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myonepiece · 4 years ago

Note

yeo! i love your writing, don’t know if you take request, so feel free to ignore but could you do some headcanons of mihawk, luffy, and sabo with a partner who has really bad social anxiety and how they help them after a bad day? thank you so much!!

Hi! I do take requests- I’m sorry if I took awhile to answer, I havent checked my requests cuz I didn’t think anyone would request something ;-;

Here I hope this is what you wanted! <3

Mihawk, Luffy, Sabo headcanon- S/O who has severe social anxiety (+ oneshot)

Warnings: none

Mihawk

•Mihawk is very good with this- he’s generally a very calm man which is needed during an anxiety attack

•He would never force you to come anywhere public with him, and would try to have most meeting over den den mushi calls so he could stay at home with you

•He would stay by your side wherever you went so that you would feel secure knowing he’s right there if you need him for anything

•Would notice right away if you were uncomfortable and he would move to stand in front of you so you’ll hopefully feel like you have some privacy

•Would also let you hide your face in his chest, doesn’t matter who it’s in front of

•If you start to have an anxiety attack, he’ll stop whatever meeting he’s in or whatever conversation he’s having, and immediately take you home

•He would offer to make you anything you want to eat or if you want to talk about it

•Would run a bath for the two of you and let you lay on his chest while he tells you stories of his adventures and battles

•Before bed he would sit with you by the fireplace or the window and simply stroke your hair until you fall asleep

Oneshot~

You had agreed to come with Mihawk to one the seven warlord meetings, only because he had said he had a date planned for the two of you after. But now you were face to face with a giant man who towered over everyone in the room. Your heartbeat spiked and your breathing started to become uneven as you tried to get Mihawks attention, only to be blocked by the evil man covered in a fluffy pink coat. You felt your heart beat even faster, your face lost all color, you felt like your legs had become jelly. You quickly looked around for your boyfriend, who was engaged in a conversation with Bartholomew Kuma. Doflamingo started speaking with that devilish sneer but you couldn’t hear anything going on over your heartbeat. Mihawk, who had finished talking to Kuma, took immediate action as he saw the panic in your eyes. He swiftly made his way to you and pulled you into his side and kissing your forehead. He held your head against his coat as he said goodbye to Doflamingo, then led you out of the building and to his boat. He sat with you in his lap while he stoked your hair and whispered soothing words until you reached his castle. Mihawk carried you inside and set you down in the kitchen while he fetched a bottle of wine and two glasses. He ran a bath for you and after he sat down he helped you in and held you against his chest. You asked him to talk about his training days, something that always helped you after a bad day was Mihawk’s stories. After drying you off, he brought you to the living room and sat with you in his lap as he gently rocked you until you fell asleep.

Luffy

•He was completely oblivious until Chopper explained

•It took awhile for him to know the signs of an anxiety attack

•Once he was familiar with your triggers and signs of an attack, he was more attentive to your actions

•He tried to avoid triggering situation and if he couldn’t he would carry you on his back, hold you very close to him, and/or he would always let you wear his hat

•Doesn’t give one crap about who you guys are in front of, if you’re uncomfortable he will do anything to make you feel safe again

•If he saw that you were uncomfortable, he would wrap his elastic arms around you and hold you on his lap trying to distract you with his df powers

•If it was too late to prevent an attack, he would pull you away from everyone, and hold you as he jumped around telling you stories to bring your thoughts to him

•If you needed a calmer environment, he would just wrap his arms around you a few times and hold your face to his chest while he rested his chin on the crown of your head

•God help anyone who makes fun of your anxiety

Oneshot~

You were in a bar on the island the straw hats were currently docked at. The crew had cleared the bar before you entered so you could relax that night. Luffy dove into the bar’s supply of meet while you sat beside him dodging the flying crumbs. All was well until another groups entered the bar. You were only slightly on edge when you saw them, but when one of them accidentally bumped into you and demanded you apologize, you started to notice how your breathing became uneven. You tried to turn back to focus on your boyfriend making a fool of himself, but you kept glancing back at the other group, each time making eye contact with the one who had bumped into you. You started bouncing your leg as you felt the beginning of your panic attack. Luffy, who now only has one piece of meat left, looked over to check on you and noticed the familiar signs of a panic attack. He put down his meat and pulled your into his lap landed a big messy smooch on your cheek. He grinned at you as he held out the last piece of meat to you. You looked down at the meat then back up at Luffy who just nudged it closer. You took the meat and started to eat it while Luffy pulled you closer and started telling you about his plans for tomorrow. He made sure to hold you against him the rest of the night and he did everything in his power to keep your mind focused on something other than the people around you two. He also deffinetly got Zoro and Sanji to kick the other group of pirates out of the bar.

Sabo

•I think Sabo has had his fair share of anxiety/panic attacks so he would know what to do

•He already knew the common signs of a beginning attack, but he paid very close attention see if you had any unusual triggers

•In public he stays glued to your side or if he can’t, he has Koala watch over you (I think she would be your number two emotional support person)

•He would avoid all triggering situations, but if he couldn’t he would make you stay at home or somewhere safe

•If he noticed you begin to have an anxiety attack, he would go over and hug you against his chest while peppering your face with kisses

•He would pull you away from the situation and bring you an empty room or a corner away from everyone snd try to distract you with talking about plans for a day or activities for the two of you

•If he found you while you were having an attack, he would pull you into his last and run circles on your back

•He would always be open if you wanted to talk, but he wouldn’t ever force you

•After a bad day I can totally see him dimming the lights and putting on some slow music then just swaying with you while until you are too tired

Oneshot~

You were sitting in the corner of a hangout area in the R.A. headquarters, waiting for Sabo to come back. Soon enough he entered the room, with a lot of people following behind him. Way too many people for you. You began to feel overwhelmed and you quickly felt you me heart spike and your legs became wobbly. You inched your way along the wall towards Sabo and gently tugged on his sleeve. He turned around and looked down, immediately noticing the signs of an anxiety attack. He swooped you into his arms and carried you through balls and into his room where he sat you down on the bed while he locked the door. Sabo went back over to you and layed on top of you, encasing you in his arms while he kissed your forehead. He waited until you calmed down and your breathing returned to normal, then he went back and dimmed the lights. Sabo put on some slow music snd bowed as he offered his hand to you. You giggled and took his hand, then curtseyed and wrapped your arms around his neck. He placed his hand on your waist and brought you closer so he could rest his head on your shoulder while you hid your head in the crook of his neck. The two of you stayed like that, just swaying to the music, until your eyelids felt heavy and your movements slowed. Sabo, who noticed your tiredness, pulled you to the bed and layed you down next to him so you were face to face. He brushed aside a few stray hairs from you forehead, and rubbed circles on your cheek with his thumb until you fell asleep.

#one piece #one piece headcanon #one piece imagine #one piece scenario #mihawk headcanon #mihawk scenario #hawkeye mihawk #mihawk x reader #one piece mihawk #mihawk imagine #luffy headcanon #luffy scenario #luffy x reader #luffy imagine #sabo imagine #sabo headcanon #sabo x reader #one piece sabo #one piece x reader

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killthe-illusionarydreams · 4 years ago

Text

Ashes To Ashes

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Request: ‘Please could you write a Fred Weasley imagine where you’re inside the burrow when Bellatrix sets it on fire and Fred runs in to get you out?? Thank you, I’m really loving you writing!’ For anonymous

Ps- i havent read the books or seen the movies in a while so I kinda went w the time it was fleur & bills wedding & intergrated it w that, sorry if its not what u wanted but I did write Bellatrix’s attack in x

————

Today was the big day. For today was the the day where Fleur & Bill were finally to be wed. For their celebration to erase war from anyones thoughts, today they were just two kids in love, not undercover Order Workers. Today they were simply girl & boy.

“Oi Y/N hurry up, Fleur’s asking for you” Ginny shouts practically breathless as she runs past your room, trying to find Hermione for the bride.

You pick up the gorgeous bouqet that earlier today you picked up from the florist for the woman and made your way downstairs into the living room. As you take a closer look, you notice something is off. Fleur was standing rigidly still, looking in the mirror unblinking.

“Fleur, darling, are you alright?”

The woman remained silent, Y/N had no idea what to do, she’d never seen her friend so paniced, so immobile. Ever since Y/N’s sixth year (after the Triwizard Tournament) the two kept in contact, maintaining a solid friendship with the other, who wouldve known that years later Fleur would join the family that you had already been apart of.

“Its okay to be nervous.” You sit beside the Frenchwoman “Just talk through it” grabbing her hand you pull her down to sit beside you.

“It’z all so scary Y/N. I love Bill, I really do, but what if he realises he doesnt feel the same about me and leaves me there?” She faces you, eyes glossed over

That caused you to frowm slightly “Bill loves you more than he loves life itself Fleaur, everybody knows that he’d do anything for you just to see you happy- not many can say that they have a person like that.” You smile lightly, thinking about your person. “You constantly say how much you love him, so if you stil feel that for him, theres no need to be scared of getting married-These are the normal pre wedding doubts, none of them are true. Besides, I’m sure if Bill tried to run away from such a gorgeous and talented person as you, Molly would raise havoc and go to the ends of the earth to get him back.”

Fleur looks up at you, smiling, but with stray tears going down her face “Thank you Y/N” she throws herself forward and hugs you “It’s just a big step & I’ve been so emotional lately because of-“ she hesitates

A look of realisation dawns on you and you beam, hugging her once more but tighter “You’re joking? Congratulations!” You give her a peck on the cheek “Does Bill know?” You queried as she shook her head

“Non, I only confirmed it a week ago. Please dont tell anyone Y/N.” She looks at you with pleading eyes and you vigorously nod

“Of course. I wont say a thing, this is your secret. But how about we start getting ready for your wedding hmm.”

As Y/N started to do Fleurs makeup, Hermione rushed in with the wedding dress that her and Molly had been making final adjustments to, Ginny was running around frantically trying to get all the guests in the right places and seats. Once commisioning your help to shout at a group of loiterers to leave the premises because they wouldnt listen to the red head girl. All in all, after many hours, Fleaur was ready.

“You look gorgeous.” Gabrielle beamed at her sister

“Stunning.”

“Ethereal.”

“I might just steal you from Bill” you wink and cause her to laugh and blow you a kiss “I’ll go get everyone ready, you still have plenty of time to relax.” Handing Gabrielle the bouqet, you rush out of the room, which proved to be quite difficult in heels. But bearing through the pain, you get outside and see rows and rows of the fragile golden chairs set on either side of the long purple carpet. The supporting poles to the gazeebo top were entwined with gorgeous white and gold flowers. As you look to where there was supposed to be an enormous bunch of balloons, you frown to see it bare.

“George!” You shout getting his attention “Wheres Fred? You were supposed to the balloons up ages-“ you feel strong arms pick you up and spin you around, making you let out a shriek of surprise, thankfully not loud enough to get the attention of the others

“I’m here my love, disposable at your command.” He purrs into your ear, sending chills down your spine

“Put me down asshole” you laugh and turn to face him, before you could manage to say anything you were taken aback at how he looked. “You got a haircut.” You stated plainly and ran a hand through his hair as he put his arms around your waist.

“Correction, George cut my hair when I wasnt paying attention so ‘people would be able to tell the difference between us’” he wrinkled his nose

You stare at him, dumbstruck “As if the hole on the side of his head wasnt enough.” Fred laughs and says thats what he said “I like it, it suits you.”

Fred grins and kisses you, “Lets face it Y/N you like anything when its to do with me.”

You roll your eyes and hum in agreement “Thats because I love you Fred. But I will seriously consider breaking up with you if you dont get the balloons up as you promised.”

Fred gives you a small peck & jumps back from you “I’m on it!” and runs over towards his brother to finally do what he had to. You smile at him, reminiscing at how you managed to fall in love with such an idiotic man, yet you could never wish for more. Fred Weasley was truly perfect.

Shaking your head you turn back to the guests that were not where they were supposed to be before shouting “Get to your seats and away from the food please! Thats for after the ceremony!” You swat their hands before adding “If you dont know where youre supposed to be, go to Hermione and Molly, they will tell you.” You motion to the pair before walking around to make last minute adjustments.

The wedding ceremony went beautifully, Fleur was walked down with her bridesmaids: Gabrielle & Ginny. When in sight, she rendered everyone breathless, she was ethereal, the most gorgeous a person could possibly look. Molly teared up from the get go at the sight of her eldest marrying, many more joined in when they said their vows. You could not believe that the day of your friends wedding had finally arrived. Throughout the entire sitting down portion of the ceremony, Fred was holding your hand and rubbing circles on it, an assurance that through everything you went through- you were still together- still alive.

The loud music was ringing through the field, dancing bodies surrounded you, but you paid them no mind, your main focus on Fred.

“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look Y/N?”

You laugh lightly as you sway to the beat “No, I must’ve missed it the other ten times you said it”

“Well you do, absolutely bewitching, are you sure you didnt use a love poition on me? I never knew feeling this was possible.” He jokes as he spins you

“Must be my natural charm and charisma that got you so captured Fred.”

“Must be.” He mutters softly looking into your eyes. Fred was completely besotted by you, more than anyone had ever seen him be, he just knew that Y/N was perfect. The way that she’d light up any room she walked in, the way that she’d never back down from a challenge, and just simply how she made him feel. Dear Merlin he loved the girl. “After this do you fancy going away for a bit?”

You look at him sceptically “Planning out your murderous fantasies are we?”

He laughs and shakes his head “You’re impossible. No, since the shops closed I thought we could go away somewhere before everything with the war kicks off, I want as much time with you as I can get.”

“Oh” you forgot that the wizarding world was on the brink of war “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. But if you sneak George along i swear to Merlin I will live through my murderous fantasy & kill the pair of you.”

Fred chuckles again, before nodding “Promise, no George. I think he got an eyefull when he barged into our room without knocking.”

“Serves him right.” You mumble “I told him on multiple occasions to knock.”

The rest of the song died down and you stayed in Freds arms for a moment, before he was being wisked away to dance with Aunt Muriel, he held an awfully sour look as you giggled when she hounded on him to straighten his back, then saying that he was too tall.

“I’m a bit cold, I’ll go get a jacket then I’ll be right back” Y/N kissed his cheek & left to get back inside the burrow. Thinking nothing of it, she poured herself another drink, smiling to herself at how Fred would have to have another dance with Muriel. What an awful woman.

Unbeknown to the girl, a silver patronus intruded on the celebration to announce grave news. “The Ministary has fallen. The Minister of magic is dead. They are coming. They are coming.” Everyone scrabled to find their loved ones, to make sure that they were safe, but before Fred even had the chance to look for Y/N, everything burst into havoc. The gazeebo was now engulfed in flames, Death Eaters showing up everywhere to curse them.

“Y/N!” Fred shouted, frantically looking around for the girl “Y/N!”

He turned around and was greeted by a paniced Mr Weasley “Theres not much time Fred, I dont know where she is, you need to get to safety and leave. Now!”

Fred ignored his fathers protests and ran, dodging various spells being shot from either side. He had to find you, he had to know you were safe.

An abrupt crash jolts you back into reality, you get up to run and go outside but with a sudden ‘whoosh’ and black smoke- two Death Eaters appear infront of you.

“Shit.” You mumble & grab your wand, quickly dodging their spells you manage to knock one out & try to deal with the other. “You’re quite persistant-“ blue sparks shoot from your wand, the figure ran upstairs & you follow.

“And you’re associated with mud-blood scum!” A flash of green emerged from their wand that narrowly missed you, you grin

“You missed.” You kick a chair at the figure, momentarily distracting them to cast a spell “Stupefy! Petrificus totalus!” As the figure was knocked out & bound together, you walk over and spit out “Get a life, prick” snapping their wand in two.

In the middle of your fight, you had not noticed that the commotion outside had turned to an arsonists playground. looking through the window you call for Fred, hearing no response your heart stops, you leave the room & try to get down the stairs but now they were already engulfed by flames.

“Oh shit” you panic and shoot spells at it to stop the fire from spreading, but to no avail, it only got worse. Smoke was now clouding your vision, realising that if you were not to jump down you’d perish in this fire. Letting out a short breath, you hype yourself up for the leap of your life “You can do it Y/N. Come on” violetly coughing, you jump. Unfortunately landing a fair few stairs too high. Unbearable pain shoots up through your leg & you cry out in pain.

Sinking to the floor you couldnt even move, the pain in your arm and leg restricting you. This was it, this would be how you die. All alone, with no one to help you, no one to save you. In a burning house. Yet the only thought racing through your mind was ‘Is Fred safe’. Thankfully most of the fire was behind you, the staircase had completely gone up in flames however, the roof was begining to crumble down. A plank toppled down, narrowly missing you, but making the room next to you catch on fire.

As you were losing conciousness you hear a strained yell “Y/N!” You try to respond, but all that came out was a series of violent coughs “Y/N im coming, hang on!” You couldn’t see what was happening, i dont know if it was the thick cloud of smoke or the fact that you were breathing most of it in, but your vision blurred.

A faint figure emerged, breathless, trying to get through the flames & to you fast enough “Hey Y/N ive got you, im here.” You felt yourself being picked up & your body fell like a ragdoll. “Oh merlin dont die on me Y/N.” Was the last thing you heard before passing out.

The abrupt light and noise woke you up, yet you were unable to open your eyes, they were far too heavy for the little energy you had. Were you dead? Is this what death felt like?

“Stop pacing Fred, she’ll be fine.” You heard a voice say, however, unable to distinguish who it belonged to “shes a strong girl, the nurses said so.”

“Yeah they also said she’d wake up yesterday, so my apologies if I dont believe what they have to say.” He snapped

Fred. Oh yes, Fred. He came into the building to save you didnt he? So that answered your question of being dead. You were very much alive, but dear Merlin you were in unbearable pain.

“She’ll be up and about soon though? Her body was exhausted thats why shes sleeping so long right?” He continued, sounding unsure. Well if this is how they reacted to you passing out you wouldn’t want to know how theyd react if you died.

“And id appreciate it if I could sleep some more.” You croak out as you let your eyes open. Coming to face the whole clan of distressed red heads, Harry, Hermione & Fleur.

Fred snaps to face you and a look of relief washes over his features “Y/N” he whispers and rushes to your side hugging you “You’re okay. You’re alive. Thank Merlin.”

You try to chuckle, which abruptly turns into a wheze “I’m okay yeah, in a lot of pain but I’m fine.” Fred retreats from you, an apologetic look on his face.

“Come on kids lets give them some space.” Molly ushers everyone out of the room “I’m glad you’re okay Y/N” she sends you a smile and leaves the room for you and Fred to be alone.

Moments pass with Fred just looking at you with glassy eyes before he abruptly let out “You bloody scared me half to death!”

You motion for him to help you sit up “Oh I do apologise that me nearly burning in a fire scared you. I wasnt very happy about it either.”

Fred looks at you speachless, confused at how you can joke about it so soon. He remains quiet before letting out a big sigh and hanging his head into his lap “I thought I lost you.” He mumbles, barely loud enough for you to hear

“Hey, look at me.” You say and put his face into your left hand with the little energy you have “I’m okay, I’m alive. And so are you” he smiles faintly before you continue “Obviously as gorgeous as ever, so nothing irreversible happened.”

He laughs “Obviously.”

While in the room Fred filled you in on what happened, that after the Death Eaters showed up & they fought them off- Bellatrix Lestrange set fire to the burrow & he ran in to get you out. He told you that you passed out & that you had to be taken to St Mungos to treat your broken leg and the burn on your arm.

“The nurses said you were lucky to get out alive Y/N” he said lowly, not being able to bear the thought of your death.

“Im alive because of you Fred. Thank you.” You offer a weak smile “There were two Death Eaters in the house when it burned up-“

“Thats not on your concious to bear, Its on Bellatrix Lestrange.”

You nod, in all honesty you didnt feel bad that they perished in the fire- their downfall was their own undoing. But what was on your mind was the fire burn “When I’m better do you recon I’ll l have a cool badass scar?”

Fred shakes his head as he holds your hand, of course thats what Y/N is thinking about “‘course you will, It’ll become part of badass backstory.”

“Good” you mumble and close your eyes. After a long silence you relax back into your pillow, the sleeping draft & skelly-grow hitting you like a brick. You begin to mumble incoherent sentences

“Hey Freddie?”

He looks at your peaceful face, all calm against the pillow and responds “Yes my love?”

After a little pause of small mumbles, you ask “When I’m better, can we leave for our trip?”

“Whatever you want Y/N.” He smiles lightly & watches you drift off to sleep, hoping that ‘better’ would come along faster.

—————

Ahh okay hi! Omg this took so long to write, again sorry its not the actual bellatrix fire story, i jus forgot how it happened & when I remembered I wrote too much of it. <33

#slytherin #harry potter #hogwarts #hufflepuff #gryffindor #ravenclaw #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #draco malfoy #fred weasley x slytherin #fred weasley imagines #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley #fred and george #fred weasley x slytherin!reader #hermione granger #ron weasley

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twriteskpop · 5 years ago

Text

Adrenaline // Jeon Jungkook AU pt 2

Warnings: marijuana use, sexual harassment

Word count: 3k+

The park was 20 minutes away from her apartment complex, which meant that she had no time to go up to her apartment and change first. She shifted into reverse and made her way to the park.

The park was mostly empty during the summer time, so it was no surprise to her that only a few cars were parked by the water. She found a parking space on the other side of the lot, and brought out her phone.

Here. Yellow VW Beatle

She watched as a child threw bread crumbs at a duck in the pond. Something Floridian children did often. The ducks aren't supposed to be fed, but it's like a right of passage in Florida. The little girl was dressed in a cute denim dress, matching hat as well. Her mother was knelt beside her, keeping a hand on her shoulder to make sure she didn't fall in. The girl threw the bread crumbs happily to the ducks, pointing at the ones eating. It was such an innocent moment between mother and daughter. One Delilah never had but witnessed too often.

Her thoughts were broke by a knock on the passenger side window. She looked through the window to see a person holding their phone to the glass. It was the text thread. This was Clarissa's dealer. She unlocked the door and the man got in. He was nothing she expected. He was handsome. He had on blue jeans and a long black shirt. His hair was slightly covering his face. When he turned to her, she couldn't help but feel a butterfly in her stomach. He was extremely handsome. His nose was predimanent, his eyes sweet but focused on the task at hand. His skin was clear and smooth and he was somehow cute but hot all at once.

Her thoughts were, thankfully, by him putting his hand out for her to shake. "I'm Jungkook. You're Clarissa and Bennett's friend?" He asked, a kind tone in his soft voice. Delilah nodded once, pulling her wallet out. She had never been infatuated with anyone before, but the looks alone this man had was effecting her train of thought. Sure, she had boyfriends but they were pity dates she had with them. She had never felt physically attracted to anyone before, so this sudden nervousness made her uneasy.

"my name is Delilah. Sorry I was late, I was getting off of work," She explained turning to him. He raised his brow and half smirked, "you work at one of the theme parks?" Delilah looked down at her uniform and instantly felt embarrassed. "Sadly, no. I work at Timmy's 50's, " She explained, adding some annoyance to the diner name. It was cheesy and showed how self centered her boss was. He chuckled and nodded, "interesting. Anyways, what will it be?" She thought back to the strain she used to go off of, even though she never really paid much attention. Whatever she could get before she smoked, regardless. However she did remember friend in high school was regular on indica strains called… "9 pound hammer, or grape ape?" She asked. He smirked flicking a brow up high, smirking at her, "good taste. I have grape ape right now. Usually it's pretty random, for future reference. You're in luck. It's 20 a G. " Delilah pulled out her purse and pulled a 20 dollar bill out of her phone case, it had the smell of maple syrup on it because it was a tip from a messy table with kids that same day. She passed it to Jungkook, trying not to look into his deep brown eyes too long.

They exchanged the money for a dime bag of the green, with slight purple specs, substance. He placed the money in his wallet and placed his hand on the handle of the car door. He paused, turned to look at her with a cute, bunny-like smile, and stated, "it was a pleasure, Delilah. I hope we meet again soon." As quickly as he entered her car, he was gone.

His scent was of sweet Cologne, definitely something expensive by how it wasn't too strong to notice at first, but lingered like a ghost.

She placed the dime bag into her purse and drove back to her apartment. She couldn't help but think about the way Jungkook had left butterflies in her stomach. Who knows, it could just be nerves from the sale after so long of quitting. Yeah, that's exactly what Delilah insisted on as she made her way into her apartment and into a hot shower, washing the diner smells away along with the phantom touches left from Tims daily harassment.

When she exited the shower, sliding on her denim shorts and baggy T-shirt, she remembered something crucial to her dire need to forget her thoughts, she hadn't had a grinder or anything to smoke from. Sure, she could create a soda can bowl, if she hadn't given up soda her first year of college.

Thankfully, she felt relieved to see she had one wrapped cookie left from Clarissa the night prior. As she unwrapped the single cookie and placed it on a napkin, and then into the microwave, she texted Clarissa.

So, met Jungkook. Problem arises, nothing to grind or smoke with. 😪

Seconds later the buzzing started in her phone. Clarissa had been calling her.

Clarissa was laughing and cheerful, per usual, “D! Come over! I have plenty of old pieces you can take. Smoke with us tonight. We have been wanting to smoke with you for a while, but loved hanging out with you without smoking too. You’re our closest friend!” She continued to ramble on, “Anyways, movie night. Going to smoke and watch… something. We still havent decided, come over!” Before Delilah could protest, there was more laughter and the phone hung up. She huffed out a sigh.

She hadn’t...smoked in so long. The night prior it was an edible. She had been alone. Was she ready to smoke with other people around again? She was always introverted, until she smoked. She shrugged the thought off, thinking too much. She would at least smoke for free and have a cookie and two grams left at home.

She slipped on her white adidas and walked over to Clarissa's place, not bothering to knock, they asked her not to many times because she was like family. The familiar smell of weed hit her like a snack in the face. It was strong and the foggy smoke was rolling out the door behind her.

Clarissa was rushing to the door, a smile plastered on her round face. She gripped Delilah's wrist and pulled her happily to the living room. There were three people in the living room, lounging on the couch and flipping through Netflix. One, Bennet a largely buff man with pale white skin and bald head, but friendly face, was arguing with the two other men. Delilah's eyes landed on Jungkook. He was wearing the same clothes from earlier that day, a smile plastered on his face, making his nose crinkle in a cute bunny-like way. He had been telling Bennet to pick a better movie than the kissing booth. Bennet may look frighteningly intimidating but he was just a big teddy bear. The other face was unfamiliar. It was another man of Asian decent with bleached blonde hair and dimples when he smiled. His eyes were slightly hooded, but it made his stare seductive.

"So I heard you met Jungkook earlier but this is RM, another one of our friends. Follow me to the room, I have a whole set you can keep. Had it for years but you can clean them," Clarissa stood taller than Delilah but she was in an excited, bent-knee type position while talking. It looked as though Clarissa had been waiting for this moment. As if it were the missing puzzle piece to Delilah's personality. In the moment, it slightly burned her soul, but she brushed it off, as she did most hurtful things.

Clarissa had a small cardboard box on her red blanketed bed, the contents inside were like a smoker starter kit. A silver grinder with a rhinestone galaxy as the lid, a beautiful glass blown chillum, bowl, a tray and a palm tree bong. Every one of the contents looked warn but the thought was extreme. "I'll venmo you $100 for this. It's too sweet," Delilah wrapped her arm around her friend in a side hug. Clarissa smacked Delilahs arm, leaving a stinging sensation, "don't you dare. You're family." Clarissa turned around and made her way back to the living room. Delilah pulled out her phone and opened the venmo app, paying Clarissa, before following behind. Delilah placed the cardboard shoe box of stuff on the counter and reached for a water in the fridge.

"Titanic? What are you a woman?" RM had snatched the remote from Bennet, laughing. Clarissa had been seated next to Bennet, snuggled under his arm, passing the blunt to Jungkook. lunt to RM who was sitting beside the couple on the small, three person couch. On the two seater, Jungkook was sitting with his elbows on his knees, staring up at Delilah. That feeling in her stomach soon returned. She turned her attention to the bean bag in the corner, it was either sitting closely to Jungkook, or on the bean bag. She pulled the bean bag to a spot between the tv and the couch, plopping herself down comfortably. “Can we just pick a movie?” Clarissa snatched the remote from RM. She flipped on a random movie. Delilah giggled when the movie began, seeing the title name. “Of all the movies Clarissa, you had to pick the one based in Orlando?” Delilah laughed, throwing a pillow at Clarissa. Bennet blocked it from hitting her. “I’m a sucker for bring it on movies and this is the only one on netflix,” Clarissa retorted. Delilah face palmed internally. She had been a cheerleader most of her life, competition cheer as well. Mostly on fundraisers because her family had been critically homeless most of her life. Bring it On movies were her guilty pleasure, she was glad clarissa felt the same way.

“is this one of those cheerleader films? Oh Lord," Bennet placed his hand on his face and took the blunt from RM, "I think we are all going to need a ton of this. She likes to act these cheers out." The room started laughing, but Clarissa lifted a perfectly sculpted brow at Delilah, "yeah laugh all you want but I think our girl D knows this movie just like I do. How'd you know this one was based in our city?" Delilah could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. She was embarrassed. She was not sure if she wanted everyone knowing her past. Clarissa and Bennet knew, but she hadn’t known the other two men enough. So, she flicked her brow up and winked, not saying anything.

The blunt was now in jungkooks hand, he took two long puffs and passed it to Delilah. Before she could reach for it, Bennet stopped Jungkook, "she doesn't smoke. Sorry D, he didn't know." Delilah and Clarissa both began giggling like a set of school girls with a secret. "I did say that she met our boy JK earlier. I wanted to see the look on your face when you found out, " Clarissa laughed. Jungkook passed Delilah the blunt but it was down to the last hit. She held it in her hand, staring down at it. Everyone was busy laughing atBennets cluelessness, so they hadn't noticed that Delilah was trying to decide if she really wanted to take that nose dive back into the cycle. She made a promise she wouldn't do it again. Maybe she could alter that promise. She loved being able to sleep the night prior. Not thinking too hard. Maybe she could have the best of both worlds. Just make responsible decisions while getting rid of the bomb of memories in her mind. That is exactly what she-

"Delilah?" Jungkook had broken her train of thought, he had done that many times in one day. She felt the pain instantly and placed it in the ash tray. She had burnt the tip of her pointer finger and thumb. The blunt had burned out. She rubbed the burn on her shirt and it had only stung for a second. "How about you guys spark up a bowl while I help Delilah with the burn, " Jungkook stood up, gripping her wrist, pulling her up before she could protest. She didn't like people treating her like she was weak. It was just a small burn. The sting did linger as they walked through the kitchen archway. He opened the fridge and pulled out the tub of butter, scooping a tiny bit with a spoon and forcefully putting it on her fingers. "I'm fine. Thank you. It's just a small burn," Delilah turned the butter with the two fingers as jungkook washed the spoon. "You looked lost. Bennet said you don't smoke? Is this your first time?" Jungkook leaned against the counter, a palm of each hand supporting him.

"Because a first timer could handle the strains I asked for, let alone know the names?" She laughed sarcastically lifting a brow at the beautiful man. He let out a chuckle and nodded, "fair point. So what was getting to you?" She hasn't wanted to tell him her whole life story, as he was a complete stranger. However, the look in his eye showed a sense of caring. His eyes had a glass like glisten and they wandered the depths of her soul they were staring so hard into hers. She felt that feeling in her stomach and she had to force herself to look to the fridge. She kept it short and simple, "I quit about 14 months ago when I moved here. My decisions weren't always…. Thought out. Now I think too much so today… " He took a step forward and placed his hand on her mid back, the feeling in her stomach intensified. He turned her around and slightly pushed her from the kitchen archway, moved around her, looked back to whisper, "I'll watch over you. You're with friends now. If you want to be?" She nodded and they made their way back to the living room. She sat back down on the bean bag chair and thought briefly about the effect that sentence had on her. Of course she'd want to be his friend after that. Even RM seemed cool. If Bennet and Clarissa were close with these two, she trusted their opinions more than anyone. So she decided to let herself go.

Clarissa had hit play on the movie and just as Bennet said, began reciting the beginning. The blue, glassblown pipe went around the living room and made it to Delilah, who no longer hesitated. She took the lighter and pressed the bowl against her lips, warm to the touch. She went to light the lighter, but the tip of her thumb was burnt and made her feel like a hot knife cut into her. "Fuck! " She exclaimed, shaking her hand. Jungkook got up from his spot on the couch and sat on the floor next to her. He reached for the lighter and motioned for her to press the bowl back to her mouth. After a slight moment of hesitation, she did so. He carefully lit the lighter and held it against the green packed substance in the bowl of the pipe. She breathed in, letting the smoke slowly warm her lungs, until she couldn't take it and tapped jungkooks hand with her free one. She cleared the pipe and held in the smoke. She could feel slightly more relaxed and her body became weightless in a sense. She was no longer nervous that jungkook was so close to her. She passed the bowl to Bennet who was next and firSt in the rotation. She turned, thanked jungkook. "I told you I'd watch out for you." He winked, making her heart flutter as if a whole tree shook off its fall leaves in preparation for winter, but in her heart. The effect he had on her showed, she wasn't a light weight so she still had thought about that fact.

Clarissa stood up and began doing the pool cheer off cheer. Her form waoff and she was making everyone laugh and clap at the same time. She made the movie entertaining even for the guys and it had just begun. "Delilah… you know the movie? Explain why you're laughing and not here doing it with me?" Clarissa paused the movie, taking her hit as she stood next to the tv in the large living room. Bennet let out a loud cackle, "okay rissa, maybe not everyone watches it a billion times?" The other two guys laughed.

The overall environment was comfortable and welcoming, and with the help of medicating, she felt comfortable enough with her friends to finally admit one thing about her life. Sure, Clarissa and Bennet already knew most of the dark stuff that happened to Delilah in her past, but they hadn't known she used to cheer.

"Your form is off," Delilah laughed. Clarissa flicked her brow up, "what do you know about form? I cheered all four years of high school!" Delilah nodded, "fair enough. Try… cheer competition squads since the age of 3, working through fundraisers to pay her dues to stay on the squad." Clarissa opened her mouth widely smiling, "no way! Girl, you HAVE TO DO THE CHEERS WITH ME! " she squealed in a high pitched voice. The guys in the room all agreed and took turns pleading at Delilah. They saw it as entertainment. Delilah shook her head. She wasn't sure she wanted to be that vulnerable just yet.

"If you do this, RM, Bennet and I will do one cheer of choice," Jungkook pleaded, gripping Delilah's arm gently pulling at her like a child. She huffed out a sigh, how could she pass that up? "Fine, hand me the bowl. I'm too sober to do this, " She threw the lighter to jungkook who quickly lit the bowl for her. After a second of letting the medication kick in, she felt loose in body, mind, and soul. She pushed herself up off the bean bag chair and stood next to Clarissa after kicking her shoes to the corner. Thankfully, they lived on the first floor so no one would complain. The guys clapped and began the movie.

Delilah and Clarissa began cheering every cheer to the movie, while the guys watched laughing hysterically and occasionally impressed. "Alright I did it, " Delilah plopped down on the bean bag after the credits rolled. Clarissa pulled jungkook, Bennet and RM all up from their spots one-by-one.

"I'm thinking the pool cheer off. I'd love to see our guys prance and dosey doe," Clarissa quoted from the movie. Delilah nodded vigorously. "Hop up there guys you have 10 minutes to practice while D and I go to her apartment to put her pieces away, " Clarissa informed, throwing Delilah her shoes back, putting on her own adidas. Delilah grabbed the box on the counter and they exited to Delilah's apartment. The air was significantly fresher than the apartment they were just in. She didnt have decorations so even though it was the same floor plan, hers looked bigger.

Delilah placed the box in her kitchen cabinet and looked out on her open balcony. Tuck was laying down enjoying the afternoon sun. "Tuck can come inside if he wants. I bought a water bowl about a month ago for when he's over on my porch," Delilah pointed to the door, pulling her phone our of her pocket. "What a mess this cheer will be, " Clarissa laughed, peaking over the railing to her apartment. "Oh god," Delilah complained. Her phone was filled with texts from Tim. He wanted her to cover the dinner rush as soon as the lunch rush was over. Apparently the other waitresses were going to some party at UCF. Tim always let the other waitresses ditch as much as they wanted, because the diner was never too busy for one person to handle. It was in a part of town that the tourists never went, because it was opposite side of the theme parks. The other waitresses also allowed Tim to grope them and even play into it. They were around the same age as Delilah, but both were in college while Delilah dropped out of community college to move back. So, whenever they didn't want to work, Tim brought in Delilah. She needed this job so she always obeyed.

"I guess you're going to have to enjoy the cheer alone. I have to head back to work," Delilah threw up her hair quickly while explaining to Clarissa, who followed her to her room as Delilah changed back into her uniform. "Heather and Maddy are going to another party?" Clarissa asked, anger surrounding her usually peppy voice. Delilah nodded, pulling her poodle skirt and matching white shirt back on.

"It's not fair. The way he treats you. He shouldn't be harassing anyone of you but the fact the other girls let him so they still get paid to ditch?" Clarissa rambled. Delilah could feel the rage in the room as if it were fog. Delilah placed her hands on Clarissa's bony shoulders as Clarissa sat on Delilah's bed. "Honey, it's why I can afford this apartment, my car, bills, and still have some money left I save up for an annual pass to the parks. Tonight's shift tips should get me just enough to buy one on Monday," Delilah reassured her friend. "Come by for dinner if you're too afraid he will act up. Foods on me, " She convinced Clarissa. As Delilah grabbed her purse Clarissa followed her out the front door, holding tucks collar. "Fine. We will drop by later. I'm bringing the guys. You're high as a kite though so… be careful okay? " Delilah nodded once and made her way to work. Being high the traffic didn't bother her so much.

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A/N

I'm loving this so much. I have so much planned. Please leave comments on where I can improve, what you love, and what you want with the story!

-T

#bts #bts jeon jungguk #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #rm bts #rm smut #namjoon #jungkook imagine #bts imagines #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts jungkook #bts icons #bts fanfic #bts fanclub #bts fanfction

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subarashiet · 4 years ago

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lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

#personal rant #confession

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mithranqueersmusings · 4 years ago

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Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

do i not already?

well yes but youre gonna love me EVEN more

what have you done

well i happened to stop by the club last night

oh god what did you do

wow is that how little you trust me

can you blame me

suppose not ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

surprise surprise

do you want the good news or not???

fine fine sorry

AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

first of all fuck you for calling him that second of all wtf is onlyfans

oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

...... care to grace me with your knowledge?

basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

but i have to pay?

well weve all gotta make a living

i can basically see him naked for free

but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed well you will but nobody will know at least so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

fine

where are your manners richard??

can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

alright calm down let me know if its worth while i might have a look

idk if im even gonna look at it paying for porn is a little dated

treat yourself ringo id offer to pay but im broke

if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

well SOMEONE had to go

they really didnt

im supporting my local economy

i dont think thats how that works

sure it is anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

howd the wank go??

john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

youre right sorry so how did it go???

if you must know i havent had a wank i havent even paid for entry

now whos the one being inappropriate??

ha ha

why havent you???

feels weird

oh i see youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

hey now watch yourself ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

go ahead

and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

im not joking

neither am i you wank A LOT

ringooooo just buy it i swear to god if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

on top of the money you already owe me?

have you always been such a capitalist

youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

fine spikes cock now are you convinced???

maybe

naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month convinced??

fine fine if itll shut you up

im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

i hate you

now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right' anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at even i wont stand in the way of a good wank so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

im older than you

DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

sooo how did the wank go

who knows but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

well before you do that i have even more good news

can it not wait?

NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

well arent you considerate and unnecessarily graphic

thats me anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

im still waiting for the good news

well if youd let me FINISH next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go youll never guess what it is

what is it?

guess

you just said ill never guess

youre no fun

WHAT IS IT

alright alright keep your hair on its a crossdressing event high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

im still waiting for the good news

OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

#the beatles #beatles #beatles fanfic #the beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #george harrison/ringo starr #ringo starr/george harrison #ringo starrxgeorge harrison #george harrisonxringo starr #starrison

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sammmys-writing · 6 years ago

Text

First Date

Pairing: Rafael Barba/Sonny Carisi (Barisi)

TW: None

Summary: Sonny finally gets the guts to ask Rafael out on a date and does so

Authors notes: ho- LEE FUCK THIS IS LONG (2,246 words uwu) also i wrote this at like 1AM and its not Beta-ed so please excuse any OOCness.

Amanda and Sonny being best friends is true MlM WlW soldarity

This is also posted on AO3. Read it Here

"Carisi has a crush, Carisi has a crush~~" Rollins teased in a sing-song voice once the ruthless ADA, (and Sonny's aforementioned crush) Rafael Barba had left earshot.

"I don't have a crush!!" The other exclaimed defensively. Ok, maybe he had a tiny crush on the ADA, but who wouldn't?? Especially with those fierce forest green eyes and the way they twinkled on the rare occasion that he laughed, or his pretty little "I'm Winning" Smirk that only showed up in court, but that Sonny would pay to see.

"Yeah and you didn't just stare at and flirt with Barba for..." She checked her watch "Half an hour" She snorted, poking at Carisi's side.

"I wasn't staring I was... being an attentive listener" He stated, hoping that his excuse would get the other detective to leave him alone about this.

"Right, so you weren't staring straight at his lips the whole time" She said skeptically, raising one eyebrow up. He'd seen her use this tactic in interrogations, but it wouldn't work on him, not today at least.

"I wasn't staring at his lips!!"

Yes he was.

"And the flirting?" She inquired.

"He was flirting with me and i was being polite. How do you know that its he who's crushing on me and not the other way around? Check and Mate" He smirked, crossing his arms.

"What ever you say tough guy" Rollins snorted before going back to her work.

~*~

Unbeknownst to either detective, Rafael Barba was in fact crushing on Sonny Carisi. Somehow the lanky detective had wormed his way into his heart, with his absolutely kissable lips, bright blue eyes, and those god damn dimples that would certainly be the death of him. But, sadly, Rafael was pretty sure that Sonny was straight, as he'd always seen him flirting with women at NYPD parties that he was encouraged (forced) to attend.

Although this knowledge didn't prevent his heart from melting as a result of Carisi's laugh or the way he was constantly leaning over things, giving Barba a nice view of his ass. It also didn't stop him from being slightly jealous when he caught someone else eyeing those long perfect legs, connected to that perfect ass. Still, he acted professional, he kept his feelings under wraps, he willed himself to look away whenever Carisi leaned over something (Most of the time), like he did literally every time Barba visited the precinct, and he never actively sought him out unless it was pertinent to the current case. He was slightly afraid of his feelings for the detective getting the better of him. His train of thought was cut off as Carmen entered his office to say

"Mr Barba, Detective Carisi's here to see you"

Sonny walked in as Carmen was leaving and he flashed the ADA one of those award winning smiles that Rafael couldn't get enough of.

"Good evening Detective, what brings you here?" He asked, not looking up from the papers he was working on

"Well, I was wondering, Counselor, if..." He paused "You'd like to go to dinner, with me" the Detective added looking down, which made a few pieces of his hair fall to his forehead, free from the grip of the hair gel he most likely used.

Barba for once was at a slight loss for words, he looked up from his papers and a slight smirk appeared on his lips, "Are you asking me out on a date, Detective?"

"Would you say yes if I was?" Replied the detective, looking up, his baby blues brighter then normal.

"Are you free tomorrow at 8?"

"Y-Yeah, I am"

"Meet me at DiAngelo's at 8"

Carisi smiled brightly and nodded, "I gotta go now or Picatso will get all weird when I get home. See ya tomorrow Counselor!" He said, waving his goodbyes before exiting Barba's office happily knowing he had a date with his crush.

Meanwhile Barba was rethinking all of his life choices that had led up to when he had fallen for a man who'd named his cat Picatso.

~*~

[Sonny days] roLLINS

ROLLINS

ROLLINS, I JUST ASKED BARBA OUT AND HE SAID YES??? I HAVE A DATE WITH HIM TOMORROW AFTER WORK

HELP

[Rollin' in the deep] i knew you had a crush on him carisi

[Sonny days] yeah, yeah, yeah, alright you were right, but still

Help

[Rollin' in the deep] with what? just let him slam it home

[Sonny days] thats like

the exact opposite of helping

what do i do with the date, like how

how does someone do a date

[Rollin' in the deep] ;)

[Sonny days] stop or i block

[Rollin' in the deep] ;(

have you told him about Picatso yet?

[Sonny days] yeah??

[Rollin' in the deep] and he didn't bail instantly? he must really like you

[Sonny days] hey, Picatso is the perfect name for a cat

[Rollin' in the deep] that is not a cat

thats a demon from hell

[Sonny days] he just doesnt like you because he can sense how much you hate him

animals are like that

anyway, back on topic, help please??

[Rollin' in the deep] Just, talk to him about mutual interest's or ask him about himself or smthn i dont knoW

I don't know man!! i havent been on a first date in so long

[Sonny boy] since you've been banging the lieu

[Rollin' in the deep] speaking of liv, Noah just fell asleep you know what that means

[Sonny days] gross

[Rollin' in the deep] ;)

get some carisi!! now i gotta go its time for some designated lady time

[Sonny days] have a good time rollins

and please never say designated lady time ever again

~*~

The next day at 8 o'clock, Sonny Carisi walked up to the DiAngelo's restaurant in a nice white pressed shirt and dress pants with a navy tie, not his work clothes, Barba was too good for him to wear his work clothes on a date with him, he saw Barba standing outside the restaurant, wearing a suit, like always. Sonny wondered what he looked like in home clothes or pyjamas, hopefully, if dinner went well he'd have a chance to see that.

"Hey counselor!" He called, waving to the hot ADA as he walked towards him.

Rafael smiled warmly at the tall blue-eyed detective, waving back.

"You're not late Carisi, I'm surprised" He joked lightly, giving the detective a quick look down, he dressed nice, better then what he wore to work at least.

Carisi smiled at the comment. "I try counselor." He chuckled, "Shall we go in?" he asked, offering his arm, internally panicking about this, he was trying to follow the WikiHow article he read on how to act on a first date, so far it was working.

Barba smiled again, "Call me Rafael" He said, taking his arm and the pair went inside, where they were seated quickly in a little booth in the corner. The date went rather well as far as first dates with your co-worker are concerned, they chatted and laughed, happy in their own little world.

Rafael was sure he'd just fallen even harder for the blue eyed detective sitting across from him. He talked with his hands lot, this was something he had never noticed before, when telling funny little stories of his childhood in Staten Island suburbia, he made grand gestures with his hands, whether he was explaining his sisters giant crush on his best friend, or how he fell off of the playground structure when he was 10 and had to be in a wheelchair for a month.

Carisi noticed how Rafael's eyes softened when he talked about his grandma or his mom, telling stories of his childhood, how he poured himself into his studies and go to college against the odds, go to Harvard, it was truly inspiring and Carisi was reminded of why he fell for the green eyed ADA. He was the most interesting man he'd ever met.

"My apartment isn't far from here, wanna come over, end the night with a few drinks?" Carisi asked as they exited the restaurant after dinner, looking down.

"Sure" Barba replied, after a few moments of hesitation. "Lead the way" He chuckled.

As they walked, they chatted some more, sharing thoughts about cases, the law, and ridiculous perp names that Sonny had encountered during his years as a detective, ("You arrested a guy called Dick Hertz?" "Crazy right?")

Carisi was happy to learn more about Rafael, see the softer side of him, which was just as hot as the snarky work version of him, (in Sonny's opinion at least). Meanwhile Rafael had learned that Sonny was just as loud outside of work as he was in work, which to be honest wasn't surprising and kinda endearing to say the least.

Once they entered Sonny's apartment, Picatso rubbed up against the pairs legs, seeking attention from his owner and this new person he'd brought into the house.

"Hey stinky man" Sonny greeted the eager cat, leaning down to give him a quick pet, before shutting the door behind them and putting up his coat, "Want anything to drink? I got wine, whiskey, tea, coffee, water" He stated, turning around to look at Rafael, smiling a bit. Hopefully his apartment was clean enough, he didn't have much of a chance to clean up beforehand but he thought it looked presentable.

"I'll have a whiskey" Barba replied, hanging up his coat and glancing down at the cat, it was rubbing up against his leg and trying to sniff him to make sure he wasn't an enemy. Rafael wasn't particularly fond of felines but Picatso (what'd the cat do to be named that) seemed reasonable, he leaned over, giving his hand to sniff before he gave the cat a hesitant pet on the head, Picatso purred quietly, liking the attention from the new human.

"He likes you" Carisi smiled, coming back with two glasses, one with whiskey and another with wine. "I think thats the fastest ive ever seen him warm up to someone" He chuckled, handing the glass of whiskey to Barba as he got up. Picatso protested the end of the attention with a quiet meow, he looked to his owner for more but he paid him no heed.

Rafael smiled softly, taking the glass.

"Come, let's sit" Sonny lead Rafael inside, sitting on the couch and motioning for Barba to sit next to him, which he did.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment, before Rafael spoke up.

"How long have you wanted to go out with me" He asked, Sonny looked slightly embarrassed.

"You don't have to be a detective to notice that" he chuckled, sipping at his drink.

Sonny turned slightly pink, and sipped his wine

"Its fine, it's kinda cute actually"

At this Sonny blushed harder, "A year or so" he mumbled.

Rafael smiled a bit, but hid it by taking a sip of his whiskey. "If it makes you feel any better I've probably been pining for you for longer" He chuckled.

Sonny laughed at this quietly, "Wanna bet?" he joked. "During the moustache or after?" he asked

"Oh god, please never again remind me of your awful moustache"

"I thought it looked good"

"It made you look like a cheap pornstar from the eighties"

"I bet teenage you would've jumped at the chance to sleep with a pornstar back then"

Barba just laughed, and Sonny laughed with him. Both men unconsciously leaned closer to each other. Sonny would never be sure if it was them being comfortable with eachother, or him being slightly more confident (due to the alcohol from dinner and the drinks now), or a bit of both that made him do it but he closed that gap between them after a moment of silence, by pressing his lips to Rafaels and kissing him, softly and slowly.

Rafael kissed back after a moment of surprise. Sparks flew between them and Sonny was astonished that the other would kiss back. Soon enough, the drinks were abandoned and Sonny deepened the kiss, moving closer.

That endeavor, however, soon devolved into Sonny kinda straddling the ADA and them hardcore making out, Rafels hands in Sonny's hair, removing it from the hold that the detectives hair gel had it in, and Sonny's arms around Rafaels waist, keeping the pair close.

By Sonny's standards, this was probably the best make out session her ever had the pleasure of being involved in, and judging by the way it was going he was hopefully going to be experiencing it much more.

[Rollin' in the deep] carisi how was ur date

did you guys talk wistfully about everything and nothing while staring into each others eyes

[Sonny days] that is the cheesiest thing ive ever heard

and me and my sister once talked for an entire hour in just cheese puns

[Rollin' in the deep] pffft

[Sonny days] getting back on topic

it was fine

normal first date stuff

we kissed

[Rollin' in the deep] a kiss?

thats nothing

tell me when u fuck

[Sonny days] haha

even though you'll probably be the first one i tell

[Rollin' in the deep] fuck yeaaaahhh

give me those relationship deets or i will die

i've watched you 2 pine for each other for too long, i need to know everything

[Sonny days] yeah yeah, ill tell you more tomorrow its too fuckin late for this shit

night rollins

[Rollin' in the deep] night carisi

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Carly & Drew

Carly: hey Carly: gimme more of what i got last time yea Carly: she had fun on that Drew: Yeah? Drew: tah for the tip-off Drew: doubt she's in the party mood rn though Drew: not seen her for days Carly: ha Carly: heard u need em boy Carly: im bringing the party thats why uve not seen her Drew: who fed you that bullshit like Drew: you still gotta get yours from somewhere Carly: idk 😢 girl @ the other nights party Carly: k so gimme Carly: im not paying tho Carly: u made her sad u make it better Drew: hmm well you know what girls are like, yeah Drew: don't all play nice like yous two Carly: yea & i kno what lads say girls r like too Drew: ain't saying nothing that ain't true me Drew: so I didn't make her sad Carly: dont u kno the truth hurts Drew: better than bullshit though Carly: u like her Carly: u want her to like you Carly: be nice Carly: be fun Drew: how do i know you won't just take it all girl Carly: aw u wanna watch Carly: cute Drew: if it's cute you're doing it wrong Carly: ha Carly: u dont kno her v well do u Drew: I know her well as you do Drew: always up for more Carly: when you run out of drugs you should pick up a �� & try comedy Carly: everyone knows im the one who plays rough Carly: shes sweet Drew: stock is pretty depleted so thanks for the suggestion Drew: reckon you could stock shelves Drew: maccies, maybe Drew: like I said, maybe yous ain't doing it right Carly: ha ty baby 💛 Carly: gimme what i need for free & im good Carly: like i said love that u want an invite Carly: but idk if shed be into it Carly: she dont like ur hair Drew: you expect me to remember what you order? Drew: cute Drew: yeah she does Carly: like u forget anything about her Carly: cuter Drew: where are you then Carly: [sends location] Drew: you together or what Carly: shes on her way if you wanna wait for her Drew: I should talk to her, actually Drew: she's not told you then Carly: that her bro came to you yea Carly: why wouldn't she Drew: so, not total bullshit Drew: just not the full truth Carly: ? Drew: you said she's sad yeah Drew: don't be thick Drew: why would she be sad if he was just getting a few tabs or something Carly: cos he wasnt Carly: im not that thick Carly: i dont need her to spell out his exact order tho not working under the golden arches yet am i Drew: maybe not Drew: maybe if you were paying I'd say different but do you think getting her high is the best thing for her right now Carly: aw u think u kno better Carly: uve got it really bad Drew: so you don't fuck Drew: and you don't talk Drew: what do you actually do Drew: or is it all just for attention like Carly: we do everything Carly: its cute that you think im gonna get graphic so u can wank about it but like Drew: never been shy before Drew: everyone knows Carly: never been in love before boy Carly: everyone knows that too Drew: and I've got it bad Drew: Jesus Carly: this is mutual tho Carly: different vibe Carly: take ur pining to church if u wanna Carly: loves a trier he do Carly: i been schooled on all that Carly: probably keep your hands off yourself tho its a sin Drew: how long though eh Drew: her last didn't last very long Drew: but you know all about that, like Carly: ill take the credit yea Carly: dont be jealous Carly: youre cute too Carly: just not as cute as me Drew: this month maybe Carly: ha Carly: the flavour's 🍓 Carly: what are you? Drew: you already stoned babe? Carly: you gonna be even more 💔 if I am Carly: or that you're vanilla Drew: I know that girl didn't tell you that Carly: do u Drew: like i said Drew: probably lying anyway Drew: idk who you mean Carly: k Drew: you take the piss Drew: no more freebies Carly: after this im not asking baby Carly: relax Drew: yeah right Drew: that rep precedes you too Carly: didnt ask just got Carly: cos yea my rep does Drew: no one gets freebies forever girl Carly: nobodys talking about forever but you boy Drew: you'll still be needing it when you're cleaning up kid's vom from the ballpit Drew: trust me Drew: i know all the types Carly: u get paid for that Carly: be able to afford u Drew: afford my merchandise anyway Drew: my time's a whole other thing babe Drew: speaking of, be there in 15 so be there alright Carly: im there Carly: 💛 Drew: good girl Carly: did that work on the girl from the party? Drew: you wish you knew Carly: ha maybe Carly: but i wouldnt tell u if i did Drew: why not Carly: not me u like Drew: aw don't be jealous Drew: nuff to go round Carly: im not jealous & ur not slick Carly: but k ill try & remember Drew: yeah right Drew: you already told be Carly: what Drew: you so want me Drew: ha Carly: ur pretty ive told lots of people i think u are Carly: so Drew: you're so weird Carly: can be Carly: like you said my rep is well known Drew: yeah Carly: tell me how u like it & ill be that if the day ever comes Carly: but it probably wont Drew: you flirt a lot for someone who's so in love Carly: aw u think im flirting Carly: u havent seen me do it yet Carly: this is talking Carly: im bored Drew: i know Drew: you said Drew: sweet, right Carly: im not gonna tell her ur a good listener Drew: she knows Carly: how? Drew: we talked loads about her brother like Carly: mean then i have 2 ask u to make shit better u kno Carly: shes special u should be trying harder Drew: i can't make her brother not a junkie can i Carly: neither can she Carly: so she dont wanna think about it Carly: feel about it Drew: i'm coming ain't i Carly: u were gonna make me beg tho Carly: least i kno now thats ur thing Drew: this is still my living ain't it Carly: not asking for ur whole stash Carly: bet u gave party girl freebies & u dont even remember her Drew: i bet she didn't need as much as you 2 Carly: ha Carly: if u kno my rep u kno how needy i am baby Drew: ha yeah Drew: not my thing babe Carly: 😢💔 Carly: ur cute Drew: yeah yeah you said Carly: i said pretty Carly: different words Drew: same bollocks Carly: mean Carly: & untrue Drew: i told you that ain't my thing Carly: being nice? Carly: she won't like u Carly: too late to be in her bad boyfriends club Drew: i ain't bad Carly: what are you Drew: wouldn't you like to know Drew: maybe one day Carly: nvm i kno Carly: ur boring Drew: just giving you your chat back Drew: told you it weren't it babe Carly: aw u want my good chat Drew: be less of a waste of time sure Carly: ur one of those lads Carly: cant get hard til ive talked u up Drew: well you ain't paying so Carly: so u want me to fuck you Carly: or what Drew: obviously not Drew: it's a favour for her Carly: so u want her to fuck you Carly: good luck Drew: no Drew: jesus Drew: shut up and i'll be there sooner Carly: be more fun when u are here Carly: so boring Drew: why ain't you with her Carly: shes on her way remember Drew: need a job walsh Drew: no time to be bored Carly: aw u offering Drew: haha Drew: fuck no Drew: you'd be the worst drug dealer in the world Carly: would i Drew: yeah Drew: you can't be doing half the shit Carly: so u never dip in Carly: like i said boring Drew: got money tho ain't i Carly: i dont need money Drew: yet Drew: you've got a few years at best before you ain't young and pretty enough Drew: already told you Carly: i knew u thought i was pretty too Carly: aw Drew: have that on the house as well Drew: you are desperate weren't wrong Carly: never said u were Carly: not here cos i dont want drugs am i Drew: not what i was chatting on but yeah Drew: save some face now girl Carly: u reckon i need you to tell me im pretty Carly: why would i need you to be the first lad to chat like that to me Drew: you're bored? Drew: fuck knows Carly: not trying to get more bored then Drew: me either Drew: g2g Drew: you're next drop Carly: k Carly: have fun

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panda-noosh · 6 years ago

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Ohmigodtheyreopendidimakeit??. I'd like to request something with Kolivan, if that's okay with you. Maybe a royal from some planet enslaved by Galra was saved by Marmoras and hidden on Earth to ensure their safety. Years later the royal reunites with the ressistance leader as a partner of Voltron and to everyone's surprise, they've been lovers this whole time yearning to meet again? Idk i'll take literally anything Kolivan bc i love my baby just as much as i love ur writing ;u;

The people from Earth had arrived.

Kolivan hollowed out his cheeks, running his fingers along his braid. It had been two weeks. Two weeks of Earthlings coming in and out of the ship, none of them you, but all of them having a potential he couldn’t ignore. His mind was elsewhere, though, even as he recruited them and sent them on their way to whatever area of expertise he thought them worthy to work in.

He was preparing himself for yet another wave of disappointment, as sad as it was for him to admit it. Two weeks of looking for your face amongst the new recruits was beginning to ebb away at him, leaving him feeling hollow. He wanted to believe you had made it, that his efforts of hiding you on Earth hadn’t gone to waste - but the longer this recruitment process dragged on, the more he was beginning to doubt his own tactics.

“Everything okay, big guy?”

It was Lance, appearing at Kolivan’s side with a flask of hot chocolate offered forward. Kolivan tried his hand at a smile, reached around and grabbed the flask from the young Paladin, before his expression wavered and he was back to frowning at the door in which the new recruits would soon be bustling in from.

Lance seated himself beside him, sipping at his own paper cup of hot chocolate. Kolivan actually wasn’t a big fan of hot chocolate, but he humoured the Paladin anyway by keeping the steaming flask in his hand.

“You’ve been awfully distant lately,” said Lance. “I know you’re into the whole being mysterious thing, but we haven’t seen you in a while. You know you can tell us if something is bothering you, right?”

Kolivan was grateful for it, even if he struggled to show it. He had spent the majority of his life trusting only the Blade, the people he had trained, the people he would lay his life down for; the fact that Team Voltron had now taken such a swift liking to him surprisingly warmed his heart, no matter how cold he may seem from time to time.

“I think I hear the new recruits coming,” Lance spoke up suddenly, startling Kolivan out of his stupor. His head shot up, mouth opening just slightly before - sure enough - the doors in front of him burst open and Slav came bustling in, leading a new group of recruits into the meeting hall.

Kolivan stood up as Shiro and the other Paladins emerged from the back room, ready to greet the nervous looking people who had just arrived. Kolivan couldn’t help the surge of hope that immediately ran through his system, his yellow eyes training on the group in any attempt to catch a glimpse of you standing amongst them; you wouldn’t be difficult to spot, and Kolivan knew that. He would recognise you from a mile away, plus the fact that you were a royal. You weren’t exactly very subtle in a crowd, not with the way you carried yourself.

He nibbled on his bottom lip. Shiro was talking, but he couldn’t hear him. The crowd was murmuring, and he was certain that one of the recruits had asked about the Blade, but their question was answered by Keith, who quickly noted Kolivan’s distant expression and stepped forward to take the lead.

You weren’t there. You weren’t there. Yet again, another group of recruits had come buzzing through, and you were nowhere in sight. Kolivan’s heart fell into his stomach. He cursed the world, cursed himself for falling in love with someone like you - from the moment he had left you on earth, for your own protection, he should have known he would never see you again. He should have known-

“Oh god, sorry! Sorry!”

The noise did not come from the crowd.

Kolivan whirled around, the blood howling in his ears, because there you were. You had stumbled in from the back room, the very same room in which Shiro and the other Paladins had just emerged from; how had you even gotten in there in the first place?

Shiro rolled his eyes. “I thought I told you to be on time.”

“I’m sorry,” you hissed, trying desperately to straighten out the golden jacket you were wearing. In your hand was a large number of clipboards, all of which seemed to be sliding from your grip with every passing moment. “Have we chosen the new recruits yet?”

Kolivan could have been kicked directly in the back of the head at that moment, and he most likely wouldn’t have felt it.

He hadn’t been away from Voltron for that long. It had been a week, maybe two of his isolation - where had you come from? How had he not seen you, even heard of your arrival?

You hadn’t spotted him yet, considering Kolivan had taken comfort in the shadows. You were much too busy struggling with the clipboards perched on your hip, barely looking up when you waved your hand in Shiro’s direction, telling him to continue on with the speech he was making previously.

Shiro coughed awkwardly, turned back to the crowd and started talking. Kolivan wanted to listen, but then you were looking up and your eyes met his and suddenly there was no crowd. There was no speech being made, no important business to be dealt with.

It was just you and him all over again, and his heart was beating at a million miles per hour and he was saying a silent prayer to gods he didn’t even believe in because you were there, in front of him, after so many years of him struggling to communicate with you.

It was one step. That was all it took for him to shove past Lance and scoop you up into his massive arms. Immediately you buried your head in the crook of his neck, and Kolivan could feel the damp of your tears against his flesh, but he paid it no attention. The only thing he could really concentrate on was the feel of your arms around his neck and the way you felt so light in his arms.

The Paladins and the crowd had long since gone silent, watching the spectacle unfold in confusion.

“You two know each other?” Lance perked up.

You buried your head deeper into the crook of Kolivan’s neck.

“Very well,” Kolivan mumbled. He didn’t know if the Paladins could hear his reply, didn’t really care.

That was when you pulled away and pressed your lips to his own at long last. It was the moment he had been waiting for, but the moment he had been too afraid to initiate in the beginning - it had been years, after all. Years since he had held you like this, years since he had kissed you and made you feel important. Your feelings were bound to have shifted, no matter how much you hugged him now.

“Why aren’t you on earth?” Kolivan whispered against your flesh. “You were safe on earth. I needed you to stay safe...”

“I couldn’t leave you,” you replied. “I stayed for a few years, Kolivan, I really did, but the thought of you putting yourself into danger every single day, not knowing what you were doing or how you were - I couldn’t do it. I had to find you.”

Kolivan squeezed his eyes shut, squeezed you that little bit tighter. Oh, how he wanted to argue, how he wanted to call you stupid and irresponsible for even thinking of following him into the war that could end everything.

But Kolivan had learned to put himself in other peoples shoes. He imagined himself on earth, you in space fighting off things that had the intentions of pure evil; he would have done the exact same thing. He wouldn’t have even thought twice.

And maybe that’s why he pressed you a little tighter into his body, nuzzled his head a little deeper into your collar bone, whispered “I love you,” a little more fiercely - because you were here now, and Kolivan was realising now that he wasn’t ready to let you go again.

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tartsheep · 6 years ago

Text

I dont really like doing this sort of thing...but I really dont know what else to do.

I need help getting away from my controlling, manipulative partner. I've been trying to find a job since we moved, but this town is really small and no one has wanted to give me an interview. I've been applying for online jobs too like customer service work at home and also nothing. I try calling them but either I get voicemail and they dont call me back or they just say No. I'm still trying to get a job but things are getting dire. Like I said I dont know what else to do. I dont have any friends or family here, but I can't stay here anymore. I dunno where to start on this...I've been with my partner years and the whole time he's been abusive. Though he stopped physically attacking me just over a year ago, he still threatens me and emotionally/psychologically torments me. I've tried leaving so many times but it's always failed one way or another. He wont leave even though I tell him to. And now recently he managed to steal ownership of our vehicle and home. I paid for them, but because he doesn't let me do shit alone he signed the paperwork and now they're in his name. So I have nothing now.

It's not just me though, if it were I would just walk away and be homeless, that would be better than this. We have a kid together (but due to the laws where she was born, I have full custody of her by default.) I can't just walk out into the streets with her obviously. My partner has never hurt her or treated her like he does me, but she is obviously affected by his behavior towards me and him just being a jackass. And while I know not everyone thinks this is important, we do have a dog and a cat that I would Like to take with me because he abuses animals when left unchecked (but with me around I divert his attention away from them cause they're just animals, like...leave them alone.) So going to a shelter isnt very easy with a dog and cat in tow.

Anyway...again I dont know what else to do. I've been trying to get a job to no avail. On top of this I have chronic pain, which sometimes leaves me bedridden for days at a time. And of course my partner doesn't help with this, he just belittles me for being lazy and degrades me...and I get no help for it. My doctors don't even believe I have chronic pain so I'm not even getting treated for it.. I'm at the end of my rope. I've tried kicking him out, I've tried leaving, I've tried calling police; none of it has worked, no one has helped. And now I'm so sick of it all and feel so trapped, I'd rather kill myself than be stuck with him for the rest of my life...

So I dont know...I guess I'm gonna have to try to keep going. Just keep calling for jobs..I'm trying to get into online school with student loans and save whatevers left of my loans to get us out of here. But, if you can, it would help speed things along if you could maybe donate like a dollar or a quarter or literally anything, or even just reblog this so it gets around to more people. Please, I can really use any help at all. I'm already trying to sell what few possessions I have left to help me along. Like I said even just a couple cents helps. Or I have some art stuff on redbubble, if you wanted to buy that, that would help and then you get something, you know...There's not much a selection, I havent been able to work on anything lately because of the state of my home life...but maybe look, or like I said just spread this around.

I'm sorry to ask for help like this but....I'm lost. I've tried so many different things, I had come up with so many plans of escqpe, all of it to go to shit. I've become horrendously depressed, to the point of suicidal thoughts (which hasnt happened in like 3 years) and am having mental breakdowns. I just need a little help, some encouragement, something...

Like I said, anything helps. Here is my PayPal if you want to/can donate:

Donate via PayPal

Or my redbubble if you want to check that out instead:

RedBubble

Or just reblog if you can.

Thank you for reading this and helping.

#abuse #help #i need help #emotional abuse #physical abuse #abuse tw #need to leave #escape #pain #chronic pain #kid #donate #reblog #store #anything

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skizmin · 7 years ago

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minghao!soulmate au

prompt: if someone touches you, your soulmate feels warm where you’ve been touched and can sense how you feel about the contact (uncomfortable, calm etc;)

genre: fluff soooo much fluff, soulmates!au, very very brief and vague ment of sexual harassment its tiny pls dont be put off, college!au

a/n: hey minghao, i miss you, please rest lots and become healthy for seventeens next comeback!!

okay so

throughout your younger years youve never really paid much attention to your soulmate, ofc your parents told you when you were about four that the weird warm things you were feeling was your “one true love that you’ll meet later” and whatnot

i mean of course youd chuckle sometimes when your cheeks got all warm and an annoyed feeling fleetingly passed through you knowing your soulmate must be being coddled by one of his aunts or smth

but other than that

you just went on with your life

it wasnt until you were sixteen did you start paying more attention to it

sometimes youd get a bit worried when youd feel a warm spot on your arm and a surge of slight anger in your heart but it was always quickly replaced by happiness

you knew it was his friends hitting him by then so you just chilled tf

even when you felt your ass became VERY warm, you felt the same anger/happiness flow through your body so you just shook the fact that your soulmates ass just got BEAt off and continued what you were doing.

youll have junhui to thank for that later

so by the time you were going into university you had become very aware of the fact that your soulmate was barely ever getting hugs anymore

and you just :^((( poor bby

and an idea popped into your head like !!!

my soulmate feels warm when i get hugged akdfksjla

instantly you were like IM GONNA HUG EVERYONE!!!!! EVEN IF ITS AWKWARD

so like, first day on campus housing grounds you found your dorm house and with that your RA housemate

she was cool and you where like hhhhhhh

i barely know you but

i have this duty of care for my soulmate so im just gonna

and you hugged her rly big and you felt uncomfortable at first but also so proud of yourself like wow

get you a girl like me ;^))

anyway your housemate is like “oooooookay, this is your room here and its just us and three others who’re already here”

youre awkwardly like cool okay see u later

amd ur blushing rly hard but hey at least you did it

anyway fast forward a couple weeks and youre like hugging all your new friends everytime you see them and theyre like wow shes clingy but they still luv you

and youre!!

so!!

comfortable!!

abt doing it now like “hey hugs????? hugs are my shit.” ya feel?

cut over to minghao whos going to the same university as you with junhui

they both moved from china and minghao misses his fam so much :^(((

particuarly his mums hugs which he got all the time and sometimes he thought it was annoying but now hes like hhhh

MUM BRING ME BACK

minghaos mum was also rly open about haos soulmate and loved hearing about her

like one day hao came home (age 18???) fuming bc he felt his chest get warm in class and then his butt and a really strong feeling of fear and uncomfort and disgust filled him and he immediately knew what happened but he didnt feel anything else after that and he was so glad but still and his mum was like hao that happens to girls :^((( im sorry your soulmate must feel awful rn

and hao felt sick in his stomach and he was like “im gonna kill anyone that does that to my soulmate again mum !!!!!!!!

and his mum was so proud

anyway hes almost fluent in korean by now and luckily junhui is good at making friends and found some that speak madarin and korean too so!!

their new friend jackson and some others are constantly with hao and hui being like “no that means square, this is how you say suspense” n shit

and hao learnt rly easily!! so did hui!! anyway

lately hao has been feeling his soulmate hug a lot of people lately and hed be rly happy except hes sorta

“is my soulmate dating someone rn?? :^((”

and hed remind himself you can date whoever you want before you meet him

but hed still be all emo bc he wants love too and he misses his family and hes in a foreign country and hes failing one of his subjects bc how is he supposed to know all the non latin korean terms for all the flowers and plants they get pop quizzes on

and he just wants to hurry up and meet you bc hes all

“everythings gonna be fine when i meet my soulmate!!!!!! theyre gonna make everything perfect for me!!!!!”

like, hao sweetie

calm down

but he’d be so determined like legit whenever junhui was with him and they were around people he’d be like JUNHUI TOUCH MY ARM

and he’d look around frantically for someone being like “tf my arm is warm gosh dang wonder what my soulmates up to lol” but he’d be a bit disappointed every time.

anyway tho so jackson invites him and junhui to his friend jaes party after teaching them all the korean slang shit

legit hes like

“guys. i think youre ready for your first party”

junhui nearly cries

little does he know youre??? invited to the same one by your housemate jimin (jyp gang here we go)

anyway you go to the party and are determined like legit hugging everyone you meet and jimins next to you like

im rly sorry about her dont ask

and minghaos in the kitchen like!!!! wth my soulmate keeps hugging people junhui smh smh

he’s slightly buzzed and hella jealous

anyway he goes to the loungeroom for a sec to find his friend sicheng who just messaged that he was here

and wow best luck ever you walk up to junhui and jae and meet them both!! youre all

JAEE THANKS FOR HAVING THIS PARTY IM Y/N and you give him the biggest hug and then you turn to junhui whos all

hi im junhui

and smiling awkwardly and youre like

NICE TO MEET YOU!!!!!

and give him an even bigger hug than you gave jae and jae and jimin are watching you like wtf and junhuis like awkwardly patting your back and IN COMES MINGHAO WHOS GETTING SICHENG A DRINK

hes like jeSuS chRiSt how many time does she have to hug her s/o in the span of an hour!!!!!!!!

and he feels random extra warmth spurt on his back and hes like what sort bf/gf pats their s/os back lmao and then he seens you hugging junhui and he like

pauses for a second

then hes like haha gtta be a coincidence that i can see a georgeous random stranger hugging my best friend in the same way i can feel my soulmate hugging someone rn

amd junui sees hao and a wave of relief passes over him and he grabs your shoulders and pushes you away like

MINGHAO HEY!!

and you turn around as junhuis like “this is y/n, friend of a friend of jacksons ad jaes”

and minghaos like HOLY SHIT I FELT THAT MY SHOULDERS JUST GREW WARM

and then you meet eyes with the most goRGEOUS boy youve ever seen like HOW can someone look like that

and as soon as you meet eyes your body just gets soWARM and your heart like

fuckin swells and shit

and youre like ohmygodohmygod whats happening

and hes looking at you with the widest eyes ever and everyones like “wow they must find each other pretty hot theyre just staring at each other”

and suddenly minghao grabs sichengs hand and just places it on his chest and sichengs like wtf no homo

and you feel warmth on your chest and a surge of shock, excitement and hopefulness rush through your blood but the first thing you say is

WTF YOU PERV as youre grabbing your chest and junhui finally catches on and walks up and pokes you in the stomach and you yelp and minghao just touches the warm spot on his stomach and smiles SO wide

he legit runs up to you like OHMYGOD YOURE MY SOULMATE TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IVE DREAMT OF MEETING YOU MY WHOLE LIFE

and he goes to hug you but stops himself

by now everyones gone to give you some privacy

and youre like wot!!!!! hug me!!!!!!

but he just says “dont you have a partner?? im not doing anything with you until you and them break up” he ain no homewrecker sweeties no cheating in this household

and youre just like

????????? what ?????????

“youre always hugging your partner!! its hard not t notice, youre so proud after too :^(((”

and you start laughing

hes just pouting at you like whattttttttttttt

you say in between laughs

im hugging people for you!!! you havent been getting hugs lately, and i like it when you get hugs i love the feeling so i thought id hug a bunch of people so you could feel warm anf fuzzy inside!!!

he looks at you like,,,,,, oh,,,,,,

and then he swoops you into the biggest bear hug ever and you feel warm and fuzzy except its not the same. it feels so

so real??????

you almost start crying and then he pulls away looking teary eyed too

“y/n was it??? im minghao. and im looking forward to hugging you and being with you for the rest of my life.”

youve never smiled wider as you jumped into him and gave him your first kiss while thinking of how great your future was gonna be.

fin.

hope yall liked that shit!!!!!!

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erosjeon · 7 years ago

Text

Kalopsia

Pairing: Hybrid!Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff & Smut

Summary: You walk into your home one day to find your cat walking on two feet, in a human form.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Words: 2.5k

You kicked the door shut after trying your best to get it opened with your unavailable hands that carried the heavy groceries. With a grunt you managed to reach for your cross body and throw it over the couch while making your way to the kitchen to put down and organise all the things you bought.

You had a simple life, a twenty years old girl who’s trying to make a living in this cruel world. Your parents had passed when you were young and ever since then you had to make your own money, be it from taking extra shifts at the cafè you worked in to working at McDonald’s where you used to visit when your parents were alive and wonder why people wanted to work there when most of the customers were absolute garbage and the atmosphere is unforgiving and suffocating. You had come to the realisation that those people didn’t have a choice because after all you had bills and a degree to pay for.

You would describe yourself single, you and your boyfriend broke up about a year ago, you would be really upset and heart broken if he wasn’t a douchebag and a selfish piece of shit or maybe because you only dated for a few months and realised he wasn’t the one for you.

You would say that you’re living in this apartment alone but you had a cat, a male adorable Scottish fold with the fluffiest fur ever. He was the only thing keeping you going through your hard times, he would always come and rub his head onto your feet when you arrive home, he always wanted your attention and would would beg and purr for your pettings just like he is now.

You crouch down to run your fingers through his adorable ears with the biggest smile sprawled onto your face, you can never help it when he looks at you like that. Only if a real man can actually look at you like this.

“Hi Kookie” you said while stretching each syllable out of adornment.

“How have you been? Were you being a good boy?” You said while peppering his fur with kisses near his ear and neck which earned you a lot purr and a lick from him.

Your cat wasn’t the typical cat that scratched at its owners if they touched him or pet him too much, yes he would get fiesty sometimes but most of the time he was peaceful and understanding. When you cry, you would find him at your lap looking as sad as you or dragging a toy in your direction in hopes that if you see him play around attend to your commands that you would feel mused and feeling better. You swore that he’s not a normal cat.

You carried him in your arms after organising everything in place. You headed to your room and put him into your bed where you would walk to your wardrobe to get a change of clothes. You took of your shirt followed by your bra, you didnt need to be suffocated at home wearing these merciless boob imprisonment outside was bad as it is, you put your head and arm through your tank top and changed your jeans into your matching pyjama shorts.

You liked to lay down in bed and pet your cat when you came back from a long day in attempt to gather a bit of energy to get up and try to make dinner. Kookie must be starving yoi thought as you patted at your lap to get your cat to come to you, which he obviously did you could swear that he liked being there maybe a little too much. You didn’t like your cat eating processed smelly canned food that they scam people with at the market, when you first got your cat 7 years ago, you didn’t have much money to get him special cat food and you would feed him whatever you were eating which he actually found much better than canned food that you bought for him when you finally earned money, he refused to eat it and you decided to never feed him it again.

“Sometimes, I wish you can speak to me” you said while rubbing his right ear between your thumb and pointer, he liked it the best when you petted his sweet tiny ears like that.

“I just feel silly when I speak about my day for hours when you probably can’t understand anything I’m saying apart from the word food” you laughed at yourself. Strangely your cat growled and it almost sounded like a scoff, did you just offend your cat?!

“Sorry. But you know im going to talk about my day either way” you shot him a sweet smile. He settled his head between his stretched paws that laid on your stomach.

“I… I think I’m going to quit” you said slowly. You didn’t expect your cat to understand the kind of world you live in. You are a hard working person but you can barely manage doing notes for class when you had two jobs like that, besides neither paid well for the long hours you worked. You though of quitting your job at McDonald’s because it was tough and was a complete crap of a job and the shifts you worked could spare you an entire night that you can use studying or maybe in the future, spare that time to work for someone who pays well.

“I’m just tired you know? I feel like my brain cells are dying when I work there. The people treat you so horribly, when I work late at night and go to clean the dirty tables I get groped and it feels disgusting. The smell is disgusting and I dont even comment on how bad the food we sell it. I feel so bad for selling people something that will reduce their life span” you sighed.

“I guess I really had enough, huh?” You said while picking up his left ear and massaging his head. The cat infront of you seemed to have understood you and gave you a pity look, which had quickly changed to what you could make out as annoyance and anger. Why are cats so weird yet absolutely beautiful.

“I guess it’s queue for dinner” you cheered,

“Grilled chicken? Or that salmon I just bought from the market baby?” You asked as if your cat would answer. You knew he would probably like salmon better and honestly, you were craving some salmon and a good beetroot salad.

The cat had followed you to the kitchen when the smell of fish showered your entire home. Of course you thought, what a typical cat he is. You noticed as he gets closer to you as you grill the salmon on the hot surface, he had wrapped your calf with his tail while looking up to you which made you squeal at his cuteness but remembered how dangerous it is for him to be close to an oven.

“I love you Kook but you have to go away, it’s dangerous here” you said before reaching for the fridge and taking out the rest of the ingredients necessary for the dish.

You had spent the rest of the night eating your dinner and watching a movie play on your TV with your beloved cat. You were feeling pretty tired and chose to end your night after emailing your boss at McDonald’s not to expect you at work anymore, you finally chose to quit but you weren’t sure if you were ready for the consequences. It’ll be okay, you whispered to yourself before shutting your eyes and brain to sleep.

The next morning, you woke up before he did like any other normal day. You headed to the bathroom and got ready to get ready for your classes, you would normally make food in the morning and put it down in a bowl so that when your cat is hungry it can eat while your not home, but as you quit your job at McDonald’s, today consisted of going to classes and coming back home early.

You made some coffee and put down a small breakfast for your cat incase it woke up before you got home but you doubted it since you’re going to come back within 3 hours and he’s showing no sign of wanting to get up any time soon. Smiling, you wore your winter coat and wrapped your neck with your favourite soft scarf and headed outside to start your day.

Classes were the same, difficult but manageable with effort anf effecient note taking, which you clearly havent done enough of. You didn’t make friends with the people that are in your course because you simply didnt have enough time to, but they all seemed somewhat nice you guessed.

Once the class was over you had a small break before the other one begins and you headed to the local university cafe for some coffee in attempt to really wake up. You waited in the queue to order your coffee, it was only one man with a slightly grey hair in front of you. You assumed he was one of those obnoxious frat party boys who dyed their hair a different colour every weekend. You rolled your eyes when you heard him ordering the same drink you were going to.

“Hi. Can I get a caramel machiatto please?” You asked of the barista, who nodded and asked for your name and the money, which of course you had given before you proceeded to wait for your drink. You had realised that the man in front of you was gone, that was quick you said before taking the drink that was placed on the table in front of you, that had said caramel machiatto on it.

You had sipped some before the same man reappears infront of you. Why was he here you said before turning away, only to hear your name and the drink you ordered being called out by the barista.

Fuck.

You turned around, and met the man again but this time, he was facing you and dear God, he was gorgeous. So unreal that you’d think he was an anime character. And you might have embarrassed yourself by taking his drink.

“Sorry, i thought you took your drink and left and I didn’t bother to check the name on the cup” you said shyly.

He took the drink placed on the table and turned it around before sipping it.

“No worries. Y/N” he said. He knew you?

“Um… Do I know you” you said confused.

“If that was a pick up line… You could do much better” he chuckled.

“Ahh.. not that. Its just you knew my name and I’m not much of a social person is all” you laughed as crismon stains your cheeks. You weren’t sure if you said that out of confusion or admiration and wanting to keep talking to him.

“The cup says your name” was all he said before giving you a smile.

“Right! Sorry again” you said,

“No problem at all” he said, before you left the cafe and continued to your class.

You were on your way home after that incident and you were smiling like a fool. At least we go to the same university, we’ll probably meet again, you thought. You didn’t know that this was not the only unexpected thing to happen today because as you turned the lock of your home open, you were met with a naked man.

“What the fuck?!” You screamed after taking in the scene right infront of you.

He wasn’t just one naked man, no he had what appears like cat ears and a fluffy long tail that you can mistake as your cat’s. You didn’t dare to look down and met his eyes, he was clearly as freaked out as you are, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. The more you looked into his eyes the more they resembled your cat’s that you stare hours in every night. You can never mistake any detail regarding your cat but this? This is insane!

“What are you doing in my house?!” You tried to be calm, not knowing how to deal with this situation. Was he a pervert with some strange kink, going to peoples homes and freaking them out like that?

“You’re home early” he said with a shrug, his voice sounding like the sweetest melody. When you fathomed what he just said you took a step back in shock. What the hell was that.

What?

“Who are you?!” You tried to stay calm and collected.

“Really Y/N? You can’t tell how your cat looks like?”

What?

“Thank God you found out this way, I was getting tired of having to stay in that stupid cat form and eat out the small bowl you would put my food in” he said annoyed.

This is not your cat. The man in front of you is definetly someone mental.

“If you think I’m gonna believe this then your out of your fucking mind” you retaliated.

He moved forward towards you before he shut the door forcefully and pinning you on it. He smirked before saying

“I can make you believe me”

He took your hand and placed them on the familar ears, they felt and looked just like your cat’s. You couldn’t help but rub them and the man in front of you leant towards your hand and purred.

You couldnt deny the fact that this pretty much is your actual cat in human form. All the memories of appearing naked and changing clothes in front of him rushed in your mind. You smacked your self mentally and stayed away from Jungkook. Yeah that was the name you had given your cat that you’d usually call Kookie.

“Why are you running away from me now?”, he said confused.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re human” you ignored him.

“Because im not” he said as if it was obvious.

“You know what I mean. You’re a hybrid, same thing” you said sighing.

“Because like you are now, you’ll distance yourself from me” he looked down, all the smug that was on it disappeared. You sighed again, you’d never leave your cat. He was your life and you’ve even wished that he could talk to you. Your wishes had come true.

“Kookie” you said before making your way to him, his ears perked up and so did his head in attempt to look at you.

“I’d never leave you. You know that” you said as you took your fingers to push through his ears like you always do. He purred again and placed his arms around your waist while he rubbed his head into your chest.

“I-I always wanted to do this… have you between my arms instead of the usual way around” he said and you smiled.

“I do feel weird about it, but I could get used to it” you smiled.

A/N: Part 2 is out now

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appareils-futiles · 3 years ago

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4.9.22; 6:47pm

The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur, I went to BCC to take the practice math test and I finished the zoom class. Apparently I failed the test. Im honestly, just tired of this thing, it’s been going on since 2007 and I just want to end it so I can move on to college. I havent decided If Im going back to the zoom classes when they resume for another 3 months (realistically, I didnt really learn anything more than what I knew already) or if I’m going to thug it out with a self-bought work book as originally planned. I honestly, just dont want to hit 33 in November and still be on the same path, I want to hit 33 and be enrolling in a BS degree. I did enroll in HHA (Home Health Aide) training though, 3 weeks, Monday-Friday from 9am-2pm (it was supposed to be 4 but she’d let us leave at 2) I, enrolled as a back up situation to be honest, I graduated yesterday but as the weeks went by, I realized that it I would actually be really good at it and that I can learn a lot towards a future career in the medical/psychology field as an HHA. The classes themselves weren’t hard, neither were the skills. it’s mostly just remembering things and then eventually figuring out my own flow when applying them in the real world. My teacher was super nice and friendly towards me and a lot of the students were too, especially Ashley. I got super sick my 2nd week and thought it was just a cold, turns out it was UTI, that turned into a kidney infection, lovely. I went to the ER on Tuesday, and they gave me an antibiotic, pain meds and an IV. They were packed so they couldnt keep me. Nor would I want to stay, but they put the IV and intrevenous meds in my left hand. No bueno. I went back to school the next day feeling like doo doo. I was disoriented, sweating like a virgin at a prison rodeo/teeth chattering cold, in severe pain from the kidneys up, my right ear was killing me. And my head? I literally couldnt move my head for almost a week. Id fall asleep anywhere, I was late to school at least 3 days in a row (honestly dont remember) and my 1st skills, I barely passed. I barely even remember it. My second skills was pointless cause I don’t even think the teacher was paying attention but this isn’t about her or them, it’s about me. I did pass all my written tests though, and my final written test with a 93 (?) so I’m a happy little clam. Ashley even said she was really worried about me because I wasnt my usual self and I looked really sick and down. :) I paid the final 300$ and have since decided that if I can’t pay the full price for something, I’ll wait cause the stress of possibly not having the rest when it’s due is too much. The issue was the physical. I was freaking out cause I thought it had to be done that day, as the teacher said. Turns out I just need to give it in ASAP. Because it needs to be printed as soon as possible. So I go to City MD by the school and after a rude doctor and a back and forth they try twice to take blood. I learned I can do it, from my right arm, just need something to squeeze. (the tests are in btw, I just dont know wtf they say cause I’m no doctor), the manager there told me to go to LabCorp a few blocks off to have the 12 panel drug screening, so I make an appt via browser on the phone, after not getting them on the phone, walk all the way over there and the rude ass lady was like ‘‘we dont do that here, you gotta go here’‘ and hands me a paper. she says they wont take me without a referral. So I gotta make an appt with my PCP, then have her fill out the part of the paper that has the basic shit like height, weight, whatever, and give me a referral to get the drug screening done, and the make the appt at the 2nd LabCorp office ASAP to get my drug screening done. Hopefully those results won’t take forever. And then I can get my certificate. This is all just annoying and profoundly unnecessarily complicated I mention that I went to a City MD my 1st week of schooling and they turned me away because they do take my plan but not for the medical reason so they wanted to charge me 250$ outta pocket? The people at the one that did it? Claimed they were going to override it as they tended to do with the students from there and if I got a bill in the mail tell the insurance company, that it was a mistake or some shit. IDK. I weighed myself too, I went from 160 ish when I got here in mid December to 171.6. I’ve been looking for recipes and workout stuff. But all in all, im over this whole situation and I’m ready to just move the hell on. In general. Period. A-F

#me myself i and yours truly #life update #Appareils-Futiles

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sunshineyoongles · 7 years ago

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Sweet as a Flower(shop)- a yoonmin fanfic

Hi, this is the first fic ive written in actual years so here’s hoping i havent gone all rusty, huh?

AO3

When Jimin sets up his flowershop business in the space below Yoongi's flat, neither knew how much it would change their lives.

alternatively:

Yoongi has the opposite of a green thumb and florist Jimin despairs (but it's okay because they're both falling in love) ____________________________________________________

Min Yoongi was aware of the new flower shop that had opened up in the shop below his apartment- oh trust him. He was well aware. Painfully aware. For the past three weeks, he had been woken up at 8am on the dot by hammering and drilling whilst the store was being renovated. His (asshole) friends thought it was a blessing that something managed to get Yoongi into a somewhat healthy sleep pattern, but he and his under-eye circles begged to differ.

This particular morning, however, greeted him differently.

Opening a cautious eye and preparing himself for the shock of power tools, Yoongi instead found sweet, sweet silence. He had woken up naturally. Bliss. He flops back onto his bed with a relieved groan, body going limp and becoming one with his mattress.

Not too long after his phone alarm starts wailing, sending him bolt upright. Below the large numbers of 8:30 AM (he’d woken up on his own before 8? He entirely blamed the builders from downstairs for messing with his body clock that much), Yoongi saw a notification pop up.

‘Mums birthday. Don’t forget a present.’

…In hindsight he should have set that reminder for yesterday because now it was his mums birthday and (it takes his sleepy brain slightly longer than he’s proud to admit to work out) he has approximately…two hours to get ready, get a gift, and drive to the place he had agreed to meet her at for breakfast.

In other words, he was royally fucked. Don’t get him wrong, he adored his mother! But between the unnaturally early mornings forced on him recently and late nights at the studio, Yoongi hadn’t been quite on top form.

He drags himself out of and starts up the coffee machine, leaning against it and smacking his lips as he tries to think of something to do. His eyes search over the room to see if there’s anything he can use as a makeshift gift while blaming amazon for the lateness of the ‘real’ gift.

There’s nothing. Unless you count the scarf in the corner but first of all its spring and second of all Yoongi has a sneaking suspicion his mother had bought it for him a few years ago… best not to risk it.

The coffee machine beeps and Yoongi takes a well needed sip, closing his eyes to enjoy the caffeine as well as the new silence in the flat now that flower shop has (hopefully) finished being done up.

It hits him.

Flower shop. Flowers make good presents, they look expensive and it’s right underneath his feet… he could even try to weasel a discount by telling the owner he lived upstairs and complaining about the noise. That would buy him enough time to get her a proper present, one closer to what she really deserved in time for the dinner that evening.

He grins proudly to himself and kisses the side of the mug.

“I can always count on you to save me when I’m in trouble…”

With a speed that can only be achieved with the threat of a mother’s disappointment, Yoongi was showered and dressed and on his way downstairs. He was dressed in his least ripped pair of jeans and a jumper she had gotten him for his birthday the year before. Perfect mother-pleasing material.

He pats his pockets to make sure he has his keys and phone as he walks around the side of the building to see the shop just being opened up. A short boy arranging some displays on a table outside so they catch the dingy morning light as well as possible.

“Oh, thank god… Yo, you. I know I’m a little early but honestly you’ve been keeping me up early every day for the past- a-ah.” His words die in his throat as the person setting up turns to look at him, gloved hands reaching up to brush coppery hair out of his eyes and leaving a smudge of dirt on his forehead. His eyes are wide and surprised, plump lips slightly parted. Yoongi swallows slightly, not sure if looking that pretty was actually legal at this time in the morning. Especially when you’re wearing ugly gardening gloves and have mud on your face.

“Goodness, I’m sorry! You surprised me there!” The boy giggles and awkwardly gestures to the door, “were you looking to buy? I’ll be in in just a moment once I’ve finished here...”

The reminder of why he was here shakes Yoongi out of his stupor and he nods, mumbling a quick ‘thanks’ before shuffling inside to see if he could find his mum’s favourites. True to his word, the florist steps in a few minutes later, visibly excited to have a customer already in a way that reminds Yoongi slightly of a puppy.

“I didn’t expect to have customers so soon! The display must have really worked-” he continues babbling as he ducks behind the counter and Yoongi can practically picture a wagging tail behind him.

“Is there anything in particular you’re looking for, sir?” The boy asks, and judging from his face and voice, Yoongi assumes he can’t be much older than a teenager.

“Yeah… It’s my mum’s birthday and she loves orchids… so…” He shrugs, not sure what else to say about the flower.

“Orchids, hm?” The boy glances around the shop, tapping his lower lip in thought in a way that drew Yoongi’s eye. Did he mention how plump they were? Probably. It was also probably worth mentioning again.

The florist looked back at him after a moment of contemplation, “What’s your price range? I have a few ideas about bouquets that would be good with orchids, or even just some nice potted orchids?”

“Actually, kid, I was hoping to speak to your manager? Or the owner of this place?”

Yoongi looked at the kid as he just nodded earnestly.

“Yup, that’s me!”

“…You… You own this place?” Yoongi stared, taken aback for a moment. When had tiny, baby children started running businesses?

“Mm… It’s been my dream for quite some time since I graduated… so what did you want to talk to me about?” he meets Yoongi’s gaze and smiles encouragingly.

“Uh, well I live upstairs so…” At that, the Kid’s (technically not a kid?) smile widens until his eyes disappear into crescents and- was that a slightly crooked front tooth? Oh god that’s adorable. Yoongi groaned internally in defeat, unable to bring himself to complain at his new neighbour and dampen his mood for a small discount.

“Oh! I’d been meaning to introduce myself, here” He starts running around, grabbing flowers and ribbon from all over the shop while introducing himself at lighting speed “, I’m Park Jimin, but as we’re neighbours you can just call me Jimin- I’m actually so glad you came to me first because I’ve been worrying all morning about what time you would wake up and if I knocked to introduce myself and woke you I’d feel awful! Oh, Goodness I didn’t even think about the builders! They didn’t annoy you, did they? I hadn’t even considered it, I’m so-“

“Yah, Jimin, It’s fine. They uh… They didn’t wake me up.” The lie hurt his heart to make but the relief that crossed over Jimin’s face made up for it. “I’m Min Yoongi… but I guess Yoongi is fine…”

Jimin beams at him and starts wrapping up the bouquet, something Yoongi hadn’t paid much attention to until now. It looks… expensive.

“Jimin… how much will that cost? Y’know, roughly…?” He rubs the back of his neck, not wanting to look like he’s a cheapskate but also not wanting to bankrupt himself just before paying for breakfast.

“Oh this? Free of charge. Think of it as a gift to a good neighbourship between us!” He holds out the bouquet, smiling as if he wasn’t just letting at least £40 fly out of his pocket for the sake of friendship. If not more.

“I can’t accept that. Firstly, you can’t lose money on your first customer. Secondly, shouldn’t I be the one buying you a housewarming gift? Thirdly… just no.”

Jimin purses his lips at this, hesitating. “Well, I insist.”

“Well so do -” Yoongi gets cut off by a buzz from his phone. It’s his mother. He’s running late.

“Is… Is everything okay?” Jimin watches as the colour drains from Yoongi’s already pale skin, leaving him alarmingly ghostly.

“I’m late… shit. Shit, shit, shit. Okay! I’ll take the flowers for now but I’m paying you back later!” He grabs the bouquet and runs out of the store, an airy giggle following him out as he scrabbles for his keys.

#bts #yoonmin #yoonmin fanfiction #park jimin #min yoongi #bts fanfic #yoonmin fanfic #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan #wassup it's hitman bang

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ohkimani · 8 years ago

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(ignore)

i try to be a good friend. i really do. im always running around all over the place for everyone doing what i can to make sure all of my friends are just fine but sometimes, like tonight at jessie’s birthday dinner, i was just so annoyed with......,,,,,myself. like it just seemed like i couldnt control myself for like two seconds. i was constantly talking and being flamboyant and just so out there and fucking obnoxious. i dont want to be that friend that’s making the most noise at the table anymore. i hate being the one who cracks a dark joke out of nowhere and everyone just gets super quiet and uncomfortable. i just wish i wasnt so.......,..much(??) i hate it. then why im not my loud obnoxious piece of shit self, everyone is like “what’s wrong why are you being such a bitch blah blah blah” and im like “okay yall literally give me side eyes or dont know how to react to my outlandish statements like all the time what’s wrong now that im not being ugly” you know? i just dont know who to be anymore and i dont know if it’s because i was around so many people i know again or if it’s because i really dont have any self control. i know i talk loud (when im not mumbling) because i have terrible hearing and cant really tell how loud im talking but i dont know if anyone else knows that or cares but either way that’s my fault. there were only 12 of us but now i see my social setting maximum capacity is probably like 7-8 people including myself. i just start trying too hard because im so overstimulated and excited about being around people i know. idk. it didnt make it any better that i thought i looked cute and then when jessie and i walked in, everyone talked about how much skinnier i looked but it’s jessie’s birthday you know? she spent hours going back and forth between her mirror and my room to pick the perfect outfit. i guess im just tired of being that annoying friend and no one ever tells me when im doing something annoying so im sitting there afraid to say anything because there’s a part of my body that’s like “shut the fuck up theyre tired of hearing about that. they’re tired of hearing from you. you’re tiresome. what the fuck are you even doing here.” maybe im falling back into that hole that i was in before but this always seems to follow some big gathering. i just get completely absorbed in all of the wrong i did that previous night and i isolate. like literally right now i dont think i want to go to class this week just because i dont want to see anyone and lose control over myself again because im literally like a fucking dog that sees you and ends up clawing your legs when they try to hop on you. i wish i just...had some sort of filter. like a friend of mine was passing around pictures of a transgender girl at our school and making everyone look at it and pick her apart. the one point in the night when i was serious was right then because that was fucking disgusting. so i told her how i thought what she was doing was wrong and that her gender or transition is no one’s business but her own. but she was just trying to justify herself by saying she has never been exposed to different types of people so she doesnt know how to handle it and what not but i just.....i couldnt deal with it,. then i could tell everyone else at the table felt awkward because i had said something but i was just as mad at them because they were the ones taking the phone from her to look at the pictures instead of refusing or knowing that what they were doing was wrong. so instead i look like the obnoxious SJW friend who always has to ruin everyone’s fun. that was exhausting and at that point i just proceeded to throw the rest of the night away. so i gulped down three more glasses of champagne and let myself go.....as usual. ive noticed myself depending on alcohol a lot more lately. not A LOT more but more than usual. i think it’s because ive found my taste in alcoholic beverages so i just continue to hunt after them like rosé and pink moscato and champagne. greta was talking about how i always drink her entire bottle by myself and as she was saying that, i was pouring myself more champagne. the thing is, im not even sure what im repressing so much now that i have to be some type of intoxicated every single night. it’s been at least 8 or 9 nights and i still havent passed on a drop of alcohol at least before bed. i mean when im with him, i just feel so outside of this world. like when we’re in my room and just being playful and he’s just being himself because im being myself, i dont feel all of the self-conscious and self aware things that go through my head like usual. of course i havent given him all of myself completely but i dont think i have to. i think we both have this unspoken understanding about our minds and emotions. we’re on the same level but he’s much better about smiling at everything meanwhile i contemplate the pleasure of death at least once a day.like fuck, i was sunbathing today and while greta was talking i was literally thinking about how i could kill myself without anyone finding me because im a little more than sure it woudlnt change anything. and i know everyone who says that just seems like theyre looking for attention and validation but it’s just like when mia asked me if there was anything stopping me from going through with it and i said ‘no’ then she asked if i cared about how my loved ones would feel and i finally looked up and made eye contact with her. i could tell she was already worried but when i said ‘why would i care if they cared if im already dead. i wont be able to feel or know anything.’ im still not sure what the point of this all is, honestly. i just tend to rant for hours now because i have no idea who would even care to hear me anymore besides medical professionals who are paid to listen to me. i dont want to be annoying. i just want to close off into a corner and never come out. i know i have to go to class tomorrow but i just already dont feel the strength in my soul to so much as look at another human being. it would be great to just not be seen for a few days honestly. of course i probably wouldnt be able to get away with that considering ‘tall and awkward’ has me on high alert and is down for what ever at any second. i wouldnt feel right just going missing like i usually do because now we have more of a connection than before. it’s also scaring me a lot now too because even as im laying here in bed, i can still smell him on my pillows. i tried to go back to sleep after he left today but i couldnt without his arm around me. that’s what scares me. depending on someone else for some sort of comfort or retreat. what happens when they leave? everyone leaves. i just know something is going to happen with him AGAIN that’s going to make me want to fling myself out of a window or something. then again, as they say, ‘third time’s the charm’. maybe time 3 around will be much better because it already feels better. my problem is feeling like im no longer allowed to say anything more than ‘hi” “bye” “oh really” im sorry” to people i see now simply because i dont want to inconvenience them and force them to be an open ear for me. he;s just too good to be true and losing someone like him at this point for me could be so fucking devastating. and i just mean if we ever ended up have to go back to square one as barely friends. i dont know if i could take that. i havent seen this boy since 10 AM and i feel like there is air blowing through my chest, you know? he’s just become such a great friend first and i know he feels it too. anyway time for me to stop being an annoying little fucking bitch cunt at this point im so tirred. dont read this.

#p #ck

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