#havent had time nor drive to draw lately

[nyanfish]

(WIP)

it's so important to me that tsuge is a gay loser w no game.

[itskimtaehyung]

life updates

I feel like i’ve been kind of MIA lately in terms of updating tumblr and all that. Like usually nowadays I just fill up my queue and then log off and I dont really make that many personal posts or original content all that much lately.

Firstly, I want to update you all on all the new stuff I’ve been working on. I started a new painting series which is basically a Yeontan BT21 crossover. I have some ideas for continuing that circle painting series with OT7. I have Yoongi finished and I chose a color scheme for Hoseok. I did a painting for Hoseok’s birthday and I tried a new style that I’ve never done before and I’m really happy with how it turned out I can’t wait for you guys to see it!

In terms of writing, I’m currently working on a YoongixReader fic but it’s going slowly mainly because it’s kind of based on my life and I want to tell the story properly. I have a few scenes writing for some other fics but I don’t have concrete ideas or plots for them yet and I don’t know if I ever will. I plan on finishing the Always series but I’m not happy with the original plan I had for the series so I still have to rewrite my original ending. As for Jeon Jungkook is dead, I wrote part 1 very spur of the moment and honestly I dont remember what I wanted for part 2. I dont know if I’ll ever finish it tbh.

Now that those are out of the way, time for personal updates. As some of you may know, I started uni back in september. Before that I was going to community college to complete my general education requirements and now I’m taking courses that are very focused on my major aka the hard stuff. Also, we’re finally getting into the rocket science courses and they’re really cool!!! My workload is a lot heavier lately and I barely have time for sleep let alone writing and drawing. I’m taking 5 classes this quarter which may or may not have been a mistake but like homegirl wants to graduate on time.

For those of you who were following me during the whole “thirst boi” thing, no, i never hooked up with him, however, he is now one of my very good friends and has introduced me to another guy who’s also become a close friend. Like one time i slept over at their place and we baked cookies and watched cartoons. 

I also mentioned a “cute boy” in one of my classes a while back. I think most of my posts were about wanting to talk to him but not knowing how. Well, I finally talked to him after midterms last quarter, we we also became very good friends. At one point I thought he really liked me. We would do homework together and he would offer to drive me home if we stayed late at the library. I was spending nearly all day everyday with him (and I still do). But sadly, I found out after the quarter ended that he has a girlfriend. tbh I still really like him and sometimes it’s hard spending so much time with him but not being able to be with him ya know? I honestly think the universe is working against me because he is literally like everything I look for in a guy. And he smells like something from my childhood???? Also one time he came over to my apartment when we had a break in between classes and he talked to my housemates and they all really got along with him and also really liked him, *sigh* You’ll see a lot of him in Yoongi in that fic i was talking about earlier.

i dont think I ever told you guys about my housemates. I’m living with one of my best friends from middle school and a few other people. Theyre all super nice and I’m so grateful to live with such amazing people. We all get along so well and have “house outings” on a regular basis. A couple of weeks ago we all went together to get 순두부 for one of their birthdays, and today three of us got pizza together after class and then four of us went together to get boba. And whenever we’re stressed or just need to wind down, we sit on the floor of the living room together (we dont have a couch or like furniture really) and talk and eat snacks and complain about our days etc. and two fo them like kpop/khh too! and we listen to it together from time to time. and we have ramen nights where some of us will cook ramen and just eat it together on the floor. we also tease each other a lot which is fun to some extent but can also be kind of annoying. one of the guys is a couple years ahead of me in school but we’re the same major so sometimes he helps me with homework. I’m also on a design project with him which is also pretty fun. I learned how to use a laser cutter for the project so that was really cool.

It’s midnight and i have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow for class but I still havent showered but im still really full from the pizza and only drank a quarter of my milk tea (its strawberry) (i luv strawberry). Anyway, that’s what’s been going on in my life for the last 5 wish months or so? to my old followers, thanks for sticking with me this long. And to my new followers, welcome, thanks for hitting that follow button. I am grateful to every single one of you for supporting me and encouraging me and giving me a safe place to complain or vent or whatever else i need to. also my housemate caught me writing this and he asked to be included in it lmao. his words were “are you writing about me? are you including any of my jokes in your post? am i not funny enough to be included in your tumblr posts?” and then he told me to tell yall that he caught me writing this and he wanted to be included. I dont think he’d ever be able to find my blog because I dont have it searchable by email nor do i use my real name but oh boy if he’s reading this, thats really creepy of you, tyler.

[pappycat89]

Background for my Dwarf Bardlock, Nicholaus. The campaign hes in is getting a reboot, so i changed him from a fighter to bardlock and had to edit his background a bit. I’ve kept certain things intentionally short/vague because i want to write them separately, especially when it comes to his husband Jonah. (i need all the fluff!!)

It might be changed, as we havent had our new session zero, so things like town names havent been established, and also im keeping his warlock patron stuff super vague depending on what the DM wants to do

Nicholaus, a dwarf, grew up in a small mining village in the mountains, far away from most other places of civilization. The mine had been in his family for generations, and though there was only a handful of miners, the ores and gemstones they mined had kept the village happily wealthy. Nics father, a dwarf, was the current mine owner and mayor of their little hamlet, which was more a title then any official position, and had been a very attentive, if often distracted, father. Though his work kept him busy at any hour of the day, he always made sure he had time for Nic, teaching him all he knew and supporting him in whatever he set his heart on.

Nics mother, a half-orc, stuck out like a sore thumb in the small dwarvish mining village, but though she seemed out of place, she was absolutely adored by everyone in the village. She was part of a traveling performance troupe, where she enchanted people with her songs, often literally. She was slowly growing tired of her nomadic lifestyle, and was just deciding to find somewhere to settle when she met Nics father, and fell madly in love. She took to settled life like a fly to honey, loving learning all the skill she needed for a quiet village life. She was over the moon when she fell pregnant with Nic, but due to unfortunate complications during birth, she was left no longer able to conceive. Though this devastated her to hear at the time, having one child was enough for her, and she devoted herself to Nic. She taught him everything she knew of the bardic arts, instilling him with a love of preforming, as well as cooking and gardening.

Nic's childhood was good and peaceful and yet from a young age he had felt that something important, something integral to him, was missing. He wasn't sure what it was, but over the years it grated on him more and more. He became restless and often irritated. He tried not to take it out on anyone else, knowing that it was no ones fault, and not wishing to push his problem onto others. There were times he was so frustrated he was afraid to open his mouth, worried he would just start screaming and not stop.

The older he got, the stronger the empty feeling inside of him became. It felt like he was missing a limb, but had forgotten what it looked like, and if he could just remember it, it would grow back. He found himself staying awake late at night, staring into nothingness, hoping that somehow an answer would pop into his head, that something would just click, and he would finally know what he was missing.

When he turned sixteen he plucked up the courage to explain how he felt to his parents, about how he felt he lacked something important, and how he wanted to leave to find someone who might have an answer. His mother, who had traveled in her youth, felt he just needed to see a bit of the world but his father was wary, not wanting to put his only child at risk in a world he himself didn't fully understand. After several days of private discussion his parents offered him a deal; If he worked in the mines enough to earn passage with Danaan, a trader that often came to the town to transport their goods, he could travel to the nearest town, experience some of the world, and return. If, afterward, he still felt like he had to leave, he was free to do so. 

So, Nic went to work. He found the mining itself almost as frustrating to him as the part he felt was missing, but found he had both a fondness and a knack for stone carving. In his spare time he taught himself how to carve stone, eventually working up to carving gemstones, and when he had earned his passage with the traders, took his work to town with him, hoping to sell some and show his father he could earn his passage outside the village.

The round trip to the nearest town would take a little over a month, taking the winding mountain roads. It was a peaceful trip, and Danaan took Nic under his wing, teaching him sword craft to pass the time. At night the traders would gather around a fire for a communal dinner, trading stories and songs and Nic enthusiastically joined in, showing off the skills his mother had taught him.

Their stop in the nearest town would be uneventful to most, but to Nic is was like experiencing an entirely different world. He hadn't seen half the races that were in the town, and was almost overwhelmed by the sheer variety of sights, sounds and smells. Danaan had said they'd be in town a week before heading back, and if Nic promised to help fun their little stall for one day (and sell his own wares as well) and always return to the tavern they were staying in by sundown, he could do whatever he liked with the rest of his time. His first day was spent wandering, seeing everything there was to see. The second he worked the stall, excitedly chattering away at everyone who came over (and selling all his carvings, which he was very proud of). The rest of the week passed by in an excitable blur of exploration and shopping, Nic absorbing as much new information as he could.

When the week ended, he considered seriously running away for the first time, but realized he couldn't do that to his parents. His experience of the past week and solidified his decision to leave and though he was afraid they wouldn't understand his need to leave, or that his father would forbid it, he knew he would never forgive himself for just running away. Danaan, having sensed something was wrong and sympathizing, bought Nic his own rapier, promising to teach him how to use it whenever he visited the village.

During the return trip, Nic practiced what he would say, running the scene in his head so many times it started to feel unreal. The closer he got to home, the darker his mood got, convinced he would never be allowed to leave, that he would never get the answers he so desperately needed. Danaan tried to keep his as distracted as possible, but there was only so much to be done while traveling the roads. After some prompting from Danaan, Nic finally opened up, all his worries gushing out. Danaan listened quietly, before offering the only advice he could; be true to yourself. His parents loved him, and would understand this was something he needed, even if they didn't want him to leave.

They returned to Nics village just ahead of a snowstorm, signally an early start to the winter. Danaan and his crew would have to stay in the village until the passes cleared, and Danaan promised Nic that once the passes were open, if he still wanted to leave, he was welcome to join the traders.

The air was tense as he entered his home, an awkward silence hanging between them all. His mother broke the silence, telling them all they could talk about it later, as no one was leaving until the end of winter. That winter was the most uneventful and most stressful winter of Nics life. They all knew he had made his mind up about leaving, and yet no one broached the topic until winter was almost fully over. When the time finally came to talk about it, his father was the one to break the silence, breaking down and giving his son the biggest bear hug he could muster, crying into his shoulder about how proud he was of Nic, and that even though it would pain him to see him leave, if it was what he needed to do then so be it. With similar sentiments, his mother helped him to pack essentials, and waved him goodbye when he and Danaan left.

Over the next few years, Nic traveled as far and wide as he could. He earned his passage as a traveling bard, sometimes preforming with a group, other times alone, never staying in one place for very long. He would write to his parents all the time, telling them about everything he experienced, and letting them know he was ok.

In one town, he discovered a semi-underground fighting arena, where people would put on a persona and fight each other, rarely to the death, but always in real combat. He felt a draw to it, and tried out, soon discovering that fighting in such a spectacle helped drown out the feeling of emptiness inside him; it didn't fill it, but when he fought, when the crowd cheered, it faded to a dull ache he could easily ignore. The thrill of the fighting, as well as the prize money, helped give him direction in his travels, and he found himself often staying in cities and towns for weeks or months at a time. When he grew restless, or the emptiness in him grew too loud, he would move on, finding another fighting arena, earning a small following and a reputation as a fighter.

One night, while journeying between towns, Nic awoke to a figure sitting by his fire. This figure offered Nic help in finding what he was missing, and pointing him in the direction of a town famed for its great library of medical knowledge. All he asked in return was a favour of his own, owed at an indeterminate time. Nic agreed, and promptly woke up to an empty campsite, the morning sun just breaking the horizon.

At the town the stranger had guided him to, Nic found the library, and finally believed he had almost found his answer. Inside, he met with multiple librarians, explaining his problem and asking for help, but none of them had an answer nor a direction to guide him in. The best anyone could do was point him towards a temple, to seek help of a divine magical nature. Devastated, Nic poured himself into his fighting, pushing his frustration and anger into a drive to be the best. It worked, for a time, and his notoriety in the arena circles grew, but eventually he couldn't drown out the emptiness, and left for the next town.

It was just a week into his stay at the next town when Nic, walking home late after his debut arena fight, saw what looked like an attempted robbery in an alley beside a bakery; a squat, broad human angrily pushing a teifling man against a wall, hissing angry words in his face. Nic, without thinking, stepped in, grabbing the man from behind and hurling him across the alley into the opposite building. Nic threatened the man, demanding he leave the tiefling along, emphasizing his threat with his bardic magic. The teifling, Jonah, curtly told Nic that he had the situation well in hand, and that he didn't need any help fending of his cranky ex, but if Nic came to the bakery two days hence, around noon, he'd have a proper thank you for him, and went inside. The next day was the last day they spent apart for the next few years.

As their relationship grew, Nic opened up to Jonah about the empty feeling inside him which had disappeared for a while, but like always, had come back. He was scared about what that meant about him, and if it would change how Jonah felt about him, but instead Jonah gave Nic his blessing to continue his search, even if that meant they had to be apart. Nothing would change what they had, and Jonah wasn't going anywhere, so would wait for him for as long as it took, as long as Nic promised to come home, and to write as often as he could.

So every few years, Nic would journey out into the world, often visited by the stranger he met in his dreams, who would give vague hints as to where he might find answers. He was never gone for very long, spending only a few months journeying before returning home. His arena fighting paid for his travels, and his fame within the fighting circles gained him many valuable contacts, though most proved ineffective for his personal search.

His latest dream visit pointed him in the direction of *insert campaign start town here* where he might find more clues to the answer he sought...  

[gay-velma]

Ummmmm all of them

Dan I will drive all the way to the east coast and fight you

1. Rosehip tea: Which book did you love when you were younger? 

I really liked the Dear America: Across the Wide and Lonesome Prairie, maybe because the protagonist was a young missoura girl like I was when I read it,but it was my favorites for a long time2. Oolong tea: Which book series could you read again? 

The Iron Fey series, especially since I need to finish its continuation series.3. Rooibos: What is one of you favourite books?

Currently one of my favorites is Dumplin’  by Julie Murphy4. Strawberry tea: Tell me about your first kiss, if you had one.

It was in a pool with someone I don’t talk to anymore, the next one wasnt much better..5. Apple tea: Tell me about your first break up, if you had one.

N/A6. Earl Grey: Which countries have you visited? 

None7. Chai: Where do you want to travel next? 

Any8. Darjeeling: What languages do you speak?

I speak spanish okay9. Hop tea: Do you have a favourite tea? Which one?

I really like mint tea, but lately ive been pretty into chai and this salted caramel tea I found  10. Herbal tea: Which person would you chose to travel the world with?

I dunno, maybe I havent met them yet11. Nettle tea: Are you jealous on a person? Why? 

I mean not in this moment, but I get jealous in passing moments in regards to people in relationships12. Ice tea: Do you miss somebody? Why? 

I mean yeah, I miss my friends back home since im a 3 hr drive away but I still talk to ‘em13. Yellow tea: What shampoo do you use? 

Something called healthy sexy hair that my mom gave me before I came up here for the year14. Peppermint tea: What is your favourite gif at the moment? 

N/A15. Ceylon tea: Do you have a song you like, but have bad memories with? 

Definetly, most one direction songs I relate to people I no longer talk to so i dont listen to them so often anymore even though there are songs I definetly like16. Hibiscus tea: What is a song you can always hear?

  I dunno i eventually need a break from most  songs if I hear them enough17. Flowering tea: What is a movie you can always watch? 

Practical Magic (salty it is off of netflix now)18. Pu-erh tea: What is a book you can recommend to others?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  One day I’ll compile a book recc list, but i do not have the time nor energy at this time to do it19. Turkish tea: What is your favourite cake? 

Just cake, i’ll eat it all20. Green tea: What was the first movie you saw in a cinema? 

I honestly don’t know, the main one I remember seeing is Meet the Fockers21. Blueberry-Muffin tea: Tell me a memory, which makes you smile. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯22. Panda tea: Do you have pets? Which one? 

2 dogs that are back in sprongfeld with mom and dad. They’re both mutts named Nellie and Nelson and they’re both little shits that I love and miss23. Butter tea: Show / Tell me about one thing i your room you find awesome.

So I dont have a roommate in the dorm this year, so the extra bed is a couch now,   24. Hot chocolate: Do you have (a) stuffed animal(s) sitting in your room? Which one(s)?

Several, There’s Antoni the build-a-bear smores bear, mischief the all black dog, beau my brown and black dog, essa the pastel puppy, scooby an actual scooby doo plush, amber (alley cat) the beanie baby that is missing an eye and an ear and a couple webkinz that are hidden under the clothes on my couch25. 24 flavors: What is your favourite word?

Flabbergasted, it perfectly describes the mood26. Jasmin tea: Can you draw / paint? Wanna show me something? 

I can kinda do both, i dont do them often so the skill ebbs and flows

27. Kombucha: What do you order on a pizza? 

So from most places its just pepperoni, but there’s a place right across the street from my dorm that is any amount of toppings on a pizza for a flat rate, so thats when I get pepperoni, bacon, and pineapple28. Cloud tea: Which movie do you want to watch next? 

I honestly  don’t even remember what the last movie I watched was so I’m unsure of what I even want to see next. Into the Spiderverse maybe?29. Gunpowder tea: If you had the chance: would you go to space?

Maybe, I’m not sure I wanna lean towards yes

I reiterate,I will fight you one day Dan, one  day