#havu x cat

[dereliction-if]

I just received the cutest fanart which I am unfortunately not allowed to share - omg - i am dying here - HELP!

[waywardfeathered]

𝔸𝕟𝕤𝕨𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕤𝕖 𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤

nicknames:  heli & havu are both my real names, i don’t think i have nicknames.

zodiac:  pisces (aquarius moon/sagittarius rising).

height:  5′2-5′3.

timezone:  EET.

sexuality:  queer.

favorite bands / artist:  i don’t like music.

song stuck in my head:  lately some of the husband’s DDR workout songs.

last movie i saw:  equilibrium.

last thing i googled:  dumping syndrome.

do i get asks:  yes, because my followers are lovely.

following:  221.

followers:  777.

average amount of sleep:  8-10h.

what i’m wearing:  comfypants with cat prints & the jared’s #akf “love yourself first” t-shirt dean gave me.

dream job:  particle physicist, or a physicist of any kind focused more on the theoretical/abstract side of physics. i might change my mind on a field when i go to university but. physicist. might be cool being a university professor.

favorite food:  bread.

favorite animal:  cats.

play any instruments:  i took piano lessons as a kid but uh i suck.

eye color:  dark blue.

hair color:  dirty blond.

languages you speak:  finnish & english fluently, a bit of japanese, swedish, i took german in jr. high but i can’t really remember anything.

random fact:  i’m autistic. i came to this conclusion thanks to getting evaluated by a behavioural therapist early this year. had i had a better psychiatrist when i was 13 i likely would have been diagnosed with asperger’s (which is now merged with autism spectrum) then. my mom suspected it, my foster care suspected it, but because i was also severely mentally ill (my ocd was misdiagnosed as gad back then i think), my doctor, as my mom asked him if they could test me for asperger’s, just condescended her with a “well, what do you think that would achieve?” and wrote down to my medical records that “it’s an anxiety disorder, not asperger’s”. he didn’t even know me. but i suppose since it said that, nobody ever after that considered it. i did, on and off, in my later teens and earlier adulthood. i’ve been gaslit to believe “you’re not really x, you just want to be special” (with my queerness, mental health, you name it) my entire life (by my parents & foster care), so i just filed autism under “it fits me but i’m not it, i just want to be special, forget about it” (fun fact i filed ptsd there too, until my husband who has severe ptsd sat me down and told me i definitely have ptsd which you know... makes sense) (other fun fact i filed being trans there too for a decade before coming to terms with oh i’m nonbinary lol fuck having been gaslit). until my behavioural therapist wanted me to take the AQ and consulted a neuropsychiatrist about the possibility. i have no official diagnosis but i have a “it’s very possible” from a behavioural therapist and a neuropsychiatrist (they can’t diagnose me without interviewing my parents and i’m not ok with my parents being a part of my mental health care in any way) & other autistic people in my life support this & one friend was even “wait, you don’t have a diagnosis?” because they had assumed i did even years before i considered it apparently alsknas. so. it’s technically self-diagnosed but i am autistic. /ramble

tagged by:  @thekingsparty & @dreamoftheendless (thanks!)

tagging:  @immortaljackal @deathfound @snowinabottle @kaijublooded @defiedheaven @thatslayer @racointeur @horrorempathy & steal it!