#have you ever considered being turned loose in a bookstore and picking something up based on the concept on the blurb
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i swear at this point im gonna "read another book" the atla people
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#not because theres like. an issue with it or anything.#but its getting to the point where its so constantly brought up#that im partially convinced these people have never seen another show in their lives#like. yes i know its good. yes i know you like it.#im glad you liked it as a kid and still do.#but please watch something else for once holy fucking shit#this also applies to. ah. a decent amount of pop media that i see constantly brought up#that im just gonna. ban from discussions about media or tropes as a whole#just im glad you like them. but you have got to stop fucking talking about them all the time.#do you know how many shows there are out there. even animated shows.#do you know how many books and movies and Media.#have you ever considered being turned loose in a bookstore and picking something up based on the concept on the blurb#something that you have never heard of before but sounds Neat#maybe try that for a little bit itd be nice#overly sarcastic productions is so bad about it that i had to unsubscribe#just. please. please anything other than the most pop shit in the world
1 note
·
View note
Text
Shedding Layers--a Tales of Arcadia fanfiction
“There is a piece of Nari’s head on the sofa!”
Winter has hit New York City, and unfortunately for Douxie, Nari forgot to tell him something important about the season.
Another ToA fic about the Magical Siblings and their Therapy Cat, done partly in collaboration with @poetryinmotion-author (thank you for all the help! ❤). I am SO excited to share this one, you guys. It was a real treat to work on.
Read on Ao3
Or under the cut:
Winter had finally settled on New York City. The freezing air bit like a wild animal, and depending on the day, there was often either rain, sleet, or snow driving against the windows of the apartment. Douxie kept a space heater running twenty-four hours a day now, but even so, Nari spent most of her time huddled beneath a stack of comforters. The yearning for freedom that had tormented her mere weeks ago was long gone. Now, she wanted nothing more than to burrow into her pillow and doze the day away. Douxie had been understandably concerned at first, but she assured him that it was quite normal for her to go into something of a hibernation state come winter. She always made a point to be awake when he came home from work, and between his and Archie’s company, and the wonderfully soft cocoon of blankets Douxie had provided for her, she could honestly say that this winter wasn’t nearly as terrible as she would have expected.
Then came a particularly gloomy Tuesday morning in November when Nari awoke to a telltale tingling feeling at the top of her skull. She groaned and pushed her face deeper into the pillow. She had forgotten about her yearly shed. It usually only took a day or so, but it was always so uncomfortable. It started with the base of her antlers itching. Then as the limbs slowly began to come loose, they would wobble around on top of her head, causing a very unpleasant feeling of imbalance until they finally broke clean off. The top of her head would be a little sore for a few days afterwards as well. Still, there was nothing for it but to just wait it out. She tugged her blanket cocoon tighter around her shoulders and snuggled back down again.
She didn’t have the chance to go back to sleep before she felt Douxie’s hand touch her shoulder, and she emerged from her burrow just enough to peer at him with one sleepy eye.
“Hey, sorry,” he said softly. “I was going to leave a note, but then I felt your aura waking up, so I thought I’d just tell you: I’m working a double shift today. Going to be pretty late, so don’t stay up waiting for me. Make sure you eat today. It’s supposed to be overcast until after dark. Archie will be here, but I want you to call me if anything happens, alright?”
“Mmm...I will be fine,” Nari mumbled, clumsily disentangling one of her hands from the blankets to pat Douxie’s where it still rested on her shoulder. It felt like he told her the same thing every morning, but she supposed that as her guardian, he was entitled to a little fussing. “Have a good day.” She felt Douxie’s aura glow warmly as he squeezed her shoulder before letting go. He tucked the blankets around her snugly before straightening and zipping up his hoodie. Nari heard him cross the floor, pause to scratch Archie behind the ears and throw on his heavy winter coat, and then with a jingle of keys, the click of the door, and the soft hum of magic as he activated the protective seals, he was gone. Nari lay awake for a while afterwards, feeling his soul as it traveled, until she could sense that he had safely arrived at the bookstore where he worked. With a satisfied sigh, she pressed her face as deep into the pillow as she could, wincing as the base of her antlers gave a tingly throb of protest, and went back to sleep.
*****
“In my opinion, the leader of the town should have lost more than just her arm. They should have given her a fitting villain’s death.”
Nari glanced over at Archie, who was perched on the back of the sofa by her shoulder, watching the credits roll for the movie they had just finished.
“But she was kind to her own people, Archie,” Nari argued, swirling her mug of cocoa for a moment before taking a sip. “Perhaps she was consumed by her hatred for the forest, but I do not think she deserved death. It was better that she suffer the loss of her arm and learn from it.” She drained the last of her cocoa and set the empty mug on the floor, grimacing as her antlers jostled on top of her head.
“Are you alright?” Archie asked as she leaned back in her seat, pulling her arm out of the comforter she was wrapped in and massaging the base of her left antler with her fingers. “You’ve been scratching your head all day. You don’t have fleas, do you?” He began to draw away from her warily.
“No,” Nari giggled. “It is just my yearly shed. It always makes me itch.”
“You shed your antlers in the winter?” Archie resumed his place by her head, staring up at the limbs in question with curiosity. “I didn’t know that.”
“It never came up,” she replied, wiggling her left antler experimentally. “This one seems almost ready.” Archie reached out a paw and gingerly prodded the extremity. It wobbled again, and his pupils expanded with interest.
“Yes, I should say so...” he murmured distractedly, batting it a little more forcefully. Nari giggled again as he sat up on his hind legs and swiped with both paws.
There was a wooden creak, and then a snap, like the sound of a branch being broken. Archie lept back as the antler dislodged from Nari’s head and tumbled down into her lap. There was an awkward beat or two of dead silence. Nari was the first to break it.
“That is one down,” she sighed in relief, picking up the dead limb and turning it over in her hands. “I am not sure what to do with this, though. Do you want it?” she asked, looking up at Archie. He slid down from the back of the couch and sniffed the offering, considering it for a moment.
“...No, thank you,” he said at last. “It is significantly less interesting when it’s not attached to your head.”
“Maybe Douxie will know what to do with it.” Nari set the antler down beside her and stretched her arms above her head with a wide yawn. Outside, the wind shrieked, and a fresh flurry of snow flashed in the glare of the city lights. “I wish he was home,” she murmured. “It is an awful night to be out.”
“Yes, I certainly don’t envy him just now,” Archie replied, jumping to the floor and stretching his own legs. “But don’t worry about him. He’ll be alright. Wizards are very resilient, you know.”
“His soul is already tired,” she whispered, closing her eyes as she reached out with her magic, feeling the weary glow of his aura. “He always works too hard...”
“Yes...” Archie sighed, his ears folding back slightly. “He does.” The Familiar shook himself and looked back up at Nari with a reassuring smile. “But that’s a problem for the daylight hours, hm? You look ready to keel over.” He shifted into his dragon form, picked up her empty cocoa mug between his paws, and flew it over to the kitchen sink. He came back to the sofa and nudged Nari’s head where it was beginning to droop against the armrest. “Come on. Don’t want you falling asleep here and getting a sore neck.” Nari hummed sleepily and eased off of the sofa with another yawn. Archie turned off the television and the overhead lights, then slipped back into his cat form and crossed the room to Nari’s bed, where she was creeping beneath the covers. Once she had properly secured herself in her blanket cocoon, the cat curled up against the crook of her legs, and with the sound of his gentle purring in her ears, she quickly drifted off to sleep.
****
A few hours later, Nari was violently torn from slumber by a sudden, sickening pulse of ice-cold terror that pierced her aura like one of Skreal’s icy daggers. It was accompanied by the sound of Douxie frantically crying her name, his voice twisted with fear. The wood nymph yelped and blindly tumbled out of bed, accidentally throwing Archie off of her in the process, who yowled in surprise as he landed on the floor next to her. Nari struggled with the blankets wrapped around her, disoriented and somewhat panicked, and felt her powers seizing up, preparing for a fight. Surely only the return of the Arcane Order could make Douxie sound so petrified. Before she had the chance to disentangle herself, or even ask what was happening, he sprinted across the room, dropped to his knees beside her, and ripped the blankets off of her. Ignoring her second yelp in response to the sudden exposure to the cold, he grabbed her face between his trembling hands and frantically looked her up and down, hazel eyes blown wider than she had ever seen before.
“What happened?!” he demanded in a horrified whisper. “Were you attacked? Where else are you hurt?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer before turning his attention to Archie, who was emerging from underneath the bed where he had taken shelter. “Archie, are you alright? Was it the Order?”
“For goodness’ sake, Douxie, calm down!” Archie ordered a tad irately, readjusting his skewed glasses. “What has you all upset?”
“What has me...?” Douxie stared at his Familiar incredulously. “There is a piece of Nari’s head on the sofa!” He thrust his hand out and pointed at the piece of furniture in question--Nari’s left antler was laying innocently right where she had left it earlier.
“...Oh,” Nari squeaked, both relieved and embarrassed. Douxie returned his attention to her, now clutching her tightly by the shoulders. “No, we were not attacked. It just fell off earlier today.” She had been hoping he would find this information reassuring, but if anything, he looked even more aghast.
“It just....fell off?!” he echoed hysterically. “What do we...D-do we call a doctor? Or a vet? Who are you supposed to call for this kind of thing?!”
“Nobody! I am perfectly fine, Douxie!” She grabbed one of his hands in both of hers and squeezed, trying to send a wave of calm into his frantically churning aura. “This happens every year.” Douxie’s eyes moved from her face, up to her one remaining antler, and then over to Archie, as though looking for a second opinion.
“Most antlered creatures have what’s called a shed around this time of the year,” Archie said in a calming, matter-of-fact voice. “It’s perfectly natural, and it doesn’t harm them. It’s really no surprise that Nari experiences the same thing.”
“And it will grow back!” Nari added hopefully, squeezing his hand again. “So please do not worry.” There was a somewhat uncomfortable pause, during which the only sound was Douxie’s labored breathing, which gradually became slower and softer. Finally, he seemed to deflate, the tension in his aura dispersing as he heaved an enormous sigh. A moment later, he gave a mirthless chuckle and gently pulled Nari into an embrace.
“...Fuzzbuckets,” he muttered. “I think I just aged three centuries.”
“I’m sorry,” Nari whispered into his shoulder. “I should have warned you. I just forgot all about it.”
“Does it hurt?” he asked, easing her back enough to see the top of her head.
“...A little,” she admitted, hating the way Douxie’s aura paled as she said it. “But it will be fine in just a day or two.” He gave her a sympathetic look and gently ran his hand over the top of her head, fingers ghosting delicately across the small bump where her antler once grew.
“It will grow back?” he questioned anxiously. “For sure?”
“Yes,” Nari assured him. “Sometime in the spring.” Douxie’s aura settled a little more at the reassurance, but he continued to look despondent as he stared at her. “...What’s wrong?” she asked nervously.
“...It’s just...You’re....lopsided,” he stammered, looking embarrassed.
“Oh.” She reached up and felt her one remaining antler, wiggling it experimentally. “Wait, perhaps I can...” She tugged on it gently and felt it begin to break away from her skull. Douxie gaped at her in abject horror as she pried the limb off of her head with a sound like that of wood peeling. With a final crack, the antler was in her hands, and a bare-headed Nari smiled up at him hopefully. “Is this better?”
It took the shocked wizard a long time to find his words, as his eyes flicked between the top of her head and the dead limb she cradled in her hands.
“...I think I’m going to be sick,” he mumbled, one of his hands coming up to cover his mouth.
“Don’t be rude, Douxie,” Archie scolded as Nari visibly shrank with disappointment. “This is a perfectly ordinary process for her.”
“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Douxie muttered, hastily pulling the small demigoddess back into his arms. “S’just been a day. Someone was signing books at the store today, and the crowds were absolutely ludicrous, I haven’t been able to sit down since lunch this afternoon, and then I come home to find out Nari is losing bits of her head...” He trailed off with a heaving sigh and rest his cheek against her hair. “...I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Nari tossed the antler aside and folded her arms around him. “My poor Douxie,” she whispered, pressing him against her tightly. He sighed again--this time in relief--as her aura wrapped around his, sharing her warmth and energy, and easing some of the tiredness that was weighing down his limbs.
“...Thanks,” he breathed as she pulled back. She looked a bit drained, but pleased, as she gave him a nod and smile. He ruffled her hair gently, still mindful of the sore patches where her antlers had broken off. “...There isn’t....anything else like this that I should know about, is there?” he asked hesitantly.
Nari was about to tell him no, when she caught sight of Archie’s golden eyes staring up at her with a mischievous gleam. He gave her a conspiratorial grin and a slight nod. “Well,” she began slowly, looking back at Douxie. “...I do secrete a deadly toxin from beneath my fingernails if I am agitated.”
All of the blood immediately drained from Douxie’s face.
“...What?” The wood nymph burst into a fit of squeaky giggles, while next to her, Archie collapsed onto his stomach and howled with laughter. “...This is abuse,” Douxie groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Do you realize how many beats my heart just skipped? You’re bloody psychopaths, the both of you.”
“It’s your own fault for making it so easy,” Archie retorted, while next to him, Nari was trying to gasp out an apology between her giggles. Douxie huffed and gave his Familiar a playful shove.
“Would a cup of tea make up for it?” Nari asked, once she was able to regain control of herself.
“It would be a good start, at least,” Douxie replied with a fond grin.
Ten minutes later found the three of them on the sofa, mugs in hand, Nari wrapped up in her favorite blanket once more and curled against Douxie’s side, Archie sitting on the wizard’s lap and purring like a small engine.
“...I don’t suppose you have any idea what we should do with those?” Douxie asked, nodding towards the pair of antlers now resting neatly on the island countertop.
“I was hoping you would,” Nari confessed, taking a sip of her tea. “I have always just left them wherever they happened to drop. I liked to imagine they would bring good luck to whoever found them.” She smiled ruefully into her mug. “I suppose that is rather childish of me.”
“I like that idea,” Douxie said firmly. “Tell you what: I don’t have to go in to work until four tomorrow. We’ll eat out for lunch and then find a nice back alley to leave them in, where some poor sod can find them and pick up a bit of good fortune. Sound good?” He glanced at her sideways, his expression soft and his aura glowing with a gentle affection that, even after four months, Nari still sometimes struggled to process. She gave him a shy smile and nodded, pressing her face into the side of his shoulder as her fingers tightened around her tea mug. The wind howled outside, and Archie continued to purr.
Yes, winter here was downright pleasant, Nari decided, as long as you had a family to share it with.
#tales of arcadia#toa#wizards: tales of arcadia#wizards: toa#douxie#nari#toa archie#the magic siblings#and their therapy cat#found family#fanfiction
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Comedy is a Crime in Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues
As both the summer and another anime season come to a close, here at “Cruising the Crunchy-Catalog”, our minds turn from thoughts of play to thoughts of work. Of course, our work here is also watching anime, and we'd like to close out the “Summer 2018 Revival”—a look back at some of the titles that made last year's Summer anime season special—with a series that's brimming with professionalism.
That's why this week, we're focusing our laser-like gaze on a series about doing your best even in the strangest of situations, regardless of little things like ethics, morals, or laws. Hurray, capitalism! Hurray, crimes! We're talking about Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues.
What's Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues?
Based on the manga written by Tensei Hagiwara and illustrated by Tomohiro Hashimoto and Tomoki Miyoshi, Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues is a Summer 2018 TV anime with direction by Keiichiro Kawaguchi and animation production by MADHOUSE. Crunchyroll describes the series as follows:
An executive at the Teiai Group, Tonegawa Yukio, is ordered by the company president Hyodo Kazutaka to plan out death games for debtors. Awaiting Tonegawa at these planning meetings are ordeals, agony, and despair! The demonic spinoff about the anguish inflicted on Tonegawa by the president and the company suits is now getting an anime adaptation!
Serving as both a prequel and a spin-off to Kaiji, the gambling manga and TV anime created by Nobuyuki Fukumoto, Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues plays fast and loose with the genre, swapping in situational office comedy in place of psychological suspense.
The Elephant (Debtor) in the Room
With such a drastic change in format, the million dollar question becomes: do I need to watch all of Kaiji in order to get the jokes in Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues? The answer, dear readers, is no. Much like its titular anti-hero, Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues stands on its own two feet in terms of bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan with regards to humor.
If you are nominally familiar with Kaiji, Akagi, and the rest of Nobuyuki Fukumoto's gambling manga ouvre, the jokes in Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues take on a deeper, more satisfying texture, but it's not a requirement to enjoy the show. In fact, even though voice actor Masato Hagiwara reprises his role as Kaiji Ito for this series, he doesn't have any significant lines. This is a Tonegawa vehicle, through and through.
Another Normal Day at the Office
The central conceit in Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues is about the banality of evil, i.e. the idea that being a cartoon super-villain can be just as monotonous, bureaucratic, and soul-crushingly dull as any typical white collar job. For Kaiji and his fellow debtors, events such as Restricted Rock Paper Scissors and the Steel Beam Crossing of Despair are a harrowing, once-in-a-life time horror, but to the men in black of the Teiai Group, they're just another Tuesday.
Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues spins comedy gold out of Tonegawa's attempts to motivate his team of faceless goons and to appease the increasingly insane demands of his tyrannical boss, Hyoudou Kazutaka. That the heinous misdeeds of a criminal syndicate are so funny and relatable is a testament to the talents of the show's creators.
Hidden Humor
Although it generally lets the audience in on the joke, Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues also has gags that are hidden in plain sight. For example, Jay Kabira does an outstanding job providing a counterpoint to the famously dramatic style of narration in Kaiji, with the joke being that his overwrought delivery is invariably referring to something extraordinarily ordinary, such as a Power Point presentation, a Twitter post, or a mid-day meal.
One of the cleverest hidden gags involves involves the “Zawa Voices”. In Fukumoto's work, the sound effect “Zawa Zawa!” represents the sound of a human psyche straining under intense emotional pressure, a sort of anxiety made verbal. Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues employs nearly a dozen voice actors as “Zawa Voices” to recreate this iconic sound effect, including Kana Hanazawa, Shiori Izawa, Ari Ozawa, and Masako Nozawa.
That's a pretty deep cut there, folks.
Hang in There, Tonegawa
Crunchyroll currently streams Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues in some 205 territories worldwide, and the series is available in the original Japanese language with subtitles in English, Spanish, Latin American Spanish, French, Portuguese, Arabic, Italian, German, and Russian. If you want more Tonegawa in your life, a Bluray release is coming from Sentai Filmworks on October 15, 2019, and the home video version also includes an English dub.
Both deadpan and grotesquely exaggerated, Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues is sure to appeal to any anime fan that's ever had to put their nose to the 9-to-5 corporate grindstone. If you're in the mood for an office comedy about bad people trying their very best, and if the series is available in your area, then please consider giving Mr. TONEGAWA Middle Management Blues.
Thank you for joining us for this final installment of the Summer 2018 Revival. Be sure to tune in next time when we kick off a look back at the autumn anime season of one year ago with the first episode of the Fall 2018 Review, in which we'll get into the Halloween spirit with a story of spooky, scary skeletons... working at a busy Japanese bookstore?
Is there a series in Crunchyroll's catalog that you think needs some more love and attention? Please send in your suggestions via e-mail to [email protected] or post a Tweet to @gooberzilla. Your pick could inspire the next installment of “Cruising the Crunchy-Catalog”!
---------
Paul Chapman is the host of The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast and GME! Anime Fun Time.
Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!
1 note
·
View note
Text
4 days in January: How 2018 went completely off the rails
You may have thought 2016 was as horrific and just plain bizarre as years could get. You may have considered 2017 to be the Upside Down, or perhaps the ultimate proof of the increasingly credible scientific theory that we're all living inside a holographic simulation instead of a real universe.
If so, 2018 has three words for you: Hold my beer.
Mere days into January, the news is providing a queasy sense of unreality like never before. If your head is hurting trying to process every baffling thing in a four-day year that appears to have lost the plot far faster than its predecessors, rest assured you're not alone.
SEE ALSO: The 14 most mind-blowing items from Michael Wolff's tell-all Trump book excerpt
Let's recap.
On Tuesday, the president of the United States made what appeared to be a penis measurement comparison wrapped up in what appeared to be a threat of nuclear attack directed at an unstable dictator with dozens of atomic warheads at his disposal and a variety of means to deliver them, ICBMs not required.
This statement, possibly the most reckless in the whole terrible history of nuclear weapons, was all about a button on the president's desk that doesn't actually exist, but he assured us it works.
A man who could rain radioactive death on the entire world a thousand times over literally just told us he has a loose relationship with the reality of nuclear war, seeing buttons that don't exist.
And this whole thing turned out to be a response to something this 71-year-old saw on his favorite cable news channel.
This is the way the world ends: Not with a bang, with a Fox News segment.
SEE ALSO: Is 2018 over yet?
Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey stayed quiet about this insane threat delivered on his platform. But with ridiculously perfect irony, he did start 2018 by telling us how great his silent meditation retreat was.
Just finished a 10 day silent meditation. Wow, what a reset! Fortunate & grateful I was able to take the time. Happy New Year! 😌 #Vipassana
— jack (@jack) January 1, 2018
And what of the Fourth Estate? Did the sober and sensible media sound the alarm? Call for Mike Pence and the Cabinet to activate the 25th Amendment now and remove this clear and present danger from office, at least temporarily while his mental health is assessed by qualified professionals? Speak with one voice in a bid to prevent a supremely stupid apocalypse over a dick joke?
Nope. Over on journalism Twitter that evening, many folks were distracted by Trump's next-most unhinged tweet of the night, announcing that he would present "THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR."
It is of course the president himself, who is currently averaging between five and six verified lies every single day of his administration, who should sweep any such awards. But you'd be surprised how little that was raised: the president's lies have become the new normal, no matter how much we tell ourselves not to normalize them.
More often, reporters — not just late-night comedians — would air a variation on a narcissistic sentiment worthy of Trump: I hope he picks me, that means I'm doing something right.
And thus did Trump control another news cycle without really trying, lobbing ever crazier crazy bombs left and right, infecting millions with his madness.
And yes, effectively distracting us — this time from a damning article in the New York Times which effectively accused the president of being a serial money launderer for Russian criminals.
The kind of article that, in times of old, would have created a three-week news cycle in itself.
“We told Congress: from Manhattan to Sunny Isles Beach, Fla., from Toronto to Panama, we found widespread evidence that Trump & his org worked with a wide array of dubious Russians in arrangements that often raised questions about money laundering.” This is the whole ballgame.
— Chris Taylor (@FutureBoy) January 3, 2018
What was weirder: the next morning, we'd almost entirely forgotten about the president's insane nuke threat. Because a whole new soap opera quickly came along to take its place.
That would be Fire and Fury, the new tell-all book on Trump from New York media columnist Michael Wolff, who claimed to have spent months on a couch in the West Wing at Trump's behest. It portrays a campaign that didn't expect or even want to win, and an accidental administration coming apart at the seams from day one.
And apparently Steve Bannon — then Trump's chief consigliere — had told him Donald Jr.'s infamous Trump Tower meeting with Russian officials was straight-up "treasonous."
SEE ALSO: Bannon called that Trump Jr. meeting 'treasonous' and the internet is losing it
It was another twist that would get the whole story of 2018 nixed at a Hollywood pitch meeting: the prince of darkness suddenly sees the light and, out of nowhere, starts agreeing with the Resistance? Get outta here with that Disney Channel nonsense.
"I know it was you, Bam Bam."
Image: MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images
To enhance the unreality of the situation, this detail emerged not from a pre-planned (and hastily rescheduled) book extract. It came from a Guardian reporter walking into an unassuming bookstore somewhere in New England, one that happened to be carrying Fire and Fury early, just sitting there on a shelf like unexploded ordinance.
Instead of decrying the book as fake news (which he could easily have done, given the fact that it claimed he didn't know who his golf buddy John Boehner was), Trump focused entirely on Bannon's betrayal. His statement, like 2018 in general, sounded bizarrely fictional.
"When Steve Bannon was fired, he not only lost his job, he lost his mind" reads, in all fairness, like a very solid opening sentence to a short story
— Mark O'Connell (@mrkocnnll) January 3, 2018
There followed a flurry of improbable legal papers. Trump, via his long-suffering lawyers, sent a cease-and-desist letter to Bannon and to the publishers in a desperate, flailing attempt to gag them. It was like he'd never heard of the First Amendment. (To be fair, even Fire and Fury said he had: apparently the president's remedial education on the Constitution had reached all the way to the Fourth Amendment before his eyes glazed over.)
Even that wasn't the end of the story — because Trump's underlings, past and present, were not to be outdone on the crazy catfight front.
First came Paul Manafort. Trump's former campaign manager, currently under indictment from Robert Mueller's investigation, responded to evidence that he'd broken terms of bail by filing a lawsuit denying the Justice Department's ability to indict him in the first place.
Then Attorney General Jeff Sessions, whose job is barely secure from his boss, decided to make it harder by pissing off all those pro-marijuana Republican libertarians — a substantial portion of Trump's remaining base. Colorado's GOP senator promised to grind DOJ business in the Senate to a halt in response.
Talk about unforced errors.
How insane is 2018's Washington drama? So much so that news of a security problem affecting pretty much every computer in the world — requiring entirely new chips to fix — hardly registered.
Oh, and something called a bomb cyclone buried the entire East Coast, so there's that.
A longer lasting bomb cyclone raged in the brains of anyone trying to comprehend or keep up with the new speed of news.
Buckle up, because 2018 is only just getting started.
WATCH: These robotic arms are actually bartenders
#_author:Chris Taylor#_uuid:11789e26-c270-39a0-8f16-1138c16093f8#_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL#_revsp:news.mashable
0 notes