#he aint done nothin

[bustedrocket]

WHY is everyone so MEAN to him!!!! What did he do!!!!!! it make me sadddd

he is so friendly and non-threatening </33 its not his fault he’s irradiated!!! (it’s roadhog’s) guys be nice to him what the hecckkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!

[domifucker]

NOOOOO LET HIM OUT

[whenyourehome]

shoutout to rich goranski cuz his personality got watered down to arson and being bisexual

[willowser]

☕️ for the ask game ! <3

how do you comfort each other on a bad day ?

on a bad day, hmm 🥺🥺 i — like to lay down and mope when i'm having a bad day LOL but i don't like being left on my own, so i like to think that bakugou compromises by dragging me out to the couch, at least, and has me sit with him LOL i think he takes care of me in the sense that he lets me be as touchy-feely as i want and he gets up and brings me water or something — but he doesn't baby me, which i appreciate. if i'm glum about something, he comforts me by just being there, but he won't let me act miserable LOL and i will, given the opportunity.

for him — i really think that he needs time to decompress, alone, whenever he's had a bad day. he doesn't want to talk about it right away because it's just rehashing the same shit that upset him to begin with, and that'll just make it worse in the moment. i think he has to go take a shower first or go for a jog or go in his lil office room to do shit on his own, with the door closed — and that's okay ! bc i'm comfortable entertaining myself while he does what he needs to do. and then when he's finally settled down a bit, he'll come out from wherever he's shut himself away to and i'll just continue on like normal, like everything's fine, and then out of the blue, totally unpromoted, he'll just be like, "y'know this shit they've got us doin' right now is fucked." and then i'm like mhm mhm 😌😌 tell me, tell me 😌😌

🩷 self-ship game ✨️

[kaedeichinose]

the magpies this year as especially heinous idk whats up with them. i saw them chase a squirrel into the road. the neighbors was outside with his diabetic cat and they swooped down to yell at the cat.

[urfavnegronerd]

agape- nicholas britell

summary: miles is takin down ur braids 

published: july 27, 2023

warnings: Grammarly hates me, the patriarchy, a dash of toxic masculinity, miles being a product of that grrah grah boom type masculinity, aave (no im not translating shit for you yall got access to urban dictionary and its not really a warning), i edited it myself so lmk if there are any mistakes

sueñito- little dream, bonito- handsome/ pretty boy, no me importa- i don't care/ it's not important to me

w/c: 1.5 k

reader's black coded cus im black so deal w it <3

i think this something every black boy be needin deep down

“Stop movin, ma” 

“It’s knotty,” 

“You had these in for how long?” 

Silence. 

“There's your answer right there, mama,”  

“Sorry,” 

“Nun to be sorry for, just hold still,” 

Currently sitting on the bathroom floor criss-cross apple sauce, Miles was sitting on the toilet, your head between his knees, while he was taking down the frizzy lemonade braids that barely hugged your scalp anymore. 

“Miles?” 

He hums in response, rat tail comb in one hand, a tub of coconut oil in the other, threading the tail of the comb through the extensions down your back  

“You’re the prettiest boy in all of Brooklyn,” 

“Shut up” 

“Prettiest boy I’ve ever seen,” 

“Nuh-uh,” 

“Fuck you mean ‘nuh uh’? The little freckles all over your cheeks? Cutest things I’ve ever seen, especially how they’re all slightly different shades, like lil polka dots all over your face, gives me a map a’ where to kiss. The little tiny dimple on the left side of your face? Adorable, 10/10, no notes. Also very kissable." He's still now, staring at the back of your head, using bundles strewn over his shoulder, mouth agape. “Them thick and long ass eyelashes? I could stare at ‘em all day, they look like teeny tiny butterfly wings when you rest your eyes.” 

“Shut up,” he whispers, still unmoving, the little dab of coconut oil on his fingers slowly dribbling down his wrist 

“Your mind pretty as hell, too, I like listening to what you have to hear when you let me,” you mumble, pressing tiny kisses into his cargo pant–clad kneecap. 

“Stop doin that shit, ma” 

“What?” 

“Talkin all crazy like that,” 

“I’m not talkin crazy, miles I’m being honest,” 

“You makin me out to be some weak ass lil boy,” 

“Miles.” you turn around abruptly, staring at him dead in the eye. “I’m jus being honest wit you. What's going on?” 

“It’s nothin, ma, turn around”  

“Sueñito. Lemme know what's up,” 

“It’s nothin,” 

You huff, turning around to face the bottom of the sink again. Silence bellows throughout the bathroom, Miles rubbing oil on your braids to detangle them to later drag the comb in once again and throw the discarded hair extension over his shoulder. The only sound between the two of you is the Marvin Gaye spinning on the record player, rooms away, dull basslines thrumming through the apartment. 

“Ion like this,” 

“What?” 

“Whatever jus happened, we talk about what's bothering us,” 

“Ain't nothin botherin me, ma,” 

“Then why you start buggin' the second I get to complimenting you?” 

“Cus ian wit all that girly shit,” 

“Fuck you mean girly shit, I’m jus tryna love up on you Miles,” your nostrils flare as you stare ahead of you.  

“Baby, I’m all for that but–” 

“Miles, did someone tell you boys can't get that?” 

A silence. 

“Baby.” 

“What?” 

“Jus cus you a boy dont mean you don't deserve love,” 

“Aint nobody say allat–” 

“Shut up Ian done,” you say, swiftly turning around and snagging the oil and comb from his hand “jus cus you a boy doesn't mean you don't deserve to feel shit miles. Ion know what it was like wit your last girl, but Ian her. Okay? You allowed to be a person wimme, you know that right?” 

“Ma–” 

“Shut up I still ain't done yet. Miles I’m real, I’m right here. real like you, I promise you I’m not goin nowhere right now,” 

“You done?” 

“Yeah,”  

“C’mere,” he motions to his lap, taking the comb and oil out of your hands and setting them on the tiled floor, laying out the discarded bundles.  

“ ‘s oil all up on my hands” 

“No me importa ma, come up on here,”  

Obeying and wiping the excess coconut oil off your hand, you do. Straddling his lap, and looking into his eyes, examining the twinge of sadness in his eyes. 

“Talk to me, mama,” 

“I want you to know that you deserve love and that you’re allowed to feel some typa way. I want you to talk to me, Miles. I care about you so much and I wanna make sure you’re good. I love hearing you talk, but Ion like havin to beg you to talk to me. I love jus bein in your presence, but I hate feelin like that Miles. I don’t know who told you whatever's going through your head right now but they dead wrong. I wanna know how you be feelin, I wanna know.” 

“Why you even talk like this to me?” 

“Cus I’m your girl, n I like to kiss up on you and love all up on you,” 

At this, he averts his eyes, trying to escape your gaze, his breath audibly speeding up. 

“Mm mm, don't do that Miles. Please breathe,” 

You plead, subconsciously pressing your middle three fingers under his jaw trying to measure his heart rate. Almost as a reflex to hide from you, he shrugs your hand away from under his jaw and pulls his hoodie over his mouth.

“Nah nah, don't hide from me neither,”  

“Ain’t nobody hidin from you,” 

“Jus cus you a boy don’t mean you don't deserve them random ass cuddles, or someone to tie up your durag or wash your hair. It don’t mean you shouldn't get flowers or hugs or them lil hickies behind your ear. Don't mean you not allowed to be sad or mad or wanna cry. Now Ion know who told you or made you feel that way but they dead wrong Miles. You allowed to feel with me,” 

“Ian some lil boy runnin around though, that shit ain't for me,” 

“If you wasn't supposed to feel and acknowledge your feelings, why would you be able to feel them? They there for a reason,” 

Still straddled on his lap, he looks up at you with the tiny leverage you have on him. His eyes are big and doe-like, almost as if he’s scared to make this next step, say this next sentence.” 

“Ion know why,” he mumbles, voice soft and scared. suddenly he’s kissin up on you, gripping anything he can get his hands on, like he’s making up for lost time, lost feelings. It's urgent and a little rough, though his lips are soft and velvety, a twinge of menthol chapstick on them.  

“Yo yo yo, slow down. Ian goin nowhere” you whisper into his mouth, nails gently raking across his neck “ ‘m right here Miles, see?” you ask, guiding his hands to feel on the left side of your chest, right above your heart. “ ‘s my heart under there, I'm right here okay? I’m real, Miles I swear,” 

“You’re real?” he whispers, breath shaky and uneven fisting the thin fabric of your camisole under the evergreen zip-up, in an attempt to feel more of your heart. 

“You allowed to feel your feelings the same way you feel my heart,” 

He still looks astonished, scared, and frozen. suddenly it wasn’t him you were talking to anymore. it was the scared little Brooklyn boy who had all these feelings stored away inside him, unsure of what to do or who to show them to.  

“ ‘m sitting right here miles. I’m your girl, okay? This is real, and you are real,” 

“I’m real?” tears begin to swim in his eyes. 

“You’re real miles. and those feelings in that big heart of yours? Those are real too. And if you let me, I wanna hear all of 'em.”  

His body stills once more against you, a small tear gliding down his cheek. 

“I love you,” 

And then he’s sobbing. 

“Sshh, hey it's okay” you whisper, holding him close to your chest. “I love you so much I can’t hardly breathe when I'm around you. It’s okay and you're okay, Miles. I’m real and this is real and you. You are real.” you mumble into his braids, holding him with the protectiveness of a mother with a small child. 

He just sat there, his head buried in your chest as he cried quietly, letting everything out. You just sat and let him cry and vent through his tears. All the things he had bottled up, discouraged to show to anyone. Sooner or later the tears slow to a stop, his face puffy and hot. 

Gently tugging the ends of his braids, he looks up at you. 

“You feel better sueñito?” you ask, dragging the cuff of your sweater to dry his face and pressing butterfly kisses to his cheeks in its wake. He did nothing but nod lazily, seemingly lighter, and nuzzling his face into your chest. 

“Lemme finish wiping up your face n then you can be all up on me, bonito, okay? 

He just nodded, dropping his head back to rest against the bathroom wall, the half-taken-out braids on your scalp no longer th task at hand. Reaching behind him you grab a baby wipe and swipe the tears and snot off his face, leaving his skin with a glossy finish. Holding his chin up, you look dead in his eyes. 

“You so beautiful Miles.” 

And this time, he nods. 

🩷 reblogs are always appreciated for reach <3

[vitally-undead]

Hearts and Gods

Tw: blood, gore, illusion to sex at some point i think, mild cannibalism, does blood licking/consuming count? eh whatever. no use of y/n. y/n is just as bad as homelander. deadpool esque powers. r's eyes are gold. not beta read.

880 somethin words, aint got a good way to summarize it. y/n is gender neutral, nothin described aside from eye color as aforementioned.

Loving him was dangerous. That you knew, everyone knew. He himself was dangerous. A devil disguised as an angel for the public. Unpredictable yet predictable at the same time. He loved with all consuming violence. To be loved by him was not unlike being loved by death.

Death followed him everywhere. Whether he was covered in the blood of a criminal. The viscera of some unlucky employee who triggered his wrath, just another body shoved under the rug by Vought. You knew he enjoyed it, the killing, watching the life drain from a person's eyes as he crushed their heart in their chest. Or watching their body crumble in half without its spine. You knew all of this, you couldn't claim innocence when you were just as bad. Just as bloodthirsty as him. It's what made you two so compatible. That and the fact that if Homelander ever lost control with you, you would just bounce right back.

You should be dead. But you werent. You could heal any and every injury you endured. Vought made sure of that. You weren't invincible by no means, you could be injured, though that wasnt done easily. A slight squeeze pulled your wandering thoughts back to earth. You sighed softly as the hand around your heart loosened its tight grip slightly. Blue eyes met gold. Homelander cocked his head looking at you, lips pulled in a frown. His eyes dropped to your chest, gaze a mixture of disbelief and curiosity as it usually was. You ended up like this often, when he grew angry, or paranoid. So you stood, sternum cracked open, thumping heart exposed. Does it hurt? Some might wonder, at first, it does, but then it's a sweet pain that no one else but you and he would understand.

His gloves were long discarded on the table. Preferring to feel your heart in its entirety against his skin. His hand wrapped around behind the muscle as it beat. Blood coated your front, soaking onto the floor. Your lips twitched in a wry smirk at the thought of poor Ashley walking in. No doubt she would have a heart attack, thinking Homelander was in the midst of killing his team member. You let out a soft laugh, heart jolting in his hand as your lungs contracted. He looked at you his own amusement playing in his gaze as his thumb stroked over your ventricle.

"Thinking about Ashley again?" He questioned his other hand situated on your hip. "Mhm." You hummed in confirmation smiling at him. His grip tightened momentarily and you fleetingly thought if he was going to tear your heart free of your chest. You wouldn't mind, only remaining dead for a few seconds before another one grew back. He looked at you, you looked back. You clashed as much as you melded together. Each testing the other. You smirked and leaned backwards, your heartbeat strained as a familiar tugging sensation pulled in your chest. He stood there in silent contemplation, arm in your chest, heart in hand.

"Not today." He muttered his grip on your hip tightening as he pulled you closer. He leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss. It was messy and hungry, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip drawing blood. You groaned low pulse beginning to race, heart thrumming in his hand as he licked the blood from your lips as the small punctures closed. You kissed back, arm curling behind his neck, hand buried in his hair as you tugged him closer. You parted for a second a string of red tinged saliva connecting your mouths.

"I love you." You whispered gazing into his eyes. You kissed him this time. slowly, firmly pouring your feelings into the kiss. "I love you." You repeated, voice a low murmur. You said it like a mantra, like a prayer. A loyal worshiper at the altar of their deity. You clung to him as he clung to you. You needed him as he needed you. Homelander let go of your heart, removing his hand from your chest with a gentleness most wouldn't expect him to have. You exhaled slowly as your skin and bone grew back and the only trace of what happened was the blood staining your stomach and clothes, the blood and bone on the floor and the blood on his hands. He looked at his hand in silent awe almost before sucking the blood off two of his fingers. Pulling his hand from his mouth he wrapped it loosely around your throat pulling you in and kissing you harshly once more, shoving the taste of your blood from his tongue into your mouth. He pulled back with a smug grin as you panted. You looked around chewing your bottom lip.

"I feel bad for whoever they send up to clean the mess." You say as he scoffed curling his arms around your waist pressing his face in the crook of your neck. "No you don't." Homelander murmurs nipping along your pulse point. You laugh quietly, "Fine, I don't." You admit tugging on his hair making his breath hitch. Then you're in his arms and he's walking out presumably to take you home. You spent the rest of that evening in his bed, after you had showered of course. 

[since64bce]

Trumper HC: AOT CHARACTERS AS TRUMP SUPPORTERS

I'm not in Amurica or nothin so idek the guy. All I'm sayin is I think he's a funny man so lets go baby yeehaw

CHARACTERS??: CONNIE AND SASHA, MIKASA, ERWIN, REINER, BERTHOLDT, HISTORIA, PIXIS, FLOCH Warnings: Racism, Sexism, ageism, STEREOTYPING, homophobia, transphobia, swearing, soft porn, guns, terrorism, mentions of violence and molesting. (istg im nitpicking here) A/N: pls don't report me.

CONNIE + SASHA 🥹💃🕺 (Cowboy conspirators)

-I have to group them together Im sorry

-"We juhst tew keids werkin togeyther on ower dayddies raynch in teyxas"🤓🤠

-Sashas fam are a few hardened Trump veterans (it's in the braus bloodline) can you imagine her father NOT being a republican smth

-Connies fam is the same.

-Both of their dads are those weird uncles u only see @ thanksgiving once a year. NOT WEIRD IN A PEDO WAY. They the ones who talk abt the flouride makin the rats n frogs gay an whatnot. its a whole thing.

-BAsically con man🧍‍♂️ and sack nut🧍‍♀️ spend their days chewing on straw and standing outside abortion clinics. 👫

-They're probably like 12 or somthing idk

-But yes they really like trump. Hail trump✋. Worship trump🙏. Trump trump trump. Donald J trump💋. Love trump🫶. want trump👀. lick trump🫵. kiss trump🫵. Trump 4 life💪. Trump all day baby🫦. Trump👨🏽‍🦲.

-Honestly they wanna see trump more than trump wanna see them.

-Actually trump don't want to see them.

-He'd get molested, turn around and there'd be two skanky ass lookin children standing behind him how horrific.💀💀💀

-These children aren't normal

-God bless murica ✊✊ yeehaw

Mikasa es tu casa (Chilled out chad)

-Mikasa is one of them chill ones that just mind their own buisness

-Unproblematic chad😌

-She sets an example for the rest of society and shes ripped so lets all take a leaf out of mikasas book shall we

-This aint aot fr this is america 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸 so she lived happily ever after with her mama and papa ok. no weird human traffickers or nothing🖕🖕. Her parents would've been quite traditional and conservative

-I think she'd believe in the nuclear family and gender roles and what not but her beliefs would be very mild

-You can't get her fuckin forearms from making sandwiches all day babes ❤️‍🔥💪

-but yeah shes a sweetheart ilhsm💋

-And lets just say her being a trumpee is like Gods way of containing this woman

-she wouldn't have missed fr🔫

-And God forbid if she did miss cuz otherwise she'd have gone up there and done it with her bare hands baby

-casual Trump enjoyer

Erwin👱‍♂️ (Facebook warrior)

-He's one a them grandaddy Trumps💪👴. There from the very beginning.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

-You really think old people are bad at using technology?? WRONG.

-Levi helped him set up a facebook account 💋

-And It's the only fuckin thing he knows how to use on his computer. And he plays around on with his face this🤏 close to the screen, like gurl u don't need to do that 🧍‍♂️💀💀

-just use ur monacle or whatever🤷‍♀️

-But yeah whenever he comes upon gay 🌈🌈people posts on facebook my man has a heart attack. He clutches his chest falls outta his chair as he tries to get his breathing in control. 🤯😵

-Erwin will come across a post of two girls kissing an fickin collapse istg

-And then he'll get his talons out and start producing some juicy ass hate comments👹. He can't control himself, he's like a wild beast🥴😮‍💨, its like his arthiritis stricken claws have a gravitational pull towards that keyboard

-And he doesn't understand the whole algorithm thing either

There he squats with all these gay daddies on his facebook, hate spamming ALL of them AND HE STILL DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY FACEBOOK KEEPS SHOWING HIM THESE POSTS🤬🤬😡🫣🤷‍♀️

-He suffering multiple heart attacks a day people get this man off facebook🙌

-And then Levi will come over and see that Erwin has been writing hate comments under pictures of mens bulges on his computer🧍‍♂️

-Who gave this guy the tech knowledge to b able to cyber bully but not to close his damn tabs sheesh

-He's also become a top poster on one of the Trump groups that he follows ✊✊

-Also he uses the N word a lot 🧍‍♂️

Mr big tits (Bible, BBQ and an AK47)

-Oh my dear lovely big breasted Reiner Braun🍒🍒

-tells everyone abt how his papi went to 'nam and died when in reality his papi waz just a bich and left early🤫

-Not enough valour for him ig

-Even tho homeboy aint in the army 🫡 anymore he still stocks up more ammo than his local police department. 🫶🫰

-Hes just a🔅 cutesy little😻 hoarder with a cuetsy little collection of firearms too. 🤤🥰💖🩷🩵💙

-he will also wear cammo vests to the supermarket just to buy himself some spinach. He's a cammo boy. It's all he wears. 😮‍💨

-Aside from his gun collection and cammo obession, Reiner also loves a bit of BBQ here and there.

-believes the Founding Fathers’ original intent included God, guns, and smoked brisket.💪💪🦅🦅

-And country music of course.

-He's just a casual guy nothing too extreme😎🤠

-He owns a pair of american flag speedos tho, is confused as to why people need so many pronouns and passively aggressively competes in lawn care comps with his neighbor

-Somebody make this guy a father pls🥵😳🫃

Bechtolsheim :))))🦒🦒(Wall enthusiast)

-Oh my berty boy whom i love love love😤💕

-Let us b true with ourselves guys mr daddy long legs🕷️here has all our hearts and souls encaptured in his nice ol sweaty palms. I can tell ya now he's a man of the lord. He's down on those knees for j-dawg night'n day bro 🙏. He daps up the homeboy holy spirit on his way to bible study wit Reiner. ✝️✝️🫰

-Boy sure knows how to resist those temptations. Satan who? Sorry, B-dawg doesn't know him

-Everyone just thinks he's a nice guy 🧍🏽... which he is obv 🙄

-(In the daytime🌞, he's bertholdt, just a normal gurl💅🫦, living a normal life😸😝... but theres ✨something✨👁️👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 about him🧌🥸😱 that, no one ⁉️knows yet⁉️.... 🤨🧐cause he has secrets🤭🥵🥵👹👹👹......)

-he used to b part of a terrorist group.

-☠️

-BUT HES IS(IS) A NICE GUY HE WAS JUS A LIL BIT CONFUSED BACK THEN an thats okay baby everyone gets a bit confused sometimes.

-AND this was before he met God mkay.

-But yeah, now bertholdt has a burning descrimination against muslims.

-Its the trauma man.

-His stereotyping and racism is like a festering cancer, he fights it everyday like a champ 💃💃✊

-And what does this have to do with being a trumpee you might ask?🧐

-Immigration.

-He wants em' all deported

-SOMETIMES Berts inner darkness wins out. He wants to forget his past, he wants to throw it right outta his window!... and out of his country....🦅🦅🇺🇸🤠🍟🍔

-This boy has seen some stuff🙇🏻🥺. And he's slowly getting better with his muslophobia. He tries. The lawd is his chemo, slowly trying to vanquish this dark dark part of himself 👿🦹, bit by bit.

-Never underestimate the power of the lord. Amen.😗

(All u christians go hard tho fr, mad respect. And all u muslims out there we buddies, go snatch that Quran and be a boss kachow)

Historian Reiss (Progress? Don't you mean bull-kaka?)

-SOMEBODY CALL THE TRAD WIFES UP IN HERE👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️

-Girly says that the 1950s were PEAK even tho the closest thing to diversity back then was whether or not u liked jazz 🎶🎶😎

-Oh yeah she sure misses them polio days 🤤😻

-But in all seriousness she probs wears those big pantaloon undies😱🥶 like gurl u aint going parachuting thru the clouds just wear normal ones

-She's always googling how to make her child rearing hips bigger🤰🤰

-Not a single pair of pants in HER wardrobe. Not that she'd be able to wear them with her double storage solution underpants. Dresses and skirts ONLY.

-Also they must all be FLOOR length to hide those temptatious ankles🥵🥵😩

-Our modest queen🫡

-She aint trust no supermarket ultra processed shit food either she gets her eggs straight from her own chickens ass🦆 and she grows her own veggies n stuff. Good for her 🤙💪💪

-Although she did once collapse ffrom an iron deficiency cuz she couldn't find her own meat source poor girl

-she hit her head and was unconious for lik 3 days

-Her neighbors saw her undies before they saw her🪂🪂🪂

PIXIS (Mommy, can we put grandpa back into the retirement home now?)

-Bros worse than the braus and springer daddies👹👹👹👹

-He could not only write an entire 500-chapter-50k-words-per-chapter-ten-part book series abt gay frogs🫦, fake moon landings🙀, reptilian politicians🐸, 5G towers, Big pharma, chem trails🥵😷 ect ect ect but he could fact check the entire thing with blurry memes off facebook sent to him by his cousin randy

-He's a fuckin conspricay chad, unstoppable, admirable, irrestistable, alcoholic, crazy, cute🥺, chic, chadilicious bald man👨🏽‍🦲👨🏽‍🦲

-His children shipped him off to a home as soon as he turned 60 and his knee vaguely started hurting

-Hes too powerful

-Pixis does gets invited to special occasions tho cuz his family feel slightly bad

-He be an anti-science, pro magic, potter grade, wizard baby🧙‍♂️. Of course the government control the weather, of course climate change isn't real. 🤷‍♀️

-And he tell everryyyboodddyyy @ the dinner table baby👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

-There are actually 8 wonders of this world. His offspring. How the. frick did they turn out so normal?🤨

-Anyways he managed to manipulate his son in law once and accidently caused a divorce

-Now he only gets invited to christmas

-And somehow he sneaks flasks of whatever into his nursing home illegally seals them out to all his nursing home pals.

-He's got an army of at least 15 of them that he's planning a coup with.🥳😏

-He also owns a MAGAs hat and suffers from mild heartburn because he only eats steak

Floch (LIBERATE THE MEN, WOMEN ARE THOTS)

-Another country boy but hes a skinny country boy who doesn't own a diesel guzzling man truck or get high blood pressure from eating steak 24/7.

-He lives wit his mama and eats the pasta salad she makes him for sunday lunch. 🧑‍🌾

-But yes he's still a freaky lil fanatic👹🧑‍🌾

-Imagine he lives in a world without pimp-dawg Eren Tate-ger. Whose Floch supposed to follow??? huh??? Donald thats who. Donald trump💪🦵.

-And andrew tate of course👨🏽‍🦲

-He's one of them red pillers who can sniff out a womans virginity from a mile away

-"Wats ur body count???"

-and hes very patriotic too:

-TRUMP IS JESUS 2.0, MY MAN THONG HAS AN EAGLE ON IT,CKAWW CAWW CAWWWW SAY YOU CAN SEE BY THE DAWN EARLY LIGHT WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED AND THE TWILIGHTS LAST GLEAMING🦅🦅🏈🏈🇺🇸🇺🇸???!!!!???? DADDY TRUMPS TAN IS NOT FAKE GUYS WTFFF😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🖕🖕🖕

-He's like a freaky little jehovah's witness guys

-he's so alpha dont you think?🐺🐺🐺

A/N: Sorry I think i fell off a bit at the end but I couldn't b bothered. Also yes ik the bertoldth one was a little wild but dont report me babes thank u very much. later losers.

[jellyfitzjelly]

Aradin was straddling Zevlor, his hips bucking wildly, desperately chasing his own release as the hellspawn watched with amusement.

“For someone who loathes us beings with horns you certainly are enjoying my cock up your-“

“Sh-Shut it horns- this means nothin-“ Aradin interrupted, but he was quickly silenced by his own groan, the sound echoing off the walls of the small cave. Aradin was too prideful, too stubborn, too angry at his circumstances to accept he was enjoying this.

Zevlor chuckled darkly, gripping Aradin's hips, guiding him down as his cock disappeared deeper inside his tight little human ass.

Aradin shuddered, moaning, his nails clawing into Zevlor's chest, trying to find leverage, something to push back against as his own cock ached, bouncing between them, begging for release.

“You could always ask me to touch it, to jerk you off, but then I would know that you enjoyed this and you would lose what little control you think you still have... You have no power here, boy.”

Zevlor growled, slamming up, hard and fast. Aradin was so close, so ready. He could feel his balls drawing up, his cock twitching. The pressure in his gut building, “I- I aint no boy- AH- I- I- Ahhh- I aint- nnnh- gonna let you-“

“Let me what? Make you cum? It seems I have already done that multitude of times-“ Zevlor’s tail came between them and wrapped around the base of Aradin’s cock… The appendage squeezing, gliding up and down the poor adventurer’s shaft as he continued to slam up into his tight little ass.

Aradin sobbed, frustrated tears burning his eyes as he threw his head back and cried out. His cock was leaking beads of precum- oozing from the tip and dripping onto Zevlor.

Aradin had cum so many times already and his cock was sensitive, too sensitive. His whole body was sensitive, he couldn't take anymore. But there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“T- To hells w-with ya- a- ahh- I ain’t gon-nah- ha~ ah~ h-ha~ Ahhhh~ H-Haa~ C-Cum- I- I can't- no more- a-ah- ahh- ah~ H-Ha!!” Aradin’s mouth was open wide, panting, saliva dribbling down his chin, his eyes rolled back as the tip of his cock turned a dark shade of red… The veins bulging and twitch before a stream of cum shot out.

The thick milky liquid squirting across Zevlor's chest and over his stomach. The white, creamy mess dripped down the length of his shaft, mixing with the oozing precum.

Zevlor groaned, the sound more animal than man, “good boy~”

Aradin couldn't take it anymore. His ass raw and sore. He could feel his own hole being torn open and yet his cock was still leaking. The worn out adventure fell forward, his face in the crook of the hellspawn's neck. He was panting hard, his eyes heavy and half lidded as he tried to recover…

- 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒦𝒾𝓌𝒾 𝓍𝑜𝓍𝑜

MY GOOOD KIWI I HAVE NO WORDS THIS IS SO GOOD

The way you write them having hate sex....insane about it actually. You get me. Thank you for this honestly you didn't have to, you're so sweet. 😭

I am so bad at saying things BUT GOD I AM KEEPING THIS IN MY FAVES you write so well... i know you usually don't do this pairing but you captured them perfectly....i can only hunger for more and start biting like a feral beast because this is just so good.

Anyway if you loved this you should check out @dark-and-kawaii who does a lot of zevlor stuff!

[zanniscaramouche]

The Devil's Backbone

“You done?” Louis grunts once he has the breath for it. He doesn’t look at himself, can’t risk it even when he feels the tickle of blood rolling down his arm from the scrape. He’s not alone in bloodshed. The iron cuffs have gouged deeply into the other man’s wrists during this idiotic attempt at escape. Louis narrows his eyes at the alpha and considers his options. “Bounty said alive, but it said nothin’ about the state you had to be in otherwise. I ‘aint feeling like dragging your ass across the plains, so don’t make me have my horse shatter your ankles.” Styles gives no implication he’s heard him, but he doesn’t lunge for Louis again either, so that’s answer enough. OR Louis is an out-of-work ranch hand in need of fast cash and Harry is a captured bandit bound for a train that will send him to death-row. When Louis takes on the job of getting Harry on that train, he's got no idea how much his patience and everything he thinks he knows about the world is going to be tested.

Larry - Cowboys & Bandits / ABO - 37k - Complete Written for @1daboficfest

[trtlebuns]

OH YOU BETTER WORK!!

Synopsis: You “accidentally” send your clothes to your boyfriends address and demand a fashion show

Inspired by this video: 💋

Tags: Fluff, wholesome, comedy, and Soap

Johnny (Soap) MacTavish

“babe” you hear Johnny say through the FaceTime call

“Hm?” You replied not looking at the phone while you paint your nails

“What is it” you ask again now looking at your phone since you didn’t hear Johnny reply

“I think you sent something to my address” Johnny said while showing the package in the camera

“Ooohh!!! I was wondering where that went, I thought they forgot to send it and was going to request a refund” You said while looking at the logo on the package

“Do you want me to drive over and give it to you?” Johnny put the package down and looked around for his keys

An idea popped into your head

“no no no” you frantically say as he pauses and waits for you to continue your sentence

“Try them on for me” you say

There was a pregnant pause

“I think those polish fumes are getting to your head darling” Johnny chuckled

“I’m deadass” you said as you put on your most serious face as you stare into the camera as Johnny stares back at you

“Babe I-“ Johnny was about to start before cut off by a

“AHHHH PLEASE PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!! YOU WONT HAVE TO BUY ME LUNCH FOR THE WHOLE WEEK PLEASE I PROMISE I PROMISE JUST THIS ONE THING UGHHH” you screamed into the phone

Johnny knew you were lying about the lunch because he knows how you get when you’re hungry

Johnny rolled his eyes and told you to hush and you did

“Fine WOMAN! I will put the clothes on mkay” he said with a tight lip

You smiled “prop the camera up so I can get a full body image, it’ll help me image it on myself”

Johnny does what you ask and opens up the package

“Dear God woman, where and why did you even buy these clothes??” Johnny said confused and scared as he picked up a few articles of clothing

“I was just browsing and seeing what I might like to see myself in. Now enough questions, get on with the get down okay?” You said as you put yourself in cross cross apple sauce position and watched Johnny changed

As Johnny was about to lift his shirt he caught a glimpse of you looking like a mad woman in the camera

Eyes wide , staring deep into the camera, and breathing deeply

“Back up, damn. Creeping me the fuck out” Johnny said while letting go of his shirt and about to cover his camera

“ ILL CLOSE MY EYES” you said as you saw his hand

Johnny rolled his eyes

“You better” he said and went back to changing

“No promises tho…” you shut your eyes peeking a bit

“Huh???” Johnny said

“They’re closed” you said irritatedly, but nevertheless closed your eyes fully

In the midst of you eyes being closed and rocking your self side to side

You hear a bunch of “my gods” “would this even fit?” “my body would swallow this” “trashy” “ooo a wig” “why is my nipple on display?” “THONG?!”

“Hurry up” you said impatiently as you hear him grumble his complaints

“I’m almost done, hush! You can’t rush art” you hear him smack his lips

“Okay andddddddd done” you hear Johnny say out of breath

You open your eyes

“Good God” You say aloud and cover your mouth to stop the giggles from erupting from your body

“Speechless? I know babe” Johnny said as he bit his lips and rubbed his hands together

Visual: Johnny is wearing a pink crop top with some short shorts , with a white fur coat and a purple bob wig to match

As tears begin to fall down your eyes and the laughter managed to escape your mouth

Johnny gave you a full blown show

I’m talking twirling, strutting towards the camera, twerking a little bit

You even put on beez in the trap by Nicki Minaj to give him the all experience bad bitch vibe

“BITCHES AINT SHIT AND THEY AINT SAYING NOTHIN!!” You yelled out while you got up and starting dancing

“YOU BETTER EAT JOHNNY!! YOU BETTER WORK!!!” You yelled in the camera as Johnny started dancing along with the lyrics

As the music came to an end, you hear the door open from the Johnnys side of the phone

Immediately Johnny is frozen in his spot

“Could you pleas-“ you hear a familiar voice and automatically align it with Simon (Johnnys roommate)

There was a pause in his sentence, as he continues

“Playing a little bit of dress up?”

“Yeah…” Johnny replied

“good, good, It’s good to pretend” you hear Simon say

You cough awkwardly

“You look beautiful” Simon chuckles out

“Oh fuck off and get out” Johnny yelled out and went to close his door and lock it

“Please keep it down Princess” you heard Simon yell behind the door

You’re having a giggling fit as Johnny picked up his phone and looked at you

“Never again” Johnny says

“Okay okay, I promise” you replied with a smile

[domifucker]

how dare they jail him for the crime of hugging

[nicklloydnow]

“The man that shot you died in prison.

In Angola. Yes.

What would you of done if he'd been released?

I dont know. Nothin. There wouldnt be no point to it. There aint no point to it. Not to any of it.

I'm kindly surprised to hear you say that.

You wear out, Ed Tom. All the time you spend tryin to get back what's been took from you there's more goin out the door. After a while you just try and get a tourniquet on it. Your grandad never asked me to sign on as deputy with him. I done that my own self. Hell, I didnt have nothin else to do. Paid about the same as cowboyin. Anyway, you never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from. I was too young for one war and too old for the next one. But I seen what come out of it. You can be patriotic and still believe that some things cost more than what they're worth. Ask them Gold Star mothers what they paid and what they got for it. You always pay too much. Particularly for promises. There aint no such thing as a bargain promise. You'll see. Maybe you done have.

Bell didnt answer.

I always thought when I got older that God would sort of come into my life in some way. He didnt. I dont blame him. If I was him I'd have the same opinion about me that he does.

You dont know what he thinks.

Yes I do.”

[triptychofvoids]

free my boy mouse anon! he aint do nothin'! D:)

not until im done with it! besides, im taking very good care of it!

of course anon, you can have as much of it as you want! i made multiple in case the first one wasnt effective but... hm let me write all your vitals down first... just in case. and then you can have as much as you want!

[texasbama]

ok not to rpf too close to the sun but is anyone talking about the absolute confidence ryan had when he jumped on oliver.. like he’s prob done that before and just knew this man would hold him steady, right?? 🥺

Listen. We have all seen how much Oliver be lifting in the gym. Ryan aint nothin for him😩 he trusted his mans not to drop him 😝

[twopoppies]

Hey Gina, I read The Devil's Backbone recently. It's wild west and abo but Louis isn't the stereotypical omega that we've all read and loathed. It's really well done

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49199401/chapters/124144126

Thank you, honey! LOL! Thank god. There are enough of those. 😂

The Devil’s Backbone by zanni_scaramouche (E, 39K)

“You done?” Louis grunts once he has the breath for it.

He doesn’t look at himself, can’t risk it even when he feels the tickle of blood rolling down his arm from the scrape. He’s not alone in bloodshed. The iron cuffs have gouged deeply into the other man’s wrists during this idiotic attempt at escape. Louis narrows his eyes at the alpha and considers his options.

“Bounty said alive, but it said nothin’ about the state you had to be in otherwise. I ‘aint feeling like dragging your ass across the plains, so don’t make me have my horse shatter your ankles.”

Styles gives no implication he’s heard him, but he doesn’t lunge for Louis again either, so that’s answer enough.

OR

Louis is an out-of-work ranch hand in need of fast cash and Harry is a captured bandit bound for a train that will send him to death-row. When Louis takes on the job of getting Harry on that train, he's got no idea how much his patience and everything he thinks he knows about the world is going to be tested.