#he *is* that video clip of the drunk girl with the puppies

[tatzelwyrm]

Grog really will look at a cute, frightened small person he has never seen before and immediately go "I will lay down my life for you".

[fuwushiguro]

Those Puppy Eyes, It's No Surprise

Day Six: Edging | 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Eren Yeager x f!reader Genre: Smut Notes: I've always known, but doing Kinktober has been a real awakening for how into cheating fics I am 😭😭 Warnings: 18+, consensual sex, fingering, vaginal penetration, cheating, edging, degradation, spanking, creampie. Words: 1.7k

Eren was by your side as you sat on the couch. Your feet rested on his lap and he was stroking your legs. He put some trashy Netflix original on for background noise, neither of you were paying attention. Instead, your noses were buried in each of your phones. He kept reading some quotes from a boring news article he was reading while you were talking in your girly group chat with your friends. You received a twitter link from one, accompanied by the message: ‘omg this is soooo hot 🥵💦’. You weren’t expecting to open the link to a two-and-a-half-minute clip of some amateur porn. You felt your face become red hot as the man in the clip moaned and whispered obscenities to his female partner. You tucked your phone in your pocket and avoided eye contact with Eren, instead deciding this trashy movie was in actual fact a masterpiece.

“What the fuck?” he laughed.

“Hm?” you spoke, feigning innocence. You still didn’t give him the honour of your stare.

“Were you just fucking watching porn ya little freak?”

You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. You tried to explain that a friend sent it to you, and instead, you were gifted with a sarcastic ‘yeah, sure’ as a reply. He pinned your ankle down with one hand, and used his other to get the sole of your foot and began tickling you intensely until you admitted the truth. You had already, and he does believe you. He’s only teasin’…

“Okay Eren stop!” you screamed and kicked.

He released you and went back to running his thumb over your leg. You were staring at the movie playing but nothing was being retained. It was genuinely just, noise. You were thinking about the clip, the caption. It was bothering you. Like, really bothering you. It was a kink you’d discussed with friends before. They all claimed it was amazing, but you didn’t see the appeal.

“Have you ever edged your girlfriend?” you asked Eren. His eyes fluttered shut. It was a look to say he’s tired of this shit. You always ask him the dumbest questions and he’s sick of you. But he’s your best friend. What is he here for if not to annoy the life out of him? But you were curious.

“Sometimes it’s okay to not talk.” he tells you as his eyes open again and his vision finds you.

“Don’t be annoying,” you began. Eren scoffed at that. You of all people telling him to not be annoying? What a laugh. “Have you ever edged Mikasa?” you asked again.

“Not talkin’ about that with you, stop asking about my sex life weirdo.” he informed you. He grabbed his phone and began scrolling again hoping he could tune you out.

“WHAT?!” you yelled a little louder than intended. “Since when don’t you want to brag about your sex life? Just answer the question.” you snickered and demanded. He was being so weird with you.

“Since you’ve just been watching porn in front of me, what, are you horny? You did say it’s been a while since you got any cock.” he jeered. Your eyebrows knitted and you felt a rumble in your throat. He’s supposed to be your best friend and he’s being mean.

“Oh-fucking-kay, dickhead. Was only curious because that’s what the video my friend sent was about. Don’t see the appeal, s’all.” you informed him. He sighed and looked at you, pulling his lips into a tight smile.

“Not with Mikasa, other girls though, yeah.”

It’s true that Eren is quite successful with women. You’re practically a virgin compared to him. But in reality, you’ve fucked around a few times. Even with Eren. Again, he’s your best friend. What are you friends for if you can’t hook up when you’re drunk and lonely? He’s certainly the best you’ve ever had.

“Could you… Show me?” you wonder. He scoffs. He’s disgusted, but he’s smiling. You’re so predictable. He knew you were going to say that. You’ve been friends with Eren for as long as you both can remember. So because of that, because you’ve known him forever, he can read you like a book.

“No?”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve got a fucking girlfriend!” he tells you as he readies himself to stand up and leave. But you’re too quick for him. You crawl over to him and straddle him speedily. He could pick you up easily. But… you’re here now. No use moving you. Of course if he really wanted you to stop he could make you. He could push you away. But it obvious now, as his hands rest on your thighs and he strokes your soft skin with his thumbs, he doesn’t want to do that.

“I won’t tell her. C’mon… You’re my best friend. Think of it as a sex ed lesson.” you tell him. His eyes squint. He’s searching your expression and he can’t help but smirk at that cheeky smile on your face. Oh, you’re good. You’re fucking good.

“If I say yes… IF, you’re not allowed to go gettin’ feelings for me. Yeah? It’s just sex.” he tells you. His one condition on doing this. His poor girlfriend, he didn’t take much convincing. Poor Mikasa indeed.

“Don’t flatter yourself Eren, we’re just friends. No feelings here.”

“Alright then.” he responds. He wraps his arms around your torso to pull you down to him. You begin to kiss and rut your cunt against his jean clad crotch. “Take those little shorts off f’me.” he instructs. You do as you’re told as he unbuttons his jeans. Even soft he has an impressive size. It’s been a while since you’ve fucked him. Feeling his entire length inside of you is dizzying. You return to the sofa and lie on your back for him. He spits into your cunt and teases your clit.

“Oh fuuuuuck Eren. Those fucking fingers,” you cry out.

“Knew you’d get feelings for me when you remembered how good I am at owning this pussy.” he mocks you. You choke out a laugh and then beginning shuddering and moaning from the contact.

“’m not getting feelings! J-Just, just friends. Just fucking friends.” you breathe raggedly. You’re completely lost in his touch.

“Yeah baby, that’s right. Just fucking friends. Friends who fuck.” he mutters as he increases the pace he rubs your clit. You squirm around on the couch, desperate for your release.

It’s close. It’s so fucking close you can feel it. You’re practically screaming Eren’s name. Telling him how good he is. How perfect he is. How incredible his perfect fingers feel playing with you like this. You confess that you’re about to lose it. You’re about to cum for him.

“’m cumming—!” and he stops. “Eren! Please!”

“Aw, y’wanna cum for me now? You really gonna sit there and act like you didn’t want me to show you what edging is?” he belittled you. You sniffed a little sob. You knew you wouldn’t like edging. Why did you let that stupid fucking video your friend sent get the better of you?

“I wanna cum for you Eren, please…” you whimper. You hope those big trusting eyes of yours will get to him. They almost always help you get what you want. “Will you fuck me?” you add. The twitch of his cock doesn’t go unseen.

“Yeah I’ll fuck you babe,” he speaks sinisterly. “Get on your hands and knees.”

Cries of his name came out in broken, needy whines. He fucked into you so harshly. It was agonising. To feel him constantly slam against your g-spot was like opening a Christmas present without tearing the wrapping paper. Tears streamed down your face. He’d been fucking you like this for thirty minutes. And when he felt you clench, he’d stop. He kept fucking stopping.

“I need it!! Eren, I really fucking need it!”

“You wanted this so don’t fucking forget it. And something else about edging is that I can punish you if you cum without my permission.” he hissed as his palm met the fat of your ass. You groaned as he picked up the pace once more.

Your face was sodden with tears. Maybe if you didn’t make so much noise and fuss you could cum quietly without him knowing. He knew you were plotting when you weren’t complaining for more than five seconds. Too fucking quiet for him.

“Don’t you even think about cumming,” he growled. “If you fucking cum right now it’ll be the last time you do.” he tells you.

Your face is resting on the couch cushion seats as he rams into your tired hole. There are damp patches in the material of the couch from where you’ve cried into them. You can’t take it anymore. You can’t take him. The perfect graze inside, the sweet delicate area deep in your walls is being constantly hit by his fat cock head. You’re gushing out slick for him. He thinks it’s so cute. The way your pussy squelches and makes the prettiest noises for him as your gorgeous arousal drips onto the floor below.

“Eren pleeeeaaaase! I can’t take it anymore! Fuck, please please please!” you beg. The mascara you’d been wearing is smeared down your soaking cheeks. He thinks you look like a perfect little whore. Is it right for him to think his sweet best friend is a dirty dirty whore? “J-Just let me, just let me! Just let me Eren I’ve been so good f’you. Lemme cum!” it was a mistake to ask for Eren’s help. He’s fucking sadistic. His hand reached around you and spread your lips apart, he wanted to toy with your pretty pearl more. You’re unravelling. He’s making himself the undoing of you.

“If you cum before I say I’m never gonna help you again, never. Y’hear? I’ll never fuck you again.”

And you try to hold on, you do. But it’s over before he even finishes his sentence. The wire snaps and you’re flooding yourself all around him. He spanks you as your gummy walls suck him in. He didn’t want to cum inside. He was gonna pull out and spray your back. He’d already crossed the cheating line, but for some reason Eren felt that cumming inside was the official betrayal.

“Eren I’m sor—”

“Save it.” he tells you. Slapping your rear one last time. “Need to think of a way to punish this cunt s’more.”

© 2021 fuwushiguro

adding tags in a reblog 🖤 tag list form in navi if you're interested!

[pockyxx]

“ christmas day ”

iwaizumi x fem! reader

genre: domestic fluff. (dad! iwa, uncle issei + uncle takahiro, mentions of uncle toru)

the sun poured into your bedroom, comfy blankets draped over you and your husband’s intertwined bodies. it was christmas morning and you knew that you children would come storming in any moment.

as expected, tiny foot steps pattered along the hardwood floors. you smiled to yourself pretending to still be asleep while you felt the weight of the bed shift just the tiniest bit.

“mommy wake up it’s christmas!” your youngest, misa shook you lightly as you acted as if you just woke up.

“what really it is?” you shook your husband, “hajime did you know it was christmas?!” your daughter giggled as hajime woke up himself.

he rubbed his tired eyes before getting a look at his two girls. he gave an equally shocked expression, causing more light hearted giggles to erupt from misa.

“does hiroki know?” he asked, groggy morning voice sounding in the quiet room. this caused a laugh to come from the hallway. peeking head through the door frame, hiroki your oldest child tried to over his mouth with his hands.

hiroki looked more like iwaizumi than you, in face the spitting image of him when he was young. he was two years older than misa who was 4.

“i tried to tell misa not to wake you but she didn’t listen.” he inched closer to the bed. hajime laughed, gesturing him to come to the bed along with misa.

as both your kids sat in between both of you, hajime jumped up, tickiling their bellies and roaring like godzilla.

from the squeals and giggles from your children, you couldn’t help but close your eyes and enjoy the sound of their voices.

you pulled misa closer to you, “hey bug did santa come?” her eyes widened with a child like glee before she grabbed her brothers arm, dragging him out while exclaiming ‘we need to see if he ate our cookies!’

hajime looked over at you with a wide smile, pressing a long passionate kiss onto your lips. as he pulled back he’d transferred his smile onto you.

“let’s go, the kids are waiting.” you both got up, the morning routine had been put aside for the day. hajime looked just excited as your kids, scrambling to get his cellphone ready for pictures.

both of you walked down the hall walking in on misa and hiroki gasping at the missing cookies and half drunk mug of milk.

misa ran up to hajime, pulling on the brim of his sweater, “daddy, daddy santa ate our cookies!” she gave a toothy smile.

“and he drank our milk!” hiroki added, running over to you. you beamed down at the two children who eagerly rushed to their presents under the tree.

“alright bug.” hajime looked at misa, then to hiroki, “bubs, which gifts do you guys want to open first?” he let the kids scan over the gifts, both picking out ones with similar wrapping.

“good choice,” you sat down at the couch, “those are both from uncle toru, he sent them from argentina.” it was clear by her expression misa was thinking, ‘where’s argentina?’

nonetheless both of your precious children began unwrapping and tearing at the boxes. misa shot up at her gift, holding it up in praise.

“look what uncle toru got me!” she waved up a small white puppy stuffed animal with a small purple colour and a brown spot in the shape of a heart.

she hugged it with all her might while hiroki pulled out his own gift, his eyes wide in marvel.

“uncle toru got me a dinosaur kit!” both kids were equally energetic and it was only the first present. hajime smiled as he video tapped, asking “alright what do we say to uncle toru?”

both chimed in with thank yous as hajime stopped recording and sent the video to his friend.

the morning was filled with opening presents and slowly sipping coffee as the children had already started playing with their toys and trinkets.

hajime sat next to you in the living room as misa played pretend with her new puppy and hiroki was trying to set the new volleyball given to him that year. your husband nudged you a little, slipping his hand in yours and bringing it up for a kiss.

“merry christmas darling.” he winked at you as you laughed, looking at the time, getting up to put the christmas turkey into the over. in the kitchen you could hear the hushed voices of your kids along with their father.

you walked back into the room to see what they were up to and all of them straightened their backs, hiroki and misa holding something behind their backs.

“go on give mommy her gift.” hajime placed his hand on hiroki’s back and he stepped forward, pulling out a box.

“oh, i made a card too mommy!” the card in question was mostly just a picture that misa drew herself of your small family. of course there was hajime, standing tall with exaggerated spiked hair, with you right next to him, a small heart connecting both of you. then misa had drawn both herself and her brother holding ice cream cones, why? who knew but it was adorable.

“thank you so much babies! should i open the gift now?” both kids nodded vigorously as you shot a cheeky look to hajime. you sat down on the couch, hiroki wiggling in on your left and misa to your right.

“hm, i wonder what it could be...” you played along, slowly unraveling the ribbon keeping the box together. gasping when you saw it, you looked up at your family. “this is so pretty.”

“the kids helped me pick it out.” hajime rubbed the back of his neck as you picked up the small bracelet, “will you help me put it on?”

misa quickly ran over to your aid and snapped on the bracelet. you pecked her cheek and pulled hiroki in as well and planted a kiss on his cheek, to which he crinkled his nouse. “you too.” you smiled up at your husband who leaned down and kissed you.

both you children gagged slightly in a joking manner while you and hajime laughed at their expressions. you looked at the time.

“now you two need to go clean your room and get dressed— uncle issei and uncle takahiro are coming over for dinner.”

—

“alright, room check bug!” hajime called out before entering his daughters room. he held his fingers to his chin like he was deep in thought.

“hmm... nice work bug.” he swooped down rubbed her head causing her to jump.

“daddy your gonna ruin my hair!” she pouted, hajime took her up into his arms and laughed,

“you really are you mother’s daughter. let’s go see if your brother did just a good of a job.” he walked with misa in his grasp as he pushed open hiroki’s door.

the boy sat in front of his mirror, trying to properly button up his dress shirt. hajime placed misa down, telling her to go help you set the table.

“dad can you help me?” he frowned, flapping his arms down after failing to fix his shirt. hajime chuckeled, kneeling down.

“‘course bubs.” he smiled, carefully realigning the buttons so hiroki’s shirt would be even. hajime put his hands on his son’s shoulders, smiling profusely before giving him the same pat on the head that he gave his daughter.

the doorbell rang and hiroki’s head shot up, “uncle issei and uncle hiro are here!” he rushed out of his room and to the door.

hajime wasn’t too far behind as he met you and the children at the door. you fixed a clip in misa’s hair before opening the door.

mattsun and makki stood at the door, carrying gifts for the children and wine for the adults.

“for you two.” mattsun bent down and passed the two same size boxes as makki leaned forward, a nice bottle of wine, “and for the mr and mrs.” he handed you the bottle as the two stepped in and stood off both their coats and winter boots.

“how are the two of you?” mattsun asked, hands on his hips, watching the children shake the gifts trying to figure out what was inside.

“we’re doing good, come come, dinners already ready.” you guestured bringing everyone to the dinning table where the meal was spread out like you said.

“hope the drive up wasn’t too bad.” hajime mentioned, sitting down across from his high school friends. they shook their head.

misa ran to mattsun’s side, hiroki not too far behind, “can we open the gifts now?!” they were too hyper. mattsun looked at you two for approval and you nodded.

“go ‘head.” he smiled as the adults resumed their chit chat. hajime shook his head slightly as he saw his kids rip more wrapping paper from the corner of his eyes.

“you guys really didn’t have to, it’s bad enough oikawa spoils them all the way overseas.” they all laugh at the comment.

“mommy look we got remote control cars!” misa showed you, holding a red racer while hiroki held a blue one.

“don’t forget to say thank you.” hajime reminded them as they scurried to their uncles, bowing in thanks. it was almost like hajime could read their minds as he continued, “you two can race them after dinner.”

both pouted but listened to their dad nonetheless and silently the food was passed around. a quick ‘thank you for the food’ and everyone had dug in. it was a saying that the food was tasty is no one talked over the meal.

in this case, it was true. a few snickering comments and ‘hiroki use your napkin’ later everyone was stuffed.

“y/n the food was was..” hanamaki mimicked a chefs kiss before falling back in the chair. issei agreed, pouring himself another glass of wine.

you shook your head, thanking them for them for the compliment while misa tugged on hajime’s sleeve.

“daddy, can me ‘n hiroki race our cars now?” he nodded, “of course bug, just make sure not to break anything.” and like that they rushed off to give the toys a whirl.

mattsun and makki talked about how their jobs where going or in makki’s case, how the job search was going. bringing up how much the kids had grown since the last time they saw them, despite it not being that long. you laughed as they retold embarrassing stories from highschool. overall, the night was fun.

by 10:30 both misa and hiroki had gotten a bit bored of racing, finding their way back to the dinner table.

misa sat in hajime’s lap, tiredly flipping through pages of ‘volleyball monthly’ but mostly to just observe the picutres since she’d only just started learning to read.

“hey isn’t that uncle toru?” she asked, pointing to a picture, everyone laughed and nodded as hajime explained how he was playing for argentina and how they’d made it past the qualifiers for the olympics.

misa woke up slightly, “daddy will you teach me to play volleyball too?” it was in that moment that you could swear you saw tears in hajime’s eyes as he nodded in agreement.

his friends all smiled, seeing how truly soft iwaizumi had become. they’d always known him as a rough-around-the-edges sorta guy, who was a strict vice captain. now, he was just a strict coach but he was also a family man. they mentally applauded his duality.

the conversation slowly began to die down, hiroki had started to read a book he got, dismissing himself for bed while misa had managed to fall asleep on hajime’s lap.

“do you want me to take her up?” you offered but your husband shook his head, carefully getting up and carrying misa to her room.

“iwaizumi is a good dad.” matsukawa stated, leaning forward in his chair with a smile. you agreed, telling them all about it.

“i’m not surprised he’s managed to get them both into volleyball.” takahiro laughed as well.

“yup, hiroki just started volleyball lessons and misa’s still a bit too young but i’m sure hajime will keep that promise and teach her when she’s old enough.” you placed one hand over your other, feeling the wedding ring you adorned. “he really is a great father, just something else.”

while up in misa’s room, hajime has placed the 4 year old under the covers, placing her head gently on her pillow. he smiled, cautiously taking out her hair pins, scared they were going to hurt her if she turned over.

she had subconsciously grabbed ahold of the stuffed animal oikawa had gotten her and he smiled. hajime placed a kiss on her forehead, “‘night bug.” he whispered, too quiet to wake her as he turned on her nightlight and left the room.

his next stop was hiroki’s room, and not surprisingly he was already in his pajamas, under the covers. with his book in hand, he smiled when he saw his dad.

hajime sat on his bed, peeing at the book. “how’s the reading coming bubs?” he asked while hiroki yawned slightly.”

“it’s good dad, they’re about to go on a quest to stop the demon king.” he laid his head down on the pillow. hajime laughed, “i’m glad you’re enjoying it but it’s bed time now.”

hiroki nodded, placing his book mark where he left off, sliding it onto his nightstand. hajime couldn’t stop smiling.

“goodnight bubs, sleep tight.” he chuckeled, placing a kiss onto hiroki’s forehead, the boy’s eyes fluttering shut.

“goodnight dad, say goodnight to mommy too.” he turned on his side.

“will do.” he nodded, turning off the lights and making his way back to the dinning table.

once issei and takahiro had taken their leave, wishing them all the best you and your husband could finally unwind.

hajime’s kissed your shoulder playfully, smiling into you skin as you changed into pyjamas. you turned around, hugging him with all the energy that was left in you.

“your so good to us.” he said into you ear and you laughed.

“speak for yourself, haji.” you kissed him again, “you’re an exceptional dad.” he blushed at the comment, tugging you to bed and under the cover.

you found yourself in your usual spot, head on hajime’s chest with his large arms stayed snaked around you.

kissed were thrown back and forth, small conversation about how you two would need to burn off all the food that you ate today.

hajime lookedbdown and thought you were sleeping, pressing a kiss to your temple, you let out a small confession. “i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

you peaked your eyes open and his cheeks reddened realizing that you heard him.

“i don’t know either but i’m glad we have each other.” you laughed, pressing your ear to his heart beat.

“yeah, y/n, i love you so much.” he kissed you before slowly closing his eyes.

“i love you too.” and like that you two fell asleep together after celebrating another christmas with your beautiful children.

[illneverrecover]

call you mine (M) | changkyun

➛pairing: Im Changkyun (I.M.) x reader ➛genre: friends with benefits!AU,  non Idol!AU, angst, smut, fluff. ➛word count: 2,741 ➛rating: M ➛warnings: idk this is truly some sweet soft shit, mentions of alcohol, friends with benefits, standing sex, slight rough sex, biting/marking because clearly I have a kink, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of Mingi!!, lots of kissing, soft clown Chaingang truly.  ➛summary: Changkyun knew he ruined your friends with benefits arrangement when he let his feelings be known, and now you’ve left him on read for weeks. So he does the only thing he can to stay sane - he religiously watches your Instagram stories. ➛notes: Another first for me - my first Monsta X fic! I’ve played around with writing Changkyun for a while now, mostly because I live to torture @taetaesbaebaepsae​ (which she deserves from all the PAINFUL and RUDE Baekhyun shit she’s written for me). However, she decided to actively commission her own demise, because she stays not listening to Namjoon and refuses to love herself. I’m glad I finally got a chance to take a stab at writing her ult, and I hope I did him justice! Enjoy your tomfoolery, Kristin! 💖 ➛song: Call You Mine -  The Chainsmokers & Bebe Rexha | Horizon - I.M. & Elhae

It’s pathetic, he knows.

The way he can’t stop watching, the way he seeks your face out in an app full of millions of others. The way he can’t get you out of his bed, his head, his thoughts.

He fucked up, scared you off, and now he’s left with the aftermath of his own stupidity. Watching you through a screen to fight the withdrawals off, to keep his heart beating.

Changkyun knows you would laugh at him if you saw what he was doing. 

Watching your Instagram stories is the only reason he’s heard you laugh in over two weeks, the only way he’s been able to see your eyes light up, your lips curve into a salacious grin. Things he fucking missed, thought he would have plenty of time to indulge in - until he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and ruined it.

He had taken you back to his place after a few shots of whisky at the dingy local bar, hands and mouth unable to leave your skin - just like the hundreds of times before. It had been four months since you had started this friends with benefits relationship, and despite having freedom to see whomever he wanted, Changkyun found himself only starving for you. So hungry that he couldn’t stand another moment in that place, watching you share your smile with anyone other than him. So he had tugged you close, nipped at your ear, told you that you were so damn beautiful that he couldn’t stand there another minute without you coming undone around him. 

You had smirked, slid your hand down the front of his pants, grabbing his cock like you owned it, purring out the words “prove it” before following him outside, just like the hundreds of times before.

Pressed up against his wall, his pelvis flush with yours, Changkyun whispered filth in your ears as he ground up against you, swallowing your moans in greedy kisses. Desperate fingers had pulled at your top, freeing your breasts for him to worship as he worked your skirt up around your waist, thrusting his clothed length against your core until you were whining.

Changkyun always promised to take his time with you, to work you over until you were drunk on his touch and pleading for more - but you never let him, always knowing the right thing to say to get his gaze to go dark and lust to turn frantic, to unzip his jeans and press inside your dripping cunt right there in the hallway. 

Just like the hundreds of times before.

You had come around him, digging your nails in his back so hard it left marks, made him growl your name against your collarbone as his thrusts picked up speed to fuck you through the high. You urge him on in the way only you can manage, begging for his release, whispering how much you want his come deep in your cunt. Biting down against the skin, he had spilled inside you with a final groan, hips twitching as he pumped you full of him, forehead resting against your shoulder.

Instead of pulling away immediately, Changkyun remained collapsed against you, breathing heavy. You had smacked at his shoulder, but he just chuckled, arms adjusting to continue a firm hold of your legs as he stayed inside of you, trapping you against his body and the wall.

“What are you doing, Kyun?” scoffing, you had grasped his jaw, forcing him to look at you. “I let you fuck me dirty against the wall without even demanding you buy me food after. Least you can do is let me get cleaned up.”

He had gazed up at you then, eyes piercing as they looked through you, and your heart clenched tightly in your chest. 

He knew he shouldn’t say it. Knew it would scare you off. And yet….

“I would, you know.” Swallowing thickly, his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Take you to go get food. If you - I mean, if you wanted. If you’d let me.” 

It was like he could see the carefully crafted defenses go up, the pain etching your brow and making your eyes go cold. Anxiety flooded his veins as you wiggled out of his grasp, sliding your clothes back into place as you moved towards his bathroom.

“You don’t mean that,” you murmured, faking a smile. “You know what this is, Kyun.”

“I do mean that!” He knew he sounded too eager, too pitiful, but he couldn’t stop himself. “I’d take you out to dinner. Or,” following you, he paused in the doorway, watching you appraise yourself in the mirror. “We could just get take-out and go somewhere private, drive to a park, bring a blanket and some booze, eat somewhere no one would know or bother us.” 

Your answering laugh had sounded wrong, like it had cost you something - like it was the last thing you had wanted to do. 

“Like a picnic? Changkyun, you’re saying you want to take me on a picnic? Like a proper date?”

Stuttering, he tried to explain himself, but you had cut him off with a single wave. 

“Listen, we both know I’m not that kind of girl, and you don’t want me to be.” Leaning forward, you had pressed a kiss against his mouth, your eyes somber when you had pulled away, moved towards the door. 

“What if I do?” His voice broke, wanting to reach out but his arms remaining stiff at his sides. “What if I want you to be that kind of girl, with me?”

Tears stung your eyes, your stomach sinking like you had been punched. You couldn’t do this, couldn’t handle the inevitable disappointment that would come when you got your hopes up.

“I’ll see you around,” you threw over your shoulder before shutting the door, and shutting him out. 

Just like the hundreds of times before.

It had been two weeks now since he last saw you in person. It wasn’t for lack of trying; texting you at all hours had proven fruitless, even when he tried to send the usual ‘you up’ message like he didn’t just lay his heart out on the line. You responded airily, non committal, and he knew what you were doing. 

You were trying to let him down easy.

So here he was, phone glued to his hand as he scrolled through to find your picture, clicking on it to see if there was any update. You didn’t post a bunch in your feed, but you had a tendency to update your stories often - filling them with silly memes and cute selfies, little videos of you going about your day. Cuddling with your cat, attempting to cook something for lunch. His favorite was when you would do tarot readings for your followers; the way your face would turn serious as you read the cards, passionate fire in your eyes as you helped deliver the message to its owner. 

Seeing you that excited and genuine did something to him, made his chest feel like it was going to explode.

He knows you can tell that he’s watching, can see the icon of his profile showing up at the bottom of the video under “seen by.” He can only imagine what you’re thinking when you see it - that he’s a loser, this friend with benefits who turned lovesick puppy, but he can’t make himself care. It’s the only way he feels close, can pretend you’re still in his life.

He never thought that he would need you, now all he wants is to see you - for you to answer him, to come back to him. 

Changkyun still sends texts, unable to stop his fingers from reaching out, despite knowing you’ll shut him down. He calls sometimes too, late at night when his blood is more whisky than plasma, though you never answer those. Instead he listens to your voicemail, eyes closed to stop the world from spinning, letting your voice lull him to sleep. 

He convinces himself he’s fine with this arrangement, that things would be alright. He can just miss you from afar, observe you live your life through the pixels of a screen. That watching your stories is enough for him, will keep him afloat.

Until he sees you with someone else.

It was another Friday night he was spending alone, half drunk and on his phone, looking for your picture. Taking a deep breath, he had felt his heart stop when he saw the rainbow ring adorning your profile photo, meaning you had updated your story. Sighing, he tapped it, hoping that it would be a few videos so he could pretend for just a moment that he was beside you instead of wasting space on his bed.

The first clip was a selfie, your heavily lidded eyes staring seductively at the camera through your lashes, making his pulse jump and pants tighten. The caption “gonna get drunk tonight!” scrolled across the image, right below the pout of your lips. The next was a small video of you making a drink, giggling about the mixture of tequila and soju you were tossing in your cup, whispering to the camera how it was going to get you ‘all the way fucked up’. But it was the third clip that had his chest heaving, his lungs forgetting how to work.

You were walking out your door, a few people cluttering your front porch as you asked if anyone had a light. Some tall red headed kid - Changkyun refused to acknowledge him as anything more than that - had shouted out, and you squealed as you ran up to him, sliding directly onto his knee before switching the camera into selfie mode to capture the two of you. The next clip was you in his lap, one of your delicate hands sliding through his hair as he gave you a big dopey grin, a cigarette perched on your lips as you cooed at him and told him just how cute he was.

Fuck. He knew that look of yours, knew those moves. Knew exactly what you were doing, what you were hoping to do with that fucking Mingi kid, and he couldn’t stand it, not anymore.

Taking a few deep pulls directly from the liquor bottle, his fingers flew over the keys of his phone, sending you text after text -  all of which were ignored. He knew calling would be pointless, that you would rather light yourself on fire than answer your phone - especially at a party - and he felt desperation creep up his throat, choking him.

Changkyun couldn’t let this happen. Couldn’t let you just forget about him.

Clicking back onto Instagram, he started sending you responses to the story video as he got dressed, throwing on the nearest pair of jeans and sliding on his boots.

<What are you doing? Why won’t you answer my texts? I fucking miss you.>

<And not just fucking you. I miss you. I miss us. If you want me to stay for the rest of my life, I will. You already got me.>

<Answer me, Y/N. Or I’m going to come over, see if you can ignore me to my face>

<Baby?>

<I’m on my way. Don’t take that kid to your bed.>

It took painfully long for the Lyft to show up, and he gritted his teeth the whole route there, knee bouncing to stop himself from demanding the driver to go faster, to just hurry the fuck up and get to you. 

When the car had pulled into your neighborhood, he tried to send another message, instead clicking a video. Too frustrated to change it back, he lets it record, his voice low and pained. 

“I’m on my way, please let me in.” 

You were alone on the deck when your phone started vibrating, the ding of an Instagram direct message making you click the app, eyes widening in surprise when you saw the number of notifications. 

Changkyun, all from him.

Awestruck, you scrolled through every line, your heart throbbing with each word he had written. 

You didn’t think he cared, not like that. Sure, he missed the sex, but that’s what you expected. That’s what all of them wanted when they sent you late night texts, when they called your phone at three in the morning. Empty promises and broken vows were what kept you company in the dark, when they’d predictably leave you alone with an ache between your legs and in your chest.  None of them really wanted you, cared about you. After a few weeks of ghosting, they’d all disappear into thin air like expected, and your heart would harden just a bit more.

But now…

Another chime pulls you from your thoughts, eyes flicking back to the light of your phone. Instead of another direct message, it’s a notification that Changkyun had updated his story for the first time in months. 

Shaking fingers slide against the screen, your vision blurring as you take in the shadowed back seat of another person’s car, the only light  neon pink from the sign of the Lyft drivers decal. For a moment, all you can hear is the quiet chattering of a distant radio, of someone breathing heavily. 

And then his voice croaking over the speaker, raspy with need. 

“I’m on my way, please let me in.”

The video fades just as a car pulls up to your curb, a flurry of movement as Changkyun climbs out, stumbles towards you. He all but collapses into your arms, his breath dripping with liquor, eyes reddened but burning fiercely.  

“Y/N,” he mumbles, hands coming to cup your face, thumb dragging against the smooth skin of your cheek. “I want to take you on a picnic.” 

You laugh, though it comes out more like a sob. “What? What are you talking about? Did you call a Lyft and come all the way across town to tell me that, you clown?”

His finger taps against your lips once, twice. “Shh. Just let me-” he sighs, stomping a foot. “Let me talk.” 

He waits until you nod before continuing, words surging from his mouth as if he couldn’t hold back a second longer. 

“I came all the way here because I want to take you on a picnic. I want to buy you food and take you on cute little dates and do cheesy things that make you smile at me like you are right now,” he grins, pulling you until your chest rests against his own. “I’m here because I couldn’t stand you ignoring me anymore. I meant everything I said - that I miss you, that I want to be with you, if you’ll give me the chance. I want to call you mine.”

Pressing his forehead against yours, his eyes fall shut, his voice fervent and barely more than a whisper. 

“I love you, Y/N.”

Tears brim your eyes, and you fight every old wound that tells you to shove him away, to call him a liar. Instead you allow yourself to follow your gut, your heart for what feels like the first time, leaning back to give him a watery smile in return. 

“I love you too, Changkyun.” 

His mouth immediately lands on yours, tongue eagerly tracing the seam of your lips until it’s slipping inside, tasting every inch of you, ravenous and unsatisfied until your knees are shaking. He’s walking you backwards towards the door, tugging at your clothes, and you giggle at his impatience.

Pulling away, you gasp for air, palm pressing against his shoulder to hold him back for a moment. “But listen, if I give you a chance, that means you have to stop stalking my Instagram, you creep. And don’t try to deny it, I see you all over my stories, lurking around.” 

He chuckles then, nipping at your bottom lip as his eyes darken. “Please, don’t act like you don’t love the attention,” 

Pushing the door open, he guides you inside, mouth working over your neck, arms wrapped around your waist until your back is flattened against the wall. 

“Plus, there’s no need, now that I got you,” he confesses, his nose swiping against yours gently before he captures your lips between his own, hitching your legs to drape around his waist as he grinds against you, humming words of praise.

Just like the hundreds of times before, but now as his.

[shannygoatgruff]

00:00:13

Genre: Social responsibility

Pairing: Alex Høgh Andersen/OC

Warning: Language, racial slur, prejudice, mention of the YouTube video

Rating: M+18

Header by: @flowers-in-your-hayr​

For: @xbellaxcarolinax​ - thanks for lending me an ear and encouraging me to continue writing this story

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on something I saw that evoked a feeling in me. I don’t know Alex or that guy in the video. I don’t own the rights to use him or anything else in my story. I’m just going off something out there on the internet that I wish wasn’t ever there for me to have to write a story about in the first place.

A/N:  So, I don’t know if this is the right time to post this story or not, but it’s been weighing heavily on my heart for some time now. During one of my many Alex rabbit hole stalking internet searches, I came across this YouTube video of him from a few YEARS ago that made me feel a certain kind of way.  Admittedly, I went through a ton of different emotions.  I made a bunch of excuses for him.  I tried to justify him being drunk, young, being from a different country...not understanding his actions.  As a black woman, I was saddened, and a little heartbroken, but I truly don’t think there was any malice behind it.  I think it was just poor judgment on his part. But, in the end, I came up with, he’s a grown man and as a public figure he needs to be more responsible.  

I am in no way trying to sway anyone’s opinion of him, turn you against him, make you seek the video out or anything else.  I just needed to speak MY truth and get my feelings out about the situation. I’ve been the black girl in too many interracial relationships and friendships with people that just don’t get it. I am in no way trying to offend anyone - these are just my feelings.  I just needed an avenue to speak out.  

Anyway, it didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted it, mainly because I was in my feelings, but I think it’s close enough.      

I’m still an Alex fan and he could get it, at ANY moment...just say the words, Boo!  😍

I invite your comments, thoughts, and feelings...if you just wanna talk, feel free to hit me up.  I’m always open to a good discussion.

With that, 

Be easy!

Thirteen seconds…Nia Howard could do a lot in 13 seconds.  For almost 10 minutes, she had been timing herself to see exactly what types of tasks she could perform in that amount of time.  

In 13 seconds Nia could lace her brand new blue and white checked Chuck Taylor Converse tennis shoe.  She was careful to lace the shoe so the strings were only threaded on the outside of the eye-loops, creating one thick solid line across the bridge, hiding the string feeding into the next eye-loop inside the shoe, just like she liked them. This was a trick she learned in Mrs. Hamilton’s 7th grade Math class, and she had been lacing her shoes that way ever since. 

13 seconds was all it took for her to guzzle 10 ounces of the Dasani water bottle sitting on her desk. She probably could have slammed more of the water down her throat, but she wasn’t that thirsty to begin with. Had she been parched, or had it been something that she wanted to drink, she was sure she could have gotten more than 10 ounces down in that amount of time. 

Nia also discovered that she could refill the liquid nicotine and change the filter in her vape, as long as everything was laid out in front of her, in 13 seconds. She was also able to screw the tank back together, but not put the tank back on the battery base before the timer went off.  That part still took her an additional 3 seconds.  Hmm. 

In 13 seconds, she was able to remove the back of the picture frame, take out the photo, and run her thumb over the glossy paper.  It took less than that amount of time for all of the emotions of the day to come flooding back to her as she stared at their first family photo. 

It had snowed at least a foot that day.  But there they were, outside sitting in all of that powder, freezing. Nia, her boyfriend, Alex, and their then 8-week-old Siberian husky, Vlad.  He thought it would be artistic.  She thought it would be cold.  Vlad thought it was fun, running around in snow deeper than he was tall.  But they were still smiling; they were happy.  They were in love.  

Alex was wearing his favorite navy blue The North Face snowsuit, that he had zipped up to his chin. You could only see the side of his pale face, with his cold red cheek, plump pink lips, and those dark lashes covering his incredible blue eyes.  The rest of him was so bundled up, he looked like the abominable snowman.  He loved the cold and the snow.  Growing up here, these snowy days in Denmark were nothing to him.  Nia, however, wasn’t quite as used to it.  It snowed on the East Coast of the US, but not like it did in Denmark.  Her pink and white snowsuit was more for fashion than warmth.  Sitting in the snow in between Alex’s legs, she was freezing and couldn’t wait for them to finish taking pictures.  

However, his arms were warm around her, and though his lips were cold against the side of her face, she could feel his warm breath tickle her ear as he laughed and told her how much he loved her.  She had leaned against his chest and noted how well her pink and white outfit matched his blue one.  Only her dark brown skin made a contrast against the snow and Alex’s complexion, but she still looked as if she belonged.  

She sat with her feet flat on the ground, knees drawn toward her chest bringing their brown and white puppy, the perfect mix between their two tones, closer to the two of them.  While her head leaned into Alex’s kiss, her eyes concentrated on little Vlad in her lap. She had him turned so the camera could capture his one blue eye and one brown eye, while she gently caressed their fur baby, drawing him in for a kiss on his soft, furry head.  

Could they be any cuter?  They were the perfect family.  They were a good looking couple with a good looking dog.  

Thinking about the day that photo was taken quickly made her mind drift back to the first time Alex told her he loved her. She could vividly remember how he grabbed her face and leaned in for that kiss.  The way he pressed his lips to hers, and how it set off every nerve in her body.  She remembered the way her heart fluttered and how she thought she was going to float right out of her skin. But when he pulled away and looked at her with those blue eyes, he grounded her and brought her right back to the spot where he was. When his eyes shifted between hers, desperately searching for some hint that she felt the same, she knew from that moment that he was the one for her.  That entire encounter, the weightlessness, grounding, feeling his eyes look through her and hearing his heart speak her name, couldn’t have taken more than 13 seconds. She was sure it happened all at the same time.

With everything she timed, 13 seconds seemed like it passed in the blink of an eye.  It was manageable if she had a task to complete, but by no means was it a significant amount of time.  So why did it feel like an eternity, each time she watched that damn video clip?  The more she watched it, the longer it became.  That damn 13-second video clip brought out of her a new set of emotions each time she viewed it.

At first, it was shocking.  She couldn’t register anything she saw because she was too surprised at what she saw. The only thing she could process was the feeling of, Huh? 

So, she watched it again, and this time she did so with a goofy smirk on her face. The smirk was the smirk of embarrassment. Embarrassment for her, for him, for them... for not knowing how to feel.  

She had to sit with it for a few minutes before she could watch it a third time. Instead of just jumping right into again, she decided to go back to the original email and reread the message.  She had been so put off by the video that she forgot what it was that she was being asked to do about it.

When she clicked back on the email from her office and skimmed the contents she could only shake her head. Did they actually expect her to handle this?   Really?  She was a publicist.  His publicist, but come on.  This was asking a bit much, no?  There were 14 other people in that damn firm that could have handled this, even if Alex was her client.  He was still a client of the fucking firm. What was she supposed to do?

Without thinking, she put her thumb to her mouth and started biting the cuticle around her new French manicure.  She had been doing so well with that, too. She only bit or picked at the cuticles on her nails when she was nervous or angry – that’s why she made sure to keep her nail appointments every two weeks. She didn’t want to have ugly cuticles on freshly designed nails.  Now she just wasted 264 DKK.

By the third time she watched the video, she went numb.  She couldn’t tell what she felt, all she knew was her mind wouldn’t let her feel anything.  A million different thoughts and emotions swirled around her, but none of them actually hit her, yet. The best way she could explain it was akin to having an out of body experience.  It felt like the glass desk she sitting at was getting further away from her while her laptop screen continued to get smaller.  She started to see the room she sat in as a person watching this scenario from somewhere else, and as long as she wasn’t directly connected to it, she could continue to disassociate with it. Instead, she could only sit there, with her mouth open, staring blankly at this distant laptop screen, unable to process what the fuck she just saw.  

There were no words. No thoughts.  There was nothing.  Only the feeling of adrenaline coursing through her veins and the sound of her heart breaking in a million pieces, as 13 seconds altered the course of her world.  

Ten minutes had to have passed before Nia clicked the replay button on the YouTube video to watch the clip for the fourth time.  She was in a better place now.  She had gotten up, got a drink of water. Practiced a bunch of things she could do in 13 seconds.  She had refocused.  She could watch it now and deal with it with a clear head. She wasn’t sure how many times she had watched it before – it hadn’t registered. She was still in shock from that initial viewing. But, she needed to watch it again because she had to dissect it.  

Placing her chin in her hand, she didn’t give a fuck if she was transferring her Mahogany Shape Tape foundation and Cocoa Bean Black Radiance pressed powder on her palm.  Fuck the papers that were going to be stained from the makeup transfer.  That was a gripe for another day - black women that wore makeup always had issues with the transfer.  It was the plight of the beauty revolution.  She’d fight that battle another day.  Right now, there more important things to deal with. 

Where the hell were her earphones?  She needed to have the audio go directly into her ears.  There was no time to have the sound filter throughout the loft’s office and possibly get distorted. She needed every word to go directly from the computer, in her ear, and into her brain for immediate translation. Maybe she missed something. Maybe she misinterpreted it. Yea…that was it.  This was on her. It had to be, right?

Plugging in her Beats headphones, she placed them on her ears and turned up the volume on her laptop.  She took in a deep shaky breath and hit the replay button for the fourth time. 

Nope, she hadn’t imagined it.  It was still the same.  He was still having fun, hanging out with those same stupid fucking people.  He was still talking in that same drunken tone.  He still thought everything was so fucking funny and laughed at every fucking thing.  

Why did he do that laugh?  It was laugh he used when he was really tickled.  The one that he accompanied by clapping his hands because he was genuinely amused. It was that laugh that she loved the most.  It was that laugh that made her laugh too, usually.  It was that laugh that brought tears to her eyes.  

What the fuck was he thinking? When was he going to learn? There were so many of these kinds of questions she wanted to ask, but did it matter? Did he ever really have to answer them?  It was always going to be different for him for so many reasons. The question was, did she want to stick it out and deal with it?  

This wasn’t the first time he had done something so irresponsible, so insensitive. She knew it wouldn’t be his last.  The problem was, he never seemed to understand why it was a problem.  Quite frankly, she tired of trying to be his teacher.

Just as she sat the headphones back on the desk, she heard the key in the front door lock.  She didn’t want to deal with him right now. She needed more time to digest everything before she talked to him, otherwise, this wasn’t going to be a productive conversation. 

Nia was not the type of person that liked to argue, let alone, have a conversation when she was angry.  Her words were always carefully weighed, and she very rarely said anything out of anger. Hurting someone’s feelings, being misunderstood, and saying something that she would later regret were things that she tried to avoid.  It wasn’t that she was non-confrontational, she was just reserved, that way.  She didn’t grow up in a house where people yelled or used words to hurt each other.  She didn’t believe in doing that, and she wasn’t going to bring that into her relationship, no matter how passionate Alex could get about a situation.  But the way she was feeling right now, all bets were off.  

“Hallo, Vlad.  Have you been a good boy?” She heard his voice from the hallway rise an entire octave as he addressed their 10-month-old Siberian husky.  She could tell by the way Vlad whined and his paws scratched against the hardwood floors that he was jumping on up Alex.  All of that money they were spending on dog training and Alex was still letting Vlad jump on him. Nia shook her head in irritation.  “I missed you, too, boy.  Where’s Mama, huh?” 

Nia remained frozen to the spot.  She did manage to reach for her vape, on her desk, and noticed how the muscles in her neck and shoulders shook with tension.  Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to unclench her jaw.  She just needed a few more minutes to herself.  If he could just go upstairs, or in another room and leave her alone, she would be able to talk to him about this later. But, knowing him, that wouldn’t happen. 

He would keep pushing and pushing until he found out what was wrong with her and before she knew it they would be in a fight.  A fight that she would be actively participating in.  

“Babe?” He called out, making his way across their loft.  His voice getting closer to her office door. “Hey, babe,” he awkwardly raised his hand in greeting, to accompany his words, followed by his thousand-watt smile. “I got us cheesecake from a new bakery.  Casper speaks highly of them.”

Nia looked at her boyfriend and she could feel the hot sting of tears forming at the back of her eyes. Immediately, she dropped her gaze, not wanting to address him or the situation at the moment.  She managed to nod slowly as she continued to work her now jagged cuticle.

To the rest of the world, Alex Høgh Andersen was the model, actor, and photographer that walked on water, ate bullets, and shit ice cream.  He was the sexy heartthrob that had over a million Instagram followers.  The guy that couldn’t post a picture of taking out the trash without it being sent over 5 continents and 35 countries in a matter of minutes.  He had over 2,000 fan sites, and countless fan fictions written about him…fans adored him the world over and he was only 25. He was fucking perfect.  

To Nia, he was just her Alex.  Her clumsy, silly boyfriend, who never put his clothes in the hamper and always left the toilet seat up.  He was the guy that loved to cook but never cleaned the dishes.  He was the one that was always singing or beat-boxing or banging on something trying to make music.  He was always tried to make people laugh.  He was loud, goofy, and drank too much. He smelled awful after a workout and had the messiest bed head when he let his hair grow.  He sometimes smacked when he chewed and always talked with his mouth full.  He was a clown, but he meant well.  He was sweet, and thoughtful and always treated her like she was the most important woman in the world.  

Nia never had one reason not to trust him...until now.

“Baby,” he took in the expression on her face and rounded the glass desk to where she was sitting.  Kneeling in front of her seat, he turned her swivel chair to face him and took her hands in his, “Baby, what’s wrong?”

She raised her eyes wide and looked at a place on the bookshelf, right over his left ear. Refusing to look into those beautiful blue eyes of his and lose her train of thought.  She felt the sweat start at her top lip, something that always happened right before she was about to cry, but she fought the urge.  

“Alex,” she tried to keep her voice steady, but she was pumped full of adrenaline and emotion so it shook involuntarily, “what the fuck?” She pulled her hand from him and turned her laptop toward him.  Hitting the play button on the YouTube video again, she played the 13-second clip for him.  

Alex watched himself, drunk as hell, outside of a night club in Ireland with friends.  He asked his friend to do part of a skit from one of his favorite comedians.  He knew exactly what was on this clip.  He’d seen it, and still thought it was funny. “What’s wrong?”

Nia didn’t say anything, she just let the clip play.  Alex’s friend, Danny, this clout chasing, promoter fuck stood in the shot with him.  Out of Alex’s mouth came the line from Kevin Hart’s Seriously Funny Comedy routine, “Go night, night, nigga?”

He had said it low as if he was talking to Danny, asking him to perform the line from the stand-up.  So what does the little hanger on do?  Danny, who is black, does a really bad, really loud Kevin Hart impression for Alex and the camera, “Go night, night, Nigga!”  

Alex then comes back in the scene and repeats it and they all laugh because it’s so damn funny.  Alex disappears from the screen because he’s laughing so hard, but Danny is still there, shit-talking about having a big dick.  When Alex returns, the two of them end the video with a rousing chorus of “Alright, alright, alright…”  

She didn’t say anything to him, she just looked.  She searched his face for some sort of understanding, some kind of recognition. Something.  But when he turned back to face her and all she saw was confusion she felt her shoulders drop and the first fat tear roll down her face. “Wow.”

“Honey,” he lifted a brow, not quite sure what his crime was.  He knew she didn’t like Danny, but he hadn’t even seen him since he was in Ireland last.  It had to have been a few months. “This was months ago,” he reassured her, with his Danish accent punctuating his English words, “I know you think I drink too much and you don’t like to see me drunk.  It’s no good when it goes viral.  But, we were just fooling around.  It’s nothing to cry about.”  He cupped her cheek in his hand, hand brushed away her tear with his thumb.  His blue eyes moved swiftly between her brown orbs.  “Where did you even find this?”

“Your fucking manager sent it to me, Alex.  They want me to fix this shit.  I’m supposed to make all of this go away.  Me...your fucking black girlfriend - I have to make this racist bullshit you pulled go away.”  She should smack him.  She should.  It would be justified, right? “How in the fuck am I supposed to do that when you think being drunk was the fucking problem with this video?”    

“I’m not a racist,” he said with genuine shock, “I don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t. You never do.” She got up from her chair, suddenly needing to distance herself from him.  “Why do I always have to be the one to educate you?  You are a grown man.  I shouldn’t have to explain this shit!  You DON’T get to say that word, Alex.  EVER.” She pointed a well-manicured finger in his direction, “It’s hurtful.  It’s hateful.  It’s ignorant.  And coming from YOU, it’s fucking devastating.” 

He was confused. What was she so upset about?  What exactly had he done wrong?  Turning around in his place, he slowly stood up and leaned against the desk.  Legs outstretched, arms folded across his chest in a defensive position he could tell that his girlfriend of three years was upset. Not just the regular run of the mill upset, either.  Something he had done had really bothered her.  

“Nia,” he breathed her name with a smirk on his face, “I think you’re making way bigger a deal of this than it is.  Danny was there, he didn’t care.  If I had said something bad, he would have told me.”  He pleaded with his face for her to trust him on this, it was all a misunderstanding.  “We were just joking. Besides, I didn’t say the bad word – the one with the other ending.  I changed it. We were just doing the part from the Kevin Hart comedy.” 

“Alex,” she straightened her posture and spoke very clearly so that he could understand her.  There was something in the way that he was dismissing what she had said to him that was really rubbing her the wrong fucking way, “You are not Kevin Hart.”  She did not crack a smile when he did.  She kept her face stoic and refused to drop his gaze.  “You are not black.  YOU don’t get to use that word, or any variation, thereof.”

Rolling his eyes, Alex relaxed his posture and lifted his face toward the ceiling. Is this what he came home for?  He could have still been hanging out with his friends for all this.  At least they wanted to have fun tonight.  It was a Friday for crying out loud, was this how they were going to start their weekend?  It was the first one in months that neither of them had to work.  They had been planning this weekend for forever, it seemed. They were supposed to be Netflix & chilling, drinking wine, having breakfast in bed…nowhere in their itinerary were they supposed to be fighting over a stupid joke.  

Alex’s hand covered most of his face, as he rubbed his eyes and tried to gather his thoughts. He didn’t want to argue.  He wanted to change out of his hoodie and jeans, and get into some comfortable sweats.  He wanted to feed Vlad and cook dinner with her.  He wanted to eat in front of the TV while they caught up on this season of How to Get Away with Murder, which they promised each other not to watch until they were together.  “Jesus, Nia, why do you always blow things out of proportion?”

“Why do I.. I’m sorry?  Do I always blow things out of proportion?  Really?” She looked around the room as if he were talking to someone else, “Are you fucking shitting me, right now? Blowing shit out of proportion?  Why do you always have to be such an insensitive prick?”  She watched as he threw up his hands and walked out of the room mumbling under his breath.  “Yeah, say that shit in English, Alex, since you have such a grasp of the fucking language.” 

God, she was doing it.  She was doing everything that she never wanted to do when she argued.  She was speaking out of anger.  She losing the point.  She didn’t have one anymore, she was just mad. “Really…I don’t know who the fuck you think you playing with, but I am not the one.”  

Taking off his jacket and throwing it on the couch, Alex turned around to face his girlfriend.  He paid particular attention to the way her chest rose and fell when she was heated like this. He had always thought she was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen, but now her anger didn’t match her beauty. “I don’t know what your problem is, Nia, or what you think I did, but I told you, it was a joke.  All of this, it’s not fair to take it out on me.  You owe me an apology for starting on me for no reason when I just walked in the house.”  

He flopped down on the couch and leaned back, pinching the bridge of his nose.  He could feel a headache beginning right between his eyes and he knew it was from tension. 

“What part of this don’t you understand?  You offended me. You offended black and brown people all over the fucking world, thanks to YouTube.  I don’t have to apologize for shit.  You and your little fucking troll friend need to be apologizing!” She started walking around in a circle, she felt just that crazy at the moment. 

Nia looked over at the corner to Vlad.  His blue eye and brown eye lowered to the floor in sadness, as his parent argued. Her heart broke for their baby, but it couldn’t be helped. “Obviously your manager thinks this is a big fucking deal if they sent this shit to be fixed.  Alex, you can’t go around offending people.  You are in the public eye, whether you want to be or not. You have fans that are from every walk of life - do you know how many of them you just insulted? You need to be more responsible for your actions and the shit that comes out of your mouth.”  

“Nia, I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal.  I hear that word a hundred times a day. It’s not a problem.  It’s in every song. It’s on American TV…Danny and your brother-in-law call me that all the time.  I’m not a racist.  I’m in love with a black woman.”  He found himself raising his voice because no matter what he was saying, she didn’t seem like she was understanding, “One time,” he held his finger up to emphasize his point, “I do a part from a comedy that I like, with my black friend, and you lose your damn mind.”  

“What the fuck, yo?” Was she going crazy? She tried to inhale clean air, and exhale the poison before she spoke, however, it wasn’t helping.  All she could do was rub her temples. “Danish, American...it doesn’t fucking matter does it?”

“What doesn’t?”   

“Your privilege?” She rubbed her temples slowly and tried to crack her neck. “I’m gonna say this real slow so you can translate it into whatever the fuck language you need to understand it.  I don’t care how much trap music you listen to. You don’t get to say that word. I don’t care if you know the words to every Kendrick Lamar song.  You don’t get to say that word.  I don’t care how many black friends you have. You don’t say that word.  I don’t care what my brother-in-law calls you, or me, or the man in the moon.  You don’t say that word.”  

She got closer to the couch and bend down so that he could hear her.  Barely opening her teeth to speak, she made her point crystal clear, “And I certainly don’t care if you are fucking me or a 100 other black girls, it doesn’t make you black.  You still don’t get to say that word!”

“Oh my God, Nia! It’s a fucking word.”

Was she talking to herself?  Was he that clueless?  Where there no words in Danish that meant anything like it?  They had racism all over the world, surely there was a word in his language that used to oppress another culture to the effect that that word had been used to tear down black people, but black Americans especially.  Nia didn’t know what it meant to other black people, she could only tell him what it meant to her.  

“Do you know what’s like to have no identity, Alex?  Do you know what it’s like to still be referred to as the term they used when they listed you in catalogs to be bought and sold like an animal?  It was no different than saying the word ‘cow’ – it was a word to describe cattle. That’s what an entire country thought of people that look like me.  For no other reason than the color of my skin.”  She couldn’t stop the tears from pooling in her eyes.  She was so beyond mad that her voice was eerily quiet.  “Those people didn’t do anything to deserve it.  They were just born next to the equator.” She shrugged her shoulders in defeat.

“That word stripped men of their role in the family and made some impotent and others were turned into bucks that were only good for breeding…it broke them. It made women broodmares, whose job was to have babies to keep plantations going.  Families were sold apart no different than how Vlad was taken from his mother because he’s a dog.” She pointed to their puppy hoping that he would understand, “They thought it was okay to do that to my ancestors because of that word. Alex, I don’t care how much you hear that word. When you say it, that’s what it feels like to me. That I don’t exist.  That Nia doesn’t exist. That I’m no different than Vlad. But, here’s the rub - in all the time we’ve had him I have never once heard you refer to him as a dog.  But now you used the word nigga, and you think it’s funny.  So, I have to wonder now, how do you describe me?”

He was dumbstruck. 

He didn’t mean any of that when he said it.  It was a joke.  It was an homage to Kevin Hart.  It was fucking funny.  He understood that she was hurt, but he didn’t quite get why she was hurting. “I see that this hurt you. I’m sorry about that.  It was not my intention.”  He reached out to touch her and retrieved his hand when she pulled away, “If it was wrong, why didn’t Danny correct me?”

“That little fucker?” God, she hated him.  “Because he set your ass up and you’re too fucking stupid to know it.”  She didn’t mean that.  She didn’t want to hurt him just because he had hurt her.  But she was tired of telling him the same thing over and over again. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that little bastard is not your friend?  Do you remember how we met?  The drunken video he posted of you doing the Haka dance that ended up all over the internet? Do you remember how I had to spin that shit to save your career?”  She rolled her eyes and stood up from the couch. “Whenever you pop a bottle, that little clout chaser is always right there with a fucking camera.”  

“He’s not like that, he’s my friend.”

“He set your ass up! It’s a game, Alex!  Black guys play it all the time.  See if you can make your white friend say the word. Only, I’m surprised he didn’t punch you in the mouth afterward.  Cause that’s what they’d’ve done in the States.  But maybe things worked differently in Ireland.”  

“Whatever,” Letting out a frustrated sigh, Alex resigned.  

“Right. Whatever.” Walking back into her office, she slammed the lid closed on her laptop before throwing it and a few files into her work bag. “Un-fuckin-believable.”  She left out of the office and sat her bag on the floor by the door before she walked across the hardwood floors towards the stairs. “Move, Vlad,” she said lovingly rubbing her big four-legged baby on the head.  

Vlad made no intention of moving as if he was purposely trying to stop her from ascending the stairs.  Instead, the dog looked at her, then back at Alex, before turning his gaze back at her. “Vladimir, honey, I need you to move.” She watched as her 50-pound defiant child laid on the bottom step and put his brown and white head on his paws. “Fine,” she said, skipping a step to climb over him and made her way up the rest of the stairs, rolling her eyes when the dog followed behind her.

Alex followed behind them and stood in the doorway of their bedroom watching as grabbed a handful of items; a t-shirt, toothbrush, and hair scarf. This entire argument had been blown way out of proportion. Now she was leaving?  “Baby, where you going?”

“Away from you.”

Tags:   @oddsnendsfanfics​​  @a-mess-of-fandoms​​​ @waiting4inspiration​ @simsadventures​​ @chipster-21​​  @tgrrose​​  @alicedopey​​   @thelastemzy​​​  @naaladareia​​ @alexa4040​​ @absolutelynotanidiot​​ @pokeasleepingsmaug​​ @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme​​ @skadithegoddess​​   @geekandbooknerd​​​ @dreamlesswonder86​​ @inforapound​ @youbloodymadgenius​​ @cruelfvckingsummer​​ @mummybear​ @flowers-in-your-hayr​​ @honestsycrets​ @jzr201​ @xbellaxcarolinax​ @ivarthebloodyking​

[ayatosmlktea]

Hi I’m here to bug you again lol. Can I get Eren with a s/o that breaks her arm? So like it’s someone’s birthday and the whole 104th is partying and she breaks her arm like Zane does from the Vlog Squad? I just came across that video and thought it would be interesting. Thank you have a nice day!

A/N: Just so you know I’m extremely squeamish about anything that has to do with veins and bones breaking so…feel special that I rewatched the clip multiple times to get it right for you :)

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑫𝒊𝒆𝒅! ❤️

“Ohmygod guysssss” Y/N slurred her voice just barely audible over the loud music blaring throughout the club. Most of them were pretty tipsy but Y/N had gone all out, school was a constant pain in her ass and Eren’s birthday gave her the perfect opportunity to get shit faced.

“I just really *hic* love you guys so much!” She choked out between hiccups, Eren snickered while brushing h/c hair out of her sweaty face. Their group was used to Y/N being the emotional drunk, more often than not sobbing into her fries at the end of the night as she repeatedly told her friends how much she loved them.

“We love you tooooo!” Sasha cooed back, also piss drunk. Eren hadn’t drank that much, even though it was his birthday he was having more fun watching Y/N squish Jean’s face between her tiny hands.

“You know your face doesn’t really look like a horse right?” She asked with genuine concern completely ignoring the look of stupor on the blond’s face making Eren bark out a harsh laugh at how unfiltered his girlfriend was.

“Eren talks about you sooo much! I think he’s a little gay for you” Y/N whispered loud enough for their entire group to hear laughing at the mirrored expressions of horror on their faces.

“Okay babe I think you’ve had enough to drink” the brunette says pulling his girlfriend away from Jean who refused to look at him.

“I’m hungry” Sasha whines leaning her head against Connie’s shoulder.

“You’re always hungry” Mikasa retorts side eyeing her friend. No one could ever tell when Mikasa was drunk, her cheeks were flushed pink but her attitude remained the same. There was only one time they’d ever seen her wasted and ever since then they’d tried to recreate it but Mikasa’s tolerance was by far the highest of the group and everyone else was usually passed out before then.

“Baaaabe I’m hungry too” Y/N pouts flashing Eren the puppy eyes that worked on his every single time. In all honesty they were starving, not having eaten anything before heading out to the club for the night.

“I think they have that new spicy chicken sandwich at KFC, we should go there” Historia giggles.

“Oh my god that’s Burger King, dumbass” Marco shoots back, using Jean’s knee to unsuccessfully steady himself while pointing his finger in Historia’s direction.

“Wow you’re all so uncultured.” Sasha rolls her eyes “it’s fucking Popeyes” Snickering at her insignificant victory Connie high fives her while she meets his palm with a fist bump.

“I want chicken nuggets!” Y/N declares loudly standing up too fast making her stumble over her heels. Eren grips her arm to keep her from falling while she bobs her head to the beat of bad romance.

“I guess we’re going to get nuggets” Eren chuckles sliding his arm around Y/N’s waist providing more support for her unstable legs.

The cool night air was refreshing after being in that sweaty club for the past couple of hours. The girls had formed their own group walking in front of their boyfriends, dragging Marco along with them as usual.

“So Jaeger, you’re gay for me huh?” Jean smirks making Eren gag in response.

“Sorry bro you’re not my type. I’m not into beastiality” Connie let out an ugly laugh, the alcohol making him louder than usual. Jean was about to retort when Y/N suddenly jumped into Eren’s arms. While he hadn’t had enough to drink to get drunk he was still pretty tipsy. Y/N’s constant shifting over her body weight in his arms was making him dizzy.

“Babe I’m going to drop you!”

“Nooooo you’re so strong Eren! It’s fine” She giggled before throwing herself a little too far over his arms. Ymir had pulled her phone out the second Y/N had jumped into her boyfriend’s arms knowing it was going to end disastrously. Unable to keep his own balance Eren’s grip loosened around her body causing her to fall forward onto the sidewalk. The sound of her bone popping had everyone’s stomach churning. Y/N seemed too drunk to notice that her arm had twisted at an inhumane angle. However it seemed to snap Eren out of his alcoholic state.

“Oh my god, babe are you okay?” Bending down to her level he tried not to gag at the awkward position of her elbow.

“It hurts” she mumbled, the alcohol suppressing the amount of pain she should have been feeling.

“I’m gonna call an ambulance” Mikasa stated.

“I cannot believe I got that on video!” Ymir’s delighted smile was wiped off as Historia jabbed her elbow into her girlfriend’s ribs sharply.

“She could have died Ymir be nice!”

“You guys are idiots” Jean muttered.

Masterlist

[davidjdobriks-blog]

Too Cool for Parties

Here’s a quick little one-shot I wrote last night.

Summary: You meet David outside of a party, and he offers you a ride home.

Word count: 2,362

The air outside of the party was a nice contrast to the inside. Her skin felt like it could breathe out here, instead of being stifled by the wet heat of however many people filled a house. 

“Are you ready to go?” Nora asked.

She took a sip of her warm beer and sat on the porch steps. Nora was the only person she really knew here, but she didn’t feel ready to go. It had been so long since she’d felt good enough to attend a party, much less get drunk without crying, and she didn’t want it to stop now. “No, I think I’m going to stay for a bit.”

“Are you sure?” Nora asked, slightly worried. “Can you get home?”

“I’ll just get an Uber or something,” she answered. The air felt too good—too alive—for her to get in a car right now. Sitting down made her aware of just how drunk she really was, and she could feel all of her weight pulling her down.

“Okay, well, call me if you need anything,” said Nora, who was still worried about her and just how fragile she may or may not have been. 

I’m not going to fall apart like that, she thought. You don’t need to coddle me. She knew Nora meant well, but it was getting a little stifling to have everyone handling her like a newborn puppy. She needed Nora to just leave and trust that she could get home okay on her own.

As Nora walked away, the air got a little less sharp.

She took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. The stars weren’t that impressive in Los Angeles—there was too much light and the air was too thick. She longed for the stars back home in the Northeast, where you could practically feel them shining on your skin, like each was a little sun of its own.

The only noise came from the party inside. No one was coming or going, and she sat alone. It’s a tiny porch, she thought. There’s not room for anyone else here anyway.

She looked to her right, where there was a little bit of room. The blank space made her think about Ian. Maybe there is room for someone else. I wonder where he is right now.

She stopped herself. She was okay. She knew that she deserved more than he ever gave her, and had come to terms with the fact that he would never live up to the potential she had set for him. She still didn’t know whether that was his fault or hers. Did it even matter?

“It matters,” she said aloud—involuntarily, really.

The front door opened and noise poured out in a thick wave for a couple seconds, before whoever it was shut the door and stopped the flow of chatter and booming. She saw legs sit down on the opposite side of the steps, and looked up. She found a boy in all black, his face focused on a camera that he held over his lap. She could hear him playing back a video once, twice, three times. The faint light from the screen illuminated his face. It was soft, gentle, and sweet. His nose was a little too big for his face, but it made him look interesting and friendly somehow.

His shut the camera off and looked over at her. To her dismay, she was still staring at him. Their eyes met briefly, even in the sparse light of the outside.

“Party not cool enough for you, huh?” he asked. His voice was just as sweet as his face. His words spun together into one breath, one long word. It was a funny way of speaking. She could almost hear his mouth move in an overly-animated way.

She smiled. “It would seem the same applies to you, since you’re out here, too.”

He leaned his head back. “Ah! You got me there.” It was silent for a moment. “Actually, for real though, I don’t really like parties.”

“From the sound of your videos, I’d say you were enjoying yourself.”

He thought for a moment. “I go for my friends, but I leave really fast.”

“Is that why you’re out here? Leaving?”

“Can’t. My friends don’t want to yet, but it’s—“

“—way too hot in there, yeah, I know.” 

He smiled at her from across the step, camera still clutched in hand. “Yeah, way too fuckin’ hot.”

He stared at her for a moment, like he was trying to make out her face in the dim lighting—trying to see if she was worth a conversation. That was her first instinct, anyway. Not every guy is like that, she thought. Don’t put him in a hole after a few sentences.

“I’m sorry, but can I come sit next to you?” he asked.

“Be my guest,” she answered. She could see his eyes light up even in the dark.

As he moved closer to her, she was able to discern more of his face. His eyes were dark—probably brown. His eyebrows sat low on his face, shading his eyes, deep-set in his head. His lips were full, both in shape and color, and had little tears where she knew he probably tore off the skin like she did when she was nervous. His hair was an absolute mess, but it suited him. It was a purposeful mess—a controlled disaster.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“(Y/N),” she said. “What’s yours?”

“David,” he replied. “Are you waiting for your friends, too?” he asked.

“No, she left.”

“Left you here? Alone?” He sounded shocked. It made her laugh.

“Don’t judge her too quickly, okay? I told her to leave me here.”

“Why would you want to be at a party alone?”

His question held more weight than she thought he meant it to. It held talk about sadness, ex-boyfriends, and coddling friends. She admired him for asking something so secretly heavy.

“I—I haven’t really had fun in a long time. I wasn’t ready to leave and let the night be over just yet.” It was as honest as she could be without bringing up anything personal. 

His eyebrows furrowed, and his face tightened. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”

It wasn’t an answer she was expecting. He knew nothing about her, but it felt like a genuine apology on behalf of the world. 

“Thank you,” she said. “It’s okay, though. I had fun tonight.”

His face loosened up again, eyebrows calm and straight. “Good,” he said. “I hope I helped with that just a little.” A grin spread across his face as he pinched his fingers close together. She couldn’t help but smile back at him. He was childlike in the most admirable way—a way that didn’t make him feel immature, but made him feel like more of a human being than many people ever were.

He didn’t wait for her to answer before he continued the conversation. He was eager, and acted on what could only be instinct. “Do you want to see the videos I took of my friends?” he asked excitedly, with that same kid-ness about him.

“Sure,” she said, scooting closer until their arms pressed together. His skin was warm and comforting against hers. She looked up at his face in time to see color on his cheeks. Is he still just hot from being inside? She told herself that that’s all it could be. It is not our skin touching.

He turned on his camera and showed her clip after clip of young people doing stupid things—granted, stupid things that she had done before. Each one ran only a few seconds, but they were highlights—the peaks of the night. There was a girl dancing on a table, a guy on a stripper pole, someone doing a body shot, someone smashing a beer can over their head. After a couple more than she could count in her drunk state, he asked her, “Did you like them?”

“I think it’s crazy that you managed to look like you were having the best time of your life when you left early to come sit on a sad excuse for a porch with a girl you don’t know.”

He laughed, really laughed, at her answer. One side of his mouth curled up more than the other when he laughed, and he stuck his tongue out a bit. It added to his charm.

“That’s not true,” he said. “I know you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I know you’re too cool for parties and would rather sit on a sad excuse for a porch instead.”

There was his charm again. I don’t think he knows that he’s doing this, she thought. It all seemed so natural, as if he was unaware of how intriguing he really was. It only added to the feeling. 

The two sat on the step for a while longer, exchanging flirtatious jokes and avoiding serious conversations. Sometimes he would steer too close to the hard stuff, and she’d have to steer him away, but he would get the hint and quickly follow her lead. He’s smart, she thought. He gets conversational cues. He made her laugh, and, more importantly, she made him laugh, too. That meant that she got to see his crooked-tongue-out laughing face again and again. It was an addiction at a certain point; she would say anything to make him laugh.

After a couple more sips of warm beer, she looked at her phone. The screen read 3:24 A.M.

“I should probably get home,” she said, with a pained strain behind her voice. She didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want to have to ask for his number and hope and hope for him to message her back. She didn’t want to do the same thing that she knew would happen once she left him. It was the same thing that happened every time, with every nice boy that eventually would turn out to not be so nice.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” he asked instinctually.

“Oh, no,” she said. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking, though,” he said. “I am.”

Her lips turned up and she felt a pull in her chest. “You really want to?”

He looked shocked. “Of course.”

“Should we wait for your friends?”

He squinted his eyes and tossed his head. “Nah, I’ll be back for them later.”

They got up and walked together a few houses down. She kept walking when he stopped to open the driver’s side door of a Tesla. 

“This is your car?” she asked.

“Ouch,” he feigned. “What? You don’t believe me?”

She playfully hit his arm. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” she said. “It’s just really cool.”

As he slid into the driver’s seat, he said, “I know.” His words held the hint of a wink, but she imagined he was too shy for a real one.

After giving him directions to her house, they took turns playing songs on his phone. He liked the same kind of music as her, so it was hard to find songs that he didn’t already know. She wanted to stand out—she wanted him to remember her. He would comment on the music she played, or the music he played. I love this fucking song! Dude, this is, like, my favorite song. You have to listen to this one part after the chorus.

The ride home felt shorter than it should’ve been, and her wishes for some universal force to make traffic worse didn’t succeed. They were sitting in the car outside of her house. From the lack of lights, it looked like everyone was asleep. 

“You got your keys?” he asked.

She reached in her pocket and held them up for him to see. “Yep.”

She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to scare him by seeming to interested, but she didn’t want to leave him without a trace either. It was an unbearable battle between the two sides of her that said be yourself and be cool, as though those two things were mutually exclusive.

“Cool,” he said. It seemed he didn’t know what to do either.

At the same time, they both tried to speak.

“You go,” she said with a laugh.

“Can I, like, have your number or something?,” he asked. Like before, he didn’t give her time to answer. “I’m sorry if that’s, like, out of line or anything. I don’t mean it that way. I just really think that—“

“Yes,” she said. 

“Cool,” he said again, but this time looking much more excited. 

They exchanged much more confident goodbyes, now knowing that their conversation wasn’t over with the car turning around. There’s potential now, she thought.

She quietly entered the house, being careful not to wake her roommates up. When she got to her room, she turned on the light and laid back on her bed. Slowly, a grin spread across her face. She knew she was drunk, but she knew that he liked her, too. In her head, she put together every piece of evidence she had for that fact. He wanted my number.

She showered slowly to try and ease the alcohol out of her veins. She admitted to herself that she was also going so slowly to give him more time to text her. Maybe I should’ve gotten his number instead, she thought. Fuck, what if he never texts me. Now I can’t even try to text him because he’s the one with my number, and I don’t have his. The worry of it all dragged her down until the water went cold, and she was forced to turn the water off. 

Despite all of the dread and loathing, she couldn’t help but check her phone the minute she left the bathroom. Her heart sprang in her chest, like a weight had been cast off of her ribs. It was him.

- Hey, it’s David. I hope you’re not too cool to maybe let me take you to dinner tomorrow

[buckygirl-fanfiction]

Sparks Chapter 5

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV) ft. other members of the avengers team

Word Count: 3.6K 

Summary: y/n goes clubbing with the girls and after viewing her snapchat story Bucky spots Hydra agents lurking. Bucky goes to y/n’s apartment to warn her. He brings her back to the tower and she spends the night at his apartment. They casually share a bed and Bucky has a night terror episode which he is embarrassed/ashamed about. y/n on the other hand isn’t scared or disgusted by her friends night terror. Their friendship gets stronger and Bucky starts to face new feelings about y/n.

A/N: This is a story about two people building a great friendship and then slowly falling in love. y/n is a strong, independent, and smart scientist. She meets Bucky when she wakes him up from cryo sleep and they become friends. This is going to have all the angst / best friends falling in love / fluff / drama / & eventual smut ;) that I can possibly fit in it. This fic is going to be looong! So far my document is like 66 pages. So editing is hard If you catch any grammatical or formatting errors let me know.

August 28, 2015

Bucky’s POV

It’s been almost 2 months since the incident and y/n told me she’s finally healed up enough to take me up on my offer to spar. We have been going out on morning runs for about three weeks now all orchestrated by Steve who is now my ex-running partner. I think the man is secretly very happy that i’m being more outgoing than I was 3 months ago when I first woke up. y/n is good for the soul. I think everyone could use a friend like her. She’s genuinely kind-hearted to everyone and never boring. Despite her kindness, the girl is surprisingly strong. She wasn’t kidding when she said she could kick ass. Which she is proving to me right now. We are at the gym in the tower on a mat. Her leg comes around and before I can move she knocks me to the ground. I do have to admit even though i’m going easy on her she’s knocked me down a couple more times than i’d like to admit to. She stands over me offering me a hand.

“Not bad y/n,” I say.

“Not bad? I was awesome,” she replies. She’s quick i’ve got to give her that.

“Again?” I ask.

“Eh, I’m getting kind of tired,” plus I have to be in the lab in like 20 minutes. She says checking her watch.

“Alright, we still on for our run tomorrow?” I ask.

“Yeah, but it’s saturday and I may be hung over so can we go at like 12 instead of 10?” She asks.

“Hung over?” I ask curiously?

“Yeah i’m going clubbing with some of the girls,” she says. “I would invite you but it’s strictly a girls night and I don’t think I can sneak you in. Well maybe if you curled your hair and I did your makeup” She says jokingly.

“As fun as that sounds, i’ll pass.” I say. We say our goodbyes and part ways as I watch y/n walk to the locker rooms to shower before going up to work. We’ve gotten a lot closer during our time together and i’m really starting to consider her a close friend.

…

Its around 1am and i’m in my room looking through my phone. I open the snapchat app that y/n introduced me to and go through her story. It’s a bunch of selfies of her, Wanda, Nat, Cho and a couple other girls I don’t know. y/n seems lively as ever and about 10 times drunker than usual. She also posted videos of her in the club dancing with flashing lights going off around her. I watch her entire story when I spot something out of place. I almost didn’t see it. It was just a glimpse and I had to replay her entire story again just to make sure. She’s in a crowded club surrounded by people sitting on a bar stool taking shots. Behind her in the distance in a very grainy video clip is a man. A very familiar looking man that I recognize. At first glance he seems like any other guy at a club wearing a blazer. But I knew him very well during my days at hydra, or at least I knew of him. I crossed paths with him in the late 90s. He was a headhunter of sorts. Hydra used to contract him out on recon missions to gather intel from high level government agents. His information gathering techniques weren’t as nice as simple question and answer time. It doesn’t take long to fill in the blanks. Wanda and Nat are high level field agents no way he’d go after them, plus going after them would involve infiltrating the tower which he can’t do. The other girls in the group are civilians, he wouldn’t care about them. Cho and y/n are the most likely targets. Working in the labs they would be the ones with the most information. I check the timestamp on the video and it was posted an hour ago. I quickly put out a SOS and the first person to arrive back at the tower is Tony. I explain the situation Tony does his usual tech stuff to run through video camera footage at and around the area of the club. I try to get any of the girls on their phones and fail. y/n’s phone keeps going to voicemail and so does Wanda’s while Nat and Cho don’t answer. y/n can take care of herself I know that, but Cho. Not to mention y/n’s probably off her game from the drinking which leads me to run through some scary possibilities facing both of them. Tony is tapping away at a keyboard along with two other agents on call tonight. After about twenty minutes of failure to contact them, Steve walks into the large security room with Nat and Wanda and says, “I found them, they just got back.”

“Whats going on?” Nat says.

“You had a tail tonight,” Tony says explaining the entire situation to them.

“Where is Cho and y/n?” I ask.

“Uh, they both got in an uber to go home,” Wanda says. “y/n’s phone died she caught a ride with Cho.”

Steve and I looked at each other, “You get y/n, i’ll get Cho,” Steve says. I run out to the garage and get on my motorbike speeding through the streets to y/n’s apartment. I’ve been there bored twice it’s not far just a 3 minute ride. I don’t want to draw attention to myself so I park a couple buildings away and check my surroundings. If he’s going after y/n I don’t want to spook him away. I want to catch him now and take him in. I stealthly make my way up y/n’s fire escape, she’s on the 7th floor. I slowly and quietly open a window and go through it. I’m in her bedroom it’s empty. Maybe she’s not home yet. Then I hear someone walking towards the room. It’s a woman’s steps, I hear the clicking of her heels. It’s dark in her room and i’m still standing by the window right next to the door.

y/n’s POV

I’m really tipsy and i’m praying I make it to my bed without falling. I throw the key on the table by the door and lock my door. I wobble towards my bedroom. Unzipping the back of my dress as I walk. Its tight and uncomfortable but man did I look good tonight. But i’m too lazy to take it off now. So, I settle for just unzipping the back. I walk into my bedroom and make my way to the bed. Wait something’s not right. Then I realize there’s a figure standing next to my window blocking some of the moonlight.

Bucky’s POV

y/n doesn’t see me at first but then she does and she’s quick even when she’s drunk and she turns around throwing a hard blow to my neck. Ouch. I reach back around her grabbing her arm and shoulder. I wrap my arm around her pulling her back towards me. I quickly cover her mouth with my hand. Her back is pressed to my front and I can feel that the back of her dress is unzipped. I whisper, “it’s me, Bucky.” Before she can say anything we hear another noise coming from the kitchen a clang, someone’s knocked something over. She stops moving for a second. “I think someone's in here with you, we think he followed you.” My hand is still over y/n’s mouth and she mumbles against it. “Shh” I say in response. I see a shadow moving towards the door and I get ready to attack. y/n paws at my hand and the entirely dramatic moment ends in a white cat walking through the bedroom door looking up at us with a meow and then proceeding to walk past us towards y/n’s bed. y/n pushes off me and I release the hand over her mouth.

“What the fuck Bucky the only person who's in here is you,” she says glaring at me in the dark. I walk over and turn the lights on. I walk through the apartment double checking to make sure no one else is in here. “Bucky!” she says following me.

“I didn’t know you had a cat,” I say the only two times i’d come around here I didn’t notice a cat.

“I don’t it’s my neighbors she visits sometimes,” y/n says still glaring at me. “Why the fuck are you here? You scared the daylights out of me.”

y/n’s POV

“Cho,” he says before pulling out his phone and dialing someone. “He’s not here, did you get to Cho’s?” I walk over to him and rest my head along side his to hear who he was talking to on the phone. In heels i’m almost as tall as he is. I can faintly hear what sounds like Steve’s voice on the other side of the line.

“We intercepted her Uber before she got home, I picked her up right now. She’s safe.” Something happened to Cho? No, I think to myself. Well she’s with Steve now. What was going on? My brain felt fuzzy and my eyes were tired. I was leaning my head against Bucky’s right hand where he was holding the phone to his ear. I was trying to better hear what was going on, on the other side of the line.

“Okay, good i’m with y/n now. I’ll meet you back at the tower.” Bucky says before hanging up. He turns towards me and our faces are millimeters apart, I look up at him and he says, “you smell like vodka.” I smack him right on the back of his head with my palm. “Ouch, what was that for?” he says with puppy dog eyes.

“Of course I smell like vodka I’ve been drinking it all night. Now tell me what’s going on.” I say.

“I promise I’ll tell you everything once we are back at the tower,” he says looking around. “No first go pack a bag you’re going to need it.”

“No,” I say taking a stand, well a metaphorical stand because I don’t think my legs can hold out any longer so I take a seat on the sofa. “tell me whats going on,” I demand.

“Fine I’ll do it for you,” he says making his way to the bedroom. I’m way to out of it to follow him and try to stop him. So I narrow my eyes at him and steadily hold my position on the sofa.

Bucky’s POV

I walk into her bedroom, the white cat is still comfortably situated on her bedspread. I open her closet and find a tan backpack and grab it. I grab along with it some jeans and a couple t-shirts. I walk to her dresser and find her interesting lingerie collection. No time for comments, I chide my thoughts and shove some undies into the bag along with a couple bras. I walk over to her bathroom grab her toothbrush. I walk back out to the living room put her laptop into the bag and her chargers and zip it up. Her eyes on burning holes into me as I toss her the bag. “Come on let’s go,” I say.

“I’m not moving till you tell me what’s going on. What happened to Cho?” She says. She looks tired but still amazing, I haven’t seen her this dolled up since… well ever. She looks a lot different than the y/n I see everyday.

“You’re stubborn when you’re drunk,” I say. She answers me with silence. I sit down across from her on the wooden coffee table and put my hands on the side of her knees. “We, the team and I, think someone followed you to the club. Some I know from my Hydra days. It was only reasonable to assume he was after either you or Cho. Now come with me back to the tower before we have a nasty run in with a superspy headhunter and i’ll explain everything to you in detail.”

She gets up and turns around, “zip me up.” I zip up her dress and she turns back around facing me, “thanks.” She sighs and then leans over grabs the backpack and puts it on. She walks over to the door slipping her heels off and slipping on a pair of sneakers. “Let’s go,” she says grabbing her keys and phone off the table. I follow her out. Down the stairs and out to my bike. Crap my bike, I realize I should have brought my car. A motorcycle ride with a drunk girl not a good idea. Almost as if she can read my mind she says, “I’ll be fine, i’ll just… I don’t know close my eyes.” I get on and she gets on behind me wrapping her arms around my chest tightly. It’s only a short 3 minutes ride and we are in the garage.

y/n’s POV

It’s a short ride but it still scrambled my brain about 10 times more on top of the being woozy already from drinking. The bike slowly comes to a stop and my body is still pressed flush against Bucky and i’m fighting the urge to throw up. My cheek feels cool resting against his leather jacket. We sit there in silence for about 2 more minutes like this.

“y/n,” he says. “Are you okay?”

“Mmmmm,” I moan slowly peeling myself off his back and getting off the bike. The urge to barf has subsided but my head's still spinning.

“Want me to carry you?” he says. I can’t tell if he is teasing or genuinely concerned.

Either way I say, “No, I am perfectly capable of walking thank you,” and make my way towards the elevators slowly. We ride up to the security floor and find Nat, Wanda, Steve and Tony all scanning through security footage and a equally hungover Cho sitting on a chair staring up at the ceiling. I walk towards her and take a seat next to her. “You okay?” I ask.

“Yeah,” she says weakly. Tony explains the situation so far. Agents are out at both our appartments keeping an eye out to see if any sketchy figures show and Tony is trying to trace the Hydra agents footsteps from the club through security footage. I honestly stopped caring what was happening after I saw Cho was okay but I do my best to listen to the progress reports. About a hour later Wanda and Cho leave to go to crash in her room. Whilst Steve is hot on the trail of the Hydra agent with Nat. Somehow no matter how much Nat drinks she’s still at the top of her game. Tony’s facial recognition program picked up the Hydra agent, known as Maddox, running a red light about 20 minutes away from here. Nat and Steve went to investigate while Tony runs point from the security room. I want to know what’s happening so despite Wanda’s offer to stay with her I volunteer to stay in the security room to keep myself updated. Around 40 minutes in I’m sound asleep, my head against a desk.

Bucky’s POV

It’s almost 4am and Steve and Nat just called it quits on tracking Maddox the man was good, definitely good enough to avoid security cameras. y/n was sound asleep on a security desk when Tony called Steve and Nat back in from the field.

“Looks like she’s out,” Tony said pointing to y/n.

“Yeah, i’ll get her to bed,” I say. I grab the backpack she dropped and put it over my shoulder. I walk over to y/n and slowly and carefully lift her up from the chair she’s on. I walk towards the elevator and make sure not to wake her as I carry her. But halfway through the ride wakes up and squints her eyes at me.

“Put me down,” she says in a dry voice. She strong and she's stubborn and in the couple weeks i’ve known her i’ve come to realize she hates looking weak. Even if that means accepting help from others.

“No, sometimes you have to accept the fact that you need help y/n. You can’t do everything alone.” I say.

“You’re one to talk,” she mumbles back. I walk to my apartment and sit her down on my bed.

“I’ll take the sofa,” I say making my way to the door.

“Don’t be such a baby, we are two grown adults. We can share a bed Buck,” she says. If it wasn’t so dark i’d say she was rolling her eyes. She slips off her shoes and digs through her backpack. “You forgot to pack pajamas,” she says.

“Would this work?” I say walking over to my nightstand and tossing her one of my grey t-shirts.

She grabs it and says, “turn around,” I hear the distinct sound of her unzipping her dress and tossing it on the floor. Then I hear the sound of my covers. “Okay you’re good,” she says. She’s cuddled up on the right side of my bed and I don’t have the heart to tell her that the right side is usually where I sleep so I just take the left. She drifts off before me and i’m left facing new emotions that I don’t think I’m ready to face. So I put them away and bury them deep down.

y/n’s POV

I hear a pained moan that pulls me out of my sleep. I look at the bedside clock but it’s not there. What? Wait i’m not in my bed. The events of last night come back to me and then I turn to see Bucky covered in sweat tossing in his sleep mumbling something. I rub my eyes and reach over to shake him awake. I barely touch him before he grabs my wrist and pins it down above my head. He is awake, or not I don’t know. But his eyes are open and they are frantically staring down at me filled with fear. He’s half on top of me and he’s heavy. I almost knee him but then I stop myself and realize he is probably having some sort of night terror. Instead I talk him out of it, “Bucky, wake up” I whisper. “It’s me y/n,” slowly he snaps out of his episode and recognition fills his eyes. Then what can only be described as once again fear.

“Shit, i’m so sorry y/n,” he begins what I can tell is going to be a very long winded apology and I’m just way to sleepy to hear it.

Instead I say, “Can you get me some water?” He jumps up and in a few seconds he is back with a glass of water, which i’m very grateful for. I drink the entire thing and set the glass on the nightstand. I look across the room to find a clock which reads 6.54am. I look back up in the dark to find Bucky still standing in front of me at the side of the bed. I can already tell what he’s feeling. And as much as I’d like to have a long conversation at 7am in the morning about insecurities. I’m hungover and tired so I simply just say, “you can lie back down. I don’t bite.” To which I get no response. There only one way i’m going to get him back in bed so I just say it. I say it even if I don’t mean it because I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable or bad about the episode he had just had. “Bucky, i’m hungover and sleepy and i’m going to be honest i’m a little scared because some Hydra maniac is after me. So can you just get back in bed because I really don’t want to be alone right now.” I move over to the left side of the bed and stare at him. He doesn’t say anything instead he just slips back in under the covers and I drift back asleep.

Bucky’s POV

That’s when I knew I was in trouble. When she sleepily uttered those words. I recall them while staring at the ceiling it’s 7.03am and her breathing has slowed back down indicating that she was fast asleep: “I’m a little scared because some hydra maniac is after me. So can you just get back in bed because I really don’t want to be alone right now.” I remember it word for word. And I knew it was all a lie when they came out of her. I’ve know y/n long enough to know she isn’t scared of many things and even if she was she doesn’t like to admit it. And she definitely isn’t scared of Maddox attacking her while she’s in a secure tower. She said it because she wanted me to feel comfortable, she said those words to let me know that my little episode earlier hadn’t bothered her. And that’s when I knew I was in trouble. All those feelings I buried only a couple hours earlier came bubbling up to the surface. And boy was I in trouble. This girl who sleeps peacefully next to me this very second. This girl who hates asking for help or admitting to fear. Just lied to spare my feelings then proceeded to fall asleep peacefully, she wasn’t scared or disgusted, and that was beautiful. She turned in her sleep, her back was to me now. She was on the other end of the bed and I was so tempted to reach out and touch her. Just to make sure she was real and not some grand illusion. I had to make sure. I reached out and poked her shoulder very gently to feel the soft material of my t-shirt and pulled my finger back immediately.  

[girlfanswan]

BigHit’s Little Princess (BTS AU)

Brief Background/Synopsis/Backstory (idk):

Tori is a popular Filipino music producer and entertainer in South Korea. Her charm and humor brings joy to many while her talent in creating hit songs help boost the careers of many idols and singers. She is currently signed under BigHit Entertainment alongside BTS and another boy group getting ready to debut. Being the sole female artist in a popular entertainment company is exciting but also the start of many (mis)adventures and hiccups in her life.

About Tori:

Face Claim: A mix of Maureen Wroblewitz and Kelsey Merritt*

*For anyone who is offended that I used these two models for a character who is full Filipino, you may opt to use any other Filipino female model or celebrity you wish.

Birth Name: Victoria Louise Dela Vega

Stage/Professional Name: Tori

Birthday: June 4, 1998

Nationality: Filipino

Birthplace: Philippines

Height: 5”1

Weight: 102 lb (46 kg)

Occupation: Music Producer, Songwriter, Choreographer, Entertainer

Nicknames: Vic-vic, Tori, Mini Mochi, Pao-pao

Language: Filipino, English, Korean

Voice Claim: IU

Close Friends (Outside of BTS):

Park Jenna (Roommate/Best Friend)

Lee Suhyun

Park Robert (Jenna’s Cousin/Best Friend)

Woozi

Seungkwan

Vernon

Potential Love Interests:

Suga

Woozi

RM

Tori’s Current Variety Shows:

Knowing Brothers

Sister’s Slam Dunk

Battle Trip

Fun Facts About Tori:

Her nicknames, Vic-Vic and Pao-pao, were created by her family. Pao-pao was derived from her original nickname, ‘Siopao’. It was a nickname made by her close relatives and cousins because of her chubby cheeks as a child that was reminiscent of a siopao (steamed pork bun). Vic-vic, on the other hand, was a nickname her parents coined out of her first name while she was still in her Mom’s womb.

Her nickname, Mini Mochi, was made by the ARMYs. The ARMYs gave her the nickname Mini Mochi because she and Jimin had similar personalities. Due to her small height, she was often dubbed as his mini version.

Tori was more of an artist growing up. She used to spend hours drawing people in various scenarios and situations, including funerals and murder, in notebooks her parents bought her.

When she reached high school, she moved onto writing stories and poems and stopped drawing altogether until college, where she began to reignite her love for art.

Her current hobbies include cross-stitching, watercolor calligraphy, and reading.

Tori was a fan of Korean variety shows. She used to watch clips of various shows all the time. This was what triggered her interest in Korean culture and later on, Kpop.

She never knew how to play a musical instrument until six months before she began producing music.

One of her best friends taught her how to dance while she was still working her day job in the Philippines. They danced together in a studio her friend would rent out but had to stop after her friend decided to start a dance academy of his own in Seoul. She continued dancing though, either by herself in her apartment or in pop up classes all over Manila.

She spent three years in Singapore working as a video producer and director for a small production company. During her stay, she learned how to play the guitar and how to produce music out of boredom. She was forced to leave when her company closed unexpectedly.

Her growing interest in music production led her to a fellowship program BigHit Entertainment organized in the Philippines. Under the program, she was able to work with talented music producers and songwriters in BigHit and improve her skills. Her natural talent in making music impressed two of the producers which led to her being hired into the company.

She became an entertainer after her viral appearance on Knowing Brothers during a special episode focused on the staff and crew of idols. Her appearance on the show was the most searched item for two whole weeks, leading to a second appearance and eventually a permanent spot on the show.

She learned Korean by herself through online sources and conversations with her roommate turned best friend, Jenna, in Korea.

Tori was often known as “the girl BTS talks about all the time” prior to her first appearance on Knowing Brothers.

Her close relationship with BTS is met with both positive and negative comments. Supportive fans would often thank her for keeping BTS happy and give her small gifts if ever they spot her in public. Jealous and mean fans, on the other hand, often bash her online for everything she does and would try to drag her down.

She is a big fan of Bigbang, AKMU, Seventeen, Shinee, and BTS (well, duh), all of which she got to work with.

Tori is often described as the luckiest Kpop Fan in the world as she got to not only meet her biases but also work with them and develop close friendships with them.

A very drunk Namjoon once knocked on her door to cry over a lost puppy he didn’t have and give her a teddy bear he stole from a kid. (funny story: this was a completely random idea that popped into my head that I decided to add hehe)

Tori is known as a workaholic which worries her friends and family.

When not on-camera or out in public, Tori would call the BTS members by their real names.