.

A week went by; Raven was still unconscious; she had begun to show signs of rapid healing when one day her heart beats started to slow down. The whole bat family started panicking but Bruce had restarted her heart via electric shocks. Jason was two seconds away from losing control but when he heard the rhythmic beating of her heart, he calmed down.

And since that day he refused to leave her side but after his brothers, Alfred's and Bruce's constant coaxing he was made to eat, shower and sleep. And he was not to be given entry unless he did all that, Jason grumbled as he left his girlfriend's side after kissing her jewel lightly and muttering an 'I'll be back.'

Today Damian was watching Raven; he hadn't come to see her ever since he found out that she was in the medical wing. He couldn't face her as he remembered his last words to her. His heart was filled with guilt when he remembered how hurt she looked.

"I didn't mean anything I said." Damian muttered softly.

"What did you say exactly?" Richard asked from the door. Damian whipped his head towards the source of the voice and sighed knowing that he cannot lie to his elder brother.

"I said something I didn't mean...I said that she was a mistake and when Todd realizes that fact he will also leave her."

There was a moment's silence, Damian looked at the carpet in shame; unable to meet his brother's disapproving stare.

"You said WHAT to my girlfriend." Jason yelled from the entrance of the room, which had Richard and Damian's gaze snapping over to him. And he looked furious with his eyes pulsing green. Jason stalked towards the ex- assassin but before he could say anything Richard came in between them and placed a hand on Jason's chest, holding him back so that he wouldn't bruise the youngest Wayne.

"He didn't think before he spoke, Jaybird and he regrets it." Richard said.

"And that makes it forgivable!" yelled Jason. "No, it doesn't. Let me speak to him while you sit with Raven." Richard said calmly.

Jason glared and growled as he sat on the chair near his girlfriend as Richard pulled Damian out of the room.

They stood outside in silence; Richard's glare was piercing into Damian. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize to me...you need to apologize to Raven when she wakes up...and next time think before you speak, your words did hurt her a lot and made her think that what you said was right." Richard said and walked off.

Damian walked in the room when Jason had left for a minute or so; he walked over to the unconscious form of his best friend and said "I apologize for my cruel words Raven, I didn't mean any part of it...we are lucky to have you in our lives and I hope that you wake up soon." He saw her fingers twitch and her magic seep through her fingers.

That evening, Bruce was watching Raven and Jason, as he had slept with his resting beside her on the bed and his hands holding hers in a gentle but firm grasp. Bruce silently did a scan of her and saw that all her wounds were healing quickly.

Suddenly the young girl gasped lightly and blearily opened her eyes, she felt a heavy weight on her hand and when she turned she saw her boyfriend sleeping with his head near her and her hand in between his. He stirred a bit but didn't wake up.

"Finally you're awake." Bruce said with a soft smile towards the girl he was coming to think of as a daughter. "H-how?"

"Dick brought you here." He replied softly. When he saw that Raven was about to say something he added "Sleep, we can talk after you have fully rested."

Raven wanted to protest but her eyes were droopy from the medication, she slowly gave in and slept. The dark knight looked at the now sleeping young woman and smiled in relief, she was awake and all right. He then turned to his son and lightly shook him awake to give him the news.

Raven slowly opened her eyes and was met with the beautiful aquamarine eyes of her boyfriend and his smiling face. "There she is, sunshine." He said softly.

"You gave us quite a scare Rae." Richard said; Raven turned towards the source of the voice and saw the Tim, Richard, Damian standing near the opposite wall with Bruce standing on her right side with relief shining in his eyes and Alfred standing at the entrance with a small smile. Jason helped Raven sit up as he placed pillows behind her to support her.

Bruce saw the confusion on her face and said "Let's give them some privacy; we can speak to Raven later." They all nodded and shuffled out of the room, as the door closed behind them, Raven found herself crushed to Jason's chest.

"I'm sorry Rae...I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it." He said frantically. Raven could feel his tremble as he pulled her tighter against him and kissed her hairline.

She slowly pulled away and saw the worry written on his face "Don't let me go again." She placed her hand on the right side of his face and he leaned into it "Never little bird, never again." He kissed the inside of her palm and pulled her closer so that he rested his forehead against hers. "I was so scared little bird...so scared."

She looked up at him with the dark, enchanting eyes of hers and said softly with a smile "I know...I could hear everything." He then leaned forward and kissed her passionately, pouring all his love and worry in that kiss. She responded with equal passion and wrapped her arms around his neck.

They parted and Jason kissed her nose saying "I love you...I love you so much." Then he saw the smile that made his heart beat a little faster and she replied kissing him lightly "I love you too."

Jason smiled at her words and then saw the tiredness in her eyes, he grinned and said "Come on, rest for a bit...your body hasn't fully healed." She smiled and laid back on the pillows, Jason was about to get up when she caught his hand and muttered "Stay..."

Jason kissed her hand and saw her making space for him on the bed; he smiled and got on beside her. He curled around her and placed his hand around her waist, carefully enough to not hurt her injuries. She placed her head on shoulder and her hands on his.

He kissed her temple and pulled her tighter against him and muttered "You're my little bird and I am never letting go ever again." And he could feel her smile against his skin before she slept and after a few moments of watching her sleep he also gave in.

And that's how the bat family found them later, Jason curled around Raven with her head on his shoulder; both having happy and peaceful expressions. They didn't have the heart to wake the couple up so they left silently, letting the couple find comfort and love in each other.

[chyrstis]

Hana/Sharky or Hana/John for the Ultimate Ship Meme?

@raisinghellinotherworlds

I’ve got Hana/Sharky here, so let’s give Hana and John some attention, especially since this next fic I’m working out should give them a lot more to work with. :D

--

Hana Vao / John Seed

General:

Rate the Ship -  

Awful | Ew | No pics  pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do  it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all  other OTPs - I’m a bit quieter about this one due to wanting to develop it more, but it snuck up on me and I love it)

How long will they last? - There’s a hell of a lot that the two need to work through and work out, but once they do, they’re in it for the long-term.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It’s not love at first sight by any means of the word. John eyes her during the initial arrest, but is dismissive. Hana’s only set on looking at Joseph once his attention starts boring into her, and hardly registers that the other siblings are in the room. After that, and once Hana really starts laying into John’s operation, he’s infuriated and intrigued, and Hana’s all too glad for the opportunity to piss him off. But John does fall first, and it’s not too long after she tries to capture him that feelings start entering the mix. Hana’s much further off, but by the time John does start finding ways to ‘help’ her and they seem genuine, any feelings towards him start warming faster than anticipated. There’s a bit of a rift that forms before the two go underground, but over the next few years they’re able to repair it, and start a relationship on much more even footing.

How was their first kiss? - Their first is incredibly ill-advised. It’s during an attempt to capture him, and Hana’s injured and desperate and in the middle of grappling with John when a thought pops into her head. ‘Sharky said he’s into me. Maybe I can use it to weasel out of this? No big deal.’ So, she kisses him. Kisses him and goes, ‘Oh, shit, he’s actually pretty into this’, and then punches him in the dick right after. Their first real kiss is a different kind of desperate later on down the line, and luckily for John, doesn’t require any dick-punching. He does make sure she actually wants this before continuing, however, and once she does confirm that, proceeds to pour every feeling he’s tried burying into it.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Hana! It’s honestly something that they never sat down to discuss officially, but she has no doubt in her mind that she wants to ask John once the idea’s been planted and she has a ring to do so.

Who is the best man/men? - There’s no ceremony for them, and considering John’s previous role (and the amends he’s trying to make), he would find it difficult to fill this position. Sharky would 100% try to volunteer, though and at that point would just be dragged into participating in the actual wedding himself, so....

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Hana would also find her hands a bit tied, and understandably so.

Who did the most planning? - Hana, though by planning it’s more ‘get John alone so she can talk to him’ and luckily for her manages to catch him working in his room. Then when she’s about to get the ring out, fumbles it, and has to dig it out from under his desk while he’s sitting by it. She doesn’t hesitate to propose once she gets her hands on the ring after that, and John’s honestly left speechless for a good minute once he realizes just what she’s doing.

Who stressed the most? - John. Up until that moment he’d drawn a few conclusions he shouldn’t have, and Hana’s glad to prove him wrong.

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. -

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - N/A - Technically no one was invited since there was no official ceremony, but I think it’s safe to say that Joseph’s invite would've been lost in the mail. Or set on fire by Sharky.

Sex:

Who is on top? - They do tend to switch, but there’s been plenty of times where Hana’s put John right on his back, and he’s hardly tried to stop her.

Who is the one to instigate things? - They’re both pretty awful teases. It’s entirely a game of how much extended eye contact they can hold across a room and during conversation before the other cracks or gets the hint. John also enjoys trying to see how much innocent innuendo he can come up with, while Hana goes for small touch after small touch, seeing how close she can get to him before trying to leave the room. If it’s in an isolated area, she usually doesn’t have the chance, but if not, John’s usually not far behind.

How healthy is their sex life? -

Barely  touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple  weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other  on the couch right now - It would be a ten here, but their moments together are a bit more spaced out at the start of their relationship. Once they’re officially living together, though...

How kinky are they? -

Straight  missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff  and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a  horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - At least a couple of rounds depending on how much time they’re able to have together. Ideally there would be no rush at all, but they don’t always have that luxury.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - It’s certainly something they try for, but John would enjoy casually losing count whenever she'd try to tally them up. And would likely be in the process of trying to get an extra one out of her just on principle. The jerk.

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer  than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking  and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so  vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could  collapse the next time they do it. - They really have two speeds here. Some night’s John’s softer, caught up in the fact that she’s actually there with him and wants to be, and he can’t help but want to look at her, touch her gently, and take his time. Others, it’s only a matter of waiting for a second of privacy before they’re trying to tear the other’s clothes off.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -

No  touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the  couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more  often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. - John gives her a little space from time to time, but it’s hard for the two not to touch each other in bed, and he won’t hesitate to wrap himself around her. It’s reassuring to have her that close, and more often than not, he’ll actually start drifting off due to the level of contentment setting in. But most affectionate gestures remain behind closed doors for them, so there’s no heavy doses of PDA going on, no matter how badly they’d want to express it otherwise.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - One, which John was nervous about to start, but relaxed as time went on. I’m thinking William (Will? Billy?) for his name, mostly because John didn’t like Theodore (if she can’t honor Ted, she’d honor Bill), both Bruce and Wayne were also shot down, and J-names were right out. (and Hana might’ve shed a tear that night over how many of her action heroes were actually named John)

How many children will they adopt? - N/A

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - At first it’s Hana due to John’s nerves in handling the baby for any period of time, but he’s able to adjust and let go of that fear once they talk their way through it.

Who is the stricter parent? - They’re even at first, but as John gets more comfortable with the idea of parenthood (and makes more peace with the fear that he’ll be just like his parents), he’s able to be more of a disciplinarian. But it really takes very little for him to crumple like a wet paper bag.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - John. He doesn’t have to try too hard with Will, but has a cautious word to share just in case Will thinks of ever being half as much of a daredevil as his mother.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - John’s got a system down, but Hana’s there to sneak in added things to boost their kiddo’s day, like extra fruit, or a cookie.

Who is the more loved parent? - They’re both evenly loved, but Hana’s laid-back nature definitely leads to more partner in crime bonding opportunities (and good-natured pranks on John).

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? N/A – In a No-Cult situation John would be able to     finesse his way through these in a way Hana never could. And she’s all too glad to skip them entirely.

Who cried the most at graduation? - N/A, but Hana would be swiping at her eyes, and trying to badly hide the fact that she’s sniffling.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - John. John 100%.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - John will try to get her out of the kitchen to bear the brunt of the cooking, but never fully succeeds. 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - John, if only because he’ll actively try to stick to a balanced diet.

Who does the grocery shopping? - John would probably take the reins here if only to get specifics, but Hana would definitely want to tag along and sneak a few extra things into the cart.

How often do they bake desserts? - It’s not a common thing at all, but the minute Hana mentions missing desserts and cakes, John might make it one of his priorities. Even though he’s terrible at it.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - If Hana had her way it’d be mostly meat, but John gently twists her arm into getting a bit more variety into her diet.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - John, and it’s a struggle at first learning to do without a lot of the items he kept in his kitchen, but he slowly learns, and goes as far as thinking of mood lighting, music, and the like. It’s a brand of romance that Hana would call ridiculous at first glance, but secretly swoons a bit over.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Hana would for ease, really. John can stress a little too much about making sure every last part of the meal’s perfect, and no matter how many times she’ll tell him it’s fine, he still tries to go that extra mile.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - It’s actually about 50/50 for these two. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - John, mostly because he seems like the type to stress clean and reorder things as a means of centering himself, and poor Hana has no hope of ever being that neat.

Who is really against chores? - Neither’s against chores, but Hana does draw a line with the extent she’ll deep clean things.

Who cleans up after the pets? - These two don’t have pets at first, but the cats that Hana ends up attracting lead to more than a few guests sticking around, and she tends to keep up with them.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - This is a rare case of neither, unless Hana’s exhausted and wanting to put it off until tomorrow and John’s back is turned.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - John. Things must be in order and staged well, even if the guest in question is a human tornado.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Hana. She’d probably pretend to do a magic trick with it afterwards, being incredibly obvious about where she’s trying to pull the money from (his pocket, behind his ear), but John would play along, using just enough fake awe to get her to crack and start giggling.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - John. With the shower he used to have, it was the ideal environment to relax and think in.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - These two don’t have a dog, but there have been times when Hana’s been out (or John), and a few of the cats will just start following them. That totally counts, right?

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Hana loves decorating, but John turns it into an event, and he’s so over the top elaborate with it she can’t help but laugh and love it all at once.

What are their goals for the relationship? - To build and keep trust and respect between them. To try harder, and be better.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Neither normally, but John’s odd sleep schedule might leave him sleeping until noon if he was up until 3-4 AM getting work done the night before.

Who plays the most pranks? - It’s actually closer to even than Hana expected it would ever be, but she wins this one.

[ncfan-1]

Gotham 04X03, ‘They Who Hide Behind Masks’

This week, we have an auction, a hare-brained, morally bankrupt scheme, and Bruce Wayne as the least-convincing spoiled brat in the history of everything. Also: whatttttt. (You get three guesses before reading this recap, and the first two don’t count.) This is Gotham.

- We open with a flashback to AD 125 Arabia, a single man on horseback after a terrible battle. He stops over the corpse of a seemingly-dead Alexander Siddig, but we know how this ends… with a dip in incandescent green water. The man tells Ra’s al Ghul that he is his heir, and that now al Ghul must find his, as he is given a very particular-looking knife.

(Will we be told what made the man choose al Ghul? Who knows.)

- Bruce is watching one of Oswald’s shipments be brought into Gotham via boat. He sees a thief scoping out the docks, but despite Alfred’s pleas, goes down to help them.

- It’s Selina. Obviously. But it’s Bruce who gets caught first.

- Now for sunny Miami! Gordon’s really going through with this. Oh, my. He didn’t even call ahead. What an asshole.

- Falcone does not take the extended hand. Gordon, why are you calling him ‘Carmine?’ Do you really think that’s going to endear you to him?

- Falcone’s good at cutting through Gordon’s bullshit, I’ll give him that.

- And he’s dying, too. Can’t say I’m shedding any tears over that.

- Sofia isn’t immediately thrilled about Gordon, which I appreciate. I don’t know if she and Mario were raised together or not, but even if they weren’t, he was still her brother. She actually looked pretty freaked when she first found out who he was.

- Tense scene between Bruce and Alfred as the latter stitches up the latter’s wound. Alfred is really not liking this vigilante business; considering their relationship, I’m not surprised.

- Barbara’s demeanor is… interesting. I’m really hoping they’re going where I think they’re going with it.

- Oswald’s just talking to the Edcicle like it can answer him when Zsasz irritates him. Christ.

- And we have a random woman defrosting Ed. Because of course it couldn’t be anyone we already knew. Look, I know Gotham’s supposed to be a super-chaotic place, but couldn’t Ed getting defrosted be the result of something less… random?

- Oswald’s not happy. Zsasz looks happy at having someone to kill.

- Edward wakes up to a stalker shrine set up by an elementary school classmate, in what I’m pretty sure is a direct parallel of Oswald waking up in Ed’s apartment in S2. We have what I think (considering I’m not an expert) is a pretty realistic depiction of muscle atrophy. And we have the man who has objectified women, now being objectified by a woman.

- Bruce bullshits his way onto Oswald’s ship. Runs into trouble, and Alfred bails him out again, less than pleased.

- Barbara’s trying to buy a knife off of Oswald. Three guesses which knife.

- Now Bruce and Alfred are looking up the knife. They see an illustration of Ra’s al Ghul, and are justifiably pretty freaked, considering this would make the man around two thousand years old. (For the record, I don’t think this is a logic fail on their parts. As best as I can recall, all they know about the Lazarus Pit is that the waters can heal mortal wounds. They don’t necessarily know about its other capabilities.)

- Harvey points out the obvious that bringing Falcone back would ignite a really bloody gang war.

- And now Sofia’s approaching Gordon in a really low-cut dress.

- You always respected Falcone, Gordon? Really? Not the impression I got. (I note he’s much more able to be tactful with Sofia than he was with the surviving loved one of a man he killed last episode.)

- It turns out Falcone was a very hands-off father.

- Sofia and Mario were raised together. Well, the Gordon/Sofia subplot is going to be even ickier than it already was.

- Please tell me she is setting him up for a serious fall. She does sound super wooden when she says Gordon didn’t have a choice about shooting her brother.

- As Zsasz is relating a rumor that Ed’s defrosting was an inside job, I notice that Oswald doesn’t even seem to have noticed Ivy’s absence.

- Myrtle is still… I can’t say I feel sorry for Ed, ‘cause this version of Ed is… not particularly sympathetic. Like at all. I feel a little sorry for him, if only on principle. But even then, she’s not nearly as creepy as he could be with Kristin Kringle. And we get our first signal that Ed didn’t come out of his time on deep freeze mentally unscathed. (I do appreciate the fact that the writers acknowledge that someone isn’t just going to bounce back from something like that.)

- Sunk cost fallacy, Gordon; you really need to figure out what that is.

- This episode is making me miss the ocean even more than usual.

- Gordon does make me a little sad sometimes; this is one of those times.

- Quick to lock lips with the guy who killed your brother, aren’t you, Sofia? Okay, I definitely think she’s looking to set Gordon up for a fall now. Stitch him up nicely, as Alfred would say. Please make it happen, Gotham writers; give us a dangerous, manipulative Sofia Falcone, I beg of you.

- Bruce and Alfred are going over their new plan. Bruce goes to the auction and buys the knife. Alfred is talking about roles, and the one Bruce needs to play tonight—a reckless teenager, a “spoiled brat”, as Bruce puts it. This isn’t gonna go well. I don’t think Bruce could do “brat” convincingly if his life depended on it.

- Bruce is getting a little better at improv. Alfred is pleased.

- (I know it’s on short notice, but couldn’t Bruce have found a proxy buyer.)

- The knife is an embalming knife.

- And Oswald lets Bruce have the knife just ‘cause he knows it’ll piss off Barbara.

- (And yes, Bruce Wayne is the least convincing spoiled brat you could possibly imagine. His default state is “well-meaning sweetheart”, and he clearly has no idea how to pull off “shallow, empty-headed brat.” Probably the only reason anyone buys it is because most of the people in the room haven’t had extended contact with him up until now.)

- And Ed reveals that as far as physical health goes, he’s doing just fine now. Demonstrates it by knocking out the woman who defrosted him. Dude, I know she was a stalker and she wasn’t being particularly nice to you by then, but�� Never mind. Roll scene.

- Bruce and Selina confront each other. I like their new dynamic. They’re clearly not happy with each other, but they also still clearly care about each other and they are asking each other questions instead of just assuming they have all the info they need. I think they’re still making a few assumptions, though; Bruce definitely is.

- We have a new character, Detective Harper. I hope she’s a new mainstay.

- Sofia shows up at the precinct. She looks a lot better in a suit than in a dress, I must say. We have it implied that Sofia’s taken full part in Miami mob activities. And she was setting him up, at least a little. I’m happy.

- Myrtle is tracked down, gets offed. Zsasz likes her dress, but that’s not enough to save her. I actually feel kind of sorry for her.

- Edward’s just walking around town in broad daylight. ‘Cause of course.

- Barbara vs. Ra’s al Ghul fight scene. Yessss, they are going where I thought they were going. (Well, not entirely. Babs x Ra’s whattttttt…. Just…… Whatttttt.)