#having lucy's narration helped too i think

[generic-internet-name]

having watched the third episode of lockwood and co, i’m not quite as thrilled about it. i don’t really like how they fit the whole plot of the screaming staircase into just three episodes. Honestly, i don’t really like in general super long episodes. but here especially, they cut a lot of the more mundane things, of lucy, lockwood, & george building their friendship and showing more of their characters. They also cut a few of the less important cases, like lucy’s first with lockwood, with the motorcyclist. and while those kinds of moments weren’t super important to the plot, it helped to get a feel for both the world(not every case is dramatic and dangerous, this is a normal job) and the characters(lockwood’s growing respect for lucy, her Talent).

And i think this could come back to bite the writers when they introduce Holly, because lockwood being so casual with her so quickly was in contrast to him being formal with lucy for longer. if we don’t see those weeks with that awkwardness and formality, there won’t be that contrast.

[mournings-stars]

nothing changes

final and part 3 of the prelude to my orpheus and eurydice angst fic "doubt comes in" parts two and three (if you would like to read chronologically these come first) part five/finale (a semi-alt ending)

includes: heaven lucifer ofc, a little lore, some blending of greek mythology, still a little, if not more ambiguous than before, luci is still a hopeless romantic but a little unreliable in the narration aspect, the fluff is basically over I gave yall a warning on the last part but here's my formal apology... especially since lucifer calls you humility

tags: @lxkeee @viannasthings @majonla @sapphirecaelis

Suddenly, Lucifer was holding the world in his arms. 

A Virtue, asleep in his bed, held to his chest. The very same Virtue he’d admired for so long, sleeping soundly in his embrace as if it were the greatest comfort. 

The night of the Celebration, you left after a single dance, going to his home for dinner, where he had the bouquet you gave him on display in his dining room. It was a fight to leave, Lucifer suggesting you stay as he reluctantly walked you toward the door, eventually relenting and letting you kiss him goodbye when you said you’d see him the next day. 

And the next, and the next, and so on and so forth, nearly every day being spent together now that you both knew how you felt. You never ran out of things to talk about, and getting to see him was the highlight of your day. Especially when he came to Earth to help you work. 

The more time he spent with you, the more he wanted to move with haste and plan an immortal future together; marriage, children, living together, but he had to stop himself, remind himself that you had all the time in the world to move as slowly as you wanted, and a single kiss wasn’t grounds to take off from. For all he knew, you kissed him because you were drunk and only cared for him as a friend. 

Which was enough. He’d take whatever care you were willing to give — and this, a night together, was more than enough. 

But his loud thoughts woke you up, feeling that he was awake and mumbling, “sleep, Luci.” 

He smiled at the way you sleepily said his name, forgetting half of it. He leaned down and kissed the top of your head, your wings stretching before wrapping around him and gently draping over him as you pressed a gentle kiss to his chest, right above his heart. 

How soon was too soon in deciding you’d fallen in love?

He’d asked Sera, who’d lifted his ban from the seasons changing the moment he came to the meeting room to announce that he would tell you depending on her answer… one day. “I’ll wait a hundred years.” To beings like you, that was nothing but a blink of an eye, making her laugh. 

“You may want to tread carefully,” Sera warned. “You know how Virtues are; sometimes, they abandon you.” Everyone knew the stories of Chastity, Kindness, Charity, or Patience, leaving someone broken-hearted. “They can’t love one thing more than another — and they’ll never love a soul more than they love the Earth. It’s what they were made for.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” he said, shaking his head. “We have free will. Virtues, even if they're born for a purpose, have it, too.”

“Yes, but that free will will never come before their duty,” she said simply. “I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t love Humility — Do it. Love and be loved.” He nodded, warm mood returning to him with Sera’s heartfelt blessing. “But don’t put all of yourself into that love, Lu. You could end up with nothing, while Humility takes it and moves on.” At his silence, she continued, “Have you ever seen the way nature itself fights for a Virtue’s attention?” He thought back, the way animals came to you despite a predator or prey being near. Plants blossomed brighter as you walked by. Winds sang, and the sun beamed while rivers rushed and dived to a fall, a pool of water at your feet. “You have it now, but Humility loves it all equally. You will be loved just the same. Not more or less, but equal; equal to that flower you wear, to a hare she finds needing her help, to the grass and dirt that hare walks across… You can’t expect more.”

“I don’t,” he said quickly, easily. 

“And you can never hurt Humility — I’m warning you to respect a Virtue’s duty, to not expect what one can’t give you—“ Lucifer could argue with that, but he held his tongue. “—and I’m also giving my blessing.”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

Perhaps, he never should’ve headed her warning. 

He swore to himself that he wouldn’t, but a warning like that could only do one thing; doubt comes in, planting a small seed in his mind that he couldn’t shake, thinking of Sera’s warning every time he was with you and wondering how you truly felt about him. It was to the point that even you noticed. 

You’d asked him to come down to Earth with you, taking him to a large pond at the base of a waterfall where a pair of ducks circled. He had been happy to see them, realizing you’d taken notice of a golden duck he had on display despite him never showing you. 

“Is everything alright, Luci?” You’d made it a habit of calling him that, first doing it as a joke after he teased you about it, but the joke seemed to stick. 

He smiled, huffing a laugh. “You're perceptive.” You shrugged. “Can I ask you something?” You nodded, waiting for him to continue, but there was a beat of silence. You placed a gentle hand on his, but he took it away. Then he quickly took your hand again, making you chuckle. 

“You don’t have to hold my hand if you don’t want to.”

“I know.” He gave a reassuring smile, then sighed. “Is it true? Virtues love every living thing equally?”

“Ah,” you laughed, “you spoke to Sera.” He nodded. “The other Virtues didn’t leave the angels they loved because we love everything equally — it’s because they expected something they couldn’t give.” You pursed your lips, unsure of whether this would soothe him or push him away. “Yes, it’s in our nature to love all living things equally, but we don’t love them the same. I could never love a soul the same way I love a river,” you said like it was ridiculous to think so. “Or an animal the way I love another angel. It may, theoretically, be equal, but is an angel equal to the wind?” He shook his head, threading his fingers through yours. “So, I may be sinful in saying this,” you joked, “but that would mean I love you more.”

He took it as an explanation rather than a confession of your feelings, a relieved smile coming to his face before he brought the back of your hand to his lips to kiss gently. 

When it came time to transition spring into summer, you let Lucifer help, singing the melody together and flying over Earth as you watched it change. Flowers blossomed and gave you ripe fruits to taste, greenery grew bigger and fuller, and animals basked in the sun as you sang. 

All of Heaven could hear your harmony, reveling in how beautiful it was, and how as you sang it, they could feel your warmth — your love. 

A love so bright and warm it could burn for eons. A song, so beautiful, that when you sang it the world came into tune. 

The song of love.

That was what they began calling it. Hundreds of summers, hundreds of winters. Autumns and springs. For hundreds of years, the two of you sang the song in harmony and Sera’s warning began to mean less and less to Lucifer. 

But doubt comes in. 

Hundreds of years, and your relationship stayed the same. Hundreds of years, and you never told him you loved him. Hundreds of years, and at the back of his mind he knew why. 

Hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of years, and humans were brought to the Earth. 

The Earth began to change. Your song was hardly needed, and you frequented less and less. Your animals were hunted and your plants were cut down. You could feel every death, every life leaving the Earth. Your power weakened, and your will to do anything about it weakened with it. 

“It’s how the world must be,” Sera told you when your grief caused rain on Earth at times where it should’ve been calm. “It’s a part of life, Humility.”

“I understand that, just…” You couldn’t articulate your feelings, giving her the perfect opportunity to tell you,

“As a Virtue, you should love and feel for these humans as much as you do for the life you create and care for.”

“You’re right…” All the other Virtues understand, so why couldn’t you? 

Lucifer said it was because Earth was more than just your job. You cared for the mortal world like no other angel did, and that was what he loved about you. It’s why you were so good at what you did. 

And as he told you this, he took you to a garden in Heaven. Plants you’d created and cared for lived endlessly, and most importantly, the animals you felt leave the mortal world were immortalized there. They recognized you, coming to you like they had on Earth and making you happier than he’d seen you since things began changing. 

Lucifer watched the sullen mood you’d been in wash away, and slowly, you began to spend all of your time in this garden.

And doubt comes in. 

To him, you didn’t seem to care whether or not he was with you in the garden, so he left you alone. Day and night, you spent it alone in the garden and he spent it alone in your shared home, falling asleep and waking up without you. 

He busied himself with unnatural creations, spending time in his office, working the days away like he used to. You’d come throughout the day, hoping to see him. You’d make lunch and call out to him, but he never seemed to notice. You spent the days alone, opting to go to the garden he showed you and wishing he were there with you. 

He started to think, to doubt; It wasn’t that the other Virtues couldn’t give the angels they loved enough, it was that they had all the time in the world to do so, to have them wait while they provided and cared for the Earth. They may have loved them more, but that love could be stretched endlessly.  

Before, time was endless on Earth. It was why the seasons needed you, why you never feared the loss of your creations, and why you could say you would love him more. Now, there was a cycle, an order of things, and a hierarchy. All living things you cared for would one day manifest with you in Heaven, where time was once again endless — His immortal life was endless, and he’d always be there for you. You could stretch your love for him as long as he’d let you, while you tended to the garden he showed you. 

So no, he wasn’t equal to the wind, but now he was equal to, if not less to you than, a manifested soul. 

You could never love him more. How could he expect you to?

And Lucifer went down to Earth, in hopes to feel what you felt, to understand how you could feel plants and animals dying. To see how much it changed. 

But he came across someone — a woman. Sera told him she was named Lilith after the beautiful flowers you made bloom, in hopes to lift your resentment of what she and the other elders created. 

He left before she could see him, taking a lily with him. 

He made his way to the garden, finding you there and tending to the plants. 

He cleared his throat to get your attention, making you turn. The smile you gave him made his heart race and wings flutter, you looked so undeniably happy that he was there. He should’ve just come to you like he usually did, he thought regretfully. He had no reason to doubt you when you looked at him that way.

“I brought you something.” He held the flower out to you, watching you take it with so much care. “I went down to Earth today… It hasn’t changed as much as you thought.”

“Really?” You asked hopefully. 

“New life comes every spring,” he told you. “It feels more alive than ever… Though it could use your touch.” He watched your smile grow as you looked down at the flower, twirling it in your fingers. 

“Maybe we can go down together next time.”

“I’d like that.”

How could he have convinced himself to doubt you so heavily? Why would he, so easily, trust the doubt in his mind more than you?

“I was hoping you’d come here,” you told him after a moment. “I — well — I was hoping I’d get to thank you for showing it to me. I know you’ve been busy with work, but I wanted to tell you: this place helped me feel connected to nature again.” There was a moment of pause before you joked, “I can’t say I’m not glad you didn’t see how weak I was, though…” He’d never heard you speak so quiet and unconfidently, masking it with a flat joke as you refused to look him in the eye, but he heard every word, feeling even worse for what his mind began to tell him. “I understand why you left after you showed me this place… If you want to be alone after the way I reacted—“

He cut you off, quickly bringing you into his embrace. His wings wrapped around you and his head tucked into your shoulder. “I’ve missed you so much.” You sighed, hugging him back and dropping the flower to the ground. “I thought you wanted to be alone.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I’d rather be alone with you.” 

You spent the night together in your home, preparing dinner and enjoying the night like you used to, and the next morning he went with you to the garden. Only to find that an animal had eaten part of the lily you dropped on the garden floor. It looked weak, too sick to even move. 

“They’re poisonous?” You asked him, in shock that you didn’t know the changes that happened to your own flowers. You went to the animal to try to use your abilities to heal it, hoping those hadn’t changed, too. 

“I didn’t know…” He tried to say, but you didn’t respond. “I can help—“ he reached for the animal and you turned away, wings flaring to put distance between you. He took a shocked step back, scrambling to explain himself, “I didn’t mean to bring… poison into your garden, Humility—”

“I know,” you said weakly, doubting. 

“It’ll be okay,” he told you. It was already dead, he couldn’t remind you.

Again, “I know.” You knew, and that was why it was so upsetting. Not even in death could a soul escape suffering. How was that fair?

“Let me help. Please.” But he was met with silence, not even a response of you shaking your head. 

Instead, a gentle breeze began to blow, a song flowing through the garden. The same song you’d sung for hundreds of years. As it continued, the winds got stronger, flowers bloomed brighter, plants got taller, and the little animal in front of you perked up and scurried away. 

There it was again. 

He wondered if Sera was right, if he truly did distract you. If you’d done nothing but tend to the garden and your power had recovered more than he ever could’ve helped you to do, there was no doubt. 

“Why are they changing everything I create?” But he didn’t hear your frustrated question. “Can everything I care for now be hurt?” He didn’t hear your voice break as you begged for an answer, hoping that he, as a Seraph, would know and tell you if he did. 

But he didn’t hear anything over his own doubtful thoughts. All he saw was you get up and walk away from him, wings wrapped around yourself to bring yourself comfort as if he’d purposely brought poison into your garden. 

He took what was left of the flower and left the garden, once again going to earth. He’d find you something else, he decided. He’d make sure you knew he didn’t bring you a poisonous flower on purpose. He’d make sure you didn’t resent him, like you resented the humans and the way the Earth changed. 

He’d make sure he knew every change that was made and make sure it couldn’t upset you. He’d make sure you never pushed him away like that again—

“What a beautiful flower.” He paused, looking ahead of him to see that same woman once again. “It’s poisonous, you know?” Lucifer looked down at it. He knew now. “It can be hard to tell, but I can show you the ones that aren’t — though, I thought angels would know.”

“A lot has changed,” he muttered, surprised she was speaking to him. 

And perhaps that was where it started, where he began to learn about this new Earth through her, under the guise of relaying the information to you.

But he never did. 

Instead, he kept coming back. He didn’t retrieve anything for you, but he spoke to her every time. He listened to her cry and comforted her if he could. 

He found a friend in this woman; in Lilith… And then he found something more. 

He showed her his creations, something he’d never shown you, and he beamed at the way she appreciated them, eyes full of wonder. He spent the night with her in The Garden and showed her the warmth of the moss covered cave, where they sat and talked just as you’d done. Only she lied next to him where you sat so far away. 

And then she told him she loved him. 

Something you never said. 

But you didn’t have to. You showed it;

in the way you stayed up and waited, waited to apologize for pushing him away, for walking away and getting so upset. In the way you fell asleep in an armchair in the living room and woke up when he came home in the morning, not even noticing you and going up to his study. In the way you greeted him warmly when he came down, though he didn’t give you time to apologize. In the way you held him like he was what you treasured most, like he was something you didn’t want to lose. In the way you asked to see what he was working on. In the way you let him leave. 

In the way you let him tell you he was in love with someone else. 

“I didn’t realize it until now — all I wanted was to get more knowledge of the Earth, to bring to you; to show you I cared,” he gave explanation after explanation as you stood in the garden he showed you, and you thought you should’ve questioned why you were spending the evening together. 

But he suddenly stopped, shutting his mouth and pausing to look over you. 

He’d never seen you cry. Not once. He’d seen you upset, he’d seen you overjoyed, he’d seen you devastated just months ago, but he’d never seen you cry — and to think, the first time he did, it was because he was making you cry. Because he hurt you. 

He tried to reach out, and this time you didn’t push him away. It was worse. Your arms hugged your shoulders and your wings wrapped around yourself as you stared at the ground, taking a cowering step away from him. He wished you’d turn your back on him, spare him from seeing what he’d done, but you didn’t. 

There was a long silence as you urged yourself to calm down, breathing slowly. 

Finally, you said, “I don’t fault you for falling in love.” His throat tightened as you finally turned away from him. He was wrong. That wasn’t what he wanted at all. Not like this. “I want you to be happy. If this is what makes you happy then… Then, I’m happy for you.” 

“But I did give you a chance to leave,” you wanted to remind him, but he spoke before you could, “Don’t lie to me,” he said, begging and sounding completely defeated. You’d never lied to him before, but he knew you were now. “I know you—”

Instead you reminded him, “Then you know that I love you. I always have… I should’ve said it more than I did, I know, but I never thought you’d doubt me.”

And he could hear it over and over; your reassurance, and your confession. You told him long before he ever told you. 

“But,” you mocked his silence, resentment he knew you would eventually feel for him seeping into your voice as you said, “you know how Virtues are.”

Sometimes, they abandon you.

[bumblebeehug]

Some of their own

Summary: Babysitting and a bit of reflection of a past encounter is just the kick Natsu needs to get started on thinking about his future. Notes: At the end. Nalu Week 2023 day 7. Prompt: New Adventures. Ao3

***

For being a mom of three kids, Levy was weirdly calm. Lucy realised that as she spent time with her friend: she was rusty at the beginning, sure, she had two newborns to take care of and she was completely new to everything, but she had a very involved, very loving father to the children, and also what many people didn’t always consider to incorporate – a community that helped her whenever she asked. This community included, but was not limited to, the guild.

Currently, she and Lucy sat and enjoyed their lunch together, as Gajeel and Natsu sat one table away. Gajeel was caring for his and Levy’s latest addition to the family, Akane, while Natsu kept Kanetatsu and Kanae entertained. Though they would never admit it, and would absolutely hate to hear it – Natsu and Gajeel worked well as a team. Gajeel had all the actual parenting down, he did well with the fostering and the diapers and feeding, while Natsu had a natural talent when it came to entertaining. His skills shouldn’t be underestimated: to actually engage with the kids and play in a way that keeps the games enjoyable was surprisingly hard. Natsu, however, was a natural. He knew exactly what ideas were perfect for their preferences, Kanetatsu preferring more wilderness games (he was going through an obsession with ancient reptiles) and Kanae loved Natsu’s story-driven games. She preferred to play pretend, that she was on a mission like the ones her mom and dad went on. And of course, Natsu would be the star of the show by narrating it.

Lucy liked watching him with children. Natsu was otherwise the type of guy you’d want to keep away – having a pyromaniac with no sense of safety around a couple of toddlers wasn’t ideal, but his entire demeanour shifted around kids. She had known this for quite some time. Back when they first met she only got to see a sliver of Natsu’s persona around kids, and that was through Romeo. Still, sliver or not, she definitely saw it. A brotherly connection based on safety and trust, not wavering a second as Natsu went to save his dad from the Vulcans. And after the seven years on Tenrou Island, she got to see it again – Natsu creating an environment where Asuka could both play and learn. It wasn’t the ideal day for them to babysit, considering the fact that bandits attacked them, but not only did Natsu put Asuka’s safety first, but he also engaged her to act and help in the ways she could. Though in Lucy’s opinion the danger in that situation was way too close for comfort.

“... And I was thinking we could go check it out tomorrow after lunch?” Lucy’s attention was brought back to Levy, the scene of Natsu and Gajeel and the kids fading back into the background.

“Sorry, check out what?”

Levy smiled knowingly.

“Something other than Natsu for once.” She winked at her. “The new bookstore that opened on the square. I checked their inventory, and they’re gonna sell your book there, so I thought you’d like to say hi to the owners.”

“Oh yeah absolutely! Meet me at 1 by the fountain?” Lucy finished her drink with a sweeping motion. Levy nodded approvingly and then tilted her head.

“Hey, Lucy… Wouldn’t it be nice if you had one?”

Lucy blinked in confusion.

“A bookstore?”

“No,” Levy laughed, “a kid. It’s a lot less diapers than you think – take it from me, I had two at once.”

Lucy felt her cheeks warm up.

“Well I think I’d need someone to have it with, before I start thinking about diapers.” She let out an airy laugh. But she knew that Levy meant with Natsu. And judging by the shifting eyes Lucy could see in her periphery, Natsu was paying attention to their conversation.

“Don’t you think it’s time to start thinking about it though? We always said our kids would be as close as we are, but I’m not sure how many more I can produce before we run out of money here.” Levy giggled, but Lucy knew she was serious. It wasn’t easy being the single friend in a friend group – even harder being a single friend in a mom group.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to adopt if I’m not knocked up within a year,” Lucy joked, now being more or less desperate to steer the conversation away from the topic of babies. She did, however, pay attention to Natsu’s face. Though she only saw it in profile, she knew he had been listening. There was something in his eyes, perhaps the way they didn’t really seem focused on the task ahead of him, that revealed the many thoughts running through his head.

Their current relationship was messy. Too intimate to be friends, too friendly to be lovers. But Lucy knew she wasn’t the only one thinking about them. The last couple of years, Natsu had been more present, more grounded in their conversations. Like he was soaking up everything Lucy said or did, and savoured that information like treasure. Lucy had noticed it, but she knew that not many else had. Levy included. Because in public and at the guild, they were completely normal. Talked about missions, kept their routines, went on team missions with Erza, Wendy and Gray whenever they got the chance (which wasn’t as often nowadays – Gray’s fault, since he rarely went anywhere without Juvia). But behind closed doors they allowed themselves some secret moments. Movie nights cuddling, hugs from behind while the other’s cooking, Natsu fiddling with Lucy’s left hand’s fingers while she was reading (the right hand had to be free so she could turn pages). There were lots of moments like those, but none that could be pinned down and refused in a “I only do that with guys I’m in a relationship with!”-manner.

Her thoughts were soon interrupted by the cries from Levy’s youngest. As they stirred around, Levy rushing to Gajeel and Akane, Natsu picking up both toddlers on each hip to get them away from knocking over bottles and wet wipes and other miscellaneous items, Lucy found herself drawn to Natsu. She could blame it on wanting to unload him from one of the kids, but they both knew he could manage carrying them both. Lucy should have brought her and Levy’s empty dishes to Mira, to minimise the risk of anything falling down on the floor, but instead she grabbed a handful of toys from the bag Gajeel had packed, and started giving them to Kanetatsu and Kanae, letting them choose from the soft, colourful figurines.

“You want that one?” Lucy asked Kanae, not expecting an answer from her. Kanetatsu had already picked his toy – a boar-like stuffed animal. “How about we go to the library and play? I’ll bring the toys and uncle Natsu will take you downstairs, okay?”

Natsu grinned broadly and started moving towards the stairs, roughhousing them a little to keep their interest. Levy sent Lucy a thankful smile before she went back to focus on the poopy diaper. Lucy took it as approval of the impromptu babysitting and grabbed the bag and a couple of water bottles before hurrying after Natsu and the kids – even if Levy said kids weren’t as stressful as they seemed, Lucy had yet to take her word for it.

In the library, Natsu managed to get both kids to stay on the carpet. Lucy swore she had heard something about the floor being lava, but the kids seemed too calm for that to be true. She quickly sorted out the toys from the actual useful items in the nursery bag and poured them out on the carpet.

“Aunty, play kingdom!” Kanae blubbered and started clearing out a space for the characters to live. Natsu and Kanetatsu swiftly gathered round, eyeing the toys they wanted to use.

“Alright, I’ll be the princess-knight then.” She grabbed the figure of a princess with a big poofy dress. They didn’t actually have a toy that looked like a knight, so this one sufficed once she held a small, toy sword against the plush princess-hand. “Do we want to start from the beginning or pick up where we left it last time?”

When the twins were just 2 years old, Lucy had created a make believe game with medieval themes – knights, princesses, dragons, kings and queens, evil trolls under bridges etc. Ever since, Kanae swore that it was the best game ever, though Lucy knew she preferred watching Natsu’s hot pepper eating contests. Natsu wasn’t actually bothered by the chilies, but he was good at acting out different stages of spice levels. When eating the hottest one he liked setting his tongue on fire, to demonstrate how terrible it was to eat it.

That, however, was beside the point. Even if it wasn’t the absolute best game, the kids still loved it. Natsu did as well, but for other reasons. He was captivated by Lucy’s story telling. All characters in the game were so different – some reminded him of guild mates, some of her spirits, others were more like people they had met briefly on missions. It was like she knew everything about everyone she met, inside out. Their dreams, their past, their reasonings behind certain behaviours. Her ability to read people was beyond great, and that reflected in her books and games. All stories she told, big and small, were taken seriously by her.

“From the beginning!” The little girl almost shouted out her answer, but her brother was quick to protest.

“No, from the part when the dragon eats the troll!”

Lucy held in a sigh. The twins played well together when they were on the same page, but as soon as their opinions didn’t align, their heads would butt together in disagreement. Their fights would often get both loud and violent – it wasn’t hard to figure out which parent had given them that temperament.

Before the twins began their screaming contest, and before Lucy had the opportunity to defuse the situation, Natsu had grabbed the princess-doll in his left hand and the troll in his right and started shouting.

“RAAAH, your fight is pointless, the troll has already taken the princess-knight hostage! Aunt Lucy, what’s gonna happen?” He flailed his arms around to somehow demonstrate the motion of the troll stealing the queen. Lucy sent a quick glance towards Kanae to make sure she wasn’t upset over Natsu picking Kanetatsu’s storyline – with no tears in sight she put on her best storytelling voice and got to work.

“Oh no!” Lucy exclaimed in a light voice. “The troll has taken me and the amazing ninja-wizards are nowhere to be seen!” She was relieved to see the twins scramble together their characters so they could join in – they had accepted the game.

“The two ninja-wizards hurried across the continent as they heard the queen’s cries,” Lucy read in a deeper voice. “They ran through forests, rode over deserts on camels, climbed mountains and jumped over rivers that were over 20 feet wide! And with their amazing speed, they arrived in only fifteen minutes!”

***

Levy waited a moment before making a noise. She had finally gotten Akane back to sleep after cradling her for the last hour. Gajeel was currently on watch, keeping the pram moving, which gave Levy an opportunity to check in on the twins and her two friends watching them.

As she observed her best friend and her pink haired situationship, her heart ached a little. She wanted Lucy to be the happiest version of herself – she wanted all good fortune to reach her, for all her dreams and desires to come true. And she wanted her to experience that one true love. For years, Levy and Lucy had read romance novels that described all kinds of relationships. Enemies to lovers, soulmates, friends to lovers, and all beyond and between. If Levy allowed herself to brag, she would say she won the jackpot. She had found her true love, she had experienced the full story. But in a way, that wasn’t enough for her. Levy took all her relationships seriously, both her familial, romantic and her platonic ones. If a friend of hers was hurting, then so would she. Now, that didn’t mean she thought Lucy was hurting from her relationship with Natsu – the opposite, actually. She was certain that Natsu made Lucy the happiest version of herself, which was only strengthening her resolve to get the pair together soon.

If you asked anyone else about Natsu’s and Lucy’s relationship, they would claim that they were staying out of their business. Levy, however, knew that those people were kidding themselves. Everyone waited for the day they would get together, when Lucy and Natsu finally would release the guild from the tension that had been built up from the constant expectations that lay heavy in the air. It hadn’t passed anyone’s attention that they loved each other. It hadn’t passed anyone on the entire continent – the two of them were meant to be.

Still, somehow their mutual feelings went past each other’s heads. The line between what was friendly and what meant something more had been so blurred that Levy wasn’t even sure if they could tell the distinction. For all she knew, they could have gone all the way, still thinking the other one didn’t love them back. Of course, if they had done that Lucy would have told her. Everything Natsu did eventually went past Levy – unless Lucy promised to keep a secret, she would tell her everything.

***

“Hey there babysitters.” Levy’s voice startled Lucy, who had been caught up trying to storytell herself out of a corner that Natsu had pushed her into. (Being surrounded by wild boars and having no armour, plus the two wizard-ninja-characters being locked up in a cell. Plus, Natsu’s dragon character had surrounded the princess-knight with a wildfire. Surely she could manage to get out of this situation without pulling the saved-by-the-dragon-card…)

“Hey Levy,” Natsu answered, himself not as startled since he had both smelled and heard her standing by the door watching them. “Ya’ got the baby to calm down?”

“Yeah, thanks for your help. Kanetatsu, Kanae, say thank you to aunty for playing with you, it’s time to go home.” Levy crouched down with a smile, catching the kids who charged right at her as soon as she finished her sentence.

“Thanks,” they mumbled in chorus. Levy sent a smile towards Lucy who handed her the bag that contained the toys they had played with.

“Don’t forget, bookstore tomorrow after lunch.”

“I won’t, I’m looking forward to it. Be safe on your way home!” Lucy waved goodbye to her blue haired friend. When she was out of sight, Lucy turned to Natsu, who had been standing right behind her during the parting.

“So, what’s for dinner?” A big grin was plastered on his face as he looked down on her. Their height difference wasn’t very big, but when they stood this close she almost felt like he was towering over her.

“We just had lunch and you’re already thinking about dinner?” Lucy asked, baffled, as she still felt stuffed from her meal.

“Ya’ gotta look forward to life’s pleasures,” Natsu argued. Lucy just scoffed.

“Well I suppose you can pick out dinner tonight, we have to buy groceries anyways. Someone’s been eating all the leftovers I’ve been saving.”

“I don’t get that leftover stuff. How can there be food left from one night of cooking?” Natsu put his arms behind his head. They had started heading home and were just leaving the building, Lucy taking the lead.

“Normally people don’t eat four portions in one go, that’s how.” She looked back at him, slowing her pace so she could walk beside him. “Though I guess I should thank you. I don’t exactly love reheated stuff.”

“Hah,” Natsu laughed curtly, “I know ya’ don’t! That’s why I ate it for ya’!”

“Oh, as if! Don’t act like you did me a favour!” She playfully hit his arm.

The sky was just shifting from blue to orange, making the sun give off a golden shine. Natsu looked good in gold. He looked good in all colours, but Lucy found him especially beautiful, lit up by the sun as if he was one of its rays. His skin had a healthy glow, his brown complexion mingling perfectly with the sunshine. Adding his gorgeous, sculpted profile to the mixture was almost too much for Lucy. Her knees wobbled a little, and she made herself look away before she truly melted.

***

After stopping by the store, the two of them were on their way to Lucy’s apartment. She almost made a mental note of how much money she put out for the food, but reminded herself that Natsu had been the one to pay this time. It was only fair, according to him, but Lucy felt bad either way. Even if he owed her this much, she still wanted to pay for the things in her own fridge. This once, though, she swallowed her pride and let him pay. It was nice to be cared for as well – he was even currently carrying the bags for her.

Natsu loved how independent Lucy was, he really did. However, sometimes he wanted her to be a bit more selfish. Ask for more. She was always the first to offer her seat on a full train, the first to give up her comfort for someone else’s. Even today, Natsu had to argue for five minutes before being allowed to carry both of the bags. He ended up spurting out claims to “need it for passive training” even though he knew it sounded stupid – Lucy couldn’t give up without a fight. Though he reminded himself that that too was a trait he was fond of. Her spirit was unwavering, and that could be quite helpful on missions.

That woman was truly remarkable, he caught himself thinking. He would have blushed, but thankfully it wasn’t as visible on his tanned skin. Besides, as a fire wielding mage, being bothered by having a hot face would have been quite silly. But the truth remained – he was completely smitten by his friend. Always catching himself in a longing gaze, following her movements and being at her beck and call if anything were to happen. It was as if his senses had tuned in with her existence. If she smelled differently, or if her smell faded, Natsu was the first to know. If she was shivering, he felt himself drawn to her like a magnet, like he had to fulfil his job of warming her up. If she made a sound, Natsu tuned out all other sounds. He didn’t even do this consciously – it was just part of life.

He recalled the day they had. He woke up with Lucy in his arms, ate breakfast with her, washed up in her bathroom and went to the guild with her. He spent the entire day in her vicinity, hanging out with the mates she hung out with, eating beside her, having a midday nap with his head in her lap, and then the babysitting. How he loved to hear her voice, no matter the things she was saying – the chirpy, singing tune that felt as natural to his ears as the sound of birdsong. Calming even, with a soothing effect on his mind. The fact that the voice was telling elaborate stories of ninja-heroes with magic powers and villains that could create volcanic eruptions out of nowhere was only a small detail – the content of her words barely mattered as long as he could hear her speak.

After getting released from babysitting duties, the two of them had continued to spend the day together. The trip to the grocery store wasn’t exactly exciting on its own – there was uncooked food and bright ceiling lights, none of them things that Natsu spent his day longing for. However, within this unappealing territory, a secret hid. The actual content of the store never became any more appealing, but walking along the aisles with Lucy was like entering a different world. A world where the two of them could stay together like this always, doing small, mundane tasks and still feeling fulfilled. In this world Lucy would ask about toothpaste preference, what type of coffee he wanted to have in the morning, despite her not drinking coffee, and she’d tell him off for only picking snacks that fit his own tastes. But he wouldn’t mind a little scolding, because at the end of the day, it was the fact that they were shopping together that made things special. She was making small changes in her kitchen so he could feel at home – that’s the world he never wanted to leave.

Currently, Lucy was patting down her pockets in search of her apartment key. He could see them in the back pocket of her shorts, but he didn’t bother mentioning it, since she would find them soon enough. He did, however, take this opportunity to tease her a little.

“Ya’ sure ya’ wanna stand out here and let the milk sour?” He grinned when he saw her whip her head around, her face clad with a scowl.

“I literally have the key in my hand, could you be any less patient?” Natsu could just make out that she rolled her eyes as she turned back around and unlocked the door. He was first to enter, still snickering from the teasing.

“You start chopping the vegetables, I need a shower.” Lucy shivered as she thought of the abundance of toddler-drool that must have been clinging to her body the past hours. Natsu confirmed her commando with a nod and started putting the food they wouldn’t cook with in the fridge. 

By now he knew her kitchen by heart. That too was one of those things he felt fond of. To be allowed in her space, trusted with her items – not everyone had the privilege. Her team could be allowed in as guests, granted permission to make themselves at home, but it didn’t really compare with what Natsu could do in her home. He had his own coffee cup, his assigned seat at the kitchen table and in her couch, his toothbrush was allowed in the same cup as hers in the bathroom, and hygiene products had their own little designated places in her cabinet over the sink. He had a drawer in her dresser, snacks in her kitchen, a place to put his sandals as he entered her hallway. He even liked to think that she saved some space on the left side of her bed for him to cuddle up against her at night, even if she pretended to dislike it.

But it wasn’t just her apartment that he had the privilege to share with her. Not just the physical, practical stuff. She always seemed to fit Natsu into her life, whether it regarded an empty chair beside her at the guild, or an open lap for his head to rest on the train. She opened up all conversations she had, for Natsu to join. He couldn’t see her purposefully ignoring or shutting him out if he tried – but now that he was thinking about it, he also realised that it went both ways. Time spent apart from her was time spent in vain. He couldn’t enjoy himself without her by his side.

***

“Do ya’ ever wonder how Nasha’s doin’?” Lucy looked up at Natsu who had broken the silent atmosphear, her fork stuck in the air between her plate and her face.

“Edo-Lucy’s kid?” She asked, confused as to why he’d ask her this out of nowhere.

“Yeah.”

Lucy tried to understand what he was asking for, but his facial expression was vague, not serving her any clues.

“Well…” she began, putting down her fork to think. “I suppose I sometimes think of her, but I’m sure she’s fine. Lucy and Natsu are really good parents, after all.” She couldn’t help but blush when she used their names in that context. She didn’t consider herself to be naive anymore – she could handle talking about their Edolas counterparts and their lifestyles as parents without stuttering and stumbling over her words. That didn’t mean she didn’t still feel a bit affected by the implications. She and Natsu rarely spoke about relationships and intimacy with each other, so naturally her face would get hotter if he brought up a subject like this.

“Guess you’re right,” Natsu said, still seeming lost in thought.

“What brought it on? Have you been thinking about the quest recently?”

It took a minute for him to answer.

“No, it’s more like… I’ve sorta been thinkin’ of my future?” Lucy nodded a little – it was clear to her that he had been thinking hard about it. Normally he seemed so content to just live in the moment, taking life one day at a time, but she knew it wasn’t as simple as that, not even for him. He too had goals beyond just having a good next meal. “Ya’ know, ever since I reunited with Igneel I’ve tried to keep my promise, to keep looking into the future.”

He was looking down at his plate as he spoke. Any time Igneel became the topic of the conversation, he became very aware of the fact that he would never see him again. He knew Lucy could see how talking about him troubled him, and he’d rather not look straight into her eyes as he did. It would definitely open the dams and clog up his throat – right now he wanted to keep his train of thought.

“I guess I’ve just been thinking about what I’m missing.” He frowned, realising that’s not exactly what he meant. “The Edo-versions of us seemed so happy when we met them. And Gajeel and Levy have been weirdly happy ever since they had kids. So I guess I’ve been a bit envious.”

Lucy smiled. She knew how he felt, she really did. Having a big, loving family had been a lifelong dream, so seeing people achieve exactly that before she even had her first kiss riddled her with jealousy at times.

“But do you really think a baby would fill that space?” She asked. Natsu scratched his head. He had already thought about that, analysed their families to really pin-point the differences. The result? Natsu had everything that Levy and Gajeel and Edo-Lucy and Edo-Natsu had, except for kids. He had a home, he had friends, he had a loving guild, and he shared an amazing bond with someone he’d consider his life partner. There really was nothing else.

“It’s the only part that’s missing,” he ended up answering.

“Don’t you want a girlfriend first?” A wife, she wanted to add, but silenced herself.

“Why would I need one? I have you.”

Lucy blushed a little but tried to laugh him off.

“Natsu, you realise that I can’t get pregnant out of thin air, right?” She glanced up at him through her bangs. Was he pouting?

“I know how babymaking works,” he said to her, shifting in his seat. He knew he had started the conversation, but it was taking an awkward direction. Lucy looked like she finally understood what he was hinting at, her mouth dropping slightly agape.

“I... N-natsu! Are you suggesting we…?” She couldn’t finish her sentence before he abruptly interrupted her. 

“I want a child.”

Lucy shrieked. Was this man hearing himself?

“I’m ready,” he continued.

“Well, I’m not! Hold on a second Natsu, have you really thought this through?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“What’s with you? It’s not like we gotta make one right this second.”

“No kidding!”

The blush on Lucy’s face was spreading down her neck. She hurried to take a few deep breaths before Natsu sputtered out more nonsense.

“Look, it’s not that I would hate having a family with you,” she began, deliberately avoiding the dark eyes that were drilling through her. “It’s the part where you and I would make a family, that would be weird. I need romantic love to be involved in that process.”

Natsu observed her as she squirmed in her chair. Was she really this dense?

“Naturally there’d be love involved. What do you take me for?” He deadpanned.

“No, Natsu, I could only do that stuff with my boyfriend, you know that.”

Of course he knew that. He had been listening to her go on about her ideal boyfriend for years, he knew that hypothetical man inside and out.

“Couldn’t that be me though?”

Lucy frantically searched his face for any sign that he was pulling her leg. This had to be a joke – no way was this discussion happening over her dinner table on a normal Thursday.

“Are you asking me out…?” She felt herself blush harder as she voiced the thought.

“I s’pose I am,” he grinned at their odd predicament.

“Does that mean that you love me?” Lucy’s eyes were big as saucers.

“Of course I do.”

“Romantically, I mean. Not like a friend or team mate.” She cringed at her words, but she couldn’t afford mistaking him – her lifespan would actually be reduced to nothing if that were the case.

“Geez, Luigi, just what type of man am I in your mind? He seems awful.” Natsu muttered the last part, really hoping she’d counter it. Lucy, however, was still trying to register what he was doing. The man she loved was asking her out in the most Natsu-way ever, and she was just sitting there with her plate in front of her half full, feeling her jaw drop into her lap. “Of course I love you,” he clarified.

“No way.”

Natsu cringed.

“Is that your answer?”

Lucy flew up from her seat, her chair falling backwards with her momentum.

“What?! No! I mean, argh!” She grabbed her hair in frustration. “I love you too!”

Natsu’s eyes lit up.

“Really?” He grinned, standing up too to get a better look at her. She was sporting a wild blush, but her facial expression was stuck in a frustrated grimace. “You sure? You look constipated.”

Lucy would have reprimanded him if he didn’t have a point. Here she was, in the middle of her happiest moment alive, and her mouth was pressed together into a squiggly line. With a deep breath she softened her face and smiled.

“I’m sure. I really do love you.”

Natsu couldn’t hold himself away any longer. With his mouth twisted into a big smile, he closed the distance between them with a kiss. For a split second he found himself thinking that kissing wasn’t anything special, but that thought fled his brain the second Lucy kissed him back. Plush, soft lips, making movements so small they seemed more like adjustments. He loved it.

When they finally broke apart, Natsu had to ask.

“So what’s that stance on babymaking?”

Lucy giggled against his lips before mumbling her answer.

“Let’s take it one step at a time, stallion.”

_____________________________________

Notes: please pat me on the back for finishing this... it wasn't easy, especially considering the fact that i haven't felt very passionate for this prompt. but i did it! for some reason it was really hard to portray natsu? getting that perfect mixture of goofy and serious is harder than rocket science, please don't hate me if he was ooc. at least they kissed, lol

oh! and here's my crazy long motivation to gajevy babynames: Boy twin - Kanetatsu, has these kanjis 金龍 where 金 means gold, but is also used as a general term for metals. It also covers money, coins, golden colour, just to name a few. 龍 means dragon, an imaginary animal, an outstanding person, a hero. Thought that was fitting with Gajeel as a dad, but also Levy who I imagine came up with all names. Girl twin - Kanae, written with these kanjis 金恵, the first kanji being the same as Kanetatsu’s, whereas the second kanji, this one 恵, means grace, caring and compassion. Most people probably know this, but parents in Japan often use names that will sort of manifest the life for their kids, so I imagine Levy would put extra effort into these things, as it’s a symbol of what the parents are expecting from their kid as well. And then the newborn, I named her Akane with these kanjis 亜金 because I thought Gajeel would like to use the same kanji for all the kids, bc I can imagine he’d want to create a little Redfox-clan lol, and 亜 means companions, which I like as a nod towards the guild, but also to make her be part of her siblings, despite not being a twin.

(wow, what a ramble...) anyways, hope you enjoyed and i'll see y'all the next fic <3 happy october! xoxo

[performativezippers]

here's some random writing advice that i've found helpful, in no order, that i reserve the right to add to at any time:

no one says everything they're thinking. in dialogue, less is more. people don't speak in paragraphs, they speak in sentences, especially when they're not telling a story. let the dialogue be brief, and use interiority (thoughts) to show the reader all the things they aren't saying.

use physical cues to help the POV character understand what the non-POV character is thinking/feeling/not saying/lying about. For example, if we're in Jane's POV while Maura is talking, and Maura says "I'm fine," Jane can notice that her eyes are darting around like she's anxious, or she's crossed and uncrossed her arms, almost like she's nervous. there's no need to say MAURA SEEMS NERVOUS, let the reader get it from what Jane's picking up.

let the reader be curious—don't info dump—but don't frustrate them by giving so little that they don't know what's going on. this is a very very fine line sometimes, and betas can be really helpful for pointing it out until you've gotten the feel for it.

Use paragraph breaks, for the love of god.

Only italicize things that really and truly cannot be explained any other way. "What are you doing here?" for example doesn't need any italics. If you can't get the reader to understand what you mean without the italics, then, sure, use them. but SPARINGLY. use body language, interiority, other words, and dialogue tags (shouts, yells, whispers, cries, she says as her voice cracks) to get the reader what they need.

"What are you doing here?" could be "what on earth are you doing here?" (aka, i have no fucking idea why you're here, my dude)

"What are you doing here?" could be "i told you to stay out of this, lucy! what are you doing here?" (aka, lucy you specifically should not be here)

"What are you doing here?" could be "jesus, you scared the shit out of me! I thought you were at the front! what are you doing here?" (aka, i'm not surprised to see you, but i'm surprised to see you HERE what the fuck)

Don't head hop. Know who's POV you're in and STAY IN IT until the chapter break, scene change that's clearly indicated by ***, whatever. if this is challenge, try writing in first person to get in the habit of only knowing what your POV character knows. There is, of course, 3rd person omniscient narration, but it's really fucking hard to pull off and honestly I recommend staying away from it entirely. Most things you'll read are written in first or close 3rd, and that's not an accident.

Let your characters move around in space. let them notice the things around them.

If Kate walks into a room, i'll probably list what she sees in order of importance, unless it's a big reveal. i'll add voice to that so you'll know i did it on purpose.

in order of appearance: "the body lies in the middle of the big, wide room. the ceiling must be twenty feet up, and there are plenty of windows, the way the light catches the falling dust mites looks more like a church than a crime scene."

with reveal/voice: "Kate bursts into the room and immediately skids to a stop. it's too bright, all white walls and high windows. it looks like the kind of room you'd put a WeWork in, or maybe a super expensive soulcycle. normally Kate would be itching for a paint roller and some blueprints, but today she ignores the terrible architectural choices, choosing to focus instead on the dead body congealing in a puddle of dark brown blood in the middle of the floor."

try to have an internal plot/obstacle (alex can't be honest with maggie about their relationship because she hasn't told her that her sister is superhero) and external plot/obstacle (there is a serial killer targeting aliens in national city, and all three women are on his radar). Best practice is for them to intersect and create layered, complex problems (maggie can't understand why alex is so fucking freaked out about this serial killer in the first act; yes, crime is bad, but like, it's their job? why won't alex TALK to her? where does she keep running off to in secret? does alex even actually want to be with her??)

Everything should have: tension, stakes, obstacles. Try not to make all of that hinge on a misunderstanding or one person being too chicken to confess their feelings. that gets boring and frustrating for the reader.

If you need to make a calendar, make one. If you need a cast list, write one. keep yourself on track.

introduce new original characters slowly. give them one name (first and last is usually not necessary at the start). give us one or two things to remember about them. Jenna is the producer of the tv show. Jenna is mean. the next time she comes back, call her "jenna the producer." then the next time you can hint to her role, like "jenna has her big clipboard and is shouting at everyone to get the fucking cameras ready." if jenna doesn't come back again, don't name her. be kind to your readers who forget things, and help them out by limiting the named cast to people who need to be named. if they don't show up until halfway through, don't introduce them until halfway through. for fanfic, obviously this is easier because we know everyone, but still, please. only have the people in the scene who need to be there. huge scenes with 5-8+ characters present are a MESS.

if your character has two best friends who fill the same role, cut one. streamline so i as the reader have less to keep track of.

banter can be fun to write, but dialogue without movement, choreography, internal thoughts, lies, physical cues, and plot movement gets really boring to read. if a scene is skippable, ask yourself what would make it essential, and add that.

every conversation should do at least two things. things can be:

move the plot forward

deepen, change, or complexify an existing relationship

create tension (plot, romance, etc)

explore stakes

attempt to get over the obstacle

FOR EXAMPLE: Helena and Myka almost kissing when they shouldn't because Helena is with Some Dude? yes! that's romantic tension and attempting to get over the obstacle (some dude). Myka rambling to claudia about almost kissing helena for 3 pages: no! That does nothing on this list. the event already happened, and a long debrief about it isn't interesting to the reader. Let Myka ruminate while she's doing one of the other things. and by ruminate, i mean KEEP A LIGHT TOUCH HERE, ruminating is very very easy to make boring and maudlin. trust your reader; be subtle about it.

[districtxii]

Thoughts upon finishing The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Spoilers unmarked ahead as it's been out for a while and the title of the post warns for them.

As I've mentioned in my other few posts about it so far, I came into TBOSAS as a movie-only watcher despite having been a book-first person back when the original Hunger Games films came out.

I've got to say that when I heard the idea of a prequel about President Snow which included a love story, my tumblr-raised self wasn't particularly interested. I remember seeing the book display at Walmart when it first came out and not really having time or interest at the time.

However, the movie trailer caught my attention, and I'm really glad that it did.

I am happy that TBOSAS, while having a single POV character in Snow, switched from first person narration to third person. I remember reading meta years ago that I wholeheartedly agree with. While one can make the argument that the "blindspots" one gets in the original trilogy themselves make a point, having a slightly more zoomed out, third person point of view just feels better for the scope of the story. As an English teacher, I can't help but feel like it's a little more mature, too.

But without the movie, I still don't know if I would have ever picked up this book in audio or visual format.

Funnily enough, looking back on the first four Hunger Games movies, I actually don't like them as much as I like the books for the most part. The visuals are good in parts, but I do not like the casting philosophy that was used. I sort of hope that we are around long enough to see remakes as a prestige miniseries or something like that.

Back to thoughts on TBOSAS: I remember seeing a few kind of poorly produced (sorry lol) thinkpieces on websites like ScreenRant that were insisting that you weren't getting the full picture from the movie, that the movie made Snow too sympathetic, that you have to understand he's a monster because he views Lucy Gray in an objectifying manner or because he gets Sejanus killed.

I think that those takes have a point. However, I think that they also miss the nuance of the narrative, and I am not even suggesting that the prose is particularly deep or esoteric. Just that people love to be reactionary.

What I saw in Snow's character throughout the book was someone who was warring with various philosophical and personal dilemmas without having anyone he ever really trusted to talk through it.

There are moments with Lucy Gray and with Sejanus when Coryo almost opens up completely. When he has real conversations with them. But, like Katniss, he is a traumatized person who has a lot of baggage which makes him strategize and behave defensively with every decision he makes.

If anything, Coryo is LESS closed off than Katniss is at first throughout most of the story.

I couldn't source it, but I distinctly remember reading someone suggest that they believed that Coriolanus became irredeemable when he got Sejanus killed. However, reading through his internal conflict about the decision to snitch on him was one of the times when I found Coriolanus the most human and relatable. He was torn in every direction. He is someone who is deeply propagandized into a fascist regime whose family has a personal narrative of power and meaning within that regime. He also believes that the Capitol is necessary and better than the alternative. He wants Sejanus to survive and to change his mind. He wants him to stop putting himself in danger. He wants him to stop implicating Coriolanus by association. And yet, Coriolanus does feel responsible and tied to him, however much he hates it.

Coriolanus defends himself from emotional attachment and the cost of loving anyone, romantically or platonically, as a defense mechanism.

It isn't until he works himself into a frenzy and narrates what Lucy Gray must be thinking out at the lake in the end that he finds himself so utterly alone in his own head that he has no choice in his mind except to give into his colder side that he associates with his father, the Capitol, and ruthlessness.

Interestingly, a running theme throughout the book - without ever being explicitly stated in these exact words - is that Coriolanus is irreligious and doesn't believe in gods, rituals, or an afterlife. Every time someone brings up the stars or fate or performs some kind of ritual associated with passing on an even in the scene where Lucy Gray sings about the hereafter and therebefore, he can't help but internally scoff at the idea. He holds himself as more enlightened than those who believe in such superstitions.

But then, when he is all alone and trying to navigate his way back to District 12 with his father's compass, he starts to believe that there is some kind of spiritual guidance and blessing from his father, whom he never even felt close to except as an idea.

I think that Coriolanus's internal journey is an exploration of opposites and the divide that Lucy Gray describes and how evil is rarely even a boundary over which one cannot cross back into good from. It's just that, at a certain point, Coriolanus cannot bear the weight of his own guilt and misgivings if he ever turns back to a "better" path.

On the subject of Lucy Gray: I've got to say that I thought the book was effective in showing Lucy Gray as someone with dimension and depth that Coriolanus saw glimpses of but never really fully understood. Had he stayed with her and not needed "civilization" so much, I believe he would have learned to see her as more and more of a full person. However, the way she is written in the book, it is really hard for me to get a mental image of her at all.

Again, I think that this is perhaps intentional as a part of this format of the story. However, I find that I appreciate Rachel Ziegler's portrayal of Lucy Gray so much because without it, I'm not sure I would find that much to emotionally invest in. This is actually quite the opposite, as I like my mental image of Katniss far more than JLaw's portrayal lol.

Anyway, those are my wrap-up thoughts.

[adoroborosgoth]

Crowley dying in s3

I wasn't sure how to start this meta. I've had this theory with possible (big possible) evidence sitting around for ages and I just didn't know what to do with the information.

After I'd already had this information, I only seen a hand full of others talk about it, but none have touched on it in the same way as the things I've found in my research.

So let's get on with it. For reference I'm going to tag @nightingalecottage and their lovely post here. I really recommend reading it. This theory only saw the light of day because of their post and I told them I would tag them with my meta since it lends a lot to it. And I promised myself that I would finish this for them.

Now for the meat and potatoes. I'll break it all down about how I found this information and how it might lend some theory about possible plot to s3.

This got really long so I put a cut.

-Silly narrator voice-

The facts were these.

To start I was doing research for a fic I'm working on and the details don't matter much but I'd planned to make my 'human' crowley a barrister. I was googling famous barristers for inspiration.

This lead me to wikipedia naturally as you do. And as I was looking over the list I saw this.

After seeing this name on the list of barristers in popular culture I had a mini freakout. Mainly because two things NG is a huge fan of Charles Dickens and A Tale of Two Cities is on the bookclub reading list. And I kept thinking why did this seem familiar and this is why.

A Tale of Two Cities is on the list of books that they recommend we read or were found in s2. So after I stopped freaking out I immediately went to the wiki page for this character. I wasn't too familiar with this book so I wanted to know more. As I was now super invested and intrigued. And found this.

Sydney Carton

I couldn't help be blown away by the similarities here between Sydney Carton and a certain depressed snake demon from s2. Morosely asking Shax on a bench in the first episode "What's the point of it all?"

For some context, in the novel Sydney Carton and his later best friend Charles Darnay share a striking semblance and are easily mistaken for each other. This is how Sydney is then able to make the switch with Darnay in the end saving his life.

This brings to mind of the lore that we know that Crowley and Aziraphale were once long ago one character and split into two. Also with the ideal casting choice that Terry Pratchett wanted one actor to play both roles. That would have been really interesting and funny. Also this plays into our favorite duo MS and DT having not worked together before because they were up for the same roles.

Let's move on to

Charles Darnay

Darnay resents his uncle's views much how Aziraphale resents certain aspects of heaven, but is never able to act on very much.

The note about Darnay being tutor of French made me chuckle considering what we know about Aziraphale being terrible at French. With that whole scene centered around it in s2.

Ok so we all are well versed and familiar with the famous Bastille scene. We all know the one and its clear the inspiration here for it comes from A Tale of Two Cities possibly.

Side note Darnay and Carton are both in love with Lucie here, but I posit that in the case of Good omens, Aziraphale is possibly both Darnay and Lucie. Making him the best friend and love intrest.

Lucie Manette

And finally why does any of this matter and what does this have to do with Crowley maybe dying in s3 you ask?

The one important detail in all of this is that at the end of the novel Carton heroically sacrificed himself to save his best friend and for the women he loves. He feels it gave him purpose and felt as if his life finally had meaning.

Two things here. The scene in which Carton swaps places with Darnay being able to pass as him well enough to save his life. Is very reminiscent of our Body Swap from s1. As well as the idea that in s3 this could also happen, but in the sense that Crowley does it to save Aziraphale's life. I clearly have no idea how s3 will play out.

Now I'm not saying that s3 will be as dramatic as all of this. It is still a comedy at its core. As others have touched on in meta and in nightingalecottage's post there are many little hints that point to the similarities and the idea that Crowley maybe doomed by the narrative. In a way, I personally don't think that Crowley's hypothetical death will be permanent. I just do not see that happening at all. A temporary death I could definitely see and it could also serve to show how much Crowley truly means to Aziraphale. The shock of it would maybe be similar to how Crowley thought he lost Aziraphale in s1 and could be a parallel.

In the end this is all speculation and theory. Either way the idea of it all makes me vibrate and I needed to finally share this with someone else. They wouldn't have recommended this book if there wasn't some sort of meaning here right? And its entirely possible I'm looking in the wrong direction.

Overall there are many parallels and similarities here between A Tale of Two Cities and certain parts of Good Omens, I'm sure I may have missed some and I just wanted to end this now before it gets too long. If you made it this far and have any other theories or something you want to add on to this please feel free to tag me. I release this into the void.

[oddishfeeling]

do you have any book recommendations? pls i need lots 💙💙

this is such a loaded question friend. but lucky for u, i am procrastinating assignments, my take out has yet to arrive, and i just finished another book!

horror fic has been my choice for the last several books

the centre by ayesha manazir siddiqi is about a young Pakistani woman living in the UK. she's a translator for Urduru films. language and translation are central to this book. people are becoming fluent in a matter of weeks in complex languages.... the centre is gorgeous if not entirely mysterious, magical even. but whats the catch?? beautifully written. vivid details. anisa is a flawed, honest, and genuine feeling mc, as are the people in her life. i just finished it a couple hours ago n i miss my girls.

slewfoot by brom is set in 17th century Connecticut. our protag, Abitha, is not from this town but she does he best to adhere to the Puritan standards, if not for her well being, than that of her husband's. something stirs in the outskirts of the village, in the forest and beyond. she finds help from an unlikely source while also fostering a deep inner power of her own. these characters felt so well thought out, the writing is magnetic and the action is well paced. it puts so many preconceived notions right on their head. i loved this book and can't wait to read brom's other novel, the child thief, a retelling of peter pan and the lost boys!

sister, maiden, monster by lucy a. synder was oh so gay and oh so cosmically horrendous. this is like h.p. lovecraft wasn't a weird racist. this is like if biblically accurate angels were once just women in love. this is horrifying, visceral, and relevant to our COVID world. i was gawking at so many of the details. there are so many monster themes actually, it's perfect. the story is told through 3 povs of 3 different women. and we love women! and horror! i didn't expect to pick this one up but I'm so glad i did.

mary: an awakening of terror by nat cassidy do u know what it's like to be virtually invisible? forgotten? disaffected? do u know the pure joy of having a precious collection, adding to it over time, and it being almost ur only reason for living anymore?? then you're a lot like mary. and mary is a lot like plenty of women who get the chance to live beyond adolescence, who are cast out by society-- deemed invaluable. mary is utterly lost at a time in her life she feels she should have it all figured out. she goes back to her hometown, an ambiguous small town in the middle of the desert, and some unlikely characters help her piece things back together. i finished this book feeling so close to mary. we are friends now. there is mystique, horror, fables, myths, bad guys, mysterious architecture, and well mary is not the most reliable narrator. loved this one too.

the last house on needless street by catriona ward i had no idea where this book was going and i loved piecing the narrative together through several characters and their povs. it forces u to confront ur own biases regarding mental health. u are sympathetic to the characters in the most painful, heart wrenching ways. there is murder. there is mystery. there is missing children. there are cats. this book surprised me and it was fun to have to find a couple reddit threads to be sure i was understanding the story correctly. i felt like i read this kind of fast! which is always fun too.

brother by ania ahlborn this one pissed me off a bit. but in a good way because i was so deeply invested. this one is set in Appalachia. i'm not one for stereotypes, especially bc i think Appalachians have a bad rep and it's of no fault of their own. that being said, the insular feel of the book and the absolute claustrophobia those mountains create in this story were like a character in it of itself. our protag, michael, knows there's something beyond. he's seen them on colorful postcards. but his own mind and his own heart seem utterly trapped here. this one is heartbreaking. it's horrifying. and it'll make u dizzy from the amount of times u change ur mind. excited to read her other novel, Seed, because this one stuck with me so much!

a couple honorable mentions that fit the theme:

the vegetarian by han kang korean food. infidelity. art. nightmares. inexplicable mindfucks! this story was scary because it felt very.. possible? no monsters this time. no spells. just... the mind deteriorating. could happen to any of us.

a certain hunger by chelsea g. summers what if girlbossing is just a quick pivot from sociopathy?? what if the crimes are so much more gratifying than say, fame or fortune or even love?? women can be sociopaths too, you know!! this one is fun bc the protag is crazy and it's fun to slip into these characters. cathartic even. omg did i mention, she's a foodie too! just like me :-)

[green-planets]

Sharing some of my thoughts on Cinderella's Castle because I have no one to talk with irl about it (I'm sure most of my points have already been brought up by other people but whatever!) Dark fantasy is my bread and butter so I'm a little disappointed that I had such mixed feelings after my first watch through.

BE WARNED THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!

First thing's first, the set, lighting, PUPPETS, and COSTUMES were gorgeous!! The team knocked it out of the park with the look of the show!

Also the twists on the classic Cinderella story were *chef's kiss* The explanations for why no one could remember Ella's face, how the glass slippers worked, and the Stepmother CHOPPING OFF ELLA'S FEET!?! AND SEWING THEM ONTO PUTRICE'S SKIN SUIT SO SHE COULD WEAR THE SLIPPERS!?!?! Strokes of genius. I applaud the Langs

I wanted to see way more of Sir Hop-A-Lot and Crumb! I think they definitely would have benefitted from having a song with Ella, it would have helped solidify their bond and helped flesh out their characters (tbh Ragweed felt like he had more character than either of them 😭)

The songs were VERY hit or miss for me and I felt like a few of them didn't really match the tone of the show. Ash to Ash was a standout number (Kim absolutely killed it!!)

Bryce was amazing as expected and I'm so so happy she was the lead! Her voice is to die for and she brought so much emotion to the role of Ella

I was surprised the Prince and Tadius didn't get a comedic song. It would have worked so well for the scene where Tadius was announcing the ball! He could have been describing ideal characteristics of a queen to the Prince while the Prince goes off on horny ramblings, Tadius gets more frustrated as the song goes on until he finally throws up his hands in defeat, etc.

That being said, I was not a fan of the majority of the raunchy humor. Almost every line that came from the Prince was so unnecessarily gross. I know that was the whole point and I love James as an actor but the character just was not for me. Maybe I'm getting too old for constant streams of dick and poop jokes. I kinda wished they had stuck with a more serious tone overall

This is definitely a nitpick: the fairy godmother scene was SO GOOD (probably my favorite tbh) but I was SO distracted by the pants (AND THE SHOES STICKING OUT!!!) The costume would have looked more ethereal with a floor length skirt imo (or at least cover up her feet!)

I loved Jeff as the narrator. His interactions with Ragweed were very fun!

I had some issues with the pacing and the ending felt very rushed. Ella's final confrontation with her Stepmother should have been an epic battle but instead we got an exposition dump, a flash of light, and it was over :/ Kind of disappointing for the big climax of the show tbh

This is a criticism I've had with several Starkid musicals (aka Hatchetfield trilogy) where we have a character's friend(s) die horrifically and get very little emotional reaction from said character. So THANK YOU Langs for letting Ella properly mourn Lucy and Justine at the end!!!

I do have a lot more thoughts but they feel like nitpicks and complaints about minor plot holes and such, so I don't know if they're really worth sharing at this time. Anyway, overall I thought Cinderella's Castle was okay. The good parts were REALLY REALLY GOOD but unfortunately there were a lot a bits I personally did not enjoy as much as I'd hoped. I'll try to give it at least a second watch before my digital ticket expires to see if any of my opinions change. If not, I'll wait until the pro-shot comes out next year.

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough, Ch 1

Welcome to the Northanger Abbey Readthrough, October 2023! I will be posting one chapter per day, which will take us right to Halloween. This readthrough does contain spoilers, because I can't help myself.

We begin with the advertisement from the author, who is clearly annoyed that her first novel was purchased and then not published.

That any bookseller should think it worth-while to purchase what he did not think it worth-while to publish seems extraordinary.

While Jane Austen notes that books have changed, by which I assume she means the popularity of some of the novels referenced, I am pleased to inform you that Anthony Trollope mentioned Mrs. Radcliff and The Mysteries of Udolpho in his 1987 novel, Barchester Towers! Even the veil! So clearly the novels she was satirizing had not yet gone out of style.

On to the story! Catherine Morland is so very normal. The most normal girl ever. She also isn't an orphan, both her parents are living which the narrator points out is very hard for a heroine (lol). She doesn't really like lessons and she likes running around and rolling down hills.

She never could learn or understand anything before she was taught; and sometimes not even then, for she was often inattentive, and occasionally stupid.

Catherine's indifference to flowers will come up later, but this line is also funny in a forbidden fruit way:

Indeed she had no taste for a garden; and if she gathered flowers at all, it was chiefly for the pleasure of mischief—at least so it was conjectured from her always preferring those which she was forbidden to take.

This is a great description of an older sibling (I like to think this describes me as an older sister):

very kind to the little ones, with few interruptions of tyranny

And her family is so good and normal too! Her mom seems to have some good parenting practices:

She learnt a year, and could not bear it; and Mrs. Morland, who did not insist on her daughters being accomplished in spite of incapacity or distaste, allowed her to leave off.

The Morland family seems like a strong contrast to the Bennets, both of them employing no governess. We learn that the Morlands are actively invested in their children's education (unlike the Bennets):

Writing and accounts she was taught by her father; French by her mother: her proficiency in either was not remarkable, and she shirked her lessons in both whenever she could.

And even though the older girls are left to "shift for themselves", Mrs. Morland, who is both poorer and has double the children, can be more easily excused for some neglect. She sounds like a slave to the children's education, unlike Mrs. Bennet!

Catherine, a tomboy, begins to become interested in more feminine pursuits, but she does not transform into a great beauty or an accomplished young lady. Her achievements are similar to those of the ordinary person:

So far her improvement was sufficient—and in many other points she came on exceedingly well; for though she could not write sonnets, she brought herself to read them; and though there seemed no chance of her throwing a whole party into raptures by a prelude on the pianoforte, of her own composition, she could listen to other people’s performance with very little fatigue.

Catherine is just the most relatable heroine ever! She's adequate. She's reasonably intelligent, passingly pretty, a true Every Woman. And really, the whole novel is full of so many small human moments that hit just as hard as the more dramatic ones from other novels (Lucy telling Elinor Edward is engaged to her, Louisa falling from the Cobb, Lydia's elopement) because they are things that might happen to anyone. Really wanting to see your crush and instead having to hang out with someone you dislike; not knowing if someone is angry at you or not; and finding out your friend isn't a real friend... Northanger Abbey somehow explores the most ordinary things without making them boring.

Also, while Catherine may seem unintelligent, the girl must have read a lot of Shakespeare, the quotes in this chapter come from Twelfth Night, Measure for Measure, and Othello. I reluctantly read 5 Shakespearean plays in high school, so Catherine is at about par with my education (I like Shakespeare now! I learned to appreciate him in university when I saw a few of the plays in person).

Catherine is also such a happy, bubbly, character. I can really imagine her being "all happiness" when her parents consent to her trip to Bath. We are told Emma Woodhouse has a happy disposition, but we don't see her dancing in her chair all the way home after a fun evening. Catherine really has joy and she comes back quickly from disappointment. She's a really great character to go on a journey with.

I feel like it must be noted, Catherine has to get away from her family to have an adventure because she has good parents. Good parents are exactly what you want to have, but as the narrator points out, they hardly make a good heroine! So the narrator is forced to remove our nascent heroine from her loving home into the dubious care of the Allens (and really they aren't that bad) for her story to begin. This contrasts again with the Bennets, who manage to supply a good deal of the story's conflict all on their own!

[sciroccoorion35]

All My Ao3 Series

To my surprise and delight, I have been getting some comments and kudos on some really old fics lately. I don’t know if this was prompted by my clumsy foray into tumblr, or Locklyle week, or just new people finding the fandom. Whatever the reason, I know my back catalog is long and shall we say, eclectic? So I thought I should maybe do some explaining for the new folks (and for the old folks who have spent the past year watching my insanity with amused tolerance).  I’m going to start with my many series, in alphabetical order, of which there are three basic kinds: continuous stories, fics that live in the same universe, and collections based entirely on vibe (I just like organizing things, okay?). I hope this is helpful to someone 😀

After: A One Bed Wednesday Series

This is a true continuous story and I recommend you read it in order. However, since it follows the events of canon, as long as you’ve read the books, it will probably make sense in almost any order (except perhaps the last fic, which ties everything together).

Black Winter Melancholy 

This one is all vibes, though the first two fics are meant to be companion pieces. I actually wrote another from Holly’s pov but it’s been languishing in my WIPs folder longer than almost any other fic.

Curtain Call - Performing Arts AU

This is a continuous story, however I know many people have read Winter’s Tale without reading Curtain Call and said it was fine. Winter’s Tale is probably a little better written (I was very new to writing when I wrote Curtain Call) and includes every Christmas trope I was able to cram into it.

From the Mixed Up Files of Lucy Joan Carlyle

These are stories that fit into book canon and are narrated by Lucy, doing my best to copy her voice straight from the books. These are really fun to write 🙂

Flares and Flashes: Lockwood & Co. Drabbles and Ficlets

This is barely even vibes, this is just little ficlets that do not in any way go together and should probably not be read together. I don’t know why I have a series for these 😂

Lockwood & Co Consulting (Post Canon Collection) 

These live in the same universe of post canon. I had been inspired by works like The Dying Light to write a post canon fic where Lucy and Flo go to therapy and their relationships with their boys progress. However it was a lot of ideas and no coherent plot so it’s now a series and anything post canon gets thrown into the mix.

Lockwood & Co. TV Adaptations

People either love these or refuse to read them. Yes, they are scripts, but I’ve tried to make them as readable as possible, similar to reading a play. If you are here because you are a) a huge fan of the show, b) a huge fan of the show who is incredibly sad not to have season 2 by now, c) a huge fan of the show who found the book characters jarringly different on first read, or d) all of the above, these are for you. I would encourage everyone to at least give them a try. If you can get into it, I really think you may find you love it.

What Dreams May Come: A Collection

Vibe collection! Angsty dream fics. Includes some fics that are in other series too, I just can’t stop writing dreams and nightmares.

After writing these down I feel like I need to 1) add a cot3 series for the cot3 babes, and 2) maybe get rid of the drabble/ficlet series. Also, many of my best fics aren’t in series at all and I have no idea how people find their way to those. By the tags, I would hope?

[bluecatwriter]

How Good And Thoughtful

Ah, thank you for requesting this one, anon! I'm very fond of it.

"How Good and Thoughtful": "Earlier today, Jack Seward had to help kill Lucy's vampire, and now he's in the company of Mina Harker, working together to transcribe and assemble their diaries. He never expected to feel this close to someone he just met, and he's not quite sure how to handle his strong affection for his new friend."

-I put the quote from the book that inspired me at the beginning of the fic, with Mina narrating how Jack helped her get a typewriter set up so she could transcribe his diary. "How good and thoughtful he is; the world seems full of good men— even if there are monsters in it."

-Also I wanted to write this because Mina and Jack have, like, the best meeting of the whole book. They're in a romance novel except Mina's already in love with someone else. They meet at the train station, make extremely awkward small talk, Jack starts blushing furiously, he determines that he needs to keep information from her but five minutes later hands over his entire wax cylinder collection and then they read each other's diaries. I am obsessed with them!

-I'm also always gnawing away on the whole set-up of Jack and Mina spending the evening together alone in his study: Jonathan is halfway across the country tracking down boxes, and meanwhile Mina is having a sleepover with a handsome, well-bred young man whom Lucy thought she might be into— and no one, either in the story or in the way the narrative is presented, bats an eye! As someone who was raised in a very conservative environment where we were taught, explicitly or implicitly, "It is morally wrong for a woman to be alone with a man unless they're married— and this is the way it's always been!", this makes me unreasonably happy. 

-The first part of the fic is mostly logistics, putting dialogue to the summarized part of the book. I wanted to show that Jack is mostly in business mode here, trying to be helpful in any way he can.

-The canon image of Jack sitting with a book while she transcribed so she wouldn't be alone is very sweet to me, so I put it in the fic, too. Meanwhile, Jack, who is bone-tired under the best circumstances but also has been getting even less sleep (and more Horrors) than usual, begins to fantasize a bit about having Mina as a wife. As with Jack's attraction to Lucy, I think you can read his obvious rapport with Mina as being any sort of attraction— sexual, romantic, platonic— although in this fic, them getting along gets mentally slotted into the literally only category he has for a close female relationship, which is "wife."

-I wanted to make it clear that Jack is not being a creeper here, but is channeling his longing for companionship into the want for a wife (and trying very hard not to think too much about it).

-Of course Jack knows Mina is already married, and he's very excited to meet her (surely hunky) husband! I had fun imagining what kind of "strong young manhood" Jack might construct after reading Jonathan's diary. Anyone with such an iron nerve must be the kind of guy who could throw him against a wall, right…?

-Mina having to stop and stretch her hands after typing is my concern for her ligaments during all this typing she does during the novel (and shows up in some other fics, too). My girl is gonna get carpal tunnel if she doesn't stretch!

-I knew I wanted to have them touch in this scene, and figured that him rushing to help with a medical need (proper stretching technique for her hands) would be a good way to do that. I come from a family where we often give each other backrubs or foot-rubs or hand-rubs, so I have familial associations with it, but I liked that it could also be a little charged here just because massaging someone else's hands can feel pretty intimate.

-I diverged a bit from canon by having them stay up together reading through the newspapers; if I remember correctly, Mina does it by herself in the book. I liked how domestic the image was of them poring over newspapers together and reading each other snippets (sort of like how my spouse and I will scroll through our phones side by side, pausing only to show each other memes).

-Since the book has a theme of people falling asleep, I decided to have Mina doze off here (couldn't be me— I cannot sleep in a chair), which of course makes Jack feel a whole lot of other things. He's doing his best not to pine, but man.

-When he wakes Mina up and she says she's going to bed, I was very seriously tempted to veer from my original idea and let them just make out. But I decided to keep my original plan for a couple reasons: even if Mina said it was okay with Jonathan, it didn't feel believable to me for Mina and Jonathan to have discussed polyamory at this point so early in their marriage; it would've made the thing feel more like an AU rather than my vaguely-canon writings that I've compiled. Plus, I wanted the focus to be on their connection, not have the scene just be a jumping-off point for a romance (even though I might write something like the latter at some point). So I reined Jack in and kept going from there.

-I like the little conversation that Mina and Jack have here— it's so earnest and open. I was trying to convey the feeling when you meet someone and you just click and it feels like you've been friends all your life.

-I settled on Jack giving her a cheek kiss, which is still a very bold move for him but more restrained than a dubious makeout session. And then of course he feels terrible for it… but Mina understands and gives him a kiss back. One kiss is enough to make Jack crumple like a cheap paper napkin, so it's probably good I was restrained, anyway. ;) His immediate desire to "fall at her feet and sob into the folds of her skirt" was inspired by Jonathan doing just that later on in the story.

-I figured after all that, Jack needed Floor Time; I just see him as a guy who lies down a lot when he's trying to process things. (In the play I'm working on, his first entry is narrating while he's lying on his back on the floor.)

-A huge number of my fics end with the viewpoint character getting a good night's sleep. This is because 1) sleep is a big running theme in Dracula, and, more importantly, 2) I love sleeping and I want everyone else to get a good night's sleep, too. ;)

Thanks again for the ask!

(Ask game here)

[itssokiee]

Smudged Happiness: Chapter 1

Author’s note: Fairy Tail high school au - but a little fucked up (feat nalu, jerza, gruvia, gale, zervis)

I feel like the true gen z high school experience never got shown truly accurate in media. They either went way over board, like Euphoria, or they were this kinda cringe middle ground, like Ginny and Georgia. Although it’s just a silly fan fiction with gross exagerations, I truly want to show an accurate portrayal about what it was like growing up as teenager in the later 2010s. At least for a suburban middle class.

Lucy is mostly the main character, but a lot of this story is told through the point of view of many different characters. Simultaneous stories happen at the same time, and sometimes a scene is told twice from different povs. All discrepancies are intentional as everyone is an unreliable narrator.

Lucy Hearfilia laid in a bed three times too large for her with her eyes closed yet fully awake. The empty space in her bed suffocated her and the sound her clock's tick echoed in her heartbeat's thud. After what could have been two minutes, or two hours, Lucy got out of bed and walked across the room to her desk. Her desk was handcrafted out of ivory and intricate designs were carved into the legs of the table. Lucy felt nervous with a hint of melancholy so she began to do the only thing that could help settle her nerves. She got out a clean piece of paper and a pen and began to write.

Dear Mom,

I am starting my Sophmore year at Fairy Academy this year. I am feeling kind of nervous right now and I know that if you were here then you would know exactly what to say. Truth is, I don't know what I am so nervous about, after all, I can't wait to see all my friends again-

Lucy smiled at the thought of her friends. She had not seen them all summer due to the trip to Europe she took over the summer. She had to admit that it stung seeing all her friends together on social media but she did not blame them. It was not their fault her summer was taken up by fancy overseas business parties.

I made a lot of great friends after I transferred halfway through freshman year. I am sure you would have loved to meet them, Mom. I expected to have a hard time  finding friends due to my late start however, that was not the case at all. I made friends with the most beautiful girl I have ever met, Mirajane Strauss.

Lucy thought of her friend Mira, she was kind and beautiful, everything Lucy wanted to be. But behind her kind words and a beaming smile, she too knew the tragedy of losing family. Mira's younger sister, Lisanna, was killed in a freak accident when Mira was twelve and her sister was nine. She had learned about Lisanna's tragic end on the third anniversary of her death. On that day, everyone wore purple in remembrance of Lisanna. When Lucy had asked about the occasion, someone had told her that Lisanna had found a baby dove on the ground and decided to put it back in its nest. While she was climbing the tree, a branch snapped and she fell to the ground where she was impaled by a fallen branch. They said that the odds of her landing on the branch at just the right angle to kill her was one in a million. The story haunted Lucy and from that day forward, whenever Lucy saw a dove, she felt her stomach drop.

I also made friends with a girl named Levy McGarden. You would've liked her a lot. Like me, she shares my passion of reading and writing. We were thinking about starting  a creative writing club at our school this year, actually.

Levy was the first friend that she had made when she transferred. Levy was working at the front office the morning Lucy transferred and noticed that Lucy looked lost. Levy asked if she was new and Lucy had replied yes. Levy walked her to her first class and offered Lucy to eat lunch with her and her friends.

Two of my closest friends are Gray and Erza. Last year, we all had our first period and lunch together. Our teacher was harsh and the subject was boring but it was  the best part of my day. We always did projects together and met up at the local cafe near the school.

Erza is a grade ahead and the school council president - all the students respected and feared her. Gray is the carefree slacker who always props his feet up on the desk in front of them. Lucy never imagined she would be able to have friends like them. She smiled as she remembered all the fun they had in their first class together, Juvia's constant declarations of love that Gray never took seriously, going to the mall, and just hanging out after school.

However, never would I have had the friends and the adventures if it wasn't for my best friend, Natsu Dragneel.

Lucy paused and reread her sentence several times. Her best friend Natsu Dragneel. While Levy was her first friend, Natsu introduced her to all her other friends. He always made her feel included in everything that they did. She went over to his house almost on a weekly business, whether it was to study for an upcoming test or just to hang out.

Lucy began to reminisce on how they met. It was her second week of school and she still only had one friend Levy. It was fine, she really only needed one. The teacher called for a group project and wanted everyone in groups of four. Lucy figured that she would just join Levy, Jet, and Droy, that is until the teacher decided that she would assign the groups. Lucy still remembers the groups that the teacher had called out.

"Levy, Gajeel, Cana, and Kiana"

"Jellal, Mira, Laxus, and Bickslow"

"Freed, Reedus, Evergreen, and Mest"

"Natsu, Lucy, Gray, and Erza"

Immediately Natsu and Gray jumped out of the chair and yelled out, "WHY WITH HIM?"

After being scolded by Erza the quietly shrank back down into their seat. Afterward, the teacher gave them time to sit down and begin working on their projects.

"So who's this Lucy chick anyway?" Natsu said scanning the class.

"I sit right next to you, flame brain!" Lucy said in a tone harsher than she had meant.

"Chill dude, I thought your name was Luigi or something like that," Natsu said smiling.

They did not get a lot of work done the rest of the day and decided that they would have to meet up at Natsu's house later that day to get work done. Levy had come up to her at the end of class and apologized saying that her schedule got changed and that she could not sit with Lucy for lunch because she had library aid for the rest of the semester. Lucy smiled and said it was alright but could not help but to feel if she was back at square one, lonely girl with no friends.

When she walked into the courtyard for lunch, Natsu immediately called her over to come sit with him. When Lucy asked why he invited her, he merely smiled and said

"Were friends right?"

"Right."

~

Later that day when she got into the car of the Hearfilia driver, she told him to take her to Natsu's house instead of her own.

"Has my lady finally made friends?" the driver asked raising an eyebrow.

"Kinda," Lucy said, "we're just doing a project is all."

She got to his house at the same time as Erza and Gray. Erza reached over to ring the doorbell and then they waited in silence for a few moments. After a couple of seconds, a boy with jet black hair and piercing black eyes opened the door. Lucy began to panic as she thought that they had all mistakenly gone to the wrong place

until Gray said, "Hey Zeref, is Natsu home?"

Zeref sighed and opened the door to let them into the living room. "That idiot just ran off to the store with Wendy. He'll be back in about ten minutes. You can wait

here I guess."

"Zeref? Whose here? Some of Natsu's friends?" a girl's voice called.

"Something like that," Zeref called back.

Lucy went over to the source of the voice and saw a girl with blonde hair laying on the couch holding a video game controller. Instantly Lucy recognized her.

"Ha you didn't pause the game and now I am way ahead of you," the girl said smiling.

"You need all the head start you can get," Zeref said sitting down and picking up the other controller.

"You're Mavis Vermillion!" Lucy exclaimed. "As in, the valedictorian of your grade and captain of the volleyball team with a full ride to all the top colleges?

Friends with Yuri, Precht, and Warrod? You're practically perfect!"

Mavis smiled, "I am nowhere near perfect and a lot of those rumors are just exaggerations anyway."

Suddenly the door to the garage opened and Natsu burst inside.

"I'm back! And I bought supplies to help us complete our project! Oh, hey Mavis!"

A young girl came in the door behind Natsu helping him bring in some of the supplies.

"Oh Lucy, this is my cousin Wendy who lives with us while her mother is working in another country," Natsu said introducing them.

"Nice to meet you!" Wendy said smiling.

That memory of working together all night on a project was one of Lucy's favorites. For the first time ever, she had learned what it was like to have friends. Lucy looked back down at the letter she was writing to her mom. She no longer felt nervous, just relaxed.

Thank you, Mom, for always calming me down. Even though you are not here, I know that you are watching me.

Love,

Lucy.

Lucy then fell asleep at her desk after signing her name.

Next

[goldrushenthusiast]

Which The Hunger Games characters :

1. Do you relate the most?

2. Do you think missunderstood by people?

3. Do you want to know better?

Please give reasons for your answers. And you can pick more than one character for each question.

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

1. Honestly probably Peeta

I’ve grown up with a lot of privilege, same with MOST (but not all) of my friends. Whenever I love someone I have the tendency to hold onto it no matter what. I have a great view of the world, and no matter how much I think I can I can’t really hold a grudge for the life of me. I take pictures of everything naturey, if I could paint I’d be doing it all the time, and in general I think we have very similar senses of humor and outlooks on life in general. Peeta and James Potter have been my top fictional character relations since probably early 2022 tbh.

2. Sejanus & Lucy Gray (this is influenced by Coriolanus HEAVILY)

One thing that’s interesting about these is that while people call Katniss an unreliable narrator (she really isn’t tbh, you get that with a lot of first person POVS), Coriolanus is really the one not to be trusted. Every word in that book, even thought it’s from a third person POV, is stained by his mind. It makes it hard separating characters true personalities in it because they’re so diluted by what Coriolanus wants them to be. Dialogue is the most important part of it, but just the dialogue itself. I don’t think we can trust Coriolanus much after.

For one- Coriolanus sees Sejanus as a bit dumb, like he doesn’t know everything he does but it’s not ignorant, just dumb and not smart enough to realize it. This is because of Coriolanus’ idea that he’s smarter than everyone, so he automatically thinks people who don’t think the same as he does are dumb. It’s condescending and even if he doesn’t notice it, it’s still there. When he’s confronted with the idea it might not be true (Lucy Gray winning, all of her deep discussions) his mind goes through hoops trying to explain it. His bigoted attitude towards district people is HUGE. He automatically thinks that they’re (including Sejanus and Lucy Gray) are less smart than him.

This leads to him treating them as such and seeing through that veil. There are a couple of times where we see Sejanus has a personality beyond pity and self wallowing, where he makes sarcastic remarks & acts like a complicated person. I’ll try not to let my own interpretation of Sejanus reflect too much here because I don’t have much to support it.

As a reader, naturally, we see characters how we remember them, and we remember them based on what’s memorable ABOUT them. You remember Sejanus for what Coriolanus calls “outbursts” or tantrums, so you begin to associate him with those childlike emotions and the idea that he doesn’t really understand what he’s getting into.

It’s why I see this idea - that he’s just a poor baby, who just wants to help - so much from people who’ve only read the books <3 times or so. They don’t remember his under the breath comments and things like that, or the way Coriolanus describes him. IMO, for the most part, Sejanus DOES know what he’s doing (most of the time), just doesn’t think it through entirely. I’ve seen too many people portray him like a himbo, or an idiot, which ISNT TRUE. At all. They only do it because Coriolanus still associates Sejanus with his 8 year old child self and because Coriolanus sees him as lesser, and dumber, which go hand in hand for him.

That was way more than I was planning to write- oops! But the physiological aspects of how we see characters and what affects that is fascinating.

Now, Lucy Gray. Because we see her in a more romantic way, because Coriolanus does, we see her differently, because Coriolanus sees all forms of love (minus obligatory things, like family) the same (I could talk about this FOREVER).

Coriolanus sees Lucy Gray as something he can control and own. Obviously, she isn’t. He also sees her as a bit helpless and needy, which again, she isn’t. She’s been providing for her family since she was 12 (approx). It’s easy to assume she’s very strong, and she handles things well.

Now, the thing with Lucy Gray is that a lot of people think that she never loved Coriolanus, she was just using him, and I get where that comes in. However, I disagree. I think that’s the MAIN off characterization. She was not stone cold and unfeeling, nor was she some badass.

Lucy Gray’s character I actually change my mind about a LOT, because that’s exactly what she does to people. That’s what she’s SUPPOSED to do. It was how she written. She’s an amazing actor, and everything she does (although not on the first read), we start to question. This goes back into our view as a reader & how we characterize characters. She’s memorable because we saw her as Coriolanus did (someone to be helped, with a sad past, and someone attractive), then that view switched. During the first half of part 2, we started to see her come out of her shell and be more fun & rebellious. She still was in part 1, don’t get me wrong, but because Coriolanus didn’t seem to register that as much neither do we, or at least we don’t get the full extent of it until part 2.

In the first half of part 2, because of the shows and the hanging tree, we get more clues as to who she actually is. I think that part 2 is where we really have to consider her personality because it’s 10x as likely she isn’t acting anymore. We also see her past with Billy Taupe, which provides just the right opportunity for Coriolanus (and therefore us) to continue seeing her as someone who needs protection and has ownership.

This is good (ofc not really GOOD, but you get the point), because it really lets us experience the full extent of the SHOCK (the first time reading it) when Lucy Gray betrays him. I’ve already talked lots about why they betrayed each OTHER, and how it made perfect sense for each character, so if you’re interested it’s somewhere on @balladofmyramblings. It’s the one about people getting wrong why the ending was perfect.

As I’ve said before, Lucy Gray values TRUST. It’s why she does go to Coriolanus for comfort after he shoots Mayfair, and why she turns to him. It’s not about needing him, it’s about the fact that now that she’s out of the arena and can trust him & she doesn’t think he’ll hurt her, she can actually trust him. It’s why I think that she truly loved him. Remember, Coriolanus is also affected by his view of himself. We’re annoyed with him and know he doesn’t view Lucy Gray well because we know him. But he’s a good actor, and it’s vibes that Lucy Gray must go off of. Their purest stage of their relationship was during the first half of part 2 for sure.

I’d also like to mention Lucy Gray just got out of a toxic, probably abusive, heart wrenching relationship so it makes sense she’s LOOKING for more protection in a partner, even if she doesn’t exactly need to be protected (or owned especially).

Anywho, TLDR, people think that Lucy Gray was more cold and calculated than she was or (but I didn’t touch on this because I haven’t seen it much) not at all. Truth is, she’s a mix of both, and does find comfort in Coriolanus & eventually betrays him in a cold and calculated way.

3. Tigris!

I’d love to see Coriolanus’ rise to power through HER eyes, and know her story, and all that she did. She’s a very interesting character and I’m glad Suzanne made her Coriolanus’ cousin instead of some stranger- it was genius.

Thank you for the question, @curiousnonny, and as always feel free to debate but not argue with me in the reblogs/replies!

[krash-and-co]

ok before we start a war, know that an "unreliable narrator" is someone who actually misleads you and tells the story falsely, whether in purpose or by accident (but messes with the whole meaning!!) not just a person with opinions influencing their views. that's a bias. and that's in most, if not all, first person stories. that's human!!

unreliable narration is an actual literary term and it may cause some confusion between the people using it as such and the people using it as the the meaning of the word unreliable, like an adjective to describe the narrator rather than a real term.

I think the word we're looking for here is biased, especially when we discuss Lucy's high opinions of lockwood. since she has a crush, she will see him as better than he is. yes, that's a bit of an unreliable description, but not unreliable narration entirely, as that is a literary term that's (I think) talking about the full text. the whole story is certainly not narrated unreliably. so two different things. :D

also want to mention that I don't think Lucy is seeing lockwood wildly wrong either, I think it's just around teg where she's trying to look past the fact that he's acting suicidal. and that's no secret that she's trying not to see it. also her descriptions of him as super hot are probably upped from whats in reality because, you know, the crush, but I don't think its too much of a LIE at all, just Like A Person With A Crush. I think stroud had no intention of tricking us.

take pjo for example. you could argue that Percy was seeing Annabeth as prettier than she really was the first time, perhaps her princess curls weren't really princess curls after all and it was his crush. (pjo fans don't hate me just go with it) you could say that, but would you argue that Percy was an unreliable narrator? he says some things that are UNRELIABLE, I guess, but he's not an actual unreliable narrator as that's a different thing! not just an ADJECTIVE to describe a narrator!

you could do this with almost any story, and they're not all unreliable narrators! every human has a bias, an opinion, that influences the way they see the world. there’s no one right answer even in real life, but that doesn’t mean everyone is an unreliable narrator by definition.

hope this helps, as earlier I was confused about the same thing. :D also if I'm wrong about unreliable narration feel free to correct me in the comments, as I just woke up and have no clue what I just wrote. gmornin yall I am still asleep and probably just made a huge fool of myself typing this lol (also if I sound rude I am so sorry jfjfjf)

[pennyserenade]

Hello! Hope you’re doing well!! I’m not sure you’d like followers to respond to/ interact with your posts w your thoughts in the tags but I just wanted to say that I totally agree w your thoughts on Coryo and Sejanus LOL. Im v surprised (tho I guess I shouldn’t be given how old I am at this point + the no. of fandoms I’ve been in) that people can read them so differently from the novel. Coryo is an unreliable narrator and that makes it kind of fun to read because his pov shouldn’t always be taken as the truth. In fact I think it’s fun to read how differently his peers view him/ his r/s w other people vs what he himself perceives. Sejanus is such a nice, sweet boy and it’s kinda sad that other people don’t read him that way just because the book is filtered through coryo’s thoughts haha. He’s kind and dares to stand up for what he believes in… I think the saddest thing abt his story is that he was genuinely trying to help others directly but unfortunately the people he spoke to weren’t the most honest/ dependable (I don’t think the stuff with the rebels would have gone down well) and he also trusted Coryo (I don’t blame him cause Coryo was the only “nice” person in the Capitol) 😭 I suppose that’s also how difficult it is to deal w people sometimes IRL (in extreme situations). Anyway ya just wanted to share my thoughts :x feel free to ignore if this isn’t something you’re ok with!!

hi nonie! i'm absolutely okay with followers interacting with my tags and posts/coming to talk about this stuff with me! as you can probably tell i've got a lot to say about this stuff - i'm just a chronic in the tag poster lol.

because suzanne collins wrote the ballad of songbirds and snakes in a third person point of view, i think that readers have taken to assuming that what they're getting is an unbiased narrator, when in fact we are still very much getting a biased point of view from coriolanus. sure, we are distanced from his thoughts--not exactly seeing things through his eyes as we did with katniss--but that doesn't mean we don't have access to him and that his thoughts aren't distorting what we are seeing. i've thought a lot about the reasons suzanne collins might've chosen to use third person pov when she used a first person pov for the rest of the novels, and i don't think there was one definite reason. some of the brilliance of suzanne collins' writing lies in the fact that you do have derive these meanings for yourself at times. personally, i like to think that she chose to use third person pov because this story, while very much coriolanus-centric, belonged to characters like sejanus plinth and lucy gray, too.

the fact that this book came out during the trump's presidency isn't at all lost on me. i think what suzanne collins was saying was: look how badly this system failed this once privileged white boy. for all intents and purposes this should make him angry, and here are these district kids who have suffered just as he has. he can relate more to them than he can to any of his capital peers. he knows what it is to hunger and suffer and fight for your life every day, to be made to perform. when coriolanus turns his back on sejanus plinth and lucy gray baird, it is so tragic because he was meant to side with them and yet at the end of the day he turned his back on them because he wanted to be with 'his people.' he upheld this system that had so failed him because he thought people like lucy gray and sejanus plinth were primitive and less than because that's the mindless shit he had been fed his entire life. this is exactly what happened during that election. i've seen countless white people, who are every bit as poor and destitute as the immigrants that seek to come to this country for help -- if not more -- turn their back on them and support trump. even the poorest of whites think they are better than the richest of latinos or black people because this what their systems teach them, and it makes them feel good to think that.

i think that's why sejanus was district 2 turned capital. i believe that this was commentary on how, no matter how far poc and/or immigrants come, these white people will always view them as less than and that the system will never be forgiving of them. i do genuinely believe that coriolanus thought that sejanus' parents would save him in the end, and the fact that they couldn't was so shocking because he had, up until that point, seen the ways wealth had benefited plinth. he could not conceptualize a world where wealth wouldn't get a person what they wanted because he did not know what it was to be district. they did not see sejanus plinth, heir to the plinth fortune. they saw a district rat, a nameless, faceless traitor to kill. it is no surprise that coriolanus snow climbed to the top on the back of sejanus plinth tragic ending, because that's simply what happens every day.

i do understand and don't absolutely hate the conversations people have surrounding sejanus' privilege and what he chose to do with it/ what he chose not to do, but i think to consider sejanus an annoying, selfish character is erroneous. he was a boy who knew that this system would never favor him and was trying his best to envision a world where it might, and yes he did make stupid rash decisions, but at the end of the day what killed him was coriolanus snow and snow's desire for power. sejanus plinth was not stupid for trusting coriolanus snow, either; coriolanus snow was evil for betraying the boy's trust for his own self-serving agenda.

it is hard to live in a world like this. even as a white woman with a mexican father, i have have had to experience the kind of things sejanus did with people talking poorly about him and his family behind his back, and openly to his face. i am not accepted by either side and never will be, just as he wasn't. i will say i do experience immense privilege because of the color of my skin, and i won't ever pretend that i don't know that, but that's what i'm talking about: no matter how much i look like them, and act like them, i will always be a mexican's daughter and i am happy about that fact. i am mexican as much as i am white but it doesn't make the fight i have to struggle because of it any more fun.

[vickyvicarious]

Re: the more clinical description of lips and teeth, do we see the same switching around Mina's lips and teeth in October?

(my first post about it)

Oooh, good question. Well, 3 October is a big day for it. Mostly with Dracula though, from various characters:

He came up to the window in the mist, as I had seen him often before; but he was solid then—not a ghost, and his eyes were fierce like a man's when angry. He was laughing with his red mouth; the sharp white teeth glinted in the moonlight when he turned to look back over the belt of trees, to where the dogs were barking.

Renfield

His eyes flamed red with devilish passion; the great nostrils of the white aquiline nose opened wide and quivered at the edge; and the white sharp teeth, behind the full lips of the blood-dripping mouth, champed together like those of a wild beast. [...] As the Count saw us, a horrible sort of snarl passed over his face, showing the eye-teeth long and pointed; but the evil smile as quickly passed into a cold stare of lion-like disdain. His expression again changed as, with a single impulse, we all advanced upon him.

Jack

I knew him at once from the description of the others. The waxen face; the high aquiline nose, on which the light fell in a thin white line; the parted red lips, with the sharp white teeth showing between; and the red eyes that I had seemed to see in the sunset on the windows of St. Mary's Church at Whitby. I knew, too, the red scar on his forehead where Jonathan had struck him.

Mina

But then we get Jonathan's narration, and he does it a little bit to describe Mina:

Mina took a growing interest in everything and I was rejoiced to see that the exigency of affairs was helping her to forget for a time the terrible experience of the night. She was very, very pale—almost ghastly, and so thin that her lips were drawn away, showing her teeth in somewhat of prominence. I did not mention this last, lest it should give her needless pain; but it made my blood run cold in my veins to think of what had occurred with poor Lucy when the Count had sucked her blood. As yet there was no sign of the teeth growing sharper; but the time as yet was short, and there was time for fear.

Just briefly, for a second.

However, I think that's the only time it happens for her! Jonathan doesn't do it again. The only other time he describes her mouth is 5 October:

Mina is sleeping now, calmly and sweetly like a little child. Her lips are curved and her face beams with happiness.

Also, on 4 October, van Helsing avoids it for Mina:

"I can see the characteristics of the vampire coming in her face. It is now but very, very slight; but it is to be seen if we have eyes to notice without to prejudge. Her teeth are some sharper, and at times her eyes are more hard."

But on 5 November he sort of does it for the vampire ladies:

"Then they began to materialise till—if God have not take away my reason, for I saw it through my eyes—there were before me in actual flesh the same three women that Jonathan saw in the room, when they would have kissed his throat. I knew the swaying round forms, the bright hard eyes, the white teeth, the ruddy colour, the voluptuous lips."

I know this isn't what you asked, but as long as I was looking... I found several more instances of this happening with Lucy as well, including what seems like a trend almost of Jack starting to key in to her more vampiric moments over time.

On 18 September, only briefly:

Whilst asleep she looked stronger, although more haggard, and her breathing was softer; her open mouth showed the pale gums drawn back from the teeth, which thus looked positively longer and sharper than usual; when she woke the softness of her eyes evidently changed the expression, for she looked her own self, although a dying one.

Then as she is dying on the 20th it happens more, and specifically in multiple instances when she was more vampiric:

Lucy was breathing somewhat stertorously, and her face was at its worst, for the open mouth showed the pale gums. Her teeth, in the dim, uncertain light, seemed longer and sharper than they had been in the morning. In particular, by some trick of the light, the canine teeth looked longer and sharper than the rest. I sat down by her, and presently she moved uneasily. [...] And then insensibly there came the strange change which I had noticed in the night. Her breathing grew stertorous, the mouth opened, and the pale gums, drawn back, made the teeth look longer and sharper than ever. [...] I kept my eyes fixed on Lucy, as did Van Helsing, and we saw a spasm as of rage flit like a shadow over her face; the sharp teeth champed together. Then her eyes closed, and she breathed heavily.

When he visits her grave with van Helsing on the 27th he starts by talking about her emotionally then cutting off when he gets to her lips, and after that point doesn't describe her corpse with humanizing language at all for the rest of that entry:

She was, if possible, more radiantly beautiful than ever; and I could not believe that she was dead. The lips were red, nay redder than before; and on the cheeks was a delicate bloom. [...] "Are you convinced now?" said the Professor in response, and as he spoke he put over his hand, and in a way that made me shudder, pulled back the dead lips and showed the white teeth. "See," he went on, "see, they are even sharper than before. With this and this"—and he touched one of the canine teeth and that below it—" [...] He was looking intently at the face of the dead woman, raising the eyelids and looking at the eyes, and once more opening the lips and examining the teeth.

And by 29 September, after seeing her in action he speaks of her firmly as a thing, at least until Arthur has finished staking her:

Then she turned, and her face was shown in the clear burst of moonlight and by the lamp, which had now no quiver from Van Helsing's iron nerves. Never did I see such baffled malice on a face; and never, I trust, shall such ever be seen again by mortal eyes. The beautiful colour became livid, the eyes seemed to throw out sparks of hell-fire, the brows were wrinkled as though the folds of the flesh were the coils of Medusa's snakes, and the lovely, blood-stained mouth grew to an open square, as in the passion masks of the Greeks and Japanese. If ever a face meant death—if looks could kill—we saw it at that moment. [...] She seemed like a nightmare of Lucy as she lay there; the pointed teeth, the bloodstained, voluptuous mouth—which it made one shudder to see—the whole carnal and unspiritual appearance, seeming like a devilish mockery of Lucy's sweet purity. [...] The Thing in the coffin writhed; and a hideous, blood-curdling screech came from the opened red lips. The body shook and quivered and twisted in wild contortions; the sharp white teeth champed together till the lips were cut, and the mouth was smeared with a crimson foam. [...] And then the writhing and quivering of the body became less, and the teeth seemed to champ, and the face to quiver. Finally it lay still. [...] There, in the coffin lay no longer the foul Thing that we had so dreaded and grown to hate that the work of her destruction was yielded as a privilege to the one best entitled to it, but Lucy as we had seen her in her life, with her face of unequalled sweetness and purity.