#hawks would

[faededaway]

You're hanging out at your friends place, a sleepover after not meeting for months. You're doing a little bit of everything, trying to fit in months worth of activities in one day.

You've played games, sung songs, painted a dozen frames, crocheted, cooked, ordered in, and even cut and dyed someone's hair.

You're down to one last activity before calling it a night.

You wanted to dress up and take some pictures together. You all brought your fanciest, sluttiest dresses and shoes just to hang around the house.

Yours was a backless black mid-calf satin dress with stripper heels that spent each day since it's purchase underneath your bed.

“I lovvvee your accessory!”, your friend who was getting dressed right next to you cooed at you.

You thought she was referring to your rings and thanked her. She hummed and went out of the room.

When you stepped out of the room, all eyes were on you. A lot of the friends wore cheeky smiles, a little too suspicious for your liking.

“I know I look different, but do you have to stare at me like that?”, you patted down your dress shyly.

“Hm, girl, we're just taking you in! Why don't you give us a twirl?”

You don't think much of it and do as asked. You're in a pretty dress, and you feel pretty, so why not?

You hear multiple heels clicking on the floor, running up behind you.

“Okay! Stand just like that!”, a friend of yours holds your shoulders and makes you face away from them.

“Is something wrong with the back?”

“Oh, no!” a chorus of various no's are heard all around. “It's just really pretty.”

“Do you wanna see? I'll take a nice picture.”

You agree and stand still. After a while, your friend shows you the picture. The thing you see makes you take a seat.

You don't say anything for a while as embarrassment makes your head spin. You're friends fill in the silence.

“Gotta say, this is a new way of breaking the news to your girlies. It's got his kiss on it and everything.”

“It's just a fan thing!”

“She did not do this on her own!”

“So, we're assuming she's dating him?”

“Better than assuming she'd use her expensive ass lipstick for this shit! I just know he's wearing it too. Bet he doesn't know how to take it off!”

“You guys planned it right?”

“Look at her face! She just found out!”

“Hey, don't be too mad at him. It's pretty. No scribbles or smudges. Perfect spelling.”

The only thing you say is, “help me take some more pictures so I can torture him a bit.”

-

Later, your boyfriend receives a picture of you in your backless dress with your back arched.

The cherry red writing on your body stands out on your skin as it reads, “Hawks' cumslut <3” signed with his kiss.

If it's any consolation, you also see various headlines and pictures of him wearing your lipstick. He really didn't know how tough it'd be to take off.

[herd-reject-arts]

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

[herssian]

"dragon age veilguard" damn right we better be the ones Guarding that Veil after being responsible for fucking it up

[puppyaulait]

[pakchoys]

snapshots of a stolen childhood

[ruushes]

still endlessly indecisive abt my datv worldstate bc ive played these games too many times and have too many ocs now but ive seen a lot of people drawing their worldstate characters and i wanted to too lol so here’s my tentative pick

fantastic templates are by marianchurchland ❤️❤️💕

[eggsdrawings]

home visit 🏠 ft. shiketsu au dabihawks

[vhsghostricks]

sonic rivals if it wasss . made for me. (insert laugh track here)

[hawkpartys]

I know mosquitoes aren't useless creatures but I still think getting rid of them would be worth the tradeoff.

The loss of 3500+ unique species from the ecological record forever along with near complete ecological collapse due to the sudden loss of vital pollinators, insectivore food sources, and resource redistributers will certainly be worth it so we can ensure the comfort of you, the worlds specialist and most important little pussy bitch

[matthewrhys]

Well, I meant to let you go, Hildy, but you know how it is. You never miss the water 'til the well runs dry.

His Girl Friday (1940), directed by Howard Hawks

[martenpounce]

We understand what it means to be loyal to our Clan. We have the courage to live by the warrior code. And because of that we'll be the most powerful cats in RiverClan one day, and our Clanmates will have to respect us then.

mothpaw and hawkpaw, in simpler times

[chialattea]

someone has to have done this before me, but every time I see this meme this is all I can picture

[corpocyborg]

BTW, if you've never had both Loghain and pro-templar Hawke at the same time, there is some FANTASTIC unique dialogue... I wish I could remember the exact wording because I can't find it anywhere... but it starts out with Hawke talking about all the things that Loghain has done wrong in his life and then Loghain says, "I see. Atrocities are your purview alone? You killed every mage in Kirkwall."

[maggiecheungs]

CARY GRANT as Barnaby Fulton and GINGER ROGERS as Edwina Fulton

MONKEY BUSINESS (1952) dir. Howards Hawks

[bunnybonesstudio]

[eightofpents]

This is why she always stands behind him.