#having written it out like this i may either do the first scenario or version b)

[outlawinthisworld1117]

And they were roommates…

☆ pairing: Mingi x (fem)reader

☆ genre: Friends to Lovers. Fluff. A sprinkle of angst. Slow burn? I guess…

☆ summary: KQ was holding the raffle of a lifetime - the opportunity to live with Ateez for an entire year. As someone who isn't particularly a K-pop fan, you were intrigued by the opportunity to travel with free housing. You didn’t think that you would actually end up winning… nor that you’d end up getting close to a certain member.

☆ warnings: toxic bf (not Mingi), some cursing, nsfw? suggestive material, mentions of cheating (again, not Mingi), some poorly written angst, there could be more but I don’t think so??

☆ word count: 14.5k (I went a bit insane for my first fic. I could probably cut it down, but I’m not gonna :P)

☆ authors note: This is heavily based on a scenario I had in my notes app for months. Mingi is my Ult! and I’m a hopeless romantic, which was a huge inspiration for this story. This work is fiction and purely self-indulgent (really as all fanfics should be), it doesn’t reflect any of the members personally. Also, I know that Mingi isn’t afraid of heights and actually enjoys rollercoasters, but for the sake of my 20th Century Girl reference… I had to make him the ultimate scaredy cat. Also, Yn is supposed to be the nickname version of Y/N… Enjoy!

Eight pairs of eyes are locked onto you as you awkwardly smiled back at them, waving ever so slightly. Eight of the most stunning men you’ve ever encountered stood before you, and one of them had particularly captivated your attention. His intense gaze, defined nose, and grown-out bleached hair pulled you in, igniting a spark of something new within you. His stare burned into your very soul, making you break your gaze and scream internally, overwhelmed by self-consciousness, Jesus H. Christ… how did I end up here???

—Two Weeks Prior—

(translator mode on :3, Hinata is Japanese)

Hinata: -Yn, look at this-

You catch sight of the notification glowing on your phone, and curiously you click the link your friend sent you.

-Win a once-in-a-lifetime chance to live with ATEEZ for an ENTIRE YEAR!!! Simply sign up through email, and you could be our lucky winner! If you’re chosen, you’ll receive free housing, travel expenses covered, an incredible job working alongside ATEEZ, and the opportunity to become friends with the group!-

You scoff, wondering, What is this? It seems like a scam. Your phone pings once more, a new message from your friend lighting up the screen.

Hinata: -I thought it was fake at first, but look!!! The raffle is posted on the official Instagram!! *screenshotted post*-

You: -Hina…you are the K-pop fan, what are you telling me for?-

Hinata: -You have been nonstop talking about wanting to travel somewhere you have never been before. Why not take the chance? Just sign up for the raffle. What harm could it do?-

You: -I don’t know, but it’s not very likely I’ll win anyway.-

Hinata: -So? It’s not likely you’ll get struck by lightning either, but we both know that it is still possible. Just do it!-

You: -Fine. Though you have to promise me that you won’t be mad at me if I win. I know how much you love those guys.-

Hinata: -Trust me, I will not be mad. I applied and if I win I’m giving it to you. I love them, but I will not be able to function if I am around them. Ironically, my biggest fear is meeting Ateez lol :3-

-Plus, you know how to speak Korean pretty well because of school, whereas I can hardly speak the only language I do know…</3-

Smiling at your friend’s text, you opened up the website for the raffle on your phone and signed up, thinking with a hint of sarcasm, I’m probably more likely to get struck by lightning… may the odds forever be in my favor, right? Little did you know that just a week later, you’d receive an ear-piercing call from Hinata, her voice bursting with excitement as she screamed that you won the raffle.

The next week was a complete blur for you. Phone calls with KQ executives, packing bags, and getting on a plane bound for Seoul, South Korea. Your head felt so strange as if you were wearing a large fishbowl; everything you heard echoed, yet at the same time was also muffled. Your knuckles were nearly white from the grip you had on your carry-on’s handle. The rhythmic pounding in your chest was so fast you feared your heart might leap out. You sat down in your cozy window seat and took deep, calming breaths. You reminded yourself that change was a gift, and this was an opportunity of a lifetime. Hinata was beyond excited for you, so why shouldn’t you feel the same for yourself? Finally, a chance to embark on your long-held dream of traveling abroad, and luckily for you, you already had a very solid grasp on the language… it’s almost like it was fate. You shook your head, Fate? Please, since when do you believe in such silly things. You closed your eyes as the plane took off, willing yourself to sleep for the duration of the flight.

—Present Day/End of Spring—

The eight men in front of you began to speak, starting from left to right, introducing themselves one at a time. The eldest, had long, dark hair framing his face, a comforting smile, and eyes full of curiosity. His name, Park Seonghwa. The way he carried himself instilled an overwhelming sense of safety within you, and you just felt in your bones you would get along well. 

The next man in line was much shorter. Actually, out of all of them you noted, he was the shortest, only taller than you by an inch. His exterior had a look of calm composure, but you could sense chaos within when you made eye contact with him— Kim Hongjoong, he was the Captain of the ship. Despite the intense energy he gave off though, you didn’t find his chaotic nature intimidating. Instead, you could tell that you were both quite similar but weren’t sure whether or not that was a good thing. 

Moving on to the man with fluffy brown hair that towered above the rest, his smile was radiant and slightly crooked, which you found very endearing. He waved his large hand at you as he said his name, Jeong Yunho. He had a familiar aura, like a home away from home, so you hoped you would be like family. 

Shifting over to the shy man in line, who gave off the energy of a Doberman, but looked like a Maltese. He politely introduced himself— Kang Yeosang. His smile was so warm, it made all your anxieties melt away and suddenly you knew that this raffle was a good change for you. He looked over to the man standing next to him and your gaze followed to the sturdy mountain with dimples. His broad chest and confident posture made him seem scary, but as soon as he spoke his true nature was revealed as the very sweet, Choi San. His upbeat and comic personality had you feeling excited to be his friend. As if a magnet was pulling you towards him, you looked over to the next man in line and felt your face flush a bit.

Song Mingi was his name. His face had such a look of careful observation, disguised as cold indifference. If you hadn’t known any better you would have felt hurt by the look on his face, but something pulled at your heart and you could just feel that he was the most goofy, caring, and kind soul you would ever meet. Fate? I don’t believe in such things… So you brushed off his current expression and begrudgingly moved on to the others in the line. 

Next was Jung Wooyoung. He seemed like the polar opposite of Hongjoong, presenting a chaotic exterior, concealing a polite and calm soul that shone brightly through the cracks. You sensed he might be a bit of a handful and would take some adjusting to, but deep down, you could also feel that, once you got to know him, he would prove to be one of the most treasured friends to have by your side. You smiled warmly at him before shifting your gaze to the last, but certainly not the least, man in the group. The moment your eyes fell upon him, memories of the big teddy bear in your room back home flooded your mind. He possessed the most fascinating eyes, somehow managing to be both intensely intimidating and incredibly comforting all at once.

With the final introduction behind you, you realized it was now your turn to speak. You swallowed thickly and took a deep breath, striving to recall all the Korean language lessons you had diligently attended in college.

(translator mode on :3)

“Hello, I’m Y/N and I’m very excited and grateful for the opportunity to live here with you guys. It is so nice to meet you all and I can already feel like we will get along well. Thank you for welcoming me into your home, and I hope that this coming year will be one full of great memories!” You bowed your head quickly and straightened out with a nervous, but excited, smile. The group gazed at you with surprise painted on their faces, though Mingi couldn't help but let a sly smirk dance at the corner of his mouth, as his eyes sparkled with amusement. With all formal introductions fully out of the way, the remaining KQ staff slowly departed from the house, leaving just you and the boys in the living room; the atmosphere was thick with newcomer jitters.

“Aigo! Your Korean is quite good,” Hongjoong praised. He motioned toward the couch for you to sit while the other guys situated themselves in various sitting places around the room. You took note of where Mingi chose to sit, which was on the floor, next to your spot on the couch. Leaning back and propping himself up with his arms, he just focused on you. You shifted a bit in your spot and tried to pry your eyes away from him and onto Hongjoong. 

Dismissively you waved your hands, “Ah, it’s not really. I only took a few years of classes during university, but I haven’t gotten to use it much since then, so I am a bit rusty.”

“Nonsense! We understood you perfectly,” Seonghwa smiled.

“Well, either way, I get to practice the language now and I’m very excited to see how much I improve over the next several months,” You buzzed.

“Just talk to Wooyoung, you’ll get plenty of practice in,” San chuckled, casting a playful glance at his best friend.

“Hardy har, I don’t talk that much,” Wooyoung responded, his eyes sending dull daggers toward San.

“Wellll… you kind of do. But we all still love you!” Yeosang chimed in.

“Speak for yourself, Yeo,” Jongho scoffed. Wooyoung lightly pushed the bear of a man, and Jongho pushed back a bit harder. Wooyoung wobbled on his chair trying not to fall over as he regained his balance. You giggled at the comfortable banter amongst the boys.

You looked over at Mingi to see his reaction, but you found that he had been looking at you the whole time. Your breath hitched in your throat as his eyes bore into you, and he opened his mouth to speak.

“So who’s your bias?” He questioned. The other men moved their attention from Wooyoung and Jongho, onto Mingi, and then to you.

“My what?” You asked, brows furrowed.

“Bias? You know, which one of us is your favorite?” He also furrowed his brows, wondering what was with the confusion.

“Who’s my favorite…?” You paused, absorbing the strange requested information from the tall man.

“Yeah… Typically Atiny’s have a favorite member,” He grinned at you, thinking that you were playing a game. Changing his sitting position he rubbed his nose and sniffed, moving to cross his arms smugly adding, “I’m kind of a crowd favorite.” His tongue poked at his cheek mischievously. The others just looked at him with blank stares and shook their heads slightly.

“Are you now?” You teased, looking him up and down. You didn’t doubt for a second that what he said was the truth, he was gorgeous and charismatic, but you and the other guys wouldn’t give him the satisfaction by agreeing with him.

“I’m sure I’ll be your favorite in no time,” He smirked at you and winked. You forced the blush creeping up on your face to go away.

“Well, I’m not really one to play favorites, Mingi,” You teased, feeling comfortable enough with him already to do so, “Plus I don’t know you guys at all, so even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to answer you right now,” You lightly laughed, crossing your arms, and shaking your head at the bleach blond man.

Your response had all eight of them looking at you strangely, and you wondered what you said that made them react that way. Yunho decided to speak for the group, “You don’t… know us?”

Oh… right, they were probably expecting a fan to live with them, you thought before answering, “Not really… I mean I know who you guys are. I don’t live under a rock, my best friend is a huge fan of ATEEZ. Personally, though, I don’t really listen to K-pop much, so aside from what my friend tells me… I know almost nothing. I didn’t even know your names until you guys said them.”

They all raised their eyebrows as far as they could go, mouths nearly agape. It took a second for them to process what they just heard. Mingi however was just curiously eyeing you, a grin still plastered on his face, as he breathily laughed.

“How ironic that out of the hundreds of thousands of Atiny’s that entered the raffle, the person who won isn’t even a fan of ours,” Wooyoung chuckled, which created a chain reaction amongst the boys, who all started laughing.

Thankfully, they didn’t appear to be upset by your lack of fandom, and there was something about Mingi’s reaction that had you thinking he was actually a bit relieved. You couldn’t help but nervously laugh along with them for a moment, as the sheer absurdity of the whole situation finally hit you, “I guess it’s probably a bit disappointing that I don’t know you guys, huh?”

As the boys calmed down, Mingi took the opportunity to answer, “Disappointing? I wouldn’t say that at all. I don’t know about the other guys, but personally, I much prefer that it turned out like this.” He looked at you with wonder, making you feel like the only person in the room. His eyes are so pretty…you snapped out of it when Hongjoong spoke, “I’m curious though, if you aren’t a fan of us, then why did you apply to the raffle?”

“I wanted to travel to someplace new, and it seemed like a really interesting opportunity. A place to live and a job included? It’s not exactly something I would want to pass up. My friend knows me well I guess, which is why she encouraged me to apply,” You stated simply and the boys nodded in approval at your answer.

“That’s a good friend you have,” San approved.

“Yeah, Hinata, she’s great. Actually, she lives in Japan, so this is the closest I’ve ever been to her, which is kind of nice,” You smiled at the realization, “Maybe I’ll take the chance to visit her next year before I have to go.”

The eight men around you had only known you for a short amount of time, but the mention of you leaving them already had them feeling pangs of sadness in their chests. Mingi just looked at you with a straight face, but his eyes— oh his eyes… he’s like a puppy— tell you everything he was feeling.

“So you speak English, Korean, and Japanese… it’s almost like you’re an idol,” Hongjoong pointed out, trying to shift the mood of his group, laughing weakly at his own joke.

“Ha! I’d make a pretty shabby idol,” You chuckled, a shiver running down your spine at the idea of performing, “I don’t do well when it comes to stages or crowds. If only I didn’t have stage fright though because I do like singing and dancing, and I’m not too bad at rapping either…”

“Plus you’re gorgeous,” Wooyoung added, making you feel bashful.

“Looks like we’ve got an ace in the group,” Mingi smirked in the most sinful way as he continued to stare at you. God, those lips of his…

Hongjoong nearly shouted, preventing your mind from going somewhere it shouldn’t, “Oh! Before I forget, we should go over the rules that have been put in place for the coming year.” He got up and grabbed a piece of paper on the kitchen counter before returning to his spot on the couch.

“Rules? Don’t we have enough already because of Hwa?” Mingi sighed. Seonghwa gave him a poisonous side glare, which made Mingi airily laugh.

“There’s only a couple of them. The managers thought it would be a good idea to have them,” Hongjoong said to prevent any arguments.

“So what are they?” You asked, wondering what could be so important that rules had to be put in place.

Hongjoong cleared his throat before he read off the page, “First rule: no unapproved content of the group or Y/N, whether it be pictures or videos, can be posted online.”

“I don’t even use social media, so that’s the easiest rule I’ve ever had to follow,” You chirped.

“Not even TikTok?!” Wooyoung blurted, shocked at what you admitted.

“Especially not that one,” You shook your head, thinking about the days you wasted away on that app in the past. Sure, you had an Instagram account to keep up with Hinata and your friends from back home, but that was it. You never posted on there anyway.

“Glad I won’t have to worry about you then, Y/N. The rule applies to all of us though… so please-” Hongjoong paused to look sternly at San, Yeosang, and Wooyoung, “-just don’t post anything with her okay? There will be a group picture uploaded to ateez_official to show our winner and that’ll be it for now.”

The three boys just gave sheepish grins and looked at the ground. You giggled, loving more and more the dynamic they all had with each other.

“Okay, final rule, and the managers have it in bold so I assume it’s the most important,” Hongjoong read it inaudibly to himself first, eyes going wide, he coughed a bit before sharing it with the room, “uh- um… it just says You aren’t allowed to date her, so don’t even think about it…”

If you were drinking something you would’ve spit it out. You choked on nothing and started laughing, “Seems like another easy rule… as if that would happen.”

Each of the boys had different reactions though. Hongjoong and Seonghwa kept serious faces, thinking that your response was valid but they knew that the rule was actually very necessary. San, Wooyoung, and Yeosang giggled a bit at it and your subsequent reaction, but they too understood how essential the rule was. Yunho and Jongho just looked at Mingi because they already knew that rule would be needed. Mingi looked like a kicked puppy, and your reaction made him feel even worse.

“Ha yeah… easy rule,” Jongho doubted, feeling that having the rule in place might end up causing more trouble than not having it, “Y/N, you will be living with eight guys around the same age as you. It’s more likely than you think…”

You calm down from your laughter, realizing that you were the only one not taking it seriously, “Oh… um— it’s not that I think it’s unlikely. It’s just that it won’t be a problem. Trust me.”

“The managers didn’t seem to think so,” Seonghwa frowned, giving you a worried look.

“I don’t think you understand, Y/N. Since we will all be living together and spending lots of time around you, one of us may end up developing feelings for you,” Yunho clarified, already glaring at Mingi. You suddenly felt very hot in your seat as eight pairs of eyes stared at you once again.

“Oh…” You addressed calmly, “Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news to whoever that could be, but I’m already in a relationship. So when I said to trust me, that it wouldn’t be a problem, I meant it.”

That’s right, you already have a boyfriend, Yn!! Sure… we’ve technically only been dating for a month and it’s not like we love each other. I was going to end things with him before leaving… I mean for crying out loud your love language is quality time! But I do like him though…and he wanted to try long-distance, sooo why not give it a chance. Right???, You internally screamed, kicking yourself ever since you arrived. You were a loyal person above all else and cheating was something you would never ever do. So they really did have nothing to worry about.

The group of boys had a look of relief on their faces, especially Hongjoong, who was glad that there was a solid reason for the rule to be followed. Mingi, however, had a blank expression on his face, trying his best to hide that he felt like he’d been shot by your words.

“Fantastic…” Hongjoong started, “… well then… shall we show you to your room?”

—Beginning of Summer—

The first month of living with them was truly an experience. Hongjoong and San had the best English, so you turned to them whenever the language felt overwhelming, though before you knew it, you were chatting comfortably with each of them. It felt wonderful to form such genuine friendships with them all. Hongjoong loved to share clothes and always showered you with compliments about your unique style. Ever since he discovered your birthday was the day before his, he affectionately started calling you “twin.” When Seonghwa caught you playing Animal Crossing on your Switch, he insisted you add him as a friend, and now you both trade items and play events together. 

Typically, when you hung out with San and Wooyoung, you found yourself either acting as a moderator or third wheel, but you didn’t mind one bit because they were always so sweet and made you laugh wholeheartedly; And whenever you craved some peace, you’d seek out Yeosang. His calm demeanor always put you at ease, and when he finally opened up, you discovered his hidden sense of humor, leading to a treasure trove of inside jokes between the two of you about the others. 

On the days when you deeply missed your family, spending time with Yunho was a comforting relief. He reminded you so much of your brother and always welcomed you to join him in video games, making everything feel just a little bit more like home. Jongho was happy to have you around since you were the youngest person in the house; only by a year, but to him it meant he could say, “I’m not the maknae, Yn is.”

You once thought that living with a bunch of boys would be a challenge, and while there were moments that tested your patience, they became the most incredible roommates you could have ever hoped for. Thanks to Seonghwa, the house always sparkled with cleanliness, and you never found yourself confronted by those gross odors typical of boys back in the States. To your relief, they weren’t overly rowdy either, which was essential since you cherished the peace and quiet. They would only unleash their loudness on game nights, revealing their fiercely competitive spirits. 

Playing games with them was a unique experience; there were times when you knew winning was a distant dream, and others when you felt a glimmer of hope. As you got to understand each of them better, devising strategies became easier. Jongho shared that same competitive fire, and when the two of you teamed up, you were a force to be reckoned with. However, it wasn’t long before the others grew a bit weary of your winning streak, and soon enough, everyone was reassigned to new game night partners. You pulled his name out of the bowl, which is how you ended up with Mingi. When the boys found out that your MBTI was INTP they called you and him the “two Ts in a pod”, thankfully though it didn’t catch on.

After the first week, your initial infatuation with Mingi wore off. So now you were able to enjoy having him as a friend. He was always around you when he could be. Watching movies with you in the living room, helping out in the kitchen as you made food, sitting on your bed when you folded your laundry, playing video games with you and Yunho, teaching you choreography at the studio, walking around with you whenever you decided to get some fresh air, doing his lives with you in the room— behind the screen though, as to not break the first rule, whatever you were doing he was there with you. You liked having him around; and now that it’d been a month of living with him, you considered him to be your best friend, and you were his— well… except when Yunho was around. He would get pouty and Mingi would have to reassure him, “She’s my best girl friend, Yun. You are my soulmate.”

“You mean it?” Yunho would sulk until Mingi would hug him.

“Soulmates since 9th grade,” Mingi reassured him, putting their foreheads together to do their little spin, giving you a wink as he faced you.

Your relationship with your boyfriend had been doing pretty well too. He was putting in a lot of effort to keep in touch with you, which was not something you were expecting but still appreciated. He would call you several times a week when the time difference allowed for it. You noticed every time you picked up his call Mingi would give you a look before he left the room. It was always the same look, and you could never tell what it meant because he somehow looked sad, annoyed, and unbothered all at the same time. Those brown puppy eyes of his made you feel uneasy as he closed the door behind him. It feels like guilt…why? Your calls with him were usually short, and afterward, you would go find Mingi and sit in a comfortable silence until one of you spoke. It was a strange routine you had and you still hadn’t quite figured out why you two had it in the first place.

“How’s the boyfriend?” Mingi asked, breaking you out of your head before you could go down a thought spiral. He’d never asked that question before.

“He’s good, about to go to sleep…” You looked into his eyes searching for any clues to fulfill your curiosity. You kept eye contact for a few seconds, though it felt like an eternity. His boba eyes searched yours, secretly hoping you could hear his internal struggle; wanting you to understand how he felt while also hoping you’d never find out. He looked away and put on a sly smile.

“Good, I get you to myself then,” he laughed. You rolled your eyes, glad to have your familiar banter back.

“You’ve always got me to yourself,” You shook your head, “I hardly get any time with him so it’s nice to have the phone calls.”

He just nodded and snarkily protested, “Yeah but you love me, not him.”

“I…” unsure of how to react to that you looked at the floor and thought, I should be offended that he said that, but I’m not. Your face actually felt kind of hot because of his words and you took a second to brush the feeling off before responding, “Of course I love you, Min. It’s different with him though. I may not be in love with him, but I really do care for him.”

He turned and smiled at you, reaching out to ruffle your hair up. You playfully swatted his arm away and smoothed your hair back down. He just sighed, “He better know how lucky he is to have you then.”

Yawning, he stretched and rested his hands atop his head, which lifted his shirt up a bit exposing a small area of his naval. It caught your eye and you found yourself staring, your face felt hot again. He looked over at you and smirked, “You hungry?”

“Wha—h-huh?” You looked away quickly, meeting his gaze as he lowered his hands back down, a small tint of blush was visible on your face.

“I’m hungry. Do you want to come eat with me?” He rephrased, giving you a knowing look.

“Sure,” you smiled sheepishly, trying to will away the butterflies you were feeling.

—Middle of Summer—

Your job certainly kept you busy, and you were feeling the rush of it all. It had been a few weeks since you started; KQ had graciously allowed you to settle into the house before handing it over to you.

“What’s your dream job?” Hongjoong queried. You thought about it for a moment. Having a job was never something you dreamed of, but you liked having something to keep you occupied, and of course, having money was always nice. Going to college meant you got to be independent for a while, so you did it for the sake of the experience. You majored in art and design since it had always been a passion of yours, but after graduating you weren’t too sure that you wanted to make it a career. It was always more of a hobby anyway.

“Hmmm, I guess I don’t have one,” Your face looked contemplative, but not sad. You were okay with this aspect of yourself, “My dream has always been to travel, so maybe if my job lets me do that then I’d be happy.”

Hongjoong nodded, thinking over your response and then smiled, “Lucky for you then that your job with us will have plenty of that.”

You perked up, “My job?” That’s right, that was part of the raffle. I almost forgot, “What will I be doing?”

After weeks of traveling to multiple places alongside them on tour, you were finally back home, even if just for a little while. That’s how you found yourself sitting on the floor in the middle of the empty studio late at night, staring at your reflection in the large mirror. Ateez’s newest assistant manager… has a nice ring to it I guess. You’re basically a glorified nanny— picking up food for the boys while they were practicing, running errands, and ensuring they didn’t overwork themselves. But, honestly, you didn’t mind at all; you had already been doing these things for them before anyway. It just meant you got to spend all day with them and get paid for it, which made you happy. The work wasn’t hard, and the salary was generous— far more than you ever earned at any of your jobs in the US. As you laid down on the floor and gazed up at the ceiling, you reflected on the long day you had. Watching the boys pour their hearts into perfecting their art deepened your admiration for them tenfold. You stretched out on the floor and yawned. I probably should head back to the house, I’m sure they’re all wondering where I’ve been. As you sat back up you heard a light knock at the open door. Mingi walked in and sat next to you, nudging your shoulder with his.

“You good?” He smiled warmly, giving you a much-needed energy boost. You smiled back at him and nodded, looking at his eyes— those eyes, gosh I never get tired of looking at them, full of so much emotion. He always looked at you with such care and it made your stomach flutter.

“Aigo, what time is it?” You opened your phone to check and noticed a missed call from your boyfriend, “Shit…”

Mingi’s eyebrows raised, “Where’d you learn to talk like—” He stopped as he saw the notification, taking a sharp inhale, and furrowing his eyebrows. You tried calling him back but it just went to voicemail.

“Shit. He’s probably upset that I didn’t pick up,” You put your phone down and flopped back onto the floor, looking at the ceiling once again.

Mingi had never seen you upset like this before and he hated it. Hated that he was the cause of it. He laid down next to you, your arms brushed up against each other, and he looked over at you, “Maybe he’s just asleep… I’m sure he’s not mad about one missed phone call.”

You could feel your eyes getting misty and you tried to blink away tears before they could form, “It’s not just one missed phone call. He’s been a lot busier lately and with my new job, our schedules just don’t line up anymore… I— I haven’t talked to him in a few weeks. I just don’t know what I’m doing with him anymore, Min. I’ve been with him for over three months… I thought by now that my feelings for him would have grown stronger, but they haven’t. Maybe I should’ve ended things with him like I had planned before coming here…”

Mingi thought hearing you say something like that would’ve made him feel ecstatic but it didn’t. He looked over at you and saw a single tear break free, rolling down your cheek. He thumbed it away and grabbed your hand, rubbing soothing circles on it. You covered your eyes with your other arm trying to hide as you started to softly cry. Mingi could feel tears threatening to bubble up to his eyes, but he forced them away trying to focus on consoling you. He continued to rub circles on your hand, slowly as you calmed down until the tears stopped. Your face felt hot and your eyes puffy. Using his free hand, Mingi slowly caressed the tear stains on your face. It made you understand just how much he cared for you, whether it be as a friend or as more, you didn’t care. What you truly cared about was the realization that you had devoted more time and affection to him, your best friend, than to your own boyfriend— you felt immensely guilty like you had been emotionally cheating. You know what you have to do, Yn. You turned to look at Mingi, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, his gaze offering you comfort.

“Thank you,” You whispered to him.

“For what?” He whispered back.

“For always making me feel better, for always being here,” You comfortably sighed.

“I’ll always be there for you, Yn. Always,” A stray tear started to roll down his cheek and you wiped it away, carefully caressing his face with your thumb. He closed his eyes and melted into your touch. You waited a bit to enjoy the moment before you spoke.

“I have to break up with him… don’t I?” You whispered so quietly that he almost didn’t hear you. His eyes opened when your words registered with him, making his heart beat faster.

He cleared his throat before answering, “Is that what your heart is telling you?”

You thought about it and nodded slowly. Your heart wasn’t telling you he was the one, and maybe you always knew it would end up this way. You knew with full certainty though that you’d be fine, as long as you had Mingi by your side.

It took a few days, but you were finally able to call him. You expected that he wouldn’t take the news well, but what you didn’t expect was him yelling that you didn’t even try, nor did you ever care for him. The phone call ended with your face once again tear-stained, shocked at his reaction, left wondering if you really knew who he was in the first place. 

As you opened the door to your room, Mingi was waiting, leaning against the wall. His arms were crossed and his face looked angry, you assumed that he could hear your boyfriend— no, ex-boyfriend— yelling at you. You were tired and didn’t want to deal with trying to talk him down, but as soon as he saw your face, his angry expression dropped, and he pulled you into a deep hug. His chin rested on your head, hot tears finding their way to the corners of his eyes. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, his warm embrace being everything you needed in that moment. The other boys had heard the yelling too and were huddled at the end of the hall, feeling a range of emotions, but most of all aching that they couldn’t do anything to help you right now. They each went back to their rooms, letting Mingi do what he did best. Love. 

After what seemed like hours, he graciously guided you to your room, helped you prepare for bed, and laid down beside you. That night, you found solace in his embrace, holding onto him tightly as tears streamed down your cheeks until you finally drifted off to sleep, comforted by his tender strokes through your hair.

—Last Day of Summer—

It’d been four months since you moved in and three short weeks since the breakup. The morning after, you had woken up to find yourself in bed alone, assuming that Mingi must have gone to his room quietly after you had drifted off to sleep. The events of the night before had been intense, you couldn't shake the memory of how furious he was. Though, strangely enough, you didn’t feel guilty like you'd expected. Instead, an overwhelming wave of relief washed over you. You hadn’t fully grasped the mental toll that relationship was taking on you, and now that you were free from him, you could finally see just how toxic he truly was. You felt silly for not seeing it before. 

So now that it’d been a few weeks, you were getting ready for work and found yourself feeling the happiest you’d ever been—enjoying single life and the moments spent with your eight amazing roommates. Feeling especially grateful for your best friend and the depth of his care for you. You thought back to when he helped you get ready for bed, even when all you wanted was to curl into a ball and sob until you lost consciousness. He chose your favorite pajamas, turned away while you changed, and gently helped you through your skincare routine. He even grabbed his toothbrush from his bathroom so you could brush your teeth together. Then, when it was time to sleep, he laid down beside you, ensuring you fell asleep with a sense of peace. 

Mingi was truly a blessing in your life, and your love for him ran deep. You couldn't help but smile, thinking about how his personality did a one-eighty from when you first met him to now; you laughed as you remembered the little crush you used to have on him. Used to? You stopped laughing, eyes shooting wide at your intrusive thought. You shook your head trying to clear it away like you were an etch-a-sketch, Yes… used to. I don’t anymore. I love him, but I’m not in love with him. Deciding to move past it, you finished getting ready and headed to work with the guys.

————————————-☆-—————————————

Today was a rare day, everyone had a free afternoon in their schedules and the boys had decided it would be fun to do something together.

“How about karaoke?” San suggested. Everyone looked at him with blank expressions and side eyes, deflating him a bit.

“Really? We just got back from the studio, no more singing today,” Yunho groaned, “How about an amusement park?”

Yunho’s suggestion made San perk back up, liking that idea much more than his own. The other guys and you agreed too, and you felt a rush of anticipation—an amusement park sounded like a blast, and luckily there was one not too far away. Memories flooded back; could it really have been so long since your last visit to a theme park? Maybe Disney World when I was ten? The thought sent a thrill through you, especially at the idea of the roller coasters, knowing how much joy they had brought you back then. A harsh reminder brought you down from your excitement though; a famous boy group in a crowded park? Not a good idea. You sulked, which grabbed the attention of Mingi.

“What’s got you down? You seemed so excited just a second ago,” he prodded.

“Did you guys forget who you are for a second? We couldn’t possibly go to such a popular place so close to a comeback, you’d be swarmed,” You looked at each of the boys, some of them already sporting a new haircut or color. Mingi’s grown-out bleach job was replaced with brown dye and blonde streaks. It made him look a bit like a calico cat actually, which you thought was really cute. Yeosang had neon green hair peppered with black stripes, Yunho’s hair was silver, and San’s flaming red hair practically begged for the attention of everyone within a kilometer radius. A few of them furrowed their brows, a flicker of understanding passing over their faces as they realized you were right. They slumped a little, the weight of disappointment settling in as they felt their fun afternoon slipping away. Hongjoong, however, pulled out his phone and smirked.

“Give me a second,” He said, dialing a number.

A couple of phone calls later, you found yourself in an empty, Lotte World, a surreal playground all to yourselves. The entire park had been closed for the rest of the day just for the eight boys standing beside you. Sometimes, you forgot about the immense power they possessed, and you found it extremely intimidating. The only other people around were you and the few park staff members left to keep the rides running. Oh— and a crew of cameras—Hongjoong only managed to convince them to go along with the idea by agreeing to have content filmed. So, while you were technically working, your only real task was to have fun.

This was the very first time you’d be on camera with them since the group picture that was taken when you first met. It sent a wave of unease through you as if a million prying eyes would be scrutinizing your every move. Mingi noticed the change in your demeanor as the cameras were being set up and turned on.

Instinctively, he draped his arm over your shoulders, his hand offering a gentle, reassuring comfort as he slowly rubbed up and down your right shoulder. You eased into his touch and felt your anxiety levels decrease as you searched for his familiar cologne to envelope your senses; he always smelled of wood, citrus, and mint, a combination you’d grown to love. Today though, his cologne smelled a bit more musky, like warm sage and sea salt. To your surprise it made your mouth water a bit; breathing in deeply, you asked him, “New cologne?” 

He looked at you with a smirk, hoping you’d notice. He gave a quiet mhmm in response, as he moved you in front of him and started massaging between your neck and shoulders. The varied pressure made you close your eyes and quietly sigh, melting beneath his ministrations. Pulling you a bit closer to him, he leaned down next to your ear, and just slightly above a whisper asked, “Alrighty then, where should we go first?” 

It made you jump a bit and squirm out of his hold on you, your ears felt hot. What the hell is in the air here? Mingi looked more attractive to you than ever and you swallowed a thick lump in your throat you didn’t realize was there. You coughed a bit to clear it, and the feeling, away before you spoke. Thinking about what you wanted to do most here, your eyes gleamed with excitement, “How about we go on a rollercoaster?”

As if it was now his turn to have his demeanor change, Mingi’s aura shifted. He no longer had that flirty air about him, instead, he froze. He tried hiding it, but his face went pale and eyes wide. The calm breathing he had before was replaced with shallow breaths as his heart rate picked up. He really was a big scaredy cat. You didn’t seem to notice though as you grabbed his hand and dragged him along with you to find the nearest rollercoaster, yelling out to the others, “Who wants to come with us?”

Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Yunho eagerly joined in, and San, wanting to stick close to you all, tagged along as well. However, when you reached the coaster, he suddenly hesitated, backing out and opting to wait at the entrance. “Are you sure?” you asked, disliking the thought of him waiting alone. He nodded quietly, but before you could offer to stay with him, Mingi interjected, “I’ll wait with him, it’s okay.” 

Mentally, he let out a sigh of relief, grateful for this easy escape from having to ride what he considered to be a death trap. You watched as they walked away from the empty line, heading towards the outside of the ride. Turning your attention back to the exciting rollercoaster in front of you, you felt a rush of anticipation as the employee prepared everything. You shared a glance with Yunho, both of you silently agreeing to sit together. Outside, San stood captivated by the sprawling metal structure of the coaster, while Mingi's gaze was fixated on the entrance. 

Once the initial sense of relief passed over him, a different feeling began to settle in—regret. Now that he was away from your side, he couldn’t shake the longing feeling that he wished to have stayed and pushed through his fears. It wasn’t until he was out of breath, one hand resting on Yunho’s shoulder, that he realized he had sprinted back. You were already situated in your seat on the coaster, and Mingi had just reached Yunho in time before he boarded. Yunho, recognizing the urgency in Mingi’s eyes, nodded with understanding, aware of his friend's silent plea, and quickly left to accompany San. You looked over with confusion in your eyes, but a smile on your face when you saw him sitting down in the seat next to yours, pulling the bar above over his shoulders to secure himself in. There was no going back now, but he didn’t care, as long as it meant he got to be beside you.

Despite how he felt on the inside though, he couldn’t stop his body from reacting to his fear. As the ride slowly started to go up the incline towards the first drop his eyes screwed shut and his breath began to match his erratic heartbeat. You heard the labored breathing next to you and saw that Mingi was absolutely terrified, worried for him you asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I…” He struggled to speak, hyperventilating by this point, “I’m scared of heights…”

“What!” Your eyes blew wide, full of concern, “Then… why did you get on?”

He grabbed your hand, and squeezed it tightly, hoping that your touch would help ground him, “I… I wanted to be with you.”

The coaster was now only a mere meter away from the drop, but all you could do was look at him. His desire to be with me outweighed his fear… Your eyes remained locked on him, brimming with a mix of love and concern. You gently intertwined your fingers, and he finally opened his eyes to meet yours. In those familiar brown depths, you could read his every emotion. His gaze had always been a window to his soul, revealing his true feelings. While on the surface he looked mortified, his eyes whispered a different truth—that he had never felt more at ease and secure in his life. As the coaster finally dropped he exclaimed, “Y/N-ah!— I love you!” 

The exhilarating rush of adrenaline from the coaster intertwined with his confession left you feeling truly electric. You raised your hands high, savoring every second of the ride, and slowly, he lifted his hands too, a radiant smile blossoming on his face. Seeing his huge smile as his fears melted away tugged at your heartstrings so deeply that whatever had been holding you back from embracing your feelings for him shattered completely. You found yourself swept up on a rollercoaster of emotions, realizing with extreme clarity that you were truly in love with Song Mingi, finally allowing yourself to believe in the magic of fate. Just loud enough for him to hear you gushed, “I love you too, Mingi-ah!”

You couldn’t see his face very clearly, but you could feel his warmth as he shifted your conjoined hands to press a heartfelt kiss against the back of your hand, causing the butterflies in your stomach to flutter uncontrollably. As the coaster finally came to a stop, your hand still remained tightly interlaced with Mingi’s, it just felt so natural; but when an employee approached to assist you both out of your seats and a camera crew waited for you to get off, ready to capture the moment, you found yourself reluctantly having to let go. Holding hands was a sweet, innocent gesture between friends, yet the presence of the camera made you hesitate, it felt too intimate in front of the lens. It took a bit of time to finally pry yourselves away from them, but once you did, you were hit by a sudden desire to get a bag of theme park popcorn.

Making your way back by yourself from a concession stand, you stumbled upon voices speaking in stern, hushed tones. You hadn't intended to eavesdrop, but when you heard your name being mentioned, it froze you in your tracks. Discerning the voices from each other you realized that, Wooyoung, San, Yeosang, and Yunho were talking to Mingi.

“I’m not stupid Mingi, and neither are they, we can clearly see that something is going on between you and Yn,” Wooyoung exasperated.

“Woah, woah, I never said you were stupid,” Mingi rebutted, feeling a little hurt, “Do you really think I would call you that and actually mean it?”

“Woo—” San warned, trying to bring his friend down to a level-headed place, “careful…”

Wooyoung glanced over at San, then to Mingi, and back to San again, taking a deep breath to calm himself because he wished to avoid making things worse, “Right sorry… what I mean is; We heard you on the ride, loudly confessing to her, and then you’re expecting us to pretend like we didn’t?”

Mingi looked at the ground and shuffled his feet, unsure of what to say. You listened intently once he found the words, “I’m not going to ask you to pretend. Feel free to shout it out like I did, but before you do, think about how it affects her. Not me. She’s the one that would face the consequences of my actions. If anyone is stupid here, it’s me. I was selfish instead of being smart. I don’t want to have to regret saying it to her, so please… not for me but for her, could it stay between us?” 

There was a silence as Wooyoung thought over the proposition he was given, and Yunho was the one that commented next, “I can’t say I’m surprised. I figured it was only a matter of time before you told her how you felt.”

“It’s just a shame you can’t do anything about it,” Yeosang added, always being one wanting to see love win.

“Well… not exactly,” San grinned, “We can pretend to not know anything. It’s just a matter of making sure that Joong, Hwa, and the managers don’t find out.”

“And Jongho,” Wooyoung added, finally breaking his silence, finding it hard to stay upset when Mingi’s puppy eyes were present.

“Jongho already knows about Mingi’s feelings, and he would figure it out pretty quickly if we acted like nothing was going on. Getting him in on it is better than keeping him out of it, he’s less trouble that way,” Yunho disagreed, earning concurring nods from the other three.

“Are you guys going to let me in on it too, or am I to be kept in the dark as well?” You chimed in giggling, deciding it was probably a good moment for you to join the conversation.

“How long have you been there?” Mingi asked, his face feeling hot.

“Long enough…” You smirk, giving him a knowing look.

“None of that…” Wooyoung butts in, “It looks hella obvious when you look at each other like that.”

“Like what?” You inquired, tongue in cheek, playing dumb. You felt frustrated by the assumptions being made, especially since you and Mingi hadn't yet had the opportunity to discuss it together.

Wooyoung sighed heavily, and once again Yunho spoke in place of him, “Look… we’ve all been away for a while, and people are going to start noticing. For now, let’s just head back and enjoy the park while we can, we can figure this out later. I’m sure we’re all hungry; where should we eat after?”

————————————-☆-—————————————

You once thought the world to be anti-romantic, but that wasn't always your belief. You grew up filled with hope, longing for the kind of love that danced through the pages of books and lit up the screens of movies, and you were certain that such love would one day find its way to you. It was, without a doubt, your heart's deepest desire. So when you got your first boyfriend, you believed that this was it, your dream was finally going to come true. Except it didn’t— you were only in middle school and two days later he dumped you for the girl you sat next to in class. It was okay though. You were a resilient kid, determined to not let a fleeting moment with a silly boy dim your spirit, so handling it with grace you moved forward. Throughout high school, you had crushes that flickered like weak candle flames, nothing ever truly igniting. It had slowly started to dim your hope. Your standards had become impossibly high molded by the enchanting stories of fictional romance that no ordinary teenage boy could ever hope to match. It wasn’t until college that you entered your first real relationship, the taste of first love felt exhilarating. It lasted for a couple precious years, but it all came crashing down when you discovered your only love had been cheating on you. You were heartbroken, utterly shattered, and this time, your hope didn’t have the strength to bounce back. You couldn’t help but wonder why you even bothered getting into that relationship with your most recent ex-boyfriend, especially when you hadn’t any hope it would work left within you. That is, until you met him— the man sitting in front of you who you hadn’t realized took your shattered hope and pieced it back together with his gentle love. So now, as you watched him set a piece of food on your plate, you could say with full certainty that you no longer believed the world to be anti-romantic, and that true love does exist, it just takes its time to find you once you’re ready for it.

You paused in eating, eager to capture Mingi’s attention. He was always so completely immersed in his food when he truly enjoyed it, and you couldn’t help but find that trait of his really adorable. When he finally looked up and caught your gaze, a wide smile appeared across his face, making your heart swell. Looking down at your shared table, you made sure that no one was looking before you turned back to him and mouthed, I love you. 

You didn’t know it was even possible for him to smile bigger, yet somehow he did. A soft giggle slipped from your lips when you noticed the tips of his ears turning a cute shade of pink, and with an adorably flustered expression, he cupped his face in his hands, trying to hide as the color deepened to a vibrant red. Your heart raced at his reaction, and you could feel a warm blush creeping onto your cheeks. Wooyoung, sitting beside you, caught onto what was going on and lightly nudged your shoulder and Mingi’s foot from beneath the table, delivering a silent reminder that you both needed to tone down the obviousness. Eventually, he uncovered his face, scratching at the back of his head as he struggled to redirect his focus back to his plate. Just when you thought the tension might linger, Hongjoong came through with a perfect distraction— a drinking game. He set down on the table a lottery spinner, and the balls inside held rousing questions just waiting to be unleashed. Rules of play were simple; a spun fork chooses who gets to go, when you get a ball from the cage you have to answer its question, and if you don’t, take a shot.

Hongjoong started off the game with the first spin. You watched the fork tantalizingly go round and round before it stopped on… you. A nervous grin was plastered on your face as the spinner was passed down to you; you gave its handle a couple of turns before a ball popped out. Opening up the small plastic container, you pulled out a folded piece of paper, and smoothed it out before reading aloud, “What physical feature do you find the most attractive?”

A small wave of ‘ooo’s and looks of curiosity passed throughout the group. You weren’t expecting the questions to be risqué, yet here you were, staring down at one that made your stomach do a flip. Your throat felt suddenly dry, and everyone staring at you in anticipation made your seat feel hot. Out of all the people there, Mingi was the last person you expected to say, “Oh, this’ll be good…” 

He had his arms propped up on the table, his chin resting on his hands, and a sinful grin playing at the corner of his lips. To you and the guys who knew, it was painfully clear what he was up to, but to those who didn’t, he appeared to be nothing more than a playful, teasing friend. You gave him a warning glare, to which he responded by mischievously poking his tongue slightly between his teeth and scrunching up his nose. He’s cute… so I’ll let it slide.

“Welll? What’s the answer!” Wooyoung poked, wiggling his eyebrows, earning an amused chortle from you. Figuring there’d been enough suspense for the night, you cleared your throat and then quickly answered, “Lips.”

“Any size?” San inquired, joining in on the apparent group taunt fest.

Face getting red, you answered, “No… I like big lips the most,” Looking down you quietly added, “ I-I mean…I really like kissing and it makes it more enjoyable. At least it is for me anyways, I don’t speak for anyone else.”

Not realizing the effects your words had on him, Mingi’s leg was nervously bouncing, and his cheeks had a slight dusting of blush on them. Ending your turn, you spun the fork and silently prayed that it wouldn’t land on you again for the rest of the night. Round and round it went, coming to a stop on… Mingi. He opened the ball that the spinner spit out for him and read it aloud, “Who was your last spicy dream about?”

His head whipped up in shock, his eyes wide with mortification reaching for his glass to take a shot, receiving a few disappointed groans from his curious friends. After downing his drink, he locked eyes with you, giving you a silent answer that secretly you had desired to know. Smirking you decided to take the opportunity to mess with him like he did with you.

“Come on man, not even going to humor us?” You teased. Wooyoung had stifled a cackle at the look on Mingi’s face— a nervous side eye as he shook his head, spinning the fork to end his turn. You just snickered, feeling content with his reaction.

————————————-☆-—————————————

Nighttime had fully settled in by the time everyone left the restaurant and the hot humidity of the day had dissipated from the air. It was a warm, refreshing walk back to the house, and with the bittersweet knowledge that it was the last day of summer, you felt a deep yearning to do one last thing before it slipped away, “I want to get some ice cream, any of you guys want to join?”

The guys paused for a moment, weighing their options, but after a long and exhausting day, they ultimately decided to head home for some much-needed rest. As expected, Mingi chose to stay behind, lingering in the promise of alone time with you. Once the guys had walked out of view, you felt slightly awkward, uncertain about how to move forward now that things had shifted between you. Almost immediately, though, Mingi reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers in a gentle embrace that brought a sense of comfort through his familiar presence. He always had a remarkable ability to put you at ease in those moments of tension, making your world feel just a little bit lighter. As you started your journey towards the nearest convenience store, he cleared his throat, “So… big lips huh?”

You playfully punched his arm with your free hand and then covered your face, embarrassed you admitted to that truth earlier. He moved your hand away gently so that he could look at you. One of the first things you noticed about him was his lips, and every time you looked at them it stirred something within you. Deep down you’d always wondered what it would be like to kiss him, how his plush lips would feel on yours. Would they be firm? Soft? Slow or hungry? You couldn’t help but stare at them now. He smirked as he realized where your gaze was directed and he licked his lips, “What kind of ice cream do you want?”

You looked away to find that you were already in front of a freezer stocked with the sweet treat. When did we get here? He pulled out a banana flavor for himself and waited patiently, thinking quickly you answered, “Uhhhh… strawberry.”

He picked one out just for you, went inside to pay, and then returned to settle beside you on the bench outside. In the warm air and a comfortable silence, you both savored your ice cream; every now and then stealing glances at the other, before returning back to your delicious treat. You both were acting like giddy kids with their first crush. As you took the last bite of your ice cream and discarded the wrapper in a nearby bin, out of the corner of your eye you spotted a playground and booked it for the swings. Mingi, caught off guard by your sudden movement, understood quickly and followed after, tossing his empty wrapper away. 

You loved the swings, always feeling a rush of freedom when you soared through the air like a bird. Slowly, you swung back and forth, tilting your head back to catch a glimpse of the stars, though you could only catch faint glimmers due to the bright city’s relentless light pollution. Mingi mimicked you, but he ended up losing his balance and tumbled right out of the swing seat. He hit the ground with a soft thud. Instantly you rushed over, anxiously checking if he was okay. His small, infectious laughter reassured you that he was fine, and you couldn’t help but join in, finding it hilarious how he always seemed to forget just how tall he was. 

You grabbed his hand to help him sit up and dusted the dirt off his shoulders, not realizing how close you ended up to his face until you felt his warm breath on you. He was biting at his lip as he stared at yours, causing your heart to flutter. Your faces merely a couple of centimeters away from each other, you’d only have to move just a bit to— Mingi pressed his lips upon yours, closing the gap between you. His lips were soft, like a velvety pillow against your own. You could feel the gentle tickle of his breath beneath your nose, as his fingers wove through your hair. He pulled you closer, deepening the kiss as you both lost yourselves in the intoxicating sensation of each other’s touch. His tongue brushed against your bottom lip, and you happily parted, granting him access into your mouth. In that moment, you realized you would forever love the combination of strawberry and banana that flooded your senses. After what felt like a blissful eternity, you finally separated, your breaths mingling as you rested your foreheads together. He smiled gently, eyes sparkling, and he gave you a quick, tender peck that held a world of affection, “I love you so much, Yn. Ever since I laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one for me.”

His words made you absolutely melt, making you feel like the main character of an early 2000s rom-com movie, “You gave me the hope to believe in love again, Song Mingi.” 

You gave him a deep, heartfelt kiss, pouring into it every emotion you desperately wished to express for him. He grinned against your mouth, glad that he finally had you.

“I’m going to safely assume that this means we're dating now, in secret?” He said looking at you with his beautiful brown eyes that made you feel weak in the knees.

“Oooh, this will be fun. Dating in secret, like we are in some kind of sitcom or something,” You grinned, assuring him he was right in his assumption, “We should head back soon though if we want to keep this a secret.”

—Middle of Fall—

Six months since moving in and over a month of secretly dating Mingi. You two have become quite skilled at creating the illusion of being just friends, though really the only thing that had changed was that now you shared kisses when no one else was watching. For Halloween, you had a couple's "besties" costume;  you dressed up as Fred and Daphne, and somehow you had convinced Yunho, Yeosang, and Jongho to be Shaggy, Scooby, and a gender-bent Velma, to keep suspicion at bay. Hongjoong and Seonghwa seemed none the wiser, and you and Mingi were as happy as ever.

—Beginning of Winter—

7 months. You began researching apartments in the area, knowing that you’d much prefer to stay in Korea than return to the States. This was home for you now. During your secret sleepovers, Mingi would eagerly share his thoughts on which neighborhoods offered the best apartments, that somehow were always conveniently within walking distance for him. You weren’t going to complain though.

—Christmas Day—

8 months. Mingi surprised you with a gift you had always hoped for over the years, and you couldn't help but wonder how he knew that you wanted it. He must be able to read minds… oh, Jesus, I hope not. The thoughts I’ve had about him… You gave him a handmade gift, which made him cry; he was such a deeply emotional person, which you loved more than anything. 

Christmas was one of your favorite holidays, and you had always wanted to share a kiss with your boyfriend under the mistletoe, a sweet moment you had never experienced before. When you had spied some dangling over a door frame, you scanned the area for watchful eyes before you pulled him in for a quick kiss. Well, maybe not so quick… he pulled you back in, turning it into a fervent, hasty make-out session that left you both breathless.

—New Year's Eve—

Only a few days later, the guys and the KQ managers had organized a team New Year’s Eve party. As the clock struck midnight, you and Mingi locked eyes from across the room, playfully blowing kisses to each other, not daring to do it for real in front of everyone. Though, once everyone had gone to bed, you finally got to share your New Year’s kiss, “Happy New Year, Yn.”

“Happy New Year, Min.”

—End of Winter—

10 months. It was nearly a year since you moved in, and today was your five-month anniversary with Mingi. You both were fortunate enough to have the day off and at last, you could finally celebrate together. Since Hongjoong and Seonghwa dedicated their entire day to fine-tuning their Matz performance at the studio, you two were free to do as you pleased, without having to worry about getting caught. He surprised you with a wonderful breakfast, that he made himself, and after you finished eating together, he excitedly told you to get ready because he had something special planned for the day. 

As you were getting ready though, outside rain began to pour, heavily; the moment the first crack of thunder rolled in, it became clear that your plans were dashed. You heard a soft knock at your door, and Mingi poked his head in with a warm smile that brightened the gloomy atmosphere, “Change of plans, put your pajamas back on. Let’s make a blanket fort.”

So you did, and it was amazing. It was enormous, full of soft pillows, twinkling string lights, and an array of fluffy blankets to lay on. The fort’s opening was perfectly positioned right in front of the TV in his room, and you had a double feature of each of your favorite movies.

—Beginning of Spring—

Work comeback was happening in a couple of months and the festival performances were starting to pick up, and after the long winter break from the last tour, you were excited to be traveling with them once again. KCON was upon you in just a few days, and you felt like a hamster tirelessly running on a wheel amidst the whirlwind of preparations. Yet, despite the chaos, everything felt just right because you got to spend every day by his side, watching him passionately rehearse until he deemed the routine to be perfect. He always looks so hot when he’s dancing.

“You’re drooling, Yn,” Yunho laughed.

“Ha ha… am not,” You snapped out of the trance Mingi had you in and you wiped your mouth, it was dry, Yunho was just teasing you.

“You practically were,” San jumped in, also noticing how you were staring, “Gotta be more careful, you’re gonna give yourself away.”

You looked over to where the managers, Joong, and Hwa were, talking to each other about KCON details, “Yeah… they’re too busy to notice anything right now. Thank god…”

“You were looking at him like some horny teenager,” Wooyoung chimed in, joining the bandwagon, “Heck if I didn’t know any better I’d think that you two haven’t— nah, you two have had… right?”

You looked at him with big eyes, face red as ever, whispered yelling at him, “Shhhhhut up, Woo.”

“Are you serious? You two really haven’t slept together yet?” He looked shocked. Yunho pushed him a bit, signaling him to cut it out.

“Who cares if they have or haven’t. It’s none of your business,” Yunho defended.

“Thank you, Yun. It really isn’t his business,” you huffed.

“Yeah, Woo, we all live under the same roof. We would hear them if they were,” San theorized, thinking that he was helping, causing you to hide your face in your hands out of embarrassment.

“They could go somewhere else,” Wooyoung rattled on.

You let out a muffled groan, “Why do you want to know so bad…”

“Know what?” Mingi had walked over to take a water break, wondering what had you so flustered.

“Why you two haven’t fucked yet,” Wooyoung said nonchalantly.

Mingi choked on his water, sending him into a coughing fit, he croaked out, “Wh-what? W-why are you talking about that?”

“The way Yn was looking at you earlier… let’s just say it wasn’t very PG,” Yunho attested. You glared daggers at him. So much for defending me earlier, huh?

Mingi looked at you with a smirk, “Oh really?”

“Please not you too. This is four against one now, it’s not fair,” You whined quietly, “It’s also not a very safe topic of conversation, there are people here that aren’t supposed to know about us, remember??”

They all looked over at said people, who were still not aware of what was going on, you continued, “It’s far too public to talk about that.”

“Careful there, Yn. Your words sound borderline suggestive,” Wooyoung jested.

You got up and started to leave, “Yeah no, not doing this anymore. I’ve got things to do, gotta work ya know.”

“Ahh come on, I’m just having fun,” Wooyoung pouted, Mingi pushed him slightly, causing him to fall over. The three boys just laughed at him as you left the room, taking a much-needed calming breath as the studio door closed behind you.

————————————-☆-—————————————

There was a team meeting in fifteen minutes, and you found yourself preparing coffee for everyone, standing in quiet anticipation as you waited for the coffee maker to finish brewing. Suddenly, you felt a pair of arms wrap gently around your waist, drawing you into a warm back hug. Mingi rested his chin in the crook of your neck, “I’m sorry for earlier. Woo has no filter when it comes to that sort of thing.”

You turned around and hooked your arms around his neck, “Oh I know. It’s fine really, no harm done, just extremely flustered is all.”

He nodded, moving his hands so that they settled on your waist and lazily rubbed circles, “Still, he shouldn’t have kept messing with you. So what if we haven’t? Why rush? We have the rest of our lives together.”

“The rest of our lives?” You grinned.

“Of course, you’re not getting rid of me that easy,” he laughed.

You smirked, “Well I hope I won’t have to wait that long…”

He raised his eyebrows, mouth slightly agape, you continued on, “Do you plan on making me wait, Princess?”

His face flushed at the nickname, caught off guard by how it was used. With a spark of newfound confidence, you playfully continued to tease him, letting your hand glide down his chest before using your pointer and middle finger to slowly walk in a line back up. He leaned in closer, his voice taking on a graveled tone, “Of course not, I just never wanted to make you feel pressured, that's all.”

“You could never make me feel pressured, Min. We don’t have to rush, but it’s been pretty long already… don’t you think?” You whispered, faces close enough to feel each other’s breath.

Mmm, was all he could muster in response before crashing his lips against yours. Unlike the first time you kissed, this one was filled with a deeper hunger and a passionate fire that burned for the other. He lifted you effortlessly and set you down on the counter, continuing to kiss you with fervor, moving from your lips to your ear, and then trailing down to your neck. A soft gasp escaped your lips, and you felt him smirk against your skin, a mixture of desire and longing building inside you both. His hands snaked up under your shirt, resting his hands above your waist, and you carded your fingers through his hair, while your other hand pulled him in closer to you. 

“Hey Y/N, the new choreographer is lactose intoler—” Seonghwa entered the room, stopping at the sight before him. You both broke apart immediately. Mingi helped you down from the counter, and you bit at your thumb nervously. Seonghwa just stared at you both, dumbfounded, and then continued as if nothing happened, “—anyways. Just make sure that you don’t put milk in there alright… I saw nothing.”

As quick as he entered, he left, leaving both you and Mingi in shock. You giggled nervously, “Welp! Hwa knows now. Do you think he will say anything to Joong?”

Mingi thought for a moment before he shook his head and laughed, “No, I think we’re good for now, but it’s probably best to save the hot and heavy stuff for when we aren’t at work from now on.”

You flashed him a sheepish grin as the coffee maker chimed, signaling that it had finished brewing. Turning to pour the dark liquid into each cup, you tried your best to recompose yourself after what just happened. Mingi snapped the lids on once you were done, then offered his hand to help carry half of them to the team meeting, a small gesture that made your heart flutter.

—Coachella—

12 months since winning the raffle, and one week until you had to move out. Lord have mercy on my soul, pleaseeeeee, was all you could think when your platinum blond boyfriend walked out of the dressing room. You felt embarrassingly turned on just by what he was wearing; an unbuttoned jacket, and distressed jeans that left little to the imagination, paired with a large faux tattoo scrawled across his chest advertising his signature phrase. It was all too much, you could already feel your face heating up, and the sweltering weather of the valley was not helping; Neither was the fact that you and him still hadn’t found the chance to relieve any of your accumulated tension… since there was always someone around to interrupt your attempts, keeping you from going through with what you both longed for. You had reached a point where sexual frustration was constantly bothering you, with no way to resolve it. Before you and him had talked about the possibility of it, self-satisfaction was enough to ease the longing, but now, not even that could provide the relief you desperately craved. Just seeing him walk around had you involuntary pressing your thighs together. You had never felt more aroused before than you did now and it was becoming distracting to your task at hand. 

Your job today was to lend a hand with quick changes and keep track of props. The guys would soon start their last performance and you still hadn’t double-checked that each prop was in its correct spot backstage. Shaking your head to clear your mind, you got up and headed towards the prop table. Everything was in its rightful place and you didn’t have much to do but wait, so you kept yourself busy by fiddling with the cane that your silly boyfriend held during his part in Arriba.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to play with the props before?” Mingi leaned in, whispering sweetly in your ear from behind, startling you and causing your heart to race. You spun around, eyes wide, holding your chest as if it would soothe your erratic heartbeat. With furrowed brows and a lighthearted faux frown, you swatted at him, but he effortlessly dodged your playful attempt.

“Jesus Min! Don’t sneak up on me like that,” You lightly chastised as you crossed your arms, not actually upset just spooked.

“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t resist,” He smiled, hands up in the air in surrender, “Anyways, are you excited for the show?”

“Always!” You beamed.

“What do you think of tonight’s outfit,” He did a little twirl, holding out his arms, displaying the large tattoo for you better. Trying to hide the blush on your face you looked away from him, and he grinned, “I’ll take that as a yes then?”

Nodding, you turned your gaze back to him, biting down on your tongue, your eyes lingering on him with a mix of lust and love, “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear…”

“I’ll go put a shirt on right now, I can’t have you dying on me,” He joked.

“No, keep it off. One less thing to take off later,” You teased, feeling proud as you watched his face turn a light shade of red.

“Oh? What’s later?” He flirted back, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes.

“You’ll find out after the show,” You grinned, leaving him hanging, and giving him a reminder, “You’re on in five.”

“Cheer for me?” He said, flashing a cocky smile as he slowly started walking to join the rest of the guys.

“Of course! Knock ‘em dead, Princess,” You winked, blowing him a kiss.

————————————-☆-—————————————

The morning sun poured in through the hotel curtains, gently coaxing you awake. Your eyes fluttered open, landing on tousled, messy platinum locks. As you yawned, you felt the comforting shift of Mingi’s arm around your waist, drawing you in closer as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck. A soft giggle escaped your lips, feeling tickled as his breath brushed against your bare skin, memories flooded in of all that unfolded the night before. Clothes discarded around the room, his strong grip holding you firmly against the wall, his gentle touch igniting waves of unimaginable pleasure as you both came undone together. Wrapped in each other's warm embrace, eventually drifting into blissful sleep.

“Morning, Love,” He smiled softly against your skin, his voice coarse and warm with the lingering embrace of sleep. He started placing soft, lazy kisses along your neck, and you let out a content sigh.

“M’good morning, Min,” You moved your hand so that you could play with his hair. It still felt soft despite all the times it had been bleached. He hummed happily and you wished that you could stay just like that all day, lost in each other’s presence, but there was so much that had to be done. Begrudgingly you said, “We should get up. There’s a music video that needs filming…”

With his morning voice still present he groaned, “No, let’s just stay here. They can get it done without us.”

You airily laughed at his pathetic, and cute, attempt to convince you, “I wish, but alas it’s quite unfortunate that it can’t be done without us.”

He moved above you, propping himself up with his arms, a sinful look in his eyes, “What if I tried persuading you in a different way,” He slid his knee so that it was in between your legs, slowly moving it up, and pressing lightly against you.

“Mmmmm, tempting,” You breathed out, trying your best to prevent yourself from letting him rile you up, “but I would rather not risk getting scolded by Hongjoong.”

He sighed, a smirk on his face as he flopped back down on the bed, “Okayyy… you’re right.”

“There’s always later tonight, though, if you’re still feeling persuasive,” You grinned, planting a quick kiss on his cheek before you hopped up.

He called out to you before you went into the bathroom, “Count on it, Love.”

—End of Spring/Move Out Day—

The year had flown by and your time at the house had come to an end. You cherished every moment spent there, but a thrilling sense of excitement grew within you for the new chapter awaiting in your new place—conveniently just a few minutes away within walking distance, just as Mingi had always hoped. You looked at your empty room in the house one last time, a bittersweet ache settling in as you closed the door behind you. All of the guys awaited you in the living room, ready to help you get settled into your new apartment. As you looked at each of them, you were reminded of all of the great memories you spent with them over the year, and tears threatened to spill from the corners of your eyes. Half of them had already been crying, and the other half seemed on the verge of starting as they pulled you into a warm group hug. As they let you go, Hongjoong spoke, “I guess this means I can finally stop pretending like I don’t know you and Mingi are dating, huh?”

He enjoyed the look of surprise on everyone’s faces; no one knew that he knew, not even Seonghwa who felt betrayed, “How long have you known?”

“I guess I always knew it would happen eventually, ever since her very first day here. I would be quite disappointing as a Captain if I couldn't sense the feelings of my team members,” He explained, “Plus I saw them canoodling on the playground last summer. Way to be subtle guys…”

“Ope! He’s known since day one,” Yeosang cracked up, covering his mouth.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You asked, confused.

“The primary reason behind the rule was to prevent conflict. I knew that if I had spoken up and kept you two apart, it would have created even more problems than simply allowing you to be together. Deep down, I couldn’t help but secretly wish that you both would finally start dating, the tension had become almost too much to bear,” He reasoned, then smiling sweetly he admitted, “I’m rooting for you both, genuinely.”

You heard the soft sound of sniffling and turned to see Mingi in tears, his arms outstretched, longing to hug Hongjoong, “Captain… I love you, you really are the best.”

“Yeah, yeah… I love you too— “ He dodged the embrace, redirecting the topic back to you, “Let’s get you moved into the new place shall we, Yn?”

—Epilogue—

Life started to feel like each day was unfolding in a beloved book or favorite movie. You were offered a permanent position at KQ, which you eagerly accepted, thrilled at the thought of seeing the guys every day. You found genuine delight in going to work; albeit it was a strange feeling for you to actually be excited about your job for once, but nevertheless you had no reason at all to complain. Eventually, you got the chance to visit Hinata on a trip to Japan, and when you introduced her to your boyfriend she damn near passed out. She was absolutely ecstatic for you, insisting that you had to make her your maid of honor since she was the one who encouraged you to do the raffle in the first place. You couldn’t help but shake your head and laugh, reassuring her that there was truly no one else you would rather have in that special role when the day came. Mingi joked with her, “I haven’t even proposed yet and she’s already assigning her maid of honor…”

Jokes aside though, he couldn’t wait for that day to come, already dreaming up the perfect way to do it; And he always seized every opportunity to tell you that you were the love of his life and he couldn’t wait to spend forever by your side. You were his everything— and Mingi was yours.

“I love you.”

“Forever and always.”

Masterlist

[shoezuki]

Im ramblin bout the next ch of my stupid fic under the readmore dont look if u dont wanna be spoiled? I guess?

Essentially cuz its switching to geps pov hes waking up in a hospital/the infirmary for the silvermane's thats a part of qlipoth fort. And its him reuiniting with serval and lynx which is sposed to be emotiomal n all that or whatever. And when serval mentions how gepard was found outside the walls gepard realizes that Sampo Isnt There n promptly freaks out.

Im struggling to go from the reunion to the freak out, and then to a scene where serval basically strongarms gepard into staying in the infirmary and tries to offer to inform the silvermanes to search for sampo which gepard interrupts n says No, no one else can know about sampo. So he essentially admits to serval hes always known she deals in some of the less legal relic and artifact trade n he asks her to use her uh. Expertise to ask around subtly.

N i am Struggling w how to progress this organically cuz idk if it should all happen back to back. Like i Could cut it at gepard refusing the silvermane's be informed, then the next day without lynx present he talks to serval. Writing this now i May do that cuz then i can fit other scenes like the doctor informing gep bout his health after serval n lynx leave. Or if i do it all in one sequence i would need to modify and expand the role i imagined lynx playing. Because either a) gepard doesnt want lynx to 'get involved' or know bout serval's less legal dealings, or b) lynx 'finds out' bout everything (altho she already knew bout serval) and she essentially enlists herself to search for sampo outside of belobog.

Like idk i think a big thing is lynx's role. Idk how to inject her into this or where to fit her and im still uncertain bout how to depict her character.

But even after that like i have multiple instances in mind of gepard being stuck in the infirmary and multiple ppl visiting him like bronya, captain dunn and other silvermane guards visiting him, gepard receiving a gift from his father/parents, etc. And i am unsure how to write it cohesively. I may end up with a more montage-like description of such events before gepard eventually convinces doctors to let him leave

Im in a strange state of apprehension regarding my doctor fic where like.

I know the scenes i want to have and vaguely the order they should go in but im struggling to write like. Who should be where and how to go from scene A to scene B, how to fit it all in a sequence that makes sense, etcetc n i know for a fact im overthinking it but gotdamn

[broadwaybalogna]

I, a Zutara shipper, would have way more fun self inserting on Mai

So why don’t I?

A short essay on self inserting, what it means, my experience, and why it shouldn’t be a problem.

So the ‘problem’ of me self inserting recently arose again with discourse surrounding a post of mine. I’ll spare you the details, but someone, in an attempt to make me look like a bad person (I assume) said that I was a “self insert”. At first, I was confused because I don’t understand why something like that would be used as an insult. Then I remembered the horrible stigmatization that self inserting has had on the atla fandom.

So I’d like to bring light to what it truly means to self insert.

For this short essay, I’ll be using the term “self insertion” as defined by Wikipedia:

“Self-insertion is a literary device in which the author writes themselves into the story under the guise of, or from the perspective of, a fictional character. The character, overtly or otherwise, behaves like, has the personality of, and may even be described as physically resembling the author of the work.”

First, I would like to go over why I would personally prefer self inserting on Mai, since it’s technically the clickbait for this post.

I had a very large emo/goth phase a few years back. I loved wearing black, chokers, being depressed, etc. while I don’t necessarily identify with that version of myself anymore, I still hold high praise to any and all people who are emo/grunge/goth/fall under that kind of category. Now, I’m not saying that Mai is emo, she’s actually the exact opposite as she doesn’t display much of any emotion, but she is a badass female character who has space buns, a fiery personality, and really cool weapons. I actually like the idea of her a bit more than Katara, and it would certainly be easy to self insert onto her since her character was never really fleshed out.

(Look at her… she’s so cool. I can’t decide if I wanna be her or be with her…) this would probably also be a great time to say that I don’t feel here nor there about Mai in fandom spaces. There are many anti Mai people out there, but I honestly don’t care much for her at this point other than what I’ve already established.

I can relate to a good portion of her problems (being the face of her family, holding their reputation, not having many friends etc.) so self inserting on to her would honestly be no problem for me. So why don’t I do it?

Because my characterization as a shipper doesn’t revolve around myself. If it did, I’d totally okay into that sarcastic brooding gf because I think it’s kinda badass.

I ship Zutara not because I personally wanna be with Zuko, but because I want Katara to be with Zuko. Does that mean that I don’t self insert onto Katara? Hell to the no.

Self inserting helps me understand a character to the best of my ability. In order to figure out how a character might act, react, or approach a situation, I have to put myself into their shoes, that’s just how I work. I don’t think this is a mindset that is personal to just me either, there are plenty of other people who self insert onto Katara and Zuko in order to best convey the realism of their stories.

Now, I’ve self inserted onto BOTH Katara and Zuko, (which probably won’t stop the haters any more than before since I am attracted to both men and women) and in each of those times, I am sure to always stay true to the original characters. I am always considering how the characters were brought up, what they have experienced that has shaped their personality and how they have behaved before.

But I can’t just rely on that to help me tell a story. I have to feel the characters. I have to know what they’re feeling and how it affects them.

This may seem weird, but when writing, I’ll often close my eyes and imagine myself in a scenario much like what the people I’m writing about are experiencing.

This is how I became well known for some of my writing.

I’ve written monologues for characters to say that reflect my own experiences to help give myself and others peace of mind.

I’ve written relationships based on flaws I’ve had with people in my life.

And I’ve written hate. Because I feel hate, and I know that Katara and Zuko do too.

Self inserting shouldn’t be viewed as something that’s horrible for authors to do, it should be embraced. There shouldn’t be a world where people can’t share their experiences through people they relate to.

If you can’t see yourself agreeing with me, I’m sorry, but I don’t think we’ll ever see eye to eye. This is something that I am passionate about, and I will not be thrown off my stance because of a small insult.

In conclusion, I could very easily self insert onto Mai, you could even say it would be lemon squeezy, but self insertion isn’t the only thing that drives me to ship characters, and it never will be. I am a complex person with complex emotions that have led me to look at Katara and Zuko and envy their relationship. Yeah, I want it, and there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that.

[earth-avatar-niva]

HELP ME DECIDE POLL

Because I'm having trouble deciding which way to go, I decided to get input from others to see what you all would like to see/possibly get pointers for stuff as I'm aware I'm not the best writer. Note that a lot of this was written while I was drunk this past Friday, so either way the notes/story beats/ect need a lot of work to actually make sense. That being said, here's the following ideas for each and let me know what y'all think is the best option.

Regardless of her status as either a nonbender or a bender, I do indend for there to be some conflict with Lavi and Niva. This can go one of two ways:

Lavi (as a nonbender) - not only feels inferior because unlike her, Niva can just like. Bend at all. The fact she's the avatar makes it that much harder in that she's also essentially the most well known benders and is 'one of the best' by default. This also comes off of my wish for the Equalists to be written better in Legend of Korra cause it was kinda….meh….tbh. It wasn't great when I first watched it while it was airing and it wasn't great re watching it earlier this year, so in this aspect of the rewrite I want to work off of that idea and see if I can make it better at all - in this, Lavi at least secretly agreeing with the Equalists, even if not 100% with them (may not agree with all of their tactics, but agrees with the message). In this version, her arc would include getting over her feelings of jealousy and learning to be more confident in herself and her fighting ability despite being a nonbender.

Lavi (as a bender) - Like before, may have hints of "you're 'one of the best' by default" attitude, but it wouldn't be as intense since in this scenario Lavi is also a bender. A lot of her emotions would stem from feeling her training wasn't taken as seriously/her accomplishments felt less special compared to the avatar. They wouldn't be ignored, but there would definitely be a sense of living in her sisters shadow. May be more open to hearing out the equalists POV because of this(wouldn't be as understanding as her nonbender counterpart at the start, but this would serve more as an arc for her to understand to nonbenders more). Right now I kind of want to do airbender in this senerio, though I am open to other bending types (earthbending included, though I lean more to something other than earthbending since I want to establish the family as multicultural).

Either way, I intend it for a sort of Lavi feeling inferior to Niva. Also since the "you're 'one of the best' by default" attitude is present in both, I do want it to come across as a bittersweet mix of 'I'm proud of you, but I envy you, but I'm proud of you'. Like a sort of "I wish you could see how amazing you are" mixed with "I wish I was treated with as much respect as you" deal rather than a 'I despise you' sense.

[pyropsychiccollector]

Do you have any interest in Pokemon? Not because I want to nerd out about it specifically, but because... let's just say, I've been rather inspired after reading your Raincode stuff, and watching some Pokemon animations online. (人◕ω◕)

Still have to determine if this is merely a temporary spark, or a true desire to write out what I have in mind, however~ (人◕ω◕)

You know, it's strange. For all I talk about Sayaka being the "source" of so many muses and subsequent harem ships these days... My true, honest beginnings - my first forays into discovering and reading fanfiction in general lies in...

Ash x Misty. n___n I must've discovered fanfiction.net myself back in, ooh... 2004? That feels so long ago. I'm old. XD Had no interest in writing back then, I was just thirsty for a ship that canon kept mercilessly teasing me with. No other anime I liked had me so invested in a ship. I suppose Digimon eventually hit me with Takato x Rika, and Takuya x Zoe, but Ash x Misty was definitely my origin point for anything fanfiction. That was the first time I ever Googled "Ash x Misty stories" or anything of that ilk. Seeing so many stories on ffnet made me proud to be a shipper for them. lol

Granted, I was a kid. And the quality of fanfics was as varied as it is these days. But back then I didn't care so much if some stories were cheesy. I remember coming across aged up Ash and Misty scenarios, a more adult and nefarious Team Rocket terrorizing them, Ash as the Kanto Champion and TR trying to get to him by assaulting/kidnapping Misty.... That was one of the better written fanfics I read back in the day.

That all said, am I still a Pokeshipper these days? Ash x Misty, sure. And shinobisage09 made a Ash harem card a while back...

In terms of my tastes? Ash x Misty is my highest priority. Ash x Serena is alright, I just haven't watched the XY anime to grow attached to that ship, while the original Pokemon anime was my childhood. XD Ash x May is okay, very neutral to that one... Ash x Melody is fun. She was only in the 2000 movie, but man she left an impression~ Melody is probably the reason I enjoy Natsumi Kuzuryu so much. Or rather, girls like them - spunky, tough girls that have tender sides they don't like showing. Ash x Anabel is fun, too, from what I remember of the Battle Frontier anime... Ash x Dawn is okay, like May I'm pretty neutral about it. And then the grass girl there... I haven't watched the Sun and Moon anime either, so I dunno what that ship - or rather, how the girl thinks about Ash....

I guess to summarize, my favorite Ash ships are Misty, Melody, and Anabel. Serena to a little lesser extent. Then Dawn and May. Then anyone else, so long as it's not toxic or creepy. XD I suppose that girl from the fifth movie... Bianca, I think? Or Latias in her form...? Whichever it might be, the kiss at the end of that movie was cute, but I'm a bit unsure about dabbling in human x Pokemon.... Not sure if that's a kink of mine. It might be easier to "assume" that was the real Bianca kissing Ash, and not Latias... Even though the evidence points to the contrary. lol I'm used to burying my head in the sand~ XD

But I digress. Outside from Ash...? Uh.... Probably the only other Pokemon ship I like is Brock x Lucy (the Pike Queen). That episode in Battle Frontier was awesome. XD Beyond that, I can't think of other ships in Pokemon that I like. I haven't read the manga, so I'm neutral to any Red, Brendan, Krys, or any of their ship stuff. I do find Leaf to be cute. Claire is hilariously tsundere. Cynthia is bae~ Gardenia is cute. I love Team Magma Courtney, specifically her Omega Ruby version. She's crazy, but I like the crazy~ XD I don't necessarily ship those girls with Ash. Maybe Courtney x Brendan (Hoenn protagonist), but that's about it.

[chronicbeans]

Happily Never Afters

This is a little list of characters and information I came up with for a new... Story? X Reader Series? Idk. I just came up with them and liked them. I will update this as I come up with more characters. For the sake of this not taking up a large portion of the screen, I will put all info, including basic details, under the read more. Trigger warnings will be above it, however, just so people don't stumble upon things that might disturb or trigger them.

TW: Murder, Death/Decay, Disease, Body Horror(?), Curses, Obsessive/Possessive Behaviors, Stalking

Basic Info: I kinda wanted to practice writing more fantastical horror and horror romance ( would that be called dark romance? Idk). So, the basic premise is that these are fairy tales that are switched up, with none ending happily due to those changes, hence the cliche name for the series. I don't really see it as a series that has an overarching plotline, either. Just a bunch of scenarios. Small things will be changed around, too, just because I am interested in the ways that those things can change the plot. Examples of those could be the classic "evil stepmother" now being an "evil stepfather" or a character now having a sibling when they didn't beforehand. The intention of this is to both practice writing and to entertain others, lol. So, there may be weird scenarios, scenarios being written over again with alternative endings, and other such things. If anybody is interested in requesting stuff for certain characters, be it scenarios, headcanons (well, idk if it would be called that due to me being the person creating it, but anyways...), or anything else, they are welcome! Especially since you all may have ideas that I would've never been able to come up with.

With basic info out of the way, onto the characters!

SNOW WHITE characters:

Snow White/Gertrude - She's Snow White. The evil queen tried to have her killed by a huntsman, of course. However, her twin brother, Walter, overheard the plan and convinced Gertrude to let him go in her stead, dressed as her. She didn't believe the plan was true, until news came that Walter was killed, with his heart missing. This caused her to run into the woods, meet the dwarves, and to live with them. Soon, the animals and crops near the little cottage started to die, and she had the feeling that she was being watched. When the evil queen came to give her the apple, disguised as an old lady, Gertrude was desperate and hungry enough to take it and eat it. The curse in this version was not a curse of sleep, but instead, a curse of living dead. She is... Dead, but she is alive. She walks around, and on a first glance, she looks alive, but sickly due to her pale skin. Once you take a closer look, however, you'll see how her eyes are pale and glassy, how her lips look slightly purple of black. She doesn't decay, but the things around her do in their own way. While only edible, crop plants like corn, lettuce, and carrots tend to perish, animals of most every kind die away from disease. The telltale sign of Gertrude's presence, as well as Walter's, is chronic wasting disease in the deer populations near them. Gertrude only became known as Snow White after the curse befell her. True love's kiss would still free her from the spell but... Who would want to kiss an undead woman.

Walter - Walter is Gertrude's twin brother. He also has the nickname of Snow White, with people in nearby villages and towns arguing over whether Gertrude or Walter is the real Snow White. He overheard the queen's plan to have the huntsman kill his sister, so he went in her stead, knowing that a simple change of clothes and lack of speech could possibly trick him. They have always looked uncannily similar, after all. While he was in the afterlife, standing next to his own corpse as a ghost, a fairy godmother came to him. She offered him a chance to save Gertrude from the queen's next trick and to bring him to life. The catch was, he would be under the same curse as the one that the queen would cast on her. If he saves Gertrude in time, the curse would be lifted from him and he could go to the afterlife, and if not, he would never die and the curse shall never go away, not even with true love's kiss. After accepting, he tried to get into contact with his sister, only to fail because of his ghoulish appearance and the disturbing deaths of all the animals around him scaring her away. Once the curse was placed on her, he began to dedicate his undead life to finding her true love. In his eyes, if he can never die or find happiness, he might as well find a way for his sister to do so. He loves her too much to let her suffer.

The Dwarves ran off once Gertrude was cursed, afraid of what she has become and convinced that she would hurt them. Due to this, the twins now live in the cottage alone, trying to live as normal of a life as they can. They can't feel pain, instead feeling uncomfortable, but painless sensations. Random, tickling feelings like insects crawling on them to sudden bouts of heat or cold. Another side effect of the curse is feeling overly strong emotions. Sadness is the main one, due to their predicament, but anger, happiness, and love are also stronger and more intense than before.

CINDERELLA characters:

Cinderella/Ella: Her name is simply Ella. The parts with her working for her evil stepparent and stepsisters are the same, except for the fact that her stepmother is now a stepfather, that is well-known by the nobility due to his growing company. When it comes to the ball, her fairy godmother gives her a different spell than the simple "go to the ball, and at midnight, your clothes will turn back into rags". Instead, the spell is that she needs to go to the ball and dance with the prince, or else at midnight, the magic pumpkin flowers she used to repair Ella's dress will grow around her and drag her back to the wild pumpkin patch they came from. Ella accepts, not seeing the true weight of the downside. When she goes to the ball, she dances with the man she believes to be the prince, having never seen the prince before and getting confused due to all the fancily dressed noblemen around her. When she is dragged to the pumpkin patch, she notices how the vines have grown into her ankles, keeping her grounded to the pumpkin patch. The worst part, however, is that she can go to the edges of the patch, but not far enough to get help. She makes one last wish with her fairy godmother, which is that true love's kiss will free her, with the catch of this wish being that it will not come for at least three years, then after a multitude of lovers may come around to try to free her with a kiss, with only one being her true love that will succeed.

Prince Charming/ Prince Maurice: Prince Maurice takes the role of Cinderella's "Prince Charming". He knows Cinderella's stepfather, Claude, due to how well-known his company is. Maurice has even met Claude to discuss the company. One of those meetings resulted in him meeting Cinderella, as she leads him to her father's office, with Cinderella not knowing that he was a prince because her father purposely kept her in the dark. This simple meeting results in him becoming completely obsessed with Cinderella. From scheduling more meetings to try to see her, to even going as far as dressing as a peasant to stalk her as she runs her errands. During the ball, he sees her and tries to get a dance with her, only for her to dance with multiple other men under the assumption that he was a simple company owner instead of the prince. When he hears that she is trapped in a pumpkin patch, and that only true love's kiss can save her, he immediately heads over to save her. In his eyes, his obsessive love is true love, meaning that they are meant to be. Depending on the version of the spell, his belief that his love is true is what makes the spell work, despite the fact that, objectively, he isn't in LOVE with her, he is in OBSESSION with her. In other versions, where his kiss doesn't work, he tries other ways to get her for himself.

THE LITTLE MERMAID characters:

The Little Mermaid/Emil: I saw somewhere that the original Little Mermaid was written by a homosexual man who failed to get with the love of his life, which was, of course, another man. So, I decided to make the Little Mermaid in this version of the story a male merfolk named Emil, who fell in love with a pirate captain instead of a prince. He makes a deal with the Sea Witch, Clara, to become a human for a day. If he doesn't get with the pirate captain by the dawn of the next day, he will turn back into a merfolk, which could result in him suffocating on land. He fails to get the captain to fall in love with him, resulting in him turning back into a merfolk while on the ship. The captain saves him by placing him in a large barrel full of seawater, where they kept fish to be sold or eaten by the crew. Instead of letting Emil go back to the sea, however, the captain instead decides to parade him around like a freakshow in order to get free gold from the numerous towns his crew stops by, with Emil having no real way to escape. As much as he tries to comfort himself with the fact that he is, in a way, a part of the captain's crew, it doesn't help because he has realized that the captain doesn't see him as a person.

PLAN TO ADD:

Beauty and the Beast

Sleeping Beauty

[words-dead-to-the-outer-world]

Worldly Experiences of a "Broken" Writer

The world has told me to be quiet, and since my elementary years, my opportunities have been limited to what the majority thinks of me. Trans rights, reproductive rights, and disabled rights. It’s all but completely shattered. Some days, it feels like writing is my only form of communication. Written text is my only “voice” in a sea of noise that doesn’t care at all about the lesser of us. I’m going to keep writing, I will not be silenced.  I will continue to annoy my friends with the most random things in our text conversations. I’m going to keep reading and studying the art of writing. This is who I am and you cannot take away my pen and paper.

I notice myself being more inclined to pick up the hobby of coloring again. I bought myself a color by number style coloring book to help alleviate the stress that is picking colors that match aesthetics. As I was working through the first page, I noticed that I found myself thinking more about the aesthetic, or “vibe,” of my novel. What does “Ephemeral Hearts” look like? So, I took a break from my coloring and I opened Pinterest, I got myself lost in Alice in Wonderland, references to nostalgia and losing time, and the overall romanticization of life. I connect to my characters a lot. I see myself as the anxiety ridden Echo, always just wanting Day, the dream-filled reader constantly yapping on about the books they read and the life they wish they had. 

How does any of this connect back to my loss of identity and me finding it again? World connections. I can connect myself to the outside world through coloring, or I can retreat back to a safe haven of bliss with my novel. Either way, I exist. I exist in colors and shapes and I exist vicariously through my characters' world. Is that such a bad thing? Escaping every once in a while? I guess not, though there are conditions like maladaptive daydreaming, which according to Sleep Foundations, is a condition where one disassociates from reality and may act out what is happening in their daydream (Summer, Bagot, 2024). I haven’t gotten that far, the worst thing I do is imagine my book as if it were a movie; the way my characters look, behave, the settings I put them in, they all come together to give me the story I crave.

I have made a lot of friends online who are writers. We talk to each other about anything and everything, including writing. We send each other our work and we talk to each other through issues our characters are having in the story (even though we put them in those scenarios, we can’t seem to write them out of them). One thing I’ve learned a lot from my journey of writing and being in creative spaces is that I should let failures become opportunities. Jennifer Wilusz, chairman of Conquer Chairi, told me that when I had to interview her for my Creative Writing as a Profession class. And I continue to do that through endless workshopping sessions and editing content and proofreading, I have let every single failure I have encountered become an opportunity for success.

During Creative Writing as a Profession, we worked on figuring out what should go into my school’s literary magazine, what the cover should look like, how the internal composition should look, and much more.This opportunity gave me the chance to see what even a mock version of a decision room in a publishing company looks like. I am more excited than ever to see where my career takes me. I know writing will help me get away from what hurts me the most and that’s the short-lived heart (see what I did there?) of the problem.

I write to give myself a sense of purpose. As a disabled and trans creator, there aren't many opportunities for me to showcase what I can do, not without some form of backlash or sympathy (or, let's be honest, bad attempts at empathy). I’ve always gotten the question “what are you going to do with your degree/writing?” I’m going to be a writer. That’s all I want to do. I don't care about how I get there, I’m going to get there. 

According to StopThinkWrite, the first step to starting your writing journey is analyzing your writing style. I like to think I’m somewhere in between casual and formal. Okay, check. Next, create. Okay, have an outline or some form of planning set in place, check. Find the right publishing path. Fucck, where does this fit? Is this better suited for traditional publishing with a company like HarperCollins? Small indie publishing? Self-publishing online like Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP)? I don’t know..pause. I’ve had it in my head for a while that I’m going to self-publish and put my writing online. I have the resources to do that. It’s a time-consuming process. Okay, I get over my selective laziness, buck up, and do it. I have people who I know want to read this book. I know I don’t want them reading the first draft garbage on my computer. I want people to have something tangible. 

Step four, marketing. I have social media galore and word of mouth. Next, Diversify your income. What the hell does that mean? I’m disabled, it’s not like I can go get a job and not have people harass me at every turn. 

Indeed.com, LinkedIn, make an account, okay, sign up, yes. Filter by remote, writing, okay. And so many things pop up. Okay. What am I a good fit for? Let’s start there.

I’m still working on the last thing. My family is constantly asking what I’m going to do to actually make money, because “You can’t make money with creative writing!” Why am I studying the way I am? Why am I working my ass off to write these things that I could have never imagined possible? I only ever wrote in journal entries to my therapist before this point. I never thought I’d make it here. But I am here, and I’ll continue to make it there (there being an author). 

Like I said, the world doesn’t care about the lesser of us. Have you read the news? The one event I keep pulling up when people talk about if we need disabled rights is the ‘Capitol Crawl,’ a protest on March 12th of 1990, where over 1,000 people marched from the White House to the Capitol in demand of Congress passing the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). It was a showcase of how non-accessible buildings and other “free-to-enter” structures like school buildings are inaccessible to disabled people. (Little, 2020). I promise you, seeing an 8-year-old wheelchair user like Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins crawling up the steps of the Capitol building would make anyone who has a heart and empathy wonder what drew them to feel the need to do that. 

I’ll tell you my perspective. The last time I was on the Purdue University Northwest (PNW) campus, I realized that to get to an elevator in the Gyte building, you have to either go up or down stairs. Thankfully for me, I am ambulatory. But what about those who aren’t? They have to have an aid to make sure they can get around anywhere without increasing the severity of the symptoms of their disability.. I also never understand when people will redefine the word “hurt” as “damaged.” If someone’s hurt, and they aren’t unable to perform the task that needs to be done at some point or to some degree, they aren’t damaged.

On Monday April 29, 2024, The Telegraph released an article stating that the national Health Service (NHS)’s constitution was updated, which has to happen at least every 10 years.  My issue does not necessarily come with the wording of the amendment: “We are defining sex as biological sex.” This makes sense, gender and sex are two separate concepts. Sex is your physical anatomy, while gender is how you present and express yourself, it’s a pretty easy distinction. My issue lies with the way that the transphobes are taking this. Female (sex) patients had complained about having to share the same sleeping quarters with trans women (Donnelly, 2024). This is a stupid argument to make. It’s not like they have to sleep in the same bed or anything. In fact, most people are turned away from people if they’re rude and intolerable, didn’t you know?

I am a transgender male. Let me say that again. I am a TRANSGENDER male. I am not going to get any surgeries as of right now, due to not being able to afford it. Not that you really had to know that but it is relevant in this case. In September of 2022, Roe V. Wade was overturned using the court case Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. Where this is heading now, we see Planned Parenthoods are being closed down or repurposed to not have any contraceptives that are necessary for men or women’s health. Dobbs v. Jackson states that after the Supreme Court reviewed Mississippi’s Gestational Age Act and concluded that the constitution does not protect abortion, court cases Roe v. Wade (1973) and Parenthood v. Casey, were overturned. Parenthood v. Casey fought five different Planned Parenthood clinics in Pennsylvania, arguing against the rights of informed consent, spousal notice, parental consent, the definition of what a medical emergency is, and reporting requirements (for risk of doctors losing license). The bear and the man is a social experiment where people, typically women, pose scenarios that are seemingly harmless, and ask if you would rather have a bear or a man in the scenario. 

For example, there were comments under a couple TikTok videos saying that if the person were to take a younger sister or  niece to the park they wouldn’t be worried about bears, they would be on the lookout for suspicious men. These types of scenarios are why safety measures such as “scary dog privilege,” were invented. Scary dog privilege doesn’t have to be a dog. Most people mean it as someone who is older, stronger, or just looks more intimidating so that any unwanted people will look the other way and stay away.

With all of this being said, my journey with writing and my experiences in the outside world, I write to give myself an escape; I also write as a form of protest. I write so that when I am gone, there will be a legacy of something tangible for people to look back on. Whether they like it or not is not my issue. I am concerned with it existing. Getting my thoughts and ideas out on a blank piece of paper, saved on a computer, or hastily written in my Notes on my phone is all that I care about. Because as long as that’s happening, I know that I am preserved. 

References

Donnelly, Laura. “NHS to declare sex is biological in landmark shift against gender ideology.” The Telegraph, 29 April 2024, https://www.yahoo.com/news/nhs-declare-sex-biological-landmark-230100791.html?fr=sycsrp_catchall. Accessed 1 May 2024.

Little, Kelly. “When the ‘Capitol Crawl’ Dramatized the Need for Americans with Disabilities Act.” History, History.com, 13 March 2024, https://www.history.com/news/americans-with-disabilities-act-1990-capitol-crawl. Accessed 30 April 2024.

National Constitution Center. “Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization (2022).” constitutioncenter.org, n.d., https://constitutioncenter.org/the-constitution/supreme-court-case-library/dobbs-v-jackson-womens-health-organization. Accessed 1 May 2024. 

Oyez. “Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania v. Casey.” oyez.org, n.d., https://www.oyez.org/cases/1991/91-744. Accessed 1 May 2024

[arwainian]

Reading This Week 2024 #21

As I am still getting into the swing of making these posts regularly again, its coming a little bit late! I've been pretty absorbed in trying to finish a crochet project, so reading has often been a little secondary unless I've got a good audiobook to go with it

Finished:

Tomie by Junji Ito, translated by Naomi Kokubo read for the sake of getting to read along with Shelved by Genre, and I blasted through it before they announced the pace they would be reading it, whoops. Lots of domestic violence, stalker, and abuse imagery along with the body horror. I think it's kinda lacking in terms of a conclusion, but it did give me a nightmare because the rules of how the horror worked were established but also flexible enough that my sleeping mind could construct its own Tomie scenario, so I think that makes it a successful piece of horror

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, audiobook narrated by Rachel Dulude read for an upcoming sff bookclub meeting. to me this reads like a novel version of a clssic episodic scifi show like some sort of Farscape, and while that was charming, i think it suffered from not having as many episodes as a television show would have to develop its characters. the characters of Corbyn and Ohann I think were just handled poorly in general (more could have been done to give either of their arcs more weight), but also i loved the lizard aliens in this!

Lumberjanes, Vol. 1: Beware the Kitten Holy written by ND Stevenson, Grace Ellis, & Shannon Waters and illustrated by Brooklyn Allen read for upcoming June queer lit bookclub. this was kinda nostalgic for me because my dad got me these comics as they were coming out, but i never really read them that much! fun and charming, tho now more than ever I side with Jen.

Started/Ongoing:

The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories by Ken Liu I am reading this collection of short stories on recommendation from a friend! I started reading slow but now I'm trying a method of alternating between crocheting a round and reading a story and that is going very well! Of what I've read so far, I absolutely adore State Change, The Regular was very suspenseful, and the title story The Paper Menagerie made me cry! Also my audiobook hold at the library has come in so I may also read using that

The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley, audiobook narrated by Jayne Entwistle so a kid I'm friends with was telling me about books she thought were good and out of respect for her I'm trying the first couple chapters of all of them even though I'm out of their target age demographic (can you hear my bones creaking as I try not to be a snob?). 2 chapters in, I'm not quite sure how i feel/if I'm compelled enough to keep on reading, but if there's a middle schooler in your life who likes historical fiction this might be worth checking out!

Reading Plans: since the last update, I have put together an organized list of books and other reading to do for my thesis this summer! here's hoping I follow through As i mentioned above, a kid I'm friends with gave me some book recommendations that I'll be checking out because my library has audiobooks for all of them! I've also got some other recommendations from friends on hold at the library, and some other random holds on Libby coming in that i need to check out. other than that I'm going to try and finish the Ken Liu short story collection this week and

[ovaryacted]

So, I thought I might as well add my input on this topic since I think it’s very interesting to see how other people process writing smut.

For me personally, I have a pretty vivid imagination so I’d usually pick a character in my head, and simply ask myself: “How would I want them to fuck me?” And I know that seems silly considering you are writing things for other people to read, but I find it the most helpful if I put myself in the situation I am trying to write.

A lot of my thinking in imagining certain scenarios involving sex, whatever it may be, are also pretty dependent on how I characterize the individuals in the story. For example: for Joel Miller I already have set distinctive sexual characteristics for him depending on which version of him I write for. Like for QZ!Joel, to me he is more inclined to rough sex so he’ll do x,y, and z; versus Jackson! Joel is a bit softer so he gets a soft!dom characterization and does x, y, and z.

For me, it genuinely helps to do a little bit of character analysis on the characters I’m writing for, and naturally the way I think they would behave during sex or doing something sexual/intimate comes naturally. I keep things in my notes to reference all the time and grow on the ideas I’ve already had in mind.

As for choosing when and how to write the smut itself, I stick to using additional sources for the scene I want to create: music, references to erotic audios or porn (helps with positioning), previous smut scenarios I’ve written down, relationship dynamics, specific key words for dirty talk, etc. Of course, it all depends on what you’re trying to write, but for the most part it’s helpful to keep things as references for you to use to “set the mood” so to speak.

Sometimes, I will also think of the smut first, and work my way backwards to build everything that happens before and after. For example: rough make-up sex = arguments and fights beforehand = angst. There’s nothing wrong with building off of the smut/sex scene first and letting it play in your head like a movie in reverse. In a way, doing this helps you know all aspects of what you’re trying to write inside and out.

I also genuinely just think with my coochie and write whatever the fuck I want, come back to it and start adding things more about the relationship dynamics, conversations, aesthetic, etc. I treat all of my docs as dynamic living things that can consistently change, so my words move with the scene I write, it’s meant to flow together like sex is in a way.

Finally, a big part that goes into me writing smut involves reflecting on my personal experiences with sex and kinks, and using my writing as a way to express my desires or things that I’d want to partake in. Personally, I’ve always been a very sexually curious individual who is self aware in their kinks and knows what they like, but we live in a society where being sexually expressive as a woman is characterized as a bad thing.

So usually, I just write smut with the intention of writing situations where being so sexually free is fun and ideal. Yes, I tend to add realism to my smut just cause I genuinely hate how certain things are depicted in porn, so sometimes my writing comes from a place of spite and going against the grain of what we visually see and understand in the context of sex especially when regarding kinks. (I studied sex education in college so that impacts the way I think lol). But either way, it works for me lmao.

This was a lot, but I hope it’s helpful to some people and others are able to take something away from my thoughts. :)

Question for Fic Writers

So I'm curious about something. If you write smut, how do you come up with the scene/scenario?

For me it just sort of comes to me when I'm thinking about my characters. Like especially for my chaptered series, I'll be thinking about the characters and their progression and then a smut idea for them will just pop into my head like a movie scene. I rarely feel like I'm struggling to come up with a scene bc my brain just sort of fills in the blanks if that makes sense?

But I wanna know about other writers. Do you have a kink/trope you want to write and just fit it in wherever? Are you writing from irl experiences? Do you just have a specific type of smut you want and then write for it? Do you see something on Bellesa House and want to recreate it (LMAO)? Do you have people requesting a certain fantasy/kink/trope and write based off that?

Please share bc I'm super curious!

Sound off in the comments or reblog with extended commentary if you're a yapper like me.

full pressure tags (if I forgot anybody I'm sorry!):

@frannyzooey @ezrasbirdie @joelscruff @atticrissfinch @perotovar

@swiftispunk @kedsandtubesocks @chronically-ghosted @ghostofaboy @ghoulettesinspace

@toxicanonymity @umnitsa @quinnnfabrgay @bizarrelove-triangle @ozarkthedog

@agentmarcuspike @beardedjoel @magpiepills @noxturnalpascal @beelzebeth87

@not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @sp00kymulderr @luxurychristmaspudding @janaispunk @max--phillips

@covetyou @strang3lov3 @iamasaddie @iamskyereads @cavillscurls

@hier--soir @romanarose @goodwithcheese @neverwheremoonchild @netherfeildren

@beefrobeefcal @for-a-longlongtime @burntheedges @missredherring @qveerthe0ry

@grogusmum @prolix-yuy @demonsandbullets @leslie-lyman

[beesandwasps]

Urgh, Text Editors

This is a bit of a rant, and most people won’t be interested at all, so I’m hiding it below a “keep reading”.

If you have never done any programming or web design, or have only dabbled in them, then you may not be aware of Text Editors as a Thing. TextEdit on the Mac, or Notepad on Windows, are the very low-end, featureless bottom of the heap for this sort of thing — you can edit code files with those programs, but they don’t have any specialized tools to do common stuff.

I’ve been using BBEdit for this purpose since sometime in the (very) late 1990s. BBEdit has been a good tool for this purpose — it has all the usual features of IDEs like syntax coloring and autocompletion, it does GREP-based find and replace (and before Mac OS X, GREP-based find and replace on the Mac was a rarity!), it can link up to revision control systems like git and subversion, it can either run files directly in their own windows (if they are of a type where this makes sense, like Python scripts) or send them to the Terminal to run on a “real” command line, it has file comparison and multi-file searching built in, it can open and save files from servers using various protocols so you can do touchups of web design remotely, it is one of the few programs which still have full AppleScript support (so you can not merely write macros but interactive macros with GUI access), and of course it has a massive toolkit for HTML editing. Also, it is actually written for the Mac, not a port of something written for Windows or Linux. (If you’re a Windows user, and you have used QuickTime Player for Windows, then you know the feeling you get when you use a program which is noticeably “expecting” a different OS. Most open-source programs feel like that on the Mac for at least the first 3 major releases or so. Some — like VNC — never really get over it.)

In the last couple of years, I’ve just been using the last version I paid for, which was version 12, on my very old Intel-based Mac. But I had to get a new machine for various reasons, and so I’m now on an M2 CPU instead of Intel (which, incidentally, is mostly great — to get this kind of performance from an Intel CPU you’d have to buy one of their top-of-the-line models with massive cooling requirements and a huge price tag, and this is running in a laptop and hasn’t even reached the point of needing to turn on the fan yet no matter what I have thrown at it). That means I have very little choice about upgrading to the new version, which is 14, and… they have changed to a subscription-based license. (You can use the program for free without a license, but most of the features which make it worth using will stop working.) Now, in all fairness, I probably wouldn’t be spending more this way than I have been. They’re asking $40 per year. Adjusted for inflation, I’ve been spending about that much over time, what with occasional upgrades.

(And I have no problem with the idea of paying for software. If you want good software, stuff which is easy to use with responsive tech support and timely upgrades, paid software beats open source every day of the week — and you don’t have to worry about big tech companies like Google and IBM perverting the course of the project as you do with, say, Linux.)

But although I understand the motivation of switching to a subscription model — it evens out their revenue stream so they have a better idea of how much money they will have in future years as compared with selling one-time licenses — the switch does mean that if Bare Bones Software, the company writing the program, goes under, then under the subscription model the program will stop working a year after the last renewal, even if you stop installing OS upgrades and leave the machine exactly as-is. They might do a final release which fixes that problem in such a scenario but then again they might not — even if they are totally benign, it’s possible that they might go out of business so abruptly that nobody has time to authorize, recode, and release such a thing. (Or they might have the old BeOS graphics layer problem, where the one person who actually understands the code dies unexpectedly.) Bleah!

So I’ve been looking into alternatives. There are several.

Sublime Text looks like it’s basically meant to be a BBEdit equivalent; they’re asking $100 for it, which is a bit hefty depending on how long that lasts. (How often do they intend to charge for upgrades, and will there be discounts for upgrades or do you have to re-purchase the whole thing?) I’m doing some evaluations now.

Apparently you can get the Microsoft Visual Basic IDE for Mac OS X which… I’ve heard way too many complaints about it, from people who were actually running it on Windows; it is probably unfathomably bad on Mac. Reviewers seem to like it, but I don’t trust reviewers these days. Not with all the content-spamming review blogs which just parrot marketing materials — and as I say, actual Windows users complain about it a lot. (Plus: if I wanted to fire up a whole IDE every time I was going to edit a text file, I would use Apple’s XCode, which I’ve been avoiding on purpose except when I actually want to compile a program.)

There’s something called Atom, which even the positive reviewers note is slow and resource-intensive, and a lot of its supposed positives either don’t apply to me or are actually things I consider negatives. (“Cross-platform”? Oh, you mean it will have an awkward interface that reinvents a bunch of GUI wheels instead of using the built-in system controls.) But it’s free. Oh, it’s also been discontinued. Well, never mind, then.

UltraEdit appears to be very similar to BBEdit, except that it’s cross-platform (and I have confirmed: the Mac GUI is awful) and some of the tools built into BBEdit are farmed out to other programs which you potentially have to buy separately. Oh, and I just checked and they are also on a subscription basis, except that they charge twice as much as BBEdit. Wow, what a dead end of a program.

Oh, and also there are apparently GUI-packaged versions of a couple of the really awful old CLI text editors, vi and Emacs. I have tried both in the past and would rather repeatedly slam my hand (or, shall we say, any other portion of my anatomy) in a desk drawer than use either one, thanks.

Looks like I’m either going with Sublime Text or signing on for a BBEdit subscription. Ugh.

[lgwebspacethemedfmp]

Playtesting & Feedback 3

There was a snippet of the campaign that was modified a bit and ran twice with two different groups to see how well it played in preparation for potentially using that specific scenario in the showcase later on. This was both to gather feedback on how the scenario was set up and any potential issues with it, as well as practice for running it in person as that is something that I am unfamiliar with.

The first run through was with teachers which definitely helped with actually being able to get through the session and getting used to running something in person. I have trouble talking to people, especially if I do not know them well or at all, and that is the case for close to everyone in the classes, so it was incredibly helpful to do something I haven’t done before with people I had talked to before before running it again with people that I haven’t. 

The first thing that was apparent was that in order to have the snippet be a standalone, I still needed to provide context for the rest of the campaign up until that point, so in future it would be useful to bring the background sheet and a summarised version of the plot hook with me to read out before hand. I was able to provide it from my own knowledge but the explanation was a bit scattered both times due to uncertainty in the scenario. 

The second thing was the improvisation of character lines and voices. When running parts of the campaign with my friends online, most of the things they need to know (descriptions, character responses, etc) are written out, which gives me time to think about it and make sure I don’t repeat myself too much (the downside to this is that there is a period of waiting while I type it out). I think that this will get easier to do over time with practice, but I think a solution could be writing down some generic lines or responses and memorise those like a script. Way back when (up until 5 years ago) I used to perform on stage a lot, and one time I had to memorise an entire passage of a line which I still remember, so treating some parts of the snippet like this may be very helpful with explaining what’s going on more clearly. Another thing this may help is my stutter, as the effects of it are close to negated when saying lines, singing, or talking in an accent (it works for most or all people with one, it is quite interesting).

Something that may be an issue is the number on the dice being too high and unattainable, either that or the two groups that were played with were plagued with bad rolls in that moment. Everyone in the first group failed the roll to catch the dog, so in the attempt to test more of the rolls, I improvised a roll for the dog to stumble, which it failed. The second time around, only one person succeeded, which was fine as it allowed me to test the comparison roll between the dog and the player. He won.. and proceeded to kill the dog. Surprisingly, I had accounted for someone potentially doing that prior and murdering the canine had a written effect on the aftermath. 

The second run through was with people I was unfamiliar with which was a bit nerve-wracking, but it got easier the longer it went on for. The improvising became marginally less difficult as the longer parts had been said about ten minutes prior. Furthermore the laughter made the scenario more light and also easier to get through the snippet without panicking. When it came to the dice rolls, one failed right off the bat, which was received remarkably well. Between the three people playing they reached all three of the first outcomes which was good on my end for testing purposes. They all failed the second roll to catch the dog who ran to the bakery next door. They went after him and decided to just stay there which is where it ended.

Overall, the testing went well in my opinion, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be, and I think if I were to run it again with people I didn’t know well that I would be more confident and be able to start it easier. I know what I need to add or change and I know that the playthrough will more than likely dissolve into jokes and make the atmosphere much lighter. 

[technowoah]

DATING HEADCANONs (Young and Dumb and In Love)

Spidey Version

An// this is a new thing for me! I've never written for Marvel characters before, but I love Marvel so imma start writing for them 🥰 but Im still gonna write for the dsmp ofc!

Also idk which spidey to write for so just assume its either of the three ig 😭 hopefully this is okay

Beginning of the relationship

He was quite shy in the beginning. He didn't want to reveal too much about himself to you because some people knew about Spiderman but he didn't want to tell you first meeting of course.

He wants to keep Peter Parker and Spiderman seperate Identities. So he couldn't give you all of him, so he decided to give you Peter Parker. The dorky, smart, (some may even call him a cornball) charismatic boy from Queens

He takes you out on cute dates during the day. Like going to the bookstore, riding the subway to random places and getting things to eat, hanging out in his bedroom, biking in the park, normal dates but they were endearing nonetheless. And he managed to always get you flowers until you told him to stop because it was too much.

He was good at hiding Spiderman until he saved you one day from some attack (he deals with bad guys all the time he cant even remember) and he called out your name.

"Y/n! Are you okay?!"

"How do you know my name?"

"Shit"

After that you told him about the time Spiderman said your name and he played it off. It wasnt smooth but you didnt think anything of it.

Sorry im making this a scenario, but he tries to keep you out of his Spiderman life as much as possible. But he feels guilty not telling you about Spiderman. He hates it but its to keep you safe.

One day he'll tell you and you immediately accept that he is Spiderman. It all clicks for you as well. Why he was late and out of breath to some dates. How he sounded like he was flying when you two were on the phone. And he he had to ditch sometimes. There was an explosion down the block from where you two were having a date and he said "I gotta go" and left you alone.

He's actually surpised that you still accept him and still love him even after all the times he ditched you and kept this big of a secret from you.

After admitting he is Spidey everything goes back to normal really. Nothing out of pocket except dates get more interesting and he becomes more confident around you and with you. He is more comfortable too he knows you wont leave him because of Spiderman, but he wont blame you if you did.

Okay heres some actual dating headcanons below

Hes so kind maybe too kind. He'll bend over backwards for you and his friends. If you need something done, he's already done it, if you need to get food, he already got some pizza and is swinging to your house now.

He loves swinging you around town. If you dont like it then he'll just web up a hammock and you two could relax outside of his apartment. Quality time is his love language. He could be walking hand in hand through time square with you and he'll be in heaven.

He is kinda weary on physical touch. He'll need to get use to it. Then it'll be thigh touches, cheek kisses, kisses, hugs (he loves just wrapping his arms around you and keeping you close) hugs are always a must. Hello and goodbye kisses are needed and everytime he goes out for spiderman he'll give you a kiss no matter what. Okay so Quality time and physical touch.

Just laying in bed talking about your day, in the afternoon, your day barely ended you two just want to have an excuse to spend time together. Sometimes you both stare at eachother just taking in eachothers appearance. People find it weird, you guys do too, but it just happens. You guys start talking about something then you guys are just staring at eachother like lovesick idots.

Peter will tell you anything, he trusts you so much that he spends nights on the phone talking to you, about Spiderman, about his fears, his hopes and dreams. He encourages you to do the same with him, he kept the secret of Spiderman for so long he, can keep your secrets and he dare not tells anyone.

Peter is a romantic guy. He will take you out to a fancy date and go dancing afterwards. Dancing where? In his apartment using the speaker he recently brought. Its small but really thoughtful and that makes your heart flutter.

"Isn't this romantic?"

"Dancing in the middle of your living room?" You leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Of course it is."

You met Aunt May and it was wonderful. Peter would say it was the best moment of his life.

You also met his friends. It wasn't as akward as he thought it was going to be but he is grateful that you accepted his friends and they accepted you.

He is really overjoyed that you are apart of his life now. No matter how long you teo stay together you will leave such a impression on his life.

Btw he's already planning a wedding. You caught him looking at venues one day when you two were lounging around in bed. He wants you to pick out your outfit so you guys can get married as quickly as possible. He also picked out a honeymoon spot as well.

If he could swing you around the world he would.

"I can show you the world!"

"Peter this is Coney Island..."

Walking hand in hand is a must. Pda is accepted in all forms. Arm around the waist, shoulder, hand in hand. You guys are that annoying cute couple everyone wished they would be like, but hates how cute they are.

You guys dont fight often cause there isn't that much to fight about. You're concerned about his safety of course, but when he shows up at your window slightly brusied and in need of cuddles you know he'll always find his way back home to you.

get it back home....okay

But he sincerely cares about your safety. Now you have a target on your back because you're with Spiderman. So he tries to be Peter Parker around you instead of Spidey, but he cant help swinging around following you just so he knows you got home safely or you didnt miss your train.

If a bad guy tries to come near you, you bet your ass that Peter is already on it. He's got a plan for everything and where to lead the guy in relation to where you are. If you're at home, he leads him down the block away from your house. If you're at the park, he's gonna take care of them right then and there, If you're in the subway, he's gonna figure out a plan on the fly.

Sometimes he'll get playfully offended when you sing those breakup songs infront of him. Peter got "offended" when you played I Hate U by SZA.

"Do you actually think that way about me y/n?"

"Pete its just a song of course I dont think that."

"Then why is it in your playlist?"

"Its catchy!"

"We're breaking up."

I wanted to write for all 3 Peters but he mentioned that he worked with the Avengers and you always mention meeting the Avengers. Peter wouldn't want to bring you that deep into his superhero life so he'll just take seperate selfies with the Avengers then send them to you.

You two are both goofballs when you two are together. You two can be dancing like no one is watching, acting like you both are 4 years younger. Love makes you feel youthful. On a home date night it consists of trying to make dinner, singing to the radio, making out on his couch, playing video/board games, making out in the kitchen, dinner being an absolute failure and then ordering takeout.

Peter made sure he knows most of your habbits, like whats your favorite snack, favorite tv show, favorite movie, what gets you excited, what makes you happy, sad, annyoed, there has to be some sort of spidey thing for memory because he remembers everything. This goes along with Peter trying to be the "perfect boyfriend". He told you this one pillowtalk night that he wanted to be the perfect boyfriend for you and you reassured him multiple times that he is perfect the way he is. There is no such thing as a perfect couple. To Peter you are perfect for him though.

Peter loves cuddling you and I feel like I haven't elaborated on that. He thrives off of physical touch. He loves laying his head on your lap and vice versa. Play with his hair and he'll melt. He loves massages and he really needs them this boy is tense. Laying ontop of eachother while exchanging kisses, back rubs and just falling asleep on eachother as well.

Also Peter just does your school work for you sometimes. He usually helps you, but he'll just take your papers or computer and do both yours and his homework just because. You're very capable of doing it yourself...sometimes.. but he's just being helpful and lifting some weight off of your shoulders.

One day you caught him working out to Doja Cat and you never let him live it down. Pete says he just likes the beat of the music, but you both know that isnt true.

You end up healing his wounds 80% of the time you two are together. Its either when he wants you to patch him up or you find out that hes hiding bruises and scratches from you and you end up having to force him to sit down and let you work on him. He feels somewhat guilty that you have to preform first aid on him, but then again he is grateful that you are willing to do so.

You're with Peter alot so you know when he struggles. Being Spiderman has to be alot on your mental health and through thick and thin you are always there for him. He never thought that something as strong as this love you have for him would be present in his life and he is forever grateful to the universe that it gave you to him.

Peter always has a shoulder to rely on when with you. He knows he still has some growing to do and he knows that you'll be there to grow with him. He compares you two as two roses growing in a garden and developing their thorns so that the outside forces that are against them could never touch them and diminish their beauty.

You both grow together and its never one over the other. Another's priorities are neither more or less than the others. You both take eachother very seriously. You both would do anything for eachother mentally, or physically. The love you two have is blinding and you both hope the light doesn't go out so soon.

[sinfulwrites]

A S/O who doesn't like the killing

Hi guys

I dunno how to really explain this. It's a mix of relationships ending because the S/O isn't comfortable with the slashers killing. Some of them are written as scenarios, two are written as a "walked in on them killing" thing, some are darker than others. There's no explicit death of the S/O mentioned, but... You can guess what happens next.

I dunno, I just let my fingers type. Hope you guys like this regardless. Also, I only wrote Michael as one version this time cause all three versions would react the exact same, with slight differences, so there was no point doing three separate Mike's, and also I'm lazy so

(Dark content, mentions of violence and threats of death, Asa makes the reader fall down some stairs, Thomas gets the cops called on him I'm sorry baby)

Sympathetic, but it is what it is.

Jason Voorhees

It wasn't like you didn't know what Jason does. He nearly killed you when you two first met.

He never hid it either, out of habit. Jason has been on his own for practically his whole life, he's not used to cleaning up his bloody tools or clothes until he's ready too. He's not used to another person in his cabin who may not be as desensitized to blood as he is.

He feels bad when you tell him. He doesn't blame you, nothing about it is pretty.

All he can do is rub your back because unfortunately, it's not going to stop.

Killing isn't some hobby for Jason, he doesn't do it for fun, or because he even wants to. He does it for his safety, and now yours. At least, that's what his mother tells him. (He won't tell you everything she says to him though.)

Jason is willing to compromise with you. He'll clean up before he comes back to the cabin, all the blood and gore will be taken care of before you leave the cabin again, he'll make sure you don't see it as well as he can.

But it will still happen. And if it's a deal-breaker, then you'll have to make a decision.

And if you do leave, don't waste your breath on the police. The police are more than aware of Jason.

Vincent Sinclair

He didn't like you coming to the basement, and for the longest time, you didn't give it a second thought. It was loud, dark, and full of dust bunnies down there. You weren't exactly trying to be down there.

But one day, you did come down, and you picked the wrong time to come down.

You found out Ambrose's secret that day.

You and Vincent could only sit across from each other for a couple of hours until you could talk about it. Didn't say a word to each other, didn't even look at each other. You felt lied to and betrayed, and he knew he was guilty of making you feel that way.

"This is wrong, Vincent." And Vincent can only nod. He knew.

If you decide to stay, the boundary on the basement will now be mutual. Vincent keeps that part of his life away from you, just as he always did. Now that Bo knows you know, he's going to be teasing you about it. "I was wondering when you'd notice."

If you decide to leave… Well… You can't leave, Y/N. Vincent loves you, but he can't risk his and his brother's safety, no matter how much it hurts.

It is what it is

Michael Myers

Michael Myers is a serial killer. You know that, everyone knows that. You still had a bump on your head from when he shoved you against the wall the first time you "met" him.

He may have spared you, but that doesn't change what he does.

You don't like it? Well, that sucks.

Michael doesn't force you to see what he does, but he doesn't put any effort into hiding it from you either. He'll walk into your living room dripping in blood and walk over to your sink like nothing is wrong to clean his hands.

It's a waste of time to try and preach morals to him. He's aware that it's wrong. He just doesn't care.

If blood, gore, and murder is an issue for you, he's not the one for you, and if you continue to bug him about it, he'll start to think that too.

You and me both

Thomas Hewitt

Chances are, you already knew what the Hewitt's do, unless you knew them before the economy crashed.

It's very likely you were on their chopping block at some point in time.

Regardless, you know.

You can confide in Thomas, and chances are, he'll confide in you too. He doesn't like what he does, but he has to. You knew that too. It wasn't Thomas's fault.

Thomas will urge you not to say anything around the others, though. If Hoyt decides you're a risk to the house, all hell is going to break loose. Rest assured, Thomas would never let anyone hurt you, nor would he let Hoyt make him hurt you. But now there is going to be conflict in the air.

If you want to go... He'll help you leave. But never, ever come back.

And if you report them to the authorities without them knowing, Thomas will be heartbroken, but he won't try to kill you in retaliation.

He'll be heartbroken, but he won't hate you.

Bubba Sawyer

The Sawyers aren't exactly known to have others over for dinner often, so the only reason you even know Bubba is that you were forced to the Sawyer house.

So it’s likely you’ve always been aware of what Bubba has to do for the house.

Bubba gives you the saddest look when you express how much all this killing makes you uncomfortable. He will sit by your side and rub your back. Rub his back too, because he’s right there with you.

Bubba wants to make things better for you, but you both know he can’t.

If you cannot take it, it will break his heart, but he will help you sneak away. You’d better leave the state because when Drayton finds out, he and the twins will be hunting you down.

Bubba won’t be a part of the search party, he refuses to hurt you. Even if his heart is now broken.

You shouldn’t have found out

Bo Sinclair

Admittedly, Bo had been wanting to tell you. He just didn’t know how. He knew you weren’t like him and his brothers, he knew you weren’t going to be okay with this.

So, he just kept living the lie, though he knew one day it would all come crashing down.

He used Vincent to keep the lie going. Any time someone came to the town, he sent Vincent to distract you while he did the dirty work. It was always suspicious because Vincent is not the type to come up with plans on the spot, he was more on top of things to do that, but you didn’t have reason to question it.

But one day, the day he was dreading, you found out.

You were drawn out of the house by gunfire, and so was Vincent. He was gone, and there was no one to stop you from seeing Bo and Vincent throw a dead man into the back of Bo’s truck.

Bo would have tried to explain himself, but there was nothing to discuss. He knew that by the look in your eyes, you were terrified.

He tried to grab your shoulders with his hands, but the blood on his once comforting fingers triggered your fight or flight. And you bolted.

The Sinclair twins, who you previously trusted with your life, were now hunting you.

“Are you going to kill me too?” You ask Bo, once he and Vincent had caught you.

“... Please don’t make me.” Will be Bo’s response, as he places his hand on his gun while Vincent held you down.

That’s when the decision has to be made.

Asa Emory

Asa liked it when you told him where you were going. He was never demanding about it, he simply asked you to text when you leave the house. So he knew where you were, in case anything happened. For your safety. There was never a reason for you to see any red flags about it.

But you didn't tell him you were going to the mall tonight. You were coming to meet a friend.

You completely forgot what you and your friend did when you got off the elevator into the parking garage.

The sound of something heavy hitting the ground got your attention, and that's when you turned over to see the worst thing you ever could have saw. You watched a masked man throw a bloody corpse into a van, Asa’s company van.

The man was so casual about closing the first door to the van, it made your stomach turn. But then your stomach dropped when he turned around and saw you. The lights reflected off the man's eyes made you almost vomit. There was no doubting it anymore, the man was Asa.

Those eyes, the same ones you used to gaze at in wonder, stalked you like a hawk, he saw every little move you made. As if you were prey. A step back towards the emergency stairs behind you made him slam the second van door shut. You felt paralyzed by his mere gaze, your muscles were too scared to even respond to your fear with any quiver.

One step towards you shot you right back to reality, a reality that he was not as far as you thought he once was. When you turned your heel and made a dash for the stairs, you saw him practically pounce after you. Like a black panther.

You didn’t get far down the stairs. You didn’t get three steps before a blood-soaked, gloved hand grabbed you across the face and yanked you back up by the tender skin on your face. The force made you slip down a step and fall down the flight of stairs. That sealed your fate.

The only thought that could run through your pounding, bleeding skull was one single question.

“What is he going to do to me?”

The growing sound of a van going in reverse made your stomach curl as the question repeated in your mind, but your body had no strength left to run any longer.

[screadingchallenge]

Behind the Keyboard Volume 25

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.  

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

Let’s meet our next author:

@legalgal421 / LegalGal421

How many fics have you written?

24 and counting!

When did you publish your first fic on AO3?

Just over a year ago - June 9, 2021. It was A Year of Home

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3. 

Idea comes to me, I will do my version of an outline, I’ll write over a way too long period of time, send it to my beta, review again b/c I can’t let it go and then finally publish. In between, there is tons of research. 

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

Knowing You Can Always Count On Me

This was an idea that was borne out of a personal experience. I received an invitation from someone I had long written out of my life. I didn’t respond. I hit ‘delete’ on the email. I was happy to give that experience to David, on a much more dramatic scale. I really liked that it could have gone either way - David could have also decided to give his old friend a second chance and I still think it could have worked.  I wish I had given my original characters a bit more, but I wanted to stick to David’s growth. I also wish I would’ve found a way to show just how ingrained David has become in the community.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

First and foremost, get yourself a beta. If you don’t know of anyone, reach out to me. It’s so important to see your work through someone else’s eyes. 

Also, just have fun and write! Writing is so much fun, so cathartic. 

Finally, don’t worry about the kudos and comments.  They will come. 

Do you use a beta? Why or why not? Do you beta for other people?

I absolutely use a beta because it is so important. I have a few. It’s so important to use one because they catch inconsistencies and grammar mistakes you may miss. They help you make you a better writer.

The author has a responsibility here too.  You cannot be closed to criticism of your writing. I’ve had my betas tell me something about a story that is not working. And you know what? They have been right and it has forced me to delve deeper, think more and make the story even better. 

I’ve also learned from my betas and built upon their suggestions in fics I’ve written later. It’s made my writing better. 

How many unfinished WIPs do you have right now?

I just counted. It’s 7. Yikes! A couple may never be finished because I ran out of ideas or the idea was not working. 

In what way are you most like your favorite Schitt’s Creek character?

Not to sound cliched, but I’ve always loved David. Even before Patrick was introduced, I kept rooting for a win for him. I think I identify with David because I also have very specific opinions and can be a bit much at times. 

Would you rather find a title or write a summary?

This is a tough question!  I stink at both.  But, forced to pick, I would say summary.

How much of yourself do you put into your stories or characters?

I tend to put a lot of myself into original characters I create, especially if they are a friend to one of the canon characters. I also sometimes take scenarios and think about how I would have reacted and what I would have done.  This is especially true in my fic about Rachel - And You’re Not In Love With Me. I’ve never been in any situation like Rachel’s, but I think this is how I would have reacted.

[tarotwitchy]

{astro notes; pt. 2}

~Child-Parent Synastry~

Since I'm feeling very active with writing about Astrological Notes, I felt the need to write something about the synastry between a child and their parent/parents/guardians. It's what I've always wanted to see written in detail but was unable to see a version I was looking for. You know what they say; you want something done correctly, you have to do it yourself.

Also, let me make one thing clear: Synastry isn't just for a romantic or love reading. It's generally used for your relationship with a certain person, and want to know more about your dynamics with them.

👣 A child's Sun aspecting their parent's Sun (depending on the type of aspect) would indicate that the child might have inherited or adapted some crucial and/or integral traits, behaviors, attitudes, and quirks that the parent displayed to the child since their childhood years. This could manifest in the manner of speaking, tone of voice, and might even have the exact same voice that people might not distinguish the two of them when communicating through the telephone.

A harmonious aspect of this combination means that no harm is done on the actual personality of the child; they still have their own autonomy over themselves and their expressions.

A strained aspect, however, (such as a square or an opposition) might mean that the child could have had a tough time separating their person and identity from their parent.

📚 Mercury-Saturn aspects, especially Square or Opposition, have been demonstrated with a parent forcing their children to study in a traditional setting. This is a parent who could've berated their children when they didn't get the grades these parents were expecting their children to have. In some extremes, the parent might have sent their children to boarding school just so their life would revolve around education. In a positive light, the parent might have supported (or even tutored) their children up to a certain grade level.

This aspect can go two ways; either the parent was scholarly themselves (is a degree-holder or may have had multiple academic achievements), or these were the parents who didn't have enough educational support during their youth (and has forced their children to the schooling they never received.)

🙃 Jupiter-Saturn aspects between child and parent... oh, Lord. Positive type of aspects when it comes to this combination could symbolize a somewhat "healthy" competition for the child to try to one-up the achievements of the parent. The parent is looked upon as both an idol and a competition; someone that the child wants to embody and surpass at the same time. A negative type of this aspect, such as a Square or Opposition, would manifest in a way that the child feels like they could never measure up to their parents' successes and their expectations. It doesn't help that most of the time, this planetary aspect seems like the parent is always dangling their accomplishments right in front of their children's faces.

🔥 Mars-Mars aspects; I'm not exaggerating when I say my heart started beating wildly at the thought of this particular combination. I personally have this aspect with a parent, and it's a Square. There's honestly no way to redeem this combination regardless of a positive or negative type of aspect. When it's good between both parties, it's great. But when it's bad, hell hath no fury like the two of them at each other's throats. Both the child and the parent have the same type of anger level, it borders on lethal rage. Words will be flying out of each other's mouths quicker than it should have passed through the brain first. No one will back-out of an argument, and this aspect can get physical in its worst manifestation. None of the parties involved will forgive and forget; the rage stays, and the animosity grows. The best case scenario with this combination with a positive aspect is that the child and the parent can put their differences aside to tackle a problem that concerns both of them; like partners-in-crime.

👩‍👧‍👦 On a lighter note, a positive Moon-Uranus aspect can be seen as a mother (or a feminine guardian) who supports (or at least tolerates) her children's uniqueness, individualities, quirkiness, and overall self-expressions. They could be baking a fresh batch of cookies in the kitchen while jamming with the death-metal song that's blasting through your room. Also, these mothers could have been the "weird parent" that introduced their children to unconventional hobbies or even join them in fandoms. I've seen this aspect with a friend of mine; he's an avid cosplayer, and his mother joined him in a Comic-Con one time as Kushina while he cosplayed as a young Naruto! It's very adorable 👌🏽

🛠 A child who has Mercury-Pluto aspect with their parent is reflected with them teaching the children essential life-skills. The parent may have taught their children (regardless of gender) how to change a tire, how to read a compass, how to set-up a tent, what to do when your stove is on fire, how to change the oil in a car, what to do if you got caught in a snowstorm whilst in your car, etc. The parent may have had a subtle Bear Grylls energy around them; they just know how to solve emergency problems with a sense of calm.

An interesting way to look at this is in a game most people in my country love to play during birthday parties. It's called "bring me!" The party host would demand random things from the kids they have to supply as fast as they can in order to win. The Mercury-Pluto child and parent would always win this game because the parent is always ready with anything.

For now, these are the aspects that have been sitting in my noggin. I'll take requests in the next Child-Parent Synastry notes, if given. See you!

{masterlist}

Copyright © 2021 by TarotWitchy

[Don't repost, copy, or reword]

[beileil]

Increasingly Improbable Predictions on Time Travel

Let me preface this by saying that I am not the person to go to for OPM meta discussion. There are plenty of people on Tumblr that are far more talented in that regard. My strengths are fanfic and shitposts, and I’m way out of my wheelhouse here. I considered not posting this at all. But I have a lot of thoughts about Chapter 166, and I need to get this into writing, even if no one reads it and it’s only to keep me from going crazy. Manga spoilers below the cut, obviously. Also some Mob Psycho 100 spoilers that I tried to keep sort of vague? Ready? Let’s get stupid!

I have a prediction brewing and I don't know how I feel about it. I'm not alone in thinking that the latest chapter was much darker than usual, nor in finding the chapter 164 redraw jarring. I'm sure I'm not the first person to have this thought either: What if there are multiple timelines and we're being shown the darkest one? We've seen ONE do something similar with the Mogami arc in MP100, so we know he's good at making both his fans and his characters go through Some Shit, even if the events are an illusion or aren't permanent. (Also see: Mob going ??? in “Even Then ~Continue Forward~”, an otherwise lighthearted episode that ends with a cliffhanger so brutal that the first time I watched it, I gasped out loud, explained to my concerned spouse that my reaction was because I couldn’t believe the writer would actually go there, and had to stop watching for the night. Obviously, everything turned out to be a trick, but this moment stuck with me.)

ONE is a great story teller. He doesn’t need to kill anyone to make his audience feel pain, nor to leave his main characters with lasting trauma.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to my stupid time travel theory, which I’m sure is also not very original.

Now surely (and this is the point you may roll your eyes, but stay with me, I promise I'm going somewhere with it) Blast or one of his crew has the ability to send someone back in time. Like seriously, the guy fights with portals and tried to send Garou to another dimension. Let’s say Blast & Co. can send exactly one person back in time. But maybe time travel takes an extreme toll on the person’s body to the point that normal people can’t survive the jump. Hm...do we know anyone who can withstand any amount of physical stress without getting hurt? Oh, I know! How about we send the guy who uses a magma pool as a hot tub!

Scenario #1 (the “immediate fix”): The Blast Crew can only send Saitama back in time by a few minutes. But it’s enough. Enough to stop Celestial Garou’s radioactive attack. Enough to save his disciple. This time, he doesn’t arrive too late. He arrives just in time, like a true hero should.

Scenario #2 (the least bullshit one): Saitama gets sent back just far enough to stop Garou from getting possessed by God (no ID), and instead of continuing their Fistfight to End the World, Saitama (who is the only one who remembers the Worst Timeline and is just so tired) asks Garou if he's done yet, offers to lend an ear…and the chapter ends with a panel of dragon!Garou sheepishly sitting seiza at a low table with Saitama in an abandoned house floating in the sea. It’s odd to me that the Murata would spend so much time on the original, very different version of Chapter 164, only for it to be scrapped three days later. Maybe this scene does happen…just in a different order than expected. In this scenario, nothing is wasted.

Scenario #3 (improbable, confusing, and meta af, but indulge me please): Saitama gets sent back to some point earlier that day. LET’S GET META for a hot second. I remember reading a discussion by @gofancyninjaworld a long time ago (sorry dude, I tried to find it on your blog but no luck) about how the manga is ultimately written for the people who read it in its final, published volume form. But here's an awful, fun thought: What if the redraws are ONE/Murata throwing an extremely meta bonus to the readers who read each update as it comes out? If there's time travel fuckery involved, it explains at least one of the redraws…or all of them if Saitama were to get sent back further than meeting Awakened Garou on the shoreline. I'm imagining something like the scrapped chapters actually being an alternate timeline where Phoenix Man doesn't become chickified, Do-S and Narinki's mercenaries are killed by Sweet Mask, Orochi is killed by a punch instead of a bathtime mishap, etc. Time travel could also create some fun deja vu moments, like Atomic Samurai telling Iaian "I swear I've told you about this before" about the Sun Blade. Maybe he really did!

Scenario #4 (for lulz only, everyone would rage quit the series if it happened): Saitama travels back in time to the meeting that Sitch calls with the S-class to warn them about Shibabawa’s prophecy. Saitama informs him that the prophecy is about Bang’s student going off the rails. The entire Monster Association arc is canceled. Saitama beats up everyone in the subterranean and takes their gold. Garou gets therapy and a job at Fedex.

Pros of time travel being used as a plot device:

Saitama saving the world and no one knowing about it would be very on point for the series.

Saitama retaining his memories ties in with my earlier point: ONE doesn’t need to kill anyone off permanently to leave his main character with lasting trauma. Even if Genos survives this, I guarantee Saitama will be having nightmares about holding his core in his hand for years to come.

Many fans found Saitama’s comment that he’d “rather destroy the world” out of character for him. The comment makes a lot more sense if he’s already seen the people he cares for…you know.

It makes no damn sense to set up future sub-plots (Garou becoming a hero, a fetch quest for a magic sword, etc.) if everyone is just going to die of radiation poisoning anyway. It’s wasted potential, and as much as I’m hurting, I have faith in ONE/Murata to not do that.

Cons of time travel being used as a plot device:

Let's face it. Time travel as a fix-it is kind of a cop out. The only time I've seen it done well is in Steins;gate. (Which is a brilliant show if you haven't seen it.)

The further back in time we go, the less character development everyone gets. The S-class never learns to work together. Fubuki never discovers her healing powers, or stands up to her sister. Waganma never stops being a brat. Sweet Mask never gets to beat a pep talk into Darkshine, and Zombieman never gets to admit that Sweet Mask isn’t as bad as he seems. The Bad Boys don’t get their team-up. Garou doesn’t get to (try to) tell God to fuck off.

We’ve already seen characters we thought were goners come back through the power of magic (looking at you, Tanktop Master), and if it happens too much, it's going to be difficult to truly experience suspense properly again. The stakes just won’t be there. Every time a character dies, it’ll be a case of the boy who cried wolf. (Or rather the boy who cried, "Can't we just have Fubuki/Blast fix it?")

So I’m conflicted. Would a time travel fix-it make you rage quit the series? Would it cheapen the trauma that everyone has been through, or could it be done well? Or can you not see this happening at all? I guess we’ll find out in two weeks.