#haven't really liked where my head's been at lately it feels like whatever persona is The One Who Blogs is 'taking over' more

[biracy]

Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow

[scarletwix]

here is lil a jasico idea i thought was funny thats been bouncin round my skull, it is yours if u are so inclined

a superhero au wherein jason is besties with nico and has a crush on him... and jason has lightning powers and a vigilante superhero persona. nico is a fanboy about jason's hero alter ego, and somehow jasons support as a hero (fellow heroes, the people in his earpiece back at his hq) fall so that literally everyone else in their friend group know that the alter ego is jason, realise that jason has a crush on nico, and encourage nicos fanboying to tease jason

jason tries to approach nico as his hero self in one of those typical 'the person i like is in danger, i will save them and also chat em up a bit', but plot twist, between nerves about his crush, panic from nico just being in danger and trying not to reveal anything, he just absolutely fumbles the interaction to the point where nico loses all interest in the hero. jason thinks if he cant even manage anything when nico literally totally admires him he basically has no chance. meanwhile, something jason said during his awkward flop moment caused nico for whatever reason to be like 'hmm mayhaps my feelings for my bestie go a little deeper than i thought? i shall have to investigate further'

sorry if thats like, too much, like i said its been BOUNCIN around in there for a whike

ANON PLS COME BACK now this is bouncin in MY head. I haven't stopped thinking about it since you sent it in. It only took so long because there were so many ways to take it. I want to write more for this au, this is so fun. Anyway... hero infrastructure abounds here because I have been thinking abt HENCH again.

Never meet your heroes, Nico reminded himself, staring at the paused video on his computer screen. In the still image, Tonitro looked as put-together and gorgeous as always. His wheat-blond hair was rakishly askew.

Probably in a breeze of his own making, Nico thought sourly. He clicked away from the photo, having gotten everything he needed for his report. Jason would be here any minute, and Nico wanted to clear his mind of the encounter with Tonitro before he got there.

Nico hated to admit it, but he'd really let himself down. He had built up an image in his mind based on Tonitro's public persona, and he had fallen for it, hook, line and sinker. It was the same thing that he was always warning his fellow students against doing with vigilantes, and here he was, having done the same thing with Tonitro. And why? Just because he was a fully licensed hero? Nico shook his head. The licensing procedure needed an overhaul anyway, how he could have forgotten that in the midst of his hero worship was beyond him.

He saved his paper and shut the lid of his laptop with an irritated flick of his fingers. Beside it, his phone buzzed with an incoming message.

Jason: going to be a few minutes late, sorry. Villain traffic on 101.

Nico blinked, surprised. He swiped for his notifications, in case he'd missed something while he'd been thinking about (read: stewing over) Tonitro.

He hadn't. Which meant that Jason was there before even the media managed to be. Nico tapped out a quick message, crossing his fingers that Jason would see it before he had to duck for cover.

Nico: see if you can get me any usable pictures before the hounds get there

He didn't try and remind Jason to be safe. It wasn't his place. Jason knew better than any of them the dangers that heroes could pose, having had his last job be completely decimated by one of Waterspout's fights.

He'd been honestly surprised when Jason hadn't gone to the Heroes Union for help with his unemployment assistance after that disaster, but he'd claimed that the agency he'd been contracted through hadn't had the insurance to cover it. That had been both irresponsible and downright stupid enough for Nico to get distracted and go on a rant about liability. He frowned. Now that he thought about it, he didn't think that they'd actually finished that conversation. His phone buzzed.

[Jason] aww want the best pics of your bf??

Nico grimaced. That meant Tonitro was there. He hadn't gotten around to telling Jason the truth about Tonitro's sparkling personality.

He yanked his laptop back toward him and opened up a new tab to one of the more reputable news sites. It took three refreshes of the page until—there, in big red letters, the words LIVE FEED hovered above a video embedded at the top of the page.

"We are live from interstate 101, where known villain Pontifex–" Nico grimaced. Pontifex was a piece of work, but he let the words fade into the background as he leaned in toward his monitor. There didn't appear to be any damage to the bridge itself, and the chopper was too far from the fight itself to make much out. He could, however, see the rescue crew leading the evacuation efforts. Charmant stood on the cab of a semi truck, presumably where Tonitro had dropped her, her bright outfit a shining beacon for anyone who needed to find their way to her and her ever so charming voice.

As Nico watched, his elevated heart rate calming just a bit at the sight of the evacuation going well, the feed went fuzzy.

A flare of lightning and the deafening roar that followed it crashed to earth, taking Pontifex with it.

The camera turned from Charmant, and the grainy image of Tonitro hovering in the air, still crackling with electricity, focused into sharp clarity as the cameraman recovered.

Despite himself, even Nico had to admit that as the sole point of light in the thunderous sky, Tonitro looked impressive.

He had nearly relaxed, hopeful that the hero would have Pontifex well in hand soon, when the first wave hit the bridge, and the cameraman zoomed in on a blur of blue and orange.

Nico's stomach dropped, and his heart rate picked back up. Cold terror wrapped around him like shadows. He was moving before he even finished processing what he saw.

On paper, Tonitro and Waterspout were the city's most effective team. They had the highest villain capture rate of all other registered hero teams combined.

On paper, they also had the highest dispersion rate for infrastructural damage.

And they were on a bridge.

Nico swore as his fingers fumbled on his Bluetooth earpiece. He must have hit Jason's number twelve times before his fingers finally slid onto the call button by sheer chance.

He had his keys in hand and helmet on before the phone even rang once.

Even if the evacuation went perfectly (it never did), Jason wouldn't have a car by the time Tonitro and Waterspout were done with Pontifex.

Nico just had to hope that he could find his friend in the chaos that was sure to follow.

_

Had to stop it there because I couldn't for the life of me decide if I wanted to actually give Nico superpowers of his own or not. I have plot bunnies for both options, and this idea is just never going to leave me alone now!!!

I didn't even get to the jasico proper bc I can see like eight different directions that I want this to go and just.. ooh it's so fun!! Thank you again nonnie! 💕 feel free to let me know your thoughts and onions and whether or not you'd like to see more of this au!

[mx-lamour]

Get up.

Personal storytime again, because it seems to be interfering with my ability to write other things today:

My partner has been having a rough go of it lately. A lot of factors go into that. They're not important right now. That's all background noise.

Yesterday evening, he spent literal hours sitting on the bathroom floor, just leaning against the side of the tub with his legs stretched out in front of him, in the dark.

I was doing other things. Sometimes he gets this way. There's not a whole lot I feel I can do about it when that happens, so I let him go through it. He knows the terrain. Usually, he wades through it fine enough to finish up his evening routine. This time, not so much.

I checked on him at intervals. Brought him some water, offered to warm up dinner. Gave him a little kiss on the top of his head. Made sure he knew I was around if he needed anything. I'm reactionary with people. I really only know how to treat them in the moment if they tell me what to do. It's a big ask sometimes, I know that, but it's what I have to work with.

I've at least learned not to linger helplessly and wait. I go back to my tasks. I carry on. I check in again when I start to get that sixth-sense tingle which tells me I should.

He's still there, another hour later, sitting in the same place, in the same way, not even looking at his phone anymore. Truly out of it.

Ok, well, time to try something I haven't before. I get terse, actually. I put on my best Mom persona, informed heavily by stubborn cleric energy because I've never really had the urge to be motherly, was never really cut out for that. But those dark powers don't get to take my boy. He's been Chosen.

I tell him to get up.

He doesn't.

I squeeze his hands. I rub his calves. I sit with him a while.

He says nothing.

I encourage him to stand. Just bend your knees. Put your feet under you. Walk ten paces to the bedroom. Get up.

Why? he asks.

I fight it so hard. I sit on the stupid answer for a few seconds, but I don't have a better reason to offer: Because I asked you to.

Because lying in bed will be a lot better for your back than sitting here, I add. And I don't give a shit whether or not you care. I do. Get up. I would pick you up and carry you there myself, but I'm too small.

He doesn't want to progress. He doesn't want to go forward.

You're only allowed to play corpse if you lay next to me.

I know he's going to hate it, but I'm running out of options. I tell him: If you don't move, I'm going to have to start calling people. I don't even know who.

And I'm right. He fucking hates that idea. I'm taking away his agency now, by threat of outside interference, but the truth is that he's already lost it. The lack is pinning him down.

I'm literally just trying to get him off the floor.

He finally sighs. The engine has started. He sighs again. It's exhausted, it's frustrated, but he's breathing. That indignant huff is painful, but it's great. That's it. Just a little fuel. The fire's burning.

I say it: The frustrated sighs are a fantastic start, but I'm gonna need to see some movement. For emphasis, I nudge his leg a bit with my foot.

He finally stands up. A fucking champion. We're both irked, but he's walking. He mutters something about always having to do what other people want. I have a moment where I think: This isn't real. Whatever is going on in his head right now. Believe me when I say it's well-founded, but it isn't real. He's removed from the world that I'm experiencing, to an extent that I've never really seen up close before. It's fascinating. I've escaped the mists, but now I see them, and it's so bizarre.

We both retreat to bed. There's no way in hell I'm writing fanfic after that, too busy reeling, so I start to set myself for sleep.

With his back to me, he mutters: When are you going to get a job?

It stabs, like it's meant to. One little vindictive barb in recompense.

I am trying, I tell him. It's literally not up to me. I finally had an interview recently; they never called me back.

And that reminds me. I get on my phone. I start taking notes. Who are my contacts in the literary arts world? There are only a few. Just as many have retired and I'd have to hunt them down. Why did I think I couldn't hang on to people? I have no network. I must weave it from the tattered remnants of my past, together with new warps. But how?

The jab has done its work. I'm half tempted to dive into the bathroom myself and lean over the toilet, but I've never been a puker. I just get to sit with it. That's fine. We're all in this bed together.

Eventually, the man moves again. He all but throws the tv remote at me. I turn on his comfort show, to drown out the buzzing in his head.

Life seeps into him again, reanimating the undead thing that is my partner of ten years. We're barely toddlers.

He gets up again. Clothes himself. Finds some food and eats it. Chuckles at a joke in one of his favorite episodes. It's Futurama: the one where Fry writes a holophone opera for Leela.

Afterward, he climbs across the bed and lays his head down on my elbow.

Are you done resenting me for now? I ask.

Yeah, he says sheepishly. He's come back to me again.

We wrapped ourselves together in his blanket, our little cat purring in between our chests, our dog snoring on the floor beside us. We find some room for quiet laughter, and we hold each other there.

[pinkpurpleblue-writes]

You’ve Got Mail (1998)

Summery:

You’ve Got Mail stars Nora Ephron and Tom Hanks as Kathleen Kelly, the owner of an independent children’s bookstore passed down from her mother, and Joe Fox, a member of the Fox family who runs “Fox Books,” a Barnes and Nobles-esque big box retailer. As Fox opens up a new store in New York's Upper West Side, it threatens Kathleen's independent "Shop Around The Corner." While they verbally spar and go head to head, their online personas (ShopGirl and NY152, respectively) are falling in love online through, of all thing, email and AOL instant messenger. About halfway through the movie, ShopGirl and NY152 agree to meet, Joe realizes her real identity, and, instead of revealing what he knows, starts to slowly build a cordial, then friendly, then romantic relationship with Kathleen in real life too. The "Shop Around The Corner" eventually closes down and, at the movie's climax, NY152 and ShopGirl agree to meet again. Joe expresses his feelings towards Kathleen in person on the day of the meeting and, at the meeting spot, they kiss, happy that the people they fell in love with online were the people they fell in love with offline too.

Review:

You've Got Mail is a delight nearly all the way through. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan have amazing chemistry together, and both actors are extremely emotive throughout, with expressions that show the full range of feelings that each character is going through. The late nineties setting is almost perfect for those seeking escapism nowadays, with the sweet spot in between the end of the Cold War and the beginning of the "Forever Wars." The film is easily broken up into three Acts with a strong structure, divided among the seasons of Autumn, Winter, and Spring.

In between scenes of conversation and action, we see Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks emailing each other, seeing their screens and hearing the content of the emails as voice-over while the recipient reads it over. It's done exceptionally well, especially when contrasted with the problems some modern films have with showing text messaging onscreen. It's much more reminiscent of something like Victorian Era letter exchanges than anything cold and electronic.

The soundtrack is woven into the movie skillfully, with "Signed Sealed Delivered I'm Yours" and "Over the Rainbow" being particularly notable. The costume design is lovely, transporting you into the time period with Meg Ryan's clothes especially. The film touches on themes of relationships, family, and identity, but doesn't delve as far deep as it could have. It also abbreviates the "enemies to friends" part of Hanks and Ryan's relationship too much in my opinion, but the movie was already a decent length.

Politics:

The time period does come with some drawbacks, as the setting and plot allow for some peak 90s neoliberalism that is reminiscent of the first two seasons of "The West Wing," with the core politics of the film muddled at best, seemingly attempting to sidestep it at all costs. The few non-white characters (most prominently Dave Chapelle playing Joe's best friend) have little personality and less screen time, and the only non-straight characters turn out to be the fiancé of Joe Fox's father and the nanny she runs off with, both of whom get about a scene of screen time and a mention of their sexuality near the end. Fox Books brings to mind the Goliath that is Amazon, which itself helped put Borders out of business and has done the same to an immeasurable amount of independent book stores.

The relationship the film has towards capitalism itself is murky, with the most left leaning character (Meg Ryan's boyfriend-turned-ex, Frank) portrayed as a wannabe intellectual, but having Kathleen shoot barbs at Joe about status which he seems to be aware about. All in all, it reads as an attempt to not offend either side too much while still appealing to apathetic nineties twenty- and thirty-somethings who felt disenchanted with all of politics.

The film itself also has some misogynistic points, with Joe Fox's girlfriend, Patricia, being a particularly good example of a double-standard. Frank and Kathleen break up amicably after becoming more distant and are shown to be friendly after. While Frank and Patricia are show in similar lights through much of the movie, the second act has Patricia shown as emotionless and ruthless, seemingly due to her being more career-focused and driven. Some parts also haven't aged well, with a bit too much focus on appearance by the male characters and a scene where Tom Hanks refers to a woman as a "bitch."

Conclusion:

Overall, the letter is a love letter to the mid-to-late nineties, with all the good and bad that brings. I enjoyed it immensely and I still do, but it might vary depending on the level of escapism you're willing to withstand and how much you're willing to excuse due to when it was made.

Selected Quotes:

“Is it infidelity if you're involved with someone on email?”

“Keep those West Side liberal nut pseudo-intellectual bleeding heart-” “Dad...”

“Do I do it because I like it? Or because I haven't been brave?”

“Matt is my father's son, Annabel is my grandfather's daughter. We are… an American family."

“Oh the joys of rent control…”

“Do you ever feel you become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret hateful parts -- your arrogance, your spite, your condescension -- has sprung open”

"What is it with Men and the Godfather?"

"I said we were a goddamn Piazza"

"Pride and Prejudice? I bet you read that book every year, I bet you just love that.. Mr. Darcy and your sentimental heart just beats widely at the though that he and um… well, uh, whatever her name is, are truly honestly going to end up together?"

"Oh, you poor sad multimillionaire, I feel so sorry for you" and "You are nothing but a suit"

"Remember when you though Frank might be the Unabomber?"

"I am in… Vancouver"

"He ran Spain"

"Why don't we bomb Fox books"

"…and in a week it will be something really depressing, like a Baby Gap"

“...the astrologer, whose moon turned to be in someone else's house, as I recall."

"I am so sick of that. All that means is it wasn't personal to you. […] What is so wrong with being personal anyway?"

[justcallmemav]

7/20/18

--------------------------

Pt.20

--------------------------

“You didn't get along with her, so this shouldn't be affecting you this bad.”

(She saw how you treated me and wanted to adopt me.)

“You trust people too easy, girl.”

( I had known him for 13 years. I built that trust. )

“You put yourself in this situation.”

( I didn't ask for it.)

“I never liked him anyways, trash grew legs and took itself out.”

(I loved him for five years.)

▪▪   ·I love you, mom. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.

---

▪▪   ·I'm at work I'll message you when I'm off. Ly2.

---

▪▪   ·I could use a call right now.

---

▪▪  ·Can't talk right now, will call tomorrow. You'll be fine for a day.

--------------------------------------------------

▪  You're my best friend. I love you. I can't take it anymore.

---------

▪   I think this is it.

--------------------------------------------------

▪▪▪  Thank you for always loving me unconditionally. You're the greatest sister anyone could ask for. I love you. You're better off without me.

--------------------------------------------------

      You came to visit me two days after i was taken into the hospital on july 20th at 9 o'clock at night.

      I was drinking an excessive amount within the matter of two hours.

     Within the last few minutes of the second hour, I saw the walls of the world around me collapsing.

This is it.

I have nothing left.

     My mind wouldn't rest. I took a xanax but it didn't help ease my mind.

     It sure couldn't mend my broken heart.

                  This was the last time.

It didn't work before.

           It has to work now.

                          So I begged, and I cried.

I prayed to a God I wasn't even sure existed.

Please take me now.

        I want to come home.

                      I think I'm ready now.

JUST TAKE ME NOW. I AM READY. PLEASE FUCKING TAKE ME. I'M READY.

      I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made the choice to give into my thoughts and my depression. I made the choice to finalize this shit I consider living. This existence. This truly was it. This is the end.

      I let my hands trace their way to my fate. To my drawer. Opening the pill bottle. Where the palm of my hand met my lips to fill my mouth with what I knew would make everything better soon. Next thing I know, my body was lured to the bottle of vodka as it stands at the end of the bed. I wrap my fingers tight around the neck of the bottle, lips to the glass. Down the hatch and into the rabbit hole I go. I feel my body spiral. Down...down...down...down…

                      Boom

                         So bitter.

                        Yet so good.

Was this the only way i could be happy again?

I will reach the numbness I yearn to undergo.

I've heard the rumors.

Does it seem as free as they say?

            Then along came the thump.

                       ALAS~

Nothingness.

Darkness. No voices, no pain, no criticism. Just the echoes of my heart beat.

Thump.. Thump….. Thump….

After what felt like days… the darkness fades steadily. The numbness dissolves like ice through my fingertips.

               Off in the distance I hear something. A cry? A car? A siren? A siren.

I struggle to come to consciousness.

                 I find it nearly impossible.

Then out of the blue, I hear a voice.

                A voice so faint and familiar.

After some time, I can open my eyes half way as I slip back into consciousness.

My vision is hazy. I managed to come to when I hear her voice.

“Cayley, there's some people here who need you to get up and come outside. They need to check on you.”

I see the pigments from the lights spinning on their vehicles, bouncing off of the brick walls on the outside of my home, but it's all blurry.

       I struggled to stand as I stepped through my threshold to go outside.

Who needs to talk to me? About what? Why?

I look up and see two policemen and a paramedic. I begin to hyperventilate.

“Is my dad okay?”

Ma'am, we received a call stating that you may be a harm to yourself, so I ask that you don't resist help. Are you able to follow us to the back of the ambulance, ma'am?

·I haven't done anything and I'm not a harm to myself.

·For your own safety we need to make sure that's true. We can't take risks, miss.

·I'm sorry, please ma'am let go of my arm, I don't need help. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME I AM FINE.

I hear my father talking to the police officer but couldn't make out what they were saying over dad's coworker crying and all of the sounds around me. I panicked. I heard my dad speaking once more, only this time it was directed at me.

He asked me three things.

“CAYLEY BABY WHAT’D YOU DO?”

“WHAT DID YOU TAKE?”

My hearing began to fade slowly, as I focused on the ringing gradually developing in my head. I could ever so slightly hear the walkie talkies and daddys office keys jingling in his pocket. I heard Sues charm bracelet that she loves so much.

I felt my heartbeat through my chest, as if it was trying to escape. I feel my heart rate descend,  I look up to see what was around me. Everyone was there.

I saw my father crying and shaking.

 I saw his girlfriend crying.

    I saw my father's coworker crying.

          I was embarrassed.

Yet, too weak to care.

I muttered to the medic under my breath;

“I'm ready to go. Ma'am please take me.”

I collapse, but the woman was quick to catch me. She definitely had motherly instincts. Not even 2 seconds after i collapsed, I lose consciousness.

          I woke up in the back of an ambulance. I'm being hovered by two men with papers on clipboards and the medic who stopped me from busting my ass on concrete. They're bombarding me with questions and demands.

“Your oxygen levels are low, ma'am. I need you to inhale and exhale on ten. The oxygen being distributed through the tubes in your nostrils is a bit cold. Just a fair warning. Are you physically capable of removing your tunnels, lip piercing, your engagement ring, and whatever else pierced or on your person that could be a threat to yourself of me?”

“Do I have to take off my ring?”

“Yes ma'am, unfortunately it's code. We'll put it in this bag. It will stay unbothered. Please remove your piercings.”

Shortly after I began hyperventilating because I couldn't stop crying, and boom.

All consciousness was lost.

How could I harm anyone with a ring?

She should have been patient, anyways.

~Don't rush me.~

       You asked me why I did it. It took you two days, it took my father less than 60 seconds to get to me when he saw the ambulance at the door.

       You took 48 hours to muster the pride to visit me, and when you did, you showed no emotion at all. You hugged me that day and I felt no love.

        I was barely aware of what was going on, yet I somehow sensed tension coming from your end. As if you were forcing yourself to care when deep down you knew you didn't.

I felt like I was being smothered by a well maintained, ‘JLo Glo’ scented greeting mat.

          Even when I was much younger and you would stay in and drink, you'd hug me and I felt this giant strange force field of motherly love surrounding me, if that makes any sense. There was a step by step process of your home drunk persona and it went the same way every time.. but I'll get to that in a moment.

    Anyways, I'm still thankful you showed. Even two days late. You had me slightly convinced that you actually cared.

ALMOST. I was informed of the insensitive remarks you made to my father about me.  You really had the audacity to turn around and say I was wanting everyone to be worried about CAYLEY because ‘everything has to be about CAYLEY and CAYLEY was just looking for attention'.

         Like I didn't come home from school and take two steps through the threshold only to see you crying because you got dumped. You threatened to end your life. (Because you loved this man so much. The man you are with now. 9 years later. The man you use for money. Whom you cheat on)  Me and your biological daughter took you and admitted you.

         I felt like i betrayed you, but i needed you to be alive. For...whatever reason. I guess cos y'know.. a 12 year old needs a parent. You came home and the meds they gave you calmed you down, but you liked that too much. You quickly became dependent, actually you still are. You contradict yourself too often.

         Don't you remember what I have been put through..? By you, mostly. You were and still are so hypocritical that it makes me chuckle. Sigh- anyways, I couldn't fully comprehend anything you said during our visit. I couldn't gather the energy to move nor look at you, let alone reply to your bullshit motherhood quotes.

        You left when the time was up, two weeks go by in a blur still ever so slowly, and they transfer me. People were able to reach out to me. A handful of people I love and cherish which includes my sister, my father, his girlfriend... the woman who has been more of a mother to me than you ever were.

       It didn't take much time after me being in that God forsaken inpatient facility for me to be pulled aside by a nurse in a confidential manner. My brain threw around every possible reason as to why she was doing this.

--------------------------------------------------

Am I going home?

Are they moving me again?

What did I do wrong?

--------------------------------------------------

  ~ Nothing, stop with the assumptions~

    She informed me that I had received multiple calls from a woman saying she is my mother but she couldn't pass it through because another woman, who ALSO claimed to be my parent/caregiver, had requested that this number (she was giving me )go on a restricted no contact list. She handed me a sheet of paper with with a number on it. Buttttt, it wasn't yours. So I had no idea what was going on. Who's my caregiver? Did my sister put you on the no call list? Nope. It wasn't your number and you never do wrong, so you denied having anything to do with that whole thing. I decided to call the number while the addiction groups were in the other room. I had no reason to be there so I had time to meditate, draw, socialize, or find out who was on the other end of that phone line.

It's obvious what I chose.

It took a few tries until someone finally answered. When they did I felt like an idiot. How could I not know.

You hated her because of how hard she tried to see me and my siblings. You had so many hateful things to say about her, yet no validation. It made you angrier when you told us about her then made her out to be a bad guy and we still got in touch with her. You hated that, didn't you. You hated it because the truth was going to come out if we found her.

Lady, I met my real mother when i was 11 years old. That was the day my father bought my favorite hat… a black fedora with a blue stripe inside of a purple stripe in the middle (which I still own). I was wearing this black shirt with a red graphic design on the front and back that was WAY too baggy on me and a pair of cuffed blue jeans, I do believe. It's been eight years, I have great memory but I'm not special like that.

If it weren't for daddy, my sister, and my brother... I would've never known who she was. Well, when I finally got ahold of my biological mother on the phone the day after I received the number by the nurse… she was genuinely upset. She said one thing that will stick to my brain for the rest of my life.

“I lost you once I can't lose you again”

You won't have to.

[myheartisbro-ken]

Hi! 💙🌹 Hope you're​ doing well. How's the power reading going? I hope it's not too boring. I once had to read my professor's book because he made it required for the course (kind of self promotion-y) 😐. Anyway, no I've not read the Cursed Child, but yikes...It sounds bad based on your description. I couldn't even get through the first chapter of My Immortal. 💀That's the goth, er uniquely written, fanfic, where the girl loves Draco, right? I haven't read much HP fanfiction though. (Pt 1).

I actually don’t think I’ve read any. No, I read one short one I think, but it was for a crack ship, so I’ll not mention it. ❤🗡 Anyway, yeah. I don’t really like the extra things JK is doing. I feel like the additional school is kind of pointless…I would prefer she just deepen the history of Hogwarts etc. or better yet, maybe just stop adding stuff? I like Harry Potter, so I don’t want it to become distorted. 😅 Probably an unpopular opinion. Idk. I had class today, it was boring. (Pt 2) I don’t know how your semester is going, but at this point (bc we’re almost finished) there’s a lot of wasted time. I hate wasting time. My professor only spent 25 minutes on salient content and wasted the rest. Also, he let people present late–I’ll stop.😥 I hope you and your puppy had a nice day. It’s almost time for the SuperCorp centric episode! I’m excited, especially after that sneak peek/extended trailer. Lena has to know imo. She’s made wayyyy to many Knowing comments/looks. 💙 (Part 3 Hmm, I would be a bit disappointed at this point if she didn’t know. She’s way to bright to not know. Do you think she knows? If Maggie figured it out, so should Lena. 😐 Hope you have a fabulous day and night. 💙🌹😊😄 (End) [Hmm, FMK (if you’re okay with fuck, mary, kill or french? Idk. Whatever you’re comfortable with: Kate Foster *cough* too hot, hot damn, Red K! Kara, she’d have a bit of a soft spot for you, Alex Danvers, before the DEO, so she’s more of a party girl/irresponsible). 😄

Hey!! 🌹  I haven’t started reading (shame) but I did write the article I had to for Monday and I’m pretty proud of that because I was really thinking I couldn’t do it, but then I sat down and wrote it in like two hours. My semester ends in june/july so we’re in the middle of it and starting to prepare for the big group project, and I only have two classes, so it’s kind of random for me, not really rushed or anything and I only have the cool classes without much to do, so I feel like I’m not really a student, it’s kind of like when you take like a language class after school. I hate wasting time but more in the sense of I don’t like when there isn’t class because a bunch of people decided to have a party or when the end of the class becomes a filler wasted hour because everyone decided to leave to go drinking. Since my classes are at night, this happens a lot, especially on Friday. Next month I’ll have morning classes on Saturdays, those are the worst.

My immortal is the greatest thing ever written because it’s the worst thing every written. Does that make sense? It’s ridiculous and hilarious and really really bad. So it’s amazing. It’s that thing that I think everyone should read to know what’s the worst thing someone could possibly write, it’s good to have that comparison. and when you write it’s good to have that in your head like ‘this is terrible, but at least it’s not My Immortal’ and then you keep that in mind to not do that, like you work as much as you can to not make another version of it. Yet it’s kind of brilliant because it’s so bad there are articles to this day, actual journalists, people who get paid to write and analyze stuff, debating if it was made on purpose to be the worst thing ever written and if the author is a character herself, or if it’s for real and the girl is just that brain damaged as to have a love triangle between her self-insert and Draco and Harry “Vampire” Potter and at the same time her self-insert with Draco and Satan/Voldemort who is not the same person as Tom Riddle. So it’s kind of epic.

I haven’t read many HP fics, although I did start my fic reading life with them, but I haven’t read anything since my first year of highschool so like 6 years I guess. I do like a good HP AU though. I also don’t like JK making all that shit. I would be happy with just what she was doing with Pottermore, developing the Hogwarts universe and shit. Like eventually release a book of the history of wizards and all, like George RR Martin with ‘A World of Ice and Fire’ she could have written some of the books that are mentioned as the Hogwarts reading throughout the series, or short stories of the Marauders adventures and even their kids adventures like Rick Riordan did with the Demigod Diaries. That would have been better than whatever it is she’s doing.

Lena has to know. Someone finds out, so I really think it’s Lena, there’s only Snapper and Lena to find out now, and Snapper knowing brings nothing to the story, and Lena has scenes at the DEO and with Kara and her trusty sidekick so it’s kind of logical if she does know, not to mention she’s brilliant and close with Kara and Supergirl, which is how Lois Lane finds out in all versions, she’s close with both personas and she just puts things together. Kara is Lena’s best friend (and only friend in the city since no one wants to get close to a Luthor, especially now) and Supergirl is always around saving her and giving her speeches and all shit, so it’d make sense if she knew. she is a genius after all, and she had that alien detector (I think that could come into play) and Kara is a terrible liar. Maggie knowing still rubs me the wrong way, to be honest, to me it reads a bit like an offense to the 79 years of Superman and Super mythology. The glasses aren’t dumb and the glasses are also not the reason why people don’t know, the show was trying to be a bit self-aware and funny and have Maggie be smart and a good detective, but to me the way they did it was wrong and bashing on what Jerry Shuster and Joe Siegel created. They could have made her joke about the glasses with Kara, tease her about it, but just tell Alex that she found out because of Alex’s relationship with Kara/Supergirl.

Lena is someone who could help a lot, the DEO and Kara, by knowing it. I think it could be good for their friendship if she knew, I feel like they both need that friendship, outside of their line of work (and family crap) but not too far from it. And her quips are too good for her not to know, let’s be real here. 

What are your thoughts on this?

She looks SOOOO GOOD in the trailer, I’m… ugh, I love her, she’s so pretty *cries*  also she’s wearing so much blue (in this trailer they are going to the conference and she’s wearing a blue jacket and in the photos of the conference she’s wearing a blue dress) that I’m a little offended no one made a parallel/comparison with her looks and Cat telling Kara to dive. just saying.

oh god, that fmk is hard because none of them are really my type, like personality wise, I’m not really into that whole wild aggression not caring for anything and anyone above feelings kind of thing they all have. I love Kate, like a plus congrats to her parents for making all that but I wouldn’t date her, so definitely fuck. Although we don’t really know much about Kate, so I could be wrong on that, but she’s too… intense in most of the ep so. Party girl! Alex has room for a redemption and getting better so maybe marry, unless I can take away the redK from Kara then it’s definitely Kara to marry. I’m not gonna say I’d kill Alex or Kara, so…. okay. FMK Morgana, Lena and Kate (take that)

Devil puppy and I hope you have a fantastic day or night 💙 (I don’t really have time to get emojis rn, sorry. heart and flower are copied from you *wink*)

[dorothydelgadillo]

"Happy to Help": My Process for Creating Memorable & Engaging Content Every Single Time

One of my core beliefs is that being helpful can feel like a superpower. 

What I mean by that is, as brands and thought leaders, if you go out of your way every single time to be as helpful as humanly possible, you can do anything. You can tell stories that genuinely move people. You can grow your business through content. You can become unforgettable.

What's funny, however, is that we've trained ourselves out of being helpful. 

True helpfulness is a liability, right?

If we're "too helpful," we give away our "secret sauce." Helpfulness also takes too much time. So, we sign-off emails with sentiments like, "Let me know if you have any questions, I'm happy to help!" 

But, too often, our expression of being "happy to help" is completely empty.

We don't mean it, and we mentally cross our fingers that there will be no questions, follow-ups, or requests for clarification, so we can move onto whatever "important thing" is on our to do list.

I know this because, as much as I hate to admit it, I catch myself on occasion hoping I'm not called upon to be helpful, when I put myself out there to be helpful. 

That's because even though science tells us there are quantifiable benefits to being helpful, we believe that to be helpful isn't profitable. 

But Is Helpfulness Really Not Profitable?

In my mind, the answer is no. Helpfulness definitely is profitable. And I realized that when I started thinking about that old adage of:

"Our buyers only stop listening when we start selling."

But then I realized that's only sort of true. 

If we all agree that modern digital buyers are turning to brands and thought leaders to answer their questions and solve their problems, then really that statement should be:

Buyers stop listening to us when we stop helping them and we start helping ourselves.

Which means when we're not being helpful, we're not only letting business opportunities walk out the door, we're holding that door open for those opportunities with enthusiasm.

While that idea has traditionally been applied to more traditional "sales conversations" of the past, I see some of today's brands and thought leaders flipping that switch from helpful to not helpful online. 

To show you what I mean, here are the three most common "helpfulness" infractions I see:

Websites that make it hard to actually consume the content you want -- with pop-ups, slideshows that reload a new page every single time, deceptive ads that look like buttons, and so on. (Oh, and to the person who invented loud video ads that only play 25 minutes after you've abandoned a page in a tab in your browser, you're a monster.) 

Speakers who pull a bait-and-switch in their talks. You're there to learn but, as it turns out, they were there to help themselves out by selling to you instead of delivering on the promise of their talk write-up.

Content (written or visual) that makes the promise, "I'm going to help you with your problem," and then fails to deliver. Either due to thinly veiled sales pitches being woven in, an obvious "phoning it in approach" by the author, or just a complete lack of alignment between what a content author wants to say about a topic and what their audience actually needs. 

I am willing to bet many, many dollars that virtually all of you have been on the receiving end of each of these scenarios and thus are keenly aware of how absolutely infuriating it is to seek help from someone -- online, in person, etc. -- and they turn out to be liars who just want to seem like they're being helpful, when really, they just want to help themselves. 

While I could spend a lot of time trying to unpack each of these three sins, I'm going to focus exclusively on the last one -- content -- for the purposes of today's discussion. 

Where My "Happy to Help" Process Came From

What's funny about the process I'm about to share is that I've been using it for years -- but I didn't realize it was actually a process.

It wasn't until about a year ago, when Carina Duffy (our resident HubSpot genius) came to me with a question from our clients, that I began to realize what I was doing.

After telling her that the best content is the kind that's the most helpful, Carina asked me, "OK, so what does good content that's actually helpful look like? I have a client who wants specific tactics and direction."

To be honest, I've heard some form of this question a lot over the years:

"How much background do I need to include?"

"I don't know how to address this topic, what should I do?"

"Is this too long?"

"Is this too short?"

"Am I even writing about this correctly?"

"Is this any good?"

"I have a story I want to tell, but will anyone even care about it?"

"Does my audience even care about this?"

When Carina asked me that question, however, it clicked in my head that, as marketers and wannabe thought leaders, we (usually) have a good idea of what we should be talking about, because we know what questions, problems, and issues our target audience is trying to address. 

But we are tremendously insecure about how to address those questions, problems, and issues in our content.

We either don't know what to say, have too much to say, or don't want to give away the "secret sauce."

Or, more to the point, we either don't have a clear picture on how to be helpful or we don't want to be helpful.

Initially, I responded with some surface-level tips, which I then shared with all of you late last year -- show examples, emphasize the "why," etc. 

Still, her question nagged at me, because my answer felt weak. 

My response was a set of tactics -- not a broad principle that could guide people with their content or process-based framework someone could use over and over again for everything they ever create. 

So, after months of experimentation and reflection, I have finally reverse engineered the mental process I use to ensure every single piece of content I create communicates my genuine desire to be helpful.

Because, in retrospect, I now see that when I fully embrace being helpful in my content -- and when I coach others to do the same -- the results have spoken for themselves. (But I'll get to the results later.) 

My "Happy to Help" Content Grid

OK, no more fluffy exposition -- here is what the framework (the grid that is the physical documentation of my process) looks like:

You can access it here -- you don't need to give us your email to get it, because it's completely ungated! 

Now, I bet a few of you are thinking, "Are you serious? After all that exposition, this is all you have to show me?"

I know, it looks very simple on its surface, but its simplicity is deceptive -- so, trust me when I say there is more to it than initially meets the eye.

Also, not only do I use this process, I've trained others at IMPACT to use this process and tell me they love it, because it helps them quickly orient themselves -- either mentally or in writing, depending on their preference -- before they outline something or start a first draft. 

So, let's talk about how you use it. 

What You Need to Know First

Before you can start using it, there are two things about this grid you need to understand.

First, being helpful isn't a single act that occurs in a vacuum.

Instead, true helpfulness lives at the intersection of having a true situational understanding of what someone is concerned about and why (their problem), and knowing exactly what you bring to the table that makes you qualified to help them and what, specifically, you need to give someone to make them feel as if you've solved their problem (your value). 

Or, more simply:

Their Problem x Your Value = How You Help

Second, you should think of this tool like a COMPASS -- as I said before, it is not an outlining tool, although it will give you an idea of how you'll organize your thoughts ahead of an outline or a draft.

Instead, if you follow the directions below, you create a full roadmap for any piece of content you need to create in 20 minutes or less -- in fact, if you get really good at it, you can run yourself through the process in your head in about five minutes. 

OK, Here's How You Use It

So, the simple answer is you fill out each of those quadrants for anything you want to write about. There's no real mystery there. 

However, you have to answer those four questions -- what, who, why, and how -- under those two columns -- their problem and your value -- in a very specific way. 

Also, the order in which you answer those questions will depend on your starting point. 

But first, we're going to look at each question individually and talk about what questions you're really answering for each. 

How to Answer "What?"

The question here that you're answering is, "What are you talking about?"

Of the four, this is the question that will usually have the shortest answer, as it should be a completely one-dimensional descriptor of what you're talking about, completely free of editorializing or context. 

To illustrate, here are the "whats" for actual articles and content we've published:

hubspot problems

being nice at work

content style guide process

Vidyard vs YouTube

If you're on the receiving end of assignments from a predetermined content strategy, you may go into this process with this question having already been answered for you.

The important thing here is to keep your answer stripped and simple. 

How to Answer "Who?"

My favorite part about this question  is that you don't need buyer personas to answer it. In fact, I would advise against answering this question with a buyer persona, because you won't get the depth you need to use the grid successfully.

I say this because, fundamentally, a buyer persona is just a documented version of what you already know.

But more than that, they're generally broad in their descriptions of challenges and goals. So, when you use them, you feel like you've checked the box of "understanding" who your audience is for a particular piece of content, but you haven't really. 

Anyway, with that diatribe out of the way, when you answer "Who?" you actually need to ask yourself the following questions:

Who is the person who is interested in this topic? What do they do? What level of responsibility do they have? 

Why do they care about this topic? Is it a topic that's causing them pain, fear, or friction? Or is it a goal they want to accomplish? If it's a goal, why do they have that goal? Is it mandated or their own?

OK, now that you know who they are and have a basic understanding of their motives and intentions, what are they looking for from you -- in their words?

Your answer to "Who?" will really be three answers that answer the three sets of questions above. 

How You Answer "Why?"

Generally speaking, you're just answering "why" you're qualified to talk about that specific topic ("what") to your defined audience ("who"), so you'll want to fill in this quadrant with:

Your background or particular area of expertise. 

A specific event or story that qualifies you. 

For example, IMPACT VP of Services Brie Rangel used the "Happy to Help" grid when plotting out her article on The #1 Indicator of a Successful Hire, and she filled out her "why" as follows:

She's got tons of experience in doing the job she now hires for. 

Also, in her role as IMPACT's VP of Services, she's conducted hundreds of interviews.

As a result, she's got tons of success stories, but also horror stories about hires they thought would work out but didn't.

In fact, she's only able to talk about this "what" -- how to identify the great employees -- because those bad experiences informed how she (along with others at IMPACT) uncovered that "secret ingredient" all of our great hires possess and adapted our processes to identify those candidates who have it... and those who don't.

Your way shouldn't be some cookie cutter resume or your job title. It should be thoughtfully tailored to the "what" and "who" of your content. 

Finally, How You Answer "How?"

Even though I'm about to share with you the two different orders in which you fill this grid out, "how" always comes last. 

By the time you answer this question, you know:

What you're talking about. 

Who from your audience cares about what you're talking about, why they care about it, and what they want. 

Why you're uniquely qualified to help that specific person with the particular goals/fears/problems/questions they have about that topic.

So, when you are answering "How?" what you're really answering is:

"Using what I know about why I am qualified to address this topic, how, specifically, do I need to help this person with their topic, so they feel like they got what they came for?"

Sometimes, this answer is very simple, like, "I will teach them how to do X thing, with examples and in-depth overview of each step."

Other times, however, you may need to push a little deeper. 

To show you what I mean, let's go back to the article I shared above from Brie. Her "how" answer was:

I will explain my background and be radically honest about the fact that we only learned what that #1 indicator of a successful hire is by making mistakes. 

I will share exactly what those mistakes were and what we learned from them. 

I will share how we identified that #1 indicator. 

I will share how we updated our hiring processes to proactively identify that indicator.

I will then provide guidance on how other companies can screen for this indicator in their own hiring processes in a way that is flexible to their individual needs. 

And for my content style guide how-to playbook... I fell down a rabbit hole. Because the more I dug into what I needed to cover, I realized how much I need to cover in order to thoroughly answer the question of how to build a content style guide. 

So, here is how my thought process played out as I was answering my "how":

I will explain what content style is and why it matters to brands.

Which means I should also explain what it looks like when you don't have style.

I will explain what a content style guide is.

Next, I will talk about the three core components of a style guide -- voice, tone, and style.

I will also explain what a content style guide isn't, because it's often confused with a brand's messaging strategy.

Then I need to show an example of a style guide for context.

But since there is no "one right way" to do a style guide, I need to show multiple examples and explain why they each work. 

Then I'll need to talk about how to create one. Which means I need to walk them through every step of the content style guide workshop I created. 

Oh no, which means I need to give them the presentation deck... and all the worksheets for each of the exercises. Sigh, and then instructions on how to use them.

Also, since I know from experience how... "fiesty" participants can get about the rules of the workshop, I need to tell them all of the objections they'll potentially get from participants and how to handle each of those objections. 

Hm, and since some of these folks probably haven't facilitated a workshop before, I'll need to give the general facilitation tips. 

(At this point, I paused for panicked dry-heaving, before I continued.) 

OK, now I need to teach them how to synthesize everything they got from the workshop, so they can develop their voice and tone.

Then I need to teach them about the different editorial style guides that exist that will inform the "style" paint that should be applied to their voice and tone -- basically, the rules for grammar, spelling, punctuation, formatting, and so on. 

Sigh, but I can't just end it here. I need to explain how to roll it out.

And then how to enforce the rules of the style guide. 

Finally, the last question they probably have is how often they should update their style guide, if at all.

Given how "definitive" that guide was supposed to be, the "how" portion of this exercise took on a life of its own. 

So, this is an extreme example, but I share it to demonstrate a point. 

"How" you will help someone through your content has to be defined the needs and wants of your audience -- how they define success and being helpful. 

A lot of times, it'll be pretty straightforward.

But, if my experience shows you anything, it can sometimes feel like you pulled on a thread and started unraveling a sweater.

I'll admit, after going through that process, I felt so drained. Because, in order to be helpful, I had to give away what some might consider my "secret sauce" and then some. 

My gut said it was the right thing to do -- that's how I was going to actually be helpful. 

Thankfully, shortly after I published that magnum opus on creating a content style guide, someone in IMPACT Elite shared this post with our 4,500+ members: 

Since then, I've received emails from others expressing similar thoughts, and I can't tell you how good that feels. To know you've genuinely made someone's life easier or empowered them to do their job better. 

I've since institutionalized this as THE process I use with all of our subject matter experts who create our massive guides and playbooks and, as a result, that strategy generated $195,448 in revenue in less than six months. 

The 2 Different Ways to Use the Grid

Finally, the order in which you answer those four questions will be determined by your starting point:

You have a chosen topic ("what") already. 

You have a story you want to tell about an experience ("why") that teaches a personal lesson.

You have neither. 

If you have your "what" or you have neither a "what" or a "why," here's the order you use:

WHAT

WHO

WHY

HOW

If you have a story to put in your "why," here's the order you'll use:

WHY

WHAT

WHO

WHY (again, for refinement)

HOW

Often, people who are in thought leadership type roles will follow the secondary track, because they have stories they need to dig into to determine its contextual relevance. 

This is the track Brie used for her super popular Being Nice at Work (& as a Leader) Doesn't Hold You Back article. She had a story -- where she was called nice -- and it took some digging to figure out exactly what she was talking about, who she was telling this story to and what they needed from her (in their words), and so on. 

How to Make the "Happy to Help" Content Grid Work for You

See? I told you there was more to that little grid than meets the eye. The best part is you can use this mental (or written) compass exercise for anything -- a blog article, a content pillar, a webinar, a talk you're giving, etc. 

Of course, now you might be thinking:

"I do not have the energy to go through this process every single time!"

Yes, you do. 

Think about how much easier writing that outline or first draft of your blog article, talk, or presentation will be if you already have this roadmap created for what you're covering?

Moreover, going through this process will it get easier (and faster) with time, and your effort will pay off because this process will ensure that you're genuinely helping people. 

And the more you show how helpful you are, the more people will trust you. And the more people trust you and come to rely on you. And the more they'll remember you. And come back to you. And buy from you. And recommend you to others. 

And... and... and... 

Soon, you'll see the benefit of being helpful, so when you say you're "happy to help," you'll really mean it. Because it'll feel a bit like magic. 

Isn't that crazy? Who knew how powerful simply being helpful could be?

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/happy-to-help-content-grid