#haven't been really tired with this thing

[vervainandspritz]

CRAWLING BACK TO YOU

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Word count: 4k

Warnings: drinking, swearing, feelings, friends to lovers trope kind of

Notes: Guys thanks for 400 follows love y'all

Was it possible to get used to a life so bizarrely unusual and different to find it… peaceful? Feeling her lungs fill out with fresh air when in reality every piece of clothing Y/N owned was sprinkled with ash of the wild flame that the Shelby family was?

People were scared of getting burned, naturally. Fading in and out of her life as soon as they'd find out she was associated with Peaky blinders.

At first it bothered her, oh, so much. That people didn't see a thing about her besides her association. Now, she was years into the strange peace she found in one of the most dangerous cities in Britain, with a gun settled in her hand so frequently it fit better than the several sets of leather gloves she owned.

A matter running so deep in her mind, she found herself touching it over and over, sometimes with a glimmer in her eyes.

…or like that day, sitting in the Garrison with her gaze fixated on a glass in her hand. Mentally fiddling with the churning in her stomach as his blue eyes filled her head all over again. The room was as loud as ever, accompanied by both men and women in questionable states of sobriety, laughs and conversations that didn't matter. Not one bit.

An upcoming weekend allowed people of Birmingham to loosen up, shake off the tension from the hard work they've been holding in their tired bones.

Nobody seemed to notice when the door swung open, allowing cold air of a Friday night to seep in. Nobody but her.

Footsteps echoed quietly, going unnoticed in the loud crowd but Y/N knew exactly who came in despite her eyes remaining on her glass of rum.

”Y/N, what do you think about him?” A voice came to her ears suddenly, a slight nudge to her side bringing her out of the weird state.

”Hmm?” She asked before quickly glancing at her friend, gaze looking for clues as to not show her disinterest. Emily rolled her eyes with a sigh, dramatically slumping her shoulders.

”Don’t tell me you just zoned out, again, after I just spent five minutes explaining the matter.” She raised her eyebrows while her blue eyes narrowed for a moment before she sighed again. ”Alright. You're lucky I can't be mad at you. What's wrong?” Y/N’s demeanour seemed to be a little different than usual, and knowing her for so long, Emily immediately picked on it.

Okay, maybe not immediately, she thought, but eventually she got there.

Y/N cleared her throat, a chuckle pushing past her lips before she pushed her glass away.

”Nothing really. I haven't eaten much today, and alcohol hit me harder than usual.” Came out of her mouth so smoothly, despite being just partially true.

”And it absolutely doesn't have anything to do with the pack of wolves you surround yourself with, does it?”

Just like that Y/N loosened up again, laughing at the way Emily always so easily joked about them so lightheartedly, as nobody else would dare. ”Speaking of the devil” she added with a smirk, glancing towards the door. ”Yours just appeared. Right on time as well, because I need to wrap it up and go home. Betty refuses to sleep when I'm not home.” Y/N sighed, feeling bad for not paying attention before Emily had to leave.

”Of course,” She nodded, ”Arthur will drive you home” Y/N said, as usual but Emily shook her head while making a funny face.

”Absolutely not! Send the younger one. Arthur can't seem to understand I'm married,” She rolled her eyes with a giggle as she nudged Y/N’s side. ”I’ll wait outside”

As the taller woman walked away, Y/N threw back the remaining liquor and took a deep breath before she got up, looking around.

Before she spotted the Shelby brothers, she felt a heavy gaze on her back which admittedly made things easier. Turning around, her eyes met Tommy's from the other side of the room. He was sober while she clearly already had a few, her gaze a bit softer around the edges. Making her way to their table, she took a deep breath once again.

”John,” Y/N greeted him first with a smile, “would you kindly drive Emily home tonight?” her speech came out a little smoother than usual, tension from her voice long gone which showed her state, already a bit softened by alcohol.

“I don't mind driving her,” Arthur abruptly interjected.

“No, no that's all right Art you're in no state to drive clearly.” She stated firmly with a hint of humour in her voice. His brows shot up.

”I just had ONE drink! Are you mad?” He asked pretentiously with a huff, making John laugh.

”Seems like you need to try harder, aye!” The younger brother chuckled before getting up and standing by Y/N.

”Sure thing, Darling, but you owe me a drink” He winked, making her roll her eyes playfully.

”Sure thing” She repeated, mockingly.

”Someone already had a few” Tommy interjected suddenly, a hint of teasing in his voice, but one only Y/N could pick up on.

”Oh, and you're here as well” She replied, her gaze meeting his once again with that mischievous glimmer. ”Found time to spend among us, Mr. Shelby?”

Thomas watched her for a moment before slowly but surely one corner of his lips twitched in sort of a smirk.

”Sit down before I kick you out of my pub, eh?” He patted the free space where John was sitting just a few moments ago.

And so she did, ignoring his comment while pouring herself a glass of whisky with a smirk. One thing that never changed between them were their verbal skirmishes. Ever since the young blue eyed boy chased her with a stick dipped in the mud, devilishly proud of himself while at it.

Arthur kept mumbling to himself about the unfairness of the situation, unserious as ever. Pouring himself another drink, he glanced at Y/N, feeling her amused look on him.

”Don’t need me as a driver, so let the man be, would you?” He threw in a snarky remark with a hint of amusement, to which she lifted her hands in the air in a gesture of surrender.

”Wouldn’t dare to tell you what to do, old man”

a smirk slowly spread on his face and so the game began all over again. Soon John came back along with other Blinders crowding the table as they drank, talked and had fun just like always while making sure everything in the pub was going just fine.

Y/N’s nonchalant, easygoing aura was strong as ever when Tommy's eyes drifted towards her every now and then. Time was passing by quickly when they had fun simultaneously drinking.

Nights like these were secretly meaningful to all the Shelby's, giving them space and time to forget for a little while about the heavy responsibilities and dangers of their day to day life. It was one of the instances where people could see Tommy slightly let his guard down as the alcohol affected his mind, causing him to behave more freely in a less controlled environment.

A lazy smile appeared on Y/N’s face as she chuckled listening to the colourful stories, obviously enhanced into dramatic details to be more entertaining. She liked seeing them like this, these fleeting moments of freedom making each of the men by the table turn into these young boys she used to know long years ago without the scarring of life they all carried nowadays.

Reaching for a pack of cigarettes sitting on the table, Y/N plucked one for Tommy, putting it into his hand out of habit without even thinking. One of those things she'd do even under the influence, with her better judgement clouded almost completely.

Without looking at her, Tommy put it between his lips, reaching for matches to light her cigarette before his own. The gestures were so natural nobody even noticed.

Putting the little box back on a table, Thomas let his hand fall down, landing on her thigh as his fingers began slowly stroking her soft skin mindlessly as he spoke to Isaiah across the table.

Her eyes drifted briefly on his face, grazing over his strong features and the way his lips remained formed in a relaxed smile as he spoke when suddenly another person got her attention.

A man in the background, about ten feet away from them, stood with a woman, kissing her cheek as she hugged him quickly before disappearing in the crowd.

His familiar features and cocky grin immediately sparked her interest, as she recognised Paul, a good friend of hers who happened to be delivering ingredients to her bakery everyday.

Seeing her, he moved closer before finally standing by the table.

“Evening, Y/N” He spoke up, nodding towards the men who quickly realized he was familiar with her, so not a bother. ”Care to go for a smoke with me?” He suggested, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat. His light hair dishevelled, eyes shiny from the small amount of alcohol he had as well.

Tommy's hand remained on her thigh, only slipping away as she moved towards the exit.

”Lead the way” She responded, grabbing her coat as well as her eyes briefly met John's who was clearly having a good time tormenting her whenever a man would show any interest.

”See you tomorrow then, aye, Y/N?” John called after her with mischief in his voice followed by a chuckle from Arthur.

She just shook her head with amusement before they disappeared through the door.

Tommy straightened his back, reaching for another cigarette to light, nodding to Isaiah to pour another drink.

”Well..” John started off, clearing his throat, ”At least someone gets some action today” elbowing his brother to the side he laughed, reminding Arthur of the failure in pursuing Emily. One of many.

”Already told you to fuck off, didn't I?” He responded, rolling his eyes before shoving him back.

Tommy remained quiet, his mood taking a hit from Y/N’s abrupt exit with another fella. His emotions usually kept at bay, now strengthened by the alcohol, grew to an alarming size in his head.

Throwing back another glass of whisky he relaxed into the seat once again, barely listening to the conversation as he zoned out, consumed by his contradictory thoughts.

Not long after he decided enough was enough, raising from the seat slowly, letting his brothers know he'd be going back home as tomorrow he had business to attend, as usual. It took a moment for his eyes to regain focus as whisky affected him a bit more than usual, perhaps because once again he forgot to eat anything substantial throughout the day.

Saying his goodbyes Tommy pulled his cap onto his head, walking through the crowd as people parted, not wanting to disrespect the mobster.

Cold air of the night hit him as soon as the door swung open, his eyes getting used to the darkness fairly quickly as he gazed towards his vehicle, simultaneously searching for keys in his pocket.

Making his way to the car he squinted, trying to grasp the right key which was a bit of a challenge in his current state. Getting a hold of the right one, he suddenly dropped the keys hearing a familiar voice behind his back.

”You’re absolutely not driving in this state” Y/N said, grabbing his arm.

”Fuck!” Tommy groaned, eyeing the fallen item. He could barely see them, wiping his eyes he turned towards Y/N. ”I dropped my fucking keys” He informed her, as if she wasn't a witness to this situation.

His balance was slightly off as he narrowed his cloudy eyes, obviously blaming her for what just happened. His drunken state made Y/N unable to hold in a giggle as she rolled her eyes stepping closer. Bending over she grabbed them, choosing the right key as she opened the door on the driver's side, slipping into the seat.

He stood there, his brows raised in a question which she immediately answered.

“I told you. You're not driving. Get into the car before you'll have to walk.” Her voice was lighthearted as she held his gaze.

Thomas tilted his head to the side, the small hint of bitterness making it through his exterior.

”Don’t you have places to be?” He asked, obviously hinting at the man she left with, making Y/N roll her eyes once again on his dramatics.

”Tommy get in the car” She repeated, knowing there was no point in arguing with him over whatever In his current state.

He stood for another longer moment before finally sighing and making his way around to the other side, sitting on the passenger seat. Tilting his head back he let it rest, closing his eyes.

Y/N let her eyes linger on his face for a moment before taking a deep breath and starting the engine.

They didn't say a word throughout the whole drive, and only later she realized Tommy fell asleep. Parking the car she leaned closer, touching his shoulder.

”Come on, let's get inside” She whispered, watching as he slowly opened his eyes in an awfully adorable way.

She bit back the smile as he nodded, mumbling something before climbing out of the car.

She grabbed his arm wanting to help him walk, but he pulled it back, telling her he was perfectly capable of walking alone. Stubborn as always.

A couple minutes later she shed her coat, pulling his own off of him as well along with the cap, making him roll his eyes.

”You realize I'm not that drunk, eh?” He asked, seeing her behaviour.

”I’m not allowed to help, am I?” She shot back, grabbing his hand as she pulled him towards the stairs leading up to his bedroom. ”Oh, and by the way, no. I've got no places to be so I'm staying over.” She stated, completely unfazed and with enough attitude to make him laugh out loud.

”Good to know” He replied, letting her pull him along. Despite his stubbornness, they both knew it happened more times than they'd be able to count. Their relationship was so specific in ways other people wouldn't understand… and neither of them seemed to be ready to admit it.

Thomas was on the edge of bed, groaning as he took off his boots. Y/N walked across the room, opening the wardrobe as she found her own shelf.

He watched her as she pulled out his shirt and her shorts, knowing well she'd be sleeping in this set. Thomas realized he couldn't remember the time before she was in his life. Before the top shelf was hers, filled with pieces of clothing he never cared to move.

She moved around so confidently, knowing exactly where everything was. It brought him a weird sense of comfort, even though his face remained in a neutral expression as she looked back.

”Do you need help changing or are you perfectly capable of doing that too, Mr. Shelby?” She asked, matching his neutral expression along with a professional tone of voice, obviously teasing him.

He shook his head slightly, letting out a sigh as he finally smirked. Looking at her for a longer moment, Tommy let his eyes linger on her body before meeting her eyes again.

”Are you trying to take advantage of me, Dove?” He asked, his voice clearly lower and with intent as he gave her the smile, one he learned long ago worked on women ever since he was a boy.

Y/N chuckled, approaching him to the point where he had to tilt his head back so their eyes could meet. Leaning down to his level, she started unbuttoning his shirt.

”I wouldn't dare” Her voice was calm, even though she felt everything but calm seeing him looking at her like this. Unable to put up the walls that usually surrounded him when he was sober. The tension seemed to grow rapidly as she was halfway down, eyes focused on the task but Tommy's gaze had her face turn slightly red which was not visible in the dim light luckily.

Stepping back, she looked up at him.

”You take care of that, and I'm going to change. Try not to fall, eh?” She teased with a smirk, walking into the bathroom.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Y/N took a deep breath, leaning forward as she needed a moment. She was very aware of the tension surrounding them the whole night and as she stood in front of him, with his eyes gazing at her this way, it felt more dangerous than ever before despite the fact they were bordering on this line for years now.

Everything felt stronger lately and she was.. more anxious than anything.

Looking up she caught her reflection, silently grazing over her face and body before sighing deeply as she turned around, swiftly changing into his shirt and her shorts.

Returning to the room, she looked up to check whether he was sleeping and surprisingly, Tommy was laying on the bed, shirtless and wearing only his undergarments. His arm was draped over his head, eyes closed but the tension in his shoulders was visible. Y/N knew he wasn't sleeping, but she didn't want to risk anything more after today so she let him be, turning off the lights as she moved around the bed, slipping on the other side.

His bed was big, more than big enough for the two of them. Y/N and Tommy never had an issue sleeping together even back when they were teenagers, sharing a bed in his small room in Small Heath.

She covered herself with a blanket, facing away from him for a while, attempting to get comfortable but the silence was deafening. She heard him move and turn as well, looking for a position comfortable enough to sleep in. Minutes were passing and Y/N was still wide awake, unable to even close her eyes for longer than a moment with the amount of thoughts running through her head.

The clock was ticking, and she looked through the big window, moonlight seeping in through the blinds and she still yet to be comfortable enough to feel even remotely tired.

Eventually the frustration took over and she sighed with annoyance, slowly sitting up. Y/N desperately wanted to sleep, as it would be the easy way out. Making it to the morning and hoping the infatuation would pass or fade away into something more bearable, just like always.

The moon looked beautiful that night, she thought, as she heard him move in a different way this time. The mattress dipped closer and she felt him sitting right behind her, the warmth of his body contrasting to the coldness of her hands caused by anxiety.

Her heart started thumping wildly in her chest, the anticipation almost took much to handle, shivers running down her spine as his breath touched her skin.

Yet she didn't dare to look at him, stubbornly keeping her eyes fixated on the view while he moved closer.

After a longer moment his fingers grasped her chin, making her look at him. Tommy felt the stirring too, somewhere in his chest, and the desperation seemed completely impossible to escape.

Forcing her to look at him, he moved closer. His face seemed even more unreal that way, kissed by the moonlight in the middle of the night causing her to sigh weakly.

He didn't move either, not for a while as they watched, fixated like it was the very first time, even though they knew each other’s features by heart. From her chin his fingers moved to cup her cheek instead, feeling the subtle warmth of her skin.

Lost in the moment Y/N sighed, his face so close to her own she could see every detail. Every scar and freckle decorating his skin. Her lips parted slightly as she tried to catch a breath, but his presence and warmth felt so.. overwhelming in a way she couldn't describe. A warmth she grew to associate with safety while simultaneously feeling like she's gambling every time they're close.

His arms wrapped around her tighter, pulling her on his lap with one hand holding her hip while the other cupped her cheek so roughly. Delicate caresses of his calloused fingers feeling better than she cared to admit. She couldn't think properly while his firm chest was pressed against her soft bosom, his lips ghosting over her jaw.

”Y/N” He whispered, Tommy's hot breath against her skin making her shiver and her eyes fall shut.

She moved her hand on top of his, trying to ground herself. Chaotic snippets of moments and thoughts running through her puzzled mind as her core ached for his touch.

”Look at me” He spoke again, tilting her head down to look him in the eyes. His own were barely open, pupils blown out with need as he stared at her with something she couldn't really understand. Failing to keep herself at bay, Y/N slowly leaned down, their breaths mingling and noses touched. She could feel the ghost of his soft lips touching hers, but couldn't quite force herself to let him have her. Again.

“Why do you keep doing this?” She whispered breathlessly, her other hand grasping his shoulder so hard she thought he might bruise.

Thomas' breath hitched, and he stopped moving for a moment, frozen as he realized the sense of her question. His heart began racing but he kept holding her so close, panting against her lips as he tried to search for an answer in his mind, which now seemed to be.. empty.

Y/N squeezed her eyes painfully hard waiting for an answer that seemed to never come before letting go of his shoulder with a humourless chuckle. Pulling his hands away from her she raised from his lap, quickly fixing her blouse before grabbing her black coat from the chair.

”Y/N” He spoke up, his voice gravely with disappointment aimed nowhere but at himself. ”Y/N, don't go” Tommy tried to convince, attempting to grasp her wrist but she slipped easily, seemingly between his fingers.

Like she always did.

”Goodnight, Tommy”

~~~

The whole next day Y/N threw herself into a bunch of work, whether it was around the house or finishing up the new recipes she prepared to introduce in her bakery the upcoming week.

By the end of the day she was covered in flour, but her apartment was squeaky clean. Her hair was a complete mess when she saw herself in the mirror, making her chuckle. She was physically tired but mentally proud of herself for taking her mind off of the blue eyed man so successfully.

…and then her phone rang. It was late, way too late for any other person to call, so subconsciously she knew it was him. Silently cursing herself for it, she picked up.

”Hello?” Y/N asked nevertheless but she didn't hear anything else for a moment before he cleared his throat.

”Because I can't force myself to let you go” Thomas spoke up, his words a little blurred, gravelly with the weight of his confession. ”...and I'm tired of pretending. This needs to end.” A moment of silence seemed to stretch into eternity, but Tommy knew she was listening. He could hear her breathing. As Y/N finally found some words, wanting to respond, he hang up.

She stood there, frozen for a couple moments, holding the phone as if he was still on the other side. What are you talking about, she wanted to ask, but Y/N knew what he meant. Despite her asking yesterday, it intimidated her a little to hear it from him. They never confronted each other before, but.. her heart swelled with the emotion she was never able to express before.

Suddenly a loud knock on the door came to her ears, her heart froze still for a moment before she opened it.

His eyes were bright, raw and vulnerable as he held her eye contact.

“Can I come in?”

[bumblesimagines]

i feel like i haven't seen you in ages.

how many years has it been since we ended things?

i'm sorry for everything. i really am.

Sam Carpenter

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

Hauling a trash bag in one hand, (Y/N) shot off some quick texts with just his thumb, though it proved difficult when it kept wiggling and nearly slipping from his grasp. He gave a quiet, frustrated huff and stuffed the phone into his back pocket once he grew closer to the room where the apartment building's trash chute was located, small grumbles leaving him until he shouldered the door open and noticed another person inside. 

Immediately, he slapped a polite smile on his face and barely glanced at his presumed neighbor. He learned quickly that only a select few residents living in the building actually wanted to befriend their neighbors; everyone else smiled politely and nodded stiffly without stopping for a greeting. Coming from a small, tight-knit town, the difference was startling.

The person, a girl he noted from the long hair, stood right in the corner of his eye, lingering. He would've assumed she needed help getting her trash down the obnoxiously small chute but there were no bags in her hands or resting near her feet. "(Y/N)?" She spoke quietly, her voice... familiar?

(Y/N) shoved his bag into the chute and took a breath before craning his head to look over his shoulder. It took him a moment, his sluggish brain still settling down from a long workday, but one good look at her face and a tidal wave of memories slammed into him.

Samantha fucking Carpenter. His high school ex-girlfriend who'd left a simple breakup voicemail before disappearing off the face of the Earth, only to reappear on the news following the massacre that ransacked their small town for what felt like the fourth or fifth time.

"Sam, Jesus... I feel like I haven't seen you in ages." He didn't think it'd be appropriate to mention he'd seen her plenty of times being blasted all over social media or shit-talked by the students of Blackmore University. He gave his trash bag another hearty shove so it finally tumbled down the tub. "How many years has it been since we ended things? Nine? It's good seeing you."

"Eight, actually." Sam corrected him softly, her arms curling around herself. She looked somber, melancholic, sober. A part of him felt guilty for being surprised with her sobriety, though, after everything she and her sister went through, he couldn't say he'd blame her for relapsing. "Yeah, uhm.. I'm sorry for everything. I really am. I should've- I don't know, been more considerate? I shouldn't have left like that."

"It's been eight years, Sam. All that's in the past now." He chuckled and dusted off his hands, offering her a half-shrug after. "I didn't think you'd end up in New York, though. What brought you to the city?"

"Tara, actually. She and her friends are attending Blackmore now. I, uhm.. I don't want her wandering the city without someone keeping an eye out for her." Sam let out a long sigh and brought her hand to her shoulder, her fingers kneading into her muscles. God, she really did look tired. He couldn't begin to imagine what went through her head. "I never thought I'd be the helicopter type but..." She shook her head. "What brought you here?"

His shoulders straightened and he grinned. "I work at Blackmore, funnily enough. It's my first year teaching Art History. I haven't seen Tara but if she takes Art History at some point, she might end up in one of my classes. Can't say I'll play favorites, though."

The ghost of a smile passed over her face and she laughed softly. "I'll tell her to keep an eye out for you. I think she liked you more than me."

"Yeah, well, I won her over by buying her ice cream all the time so I wouldn't take it personally."

Despite the years, and the heart-shattering way they parted, talking to Sam felt refreshing. There'd been a point in his life where they'd been best friends, even though they spent most of their high school years getting into trouble and making themselves extremely acquainted with the local cops. Things were different now; they were older, more mature, and with plenty of life experience in their back pockets.

"I'd love to catch up sometime, Sam." He told her gently. "I've got plenty of stories to tell."

Sam smiled again, this time wider. "I'd like to hear some, then."

[fangdokja]

ATTENTION, My Readers. ... I've finally finished it. LORD, it's been a while since I've written something so long. Nevertheless.... I've done it.... Prepare to eat GOOD. I’ve also used brand new ingredients for this exquisite buffet. Scheduled to be published this Friday. Readers, I was so..... tired after writing. I wrote thinking I was just going to make a 12K chapter at most or something.... no.... I wanna sleep. eh, but I still have work to do lol.

Also we reached 2K followers officially so you know what that means. If you haven't voted for what explicit erotic horror story you want, do so here: 🖤⚔️ 2K Followers: Pick Your Hellish Harem Battle 💀

And now time to finish up the 1K Followers Special. This is actually my first time writing something solely focused on explicit gang rape (meaning: including full 100% edits and checking), so I'm really excited to play around with it :))

Here's the thing, I actually believe I might enjoy writing gang rape. Like maybe near the level of enjoyment when writing gore. Gore is easier to write; since writing multiple characters in a single scene, like in gang rape, is difficult. I was able to get some practice down with the recent dark humor drabbles, which I'm actually really thankful for. Even though, originally, I was really annoyed at getting mindblocked with horror content like crazy. But, hey, everything worked out really well. Regardless, I'm pumped to write like a madman. SUPER EXCITED TO COOK THIS UP. I've had some experience with drafts, but never yet a fully fleshed out 100% polished, edited story. Gang rape shenanigans have a lot of potential and room for creativity, kind of like how teratophilia is to me. So, gonna play around with this.

Not gonna lie. I'm so tired from writing that long Part 3 story ahahhaha, but at least quality is legit. Also, low-key want to do the request for the next Part of Yandere! Older Brother. ahhhh, I have so much long requests. I like legit got distracted by so much works that the Part 3 honestly slipped out of my mind haha. Well nothing set yet, except that I'll be working on the 1K Special for now.

[ashyjingles]

hi i see all your points and they're all valid but i disagree with some of them but also agree with some (regardless of how much i agree with them though your points all absolutely have an undeniable foundation)

disclaimer i haven't watched the show or read the books in a while

1) the pacing was ABSOLUTELY off. nowadays companies don't want to 'waste' money on anything that could be filler episodes, but those filler episodes are crucial to us getting to know a character both under times of extreme stress, but also maybe some more relaxed moments (as relaxed as a quest to get back your dead mom back can be at least)

each chapter in the books had something unique to it. when you mash them up into that few episodes, it gets loud and muddled. stuff happening ALL the time tired a viewer out. it also makes them so focused on the big plot points that they don't get the chance to notice the finer details, thus removing the ability for good world building via show not tell. you're right, everything feels too explicitly given to us. we're supposed to be learning the world with the characters! it's part of the struggle. but instead their struggles and characters are undermined by making it too easy

2) i actually don't think percy trusted poseidon at ALL at that point. they've had no contact until that point, but the fact that poseidon was his father alone got sally killed. percy resents him for that, and for not once showing up throughout his childhood years. i like the fall rather than the jump because it shows an apprehension to trust him (which is a large part of his character! he doesn't trust authority figures right away! not after all his shit teachers! not after gabe!) and a pleasant surprise that poseidon is actually so strongly advocating for percy

i like percy as a parallel to luke. angry at the gods and their treatment of their kids, and of opinion that things need to CHANGE. because that's part of what makes him fighting against the titans so significant. he's not fighting AGAINST the gods, he's fighting **for the demigods**. that requires him to fight for the lesser evil

i also like percy and annabeth as a sort of foil. annabeth had a terrible experience with her mortal family, so she turns to her godly side. and they've been there for her since a very young age!

percy meanwhile has had only good experiences with his mom. the problem is that those good experiences are ONLY with his mom. it's them two against the world to him at first. they're both suffering gabe's abuse, and his dad, who's supposed to be a god with insane powers, just lets it happen? the sally dies because of her association with poseidon. percy's angry at him for not protecting her.

3)

a) GROVER I LOVE YOU. you're supposed seem lowkey pathetic at first BUT THEN PROVE YOURSELF. my shayla 🥺😔

sorry anyways

b) we never got to see annabeth prove how smart she was! we never got to see her just be a normal annoying 12 year old! we never got to see her just be a softie! or a kid!

and i cannot express how much i agree with what you say about her being there at luke's fight. her realization that he can't be saved... doesn't really happen until the very end for her. why is happening here?

however, i think that her crush on him can be nuanced. i don't care for the crush one way or another. i think it works with or without. an infatuation with an older brother figure makes sense! i'm not a younger sibling so i don't know it first hand, but my little sister adored me and would follow my every word or action without question. i like that representation of luke and annabeth's relationship because i adore familial ones. but kids getting 'crushes' on people they look up too also makes sense i think. i'm aroace tho so. take that with a grain of salt lmao bc idk how that works

c) abuse is abuse, and none should be "better/worse than the other." BUT. different types of abuse lead to different trauma responses. that changes their character. what i'm trying to say is that i agree with you lol

d) i think that it was reasonable for sally to get frustrated in difficult moments. i think the issue they had was they lacked any moments that showed her true character. we only see her worst moments, not her best. based on pattern recognition alone, she does come off as a bad mother. badly treating percy, badly treating percy, oh the museum scene is cute! badly treating percy... you see how that reads

you're also right about how it was too much for her character. even in her frustration, i find it hard to believe she would treat her child that way. you could of course argue that percy sees her through a lense because she's the only thing he has (and he routinely has to deal with gabe) but routinely throughout the books she is shown to be a great mother, even with any possible lense removed. it's jsut. bad writing

okay i'm done

please don't think any of this is disrespecting your opinion!! i think your opinions are all valid even if im technically disagreeing with them. i'm just sharing my own thoughts :)

UNPOPULAR (?) OPINION

(pls don't attack me for this 😭😭)

THE PERCY JACKSON SERIES WAS A PISS POOR ADAPTATION!!!

I would like to start by saying absolutely no hate on the actors!! They were perfect for their roles <3

I'm not just gonna be complaining the whole time, there were some things I did like and I do mention them as well.

1) the pacing was all off. I get that they only had 8 episodes to cram all that info and action into, but it really was WAYY too fast paced. The fight scenes didn't feel like fight scenes coz they were over in seconds, and just a lot of the info you're supposed to find out gradually or just know from context clues is outright said instead of shown and spaced out.

Also, just some of the dialogue was really cluncky and weird/unnecessary and made it very awkward to watch at times.

And then the only two long fight scenes dragged on and ended in ways that just completely disregarded a major character moment. Which leads me to no. 2

2) The arch scene. I actually really liked how they changed it to a shrine of Athena's in the show, it really showed how much Annabeth trusted her mother, and when Echidna was able to pass through anyway, the betrayal was a nice touch which really showed how much trouble they were really in.

HOWEVER!!! What I DIDN'T like, was that last fight scene with Echidna and the Chimera, which actually really upsets me coz it was our first decently lengthed fight scene. I didn't mind the fight overall, but the ending was a cop-out.

The scene in the book where he jumps out of the arch is supposed to show how much trust/faith he has in the gods and his father. He trusts that Poseidon will catch him. And yes, ik, Uncle Rick "thought it was closer" and didn't realise the river didn't go directly under the arch, but surely the fact that it wasn't closer holds that much more weight if he had jumped?

3) They completely butchered Grover, Annabeth, Sally and Gabe's characters.

Grover is supposed to be this scared but BRAVE and LOYAL satyr who loves nature and whose entire purpose is to PROTECT young demigods and find Pan (the god of the wild).

Instead, we get this guy who rats out his friend for doing something he didn't even do, AGREES WITH ARES about fucking WAR of all things (I get it was a ploy to get information but I'm still not really vibing coz it was just so out of character), and WAITS OUTSIDE till the fight is finished before running in and asking if it was over yet. And if all that wasn't bad enough, they've turned him into the exposition guy. Uncle Rick, does show don't tell mean nothing to you?? He deserved a lot better than what he got.

Annabeth in the books had so much depth and character dimension; she wanted to break free from her stereotypes (dumb blonde, girls can't fight/are weak etc); she had a lot of faith in the gods (especially her mother - I'm really glad this was shown in the show); she wanted a way to prove herself to the gods.

Instead her character is moulded down into a singular trait. 'Mean'. I personally think it's a step up from her movie counterpart's singular trait of 'girl', but they could also just do her one better and give her an actually fully fleshed out personality.

I understand that, due to her appearance, they obviously can't do the whole dumb blonde thing (which I really don't mind), but they could throw in some struggles about her race and the 'girls are weak' thing too. Obviously they'd have to be careful to handle it respectfully but it's definitely doable. Like, there are so many thing they can do with her character and all they did was make her mean.

I would have liked it to have been more obvious that she wanted to prove herself to the gods, because it's such a big reason why she chose to be part of the quest. Like, the bathroom scene should've made it more obvious that she was scoping him out to see if he was the leader of the quest she was prophesied to be in, instead of that stupid janky line about capture the flag.

I did, however, like that they got rid of her little crush on Luke, because the fandom ruined their sibling relationship because of that. (I can already see the arguments THATS gonna bring up lol). I interpreted her little crush on Luke as something similar to like when you'd have a teacher crush on primary school. A silly little crush because "they're pretty and were nice to me" kinda vibes. A platonic crush if you will ?

ANYWAYS, I'm glad they fixed that up, but I really would've liked to see her and Luke act more like siblings before he left. Like, half the confusion the first time round was coz we didn't get any proper sibling moments before (or after really) Percy came to the conclusion that Annabeth liked Luke. It just would've been a nice touch.

I also really didn't like the fight with Luke at the end (they changed WAYYYY too much) but the thing I dislike the most was that Annabeth was there. She wasn't supposed to be there. Half her struggle through the rest of the books was that she couldn't come to terms with the fact that Luke was on the Titan's side, and tried to hurt/kill them multiple times when they got in his way. It's supposed to be a slow process for her, but having her there would (realistically) speed up that process, and undermine her feelings and struggles from the books.

On another note, I didn't like how they dealt with Cerberus. It felt so unfeeling, when it was supposed to be a more emotional interaction. Annabeth loves dogs, and that was supposed to be one of the moments you learn more about her. It was supposed to be sad when they parted, but instead it was more of a "that thing is going to kill us, we need to get the fuck outta here" kind of situation.

One last thing for Annabeth coz this is getting long. The Fields of Asphodel scene was rubbish. If there had to be one of them stuck there, it should've been Grover. I truly believe he'd have the most regrets out of the three (eg. Thalia dying under his care, losing the teleportation pearl, trusting Luke, regret for ratting Percy out perhaps? Etc). But realistically they all would've planned roots. They each have regrets weighing them down. Anyways, I just thought it was stupid

Gabe is meant to be the absolute worst. He's meant to be an abusive asshole who couldn't give two shits about Sally and Percy. He's meant to be demanding and messy.

Instead we get this somewhat likeable guy whose worst crime is sitting in his chair for hours at a time. We're supposed to hate this guy, so why am I finding him kinda funny? Like yes, he's still kind of a dick, but he's not so irredeemable as he once was, and this version of him DEFINITELY doesn't deserve to be turned into a statue 😭😭

Like, miss ma'am, just divorce him, move out, turning him into a statue was so unnecessary in the show 😭😭

And I hate to say it, but the movies actually got him right.

And that leads me into Sally's character. In the books she's this brilliant woman with a heart of gold who loves her son more than anything. She married an abuser to protect her son from worse things, so he could grow up with a relatively normal childhood without fear of being hunted by monsters 24/7.

She's supposed to be a bit timid, a bit scared of Gabe because HES AN ABUSER. Sally isn't supposed to have her girlbossness yet! She hasn't gotten to the point where she can leave him (both because she's staying to protect Percy, and also because after being with someone like that for a prolonged period of time, it starts to get to you)

Side note - she's also not supposed to keep contact with Poseidon?? It kinda defeats the purpose of keeping Percy underwraps?? (I'm talking about that one flashback in the diner, it doesn't really make sense)

ANYWAYS!! Instead of some quality character development/growth, we get a character who unrealistically doesn't need it coz she isn't really a victim in the first place. They took away part of her character by taking away her trauma. The way that Sally and Gabe are portrayed really takes away from Sally, and the point that her character is at in the show doesn't make sense to her situation in the show's current timeline.

Also, the way Sally treats Percy in some of the flashbacks is fucking disgusting. THAT is NOT my Sally Jackson. My mother is emotionally/vocally abusive and neglectful, and that is exactly how she treats my neurodivergent younger brother. Maybe I'm projecting or looking into it too much, but seeing that in the show from one of my favourite characters in the books was so jarring, I almost started crying.

Because Sally is supposed to be the best mum, everyone loves her coz she's such a wonderful human being, and that's how she's been treating her son. It just makes me second guess how bad my own mum really is. Obviously everyone has their flaws, but getting angry and yelling at a child because he's scared/upset/doesn't want to do something has never been one of hers.

Alrighty, I'm gonna stop yabbering on coz I feel like this is WAYY too long, but I have a lotta thoughts and feelings about this coz PJO is my comfort fandom lol.

Please gimme any thoughts/opinions you like to share <33

[jakemyboy]

Space dog. If the background were trees it would be tree dog. If doughnuts, doughnut dog. Space dog sounds nice fortunately.

[moralcandy]

take a bite! 🩸(close-up under the cut ↓)

[ryusaidate]

quick redraw of this from last year because i needed to feel good about myself :V

[blindmagdalena]

i've had the most exhausting week but i'm back and eager to be annoying about my favorite little guy

[naamahdarling]

Augh

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

i am once again incredibly fond of something the broader fandom hates

[zebratimw]

[raycatz]

I've been wondering for awhile, but are you making your account as a sort of lu archive?

In a way! It would be cool to have that as a goal but it just wouldn't be possible. There's way too much content for me to keep track of. That said! I do want to grab a lot of the older / current art that I love. (so more like a curated collection?)

I've noticed that as people drift from the fandom (or after fandom discourse) that things go missing or are deleted ;-; I think it's such a shame!

I was shy about interacting when I was new in the fandom and so didn't reblog a lot of the art that I admired the most. Some of it cannot be found, or is very difficult to find now. I kinda regret not interacting more. I wish I had been more vocal about my appreciation then.

Anyways! I got real worried about more art vanishing earlier this year and just started queuing older posts I missed. (I'm more scrupleless now. But,, a part of me still worries that it will bother the artists, especially given past fandom drama being the reason why a decent number of people have moved on or deleted work. I don't want to remind anyone of it and accidentally cause for art to be deleted. But I adore a lot of those works and want to save them in some way- or finally share those excited thoughts I had. so anyways...) Also, there's just a bunch of cool stuff to share! The queue has like,, 272 posts rn omfg.

I've also gone back and added character tags to my LU reblogs, as well as other tags, to make them easier to find.

[acquiescest]

irt the lrb what would you say if i said liam & noel spent new years 2023 together in paris

what would you say if i said liam bought the house in france (the one with noel's name carved into the walls) in march 2023 and that month noel talked about wanting to spend several months in paris

which could mean nothing

[egg-emperor]

so gonna be real I barely do life updates here anymore but I've got some bullshit coming up in my personal life that's not looking good. I said I was working on finding out what's wrong with my health from doctors and getting help for a bunch of stuff in my life in general and getting a support system and stuff and I was and it was going well and things were looking up

but now I've been forcefully inducted into some programme thing to push me into doing something I'm physically incapable of doing with my disability but it's apparently mandatory or I'll lose some of the support. I don't know why they decided I can when they know of my issues (and they haven't even recieved the form where they're supposed to be checking for my capability yet so wtf) but apparently there's no way for me to opt out and it's going to last for a year at least

and I've seen a lot of negative things about this program when I wasn't even seeking bad reviews, the majority is negative. so my life might be about to go to shit for a while and I'm already feeling miserable and it hasn't even started yet lol. this may genuinely badly affect my mental and physical health which I've been working so hard to deal with lately so it's very upsetting and stressful

I hope it's not going to take up all my time and I can still be as active as I want to be here because it's one of the things that actually brings some brightness to my life. I also hope all the stress it's going to put me through doesn't affect my behavior here and seep into what I do but I'll try my hardest not to let that happen because my blog is one of the very few positive things in my life atm

best case scenario is they realize I can't do this and take me off it but it's not looking good. that would be more likely in a perfect world where people could take invisible (well mostly invisible for me) disabilities seriously. because I'm not even that hopeful about the doctor stuff at this point, maybe it's just because it's taking so damn long for the referrals I need for them to check me out in the areas needed but I don't know if they'll even find out what's up with my chronic pain and or if I'll get a diagnosis

so yeah I think I'm actually just screwed and life is about to become even more painful and exhausting for me than it already is and a hell of a lot more stressful as a result but maybe if it leads to my health worsening like fainting in front of people again it'll be enough for them to see that this was a bad idea haha. I mean first of all my first meeting about this has been booked for me the day I'm literally taking an 24 hour ECG test because they won't even let the doctors try to finally find out what's wrong with me before pushing me to do this ffs

[probayern]

i miss germany, i miss the euros, i miss june

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

gosh FUCK everything was so EASY three months ago!!!! and now I can't stop worrying about everything my body is doing all the time!!! is this tiredness fatigue am I eating too much sugar how long do I have until I end up diabetic is that tingling in my hands neuropathy am I hungrier than I should be why am I tired when I haven't eaten since breakfast why am I tired after I eat what's this and what's that and I just can't get my brain to fucking shut up. I KNOW the facts and I know that I'm fine so why can't I stop turning it over and over in my head!!!