#having a crisis on a sunday night… typical

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

sorry i’ve been quiet here lately. i’ve been working nonstop and this fuckass job is making me miserable <3 also i’m going insane because we haven’t had any summer weather and I literally need sunshine to survive

no time to rest, let alone write. but fear not, I have one (1 whole) day off coming up so hopefully i’ll get to writing a little then.

might do some more of your blurb requests, they’re short and sweet. if you’re waiting on a chapter update of something, i’m afraid i’m going to make you wait a little longer. sorry!!

I feel like so many people are in a slump at the moment. if you are, you’re not alone, i’m right there with you. if you ever want to send me an ask/slide into my inbox and just have a chat, ask questions, tell me about your days (especially if something good happened!) please do. love you

sorry for complaining!! I know you don’t come here for negativity. my apologies. not trying to kill the vibe <3

[moriartyluver]

FALSE LOVERS CHAPTER XXVII

"IVE ALWAYS WONDERED if this day would ever come. I'm sure that some of you have already heard of this.." Albert turned his head from the dark window to face the others, attempting to speak over the thunder outside "The situation has become extremely worrisome..this crisis is the first of its kind that the moriarty family has ever had to face."

Crack

Lightning had hit a tree outside, burning it to ashes dramatically. Rain poured down in typical British fashion, the windows foggy, covering the gloomy sky. 

"Let's work together in order to build strength." The brunette clenched his fist tightly, brows furrowed with determination as they all huddled together, hands upon hands. "we'll overcome this no matter what the cost..! Is everyone ready? All for one and One for All! Let's go!" 

The door creaked open mysteriously, pulling the attention of the men to the entrance. 

"Sorry we're late..what the hell..?!" Bonde had opened the door with (name) and Josephine stood behind him, bags in hands after they had just returned from a shopping trip 

"What on earth is going on?" (Name) asked, her eyebrow raised in suspicion. 

"Tea party...?" 

"That's right Bonde. As you know," Albert informed the trio who were stood in front of him "families hold tea parties on a rotational basis. Tea parties are often held in the day time, opposed to night parties. I've tried my best to hold it off but the other day, Earl Rockwell finally called me out.."

"It was about time," (Name) commented, sitting down with a sigh, legs folded over each other. "Frankly, I think we've been avoiding them for a while now." 

"I was reluctant, but I agreed to host the party at our manor this weekend." Albert added 

Josephine nodded "If the party is to be held on Sunday, we don't have much time to spare. We should get started on preparations as soon as possible, provided there aren't any obstacles in our way." 

"I have business to attend to on Sunday," (Name) said abruptly. 

"Care to elaborate?" Louis asked 

"I..erm.." she hesitated, looking for an excuse to not go to the tea party "I have a research project due in a few weeks for the university." 

"No you don't," William said, debunking her excuse. "I recall you saying you wished to spend Sunday reading-" 

There was a moments silence, all eyes on (Name) who suddenly found her shoes rather intriguing. She lifted her head with a groan "Fine, I don't want to host the tea party. Why on earth would I? All I'd do is have disturbing older men explain concepts of various natures which I am clearly more educated in, or worse, they'll flirt with me and treat me like they do a common harlot." 

"If she's not doing it then neither am I!" Moran exclaimed quickly. 

"(Name), you're attending the tea party just like the rest of us," Louis said sternly, turning to Moran. "We all are." 

"I don't want to," she folded her arms over her chest with a childish frown "You can't make me!" 

Albert sighed, glancing at William as if asking for help. He should've known having his brother marry a spoilt noblewoman wouldn't be easy, regardless of how in love with her he may have been. 

William nodded, scoring over to (Name) and leaning in to whisper into her ear as she listened attentively before sighing, speaking up reluctantly. 

"Fine, I'll do it." 

Albert blinked in surprise, curious as to what he said to make (Name) agree so easily. 

"Despite the whole fake marriage ordeal, many ladies still have been attempting to gain access to Will using various excuses." Albert spoke, continuing after the small issue.  "Such women will use the party as an excuse to approach him which means that you..!" He pointed to the (hair colour)-ette dramatically "Will have to keep them off, alright (name)?" 

"Roger that." She said, much more cooperative than before. 

William chuckled. "In that sense, you're also in danger Albert." 

"Of course I know how to deal with the ladies but when they gather in large groups..they gossip and become impossible to read.." all the men in the room shifted their eyes over to (name), who was still despairing over the thought of socialising against her will. 

"Huh...?" She murmured 

"You're the only one of us who'll be able to outsmart the ladies, (nickname), considering both the brat and moneypenny will be acting as maids." Sebastian said to the confused woman "So we'll need you to keep a close eye on them" 

"Shut your mouth," Josephine frowned in annoyance at Moran "I'm far more capable than you are..you'll probably just go drinking whilst the rest of us are working hard.." 

"Surely you wouldn't place such a grand burden upon only me," (name) said, returning to the point "you all know how difficult it is for me to socialise. I can't even read basic social cues half the time." 

"You'll be fine, (Name)." William placed a hand on hers reassuringly "We wouldn't choose you if we didn't think you were able." 

"The only reason you chose me for anything was because I'm handy with a knife." She said, revoking her hand "But if you insist, I suppose I could always try.." 

"Okay..let's go over our responsibilities one last time." Jack said, pulling out a small folded piece of paper from his breast pocket. He unfolded it, reading aloud from the list "As soon as young Al's toast is over, I will attend to the guests at the main venue."

"I mainly manage the party's progress" said Louis with a nod 

"And as head maid, Josephine and I will take charge of the maids to serve you." Moneypenny stated, adjusting her head piece. 

"I'll be in the garden, talking to a few of the guests while keeping a close eye on the more curious ladies." (Name) sighed. She wasn't a fan of tea parties. Ball room parties were usually much more entertaining, possibly because someone would usually somehow die during them but also because she was able to stand aside without any need to talk to anyone. Even at her own wedding, she refused to speak to any guests who weren't her family or close friends because she had gotten so fed up. 

"Our position is in the garden, William." Albert reminded the blond. 

William nodded, "Yes, brother. Let's monitor the situation and help each other in need." 

"I'm mainly here to protect you two." Spoke a butler-ified Moran. 

"I'll be in the rose garden and entertaining the guests there." Fred murmured, fidgeting with his gloves. 

"And I'm in charge of the guests in all areas of the manor." Bond grinned, too enthusiastically for (Name)'s liking. 

"That's right," Jack nodded "Bond is our so called 'Fighter', because a 'battle field' needs personnel who can respond quickly to unexpected situations." 

"Battle field..?" Fred repeated nervously. 

"It won't be that bad," Josephine reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder "Believe me, I've had a lot worse with (Name)..once she got carried away and murdered a man in one of the Marquis (Last Name)'s villas during a party, but in my lady's defence, he had deeply offended her with his remarks." 

"what did he say?" asked Fred in a mousey voice

Josephine chuckled nervously "let's just say, you can't insult the female sex without provoking (Name)."

"By the way," James said, changing the topic promptly "What's Herder doing?" 

"Ah, he's already in position," Moran explained. Herder was stuck in the basement, doing puzzles whilst listening out for guests who might find the weaponry. 

The instructor glaced around "Everyone is ready." He confirmed "It's time..!"

Not even a second later, the street outside the manor's gates were filled with carriages, full of noblewomen, their giggles echoing as they stepped out of their carriages  

(Name) flinched upon hearing all the loud noises coming from the ladies leaving their carriages. She noticed there were a few males amongst them but not nearly enough as the noblewomen. A ratio of about 1:8, she had observed, and all her comrades would be counting on her to navigate this all in the appropriate manner.

"Now that we're all here.." Albert started his little toast once all the fawning ladies had surrounded him whilst the young noblmen who were waiting for the toast to be over so they could instantly made a bee-line to the poor overwhelemed (Name)  "It's thanks to Lord Rockwell that we were all able to welcome you here today. As you can see there are many shy people in our family," he side eyed his sister-in-law, resembling her deceased brother for a moment "even standing up here is making me a bit nervous. Please take this as an opportunity to look at our rose garden. It has been blooming very well." 

Albert picked up a glass of champagne carefully and raised it as he ended his toast

"Last but not least, there are refreshments laid out for everyone to enjoy. Please take as much time as you'd like to talk to us," He lifted his glass higher "Well then..cheers!" 

Within seconds of the toast ending, both William and Albert were surrounded by multiple noblewomen. Of course, (name) hadn't had it any easier and was soon approached by multiple noblemen who were exited to converse with her. During her time in University, multiple peers were interested in her but disliked the idea of getting closer to her in fear that she, a woman with an education, would go against their ideals for such a lady, or rather their stereotypes.

How abhorent! A woman with the ability to think for herself!

She had a mysterious charm to some. Usually she would be seen with a blank look on her face, whilst other times, she concealed her ture nature with a polite yet deceiving smile. Although she was 'married' in the eyes of the law, it wouldn't hurt anyone if they merely converse with such an elegant lady.

"I had looked forward to talking to all of you, but I can't talk to any of you if you all are speaking at once.." Albert said, snapping (Name) out of her thoughts. "and I don't think a tea party is supposed to be like this. I was hoping we'd be more elegant and austere..." He trailed off, gently grabbing a lady, who stood beside him, by her chin, guding her gaze to his emerald eyes.

The noblewomen and noblemen had caught onto what Albert had meant and slowly dispersed, allowing others to take their time. Some had headed for the greenhouse, full of flowers that had been cultivated by none other than Fred, whilst others stuck around with the two brothers, batting their eyes and attempting to gain their attention. 

(Name) could only furrow a brow and sigh as she watched, quickly distracted by a young man whwo haad caught her attention with a question once it had all died down, far more unique than the ususal questions about her life in England, even if she had been living there for 8 years, or older men attempting to make her feel like an idiot. 

"My apologies if I am out of line, but what are your opinions on the recent Jack the Ripper case," a man with dark hair hair asked her. He seemed around her age, maybe a little younger, and had a polite smile which made his eyes crinkle slightly in the corners "You seem so knowledge on all subjects of conversation, not just superficial ones like most men may assume.." 

"Well, I as a sophisticated lady of polite society, could never be exposed to such tragedies, I have no knowledge of such a case," She jested, a smile on her lips "Although, I'd say the Yard are trying to cover it up with their recent list of suspects, surely nobody would believe that.." she said under her breath

"Yes, well," He took a glass of wine from a servant, swirling the drink in his glass, "I have a theory that the entire thing was a hoax to promote that Conan Doyle's next story."

"You read the Sherlock Holmes series?" (Name) laughed at his theory"That's interesting, I've actually made his aquaintance, we met on the Noahtic.. and a train to London, both times a murder had occured. He just seems to be riddled with bad luck, it must be something to do with his hair." 

"Is that why he covers it up with that dreadful cap?" the man asked with an amused tone 

(Name) shrugged her shoulders as she bit into a small cake, "Personally, I think he looks better in darker tones, and that cloak does him no justice whatsoever." She paused, realising she was actually having fun "I don't believe we've been formally introduced, dear stranger. Perhaps you could change that?" 

He took her left hand, kissing her knuckles over the silk glove she wore. "Lord Oliver Hastings, first grandson of the Duke of Hastings it's a pleasure to make your aquaintance, Lady Moriarty."

"I really shouldn't be surprised you already are familiar with my name," She smiled, a genuine smile at that 

"Well why wouldn't I? You are rather famous amongst the ton, after all, although, I first saw your name in a research paper you had published in your Almer Mater, Oxford ring any bells?" Oliver reciprocated the smile 

"I'm surprised anyone would read that, I was half asleep whilst I wrote it. Do you still study there?" She asked, her eyes drifting over to William, who stood in front of a group of ladies 

Oliver shook his head with a laugh "God no, do i really seem that naive? I graduated last year, personally, I was more fond of subjects which frequire critical thought rather than just making up numbers to solve, so I studied Literature and Philosophy mostly, but I made an exception for what you had to say in that little thesis of yours, and I must say, I've been dying to talk to you since." 

"Well consider yourself saved from such a tragic fate." She chuckled, glancing again at William who seemed to be struggling with a flirtatious young, no scrath that, she was definitley considered a spinster, woman. 

"Is something bothering you? You keep looking over there." 

"Oh no, I'm fine. It's my husband I'm worried about." She turned back to face him, her (eye colour) eyes on his blue ones "He's even more socially inept than I am." 

"And that's why you're seen so frequently in polite society?" He asked 

She frowned in faux annoyance "Doesn't mean I enjoy it." He laughed once more in response whilst (Name) sighed looking back at William, the damsel in distress needed saving "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to cut the conversation short...I don't think I'm a fan of bigamy." She half joked  before walking away, seeing the look of relief on William's face as he noticed her presence.

"What's this, darling?" A sweet voice, almost unrecognisable, called out to poor William, still embarrassed after that 'subtle' confession. If he had taken any more steps further back, he would have tripped and broken his skull in half. 

"(N-Name)." William, face somewhat flushed, managed to utter. 

He didn't often stutter, rather his speech was always elegant and sophisticated, the 'confidence' he exuded was never not noticeable in his speech and yet, that voice...that siren like voice had The Lord of Crime trembling and nervous. William could feel his heart speeding up, eventually pounding in his chest even though his wife was a good few feet away from him, but of course even the mere mention of Lady (Name) could make his brain numb with overwhelming thoughts. 

(Name) walked through the other noble ladies, admittedly rather jealous now that she had finally come to terms with these feelings she had. She gave a polite smile, whispering a few 'pardon me's and 'good afternoon's 

"Now that I recall," She said, pushing past the woman who had attempted to make advances on William "We really bonded over one particular consultation, didn't we?" 

"We did indeed.." William said, still flustered. His cheeks grew a deeper shade of red as (name) cling to his arm, her frame pressed against his as her fingers caressed his bicep. 

"I really am lucky to have such an intelligent, and not to mention handsome husband," (Name) complimented, using her palm to cup his chin and bring him to face her. She turned to the other ladies, flashing a glare at the woman who seemed to have made her husband uncomfortable and then returned back to her lovey dovey expression, smile from ear to ear. 

"My apologies ladies but it appears you must seek consultation another time. I have something my dearest William and I need to discuss in private." She said with a wink, dragging a stunned William towards the nearest entrance to the manor.

Once they had entered, climbing upstairs, away from the guests, (name) dropped his hand promptly with a groan. 

"A 'thank you' would be nice." (Name) said as they walked down the quiet halls. "I had to practically fight off all the men, no thanks to you involving me in this boring tea party..although I must say, I expected a lot less gentlemen within our age range, I typically would attract the older, perverted sort, rather than the nice ones we had this afternoon." 

William clenched his jaw, fighting back his jealous feelings "You found them attractive?" He managed to say. 

"Well, there were a few handsome ones, I suppose." She put a finger to her chin, lips pressed together in thought. 

Was she aware of the effect that she had on him? William was always so rational and calm and he hadn't ever felt so envious of anyone, not in his entire life. Of course he could be occasionally jealous when he was but a child, often looking towards those more fortunate and wondering 'why not me?'  

The last time he had felt like this was when (Name)'s first lover wasn't 6 feet underground and torn to pieces, whenever he would see her smiling with the older boy or laughing at some very clearly not amusing joke (he often thought he was much more entertaining than that dull man, his personality was like that of a lemon which had been squeezed dry). Once he had even seen him kiss her, not very skilfully and much too rough for someone like (Name), he would be so much better for her.

It was in between some shelves in the library when he was trying to find a book on probabilities of all things. He had to resist the urge to throw it right in his hideous face, at the very least (or murder him but (Name) beat him to something for once). William actually remembered asking himself what the probability that she would rid herself of that fool and turn her attention to him. 

"Actually there was one particular man, dark hair, rather beautiful, very funny...what was his name again..? Oh yes, Oliver..." She was almost giggling like a teenager, hands clasped behind her back in an innocent manner. The description seemed rather familiar. Was she really attracted to 'amusing' dark haired men? 

God, she was aggravating. 

But so beautiful too, and witty of course. And her eyes were so captivating, so enthralling. William had known this since forever. Nobody knew it more than him.He'd often gaze into her eyes, especially if she was enthusiastic or explaining a mathematical concept to him. 

"Is that so?" He choked out, eyes lingering on her as she brushed her gloved hand against the textured wallpaper. 

She hummed with a nod "I was convinced he fancied me, but of course, you being you, you had women practically throwing themselves at you and I had to come to your rescue." 

"Women do not throw themselves at me." He stated curtly. 

"Oh yes they do, professor." (Name) teased "You aren't exactly an eyesore, are you? A nice physique, a pretty face, and a tolerable personality. You're considered desirable amongst the women of the upper class." 

But was he desirable to her? 

He had to take a deep breath. She was doing this on purpose, she had to be. She must have caught onto his attraction for her and now he was being tormented by a higher power for his desperations. 

"More so than this Oliver?" He blurted out. He had meant to say something completely different, but it was as if his brain was no longer thinking for him, rather his heart was. 

Had Freud been well established in 1879, one may call such a mistake a 'Freudian Slip', but of course, he wasn't. He had to wait till the 1900s for that. For now, though, dear reader, we could call this a "Liam-being-a-desperate-man-whore-slip." 

(Name) had to fight back the smirk on her lips, wrestling with her desire to laugh at him for now feeling the same way he had made her felt, although William wasn't flirting with anyone in an attempt to make (Name) jealous, he was just existing and trying to give advice to women who couldn't help but adore him. 

She leaned against the wall, inches away from her bedroom door. "Is someone jealous?" She asked, voice sickeningly sweet. William could never truly hate her, well he did at one point, but it wasn't hate so much as it was irritation at her antics, yet she was only a child, a mere teenager. He couldn't blame her. But God, the way she smirked up at him made him want to wipe that expression off her face, it was so unlike him. 

"Jealous?" He repeated slowly, processing and analysing his own feelings. He had long known how he felt for (Name), that was certain, but he hadn't expected it to become more than simply admiring from afar..and yet here they were. 

"The mere mention of another man seems to be making your blood boil.." she said smugly, eyes shining in the sunlight "I never knew your affections for me were so grand." 

"It's not that," William spoke, trying to articulate his speech when all he truly wanted was to press his lips against hers, his voice slowly raising as he grew more tense. "It's improper in polite society for a married woman to act flirtatiously with other men." 

"I didn't take you as one for polite society, William." She retorted, fingers ghosting over his shoulder "I thought that was something you aimed to destroy, sweetheart."

"You know what I mean." He said, red eyes piercing through her (eye colour) eyes. "What would everyone think knowing you've had extra marital affairs?" 

"Now this really isn't like you," (Name) laughed, hand slowly drifting down to his arm "I thought none of that bothered you? We don't exactly have any commitments to one another-" 

"It was implied." He cut her off, almost aggressively. How dare she bring up the initial regulations for this contract marriage when she knew the lines were blurred so heavily at the point, ever since they had slept together, no, ever since they had even kissed! His palms rested against the wall, just short of (Name)'s ears while she tried to stand straight, unwilling to allow him the upper hand. "During our past two years of marriage, you haven't expressed any interest in any men, and there is no need to change that now."  

There was a short silence. The only thing (Name) could hear was her own rapid heart beat and the sound of William's soft breathing as he lowered his face away from her gaze. The position she was in was truly unfortunate, but not exactly unwelcome. He had both arms caged around her while she leaned against the wall, her knees feeling slightly weak as they bent slightly, making her feel much smaller than she was. She had retracted her hand from him, holding to wall to keep herself steady as she attempted to anticipate his next move. It was like chess, except with just the king and queen. Actually, maybe it wasn't that similar. 

"And it does bother me," William eventually spoke, voice ragged and breathless "Ceaselessly. I hated seeing you with that womaniser. And when I had finally thought he was gone and you would turn your attention elsewhere, more only followed..but once we had both left university, I had to witness you sneaking off at balls, usually with that Lord Henry and-" 

"So you did know who Theodore was?" She asked, irritated by his confession "And you felt the need to pretend you didn't, as if you weren't spying on me the whole time! God you are insufferable!" 

"Not nearly as insufferable as you are!" He glared down at her. 

"You know that they didn't mean anything to me, I don't see why this is even a point of discussion," (Name) defended herself, leaning her head against the wall "Why should I be held responsible?" 

William unconsciously clenched his teeth, eyebrows furrowed together. "Must I make it any clearer to you? Are you really that foolish, that naive?" 

"Perhaps I am, I'm just a stupid whore to you, aren't I?" She spat, a raised eyebrow as she waited for him to speak. "But I think I know jealousy when I see it." 

"It's not that I'm jealous, it's just that.." he almost stammered before snapping, much to (Name)'s surprise.  "You're mine, (Name). My wife, not Oliver's, not Lord Henry's, and certainly not Theodore Arden's." 

Since when was he so possessive..? And why was it undeniably attractive? 

His words hung heavy in the air, realisations to his rudeness hitting him suddenly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that.." he apologised, pulling away in embarrassment, averting his gaze.  "I shouldn't have.."

(Name)'s fingers looped through his belt, grasping onto his arm as she  pulled him back in for a fiery kiss. He was quick to return the gesture, his hands making theirway to her back and pulling her closer, seeking more of her. 

"You're so irritating.." She murmured against his lips "I despise you with every breath."

He chuckled bitterly at her words, his lips parting and coliding with hers "And you aren't? Nobody has been on my mind more than you..you're a distraction, an obstacle. I can't believe I was foolish enough to marry you." 

"Believe me, it hasn't been easy for me either," (Name) groaned against his lips, pulling his hair. "Can't you do anything right? Kiss me properly...I hadn't waited that long just for you to learn nothing from our previous encounter, or maybe you've forgotten." 

"I promise, (Name), I haven't..I think about it constantly, to the point it haunts my dreams." He moaned as she bit his lip, twisting the doorknob to her bedroom and opening the door with a creek "But if I didn't, I'd trust you to help me recall." 

She cupped his cheeks in her palms, walking into the room with him as he shut the door behind them, allowing them some privacy. "So I'm better than you at something for once, and you have no feelings of hatred? How underwhelming."

"I hate you." He said as he pressed her against her bedroom wall, the wallpaper contrasting beautifully with her skin. "I hate you so passionately I don't know what to do with myself half the time. I wish I could say I regret meeting you but then I wouldn't be here with you.." 

"Mm.." (Name) hummed, her hand making its way to his hair again, her fingers tangling in those blond locks she adored "I hate you more..if you hadn't bribed me to attend this party, we wouldn't be doing this right now." 

"Then thank God I did," he smirked against her lips, breathless from kissing her so long with barely enough room to breathe. His mind was hazy now, and he was just going to exert himself even further, but he didn't mind. Anything for (Name).

"Yo Patterson," Moran called out to the man in glasses "You- this was a difficult win.." 

"I understand..it seems everyone had a hard time today," He pushed up his spectacles with his pinky

"What about everyone else? And the old man?" 

"Albert and the old man already went to their rooms...William and (Name) left early, and I haven't seen them since, but they're around...and moneypenny's gone home." Moran explained

"Really? I brought some alcohol." Patterson smiled, holding up the bottle 

"Sorry," The colonel smirked 

"It seems Bond is already asleep..and I've come all this way..at least you can join me for a drink, Moran."  Patterson said through the snores of Bond, Fred and Josephine who were curled up on the couch together. 

"By the way Moran," He continued, gazing out of the window "I hope you didn't put your hands on any of the ladies during the tea party." 

"I didn't have time for that! None of us did, we were all doing our jobs." He protested, already starting to get tipsy. 

"Hm? I thought you said William and (Name).." the detective paused, shrugging his shoulders "I see you've finely seen the joy of hard work." 

"You don't think they..?" 

"You never know."

A/N: first false lovers chapter in months lol. The wait was worth it I promise. We’re getting closer to the final problem arc tho and that’s depressing ☹️ Anyways, I have finals soon but during the summer, I’ll be posting a lot more, I promiseee. Let me know if I guys liked this chapter because I made a few slight changes from my normal style soo. Okay bye byeee ‼️

[butch-reidentified]

I slept today (Sunday July 2) during the day for literally, zero exaggeration, the first time since Monday night. Not even a 20 minute catnap. and that's on top of running my own business where a massive project I'm comanaging is approaching deadline, a full 40 hour a week side job I don't even do for money, everything that went down on here this week, dealing with new but typical abusive bullshit from my mother-in-law toward my wife, and a personal medical crisis. and other shit here and there (like the whole thing Monday night I posted about the abusive man and his ex downtown) too.

Ima be 100, I rly have zero clue how I'm completely okay right now mentally and physically lmao

but I am ���� honestly I'm just as happy as usual. vibing

[dunglizard]

Hello gay community. Haphazardly applied orange blush inspired by Trixie Mattel. Purple inspired by I like it. Basic concept from the edible I took around 5:45.

On Sunday night Maria and I watched I Saw the TV Glow and it carved me open like that boxcutter did Owen. Utterly harrowing stuff. It actually made me have a very real crisis about who I am and what kind of transition I’m pursuing. “Am I asking for a radical reduction instead of typical top surgery because it’s what I really want? Or am I just flinching away from totally abandoning my most feminine characteristic?” I decided that no, this isn’t a flinch. If it was, it would be a pretty silly place to draw a line. I know what I want, and I know what I am: transgender. I’m not a woman, and I’m not a man either. I might not be a lesbian, but I’m some kind of dyke. I’m Maria’s wife. I’m a little high right now. I feel pretty good about the future.

[specter319]

𝗢𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗟 PROLOGUE

Author's note: Annnd, we're live! This has been the product of a month's love with thorough checking on many levels. The zombie CoD side, though there's a game and plot to it, hasn't gotten this kind of love to it before, so, enjoy. And half asleep me might have posted it two days early

GIF by Loonlypaper as well as concept for message Pairing: Damon 'Ninja' West x Kaden Lincoln, Simon 'Ghost' Riley x John 'Soap' MacTavish, Zack 'Nemo' Hayes x Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick. Word Count: 1.5k words no use of y/n eventual relationship establishment, however, Damon and Kaden are married. Summary: In a nation unaccustomed to war, Australia's newly elected government faces a dire crisis when rumours of a biological weapon on home soil, send shockwaves through the Government's defence sector. Dispatching a team of elite operatives to deal with it, the containment goes heads up as they look for other options.

The Black Angel Squad is soon assigned as the situation quickly spirals out of control behind the team's back unknowingly, and to stop a bleeding wound, Task Force 141 is brought in to assist them amid a frantic cabinet meeting of last-minute options and consistent fuck ups, forging an uneasy alliance between two teams. As tensions soar on both ends, questions arise about one thing: Was this the making of a weapon to begin with? Warnings: slow-burn, zombies, canon typical violence associated with Call of Duty, gruesome depictions of death, blood, swearing. ao3 version [Next]

SUNDAY, AUGUST 10, 2025 - 0026 HOURS

“Omega team, you are clear for breach,” A woman’s voice stated on comms as all five men nodded, they knew the plan as they currently leaned against the back wall of a house, reported to have something more than an ordinary case of cocaine inside the walls of the dwelling. Everyone known to the government was all over this, and it was a mission that was to have no chance of fucking up. Five people watched intently over the cladded men through a remote connection from four government forces as some twiddled their thumbs or held hands close to their faces in the anxiety that something was going to go horribly wrong. At best, a soldier not making it back home.

But they never expected this.

As a mutual nod from soldiers near the doors came through the camera, one of them gently prodded at the door handle to make sure there was valid movement that it was unlocked, and with a gentle movement, the grip on the handle got tighter, before, as quietly as they could, opened the door as they moved in, one after the other, weapons in hand at the ready and scanned the area with their night vision goggles for any movement. They had to make sure no one was here. It was silent as hand gestures befell the six men as one of them navigated the rest. Quietly stepping along carpeted flooring as the six of them split up into two groups, all in ways where they could find each other in search of one thing. One of them swore they’d seen movement out of the corner of their eye as they turned around, fooled by something in the goggles, a speck of dust, he put it down to, but it wasn’t.

Silence had befallen in the entire house before suppressed shots were the loudest thing to grab the attention of the other two men that were once split from the third, now turning around and heading back as they kept their guns reticle in eyes sight.

The second lot that had moved upstairs heard the gunshot, but only one of them turned around instinctively. The house was way too quiet for activity, and it had only a quarter of the soldiers somewhat questioning the events days prior, unless they’d finally caught on and legged it. But someone had to be staying back for them, someone always did.

This time it was more evident that something was in the house, and it wasn’t at all what they were expected as an angry snarl ripped through the hallway, more gunshots tore through once more before they too — fell silent. They were being picked off one by one, and someone back in the operations room knew it, guessed it from the first lost signal. 

The pair downstairs most certainly heard that as one tapped the shoulder of the other and soon enough followed the way up the stairs. Then there was panicked running, as if something was coming down the hall way as it rushed past, both soldiers quick to ready their gun and fire at it, but it was too late. Though the people back in the room saw it. Panicked by just what it turned out to be, another round of bullets, and their were only four of them left.

Nostrils had become flared, heard by the only sound picked up from the mic out of all times as they quickly changed their mission tactics. Right under the nose of watchful eyes following right into the room they’d last seen whatever this thing was as the three of them kept steady movements. One of them examined the dead body of his fallen soldier as he saw it in the green specks of his night vision. Whole human bite marks at the neck that had left the soldiers silently struggling for air as he bled out to death, a muscle of the left side of his neck almost entirely missing as one soldier began to silently panic. Whatever this thing was, it wasn’t human. 

Entering the room they had last seen it in, one of them had checked to make sure that it wasn’t hiding in any places where it could gain the upper advantage on them, quick to shine a light through the walk in wardrobe that was placed in the bedroom. Having seen no reflective shadows, but staying their long enough to think that his mind was playing tricks on him too. 

Another screech pulled them back as gunshots were heard once more, this time, a longer fight than just two seconds. But it was a battle that remained unwon as silence filled the house again, and this time. The two remaining soldiers were now fighting for their own survival, not even a question of what it was. Nothing in their minds really, a direct kill on sight if seen with no further intention. That’s how the mission was going to end up, going past the point of failure this time around as they scanned the area and saw another body, the same thing, this time, with audible struggling heard as the blood could be heard sitting in the back of his throat and seeping into his lungs. A sound that haunted one government figure as their body sat tense on the round table.

At this point, the pair of them were now absolutely terrified of the unknown. Quite uncommon thanks to the intensive training, but they truly didn’t know what was roaming the halls of this house. Four cameras had now gone down, and the five people in the room were all looking at each other, not speaking a word, but their eyes and body language they gently spoke all looked back at a man before the screens who was monitoring the situation. It had gone to shit, he knew it, but if these two soldiers could remain alive and kill whatever the thing was, wondering about a possible report of a weapon being used for ill intention was going to be the least of his concerns.

As one soldier kept his footing light in order to try and use the desperate sprints it was making to his advantage, his foot squeaked under the carpeting as he cringed at his own mistake, hoping that it hadn’t heard any of it. It was like second nature for the second soldier to suddenly have the instinct to move back into the comfort of the stairs though, as he did so, he quickly tapped the soldier on the back before he turned around to see where he was, but he’d let his guard down for a single second. And it was the moment it had taken complete advantage of him as it ran at the soldier and took him down in one fail swoop before it ran off into the corridors of the upper floor of the house. 

The last soldier had to get the hell out of there, there was a risk that whatever was in this house could now haunt him, but it was at a point where his own priority of safety was far more valid than that of what was going on around him. As he used all of his muscles to flow into the staircase grooves to remain as silent as possible. He swung his gun around to try and assess the situation, it had truly gone FUBAR in a matter of only ten minutes, though he had no recollection of time, those watching him had seen how utterly terrible this mission had gone, and had hoped that he was the last one to make it out alive. 

But it was beyond hopeless at this point as he tried to make his way back out of the house. Choosing to go through the way they once came in, he checked his surroundings once more. Stopping in his tracks as he saw something by the kitchen, standing there. It had thrown him off at first, hoping that it was just his imagination, but as he moved closer to it, the very same military gear that was rested upon his own shoulders became evidently familiar that one of the soldiers was still here, completely fine.

He squinted in curiosity, why hadn’t he kept up with them? Was he hiding? But as he approached just that little more within distance, the soldier turned around almost inhumanly, and that’s when the last soldier knew he’d fucked up as he almost gasped in shock at the state he saw, before the soldier lunged at him, and took down the final camera that was a connection to the mission. It had gone down the drain. 

There was a tense silence in the room, palpable too. And all they were able to do was breathe as the man turned around from the now loud noise of flashing text that was ‘No Signal’ before he finally spoke up.

“Get another Squad on this, immediately, we don’t tell fucking anyone about this."

[precisionwormshaft]

Following the Israeli decision

During discussions with Netanyahu, Abdullah had demanded that Israel remove the metal detectors.A work crew removed the metal detectors from one entrance to the compound in the early hours, and cameras installed on overhead bridges in recent days were also gone, an AFP correspondent reported..The compound lies in east Jerusalem, seized by Israel in the Six-Day War of 1967 and later annexed in a move never recognised by the international community.The mosque compound has served as a rallying cry for Palestinians.The move came in the face of intensive international diplomacy seeking to stop wider Palestinian unrest, with Israel saying it would introduce subtler security measures instead to secure the site following a fatal attack.

In 2000, a visit to it by then Israeli opposition leader Ariel Sharon helped ignite the second Palestinian intifada, or uprising, which lasted more than four years. The street says yes and we say yes; if the street says no to the measures, we will say no," he told AFP following the Israeli decision."The dangers on the ground will escalate if we go through another cycle of Friday prayer without a resolution to this current crisis," Nickolay Mladenov said after briefing the UN Security Council, which met to discuss how to defuse the tensions on Monday.They continued on Saturday, leaving two more Palestinians dead.Israeli authorities said the metal detectors were needed because the July 14 attackers smuggled guns into the compound and emerged from it to shoot the officers.One person set off a firework, prompting Israeli police to use sound grenades to disperse the crowd.As word spread of the decision, a few hundred Palestinians gathered to celebrate near an entrance to the mosque compound.Muslim officials remained undecided on Tuesday morning as to whether to accept Israel&China Economy T Nuts Suppliers39;s move and end their halt to prayers at the Haram al-Sharif mosque compound, known to Jews as the Temple Mount.They decided "to change the inspection with metal detectors to a security inspection based on advanced technologies and other means," Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's office said.Israel's security cabinet took the decision to remove the detectors early on Tuesday.

Details of the advanced technologies the cabinet planned to use were not immediately clear.The Israeli army said the 19-year-old Palestinian had spoken in a Facebook post of the holy site and of dying as a martyr.On Sunday night in Amman, an Israeli embassy security guard shot dead a Jordanian who attacked him with a screwdriver, according to Israeli officials.Israel installed metal detectors at entrances to the compound, which incorporates the Al-Aqsa mosque and the Dome of the Rock, after an attack on July 14 that killed two policemen. They refused to enter the compound in protest and prayed in the streets outside instead.A few dozen Israeli security personnel stood quietly around the entrance, outside which Muslims have prayed for days in protest of the metal detectors.Jordan is the official custodian of Muslim holy sites in Jerusalem.Clashes erupted between Israeli security forces and Palestinians around the Old City, elsewhere in annexed east Jerusalem and in the occupied West Bank, leaving three Palestinians dead.Palestinians viewed the new security measures as Israel asserting further control over the site.A second Jordanian was also killed, apparently by accident."We as the Waqf listen to the street.It also came after one of US President Donald Trump's top aides, Jason Greenblatt, arrived in Israel for talks on the crisis and with the UN Middle East envoy warning of the risks of escalation.Friday's main weekly Muslim prayers -- which typically draw thousands to Al-Aqsa -- had brought the situation to a boil.

The decision to remove the metal detectors followed talks between Netanyahu and Jordan's King Abdullah II.Considered the third holiest site in Islam, it is the most sacred for Jews..

[tryst-art-archive]

Context: Autumn/Winter of 2011

We are now entering the first semester of my junior year of college. During this semester I had a screenwriting class in which we had to choose 1 story to write through the entire semester.

Friends, this class was very valuable, but it broke my depressed little brain.

I first panicked about picking a story because what could I possibly stay interested in for that length of time?? I wound up deciding to tell Arren's story, which I think of as the first of the Khra-nicles, for this class because I at least knew I could care about Khra for a whole semester.

I had the screenwriting class on Mondays, so my second panic was every single Sunday night. I'd procrastinate on doing my screenwriting work every week, then have a sobbing breakdown while pulling the script out of my soul, and that was how I lived that semester.

(Please note how the first 7 of these clearly all occurred in the same night, over a period of 4 hours.)

This was not the class's fault. The class was well-structured, my classmates very kind and even downright flattering about Arren's story, and the professor was highly professional and good at his job. It should, by all rights, have been a fantastic time.

No, the problem was me. I'd psyched myself out about it badly and was having a crisis about whether or not I should be trying to be a writer at all. That crisis of confidence was in part because my college tended to be very anti-genre fiction, which is My Thing, but more than that I'd done to myself about writing what I'd done to myself about art back in high school: I'd decided that others' skill in the medium meant that I was a worthless hack, and I was wrong about that.

In particular, I'd fallen into the trap of comparing myself to my fwb, who was also in the writing major. There was a core difference in our respective approaches to writing in that he wrote out of an unrelenting passion for the activity; he simply was not himself if he wasn't writing. For me, writing was more like a tool--a means to an end--and it was the telling of stories that mattered, not the act of writing. I interpreted that difference as a flaw in myself, deciding that I didn't deserve to be a writer because I wasn't passionate enough about it.

I'd also fallen into the trap of falling for my fwb in a decidedly unhealthy manner. Part of how that unhealthiness manifested was that I started thinking about the future (not a thing I typically did) as something he and I would share, and I made plans which inevitably involved me relinquishing my own ostensible goals in favor of being a breadwinner so that he could pursue his goals. I did this entirely by myself; I never mentioned it to him. It was a delusion of my own making.

And that's really the thing I want to emphasize about the next chunk of time: I wasn't really in touch with reality anymore. I'm not even fully sure why I slipped into a delusional state (who knows, maybe I'll find something that tells me), but it's apparent that that's what was happening. There was this desperate edge to everything I did, and, as aforementioned fwb once said, "Desperation looks good on no one."

[onthepyre]

i think i might be a lesbian but this time it isn't the "bi has a crush on a girl therefore she's 100% gay" that i usually get, it's "oh shit i think every male crush ive ever had was comp het"

??? yknow????

i do this like once a month but it's more intense this time and i dunno what to do about it

[go-scottishgal14]

Biden secretly flying underage migrants into NY in dead of night---Oct.18,2021, NY Post

Planeloads of underage migrants are being flown secretly into suburban New York in an effort by President Biden’s administration to quietly resettle them across the region, The Post has learned.

The charter flights originate in Texas, where the ongoing border crisis has overwhelmed local immigration officials, and have been underway since at least August, according to sources familiar with the matter.

Last week, The Post saw two planes land at the Westchester County Airport, where most of the passengers who got off appeared to be children and teens, with a small portion appearing to be men in their 20s.

Westchester County cops stood by as the passengers — whose flights arrived at 10:49 p.m. Wednesday and  9:52 p.m. Friday — got off and piled into buses.

Some of them were later seen meeting up with relatives or sponsors in New Jersey, or being dropped off at a residential facility on Long Island.

A Post analysis of online flight-tracking data suggests that around 2,000 migrants nabbed after sneaking into the US from Mexico have arrived at the airport outside White Plains on 21 flights since Aug. 8.Records show some of the planes touched down between midnight and 6:30 a.m. — when a voluntary curfew is in effect — with two arriving from Houston at 2:13 a.m. and 4:29 a.m. on Aug. 20.

The clandestine nature of the operation raises questions about how the White House is dealing with a recent surge in unaccompanied minors.The most recent figures from US Customs and Border Protection show that just during July and August,  37,805 unaccompanied minors were caught entering the US from Mexico — sometimes after being abandoned  by professional  smugglers known as “coyotes.”

A source familiar with the operation at the Westchester airport said the underage migrants typically arrive carrying backpacks and are bused to locations including the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens, upstate Newburgh, and Bridgeport and Danbury in Connecticut.

Around 12:30 a.m. Saturday, it stopped in Syosset, Long Island, at the campus of MercyFirst, a nonprofit sponsored by the Catholic Sisters of Mercy that provides housing and services for “children and adolescents who are the victims of societal problems,” according to its website.

On Friday night, one bus left the Westchester airport and barreled down the Hutchinson River Parkway — which is off limits to commercial vehicles — at speeds greater than 75 mph before crossing the Throgs Neck Bridge.

MercyFirst has a contract to supply the federal government with residential services for “immigrant youth,” according to the site.   MercyFirst CEO Renee Skolaski didn’t return a request for comment.

Later Saturday, a similar scene began playing out in Jacksonville, Fla., where many of the flights from Texas have touched down before continuing on to Westchester — and where The Post saw a Boeing 737-700 land shortly after 10 p.m. at Jacksonville International Airport.

As local cops stood by, a group of between 10 and 15 people wearing matching white baseball caps and carrying duffel bags got off the plane and onto a charter bus near a dormant cargo terminal.

After a two-hour ride, the group arrived around 1 a.m. Sunday at the Twin Oaks Academy, a juvenile detention center in the Apalachicola National Forest near Tallahassee, where staffers were waiting to open a gate topped with barbed wire.

Republican Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis expressed outrage at The Post’s findings, with a spokeswoman saying: “If the Biden Administration is so confident that their open-border policy is good for our country, why the secrecy?”

“Why is the Biden Administration refusing to share even the most basic information about illegal alien resettlement in communities throughout our state and the entire country?” spokeswoman Christina Pushaw said.

“Washington, DC, sets immigration policies that do not affect them, and states — that lack information about migrant resettlement and do not have the authority to change federal immigration policy — are expected to bear the brunt of Biden’s reckless open-borders agenda.”

On Wednesday, The Post also saw two buses leave the Westchester airport carrying about 100 passengers who arrived on a McDonnell Douglas MD-83.

One bus stopped at the Thomas Edison Service Area off the New Jersey Turnpike in Woodbridge, where the migrants got off around 12:45 a.m. Thursday.

Over the next two hours, they were driven away in cars by people who met them there — without anyone appearing to have to show identification to the officials overseeing the operation.

A woman who lives near the airport told The Post on Monday that a flight arrived there “around 3 or 4” that morning “and it was shaking the house” and awakened her 8-month-old baby boy.  “He’s been waking up for the last month around 2, 3, 4 because of the noise,” she said.

“I got used to the regular airport noise but these planes or jets sound different. Lower, more bass. And they’re coming in the middle of the night!”

The neighbor also said she ���can see the airport perfectly from my upstairs” and has noticed “a few buses that say ‘Out of Service’ hanging around” that aren’t the usual county buses or airport shuttles.

And she said the airport has lately been “much darker than usual” overnight.

“I liked the way it looked like a little city — blue and white lights,” she said.

“But since the middle of this summer, they are all off, except one or two of them on the top of the Flexjet hangar … I guess so you can’t see what’s going on.”

Former Westchester County Executive Rob Astorino, a Republican candidate for governor, said he learned about the flights from citizens upset by violations of the voluntary curfew.

The flights have reportedly been happening recently as the Biden administration has been allowing illegal immigrants to stay in the county instead of deporting them. Christopher Sadowski

Astorino said smaller planes apparently began arriving in April, when he said the flights weren’t “as frequent.”

When Astorino held an Aug. 16 news conference at the airport, he said, a flight arrived carrying passengers who got onto a bus that pulled up close to the airstairs and partially blocked the view of the people boarding it.

Astorino said he spotted at least 50 to 75 migrants, most of whom appeared to be men older than 20.

“No one has explained where they’re going and who they are,” he said.

“The Biden administration is systematically spreading the southern border crisis to communities all around the country, often shrouded in secrecy and under the cloak of darkness.”

Meanwhile, a spokeswoman for Democratic Westchester County Executive George Latimer tried to downplay the situation as “nothing new.”

“This is similar to when HHS, under the Trump administration, housed almost 1,000 migrant children in Westchester — without the County’s prior knowledge or approval,” spokeswoman Catherine Cioffi said in a written statement.

“Then, as opposed to now, there was no outcry by anyone.”

The White House insisted Monday that the flights only carry children and teens, and the US Department of Health and Human Services said, “It is our legal responsibility to safely care for unaccompanied children until they can be swiftly unified with a parent or a vetted sponsor.”

“Our Office of Refugee Resettlement facilitates travel for the children in its custody to their family or sponsors across the country,” HHS spokesman Jorge Silva said.

“In recent weeks, unaccompanied children passed through the Westchester airport en route to their final destination to be unified with their parents or vetted sponsor.”

SO MUCH FOR PRESIDENTIAL HONESTY, TRUTHFULNESS AND TRANSPARENCY....

[whentherewerebicycles]

ruthie having an existential crisis about the fact that the weekend is too short and it’s Sunday night already :( anyway here’s tomorrow:

lights out 10:45

up at 7:45

lounge and write 8-9

9-10 shower, breakfast, get ready

10 leave for campus

10:30-11:30 make passage station activity materials, write up instructions + questions, do test run, type up full class agenda, send reminder email

11:30-2 make handout (resources, terms, PS/SOP/CL spectrum, rec letter takeaways, ways to make yourself competitive for grad school if you take a break, typical breakdown of trajectory through PhD, maybe do a short little myth vs reality section if I have time)

2-2:30 go pick up food

2:30-3:30 grant meeting

3:30-4 seminar prep

4-5:30 teach workshop with EL! yay!!!

grab light groceries

walk dogs for an hour

block apps on phone and write for a couple hours god willing

[one-abuse-survivor]

reporting from the milky way again :)

yes, i did get the exams and project out of the way (the main reason i worked on the project so much last weekend was because i had to turn it in until sunday night) but right now were in the process of getting all the grades back and tbh i'm less than happy about it. So far i'm not happy about math, physics and chemistry and there'll be even worse grades in geography, german and music.

and my dad did not realize the extent of my struggles and seems to think that i'm just a rebellious teenager or something

i know that my mom will be around tomorrow afternoon and i am planning to talk with her then but that'd be a one-on-one conversation and i'm not sure if i can handle that at the moment but we'll see. i can tell you how it went afterwards.

and i'm really excited for friday bc it's the last day of school this year and afterwards we have a 7 week break and i'll be able to go out for lunch with a friend whom I haven't seen in two years because they moved to the US.

okay so this is milky way again and i wanted to let you know how trying to talk to my mom went

spoiler alert: it was worse than disappointing

i didn't start talking about my suspicions of being neurodivergent because i wanted to see how helpful she'd be first so i just kinda started with how i struggle with concentrating and not getting distracted at school and my sleep issues and that's about as far as i got before i got a feeling of how pointless this was.

the only thing she did was telling me that others have it worse (since i still have above-average grades), that everyone has this kind of existential crisis at some point during their teenager years, that the sleeping and concentration issues are just teenager issues that everyone has and that everyone feels like their struggles are worse than everyone else's even tho most of the time they actually aren't and finally that she can't help me

i of course quickly got the hell out of the room and went to bed (so i can be by myself in my room in the dark with my door closed). on one hand i'm absolutely furious and on the other hand i am disappointed, sad and dejected and i don't really believe myself anymore. seriously, what if she's right? she's had about 40 years more life experience and she was a teenager too at some point so she'd know this kinda thing, wouldn't she? what if i'm just complaining too much and talking over the ones that are actually struggling and can actually prove it with grades and stuff?

i feel a lot worse than i did one hour ago and i should've just not started talking in the first place and i regret it so much because i know this conversation will haunt me for the next week if not more.

i'm just angry angry angry

at myself, at her, at the way she compared me with literally everyone else at my age, at how i'm not sure of myself and at everything

i haven't felt this bad since last november and that was when things got really really bad (suicidal thoughts and self-harm included) and i'm so so scared of being there again because i'm on a 7 month 2 week streak with self-harm and i don't want to have to break it

sorry that this is just me venting and that this is so long

tl;dr i tried talking to my mom, now i'm angry at myself and her and i'm terrified of myself

Hi again ❤ I'm really sorry your grades aren't as good as you wanted them to be and that your dad keeps acting like your struggles are just a teenage rebellious phase and not taking you seriously :( I hope you have a good time with your friend, at least!

I'm so so sorry talking to your mom went so badly. I hope you're feeling slightly better now, but if not, I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug. I know how hard it can be to believe you're actually struggling at first, especially mentally, and I can't even imagine how horrible it must feel to have those fears "proven" by the very people meant to help you and support you when you reach out for help.

She is not right, nonnie, no matter how much she insists she is. First of all, I think there's at least some truth to the idea that teenagers tend to think the world revolves around themselves, and to feel uncomprehended at times. But I also think that's completely understandable. I mean, you're experiencing what it's like not to be a kid anymore for the very first time; you're facing many grown-up problems and feelings for the first time. And all of that while hormones wreak havoc in your system. How are you not meant to be at least a little bit angsty at times? But you know what? That doesn't mean you don't deserve help and guidance from your parents! It is a part of parenting to guide your kids through their teenage problems and to help them deal with emotions and issues they'd never had to face before. So even if she was right, and all you were going through right now was a typical teen existential crisis, you would still need and deserve her guidance and support. And you would still deserve to see a doctor about your struggles with sleep and concentration even if it turned out it was a teenage thing. There is no scenario where you deserve to suffer and push through your struggles alone just because your problems don't come from a serious enough source.

Second of all, grades are not indicative of how much you're struggling. I got some of the best grades in my school during years where I was going through abuse. I know a person who managed to get into a medicine degree with undiagnosed ADHD (and you have to get some really high grades to study medicine here). I also know a person who passed 3/4ths of her uni subjects and graduated university while in a depression so severe she could barely walk. Your grades do not dictate whether you need help.

And third of all, she might be older than you, and I'm sure she had a lot of learning experiences as a teenager herself, but that doesn't mean she knows you better than you know yourself. No one knows you better than you know yourself. No one has experienced all life experiences and gets to decide what other people are or aren't going through. And most importantly, there's always going to be someone who has it "worse" than everyone in this world, but that doesn't mean everyone else doesn't deserve help to manage their struggles. There's no such thing as not struggling enough to deserve help. Either you're not struggling at all, whatsoever, or you are to some extent—and no matter what that extent is, if you feel like you need help with it, then you need help with it. No one gets to tell you you don't.

From what I know, it's not unheard of for neurodivergent people to get told by their parents that their experiences are universal and therfore "not a big deal", and for it to turn out that their parents have some signs of neurodivergence themselves and just never got diagnosed. I of course don't know if that's the case here, but I want you to know that regardless of her reasons to tell you your experiences are universal—whether she also went through that and never had it acknowledged or she's saying it to gaslight you and make you question yourself—her behaviour is still neglectful. And you deserved so much better than to be made to feel like you're making things up, exaggerating and talking over others when all you did was ask for help with your personal struggles.

Sending a giant hug your way ❤️

[newstfionline]

Monday, April 5, 2021

Coming out of the cave: As life creeps back, some feel dread (AP) Dinner reservations are gleefully being made again. Long-canceled vacations are being booked. People are coming together again, in some of the ways they used to. But not everyone is racing back. For some, even small tasks outside the home—a trip to the grocery store, or returning to the office—can feel overwhelming. Psychologists call it re-entry fear, and they’re finding it more common as headlines herald the imminent return to post-pandemic life. “I have embraced and gotten used to this new lifestyle of avoidance that I can’t fathom going back to how it was. I have every intention of continuing to isolate myself,” says Thomas Pietrasz, who lives alone and works from his home in the Chicago suburbs as a content creator. Pietrasz says his anxiety has grown markedly worse as talk of post-vaccine life grows. He says he got used to “hiding at home and taking advantage of curbside and delivery in order to avoid every situation with people.”

Vaccine passports are latest flash point in COVID politics (AP) Vaccine passports being developed to verify COVID-19 immunization status and allow inoculated people to more freely travel, shop and dine have become the latest flash point in America’s perpetual political wars, with Republicans portraying them as a heavy-handed intrusion into personal freedom and private health choices. They currently exist in only one state—a limited government partnership in New York with a private company—but that hasn’t stopped GOP lawmakers in a handful of states from rushing out legislative proposals to ban their use. Vaccine passports are typically an app with a code that verifies whether someone has been vaccinated or recently tested negative for COVID-19. They are in use in Israel and under development in parts of Europe. But lawmakers around the country are already taking a stand against the idea. “We have constitutional rights and health privacy laws for a reason,” said Pennsylvania House Majority Leader Kerry Benninghoff, a Republican. “They should not cease to exist in a time of crisis. These passports may start with COVID-19, but where will they end?” Benninghoff said this week his concern was “using taxpayer money to generate a system that will now be, possibly, in the hands of mega-tech organizations who’ve already had problems with getting hacked and security issues.”

Facebook data on more than 500M accounts found online (AP) Details from more than 500 million Facebook users have been found available on a website for hackers. The information appears to be several years old, but it is another example of the vast amount of information collected by Facebook and other social media sites, and the limits to how secure that information is. The availability of the data set was first reported by Business Insider. According to that publication, it has information from 106 countries including phone numbers, Facebook IDs, full names, locations, birthdates, and email addresses. Facebook has been grappling with data security issues for years.

In Myanmar, Easter eggs a symbol of defiance for anti-coup protesters (Reuters) Opponents of military rule in Myanmar inscribed messages of protest on Easter eggs on Sunday while others were back on the streets, facing off with the security forces after a night of candle-lit vigils for hundreds killed since a Feb. 1 coup. In the latest in a series of impromptu shows of defiance, messages including “We must win” and “Get out MAH”—referring to junta leader Min Aung Hlaing—were seen on eggs in photographs on social media. Young people in the main city of Yangon handed out eggs bearing the messages of protest, pictures in posts showed.

With Swarms of Ships, Beijing Tightens Its Grip on South China Sea (NYT) The Chinese ships settled in like unwanted guests who wouldn’t leave. As the days passed, more appeared. They were simply fishing boats, China said, though they did not appear to be fishing. Dozens even lashed themselves together in neat rows, seeking shelter, it was claimed, from storms that never came. Not long ago, China asserted its claims on the South China Sea by building and fortifying artificial islands in waters also claimed by Vietnam, the Philippines and Malaysia. Its strategy now is to reinforce those outposts by swarming the disputed waters with vessels, effectively defying the other countries to expel them. The goal is to accomplish by overwhelming presence what it has been unable to do through diplomacy or international law. And to an extent, it appears to be working. “Beijing pretty clearly thinks that if it uses enough coercion and pressure over a long enough period of time, it will squeeze the Southeast Asians out,” said Greg Poling, the director of the Asia Maritime Transparency Initiative at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington, which tracks developments in the South China Sea. “It’s insidious.”

Nearly 20 arrested in alleged plot against Jordan’s King Abdullah II (Washington Post) Jordanian authorities on Saturday arrested as many as 20 people and sought to restrain the movement of a former crown prince amid what officials called a threat to the “security and stability” of a country long regarded as a vital U.S. ally in the Middle East. Prince Hamzeh bin Hussein, the eldest son of the late King Hussein and his American-born fourth wife, Queen Noor, was told to remain at his Amman palace amid an investigation into an alleged plot to unseat his older half brother, King Abdullah II, according to a senior Middle Eastern intelligence official briefed on the events. The move followed the discovery of what officials described as a complex and far-reaching plot that included at least one other Jordanian royal as well as tribal leaders and members of the country’s political and security establishment. One official cited unspecified evidence of “foreign” backing for the plan. Biden administration officials were briefed on the arrests, which come at a time of heightened economic and political tension in a country long regarded as a bulwark of stability and an essential partner in U.S.-led counterterrorism operations.

Cairo’s mummies get a new home. And a grand procession on the way. (Washington Post) It was a parade unlike any other this city has seen. A procession of 22 ancient Egyptian royal mummies streamed Saturday from downtown Cairo, where revolutionaries rose up to topple autocrat Hosni Mubarak a decade ago, to a new museum three miles away that represents Egypt’s future as much as its past. At 8 p.m., the mummies—18 kings and four queens—left the famed ochre-hued Egyptian Museum near Tahrir Square, where they had rested for decades. They were each atop specially decorated gold-and-blue-hued vehicles resembling boats. Or perhaps the symbol of a winged sun, an ornament worn by Egypt’s ancient rulers and seen as providing protection. Each of the 22 vehicles was emblazoned with the name of the royal mummy it carried. The multimillion-dollar affair—called the Pharaohs’ Golden Parade—had been promoted for months. Egyptian authorities are seeking to attract tourists, a key source of foreign currency, and alter the course of an economy battered by the coronavirus pandemic, Islamist attacks and political chaos in past years. The highly choreographed ceremony was also a nationalist vehicle to highlight Egypt’s place in history. The nation’s authoritarian president, Abdel Fatah al-Sissi, who himself is often referred to as “a new pharaoh” for his ambitious projects and iron-fisted rule, presided over the ceremony.

Confronting late-stage pandemic burnout (NYT) Like many of us, the writer Susan Orlean is having a hard time concentrating these days. “Good morning to everyone,” she tweeted recently, “but especially to the sentence I just rewrote for the tenth time.” “I feel like I’m in quicksand,” she explained by phone from California, where she has been under quasi-house arrest for the last year. “I’m just so exhausted all the time. I’m doing so much less than I normally do—I’m not traveling, I’m not entertaining, I’m just sitting in front of my computer—but I am accomplishing way less. It’s like a whole new math. I have more time and fewer obligations, yet I’m getting so much less done.” Call it a late-pandemic crisis of productivity, of will, of enthusiasm, of purpose. Whatever you call it, it has left many of us feeling like burned-out husks, dimwitted approximations of our once-productive selves. “Malaise, burnout, depression and stress—all of those are up considerably,” said Todd Katz, executive vice president and head of group benefits at MetLife. The company’s most recent Employee Benefit Trends Study, conducted in December and January, found that workers across the board felt markedly worse than they did last April. The study was based in part on interviews with 2,651 employees. In total, 34 percent of respondents reported feeling burned out, up from 27 percent last April. Twenty-two percent said they were depressed, up from 17 percent last April, and 37 percent said they felt stressed, up from 34 percent.

[saddayfordemocracy]

On Sunday, Belarus–overseen for over a quarter-century by a brutal imbecile named Alexander Lukashenko–hosted its latest version of what could loosely be called an “election.” 

These ersatz plebiscites have long been perfunctory functions that typically end in Lukashenko gaining yet another term in office, the better to continue smothering the independent press, peaceful protesters, and opposition figures alike. 

Since ascending to the presidency in 1994, Lukashenko, an unreconstructed Soviet man if there ever was one, has largely succeeded in cementing his power in Minsk and in overseeing a suffocating dictatorship over a swatch of Eastern Europe tha hosted the final days of the Soviet Union.

This time around, however, there was a hitch. Where Lukashenko could previously point to economic stability–buttressed in large part by Puttin’s hydrocarbon-funded subsidies–the global oil crunch has kneecapped Lukashenko’s reliable Moscow benefactors, putting paid to the notion that the Belarusian strongman could alone guarantee Belarus’s economic fortunes. 

Meanwhile, Lukashenko, cocooned in his increasingly farcical world of enablers and yes-men, mishandled the coronavirus outbreak in a way that would make even Donald Trump blanch. Not only did Lukashenko claim that the coronavirus was itself as a hoax and a “psychosis,” but he further mused that a vodka-and-sauna regimen would be enough to combat the disease. (Little surprise that Lukashenko is one of the few world leaders to have caught the disease thus far.)

Those twin realities, the economic downturn and the cascading coronavirus crisis, were enough of an impetus for a long dormant and oft-beleaguered opposition movement to begin to stir. When a number of opposition figures burst onto the political scene–ranging from former regime insiders to YouTube bloggers to businessmen disgusted by Lukashenko’s mismanagement–Lukashenko turned to a familiar playbook, blaming their rise on “foreign forces” and proceeding to jail them on fabricated charges. But Lukashenko misjudged the country he spent decades battering. New voices–especially that of Svetlana Tikhanovskaya, the wife of jailed YouTuber Sergei Tikhanovsky–entered the fray and picked up the baton of opposition. Lukashenko’s old tricks suddenly faltered and failed.

Buoyed by a post-Soviet generation exhausted with Lukashenko’s viciousness, Sunday’s vote was the most significant election in Belarus’s short history. To win it, Lukashenko deployed all his favorite forms of vote-rigging: outright ballot-stuffing, bought-off “election monitors,” and security forces bloodying protesters. Every trick of the post-Soviet dictator trade was employed. It still wasn’t enough. With Lukashenko declaring a ridiculous 80 percent return on the vote (the vote share that Tikhanovskaya likely earned for herself, if not more), he was the spark that lit the fire that followed.

On Sunday night, that conflagration consumed the country. Incredible footage showed Minsk transformed from a sleepy post-Soviet metropole to one with more foot traffic, and more protesters, than it had ever known. Brave Belarusians walked directly up to the armored personnel carriers and armed police goons blocking the boulevards. Peaceful protesters massed to demand authentic ballot returns. Unarmed voters gathered in blocs, marching to demand transparency, authenticity, and a government that reflected their will.

Belarus remains in a holding pattern. The prevailing social contract, in which Lukashenko retains power in return for economic and socio-political stability, is clearly fractured, perhaps beyond repair. What comes next is anyone’s guess. Lukashenko might cede ground, as we saw in Armenia in 2018, allowing a new generation to rise. He could attempt to cling to power in a manner similar to Ukraine in 2014, in which an aging and rattled despot loses grip while the country devolves into violence and successful overthrow, with a nearby Russia pawing and probing for ways to invade. Or he could go a separate, more horrific route and begin gunning down protesters à la Uzbekistan circa 2005–a solution at which Lukashenko has already terrifyingly hinted.

Whatever comes next in Belarus, Lukashenko’s illiberal gyrations highlight the parameters of modern dictatorship and the depths to which despotic figures will sink in order to retain power. Lukashenko’s ludicrous claim that he won more than three-quarters of Belarusians’ votes illuminates how, and why, modern dictators routinely inflate returns to ridiculous sums. Not only does it allow them to signal strength to wobbling elites, as well as potential external actors (like Russia) eyeing potential territorial gains, but it further illustrates that the regime can blatantly implement fraud and pay no consequences. However, it’s also a means of signaling–as with all of the widespread voter suppression, voter intimidation, and vote manipulation–to the opposition that they remain beaten, battered, and beleaguered.

More broadly, Lukashenko’s efforts highlight just how much his brand of dictatorial misrule has infected regimes both near and far. After all, it’s no longer quite fair to describe Lukashenko as the “last dictator of Europe.” Vladimir Putin in Russia and Ilham Aliyev in Azerbaijan help round out Europe’s dictatorial claque, with Hungary’s Victor Orban eyeing potential entry into their ranks. 

For every successful European anti-authoritarian revolution–in Ukraine, in Georgia–a regime elsewhere picked up the slack, carrying the dark torch of dictatorship well into the twenty-first century.

[noreasonjustbored]

You Can Never Run Fast Enough

Part 2:

Okay so...I wasn’t planning on making this more than a one shot. But, I recently fixed my phone that has been broken for like six months and found half an update to this story. Since a lot was done already, it was relatively easier to work on this than some of my other stuff. Ahem. FIFLWM.

I know that literally no one has asked for this recently and I understand if you don’t want to read since it’s been so long. That’s why I’m not tagging anyone.

Anyways, most of this was written before we knew Jack Swagger existed and also I don’t accept him as a real thing so yeah. I hope you like it. I’m gonna link the first part so you know what the heck I’m talking about.

Part 1

Also, please comment. I really need some motivation to continue writing. And don’t be afraid to talk to me. Send me stuff you want to see or ask me questions or anything. I’m trying to make some more friends. Seriously. 😂

Over the next couple of days Henry saw Jacob everywhere. He was always a step behind Charlotte, like an aggravating shadow.

Since Henry had accepted his feelings for his best friend, he actually wanted to be around her again. He needed to find out if his affections were returned. But these days he couldn’t get her alone because Jacob was constantly around.

Before, Henry was afraid that they were spending too much time together, now they couldn’t even get a second to themselves.

Jacob had started picking Charlotte up for school, he ate lunch at their table, he walked her to class and he dropped her off to work at Junk N’ Stuff. The dude just wouldn’t go away. He was doing all the things that Henry used to do with her. It was like he was his replacement.

At lunch, Jacob and Charlotte were talking about politics. Henry was ignoring them. Usually Jasper was there to make that task a little easier by distracting him but for some reason he wasn’t eating lunch with them today.

Right now, it was extra difficult for Henry not to pay them any mind. Simply because of how they were sitting; Jacob had his arm slung over Charlotte’s shoulder and she was leaning into his side. They looked super cozy.

Henry hated it. That position was grating on his psyche. The sight of it was making his left eye twitch uncontrollably and it was taking all of his willpower not to say something rude.

While clenching his jaw and fantasizing about beating Jacob up in an alley, he heard someone calling his name.

“Hen” Charlotte said.

“Uh, Yeah?” he broke from his violent thoughts.

“What is wrong with you? You look angry.”

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking about an annoyance that I can’t seem to get rid of lately” Henry stated while glaring straight at Jacob.

“Well you look constipated” Jacob gave his unwanted opinion.

“Thanks, that’s the look I was going for” he answered sarcastically.

Looking at Charlotte “Hey where’s Jasper?” Henry asked, changing the subject.

“He told me that there was some kind of bucket crisis so he called an emergency meeting for the Bucketeers.”

“Huh. He is never going to be normal, is he?”

“Signs point to no.”

“Gotta love him anyway.”

“True. Where do you think he would be without us?”

“On fire.”

That made her laugh because it was semi plausible. She loved Jasper but... bless his heart. Hearing Charlotte laugh never failed to make Henry laugh too so he joined in. Soon their laughter faded and now they were just smiling while looking at each other.

This nice friendship moment was interrupted by Jacob obnoxiously clearing his throat to get Charlotte’s attention.

“So Char…”

Charlotte winced. No one really called her that besides Henry. Even Jasper rarely used the nickname.

“Yes?” Charlotte asked while glancing at Henry before turning her attention to Jacob.

“I was hoping that maybe you’d want to go out with me on Saturday night?” he questioned.

“Sorry, she can’t.” Henry abruptly interrupted whatever response that Charlotte was going to give. He wasn’t thinking, he just knew that he couldn’t let Charlotte go on a date with this guy.

What if she like him more than me?

“I can’t?” Charlotte said as she gives Henry a puzzled look.

“Yeah we have that training at work, remember?”

“No, I don’t remember. Did Ray forget to tell me?”

“Probably. You know Ray doesn’t really like you” Henry answers, taking the out.

“Ok then. What about Sunday?” Taylor plowed forward undeterred.

“She can’t do Sunday either. Weekend training dude” Henry quipped. Again, before Charlotte could say anything.

“Alright. How about this, you text me when you are available and I’ll make it work” Jacob told Charlotte while standing up with his tray.

“Yeah, I’ll let you know.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting for your response” he said then walked away without another look in Henry’s direction.

“I’ll be waiting for your response” Henry mocked in a nasally voice under his breath.

“What was that?” Charlotte asked nonchalantly even though she heard him.

“Hm?”

She rolls her eyes. “Never mind. Do we actually have training this weekend or did you make that up because you don’t like Jacob?”

“What makes you think I don’t like the guy?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe it’s the way you look at him like he stepped on your last gumball and there’s no time to get a new tube?”

“Pshhh. That isn’t exactly true.”

“Whatever Henry, do we have training this weekend or not?”

“Well...” he starts high-pitched, in typical Henry fashion.

Charlotte gathers her trash and stands up. “Unbelievable.”

“Wait, I’m sorry I just-”

“You just what? Hate it when I finally get some attention from the opposite sex? Like you’re the only one that people can see in a romantic light?” she interrogated him in a slightly raised voice.

“I mean you’ve never had a boyfriend but-”

“Are you kidding me Henry? Why can’t you just be supportive? I was there for you when you ran through every Chloe, Bianca and Heather in Swellview. I’m only asking for a little reciprocity.”

Henry was stunned. She was practically yelling at him now and people in their immediate vicinity were started to look in their direction. In their entire friendship he can’t remember Charlotte EVER being this mad at him. He was at a loss for words.

“Char...” he manages remorsefully.

“I don’t want to hear it Hart. Talk to me when you grow up” she says with an air of finality as she leaves the cafeteria.

Henry groans while running both hands over his face in frustration.

Wow. I really fucked that up.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

January 22, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

For all that the news has gotten much calmer and more straightforward since Wednesday, we did indeed get an old-fashioned (or at least a past-administration typical) news dump tonight.

It turns out that, in the last, desperate days of his attempt to keep his grip on the presidency, Trump plotted with a lawyer in the Department of Justice, Jeffrey Clark, to oust the acting attorney general. The plan was to replace Jeffrey A. Rosen, who replaced Attorney General William Barr when he left on December 23, with Clark himself. Clark would then press Trump’s attacks on the election results.

A story by Katie Benner in the New York Times explains that as soon as Rosen replaced Barr, Trump began to pressure Rosen to challenge the election results, appoint special counsels to investigate disproven voter fraud, and look into irregularities in the Dominion voting machines (Dominion is now suing pro-Trump lawyer Sidney Powell for defamation). Rosen refused. He told Trump the Justice Department had found no evidence of anything that would have changed the election results.

Trump complained about Rosen and moved to replace him with Clark, who promised to stop Congress from counting the certified Electoral College votes on January 6. This struggle came to a crisis on Sunday, January 3, 2021, when the news broke that Trump had called Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger to pressure him to “find” the votes Trump needed to win the state. That evening, the senior officials at the Department of Justice agreed to resign as a group if Trump put Clark in as the new acting attorney general.

The vow that the leaders of the Department of Justice would quit if Trump tried to demote Rosen and put Clark in his place made Trump back off from his plan to pervert the Department of Justice. Three days later, rioters stormed the Capitol.

In addition to this bombshell story, there is more news about the Capitol attack. Court documents filed on Tuesday reveal that some of the rioters had made plans ahead of time to attack the Capitol, and had planned to “arrest” lawmakers on charges of “treason” and “election fraud.”

An investigation by NPR reveals that nearly 1 in 5 of the rioters charged so far have a history of serving in the military (only about 7% of Americans in general are military veterans). Prosecutors have indicated they are planning to bring charges of seditious conspiracy against some of the suspects, charges that, if proven, bring up to 20-year jail terms.

President Biden has asked new Director of National Intelligence Avril Haines to assess the dangers of domestic violent extremism. Press Secretary Jen Psaki today said of the effort: "We are committed to developing policies and strategies based on facts, on objective and rigorous analysis and on our respect for constitutionally protected free speech and political activities."

Congress today set the calendar for the impeachment trial of the former president for incitement of insurrection. The House will formally deliver the article of impeachment to the Senate on Monday evening. The senators will be sworn in as jurors on Tuesday, and then the Senate will turn to confirming Biden’s nominees and considering the coronavirus stimulus package Biden wants while Trump’s lawyers and the House impeachment managers prepare their briefs and arguments. The trial will begin February 9, and is expected to be shorter than Trump’s first impeachment trial, since the charges are simpler and the evidence clearer.

At stake in this impeachment trial is more than the fate of Donald Trump, who is, after all, no longer president. At stake is, in part, the fate of the Republican Party. A number of Republicans who themselves egged on the rioters by claiming to distrust the election results are trying to discredit the trial and say it is pointless.

This wing of the party is led by former chair of the Judiciary Committee Lindsey Graham, who is especially eager to have the issue go away since one of its charges reflects on him. The article of impeachment notes that Trump had tried “to subvert and obstruct the certification of the results of the 2020 Presidential election” with, among other things, “a phone call on January 2, 2021, during which President Trump urged the secretary of state of Georgia, Brad Raffensperger, to ‘find’ enough votes to overturn the Georgia Presidential election results and threatened Secretary Raffensperger if he failed to do so.”

We know about that phone call because Raffensperger recorded it, and Raffensperger said he did so because Lindsey Graham had made a similar call. Raffensperger said he wanted some insurance in case Trump misrepresented his call as Graham had.

As pro-Trump Republicans are defending the former president and downplaying the attempted coup, along with their own role in the discrediting of Biden’s victory, other party members would very much like to see the party purged of the Trump element. With his speech condemning Trump for feeding lies to the rioters and provoking them, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) seems to be trying to lead his party away from the Trump personality cult.

Meanwhile, the Senate still has not begun to organize since McConnell is insisting on a promise from Democrats that they will not end the filibuster. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) says that proposal is unacceptable.

Press Secretary Psaki reiterated today that Biden’s position on the filibuster hasn’t changed; he does not want to end it. But she tied that declaration to his desire to get a coronavirus relief package through Congress on a bipartisan basis. There is a carrot and a stick in that statement: the carrot is that Biden is offering to share the credit for such a package with Republicans; the stick is that if they block such a measure entirely, Biden will likely back whatever Schumer does to get a bill through.

There are two places where lawmakers have agreed lately, though. Last night, the leadership of the Capitol Police abruptly moved National Guard soldiers to a garage for their break time. These troops are deployed to protect Washington, D.C., against domestic insurrectionists and have worked grueling hours. When news of the soldiers lying down in parking spaces reached lawmakers of both parties, they rushed to get the service members back indoors.

This morning, First Lady Dr. Jill Biden visited the troops bearing chocolate chip cookies. This move was reminiscent of First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt’s 1933 visit to the Bonus Marchers after the Herbert Hoover administration had tried to destroy their encampment with troops. Dr. Biden thanked the soldiers and recalled her son Beau’s time with the Delaware Army National Guard in Iraq. “The National Guard always holds a special place in the hearts of all the Bidens,” she told them. Dr. Biden’s visit was an important indicator of the tenor of this White House.

In another bipartisan move, lawmakers of both parties have introduced measures in both houses of Congress to award Officer Eugene Goodman a Congressional Gold Medal. Goodman is the Capitol Police officer who led rioters away from the Senate chamber on January 6 and thus bought enough time for the senators there to escape to safety. The Congressional Gold Medal is one of the two highest civilian awards in the United States. In our history, only 163 of them have been cast.

The Senate bill reads: “By putting his own life on the line and successfully, singlehandedly leading insurrectionists away from the floor of the Senate Chamber, Officer Eugene Goodman performed his duty to protect the Congress with distinction, and by his actions Officer Goodman left an indelible mark on American history.”

—-

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[mcrvictoria]

God (the play)

Written by L.A. Glanvill Copyright 2018 (rev.)

Characters: A mottle group that went to grade school together till the end of High school. Even though they have different personalities, they maintain a close relationship even in there late twenties. Bringing New couples into the mix and dealing with the off-putting scenarios the characters create. 

God: Stereotypical character, white toga Style robe. Seems innocent almost naive. Seems to have an Identity crisis. Definite wisdom but seems simple when dealing with tough situation. Playful and whimsical as well. 

Phil: Late twenties, anal and looks for people's approval even though he's successful at his job. Seems a bit needy with a touch of sarcasm that is retracted when he goes to far. Can be self-defeating and can be a bit of a whiner. 

Martha: Wise but quietly wanting everyone to be happy. A people-pleaser, her main goal is to become the perfect host. Dedicated to Phil. Knows things others don't seem to know but can be so blind at times and a bit of a snob. She seems to miss the small things. 

Tom: Very religious, devout, a little dumb. Easily influenced by Jen. Very scattered and reactionary. Illogical. Blind to all around him. Controlled by base emotions and short tempered. 

Jen: Tom's Girlfriend. Not smart but thinks she is. Really argumentative. Emotional and reactive. Very aggressive. Uses sex as a weapon with Tom. Massively manipulative. 

Tammy: The most unlucky person ever. If anything can go wrong, it will. She falls a lot, always hurt, outer circle even affected. Can be sad and meek at times. But still seems to carry a smile even if fake. Has an expecting nature about her and stoic. 

Dr. Segal: Arrogant, controlling, big ego. Is a Player and condescending. Very shallow and materialistic. Male chauvinistic personality. Objectives women. Really believes he's better than others. 

Corina: Very shallow, gold digger, materialistic. Only wears and top brands but never pays for anything. Has multiple boyfriends. Dr. Segal being one of them. Using her looks for gains. Very flirty cheats on all relationships. 

Zoe: A clone of Corina but pretends to be dumber. Wrestles with being moral has a conscience but ignores it most times. Important to mimic Corina as much as possible. 

Liz: Rhon's Girlfriend, an accomplished musician, university TA. Sweet, kind, a little silly, quiet and very smart. Super humble, supportive and affectionate. Loves animals and people. Can be naive because she wants to believe in the best of people.

Death: Based on a grandmother character. Super sweet, soft just exudes love. Must have grannies glasses. Flowered dress. Little hate, like going to church on Sunday. Cane, just someone you would love no matter what. 

Rhon (the actor): Liz's boyfriend, logical, scientific in nature. A intellectual always ready for a debate. Can be loud at times. Knows a lot about the universe and not afraid to share his ideas. Strong sense of self. 

Rhon Grenon (The director): Laid back but impatient, direct, demanding if pushed. Also has a contradicting personality, a “I don't care attitude”, but takes everything personal. Knows what he likes and can be a little arrogant about it. 

Cue card guy:  The real Rhon Grenon. AKA, L.A. Glanvill

Song list: 

Voy Vance - Make it rain. 

Kidnap kid - first light. 

The Pete box - Wave. 

Syd Matters – River sister. 

Pretty lights – Finally moving. 

Patrick Watson – To build a home. (Tammy Dies) 

Youngblood Hawk – We come running. 

Our last night – Voices. 

Two Feet – Had some drinks. 

San Holo – Light. 

Suuns – Translate. 

The Chemical Brothers - Snow. 

Miike Snow – Cult logic. 

John Butler – Ocean. 

Waterboys – To close to heaven. 

Phosphoroscent – Song for Zula. 

The Strumbellas – We don't know. 

Ray LaMontagne – Empty. 

The Acid – Basic Instinct. 

Low- Lullaby

Crews: 

Sound Crew: Responsible of overall feel of the atmosphere and vital to success of the feel of the play. 

Lighting crew: Timing is everything. Absolute focus is necessary or wont work especially in the end. 

Food Crew: Have to do set up during end of play, Quietly and quickly. Then responsible to encourage people to start to eat. Bring them food or ask them what they want. 

Audience Plants: Willing to engage neighbours and encourage them to get involved to the party. Start before the play starts. 

Make-up crew: Responsible for all wardrobe and make-up but essential at the end to make Jen a car accident victim.. 

Visual Crew: Responsible for timing and visual play on TV. Easter Egg 

Set Crew: Layout and design as well of placement for optimal full party organization. 

Media Crew: Hit all formats of social media. Create a buzz.

Flood of lights across a room, showing all the details of the stage. Centre stage is a typical living room with couch and TV facing audience. Modern style decor Music plays softly in the background. Looks like there is a preparation for a party going on. Banner saying congratulations up and balloons, food out. Three characters are already walking around finishing prepping. The Lights dim, the characters continue to do what they are doing, above the lights and music comes the deep booming voice of God as his speech continues, the rest get the room finished and ready for the party. 

GOD: In the beginning there was nothing. Pause Nothing here anyway. This darkness, which wasn't actually darkness at the time because no one had come along to start naming things. Just was... Pause nevertheless; anyway; All the same. From the darkness I created the sun, the moon and all the stars. People weren't even on my mind at this point. I was creating scenery. See. Then I laid out the earth here and touched it up with all the beauty I could imagine. Birds, flowers, trees, beetles, rocks, sand, rainbows and snowy peaked mountains. Eventually, water crept up on the land as land invaded the waters and beasts I envisioned lived in blissful ignorance. All but one; Distaste in voice HUMANS. Humans who started thinking that they had monkeys as ancestors. Who considered themselves the descendants of muscular slugs, who heroically dragged their slippery bodies from the water to land to evolve. Again distaste in voice Suddenly, I feel a need to inform them of their folly; To make my presence known; To inform educate, instruct and edify; To help them understand themselves and to do something. Pause You see, I've become so incredibly bored. 

Lights rise again full. The three characters are speaking with one another from across the room. Light music. The doorbell rings.

Phil: I'll Get it. Walks towards the door. Stage Left. Martha raises a hand but not her head as she works away at making finger sandwiches. Phil opens the door to Tammy, Jen, and Thom. Who is carrying a bag of ice. Tammy has a grease mark on her face and her hands are slightly stained, her clothes are wrinkled and hair all messed. 

Oh my god Tammy what the hell happened? 

Tammy looks at her feet and doesn't answer. 

Tom: Her car had a little trouble. 

Jen: A little Trouble? I didn't even know that thing could move. It was a rolling horror show.

Tom:  She just had a flat tire. Jen:  A flat tire!?! I think all four tires of those tires were running on rims. She had flat rims.

Phil: Takes Tammy's hand You ok, hun? 

Tammy nods her head walks over and puts a bowl of crab dip that she brought on the table.

Tammy: I'll put the Crab dip here that I made here Martha. Is that ok?

Martha: Come in, come in all of you. Why are you all standing around? Yes Tammy that's fine, right there is fine. 

Phil moves to the side and holds the door open. The three walk by him and toss their jackets on the side chair. Phil, looking towards the entering guests goes to close the door behind him but Dr. Segal with Corina and Zoe walk in one on each arm like arm candy. Bumping into Phil as they enter. 

Dr. Segal:  How's it going, Hi, Hi. I'm here let the party begin. 

Phil goes to close the door and looks out to the audience. The spotlight focuses on him. The rest of the cast greet each other , and talk give hugs and hellos. They all grab drinks that Martha is holding on a tray. 

Phil: I decided to throw a party. Because I never do these kind of things: Normally I like a nice quiet night in with my fiance, Martha. Or a night on the town at a play, an intimate blues bar or a open air concert. But not in my house, I'm not to found of having people in my house. But these are my friends.

Pause, looks at the group. 

A motley crew of misanthropes; self-doubters the lot of them. But aren't we all? They hide it well though, don't they? Dr. Segal there, with the ladies by his side. A plastic surgeon. He has devoted his life, specifically, to enlarging the mammary glands on the already well-endowed women: Women such as Corina, The young woman on his left. 

Corina laughs, pushes her chest out, and gives Dr. Segal a slap on the shoulder

Corina didn't always look like that. Nor did any of us really want her to. She's beautiful, in her own way. Then there's Zoe who's thinking of surgery herself, but isn't sure. Why you ask? Because she isn't sure of anything or at least that's what I think. She sure seems to know everything. 

Zoe steps back from the other two and raising one hand begins to yatter in a way that the others two roll their eyes at her

Phil:  Jen and Tom, have a dysfunctional/ destructive relationship if there ever has been one. They can fight about anything; where the sun sets. What time it is on the moon. If an orange was purple what would it be called? But then they have, or so I've been told, knock out sex. Isn't that the way though? 

Jen and Tom seem to be arguing about something of near the kitchen table 

And then there's Tammy, poor, poor Tammy. We've been calling her that for years now. Nothing that we know of has ever gone her way. Her father left when she was four, then her mother died on her when she was five. She was shipped off and raised by a grandmother who didn't believe in children. Lucky for her she died when she was Ten. Then many foster-homes. And she disappeared for a good five years. These things are not mentioned in the group. None of ask and she doesn't share. Since she came back her luck has even gotten worse. If there is a chair leg to catch a toe on , she will. If she jumps a green light, she'll get t-boned by another car. If she dates a nice guy. An aspiring doctor...and don't let her know I told you this... he'll end up being the doctor only so much as that he'll get caught dismembering the neighbourhood cats. 

Tammy goes to sit down and falls of the chair. Spilling her drink on herself 

Then there is Martha and I, We've been together six years now. One day soon I am going to ask for her hand... I didn't know I could love someone this much. And this is my party which I have been planning for two weeks. Now you are all up to speed let's jump in and see where this goes. 

Martha is handing out food still and the doorbell rings again. Stage lights up and Phil walks over to answer the door. 

Rhon:  Hey buddy boy! Gives Phil a hug then pushes him 

Phil: Where's Liz?

Rhon:  She's on her way. She wanted to bring her own car so she could leave when she wanted to from work. 

Rhon Takes of his coat and drops it on the couch, Phil goes to close the door and Liz enters with God slightly behind her. She runs in leaving the door open, God wanders in as the attention is on Liz 

Liz: Rhon, Rhon. I won! I won the award for my composition! 

She runs across the room and hugs Rhon. Rhon raises a glass in his hand to toast her 

Rhon: A toast, To Liz, who just won some epic award for which I assume is a beautiful musical composition. 

Everyone raise their glasses, cheer and then drink deeply. Then the girls jump up and down in excitement and joy. Before going back to what they were doing. Lights dim. God Stands beside the couch examining the room, Hands behind his back, Tipping forwards on his feet. Phil goes and closes the door and turns to the audience. Spot light on Phil 

Phil: Then there's Rhon and Liz. There's not a better couple out there, as far any of us can tell. And If I have to admit it I'm bit jealous of their relationship. Supportive and loving, disgustingly perfect. And then there's this... 

Pauses looks at God hand stuck in air and confused 

This Guy who I have never seen before. Who is this guy? 

Stage lights up Phil walks over to Liz and Rhon who is excitedly talking to Rhon.

Phil:  Who's your friend? 

Liz: Who?

Phil: Dude with the beard. He came with you didn't he? 

Liz:  Never seen him before. 

Everyone looks at God who is now watching the TV. Music changes to christian Gospel 

Rhon: Who is this guy? And What's with the music? 

Phil:  Martha can we put on a different CD? 

Martha walks over to change the CD but it keeps playing as she pulls out the CD as she holds it. She looks dumbfounded. Phil walks over to God 

Phil:  Hi There. 

Looking quizzical, God just smiles, a kind generous smile 

God: Good day, Sir. 

Phil: Umm, Might I ask who you came with? Who you came with? 

God pauses for a second, glances around the room and back to Phil. Some are looking at him, Liz, Rhon, and Tammy are paying attention to what he's saying. All others are conversing about there places and do not hear what he is about to say

God: I am God 

Looking puzzled like he doesn't understand the question 

Phil: God? As in Godfry. Right? 

God: No, no, no. God. 

Glances till he locks eyes towards Martha direction 

Ask Martha. 

Phil: Oh, you're a friend of Martha's. 

God: Yes and no. But she'll understand. 

Phil: God. Okay, God. I see. 

Lights dim again, spotlight on God. Rest of the cast freezes. 

God: To the audience. People simply do not understand. Was I to believe that they honestly would? God is not something that comes and talks to one Saturday night. Something, someone? That just shows up in your living room. God is supposed to be ethereal, everlasting and above all else, somewhere else; Somewhere mystical and above the clouds. Or trenched deep within one's heart: not standing on your carpet in your front room. How can I make them understand who I am? Well I cannot; they simply do, or they do not. 

Lights back to full 

Phil: God then.

God: To audience And Phil here does. 

Phil: May I introduce you to my friend, Moses, Jesus and Mary. Snickers 

God: I see. Sarcasm is the lowest form of humour. Has no one ever told you that, Phil? 

Phil looks slightly shocked 

Phil: How do you know my name? 

God: I told you Phil, I am God. 

Phil: I see. 

God: Need I prove this to you somehow? 

Phil:  That may be a way to get over this awkwardness, no? 

God: No. 

Phil: No? 

God:  Yes, yes, of course. How might I prove this to you?

Phil:  Snapping his fingers What was the name of the dog I had in high school? God responds quickly

God: Skippy 

Phil:  Where did I lose my Blanket when I was four? 

God: You didn't, your mom threw it out? Taken aback and surprised but determined to catch him 

Phil: Fine then, what is my favourite food? 

God:  Chocolate: which is odd, thought not as odd as the fact, bearing in mind the aforementioned fact, that you have never had a cavity. Thanks to me. He winks and giggles 

Phil:  And what... 

God:  Toothpaste. 

Phil: Where... 

God: Georgetown. 

Phil:  Stepping back But... 

God: Spruce street, a quarter past five or quarter after five, Simultaneous multiple partners, a lakeside resort on the edge of Owen Sound, A four hundred dollar plate, the grass behind your house, with-in the bushes, Dying cats and teddy bear named Woo-woo you lost while searching for your little sister when she was lost one foggy May morning.

Phil: Head dropping Woo-woo. 

God: Speaking in a Jamaican accent Yah Phil. I'm da real ting mon. And to answer you next question, I am here to raise my praise. People jus don believe anymore. Don believe in anything. And we all need somethin' to believe in, right mon. I am da lord and Savior. But if yu need some more proof.... Raises his hands above his head 

Phil: No, No, that's alright. I'll play along. 

God:  Normal voice Are you sure? I have this amazing dancing elephant that will materialize at a moments notice. Doesn't make a mess. It's the dearest little thing I have ever seen. 

Phil: No, I'm certain. But, could you do me a favour? I know you want to raise your praise and all, but could you keep the preaching to a minimum? I have been planning this party for a couple of weeks and really, well religious talk is such a downer. We just want to have fun. 

God: Kicking his at the ground, head hung low, eyes looking up puppy-dog like Aww come on, I need to help people , help them understand that's there's something out there looking out for them. 

Phil: Please. Begging 

God: Oh All right, I'll try. 

Phil: Try? If memory serves me right, you tried a few things a few times before and they have hardly worked out properly.

God: British accent Scotch, ma boy, I kna yu have a bottle a twenty five under yu bed. 

Phil:  Smiles I was saving that for a special occasion. 

God:  Well that special occasion is here. 

Martha:  Having made her way over to God Rod is it? My, my you should be wearing more clothing: it's cold out there. 

God:  Do you know what might warm me up? 

Martha: Pigs in a blanket? 

God: Yup. Pigs in a blanket. Smiles 

Phil walks over to help Martha grab the food

Phil: It's god you know that don't you? 

Martha: Yes of course I do. Who wouldn't know God? 

Dr. Segal walks over quickly. God walks of to the food table. Picks up the crab dip that Tammy brought, Snif s it and gives a troubled face. Puts it back down 

Dr. Segal:  Who is that?

Phil: He's God. 

Dr. Segal: With a smile on his face Let's look at this rationally, shall we. God, the being who created the universe, who created the prototypes for you and me. Who keeps the world spinning, who sends the sun up and the moon down. Or whatever it is that happens there. The big guy in the sky. He's here in your living room. The man with a plan, all the answers. 

Corina overhears and comes over with Zoe in tow 

Corina: This is stupid. If he has all the answers I don't care! All that matters is how you look and what you have. Everyone knows that. 

Zoe: OMG! Corina come on that's not true. What about sad people: They need our help to make them happy. Like makeup and stuff. 

Corina: Laughs loud and claps here hands like she has a great idea I know everybody feels better when you get a good haircut. Looking with wide eyes like she has a secret to share. We should start a club or crowd funding or group or facebook or whatever to give make-up workshops in Africa or hair extensions to the poor. 

Both Girls squeal in delight and give each other a high five 

Both: OMG YEAAA!!! 

Phil looks dumbfounded and looks back to Dr. Segal to finish his conversation. Both girls talk among themselves 

Phil: Umm, anyway sure, To answer you. Why not? I mean why not? Don't you...

Dr. Segal: Believe in God? Sure, sure. Why not. I believe in God But The guy with the beard over there is trying to steal your gold pen. 

Phil: Pointing at God Hey, hey put that down! 

God: Looking startled It's a beautiful pen Phil, lovely Fine gold. 

Phil: Yeah, well you can see why I would be a little nervous about it then. 

God:  Indeed. 

Dr. Segal and Phil walk over to where God is 

Phil: And you might expect that I will Question why you have chosen to visit me. Tonight of all nights. 

God: Indeed 

Spot light on Phil 

Phil: To Audience A rope walks into a bar and orders a beer, The bartenders says, Says we don't serve ropes here. The the rope bends over and shows him the top of his head and says fraid knot? No, wait that's not the one I wanted. Slaps himself on the knee Guy walks into a party and says, “ I'm God.” No, that's not nearly as funny. Guy throws a party and everything that could go wrong goes wrong. And God walks in.

Tom:  To Phil smugly I see you are humouring the deity this evening Phil. 

Phil: So you don't believe? 

Tom: I do believe in God. I don't believe that that is him. I know God and his will: you know I am one of the faithful, one of his flock. I understand the heart and mind of God. I hate to say it Phil. But I am closer to God, more than any of you.

Jen:  I don't believe it's him either. But let's have fun with him. 

Phil Hangs his head as his friends walk past him. He turns around to find that the rest of the party members have gathered around God 

Dr. Segal: Those are some hefty bags under your eyes, old timer. Drop by my clinic and I could help you out with those. 

Martha hands God a snifter of scotch

Zoe: Like, where do you stand on abortion? 

Corina: Can you make me Prettier? 

Rhon: When I look into the night sky I can only see so far, right? I want to know what the edge of the universe looks like. 

Everyone is there surrounding God 

Liz:  Where is the most beautiful place on Earth?

Phil: Once we have figured out DNA what will we know? 

Jen: To Phil Why would he care about that? 

Tom: To Jen Why would he not? 

Jen: Where do you even come up with such dumb things to say? 

Tom: Oh-for-crying-out-loud Jen! Why can't you just agree on one thing for once? 

Jen: You always say that! I have my own thoughts, I don't like when you say I argue. Last time you did that I washed your shirt and nothing is ever good enough for you. 

Tom: What the hell are you talking about? They both walk of arguing getting softer as they walk away. Improve argument from here. Everyone turns back to God to ask more questions. But not loud. Silent but dramatic actions. Music louder like a Montague 

Tammy softly speaks as music drops almost shy like 

Tammy: What is luck? 

The party slips into slow motion but for God and Phil 

God:  Looking mournfully towards Phil You know Phil, You weren't selected at random. Your house was chosen. Wilfully selected. Let me tell you why I am here, Phil. Going into salesman mode People have managed to get the wrong idea about me Phil. My message has been bastardized to the point where I cannot tell what these people are talking about anymore. You have all made it more difficult than it needs to be. They've taken my words and ruined them. Changed them. Switched them up and spat them back out in odd formations to feed their own ego's. Someone should just ask me what I am talking about. Not these single little questions. These insignificant whims. Ask me what it is I mean by it all. 

Phil: God, What are you talking about? 

God:  Ask me what it all means. What this world is all about. 

Phil:  What's it all about God? 

God:  Beats me. Giggles 

Rest of the party snaps back out of slow motion and God and Phil are in there original places 

Tammy: Why were all my loved ones taken from me so early on in life? 

Jen comes back as Thom pouts in the corner by the food. She interrupts pushes her way in, then Thom follows back with a frown on his face 

Jen: Is true love a reality? Or some sort of chemical bullshit? 

Tom: Why are you asking this guy anything? He's not God! 

Jen: How do you even know? Well? How could you know? It might be possible! 

Tom: I, I, well I'd just know. I mean God doesn't come and start nattering to people in their living rooms, some night. Does he! 

Martha: He could. 

Liz: Is music truly the greatest divine blessing? 

Rhon: okay, so what I find hard to swallow, is what religion is selling. It seems flawed, in a way that is beyond explanation. Hypocritical, controlling, and self-centred. I think that is the problem. Self-centred. Seriously though, I use to look up into the nights sky when I was a kid and wonder what was up there, all night long, watching the stars move and the clouds and the moon. Then one day I found out that it was us that was moving and not the stars. Or that the stars had already moved and what I was seeing was not even there anymore. They were just what was left of what was once there. Like that flicker when you turn off a TV at night. And seriously listen I couldn't go to church any more. I mean, If I can stare at something with my own eyes like that, something that doesn't even exist anymore, and the lights are beautiful. The earth moves on its own accord, and all this, all this stuff was actually created by something. I was damned certain that it, whatever it was that created all of this, was not going to care whether or not I stuffed myself into a little blue suit every Sunday morning and sang songs about how much I loved him. And how much I praised him. Come on wasn't Sunday supposed to be a day off anyway? 

Everyone stops and looks at Rhon rant. For a moment when he's done silence. Then in unison to God 

Everyone: Aren't you going to give us any answers?

God looks tired, settles down in a seat. Martha grabs a drink and brings it to God and a small plate of pigs in a blanket. He smiles at her and sips his scotch and closes his eyes to enjoy it 

Martha: Let's all leave him alone for a moment, give him some space you guys.

Cast but Phil walks back to the food table talking to themselves 

God: He makes me sound like I've been neutered or something. 

Phil: We are not supposed to know the face of god, Or so we have been told.

God:  Not supposed to know? Who decided this? Shaking his head at the statement 

Phil:  Only his work. 

God: My work. Hmm. But not me. The product but not the inventor. 

Phil: But are we to thank you? 

God:  Thank me? For what? For what I have done for you? But not know who or what you are thanking? 

Phil:  Does it sound odd? 

God:  A little. Might I have a moment alone?

Phil: Certainly. 

Phil walks over to where Tom is standing, Jen Kissing Thom Passionately, God looks likes talking to someone, then sips his drink quietly. As Thom Phil is there and pushes Jen of of him 

Phil:  Tom, you don't believe that God is right there do you. 

Tom:  Oh he's here. He resides in our churches and cathedrals and in our hearts. He's all around us. Watching, judging every moment of our existence.

Phil: So, you don't believe that he could come to earth and talk to us? 

Tom: If he did, who would believe him? Unless he turned the sky into fire, and the world to salt. He would show the power of who he is. 

Jen: Yea right, he's right! 

Stage Darkens, spotlight on Phil. Who walks to the front of the stage. Rhon walks over to God. And you can see them starting a deep debate. Can only see actions no words

Phil: Well, I do. We've made him human. Sometimes some of us; If we care at all to look outside of ourselves for answers. But then, most of us are too busy for that anyway. Doesn't it seem that the stranger things get the more willing we are to accept them? The tabloids draw our eyes their stands at the grocery stores. Tweets build fear. Facebook isolates us. We don't know how to be friends anymore. The news that people have won millions in a lottery, keeping us buying and wanting and hoping that in someway or some how our number will come up and we will finally win. We have lost faith in anything tangible. And as we lose faith we begin believing more and more in things, like televangelists, products that will make us beautiful. People that lie to us and we want them too. Trying to be perfect trying each to be a God in our own right, hoping one more person will push the like button to make us closer to perfection. We have created a God so far from who he is here in my living room, that we can't even see who he is now. Or understand. No one has direct recourse to the Lord. 

Lights come back on and Rhon Is beside God. Phil walks over in mid-conversation. 

Rhon: So, you see what I mean? No, no seriously, if we live in a multi-dimensional universe. The introduction of infinity proves that a God could not exist in this wider sense of multiple infinitives of north, east, west, south, up and down. Time, God. Time could not exist if God does. What we have is a world within which we are attempting to link existing things, things we can touch and see. Like this glass of wine. Holds up glass of wine Like wise cannot see, like time, or infinity, or God. And that makes sense. Doesn't it? 

God: You cannot multiply infinity times infinity, then interject variables with an earthly construct. Quantifying the equation and expect there to be a big equal sign n the end. Counting things out on his fingers 

Phil:  So then we made God. We made God for the answer to these questions?

God: Yes, that is entirely possible. The world spinning in infinity without a leader, without a God. So, there is no God. No, wait a moment... There is Dammit you guys, I'm God. 

Phil, and Rhon Snicker At God for a moment Tom walks over near the end of god speaking 

Tom: Extending his hand Right then, God I'm Moses. Would love to talk to you a little longer but there's Sea somewhere that needs to be parted. Tom walks off laughing 

Phil: You could have said something. 

God:  I don't bother with his type. He has his own perception of who I am, what I do. I could do anything I wish to him, but he's still going to be looking for a bloody tear to come off of some manikins face or a bush to spontaneously combust. It's easier to let him live his life. Let him live simply. Than show him the truth of who I am. Like I said before the message has been lost in time. The ultimate telephone game. 

Phil: So the faithful are wrong? 

God: Hand to chin No, not wrong. But blind faith in anything will get you killed. 

End of Act I

Act II 

TV is on. Rhon Flicks remote begins to press buttons. God remains sitting munching on pigs on a blanket and sipping on his drink 

TV: In Syria today, UN troops are gaining access to previously un... On highway 7 today at 2:00am just east of Peterborough, Five teens driving what is believed in excessive speed crashed into a tree. Alcohol may have been a factor. All Five teens... For only $29.99 plus shipping and handling. That's right Greg, we pay the shipping and handling this time. What Fran We do?... It's generally our notion that, upon discovering his men bogged down in heavy snow of a Russian winter. Napoleon chose, against the wishes of his commanding officers and advisors, to continue on, but what was he expecting to find in Russia that... Show me the way to go home, everybody now, I'm tired and wanna go to bed.

Phil: Hey Rhon turn up the music, turn that thing down. More party man. 

Martha while walking across the room, takes the remote from Rhon and places it back on the TV, music plays softly in the background 

Martha: What is it I have to do to live a good life? Sorry to bother you, I really am, but I have been asking myself this question for so long now and I need to know the answer. 

God: Slow, steady, psychiatrists voice Need. Need as a word, if I am correct, normally signals something which, were one to not receive it, one might very well die? Well, will you die if you do not receive an answer, Martha?

Martha:  Looking at the couch, running her finger up and down the seam of the arm rest I suppose not. But will I be allowed into heaven?

Phil: Wanders over and sits beside Martha Yes, is there a heaven? I've always wondered that myself. 

God: Well, a while ago I rented this warehouse location on Roosevelt Island and now we get those souls packed in there nice and tight. 

Martha:  What!?! 

God: Giggling No, Martha I'm kidding. I'll have to leave that up to your imagination. But yes to live a good life Martha. I will tell you a secret Motions for her to come closer Rubber bands. You must collect more rubber bands. 

Martha nods her head and stands, when she passes the TV, there is an elastic on it and she takes it 

God: Turns to Phil I've realized over time I'm not that good with people, Phil. I often forget how ridiculously low their sense of humour is. 

Dr. Segal: At the kitchen Table But Club Monaco is the new big thing. Those Tight little tops that show off the ladies belly-rings. And the skin. Short, short, short. Legs, legs legs. 

Zoe: Club Monaco? Like, whatever. I spend, like a thousand on a shirt I can wear it like forever. Club Monaco cost like Fifty bucks. 

Dr. Segal: You could wear it forever? But do you?

Zoe: Guuuroossss, NEVER! 

Dr. Segal: Nothing I like more than a woman in a tight sweater. Takes Corina's hand and smiles I really do appreciate the subtlety of a woman. I know that sounds hypocritical being a surgeon in the art of plastic. But to me seeing a beautiful angel filling a sweater, where a lot is left to the imagination...mmm...mmm 

Corina: Sweaters! But they hide so much. They're so, regular. I mean, Like, I mean. They hide everything. 

Dr. Segal: And there is beauty in that, isn't there? In the unknown about another person? 

Zoe: No, there isn't. We should be able to judge people without talking to them.

Jen:  Well, maybe if boobs are all you have then... 

Zoe:  Take that back! Waving her finger at Jen 

Jen: Why do you immediately assume I am talking about you? 

Zoe: Take it back! Jen: Well, it's true. 

Zoe: You don't mean it. Take it back!

Jen:  I do, and I won't! 

Zoe: Why do you have to be such a bitch? 

Jen: I just say what I know. 

Zoe:  Well maybe you should, like, think about keeping some of these things to yourself, do you know what I mean? 

Jen: Honesty is a virtue. Right God? Looks across the room at God 

Spot light falls on God, the rest of the room slips into slow-motion. God speaks to the audience 

God:  Petty disputes. What makes them think that I can solve their Problems? Who was it that said, all of your dealings with one another, your financial troubles, your social concerns, your love and loss of love take them to god. Send them my way. I can fix it. In the dead of night when you have just hung up the phone with the only person you ever believed you would be able to love. Who has just told you that you unfortunately are not the one for them. Well, yell to good old God. Tell him your troubles. You've driven your car into a wall because your high. Lying there in your own stupid pool of blood and cry out to God. Maybe God can turn back time, you'll think, maybe God is the answer here. Then while you're laying a hospital room, contemplating how ephemeral it all is, how absolutely tragic the world is. How horrible you have been treated, you will say, Why, God, why have you forsaken me? And I will tell you why. Because, dumb-ass you did it yourself. It was was your choice to smoke that joint and text. Not mine. And that person that convinces you to buy Bitcoin but at the last moment you bail.

God: They become rich and you don't. You can't blame them for your lack of courage. You wanting to play it safe. You make choices that dictate your future everyday. I'm not saying hardship won't happen for no reason now and then. Sure born into the wrong part of the world what choice do you have. But definitely you have a choice here. You already won the golden ring. You by being here in this moment of time in this place have won the lottery of life. Every opportunity is given to you. I look out for the ones that need it, the little people. Putting little angels on their shoulder... But these people are beyond my jurisdiction. They've made their own rules and now must live by them. Sorry to say. 

Stage lights back up 

Jen: I'm not saying that you are a bad person, Zoe. Just self-centred and. 

Zoe: What? Self-centred and What? If you are having about of honesty here and all. 

Tom: Simple. 

Phil: Please stop it you guys. 

Zoe: Simple! Simple! What do you mean by that? 

Jen: Maybe more ignorant than simple, actually. I'd say. But that is not a bad thing. You just decided to live your life a different way. Different things are important to you. 

Phil: No really guys please, my party come on don't be mean to each other. We can work this out.

Zoe:  Pfff, like okay. What. The. Hell. 

Dr. Segal:  Laughing All I was saying is that I like a woman in a sweater. But if we're going to be talking like this well Jen, I mean, really, Pot, Kettle, Black. Hahaha 

Zoe: Oh shut up you, you, you pimp. 

Dr. Segal: Whooaa Hahaha. Pimp? Hahahah, let me explain to you what pimp is. 

Zoe: Like, I know what a pimp is. And. And. Why are you all being so mean to me? Starts to cry 

Jen: To Dr. Segal as she puts her hand on Zoe shoulder to support her What do you know about or anything you glorified sculptor! 

Dr. Segal:  I'll take that as a compliment. Hahaha 

Zoe: What did I do wrong? 

Jen:  What is it that I said so wrong? Or awful? It's just the truth. 

Tom: I wish this never started. Why can't you just keep your mouth shut? Why do you have to fight with everyone at every moment? 

Phil: Guys, guys, my party remember?

Corina: I think my left Boob is bigger than the right one. Can anyone see this?

Rhon:  Why can't we just get along people. It's the differences that separate us and we have to start finding common ground here. Common you guys. 

Tom: That kind of attitude will get you beat up these days. Hahahaha 

Dr. Segal:  Softly There's more to life than looks. 

Jen: And you would know. 

Tom and Phil both start laughing 

Liz: Guys what's going on? 

Tom And Phil Still laughing 

Jen, Zoe: what you you laughing at? 

In the background Tammy is eating her Crab dip, standing alone. No one else is there after eating it she sits. She waves for help but no one notices. Then leans back and dies with her eyes open. Everyone is focused on Phil who is awkwardly laughing.

Phil:  Ha, Ha, So here's a good one. This guy, he decides to have this party and, Hahaha, makes everything perfect for everyone. For his friends and then, ohh, here's a good one. The Lord almighty shows up and. Hahaha his friends start to fight with one another and Hahahaha, toss some drinks around and insult one another and then, hahahahaha. 

Dr. Segal looks over at Tammy where she is slumped over eyes open, as Phil has his break down. He walks over puts his ear to her mouth and listens for a moment. Picks up her arm and checks for a pulse. Stage goes dark and the spotlight focuses on God. God put his drink down and shakes his head 

God:  This isn't going to be pretty. Lights come up full on the stage 

Dr. Segal: Tammy's dead! He shouts out to everyone. 

Everyone: Dead? 

Dr. Segal:  Dead! 

Everyone: Dead? 

Dr. Segal:  Dead! 

Phil: How? 

Dr. Segal:  Dead!

Rhon:  No, How? 

Dr. Segal: Shrugs his shoulders Might have been something she ate. 

Zoe: I told her to go on a diet! 

Everyone glares at her still in shock. 

Phil: And then, here's the punch line. I mean get this one, It's better than three guys walk-into a bar. A priest, a mime and a drunk Irish man. Or the one about guy and his neighbour wife? Which is a good one. A real good one. This one is better. This guy, see, he throws a party and wants everything to be perfect. But then God shows up and his friends fight and argue. And then, here it is, here's the big one, the clincher. The old whoompa! One of his guests Dies. DIES hahahahahahah 

God: As he eats the crab dip and other things It was the crab Dip. I guess I could have mentioned that but then I got this scotch and got into these conversations and then the ladies here started fighting with one another. 

Rhon: You couldn't have mentioned this? I mean really God. Come on. 

Phil: I let you into my house. For the party. 

Zoe: She was my friend. 

Tom:  I can still remember our night together. Walks over to Tammy strokes her hair 

Dr. Segal: No leave her be.

Everyone sits down at the table then ignores that Tammy in dead. Someone pushes the Crab dip to the end of the table. The stages darkens slightly Music in the background. Death walks in touches Tammy on the arm and she pops up fully animated, Stands and tests out here new body. She seems stronger, more confident, both move to the back of the table and seem in a good happy conversation 

Jen: Wait! What night with her? Thom? I introduced you to her. So if you did anything with her I'll Frig'in lose it I swear to God! 

God Perks up and looks at them points to himself questioningly 

Tom: Aww, Tammy. I feel so betrayed. Jen How could you think this? 

Zoe:  Like, Serves you right. 

Tom: Oh shut it Zoe! 

Phil: My party. 

Rhon: You couldn't have mentioned this? You're God for Christ sake. You didn't get around to mentioning that the Crab dip was going to kill our friend? 

God: Well, I knew the possibility was there that it could maybe, kill her. But things can always go one of two ways. 

Zoe:  Like, whatever. IF you're God, I'm Marilyn Monroe.

Tom: And I'm Moses. 

Jen: And I'm Princess Di. 

Zoe: That's pretty Tasteless. 

Jen:  What do you know about taste? 

Tom: Name one Tchaikovsky Symphony. 

Zoe: Who? Me or her? 

Tom: Either of you. And at the same time points to God Prove you are who you say you are. Prove you're God. Let's get it all figured out here. All the cards on the table. 

Phil: No, no, please don't make him prove anything. The elephant and the destry what's left of my party. And. Oh, please just don't make him prove anything. 

With a big pause, everyone's attention is focused on God he sighs and gets ready to speak 

God:  This girl has an unlucky life and I get the blame when she dies? I didn't make the dip. I didn't make the crab dip with old eggs and old crabs. I didn't take it from the plate and stick it in Tammy's mouth. But I get the blame? See that's what I have been talking about. You all think that I have something to do with this.

Tom: Well, you do have the ultimate control over everything. Right? That's the deal. Your job description. Right? Or will you just admit now you aren't God. 

Phil: Gone, deceased, dead hands flutter in the shape of a bird. Taking off above his head an at my party. The party I have been planning for over two weeks.

Rhon: Oh sweet-Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ Phil. Shut up about the damn party. We get it, we know, but right now things have gone a little sideways here and we have bigger things to think about that that right now. 

God:  There. There is my flaw. Snaps his fingers and points My cosmic joke, my point of break or my cracked vase. You little buggers can only think yourself. Yourself and how you can be better than one another. But, in the end, just yourself. Yourself first and last. Start, middle and end, me, me, me. Do you know how I got here today? I took the subway. While I was standing there on the platform, a woman named Patricia Barker, was severely depressed. Believing the world was to much for her. She was so desperate, to much pain to speak of. Decided to remove her and her child from it. The world that is. Remove herself completely. By jumping , child in arms, in front of a oncoming subway. I was the blind black beggar at the station. You want me to help? Well it's not my job!

Martha: That's awful. 

God smiles sadly at Martha

God:  But this woman beside me, Three piece suit, a couple grand worth of jewellery, late for a business meeting as it was. She began to complain. Complain that she was going to be even later for this meeting. Huffing and puffing. That it would change her world. That it would make more and more money. “Screw this stupid woman, who is dressed like a street person.” She said aloud. Decides to jump in front of a train, I mean come on people, you want to know everything in the world there is to know? Life on mars, eternal happiness, the perfect orgasm, long life and maybe inner peace? Well, compassion is a good start. Compassion and empathy is a damn fine start actually. 

Phil:  And then my guests piss off God. 

Death makes her way to Tammy stands beside her and Tammy instantly comes to life. they talk but know one notices as all focus is on God. Death waves hello to God, God nodded in acknowledgement

Liz:  God: are you okay? 

God: Runs his hands over his face I'm sorry. You are no more to blame than anyone else. But you must understand that it is all about free will. And that is going to shock you all. I mean, especially Tom there who actually believes in me. 

Tom: Looking sheepish and acting defensive I believe in God, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you my friend are not HIM!

God: You are a rarity these days. But no one really has it wrong. Well, except for the Scientologist. They are way out in left field. Anyway I created the earth, and it was good. I created the plants, the sea, the sky, it was all good. Good. Put animals in the mix nice batch of insects all life. Then I got tired or maybe bored I can't remember. So I set the program in motion, a basic free will if you like. It was good. I went away for awhile and I came back and what do I see. It was no longer good. Yu'all screwed it it up. Yu'all forgot a few things changed a few things. But yu'all had yer purposes to fulfill. And and yu'all don't like it. Then you have someone like Tammy here who, tonight, has fulfilled her duties. Who's free-will has brought her to this. And this. 

Lights focus on Death and Tammy 

Phil:  Who is this? 

God: Death. 

Rhon: This old lady is Death? 

Death blows her nose and fixes her glasses and smiles a big smile Tammy Appears beside Death. The rest of the cast realize shes alive and standing

Rhon:  Oh my God, It's Tammy! 

The rest are shocked 

Liz: Tammy I thought you died? 

Tammy: I think I did.

Phil: Wait I thought she died! 

Tom: I told you she wasn't dead. 

Corina:  Tammy Come here, with us. 

Death: No folks we need her with us. 

Phil: Then Death shows up. What a party! 

God: Yes, Gladice here is Death and she does a damn fine job of it to. Don't you Gladice. He raises his glass to Death 

Death: I try. 

God: You've been with me for what? Two, three generations? 

Death: Going on four, God. 

God: Elected by a body of her peers each time. And she still loves the lot of you.

Death: I do, I truly do. 

God: With birth out of the way, and Death taking care of business. I have so much time on my hands. Thank you Gladice.

Death: No Thank you God. 

Dr. Segal: Sounds reasonable to me. 

Rhon: But can't you stop Death? 

God: Sure, why not. Throw a stick in the spokes of history. Why not? But it's none of my business, now is it. 

Rhon:  What if we found a good reason? 

God:  Ahh a salesman. Great, perfect. Hit me with your best pitch, Mr. Lowman.

Rhon: Can I discuss this with my friends? 

God: Certainly, By all means, take your time. 

God rises from his seat with a grunt and joins Death and Tammy behind the table. The rest go join Phil on the couch 

Rhon: What are we going to say? 

Liz: Tell him Tammy's life was horrible and that she deserves a break. 

Jen: Tell him that we could trade some of Corina's hair for Tammy. Or a leg. What are your legs insured for now Corina? Three, four hundred thousand.

Corina:  Like shut up! 

Rhon: Or maybe we could just bribe death? 

Dr. Segal: Cheat him, lie to him, bribe him. Sure, what the hell, hahaha. The whole shebang. Bring her to her knees in negotiation. Tie her up in litigation. Appeal her rulings then jump bail with our Tammy in hand. Hahahah. 

Liz, Rhon, Zoe Tom: Shut up Segal. 

Jen: To Tom You shut up. 

Tom: To Jen No you shut up. 

Jen:  Why do I hate you so much? 

Tom: Talking through clenched teeth Why must I talk through clenched teeth whenever I talk to you? 

Jen: Why... 

Tom: If only... 

The two of them lean into one another and start kissing 

Phil: Two weeks. Two weeks I planned...

Liz: This is never going to work. 

Rhon: We will have to make this work, figure out some loophole never thought of. 

The group come together heads close like they are making plans hands waving and pointing. Death, God and Tammy seem to be in a deep conversation as well. Pointing to the other group. Lights start to fade as music plays up. 

End Of Act II

Act III 

On one side of the table is God, Tammy and death. God and death standing on either side of Tammy who is sitting in the middle seat.. On the other side Tom, Phil, Liz, Rhon and Corina standing. Jen and Tom have moved to the couch and pawing each other. The TV playing old family 8mm home movies in silent mode.

God:  I see you have a couple of non-players on your side. Gestures at Jen and Tom Never-the-less, we should do this properly. Everyone, this is Death, Gladice. God points as he introduces each one to Death. This is Rhon, Liz, Zoe, and Corina, Phil and Martha. Oh of course you, know Dr. Segal. 

Dr. Segal moves across stage towards Death. He sticks his hand out to shake her hand then pulls it away 

Death: Yes, Dr. Segal, I know your work well. Rhon, a Lovely boy, Liz. Liz there are some pianos in the great beyond that you will simply love. 

Tammy: To Liz Sorry I didn't get to talk to you tonight, but that CD you loaned me is on the cabinet by my bed. You can get it back whenever... 

Liz: Aren't you scared? 

Zoe: Like of course she's scared. I mean, She's like dead.

Corina: I'm not sure I understand all this. 

Dr. Segal: You don't have too, dear. 

Tammy:  Actually, I'm not scared. Death told me about where I am going and everything and it sounds nice. And I did put on clean underwear today so we can take the express route. Anyway, I had a huge Visa Bill. Hehe. So all is good. 

Dr. Segal: Hahahaha Good one. 

Rhon: Coughs into his hand Ummmm. 

God: Yes, yes, our salesman. Gladice, these young people would like to discuss the removal of their friend from this earthly plane. If that would be ok with you.

Death: Checking her wrist watch We really haven't the time. I wish we did. 

Liz: Yelling I don't think its fair you are taking Tammy. 

Zoe: Yeah, Like her life sucked and you're, like taking it away from her early and it's wrong. 

Dr. Segal: Well spoken. 

Zoe: Go to hell. 

Corina: Maybe I could do work or something.

Death: Now, now, my children. 

Rhon: Okay. Let's take this back one step. Calmly, Calmly. Tammy is our life long friend, ok? Everyone nods. And she has had a pretty horrible life. If something could go wrong it would. By far the most unluckiest person I have ever known. It was like watching someone being tortured slowly. There has to be a better way to do this this ending I mean. 

Tammy:  Well, it did have its moments. 

Rhon: But it wasn't that great. I mean, your parents, your living conditions, your poor, poor luck. 

Tammy: You make it sound like I should be happy to be dead. 

God beams a big smile 

God: You're losing your defendant. 

Rhon:  Tammy I don't mean it the way you think. What I mean is you deserve to have a little luck fall your way. A chance to turn it around a second chance. And bottom line Tammy we want you with us. 

Tammy:  I kind of like this dead thing. It's tingly. 

Rhon: Tingly? 

Phil: Why did she have to die at my party though?

Death:  It's that easy isn't it? Someone snaps their fingers and someone is dead. There is no research in this no analysis. My team of professionals... 

Phil: Phhhhh 

Death: Who work very hard. 

Phil: Phhhhhhh 

Death: Very hard to get everything organized. Okay what is it Phil? Is there something you would like to tell us? What is it? 

Phil: Absurd! 

Death: Absurd? 

Phil:  Does no one else find this absurd? 

Death: There is nothing absurd about this, young man. This is a very serious business. Where is he going? 

Phil moves away towards the TV and just stares at it.

Tammy: Listen you guys, I don't know why this happened, well I do it was the Crab, but what I mean is this is bigger than me. More important than all of us. I feel like This means something and what I thought was bad luck or sadness or even loneliness, was teaching me something that I needed to learn. I may not understand all the nuances but I feel like for the first time. What I do matters. If you think about it, I will get to see my mom and dad, right Gladice? Gladice Nods her head yes and to me that's a greater gift than anything I have here right now at this time. 

God: Okay folks, time to jump in for a bit here. What I want to mention is that what you are forgetting is that Tammy does not have a choice. Her life was designed this way for a purpose. It was all to teach her for the moments to come. She was being trained to take over for Death. In time she will have the compassion and the grace to help people cross over. Her training started before she was born. Everything she needed to be was planned out every second in time. Tammy nods like she understands and accepts this idea with a smile.

Rhon: What about free-will. You were pretty hip on that before. 

God: It's all part of a system. Systems do not change at the drop of a hat. Everything has a function to the overall purpose. 

Dr. Segal: Devil's advocate here for a second. You tell us all about you, the almighty, your work. Ect, ect. Then you introduce us to you organizational skills. Aka this free-will deal. What, in effect, is a program set in motion to do your work for you while you were elsewhere. Taking a nap and such. Correct? Right, then you introduce us to Gladice who you inform us, is part of a system as well. You can't believe in two systems of thought. You either believe in free-will or fate. Both can't exist. And, whoa is it just me or are there some things here that no longer make any sense?

God: This is getting out of hand. I know I made the rules, but I made them a long time ago and now I cannot recall the sensibility behind them all right now. Searching his pockets 

Rhon: You're contradicting yourself now. 

Dr. Segal:  Now I was never a lawyer but I did go out for Law school before I became a doctor and I must say that... 

God: Giving a stern look finger up Tammy serves a better purpose dead than alive. 

Dr. Segal, Rhon, Liz, Zoe, Corina, Thom, all at once, after a slight pause, say But, Then fire questions fast then they pair of slowly mock talking to each other 

Rhon: An infinite universe. Indeed, But what if is flat? And what if something created it which we can't even fathom. Something outside of cumulative reality than the God we know? Of even stranger what if we are just senescence stuck on an event horizon. On the edge of a Black hole? Existing only for a nano-second, but time being relative we exist for trillions of years before our reality is destroyed by another dimension. An mathematical nominally. Mistake by happenstance. 

Steps aside 

Liz: There is so much beauty in the world. But there is so much hatred and violence. How can I believe or not believe? 

Zoe:  Do we need to know?

Corina: If there is a god, and I’m a saying if, what will it think of us? We inject plastics into ourselves, we pierce our bodies and we plaster them with ink. We shave off bits here, suck out fat there. We don't consider ourselves or others in eight out of ten actions. Or we don't care. I can't believe because too many of us don't seem to care. 

Tom: From the couch, unattached himself from Jen For the moment my belief is strong. 

Jen: My will is strong. 

Phil:  I believe. How could I not. But it's like my party. God created this thing, this world, these existences, and then everyone ruined it on him. 

God: Stop! Silence! 

Lights strumming in the background all actors go to speak but find they cannot, they open and close their mouths like fish on land, god does circles at the centre of the stage like he's in deep thought and concern

God: I came here with the idea of teaching, showing people the problems which exist and possible solutions. And, again, to prove some things to myself. I mean, I had that Job fellow awhile ago, but what did that prove? You need to keep testing and testing and testing till you find a weak spot. The spots where the light gets in and you patch them up. You make them stronger. You make them better. Thicker, Darker, more resilient. But I wasn't expecting all these questions. Or all these people with all these problems. All self-centred, petty little people have confused me. I mean, what am I supposed to do with them? What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to say?

Lights have a soft dim not full, spot light on God, he walks to the front of the stage puts his hands to cover his eyebrows to look out to the audience, to stop the glare. 

God: Rhon, Rhon Grenon. Are you out there? 

Out in the audience is the director of the play Rhon Grenon. On each side of hims is an AD cute with pens in her hair and a clipboard. On the other is a model like woman Possible Girlfriend. Super classy, snobbish air about her. 

Rhon: Right here God. 

Rhon the actor on the stage pipes up and God turns around to answer him then turns back into the light searching the audience.

God: Not you, you fool. You're not even real. 

Phil: What does he mean you're not real? You've come here and really ruined my party. You've drank my wine, filled yourself with my Doritos. 

Rhon: Yeah, I ate his Doritos. I'm real. 

God:  SHHHH! None of you are real. Rhon I know you're out there! 

Rhon G: Yes God what's up? Stands up 

God: What is going on here Rhon? Apparently I am God And have ultimate control over the universe. Right? I don't get it, where were you going with this?

Rhon G: I was trying to show ideals and obedience with conformity and such do not necessary guarantee a good life. Or a good afterlife, whatever the case may be. 

Rhon: Who are you? 

All the cast walks to the front of the stage, stay in character, they stand beside God. Do what you thin your character would do but silently 

Rhon G: I'm you but real. Look forget it. 

Rhon: He's telling me to forget it. Gestures to the other actors Forget it, he's me, But real. No problem, right, Rhon No problem. 

Rhon G and God: Please be quiet. Timing Is very important here they must say it together perfectly 

God:  Rhon, what are you going to do about this play? It has seemed that it has spiralled out of control. 

Rhon G: Well, I had a god handle on what was going on until people started shouting at one another. But that was all planned, in away, as it was, but now…

Jen removers herself from Tom walks to the forefront to face Rhon G.

Jen: So, You're God? This is our friend Rhon, And this guy here points to the Rhon G is the real Rhon who created us all and, of course, we are all just characters in a play? Well, then none of this would matter... That's it I'm leaving, are you coming Tom. 

Tom: I, I don't think so Jen. No, Not this time. 

Jen: Looking angry Fine! Have it your way. I'm sick of you and this dumb group anyway. And just so you know I'm glad this is over. I wanted to end it a long time ago Tom. So screw you! 

Jen runs to the front of the stage jumps of and storms of through the audience and out the back door 

Rhon G: Calm down everyone. It's okay. She can go. I wrote that scene in to get her to leave. I wasn't a big fan of her character anyway. I think I wrote her to pushy. That's why she gets hit by a car now. 

From the back of the theatre doors open, you hear the long screeching of tires and a hard body thump. Hit by car, Out back have a team of make -up artist ready to bandage her hun give her bruising and deep wounds. 

Tom: WHAT?? NOOO, NOT JEN!! Runs after her in hysterical After Tom leaves out the back 

Rhon G: See, now he's all distraught and horrified. Now he has real emotions. Now he feels.

God: Is that what this is all about then? 

Zoe: Okay. Like, what was that? I'm bored and confused and freaked right out and I have things to do tomorrow, I wanna leave too. 

Rhon G: No, Zoe you still have a love interest. And what is this all about? This is all about Said quickly The conceptual reality within the confines of a subversive universe, will only express the complex level of benevolence that a higher manifestation of God Transfers. But we colour our realities in deep conjecture of patronizing subtle passions. I created you, God, with a reality which transgresses all boundaries. There is no logical process or grounds of functionality that readies the mind in a state of perpetual grandeur. With willingness to explore we touch the spiritual bond of life and we express as well as experience the differences that enumerate the belief of something bigger than we are. 

God: Uh-huh. 

Pause 

Zoe: Like really, A love interest? For real? Okay I'll stay. 

She sits on the edge of the stage looks out pick a cute none actor in audience and flirt with the person. Try to convince him/ her to come and chat and eventually on stage. At this point the food crew will start to move food in slowly and quietly on the side of the audience 

Rhon: It wouldn't actually be for real though would it? If we are just actors and all in a play?

Rhon G: Don't get bitter now Rhon, whos to say what is real and what instinct. How do you know if I'm just and actor playing a part in a bigger play or reality. It could be endless. 

Rhon:  I have my own mind. I am real. 

Rhon G: I can prove you're not. 

God:  Here we go. 

Rhon: Okay, Go ahead. 

Rhon G: Think of a Number between zero and one hundred. 

Rhon: Okay got it. 

Rhon G: Forty-two 

Rhon: Uh-uh... No. uh. 

Rhon G: Yes it was. 

Rhon:  Clenching his teeth as he says it Fine it was! 

Rhon G: Go sit down big boy. 

Rhon G and Rhon Sit down at the same time in the same pose.

Rhon G: Carry on with the play now. We'll talk , After the show. 

*** Ref. 58 PG 

God: Wait. So if you created me then I am not god? 

Rhon G: That's not true at all. God is the ultimate power in the universe according to some. I can't Create God. Only God Can create God if God even exists. Which I can't prove... or disprove. I just wanted to challenge people's thinking. That's all. People are so damn set in there ways sometimes. I mean, don't people want to see different things? Different views? Visit a concept they never experienced before? Life is about experience and all the times we can see things differently, added to a whole of who we become. 

Zoe should at this point should have dragged someone up to stage to come and get food. Other audience plants should be making there way up trying to bring someone with them 

God: So I am God. 

Rhon G:  Yes 

Phil:  I want you to know mister, whoever you are. Pointing to Rhon G in the audience That I know who I am and I am not a character in a play. I am a man who spent a great deal of time putting together a party which has been, for all intensive purposes. The cast Laughs at him I have parents and a pet, and a woman here who... more laughter What are you guys laughing at?

Rhon G: Look Phil. None of this, is in the play. Now I put a lot of time into this play and would really appreciate it if you would, you know, follow the script. 

Phil Stares out into the audience. The light goes to his eyes as god turns back to the party. Phil stares for a moment then turns around and sits back down at the table. With his head in his hands he yells 

Phil: LINE! 

Guy with a cue-card steps out from the side and shows it to Phil so the audience can see it 

Cue-card guy: So you are the creator of the universe then. And this is all a joke.

Phil: In a tired and defeated voice So you are the creator of the universe, God. And all this is an elaborate joke and laughs hard and long But me, I've been planning this party for weeks now and nobody seems to care. 

God: No Phil It's all real. You've done a great job. But I think that maybe this is what I've worried about all this time. I guess the world is doing ok and As the side tables of food and drink get placed food crew get slightly louder, not as careful. Talking saying is it ready improve at this point. Ask people closest if they want a drink or a bit to come and get it. Actors on stage will have to compensate at this point that people do look out for one another every so often and that in the long run will all do fine. Right Rhon? 

Rhon: What's this God?

God:  Not you. Quiet voice Rhon. Rhon Grenon. I'm a little worried. I'm a little scared how does this all end? 

Silence from the audience 

God: Softly Mr. G? How does this all end? The party. 

Rhon G: Louder God, we can't hear you! 

God: How does this all end? 

God pauses no one says anything, makes his way slowly with Tammy and Death. They all leave out the front door 

Phil: What was that? 

Rhon: Huh? 

Liz: Where were we? 

Zoe: What was that? 

Dr. Segal:  We have just witnessed something miraculous. 

Rhon: What was it? 

Liz: Yes, what ?

Phil: It's a pretty good party, isn't it? 

Rhon: I've had a blast. 

Liz: Are we purposefully not talking about God being here? 

Phil:  Who? 

Rhon:  Who? 

Zoe:  Who? 

Dr. Segal: Who? 

Liz: Okay. Who? 

Phil: Much better. Welcome to my party. There are more people to come, I welcome you all with open arms. I think. We'll just wait and see what happens next.

Party Continues this will grow from page 58 any free hands will join on stage at this point and help pull friends and family up or to tables on the side lights will finally rise full in the audience. But will happen slowly from page 58. so subtle you cant notice it should take about 7 minutes till full. All Chartres even ones that left will come back and join in the fun. Make small talk, engage people full talking now, normal voice. Some will dance and lots of laughter. Create a real party. The goal is to make an amazing transition into real life., the goal is to have no one clap no ending to the play. All behind the scene crews will join now eat, talk about the play enjoy the success of what has happened and let go of the reality that has been created. If we do this right we will blur the lines and will give the audience an experience of a lifetime. Thank you for all your hard work and bask in the wonderful thing you have created 

One last thing as the music plays God will read “New.” As long as he wants. A key style writing that challenges the way you think. Join the party when the timing is right for you 

God: It isn't love, but it is better than nothing. As monsters run wild inside of me. I can feel your soul. But the question is. If dimensional shifts are a real construct of a multi-verse, and all possibilities are real. Then it lends itself not only to experience all aspects of love and loss. But as prophets say, to be everyone in every situation and experience all realities. Maybe the true nature of love is the sadness of what we already know to be true. And that is to hold on to hope. That in this moment of fleeting desire we seek it to be different than all realities that we have witnessed before. Or maybe it's just dumb luck, and being stupid with the choices we make that end up breaking the continuity necessary to find that one willing to work as hard as you do to make love last... 

Is that the meaning of existence? 

Do you think I can see your soul?

Do we choose what to forget? 

Are you the answer to the question I have asked all my life? 

Forgotten along the way no place is safe for us to lay our weary head. Two hearts beating. Is this all we know? I tell you now we are not ready for the truth. As far as I can tell we hide from what is offered all around us. Every part of the world is angry at what is to come. But high with our heads in the sand as a fee is paid to crazy... Raise the Goddamn alarm, both middle fingers raising to the sky. One question we haven't been able to answer yet is how do we break the chains of capitalistic greed? Enslaving all that buy into a system of empty promises and high hopes. Since when do we allow corporations to decide in the matters of love, freedom, free-will, ideas, health, science, passions, morals, values, environment and life? A marketing wet dream of sheeple walking doe eyed into the grinder. Homogenized pale realities swallowing one red pill at a time. Laughing the whole way loudly, blinders on, crying inside, screaming for sweet release. How can I explain the infinite to you if we can't grasp the lack of survival we seem to adapted to without a touch of nature. 

Feather touches the mind of entropy, brushing utopia around the corner. Ideas and ideals brought forth by constant thoughts hell bent on saving humanity. As the masses fight tooth and nail to destroy all that we know. A collective autistic nature, allowing institutions to lead us down a path of paranoia and greed. Selling phantom pocket ringtones, created in the cerebral cortex a basic animal instinct to be sold bought controlled keeping us further from our true self. Keeping us yearning for connection, even if its forgotten in the depths of time. Warning signs of cold nights to keeps us safe and alive. Are we getting better generation after generation? Right now we seem to collectively want a reset but don't know how to accomplish this task. A hard reboot. But the system has grown past anyone's self control. We hope that religion will guide us to the next time. Laughing that this is the start of the road to ruin. Fulfilling the prophecy that we decided long ago that we do not want to be here any longer. 

How is it possible that the masses have decided this delusional state of mind? Willing to challenge life itself to its very core. Does cancer know of its existence? Manipulation of idol passive conquests. Steer us into non-reality voids. Painting colour apon colour. As our perception gives way to chaos. Disintegrating terror gives us hope that we are not sheep that we really are. Safety in anxiety of a world gone mad, we have watch all empires fall.

Wheels grinding , screeching and folding as humanity is perforated into bite size portions. Fed miss-information, lies and miss-steps. Taking us to the brink of loss. 

Two minutes to twelve... 

Extinction grows closer… 

Pockets of us see a clear path a picture if you will. How to wake us up to survive. Answering questions on how to build on what has been destroyed. The more we hold on to our own reality and try to control it. The more we lose control of the awesome nature that life it self has to offer. We have to start to understand our nature. The will to feel what is real all around us. Seeking those moments of clarity wrapped in a soft blanket and a warm hot chocolate. Mother is coming folks. She is waking up. She will set us straight once again. On a paths of balance one way or another she will show us what her truest self is. Holding our hand like impetuous children we are. Time out, nose in the corner, looking over our shoulder waiting for the punishment to end. But my dear reader/ listener. I paint an easy picture in your head. If we pick our fight now... 

If we wait. We will see the witch rise and all hell will break loose. A wash of fury that not one human in the existence of humanity has ever seen. It will be a cleansing like no other. There will be no record to keep. Now idols to worship. Not one person will be safe. Some may survive, some may even grow. But not like now. Time will have wiped the memories clean. You know I'm right. Think about it my friend. Inside you is the actual light of the universe longing to know itself. 

It isn't love, but it is better than nothing. As monsters run wild inside of me. I can feel your soul. But the question is. If dimensional shifts are a real construct of a multi-verse, and all possibilities are real. Then it lends itself not only to experience all aspects of love and loss. But as prophets say, to be everyone in every situation and experience all realities. Maybe the true nature of love is the sadness of what we already know to be true. And that is to hold on to hope. That in this moment of fleeting desire we seek it to be different than all realities that we have witnessed before. I once heard, dreaming of what the world has taught me about love. Soothing complex fears wrapped in a neatly, tight, red ribbon. In that vision of truth. Don't ever question the deep burden I carry for you. My passion for you encompasses all. Let the dimensions cry for sweet release. It has given us the only way we can be who we need to be. Can it be as simple as you expect it to be? Passions remembered. Never giving up, never willing to fall. Making sure that all left behind will learn the lesson of true love. Beyond all expectations, beyond all hope. It isn't love, but it is better than nothing. I once heard. Dreaming of what the world has taught me about love. As monsters run wild inside of me. Soothing complex fears wrapped in a neatly, tight, red ribbon. I can feel your soul. In that vision of truth. But the question is. Don't ever question the deep burden I carry for you. If dimensional shifts are a real construct of a multiverse, My passion for you encompasses all. And all possibilities are real. Let the dimensions cry for sweet release. Then it lends itself not only to experience all aspects of love and loss. It has given us the only way we can be who we need to be. But as prophets say, to be everyone in every situation and experience all realities. Can it be as simple as you expect it to be? Maybe the true nature of love is the sadness of what we already know to be true. Passions remembered. And that is to hold on to hope. Never giving up, never willing to fail. That in this moment of fleeting desire we seek it to be different than all realities that we have witnessed before. Making sure that all left behind will learn the lesson of true love. We are the grandest illusion ever created. Beyond all expectations, beyond all hope. Stepped in, time is up, here we go! Feel the wind on your face, the sun in your eyes. Blue all around you. Paradise found.