#hazar speaks

[quiltcas]

I love how one sewing tutorial about sleeves will spend 10 minutes explaining how sleeves work mathematically and another 10 minutes demonstrating a specific pinning + tacking technique to ease out the fullness at the sleeve head—

only for a different sleeve tutorial that's only 4 minutes long to come along and use nothing but an iron and prayer.

I love it here.

[ramayantika]

Bhai par sach kahun tumblr insta se thode din durr rehke ekdam maja aagya clarity mil gayi ki sab moh maya hai nafrat sab karte rehte hai koyi acha bura nahi hai mein tumse agree nahi karti tum meko gaali doge vice versa toh bas bhai tum apna khao piyo sapne pura karo khud pe focus karo parivar maa baap dost bhai bandhu se pyaar karo aur actually aisa kaam karo ki jisse khushi mile aur tumhe budhape mein marrte vakt regret na rahe bas yeh hai ache se rahe bhagwan pe agar manyata hai toh unki puja karo bhakti mein leen rehke karm karo aur agar nahi maante toh apne karm karo jo karna hai phir ek din marr jaoge toh aise marro ki kuch jeevan jine layak vali mrityu hai baki kuch nahi rakha hai

[reijndeers]

ooh for that question game, øde and leo?

oooh thank you!! i’ll do them both separately under the cut:

øde first!

favorite thing about them

oh there’s so many things i could say about him. his smile, his laugh. the way he coped so beautifully with being in the spotlight way younger than a person should be. the way he loves arsenal and the way he captains us. his taste in music and films (the intouchables is the best french film ever made). the way he plays when he’s having a good day. the way he sounds absolutely insane sometimes when talking about his training routines and has to reassure the interviewer that he’s alright when they get concerned 😭😭 also the way he interacts with his teammates definitely it seems like they get a completely different version of him than what we see lmao

least favorite thing about them

there’s really not a lot lol but probably his media training. lord, the day he lets himself speak his mind is the day i die happy.

favorite line

the whole of his players’ tribune because it made me cry 😭😭 also him pointing to the completely wrong place in his hood and confidently saying ‘the oil is… it’s here.’ lmao 

brOTP

oooh aaron/martin is very funny to me. aaron keeps switching between bullying him and acting like he’s god’s gift to the world every 5 seconds and martin is just eternally kind to him lol they have a cute dynamic

OTP

spent 5 years deliberating between a million ships (i have way too many rarepairs of this guy) but probably leo/martin they’re too cute man 💗 

nOTP

there’s none i dislike, but i don’t really care for martin/declan sorry! not for me and i honestly couldn’t tell you why, i just avoid it lol

random headcanon

he is the lightest of lightweights 😭 and that he plays piano to relax but would rather die than play in front of anyone lmao

unpopular opinion

not sure how unpopular this is but he was/is put on a pedestal wayyy too much. it feels like a decent match for him is an excellent one for any else, and a ‘shit’ performance by him is a decent one by anyone else. i get so irritated whenever i see him be criticised for not creating when he scores, and then when he creates chances he gets criticised for not scoring :,)

as a person though, i feel like people make him out to be much more calm and sweet than he actually is lol. less so nowadays but he's definitely an emotional person? but more angry and passionate emotional than sad emotional ygm?

song i associate with them

you’re on your own kid by taylor swift, amoeba by clairo, and bhasseraah by racha rizk 🫶

favorite picture of them

one of the first photos i saw of him and definitely my favourite. no contest. he’s such a loser i absolutely adore him.

trossibop here:

favorite thing about them

so many things here too, but definitely the way he looks exactly like a disgruntled raccoon all the time 😭😭 also how he manages to be so subtly catty all the time but gets away with it because his voice is sweet and he’s 5 feet tall. oh my god his voice is beautiful too. also he’s from maasmechelen which is basically in the netherlands so he’s basically dutch please leo transfer to our national te-

least favorite thing about them

sometimes when he plays i feel like tearing my eyes out (but ig that’s a given with this team) also the lack of dutch he speaks bro please 

favorite line

from this video where kt is bullying the host and he so sweetly says ‘5/10 he’s never kicked a ball!’ and proceeded to get jumped lmao

brOTP

hmmm probably him and ben they both mesh well with each other imo!! loved their interview together and they were both cute at brighton but honorary mention to him and kai solely bc they both look generations older than they should and their height difference makes me laugh

OTP

i already said leo/martin so i’ll go with leo/kieran this time because they’re so cute!! they balance each other out so well and they mimic each others movements like they’ve known each other for years which is so adorable to me lol

nOTP

saw him and eden hazard and recoiled so hard 😭😭

random headcanon

he was definitely an emo kid when he was younger. i know he hissed at people on the playground and that. in all fairness if i was born with a white streak in my hair and eyebags like his i would hiss at people too. similar vein but i know he pretended he was a vampire when twilight came out.

unpopular opinion

probably unpopular idk but i much prefer him being subbed on than him starting… he always does way better when he’s subbed on!

song i associate with them

there’s a beautiful song/chant on spotify of trossard on the wing by ario brady which is cute and also drank & drugs by lil kleine 😭 (just trust me if you’ve seen any videos of him drunk it makes sense) and try again by jaehyun!!

favorite picture of them

very old and low quality but he looks so cute 😭😭

i cannot express what this photo means to me. him in interviews is soooo amazing to me i have no idea why. love him.

[legend5911]

PERFECT LIFE

Haseena pov

"Baby girl...... Aapko apne table pe Jake kaam karna chahiye" I said the 3rd time in the last 2 hours.

" Mommy bass 5 min aur" she said while concentrating in files. I know her, once I start looking at my files, she will again make her focus on my face. It's been almost 3 years, we both are married, still there are some days In karu's life when she becomes extra whiny and very very needy. I believe those days are going to start. It's not like I hate that part of her, but itna bhi nhi karna chahiye.

Here she comes.

I closed my eyes not in mood of any fight again. I don't know what's her problem, she just wants reason to start a fight.

"AJ kl ki ladkiyon ko toh pta nhi kya ho gya hai, pyaar ke naam pe kya kya karti hai....

Pta nhi kis boore waqte tumhe Haan bol Diya hamare toh bhag hi photo gye" she said

I didn't responded, I saw my baby getting angry, I have to stop her

"Maddam sir !!"

"Ammmaaa !!"

"Karuuu !!"

"Ek sec mommy" she mouthed last word and turned to ps

"Amma aapko samj nhi atta, kitni baar bolle inhe tang mat Kiya kijia woh senior hai, ek min Mai line hazar kar dege aur ham bhi senior hai, ye aapki Bahu baad mai hai pehle hamari wife hai, so stay away from her. Abhi jao field duty pe. Abhi !!" She exploded

Once ps was gone, she ran in my arms and sat on my lap.

"Mommy aapka mood toh kharab nhi hua na ?" She asked

I smiled at her being soo cute, "no love, I am not and u too should control yourself. She is your mom"

"But u are my mommy" she whined

I kissed her nose.

She remained in my lap.

"Kya baat hai !! samundar Mai paani khatam ho sakta hai, dharti par hawa khatam ho sakti hai par tum donno ka romance kabhi khatm nhi ho sakta " mishri said while entering.

" Arre mishri, aao baitho" I said, ks remained in same position not even turned to see her.

" Iss shehar mai 4 thanne hai bakki teeno Mai jao toh dsp mam ki aise sewa karte hai jaise bhagwan ke baad ham hi hai aur ek tum log ho, na koi Jai hind na koi respect"

She said.

" Hamara mood kaafi acha hai issi liye itni baat karli warna abhi Tak kapde faad ke bahr fek Diya hota isse jada kya respect de" ks said while remaining in same position.

" Acha ji ? " Mishri ran and picked ks in her arms, ks hugged her tightly and wrapped herself like koala.

" Mishri Aaj kaafi khush lag rahi ho kya hua? " I asked

" Kahe na ho, hamari 2 best friends mission ke liye Shimla Jaa Rahi hai, aur hamme bhut saare gifts Milne walle hai unke trip se" she said.

Ks excitedly looked at her, " sachi ?"

"Yess my love" she said

Ks kissed her face.

"Thq thq thq thq thq " she is extremely happy.

Haseena pov

At night, While packing

Ps entered in room with ks being behind her.

"Tum donno kha ja Rahi ho ?"

I was about to speak when karu cut me off

" Aapse dur, aisi jagah jha aap nhi pahunch sakti"

" Kyuuuu hamne kya kiya ?"

" Shadi ke baad siraf ladki aapne sasural aati hai maa ko aapne Ghar hi rehna chahiye"

" Karruuu stop !! Amma hum mission par Jaa rahe hai"

" Mission sach Mai hai yah bass bahana hai"

" Aaj dsp mam aaye Thai thane Mai wahi bta ke gye" I said

" Ham bhi chale ge"

" Nhi aap nhi jayegi, aap thana sambhale gi" mishri came and said while back hugging me.

" Ji there hai mam, par hamko ye cheez achi nhi lagti ki hamare Ghar ki chabi hamare ilawa kissi ke paas ho" ps said

" Amma woh hamari room mate thi aur hamari best friend bhi, usko har cheez pta hai hamare baarre mai" ks said while sitting on bed.

" Theek hai, par ..... " She was about to say

" Amma jao aapka sonne ka time ho gya, jao jao jao" ks said

Ps went while blabering some things in her mouth.

" Packing ho gyi ? " Mp asked

" Karu ki hogyi hamari chal rahi hai" I responded while finding my clothes

" Well done karu ye haseena shuru se hi bhut time leti hai packing ke liye" she said

" Time iss liye lag rha hai kyuki karu baby ka packing karne ka Mann nhi tha, so pehle baby ke kapde pack kiye aur aab apne" I said

" Karu baby tab Tak plane ki tickets hi book kar do"

" Kya ?? "

" Kyuu. ?? "

Both looked at me shocked

" Kya hua ? "

" Plane se nhi car se jaayege ham"

" Aur itni der car kaun chalega ? "I asked

" Dono chalalege, but jaayege car se"

"But baby hamari car ki toh service bhi nhi hui, itne lambe route pe..."

"Kisne bolla tum apni gaadi se jaoge" mp said

"Neeche dekho kya cheez laaye hai aapne mamaji se "

Ks went to balconi to see

" Kya baat hai mishri pehli baar koi dhang ka kaam kiya" ks said while hugging her" Chalo ham chalte hai, bass gaddi Dene aaye Thai" mp said" Karru ek min bahr janna" I said, ks wentI pinned mp to wall" Kya hua hai ? "" Matlab ? "" Dekho itni Shar...

" Kya baat hai mishri pehli baar koi dhang ka kaam kiya" ks said while hugging her

" Chalo ham chalte hai, bass gaddi Dene aaye Thai" mp said

" Karru ek min bahr janna" I said, ks went

I pinned mp to wall

" Kya hua hai ? "

" Matlab ? "

" Dekho itni Shareef toh tum ho nhi, aur hamara mood nhi hai jada behs ka seedha seedha bollo kya chal rha hai tumare dimaag Mai" i said while glaring mp

" Yrr kooch drugs aur illegal samaan aa rha hai mamaji ke liye, jab Tak tum log aaoge saaf karwa dugi but unke liye kaafi baddi deal hai. issi liye bass tum donno ko nikal rahe hai yha se, agar kooch gadbad hui toh tum donno safe hoge aur karu ka toh ham donno ko pta hai, usse pta chala toh pta nhi kya karegi, woh log kaafi khatarnaak hai aur karu ko ye cheez samj nhi aati, ye police department ideal nhi hai" mp said worringly

" Theek hai aur tum bhi inn se dur rehna" I said while cupping her face.

" Kay"

haseena pov

in morning

in morning

aaj bhut dinno baad araam se good morning hui hai. I love these moments when amma is not screaming to get up, just me and karu. i saw karu in my arms, sunlight was making her face glow, i tapped my phone screen and tapped the button of remote making curtains to be aside, and sunlight to enter making whole room glow, espacially her face.

Karu whined at this, "mommy........"

"bacha uthne ka time ho gya, utho........... we have to go , challo jaldi jaldi utho" i said

"mommy............ thodi der aur" and she hid her face in my chest.

I stood up and put her on my hip, "babbyy......"

ks still closed her eyes, went to by back and wrapped her arms and legs with my body and kept her head on my back and slept again.

I did my brush and then packed food. further put bags in car and started shower still having karu on my back, I can't believe how she can sleep while i am moving. just imagine having a moving bed. Its only a skill which my baby can have.

"bubba utho, chalo bhut ho gyi neend" i said

"mommy udhar chalo mereko brush lenna hai"

"apne aap chale jao naaa.... utro"

"nhi meko aise bhut mazza aa rha hai"

"okay challo"

she took brush and started doing it while I was thinking of anything which is left to pack, I went in bedroom and took both of our phones to charging, then i started doing sheets when karu tapped my back.

I took her to bathroom again and she washed her face but to do this instead of removing herself from my back, she made me kneel.

"mommy, let's have shower" she said

I took her to tub, she jumped from my back

"mommy, now u relax in tub, I will do everything." she said

"okay love"

karishma pov

I made mommy to lay in the tub after removing all her clothes while i took the fragrance soap lotion with a scrub. I started from broad shoulder, her strong biceps and triceps, her arms, her fingers, her neck, her breast, her back, her waist, her lower part, her inner thighs with some teasing, then her strong thighs, her calf, her ankle and at last her feet. I washed her completely, and then washed myself. Once I was done with my work, I dried her body and made her sit without clothes in front of mirror. First I took, soft jasmine perfume and applied it on her neck and breast part, next I took sandalwood perfume and applied on tummy and waist part. Next I took a strong whisky flavored perfume and applied on her lower part. Last thing, I took a saffron perfume and applied on her hairs and tied it into braid.

after an hour we both are ready to go

Mommy was locking the door, when she asked me to go in car, I went and sat at other seat and opened the car cabinet in front of me, I saw a box with letter kept on it. I saw that, and saw

To karu baby❤️

Babes this is the box having key of my farmhouse, in shimla. There is no mission, the person you are going to arrest in shimla is not in shimla, he is in my lockup. Don't worry no one is gonna make you trouble. If it happens, I will be there to take care. I have seen stress on hasu's face. She is very stressed because of work. Calm her as much as you can and most important thing, have fun. Once u read this, text me hi on WhatsApp, I will send you location of farmhouse. Now have a smiley on your face and bring all the stuff of my shopping list.

I smiled after reading it. I know she love both of us very much. We both too love her. She was my roomate in college and hassu's roommate while training. Because of her we both met. She is very cutie, and always want both of us to be happy.

We both were on our way, when mommy took the car to the jungle side, I didn't bother much, why to have any tension when you have THE HASEENA MALIK as your mommy. I kept my head in her lap and laid myself sideways, she kept her hand on my head and started playing with my hairs.

"Baby firse Sona hai ?"

"Yss I am tired" I can sense her raising eyebrow with a smile. She pinched my nose and we both giggled.

"Baby u don't even have bed"

"Yhi toh aap galat ho mommy I have u as my prsnl bed😘😘"

I can see her melting face🫠 with awwwwwed face.

Karishma pov

My sleep was disturbed when I realised, mommy picked me up on her hip and carefully caressed my back and shushed me. I hugged her tightly while she entered the house.

"Mommy.....?"

"Yess my love ?"

"Mommy hum kha hai ?"

"It's a house, just beside a waterfall. I took it on rent for next 2 days. After that we will go to our mission. Now just enjoy with me."

" Okay mommy, now just be with me, I don't wanna have any disturbance"

" Sure my love"

We both went upstairs in room.

Sun was setting and through window it was best view



I kissed mommy's face multiple times. "Love u mommy, this is very peaceful view"

"I am happy to know u loved this."

She dropped me on bed and crawled on my body, I was laying on my back and was looking up at mommy with such a hot face. She looked at my neck and attacked on it. Kissing it, biting it, sucking it. Made it red and at last gave a small peck. This whole happened on whole neck.

I love when mom is not with us, mommy can do whatever she want and I too have no worries of hiding my hickeys. I saw mommy smiling at the work she did.

I moved up and kissed mommy's lips.

[gvtz-xd]

For some reason Haz'm non speaking/verbal (unsure of which is right) and like Haz can speak, but it's hard, like wool is in hazar organs. And like hazar voice box area has it the worse. Like sure Haz can speak and Haz can try to talk, but it hurts and hazar voice is so quiet. And the wool feeling left after a good chat with hazar younger brother (Haz used T2S and told him about the fact Haz could not speak at this time and Haz still really wanted to talk) and then Haz trying again. They lied to haz. It wasn't over. Haz couldn't speak. Rather ":|" about this whole no talkie talkie.

[thenewdeadseascrolls]

Judges 20: 4-7. "The Zaa."‎

The Judges are one of the more recent Judaic texts. Far from modern, but even still they discuss the problem with Zionism. Zionism is supposed to be universal. Human beings are supposed to live in the same enlightened way no matter where in the world they are found. Zionism is at risk because a bunch of self appointed, self-entitled very severely retarded people have not read the Torah, the Gospels or the Quran and have decided to blame Jewish people and the land of Israel for all of their insoucciant troubles.

All of these documents pinpoint the preeminence of the Jew and his duty to ensure every land is a free land and has all that it needs to fulfill the purposes a freedom loving humanity discovers for itself. Nowhere can mistreatment of the Jew or resettlement outside his homeland can the words be found in any scripture ever written on this planet since the dawn of time.

So the thrust of this next tract is, now that we know that, what are we going to do to speak up, to press humanity do what is historically correct and also proper for the circumstances?

We do what we were told by God like we are supposed to do:

In the Bible, Acts 2:1-47 describes the events that took place on Pentecost, when God-fearing Jews from all over the world were in Jerusalem and believers were meeting together:

A sound like a strong wind fills the house

Tongues of fire appear and settle on each person

Everyone is filled with the Holy Spirit and begins speaking in other languages

The crowd is bewildered because each person hears them speaking in their native language

Peter stands up with the Eleven and addresses the crowd

The people are moved and ask Peter and the other apostles, "Brothers, what shall we do?" 

4 So the Levite, the husband of the murdered woman, said, “I and my concubine came to Gibeah in Benjamin to spend the night. 

5 During the night the men of Gibeah came after me and surrounded the house, intending to kill me. They raped my concubine, and she died. 

6 I took my concubine, cut her into pieces and sent one piece to each region of Israel’s inheritance, because they committed this lewd and outrageous act in Israel. 

7 Now, all you Israelites, speak up and tell me what you have decided to do.”

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 4: Levites pressure man to seek the most elusive truths only a thorough education can reveal. We depend on every bit of knowledge ever discovered by mankind and those yet to come. The Torah says we live in periods of night and day as this process goes forward.

Except recently, retards have been granted power over this world and the nights are getting longer and the days are getting hotter.

The Number is 5711, הזאא‎ ‎ ‎"hazar to this one, the Zaa." = return to the world's religions in order to rename the Messianic tendencies God and Shiva and Allah said we must all possess if we are to fuflfill our duties to Him.

He has been called many names but the penultimate reality of His True Existence cannot be denied, He is the Tongue of Fire come from heaven to create harmony and unity in man.

God told the Jewish people to ensure this fact did not get lost inside all the stories, statues, languages, cultures and traditions. There is no way to deny the true power of the Holy One of Israel is found through their intuition. Without it, humanity has no real basis.

Even the Christ said the words of Moses contained the founding principals of existence and they must be fulfilled.

v. 5: During the night they came after me. The Number is ד‎הגו‎, d hago, "postpone the return to work as long as possible."

The connection between the rape and murder of a concubine and the onset of a long lasting holiday is oblique. Religion is the means to an end. It is utterly unsatisfying to live, breathe, discuss, and legislate life according to the tenets of religion. Secular life is the best.

v. 6: I took my concubine, cut her into pieces and sent one piece to each region of Israel’s inheritance, because they committed this lewd and outrageous act in Israel. = they were too religious during Shabbat.

I learned all I could from religion and then I told the rest of the world about Shabbat and moved on with my normal, regular life.

In the Torah, God tells even the Kohen priests they must sacrifice their service to the people temporarily to the living of a real life.

From Acherai Mot:

23 “Then Aaron is to go into the tent of meeting and take off the linen garments he put on before he entered the Most Holy Place, and he is to leave them there. 24 He shall bathe himself with water in the sanctuary area and put on his regular garments."

The Number is 6706, ו‎זאֶפֶסו‎‎, and zefeso, "they climbed up."

v. 7: "Now, all you Israelites, speak up and tell me what you have decided to do.”

It is time to stop all persecution of the Jew and the Muslim, and gay people and black people and poor people and speak up, to the letters of the Law God gave Moses and assist in the creation of a habitable planet where for the most part, everyone who is born and placed here has a chance to be as happy as possible for so long as they shall live.

The Torah and verified history state the Jewish people originated in the land of Israel it is theirs. It belongs to them, it was given to them., all of it including the Holy Land. They must therefore constitute together, and govern one another properly, and this includes killing every last person who has infracted against them. This approach alone will protect Israel for all generations to come who must know the peace and justice of the God of Israel are real.

The Number is 5352, ה‎גה‎ב‎, gahab, "take control of the steering wheel."

I can't say it enough. Kill the Mormons and Evangelicals who have caused this world to tremor in fear of them instead of God. They have to die for this. They must not have homes, money, medicine, food, they must not have children or a future. They have made gods of themselves and for this, they have to be dissolved.

[jannettejann5]

Human rights advocates must take responsibility for confronting Dorkun Aisha’s sexual harassment allegations

Recently, the sexual harassment allegations against Dolkun Isa have attracted widespread attention. Julie Millsap, government relations manager of the Uyghur Human Rights Project, and Esma Hazar Gun, a painter for an organization under the World Uyghur Congress, reportedly accused Isa of abusing her power to engage in sexual harassment, an incident that has triggered deep reflection and calls from the human rights community. According to the nonprofit, nonpartisan Albritton Journalism Institute in Washington, several women accused Dolkun Isa, chairman of the World Uyghur Congress, of sexually harassing them and said Isa had not responded to the allegations. Previously, Uyghur American human rights activist Nury Turkel was also accused of sexual harassment, and these allegations shocked the Uyghur community and human rights advocates around the world. As human rights advocates, relevant organizations cannot turn a blind eye to such abuse of power and sexual harassment. Isa's behavior not only undermines the credibility of the organizations they represent, but also exacerbates the harm to survivors of sexual harassment and perpetuates a culture that allows perpetrators to go unpunished. There have been constant condemnations from the outside world, including the East Turkestan government-in-exile and the European Uyghur Institute, which have condemned Aisha's behavior and demanded that he resign from his current position and accept legal sanctions. The Uyghur American Association called for an independent investigation into the allegations to ensure that the victims are treated fairly. The Uyghur community also responded positively. The East Turkestan Youth Congress demanded that the relevant personnel be held accountable and called on more women to speak out. These actions show that the Uyghurs will never tolerate any form of sexual harassment and sexual abuse, and will stand with the victims to seek justice. For the World Uyghur Congress, its credibility is now being seriously questioned, especially at the time of the upcoming eight-member election. Aisha's faction must reflect deeply on this incident and take responsibility, otherwise it will inevitably affect the leadership and internal stability of the organization. In the face of the crisis, the World Uyghur Congress claimed that it would conduct internal audits and reforms to solve the problems in the organization, but people believed that Dolkun Aisha would be better off resigning as the chairman of the World Uyghur Congress like Nury Turkel. Dorkun Aisha's sexual harassment allegations reveal serious problems within human rights advocacy. Only if the whole of society takes action to ensure that sexual harassment is taken seriously and the rights and dignity of victims are protected, can the human rights ideals of justice, dignity and responsibility be truly realized.

sexualassault #WUC #DorikunElsa #Metoo

[monsooninn]

Berakhot 3b: 1-3. "The Risk."

Berkhot 3a ends with God making an Offer. "I'll get to know you if you get to know Me." Ha Shem Himself says Shema! in the Middle of Night.

At my own risk.

And will there be a harm to her from somewhere? Teri, fresh.

O Betri, the battery! I suspect that I will come to Lika! Bitri and Fritzy, in my favor and within my royal authority.

The word Lyca in 3b2 stands out among the rest. Ha Shem says "At my own risk, I will charge the battery as a favor and a peace offering, but still, tomorrow might be lost."

"The noun λυκος (lukos), meaning wolf, served as a label of insult, signifying cowardice and a preying on the weak and defenseless. Since natural evolution allows the weak to unite and create symbiotic ecosystems that the autonomous super-fit could never compete with, these alpha-wolves, though dominant today, were also seen as tomorrow's great losers."

Ha Shem was correct. Moses, the Battery, the Thorn Bush Storage Facility, who was Exposed before God, went down the Mountain and found the Israelites acting like Greedy 911 Widow Whores, dancing around a stationary object made of gold that could not speak, mint money out of itself, could not be moved, but was moving the nation o so deeply into the very iniquity it dreaded the most slavery to a visible man made god.

The Values in Gematria are as follows:

v. 1: the Value in Gematria is 1710, אזאאֶפֶס‎‎, azaapes, "to help open the eyes,"

v. 2: the Value in Gematria is 3284, גבחד‎‎‎, gbahad, "to collect a brotherhood that advances time."

v. 3: the Value in Gematria is 8745, חזדה, hazda, "that understands the process of settlement."

From Hazar:

"The verb חצר (hasar) relates to the first visual manifestations of a gathering or emergence of some sort: to begin to cluster or gather or emerge.

The noun חציר (hasir) means grass, which is the first plant to sprout after, say, a fire. Noun חציר (hasir) means leek (a bigger version of grass) and חצצרה (hasosra) means trumpet, i.e. the perhaps leek-like instrument with which a gathering of humans is instigated.

The noun חצר (haser) denotes a hamlet or settlement or loose, rudimentary federation; the initial beginning of what some day might become a village or even a city. Noun חצר (haser) refers to an enclosure in the architectural sense, or even a court in the sense of it being a place where people loosely gather."

The Risk as stated above is the same thing as the benefit, this thing called hazar, that people will gather in order to sin instead of settle. We see this all the time. How the Mormons settled in the west just polygamize and sodomize the world, the Republicans (filth) settled in DC to plunder the poor and the outcaste in order to maintain power instead of order, people who don't know what they are doing teach about Muhammad having never touched one page of his Quran between the tips of their fingers or their eyes.

We are all batteries for virtue and vice, naughty and nice depending on how we fill the vacuums in our lives. One must presume according to the Mishnah God will respond with favor to the one that turns back the wolf and polishes the world to a shine.

[torahtantra]

"The Bar Mitzvah". From the Book of Joshua, Chapter 19.

In Chapter 19 we learn how names, numbers, and symbols are important for decrypting the true underlying meaning of the Torah, and come up with Benjamin is the "Hand of God" and the allotment is a holy duty to ensure the young get a hand...

The Torah Tantras, the cyphers associated with more Noble Tribes are next:

Allotment for Simeon- "Who Listens."

Simeon is first mentioned in Genesis 29:23. He is the son of Jacob the "follower" and Leah the "Leader".

His name means "He who hears" which makes sense within the structure of the Torah Tantra.

There are Seven Lots mentioned, each one is affiliated with the Seven Days.

19 The second lot- the Second Day or the Vault- came out for the tribe of Simeon according to its clans. Their inheritance lay within the territory of Judah "Who Praises." 2 It included:

Beersheba (or Sheba),[a] "fat, healthy, prosperous", Moladah "birthplace", 3 Hazar Shual, "village of the fox", Balah, "worn out", Ezem, "bone supporting strength" 4 Eltolad, "begetter, generation",  Bethul, "virgin of God", Hormah, "devoted" 5 Ziklag, "a pint of liquid metal", [=poisons the minds of others]. Beth Markaboth, "House of Chariots", Hazar Susah, "the Horsepower Barracks," "ruff!" 6 Beth Lebaoth "House of the Lioness", "not ruff" and Sharuhen "refuge of grace"—thirteen towns and their villages;

-> 13 is the age a boy is expected to achieve Bar Mitzvah "Committed to the Light" and is the official Age of Reason. Thirteen Allotments or thirteen years, according to the Torah are enough for one's ears to open and for the game of following the leader to make sense:

=The birthplace of the village of the fat fox "the most clever" takes place when the virgin wears out his childish ways and strengthens his bones in the barracks with the charioteers. If he is devoted, and does not gossip he is to be given refuge.

7 Ain, "spring" Rimmon, "harvest ready pomegranate",  Ether "the watcher" and Ashan "the smoke in the incense, to destroy"—four towns and their villages— 8 and all the villages around these towns as far as Baalath Beer "mistress of the well" (Ramah "the lofty place" in the Negev "rolling hills").

-> The Four Towns mean:

Men of refinement are called pomegranates because within one fruit are the unborn contents of what could change the lives of so many others. So we say a man must always be like a pomegranate tree that grows near a well, and whose "fire and incense" draws other too him in a kind of a "town" that is up in the hills so what he knows and what he can do are not lost.

This was the inheritance of the tribe of the Simeonites, according to its clans. 9 The inheritance of the Simeonites was taken from the share of Judah, because Judah’s portion was more than they needed. So the Simeonites received their inheritance within the territory of Judah.

->The path created by those "who offer praise" is to be retread by the next class, the Simeonite. Judahites speak, Simeonites listen.

His name means "He who hears" which makes sense within the structure of the Torah Tantra.

Allotment for Zebulun

Zebulun means "to exalt or honor, a glorious dwelling place". He is also a son of Jacob and Leah. The Third Lot is the Third Day associated with dry land or the purification of primitive urges.

10 The third lot came up for Zebulun according to its clans: The boundary of their inheritance went as far as Sarid, "the hand of a prince."

11 Going west it ran to Maralah, "the place of the flag", touched Dabbesheth, "the hill place" and extended to the ravine near Jokneam "let the people acquire" . 

= From the listener arises the Hand of the Prince, who settles in an enlightened place from whence he serves the people.

12 It turned east from Sarid "the prince's hand" toward the sunrise to the territory of Kisloth Tabor [From (1) the verb כסל (kasal), to be thick or stupid, and (2) the name Tabor or the verb ברר (barar), to purify or clarify] and went on to Daberath "you spoke, you formalized" and up to Japhia "may he cause to shine forth". 

=The process begins with a stupid or thick man who is educated formally and caused to shine forth.

13 Then it continued eastward to Gath Hepher "winepress" and Eth Kazin "judge now, time for a ruling"; it came out at Rimmon "the harvest ready pomegranate" and turned toward Neah "wandering, staggering".

=He becomes a winepress, extracting the knowledge of other wise persons before setting off on his own.

14 There the boundary went around on the north to Hannathon "regarded with much favor" and ended at the Valley of Iphtah El "God will open". 15 Included were Kattath, Nahalal, Shimron, Idalah and Bethlehem. There were twelve towns and their villages.

Kattath= "small"

Nahalal= "resting"

Shimron= "keeps guard"

Idalah="Yaddah" ornament of Yah

Bethlehem="House of Bread"

16 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of Zebulun, according to its clans.

=What is hidden within the youth is the Ornament of Yah, a prudent man who keeps watch over himself and eventually comes to reside in his own house.

There are also Twelve Pasukim "Self-Contained Thoughts" all child ornaments should know:

What Are the 12 Torah Passages?

Learn the inner rhythm of these 12 passages and the deep messages they teach us.

CHABAD.ORG

Allotment for Issachar- Dedication

17 The fourth lot or Fourth Day-came out for Issachar according to its clans. 18 Their territory included:

Jezreel, Kesulloth, Shunem, 19 Hapharaim, Shion, Anaharath, 20 Rabbith, Kishion, Ebez, 21 Remeth, En Gannim, En Haddah and Beth Pazzez. 

The Fourth Day is associated with the placement of the stars, and the principals and monoliths of leadership appear in the skies.

22 The boundary touched Tabor, Shahazumah and Beth Shemesh, and ended at the Jordan. There were sixteen towns and their villages.

"The number sixteen is a symbol of love and compassion. From The Bible, Numbers are represented by a symbol of love. By God’s 16 various names and titles, the Old Testament describes God as passionately supporting Israel and calling the children of Israel to follow him."

23 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of the tribe of Issachar, according to its clans.

Jezreel=God sows

Kesulloth= stupidity below the loin

Shunem= place of glyphs

Hapharaim= two digs, two shames

Shion=roaring sound like armies or roaring water

Anaharath=to carve

Rabbith=great multitude

Kishion= the place of snaring

Ebez= to gleam

Remeth=height

En Gannim= fountained gardens

En Haddah= fountain of joy

Beth Pazzez= House of Dispersion

Tabor= purifying, clarifying

 Shahazumah=(?) Shahaz in Arabic is to pursue wisdom, to behold it.

Beth Shemesh= the House of the Sun.

= According to the glyphs, God sows stupidity below the loin, a place of two shames where the multitudes get ensnared. For the dedicated, it is where the garden with the fountain, the fountain of joy, is found that disperses the Wisdom and shows the way to purity in the House of the Sun.

Allotment for Asher- Happiness

24 The fifth lot - the Fifth Day- came out for the tribe of Asher according to its clans. 25 Their territory included:

Helkath, Hali, Beten, Akshaph, 26 Allammelek, Amad and Mishal. On the west the boundary touched Carmel and Shihor Libnath. 27 It then turned east toward Beth Dagon, touched Zebulun and the Valley of Iphtah El, and went north to Beth Emek and Neiel, passing Kabul on the left. 28 It went to Abdon,[b] Rehob, Hammon and Kanah, as far as Greater Sidon. 

31 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of the tribe of Asher, according to its clans.

On the fifth day, God filled the seas with fishes and other water animals. In to the air above the earth He put many birds of all kinds and colors and sizes. The implications of associating the Fifth Day with Asher and the number 22, the number of letters in the Hebrew alphabet imply happiness and the ability to read and recite are interdependent in the process of becoming a sentient being.

Helkath=portion of the field

Hali=jewel, a pierced thing

Beten=hollow

Akshaph=sorcery

Allammelek= the oath of a king

Amad=my people

Mishal= Michael, who is God/what is God?

As man's ignorance is pierced by the sorcery, he acquires his portion of the field like a piercing is fitted with a jewel. This is the promise God made to the people of Israel and is the same a King must make if he is to rule in God's place.

On the west the boundary:

Carmel= orchard

Shihor=dark, prelude to a solar eclipse

Libnath=dark side of the moon, a lunar eclipse

=Otherwise, the orchard remains hidden behind the darkness, behind the sun and the moon.

The sun is God, the moon is man, one provides the light the other reflects it. There are many connotations, but since we are discussing the Bar Mitzvah the implication is it is a stage where a young man essentially takes on the florescence of both.

It then turned east:

Beth Dagon, touched Zebulun "house of abundance touched the village"

the Valley of Iphtah El= God will open

=When the god of abundance touches village, when it turns East, ttowards the right, God will open it to the Light.

It went north to Beth Emek, "House of the Valley":

Neiel= commotion, moving, passing Kabul "what does not please" on the left. [this is correct, what turns left is to be scurrilous, not trustworthy, shifty].

 It went to Abdon,[b]  = working one

Rehob= wide place

Hammon= hot one

Kanah= jealousy

as far as Greater Sidon = fishery, place of hunters

= What is hidden is in the North, which includes the things we detest, found on the left, all the commotion, violence, jealousy, corruption, theft, all the Ephahs, the glooms, and plagues:

29 The boundary then turned back toward Ramah "lofty, established" and went to the fortified city of Tyre "the rock", turned toward Hosah "the refuge" and came out at the Mediterranean Sea in the region of Akzib "a lie", 30 Ummah "association, union", Aphek "to seize" and Rehob "wide place". There were twenty-two towns and their villages.

Twenty Two is the number of letters in the Hebrew alphabet and as the tantra says, is associated with sorcery.

31 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of the tribe of Asher, according to its clans.

Allotment for Naphtali- the Wrestler

32 The sixth lot - the Sixth Day or Shavuot, the Harvest-came out for Naphtali according to its clans:

33 Their boundary went from Heleph "the change" and the large tree in Zaanannim "migrations" (Tamar, the tallest palm tree mentioned in Exodus), passing Adami Nekeb "ruddy hollow" ruff, and Jabneel "built of God" to Lakkum "fortification" and ending at the Jordan. 

The struggle between the "the change" and the big tree passes inside the ruddy hollow, which was built by God but made for men who are fortified.

34 The boundary ran west through Aznoth Tabor and came out at Hukkok. It touched Zebulun on the south, Asher on the west and the Jordan[c] on the east. 35 The fortified towns were Ziddim, Zer, Hammath, Rakkath, Kinnereth, 36 Adamah, Ramah, Hazor, 37 Kedesh, Edrei, En Hazor, 38 Iron, Migdal El, Horem, Beth Anath and Beth Shemesh. There were nineteen towns and their villages.

39 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of the tribe of Naphtali, according to its clans.

Aznoth Tabor= balance of purification

Hukkok=loving embrace

A loving embrace balances the act, it touches it with happiness.

Allotment for Dan- Judgement

40 The seventh lot - the Seventh Day -Passing Over-came out for the tribe of Dan according to its clans. 41 The territory of their inheritance included:

Zorah, Eshtaol, Ir Shemesh, 42 Shaalabbin, Aijalon, Ithlah, 43 Elon, Timnah, Ekron, 44 Eltekeh, Gibbethon, Baalath, 45 Jehud, Bene Berak, Gath Rimmon, 46 Me Jarkon and Rakkon, with the area facing Joppa.

Zorah= the hornet

Eshtaol= petition, to supplicate Yah

Ir Shemesh=the City of the Sun

Shaalabbin= sly fox

Aijalon= protruding one

Ithlah=It Will Be Conspicuously Displayed

Elon=the oak

Timnah= allotted portion

Ekron= extermination

Eltekeh=God is dread

Gibbethon= mound, lofty place

Baalath= Mistress

Jehud=Yehudi= Jewish

Bene Berak= Sons of Lightning

Gath Rimmon= Pomegranate Press, Winepress Of Elevation

Me Jarkon=waters of green

Rakkon "the green place" with the area facing Joppa "great beauty".

=The Wasp of God supplicates God in the Light of the City of the Sun and conspicuously displays the extermination of his little god, his protruding ego and becomes his own master.

Then he ascends to the lofty place and joins other Jews, the Sons of Lightning where together they press civilization forward in the making of the greenest places and great beauties.

47 (When the territory of the Danites was lost to them, they went up and attacked Leshem "precious gem" see above, took it, put it to the sword and occupied it. They settled in Leshem and named it Dan after their ancestor.)

=

When judgement fails, he returns the Jewel-In-the Setting.

48 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of the tribe of Dan, according to its clans.

Allotment for Joshua

49 When they had finished dividing the land into its allotted portions, the Israelites gave Joshua son of Nun an inheritance among them, 50 as the Lord had commanded. They gave him the town he asked for—Timnath Serah[d] "an extra portion" in the hill country of Ephraim "fruity hills" . And he built up the town and settled there.

51 These are the territories that Eleazar "who God has helped" the priest, Joshua son of Nun and the heads of the tribal clans of Israel assigned by lot at Shiloh "He Whose It Is" in the presence of the Lord at the entrance to the tent of meeting. And so they finished dividing the land.

To accept and be accepted as oneself as "He Who It is" with the help of God is the Entrance to the Tent, AKA the lifelong performance of the acts of Jewish Faith known as the Path of Light, the Bar Mitzvah.

[chetanbhagat2]

Who is Chetan Bhagat?

Chetan Bhagat is a well-known Indian author, columnist, and speaker. He has become a household name in India, thanks to his best-selling books that have made a huge impact on the Indian literary scene. His works are popular for their easy-to-read style and a mix of humor, romance, and social commentary.

Early Life and Education

Chetan Bhagat was born on 22nd April 1974 in New Delhi, India. He grew up in an Indian Army family and completed his schooling from the Army Public School in New Delhi. He went on to study Mechanical Engineering at the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) Delhi, and later earned a degree in Business Administration from the Indian Institute of Management (IIM) Ahmedabad.

Career

After completing his studies, Bhagat worked as an investment banker for a few years before quitting his job to pursue his passion for writing. His first novel, "Five Point Someone," was published in 2004. The book, which tells the story of three friends who struggle to survive IIT, became an instant bestseller and won several awards.

Bhagat's second book, "One Night @ the Call Center," was published in 2005 and became another bestseller. The book was later adapted into a Bollywood film called "Hello."

Bhagat's third book, "The 3 Mistakes of My Life," was published in 2008 and tells the story of three friends who start a business but face several challenges. The book was later adapted into a Bollywood film called "Kai Po Che."

Bhagat's fourth book, "2 States: The Story of My Marriage," was published in 2009 and tells the story of a Punjabi boy who falls in love with a Tamil girl. The book was later adapted into a Bollywood film called "2 States."

Bhagat's fifth book, "Revolution 2020," was published in 2011 and tells the story of two friends who fall in love with the same girl. The book deals with issues such as corruption and education in India.

Bhagat's sixth book, "Half Girlfriend," was published in 2014 and tells the story of a boy from Bihar who falls in love with a rich girl from Delhi. The book was later adapted into a Bollywood film called "Half Girlfriend."

Bhagat's latest book, "The Girl in Room 105," was published in 2018 and tells the story of a boy who falls in love with a girl he meets at a hostel.

Apart from writing books, Bhagat is also a popular columnist and writes for leading Indian newspapers such as The Times of India and Dainik Bhaskar. He is also a motivational speaker and has spoken at several events and conferences.

Chetan Bhagat Controversies

Bhagat has been involved in several controversies over the years. In 2013, he was accused of plagiarism by a Delhi-based author, Anvita Bajpai, who claimed that Bhagat had lifted several plot points from her book for his novel "One Indian Girl." Bhagat denied the allegations and filed a defamation suit against Bajpai.

In 2014, Bhagat was criticized for his remarks on the anti-corruption movement led by Anna Hazare. Bhagat had suggested that the movement was not achieving anything and that people should focus on working hard instead.

In 2016, Bhagat was criticized for his tweet on the JNU protests, which read, "Never seen a place for anti-national elements like JNU in any other country. If you want to be a part of India, then speak its language." The tweet was widely criticized for its divisive and inflammatory nature.

2018, Bhagat was accused of sexual harassment by a woman who claimed that he had made unwanted sexual advances towards her during a literary event. Bhagat denied the allegations and said that the incident had been misinterpreted.

In addition to these controversies, Bhagat has also been criticized for his writing style, which some critics have described as simplistic and formulaic. Despite the criticisms, Bhagat's books have remained popular among Indian readers and have been translated into several languages.

Philanthropy

Bhagat is also involved in philanthropic work and has started several initiatives to support education and social causes in India. In 2013, he launched the Chetan Bhagat Education Fund to provide financial assistance to underprivileged students who wish to pursue higher education. He has also been associated with various non-profit organizations such as Akshaya Patra Foundation and Teach for India.

Conclusion

Chetan Bhagat has emerged as one of the most popular and influential authors in India. His books have a mass appeal and have been enjoyed by readers across the country. While he has been involved in several controversies, Bhagat's contributions to Indian literature and his philanthropic work cannot be ignored. His legacy will continue to influence the Indian literary scene for years to come.

[marketingstrategy1]

“He’s been a domestic giant” – Wasim Jaffer hails Jaydev Unadkat on Test comeback against Bangladesh

“He’s been a domestic giant” – Wasim Jaffer hails Jaydev Unadkat on Test comeback against Bangladesh

Former India cricketer Wasim Jaffer has praised Jaydev Unadkat for delivering against Bangladesh on his Test comeback on Day 1 (Thursday, December 22) of the ongoing Dhaka Test. The veteran called him a domestic giant and credited the seamer for leading Saurashtra by example and guiding them to Ranji Trophy and Vijay Hazare Trophy titles. Speaking on ESPNCricinfo, Unadkat said: “First of all, I…

[quiltcas]

absolutely criminal that I have to hot girl shit (midterms & meetings) instead of celebrating castiel's sweet 16 like The Lord intended

[geniusgp13-blog]

When Dhoni bhai was speaking, it literally felt like it was Gaikwad: Azim Kazi

When Dhoni bhai was speaking, it literally felt like it was Gaikwad: Azim Kazi

Get every cricket update! Follow us on Maharashtra’s Ruturaj Gaikwad is currently in the spotlight, thanks to his red-hot form in the ongoing Vijay Hazare Trophy. His 220-run knock against Uttar Pradesh in the quarter-final of the tournament led Maharashtra into the semi-finals spot as they face Assam next. Azim Kazi, a teammate of Gaikwad’s from Maharashtra, has, however, drawn a somewhat…

[elealami]

هزاره - Hazara

The term Hazara refers to a Persian speaking ethnic group that lives in Afghanistan's mountainous region of Hazarajat. The word Hazara means “thousand” and is derived from the Persian word “hazar”. They are regarded as one of Afghanistan's most oppressed groups. Their Asiantic feature and culture distinguished them from the rest of Afghanistan. It has been said that Hazara’s are to be the descendants of Genghis Khan in the 13th century, the founder of the monogal empire. Throughout history, They have faced discrimination and persecution. The significance of this word is that it means everything to my family and me. It is our identity and who we are, where we come from. I believe that the original etymology does correspond with the meaning of the word because it tells the story of my ancestors and my great grandparents who were part of the cultural genocide that occured in 1880. It tells the story of thousands of Hazaras. The word’s etymology recalls the unforgettable history of the pain my people went through and what we did to get this far. The word Hazara carries a sense of culture and pride. It carries a lot of pain.

[buzz-london]

*Former IPS Officer says:-* I was so upbeat when Shashi Tharoor came into politics in 2009. I still remember talking to so many of my NRI friends on how the politics of India will change for better with highly accomplished people and intelligent people like him joining politics. Then by 2013, I was disillusioned with congress and felt Anna Hazare supported by IITian Kejriwal, IPS Kiran Bedi, great actor Aamir Khan will usher in a new change in India. I even donated to India against corruption, went to Ramlila maidaan to shout slogans *Now if I look back at it, the only thing I can do is laugh at myself. But I am happy that I realised the biggest flaw in my thinking. The reason we support people like Shashi Tharoor or a Kejriwal is they are well educated. We are brainwashed from childhood that education is equal to goodness*. *NO, IT IS NOT*. *Chidambaram is MBA from Harvard and we all know what he did. Mani Shankar Aiyar is from Cambridge - We all know what kind of rubbish he speaks. Kapil Sibal is Harvard Law graduate and all he does is write mercy petitions for terrorists*. *It is not that congress didn’t have highly educated people in the party. There were lots of them but they were all crooks. And a highly educated crook is even more dangerous as he can dupe you in even more innovative ways*. Everyone from *Islamic invaders to Britishers* were supported by *highly educated and intelligent* Indians. Yes, you need them to lord over the country? So *the rulers of India cultivated a group of crooks who were well read to rule over us and keep us poor. And Chachaji and his family also continued this trend and cultivated a group of highly educated crooks to rule India. Today we call this group as Lootyens as they stay in an area called Lutyens in Delhi and loot us.* *What is the change that BJP and Modi brought into politics?* *It made jokers like me realise that IVY LEAGUE DEGREES doesn’t make you a patriot, inculcate honesty or bring goodness.* *But people who cultivate character, personality on the basis of ethos of Culture and civilisation of India have patriotism and goodness in them*. *Do this experiment if you don’t believe me:* *You go into any random RSS Shaka in any part of the country and any time in the year*. *And see what they teach those students - Patriotism, Service, Goodness, Honesty and Simplicity.* *It is done every day and all throughout the year.* *Tell me which Ivy League Univ, IIT, IIM, St Stephens, Doon school or any school where you pay lakhs of rupees as fees teach it?* *I have been to world’s top Universities, have 6 degrees but no where my education taught me patriotism or goodness*. *It is my dad who taught me and the books I read written by Swami Vivekananda or the man I idolise Shaheed Bhagat Singh who did this.* *RSS shakhas do it for all the Sangh goers everyday. Hence people like Modi are so patriotic and honest. I don’t care if he went to school or he has MA or not.* *A person who reads Swami Vivekanand or goes to a RSS Shaka is any day better than a crook with IIT or Harvard degree.* *Yes that is what we need to realise.* *Believe in your own ethos or the goodness of your own country. You will any day be better than believing in those degrees*. *MUST READ.👆 ONE OF THE BEST ARTICLES, AN EYE OPENER.*

[mistmarigold]

reymir OS {reyyan gets shot}

Preview: Reyyan gets a text from an unknown number that Miran-Aslan are fighting alongside the cliff so she goes there because she’s afraid for Miran.

—-

“Miran!”

One shot was fired, however, it didn’t come from Miran’s pointed gun. Both Miran and Aslan stilled.

They turned to look at Reyyan standing a few feet away from them, staring at them with hollow eyes and a bloodied hand covering her belly.

Miran couldn’t believe his eyes but he ran to her and caught her in his arms before her knees buckled completely, sliding down with her in his arms.

“Reyyan, Reyyan! Hayir! Reyyan!”

He kept repeating, touching her everywhere with his right hand eventually settling it down on her belly, over her hand.

“Miran..”

He looked up at her eyes.

“I’m in love with you.”

“I know, just hold on. We’re leaving, hold on, lütfen! We’re going to the hospital. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. Just hold on!”

He puts some more pressure on her wound - she jerks and winces - before he picks her up and starts carrying her to his car.

“I wish we’ll meet in another life and everything will be beautiful. Life won’t be so hard for us,” she was speaking so low, Miran could barely hear her.

“We have this life too! Birakma beni. Just hold on, please please Reyyan! Seni seviyorum. Everything will be okay!”

In response, Reyyan’s eyes drifted close but there was a small smile on her face. A tear slid down her cheek from the corner of her right eye.

“Quick, open the door!” He yelled at shocked Aslan standing a few feet away, who follows through. “Take this and drive like a mad man, I don’t care!”

He throws the keys to Aslan who quickly takes up the driving seat while Miran sits in the back with Reyyan in his lap, trying to wake her up by calling her name over and over while putting pressure on her wound with a cloth he had found in his car.

“Birakma beni..”

“Reyyan..”

Miran hadn’t stopped saying those words, his cheeks stained with tears while his arms held the love of his life on the brink of death.

***

Miran sat on the floor, his head in his hands, thinking over every little moment between them right from the very beginning. Over and over again, her stunning smile and her words just kept going through his head. His legs had given up long ago. He didn’t care about anything but Reyyan.

Reyyan, the love of his life. His only person. Reyyan, who kept coming back to him despite everything he made her go through.

Reyyan, his only reason to live.

All he wanted was her to be alive and well; to be happy. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything else.

They should’ve left as they had planned. He should’ve been selfish and thought for themselves only. He shouldn’t have let her go far from him. He should’ve listened to her, been there for her.

All of her words came back to him; all the times she had warned him, tried to hold him back from his anger and his rash decisions. All the times she had tried to make him see sense and to protect them first and foremost. He barely got her in his life and he was already losing her.

He looked at his bloodied hands; he was the one responsible for not taking her away when he had the chance.

A nurse rushed out of the operation theatre then, “We need blood for the patient, unfortunately, the hospital has no more reserves for her blood type. Is there anyone with the same blood group?”

Miran was about to volunteer but he knew he wasn’t a match. He looked at Hazar but he shrugged helplessly and shook his head.

“Zehra isn’t a match for Reyyan either, Reyyan shares the same blood group as her real dad.”

“Tamam I’ll go get it! Don’t let anything happen to her, I’m gonna strange everything!”

Miran yelled and was about to head out to search and get things arranged when Mahfuz came rushing in.

“I’m a match for her, let’s go.”

Nobody said anything as the nurse led Mahfuz away.

“Allahim, what do I do? I have a daughter fighting between life and death, an unconscious pregnant wife and a sick daughter at home. Please help me, please help!”

Please let her live, please let Reyyan come back to me, safe and sound. Please let me see her smile again, let me hear her heartbeat again.

Firat took hold of Miran and dragged him to sit on one of the hospital chairs, patting his back and being a human rock for him. The only person who has always stood by him under all circumstances.

****

“She’s out of danger but we’re going to keep her under observation for 24 hours. Only one person can stay with her, granted they don’t cause the patient any stress. We like to believe a loved one being near help the patient get better,” the doctor said as soon as he came out.

There was no question of who was gonna stay. Miran was already heading in when Hazar called out to him.

“Miran.. please take care of my daughter.”

Miran nodded at him and went in with the doctor.

“Doctor bey, can I ask you for a favour?”

The doctor looked at him quizzically.

Miran swallowed, “This is going to sound unethical but for the sake of both my wife and I, can you please say she lost the baby?”

Even saying that - the possibility of it ever being real - shattered his heart but he had to do it. To protect Reyyan.

May Allah never have them go through the pain of losing a child.

“But she’s not pregnant.”

Miran nodded, “I know that and she knows that but it was a lie we had to say for some reasons. So, I would be insanely grateful to you if yo keep it as it is and just tell them what I said. For Reyyan’s sake, please do that and keep a cover over this lie.”

Miran didn’t want to repeat the unfortunate, heartbreaking thing again. It hurt him. He just wanted to get over this nightmare and have Reyyan back to him.

The doctor nodded, “It’s not ethical but I will do it for the sake of my patient’s health.”

Miran sighed, “It’s only for her. Thank you.”

The first look at Reyyan in the hospital bed with wires sticking to her body and her looking pale almost broke him. He leaned against the wall and clutched his heart; he couldn’t breathe knowing it was his fault she was there, it was his fault she got shot and almost died. Knowing that he almost lost her forever. He would die. There was no question about it. He would literally die without Reyyan.

Miran shook his head slightly, she was okay, she was alive and well. She’ll be better in no time.

He took small steps towards the bed, gingerly sitting down on the chair and just gazed at her face. Exhaustion was etched across her serene face. Tears kept streaking down his face as he looked at her face, then the place of her heart with the wires attached, then trailing down to her frail hand resting on her belly.

Reyyan’s heart had held through so many things, so many betrayals, lies and broken promises. No wonder a bullet was nothing in comparison for the amount of heartbreaks she had already been through.

He didn’t know if he could touch her. He didn’t want to get anything wrong or messed up. He almost lost her, he couldn’t take any chances.

“You can hold her hand, she’s doing fine. It might give her some strength as well,” the nurse whispered to him with a smile and a nod before leaving the room.

Miran was so gentle, so cautious with his first touch. It was barely a brush. And then a stroke, eventually turning into a soft caress over her fingers. He took her hand in both of his hands, cradling it with utmost care, before bending down and pressing a feather-light kiss on her fingers, one for each.

“Thank you for not leaving me. And I’m so sorry for everything. From now on, I don’t care about anything else except you. Everything will be okay. Just hold tight. Seni çok seviyorum, Reyyan. Always. Don’t leave me without your light, meleğim.”

***

Miran woke up to Reyyan’s fingers moving around his cheek. It was just a slight stir, barely there but his eyes fluttered open the moment it happened.

“Reyyan!”

She hadn’t opened her eyes and was visibly struggling a little bit. Miran caressed her hair and face, his thumb constantly moving across her cheek.

“Reyyan, bitanem. It’s okay, I’m here. Rest some more. Everything will be fine.”

There was a slight shake of her head, barely there, before she opened her eyes slowly.

The first thing she saw was Miran hovering over her with tear-stained cheeks. She tried to lift up her hand to touch his face but everything felt so heavy and exhausting. She couldn’t do much. But Miran noticed her fingers trying to reach up so he intertwined their fingers softly and pressed a little kiss to her forehead, lulling her back to sleep.

The next time she woke up, Hazar and Zehra were in the room while Miran was nowhere to be found. Zehra was laying on the couch while Hazar was sitting on her bedside.

“Kizim! We’re so thankful that nothing happened to you. We’re so, so grateful that you came back to us.”

Hazar tried to come forward to kiss her forehead but Reyyan held her hand up lowly. He saw it and stopped.

Hazar nodded, “You’re right. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve to hug or kiss you and I definitely don’t deserve your love. But I’m sorry, Reyyan. I’m so, so sorry for everything you’ve been through because I wasn’t a good enough father.”

Zehra woke up just then and came towards Reyyan.

“Reyyan, how are you feeling? Are you okay?”

Reyyan nodded, “I am. Please don’t worry and go home. It’s not good for you to be here.”

Just then Miran came in.

“Is Reyyan awake?” He rushed in and headed straight for her, cradling her face in his hands. “Are you doing okay? Are you hurting?”

She gave him her most genuine smile, “It does hurt. A lot.”

Miran sighed, “I’m sorry.”

She turns to Hazar, “I’m not going to stay away from Miran anymore. I’ve done everything that all of you have wanted but no more. And I also don’t want to see or meet anyone anymore except Gül. That’s all.”

Miran stands at the side, “Reyyan..”

She turned to him, “And if you don’t want to be with me then tell me and I’ll leave..”

Miran cut her off, “Of course I want you, Reyyan, what sort of question is that?”

She moved a bit on the bed and winces harshly, her eyes prickling with tears.

“Tamam stop talking. Go to sleep, we’ll figure out everything later. It will be however you want it, no matter what anyone says or do.”

Reyyan sniffed, “I just don’t want to stay here anymore, amidst all this revenge and hate, especially not when our little family is considered. I’m tired of paying for something I’m not responsible for. I want it to stop hurting.”

Hazar looked at Miran sharply, which didn’t escape Reyyan. Moreover, he held his head in his hands.

There was a moment of silence.

Miran swallowed, “Reyyan.. we lost the baby.”

Reyyan knew there was no baby, she knew it. And yet his words cut her deep inside. It was as if everything she had been through wasn’t enough, now she had to mourn the death of her fake baby as well. Even in her imagination, she wasn’t left alone.

She wanted to wail and cry her heart out, she did but all she could do was look at the ceiling and let tears slip out of her eyes while clutching the bedsheet. She gritted her teeth and tried not to sob because god knows her body was hurting so much. But now, her soul was in aguish and she didn’t know how to deal anymore. She didn’t want to be quiet.

Both Hazar and Zehra had quietly slipped out the door somewhere in between.

A sob finally broke out of her leading to a loud gasp and a wince from the pain of her wound.

“Reyyan, I know you’re tired, I know everything is wrong but lütfen I’m begging you, please calm down. Please think for yourself right now. We’ll have our family, I promise you. Please, please stay with me. Everything will be alright.”

Miran took her hands folded into fists and one by one loosened them up, intertwining his fingers with hers instead. Later he took down the guarding rail on one side and sat on the bed, half laying down. He turned to his side and kissed her tears away, replacing them with little kisses all over. Repeating new promises over and over agin with an assurance that they won’t be broken.

“One day we’ll be so happy we wouldn’t even remember these days.”

“We’ll have babies and we’ll see them grow into little beautiful beings and then adults.”

“Our lives would be full of light, love and happiness. Everything will be okay.”

“It’s enough that you don’t leave me without your breath.”

Over and over again, he kept talking to her while gently caressing and kissing her, hoping it would soothe her heart somehow, and give her some peace despite knowing peace was a foreign emotion to a girl like Reyyan, whose heart had been bruised and broken over and over again. He just hoped she’d carry through it one more time and would hold on for a little more. But he wasn’t sure.

Soon after, Reyyan fell asleep with dried tear streaks on her face and her soft, previously shaking hands clutching Miran’s big ones.