#hawkeyethor

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The Petty Prince and the Arrogant Actress by u/hawkeyethor

The Petty Prince and the Arrogant Actress Here, I have reformatted the greatest love story ever told (sarcasm) as a short story!Once upon a time, there lived a prince. Being spoiled and selfish, he delved into countless controversies and treated everyone, including his father and older brother, cruelly while obsessing over his deceased mother.One day, he came across a heart-attack beautiful actress on social media. She even wore his mother's perfume on their first date, which sealed the deal for the prince. But little did he know that he had fallen under the spell of a witch.The prince's family tried to warn him about the actress's true colors, but he refused to listen, insisting that she was the second coming of his mother. And throughout all of the actress's bullying, the prince never once stopped her. Besides, what she wanted, she got.The actress insisted that the wedding be a spectacle. Inviting celebrities she didn't know as well as only one family member, she promised to the prince that they'd stay together until death did them part. And once she kissed him, he turned into a frog.From that day forward, the actress took full control of the prince. But she never wanted to serve the British public in the first place. Instead, she wanted endless money, A-list status, and massive power. So when she didn't get her way, the actress fled to North America and took the prince with her, using a desire for privacy as an excuse.Since then, the prince and the actress, now living in Montecito, California, had exploited their status for monetary gain, as well as slandered the prince's family in books and interviews. As a result, their popularity only dwindled more and more, and no one took them seriously anymore.And the petty prince and the arrogant actress lived unhappily ever after. The end. post link: https://ift.tt/v8PA9wE author: hawkeyethor submitted: September 03, 2024 at 04:09PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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Prince Harry on Judge Judy by u/hawkeyethor

Prince Harry on Judge Judy Here's how Prince Harry would interact with Judge Judy if he were on her original show! And of course, she doesn't put up with his whining!Real cases. Real people. Judge Judy.Byrd: All parties in the case of Harry v. Press, please step forward.39-year-old Prince Harry is suing the press for invading his privacy. But the press claims that it wants nothing to do with him or his attention-seeking wife.Judge Judy: What happened when you first snapped at the press, Harry?Harry: Willy pushed me onto the dog bowl. I got frostbite on my todger. And Kate made Meghan cry. Wouldn't it make sense to hear my truth from me?Judge Judy: No, I don't want to hear your truth. I want to hear THE truth. Now please answer my question. What happened when you first felt that your privacy was invaded?Harry: Um...Judge Judy: "Um" is not an answer!Harry: I need to show my family that I should be the heir. It first needs to apologize to Meghan for its unconscious bias, then-Judge Judy: Nonsense! Now listen to me carefully. Why did you scold the press after you felt your privacy being invaded?Harry: Because my ego was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatized.Judge Judy: Who cares? I want you to put your listening ears on for once.Harry: But I'm the spare, and thus, a victim. I shouldn't have to listen to you because I-Judge Judy: The press isn't owing you anything. We're done.Byrd: Parties are excused. You may step out.Harry: What? Hey, come back! I'm taking this to Netflix! post link: https://ift.tt/xJq8ZB0 author: hawkeyethor submitted: July 30, 2024 at 06:42PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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Listen to Our Truth (Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Version of Listen to Your Heart) by u/hawkeyethor

Listen to Our Truth (Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Version of Listen to Your Heart) Given how much I love to write these song parodies, I came up with my next one in a matter of days! Like Gold Digger (Maneater), it's a parody of an 80's classic- Listen to Your Heart by Roxette (rest in peace, Marie Fredriksson). But in this case, its title is Listen to Our Truth, and is inspired by the collection of lies that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle call their truth. However, I did cut the outro for the sake of the length. Now please enjoy Listen to Our Truth!We knew of something in the wake of bad pressWe got a notion from the allegations, yeahWe'd built a love, and it was so authenticBut life as working royals was so hardListen to our truthWhen we cry privacyListen to our truthThere's nothing else you can doWe don't care how you're feeling'Cause this is so funBut listen to our truth before we slander you liveSometimes we wonder about a freedom flightThe press keeps coming and won't leave us alone, yeahWe pose for pics, but nothing is what is seemsBecause no one even asked us how we wereListen to our truthWhen we cry privacyListen to our truthThere's nothing else you can doWe don't care how you're feeling'Cause this is so funBut listen to our truth before we slander you liveAnd there are stories we want to tell youOf dog bowl battles and sobbing on floorsThe scent of lip cream, what victims we've beenWhen our love story was the bestListen to our truthWhen we cry privacyListen to our truthThere's nothing else you can doWe don't care how you're feeling'Cause this is so funBut listen to our truth beforeOh, listen to our truthWhen we cry privacyListen to our truthThere's nothing else you can doWe don't care how you're feeling'Cause this is so funBut listen to our truth beforeWe slander you live post link: https://ift.tt/ejPiKxU author: hawkeyethor submitted: November 18, 2024 at 03:32PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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My Pa's Phone (Prince Harry's Version of Payphone) by u/hawkeyethor

My Pa's Phone (Prince Harry's Version of Payphone) I'm back with a new song parody, sinners! This time, it's a parody of Payphone by Maroon 5 (the version without Wiz Khalifa), and it's inspired by Harry moping about being financially cut off. And out of all my song parodies thus far, this one was definitely one of the funniest to write. So now, here's My Pa's Phone!I'm at my Pa's phone trying to call forA lot more money, though I'm cut offIt had all gone towards Meghan's beige outfitsWhere were our plans for privacy?Yeah, I, I know it's hard to rememberThe prince that I used to beIt's even harder to pictureThat I'm not next to WillyYou say I'm no longer trustedBut can I come for Christmas?And due to all of our tantrumsAll of our bridges burned downI've wasted my nightsSeething and snortingNow I'm all stoned outStill stuck in that timeWhen I called it loveBut even the sun sets at our mansionI'm at my Pa's phone trying to call forA lot more money, though I'm cut offIt had all gone towards Meghan's beige outfitsWhere were our plans for privacy?If we didn't want to tell our truthI would not have written my book SpareThat this is all my fault is full of itOne more stupid camera, I'll be sickOh!I turned my back on all of you'Cause I loved the star of SuitsI gave her all that she wantedSince preparing our weddingYou can't expect us to be fineWe are victims foreverI know I've said it before butAll of our bridges burned downI've wasted my nightsSeething and snortingNow I'm all stoned outStill stuck in that timeWhen I called it loveBut even the sun sets at our mansionI'm at my Pa's phone trying to call forA lot more money, though I'm cut offIt had all gone towards Meghan's beige outfitsWhere were our plans for privacy?If we didn't want to tell our truthI would not have written my book SpareThat this is all my fault is full of itOne more stupid camera, I'll be sickNow I'm at my Pa's phoneOoh, yeah yeahNow please, Pa, don't hang upSo I can tell you how much cash I needPlease, Pa, I'm begging youJust hear me outSo I can tell you how much cash I needI'm at my Pa's phone trying to call forA lot more money, though I'm cut offIt had all gone towards Meghan's beige outfitsWhere were our plans for privacy?If we didn't want to tell our truthI would not have written my book SpareThat this is all my fault is full of itOne more stupid camera, I'll be sickNow I'm at my Pa's phone post link: https://ift.tt/4H5PLRq author: hawkeyethor submitted: November 07, 2024 at 02:57PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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Two Grifters (Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Version of Two Princes) by u/hawkeyethor

Two Grifters (Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Version of Two Princes) After I finished writing Listen to Our Truth (Listen to Your Heart), I got an idea for my next song parody almost immediately. This time, it's a parody of Two Princes by Spin Doctors, which is one of my favorite 90's songs. But here, it's been renamed to Two Grifters, as it details the ways in which Harry and Meghan have taken advantage of others. Now without further ado, please enjoy Two Grifters!YeahOne, two grifters lie before youThat's what I said nowGrifters, grifters who copy youJust go ahead nowOne was a yacht girl and an actressAnd that's background nowThis one said he put lip cream somewhereThat you can't see nowThis one, she talks in big word saladsThat's what I said nowAnd uses her title in all placesThat's in her head nowYou marry her, your family will scold youHow 'bout that nowYou marry him, your father will be disownedAnd painted bad nowInvite her or invite himThey're the lazy effing grifters, can't you seeThey don't got no kindness or honestyBut I know what a royal is ought to beI know what a royal is ought to beSaid if you wanna slander peopleJust go ahead nowAnd if you say you want privacyJust go ahead nowAnd if you wanna write a memoirJust go ahead nowAnd if you wanna whine for hoursJust go ahead nowSaid one, two grifters lie before youThat's what I said nowGrifters, grifters who copy youJust go ahead nowOne was a yacht girl and an actressAnd that's background nowThis one said he put lip cream somewhereThat you can't see nowInvite her or invite himThey're the lazy effing grifters, can't you seeThey don't got no kindness or honestyBut I know what a royal is ought to beI know what a royal is ought to beSaid if you wanna slander peopleJust go ahead nowAnd if you say you want privacyJust go ahead nowAnd if you wanna write a memoirJust go ahead nowAnd if you wanna whine for hoursJust go ahead nowAnd if you wanna slander peopleJust go ahead nowAnd if you say you want privacyJust go ahead nowAnd if you wanna write a memoirJust go ahead nowAnd if you wanna whine for hoursJust go ahead nowIf you wanna slander peopleJust go ahead nowIf you say you want privacyJust go ahead nowIf you wanna write a memoirJust go ahead nowIf you wanna whine for hoursJust go ahead nowWoah, you twoJust go ahead nowWoah, just, just go ahead nowWoah, lazy griftersJust go ahead nowCome on, forget them and pick real royalsJust go ahead nowC'mon, c'mon, c'monJust go ahead nowGo ahead nowYeah, yeahJust go ahead nowIf you wanna write a memoirYeah, just go ahead now, you twoJust go ahead post link: https://ift.tt/PiNt9Xs author: hawkeyethor submitted: November 20, 2024 at 07:26PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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HG Tudor has a point about Narinder Kaur and Meghan Markle. by u/hawkeyethor

HG Tudor has a point about Narinder Kaur and Meghan Markle. Following Narinder Kaur's recent attack on Princess Catherine, HG Tudor put out this video comparing her to Meghan herself. And he's right- Narinder and Meghan actually have a lot in common. The link to the video is here if you want to check it out:https://youtube.com/watch?v=jFsH76lrxz4&si=Znvxs0jnAfgLCLHg The video belongs to HG Tudor. post link: https://ift.tt/Ea6z1jd author: hawkeyethor submitted: November 13, 2024 at 06:51PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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Cry Cry Cry (Meghan Markle's Version of Bye Bye Bye) by u/hawkeyethor

Cry Cry Cry (Meghan Markle's Version of Bye Bye Bye) I got the idea to make this song parody when I rewatched Deadpool & Wolverine yesterday. Of course, it's a Meghan Markle parody of Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC, but I renamed it to Cry Cry Cry, and also included many references to Meghan and Harry playing the victim. Now I hope you like this parody!Waaagh, waaaghCry cry cryCry cryCry cryYou're doing this tonightI'm gonna start a royal fightI have to be the starHey royals, come onAttention belongs to meEven when it shouldn't beSo now it's time to put out my ARO jamI know that I can't take no moreOf no spotlightSo to make my way up to the topI will cry cry cryDon't want to be ignored by youHarry and I are victims, it's trueAnd so when I drop down to the floorI will cry cry cryI really want to make it toughI just want to tell you that I had enoughAnd until you all apologizeI will cry cry cryI just hit you with my truthNow I'm the one silencing youSo give me another titleRoyals, come onI'm authentic, you knowBut Harry is too dim to seeThat his life is much better under meI know that I can't take no moreOf no spotlightSo to make my way up to the topI will cry cry cryDon't want to be ignored by youHarry and I are victims, it's trueAnd so when I drop down to the floorI will cry cry cryI really want to make it toughI just want to tell you that I had enoughAnd until you all apologizeI will cry cry cryI won't give up, I know for sureI really need Oprah Winfrey to come for round twoCry cryI'm putting out, I'm hogging upI want to be the shining star, and I've had enoughI don't want to be ignored by this monarchySo I'm on my freedom flightI really want to make it toughBut I've had enoughGo apologize, royalsDon't want to be ignored by youHarry and I are victims, it's trueAnd so when I drop down to the floorI will cry cry cryI really want to make it toughI just want to tell you that I had enoughAnd until you all apologizeCry cry cryCry cry post link: https://ift.tt/f2NqvM9 author: hawkeyethor submitted: October 10, 2024 at 04:03PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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Ice Cream Flavors Inspired by the Delusional Duo by u/hawkeyethor

Ice Cream Flavors Inspired by the Delusional Duo If ice cream flavors inspired by Harry and Meghan existed, what would you like to call them?For instance, I came up with Cookies and Elizabeth Arden Cream, which is inspired by Harry's most disgusting story in Spare (as well as the most obvious example of his Oedipus complex). And I also came up with American Riviera Orchard Strawberry, which is inspired by Meghan's failed business venture involving strawberry jam with cheap labels.Now what ideas do the rest of you have? post link: https://ift.tt/8Tm7tLr author: hawkeyethor submitted: September 24, 2024 at 09:21PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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HG Tudor offers a new perspective on Meghan's treatment of Harry. by u/hawkeyethor

HG Tudor offers a new perspective on Meghan's treatment of Harry. HG Tudor recently put out this video where he said that Meghan can also be seen as acting like a babysitter to Harry. We already know that she treats him like a child, but this perspective offered a new way that people can perceive it- and let me tell you, it's just as dysfunctional. Here's the link to the video:https://youtu.be/pr7UPMZUucA?si=_JP8dCPIesPSbcJz The video belongs to HG Tudor. post link: https://ift.tt/NRQ8rHv author: hawkeyethor submitted: September 20, 2024 at 06:32PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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Meghanland Resort by u/hawkeyethor

Meghanland Resort Looking for the perfect vacation destination? Then look no further than Meghanland Resort in Montecito, California!You'll enter the park through Montecito USA. As you make your way through this replica of Meghan and Harry's absolutely private hometown, you will soon see Meghan Markle Castle, where stage shows occur at daytime, and firework shows are held at nighttime.Delusionland is the land of spilled tea, bridesmaid dresses, and more of Meghan's cruel fantasies. You can even meet the delusional duchess herself in an ill-fitting and revealing outfit, but she may be an hour late.Hypocriteland is inspired by Meghan and her husband's hypocritical adventures. It's also here where Elizabeth Arden Whips, made with 100% Oedipus complex, are pretty popular!Privacyland is where Meghan and Harry dream of a more private tomorrow. It contains many cutting-edge and innovative attractions inspired by Meghan's Spotify and Netflix ventures.Awardland is where the duo picks up unearned awards from the Hollywood frontier. Whether it be for standing up to an institution it spins as evil or spitting on the legacy of a football player-turned-American hero, there really isn't an award these two won't go after here!Harry's Toontown is the world Harry has made up in his drugged head. With dog bowls and demonstrations of his Oedipus complex galore, it really is a toontown!Traitor Country has no royal aspects since Meghan and Harry chose to be traitorous critters. But at the same time, it does- it contains all of the luxurious perks and none of the hard work.Freedom Flight Square represents how the two play the victim in every square, and how they were so victimized that they went on a freedom flight to North America. It's also home to the park's most popular attraction, Near-Catastrophic Car Chase- a rollercoaster sponsored by Hertz!And finally, Grifter's Edge takes place in a galaxy far, far away where Meghan and Harry do what they do best- grift. No one is "spared" from their out-of-this-world grifting in this deserted city.So head on over to Meghanland Resort, the most delusional place on Earth! post link: https://ift.tt/OZeU0PJ author: hawkeyethor submitted: July 12, 2024 at 07:41PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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Gold Digger (Meghan Markle's Version of Maneater) by u/hawkeyethor

Gold Digger (Meghan Markle's Version of Maneater) It was so much fun writing Harry's parody of Shake it Off that I decided to make a song parody for Meghan too! And what better song to parody than Maneater by Hall & Oates? I even changed the title of the song to be Gold Digger since Meghan only married Harry for money and status. So without further ado, please enjoy Gold Digger!She'll only come out at nightThe mean and selfish typeNothing is newI've seen her here beforeWatching and waitingOoh, she's sitting with youBut her eyes are on the cashThe firm has given a lifeThat she thinks she's getting for freeShe plays the victimA copycat set to be your mother 2.0Money's the matterIf you're in it for loveYou ain't gonna get too farOh, here she comesWatch out, H, she'll claw you upOh, here she comesShe's a gold diggerOh, here she comesWatch out, H, she'll claw you upOh, here she comesShe's a gold diggerI wouldn't if I were youI know what she can doShe's greedy, manAnd she could really rip your world apartMind over matterOoh, the beauty is thereBut a beast is in the heartOh, here she comesWatch out, H, she'll claw you upOh, here she comesShe's a gold diggerOh, here she comesWatch out, H, she'll claw you upOh, here she comesShe's a gold diggerPriva-say, hey!Oh, here she comesHere she comesWatch out, H, she'll claw you upOh, here she comesShe's a gold diggerOh, here she comesOoh, she'll claw you upOh, here she comesHere she comesShe's a gold diggerOh, here she comesShe'll only come out at night, oohOh, here she comesHere she comesShe's a gold diggerOh, here she comesShe plays the victim, oohOh, here she comesHere she comesWatch out, H, watch out, HOh, here she comesOh, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch outOh, here she comesYeah yeah, she's a gold diggerOh, here she comesShe's watching and waiting, oohOh, here she comesOh, she's a gold digger post link: https://ift.tt/RBZG3SX author: hawkeyethor submitted: July 01, 2024 at 04:24PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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Petty Bitterness and Jealousy Sandwich by u/hawkeyethor

Petty Bitterness and Jealousy Sandwich Bitter about being the spare? Jealous that the real royals get more attention than you? Then this sandwich is for you!Ingredients: Two slices of bread, Harry's nuts butter (peanut butter), any flavor of American Riviera Orchard jamDirections:1. Spread the Harry's nuts butter on one slice of bread. You can also complement the Harry's nuts butter with Elizabeth Arden cream (marshmallow creme) if you choose.2. Spread the American Riviera Orchard jam on the other slice of bread. For extra fruity empowerment, you can also put in banana slices.3. Close the sandwich, slice, and serve.Congratulations! You just made a petty bitterness and jealousy sandwich! post link: https://ift.tt/aNmTHIv author: hawkeyethor submitted: June 17, 2024 at 04:36PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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Hate it Off (Harry's Version) by u/hawkeyethor

Hate it Off (Harry's Version) What if Harry became a pop star? Well, here would be one of his first songs- a spiteful version of Shake it Off by Taylor Swift! Please enjoy, fellow sinners!I stay up too lateGot no cells in my brainThat's what people say, mmm mmmThat's what people say, mmm mmmI get on too many shroomsBut I can't stay this highAt least that's what people say, mmm mmmThat's what people say, mmm mmmBut I keep whinging, can't stop, won't stop whiningIt's like I've got my mummy in my mind saying "It's gonna be alright"'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, playAnd the blamers gonna blame, blame, blame, blame, blameSugar, I'm just gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hateI hate it off, I hate it offNews breakers gonna break, break, break, break, breakAnd the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fakeSugar, I'm just gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hateI hate it off, I hate it offI never miss a beatI'm smartness on my feetAnd that's what they don't see, mmm mmmThat's what they don't see, mmm mmmI'm crying on my ownI make stories up as I goOnes that they do not know, mmm mmmOnes that they do not know, mmm mmmBut I keep whinging, can't stop, won't stop whiningIt's like I've got my mummy in my mind saying "It's gonna be alright"'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, playAnd the blamers gonna blame, blame, blame, blame, blameSugar, I'm just gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hateI hate it off, I hate it offNews breakers gonna break, break, break, break, breakAnd the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fakeSugar, I'm just gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hateI hate it off, I hate it offHate it off, I hate it offI, I, I hate it off, I hate it offI, I, I hate it off, I hate it offI, I, I hate it off, I hate it offHey hey heyJust think while you've been getting down and out with all the unconscious bias and spare prejudice in the world, you could've been getting down to my sick truthThe first time I brought in my MegNan's like, "Oh my God"But I'm just gonna hate itAnd to my brother over there with the receding hairWon't you come on over, Willy?We can hate, hate, hateYeah, oh!'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, playAnd the blamers gonna blame, blame, blame, blame, blameSugar, I'm just gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hateI hate it off, I hate it offNews breakers gonna break, break, break, break, breakAnd the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fakeSugar, I'm just gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hateI hate it off, I hate it offHate it off, I hate it offI, I, I hate it off, I hate it offI, I, I hate it off, I hate it offI, I, I hate it off, I hate it offHate it off, I hate it offI, I, I hate it off, I hate it offI, I, I hate it off, I hate it offI, I, I hate it off, I hate it off post link: https://ift.tt/rv4Kquj author: hawkeyethor submitted: June 09, 2024 at 04:59PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.