#haven't actually listened to and fully enjoyed music in a while

[reidmoony-toast]

Strawberry Wine. ౨ৎ

"If I was empty space, and you were a formless shape we'd fit"

Spencer x fem singer!reader

The two times they miss each other, and the one time they don't

content: no use of y/n, fluff, pining galore

cw: lil suggestive? (She sings Chappell Roan)

wc: 2.4k

an: I've been cooking this up for a while, but life has been super busy, so I haven't yet finished the other parts. I'm very sorry if they take a few weeks to finish :[ Anyways, hope you enjoy! <3

| pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | series masterlist ౨ৎ

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He really wished he wasn’t here. He never should have begrudgingly agreed to Penelope’s crazy plans, no matter how much she bugged him about it. This was about as far opposite to his kind of thing that you could get.

The lights were bright–unbearably so; flashing so much he feared he would have an epileptic episode (if it weren’t for the small fact that he didn’t actually have epilepsy, but he digressed).

The large room was also deafening, filled with fans, all of them buzzing in anticipation. Penelope was not an exception–she bounced up and down like a rogue ball, shrieking in excitement close to every thirty seconds. He would know. He had been counting.

Although he would rather be at the very back (if he had to choose anywhere in this wretched place), Penny had physically forced him into the very front row, only a barrier separating them from the stage.

He didn’t know and definitely didn’t want to know how Penelope had acquired such tickets and at such short notice before the show. He had found that he was better living in ignorance of the borderline illegal habits of his best friend.

He had just endured half an hour of what Penny had called the ‘openers’. He was dismayed to hear that the performance was not the actual concert; he learnt that the hard way when he had asked Penelope if they could leave, which she replied to with a cackle, stating that the band that had just exited the stage was, in fact, not the main event of the evening.

He had buried his face in his hands and let out a loud groan. He only had himself to blame for being caught up in the ‘Garcia puppy eyes’ trap, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t whinge at least a little bit–or a lot bit.

He didn’t know much about this singer girl, only that Penelope was obsessed with her, bringing her up in conversation many a time. He admitted that he often didn’t fully (if at all) listen when Garcia gushed over her–he seemed to always zone out.

He had never properly heard her songs, only in passing when Penelope would blast music in her cave, and he didn’t even have a clue what she looked like.

He was mentally preparing himself for the next few gruelling hours, with Penny jumping up and down beside him, when the lights dimmed, sending the whole room into a frenzy.

He winced at the screaming and whooping coming from all around him. Smoke machines started emitting mist, covering the stage and fogging up the colourful lights. The crowd continued to roar, Penelope squealing next to him and gripping the railing of the barrier.

A figure emerged through the haze, the silhouette showing locks of hair cascading over their shoulders, clad in a silk slip dress that ended at the mid thigh, hugging their curves.

They started singing–a smooth, silky voice wrapped around him, making the room suddenly feel more bearable. He swallowed hard. The singing was beautiful. Sweet and rich, wrapping around him like a cosy blanket.

He raised his eyebrows with pleasant surprise. It was, admittedly, not bad in the slightest. He hated to say it, but he was enjoying it, a lot. More than he should, given that it was new-age pop, not the refined tones of classical music–his favourite genre by far.

All thoughts of music flew out of his head as the owner of the angelic voice stepped into the stage lights, allowing him to properly see her for the first time. His breath left his body as he took her in.

She was gorgeous, stunning–almost ethereal, as her other-worldy voice filled his cochlea, transmitting electrical signals through his nerve pathways to his primary auditory cortex.

Her hair shone in the light, giving her a halo of the highest grade, her bright lips curled into a perfect smile around her words, and her eyes shone with a million glinting stars.

He was utterly enamoured by her–every facial expression, every movement she made, every note she sang was all absorbed thoroughly by his wide eyes.

In no time at all, the first song was over, finishing with loud cheering and clapping from the audience. The angel grinned out at the sea of fans, soaking up the feeling.

Unlike Spencer, she was well and truly in her element, looking as though there was not where else in the world she would rather be.

He gazed in open-mouthed awe at the way she floated effortlessly about the stage–and, of course, that breathtaking smile that scrunched her nose and revealed the prettiest dimples he had ever seen.

He was snapped back to reality with a sharp poke in the side from Penelope, centering his gravity away from the girl on stage and back to where he stood.

“What?” He said loudly, an exasperated look adorning his face as he tore his eyes back to his best friend. She was smirking at him, arms crossed in front of herself.

“You have such a thing for her, I’m surprised you're not drooling right now,” she answered mockingly. He scoffed, dismissing her words with a wave of his hands as he faced the stage again, not wanting to miss a moment of the show. He heard Garcia laugh deeply at his half-hearted denial.

All thoughts of Penelope soon left his mind as the heaven-sent saint started to sing again, striking chords in his heart at every note.

The song came and went again, and Spencer wished they would not go by so fast, so he could see her for as long as possible.

The next song started with a more upbeat track, and the angel laughed, running back down stage, scarily close to where Spencer stood. “She was a, Playboy, Brigitte Bardot,” she started to sing, “She showed me things, I didn't know.”

She stuck out her tongue playfully, shaking her hips, making the satin fabric hugging her curves sway.

“She did it right there, out on the deck,” she bit down on her bottom lip as Spencer’s face heated, realising what the song was about. “Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck.”

She gestured with her fingers to a spot on her neck, pretending as if her fingers were the teeth, tipping her head back with imaginary ecstasy. He swallowed heavily, face hot.

“I'm in the hallway waitin' for ya,” she sang, “Mini skirt and my go-go boots,” on those lyrics, she bent over, running her free hand from her heeled boots and up her legs, jutting her ass out.

Spencer’s mouth fell open in shock. He had never felt like this from only a few minutes of meeting someone, let alone just laying his eyes on them. This was completely out of the ordinary for him, and it left him reeling.

~☆~

Songs flitted by like the butterflies in his stomach, and his gaze was permanently fixated on the captivating women centre-stage. He couldn't tear his eyes away even if he tried–and he most definitely didn't.

A new song started, fading in with a catchy guitar riff, and the crowd went wild, sparking a wide smile on the angel’s face.

The drum beat started, and she strutted down the stage, tipping her head back and shaking her smooth curls out in the dim lights before she began to sing. “Midnight,” she dragged out the end of the word.

“Come and pick me up, no headlights,” she blew a kiss to the fans in front of her, winking as she made her way down the stage towards where Spencer was situated.

Penelope grasped his arm tighter and tighter as she neared, buttery voice washing over him.

“Watch us go ‘round and ‘round each time,” she stretched out the note, rolling her head to the side, eyes landing exactly where Spencer was standing. He froze, dumbstruck, as he locked eyes with her.

He gulped heavily as a cheeky grin adorned her face, soft lips framing perfectly white teeth. She straightened up, continuing the lyrics as she floated even closer to him, never breaking eye contact.

“You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye,” She knelt down on the stage in front of Spencer. His breathing stuttered as his gaze remained on her, utterly entranced.

“And I got that red lip classic thing that you like,” she dragged her thumb across her lip, singing to him through a happy, if not slightly teasing, smile.

“‘Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style,” He could see her mouth curving around each syllable as she sang into the microphone, eyes still, somehow, on him.

He most definitely looked like an idiot in that moment, with his flushed cheeks and slack-jawed awe of the ethereal woman only a few feet away, but he didn't have it in himself to care.

She had seen him, and not only that, she had actually come over and sat, right there on the stage in front of him. No matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, she was–without question–looking, and singing, straight at him.

She leaned impossibly closer, leaving only a few inches between their two faces as she crooned the words into the microphone. His eyes flicked across the features of her face before they settled on her own.

Up close, they were mesmerising– long, thick lashes framed bright irises, sparkling with the light of the night sky– he could almost map out the constellations he knew off by heart from the incandescent twinkles in her eyes.

“You got that long hair, slicked back-” She moved her free hand to hover over the collar of Spencer's shirt, seemingly asking silent consent to touch him.

He shook out of his trance long enough to nod vigorously. She let out a short chuckle, grabbing his collar and carefully but firmly pulling him closer by his shirt. “-white T-shirt.”

His breath hitched as hers ghosted his lips with every exhale, noses almost touching, with hardly any room for the microphone as his heart raced impossibly faster.

“And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt.” At that, she pulled away, letting go of his collar as she leaned back to run her free hand over her skirt, smirking at Spencer and his flaming-red face.

“And when we go crashing down, we come back every time,” she repeats, still serenading him. “'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style!” She finally stood, winking and blowing a kiss at a thoroughly flustered Spencer as she strutted to another part of the stage.

Spencer stood there, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe she had not only noticed him, but also sang right to him. His shirt was crumpled from where she had gripped it, but he didn't dare fix it. If possible, he would never smooth the rumpled fabric if it meant he could have a reminder of her always.

A rough shake of his shoulder brought him back to the present, Penelope standing astonished next to him, incredulous smile playing on her lips and she all but shrieked in his ear–something along the lines of, ‘You're so lucky!’ and ‘You're so down bad!’.

He didn't pay her any mind, instead keeping his still-red face on her, and her only.

She wandered to different parts of the stage during the remainder of the song, but Spencer didn't miss the more-than-occasional glances she sent his way throughout the next few songs, smile growing each time they locked eyes.

When they did, he matched her smile with his own goofy grin, his heart feeling as if it was beating out of his chest, breathing becoming erratic as he clutched the railing with white knuckles.

~☆~

All too soon, the concert came to an end, accompanied by raucous applause from the crowd. He clapped like a mad thing too, finally understanding why her fans acted the way they did.

The version of him from two hours ago would have teased him relentlessly for this, but he didn't care. It was another completely different version of him, a version that had not yet laid his eyes on her.

It certainly felt like a life-altering moment in his existence. His being was now split into ‘before’ and ‘after’. Before and after her.

She waved and blew kisses enthusiastically as she made her way off stage. He deduced that she would have to walk right past Spencer to get there. He pathetically hoped she would look at him one last time–prayed she cared enough to seek him out once again.

Electricity jolted through his entire body, head to toe, as she locked eyes with Spencer when he was in her direct line of sight.

She gave him a wink and a little wave, biting her lip through a larger-than-life grin; he felt giddy, hand coming up in an awkward half-wave. He silently cursed himself for the stiltedness of his actions.

She, however, didn't have such qualms as she blew him an air kiss, giggling as she turned away, skipping the rest of the way off stage. The screaming continued as the heel of her shoe disappeared behind the side-stage curtain.

He felt oddly hollow as the venue lights came back on, signalling the end of the show. He kept staring at the spot where she had last been, silently hoping she would come back out and sing again. Look at him again.

He blinked hard, finally re-orienting himself, glancing around to see a few people staring at him, whispering to themselves.

They were talking about him–about his encounter. He turned away again, ducking his head as his cheeks burned again.

As quickly as they came, the stares went again, and his eyes flicked back to the stage again. He so badly wanted to meet her, talk to her, even just lay his eyes on her again. That would be enough.

Penelope cleared her throat next to him, and he hummed in response, still not looking away. She snorted. “Come on lover boy, time to leave.”

He turned his attention to see her nod in the direction of the exit.

He gazed back at that spot once more, heaving out a melancholy sigh, before turning away, heading towards the door.

“Yeah, let's go.”

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Thank you for reading, feedback is appreciated x

Tags: @reidology13 - Comment to be added!

Masterlist ౨ৎ

[noona-clock]

The Love Playlist - Part 1

As Got7 have just comeback could I request something with Jaebeom please? I haven't fully recovered from the excitment of yesterday

i know the comeback was a while ago, but i hope you're still excited for this @lostfictionalbee !! thank you so much for your request!

Genre: AU, Fluff, Slice of Life

Pairing: Jaebeom x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 | Words: 2,496

Growing up, nobody ever told you just how exhausting and overwhelming it was being an adult. Your parents had certainly made it look easy; in fact, they'd made it look so easy that your dream as a child had been to grow up and get an office job. The idea of dressing in business casual clothes, taking the train into the city, having your own desk, typing away on a laptop, getting coffee at a quaint cafe just around the corner -- it had all just held so much appeal for you in your younger years. Your most played make-believe game had been one with you as the receptionist for a very high-powered law firm. You'd typed away at an old keyboard, taken calls on a disconnected phone, and filed scribbled-on papers in an empty drawer of the coffee table in your living room.

It had taken almost no time at all after going off to university, majoring in business administration, graduating with honors, and getting a job in HR to realize that your childhood dreams had been highly glamorized and romanticized -- to say the least.

Yes, you enjoyed building a business casual wardrobe and becoming a regular at a locally-owned coffee shop next to your office and making friends with your co-workers.

But the actual work part of it was draining, stressful, and taxing on your mental and emotional health.

Yes, you now made adult money and could afford to buy all the things you'd wanted as a kid.

But after paying for rent, utilities, and groceries every month, it seemed like you hadn't even received a paycheck at all! Where did all your money go?! And how had your parents managed to not only buy a house but also raise children?! It must've helped to have two incomes, but still. If they'd ever been worried about finances, they'd done a great job of hiding it because you'd never known.

When you'd brought all of your woes up to them shortly after admitting to yourself that being an adult wasn't nearly as fun as you'd thought it would be, your mom had answered with a lilting laugh and said, "Of course, it's not fun. It's work. That's why you have to make your own fun."

You'd spent every day since trying to do just that.

After some trial and error (and a bit too much extra money down the drain), you found comfort in a YouTube channel called "Soul Tracks." It was almost like a radio show; the host would go live just about every night to create custom playlists based on listener requests. While you weren't musically gifted in any way, shape, or form, you'd always loved listening to it. Music had the ability to soothe and relax your frayed mind in a way nothing else really could. One night, the Soul Tracks live stream had popped up in your recommended feed, and something about it had drawn you to click on it.

You'd felt a connection to the show almost instantly, and from then on, you tuned in every chance you got -- which was basically every single night.

A few months after becoming a regular listener, you'd even sent in a message to the host -- someone you only knew as DefSoul -- to request your own custom playlist.

Hi DefSoul 😊

I've been listening to Soul Tracks for a few months now, and really, I have to start off by thanking you for sharing your time and talents with us. Your show is so calming to me, and I don't think I've missed an episode since I found your channel.

But the reason I'm writing in is the same reason everyone else writes in: I'm looking for a playlist.

I'm kind of new to this 'adult' thing -- I graduated from university a while ago, and have been working an HR job for a few years, but I still feel like I just became a grown-up. To be honest, I still don't actually feel like a grown-up, but apparently I am.

Anyway. As weird as it sounds, my dream growing up was to work in an office building, and now that I've achieved that dream... it kind of sucks. Not at all what I thought it would be! I guess I'm just feeling lost. Hopeless. Unsure of what life is really all about and who I really am.

Gee, is that all? 😂

You've proven yourself to be a musical genius, so I know whatever you come up with will solve all of my life problems and answer all of my life questions. (Or at least keep me entertained for months on end, which is just as good.)

Feel free to read this on your show -- I'm crossing my fingers that I'm not the only "adult" out there who feels this way.

Thanks 💜

-[Your Username]

Since his livestreams regularly had thousands of viewers, you told yourself that sending in a request was a long shot. He probably got so many messages each day and only had time to read a handful of them. It was very unlikely yours would be one of them.

Lo and behold, just a few days later, you heard the soothing, deep voice you'd come to know so well reading your words for all to hear -- well, for all twelve thousand people who were currently listening.

"I can assure you, you're not the only adult who feels this way," DefSoul said after finishing your letter. "I certainly feel that way. Not even sometimes, but most of the time. And I don't know about the whole 'musical genius' thing, but I put together a playlist that I think -- I hope -- will help you settle into those feelings and make a little peace with them."

Your heart was thudding inside your chest as you listened, and as the first song on the playlist -- your playlist!! The playlist DefSoul had made especially for you!! -- began to play, a voice in the back of your head wondered if this is exactly what your mom had meant about finding ways to make your own fun. You felt as giddy as a child right now, so surely it was!

But the giddiness you felt as you'd listened to your personal playlist had been nothing when, the very next day, you'd received an email reply from DefSoul himself.

Hi Y/UN--

I'm hoping you heard that I read your message during my show last night. You mentioned that you hadn't missed an episode since you found my channel, so I think there is a good chance you did. In case you didn't, though, I'm including a link to the replay.

Thanks for sending in your request, and a huge thanks for listening and supporting my channel. It's hard to put into words how much it means to have people actually enjoy what I do. I know I'm lucky to have found my passion and get to do that for a living -- I hope you can find that, too, if that's what you want.

In all honesty, I don't usually reply to messages because I figure that creating a playlist is reply enough. But there was just something about your message that stuck with me. Sure, I've turned my passion into a career, but that doesn't mean I know the answer to all of life's questions. I still feel lost and meaningless, like you said. I really connected with your words, and your playlist feels pretty special to me. (I hope that's not weird.)

I guess I just wanted to reach out and assure you that you're not alone, not by far. And if you ever need someone to talk to and ponder what life is all about, I'm here.

-DefSoul

You couldn't quite believe this was happening. And, worst of all, you had no one to talk to about this! Your closest friends and family knew about your favorite daily livestream, but they didn't really know. Nobody else listened to it or truly understood how much it meant to you.

The fact that you had no one to tell this to didn't stop you from writing him back, though. And you did so almost immediately.

Hi!!!! 💜

OMG I'm sorry, but I have to be a fangirl for a second. (To steal your own words: I hope that's not weird.) I just love your show so much, and I was already so thrilled when you made a playlist for me. But getting your reply just now is definitely going to be the highlight of my month! Thank you so so so much for taking the time to read my message, put together a playlist for me, AND write me back.

All right, now that I've gotten that out of my system!

It really is comforting to know that someone who does what you do -- has a passion, shares it with other people, can earn a living from it, and seems to have it all together -- feels lost just like I do. I mean, it's not comforting because if YOU also feel lost, then is there any hope that we ever won't feel lost? But it's comforting simply because it means I'm not alone. And one thing about me (that you didn't ask for) is that I've never felt lonely in my entire life, but I sure am scared of being alone.

Does that make any sense?

Well, even if it doesn't, that's how I feel.

Is it okay if I completely pivot and ask a somewhat personal question? You can totally ignore this -- in fact, if it's too much, and you don't feel comfortable, just don't reply to me at all, and I will get the message! But how did music become your passion? How did you start Soul Tracks? As someone whose only ever thought about growing up and working in an office, I'm incredibly intrigued to hear about how people who do really cool things started their journey to do the really cool things.

Again, you don't have to answer that if you don't want. Just call it me pondering what life is all about.

-Y/UN

As soon as you clicked 'Send,' you regretted asking such a personal question. DefSoul had told you in no uncertain terms that he was here if you ever needed someone to talk to, but... still. There was a reason he used a pseudonym from his show. Maybe divulging more about that part of his life was taking it one step too far.

To your surprise, an email arrived in your inbox just a couple of hours later:

Y/UN --

Just wanted to let you know I saw your reply, and I'll get back to you soon. I want to take some time to answer your question thoughtfully (but truthfully, I promise). I didn't want you to think I was blowing you off. Honestly, it may take a few days.

-DefSoul

Of course, you hit 'reply' immediately.

Take your time! I completely understand. 💜

And then you had to take a seat and take a breath. Was this really happening? Were you becoming internet pen pals with the host of your favorite livestreaming music channel?

True to his word, DefSoul sent you another email a few days later. You'd been on tenterhooks for those few days -- barely able to concentrate on work and looking forward to Soul Tracks more than usual -- but as soon as you opened his email, you found the wait had been worth it. You were immediately faced with a wall of text, and it almost took your breath away that he'd felt comfortable opening up to you this much.

You read his email slowly and thoroughly... and then you read it again three more times, for good measure.

Long story short: DefSoul had worked in a music store as a teenager because he'd always loved listening to music, singing, writing songs, and he'd taught himself to play the guitar from a very young age. When it came time to start making his own money, he'd applied to his favorite music store in less than a heartbeat. The owner had been a former local musician who'd retired to become a shopkeeper. During the several years DefSoul had worked there, the owner (who had remained unnamed all throughout the email) had instilled into him the idea that music is not just music. It's so much more. It's a language that can connect people of any age, race, gender, and more. Anyone. It's a way to speak to people you've never met. It's about creating moments that resonate with people. And because the owner believed this so wholeheartedly, he developed a habit of creating mixtapes for customers.

You can see where this is going, right?

The first time DefSoul had ever followed in his boss/mentor's footsteps had been when one of his close friends went through a breakup. He hadn't known any other way to comfort her, so he'd made her a playlist with songs that could help her both release her sadness and heal from it.

After DefSoul went to University and, eventually, stopped working at the music store, he found himself in much the same position as yours currently: lost. He'd wanted to become a professional musician, but his career hadn't taken off, and he'd needed some way to pay the bills. After working a desk job for just a couple of months, he'd received a message from that friend out of the blue.

She had told him that she wasn't sure if she'd ever thanked him properly for the playlist he'd made for her. She'd been scrolling through her music library earlier that day, seen it, and the thought to reach out to him about it hadn't left her since. Apparently, the songs had been a huge help to her, and she'd been able to move on more quickly than she'd ever thought.

An idea had popped up in DefSoul's head almost immediately, and that very night, he had created his Soul Tracks channel.

The rest, as they say, is history.

At the very end of his email, he'd written this:

I know this was long, so I'm sorry if it was way more than you ever wanted to know. I've never actually told the whole story to anyone before. I think taking the time to write it all out was more for my sake than anything, so thank you for letting me do that.

Obviously, the invitation to spill all the details of your story is always open. I'm all ears.

-DefSoul

P.S. At risk of being too forward, I think maybe we've become pen pals? I'm up for it if you are.

But if you're not, pretend I never said that.

You knew that it would take a while to reply -- just as it had taken him a few days. But you knew at least one thing you wanted to say to him.

First things first: Hi, Pen Pal 😊

Part 2

[sturn-baby05]

You Belong With Me.

This is apart of my music Stories series!

I was sitting in kitchen, scrolling through the nonsense on my phone when, I heard a all too familiar voice from downstairs. Chris was arguing with his girlfreind over something he said...

She dosen't get your humor, like I do...

Now I'm in my room, listening to music she dosen't like... thinking about how she will never know his story like I do... I walked in the living room, Chris was sitting slumped on the couch, Matt was in the kitchen, elbows on the table watching his phone.

"Hey..." I said softly, just loud enough to get his attention. He locked his phone, showing full attention.

"Whats up Tay?" From the look on his face, he knew I was concerned. I pointed over to Chris's slumped form on the couch. "Have you checked on him...? He seems- sad..." Matt glanced over at Chris, watching fo r a moment.

"I haven't, but I'm sure he's okay." Matt coulnd't see it... it left an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I was nothing like his girlfriend... She wears short skirts, I wear tee shirts. She was cheer captain, and I was always on the bleachers.

When will you wake up and find that what you're, looking for has been here the whole time?...

I walked over to the couch, joining Chris but keeping my distance. Usually, I sit right beside him. But something about his demeanor said to give him space.

"You okay? You always sit by me..." He sounded almost dissapointed. I looked over at him surprised, I wasn't expecting him to speak. "Yeah, i'm okay. Your body language is giving off, 'i want to be left alone'... so I just figured i'd sit down here." I kept my attention twards him.

Silence fell between us, that's nothing new. We could sit in silence for hours, just enjoying each other's company. "Me and Lexi got into an argument..." He said softly, breaking the deafining silence. "Oh... I'm sorry Chris. I'm sure things will get better!" I tried to bring light to the situation...

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along so why can't you see?...

"If you wanna talk about it... i'm all ears. I'll do what I can to help you, and give my best advice." I didn't want him to be in this sad slump... He was too quiet, closed off... nothing like himself! "She's mad about something I said to her... I probably fucked up good this time." I turned to face him fully, my back resting against the arm of the couch, one knee pulled up to my chest while the other laid bent under me.

"We were in my room, she was 'watching' me play Fortnite, but I saw her on her phone instead... so I told her if she didn't wanna actually watch me she didn't have to, but if she wasn't, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to play so I actually had compoany. She got pissed that i'd even consider hanging out with you while she was here..."

You belong with me...

"She's mad now, but i'm sure she will forgive you sooner or later Chris... she always does!" I tried to make him feel better, even though I felt like there was a bridge about to be burnt between us. He slid down closer to me, something that was usaual for us. Sitting close, sharing blankets, talking into the early hours of the mornings... that was just- us.

This is how it ought to be... laughing in his bed thinking to myself, 'hey isn't this easy!'.

"Thanks Tay... But I don't think we can come back after that. She just ripped my ass over the phone for an hour over it... She umm-" He trailed off. "She told me if you were gonna be such an important part in my life she wasn't gonna be with me anymore..." Knife to the heart... I knew it was coming.

"Well... then I won't be." I said with a hard swallow. ignoring the stabbing feeling in my chest. "But that's just it... you have to be. You're my best friend, we've spent damn near our whole lives together, you are apart of my family... you can't just- not be..." I wans't worth losing his girlfriend over.

"Chris... I'm not worth losing your girlfriend over. You love her right?" He looked at me with an unsure expression, it made me tilt my head slightly to the side. "I mean- I do! But.. I don't know. It's complicated..." He sounded defeated, lost, broken?

"Let me make something clear. You've gotta smile that could light up this whole town..." I trailed off for a moment.

I haven't seen it in awhile, since she brought you down...

"She fell for you... well I don't really know her reason, BUT! If she loves you just as much as you do her... She'll work it out with you Chris. I promise she will..." It's funny how well i've learned to hide my hurt behind a mask. "I don't know... i'll be fine, whatever happens..."

I know you better then that... hey whatcha doing with a girl like that?

I went to my room that night, thinking about the friendship we've built over the years...

I'm the one who makes you laugh, when you know you're about to cry. And I know your favorite songs! And you tell me about your dreams! Think I know where you belong, think you know it's with me... I'm the one who understands you, i've been here all along. You belong with me! Have you ever thought just maybe...

"Fuck this!" I threw my blankets off and sprinted to Chris's room. I knocked on his door, anxiously waiting for him to respond or open his door. In force of anxious habit, I leaned against the wall, chewing on my nails. He opened his door, snapping me out of my anxious nail biting. I didn't even give him the chance to speak.

"Listen! We've gotta talk, because if we don't i'm gonna lose my fucking mind!" He stepped aside, I walked in and sat on his bed. I gestred for him to come join me.

"Lexi treats you like shit! I've seen it! And I can't fucking stand it! Please tell me, who do you come to when you're about to cry? And who knows all your favorite songs? And who do you tell your dream to? Because I know damn well it's not her!" His face said he was tired, shocked, and speechless... "Well- you... You know how to make me laugh, and besides my brothers, you're the only other person I trust with my dreams."

"Exactly! Do you see it yet...? Have you ever even thought 'just maybe'?! Come on... I cannot be the only crazy one here!" He looked lost in thought, like he was trying to piece together what I was trying to say. I stood up, feeling adrenaline, fear, anxiety... everything, go rushing through me like tidal waves. "God damnit!" I mutterd to myself. I was caught off guard when I felt a hand grad my shoulder and spin me around efforlessly. Then suddenly... My lips were caught in a kiss.

"I don't know how I didn't see it... I don't know why I never made a move on it... But I see it now, i do." I looked up at him with a mix of relief, shock, and well... the love I have for him.

"You Belong With Me..."

Hey guys! Sorry for the side story, I just had to write this before part 5 to "Brothers Best Friend"! I hope you guys enjoy this short story inspired by Taylor Swifts song "You Belong With Me"! Part 5 will be coming out hopefully later today. These past few weeks have been really rough and i'm finding it hard to stay in a good mind space to write... but i'm doing my best! I love you guys!

-Rose🧡

Tag List: @courta13 @sydlexi44 @wesj11 @vall67

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #22

Best of Wish

I enjoy Irep's grit-teethed remark when he mentions Anti-Fairies can't have godkids. He's just like his dad, for real, for real.

If he's this annoyed at the thought of Anti-Fairies not being allowed godkids, that kinda implies he wants one, which is interesting. Godkids were always one of Anti-Cosmo's interests, but never something Foop pursued on purpose or ever expressed interest in.

Please enjoy this cut Anti-Cosmo dialogue from an early script for "Fairly Oddlympics" that I think about constantly:

btw, there are a lot of funny deleted scenes in the old scripts that I love talking about, especially from this one, so if you find anything that catches your eye and post about it, you should @ me because I would enjoy reading your reactions <3

Plot twist - Irep is doing healthy things to work through his "scary godparent for Vicky" trauma while Peri's reaction to Vicky trauma was to cover his ears, hide behind his mom, and sing "La la la, la la la" to pretend she wasn't there.

Peri said his memories of childhood are blurry. I wonder if Irep remembers his childhood better since he was fully able to talk and comprehend things back then.

"Once a fairy quits, any magical being can take their place!"

I mean... Technically yes, but you used to have to sing for it. lol.

The Pixies, who are literally last in line for godkids below all other magical beings (including pegasi, bigfeet, and lake monsters), watching Irep stroll in like: ???

- which imo was implied to be a punishment for their race after H.P. was godparent to some unconfirmed kid I've been headcanoning was Dale for 7 years-

Actually, I like the implication that Irep was so fast to snipe Dev because he's been stalking them since he found out Peri was assigned a godkid.

Irep: Once a fairy quits, any magical being can take their place! Wanda: Peri didn't quit! He was waiting for you to call! Cosmo: He thought you two were on a break! Me: ... ?????? Peri was waiting for Irep to call and take him back? Run that by me again??

... I legitimately cannot tell if they're addressing Dev or Irep. Irep was the last person to speak, but Dev speaks next. Rewinding and listening to the conversation again, I can use my context clues to see they're probably looking at Dev (who is offscreen), but ?? why would you frame it that ambiguously.

Did anyone else get confused here or was that just me?

Also this has done nothing to disprove my previous "Peri is clingy especially where break-ups are concerned" interpretation.

I like how the very first wish Dev makes in this scene isn't for his dad to love him, but for Bev to love him.

How many kids in this class have names that rhyme with Dev and why is he so determined to befriend them all?

?? Okay, so I was previously confused about Dev's friendships because I was pretty sure I remembered him saying in Episode 1 that he and Trev were friends, but we haven't seen them interact at all. I went back and checked, and here's what he says:

"That's Trev! He's my bud, so he probably won't give YOU the time of day."

I wish we got to see him hanging out with Trev. Did they split after Trev didn't come to his sleepover?

- I just checked; I don't see any evidence of Trev at Hazel's. - Hey, did Winn and Jasmine ever find out Hazel lied to them about living in a 5-star hotel? - In conclusion, we are being ROBBED of the Trev-Dev-Bev friend squad.

Looking back, it's very funny that Dev made an effort to introduce Hazel to people when she was the new kid despite that not being his job... including giving some glowing reviews of a few of their classmates, including "This guy's my bud, this person's cool, and I respect this other guy." He wants to talk...

Also, moon is full in New York.

I keep waiting for Irep's music to drop again, but it never does in this scene. It's stressing me out; why did it only drop in THAT scene?

The version I'm watching unfortunately doesn't include credits and I can't find it after a few quick searches, but if Guy Moon did the music for this episode and remembered how he used to do it for Foop and his alt personality when they would do their switch cues 14 years ago, and so when he saw that body language he did it again, I'm gonna lose it.

Surely not... But he had to do it for at least 3 seasons; maybe it just stuck??

I don't see him credited for A New Wish at all on his own IMBD or Wiki page either. idk who did this episode, but I liked it. Hi, I'm the target audience; it's me.

And Irep's still a leftie! Even after putting both hands on the mace handle to smash it down, it goes back to his left when he takes one hand off.

He even does the "sword fight" with his left hand. It's the boy!!!

?? Is Irep's hair both blue (like both his parents') AND black (the color his tuft was in the OG series)?

Are his roots black, but the color eases to dark blue the farther out it grows? That's fantastic!

I like how Peri's hair looks most like his mom's but with a faint slope implying his dad's influence is there, and Irep's hair best parallels his dad's, but he gets his curl from his mom.

Huh. Looks like we've retired the 5 magic colors and now we're just pink poofs and dark blue lightning. Which I'm okay with; I just wasn't paying attention until now. But I know lightning-shaped Anti-Fairy magic was canon in "School of Crock," maybe others.

This does deprive me of my usual 2nd-watch shtick of reading moods based on color. Alas.

I enjoy Hazel rescuing the news reporter, but letting her know that she's a big fan of her work.

Okay, Irep uses his right hand at the last second, but I consider this a win.

I went back and checked frame by frame because I'm a NERD, and funnily enough... It looks like he changes hands after Cosmo blasts him in the left arm. It's hard to tell with the poof cloud, but when you consider the direction he moved (buffeted backwards), that implies it was a left-side hit. It's probably just coincidence, but that's funny.

I like Dev's silly star shades during this scene:

Peri's back!! Old buddies, ol' counterpart pals... I love that teeny-tiny movement Peri makes with his fingers to symbolize air quotes around "quit."

"I never gave two weeks notice~!!"

Also, this definitely belongs in my collection of counterparts using the same body language for opposite moods. idk if we'll see more of that, but it excites me that my stash grows!

I like Peri patting Dev on the head.

"He's still my godkid! :)"

Ooh, snap. Local cousins (once removed) are here to lay down Da Rules, as von Strangles do.

Aw, I like how undoing Dev's cheating means Hazel ends up with the prize shirt. I guess that makes sense; it just wouldn't have been my first thought.

I'm glad adult Irep makes squeaky sounds when you squeeze him. I seem to remember OG Poof making squeaky sounds when he bounced off walls.

Aw, Peri having a happy hug with his parents again! Instead of him feeling like they're overbearing. That's great.

Peri once again proving he's a jealous, clingy ex. I don't think this kid was okay when he was pried away from Timmy and I don't think he took his parents' leaving him on his own for 10k years very well.

I really enjoy Peri's body language throughout this series. All his little twitches and arm rubs and flicking eyes... It says a million words. You could talk forever about him.

I enjoy Dev and Hazel a lot this series, but I think Peri's my favorite. With all his little anxieties and moments he avoids eye contact, you really get the sense that he's working through a lot of baggage.

I like how his instinct was to be honest with his parents and then he immediately regrets it and closes off his body language, avoiding eye contact. He retracts what he said and says something else that he thinks makes him look better. He's got a lot going on.

The fact that he makes this big, decisive head nod as he changes his story to claim he wasn't "jealously spying on Dev" after quitting as his godparent, but he was instead "very normally and confidently passing by" is fantastic. That's... not how people talk in normal conversation, Peri. But I'm glad you're telling me you struggle with confidence issues.

- I think everything I've seen of you supports that. You've been the biggest anxiety ball ever since you got here. - Peri is the guy who'd be on edge wondering if he did something to make everyone mad.

It took me forever to get the above screenshots so I had to keep rewinding, and I have to say... I'm obsessed with that itty-bitty head tilt he does to the left before he goes full right. Idk why it's there, but I like it. It's like a shrug, or like he's thinking through his lie? I enjoy.

Also that teeny-tiny head squirm when he's enjoying the hug with his parents. He's so cute.

Okay, that's pretty messed-up of Peri to laugh with his parents while Dev is in the background really upset. Like, Peri is literally talking about Dev behind his back

-> I wish they'd snuck hints of purple in the background to indicate Peri was there, like a milk carton or pencil or something.

-> I stand by everything I've previously said about Peri not being emotionally mature enough to godparent. His kid needs comfort after a tough experience! Dev just got snapped at and punished by authority and now he's sitting on the ground looking dejected, and Peri's over there giggling!

-> C'mon, man! Hazel clocked on and she's trying to do your job for you. She shouldn't have to do that! (Though it's nice of her to try comforting her friend).

Oop, Dev just yelled at Hazel (again) and Peri did not discourage or discipline him in any way, and tbh... I don't think he even noticed. Because he was laughing and talking about his godkid with his parents. Dude, get your crown in the game.

I love Hazel throwing her prize shirt in Dev's face and shouting that she "hopes it was worth it" <3

I still don't know how to spell O-pairs and at this point, I'm too afraid to ask.

omg, Dev wants to learn about Anti-Fairies. Are we going to get lore and culture? Drama...

PERI, your godkid's running away!! Oh no, he can't hear us... he's got anxiety...

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Actually, one of the first things I thought of when learning that Liam had passed away was that he was Nora’s favorite. Liam to me was never the most interesting member of all the 1D lads but the way Nora talked about him on every single album had me appreciating him way more. I do think some of his qualities, both musically and personally, were a bit overlooked during the band.

This makes me want to relisten to the 1D related Every Single Album episodes anon.

I've just finished listening to the latest Every Single Album, and I enjoyed hearing more of Nora's perspective. I liked how expansive they were with what they talked about, the way that they emphasised the importance of 1D culturally and musically, and that they started by putting it in the context of fame.

As always it gives a sense of how differently people understand celebrities. I really want to interrogate Nathan about the idea that it's Taylor Swift's work ethic saved her. I think there might actually be an argument there (which is bascially - the fact that she always needed to work meant she always had people with her, and the hardest part of fame is the isolation from others in time), but it reminded me how easy it is to draw obviously untrue causation lines from success to wellbeing. When they basically asked 'is Harry Styles too dumb to be fucked up by fame?' I thought 'here are people who are less obsessed with what Harry has said to and about his therapist than I am.

*********

I'm going to articulate something that has been rolling round my brain, and which I haven't said yet. She mentioned again the clip about being locked in their rooms. Each time I've heard it, I've thought how much I think fans missed the point when they use that as proof of the evil of management. And I do think it's important to talk about the way the music industry is profiting is suffering in that example.

But by focusing on (or pretending to focus on) and literalising the quote (I've never been in a hotel room that you can lock people into). Fans miss the point - what was it that 1D was being protected from? Why couldn't they just go outside? How could 1D have been kept both safe and free while touring?

There seems within fandom a real unwillingness to look at the fact that was our actions that did harm. I'm sure the decisions by people with power did harm. It may not fully be that Eric Andre meme, but there is an element of it. Fans damaged Liam. Fans trapped him in his room with just a minibar. The damage was a result of aspects that were central to what fans love - they weren't avoidable just if better people were in charge.

I sometimes think that fandom's rush to blame someone is a way of avoiding the role we played.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

so the first i heard of les mis was, very inexplicably, one late night where i, having never used spotify, and using the free version, was trying to play god knows what song, but instead (thanks fuckass free spotify, except actually i guess?) i got empty chairs at empty tables (movie version). i looooooooved it. so i went and listened to the whole musical. watched the movie. listened to the original cast albums. 25th anniversary album. etc etc. eventually at the ripe age of 12 probably, i got myself a little gray brick. i didn't actually read it until i was 14, and i am humbly and honestly going to say that most of that went over my head. i read it once and i knew nothing about anything.

i don't feel like i know much more of anything, and i still haven't fully read the brick all the way through, but i've read fantine a few times, and seen other people's analyses and thoughts over the years. quite honestly, i feel a bit dumb in this fandom sometimes. i am not very active. i am not a brain in this. i don't add much, but i am content to sit back and enjoy the art, read other's thoughts and historical findings, and it's all very interesting and it feels cozy.

les mis was there for me in some of the worst parts of my life, and i didn't realize that til now. i haven't been rereading les mis this year, though i will inevitably try again, and get through a little more than last time. i decided a while ago that this brick is a lifelong enjoyment and endeavor of mine. i doubt i'll ever have anything new to add to the ~200 year conversation, but who cares?

les mis fandom, i am giving you all a big hug. this is our thing we love. and we all show that love in different ways. and that so many people have loved this book throughout many generations makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. this fucking book. man. i love you guys!

[batcadillac]

Apparently I haven't introduced you guys to Riptide yet?? (Ofcourse I have like 25 OCs and haven't posted shit about most of them)

I'm not fully happy about the drawing but I am about his design.

More info about him underneath the cut.

**Ghoul information Card**

**General information**

Name: Riptide aka Rip

Pronouns: He/Him

Species: Ghoul

Element: Water

Sexuality: Demi/Pan

Period of arrival at Abbey: End Papa IV

Age: 178

Birthday: June 29

Zodiac: Cancer

Nationality/Origin: Australia

Part of the Pit: 2nd circle.

Languages/accents: Australian, Ghoulish, Infernal

Believes/religion: Satanist and worshipper of Leviathan

Occupation: Cook

Hobbies: Cooking, Fishing (specially catfish), Listening to music, playing electric guitar, games (from poker to videogames), swimming, going to the gym once in a while.

Specific Elemental powers: Fast swimmer, can hold water in his stomach and spit it out with quite a bit of force (waterblast), Camouflage himself, Can lure fish, Can communicate a little bit with large water mammals and sharks. Can stay underwater for unlimited time (2 sets of lungs)

Special abilities/skills: 2nd row of teeth (are slightly smaller than his front ones so not visible when he smiles, but are sharper to hold on prey)

Music taste: Death core, heavy metal, death metal, anything that sounds good to him.

Favourite food: Sushi, pokebowls and chicken parmi

Favourite drinks: Ginger beer and any soda really. (he enjoys the frizzy texture)

**Appearance**

Height: 193m

Hair color: Black and blue

Eye color: Blue and red

Skin color: Dark grey/black and white/light grey.

Spade shape: (still to be designed, but probably a bigger/thicker tail)

Special features: Fins on his arms, back (can fold down and are flexible), legs and ears. His "goatie" is also a fin.

Scars/marks: Scars on his arms from protecting his half sibling in the pit during a moon event.

Tattoo/Piercings/body mods: Septum, snakebites, tragus (both ears)

Accommodations/medical equipment: His skin/scales needs to be hydrated often or it cracks (doesn't have a mucus layer like it should), so carries a lotion, sunscreen and water bottle with him at work or if he goes out. His skin and scales are sensitive in general and can start to flake if not taken care off.

Scent: cocoa butter, coconut oil and a hint of jasmine

Clothing style: All his clothes are mostly black and wears bandshirts mostly.

Voiceclaim: nats whats i reckon

Other: He looks intimidating but is actually a cinnamon roll. Loves making people happy with his food, very protective.

[fitgirlfemdom]

whats your favorite nine inch nails album

The Downward Spiral is not only my favorite NIN album, but my favorite music project of all time. I've listened to it cover-to-cover probably a couple dozen times over the past few years. The storytelling, the songwriting, the instrumentals, the backstory to each track, the fact Trent Reznor got sent to court for it, the music videos, everything--I love that album so much. I wish Hurt wasn't such a meme song because I honestly think it fully encapsulates the post-suicide regret that many people experience after surviving. My favorite tracks on it are Ruiner, Mr. Self Destruct, Hurt, and I Do Not Want This, but I can't skip any tracks. It's probably the only album I've listened to where EVERY song is a hit, even the more subdued/abstract tracts like A Warm Place or the title track.

With Teeth is an incredibly important album to me--it's what I listened to after my OD, and also leading up to my OD. I remember I was having a seizure at a get-together after doing something, and my friend asked what album I should put on to calm me down after, and I said groggily, "With Teeth, Nine Inch Nails." My final OD before I got sober, I listened to With Teeth in the hospital, and realized I couldn't keep putting my body, my family, and my friends through it, and I went stone-cold sober. That was back in 2022. I'm planning on getting the With Teeth logo text tattooed on my wrist sometime, because the title track would always play in my head whenever I was offered anything else.

I enjoy Pretty Hate Machine, but I haven't listened to it as frequently as TDS, mainly because it's more new-wave/synth heavy and that just isn't my vibe. Certain tracks, though, like Sin or Something I Can Never Have are still in my constant rotation. Other tracks, though, like Sanctified are unlistenable for me. PHM was my first CD for my car, and while my mom was teaching me how to drive, Sanctified came on--"If she says 'come inside' / I'll come inside for her"--and I could never listen to the song the same. Down In It was one of my first NIN tracks, so it has a special place in my heart, even if it's directly ripped from a Skinny Puppy song. The Fragile has some of Trent's best tracks, but it's such a bloated record with so many filler tracks, I wish it was split up into two projects (especially since some songs like Starfuckers make no sense on the project). I don't think I've ever listened to The Fragile all the way through, because I can only take Trent's ambient droning for so long.

The post WT stuff, like Year Zero and The Slip, haven't garnered that much of my attention. Of course, certain songs like Discipline are unavoidable, but I was much more interested in the lore and mystery of Year Zero than the actual music. Some songs on Hesitation Marks still hit, like All Time Low, Copy of A, and Came Back Haunted. All in all, though, I hold the pretty common belief that after Trent got clean, his focus drifted more to his family and writing scores for films, which I support a lot more than his current NIN projects. The Soul soundtrack is fantastic, and I'm glad Trent wasn't one of those 90s male idols that died young, and if that means I gotta listen to his saxophone solos on his new albums, then so be it.

Also, thank you for asking me a question outside of fetish-content. It's nice to know people see me as human.

[tumblydovereviews]

Hamilton: Why it Worked

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your king, George III. Welcome, to Hamilton."

I've been in a Hamiton funk lately. In fact, while writing this post I was actually watching the Disney+ recording of the musical!

It's not just because today is the Fourth of July and Alexander Hamilton ultimately played a major role in helping America become what it is today. It's not just because Moana 2 is dropping in a couple of months, which Lin Manuel-Miranda won't be a part of, and I'm coping by listening to his music and work. I've always been a Hamilton fan, and while I haven't had the time nor the money to actually go out and see it myself, I have enjoyed it via listening to the soundtrack, reading the giant book I have on it, and generally appreciating the work itself.

A concept like Hamilton was fairly unique at the time of it coming out- after all, who has ever heard of an idea as abnormal as a sung-and-rapped musical about one of the Founding Fathers? In a way, though, Alexander Hamilton himself held many characteristics of a perfect protagonist for a show with this concept; he was restless, impulsive, and always moving, just as the show is paced to be. Lin Manuel-Miranda got the idea for the entire musical by reading a Hamilton biography. He was inspired by Hamilton's personality and compared it to that of a rapper; namely, Tupac Shakur, joining the past and the present together to form a new creation.

Any great musical would need to be propelled by music totally, and Hamilton is no exception; in fact, the musical holds a unique advantage over other generic shows- as mentioned before, it's a sung-and-rapped through musical. The majority, if not all, of the show is sung-through. Not only does this allow for a unique point-of-view inside of the personal issues of the characters, but it also allows the musical to be highly accessible. As I mentioned before, I haven't actually watched Hamilton in-person; my main way of consuming Hamilton media is by 'watching' the musical via its array of songs. Unlike other musicals, I didn't need to worry about gaps in the narrative not being able to be sealed by dialogue or body language.

And, speaking of the songs, they're great as well! In a variety of genres, such as rap, jazz, and pop, there's a Hamilton song for everyone, really. Lin, Leslie, Renee, and the rest of the class are amazing singers, and the orchestra and sound department also aids in elevating the play's most dramatic moments. Some are my personal favorites are the opening song, Alexander Hamilton, What'd I Miss, You'll be Back, and The Schuyler Sisters.

But, perhaps the main factor in the wide appeal of Hamilton was how well the writing and casting managed to humanize people that seemed so far away from our time, people who we'd usually think as being foreign to our modern-day issues. The cast of Hamilton are diverse in race, ranging from Hispanic to Black to Asian, and are given personalities that can relate to what people nowadays are like. Hamilton is ambitious and prideful, while Burr is more introverted but vengeful to a fault. Instead of random historical names, the two men, and all of the other characters in the play, become real. There's a reason that people of all ages, from young teenagers to fully-grown adults, have all managed to grow captivated by these characters. They are human. They are us. Hamilton is us.

And, ultimately, this is why Hamilton has become such a big success, in my opinion. Hamilton works because it doesn't just act as a play; instead, think of it as a river, using music, characters, and comedy to connect two oceans together- the past and the present. What started off as a random idea that was scorned down upon by others has ultimately become a global phenomenon, and with the feats mentioned above, it's no wonder that Hamilton managed to become such a success both on and off Broadway. To this day, the play still sells out tickets regularly, and is viewed, listened, and acted to by millions all around not just the USA, but the entire globe.

So, this fourth of July, you don't need to bolt out the national anthem while wearing red, white, and blue and bursting out oodles of fireworks everywhere you go. Instead, if you have the ability to, I'd highly recommend watching or listening to the soundtrack of Hamilton. Because, no matter the holiday or the country you lie in, there's something for everyone in this musical.

[notetaeker]

Hello!!! How did you become so dedicated to your studies? Do you have some advice?

I love your blog, btw✨️

Hi hi hi!! Thanks for the sweet message 💞💞

My BIG study tips (after 25 years of studying):

Accept your fate. This goes for anything but I used to procrastinate with studying a LOT and once you start it's actually not that bad. It's guaranteed. Automatically once you start, you have started, so you're already on your way, so it's already automatically not as bad anymore. Whining abt ur studies and avoiding them will not make them go away unfortunately. Just do it.

Make study time sacred. A few minutes of focused study is much more valuable than 5 hours spent at the library "studying" + scrolling + talking to friends + listening to music at the same time. Doing 5 hours like that is literally putting yourself thru hell because 1. you cant fully enjoy any of those non-studying activities and 2. you come out of that being like ugh I studied this page for 5 hours I'm tired of studying I need a break. Pomodoro method really changed my life pls try it out if u haven't already

That one tumblr post that says 'learning is basically being exposed to the same materials many times in multiple ways' is 100% correct. How many different ways can you expose yourself to the material. Memorizing facts- can you draw it? Can you organize the facts into lists? Can you attach a funny story to one of the facts? The more ways you interact with any material, the stronger it's saved in your memory. Find out if you're a visual learner- and then create visual tools, maybe color coding things helps you. Do a little digging and find out what works for you.

Diversify your life. Have some hobbies, spend time with friends/family, take a break. Let the computer of your brain sort out things in the background while you do other things. Once you go back to studying, you will feel refreshed (and not fatigued from 5 hrs in the library doing "studying") This also means that if you fail an exam, you won't be like 'oh no i spent my whole spring break studying for this exam and didn't even enjoy it and now I got a bad grade i must be horrible my life is nothing' and spiral. def not based on a true story :) Instead you'll be like yeah I failed but look at this scarf I crocheted look at mee i have mental health!

Sleep is magic- no matter what anyone else tries to tell you. 1. If you studied something during the day, just review those things right before bed and magically they will get set into your brain. Also 2. sleeping is when our brain sorts info so if you don't get any sleep at all it' the same as taking your study sheets and throwing them into the air, so when you ask your brain for the info during the test it's like lol it's around here somewhere. On the other hand, if you slept and gave ur brain time to sort it, when you ask for that info, it'll just open the right drawer and give u the info!

That's it for the big ones- if you want more specific advice feel free to ask! Also as a disclaimer, these 5 are all big life lessons that I had to learn thru trial and error, so consider these to be the advice I would give myself at a younger age. Pls don't be offended lol whenever I said 'you' I rlly was thinking abt myself.

[prettyb0ycvnt]

Good evening pretty boy! I know you've had a busy day AND felt sleepy but I hope your day has gone smoothly and nicely! I bet you have done soooo good today! Just being the good boy that you always are 💕

Trying to keep that kind of pace would be dangerous! Better to just have it on as a vibe Y'know? Nothing wrong with having a jam while you get your guts rearranged afterall 😉😋

I need to get into listening to more System of a Down and more music in general! It sounds like you have quite the treasury of CDs that will be growing! Feel free to ramble by the way, hearing about people's passions or interests is awesome! 😁💕

And valentine's is a harsh mistress, I can't believe YOU don't have a valentine! That's absolutely crazy! I thought you'd have people flocking to you to be your valentine! 😲 And yep, I am used to it, but it sucks haha. Better to just carry on my way and hope that I don't encounter too many happy couples 🤣 it's a Friday, so I'm just focusing on the fact that it's shoulder day at the gym! 🤣

Talking to you like this is very fun! 💕 I hope you have a wonderful evening and had a wonderful day! 🥰 I look forward to your reply to the more freaky ask, see how you get back with your shenanigans 😘💕

HI!!! good eveninggg <3 it's night time now actually but whatever... today has been wonderful!! djnfjdjghh yes yeahhh i have been sooo so good ,, as usual :33 !! ♡

you're sooo right ☆ would be the best vibes Ever tbh... if not a little eccentric but who cares about that! it's fun!! i'd just have to hope i dont get distracted by the music 😭 !! like Yeass... that feels so good But can you stop for a second please. My favourite part of the song is coming up 💜 that sounds like something i would do ... whoopsies...!

omg... twirls hair it's my time to Shine!!! i loooove music so much omg my spotify is a heavenly place.... i think my music taste is quite varied too!! in terms of system of a down i really reaaally love the entirety of toxicity... i haven't listened to their other albums fully, just as songs here and there, and personal favourites include violent pornography, kill rock 'n' roll, suite-pee, war?, and holy mountains among others!! i need to fully immerse myself in their discography but they're awesome .... slipknot and avenged sevenfold are in the same vein!!! also getting into megadeth because of my irl... so a lot of metal >_< !! my favourite genres are alt rock, midwest emo, grunge, riot grrrl, stuff like that!!! you can pry radiohead out of my cold dead hands....

lately ive been on a car seat headrest kick i swear to god they're all ive been listening to for the past month i LOVE car seat headrest!!!! ive listened to like 80% of their discography in full and Ouughhhh.... they drive me so so soooo insane... i would choose personal favourites but honestly i love them all soooo ill just list some of my faves from the albums ive listened to !!! this is gonna be a long list i hope you don't mind <33

teens of denial

- fill in the blank

- drunk drivers/killer whales

- 1937 state park

- cosmic hero

- THE BALLAD OF THE COSTA CONCORDIA!!!!!!

how to leave town

- the ending of dramamine (!!!!!) (one of my fave csh songs ever i love it so much especially the bridge)

- i want you to know that im awake/i hope that you're asleep (ALSO ONE OF MY FAVES EVER it drives me so fuckign crazy)

- beast monster thing (love isn't love enough)

- you're in love with me

living while starving

honestly this ep is really short so basically all of it??? but in particular

- it's only sex (i die every time I listen)

- i hate living (OUUGHHH....)

- reuse the cels

monomania

- souls (my no.2 song this month!!!!!)

- anchorite (love you very much)

- overexposed (enjoy)

- sleeping with strangers

- los borrachos (i don't have any hope left but the weather is nice)

making a door less open

- can't cool me down

- deadlines (hostile)

- life worth missing

- hollywood

twin fantasy (face to face)

- beach life-in-death

- nervous young inhumans

- bodys

- high to death

- famous prophets (stars)

there's a lot more...!! i have about 60-something of their songs liked on Spotify but i can't list all 60-something >_< !! i really do love them a lot i hope that if you listen you like them too <3 we haven't even scratched the surface of the other artists i like umm... ill just list my current faves !!

aiden's fave artists (some of them!)

☆ car seat headrest

☆ the smiths

☆ mccafferty

☆ the front bottoms

☆ system of a down

☆ modern baseball

☆ sohodolls (!!! gotten super into them lately their music is SOOO cunty I LOVE IT)

☆ my chemical romance

☆ nirvana

☆ radiohead

☆ hole

☆ bikini kill

☆ jack off jill

☆ angelina mango (my Italian queen i love her sm that i memorised a couple of her songs... in Italian...)

honestly i might be better off linking my spotify helpp ummm!! here... ^_^ !! i have a couple public playlists! the big one is 'do yuo have any ibyprofen' and that's got all my faves in it :3 !!

okay. music ramble Over!! for the time being!!! i love yapping they call me yappatron3000 or something . ♡

aiden update he does have a valentine now! kind of. not really. its my best friend 😭 asked her "heyyy wanna be my valentine" nd she says Of Course Darling! so ya there's that xx she has a girlfriend so she's got an actual proper valentine that isn't just me but it's better than nothing :3 !!! love her to bits so its all good... also YEAS gym woooo 🔥🔥 !! get those gains 💪! for me on fridays i have drama club after school so that's what ill be focusing on...!!

i hope you've had a wonderful day today <33 writing out this message has been rhe highlight for me so far genuinely its soooo fun hehe ^_^ !! about to get even better im about to respond to your other ask.. so you can look forward to that too >_< ☆ !!

[lemurzsquad]

Music to Owl Ears (Ch 1)

Ch 1: Jogging Laps

Pairing: Bokuto x musician fem!reader

Summary: After being knocked over, your morning is hijacked by the pair of students responsible, and your mind is jogging laps trying to figure out one question: What in the world just happened?

A/N: I have once again been dragged along by my own story, I have no control of what happens lol

In all seriousness tho, I was not expecting some of this stuff to happen right off the bat, but we're going with it. Also, this is NOT going to be a love triangle---Akaashi is a very important character, but I am not adding him to the romance problems TvT he just got a surprising amount of attention this chapter

I hope you enjoy!! And please read the prologue if you haven't! (It's essentially the actual Ch 1 lol)

Word count: 1510

cw: overthinking, some jealousy, rambling

"Bold for English"

"Not bold for Japanese"

- Masterlist -

< Prologue | Ch 1: Jogging Laps | Ch 2: Lunch Break >

Your first day of school turned out… interesting, to say the least. Chaotic may have been a better word—maybe hectic. Or perhaps unexpected and eventful were more accurate. Confusing? Not quite, save for the lingering question of how you got to this point in the back of your mind.

You found yourself at your assigned desk, running through English synonyms for your experiences that day and trying to think of Japanese synonyms in the process. Your teacher was running through class expectations for the year that you only vaguely listened to but never fully locked your attention on. It wasn't intentional; your mind was simply jogging laps to process what had happened that morning.

You recalled the course of events once more, attempting to grasp some sort of understanding of the question that ran through your head over and over: What in the world just happened?

After you had been pulled to your feet, eyes wide and taken aback, you finally got a good look at the person who you assumed had knocked you over—and you could immediately tell how that happened. He towered over you, still holding on and moving you around slightly to inspect for any signs of injury. From the way he had picked you up with such ease, you gathered he was pretty well built under his partially disheveled uniform. His hair was two-toned in black and silver and slicked back into what you would describe as spiky owl ears—the thought almost made you chuckle, but you kept it to yourself.

You glanced over to the left in the direction of his friend. His stature was not quite as tall or nearly as visibly brawny, and he was much more put together. He gave you a very brief look of sympathy and apology that you barely caught before your eyes turned back.

The one still holding you by the shoulders finally spoke a coherent, complete sentence that wasn't some broken variation of “Are you okay? I'm so sorry!” When he deduced you had not sustained any wounds due to his carelessness, he said, “I'm so stupid, I'm sorry. Glad you're not hurt, though!” He gave you a grin, one that was somewhere between sheepish, apologetic, and lighthearted.

“I told you, you should have been paying attention,” his black-haired friend interjected dryly. “You might want to let her go, though.”

Something seemed to click beneath his owl ears that reminded him he was still clinging to you. He pulled his hands back finally, chuckling as he scratched the back of his head. You smiled and sniffled whatever remains of your previous tears were left.

“It's no worries,” you reassured. “I should have been paying attention, too, but I didn't know where I was going.”

“Oh, are you new? A transfer student, maybe?” The shorter of the two asked while his companion went to pick up your bag and hand it back to you.

“Was it that obvious?” You joked, brushing off the remaining dust, pebbles, and strays bits of grass from your uniform. You tried your best to straighten out your outfit—the first uniform you'd ever had to wear to school before—before slinging your bag back over your shoulder and across your body.

The one to the left tilted his head slightly, replying, “Well, you were speaking English earlier, so I just took a guess.”

“And you have a strong accent,” his friend interrupted. He grinned brightly and held out his hand, unexpectedly blurting out, “I'm Bokuto Koutarou, by the way!”

You probably would have shook his hand if you didn't get distracted by your own thoughts. “Bokuto's your… surname, right? Last name, first name, I think. Sorry, I haven't met many people since I got here even though it's been a couple weeks,” you rambled. “Also, sorry if I get anything wrong, I'm kind of new to this whole ‘being in Japan’ thing.” You gesture with your hands as you speak, using your fingers as quotation marks near the end.

Bokuto laughed lightheartedly, and his friend almost joined him. “Don't worry, you are doing okay,” he said—to your surprise—in English. It was a bit stiff, but you could understand it just fine—it was about as good as your Japanese. You turned to him, the faucet of your thoughts running out of your mouth quickly closed, and your jaw hung open. “My name is Akaashi Keiji. You can just call me Akaashi,” he added.

For some reason, his words seemed to hit you right in the chest. Maybe it was because he went through the effort to say them in your own language, or maybe it was because you were still emotional and unsure of how living in Japan would go. A couple of subtle deep breaths were enough to stop the tears threatening to well.

“My name is Y/n– I mean, L/n Y/n,” you replied, making sure to correct yourself. “Please just call me Y/n, I'd feel weird being called by my last name.” You held out your hand with a hopeful smile, shaking their hands in turn. I have no idea why I just did that, you thought in reference to the handshake. That felt way too formal.

You shook your head softly at your own thoughts before continuing, “It's nice to meet you, Akaashi and… Bokuto.” You took a guess in calling him that, not entirely sure which name to use. You were already uncertain if you were being impolite, but the wide grin you got in return told you it was fine.

The whole situation went by in a blur to the point you almost had to ignore your own awkwardness, finding yourself just trying to form sentences. It somehow made you both anxious and relieved by having to focus solely on the conversation. There was no time to think about how or why the conversation was happening in the first place.

You briefly pulled out your phone, and your heart leapt in your chest when you saw the time. School would be starting in seven minutes. “Oh no, I have no idea how to get to class—” You looked between Bokuto and Akaashi, the panic of unfamiliarity rising in you once again.

When you asked if they knew the way when you mentioned your class, Bokuto piped up, “That's on the way to my class! You should totally come with me, I can show you where it is!” Before you could give any sort of answer, grabbed you by the arm and started to almost race into the building.

You had just enough time to wave at Akaashi and for him to see the flustered, stunned look on your face. He shook his head, putting his hands in his pockets and heading to class at a much more leisurely pace—he didn't bother trying to catch up. He had the sneaking suspicion that this year was about to be a very entertaining one.

Bokuto had dragged you a good while before you had managed to get him to slow down, saying you couldn't tell where you were going and needed to commit it to memory. Eventually, you had made it to your class. You found it odd that the classroom was just open with no teacher inside. You had glanced around, confused, but didn't bother asking about it.

In the time it took to get to where you needed to go, it was evident that Bokuto was fairly popular. He had loudly greeted people along the way with a shining smile and enthusiastic waves.

A feeling started to eat away at you—a guilty emotion that brewed of envy, discomfort, and something else you couldn't quite place. You were grateful that he had shown you around, but a nagging in your mind told you it was just to make up for his first impression. And seeing him so carefree and able to talk to people so casually made you infinitely more aware of your standing. The realization that he may have been that comfortable due to years of enrollment at the school didn't make you feel any better.

You now sat at the back of the class, running through the busy morning once more. You wondered mindlessly if you would ever run into Akaashi and Bokuto again as you listened to your teacher. You hadn't greeted anyone or introduced yourself; you knew you should have if you wanted to make friends, but the thought alone made you start to feel nervous.

It was too early to be coming to the conclusion that, in reality, you knew you weren't going to go out of your way to make friends, but you couldn't help it.

The bell that signaled lunch rang just out of your current sphere of focus.

And just as you started to get fully immersed into your spiraling reasoning and excuses, jogging laps in your mind with an ever-increasing speed, a voice pierced through your protective, self-destructive bubble, loud and clear.

“HEY, HEY, HEY!! Y/N!”

It would seem that you didn't have a choice on that friendship front.

Thank you for reading!! <333

- Masterlist -

< Prologue | Ch 1: Jogging Laps | Ch 2: Lunch Break >

Do not copy and/or repost!! Any likes, comments, or reblogs are appreciated, though! (c) 2024 LemurzSquad

[lost-in-termina]

Just venting--

I'm navigating a lot of heavy feelings, the strongest being anxiety right now. A lot has happened over the past few months, and maybe it's all catching up to me - losing someone to cancern, my job changing, moving into a new place, not to mention trying to navigate impacts of the current administration.

It's easy for my therapist-oriented brain to understand what's happening and note coping mechanisms. But actually feeling better is entirely different.

For starters, I'm realizing I just do not feel comfortable in my new apartment, at all. Maybe I'm navigating relocation depression - I was in my old complex for almost a decade. This is a big change, even if it was positive. The hardest part has been the new sounds - hardwood floors, being on the first level, the upstairs neighbors having kids who make loud thudding noises when they play, the anxiety of being confronted by said neighbors when I voiced a noise complaint... Another part of this anxiety is around my PTSD - are the sounds really that bad? Is it in my head? My partner seems fine - they often wear headphones so don't react the same way I do. But even with my headphones in, my white noise machine on, background music playing, I can still hear and feel the sounds and it irritates me so badly. Last night I have an anxiety attack and my anxiety is still high. I haven't been able to sleep. I feel safer and more comfortable in my office at work. So then I'm wondering if an added aspect is my ongoing response to the active shooting I survived at work last year - office didn't feel safe for a while but home did. And now I have a new home, with loud sounds, and I'm not settled in yet.

I genuinely want to see a therapist, but I keep facing barriers to finding one and it's taking forever. Trying to work around my benefits has truly been a headache. Work has been extra demanding, and all I want to do is go home and rest but I can't. I feel greedy because I do have a nice place, yet I can't enjoy it. I feel regret for promising my partner that a first floor unit would work, when it doesn't seem like it is. Everything else about the place is wonderful - the layout, the neighborhood... so why am I not happy? I've been feeling depressed, to the point of intrusive thoughts, and it has been exhausting. I've been having a hard time eating, too.

I've been going to the office an hour early so I have an hour to myself to listen to relaxing videos and read. That has been really nice, and has made me happy. This weekend we will be hanging up some decorations at home, and I'm hoping covering the walls some helps to absorb some of the noise. I'm also wondering if I will still feel like this if the noise was to go down, or if there's more to it. I haven't fully processed that death, the work changes... even the shooting from last year. I have a lot to unpack, which feels overhwhelming in its own right. It's nice to be able to vent here, even if no one reads all of this. I'm hoping I can get connected to some mental healthcare soon.

[guardians-of-exo]

Was tagged by @xiuhunsoo and @baekhyunsbestie to do two different "get to know me tags" and I think I'm going to combine them ❤️

Last song: Listening to music rn as I'm going through the last (many) tages games I haven't gotten around to do - currently listening to Drunk-Dazed by Enhypen

Favorite color: Blue / Pink / Black

Last book: Currently reading Madame Fourcade's Secret War

Last movie: I think it was Cloud Atlas? A friend recommended it. A really interesting movie

Last tv show: Does kdramas count? If so, Potato Lab

Sweet/spicy/savory: I usually go for savory, but do have a sweet tooth

Last thing i searched for online: The teaser pics for my Minseok birthday post

Current obsession: Probably the diamond painting I bought of the Roshar world map (Stormlight Archive Series)

Looking forward to: Saturday where I have time to actually relax and do fuck all the whole day

What's the origin of your username?: A friend and I created this blog way back in 2017 together, and we decided on this because we wanted to be fans who stood by EXO no matter what

OTP(s) + shipname: Haven't really been into fanfic and stuff like that for a long while now. But Dramione (Draco / Hermione from Harry Potter) was always a good one. And I really liked Robin/Starfire from Teen Titans way back as well.

Song stuck in my head: Since I'm currently listening to music, I don't really have anything stuck - and I've now gone from Drunk-Dazed to Lit by Oneus.

Weirdest habit/trait: I don't really know? I'm a really fidgety person, so I'm always like tugging on my hair, picking my nails, playing with my jewelry. I speak way too fast - and tend to mumble.

Hobbies: Coloring books, reading - trying to get into water color as well. I like some cozy video games from time to time as well.

If you work, what's your profession? I'm a lab tech - working in the environmental sector. Working mostly with controlling the levels of like different pesticides and medicines in our groundwater and drinking water. Making sure it's all safe to use/drink. When I'm not in the lab, I'm one of three lab techs who tend to all our HPLC-MS instruments as well, and I think that part is really fun.

If you could have any job you wish what would you have? Honestly? While I do like my job, I would rather just not work at all.

Something you're good at: Idk? I think I've really improved my coloring skills, and I don't hate anything I did with my watercolors at first like I usually do. I'm told people enjoy it when I'm the one who has to train them at work because I'm patient with them.

Something you hate: This list would be too long should I list it all... Let's just go with onions and tomatoes.

Something you forget: My tea

Your love language: Probably quality time? And gift-giving - nothing big or expensive, more like "I found this cool rock and thought of you".

Favourite movies/shows: I have a soft spot for anything Disney/Pixar - Barbie as well actually. They can cheer me up when nothing else can. Avatar the Last Airbender and Merlin are my favorite shows.

What were you like as a child?: The quiet, weird kid who never really fit fully into any friend group - I was just kind of there.

Favourite subject in school: Probably English (I'm Danish) - one of the few subjects I was good at without having to try too hard. Chemistry and biology as well.

Least favourite subject: Social sciences or whatever it's called. Political history and so on. My teacher was nuts and I didn't understand a thing, so I fell behind and never caught up for the rest of my school life.

What's your best/worst character trait? I procrastinate way too much and then stress myself out. I'm not very confrontational, meaning I usually just let things pass - can be both good and bad depending on the situation. But I try to keep positive and take each day as it comes - and no matter how bad a day I'm having, I try to lift others up so they don't have to share my black cloud.

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?: I don't really know?

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?:

Tagging: @yoonkyoong @intergalacticpcy @miramizar

[batmanfruitloops]

Music Meister and Polka-dot Man seem like such a cute couple, so I must ask: what type of dynamic do they have? As in, is it the classic "extrovert and their introvert" trope? Or maybe they're both extroverted weirdos? I'm so curious to learn more about what Darius and Abner are like as boyfriends!

I'm so glad you asked, I've been meaning to explain those lovely goobers of mine!

"Extrovert and their introvert" is a pretty good description of how those two are, Darius being the extrovert and Abner being the introvert, although if Abner hadn't been stuck in a lab for years, he'd probably be more outgoing.

ALSO,

Because I haven't posted about Darius or Abner's backstories as of yet, I will be explaining as much as is necessary to fully understand their relationship dynamic, as well as a lot of things I like about them. So this is going to be very long and have lots of pictures (apologies that it took so long because of that)

Darius History

To start, Darius is gay (Although I suppose that's a given) and Abner is demi. Darius was aware of this from a pretty young age, and so went through the ups and downs of that over the years. Abner wouldn't know how he felt on the romantic to aspec end of the spectrum until much later. Given Abner has spent half of his life in a lab since the age of 12, and the raucous living environment he had before, developing feelings for anyone was the last thing on his mind. Living with Darius for a while and then being presented with romantic feelings, Abner would be able to think about what he'd really want out of a relationship, and if he'd like that with Darius, and he does.

Darius is an only child of Ronald and Dalia Chapel, one of the elite families of Gotham. His relationship with his parents was fine when he was very young, but when they found out that he had powers, that changed. It was a day like any other, really. Darius was playing with his cousin, Mikey. They were just playing around and Darius was singing at the top of his lungs. This was also a common behavior for him, as it was one of his favorite things. Without really thinking about it, Darius told Mikey to do whatever he said. Mikey did it all with a blank expression. Darius just thought he was playing along, so he brought his parents to show them. They were able to tell that he wasn't just choosing to listen. Terrified, they yelled for Darius to stop. He did, startled by their sudden frustration. Mikey snapped out of it, greeting his aunt and uncle. Because of this, Darius' uncle, Kevin, is also aware of his powers, although Dalia (who's Kevin's older sister) made him swear to never bring it up. Despite this, he's one of the few people to always be supportive of Darius in every part of himself.

Darius' parents tried to discourage him from doing anything musically. They didn't want anything to happen and affect their family. But Darius loved music and singing. There was just no way he was going to give that up in its entirety. So he still joined choir in school, much to his parents' dismay. He did well. He was his teacher's favorite: he could sight-read pretty much anything, he could play the piano as accompaniment during their lessons and performances, help others with their parts, as well as fit into any octave section, depending on who needed it most. Darius was bullied for this, but he brushed it off. It hurt, but he enjoyed what he did, and he knew he was good at it.

Among Darius' bullies, there were a main few who harassed him more than others, and physically instead of just words at times. These boys had another friend who defended Darius, telling them to leave him alone and helping him up off the ground. Darius fell for that boy, and he fell hard. He felt his heart flutter any time he saw him, and grinned whenever they touched.

Darius wanted to confess. He knew it might not go well, but he felt that even if the boy didn't feel the same way, he'd turn Darius down politely, and that would be it. Unfortunately, when Darius actually did confess to him in a secluded area of the school, his face contorted in disgust, and he turned Darius down not so politely. Still, Darius accepted that response and moved on. The boy, however, decided to start bullying Darius along with the others. Darius' sexuality became another thing to bully him for.

Besides that, the rest of Darius' school life was uneventful. Just homework, concerts, and a desire to belong. Right after he graduated, he got his ear pierced, and that little thing opened the floodgates for his parents to berate him again, telling him to get over himself so he'd be suitable to carry on the Chapel name. He stood his ground and soon moved out, tired of the toxic environment.

Darius is able to make friends after this, one of which he opens a club with called "Euphony Lounge". I'll have to get into that in a post of its own, but Darius co-owns and is the DJ there.

Darius still didn't have much luck dating. Not every experience was bad, but nobody was ever as serious as he was. His last "partner" before becoming the Music Meister was a guy named Corbin. Again, he'll get his own post eventually, but there's a reason I put partner in parentheses. He left Darius very drained, and with Darius also wanting a use for his powers, he threw his passions into becoming the Music Meister.

------------------

Abner History

Abner comes from a family of 9. This includes his parents and 6 siblings. His mother was an Iranian immigrant named Aviva Fazel, his father a born Gothamite David Krill. (Family order reference) His father was very controlling of his mother. She couldn't go out, couldn't talk to people or even neighbors, just had to take care of the house, kids, and whatever else he wanted. So Aviva did her best to appease his demands. Abner, being the second oldest, did his best to help around the house along with his other siblings. School was a welcome place to blend in because coming home meant going back to his father. Abner had heard his father yell and hit his mother on many occasions, threatening to throw them all out, but his mother never stopped him. That was until his father started yelling about Jamie and was going to hit him. Aviva wouldn't stand to have her children treated like that. Finally, David completely lost his temper, literally kicking Aviva and his kids out. And then they had nothing but each other.

Desperate to give her kids a better life, Aviva went from place to place, trying to find a job. During this time, Davin, Abner, and Chaya took the most care of the younger 4. They were too young to really understand what was happening, but they knew that something was wrong. A week turned into a month, then a month and a half. Aviva was able to pick up odd jobs here and there, but nothing she could keep. She could see her children starting to wither away, and it broke her heart.

Out of nowhere, Aviva spotted some fliers Stating that anyone willing to have a virus tested on them would have their living means provided for them into the foreseeable future. It sounded too good to be true, but she had to check. The flier was legitimate, and Aviva and her children were hurriedly ushered into an office to sign some documents.

The doctors and other staff all seemed fine at first. They treated the kids very nicely, getting them all cleaned up and fed. But once they were injected with the virus, their niceness took on an eerie presence. Each of them reacted differently, the spots starting small, and they felt fine. But not long after, the negative side effects started to appear. Again, saving that part for later, but I can tell you that Abner was the only one to end up surviving with the virus.

Abner hated it there. The silence filled only with the buzz of lights and passing footsteps, the dirty off-white walls, the doctors who only said that they cared. And they made him wear hand cuffs and a suppressor to keep his spots from getting out of hand until they needed him.

It was extremely uncomfortable, as well as a constant reminder of the condition he was in. Star labs' main concern is turning and/or taking meta-humans to become soldiers to fight wars instead of other humans as well as whatever intense or underhanded tasks, thanks to Waller.

Among these tasks, Waller wanted Abner to become one of her best soldiers, ready to kill and use any force necessary. But Abner is against killing, the idea terrifies him. He has no desire to be a violent person and refused despite the multitude of methods they tried using to change that. So they still deployed him for dirty government missions. So although he isn't wearing a suppressor and cuffs on missions, he's still equipped with a suicide collar and watched.

One such method they tried using on Abner was isolation: just enough to break him, but not enough to permanently take him out of commission. For many years, that was effective. Abner, stuck all by himself, left only to his thoughts. The many many thoughts of his family, outliving them, the neverending nightmare of his current situation.....the idea of dying didn't sound so bad anymore. But by the time he's 24, his current age, those isolated moments just turned to a burning rage and a plot to leave.

He puts this plot into effect during a mission and is able to get away. Again, I'll leave that moment for a different post, it's pretty important.

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First Meeting

Oh boy, let's talk about how these two met. It was not actually as rogues, though they did know of each other. They met in a meet-cute situation not too long after Abner finally escaped from the lab and was traveling around. The Gotham subway system, to be exact. Darius was just getting to and from shopping before noticing just how uncomfortable Abner looked, standing stiff with his hands in his pockets, hood pulled tightly, and a medical mask on. Then that lead to noticing that Abner had handsome eyes, and continuing to glance out of the corner of his eye. Due to the subway bumping around, Abner's hood slips momentarily, and Darius is able to see a few spots. "Oh, I know who you are," an unspoken thought. They meet eyes in that moment, Darius from curiosity and Abner fear. The shuttle grinds to a halt, and Abner books it out of there, Darius close behind. He's never actually met another meta-human before, this was his perfect chance! Unfortunately, it comes across as creepy and once Abner is cornered, he pulls a buzz saw spot out in a panic, ready to use it if Darius doesn't run off. This finally makes Darius realize just how this scenario reads, and he tries to explain and ask if Abner is okay. They chat in that alley briefly before Darius offers Abner to stay in his house until he finds a better means for himself to live. Abner would still be skeptical at this point, but Darius hasn't made any moves to hurt him (he does disclose that he's the Music Meister, btw) and Abner has the ability to stop him if he needs to. So he follows him home. Darius would explain where things were and let him know that he isn't obligated to offer anything to stay, or even interact with him. This would be pretty surprising to Abner, people don't just do things without a motive.

Abner is honestly very grateful to have a place to hide and some company. The idea of being alone any longer would be unbearable. So Abner stays pretty close to Darius, and they get to know each other as they open up. It helps that Darius is so chatty, since it makes Abner much more comfortable.

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Had they met as rogues instead, it wouldn't be too different? It mostly crossed my mind purely out of curiosity, but it's cute to me that Darius would still fall for Abner and try very hard to "rizz him up" before Abner went from flustered and distraught (from having to return to the lab, he wouldn't want to acknowledge anything at first, that could end up hurting both of them, and also, Abner still wouldn't understand how he was feeling at first) to wanting to run away with him. (I know, I can be extremely mushy)

It was a bit awkward for the first while, but Darius did a lot to make it comfortable for Abner and not feel like a stranger just passing through.

Darius originally offered Abner his room and he'd be sleeping on the couch, but Abner wasn't keen on the idea of being alone again, so he asked if they could both just be in his room. Darius understood that sentiment, so he obliged. A bit awkward for Darius (in a nervous context, not that he'd dislike the idea. He's only ever slept in the same bed as past partners), but Abner was used to sleeping with his mom and siblings before, so it's much more comfortable for him to share the proximity. Along with that, Darius also plays music on a low volume and keeps lava lamps on while he sleeps, which adds to an atmosphere that's calming. It's the opposite of the lab in every way,

Darius really did try not to fall for Abner, despite his initial physical attraction. He had just had a bad experience months prior with Corbin, and he wanted to prove to himself that he could be emotionally independent. Abner had also been in a situation that made Darius feel like he'd be unsure if he felt the same, or worse, that he'd feel obligated to reciprocate because Darius was providing him amenities. But the more Abner became comfortable with him, the harder it got.

Abner was very kind and caring, and very good at listening. He'd opened up about his past and let Darius do the same, so that only made them closer. Abner enjoyed how Darius liked to show him new things, and now enthusiastic he was about it. Abner treated Darius a lot like his siblings, it's what he'd best understand; he'd have a hard time placing how it felt different, but he'd just assume it was because they weren't actually blood related.

That said, Darius would reach a point where he'd confess, while being careful about it. He wouldn't want to make Abner uncomfortable, but it was affecting Darius on a daily basis.

Abner had to think about it for a few days, but he ultimately decided that he'd like to try and see how things worked out with Darius.

Abner likes to cook, but it would have been over a decade since he last got to. So he wouldn't have much confidence doing so, especially since he'd be recreating his mother's recipes based on his memories, but he'd enjoy himself a lot. Darius doesn't know how to cook, so it's helpful to let both of them eat better as well.

Darius is a hopeless romantic. He's just so happy to be dating Abner in the first place, and he has a lot of silly habits. Sometimes he'll just blush and giggle to himself if he catches Abner staring. He did this before they were dating too, but it's not something that ever stops happening. When he finds himself especially flustered, he'll tuck his hair behind his ear. Not the long side, mind you, but the shorter one. So there's not really any hair to tuck, it's just the motion, and Abner finds that very cute.

Abner is also pretty happy to just be dating Darius, although he shows it more through contentment. He's also a bit more aloof about giving affection. Not because he doesn't want to be affectionate, he's just so used to being by himself and left to his own thoughts that his actions can seem out of nowhere. To give an example for the sake of explanation, let's say the two were on an outing and Darius was being chatty the whole time (because of course he would be). Abner would feel the progressing want to kiss him, so the actual event of said kiss wouldn't be in reaction to any particular thing Darius said or where they were.

Euphony Lounge is a club that Darius made with his closest friend at the time, Micah. They wanted a club that anyone could feel welcome at, as well as have it decorated with lots of inspiration to their favorite music artists throughout the years, I'll get to it in it's own post eventually.

Darius will be working as the DJ most nights. Otherwise, he'll be out causing forgivable mischief as the Music Meister. He's so happy seeing other people enjoying music as well as themselves, and it's the perfect place for that.

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Spot issues

There's so much I could go into depth about how Abner's spots and the virus work, but I'll save the bulk of that for another post. What's most important is that Abner's spots can make him feel very sick if his body reaches the limit of how many spots it can handle at once before they need to be purged.

He'll start to get a bad migraine, with spotty vision and his mouth with taste like stomach acid, throat dry, and sticking to itself. Nausea sets in as well, making moving at all uncomfortable. He'd be more aware of every spot on his body than usual, and so he'd want them gone. Unfortunately, he still can't purge them just anywhere. If he were to throw them all up in the toilet, it would be destroyed by the buzz saws and black holes, so he has to be able to find a secluded area to safely get rid of them all. Darius does his best to comfort Abner until these bouts are over, continuing to help as purging leaves him very drained.

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Dating

Darius likes to sing in the shower and continues to do so while getting ready for the day. Abner finds this very amusing and will just listen to and watch him. Although it still caught both of them by surprise the first time it happened living together.

Abner had on cuffs and a suppressor for a majority of his life before escaping. Because of this, he gets extremely anxious when his wrists or neck are touched. Add any pressure to that, and he'll pull away. Darius is understanding of this and does his best to avoid touching them. Pretty much anywhere else is fine for him. Places that are more commonly sensitive, he'd be fine with, like your back, hips, thighs, that kind of thing. So he becomes a bit frustrated at himself about it. It makes total sense, it's going to take time, and it will probably only ever be Darius who'll touch him like that, but that's part of why he's frustrated. He trusts Darius, there's no way that man will ever hurt him, yet the anxiety is still there. But they work through it over time. Abner having patience in himself is very important. And Darius is just as patient and sweet. Perhaps I'm beating this point into the ground, but it's very important to me, given I've had a similar situation before.

Darius is very much on the opposite end. He likes all kinds of touch, anywhere, anytime. He's a very physically affectionate person, so his friends receive that too (given they aren't touch averse, of course). This is a helpful fact for when they first start dating, as it gives Abner the ability to lead. Darius is content just knowing Abner feels the same way, but he's very happy that Abner wants to be touchy as well.

Along with that, Darius is 6' 1" and Abner is 6', so they're practically the same height. If not for Darius styling his hair so big, and wearing platforms to go out, you probably couldn't be sure who was actually taller. Also a little fun fact that goes along with that, in 4" platforms Darius would be the same height as Jo, 6' 5", although his Music Meister costume has one of the few pairs of shoes he owns that have a normal sole.

Abner isn't particularly fond of going out. He wants to experience new things for himself, but the idea of his identity being found out and having to return to the lab is his worst fear. However, it's more comfortable when he goes out with Darius. Darius is very good at keeping his attention or re-directing it to something else. A firm hand hold can never go wrong either. Plus it's not fair to think that Abner would never be able to go out because of something someone else is responsible for.

Still, they mostly go out to the Euphony Lounge and that's a safe place to be. It's stimulating for Abner without being too much in the DJ booth, and Darius is able to enjoy a job he really likes. Sometimes they'll even dance together up there, just getting lost in the music and each other's presence.

I think that's everything I have at the moment, ha ha, I love these two,

- Sarsee

[karmicbias]

Haven't had a chance to look through Tumblr much but tell me all your thoughts about the reveal pls

💜💜💜 this got totally buried in my notifs because things are so feral here RN!

My feelings have been all over the map. I don't know if you were ever a Doctor Who fan, but as I was listening to my ghostbangers playlist (all my faves) while the clock ticked down, Dance Macabre had the audacity to come on at about 11:45.

You'll soon be hearing the chime

Close to midnight

If I could turn back the time

I'd make all right

How could it end like this?

There's a sting in the way you kiss me

Something within your eyes

Said it could be the last time

'Fore it's over

Which, rude. I was already feeling emotional and this punted me fully off the cliff into ugly crying. But it also reminded me of other times I felt this way about a fictional guy and his companions.

And that was a comfort. I've done this before. I felt a little silly getting so emotional - for one thing, I joined the fandom about a month before the movie came out. And I knew what was coming and thought I was okay! But apparently I still had some feelings about it.

Anyway.

On my first watch I was completely overwhelmed just trying to take in all the details. I was focused so much on the structure and sound of the music and lyrics that I wasn't really looking at the people in the video.

And that Papa reveal. It absolutely took my breath away. The flip, the weird ominous chords as the ghouls approach and the scene shifts from 4:3 to 16:9, the drama. The motherfucking costumes. I'd seen a spoiler photo just a little before the actual video dropped but seeing everyone in motion was completely something else. Unholy and astounding.

Then - I panicked a little bit because we're so used to ghouls and ghoulettes having gendered headgear and I thought somehow we only retained at most two ghouls and maybe two ghoulettes. The idea that almost none of the characters I've come to love would be there in July - I wasn't feeling super good about it even though I knew it was always a possibility.

That's when I started seeing chatter about the unmasked musicians being in the video - at which point I put the video on again and laughed my ass off in joy and relief. I was still confused on if all the costumed ghouls were new in addition to the "ensemble" as the mv calls them - I'd been speculating that Tobias might go full stage show on us so a chorus/ensemble wouldn't be totally out of the question but it would be a big change!

Eventually I got straightened out on that and was trying to convince myself that [Cumulus' performer] maybe lost weight or couldn't make the new costume shoot and [Cirrus' performer] just really looks different without her usual makeup - but alas. Cumulus has retired! I was excited to see her again on tour and I'm disappointed, but she's done so much good work with the band and it seems like she's going to be putting out her own stuff later this year.

From a cosplay perspective this is also a huge bummer because it was really nice to have her body type represented up there (I will do a Ghoul outfit if I do anything because no way you're catching me in those bodysuits, damn. I'll leave that for the younger half of the fans, lol). Lots of challenges in cosplaying this era, but I enjoy helping others source fabrics, analyze garment construction, etc so there'll still be stuff for me to do!

And much as I love her I'd be much more upset if it was most of the ghoul/ettes gone like I originally thought - so realizing it was just one new member was a fair outcome in comparison. I don't know if it was intended to reassure us our faves are sticking around by straight up putting them in the video unmasked, but it's a welcome effect regardless, because you can't see shit of who's who in the video or stills once they're in costume!

Sidebar: one of the new interviews, the host asked Tobias if he was bringing back the skeleton ghouls from RHRN and he grinned and said, "not exactly, but you'll see," so yeah I feel confident that was either a trial run of sorts, or the inspiration.

Then I stayed up until 4:30am transcribing the chords so I could play the new song 😅 so you could say I like it! I've had it on repeat fairly often the last couple of days (also an understatement).

I could go on (and likely will if asked, lol) - but this is already quite long!

Hopefully you'll get a chance to catch up with us here soon! It's been so much fun this week as we start playing with the new toys we've been gifted.