#having gone to several meet and greets I saw them with their graphic novels & following sports on in between meeting people

[deansmom]

My favorite thing about Pete is that he is, and has always been, so unapologetically himself in the way that he presents himself to the public. Like yes, there’s some obvious self worth issues and self hatred in there but he’s always felt so genuine about it all. All four of them, really, but even when Pete somehow became this emo media darling he was still just a guy from Chicago who was decidedly uncool and like… so okay with that. I mean, he did a tour of his room at his parents house - embarrassing posters & toys and collectibles and all and I just.

I wish I was kidding when I say that Pete in particular was such a formative influence on who I am as a person. You can be yourself and not only be liked by other people, but achieve and then go beyond your wildest dreams. What a fucking concept.

I think that’s why so many people have never taken them seriously, because none of them have ever pretended to be more than they are. Being a nerd didn’t used to be cool, it wasn’t always socially acceptable, and we just had these four dorks from the Chicago suburbs running around in one of the most famous bands in the world being absolute fucking nerds.

I think that’s beautiful.

[denimwrites-archive]

J’s Ideas

A/N: So this is the original story I had to write for my high school English class. It’s written in the second person, but it isn’t a reader insert. It’s a mystery (kind of? idk how mysterious it really is). I am going to try and write more fanfiction during the fall semester since I don’t have any English classes, but I don’t really know how much time I’ll have with as a full time college student. I will try though. In the meantime have this thing that is months old.

Word Count: 4,720

~~~

It had been a hard night. Damn you, General What and your glorious adventures, you silently cursed. You just had to rewatch the whole series in anticipation for the new season that was premiering in two weeks. You trudged your way up the library stairs in muted excitement, not awake enough to start the day, but needing to anyway. Getting less than four hours sleep before your first day of volunteering for the summer wasn't the best idea, but you really wanted to finish the first season. The three books you were carrying didn't make it any easier, and you concentrated on not dropping them in your sleepy state.

Thankfully you made it up the steps with only a little wobbling, and as you stepped through the front door the hushed atmosphere greeted you. You took a deep breath, relishing the smell of the old books, new books, and the slight lavender scent of the long faded floor polish. You walked up to the return desk and set your books down, quickly greeting the librarian at the front desk, before moving towards the conference room where you were to have a brief orientation. You doubted there was going to be anything new, but it was mandatory whether you were a volunteer veteran, like yourself, or new to the library.

You walked in to see quite a few new faces. You didn't expect to see people you knew, but you also didn't think there would be so many. When you had volunteered in the past there was really only you and your friend, Thumper, but four faces greeted you as you made your way into the room. They looked at you expectantly and you hesitantly took a seat in the chair closest to you. They seemed surprised that you weren't telling them what to do and where to go, but you were used to being mistaken for someone who worked at the library. Your thick glasses and grown-up style gave others the impression that you were older than your seventeen years, and carrying books everywhere didn't help the stereotype of your appearance. Nor the fact that you were quite the regular at the library during the school year as well.

You twiddled your thumbs as you looked around and waited for Mary to come and give the tour of the library and explain your schedules. You saw two of the kids on the other side of the table whispering and every once and awhile they would exclaim something and laugh. Just as you were about to get up and look for her, Mary appeared and apologized for being late, with a signature mug in hand. "That coffee machine needs a serious tune up," she joked holding up the mug with the saying Coffee!!! Because crack isn't allowed at work.

"Okay, so let's get started! I see we have quite a few new faces this year, don't we Bambie?" Mary said turning to you with a big smile, you nodded and glanced at the other kids with an awkward smile. "Yes, well the more the merrier! So let's introduce ourselves, shall we? I'm Mary Mendoza, the head of the Young Adult section, which is my favorite genre to read. And my favorite color is red. Bambie, you next."

You took a deep breath before saying, "My name is Bambie Watts. Yes, like the Disney movie. I've volunteered at the library over the summer for the past 3 years, and I love science-fiction and fantasy books. Purple is my favorite color."

"Okay, next?" Mary asked, and so the introductions went.

"My name is Angela Moritz, this is for my community service hours. Um, I'm not really a book person, but I like manga, which I guess qualifies for a graphic novel? And my favorite color is green."

"Hi, I'm June Lark. I love poetry, especially Emily Dickinson and Katheryn Nicolas, and my favorite color is pink." It really must be, you thought as you noticed her entire outfit was different shades of the pigment. She was covered in frilly bows and had a sweater tied around her shoulders with her long golden hair pulled up in a tight ponytail.

"James Scott. I'm here because I have nowhere else to be. I like sci-fi and magical stuff. I guess my favorite color is blue? I don't really think about it that much," the boy shrugged. He looked slightly bored, but that was justified given the situation. He had shaggy hair and the chair seemed too big for his wiry frame.

"The name's Jones, Ash Jones," the last person began their introduction. Your interest was piqued and you studied the freckled person. "I'll read pretty much anything, but I like fiction and poetry best. And all colors are pretty cool, so I'll say my favorite is the rainbow," they said with a wink and ruffle of their short red hair. "Oh, and I use they/them pronouns."

"Well, it's lovely to meet you all. I hope you all will get to know each other better over the course of the next several weeks and that you all have fun! Now, I'll take you all on a brief little tour and explain a few of the things you may be assigned to do. If you'll follow me, please?" Mary walked out of the room and the ragtag group followed her lead. You hung towards the back, already knowing the library like the back of your hand. You trailed after the party as they moved through the first floor and its movie section and children's area, and as they made their way upstairs you couldn't help but notice their reactions to the decorations in the YA section.

You had helped make them last year with Thumper. That wasn't really her name, but it stuck when you two became inseparable. You had worked for weeks on the swarms of butterflies that hung from the ceiling and the literal bird nests of your favorite series and authors. You tuned back into the tour when you heard Mary say your name, "Bambie and Thumper did a tremendous job, didn't they? I hope we can add to their project this year with quote posters and more."

"'Thumper'? Is she your sister?" you heard June ask.

"No," you responded, "my best friend. She moved to the other side of the country at the end of the summer last year. She was energetic, excitable, and we always hung out, like the bunny, and so the nickname stuck," you shrugged.

"That's cool. Maybe I could help you make a fake tree for there to be like a beehive or something about what 'the buzz' is at the library," June said with a smile. You smiled back and nodded enthusiastically, the thoughts of the new project already filling your mind. Mary beckoned the others to follow her to the reference section, but you hung back, looking over your work from the previous year. You remembered getting covered in paint, and coming in on Saturdays to make sure everything was ready before Thump moved.

You wandered the stacks of books, eventually finding yourself in front of your favorite series. You pulled out the first book and flipped through it, reminiscing the first time you read it when you happened upon a folded slip of paper. Confused, you grabbed it and opened it to reveal a block of text. Quickly scanning the page you notice a large "J" signed at the bottom. You notice Mary waving at you and motions that they're heading back downstairs. Nodding, you place the paper in your pocket and follow the group back to the first floor.

"Well, I hope you all enjoyed the tour. I'm sure you all are going to be a big help this summer. Now, I want you all to follow me behind the front desk. You can choose from sorting books into their sections and putting them on a cart, or taking the carts with books already sorted and returning them to the shelves. I'll let you all decide amongst yourselves, and if you need me I'll be in my office upstairs." And then Mary was gone. You looked at the others, standing in awkward silence, until you decided to speak up.

"I'll sort the returned books, I've gotten pretty good at it over the last couple years. You guys can choose who goes to which section to reshelve them yourselves. But I recommend you don't pick a section you like if you're a big reader, cause you can get lost in the titles." You said, in a slightly teasing manner. You weren't really kidding though, the first day you reshelved books it took you over two hours to get through a cart because you kept finding interesting stories and taking "breaks" to read them. Soon enough you were ready to check out half the cart.

You turned away from the group and got started putting books into different piles by genre, and when you turned around to grab a cart you found yourself alone. Taking a breath, you started with the genre with the most books and started placing them in the cart alphabetically by author. June and James came back for their next stacks soon enough and you were pretty much done with the current pile by lunch. Ash still hadn't come back for more books, so you wandered around the library until you found them in the YA section leant against the back of a bookcase, their cart forgotten, with books strewn about the carpet around them.

You couldn't help but smile at the engrossed look their face held. You glanced at the title of the book to see that it was one of your favorites. You were unsure if you should say something, so you tried to take the cart without disturbing their reading, but Ash's head snapped up the second your hand touched the dolly, You flushed slightly under their gaze, but retracted your hand nonetheless.

"I didn't want to interrupt your reading. That's one of my favorites," you pointed to the book in their hands,"so I know how hard it is to put down. The author didn't continue the series due to lack of feedback, so they moved on to other, more cliché ideas just so they could pay the bills. It's a shame."

"No way! This book is awesome, the characters are so unique and the fact that it has so much representation is really refreshing. The action is equally balanced with the romance, and the fact that the romance isn't even the main point and can be taken as a platonic thing is really cool. Plus the way it puts you in all of the characters' shoes and really lets you see how hard it is to be that minority is so interesting," Ash gushed. You smiled even more upon hearing their excited review. "How did this not get attention?"

"I think it was just too ahead of its time." You glanced at how far they'd gotten and realized that they were close to the best part of the book. "I'm glad you're liking it, but the best part is coming up, so I'll leave you to it. I can finish your stack, and then we can go get lunch with the others. It's tradition to go to the McDonwalds down the street for your first day."

Ash thanked you and quickly stuffed their nose back into the book. You grabbed their cart and was able to return the titles in no time, knowing the YA section like the back of your hand. When you returned you saw that Ash had made a pile of the previously strewn about books, with your favorite on top. "Is there somewhere I can put these so no one takes them?" Ash asked as you approached.

"Yeah. Mary would be okay if you kept them in her office, just make sure to put a sticky note on them to let her know you're the one who wants to check them out." You helped Ash carry their books to Mary's office and waited as they filled out a note and placed it on top. Then you two walked downstairs to see the others in your group waiting with Mary.

She looked at you excitedly and exclaimed, "Time for McDonwalds!" before bouncing out of the library. You chuckled at Mary's actions and followed as the others traipsed after her. You all ordered and ate lunch, discussing how your first day had gone so far. Mary talked about her days of volunteering and how it had led her to get her Master's in library science and put you into the position of explaining how that was your plan as well.

Soon enough, it was time to get back to work and you couldn't wait to get back to the ritualistic returns. You decided to show Angela your process of sorting books, and the most efficient way you'd found to do book returns was taking the extra step of sorting the authors on the cart rather than having the reshelver run throughout a section looking for the right place. She took to it quickly and so you moved upstairs and helped one of the other librarians put reference books away.

The day soon ends and you return to the first floor for the end of the day meeting. It's nothing special, the conference is pretty much a runthrough of what happened that day and what needs to be done in the morning before the official opening. You had to go in early a couple times last summer, but you don't think you'll have to come in early with all the extra help this year. You nod to Mary on your way out. She has her regular end of the day coffee in hand, with another funny mug with the saying Dear Naps I'm Sorry I was A Jerk to You As a Kid. As you make your way home, you remember the note you stuffed into your pocket.

You take it out and read the slanting script. The ink is smudged to the left and as you scan the lines you can tell that whoever wrote it was good. Even though it was barely two paragraphs, the characters seemed to come to life. It left you wanting more. You saw the 'J' at the bottom of the page again and you could tell you wouldn't let this go until you found this mysterious 'J' character.

The rest of the week wasn't very eventful, the books came and went, the note still on your mind. But Friday brought an unexpected surprise. You went to return books in the YA section and had gotten one of your favorite sections, science-fiction. You got to work and couldn't help but remark to yourself about the selections. They were all good choices, some you had even been meaning to read yourself. You flipped through one of the newer releases and were surprised to see a slip of paper. You quickly read it and realized that it was the same 'J' as in the last note. You glanced at the cart suspiciously. Could it hold more of these intriguing pieces?

You found your answer as you quickly made your way through the books, flipping through their many pages, hoping to find more of the secret author. Your quest was rewarded as you found six more notes. You decided to put the books aside to look at further when you took your break.

Twenty minutes later you were at the front desk's computer looking up the titles of the stories that the papers were found in. You saw that the last person to check out each of the books were different. You slumped in your seat, puzzled by this new development. You furrowed your brow and bit your thumb, lost in thought, until Angela came up behind you to ask what you were doing. You were unsure of how much to tell her, but you decided to just come out with what you had discovered.

"I found these notes in a few different books and I wanted to see if there was a connection in the people who last checked the books out. Unfortunately, no dice."

"Wait, were they signed with a 'J'?" Angela asked.

"Yeah. How did you know?" you asked curiously.

"When I was reshelving the poetry section I found a whole bunch in the classic collection book when I had to move it to make room for the other books," Angela shrugged slightly, "I left them up on the shelf just in case someone just forgot they put them there."

You got up and made your way up to the poetry section and quickly found the stack of notes Angela had discovered. You scanned them and noticed that these weren't original ideas, but quoted passages, with the author's name where the 'J' would usually be. You could tell it was the same person by the familiar handwriting style and smudges.

You collected the notes and put them in your pocket, intending to look at them further over lunch. But a school trip visit to the library prevented you from doing so, and you had to wait until you got home that night. You read over the passages and saw that they were all from the same author. You looked up a few of their books and vowed to take a closer look at their poetry on Monday when you returned to the library.

A 'ping' drew you from your thoughts as you realized that Thumper sent you a message. You hadn't had found time to message her this week, and were happy to hear from her.

ThumperIsNotMyName: How'd your first week go? Any new people?

BambieWattsIsMine: Good. Four new helpers. What have you been up to?

ThumperIsNotMyName: Not much. The library out here doesn't have a volunteer program :(

BambieWattsIsMine: Why not?

ThumperIsNotMyName: Cause a few people ended up stealing some expensive reference books so now it's ruined for everyone.

BambieWattsIsMine: That sucks! :/

ThumperIsNotMyName: Yeah. They won't even let me design some decorations for the YA section. It looks like a prison library it's so drab!

BambieWattsIsMine: Well what about volunteering at the park like you wanted to do last year?

ThumperIsNotMyName: I thought about that, but they don't take volunteers either. Too many people were just hanging out and not doing anything.

BambieWattsIsMine: Well it looks like your summer's a bust lol

ThumperIsNotMyName: Thanks. Tell me about what's happening there. Let me live vicariously through you.

BambieWattsIsMine: Well one of the new people wants to build off of your nature themed YA section. She wants to add a tree and a beehive of what's "buzzing" at the library.

ThumperIsNotMyName: That sounds cool! I wish I was there to help.

BambieWattsIsMine: That's not the best part though! I found these notes in the sci-fi section, and then more popped up in the poetry section. The writing is awesome, and they keep quoting Katheryn Nicolas.

ThumperIsNotMyName: WHAT? I LEAVE FOR ONE YEAR AND YOU GET A MYSTERY? NOT FAIR!!! >:(

BambieWattsIsMine: Chill Thumps! It's not that cool, especially since I've kind of hit a brick wall. I looked at the books' checkout history and there was no connection, plus no one had checked them out in the past two weeks.

ThumperIsNotMyName: Well... one of the volunteers could have borrowed them for the night. You know how lax Mary is when it comes to booklovers who help out at the library and checkout policy.

BambieWattsIsMine: Hmmm. You've got a point.

ThumperIsNotMyName: You know I do. What are the notes about?

BambieWattsIsMine: Mostly just drabbles of fiction which are all signed with a 'J' and poetry.

ThumperIsNotMyName: Any of the volunteers have an initial starting with 'J'?

BambieWattsIsMine: OMG THREE OF THEM DO

ThumperIsNotMyName: Elementary, my dear Watts-on. ;)

BambieWattsIsMine: Thump, you're the best! (Nice pun btw)

ThumperIsNotMyName: Thank you. Any other information that my genius brain could connect?

BambieWattsIsMine: Um, they're left handed? And their writing can get kind of graphic? But not in like a violent way, like in a theoretical sense. One character they like to write about continuously goes 'too far' with their ideas which makes it funny, you know? I don't know how any of that helps, but what do you make of it Detective Thumper?

ThumperIsNotMyName: Well... Lots of recent sci-fi is like post-apocalyptic. What if they're reading all of those stories to plan the end of the world? Like they're seeing the common ways the world ends in literature so that they can have any kind of plan. And that character you keep seeing is the voice that's telling them to prepare? That would be messed up O.O

BambieWattsIsMine: I kind of doubt that because the passages they quote from Katheryn Nicolas are all about romance and love, and the books I found the notes in are all pretty romantic as well. Plus it's fiction, so I doubt they'd believe the books are a guide.

ThumperIsNotMyName: You never know! Aliens are also a pretty common sci-fi trope. Maybe they want to be abducted and so they're looking for the best way to 'woo' an alien 👽

BambieWattsIsMine: THUMP! Take this seriously!

ThumperIsNotMyName: Well, you're supposed to be the detective in this story! I already gave you a hint, so figure the rest out yourself. I have to go eat dinner. I want an update by Tuesday!

BambieWattsIsMine: Will do, Thump. And thanks for the help.

Monday comes and you are ready to find this elusive 'J'. The first thing you do when you enter the library is go to the poetry section and find Katheryn Nicolas. You grab the single book left on the shelf and make your way back to the sorting room to grab a cart. Every spare minute of the day is spent with your nose in the book. You were even reading during lunch, which isn't that special, but James decided to sit with you so you felt compelled to converse with him.

It was then that you remembered that James' favorite genre was sci-fi. Maybe he was lonely and liked the space romances where the guy always got the girl? He was geeky enough that he probably didn't have a girlfriend. He didn't seem the type to read poetry, but you didn't know for sure and you weren't one to judge a book by its cover. You tried to turn the discussion towards books, but he did it for you, commenting on your author choice.

"So you like Nicolas, huh? I'm more of a Rothenberg guy myself. I always thought that Nicolas' style was a little too mushy for me," James said. "I like the action and deep messages Rothenberg has. Nicolas seems to only be obsessed with romance and 'wooing the girl'." He scoffs, and upon seeing my blank face backtracks saying, "There's nothing wrong with that kind of story, I mean, to each their own, it's just not the type of stuff I like." He flushes, embarrassed that he was rambling.

You had your reason that James wasn't the 'J' you were looking for. He could be lying about how he felt about Nicolas, but you don't think so. "To each their own. I'll have to try Rothenberg sometime," you said with a smile, realizing you were slowly narrowing down your suspects. You excused yourself and got up, deciding to put back the book after determining there were no real clues in its pages.

You spent the rest of the day sorting books for carts and talking to Mary who was trying to come up with a list of new choices for the YA section. You gave her the few you were looking forward to, but also said that she should ask the other volunteers to get better options. She nodded before taking a sip of her coffee, this mug saying Yeah? Well maybe coffee is addicted to me. Ever think of that??

At the end of the day meeting Mary brought up the list of new books and asked for others to give at least two titles that they were also looking forward to. She made notes while sipping coffee from yet another mug, this one stating I drink coffee for your protection. The volunteers' choices were especially paid attention to since the library was trying to make more teenagers interested in reading. Everyone gave at least two different genres, except for June. She only mentioned a new volume of poetry that was set to come out in July.

You decided to ask her about it tomorrow, and found your opportunity when she was reshelving in the poetry section the next morning. After pleasantries about how she liked volunteering and how her summer was going, you got to the reason why you wanted to talk to her.

"Hey, I wanted to ask you, why didn't you recommend any fiction books? I know you like poetry," you said while gesturing to the section, "but do you not read any other genre?"

"I've just never been able to really relate to fiction," June responded. "It just seems so out of the realm of possibility that it makes it hard for me to immerse myself in the story. Even realistic fiction is hard for me because life isn't a book. It doesn't have extraordinary coincidences or black and white heroes and villains like most stories do. I know that books are entertainment, but I like poetry because it entertains and opens a window to the past. You can see the world from a hundred years ago through someone else's eyes. And the language makes it even better. The authors choose the words with such care to create a rhythm that transcends boundaries."

From the way June described it, you could understand the appeal of prose, and you had your answer as to why she only talked about one book. "I never thought of it that way. I grew up with fantasy and it really inspired my imagination, so I guess I was closed off to more realistic forms of literature. I'll have to take a closer look at it sometime."

"My dad got me into poetry. He would read it to me every night, starting with Sheldon Bronze. Such a classic," she was smiling at the memory. You remembered hating Bronze due to his scary portrait that was on the back of all of his books. You just nodded before saying you should get back to work and that you would see her at lunch. She waved goodbye before going back to the task at hand.

It was then that you realized that you only had one suspect left. You looked around the library, looking for Ash, but could not find them anywhere. Eventually you found them where the book return counter connected to the sorting room.

You made your way to the counter and noticed that they were scribbling in a notebook with their left-hand. The side of their hand smeared with ink, smudges covering the page. You took in their furrowed brow as they wrote and couldn't help but realize how absorbed they were with what they were doing, pausing every so often to think of the right word to use.

Carefully approaching the counter you say, "What's up 'J'?"

Ash looks up at you with a surprised face, which quickly transforms into a smile. They set down their pen and close the notebook before giving their full attention to you. "I was wondering who had been finding my notes. When I heard Angela say she found the notes and just left them on the shelf I was kind of disappointed. But I'm glad someone appreciated them enough to find out who they were from."

"Are you kidding me? Your writing is amazing! The only reason I didn't find you sooner was because I had other stories to deal with," you joked.

"Thanks. Well, I should probably get back to the books," Ash jested back with a smirk.

"I'd love to read more of your writing if you'd let me, it was better than quite a few of the books we have."

"I don't think I'm that good, but I'd definitely let you read them. Are you any good at editing?"