#have you listened to it and found back your sanity since btw?

[padfootagain]

I know I have said it before, but let me say it again... I am obsessed with Unreal Unearth, that is the best album ever made...

[at1nys-blog]

Is a gin tonic

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x reader

Summary: when you see him again, in the same club you think fate is on your side

A/N: @snowgirlfallen here the second part, again I'm so so sorry it took this long 😭. Btw I love this picture of Hongjoong so much, I want it tattooed in my brain because is the most beautiful thing ever

Pt.1

You managed to survive for two weeks. Two long weeks of work, some other work and did I mentioned because of work? What helped you throught fourteen days of pure chaotic errands and meetings was Ateez's discography. Since you check it out, you started doing everything with their song playing in the background. What better choice of music while at the gym or doing the dishes?

Coming back home, earlier than usual since it was Friday, you thought that you needed a change of scenary before loosing your sanity. Watching movies was nice, more than nice but not for week on end, that was too much to handle even for you.

You decided to text your friend, informing her about your plan for the night and asked her if she wanted to tag along, clarifying that whatever she wanted to do, you didn't care, you were going to party whatever if she was coming or not.

The answer came almost immediately, all in caps and it read "OH MY GOD THANK YOU I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAYS WAS COMING ANY TIME SOON WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED???? NEVERMIND YOU WILL TELL ME ONCE IM THERE" you laughed at the device, picturing your friend excited about you suggesting such a hangout like that.

She then asked if you had a place to go in mind already, or if you two could talk where to go while getting ready. You told her you already knew where to go, but it was going to be a surprise for her. Once saying your see you laters, you blocked your phone and went to take a shower before your friend could start bombarding with questions.

You had time to shower, dry your hair and clean the room before the bell of your apartament rang, for once in your life you were glad your best friend lived fourty minutes away from you.

"Okay, you showered already, great. Now I have some make up and some cloths you might like but I need to know where we are going." she started not even greeting you, but it was fine this was just her being thrilled about the whole situation.

"I told you already, is a surprise." you weren't going to give in, no sir. You wanted to go to the same club as two weeks ago and you knew that if you told her she was going to try and change your mind.

"Listen, I know you said it is..." you started to push her in your room, there was no time to waste with stupid banter. "ehy, I can walk on my own you know?"

"It doesn't seems like it" you joked, still pushing her in your room.

Once inside you let her go, and she rushed to your wardrobe in search of something you could wear. “I though about your make up and..” she struggled to move one of the dresses that you had hanged some days ago. Watching it carefully, she decided to not take down that one. “What was I talking about?”

“The make up” you said sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Ah yes the make up. I though about some glitters. What do you think?” She growled, trying to untangle a couple of hangers that ended up together.

“You want a chair?” You proposed. “And about the glitters, well, it depends.”

“Pass me a chair.” You did as told and she thanked you. “Yes” tanking down the two dresses she pondered for a while which one was best, then went back to check on your wardrobe. “Where is that one black dress you wore last time?”

“Nah is too short for me. I threw it away.” You answered her.

“Such a waste to be honest. Ah the glitters. Check in my bag. I have the make up trousse, look if you like the glitters.” Rolling your eyes you went to see in her purse and finding the trousse you started rummaging around until you found it.

“Purple glitters? Really?” You said showing her the little box of purple and pink glitters.

“What? They are cute. And besides purple suits you.” She said and climbed down the chair. “Here. Put on this one.”

The dress was longer than the one you wore last time but much, you still thanked your friend she didn’t pick a shorter one. Looking yourself in the mirror you had to admit that the glitters were fine. They gave a pop of color with your grey and black outfit choice.

“I wonder why you aren’t a make up artist yet.” You commented, she smiled at you.

“Because people are stupid. Now, let’s go.” She said leaving the bathroom first.

You checked that everything was okay and adjusting one more time your hair before taking a deep breath, getting ready for the night. If you had to meet him, you were to and if it wasn't, it wasn't. But deep down, very deep down you wished to see him again.

The cue to the club was pretty long, your friend next to you couldn't stop moving around. Impatience running throughout her body, you could tell.

"Stop it already." you told her, she mocked you a little. "we will get inside anytime soon now." and as if your word was the clue for it, the line started to move, every second faster than the previous. "Told you"

"You are wicked, I'm telling you." when the two of you were close enough to the entrance, her eyes widened. "Here? Again? Why?"

"Why not? Listen, I liked it last time so why not coming back?" you answered. She gave you a side eye look.

“You sure?”

“Sure”

“So the man you went home with has nothing to do with why you chose to come here?”

“He has nothing to do with that.” You answered but she didn’t believe you one bit. “What? Stop looking at me like that.”

“I’ll stop when you’ll stop lying to me.” You just rolled your eyes and kept walking to get inside.

It took you twenty minutes to drop your friend on the dance floor with the promise to be back as soon as possible and with the excuse of wanting a drink. You tried to ask if she wanted one too but the loud music and the group of people dancing around her didn't help. You dropped it, not really in the mood to try harderd to ask her.

Waiting for your drink at the bar you couldn't help but hear a girl hitting on someone next to you. She was drunk, which, in your opinion was the reason why she sounded so bold. Giving a quick look at your left you giggled at the sight in front of you. A blonde girl was all over her prey, tracing her finger up and down the poor boy arm, then she went closer, wispering something to the man's ear and that was when you saw his features for the first time. Joking on your own saliva you got the duo's attention on you: the girl, kind to ask if everything was fine and Hongjoong confused.

"No, yeah totally fine. I just... Nevermind have a..." the bar man called out to you, informing that your drink was ready "thanks" you yelled over the music, whether he heard or not a mystery.

"Why are you having iced water?" asked the blonde girl, his voice give away how drunk she was. "we are at the club, you should drink something more..." she almost fell from her stoll, both you and Hongjoong went immediately to help her stay on her own feet. "Thanks. As I was saying.."

"Yeah I know is a gin tonic." your attention was on Hongjoong, he mouthed the drink's name with a small smile on his face. "you need..." you didn't had time to finish your sentence that a new voice got mixed in the little party.

"I'm very sorry for her, I'll take care of her now. Thanks." and with that the two figures left you and Hongjoong alone.

"So" he started

"So?" you said back waiting for the idol to say something

"So, I didn't thought to see you here ,again" he was trying hard to break the ice. "considering what happened"

"You mean what happened with the creppy guy or after that?" you giggled at your own words, he smilled with you. Oh how much did you missed that stupid, beautiful smile of his. Sure, you had spent quite some time scrolling through pinterest watching pictures of him but nothing could compare to what was standing in front of you.

“I hope the first one.” He giggled and you found yourself doing so too. He moved closer. Taking the seat next to you before asking how you did this past two weeks.

“Could have gone better to be honest.” At least I had your voice and face to cheer me up, you didn’t dare to tell him though, knowing a little bit about his idol self you didn’t want to bust his ego. He simply nodded, a soft nice leaving his lips. “And what about you?”

“Better now that I see you.”

“What a flirt. I can’t make your 14 days better just by being there” you said, your drink long forgotten.

“You have no idea. I was loosing hope to see you again, and now…” he simply moved his hands up and down your figure. “… you are here. I guess we had the same idea”

“And what’s that?” You asked playfully.

“Coming here. I’ve been coming to this club whenever I had a day off. My staff wasn’t too appealed but I didn’t care.” You nodded … the information he just gave you. “I didn’t see you here before so why tonight?”

“My job was draining me so I though a night out could help me out a little bit.” You confessed. “And I also hoped to see you again.” Another confession out in the world, for only him to know. He appreciated your words, you could tell by his smiling face. “Stop it.”

“Doing what?” He was truly confused.

“Smiling like that. Is nothing to smile about.”

“It is. You said that if was fate we were going to meet again and here we are.” Indeed you were, one in front of the other, talking like you knew each other for a long time. “Now I have a question. What if I didn’t come tonight? Would have gave me in seeing me again?”

“Oh totally. I only give destiny one chance.” Lie, you were going chasing him club after club. Making it seems like a coincidence that you were there too, like tonight. For everyone around the two of you, it was a coincidence the both of you were there again.

“Aigo, what a liar you are.”

“I’m not a liar. I actually give one chance to fate. If it is meant to be don’t you think the universe will bring two people together every change it gets?”

“Stop defending yourself you are not doing a good job. I can tell you are lying.” He started to stare at you, he wanted to see the moment you broke down in your eyes.

“Okay, maybe I was going to find a way to meet you.”

“You are, oh, so obsessed with me.” He laughed at it, making you roll your eyes. But he was true. His face, his smile, his voice, his laugh. Everything about him was intoxicating to you. He was just too perfect.

“Obsessed is such a strong word now, but…”

“Come with me.” He said standing up from his seat and stretching his hands for you to take. You looked at his hand first, than back at him. “Just come with me. If you trust me of course.” You did trust him, so without being asked a third time you took his hand and followed him.

You thought he was going to lead you outside, just to have some more privacy and to stop yelling above the music that was being played, but no, he took you at the end of the club, a secluted area with a couple of tables. One of the two was occupied by seven figures.

"I asked them to behave" he yelled in your ears. It was the first time he came this close to you and it gave you chills all over your body. "I hope they will listen to me once in their life" he added, you looked at him throught your lashes thinking if it was a good idea. You didn't had time to turn back that he waved at one of the boys, he turning as if he knew Hongjoong was there.

"Are you sure? I mean, you are all idols and I..." One of the members, Wooyoung you recognized him in the dim lights of the club, well mostly you could tell it was him thanks to his excitment and behaviour. He surely was someone that skipped some steps in meeting someone knew.

He was quick to take you and make you sit down next to him, asking who you were and how you were doing, after answering his question he kept asking more and more, not giving you the time to ask somwthing on your own. He wanted to know you, that was all.

You and the boys kept talking and having fun with one another, until you got a text from your friend asking you were the hell did you end up, she also texted you that if you were having some fun she didn't want to know. You got Hongjoong's attention telling him that you had to go.

"You need to stop leaving me like this" he joked and you smiled. You asked to have his phone.

"Text me if you want to talk, I'll try and answer as soon as possible." this time you were the one talking in his ear, smirking a little bit.

"You are so obsessed with me." he joked.

You waved goodbye to the rest of the group, starting to push people out of your way to finally get to your friend and when you finally were close to her, to her what she had to say she asked you where did you end up.

"I swear you have to stop disappearing on me like this. You will give me a heart attack" she scolded you. "Now, can we go somewhere else?”

“Sure. You had a place in mind or…” you asked over the loud music, she gave you a mischievous smile, looking behind you and waving at whoever was.

“I have made a new friend while you were flirting.” Turning around you came face to face with Ateez once more. Hongjoong was the first to come closer to you. “One of them suggested to go somewhere else.” She added.

Looking at the leader of the group you rolled your eyes but smiled nonetheless.

“You are so obsessed with me.” You mocked him but took his hand and left the club followed by your best friend and the rest of the group.

The rest of the night was spent having fun, club hopping around Itaewon and having a snack, or two, in between and talking about nothing as the ten of you were friends since ever.

[thestarlightforge]

Little rage update to this because I found one of the articles again:

Imagine being so out of touch with your own production, you think Villanelle is happiest when murdering people.

As if she didn’t give a WHOLE MONOLOGUE about how she used to kill in a desperate attempt to find any sensation at all. As if she didn’t come out of that darkness through finally processing some of her trauma & building this relationship with Eve during S1-3.

As if that whole S3 finale never happened: The conversation with Carolyn, begging her to see value in anything besides her ability to kill, and despair when Carolyn refuses. The cracks in her voice while they dance as it finally hits her, all the people she’s killed, and she doesn’t want to kill anymore, but she steels herself & puts on one last show to kill the woman who’s after Eve bc she finally trusts Eve enough to start to be vulnerable & let her in & trust that she’ll still be there & not find her monstrous or disgusting when she gets back; the grimace as she leans into Eve on the bridge, letting her go bc it’s the selfless-love thing to do.

Villanelle didn’t send Eve up to distract the partiers because she’s happiest when killing people. (She wanted to be a goddamn interior decorator 😭 I’m begging y’all to LISTENNN.) That hasn’t been the case since season ONE, and that wasn’t even the FULL STORY back THEN. She sent her up there because she has processed her shit & she knows how horrible and irreversible it is to kill somebody. But she knew the Twelve had to die—for Eve’s sanity, Villanelle’s freedom & for them to have any chance at a free life together. So she saved Eve from that burden. Let her feel like she helped by dancing it out at a wedding, shining her light. Steeled herself, just like in S3, and got the job done.

Bc did y’all see her relief when she got back to Eve on the bridge? When it was over? The troubled expression as she watched Eve walk into the wedding? How the only time she smiled was when she came out of the kitchen to listen to Eve give her officiant speech about their relationship, and then she disappeared again—just grimacing during the killing (which was a 1 vs 12 fight without Eve btw, so ofc she couldn’t be clean about it)? Did you see the desperately sad way she kissed Eve at the bottom of the stairs before she sent her off, knowing what she was about to have to put herself through and wanting to soak in that goodness, to remind herself she’s loved somewhere before she went in and did that? How her whole body shakes after the last killing & she only smiles again once the weapon drops from her hand—as she realizes that might be the last time she ever has to do this?

Eve and Villanelle went in opposite, parallel directions over the course of the show, crashing into/embracing each other to finally find that balance and understanding. And hilariously (in the context of Neal’s comments), that journey means if anything, EVE is the one who “enjoys killing” at this point 😂 NOT Villanelle.

I literally don’t understand how any reasonable person even could come to the conclusions Laura Neal did in good faith, much less the goddamn show-runner. But then, she didn’t do it in good faith, did she. She sent the mentally ill queer woman on a quest to purify herself of sin through JESUS for 80% of a season & then SHOT her & threw her in the THAMES, the site of Eve’s acceptance in S3, so that Eve, as the formerly “straight” woman who was in love with her, could have the “relief” of getting her “NORMAL LIFE” back—

I’M—

How long am I gonna be explaining to people, I wonder:

Villanelle is a compelling and relatable character—and so similar to Catra—& her relationship with Eve heart wrenching to watch because she turned herself into a weapon at a young age so no one could hurt her anymore? (And Catra and Villanelle are both power bottoms, and no, that’s not a joke—it’s character info.)

It’s why her backstory episode with her mom in S3, and the final shot of her crying on the train, are so perfect, for all people’s complaints about S3. And then she grew and changed. And Eve came back. And she let someone hurt her. She let someone in.

Because no, most people don’t have mental health scarring to the degree that Villanelle has. (A lot of that—the spy stuff, the Twelve—can be read as a way to personify a general sense of governmental repression anyway.) But there’s something very real about being a soft-hearted person who forced yourself to become a survivor, scrapping from day to day to find any reason to live, and then finally finding someone who understands you and doesn’t want to hurt you.

And for Eve, it was compelling because she was closeted. All the trappings of her old life—from Nico and their flat full of chickens, to her desk job—were symbolic of repressive, misogynistic, comp-het culture as a whole. Villanelle represented burning all of it down: rebellion, anarchy, honesty, freedom.

And it is absolute crap—not to mention WILDLY homophobic—that it would be anything RESEMBLING a “relief” for her to lose that freedom; to say her queerness and desire for more were a phase, and she’d be happier going back into repression.

It’s crap. And it’s one of the many reasons I have to be a writer.

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Bus Rides and Sweet Times

Pairing: Sam Alexander x Parker!Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: None

Anon asked:  Can you do a Sam Alexander x Reader, but you're Peter Parker's sister??

A/N: Totally staying with the tradition of badmouthing Peter at the end of my oneshots and I’m proud of it. Sorry it’s so late btw, I was on a hiatus when you had requested it

On your first day of Advanced Biology you had been sweating buckets. You were attending a biology class ahead of your grade through the Accolades programme and were considering faking temporary illness to skip the day.

It was nerve wracking to have to go into a class where everybody was older than you and could bully you. Last thing you wanted was people to shove you in lockers like your older brother, Peter.

Well that was before he became friends with the school’s toughest football player but still. You didn’t really want to go through the embarrassment of being shoved in a locker for 5 years before finally making an unlikely friendship and then have a last good year of high school.

But when you stepped through the door, you were immediately relieved to see a familiar face.

Sam Alexander wasn’t a friend of yours, he was one to your brother and they weren’t even that close, but even then, seeing recognition on his face made you oddly relieved.

“Sit wherever, Miss Parker.” Said the teacher before returning to the board.

For a second you wondered about sitting next to Sam but then realized it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. So, you just moved to the back of the class and tried to blend in with the walls.

It was no secret that you were insecure about being the youngest person in the class. You never answered, never asked questions and always tried not to participate. That’s why the teacher was always surprised whenever you got the highest grades.

She always made sure to praise you in front of the entire class which made you embarrassed but still proud.

And that’s when she got the idea of you tutoring one of her students after school. And you being the innocent girl who just didn’t know how to say no to a teacher, agreed.

That’s when you started to spend more time with none other than Sam Alexander.

You should be annoyed but really you were relieved that it wasn’t any stranger.

Yet another time that Sam saved your sanity by just having a recognizable face.

**** 

“Hey do you mind keeping this whole tutoring thing a secret?”

“Why?”

A part in you was half expecting him to say something like he didn’t want people to know he was hanging out with a geeky younger girl even though you knew he wasn’t the type to be so rude, regardless of what Peter said about him.

“Well, your brother and my friends are really smart. If they found out I was getting tutored by a girl who was a grade below me...”

He scratched his cheek nervously and you melted. He was just as insecure and unsure as you were and while your intellect sometimes made you feel out of place, he felt the same way about his.

So, you nodded and set a hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring nod.

“I promise I won’t say anything.”

“Your brother won’t be curious?”

“I’ll think of something.”

Unfortunately, you wouldn’t have too long to come up with a suitable excuse.

You quickly got to work and explained the concepts and making sure he understood everything you were telling him, even drawing diagrams and things like that because you figured he was a visual learner more than textual.

After nearly an hour spent in the library together, you noticed your brother come in with Harry and MJ, probably wanting to get some lab manuals for chemistry. Once he saw you with his sort of friend, he immediately made his way over to the pair of you.

“What’s going on?”

“Tutoring session.”

Sam immediately shot you a betrayed look but you didn’t even blink, turning back to your notes.

Just as you knew he would, your brother laughed and pointed at a slightly embarrassed Sam which made you irritated on the inside but you covered it with a plain expression.

“You’re getting tutored by my little sister?”

“Actually, he’s the one tutoring me.”

The two boys turned to you with shocked faces and you folded your arms over each other, raising a brow at Peter.

“What?”

“Yeah, I keep missing class because I’m the lab assistant and I end up running late so Sam here promised to keep me in the loop.”

It wasn’t a lie, you were the lab assistant during Chemistry and as a result always had to clean up after your classmates after the period was over, but Peter didn’t need to know that you still managed to reach class on time because the teacher would spend the first 5 minutes reviewing the previous lesson.

Just as you knew he would, Peter bought the excuse, returning to his friends and telling you that he’d pick you up from your part-time job today, trying to be a good brother. But you knew it was because he found your co-worker cute.

“Thanks for that.” Sam spoke gently and you waved him off, leaning towards him again and pointing to the diagram of an operator.

“No problem, now back to Lac Operon.”

****

The next few weeks are spent the same way. Sam slowly brought his grades up in class tests and progress quizzes but the teacher still wanted you to continue with the tutoring sessions as your midterms were coming up.

That’s how you end up meeting and spending hours of your time with Sam, but it never really goes beyond tutoring and you never see each other outside of the library.

That is until one day you’re going straight home instead of going to your job like you usually do. You end up taking the same bus as Sam and sit beside him because it was the only seat open that wasn’t beside some older guy or a child.

Sitting next to you, he plans to do the same but when he glances at you, you’re slowly drifting off to sleep, letting your head lol to the side in an uncomfortable position.

So, he gently rests your head on his shoulder, his heart skipping a beat when you cuddled closer to him. He watched you on the ride home, just wondering when was the last time you got some rest.

You were beautiful, yes, but he wondered about the dark circles underneath your eyes and the tired frown on your face as you leaned against him, silently realizing how haggard you looked for such a young girl.

You were trying to take all advanced classes but wasn’t naturally intelligent like your older brother so you ended up working till all hours trying to keep your grades up. He always knew that you worked hard but it was obvious that it was taking a toll on you.

So why hadn’t you ever said anything?

He wanted to tell you that you were perfect just the way you were and that you should take it easy but he knew you liked working hard and he found that really admirable.

The rest of the bus ride was just spent with him making sure you weren’t stirring or getting uncomfortable. Silently thinking you were beautiful. At the time it felt like you were the only 2 on the planet.

But what he didn’t know was that everybody on the bus were fangirling about how cute the two of you looked cuddled up on the bus seat. An older man was musing something about young love but Sam just thought he was remembering the good old days.

When the bus pulls up to your street, Sam gently wakes you up and tells you that your home. He even gets off at your stop to walk your drowsy self to the door where he meets Aunt May for the first time.

You were so tired you barely remembered Sam’s arm wrapped around you as he pulled you to the door. You thought your eyes were open but they were definitely closed and so he rang the doorbell for you because you were not awake enough to fish for your keys in your bag.

****

Ever since that day, Sam began to pay more attention to you. He always looked out for you in a silent way, never trying to bring to your attention that he was thinking of you.

“Hey check it out! The vending machine gave me two strawberry milks! Do you want one?”

“I got this pack of nuts but it has peanuts in it and I’m allergic so you can have it.”

“I’ll do a practice test and you can check it after I’m done. In the mean time you can take a nap.”

He took the bus home with you every day since then, saying that he came to your work when you were getting off for a smoothie even though there were a hundred places in New York that didn’t need him to come so far out

But you never said that to him because you liked going home with him, sometimes falling asleep together and sometimes listening to music, sharing earphones or even just quietly talking.

In the beginning he was afraid that you’d sleep and end up missing your bus or that you’d end up with a crick in your neck because of the position you fell asleep in but he liked taking the bus home with you, playing with your fingers gently while you napped peacefully beside him.

Once after Sam dropped you off at your house, you said your goodbyes to him and went inside, telling him you’d see him tomorrow. He politely declined Aunt May’s invites for dinner, saying that he had to get home because he had chores to do (training).

Around 10 minutes later, you left home again, going to pick up some rolls for dinner when you notice someone walking ahead of you but it’s only when the person walks underneath the lamppost do you recognize him.

“Sam?” You call out, wondering where he’s heading late in the night when his house was in the opposite direction.

“Oh shit.” 

Sam freezes in his steps, silently contemplating whether he should just run for it or actually turn around to face you. You call his name again and wonder if you actually got it wrong and he was just some random kid in your neighbourhood.

But then he turns around and it’s him, blushing bright red that you could see it even in the dark and his heart began beating quickly, seeing you make your way over to him.

“What are you doing here? I thought your house was down the block?”

He tried to think of something but his mouth got really dry before he figured he should just give up.

“Well, about that, it.... isn’t.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and trying to avoid making direct eye contact with you.

“What?”

“I live close to the school actually.”

“But you’ve been taking the bus home with me every day for like 2 weeks now.”

“Yeah, it’s just because I like taking the bus....and sitting next to you. Taking the bus was my excuse to spend more time with you.”

You could’ve sworn you swooned.

It was the first time you noticed just how crazy for you Sam was and it was exhilarating. To see this older boy standing in front of you and being vulnerable enough to be sweet and thoughtful.

It was kind of that little girl fantasy that you dreamt about back when you thought Cinderella and Rapunzel had been real. So, you can’t stop yourself from smiling when you notice how awkward Sam is beginning to get underneath your stare.

Sure, he wasn’t exactly prince charming but to be honest, to you, he was much better.

Prince Charming forgot what Cinderella looked like.

Like what the heck?

“You could’ve just asked me out on a date.”

“Well I wasn’t sure that you’d say yes.”

“Ask me now then.”

****

Dating Sam was everything you’d expect it to be. He was sweet and thoughtful, always taking you out and loving to spend time with you. Your tradition of him picking you up after work and taking the bus home turned into you greeting him after getting off with a kiss and then inviting him inside for dinner.

Even though you knew he didn’t live close here, he still wanted to drop you home. He said he was being considerate and loved spending time with you, which was true, but it was also because he was afraid you’d fall asleep on some other boy’s shoulder and fall in love with him.

Which was ridiculously specific but you still indulged him.

Peter didn’t find out initially because he always managed to miss Sam right when he got home because he was out crime fighting.

And you didn’t feel the need to bring it to his attention.

You knew he would find out one day though and the opportunity presented itself when he brought his friends home to live in the house because a fire had destroyed their dorms.

And with him came your boyfriend, outright grinning at the sight of you and you had to hide your laughter because you knew Sam was excited about having alone time with you at home without seeming suspicious.

But something was telling you with so many people in the house, you wouldn’t be getting any solitude for a long while.

May being kind of strict between the two of you, saying that you can’t close the doors was not surprising even though you knew she loved Sam. To Peter however, it was kind of startling.

The two of you manage to spend time without drawing suspicion. Going on grocery store runs quickly became your favourite kind of date because it was just the two of you roaming around the store with Sam pushing you in the shopping cart.

Peter one day sat the two of you down with a seriousness that made you want to laugh in his face because you could see how awkward it was, demanding to know exactly what was going on between the two of you.

What he wasn’t expecting was you to admit that you had been dating for nearly 4 months now.

Apparently neither were his teammates.

The rest of the night was like an interrogation while the two of you just curled up on the couch and ignored the rest of them until Aunt May came home and told them to stop bothering you.

At which point they all just shut up and decided to watch a movie.

Your boyfriend held you close to him underneath the blankets, holding your hand in his, clutched to his heart and you used your free hand to feed the two of you pizza without even looking away from the screen.

Half-way through the movie, just as you were beginning to drift off, Peter scared the shit out of you by jumping up and shouting.

“Oh my god! I left the two of you at home alone so many times because I didn’t think you liked each other!”

Your face burned and you just hid underneath the blankets, trying to avoid the teasing faces of the others and try not to combust.

“Oh, just can it Parker!”

“Excuse me?”

“I meant the other Parker and you know it!”

[mrpenguinpants]

KAEYA PLAYING WITH ABYSS MAGES AHDHSHDHSB IM- that’s so cute????? Guizhong being older than Zhongli is such a valid hc, I fully support and condone it. Thank you. And Childe growing to like battle was something I found interesting because he was once mentioned to be fragile and weak in his character stories iirc? I like to think that maybe the initial reason he persevered was to overcome that past status.

Also, YES. They’d have the worst habits, and it would eventually become more visible the more comfortable it becomes, but Keqing just gives up on trying to change anything because it’s literally hopeless.

I also headcanon that they have different ways to show appreciation for Keqing. E.g. Childe sometimes uses one of his cringy ass Russian nicknames and when she looks up the meaning, she turns from the most straight-faced woman known to man to a highkey affection-starved queen self-destructing in her room.

Diluc leaves a note on her desk that are simple “Sleep early today. Tomorrow is your day-off.” or “Don’t over work yourself.” messages. He’s so self-conscious about it because like, what if Kaeya catches him up at night contemplating whatever reaction he’ll get. Ends up feeling so accomplished whenever his messages bring a smile to her face.

Kaeya, I feel, would be more open in a sense? Keqing is the last person he thinks he’s be able to deceive, and so he chooses not to. He’s probably one who enjoys deep conversations about literally anything be it mosaic artwork or changes in between modern and archaic politics. A good listener and a fine conversation partner, I feel they’d certainly have interesting conversations.

Zhongli lowkey seizing every opportunity to bring up Rex Lapis and his sense of humor is lowkey degrading Morax for his past mistakes. He’s like “Oh, I thought you hated him. I hate him too” and proceeds to laugh at the fact that the oh-so legendary Geo archon bore a hole in his hoodie for his hair. FOR HIS HAIRS. Keqing is losing her sanity trying not to expose herself as a closeted fan.

The anon lists’ name is super cute btw! Makes me feel pretty blessed for being there haha. I just finished midterms and goodness, I am exhausted. We’re having a short break so I think I can send asks much faster during the brief moment of rest. And pls drink responsibly 🙏

Sincerely, Keqing harem brainrot anon

I lowkey plucked Kaeya playing with mobs and shoved it into the royalty au because god damn, that’s fucking cute. I’m so behind on my asks;; but it’s okay cause we’re here now. I don’t know, Guizhong being that older sister/mother/whatever figure is so heartwarming to me. I think you’re right? I vaguely remember him saying he was pretty fragile but I have the memory of a goldfish haha. Lowkey, this is why I really want the part 2 and 3 of character story quests to go more in depth with their actual character stories. I want to see Childe talk about his feelings and meet his siblings, I want to hear more about Guizhong, I want to hear about the crippling loneliness and depression that Bennett and Barbara have (NO I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS PART. WHY THE FUCK IS GENSHIN NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS? I KNOW ITS FUN AND GAMES BUT LET ME CARE ABOUT THEM. 1.4 has these hangout events and istg, bennett and barabara have one and if we don’t talk about our feelings I’m going to cry). 

oml their bad habits, Zhongli and his extensive collection of plants because that’s the most social interaction he gets (yes, zhongli is a planter. no i do not take criticism tyvm) and it starts off with a couple plants. Not too bad. Then the next day Keqing walks and it looks like their entire home turned into a forest. But Zhongli loves his plant children and Keqing is slowly losing her mind and starts referring to the plants with the nicknames Zhongli gave them. 

This. This is cute. These appreciation ideas. I fully approve and we need to bring them back. I don’t know anything about Russian but I have a friend that does. But I don’t know how to casually say “hey, can you give me Russian nicknames of endearment. It’s for research.”. Keqing radiates professional in the front, social anxiety in the back. I just love that they added the detail that she’s secretly a Rex Lapis fan but pretends that she hates him. I know there is art of Zhongli lowkey being creeped out or vv smug when he find’s Keqings stash but idk, imagining him being a proud dad and giving headpats even though Keqing is an adult. 

Okay. Let me level with you. Sticky notes of reassuring phrases are the best and why the fuck aren’t people doing it more. I’ve been reading “my mom left a note on the table” or “my partner puts sticky notes in my textbooks as a pick me up” for CENTURIES but am I seeing it in real life? Fuck no. Please, if someone does this for you. Keep them, never let them go. I can imagine Diluc writing these messages, feeling confident when he writes them and ready to be a supportive person. The next day he’s looking at these notes and thinking “what the fuck did I just write, this is garbage” (totally not how I feel about my writing). Then he proceeds to throw them in some cabinet but since Kaeya doesn’t know the first thing about personal boundaries he goes snooping around in Diluc’s room, discovers the notes, and he ends up taking them and putting them on Keqing’s things. It makes her happy so Diluc is going to ignore the very pressing issue with whether or not he should commit manslaughter. 

You know, that’s very valid. That’s how I feel about Kaeya’s relationship with Lisa or Albedo. People that don’t get riled up or annoyed by his antics the same way Amber is. I feel like if you’re looking for small talk, he’s not a bad choice, but if you want those deep 3am conversations he’s definitely the person to go to. Zhongli isn’t a bad choice either but Zhongli tends to go into historical and philosophical moments (which isn’t bad) but you want to have someone relate to you or it feels like an actual conversation and not a history lesson then he’s actually perfect. Especially more controversial topics, I feel like Kaeya would probably have very different opinions from the norm. 

YES. YES. YES I’m replying to these as I read them but YES. Honestly, I get it. Zhongli is a super polite and respectable person. But. But. Have you seen how he clowned on Childe?? That entire interaction?? He didn’t even look the slightest big apologetic for almost destroying Liyue and using the man who was going to kill him to pay for his funeral. What a power move?? And you’re telling me you don’t see him being a smug prick. I love Zhongli’s story quest where everyone is saying “oh the first mora was treasured or it holds mythical powers” and Zhongli is looking at them as if they’re idiots. 

tyty (❤´艸｀❤) I’m blessed to have you here. Oh, I hope you did well on your midterms tho and be sure to rest. I am a bit late to replying to this so hopefully I caught you before your break was over.

Always lovely hearing from you,

Pengu

[hectabdr]

Dragon Raja IV - Chapters 11 & 12 (Abridged)

Hi everyone!

Today's chapters are a little slower than the previous ones, but they have a lot of insight on Nono, Luminous and the nature of their relationship. I also kept more of the original dialog for the same reason.

BTW, this is the point where the illustrations suddenly stopped for some reason so... No more drawings :P

Previous chapters.

Chapter 11

A girl waited in the top lobby of the Black Prince International Financial Center. At 21 years old, Tu Xiaojiao was already known as the "Sophie Marceau of China". She was in that building to meet the legendary "Master Shao", the inheritor of this powerful organization. If anyone else in the world made Miss Tu wait for more than half an hour, she would leave the place immediately, but Mr. Shao was different, he could offer her the role of her life, so she decided to stay in the waiting room.

When the receptionist finally allowed her to enter Shao's office, she found him next to the window, reading a poem out loud. She had to wait for him to finish for fifteen minutes, her high heels started making her feet feel numb, wondering if he was mocking her, Shao didn't even notice her presence. To her dismay, once he finally saw her in his office, it didn't make much of a difference, since Shao only had one topic in his mind, his adored senior was back.

Miss Tu tried to be polite, and asked to know more about this "senior" girl. When Shao was younger, he had a girlfriend, she was actually one year younger than him, but she demanded to be referred as his senior and he obsessed over her for the rest of his life. He even showed miss Xiaojiao a picture of himself and his senior back when they were a couple. Tu Xiaojiao was confused, in the tiny photograph, there were two children, one looked like Shao and by his side, there was a girl who seemed completely indifferent towards him. This was cut from a kindergarten group photo, and he carried it in his wallet ever since.

Shao had everything at his disposal since he was born, his focus in the entertainment industry was nothing but a hobby. He could visit any place that he wanted, he could buy any piece of clothing and of course, he could date some of the most beautiful women in the world. But he didn't want any of them as his wife. The woman of his life had to be someone who would make him beg for her affection, someone who would make him kneel in her presence. The only woman who could make that to him, was Chen Motong.

Every time that Miss Chen came back to the country, he felt like a five year old all over again, but getting her heart wouldn't be an easy task. She acted cold and demanding, when she arrived he asked her out for dinner but she just wanted to borrow a car from him and left. He heard about an Italian man, apparently her boyfriend and he couldn't learn anything else about him, it was driving him crazy, but he received some information that brought some hope back into his eyes. Miss Chen had a friend in town, and he was in the hospital. Shao left his office with Miss Tu in it, on his way to meet Mr Luminous.

Young Lu was also disheartened because of Nono, although, his reasons were different. His 91st attempt to save her also ended in failure. When he realized that they were once again going to die, Nono desperately tried to make him react, but he lazily waited in the car seat for the whole scenario to restart, frustrated and annoyed, as the gravity of the situation slowly became less palpable. He looked to his side and saw Nono's face looking at him. Her expression was as ruthless as ever but in her eyes he saw deep sadness, he almost felt like hugging her before they died but the simulation ended. To him, death meant that he would have to start all over again, but for Nono, every single time it meant a genuine end.

To interrupt his depression, a young, short, overweight man entered his room. He called himself a friend of Miss Chen and Luminous thought for a second that she sent him there to get him out of the hospital, but Shao was there to speak.

He started making questions, in particular, who was this Italian scumbag that he heard about? Tragically for him, Luminous spoke highly of Caesar's fortune, personality and actions, and to make matters worse, he wasn't only Chen's boyfriend, but her fiancé.

A depressed Shao proceeded to tell an anecdote from his childhood. When he was studying in the United Kingdom, Shao felt belittled next to ehe aristocratic children that studied with him, so he started bragging about his own family's wealth and promising other kids money for listening to him, when he tried to show off in front of Nono, she beat him up and told him to call her "Senior Sister".

The school's Rugby matches also got violent, Shao played aggressively, so the other kids retaliated against his attitude by deliberately kicking him in the face and hitting him with the ball. His front teeth got broken as there was no coach present to stop them. He sat down on the grass, defeated, when Nono took his place in the match, she fearlessly rushed into a defense of fifteen boys while Shao swore to his heart that one day he would marry that girl, even if he had to kneel and crawl in front of her.

Shao compared himself to the protagonist form "The Great Gatsby", who desperately needed to be with his love interest, Miss Daisy.

-Why should a girl be with a man who needs her?

She should be with a man she needs. My senior sister doesn't need me, I am the one who needs her.

Before Shao left, Luminous reminded him of a scene in "Journey to the West" where Tang Sanzang found a silly monkey who lived behind a waterfall. The cowardly monkey recognized Tang's strength and left his hidden home to follow him around the world. There are two types of monkeys in the world, the smart ones that can survive out there on their own, and the silly ones, who need a master they look up to.

Shao understood his metaphor and he felt encouraged. Realizing he could trust the strange mental patient enough to untie one of his hands, Shao gave Luminous a can of beer and they toasted. When Shao left, Luminous took a syringe from the side table and injected himself with more sedatives. This was his 92nd attempt.

Shao returned to his office, motivated and lively.

-I met a new brother today!

He encouraged me to come back here, he's a philosopher and his words are very touching!

People living in mental hospitals are all experts in this kind of stuff.

He realized that he left without saying goodbye to Miss Tu, but his apology wasn't answered, because the girl in his office was Nono. She was drinking, looking tired, she didn't wear any makeup and silently stared at the window.

Shao was determined to win her over, but Nono answered most of his questions briefly and coldly. She didn't want to speak with him, she was just there to return the car keys and now she wanted to leave.

Shao's pitiful voice tone softened her attitude a little so she asked him for some gin with ice. Nono drank the whole glass in one sip and asked for a refill. She had another glass, and another.

- Senior sister, is someone bullying you?

- Who could possibly bully me?

- Usually no one, but aren't you engaged now?

- Caesar wouldn't do that, don't worry about it, just take care of yourself.

- Are you really going to marry an Italian? Those guys spend their money so recklessly!

- Could you give me a better reason not to marry him? Who are you to say those things? Stop messing around and just confess your intentions.

- I'm your boyfriend from kindergarten! If you gave me a chance instead I could be endlessly more confident and...

- You? "Endless"? Nono was so angry that she laughed.

Shao Kneeled and asked Nono to be his girlfriend instead. He kneeled in one knee, so she asked him to kneel on both like he used to, and he did, but not for begging, he used to do so as punishment. Nono didn't like his subservient attitude.

- We were just classmates, I was wrong to treat you so hardly, but you don't have to hold on to me, I am engaged and you could marry just anyone.

Shao kept begging, Nono deflected every single one of his arguments until he recited Luminous's "Journey to the west" reference. His delivery was incredible, but she had no reaction to it, she looked at her glass with tired eyes. She got up on her feet and entered the elevator.

After she left, Shao was avidly celebrating, he interpreted her reaction as progress and showed off in front of his employees.

Nono stopped at a small ramen restaurant to warm up her rain-soaked body. Chu Tianjiao was her last clue and she lost it. If Luminous was actually sick, why didn't she give up on him yet?

Why did she feel the need to insist on his case? This wasn't only about her, every moment she spent in the middle of nowhere, escaping from the secret party, she got Caesar in trouble. How was she supposed to explain this to them?

She had to admit that she cared too much about Luminous's well-being. She wouldn't doubt to give him her diving suit, she immediately called him last year when she and Caesar were overwhelmed by Scythe ferrets to warn him of the impending danger and now that the whole world was against him, she kept insisting on proving his sanity. Regarding his feelings for her, she comforted herself with positive thoughts. Who didn't have a crush on a senior girl at some point in his life?

Zero was great for him, so was Isabelle, if she had known Erii in person, Nono would have considered them to be "such a fucking perfect match".

Over the last few years, this petty boy had grown up, he became more energetic, better dressed and gained so much experience, yet he kept holding on to her. She left Shao's office without saying a word because she recognized those words belonged to Luminous. They were about Luminous.

- Chen motong, you're such a fool, you messed everything up.

Chapter 12

An exhausted Su Xiaoyao leaned back on her office chair, she had spent a long day on work meetings and in the middle of the night her phone kept ringing. This was her life ever since she had to leave school to take over her father's business. She had gained some weight ever since but no one really cared, she was still one of the top bachelorettes in the city and she had just accepted a blind date, excited to take a break.

During the student reunion, seeing Luminous made her cry a little. It wasn't because she used to have a crush on him during their high school years, she just realized that those carefree days would never repeat themselves. Back in the day, she and the other girls used to sit on the basketball courts to see Luminous play basketball. Even the air felt different.

Su took her high heels off and put her feet on her desk to take a quick nap, but her phone interrupted her attempt to display an urgent text message. It was Liu Miaomiao, her old rival in love.

- Su Xiaoyao, find a way to get here, quick! They put our senior brother in a mental hospital!

Game level: Gungir light, 101st load.

- So, where did you get that rocket launcher again?

- I found it under the seat...

The whole fight seemed extremely rehearsed by now, Luminous always knew exactly where to shoot, it almost looked like he could predict the future.

- Did you learn that in your special training? I want to take that special training too!

Nono slowly became the most problematic element in the simulations, she didn't retain her memories after every attempt like he did. This was probably the first time Luminous felt something other than absolute admiration towards her, she became a little annoying, but he couldn't really blame her. They got in the car and tried to escape, but one of the tires was damaged.

- Are you hungry? I just found some nuts in this car!

He knew Nono was trying to calm him but he was still a little anxious, he repeated the steps to replace the tire in his mind but the car-wheel escaped his hands and rolled over the highway.

His tantrum surprised Nono, who dropped her snacks all over the floor. Ming·Z paused time and got out of the car.

He noticed that Luminous asked to reset his last six attempts instead of waiting for his death, he seemed far more tired than usual after his conversation with Shao, it made him reflect about his feelings for Nono to the point of getting distracted in battle.

- First of all, I'm not the only monkey that she brought out from the waterfall, second, I am the one who needs her, she doesn't need me.

- Brother, I expected you to regret going to Cassell College, you wouldn't be so sad otherwise.

- I don't regret it, if I hadn't gone to Cassell College, I wouldn't know my senior brother nor my senior sister or the boss, nor would I know Finger, the Japanese "Lonesome George" brothers... And Erii.

Luminous ignored Ming·Z's snarky remarks and got a better hold of his feelings.

- I always ran after my senior sister, I like her so much that it makes me very sad that I can't be with her. Caesar was born with everything, he could have married any girl he liked but he picked the only one I cared about.

Suddenly I realized that I'm wrong, that was just wishful thinking on my part.

There are more people for me out there, Erii liked me, but Nono was the only one I had eyes for. Nono doesn't need me, I'm the one who feels at ease when I follow her, like she'll feel relieved when she marries the boss. She wouldn't feel like that if she were with me and to pursue her is to act on my most selfish side, why did my senior brother support me?

- Your senior brother wasn't that upright, don't you think?

- Finally, are you willing to admit that he's real?

- Okay okay, Johann Chu really does exist, but there is something wrong with him and you need to get him back"

- Then I'm relieved.

Ming·Z confirmed more things, the city was closed on all exits due to the weather conditions and the Nibelungen was invading their reality on a large scale.

- Thank you, Ming·Z·Lu. Why do you call yourself Ming·Z? You deliberately used my cousin's name"

- No, my name is Ming·Z·Lu, there has always been a Ming·Z·Lu in your life and that's me, not the fat boy in your uncle's house.

Luminous went back to the car, picked the dozens of floating snacks and put them back in Nono's palm one by one.

- Sister, don't worry, you will be fine, I will definitely find a way, I changed my mind, I will attend your wedding, I'll see you in your white dress holding orange flowers, walking on a red carpet full of happiness... Maybe you should throw the bouquet in my direction.

Three girls were sobbing next to his bed when he woke up, Chen Wenwen was the first face he recognized, followed by Su Xiaoyao and Liu Miaomiao. Su was one of the most influential persons in town, so she demanded that her old classmate got released from the hospital.

They took him out on a car and decided to stop on a luxurious bar. They all felt a little insecure about what they were wearing, so Su Xiaoyao asked her driver to bring them their old school uniforms.

Sitting at the bar, after multiple drinks, the girls kept reminiscing of their old days in high school, Luminous past in this reality was the same as Johann's, including his Saxophone recitals at the cultural festivals. He used to envy Johann so much back then...

He stood up and told everyone that he was going to the bathroom, but he changed back to his normal clothes and got out of the bar. A man with a motorized tricycle was waiting for potential passengers outside and Luminous gave him his expensive watch as insurance for borrowing his small vehicle.

He drove all the way to the Number 10 highway and entered the Nibelungen again. Odin was waiting for him far away, he didn't say a word but he slowly raised his lance. Luminous turned around and left the god's prison.

Back in his old apartment, Finger had befriended Luminous's aunt and kept doing shores for her. Nono came back to the place and they argued about their course of action.

- If I had known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have rescued him from that theater.

- Feels like you stepped in bubble gum and you can't take it off.

Finger suddenly left the room and came back with the news, Luminous had left the hospital with three old classmates. Nono grabbed an umbrella and ran out. She knew the bar and she knew about Su Xiaoyao, they weren't going to be hard to find.

By the time she arrived, the three girls were arguing after Luminous left. They actually tried to blame each other, the way they admired him was surprising to Nono. Suddenly, Luminous came back and justified his absence by saying that he went to a convenience store to get something to eat.

Nono watched them from the dark, feeling really stupid, there was a strange obsession that she couldn't let go of. In fact, she should have driven away the silly monkey that pestered her long ago, the more she helped him, the more he would rely on her. This wasn't good for any of them, but she couldn't bear to refuse.

She was afraid that he would end up crying alone in the wilderness, where no one could listen to him. She hoped that one day he could become one of those smart monkeys who run around happily, but maybe this silly monkey was smart from the beginning and she was pitying someone who didn't really need her.

She strolled under the heavy rain, her clothes were soaking and stuck to her body, it was a long way back to the uncle's house but she wanted to walk alone. She felt colder and colder and for the first time in her life she missed the Golden Iris Academy. She felt like going to a ramen stand again but there were no businesses in sight, however, there was a phone booth.

One call, that's all she needed to give away her location, Caesar made her memorize an emergency number long ago, it was the right thing to do, the person she should trust the most in this situation was not Finger or Luminous, but Caesar. Dialing felt like betraying her old classmates, but she started pressing the numbers.

"No, no, no, no, no, don't be like this, don't be like this"

Subconsciously, she looked aside and saw a small boy in the rain, looking at her from the other side of the glass. What was such a young boy doing out there on his own?

He was delicate and beautiful, like a porcelain doll.

- Are you looking for me? She asked.

The expressionless face of the boy slowly got horrifyingly distorted by the raindrops on the glass. She couldn't breathe due to an overwhelming sadness, so she opened the door but the boy was not there anymore. She took the calling card out of the booth and hanged up the phone.

Rome, Italy.

Caesar was waiting in front of a phone, he was under a lot of pressure, but the moment he received Nono's call, all of his problems would be over, yet the phone was silent.

The family elders felt like Luminous had stolen something that belonged to their heir, so they suggested that he cancelled his marriage.

- No, there are only two people in this world who can dissolve that engagement, Nono and me.

To avoid being put under heavy suspicion, he had to act calm and decisive, like he did a few days ago, when he released the monsters from the ice cellar to find the fugitives. Parsi entered the room and informed Caesar about the worsening weather conditions in Beijing, this type of climate phenomenons usually signaled the awakening of powerful dragons.

Luminous, the never-existing Johann Chu, the grim reaper, it was all starting to make sense. Caesar instructed Parsi to prepare his private jet and his desert eagles, he also dissuaded Parsi from going with him. At the lionheart club, president Babru informed the former president and dragon slayer Abdullah Abbas that Caesar wanted to team up with him to hunt the dragon down.

Intrigued, Abdullah accepted and instructed everyone to get ready.

To be continued, final update on Monday.

[obxlife]

To Me (Rafe x Reader)

A/N: I swear this is like the millionth Rafe request I’ve gotten lol. Tbh I love it, keep them Rafe requests coming. Btw the song recommended by anon was amazing! I totally recommend all of you listen to it. Also, I’m not really sure if I portrayed Rafe very well, but oh well. I still like this fic.

Pairing: Rafe x Reader

Word count: 4,076

Request: A Rafe fic where him and the reader dated for a while and broke up because his attitude got overbearing and they run into each other at a party or something? And like he can’t take his eyes off her. I’ve been listening to the song “To Me” by Alina Baraz and it put that kind of imagery in my head

Summary: After two months of hiding away from everybody (and kind of regretting the fact that you ended your last relationship), your best friend manages to pull you out of bed and take you to a party. However, you obviously run into your ex. And from there things only seemed to escalate. 

Warnings: Swearing, underage drinking, a bit of angst (if you squint your eyes), mentions of drug use.

TO ME

It’s been a while since you heard from me

I stay alone

Protect my energies

Found a little love

Lost my sanity

(Can we do it over?)

And then one day it just came to me

(Can we do it over?)

Camille walked into your room, scrunching up her nose. She saw you under your covers, scrunched up in a ball, unmoving. 

“It stinks in here,” she remarked. You stuck your head out from under your duvet and looked at her as she began to pick up the trash around your room (mostly chocolate wrappers, empty ice cream tubs, and tissues) and tidy up. “How long has it been since you last went out?”

You sighed. “Twenty minutes. I need to go to the kitchen for some food.”

Camille gave you a hard look as if you signal that your answer was not exactly what he was looking for. “I mean, how long has it been since you left your house?”

You tried to think if you had even left your house recently, but came up empty-handed. “I guess… since the breakup, yeah.”

Camille groaned. “Oh, God. Are you serious?”

You tried to glare at her, but ultimately knew she was right. You had no excuses for being cooped up in your room anymore. 

“Look,” she began, taking a seat next to you on the bed. “I know you loved him. And I know you miss him. But it’s been two months already. And, let’s be honest, towards the end he was being a bit overbearing.”

You gave her a soft smile, thankful she hadn’t even mentioned his name. 

She was right. Your best friend was always right. 

You sighed and told her so, smiling as she did the same. 

“Okay, so now that you have decided to be a normal human again,” you made an offended noise at this, “Will you please go to a party with me?”

Your eyes widened. “What about baby steps? This would be my first time going out again! I can’t just immediately jump into partying!”

Camille gave you her famous puppy eyes. “Please,” she begged, “Austin is going to be there and we were flirting earlier today. Just do this for me!”

You sighed. “Wouldn’t people find it weird if I just start partying around again, like old times? It’s almost as if I didn’t even grief over the end of my year-long relationship.”

You put an emphasis on the last words of your statement to make your point, but Camille quickly disregarded this. 

“Trust me,” she assured, “Nobody will think that because he began to party two days after you guys had called it off.”

“What?” you screeched. Hearing this information pained you. “Really?”

Camille nodded sadly. But then she beamed at you. “But, now you can show up looking super hot and be like ‘Him? Pfff.’ So, maybe this is better!”

You laughed at your friend’s antics to cheer you up. She had managed to convince you (once again) about something you weren’t sure about. This was exactly the dynamic that had always been part of your friendship. 

You pretended to groan, although you were actually excited to go out and see your friends again, and said, “Fine. I’ll go. But I’m only doing this because you begged me to.”

Camille shrieked in joy. “Yes, yes, yes! Okay, now hop in the shower because I wasn’t lying when I said that you stink.”

Standing up and moving towards your bathroom, you threw a snarky remark at her over your shoulder before asking her to pick out an outfit for you. With that, you jumped into the steaming water. 

I'm not asking for too much

I'm asking the wrong motherfucker

Just 'cause we're in love

Doesn't mean that we're right for each other

Can't keep makin' a home out of you

Just 'cause you're asking me to

I'm not asking for too much

(Can we do it over?)

Once you began to wash yourself off, you began to imagine possible scenarios of what might go done during the party. The one that scared you the most was running into him. 

To be honest, the relationship had been amazing. At first, you and him were so completely infatuated with each other. You guys were having sex (which was amazing), going on dates all the time, being honest with each other, everything. But then, he turned eighteen. And his dad began to bug him about joining his business.

He began to push you away. he was stressed and all you wanted to do was help him and love him and show him that he was doing fine and that it was okay. But he didn’t want that. He began to do drugs - not weed, but harder stuff. Stuff that scared you and made him act out of place all the time. Stuff that made you afraid of him. 

But then, every time he was sober he would make it better again, and promise that he would never do that again and that it had been the last time. However, next time always came around and the cycle repeated himself.

In an attempt to take his stress out on other things that weren’t drugs, he began to pick fights with the kids from the Cut. You had begged him to leave them alone. To stop going around and punching them. He just wouldn’t listen.

And then came the screaming. He would scream and scream and scream at you for hours on end. And you took it. You thought that the screaming was better than him taking all of those drugs and punching all of those kids. You thought that the screaming was better than him driving around on his motorcycle, pissed off at everything, and risking the chance of having an accident. 

In public, both of you put up a facade of the perfect couple. He was trying to make his dad proud by having a stable relationship. He was trying to prove that if he was mature enough for a stable relationship he was mature enough to help out with the business. And all you wanted to do was see him happy, so you kept the facade on in front of everyone. 

Your friends would all compliment you on the amazing boyfriend you had. But when you finally had the courage to tell them what was truly going on behind closed doors they urged you to escape. But they didn’t understand. Couldn’t they see you loved him? Couldn’t they see that he just needed your help?

However, they would turn these questions on you. 

“Can’t you see that loving him is hurting you? Helping him is hurting you, Y/N!”

You wouldn’t listen. All you wanted - no, all you needed - was him. And you had him. And since he wanted more than only you, you were helping him in every way possible to achieve that. 

Five months after he had turned eighteen, however, he did something that made you change your perspective on your relationship. This screaming match, in particular, had begun just like any other. 

He was drunk and high off his ass, and you were begging him that this was the last time he would do this. He began to scream out that this kept him grounded, getting high made him feel normal and better and amazing. He said that being high made him feel better than you had ever made him feel. As you began to cry, he kept throwing out words that felt like punches to your gut. And then he finally said it. The one thing that had scarred you in your past, and he was using it to get at you. 

“Maybe you were the reason your mother left you.”

After that, he walked out of your room, leaving you on the floor, chocking on your sobs.You had called Camille over, and as she rocked you back and forth you came up with a decision. This was the last time. This was the last time Rafe was going to use you as he had in the past three months.

The following day you went to the Cameron residence. Rafe met you at the door, and when he leaned down to give you a hug, you stepped back. 

Rafe frowned. Normally, you wouldn’t even expect an apology for what he had done and hugged him back.

“We need to talk,” you told him.

He nodded. “Okay. What about?”

You sighed through your nostrils, closing your eyes for a small second. “About last night.”

Rafe’s frown deepened. You had never wanted to talk about his episodes before. You had always ignored them and moved on. You had ever since he had shut you down the first time you had brought them up. 

Tears were prickling your eyes because you still loved him after everything he had done. But you had realized that you loved yourself more. 

“I can’t keep doing this, Rafe,” you spoke out, your voice breaky. “I can’t keep helping you and ignoring the pain that it brings me.”

Rafe shook his head, not believing that this was happening. “No, don’t say that.”

“How do you want me not to say that?” you belted out. “I’ve been exerting myself every day and every night to help you through all of your issues. And I’ve had to go through your screaming at me and taking drugs and making me worry. And I’m done.”

Rafe kept on shaking his head, tears falling down his cheeks. “No, baby, please. I love you. I’ll change, I promise.”

You scoffed. “That’s what you always say.”

“But I do. I love you. And I know I can change. Just give me a chance.”

You shook your head and sighed. The tears that had fallen down your cheek were now trailing down your neck. Rafe moved forward to wipe them, but you stepped back. “I know, Rafe. I love you too, but that doesn’t mean we’re made for each other.”

Rafe remained quiet, the hand that had attempted to reach out to you still extended in the air. 

“And even if I love you, Rafe, I need to protect myself. You’ve brought me a lot of pain.”

Rafe tried to make things better. “Y/N, baby, I swear I’ll make it better. I’ll get off the coke and I’ll talk things out with my dad.”

You just shook your head. “I’m sorry.”

You turned away, your back facing everything you had once wanted. 

“So that’s it?” he called out, desperately wanting you to look at him again. “Everything we went through down the drain.”

You continued to walk away. 

Here's to

Good people, good nights

Good highs, good health

Some tears, some stress

But I count my blessings

Here's to

Good music, great sex

Little time to feel alive

Little time to get it right

You hopped out of the shower and dried yourself off. 

Camille had picked an outfit that was perfect. It made you look great and it was really comfortable. 

You let your mind drift off as she did your hair and makeup. You didn’t really mind whatever she did. 

You both hopped into the car, Camille behind the wheel and you in the passenger’s seat. You placed your bag at your feet and stuffed a vodka bottle inside. Once you stopped at the house where the party was already in full swing, you gave Camille the bag and she passed you the keys. You were not about to get drunk when still grieving from a breakup. 

Walking in, you scanned the room. The couches were all covered in bedsheets and pushed into the walls. The porch was littered with drunk teenagers, some talking, some dancing, some throwing up and some grinding on each other. 

Camille grabbed onto your hand and pulled you through the house. You finally ended in the kitchen where your other friends stood. 

“Y/N,” Abigail screamed when she saw you. Ruby and Annabeth turned towards you, hugging you tightly. “We thought it would be another month before we saw you!”

You laughed and joked around with them. “No, Camille managed to pull me out of bed. But I’m glad I came. I’ve missed you, guys!”

With that, shots were poured from the vodka that was in your bag into four glasses, which they all drank quickly, begging you to join them. You simply denied their advances and stated that you were going to rive them home. This shut them up (you knew they always went to parties with no drives back to their places, so you knew this would keep them quiet).

After two more shot rounds your friends dragged you to the dance floor, where music was playing loudly and made your heart thump with its rhythm. 

You felt eyes upon you but tried to shake that feeling off. Not being able to do so, you looked around for who might be looking at you but didn't realize who it could be. 

Rafe had turned away from you when he had noticed your search. He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of you. 

He thought you looked amazing, and his heart clenched at not being able to wrap his arm around your waist. 

The break up had been hard on him. But he was determined to keep the promise he had made you. He had stopped doing coke the day you walked away. He had talked to his father the day you had walked away. And he had headed out to parties he didn’t want to go to in hopes of bumping into you. 

He wanted to be better for you. He didn’t want to be the source of your pain as you had stated he had been. He didn’t want to be damaging you more than helping you. But that had been exactly what he had done. He had broken you down and hurt you more than he wanted to admit. 

You looked better without him. He knew that for sure. There was a smile on your face as you jokingly threw it back on Camille - a smile that hadn’t been there with him for the last months of the relationship. A smile that he hadn’t witnessed in moths. A smile that lit up the room where you were standing, with a loght so blinding that it made his heart clench. 

How could he have let himself go as far as he did? As far as to push you away from him?

Rafe stood from the couch, his desire to be closer to you consuming him. However, he stepped further away from you towards a spot on the porch that was empty. A spot where he could think in peace and fall into his own self-pity. 

You, on the other hand, hadn´t even thought of Rafe. You were so busy dancing and having fun with your friends that there was nothing else in your mind at the moment. 

Camille had left you with Ruby, Annabeth, and Abigail as she had gone off into a room with Austin, but they were slowly branching off from you as they searched for their preys of the night. Deciding not to get involved with any boys (you did not want to have a rebound), you headed towards the kitchen to get a cup of water. Then, you turned towards the porch, where it would be less stuffy and easier to breathe.

Walking out, you tried to find a spot that was empty or kind of isolated. After two full circles around the porch you decided to stop next to a guy that seemed familiar to you, but you couldn’t recognize because his back was all you could see. However, looking down at his polo shirt you knew exactly who was in front of you. Rafe. 

You tried to silently walk by him, but just as you placed your foot down to walk away, he sighed and turned towards you. His eyes widened to almost twice their size, and you were sure your eyes looked the same. 

“Um, h-hey,” you spoke out, trying to be polite. You cleared your throat, as it suddenly felt even dryer than it was back inside while you were dancing. 

“Hey,” Rafe said softly, not believing that you were actually talking to him. He nervously put his hands in his pockets (a habit you knew all too well) before asking, “How are you?”

You stepped closer to the railing and brought your cup up to your lips. Then you placed your arms on top of the railing of the porch and looked out towards the water that surrounded the house. 

“I’m good,” you answered, lying. In all honesty, your heart was racing in your chest and your hands were so sweaty you could feel the cup you held slipping from your hands. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m good, I guess,” he spoke out. He wasn’t expecting you to stand next to him at all. In fact, he was almost certain that you were going to try to escape from him as soon as he responded to your greeting. 

You both fell silent, not really knowing what to say. When had your relationship turned you into this? Into strangers?

Before, even when things were bad, there would always be some form of communication flowing between both of you. Wether it was a soft whisper, small talk, screams, or moans, you were never quiet around each other. So, feeling awkward and wanting you to know how much he had improved recently, Rafe said, “Um, I wanted you to know that I stopped dealing coke. And doing it, as well.”

You turned towards the blond you knew so well. A smile adorned your lips as you felt proud of him. “Really? When did that happen?”

Rafe felt weird talking about this around you. Wiping his hands on his pants, the only reason he could think as to why he had stopped was you.

“The day after we broke up.”

Silence fell over you once again before you said, “I’m proud of you. And happy for you.”

Rafe nodded, looking down at his hands. His thumbs were twidling around each other. Next to him, your fingers gripped onto your cup, as to avoid any fidgeting. 

“Thanks,” the green-eyed boy said truthfully. “I also spoke to my dad.”

You almost gasped in surprise. “When? How did it go?”

Rafe turned towards you and was surprised to find that you were already looking at him. He stared into your eyes, getting lost in their depths, and turned forward once again. 

“The same day I stopped doing coke. And it went well - or as well as it could go. But we dealt with everything that had to be dealt with.”

Now your smile was consuming your features. You were afraid to do so, but you softly took his hand in yours and gave it a light squeeze. Then you let him go. 

“I told you things would get better if you spoke to him.”

Rafe nodded. He always knew that you were right, but his fear had kept him from doing all of those things you used to beg him to do. But then, after his biggest fear came true (which was losing you), he pushed his temors aside. He would do anything to make you happy, even if you were not with him. 

Clearing his throat, Rafe said, “So, what’s going on with you? How’s life?”

You knew you had to lie. You were not about to admit that you had spent two months locked in your room because of the fear of seeing him. You tried to rake your brain as to think about what to say. 

“I haven’t been up to much, honestly,” you began. That wasn’t a lie. “I’ve mainly been hanging with the girls and just going to the beach and stuff.”

That was a lie. But he didn't need to know that. Instead, you asked him, “What about you? I’ve heard you’ve turned into a party boy.”

Rafe laughed, noticing the teasing tone of your voice. 

“Ugh, please don’t remind me. Most of them sucked.”

You furrowed your brows. You had thought he had been going to parties to have fun, but it seemed as if that hadn’t happened. 

“Why did you keep going to them if they sucked?”

Rafe breathed in and held the air inside his chest. This was the opportunity to steer yur conversation towards your relationship. 

“I was hoping I would run into you,” he admitted. Rafe was afraid to see your reaction so he turned away from you. Instead, you whipped around towards him, trying to see if there was sincerity behind his eyes. 

“Oh,” you replied bluntly and stupidly. You cleared your throat and stood a little straighter, akward again. 

Rafe sighed before deciding that this was probably going to be his only chance to truly speak to you. And he was sure if this conversation ended, he would never get a chance like this one again. 

“Look, Y/N,” he began. “I kept my promise. The one I made when you were walking away. And I’m actually trying to keep it.”

He paused, taking your hand in his. You turned to him again, staring straight into his eyes. “I know I fucked up big time. And that I hurt you. But I’m trying to be better for you. Like really trying.”

You weren’t pulling away from him, but you weren’t showing any emotions either. He tok your other hand in his, standing straighter above you. 

“And I know that maybe we aren’t meant to be like you said, but when we were together it felt right. It felt good. It was amazing. And I miss that. I want that back.”

You were slighty shaking your head as tears began to gather at the corners of your eyes. 

“So I don’t really care if we are or aren’t meant to be because I want to be with you. And maybe if we grow together we will eventually be meant to be. I want to try to be meant to be with you.”

You were shocked and weren’t responding. Rafe took this as a bad sign and let go of your hands. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a step back from you. “I just wanted you to know that.”

As he began to walk away you realized that this was the kind of reassurance you needed from him. He loved you enough to let you go. He loved you enough to make himself better for you. He loved you enough to be the best version of himself as possible. But now he was walking away because he thought you didn’t want him anymore. But you did.

“Rafe!” you called out. “Rafe, wait!”

Walking towards him, you wrapped your arms around him. You hugged for what felt like an eternity. The music was thumping around you and kids were making out with each other but you and Rafe felt like it was only you right now. 

“Rafe,” you said. Your hands were on his face as you pushed a little away from him, staring into his eyes. “I love you. And I’m willing to be with you if you are willing to be the best version of yourself.”

He nodded vigorously. 

“No, Rafe, listen to me before you agree,” you laughed. “I know that the best version of yourself, the one you were before you turned eighteen, is the person that is meant to be with me.”

Rafe nodded vigorously again. 

“I need you to try and find him.”

“I’m him when I’m with you.”

You smiled at him. You could see a future with this Rafe. The Rafe that was clean and that had a good relationship with his father and that was collected and calm. You knew that this didn't mean that being back together with him wasn’t going to be easy, as he would always have this part of his past, but it was definitely going to be better. It was going to be better than if it was with anyone else. 

You leaned forward and kissed him, feeling his lips respond against yours. You pulled away and smiled at the man in front of you. He was everything you wanted and more. And he was trying his best for you. And that was all that mattered. 

[quietmyfearswith]

narcissist {carter baizen x fem!reader} 1/3

narcissist {carter baizen x fem!reader} 1/3

status — ongoing series

warnings — cursing, mentions of drug and alcohol intake/abuse, attempt at angst

word count (without the lyrics) — 1,995 words

a/n — so this is for @baezen’s the other guys writing challenge and my prompt was alcohol is the only constant in my life; the prompt will be italicized and bolded btw ! i was listening to narcissist by no rome and thought that the song fits perfectly with carter baizen and the prompt as well fit well into the story ,, listen to the song here if u want ,, feedback is appreciated and hope u guys have a lovely day !! :> y/f/n = your full name

masterlist | series masterlist

Took a picture of all my flaws

Or you can take a video on your phone

And you know that I would talk

But I'm too afraid to pick you up and go home

The ding of the elevator signaled me to step out of the elevator, and I did with a sigh — frustrated with the website that was opened up on my phone. Upon entering the penthouse, I headed for the master bedroom where the subject of the article is currently passed out on his bed.

Knocking three times, “Carter, you up?” My question was met with silence; despite this I still went ahead and entered his room. Clothes laying on the ground, a few beer bottles and shot glasses on the coffee table near his television, and his keys and wallets placed on his bedside table — the indications of how he had spent the night before; by hopping on from bar to bar and purchasing any kind of drink that had alcohol in it. At least this time he’s alone and not someone he had just slept with.

Approaching the side of the bed, I shook his back that was not facing me, hoping that this would wake him up from his deep slumber. He groggily groaned, turning to look at me with his sleepy and tired state, “Oh hey, Y/N. What time is it?”

I put my down and phone bag on the ottoman that was at the foot of his bed and looked into his walk-in closet for an outfit that would make him look decent and not look like he got dragged and passed around by people, “Well it’s way past time for you to correct your actions since people have already been talking about the stunt you pulled.”

This probably confused him as he sat up and tried to rub off the exhaustion he felt, “Can you be more clear with what you meant with that? Also, I really am curious about what time it is.” Going back from Carter’s closet — which happens to be made of glass and mirrors — and placing the down his outfit which consisted of a two piece Burberry suit that consists of a checkered maroon suit with a matching plain, maroon slacks and laying it down on the bed, “The time now is 9:28 in the morning,” I reached for my phone and shoved it to him with the website I have previously read still opened, “And this is what I meant when I implied that damage control was too late.” 

His shirtless upper body hit the back of the headboard as he began reading the content of my phone, “Spotted, Carter Baizen spending his earned wealth at various bars and clubs late last night. You may have previously known him for being the resident bad, playboy that you see in your school, but now just when it was starting to look like he was getting his act together, he reverts back to how he once was when he was a reckless teenager. I guess some old habits just die hard, don't they? You know you love me, xoxo, gossip girl.”

I laughed at the disgusted face Carter made after he finished reading what had got me annoyed earlier, “Well, at least I’m living my life well. Not compared to this jackass loser who keeps on documenting and reporting the lives of others since theirs is probably uneventful.”

I'm feeling Dazed like a magazine

Finding my own sanity

Wishing it'll all go away

Now we're smoking off the balcony

You're telling me profanities

Maybe it was never okay

“For fuck’s sake, Carter, do you not see the bigger issue here? It’s not just about how there is some loser out there talking about the life of others. But it’s about you how you are living your life! You are now a CEO, a fucking CEO! I don’t think business partners would be eager to make transactions and ventures with someone who acts as if they had just gotten their license and are now going out every chance they can to enjoy this privilege!” Carter looked at me coldly and was about to argue back but I continued to give him my two cents, “On top of that, I  think as well that the frequency of your alcohol, and possible drug intake is alarming, as well. And it's gotten to the extent that I feel like you should be seeing a professional to help you cope with this.”

I concluded my statement of concern and alarm by folding my arms together and looked at him seriously. Carter stood up and headed for the bathroom, I followed him and leaned by the door as he was washing up his face and waited for his reply. He stared at me through the mirror as he was drying his face, “I appreciate your concern, I really do. But I think you’re overreacting a little bit.”

I threw my hands up and scoffed at disbelief, “Seriously, Carter? Do you not recall the various times wherein I had to pick up your drunk or high ass — and by the way, there are some instances wherein you’re both high and drunk — from whatever bar you were misspending your money on.”

He turned around to look at me and crossed his arms — in annoyance, I presume — and fought back, “So what if I get blackout drunk a few times? It happens to the best of us! Have you not enjoyed yourself completely and just passed out from exhaustion from spending a night out? Oh wait, you probably haven’t! Which explains why you’re so fucking uptight!”

With one hand massaging my temples, I managed to remind him in a calm tone, “Did you forget what happened two months ago?”

345, that's where we stayed

She told me I'm a narcissist doing it again

Took a bunch of acid and she told me, "not again"

Now I've gotta tell her that I'm lovin' her friends

345, that's where we stayed

She told me I'm a narcissist doing it again

Took a bunch of acid and she told me, "not again"

Now I've gotta tell her that I'm lovin' her friends

My dreams of riding a unicorn while eating cake was suddenly interrupted when a loud ringing woke me up. Stretching my hand and patting for my phone on the bedside table. Recognizing how I had an incoming call, I swiped to accept it even though I was not awake or aware enough to check who was calling. “Hello?”

“Is this Ms. Y/F/N?” a woman asked as soon as I greeted her, I took a second to check my phone and only then did I notice how it was an unknown number that called me, “Yes, this is she, who’s asking?” My bones had suddenly become frigid in anticipating what the girl on the other end had to tell me. “Well your information was listed on one of our customer’s wallet and we had to call and let you know that Carter Baizen has passed out from drinking which resulted in him collapsing on the floor, head first.”

I let out a grunt as I put the call in speaker mode and got off the bed to throw over a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, “Was he with anyone when he was drinking? And is he unconscious? And what address is your bar, by the way?” I was already outside my apartment and headed for my parked car by the time she had replied and given me the information I asked for.

Curse words and frustrated mumbles were leaving my lips as I was driving around the city, hoping to get to Carter faster and in time to prevent any unfortunate event from happening. Upon arriving at the bar, I was already opening my door before I had even parked my car and stormed inside the establishment.

“Hey, I was called in earlier for a patron who passed out and fell head first?” I approached a girl who was mopping floors near the entrance door, she nodded and told me that she was the one who called me and led me to where Carter was. They were kind enough to move him from the floor and lay him down on one of the booths.

I quickly took in his state — there were a few buttons of his long-sleeved polo that were unbuttoned, there were faint traces of alcohol in his shirt and face, while there was also a bit of blood residue from his head wound as a result of collapsing from the floor. “Thank you for calling me right away and for taking care of him, but I was wondering if you or another staff would be willing to help me bring him to my car?” the girl nodded and called for one of their male employees to help me bring Carter in.

That night was probably the most nervous and anxious I have ever felt; knowing that Carter could possibly be facing health problems from drinking too much and hitting his head. Seeing him this way has always affected me and has made me feel responsible for his well-being — not only because I was hired as his assistant, but because I was the only one who managed to tolerate and be with him for this long time. 

Fortunately enough, the doctor ruled that there was nothing currently wrong with his liver and kidney following his night of over intoxication. But that didn’t mean that he was completely out of the woods; I was warned of how if he spends more nights like this, it could probably lead to the failure of his organs to properly function. To add even more salt to that wound, he informed me about how Carter hitting his head was also dangerous and that it could have resulted in a serious head injury — but that wasn’t the case in this scenario. The medical official also told me that Carter was lucky for it did not lead to any complications and that he should be safe from it as long as he drinks responsibly and moderately to avoid these things from happening again.

And I've been seeing somebody

But I've not found a way to tell you

That I'm seeing somebody

There's not a nice way for me to say that

I've been seeing somebody

You know I want you to be happy

Since I'm seeing somebody

And then maybe we can get on with it

“You know, you don’t need to bring up what happened every time?” He said as he walked past me to grab his clothes and get dressed. I rolled my eyes and sat down on the ottoman as I stared at him, “I don’t need to? That’s where you’re wrong, Baizen. The only reason why I keep bringing it up is because — guess the fuck what — I’m the only person who gives a fuck about you! I’m the one you call every time your ass is too drunk to drive or when you’re high as the fucking clouds! Or if you can’t call, guess who’s name and number you have written down in your wallet? It’s mine! So yes, I bring it up every fucking time since I don’t want you to seize your night so fucking hard that you end up deceased the next day!” I angrily let out.

He was done dressing up by the time I had yelled out my grievances, “I’m sorry that I can’t stop myself from drinking or having a night out!” This unapologetic remark from him just angered me further, “Well then let me help you! Let a therapist or some other professional help you get through this! You don’t have to do it alone, Carter.” I reminded him as I stood up and put my hand on his shoulder, to show him how I was gonna guide him through this.

He pushed my hand away and walked towards his dresser and put on some cologne and began fixing his tie, “No, I don’t want your or anyone else’s help. Alcohol is the only constant in my life; it always has been and it always will be.” when these words have left his lips, I froze up in disbelief and hurt. I was there with him when he was struggling to establish himself as a businessman, saw his struggles and victories, and even outside of work I was the only who cared enough to make sure that he was fed and hydrated despite his busy schedule.

“What do you call me then?” I sadly asked him and this got him to stop his movements and turn to me. However before he could explain himself or go near me, I had already collected my things and headed to exit his room and suite, “Be at the office before 10:30 am, you have a meeting with representatives of the Eichner Enterprise at 10:30. The rest of your schedule will be emailed to you.” 

[kittymaverick]

It’s that time of the year again: Mystery Case Files Rewind Commentary

 I’m going to be putting these out in parts most likely, if not via edits, as I’m unable to buy the game at the moment. Spoilers below the cut.

1. YAAAAS IT’S VICTOR THE MOST INCOMPETENT OF THE DALIMARS. (Hey, wasn’t he a skeleton in the closet at one point?) My chances of retaining my sanity have increased dramatically.

2. “Did you know Victor is the clumsiest villain of the entire franchise?” Yeah, I’ve noticed. (Says the Master Detective who got captured and also buried by said clutz.) ...Shut up. 3. Queen: Hello Master Detective, so there’s this place called Hotel Victory which is trying too hard to NOT be related to the Dalimars-- Hello? Master Detective? Are you listening? MD: *Having flashbacks and reaching for the lighter in her pocket*

4. Queen: Yes, we think it’s Victor, the one who locked you up in his cottage-- MD: You Majesty, please... Queen: And totally caught you with a grave trap. MD: Stop rubbing that in my face, it was so many years ago... Queen: While his father Charles made you relive his childhood. MD: Actually, it was more than that, but I don’t want to talk about it. 5. Queen: Do write back and tell us how this investigation goes. You always write the best stories. MD: How I wish that were not the case. 6. Mannequin: I would help but I’m broken at the moment. MD: Yah no, stay down plz. Mannequin: I suppose I can try-- *starts crawling* MD: NOPE! STAY DOWN. Mannequin: *breaks* MD: ....That works. 7. ...Sheesh, have the Dalimars ever thought of moving AWAY from Blackpool? Is there any property here they haven’t touched at this point? 8. “Fusing their bodies with TV sets--” MD: NOPE. I’M OUT! PEACE. 9. Yes, check into the hotel where strange things are happening. This can only go well. (This is like... basic horror 101 mistakes) Oo! Stickers for each game on the suitcase! Speaking of, where’s my buggy? 10. *Opens suitcase* *Finds familiar suit with a rose lapel--* MD: NOPE NOPE NOPE. 11. *Opens door* *Electricity starts sparking* Me: REALLY? Terrible decisions with consequences ALREADY? MD: Hey don’t look at me I just open puzzle doors and find objects! 12. ...did they just obliterate the MENU? 13. ???: Oh, it’s you. Me: Hey, it’s... MD: .... Who are you? Me: Good question, not a lot of people standing against us survive-- Charlotte: DAMMIT IT’S ME, CHARLOTTE. Me and MD: Oooooooohhhhhh right. MD: BTW, Alistair killed Gwen, not me. 14. Charlotte: Yeah, we’re stuck in this rift of time until Victor figures it out. MD: ....I’m not sure what is more worrying, the fact that we are in a rift, or the fact that you are waiting for VICTOR to figure out how to fix it. Me: ...Does that make Victor a time lord? 15. Charlotte: Well I suppose it’s better if you figure this out if you want to get out. MD: .......You’re just going to stab me in the back, aren’t you? Anyway, I’m gone-- huh? Charlotte: You’re back? Aw, it’s like you miss me. MD: ...... Fuck, you really ARE your father’s daughter, and grandfather’s granddaughter, and brother’s sister-- YOU GET WHAT I’M SAYING. Me: Esta familia es loca. Charlotte: What is it with your fascination with us anyway? MD: EXCUSE YOU, YOU’RE THE ONES WHO WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE. 16. Me: Haven’t missed a single Dalimar reunion since you first met?... Actually, that’s true. You ARE like a part of their family. 8D MD: Kill me already. 17. Collect key fragments? Feel like we’ve done this before... Also ehehehe “key” fragments. MD: The story of my job. 18. The CRIME COMPUTER? This is ANCIENT. MD: It’s like seeing a computer that’s still running windows XP. 19. DOOR PUZZLES ARE BACK. ALSO THE BLOODY BOX WITH THE FACE. “You’ve found an item tied to this guest--” MD: IF ALISTAIR’S HERE, I’M TRIPLE OUT. 20. Charlotte: BTW, my sister and I need to go back. Me: You gonna tell her Gwen’s dead? MD: No you do it. Me: No you. Though experience say that death for the Dalimars don’t seem to last anyway. MD: *sighs* 21. Charlotte: HAHA I tricked you into giving me all the clues. Kthxbye. Me: Yeah, that.... MD: We totally saw that coming. 22. Victor: CHARLOTTE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? WE NEED EVERYONE IN THEIR SEATS FOR THIS TO WORK. PUT YOUR HELMET ON. Me: Oh hi Victor. MD: Did he just say SEAT and HELMET? Me: Oh yeah he did. MD: *RUNS* This is where the workthrough I’m watching ends. Might not be able to do any more of these things depending on my time, but for now enjoy what there is.

[tellmevarric]

So... the Far Cry 5 ‘good’ ending. Good being very relative term in this case. Obviously I have issues with it and given I’m nearing the end of my third playthrough (which would be kind of disturbing but is actually a result of having time on my hands the game not actually being that long due to the gameplay mechanics acting like a ticking clock with the main story missions - I dragged out 3 & 4 much longer because you could control when you did the main story missions better in those games... but I digress), I have been able to explore a bit and take in a bit more of what happens.

So, I have my own headcanons about the ‘good’ ending and because I write fic, I incorporated them into a bit of a fic featuring my Deputy Aaron Cartwright. Because it was easier for me to articulate them that way. Anyway, these are my headcanons only but they’re mostly supported by things that are said and/or shown in game or some external research done by me (re: the flowers they use to make the Bliss).

Cut for length, btw. And this hasn’t been edited much so it might be a bit rough. It was part of a longer fic but I may never get around to editing or publishing those bits.

It took five weeks to convince Joseph Seed that he was a true believer now. Aaron would consider it the best acting job of his life but one thing he’d become aware of as the days passed was that whatever Joseph had been before they arrived, he had well and truly taken a dive off the deep end now. He didn’t actually seem violent anymore and Aaron’s early defiance had been greeted with little more than disappointed looks and endless sermons.  Now, though, Joseph let him wander wherever he wanted in Dutch’s bunker and Aaron was careful in turn to stay away from the exits.

At least until now.

He’d found a secret cache of various medicinal drugs tucked away in the room he was using. He’d blessed Dutch’s paranoid soul that meant that he’d hidden things even in his own bunker, especially when he’d found the sleeping tablets. He’d taken several days to work through his plan and even do a couple of dry runs. He and Joseph split the cooking duties and the night he chose to act, he cooked a thick rich stew, something as close to his mother’s recipe as he could get with the supplies they had in the bunker. And into Joseph’s portion, he stirred the crushed sleeping tablets. There had only been three, which wouldn’t kill Joseph, but it would be enough for Aaron’s purposes.

Because in the last few weeks, he’d had time to think through what happened and one thing that had occurred to him very late one night about a week and a half after they’d arrived here – he’d been dosed with Bliss before and it had never worn off that quickly. The Sheriff had told him that. Sure, the brief exposures he had as he went about his business faded quickly but when he’d been properly dosed, no. And he’d been all but swimming in the stuff after Joseph had pushed over those vats. The first time Faith had dosed him, he’d been gone for days before they’d found him. Same with the second time. If what happened was to be believed then the Bliss Joseph had poured out at his feet had worn off in mere minutes. And frankly, Aaron didn’t believe it.

Add to that, those explosions – multiple – had been close. Close enough to cause fire and brimstone and devastation. Close enough that at least one of them, possibly more, was inside the valley. The radiation load they’d received must have been immense. They should have gotten sick within hours and stayed sick for days, maybe even died. But they’d both been perfectly healthy.

And the whole thing was just so… over the top. From his memory, there had been at least three, possibly four explosions within close proximity to or actually inside Hope Valley. A small, insignificant valley in the middle of Montana. Now, Aaron liked to think he was as important as the next person but that was overkill for one tiny county that had nothing of any national, let alone global, significance in it. If they’d been in New York or Los Angeles or Boston, sure. If they’d had a top secret government lab or something, then fine, he could understand it but Hope Valley?

Sure, there had been those radio broadcasts about trouble in the rest of the world but… the cult owned the radio stations. That had been in the briefing they’d had before they’d come here. So the only form of communication, supposedly from the outside world, came from cult-owned radio stations. The TV didn’t show anything other than cult broadcasts, phones didn’t work, the internet didn’t work… really, no one had any idea about what was going on outside of Hope Valley. And the clown in the Oval Office might be an idiot but Aaron didn’t think everyone was that stupid and hadn’t some of the Joint Chiefs already said they’d disobey if given that kind of order?

All in all, Aaron was convinced that if he opened the doors of the bunker, he wasn’t going to find the world in a state of devastation. Of course, if he was wrong, he’d look like an ass and probably die pretty quickly but he was willing to back his gut on this.

So, he waited. He lay in his narrow camp bed and waited, listening to Joseph stumble to his own bed and fall onto it. He waited then for another twenty minutes then he got up. He knew where Joseph had stashed his weapons and it was the work of a moment to smash open the lock and get them out. He then made his way to the exit and stared at the doors. He squared his shoulders and drew in a deep breath then unlocked them and pushed them open.

He squinted as bright sunlight flooded in and blinded him momentarily, before climbing out of the bunker and looking around, shaking his head with wry amusement. Not only was he right, their sense of time had gotten completely out of whack down there. The sun was high in the sky and around him was green grass, trees and plenty of life. Not a single sign of nuclear holocaust.

He snorted and turned back to the bunker. There were a lot of things he should do right now but the first thing was to make sure Joseph Seed couldn’t cause any more trouble. He swung the doors to the bunker closed and after a quick search, found a thick, solid branch that he shoved through the handles as a makeshift lock until he could find a better solution.

Only then did he dig out his radio. “Sheriff Whitehorse? Anyone else? This is Deputy Aaron Cartwright. Is anyone there?”

For a moment, there was only the quiet hiss of radio static then he heard the Sheriff’s amazed voice. “Rook? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me, boss,” Aaron said with a sigh as he leaned against a tree.

“Where the hell are you, Rook?”

“Near Dutch’s bunker.” He hesitated for a moment. “He… he’s dead.”

“God damn,” the Sheriff said with open regret. “And Joseph Seed?”

“Trapped in the bunker,” Aaron replied.

“Come up to Fall’s End, Rook,” the Sheriff said. “We relocated there. The National Guard arrived a couple of weeks ago. I’ll tell ‘em to keep an eye out for you.”

“Yes, sir.”

Aaron tucked his radio away and started jogging along the track. It seemed like a different time since the first time he’d done this and he supposed in a way that was true. Last time, he’d been a little lost, a lot worried and feeling hellaciously out of his depth but still willing to do what he could to un-fuck the situation, as Dutch had put it. Now, he just wanted a beer and some sanity… or as much sanity as the normal residents of Hope Valley could provide.

He hadn’t been on the road that long when a National Guard truck pulled up alongside him and a fresh-faced young guardsman jumped out and ushered him into the truck. Not long after that, they pulled into Fall’s End and as Aaron climbed out of the truck, the Sheriff walked out of the bar.

“Damn, Rook, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” the Sheriff said, gripped his shoulders tightly and smiling. “We had no idea where you and Seed had disappeared to and we feared the worst.”

“What happened?” Aaron asked. “And how long have I been missing?”

“Three weeks on the last. As for the rest…” The Sheriff gave him a nudge in the direction of the bar. “Head inside and get yourself a beer, kid. I’ve just got to sort out a couple of things then I’ll come in and we’ll talk.”

Aaron assumed at least one of those things included Joseph Seed and he was happy to leave that to the Sheriff. He did shake his head at the three weeks though. He could have sworn it had been five but then down in the bunker there had been really no way of accurately telling the passage of time and he suspected Joseph had been fucking with him more than just a little. He pushed open the door of the bar and walked in to find the Pastor there, along with Mary May. They both beamed at him as did Hudson and Pratt when they came down from upstairs.

“Hot damn, Deputy,” Mary May said. “We thought you’d gone and got yourself killed by Joseph when we didn’t hear anything from you.” She pushed a beer towards him. “On the house, Dep. We got new supplies in last week.”

“Thanks,” Aaron said wearily, accepting the clap on the shoulder from the Pastor. He grabbed his beer then Hudson and Pratt lead him over to one of the tables and had him sit down. They joined him but no one said anything until the Sheriff returned.

“Now, Rook,” the Sheriff said. “What happened from your point of view? From the moment Joseph stepped out of the church.”

Aaron took a long swallow of beer then he wrapped his hands around the bottle and stared down at it as he began. “He started talking about the end of the world and blah, blah, blah. Then he said that since I killed his family, he’d take mine. I turned around to find all the friends I’d made here high on the Bliss and holding the three of you at gunpoint. He then told me to choose what to do – basically arrest him or take you guys and leave. I indicated I intended to arrest him. He then tipped over a couple of vats of Bliss and that’s when things got screwed up.”

The Sheriff nodded but Aaron couldn’t tell what he thought from his expression. “Go on.”

“There was a fight,” Aaron said. “I got everyone back on my side and… we all subdued Joseph. Then… then a nuclear bomb went off. You got us all in the truck and Dutch told us to head to his bunker. There were more explosions, three, maybe four and it was like the end of the world. We got to Dutch’s bunker but crashed into a falling tree. You were all dead but Joseph was fine. He dragged me out of the truck and down into the bunker. I passed out and when I came to, I was handcuffed to one of the beds. Joseph went on and on about how he was right and then…” He sighed. “We… settled in. I basically tried to play along until I could get away.”

“You knew it was a Bliss dream?” the Sheriff asked.

Aaron shrugged. “Not specifically but it had occurred to me that it was all a bit over the top for a small valley in Montana that had been essentially cut off from the rest of the world. And it just suited Joseph so much. He’d predicted the end of the world and lo and behold, the world ended. That and I don’t recall Bliss wearing off that quickly.” He smiled wryly. “I figured if I was wrong, I probably wouldn’t have too long to regret it.”

The Sheriff chuckled. “That’s a point. Okay, let me tell you what happened. We all joined you to go get Joseph but there was Bliss everywhere. What you saw and heard at first tallies pretty close to what I saw and heard but Hudson and Pratt saw different things, as did most of the others. Then Seed really got us with that Bliss spill. We mostly just saw boogeymen and bad dreams, though a couple saw nuclear holocaust as well. Turns out those radio broadcasts were by a station owned by the cult being used to isolate people more by makin’ them afraid. Thankfully no one was badly hurt. Tammy and Tracey brought the Cougars and the Whitetail militia in when she couldn’t raise any of us and they got us out. Brought us here and looked after us until they could drag us all out of the Bliss. That was when we realised you weren’t with us. You had us worried, Rook.”

“Your friends have been damn worried too,” Hudson said with a small smile. “And the wife of that Nick Rye fellow has been threatening mayhem and murder if we didn’t find her daughter’s godfather.”

Aaron managed a weary laugh. “Yeah, she’s… small and scary.”

The Sheriff chuckled and got to his feet. “And she wanted you there whenever we found you. Hudson, drive him out to the Rye place and get him settled in. Deputy Cartwright, you are officially on leave for three days. Get some rest, let the Ryes fuss over you and then we’ll talk about what’s going on now the valley’s settled a bit.”

Aaron nodded and let Hudson nudge him out and into a truck. He leaned against the door and closed his eyes, though he couldn’t seem to keep his hands still.

“Sheriff’s been damn worried about you,” Hudson said after a few minutes. “We all have. None of us would have gotten out of this without you and we had no idea what that bastard was doing to you.”

“Preachin’ at me mostly,” Aaron said around a yawn. “Fuck but it was boring pretending to believe him.”

Hudson snorted with amusement. “So that’s what you did.”

Aaron nodded. “Yep. I think he’s gone even more crazy.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

Aaron turned his head a little. “What’s been going on here?”

“Well, after we all came to, the Sheriff headed to Missoula and called in the National Guard,” Hudson replied. “He left Pratt and me here to sort things out and when he got back with the Guard, he set them to patrolling the roads until we can round up whatever’s left of the Peggies. We closed down the radio station but it’s been reopened by some guy named Wheaty who was with the Whitetails. He and his people are broadcasting real news and some pretty decent music.” She glanced over at him. “The Sheriff needs to get back home though in order to coordinate things and… well, Pratt needs help. He’ll even admit that if you catch him at the right time. And I… I just want to get out of this hell hole.” She paused again. “I think he wants you to stay. He’s been talking to people here and they like the idea of a… Sheriff’s outpost or something in the valley.”

“They’ve never been ones for law enforcement in the past,” Aaron said quietly.

Hudson snorted. “And look where that got them. Besides, I think they still wouldn’t be too enthused if it was anyone other than you that the Sheriff was suggesting. These people like you.”

“The Sheriff know you’re telling me this?”

Hudson laughed. “Yeah, he does. He wanted me to float the idea with you so you’ve got time to think about it and also so you didn’t get blindsided by one of the locals, ‘cause I figure they’re going to be lining up to chat once the word gets out we’ve found you.”

They’d arrived at the Rye’s home and airfield by then and Nick had emerged, gun in hand and a wary look on his face that transformed into a wide, welcoming grin when he saw Aaron.

“Well, I’ll be damned! Deputy!” He turned and bellowed, “KIM! KIM! They found the Deputy!”

“Well, get him in here!” came the shouted reply from inside, closely followed by the sound of a baby’s yell.

Hudson was laughing quietly and she gave him a gentle shove. “You heard the woman, Rook. Get in there.”

Not that Aaron had much choice when Nick threw an arm over his shoulders and drew him inside, talking a mile a minute, mostly about nonsense. Once he was inside, Kim took over and Aaron felt like he’d been caught up in a whirlwind. A friendly, joyous whirlwind that saw him showered, in clean clothes, fed and watered and then ushered into their guest bedroom.

“You get some sleep now, Aaron,” Kim said. “You look just about dead on your feet.”

Aaron nodded then caught one of Kim’s hands. “Thanks.”

Kim smiled then leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “We’re the ones who should be thanking you. We’re safe now because of you. Now get some sleep.”

Aaron watched her go and closed the door behind her. He stripped down to his underwear then crawled into the soft, lovely bed. He was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow.

*****

Aaron had pretty much slept for most of his first two days of leave and when he got up on the third day, he found the house full of some very familiar faces. Even Boomer was inside, being made a fuss of by Jess, and he could hear Peaches yowling outside along with Cheeseburger rumbling and grumbling. He leaned in the doorway and just started laughing softly.

“Hey, Dep,” Nick said when he caught sight of him. He was pretending to look annoyed at all the people in his house but he wasn’t fooling anyone. Kim looked delighted and was proudly showing off their baby who was apparently happy to be held by anyone who wanted to. “We got inundated.”

“So I see.”

He was caught up in various greetings from the others and it took a while before he could sit down on the couch with Boomer resting his head on his knee. He scratched the dog’s ears and chuckled as Boomer yipped with happiness and drooled on his leg a bit.

“So what’s been happening?” he finally asked.

“Damn Peggies are on the run,” Adelaide said with smug satisfaction and the others nodded.

“With Joseph gone, they’re pretty much rudderless,” Grace added. “And disillusioned, some of ‘em. Didn’t much like that their leader up and ran off without them.”

“And without the other Seeds, there was no one to keep ‘em under control,” Nick said. “Some of the Lieutenants have been trying to maintain some sort of control though and it’s working better with some than others.”

“There’s still work to do,” Jess said, her face set and firm.

“Has the Sheriff told you what he’s planning?” Tammy asked from where she was leaning against the wall.

“Hudson mentioned it,” Aaron replied. “It’s got some support from what she said.”

“It has,” Tammy replied. “Even Wheaty’s all for it.” She smiled slightly and Aaron gave a sigh of relief. Wheaty had been harder and more suspicious since Eli’s death but maybe he’d been forgiven a little now. “You were here for us. You saved us. And you maybe understand this place now a bit better than most.”

“That’s if you want the job, dude,” Sharky said. “Don’t let the Man railroad you, Dep. That ain’t cool.”

Aaron laughed. “I kind of like the idea. I’m not sure people outside here would…” He trailed off, not entirely sure he knew what he wanted to say but the others started nodding.

“They wouldn’t understand why you did what you did,” Tracey said. “But we do. We lived with all this shit. We knew how bad it was and why ordinary measures wouldn’t work.”

“I’m still a Deputy Sheriff, you know,” Aaron said with a wry smile. “And at some point, the law has to prevail.”

“Yeah, but you’re cool though,” Hurk said. “Bet if you arrested me for being, you know, drunk in a public place or whatever, you wouldn’t make me sleep outside or nothing.”

Aaron chuckled. “No, Hurk, that’s what the cells are for. You sleep it off, I give you a lecture in the morning and send you home.”

“Aw, man,” Hurk said, looking crestfallen. “You sure I couldn’t stay for a day or two? Daddy gets real mad when I’ve been drinking.”

“Yeah, sure. Okay,” Aaron said, unable to conceal his grin.

Hurk lit up. “Yeah! Alright, man. See, I said you was cool and you are.”

Adelaide laughed and shook her head. “I’d suggest you don’t encourage him but… at least you keep him under some sort of control.”

“Aw, Mama,” Hurk said bashfully.

Adelaide rolled her eyes then fixed her gaze on Aaron. “So what happened, Deputy? We were all heading for Joseph’s compound to help you out then the next thing we know, we’re waking up from the damn Bliss.”

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure,” Aaron said. “I know what I perceived and I know what Joseph believed but what actually happened beyond going there to arrest him… I don’t know.”

“What you perceived?” Tammy asked. “What? You mean, like what Jacob did?”

Aaron shook his head. “No, this was the Bliss. I think maybe people become very suggestible under the effects of the Bliss.”

“Makes sense, man,” Sharky said. “Those flowers they were fucking around with are full of scopolamine.” When everyone stared at him with surprise, he glared at them. “I ain’t stupid, man. Those flowers are some weird form of Angel’s Trumpets. They’re full of scopolamine and other shit that can cause auditory and visual hallucinations among other things that suck. And god knows what those fucking Peggies had been doing to them once they started processing them to make the Bliss.”

“Add the Bliss to the fact that Hope County had been effectively cut off from the world and the cult owned all the radio stations and…” Aaron shrugged. “It’s easy to see how Joseph could have manipulated things into an end of the world scenario. That’s what I saw. Nuclear holocaust.”

“Damn, man,” Nick said quietly. “How’d you know it was fake?”

“Because it was overkill,” Aaron replied. “I don’t know whether Joseph was feeding me ideas or whether my mind did it to try and poke at me but… there were three or four bombs that went off… in a small insignificant county in the middle of Montana. Then everything was on fire, all the trees, even the animals, yet we were in a car, driving along and not feeling any of that heat, let alone being touched by it. I mean, for a start, if it was that hot, the tires should have been melting. Then somehow we had an accident that killed the Sheriff, Hudson and Pratt and yet left Joseph and me practically untouched. Then despite being exposed to radiation from the three or four bombs that had gone off, Joseph and I showed no signs of radiation sickness, which we should have started seeing within hours. Once everything calmed down and I had time to think… there were just too many inconsistencies. It made no sense.”

Tammy chuckled. “You mean Joseph couldn’t just have the end of the world, he had to have the biggest, most extravagant end of the world there possibly could be?”

“If he was whispering in my ear and influencing what I was seeing, then yep, so it seems,” Aaron said with a wry smile.

“What happened to him?” Tracey said with a glint in her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure the National Guard have dragged him out of Dutch’s bunker and have him in custody by now,” Aaron replied. “Mind you, I think he’s gone off the deep end as well so he may never make it to a court room except to be declared legally insane before being shipped off to a hospital.”

“He deserves more than that,” Tracey growled.

“Naw, this is good,” Nick said. “He’s going to be declared officially nuts and be locked up. He ain’t coming back and even if he did, his family’s dead. Kim’s spoken to a lawyer and they reckon that under the circumstances, it shouldn’t be too difficult to revert all the property the Seeds bought up back to the original owners now that there’s no one who officially owns it.” He grinned. “And I reckon the gov’ment won’t argue too much, given they did shit to help us.”

“We should even be able to spruce up a building to act as a police station,” Grace said, flicking a brief grin at Aaron.

“You’re all assuming I’m going to say yes,” Aaron said dryly.

“Well, ain’t ya?” Sharky exclaimed incredulously. “I mean, who’s going to look after Boomer and Peaches and ol’ Cheeseburger if you go?”

Boomer whined pathetically and gave Aaron an impressive set of puppy eyes and outside he heard Peaches yowl and Cheeseburger roar as though they’d heard and understood what Sharky said. He shook his head and laughed at all of them.

“Well, we can’t have them being abandoned,” he said with a smile.

“Hell, yeah,” Sharky yelled, pumping his fist with triumph.

“Stop that,” Kim said, smacking Sharky on the arm. “Don’t you let these idiots push you into something you don’t want to do, Deputy.”

Aaron chuckled. “It’s okay. I was pretty well convinced after Hudson spoke to me.”

“Awesome,” Nick said, his grin wide and happy. “Our daughter needs her godfather around.”

Aaron leaned back on the couch and just smiled. It wasn’t going to be easy cleaning up this mess but it’d be worth it to make sure these people would be looked after.

[coffee-for-himchan]

B.A.P’s reaction to you walking in on them crying

(A/N) I was just in the mood for something more sad/comforting, and had a quick idea of maybe typing something like this up. Everyone’s got days when they’re feeling low (I’ve been having those more and more recently), and I figured it sometimes might go to extents such as crying, even for our six cute strong warriors. 

P.S. Also, not using my gifs this time around because I have to write an important physics test tomorrow and have to study tons! (btw, if something goes wrong tomorrow, I’ll officially blame Zelo. “Howler” has been stuck in my head all day, distracting me from doing stuff as I just want to get up and dance, even though I don’t know how to)

You let the door to your apartment creak open, and stepped into the weirdly unlit hallway. He was home, you were certain, yet all lights seemed to be off. The silence that had taken over the place sent a wave of worry down your spine, and you had to tell yourself that everything was eventually fine - he wasn’t a five year old. He had to be somewhere here.

Knowing him, he was probably somewhere soundly asleep. His schedules had become close to unbearable in the past time, and often he’d just come home, greet you, and then fall asleep at the most random places. Literally, you once found him on the living room carpet. Just curled up there, sleeping like a kitten. And despite not having the heart to wake him up, you also didn’t want to leave him sleeping on the floor, so you gently shook him awake and asked what had happened, to which he just responded he thought the carpet looked comfortable, and, since he for some reason was already on the floor, he decided to nap for a little.

Yeah, maybe you should go and get him a sanity check, although what you really thought was necessary was an extended holiday. “Extended” meaning like a month. Or maybe two. But he couldn’t be allowed such fancy extras, and had to somehow manage without getting proper rest. You were determined to help him through this though.

When you got closer to the bedroom and peaked through the door, you in fact noticed his frame sprawled all across the bed, lying face-down on top of the covers. You were about to chuckle - about to let him be, and go heat up dinner before gently waking him and greeting him with a soft kiss, telling him he could go right back to sleep after eating. But as you were about to leave, a shaky breath escaped him, and taken back by surprise, you looked at him closely.

He wasn’t sleeping, you noticed just now. His breathing was rather hectic, and what seemed like quiet, repressed sobs escaped him every now and then. It didn’t take you long to wrap your mind around it - he was crying. And for whatever reason that had upset him to such extents, he was crying hard.

You had to do something about it.

-YONGGUK-

He was someone to bottle up his emotions rather than let them slip. He’d made it clear from the very beginning, as you’d never seen him crying. So you were a little taken aback upon realizing what was going on.

“Yongguk-ah.. Is everything fine?”

He was quick to respond, letting out an “ah” as he got into sitting position, facing you immediately and showing off his slightly bloodshot eyes.

If there was one thing you’d always admired about him, it was how honest he was with his thoughts, beliefs and emotions. Yes, he indeed bottled it all up on most occasions for various reasons - for example, simply not to bother others, or not to show he had weak sides too, just like everyone else did. But once he knew you’d seen him in this state, he wasn’t going to lie about it. You were important to him, and he thought you should know. He would face the fact you knew, and would let you see him this way, trying to convince you that you had nothing to worry about, but letting you take care of him.

“It’s nothing really,” he reassured you as you sat beside him, cupping his face and brushing a few strands of hair away, “I just got a little too caught up in emotions. It will eventually be fine.”

He didn’t oppose to all your loving touches, but didn’t clinge that much either. He knew you’d give him affection to the right extents yourself, and knew not to disturb you in doing so. He simply let his tears get wiped away by your thumbs, and responded only a little to your sweet, tiny peck of his lips.

“We can talk about it if you want to,” you told him, holding his face with both hands close to yours. He broke into a smile, silently thanking whoever in this universe was responsible for gifting him with you in his life. He, despite being rather intalkative on most occasions, was almost always up for pouring his heart out to you while you simply listened, without pressuring, judging or interrupting him. And this time was no exception.

“It would be amazing if we could,” he quietly told you, “Everything would be a little more on the good side once again, just like every time we talk it out. My problems always just magically solve themselves when I’m with you anyways.”

-HIMCHAN-

“Channie, are you crying?”

He was conflicted between throwing himself at you like a little kid and pretending to be asleep. But he figured you knew he wasn’t sleeping anyways, and denying the fact he was sobbing just a moment ago and continued doing so even now was useless. You knew, and even though he didn’t want to admit, you’d already seen his weak side more than once. This being another addition.

You sat down on the bed beside him, and waited for him to get in a half sitting position, leaning on his hands. His face was reddish and slightly puffy, and he was about to collapse back on the bed every second. Using all the emotional strength he had left, he looked at you, considering.

No, you wouldn’t judge him. You’d do as told, and would give him exactly what he needed, as always. All he had to do was ask.

“(Y/N),” he looked up to your face, smiling a little and chuckling. Letting out that type of laugh that indicated he was tired of everything, and wanted to simply fall asleep on the spot to let his mind rest.

“Can you please love me right now? Because I have troubles doing so myself.”

You were quick to catch him as his frame fell back in the bed, and simply wrapped him up in your arms. Knowing Himchan, he had to let everything sink in a little before you’d find out the reason. When his emotions had broken loose, they were all over the place and quite hard to collect. He, more than everyone, needed time. And needed someone to hold him, as he really hated being alone on these moments.

“You know I always love you. Right now isn’t an exception,” you said, softly stroking his hair as he’d found a comfortable position, burying his face in the crook of your neck, “But if you need a little more than usually, let’s see what I can do. I always have some extra affection in spare for you if you need it.”

“Thank you,” he simply said. He smiled and closed his eyes, feeling his heartbeat slowing down with every little ruffle of his hair that was caused by your hand. With every little stroke up and down his back, and every poke of your nose at his ear.

You were right where he needed you to be. Giving him some much needed support when he felt like collapsing. And he thought you were an angel for doing so. Oh, how he’d let you know about it. But later.

-DAEHYUN-

Boy, was he audible while crying. 

Daehyun tended to not show it because he was in fact convinced he was an ugly crier. He was more than convinced his pretty face made unusual and displeasing grimaces while shedding tears, and the worst thing about the situation? He was a singer, with a loud, melodic voice. And his cries came out just like a song - a really melancholy filled, cracked tune, cutting through the air every now and then whenever he took an a little too sharp breath.

“Daehyun-ah.. What’s wrong?”

The sound of your voice made him jump up a little, and made him snap back to reality, although not fully. Looking quite ugly while crying wasn’t his main concern here - he simply didn’t know how to act and what to do when there was someone around to comfort him. He knew he was vulnerable, and did feel a desire to just be scooped up in your arms and calmed down like a little kid. But he didn’t know if that was appropriate. He was a grown man, after all, even if it didn’t seem like it on most occasions. He had to keep it together, right?

“Hey, what’s up?” he turned around and sat up, seeing how you made your way to him and sat down next to him on the bed.

“I thought you’d be home later than this,” another tear slipped from his eye at the least appropriate of times, and he made sure to try his hardest to repress it, “But then again, I never know how to properly plan my time..”

It amazed you - the way he smiled through the tears, just to show you he would manage. But he didn’t have to manage on his own when he had you around.

He lightly chuckled when you threw your arms around him, and pulled him into a tight, loving embrace. He buried his face in your shoulder as you gently stroked his hair, telling him it was fine. More than fine, actually.

His arm eventually sneaked around your waist, and he pulled you into his lap, just for comfort purposes. He kept giggling all over the place, his melancholic laughter mixing up with the sharp inhales he took every now and then. But he tried to keep his attitude more or less positive, as the moment of self-pity was over. He had you around now to take care of him, so all would be fine, he was convinced. And your little phrases, some of them affectionate and some plain stubbornly absurd, but lovely, really made him feel god at heart once again.

He didn’t lift his face up to look at you until he’d calmed down completely, but when he did, you simply stared at the aftermath of crying hard, in the form of red, puffy eyes. And a smile, indicating you’d done your job well and there was nothing to worry about now.

-YOUNGJAE-

You weren’t sure how, but he’d somehow felt your presence.

“(Y/N)?”

“Youngjae-ah, what are you doing..” you asked, approaching quietly and carefully. He let out a mysterious sound - you supposed it was meant to be a lone laugh, but since he was still crying it came out rather like a mixture between that and a broken whimper.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he asked with a chuckle, his sad tone making your heart break into a million different pieces, “Washing my face. With my tears. Salt water’s supposed to be good for your skin, right?”

You knew him well, and were aware how he tried to hide inner devastation using sarcasm. Whenever he wasn’t just being annoyingly sarcastic for no reason, he tried to hide his worries with it. Truth to be told though, it never really worked, and you figured it was rather a coping than a hide-up mechanism.

“Should I leave you alone to do your facial then?”

He knew this tone. You were a little annoyed by his pushing-away nature, and simply wanted to help this time around while he was being a smartass. So not thinking much of it, he decided to let you take care of him today. After all, he knew you didn’t mind doing so. And he was allowed to act a little weak every now and then.

“I mean..” he started, trailing off a little as he turned his head to face you, his tear-strained cheeks giving away the fact he’s been shedding tears for quite a while already, “You can go. Or you could be nice and stay with me.”

“I guess I’m supposed to do the latter,” your sigh was nowhere being an annoyed one, and you gave him a little smile before basically throwing yourself at him, your bodies doing something like a barrel roll from one side of the bed to the other, causing him to let out a laugh. Everything would be fine now, as you were around. And you’d handle the situation, in a fun way.

“How’s this?”

“Almost perfect,” he admitted, holding you close. You noticed his frame shaking lightly, and were determined to do anything to stop it from doing so.

“And now?”

You pressed a soft little kiss on his lips, chuckling as you saw how he immediately melted under your touch, letting out a pouty sound at your too soon departure.

“It was good and then you ruined it.”

“Should I do it again?” you chuckled, lightly wiping off the last tears from his cheek. You already knew the answer, but you rarely saw him begging for affection like this. So you patiently waited, knowing you’ll be able to tease him about it later. Lovingly, of course.

“Yes, please.”

-JONGUP-

“Jongup-ah...”

“Mhm,” he simply let out, not even thinking of budging and moving his body. You’d come around. Nice. Now everything was even worse, as you’d see him acting childish and immature. Now he was even more of a weak, teary-eyed fail, and could let this be another addition to his already existing worries that brought him to this state.

Just nice. He wasn’t in the mood for this at all.

He thought he wasn’t at least, until he felt the bed sinking in a little and your frame pressing lightly against his, your upper body landing perfectly on top of his as you basically served like a human blanket, burying your face somewhere in the crook of his neck.

“Jongup-ah. Are you crying?”

“I am and that’s why you should go away,” he said, but his tone sounded far from fitting that type of sentence. You chuckled lightly, your movements, sending a wave of pleasure down his spine. What a kid.

“You sure don’t sound like you want me to go away,” you pressed a warm kiss on his bare skin, enveloping him in your arms completely and burying your face deeper. Gosh, was he comfortable.

“I can stay instead, you know?” you cooed softly, knowing all he needed was reassurance that it was fine. And hugs. Tons of hugs.

“We can do whatever, Jongup-ah. Whatever makes you happy.”

“So, like, hugs included?”

“Like ten of them, if you want to. Or maybe more than ten. Whatever feels comfortable and puts a smile on your face. I love your smile so much.”

You felt him chuckling lightly, and simply hoped you were on the right trail. He could be the person to avoid physical contact completely for days, just to come back one evening and hug the weekly dose out in an hour or so. He was often a mystery in his desires, so you simply told him to chose. You’d do whatever would feel best for him. 

“(Y/N)~~” he called, shifting, turning to his side and wrapping you up in his arms within a second. He’s shift and squirm for a while, making you chuckle at how he oh so desperately tried to find a comfortable position, but once he’d be all set up, he’d simply go silent for a while and enjoy your company. Not wanting you to go away at all.

-ZELO-

“Is everything fine?”

His head immediately snapped up, and he looked back at the door, realizing it was you soon enough. “I guess. I mean, nothing bad really happened. I just.. Got a little carried away with thinking,” he said, sitting up and facing you.

“Open your arms,” you instructed, making him chuckle as you said, “Use your advantage of being a long and flexible macaroni, please. Open them wide.”

He chuckled as he saw you preparing to jump right into his embrace, and caught you with a swift move, immediately burying his face in your soft skin, straining it with a few hot tears.

“Should I beat someone up?”

“What for?” he chuckled, shifting to hold you a little closer. Your behavior was so comforting - you weren’t shaming him, and weren’t worrying too much after he told you all was fine. You understood that literally all he needed was a mood lift. So you acted appropriately, joking around and lightening the atmosphere.

“For making you sad,” you told him, “And stop laughing. Love is something you have to fight for sometimes.”

“So if I tell you a two meter tuff guy made me upset, you’d go handle things in a one-on-one fist fight with him?”

“Without doubt or second thought,” you told him, causing him to laugh out loud, “He’ll regret all his life decisions.”

Silence filled the room for a while, and you simply listened to his beautiful last chuckles that lingered a little longer in the air.

“That isn’t an actual thing, is it?”

“No,” he laughed again at you sudden serious voice, lifting his head up and pinning it against yours.

“Good,” you said, smiling up at him and cupping his face with both hands soon, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Junhong-ah,” you told him afterwards, looking at him happily and biting your lip in amusement, “Why do you blink twice as much while crying? Looks like you’re trying to fly away with those eyelashes.”

He laughed once more, and felt truly happy at heart. That’s literally all it took you. A few funny comments, a hug and a loving kiss. And he was back on his feet, more or less at least, ready to conquer the world.

(I just had to finish it with a gif of happy Junhong. We all deserve to be happy after all, right?)

[inky-animatronic]

BATIM Fanfic: Stray Meets Stray - Chapter 1

Summary: After being attacked by Bendy, Sammy reforms and goes back to the Music Department to pace and think of a new plan. Then, he hears a noise and whimpering. Opening the exit door, he finds a dog with a chain slightly embedded into it’s neck.

Once he takes care of it’s wound, he takes it back to his office to keep it safe and sound. However, no matter how much he enjoys it’s company, he knows the dog isn’t safe there.

That’s when he thinks of his sheep that ran away. Surely he is still alive so… would he be able to keep her if Sammy helped him escape? It was a chance Sammy would have to take. Now it’s just a matter on whether the two can find him again…

Warnings: None. this is pure fluff between Sammy and a dog.

Rated: Ehhh it’s G but also T because swearing that is bound to come but it won’t be a lot.

Here’s a quick drawing of the dog in the fic: http://regularpsycho13.tumblr.com/post/169560743402/very-quick-drawing-of-something-used-the-same

This is gonna be a comic btw. First page may or may not be posted. 

Note: Well, this was the result of a picture involving Sammy and the anthro version of my fursona. This then resulted in a possible comic. The cover of which has a really rough sketch at the moment. Needless to say, I kept getting sidetracked last night with multiple things started. One of which is finished. That’s this.

Enjoy!

Sammy huffed as the last parts of him reformed. Bendy had attacked him instead of his sheep, who had gotten away apparently. He was confused. What did he do wrong? Why did his Lord attack him?

Once he knew he was as stable as he could be, Sammy got to his feet, put his mask on, and went through the other door in the Sacrifice room, up through the infirmary, before being back to the Music Department.

Should he try again? Maybe his Lord didn’t want that sheep… for some reason he wasn’t sure why. However, he’s not going to be able to find another sacrifice for a while.

“What to do….what to do…” He muttered as he walked around the lobby of the music department.

It hurt to be attacked by his savior. The feeling of pain and melting from his claws hurt more than…. than… gee. What did it hurt more than? Sammy didn’t remember much about his old life anymore. Only thing he could think of was when he was killed. That alone was painful.

And what Bendy did tonight was just as or even more painful than when he was killed by that… no. He didn’t deserve to have his named mentioned. Not even in his subconscious.

“I guess I could go look for Butcher Gang members down below. Try and sacrifice them… but then there was that angel that was angry at me. Not sure why though.” Sammy mumbled possible ideas to himself. “Or maybe that sheep didn’t get himself killed just yet…”

As he paced around the lobby, muttering to himself, he tried to think of a way to make his Lord happy again so he could set him and the others free. But… it seemed like he was a little…too happy about killing him. Or attempting to anyway.

Perhaps he has been following a false God all along. Maybe he wasn’t going to set him free and just attack him all over again. Next time Sammy may not get as lucky as he was tonight. The puddles was the last place he wanted to go back to.

“Why can’t I be free!?” He shouted. “What did I do to deserve-” Whimper.

Sammy stopped pacing at the odd yet somehow familiar noise. Listening carefully, he soon heard another whine and a scratching noise.

Looking at the exit door, he tilted his head. Was the noise coming from there? It had to be. He never heard a Searcher make such realistic whining sounds. Cries maybe, but not whimpers.

For a moment, the noises stopped. Sammy wondered if he lost more sanity after being attacked and was just hearing things. Right when he was about to walk away from the door, the scratching came back with a even louder whimper. Someone was on the other side of the door, and they wanted inside. Badly.

“Foolish creature.” Sammy said. “It’s stupid for wanting to come in… wait.”

There was something he remembered. Through this door was a hallway and some more doors. One had a staircase going down as well as up to the main floor along with a few floors above it. Another door had a staircase that led you to a emergency exit. And other rooms for animators or the band to store their instruments.

…How did a dog, that’s what he’s assuming it was, get inside the building? It would’ve had to go through a door somehow. Or maybe a window that was by the emergency exit. Nevertheless, it shouldn’t be there.

The whining continued and Sammy just so happened to glance down and saw the stairs were flooded…again. Assuming the door wouldn’t open due to the ink, he went and pulled the pump real quick.

As he did, the dog became startled when it heard the sudden noise. Sniffing the floor, the scent that it smelt had walked away. Whimpering again, the dog laid down on the floor.

Poor thing was freezing. No one in the studio, but Henry, knew that it was Fall now. The weather, while still pleasant, was getting cold. Especially now that it was nighttime.

It trembled and curled up, trying to keep warm.

Suddenly the floorboards creaked loudly, jolting the dog from it’s own thoughts about what to do. Listening, it heard footsteps coming down what seemed to be stairs. Sniffing again, it realized that the sent came back!

The door opened with a loud creak and the dog sat up excitedly, hoping this human was a good human and not a bad one. Not like it’s owner that it had ran away from.

It’s old owner had kept it on a chain outside day in and day out. It was a heavy chain on it’s smaller body. The lack of a dog house didn’t help the situation. What did help was the blanket and water bowl. Fortunately, It wasn’t used for breeding due to being fixed at some point.

The man did starve the dog though, to the point that it’s ribs were showing slightly. But being alone made it….well, lonely. At some point the man took the chain off and told the dog to scram. Not losing this chance, the dog obeyed and ran as far as it’s legs could take it.

After many weeks of being a collard stray, the dog came across a older building. Sniffing the ground, there was a lot of scents in there. Maybe one was a good human? There was so many… one had to be good. Just one.

It took a while, but the dog found a opening through a window and squeezed it’s body through. Finally feeling better since it was out of the cold and cruel night.

However, it was still shivering as it wandered through the halls and stairs, going to the closest scent that it caught. But then there was a door keeping the one from getting to the other.

Getting up on it’s hind legs, it started scratching and whimpering at the door. That scent was close. SO close! It just had to get the other’s attention. It could hear what sounded like a man talking on the other side.

Eventually the man left and that’s when the dog laid down. Right before getting startled back onto it’s paws as it heard a loud noise before the floors and door creaked as it opened up.

In the light, the dog saw the ma- wait. That wasn’t a man…

Whimpering again, the dog cowered and backed up until it was against the wall across from the new creature it never saw before.

It had never seen a person looking so black and….wet, maybe? It’s face was also strange though the dog recognized the clothing. It’s old owner wore something similar.

Sammy pulled his mask to the side of his head so he could get a good look at the fearful dog.

The dog was smaller, maybe 40-50 pounds. He could see it was grayish with some darker gray on it’s back, ears, muzzle and back paws. It had stunning blue eyes. And it had some white on it’s chest, stomach, front paws, and tail.

Overall, it was a mutt with it’s one pointed yet still a little floppy ear and it’s completely flopped over ear.  He didn‘t have a clue as to what mix it was.

Then there was the collars that the dog was wearing. One seemed to be a basic black leather collar and a chain choker above it. Both wrapped tightly around the little one’s neck.

“Poor thing.” Sammy slowly bent down to it’s level. “Will you let me take those nasty things off you?”

In response, the dog whined and curled up tighter. As Sammy crawled over to it, knowing that a cornered dog could attack easily even though it really wouldn’t matter in this case, he continued to speak softly. Even singing a lullaby-type song.

He noticed the dog seemed to of liked his singing when it’s tail began to wag slightly. It even rolled over a little so that it was on it’s side.

“I suppose I should check your gender, hm?” Sammy said, now kneeling beside it. Glancing down, he could tell from how it was laying that the dog with him was a female. “Ah. You’re a girl. Heh. I used to have a dog as a kid. Sister and I loved her till she died. Her name was Lucy.”

Lucy Lulu… been a long time since he thought about that dog. Hell, he was surprised he even remembered he had a sister or the dog’s name!

“Lulu.” The dog gave an alert look. “Do you like that? Lulu?”

She barked in response. The dog did like that name. She wasn’t sure if she even had one anyway. So it was nice having one now.

Gently, Sammy took the chain and the collar off of the dog and rubbed the parts where the chain started to embed into the soft neck.

“Must be painful, hm?” Sammy hummed, noting the ribs that he could see.

Fortunately, the neck didn’t seem too badly damaged. He might have some bandages in the infirmary that he could use for it.

“Come.” Sammy patted his knee as he got up and walked through the door.

While hesitant, she did follow and Sammy shut the door again once she was on the stairs, waiting for him to follow.

Since the dog seemed to be small enough to be picked up, he wanted to carry her down to the infirmary but didn’t want to cover her in even more ink than he already did.

“Follow me, Lulu.” He patted his knee again and she obeyed by following him down the hall and then down some stairs.

Once in the infirmary, Sammy got some bandages and a towel. He also found what might be some medicine for an infected wound. Sitting the on the floor, he picked Lulu up so she was in his lap.

Then he got the towel wet with the medicine and wiped it along her neck. She cried out, possibly from pain, but he kept singing to her the same song from before since it calmed her down moments ago.

Once her wound was clean, he wrapped her neck with the bandages.

“There. That should be better.” Sammy said, finishing up.

Lulu had stopped crying once he put the towel down and bandaged her neck. She was feeling a lot better now. But she was still hungry.

They sat there for a while. Lulu in Sammy’s lap as he pet her ear, being careful not to get ink into it. It was relaxing and got his mind off of things. That’s when he remembered that it was pretty common knowledge that petting dogs or other pets were good stress relievers for both the human and the canine or other animal.

But he was not a human anymore. He could tell the dog was petrified when she first saw him. But now she didn’t seem to mind. If anything, she liked his hideous prison of a body.

“Then again… I’m probably the first person to treat you decently in a long time, huh girl?” Sammy said, not being so insane that he thought dogs could talk. He wasn’t that far gone just yet.

In response, the dog rolled over to her back with her belly up.

“Ah. You want belly rubs, Lulu?” The dog’s ears perked up and she wiggled in his lap. Sammy chuckled. “Alright.” He began to rub her belly.

This was the kind of company that Sammy didn’t mind having. But he knew he couldn’t keep her here. He had no way of taking care of her.

Plus, it was clearly cold out. Maybe Fall or Winter since the dog was cold when he first touched her but has since warmed up. So he couldn’t kick the dog outside and hope for the best. She found a way in one time and could probably do it again anyway.

Luckily, she wasn’t very old. Maybe 2-3 years.

But that made him want to help her even more. She was young and clearly full of life despite her rough beginning. He didn’t want to watch her die or kick her out and hope she made it to a safe place.

“Sheep sheep…. Sheep.” Sammy stopped what he was about to sing and stopped rubbing her belly too. “…That’s it.”

It’ll be dangerous but…. That was it.

That Sheep from tonight, he had to be alive still. If Sammy found him and convinced him that he wasn’t going to sacrifice him anymore, maybe he’ll trust him enough to let Sammy lead him to a exit. All he wants in return is for the dog to have a good home.

Right now, he didn’t even want to be set free. He just wanted the dog safe and sound. I mean, who could say ‘no’ to such a cute face?

He still didn’t recognize the sheep but he feels like he knew him. Chances are that he’s a good guy so maybe he’ll keep her.

“It’s gonna be a scary journey throughout the studio but we got to find him. He’s still here…somewhere…” Sammy said, noticing the dog was back to laying on her stomach.

Lulu wasn’t sure what the strange man meant but she hoped they could rest for a little bit. And get some food. Did he even need to eat or sleep? She wondered.

“Hmmm.” Sammy hummed. “I think all we have is bacon soup but… it’s better than nothing. Hopefully you won’t get sick off of it.”  

Before doing anything, he had to get something in the dog. Hell knows how long she has gone without food already.

“Come on.” Sammy set her down and stood up.

She quickly followed him up the stairs and over to his office. Opening the door, he gently pushed her in and shut the door to keep her safe. Luckily the searchers didn’t dare go in there.

Lulu whined in a confused way but figured he would be back. The room was warm and much better than the cold outside.

So she went and laid down by the desk, waiting for the man to return.

Several minutes later, he opened the door with two bowls. After kicking the door shut with his foot, he walked over to her and set them down. Looking inside, she saw water and food.

“It should be cooled down now.” Sammy said, sitting with his legs crossed and watched her begin to eat.

He was just really hoping it wouldn’t make her sick. He checked the ingredients on the back and from what he could tell, they were all safe for a dog to consume. He was also happy that he knew of a room with running water that didn’t have ink mixed in.

As he watched Lulu eat, he began to think of a plan. The sheep, if still here, had probably gone down below. Which means he’ll have to find him and possibly run into the angel in the process.

Sammy didn’t want to leave the dog here, so she’ll have to go with him. He just hoped she’ll stay by his side.

Then there was his Lord. He was still around. If he tried to kill him without a second though then… Sammy didn’t want to think about him killing a innocent dog for no reason.

The water bowl moving slightly brought him out of his thoughts. Looking in both, he saw they were empty and the dog sitting happily across from him, tail wagging behind her.

“Well, I suppose we have no time to lose. Let’s go find that sheep.”

In response, the dog laid down and yawned.

“…Or.” Sammy changed his mind. “We can rest for a while.”

Watching the dog curl up, he began to sing a lullaby. Soon, she was asleep.

[spnfamilystuff]

Confidence.

Request: Can I request a dean x reader where the reader is Deans sister and she comes out as gay? I've been thinking about coming out for a while now and I need something as a confidence booster? Thank you! Btw I love your blog!

Requested by: @heyyycasssbuttt

Tagging: @bloomingskulk @milligan-writes @youtubehelpsmesurvive @damiansbeloved

Pairing: Dean x Sister!Reader, Sam x Sister!Reader

Warning: If you’re homophobic or from this kind of crap, do not read it, you might have a brain! 

A/N: Sorry for posting this late! Was supposed to be last weekend! Sorry guys! Hope you like it, requests are open!

Words: +1K

We all get to this one special part of our teenage life where we start to know who we are, what we like, who we like. It’s not an easy phase to know who we like, if we’re into guys, girls, both, none...it’s not easy as we have to go through this alone, but when we do find out, we have to learn to accept it, to accept who we are; this should be the hardest part, but the hardest part is to tell your family, and when you’re a (your age) lesbian, and your brothers are hunters, coming out as gay isn’t easy. I see the struggle my brothers have to find love, what tells me that I will too? I have way fewer chances than them, and this is scaring me, I do not want to end up alone, I know I’m not going to grow old, but I do not want to die and never had found love, that is one regret I will never have on my death bed, no, no way that my last thought is about a love I could’ve had.

But for me to be happy and able to find love, I know I have to come out as gay to my brothers and it scares me.

I decide to get dressed up and go get breakfast. When I get to the kitchen there is already Sam, drinking coffee and reading God knows what on his computer.

Me: Mornin’.

Sam turns and looks at me.

Sam: Mornin’. How are you?

I take my cup of coffee and sit in front of Sam.

Me: Half awake. What you lookin’ at?

Sam shrugs. He’s looking for a case, a case that he doesn’t want me to get involved in it.

Me: What do you think it is? How many victims?

Sam sighs knowing that I wouldn’t give up on asking him or eventually find it out by myself.

Sam: I have no idea. In one week there have been five attacks. That thing kills people that are around a campfire in the forest or in the hills.

Dean comes in and hears half of what Sam said.

Dean: Well, what a joyful conversation in the morning, guys. Keep it up! 

I roll my eyes and look back at Sam.

Me: Give me your computer, two seconds.

I grab it and search for whatever this creature could be.

Me: It only happens in East of Tenessee, killing people around a campfire, in the forest or the hills? Hm.

You look at your coffee cup, tapping your finger on it, trying to remember.

Dean: What?

Me: I read something about it. In here, it says that victims that survived heard the monster scream before attacking them. But the police only found prints of paws of a cougar. It’s just... it reminds me something, I just can’t put my mind on it. 

You spent about ten minutes repeating it to yourself. “Forests and hills of East of Tenessee, campfire, screaming, paws of cougar...” Again and again, until Sam decided to call for Castiel.

Once Castiel arrived, Sam explained it to him and when you heard what Sam said you realized what it was, so did Castiel.

Castiel/You: It’s a Wampus Cat.

Dean: A what?

You: A Wampus Cat. Half woman, half cougar, it’s a curse. I do not know much about it, all I know is that one day some wizards were telling some sacred stories around a campfire, and she hid under a skin of a cougar, to listen to them but one wizard caught her and cursed her to be a monstrous cat, half cougar, half woman. Since this night, she is prowling in the forests and hills of east Tenessee and screaming to protest against her curse and swearing that she will get her revenge.

Dean: Great.

Sam: I guess she did.

You: I think she is just starting. I’m going to do some research about it. 

You take a notebook, and Sam’s computer and pour coffee in your cup. You start searching. 

You type “Wampus Cat” and read the first article.

“ The Wampus cat is often compared to the Ewah of Cherokee mythology, in that it was a woman who disguised herself in the skin of a cougar to spy on the men of the tribe, as they sat around the campfire with their wolf brothers, and told sacred stories on a hunting trip. When the woman was discovered, the tribe's medicine man punished her by transforming her into a half-woman, half-cat, who supposedly still haunts the forests of East Tennessee. The range of this creature has been tracked into the Carolinas as well. In folklore, it can be seen as one of a number of fearsome critters. In some sections of rural East Tennessee, the legend of the Wampus Cat takes on a more sinister tone. It is said that the Wampus Cat is a spirit of death and the earth, and when her cry is heard, it means someone is going to die and be buried within the next three days.”

You write it down and keep searching.

Sam and Dean were looking at you working.

Sam: She’s good at it.

Dean: Of course she’s good at it, she’s a Winchester. But no matter how good she is, she can get herself killed, Sam.

Sam: I know. But to be honest I rather have her hunting with us, than having her hunting alone.

Dean sighs, knowing that Sam was right.

You fall on another article, this one seems to have more details.

“They say that the Wampus cat used to be a beautiful Indian woman. The men of her tribe were always going on hunting trips, but the women had to stay home. The Indian woman secretly followed her husband one day when he went hunting with the other men. She hid herself behind a rock, clutching the hide of a mountain cat around her, and spied on the men as they sat around their campfires telling sacred stories and doing magic.According to the laws of the tribe, it was absolutely forbidden for women to hear the sacred stories and see the tribe's magic. So when the Indian woman was discovered, the medicine man punished her by binding her into the mountain cat skin she wore and then transforming her into a terrible monster - half woman and half mountain cat. Ever after she was doomed to roam the hills, howling desolately because she desires to return to her normal body.A man was hunting one night with his dogs when they both whimpered and ran off the path. At that moment, the woods were overpowered with a horrible smell like that of a wet animal that had fallen into a bog after it messed with a skunk. Then something howled on the path behind him and the man whirled around, dropping his rifle. His heart pounding with fear, the man found himself staring into the big, glowing yellow eyes of the Wampus Cat. The creature had huge fangs dripping with salvia. It looked kind of like a mountain lion, but it was walking upright like a man. Then it howled, and the man's skin nearly turned inside out in horror.With a scream of terror, the man leapt backwards and ran as fast as he could through the woods, the Wampus Cat on his heels. He fled to the home of a friend who lived nearby, and burst through the front door only a breath ahead of the creature. His friend slammed the door in the face of the Wampus Cat. Instantly, it started shuddering under the weight of the attacking monster. The man's friend grabbed his Bible and started reading aloud from the Psalms. Upon hearing the holy words, the Wampus Cat howled in frustration and then slowly abandoned its attack and went back into the woods.The man spent the rest of the night at his friend's place. When he went home at daybreak, he found his dogs huddled in the barn, shaken but still alive. The man never hunted after dark again.”

You look through the comments in case someone saw the Wampus Cat but fell on something else.

“ There has always been the tale of my Great-grandfather rushing home one night (in the 40s) out of breath with a face struck with horror. He had said he was walking along and the Wampus attacked him (in Knoxville). He said it took all his might and seemed like forever to fight the animal off. I never even bothered researching this story at all until now. I thought it was a name he had pulled out of the air to scare some people. No idea it was actual East TN folklore... “

You hum.

Sam: What did you find?

You: Someone’s great-grandfather fought the Wampus, but the comment is anonymous and from 2010. For all, we could know the grandfather is probably dead by now. Just give me some time to find more. 

Dean: Nothing on how to kill it?

You shake your head.

Sam: Maybe fire?

You: No, because fire is what actually attract it, I think that if it’s a curse...

Castiel: Only the magic that created the Wampus Cat--

You: --could kill it, or reverse the curse. 

Dean: Awesome! 

You: Still, we have the colt. 

You keep searching.

“ In Missouri they call it a Gallywampus; in Arkansas it’s the Whistling Wampus; in Appalachia it’s the just a plain old Wampus (or Wampas) cat. A half-dog, half-cat creature that can run erect or on all fours, it’s rumored to be seen just after dark or right before dawn all throughout the Appalachians. But that’s about all everyone agrees on. In non-Native American cultures it’s a howling, evil creature, with yellow eyes that can supposedly pierce the hearts and souls of those unfortunate enough to cross its path, driving them to the edge of sanity. “

You didn’t find more about, half of it all says the same about the Wampus Cat, sadly you didn’t find anything about how to kill it. You sigh loudly and put your head on the table.

Dean: Sup sis?

You look up at Dean and sigh.

You: I didn’t find anything to kill it, D. 

Dean: It’s okay, we have the colt.

You nod, putting your head back on the table.

Dean knew something was up with you, this had nothing to do with the case, he knew it but he couldn’t do anything if you didn’t want to open up to him.

Dean: Sweetheart, what’s wrong?

You look back at him.

You: Nothing, why?

Dean: Stop lying to me. I know you, ok? I know there is something wrong. Why don’t you tell me? You used to tell me when things were wrong.

You: It’s just...it’s different.

Dean: What’s different?! I’m still here for you! You’re my sister!

You: You just don’t get it, Dean! This is something I have to got through alone!

Dean storms out of the kitchen, leaving you alone. You sigh and slap your hand on the table.

You: Damn it.

You found out that it was really a Wampus Cat and only the colt could kill it. After you came back to the bunker you went straight to your bathroom taking a shower.

Sam: Okay what is up with you and Y/N?

Dean: I don’t know, I just asked her what was up with her this morning.

Sam sighs and sits down.

Sam: Dude, I told you to let her come to us when she will be ready to tell us what is wrong. She’s like you, dude! The more you push her, the less you will get from her!

You finish your shower, you dress up and go to your bed. You fall asleep instantly.

You were standing in the middle of the library watching Sam and Dean packing their things in duffle bags. You tried to move, to talk but you couldn’t. You knew somehow this is how it would’ve end, no matter what.

Dean: I can’t believe you hid this from us. You’re disgusting me.

Sam: You don’t know how much of a failure and disappointment you are.

Their words broke your heart, but their looks broke your soul. You watched them leave without being able to stop them. The sound of the door closing makes you realize they are gone. You react and run to the door but the more you ran the less you were getting to the door. You cried for Sam and Dean, but they were too far gone. Why would they want a lesbian as a sister?

You were calling out for Sam and Dean, once they heard you screaming their names they ran to your room with their guns, but once they realized you were having a nightmare, they put their guns down. 

You were in the library drinking coffee.

Dean: How are you doing?

You shrug. There is no way you would tell them. If they knew, they’d leave you. Right?

Sam: Okay I was up for the “let her tell us when she’s ready” plan but it’s getting worse. There is obviously something going on and it’s making you having nightmares, so spit it.

You mumble under your breath, looking at your cup.

Dean: What?

You sigh and look at them.

You: I’m...I...I’m g...I’m...I just can’t.

You stand up but Dean stops you.

Dean: You won’t go anywhere until you tell us what is wrong.

Sam: We’re worried, Y/N/N. Please talk to us.

You: I’m gay! I’m gay....

There was a silence until Dean broke it.

Dean: Wait, so you were having nightmares because...?

You: About you leaving me after you found out.

Sam: This ain’t news, Y/N.

You look at them shocked.

Dean: Sweetheart, you’re the one who comes to me to check out a chick!

Sam: And we see you when you watch they asses. We’re not blind.

You let a breath out, and some tears fall.

Dean: We love you, no matter what is your sexual orientation. Come here.

You hug Dean and Sam put a hand on your head.

You: I love you guys.

Sam: We love you too.

You didn’t know what you thought, your brothers stick with you after all of the mistakes you made, there is no way they would leave you for this, but you are grateful that you have such an amazing family. Sure, it’s little and broken, some of the members of it are dead, but in your line of work, death isn’t a goodbye it’s just a see you soon, and you were lucky, because, no blood, hell, heaven, gods, and demons that could come between you.

[datingadviceonreddit]

Tl;dr relationship of 6 years ends, girl who’s only had sex with one guy finally sleeps with someone elseHi all so a long story short, I was with my ex for 6 years. Since we were 18. We met prom weekend. July of this year I found out he was having an emotional affair and then kissed a girl he worked with. We worked on it until October where he consequently broke up with me. He honestly needed to do some soul searching after everything as did I. We’d only known each other romantically. We were very serious, almost eloped earlier this year, tattooed on each other. So it was a tough break for me. He seemed to want nothing to do with me anymore for his own sanity and I wanted him so bad. Luckily I was in therapy already and was thankfully able to work through my depression. Of course I’m not cured. Of course I’m still hurting. Of course I still love my ex.After New Years, a guy who I knew from college and used to date one of my sorority sisters started showing interest in me. Now before you start thinking bad about me, my sister literally doesn’t give any shits about him and broke up with him over the phone. We started talking a little and we smoked together and just started to kind of get to know each other but if I’m honest, I hadn’t had sex since like September and was definitely interested in that. So we starting hooking up about a week ago. Last night was the most ridiculous night. He came over, we smoked and listened to music all night. He opened up so much I am literally so amazed by him. I always saw him as one way because of things I ever heard or just assumed as a young frat boy. (The sex is great btw lol)Basically last night solidified that I could definitely see potential in a relationship with him. I’m just honestly scared. I got into this situation thinking he prob wouldn’t be anyone I would intellectually and emotionally connect so well with and like now idk what to do. I know it’s early on. And I know I tend to over analyze things.So I guess I have a few questions:Is it crazy to date your first rebound after a relationship as serious as I was in?My break up with my ex was also in a transitional year for us. We both just turned 25 and I firmly believe it changed him in a way where he was seeing himself as more of a man than a boy, the new guy I’m hanging out with is 23, I know it’s not a huge age difference but I’m totally afraid to even think of a potential future with this guy in fear of when and if he has this transitional moment will he walk away? I can’t get hurt like I was again.So I’m honestly just trying to feel it out. He’s in law school and goes back Monday so I feel like that will make it a little harder for us to get together, putting a little distance between us. I’m not saying that I’m exclusively hanging out with him. Not many people really know based off the whole sorority sister thing and I haven’t spoken to her yet. I want to but I also don’t any to make a big deal about this if it ends up just kind of fizzling out. But shit, last night was honestly like I can’t even describe it. He was so open and vulnerable and I just was so surprised by him. I see him so differently now- in a beautiful, amazing way, of course.Thanks if you made it this far. Learning how to date at 25 is kind of crazy tbh. I feel so different. via /r/dating_advice