#have you considered retail AUs. you should. you Need To.

[everymlmhybrid]

You don't even knowwwww how cool and epic and totally not just projection my Walmart AU is that I play in my head to make work more bearable

[whatisthisno420]

Persuasion (Retail Au! Pantalone x Reader)

Your sales have been decreasing ever since you have transferred over to the jewelry department. Despite the below average performance, your boss decides to salvage this by pairing you up with the top seller in hopes of increased performance. What happens when that person just so happens to be the one coworker you can't stand?

Note: This is a Pantalone x Reader, but considering that this is an modern au that Pantalone is not a Harbinger, he will be referred to by the name Feiyu. Please let me know if I should change the name. The reader is currently gender neutral.

This is currently a one shot that I originally submitted to Fatui Con 2024, however I might make this a series as I see potential in this. Also let me know if you guys want any more Retail AU Harbinger fanfics (or any ideas). I got plenty of ideas in my head.

Sometimes you wish that you didn’t have to change jobs.

Though it’s not that you hated your job. Working as a Jewelry Sales Associate certainly has its perks after all. You get excellent commissions, practically free health & dental insurance, 33% employee discount, paid breaks, as well as being surrounded by decent people. Well, most of the people are decent, anyway.

It is rather difficult to enjoy the benefits when you only make enough to barely satisfy your sales goals. You used to be really good too, as you were considered the best performer in the shoe and purse departments, prior to getting promoted to the jewelry department. However, now that your boss has given you a final warning about your performance, you had resorted to looking for other jobs, in hopes that you were able to land another before your current employment ceases.

Except that you weren’t having any luck either finding jobs. Either the pay was less than you could afford, the commute would be too long, the job seemed shady or they couldn’t give the hours you needed. With the good jobs, you were either passed up or you wouldn’t be able to even get an interview.

So instead you were at your current job, about to head onto the floor after clocking in and putting your stuff away, when you get called to go into your bosses office. 

Though practically frozen in fear, you reluctantly agreed. As you made your way into his office, speculation of the possible reasons has clouded your mind, completed with the sound of your pounding heart. You had to stop yourself from spiraling into a full-blown panic attack.

You tapped your forearms in an effort to calm down. You are not going to get fired. You are fine. He might have some good news for once.

Luckily you have managed to calm yourself down enough to remain emotionless in front of your boss. When you reached his office, you knocked on the door before opening.

“I was told that you wanted to see me-“

You made the mistake of looking up. In front of you was your boss, and the coworker that you hated the most, Feiyu.

“Come and take a seat, (Y/N),” Your boss replies, his hand opening towards the empty chair. You made your way towards the chair, letting out a soft sigh as you sat down.

What in the hell was Feiyu doing here anyways? This can’t be good. Nothing good ever comes out when he’s around.

While you are able to get along with everyone at work, Feiyu is the one exception; you would rather be run over by  a bus than be anywhere near him. He talks like he is getting paid by words-spoken-per-minute, and also acts like he is some know-it-all. You also suspect that he is trying to steal your clients, as almost any new client you happen to make, often gets swept up in his charm, resulting in the sales going to him. Unfortunately you can’t tell your boss that, especially because in your bosses eyes, you would be ‘slandering his top performer’.

He also seemed to know how to always catch you off guard, which almost always ticks you off. It would make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, and you hated that. 

What bothered you the most about him was that his sour personality was wasted on a rather pretty face. Perhaps that’s the only reason why people could stand him; he’s got a pretty face that draws them in before it’s too late.

Sometimes you wish that you make him shut up somehow and could get away with it in the workplace. Or better yet, meeting him outside of work and teaching him a lesson. But mostly you would rather avoid him at all costs, even switching with other coworkers if it meant that you didn’t have to work the same shift as him.

“Welcome in, Feiyu and (Y/N). You might be wondering why I brought you in here. I’ll be straight with you. As you know, (Y/N) hasn’t been on top of their game recently, and might be in need of a refresher. That’s were you, Feiyu, come in. Both of you would be working together until (Y/N)’s performances get better.” Your boss said, leaning forward and putting his elbows on the desk.

You couldn’t believe what was said. You feel like this was one of your own nightmares, if only you could pinch yourself awake. Maybe, just maybe, being terminated was actually preferable.

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be like this –“ You responded, trying to persuade him out of desperation. “Maybe I just need to move to a different department, or a different store even-“

“Given your options with your current situation, this is the best option, either that or letting you go entirely.”

You were speechless. Or more accurately, you couldn’t of anything to say in a professional manner, so you silent.

“Listen, I know you have potential. You have done extremely well when you worked in other departments. If that weren’t the case, I wouldn’t have accepted your transfer. Isn’t that right, Feiyu?”

Feiyu gave a nod.

“Maybe you just need to learn from the best of the department, learn the product a bit more, and then sure enough, you would be reaching astronomical profits.”

You glanced over in Feiyu’s general direction. He lets out a sly grin, which catches you off guard. Here we go again.

“Feiyu, you are expected to show (Y/N) the ropes, as if they are brand new. From now on, both of you will now be sharing the same shifts and lunches to make it easier to work together.”

This is great. Absolutely a fun time to be had.

“Oh and you both better be on your best behavior. I don’t want to hear any reports that you are misbehaving. Any questions?”

You stood silent. You had many questions alright, but didn’t know what to ask.

“I understand the assignment, boss.” Feiyu responded, nodding his head once.

“If you don’t have any questions, you may leave.”

With that, you and Feiyu left the office, going straight to work.

When you first worked with him and he would start rambling, you would often tune him out, zoning in on your own thoughts. Or alternatively, you would make your escape by finding different customers to help out, or find various projects to help out with. Either way, Feiyu would always find a way to bring your attention back to him.

Though as a few days passed, you noticed that he wasn’t really being condescending as you originally thought. The more you managed to listen to his ramblings, the more you realized that he was trying to be helpful. He also seemed rather happy when you graced him with your presence, contrary to the prior belief that he was trying to ruin your career.

You also couldn’t help but notice that for the last few days, he was dressed to the nines. Sure, he always dressed nice, but he dressed extra fancy, like he was attending an rich man’s party or something.

Not that you were going to complain about the tuxedo he was wearing, or the way he styled his hair. Or even the fact that he had cologne on that just so happens to be your favorite scent.

One day, you were trying to listen to another Feiyu’s rambles when you noticed how perfect his waist and chest look against the suit. The suit jacket seemed to fit perfectly. You accidentally zoned in as if you were studying it.

“I must of lost you at my chest.” Feiyu said, giving out a soft chuckle. 

You didn’t know how long you must of stared, which made you feel immensely embarrassed. And the fact that he caught you off guard, again. You wanted to change your name and move to a new country, never to be seen again.

“N-No I’m listening. Just continue talking.” You stammered out.

Feiyu raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? I have no problem starting over if needed.”

“I’m good!” 

“Sure”

“I said I’m good.”

“Alright then, if that’s what you really want.”

Feiyu continued with his lecture, your mind too preoccupied to even pay attention to what he is saying. You were desperate to get out of his grasp, regain your composure. Luckily you were able to keep yourself busy with customers for the rest of the shift, and surprisingly he didn’t come around to find you.

That lasted until the very end of your shift, when you about to clock out and about to leave. 

“You may be able to lie to yourself, but not to me.”

Feiyu caught you off guard again, only this time he managed to actually surprise you. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t be able to notice how easily distracted you are? Especially the amount of times you keep staring at me. You cannot resist me, can you?”

You felt the heat rushing into your cheeks. You wanted to fight him, but you were frozen in fear.

“Ah! Is that why you acted rather,,, cold towards me. You have a thing for me, don’t you? Is it the fact that this attraction is too much for you? Or is it the fact that you cannot handle rejection?”

“I do not like you that way!”

“Your reactions say otherwise.” Feiyu said, raising his eyebrows. “You know, a big key in securing sales is to able to read the body language and hidden meanings of your customers. After all, you have to anticipate which ones would be interested in your product, and which ones you can easily persuade to buy your products.”

There was a moment of silence in the air. You didn’t know what to say. Instead you stood there, flustered out of your mind.

“And you, my dear, are just another customer looking to buy a product. Though, product may not be the best word Perhaps service would be a way to describe.”

“W-well you are wrong.” You managed to say, crossing your arms. “I am not buying your services-“

“Based on the flush on your cheeks and the toes pointed towards me, I cannot buy into your statement. Though if I am truly wrong, perhaps you can persuade me over at the new restaurant across the street that just opened up.”

Your eyes widen in shock. Did he just-

“The best time to go is now before 7, unless you want to wait a while for a table… I guess you could persuade me as we are waiting, but I find it much easier to listen when we have out table, away from the chatter from other people, Don’t you think? Unless you prefer to take a walk around before our meal, get some shopping done… My treat of course.”

Feiyu took a good look at you, his eyes looking up and down. His hand moved towards his chin, resting two of his fingers below it. He tilted his chin slightly upwards.

“This is a good chance to practice your persuasion skills as well. That’s another key in making a good sales pitch you know. And if you take up on that offer, it would help you with your sales, and with your sales going through the roof, you wouldn’t have to deal with me for much longer, if that’s what you truly want-“

“Just a dinner is fine…” You mumbled 

“What was that? I didn’t quite get that-“

You repeated your statement, only that it was much louder and with a bit more frustration.

“Is tonight at 7 okay? Unless you have plans after work. Gives us enough time to look our best, prepare our arguments-”

“7 is fine.”

“Alright then, dear. See you there~” Feiyu then left the building, and you followed suit. You got in the car, replaying the day’s events as you drove home. 

What in the hell did I agree to?

You plan to meet him at 7, hoping that you could get it over with and done, or even better, that he decides to cancel and forgets to reschedule.

Little did you know, you were about to fall into a rabbit hole that you could never claw your way out of.

[summerwritesfics]

🗺️Love Comes Wearing Disguises

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 1740 Words Rating: Mature Warnings: Modern AU, Retail AU, Sex Shop, First Meetings, Meet-Cute, Implied/Referenced Sex, Sex Toys, Past Character Death, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment AU-Gust 2024 Day 11: Retail Worker

AU-Gust 2024 Masterlist

Notes: Johnny feels like the kinda guy who’d try to hook two of his friends up just because he can lmfao. Just realised upon reading this back, the third guy with Hanzo and Johnny is Kenshi I just never really introduced him. 😂 He’s not really that important in this, but that is him. lol Title is from My Type by Saint Motel

Kuai Liang had heard just about everything he possibly could about his job.

Questions on if he got to test the wares, if he’d done certain sex acts, where the best local orgies met at. He wasn’t entirely sure what it was about working in a sex shop that made people decide that asking entirely inappropriate questions was acceptable, but it did seem to. He’d been slut shamed, hit on, yelled at, ogled at, sometimes all at the same time. Honestly, he couldn’t wait until he was done with his degree and he could find a new job.

Thankfully, his boss let him keep some pepper spray under the counter. Doubly thankfully, he had so far never had to use it.

He sighed as he opened a box, looking upon a new stock of brand new vibrators. It was from one of his favourite brands and he was quite interested in this one. He slipped one out, putting it behind the counter so he could buy it later, and then carried the box over to where he needed to display them.

As he placed the box down again, the bell on the door went off and he looked up just in time to see three men entering the shop.

“C’mon I’m telling you dude, this will get you back in the game,” the one man insisted, and he recognised him immediately. None other than Johnny Cage, famous movie star. He was, weirdly, a regular in the shop, and if Kuai was honest, he was definitely one of the more top tier customers in terms of how he acted. He was always extremely polite and never too over the top with his questions. Kuai Liang didn’t recognise the men with him, but he hoped if they were with Johnny then they’d be alright too. When Johnny saw Kuai, he waved and said “hey man, how are you doing?”

“I’m doing well, thank you Mr. Cage,” he replied, placing a couple of the vibrators on the shelf. “Can I help you at all today?”

“Not me, but maybe my friend here.” Johnny pushed forward one of the men, who looked completely mortified to be put on the spot. “His name is Hanzo, and he’s trying to put himself back out there, so I thought maybe getting some stuff from here might spice things up for him.”

“I see.” That was actually incredibly common. Lots of people, upon going through a breakup, would find themselves grabbing a toy or two to keep themselves satisfied. “Well, what sort of thing did you have in mind?”

“I- I have no idea,” Hanzo muttered, trying to look anywhere but at Kuai Liang. “What would you recommend?”

“Uh.” That was a loaded question, because without knowing Hanzo’s tastes it was hard to know what to point him towards. Eventually he cleared his throat and replied “well, I mean, there are a couple of vibrators I really like.”

The group stood in silence, and Kuai felt himself start to panic that he’d said something wrong or offended them. Then Johnny began to laugh to himself, both his companions turning to look at him questioningly.

“Well, uh. Thanks for confirming you’re a bottom,” Johnny said in a jovial tone, and Kuai felt his face start to go hot. He hadn’t even considered how his statement could be taken. “I mean. I had a feeling, but… Y’know. Didn’t wanna ask.”

“Oh my god,” Kuai groaned, putting his face in his hands and bending over slightly. He wanted the Earth to swallow him whole. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

“N-No I’m sorry,” Hanzo hurriedly assured him. “I should have clarified what I’m looking for better.”

“Hmm.” Kuai managed to stand back up straight, and brushed his hair out of his face. “So. Um. Y-You’re looking more for… fleshlights?”

“Yes. I think so,” he replied, and oh god, Kuai was glad that he was also feeling embarrassed right now. He couldn’t have coped if he was feeling it alone.

“We’ll leave you two to it,” Johnny claimed, turning to look at some of the porn dvd’s they had on display. “If that’s fine with you, Kuai Liang?”

“Absolutely,” Kuai replied, abandoning the vibrators and walking over to where the fleshlights were. He was joined by Hanzo, who was still clearly trying to not make eye contact with him. “So. Um. These are what we have. I’ve been told this one is pretty good as a first buy.”

“I see,” Hanzo spoke as Kuai pointed to the item in question. He reached to take a look at it. “I… Assume you don’t have many personal recommendations?”

Kuai coughed on his own spit, before groaning “I just outed myself so badly didn’t I?”

Hanzo chuckled slightly and said “you did.”

“Ugh. Johnny is never going to let me live this down.” He placed a hand to his head. Sure, Johnny was just a customer, but he was in the shop rather a lot. And this felt like the sort of thing he would forever be teased about.

“Knowing him, absolutely not.” Hanzo sighed dramatically. “How do you know him, by the way?”

“I- He’s a regular customer,” Kuai said with a shrug. He didn’t really know Johnny, especially given he was a famous movie star. They were friendly but he doubted they could ever be friends thanks to that.

“Huh.” Hanzo seemed confused, looking over his shoulder towards Johnny, before lowering his voice slightly. “Just, when he was talking about you, he made it sound like you two were good friends.”

“Wait…” Kuai tried to process that, wondering how to address what he’d just discovered. “He’s talked about me?”

“Well. Yes.” Hanzo straightened himself out, now acting like he was also discovering some new information. “I mean, he was just extremely insistent that you’d help me find what I need.”

Why does that sound almost like Johnny’s trying to get us to hook up? Because why wouldn’t he say Hanzo could find what he needed in the shop? Rather than straight from Kuai Liang. And then there was how he pretty much immediately pushed Hanzo forward to talk to Kuai Liang.

There was a light of realisation in Hanzo’s eyes as they widened and he whispered “oh my god, he was trying to set us up together, wasn’t he?”

“I think so,” Kuai giggled. Honestly, he was so used to guys just aggressively coming onto him, he was surprised he’d never had anyone bring their friend to meet him yet. This was a new experience.

“I am so sorry,” Hanzo reiterated in a devisated tone, placing a hand on his forehead. “I should have realised that he was up to something.” He sighed and shook his head. “I know he means well, but for fucks sake.” Hanzo held his hands up. “Please accept my sincerest apologies, and know you do not have to do anything more than sell me a sex toy.”

“Don’t worry, you are fine.” It was nice that someone actually apologised to him. But this wasn’t Hanzo’s fault. And this was far from the worst interaction he’d had at work. “Trust me, I’ve had some doozies.”

“I can imagine.” Hanzo looked down at the fleshlight in his hand. “I would suspect you get a lot of men who have no sense of boundaries.”

“You have no idea,” Kuai muttered under his breath. “There’s a reason I have pepper spray under the counter.”

“Thank you for not using that on me,” Hanzo said in such a serious tone it actually made Kuai Liang laugh. Hanzo himself ended up chuckling. “Like I said, Johnny means well. I’ve been trying to get myself out there in terms of dating but it’s… hard…”

“And Johnny thought your perfect match was the guy who works at the sex shop?” Kuai dryly pointed out, and once again he got a chuckle.

“Apparently.”

“Was it a bad break up?” Kuai questioned, since that was usually what people meant when they talked about getting back out there.

Hanzo gave him a sollom look. “I lost my wife about two years ago.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” It hadn’t even occurred to him that something so terrible had happened. “That must have been hard.”

“It was, I was in a dark place for a very long time.” Hanzo sighed deeply, but then smiled to himself. “But my friends made me realise that Harumi wouldn’t have wanted me to wallow in self pity. She’d have wanted me to find happiness, no matter what.”

“Well, I certainly hope you find that happiness,” Kuai sincerely told him, reaching to pat his shoulder. He did feel for the guy, definitely. And honestly? He was kind of good looking. If they’d met outside of his work, Kuai might have actually considered a date with him.

“Thank you,” Hanzo said with a nod. “Sorry about everything again. I mean, you are very cute, but I would feel bad hitting on you when you’re just trying to do your work.”

Out of all the guys who’d come in and called him cute, Hanzo had been the most respectful. His mind rolled back to his previous thought, that if they’d met outside of the shop, Kuai would have considered it. And well… Johnny didn’t feel like the sort of guy who’d just throw a complete weirdo at him.

“Well... I get off work at about 5ish, and generally stop by the sandwich shop down the street to get something to eat,” he drawled, watching Hanzo stare at him in confusion. “If we were to just happen to run into each other, I wouldn’t be at work anymore.”

Realisation seemed to hit Hanzo and his eyes widened. It took a couple of seconds, but eventually he began to smile to himself.

“Yes. I suppose you wouldn’t.” Hanzo chuckled to himself under his breath, actually seeming a little flustered by Kuai’s suggestion. “Well. I should probably pay.” He held up the fleshlight slightly as he spoke. “And then, hm, maybe around 5ish I’ll find myself hungry and showing up at the sandwich shop.”

“It’d be a total coincidence, of course,” Kuai continued the bit, giggling slightly as he did.

“Absolutely.”

They shared a knowing smirk with each other.

“Let me ring you up,” Kuai finally said, gesturing towards the cash register. As he continued to make small talk and take the payment, he found himself getting excited about their totally-not-intended date later.

[misc-obeyme]

the 7 rings would be so intresting (based on helluva, and other media)

💙The Pride Ring - blue sky, the top layer (mostly sinners) divided by rank poor, rich, overlords. The ring is mostly used for buisness and sinners who fall in this ring cant leave.

💛The Greed Ring - (dark yellow sky, banks, mostly mafia, mostly overrun by demon born mobs, not a nice place, violenet, and a lot of money, CEOs, retailers, influencers, managers, mostly make up the sinner count, Mammon would not care for its inhabitants)

🧡The Envy ring - (moslty water, envy demons who are mostly water demons, nothing much here, smells like chlorine, and has beaches, orannge sky, no sinners)

💚the wrath ring (dark green skys, sandy mostly desserted, demon born, mostly farmers, no sinners)

💓lust ring (pinkish sky), casinos, strip clubs, clubs, bars, hotels, the works, sinners do live here, and mostly demons come here to have fun..busy as it gets Asmodeus makes a few apperances.

❤️Gluttony - food and drink stalls, a reddish sky, rumour has it that the demon Beelzebub makes only a few appearances, and she does not like people left out, she also claims to drug people up, also the only hospital that the whole of hell)

💜sloth ring - purplish sky, smalls pf mould and damp, sinners are normally tortured here, demon borns normally make a living selling medication, in additoon, its rumoured that that the realm was taken over by Belphegor's 4th cousin Belial for a while until Belphegor took it back after 300 years, since then, the realm has been mostly distroyed and no one is bothered to fix it up

🩶the devildom - top layer, always dark, 3 cities, a top University, humans, witches, demons, government, elite, some higher class demons make buisness here, the royal family demons live here, they never went to hell, until the brothers showed up, and gave them the place. The place can be accessed via an elvator which connects the 13 rings of hell, and the human world, did connect the Celestial realm but been "out of order" one human uses it frequently

And heaven has 7 realms

(If you have any ideas you can add or you have your own)?

I wanted ot to make ot darker esp abt the pride ring and the lust ring but i was unsure

Well I haven't seen Helluva Boss or anything related therein, but this looks like a really cool Obey Me au idea!

You've really gone into some detail here, anon! It sounds like a concept you've been thinking about for a while. My suggestion is always going to be to write it because that's my default mode of creation lol. But you should explore it however you like!

Personally I think you can do whatever you want with canon divergent ideas like this - make them as dark as you like. That's the fun part about such things, you get to make them your own. It's up to you how dark you want to go.

I might not be the best person to bounce darkness off of as I tend to fluff everything up lol! That certainly doesn't mean I can't get angsty or dark when needed, though. While Obey Me is essentially a lighthearted otome game, you could easily take it into darker places considering the whole hell angle and everything.

It does remind me of the circles of hell from Dante, which is a concept that's been around for a while. Though I've never read anything where it was more fully fleshed out or in a more modern setting. But it's an interesting idea to have each section belong to one of the brothers, especially considering they don't necessarily bother to do anything with them. Like it sounds like the rings will function just fine without their presence? Who ruled over them before the brothers fell? Or did they just not exist yet?

[lesbiankoby]

For your Sakumo clone isekai oc: you going to have the OC be a doctor or some type of medical/ scientist professional who has random thoughts of either 'what Orochimaru is doing is not ethical or moral' and having a crisis on that and/or they think: ' 'This idiot scientist is not following the proper guidelines or procedures. What the hell?! You're never going to get good results this way!'

ohhh that’s an idea yeah. i’ve been rattling this around in DMs actually but i think this is probably a divergent version of the au then the one i’m actively playing with. orochimaru’s hell house is so violently antithetical to everything issekai oc feeeels deep down is the “correct” version of the world.

the version i’ve been actively playing with with max is “hatsu” (now) “[static]” previous who was at some point like. a fiercely independent retail worker with a history of just. walking the hell out of any situation where he didn’t feel “respected” for better or for worse (or both simultaneously lol… jobs and personal situations and his parents house and and and). hobbiest mechanic. had like… half an electrical engineering degree. something like that.

orochimaru never actually named him anything except “sakumo” while he was trying to figure out exactly how badly he fucked up actual resurrection. (BADLY). clearly, though, he did something to the subject— his development isn’t tracking along expected lines for a blank slate clone at all and he definitely put something in there. orochimaru never told hatsu much about his template in an attempt to not introduce bias to the study lol hatsu legitimately doesn’t actually know kakashi exists. he grew up in orochimaru’s freaky cult lab. like, he knows hes not hatake sakumo and that in practice he’s some kind of cheap clone that failed to live up to what he was supposed to be but. seriously nobody ever told him djdjdj

the person he was and the person he is are so violently opposed to one another that they can’t really coexist and hatsu doesn’t consider himself the same person. there’s something in him though. when everything properly clicked finally age “somewhere between seven and nine he never got an honest answer about how much time actually passes and lost track” something deeeeeep inside him informed him this is totally a cult and he needs to get the fuck out just leave just bail just run as fast as you fucking can. which clashed horribly with the part of him that twitches and even internally refers to orochimaru as orochimaru-sama who he should be grateful too, but the terror won and he got the hell out. left an extremely nervous note behind thanking orochimaru-sama for everything haha. orochimaru laughed daintily while putting out the bounty— what a weird boy, that one. what sort of thing did he put in there…?

and then he runs into…. haku and zabuza…

being zabuza’s tool is leagues better then being orochimaru’s tool— zabuza&haku help hatsu come up with his name, even! and he’s accommodating of hatsus obsessive desire to look at his own body as little as possible. in practice hatsu is… pretty much a doormat, honestly, he goes back to coping how he coped in sound whenever that voice inside of him screamed and shuts down his own internal feelings about what sort of jobs they take and so on pretty ruthlessly. still, deep down, hatsu doesn’t want to be a tool. haku likes his cute kouhai lol.

mm much like his progenitor hatsu is shaping up to be a kenjutsu specialist. while orochimaru’s a well rounded shinobi who hires other decent shinobi, he can and does learn quite a lot from zabuza.

[crystalaris]

Moon knight Fan Fic Idea (3 is a Magic Number)

OC gets reincarnated as a cat

AN : this is basically the outline for idea that I wrote yesterday (finished too late to post) so there’s going to be lots of bad spelling and horrible grammar, so far warning

Also : if you want to use this as inspiration Please, Please, Please tell me. I’m very happy if someone wants to write it, I’m pretty sure my writing won’t do it Justice. All I ask it that you let me know, mostly cause I want to read it too and I’d be happy to bounce off ideas

This can be looked at as platonic or possible romance

P.P.S : I’ve seen other fan fics on tumbler that have requests, if you are interested in things happening or ideas I’d love to know. Especially family scenes in the beginning. My cats each have had there own quirk, it might liven things up to add more. No question or idea is stupid (annoying? Maybe but that’s retail) a simple thought or word may spark something completely random and awesome

———

OC wakes up as a cat in London

OC meets steven and goes to his home, meets Gus (one tap)

OC meets Konsu as he insults steven, it clicks where she's at and Konsu calls her young one (she's near a god, like a god in the making cause she was claimed by her grey cat in her last life and accepted by calling her and considering her as her mom)

OC meets Marc (two taps) while at stevens

OC meets Jake (three taps)

Befriends all three, fluff times to show

Spends time with Konsu too gets him to lighten up on the boys guilt tripping wise, Marc doesn't want to do something, Jake gets more jobs and body/ cat time

OC can tell boys apart by emotional smells

Each tap is a person, OC tries to leave hints for the future, like the taps, the three mugs each their own, but yhe messages are very subtle cause she's keeping the secret to, but she wants clues in the boys memories for when they 'die', she wants to change things but fears what to change, but she wants steven and Marc to get along. Marc is stubborn and won't ever tell Steven if he can help it... actually he'd never tell he'd take it to his grave. And Steven fears Marc since he's killed and stuff, he needs the whole story to start fresh with Marc so they can be together. To be fair she's only ever seen the last two episodes but read fan fiction semi filling in the blanks.

Interlude: OC goes to London sanctum and uses it to steal 2 sling rings and travel to the NY sanctum. Sets up a stage that has messages 'remember' and (something about dr strange to get his attention like thanking him for his times with Domonau to get his attention and curiosity sparked) he won't see those notes till after she demonstrates using the sling ring to cut off a light purple plums head as she stares at Strange be fore using her new sling ring to travel back home. Sending strange and wu into s frenzy (later strange will remember with the 1st battle with Thanoes stopping the snap especially since he does it again but to the stones and transports them forcefully away and the battle continues)

Interlude 2 later chs though: strange meets steven and the cat after he Amit and snap trouble and OC he's a 'mental' voice she can use now and explains also mentioning to this steven about the 'sinister' strange while addressing 'sinister' at the same time he could look for fan girls or a Christine that was like him since she knew a lot of fan fic writers wrote sinister a happy end he just needed to find those y/n or Christine AUs that left them alone and ask/ offer those a place or to be with him, just don't go too Yandere

OC travels with Marc to Caro (hides in his bag and 'disappears' from the x rays to travel with him.... It's not pleasant (toy story 2) it's her 1st bout of godly magic. She follows Marc and Konsu (he might have to magically allow her entrance [OC tells Konsu that he should get the ohpther gods in his debut with a bet and they'll owe him a lot of favors, word it so Amit shows up, they all owe him, but with no time limit and to do it before summoning Horrow] ) to the gods temple (she scouts around and familiarizes herself so she can free Konsu from stone later. Meets Besset who welcomes and explains how she got here to this dimension, basically 'adopted' / inagerated (added) Into the 'besset cat god' family and kind of special like Neko Yoki in Japan and she's young so she's got a 9 life special

OC asks for a one time entrance into the temple after this and not to take the bet Konsu issued since will come and horrow will spin a good tale. Besset chuckles and agrees with a purr and says welcome to the family, I'm glad she chose you and you accepted. OC also tells Besset to make sure their avatar is not in or near the temple since Horrow and crew will storm the fortress and kill the avatars trying to free Amit

Layla is in the picture and is shocked the cat is there

OC can fight as a cat, more like support, she distracts scratches and bites, can't really kill (has to pick and choose battles)

Follow canon with dialogues etc

Marc gets shot, so head space. Not sure if OC can drag out Marc of the water

Walk down memory lane for those two, some of stevens memories include the # taps and they don't get it, but they are like she's really cute and I'm glad you had her, yeah she made being alone bearable, etc still the three mug thing was weird though, that was probably Konsu's, he's lightened up too which was weird though birds hated cats

OC calls the teleporte (doesn't realize she did it herself) frees Konsu tells him in at the Very end Harrow needs to live, Konsu gets upset but OC explains. "Listen!" (Readers won't know until later: OC needs horrow alive to kill All of admits followers Through them Before he dies, though the pain of the goddesses believers vanishing through her own powers [and not her mouth] is a shock and would slowly kill them painfully and by not telling Marc/ Steven to not finish her off will prove he's not like Amit/ Horrow in a small way

Still in memory lane after Marc's memories and the weighing of hearts still not balanced fight breaks out

OC feels a shift, a dread. Desperately wishing to be with her boys. Ends up in the mind room with the shaking coffin. She tries to get him out ends up sifting part human part cat and gets him out, meet greet, name oh hi, hi and then a few shouts down the way both turn and OC goes, "shit. Jake you can hit/ kill me later." They run and he connects the dots and gets a dark look, but nods and continues

Fight ensues, weigh the 3rd heart, scales balance. Laugh quick introductions. OC is watching and a song plays in her mind (three is a magic number) not realizing the boys are hearing it too since their minds are being shared right now. Though they ignore it to deal with her. Marc is highly cautious and doesn't let her leave his sight, Steven is gaping and Jake walks up to her and punches her Heavily twice, drawing contemplation from Marc and a shout of 'oi!" From Steven.

OC is like relax steven, I deserve this. And Jake is like Hell yeah you do! You fucking knew! -swears in Spanish- then tugs her up and kisses her to thank her for getting him out of that coffin

Marc: you knew and it's a statement that draws silence from Steven who's watching shell shocked

OC: yeah really don't have time Marc! Horrow, Amit? Ring a bell.

Marc: explain

OC: fuck fuck fuck! Just wanted the two of you -points to Marc and Steven- to get along!

Marc scoffs

OC: not like you'd tell anyone about your past Marc glares harshly (if looks could kill ...)

Steven: she's got a point mate Marc glares at Steven (softer, more offended than hateful) Jakes just watching and observing

OC: and Steven, you're more on the sciencey side,you needed to 'see' to believe. This time everyone's face were blank while staring at her, sighing heavily while her hand pulled her face down,  look if it helps Konsu has no idea how I know, though he did call me 'young one'

Tawebet: -squeals loudly- oh my gosh! A young one how many millennia has it been?! Oh we need to celebrate! Oh this is precious! Oh my, you're one of besets newest kittens arn't you!? She coos

OC: -blushes harshly- Tebby no the time! -turns to the boys- we gotta get back I already got konshu out, so your body should heal nicely

Marc: not until

OC: look we don't have time for this! I swear on my godly title you going or what ever -Tawebet gasps in horror- that I'll tell you, All of you -she pointedly looks to all three of her boys- hell I'll even through Ol' Grandpa Caw Caw in there two, but let's go!

The three choke while Jake and Marc look at eachother and silently agree to call Konsu that

Steven: caw caw!?! You all him Caw Caw!???!

Before all three of them are pushed out.

Tawebet on OC talk a bit, the OC god portals her way out

Layla gets to be Tawebet temp avatar to fight and seal Amit. (Besset avatar on a mother mission elsewhere, maybe helping Tony stark 3rd movie since OC likes Tony and knows he goes through hell and would need comfort and Besset is a mother so comfort a child future friend? Sure maybe the avatar and Tony get together by accident, since they both go through a lot and avatar would feel better giving comfort and accepts Tony for Tony and doesn't nag him for company stuff or army stuff (sorry people and roads you Were good friends but Tony isn't your top priority, which he needs) and hey maybe if someone was by his side it'd prevent the Ultron fiasco )

So big fight against Horrow and crew, OC fights kitty style again, but ends up more protecting the citizens and kids. Crew laughs and goes oh what's a kitty kitty gonna do? And OC protecting 5 yr old is like Roar! Me! And gets shocked she roared before throwing that thought out, turned out kitty became Tiger/ lion and attacked shocking many only for OC to spit out the human and speak in English, Ugh! Blae blae humans nasty!! That fucker was a smoker! -some guy down the way is quickly scribbling notes that Tiger/ lions hate eating human smokers and it's now a repellent.- Jake would be laughing but he's concentrating on the fight, his lips twitch though and will tease the hell out of her for it later

Amit gets sealed, Marc and Steven are near shocked konshu doesn't demand Amit and Horrows death, Jake just glances at OC who winks and mouths later (godlings can see the reflections now so shut up)

Stuff happens, safe now so OC explains this is her second life and mentions this 'au' is a fantasy world be movie or book she doesn't know but that's how she knew, goes into this big teasing every body since every body has fans Marc, Steven, Jake, Layla ,konshu laughs at their expressions only to be told he's got plenty too, she's pretty sure Caw Caw has smut too, which shuts him up

Life goes on, reader decides if OC love is platonic or romantic

*Bonus scenes*

OC meets Tony stark with bessets avatar

OC chews out Thor in front of the avengers for not noticing something was wrong with Loki when he attacked Earth,(oh come ON DUFUS he LITERALLY has it IN. His. Fucking. Name Lo. Ki. Low-Key! InEnglish, Subtle dick for brains! If Loki Raelly wanted to take over he'd be Low-fucking-Key about it and the humans would have worshiped him for it cause they would have thought it was their idea from the fucking start!

OC scares Nick Fury as a cat, Tony gets it on camera, best birthday ever!

[thenovelartist]

Burned Beginnings, chapter 1

Novel decided to do Adrienette April on a whim. Each post until the end of April (or such is the plan) will have 3 prompts in it.

She also discovered she’s very rusty. Bear with me here. XD

Next>>

1. AU

Marinette had thought she’d grown used to Chloe’s bullying, having to had endure it since they were little. However, with high school came a new name that became a regular part of Chloe’s vocabulary, alongside “hot” and “sexy” and “dreamboat”.

“And Marinette would never catch the eye of someone so perfect.”

Honestly, Marinette had thought she was over it, but on a particularly bad day, she’d snapped back at Chloe.

“Well, clearly he isn’t that perfect if he fawns over someone whose only redeeming quality is pretending to be pretty.”

That had led to a fire alarm getting pulled and Marinette left to blame for it. Anyone who tried to come to her defense was shut down, and Marinette had been suspended.

Which had started an all-out war.

After being stuck at home, wrongfully, for three solid days, Marinette had snapped. She’d decided that if Chloe was going to build a bonfire and poor on the gasoline that she would be there with a match. By senior year, Marinette’s record had taken a hit for it but Chloe’s reputation was in the toilet.

Marinette would take what she could get.

However, she supposed she hadn’t fully thought out the consequences. As much as she played with fire, she should have realized she’d get burned sooner or later.

And she did. Third degree.

We regret to inform you your application has been denied.

Those were words she grew tired of seeing yet came back from every school she applied to. With that in mind, she’d called up her girl friends to tell them what had happened.

“Hey, Marinette,” Alya had said upon seeing the letters. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel really bad for you. But… I did warn you—”

“I get it,” Marinette had surrendered, knowing that Alya was completely right. “You tried to warm me of the consequences, and now I’m paying for them.”

The girls had slipped into a moment of silence before Alix spoke up. “Hey, I can ask Max if he can do a little digging so you at least know why, yeah?”

Marinette had raised a brow but agreed. “Only if he’s not busy with his own college stuff.”

“Oh please, he’s too smart for college. He started up some robotics company in his free time and is already making bank on it.”

It took a week for Max to come back with a full report. Marinette had to give him props for working fast as he did.

“Hacking into the system was the first thing I could think of,” he’d explained. “In the side notes, there was mention of your attendance record and suspensions.”

“They were all wrongful suspensions,” Alix had countered.

“Doesn’t matter to the school,” Max had said with a shrug. “But even then, I thought there had to be more to this than just attendance. There were other students who had the same notes yet were accepted. So I shifted focus to digging up background on all the directors of the school. After hacking a few emails, I discovered Audrey Bourgeois happens to know a lot of directors or administration members in all the fashion schools of France. Considering the contents of most of those emails, it has become clear that Marinette was wrongfully barred from every school she’d applied to. And that there’s nothing that can be done about it because we only discovered such scandal through highly illegal means.”

“So…” Alya had begun, turning her attention to Marinette. “Where does that leave you, M?”

Marinette’s lips had pursed in thought. It was funny how things turned out, because despite her anger, she somehow had been peace with what she was faced with. “I think that the last place I want to be is in an industry full of liars and people who use their words to manipulate anyone they damn well please.”

That was how she ended up working full-time in her parents’ bakery. They never said a word about it, but she knew they were disappointed. Of course they weren’t mad about her still being here and working in the bakery with them, and she knew her parents still loved her more than anything.

But she knew that with as many dreams as she had and had shared with them, they were disappointed on her surrendering it all.

“Sorry, Maman, Papa,” she whispered into the empty kitchen as she plopped the baguettes she formed onto a baking tray. “Just give me a little time to figure things out. Seems like lofty dreams are a lot easier to crush than I realized.”

 2. Rebellion

A son can only bear the world of their parent’s expectations for so long. He wasn’t Atlas, but after a few years of acting like him, Adrien decided to dump the globe. To hell if it broke. He’d smirk in satisfaction at his father’s disappointment.

At the very least, the fact he no longer had the weight of the world of his shoulders made the far-too-common disappointment lecture easier to bear.

His strategic rebellion had started harmless enough. At sixteen with a rapidly growing forced modeling career, he’d given his father an ultimatum: he gets to grow out his hair, or it all goes. It had been shocking the amount of power the razor in his hand had given him. It was the perfect harmless threat. His father had been furious, throwing a fit about Adrien acting like a child, but after being gaslit for so long, Adrien had finally come to realize the abusive techniques for what they were. And he wasn’t going to roll over and take it any longer.

That day had ended with Adrien being grounded but ultimately the victor of their stand-off.

After that, he’d begun ditching certain events. He’d always liked fencing, so he never ditched those lessons, but attendance for his home-school lessons, mandarin lessons, and piano lessons had all been decided on a whim. His father had hardly been pleased by this, but to Adrien, that was the point. The lectures soon washed into one another so much that Adrien could practically recite the words that roll off his father’s tongue verbatim. He’d come to realize they were strategically meant to hurt. To humiliate. And as such, he’d stopped taking them personally.

Then came the fun part.

He got earrings. Honestly, Adrien hadn’t really cared for the piercings one way or another. In one way, there were a hassle, and caring for new piercings was a pain in the butt. However, they had been worth it to see his dad so royally pissed off.

Then came the ditching of certain photoshoots. There was a reason Adrien had held off on this one for so long: he cared about the people running the shoot. There was no reason they needed to be collateral in this battle between him and his father. After all, they were just employees doing their job; Adrien didn’t want them to suffer for his rebellion. With that in mind, Adrien had planned out his absences of these photoshoots. Again, he didn’t want to drag anyone else into his mess, so he had always organized a replacement model. Shoot would always go on, just not as planned.

And that was enough to drive his father mad.

It always put a smile on Adrien’s face.

The last touch was an unexpected one. He hadn’t even thought about going this far. Yet, a friend of his not only put the idea in his head, but gave him the art to go with it.

“Is that a tattoo?”

Oh, how he wished he would have taken a picture of his father’s face. The large black cat surrounded in a green, wispy smoke that wrapped around his forearm was truly a work of art. He’d had to think carefully about this decision, but in the end, he quite liked it.

“Yeah. I’m eighteen; I can ink myself if I want to. Why? Is that a problem?”

Adrien might be wearing a cat on his arm, but the grin on his lips was downright wolfish.

Eventually, it all had come to a head and blew up in his face. Adrien couldn’t say he’d been surprised. In fact, he had been fully expecting it. He’d already found an apartment to rent and had begun sneaking most of his important things over there before his father could kick him out. So when Adrien found himself kicked to the curb as soon as he was handed his general education certificate, Adrien had been prepared.

But mostly, he was free.

What a joyous day it was.

However, now that he was free, he knew he needed a job. Not because he needed the money, per se, but because it was time he started acting like the average adult. He never got to go to school, so now, it was time to pick up a mundane, first job that everyone hated but would “serve him well later in life”. Mostly, it would just be something normal.

The easy places to apply were food shops and retail stores. He’d work one for a while before deciding what his next life step would be. Chloe had been quick to offer him a job at her father’s hotel, but Adrien was vehemently against the idea. Over the span of his rebellion, Chloe’s behavior and attitude towards him had grown notably worse, and he had a feeling cutting ties with her would be his next step in life.

In the end, he’d scored a job he definitely was underqualified for. He’d applied partly out of spite and partly because ‘why not?’ He’d heard about this bakery enough times from Chloe to know the “cruel bitch who did nothing but mercilessly harass her” lived here, and that was enough to pique Adrien’s curiosity. At a bakery as popular as that, though, he hadn’t been sure he’d get a call. And when he did, he knew he would do everything he could to present himself as a reliable and respectable man eager to work, but he never thought he’d end up hitting it off with the owner.

Which somehow ended up with him agreeing to work at Tom and Sabine’s Patisserie.

Going into that job, he swore to himself he would do what he could to prove himself worthy. He knew there had to have been better applicants, so Adrien didn’t want to disappoint the very kind owners who dared give him a chance. Soon, his days were spent working hard while covered in flour and surrounded by bread all day. Well, bread and all the sharp and hot objects in your average kitchen.

He just didn’t think that would include a wicked sharp and smoking hot young lady that happened to be his bosses’ daughter.

 3. Game Night

“Mama, Papa, please go. You two hardly ever get out of the house.”

Marinette watched her maman put a hand over the mouthpiece of her phone while her papa turned to her. “But I’ll be busy that night. We have a massive order scheduled for the next day.”

“I can handle that,” Marinette quickly countered with a grin. “You know I’m a night owl, anyway. I’ll get it done, and you two can go enjoy game night with your friends.”

Her parents spared each other a glance. “Are you sure about that, Marinette?” Maman asked.

“Positive. Papa already talks to the bread too much, so he really should talk to people for a change. And while you have to deal with people all day, I know you want more than to just have short conversations filled with small talk. So please, go out and have a social life for once.”

With one last look, her parents relented. With a smile, her mother took her hand off the phone. “We’ll be there.”

Papa turned to her with a grin. “I was going to spend that time teaching Adrien how to handle those orders. I can leave teaching him in your hands, right?”

Her grin fell. Adrien Agreste. What the hell a washed-out model was doing working at her parents’ bakery was beyond her. Admittedly, over the last month she’d been working with him, the most she’d say is that maybe he wasn’t too bad a guy. Papa certainly sung his praises. But that still didn’t answer the question of why he was working here of all places. After all, he was Chloe’s friend and suspected lover.

“Don’t think I don’t see that look on your face, Marinette,” her maman chastised. She’d hung up and set her phone down already, fully giving her attention to her daughter. “No matter your personal feelings, you really should give him a chance.”

“He’s a good kid,” Papa said. “Maybe a little rough around the edges, but I can tell he really does want to learn and do his best.”

Marinette sighed. This wasn’t the first time this talk had happened. She remembered having a talk with her parents after his first interview. There were a few other people who were far more qualified for the job, but Papa said he liked Adrien’s personality and spirit the best. So in the end, all Marinette’s objections had fallen upon deaf ears.

She sighed. “Fine. I’ll give him a chance.”

With a smile that made Marinette loath to disappoint him, her papa patted her head affectionately. “Thank you, Marinette. I think you’d like him if you got to know him.”

Not likely. “I’ll do my best, Papa.”

“Really, Marinette,” her maman warned. “Unless you have a valid reason, you need to put aside your feelings for the sake of the bakery running smoothly. Can you manage that?”

Appropriately chastised, Marinette bowed her head in embarrassment. Maman brought up a good point: Marinette shouldn’t let her anger towards Adrien affect the bakery. Her parents didn’t deserve that. “Yes, Maman. I’m sorry.”

With a smile, her maman came up and wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you, Marinette.”

Marinette hugged her back. “No, thank you, Maman and Papa, for everything. I won’t let you down.”

Papa wrapped his arms around both her and Maman. “Thank you, sweetheart. We love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[mileapokp1677]

Three Steps to Win You (CH 10)

Title: Three Steps to Win You

Rating: M

Pairing: DaddyChan/Tankhun, Kinn/Porsche, Vegas/Pete

Category: M/M, AU Nerd-Jock

Summary: Accidentally, scientist Tankhun Theerapanyakul embarrassed footballer Captain Chan "Daddy" Knight in front of his coach, teammates and fans. He had to fulfill three tasks from the captain before his apology was accepted.

Chapter 10  

(Chan POV) 

Derby Match – (3 rd Match of the Season)  

"How do you feel?" Chan asked Vegas, who was getting quieter by the minutes. The young midfielder is indeed not a talkative person, but his silence this time has nothing to do with his character. As a one-club footballer, Chan will never be able to fathom Vegas’s feeling at having to go to the stadium he once considered his home, and having to compete with people who used to be his team-mates. Not to mention, if you factor his ex-fans into the equation. Because of the decades of rivalry, United fans have never been kind to BSFC players and vice versa, but surely, they will be more hostile toward Vegas, who in their eyes considered a traitor, even though his move to BSFC was not his own wish, but the wish of Bangkok United's management who couldn't wait for him to develop to his full potential, and opted to transfer a more  senior and experienced attacking midfielder.

"I'll be fine, Cap, just a little nervous," Vegas replied.

Chan put his hand on Vegas's left shoulder, squeezing it a little to give him encouragement, before continuing his pep talk.

“I'm not going to pretend that I understand how you feel, I never played against any old team, because I only ever play for one team, but this isn't your first derby, so you more or less know how the fans will treat you."

"Like the BSFC fans treated me last season?" asked Vegas with a faint smile.

"Exactly, but they might be a bit more aggressive today, because they'll definitely call you a traitor or various variations of that word or maybe trying to throw things at you,” specified Chan bluntly.

Vegas grimaced.

“You don't need me to spell out to you the best way to silence them, do you?”  

“No, Cap.”

“Good. I'm sure you'll be just fine, Vegas, and YOU will make them very sorry for letting you go,” stated Chan confidently.  “Yes, Cap!”  

After finishing his talk with Vegas, Chan got up from the bench inside the visitor dressing room of the United Stadium, turned his body to face his teammates and shouted loudly, "Ready to take revenge for last season's draw at BOC Stadium, boys? I want a victory, you hear me? This is the last time I'm competing in this stadium, let's make them unable to forget my face. Ever !"

“YES, CAP!!!”

“LET’S GOOOO!!!”

****

(Tankhun POV)

Tankhun came back from his shopping spree in a much better mood, for there is no better medicine than retail therapy. Although to be honest, the reason why his mood was so sour lately was a bit unclear, but he was very satisfied with the items he bought.

Just as his feet stepped into the house through the main door, he was greeted by a cursing that came from the living room, where the 60-inch smart TV was placed.

"FUCK! What kind of tackle is that? Ref, are you blind!? That should be a free kick for our side!" Kim shouted, pointing at the TV with the remote control in his hand.

Kim is always emotional when watching BSFC matches, but this time he sounded even more emotional than usual. Tankhun decided to approach Kim to find out what was so special about this match.

"Yes, Cap! Tell him! Stupid referee! UGH!" he shouted again.

"Why are they wearing white? Isn't the color of the BSFC uniform black?" asked Tankhun as soon as he saw the white uniform that was worn by Chan, who was seen on the TV screen still protesting to the referee. The sweat-drenched uniform clung to Chan's body, mapping all the curves of his chest and abs muscles. The effect of the black uniform was quite severe, but the white one? Damn, there was nothing left to the imagination, it's borderline indecent. Tankhun suddenly felt his face hot and his mouth dry. 

Damn…

“Oh, hi, P’!” greeted Kim. "This is their second uniform, for the away game. I'm surprised that you even know the color of the BSFC uniform.”

Tankhun heard Kim's explanation, he really did, though only faintly, because his eyes were still glued to the TV screen, that damn uniform now clings to the captain's back muscles.

 “P’! Did you even hear what I say?” asked Kim… well yelled to be exact.  

As usual, Tankhun's instinct to always look cool in front of his youngest brother kicked in in an instant, even though his brain was still stuck on that damn white jersey, Tankhun replied casually, “Du~h, Kim. I’ve seen poster in your room so many times and I’m the one who bought you your first BSFC’s jersey.”

“Oooh, it's starting again! Come on, P', sit here and watch the game with me,” said Kim as he tapped on the sofa.   

Tankhun hesitated a bit, could he trust himself not to blurt out the truth about Chan to Kim, especially regarding Porsche and Kinn – because it was not his story to tell, but seeing how focused Kim was on this derby, Tankhun felt like it's pretty safe now. So, he decided to join Kim sitting on the big black leather sofa.

“You’re not going to regret it, P’. Derby matches are the best. Nerve-wracking for sure, but fucking awesome .” 

"No free-kicks for BSFC, even though the captain tried hard to reason with the referee. Ball for United."

“Ugh, not only stupid but blind. BOO~~~” cried Kim, jumping on his feet and once again pointing at the screen with the remote.

Looks like Kim would chime in with whatever the commentators on TV say, so Tankhun intended to just sit back and enjoy his baby antics. Well, he was the one who raised him since he was 5 years old, so Kim was and always will be his baby.

"Ten minutes before half time and it's still nil-nil here at the United Stadium. It's been a fantastic match, full of excitement! So far, we've seen two superb saves from each goal keeper; wonderful, wonderful attempts of goals and countless individual skill displays. You don't want to take your eyes off this match, not even for a second!"

“COME ON, GUYS!!!!”  

"Wonderful passing from Big to Daddy Chan who slightly moved forward from his position as a center back. Looks like this time it’s the captain who is going to orchestra the attack. Daddy is still dribbling the ball, what a beautiful skill… Vegas is on his right side and Pete is moving backward to take the defensive position. Lovely through ball from the captain to Tay, the BSFC left winger, who crossed! There’s Vegas there… ah superb control of the ball from the young player, is he going to shoot? Looks like he's going to do it…  but it's NOT!!! It’s a feign! Clever moves from the newest player of BSFC who is also the ex-player of the home team… the goalie was tricked and misstep, and of course Daddy Chan is already waiting in front of goal... GOAL FOR DADDY~~~~ 1-0 for the visitor! Woohoo~~~~

“FUCK YEAHH~~~~~ MY CAPTAIN IS THE GREATEST!!!”

Kim screamed so loud, Tankhun's eardrum actually hurt. Then, he jumped on his feet to run in front of the TV and started to chant, “CHAN! CHAN! CHAN!”

****

(Chan POV)

The booing sounds that came from the United Stadium stands were like music to Chan’s ear. He punched into the air with his right hand and shouted, "YEAAAAAH!"

“CAAAAAP!”

“OMG!”

“YEAAAAH!”

“WOOHOOOO!!!”

Vegas, Tay, Pete, Tem, and Ken, came rushing towards him. They screamed and yelled and tried to hug him at the same time, so in the end all of them fell and rolled on the grass in one big pile. The sound of their laughter that sounded like madman must have been heard all the way to the stands, because the booing sound from United fans was getting louder and louder.

“BOOOOOOOOOO~”

“BOOOOOOOO~”

The sound of the referee's whistle awakened them from their euphoria, all BSFC players rose to their feet immediately to return to their positions. As a goal scorer, Chan of course received the angriest shouts and ridicule from United fans, but Chan just put on his super annoying face and then put his right hand behind his ear, provoking the United fans to be even more emotional and livid.

Afterward, he pulled the BSFC badge that pasted on the left side of his jersey to his lips and kissed it. The booing was getting worse and Chan just smirked at them with pleasure.

Ah~ I love derby.

******

(Tankhun POV)

“Hahahaaaaa~ I love it when he’s being a bastard!” hollered Kim who’s still jumping in the living room like a maniac.

Tankhun looked at Chan's face on the huge TV screen, with the most annoying smirk on his lips… and he couldn't help himself not to smile.

Yup, he’s a bastard… a very sexy one… FUCK!

"Three minutes before halftime, the score is still 0-1 for the visitor. A quick kick off… Time, the midfielder that was acquired  by United to replace Vegas, kicks the ball to Game who passes it right back to Time… He moves forward along the left wing… Vegas tries to confront him… lovely inside hook from Time… he still got the ball… he managed to move past Daddy too, this guy has an amazing dribbling skill… Ping, the left fullback of Bangkok United, overlapping from behind… Time finally let go of the ball… Ping took it and passed it to Tawan but Pol already covered him… Tawan then kicks the ball back with his right heel… Time gets the ball again… Big who guarded Time moved a second too late, Time managed to release the ball to Tawan who was sliding on the ground… OH! AND HE SCORED! What a beauty! One-one."

“NOOOOOOO!!!” screamed Kim as he covered his face.

*******

(Chan POV)

“Boys, this is not over yet! We can still win this!” shouted Coach in the dressing room at half-time break. “I have a good feeling about this!”

“Vegas, I just want to say, good feign move there, thanks for the assist,” said Chan to Vegas before addressing his other teammates, “I think we all can see that the new midfielder is having a mad dribbling skill, and he’s their attacking general. Every single attack is starting from him, and Coach, I think you agree with me if I say we can take advantage of this fact.”

“Definitely!” affirmed Coach. “Now, who wants to help Chan to guard this Time guy? We need to disable this player’s movement.”

“Coach, I’ll do it,” replied Pete right away.

“But, Pete…” said Vegas, which Pete immediately cut off.

“No, Vegas, this is your old team, you know best about their defense. You’re the one who’s going to arrange the BSFC attack in the second half, I will take the bottom position."

Call him paranoid, but as soon as he heard the word bottom, Chan suddenly looked at Pol and Arm. If they dared to speak or smile meaningfully, Chan vowed to hit them hard on the head, this very second. Luckily, they didn't act stupid and looked very serious. Yeah, the derby match indeed made everyone extra.

“Big?”

“Yes, Cap!”

“Since my position is going to be a little more forward than usual, that means you will be the last defense before the goalie.” 

“Understood, Cap!” 

“Good, I know I can count on you,” said Chan. “Jom, Arm, Pol!” 

“Yes, Cap!”  

“Jom, you’re the goalie, talk to them three about the best arrangement. Pete and I will make sure Time can't pass as freely as the first-half, I leave the defense in the hands of the four of you.” 

“Understood!”  

“Let’s finish this with style, boys!!!” 

“BSFC!” 

****** 

(Tankhun POV)  

When Kim said this match was nerve-wracking, he wasn't kidding. Tankhun had never felt so involved in a football match before. When United attacked, he actually held his breath, and vice versa, when BSFC attacked he screamed along with Kim. This was madness.

“It's been 40 minutes since the kick-off of the second half, and the score is still tied at 1-1. There’s only 5 minutes left on the clock, and neither team is willing to give up, and accept a draw. United of course want to maintain their dignity as the home team, and BSFC want to avenge the draw result in their home ground last season. May the best team win.”

”Come on… come on…” muttered Tankhun under his breath, he couldn't explain what happened to him, but Tankhun really wanted BSFC to win this match. Was it because of Chan's determined face throughout the match, or because of Kim who miraculously didn't lose his voice, considering he’s screaming non-stop? 

"Do you understand now, P'? How beautiful is this sport? I can't believe it took you this long to realize it," Kim said, with a face full of hope. When Kim's round puppy eyes stared at him like that, Tankhun was helpless.

"Yes, Kim. I do."

 ****** 

(Chan POV) 

There wasn't much time left, and Chan was starting to feel that his desire for a victory in his last match at the United Stadium seemed very unlikely, especially now that the ball was in United possession.

“Cap, we got this!” yelled Pete. “Look, it’s Time again, and he looked as tired as us. We can do this, Cap!”  

“Hn.”  

Chan had to admit that United's newest attacking midfielder is indeed a top-class player, his dribbling almost perfect, it's almost impossible to take the ball from him without touching his legs, and Chan couldn’t afford to make another foul this moment. Not when there was only so little time left to carry out the final attack. He and Pete, both of them, have been yellow carded, but they must be able to get the ball from Time, and do it with clean tackles.

Again, Time dribbled the ball trying to get past Pete and Chan, and after many times throughout this match they fought head-to-head, Chan was starting to be able to read Time's movement, and if his guess was right, Time would do a step-over after this, and he did exactly that.

The key to winning the ball when the opposing player was doing a step-over is perfect timing, the problem was, Time's step over is very fast, so it’s very difficult to get the ball without committing a foul. But it looks like what Pete said earlier was true, Time was as tired as them and his step over wasn't as fast as usual. Chan wasn't voted as the best defender for five years in a row if he didn't have perfect timing, so in the end he managed to steal the ball from Time with a clean tackle.

Look at that, boy, this old man still got it!

The remaining time was probably less than a minute, so they only had one chance to attack. Chan quickly passed the ball to Pete, who then screamed loudly at Vegas.

"Run!"

The next sequence was like a dream, Vegas sprinted forward while maintaining his on-side position, and Pete launched a long ball forward, which fell right in the middle of the opponent's penalty box. How he did it, Chan couldn’t answer, but adrenaline always makes players do things beyond reason. Because the ball was too high, Vegas had no choice but to volley it straight into the opponent's goal with his left foot, and he did it! The ball shot straight into the top left corner of Bangkok United’s goal, silencing the whole stadium.

He did it! He fucking did it! He silenced the whole fucking stadium!

Chan fell to his knees; he had been drained. He raised both his hands into the air and shouted using his remaining energy, "AAARGHHH!!!"

Afterward he lifted his head to look at his young teammates, Vegas was standing tall in front of the stands behind United's goal. Just like Chan, he also raised his hands into the air and shouted as loudly as possible to the ex-fans who used to cheer him on but were so hostile to him throughout this match.

"FUCK YEAH~~~!!!"

Yes, boy, make them sorry to let you go!

Pete, followed by Tay, Ken, Big, Tem, even Jom, sprint towards Vegas. Pete, who was running in the front, jumped onto Vegas' back or tried , because at the last second Vegas turned his body around. So, instead of Pete climbing onto Vegas's back, he landed on his chest. Since Vegas didn't know the intentions of his teammates, he wasn't at all ready to catch Pete's body, so he ended up falling on his back with Pete falling on top of him. Seconds later Tay, Ken, Big, Tem, dan Jom, also piled on top of Vegas and Pete.  

“Kyaaaa~~~ they're hugging while lying down!” cried Pol, a scream worthy of any fanboy, which was met with a squeal from Arm with the same intensity.

“OMG! KYAAAA~~~!!!”  

Chan couldn't help but chuckle, after all this, how could he have the energy or desire to be angry at any of them? He demanded victory from them and his boys gave it to him.

TBC

[rae-arts777]

because i'm a sucker for a fake dating AU, 7 & soudam? or kuzuhina? or any DR ship your heart desires babe

Kuzuhina cause I love you Bryn

(Btw this is NOT a short fic hahaha, I ended up writing 2288 words)

He’s My Boyfriend, Yeah That’s it..

#7 Fake dating

Summary: Fuyuhiko needs a plus one

“Why?” Hajime felt like the yakuza was pulling his leg.

Did Fuyuhiko seriously ask him to hang out? More importantly, did he just ask him on a date?

“Listen bastard this isn’t exactly an ideal for me either.” The shorter male growled, “I hate attending these family functions alone.”

“Why don’t you just go with your girlfriend?” Hajime asked

“PEKO IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!” Fuyuhiko snapped, “I mean! Fuck! One she’s like my sister, we’re just close! Two she’s busy! I’m fucking proud she has her own plans rather then hovering over me! And I’m sure as hell not going to ruin that by asking her to come with me!” he explained

“Ok but why me? Aren’t you and Kaz really close?”

“Please that pink hair bastard won’t last a minute in a room full of yauzkas”

“Uhhhh….Nagito?”

“Is that a joke?”

Hajime sighed, guessing he really was Fuyuhiko’s most reliable option, “Ok fine, I guess it gives me an excuse to get out of the house.”

“Good, come on, we're going shopping.”

“I have a suit a home” Hajime protested

“No offense but I'm a hundred percent certain your suit is not suited for a yakuza gathering. Consider this as my thank you for dragging you to my shit family function.”

Before Hajime could protest further, Fuyuhiko grabbed his wrist and dragged him out. Despite the size difference, Fuyuhiko was surprisingly strong. Hajime sighed, he knew there was no point in protesting.

Hajime felt as if he tried on the whole store at this point. Every time he saw the price tag, he felt like he wanted to die. He felt a little bad for allowing Fuyuhiko to spend this much on him for a suit for a one time use.

Stepping out of the dressing room with the last outfit on, “Are we done yet?” Hajime groaned.

Fuyuhiko looked up from his phone and froze. Hajime for sure could pass for a common yakuza. Fuyuhiko cleared his throat and walked towards him.

“It’s missing something.” Fuyuhiko grabbed a red tie and applied it to the taller male.

Hajime felt tense with how close Fuyuhiko was. He watched as the shorter male took his time adjusting the tie.

“Umm..there..” Fuyuhiko turned him around to the mirror “You look good, better then nothing I guess.”

“Why do I feel like a sugar baby?” Hajime jokes.

“Oh shut the fuck up tall bastard.” Fuyuhiko handed his card to the retailer, “He’ll be wearing this out.”

“What are you going to wear?”

“I already have something picked out at home. I'll change when we get there.”

The retailer returned Fuyuhiko’s card, “Thank you for shopping with us.”

“Yeah thanks for the help.” He nodded, “Let’s go Hajime.” the yakuza walked out.

Hajime grabbed his bag and started to follow, but was stopped by the retailer.

“I just wanted to say, you and your boyfriend are super cute together.” She smiled.

“Boyfriend?” Hajime was taken back.

Did they seriously get mistaken for boyfriends? Did they act like boyfriends? Who else thought it? Should he correct her?

Hajime stared at the retailer who had a big smile on her face.

“....Thanks, yeah my boyfriend and I appreciate your help.”

“Shop with us again soon!” she waved him bye as he left.

Trying to catch up to Fuyuhiko, he felt his mind racing. Why didn’t she correct her? Why did it not bother him? Hajime shook his head. No, it was just easier to just say yes cause they have somewhere to be, no time to explain, yeah that’s it. Better she told Hajime and not Fuyuhiko.

The two arrived at the Kuzuryu manor. Fuyuhiko led Hajime inside, there were already a few guests.

“Just stay here.” Fuyuhiko sat him at a table, “I’ll be back in a second.”

Hajime looked around, it was hard to believe these were the people Fuyuhiko hung around with daily. Awkwardly he fidgeted with his hands, he was thirsty. There was a mini bar across the room, he just needed water. It wouldn’t hurt to get up for a few seconds for water.

Hajime made his way over the minibar. The bartender glanced at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Who are you with?”

“Oh I’m just here with Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, I just wanted water.” Hajime explained.

The bartender sided with Hajime as he got the boy a glass of water.

“What are your relations to him?” Was this an interrogation?

Hajime hesitated “I’m...here as...his plus one…”

“A date?”

“Yes...date...he’s my...boy..friend.” Hajime drugged out. Shit he did it again.

“Boyfriend? Huh. Well guess you never know huh? Enjoy your evening.” The bartender turned to help another guest.

Hajime shuddered and took his water back to the table. Why did he say boyfriend? He could have just said friend. This was different from the store, the bartender will most likely tell Fuyuhiko something. Shit.

As Hajime’s mind was racing, he was pulled out from a tap on the shoulder.

“Hey.” Natsumi sat next to him.

“Oh, hey Natsumi '' Hajime sighed in relief, at least there was one more person there he knew.

“Did my dipshit brother drag you to this?” She asked.

“Well he needed a plus one, and I needed an excuse to get out of the house. So I sort of agreed to this.”

“I see, speaking of that asshole, where is he?”

“He said he needed to change real quick. I think he should be back soon.”

“Bastard! Leaving you here all alone! Sorry my brother dragged you on a sucky date. Come on, you’re coming with me.”

Before Hajime could protest, Natsumi was already dragging him away. How is it that he's been dragged by both Kuzuryu today?

Fuyuhiko returned to the table, dressed in a more fancy suit for the occasion. Real quick he noticed Hajime was gone.

“That fucking bastard!”

Fuyuhiko started to walk around looking for him. Deep down he was worried, he shouldn’t have left Hajime alone in a room full of people like this. God knows who he’s with. Scanning the room, Fuyuhiko’s eyes finally landed on Hajime, but his blood boiled.

Hajime is wrapped up in a group of Natsumi’s friends. A guy resting his hand on Hajime’s shoulder. It was clear the male was trying to flirt with Hajime.

Fuyuhiko stormed up to them, “Hey.” Just as the guy turned around, Fuyuhiko struck him in the jaw.

“Jesus Christ bro!” Natsumi yelled “Seriously?! Why are you attacking my friends?!”

“Well tell your fucking “friend” to keep his hands to himself!!” Fuyuhiko snapped.

Hajime flinched, shit he felt like this was a little bit of his fault.

“Why do you care so much?! Hajime is just trying to enjoy himself!”

“I care because-” wait, why did Fuyuhiko care so much? “Because…..” he grabbed Hajime’s arm and pulled him towards him “isn’t it obvious? I brought him as my date! Cause! We’re dating! Yeah! That’s it!” Fuyuhiko proclaimed, the heat rising on his cheeks.

Hajime felt his whole face turn red, did he hear him right? Natsumi looked between the two, studying both their faces.

“Oh. My bad bro I didn’t know!” She smirked at Hajime, “I’m surprised you didn’t mention you’re dating my brother.”

“Oh well...it’s..” hajime looked at Fuyuhiko “We just recently started dating!”

“Yeah!” Fuyuhiko chimed in, “We..started dating...this past week!”

“Yeah..uhhh, Fuyuhiko asked me out.” Hajime smirked a bit “I seriously never seen him so flushed, he was all so shy and nervous. Had a letter and everything. It was just so cute.”

“HUH?!” Fuyuhiko glared at him “I think you’re remembering things wrong! Yeah I asked you out but YOU were the one who was all shy! You guys should have seen him! The bastard was practically sobbing because he was so flustered.”

Natsumi smirked watching the two, “Please tell us more!”

“Yeah please do!” another person chimed in

“Where did he confess?”

“How long have you liked him?”

“Have you two gone on any dates yet?”

“So is he like your eye candy?”

“Wait, the boss likes men?”

Hajime and Fuyuhiko were bombarded with questions. The two looked at each other, well there was no turning back now.

The supposed yuzuka gathering turned into a hearing of Hajime and Fuyuhiko's love story, everyone was invested. The two tried to bounce off of each other’s stories, but also both tried to embarrass the other in some way.

“If I remembered correctly, you were the one staring at me in the locker rooms.” Hajime smirked

“Like hell I was! You’re one to talk! You’re not slick, you were practically drooling over me in there. Now that I think about it, you did tell Nagito that you liked me.” Fuyuhiko chuckled.

“Oh...well I do guess saying I like chihuahuas is the same thing.”

“THE FUCK YOU SAY?!”

The room busted out in laughter.

“Awww you two are just two cute.” Natsumi smiled, “I didn’t know bro was such a romantic!”

“Shut the fuck up you bitch.” Fuyuhiko growled.

Natsumi just smiled, “I have to say it was such an interesting story, but I think we’re all tired of hearing about your love life.”

Thank god, both of them sighed in relief.

“We want to see! So give us a kiss!”

“WHAT?!” Both of them yelled at her.

“Yeah, kiss him!”

“Kiss!”

“Come on!”

The whole room was chanting for them to kiss.

“I mean it’s natural for you two. YOU DID SAY your first kiss was in your classroom late at the end of a school day.” Natsumi snickered, “So is a simple kiss a problem?”

The two males looked at each other, feeling their cheeks turn red.

“Ok…” Hajime said

“No problem, no problem at all....” Fuyuhiko mumbled.

The two awkwardly faced each other. They fumbled with their hands not knowing where to place them. Fuyuhiko grumbled and rested his hand on Hajime’s waist. Awkwardly, Hajime draped his arms over Fuyuhiko’s shoulders. Hajime looked down at him, he never saw Fuyuhiko so nervous.

“Everyone is staring…” Hajime whispered.

“yeah...I know...can’t really turn back now..” Fuyhukio tried to avoid eye contact.

Hajime slowly leaded down, he felt Fuyuhiko’s grip tighten a bit around his waist. Testing the waters, Hajime brushed his lips against the yakuza, giving him one last chance to back out. Even though their lips were barely apart, the shorter one mumbled something the taller one could not pick up. Hajime was taken back when Fuyuhiko actually closed the gap.

Their lips felt awkward at first, smooshed against each other, but they worked with it. Hajime felt himself lean in deeper, as Fuyuhiko brought a hand up to cup Hajime’s cheek, trying to pull the taller male closer against him. The two almost forgot they were in a room filled with people watching him. Almost.

They quickly broke the kiss when they heard a flash of a camera. Fuyuhiko head shot around to see Natsumi holding her phone up with a shit eating grin.

“DELETE THAT!!!” Fuyuhiko screamed

“No thank you!” Natsumi ran off laughing.

Before he chased her, Fuyuhiko turned his attention to the crowd “WHAT?! You got what you wanted! Now fuck off!” He then ran off screaming at Natsumi to delete the picture.

The rest of the night is uneventful. Some people came up to congratulate Hajime and Fuyuhiko on their couple status.

Hajime could not stop thinking about the kiss though. He looked over at Fuyuhiko who was chatting with someone. It didn’t seem like the kiss was getting to him as much as it was to Hajime.

Hajime felt his heart tug a bit. He guessed the kiss did not mean much to Fuyuhiko. I mean why would it? They weren’t even dating. But also, what now? Were they going to stage some big breakup or something?

As the party ended, Fuyuhiko walked Hajime out to the car he had arranged to take Hajime home.

“So….that was something..” Fuyuhiko said.

“Yeah...sure it was..” Hajime looked down at his feet.

“Sorry..for forcing you into that silly narrivate.”

“Oh it’s nothing..I mean it was kind of fun...well I mean..I played along so yeah..” Hajime nervously chuckled.

“yeah ...yeah…”

“You know...funny enough, earlier that retail lady said you and I were cute..heh she thought we were boyfriends, and ummm, I didn’t correct her..” he explained.

“Is that so…?” Fuyuhiko said.

“Yeah...so haha. Anyways I guess we can stage a breakup or something like that.”

“Yeah we can..or we can do something else rather than lie again..”

Hajime looked up to meet Fuyuhiko’s gaze, the shorter male had taken a few steps closer.

“We can make those previous lies true..I mean like...the story about our first date. I honestly..umm fuck...I mean if the park and dinner is an good ideal for you as a..first date..” Fuyuhiko's gaze focused on Hajime’s tie.

Hajime felt his heart race, did Fuyuhiko just ask him on a date?

“I…” Hajime grabbed Fuyuhiko’s hand, the shorter male looking up to meet his gaze, “I would really enjoy that..”

Fuyuhiko blushed and nodded. He let go of Hajime’s hand and opened the car door for him.

“Text me when you get home.”

“Yeah I will.” Hajime got into the car.

“hajime ..”

“yeah ?”

Fuyuhiko grabbed his hand again, and kissed his palm “despite what happened, I..really enjoyed tonight.”

“Yeah me too,” Hajime smiled.

The two waved goodbye and Fuyuhiko closed the car door. He waited on the side of the crib until the car was out of sight. Fuyuhiko rubbed his face, mumbling, feeling his face become flushed again.

“Fuck.”

[adorethedistance]

British. Handsome. Charming. - Harry Styles x Reader Retail!AU

Sorta requested.

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive situations, I say titties like once

Words: 2108

Summary: When your coworker calls out and leaves you alone for a graveyard shift, you unintentionally enlist the help of a certain British, handsome, and charming retail employee from next door.

A/N: Hello this is my piece for @meetmeinfleetwood​ ‘s “to lovers” fic challenge! I put my ‘to lovers’ trope as Coworkers Harry and Y/n but I’m kind of riffing off of that trope because I wanted to do employees at different stores in the same section of the mall.

“So, Ziva just called out...” I hear my manager Kelly break the news from behind me. A groan threatens to escape my lungs but I fight the urge as best as possible to save face in front of customers. This is the third time Ziva’s called out of her graveyard shift in the past two weeks. Tonight, we were supposed to unpack the new shipment of holiday tees, gag gifts, and decorations. On a normal night, I can handle floor set by myself, but the added challenge of holiday items and displays is a different story.

“If I take another lunch right now, I can stay and help with the floor set.”

“No,” I wave her off, already dreading the exhaustion that is bound to set in, “Go home. You’ve already done your full eight, I can fly solo for tonight.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go before I regret letting you!” Kelly smiles with the tip of her tongue peaking through her teeth. She thanks me for freeing her and I finish straightening the last of the yellow champion hoodies on the rack in front of me.

“The boxes are on the left side in the backroom.” Backroom… got it.

Working at Tilly’s was supposed to be my high school job. At the end of Junior year, I opted for a minimum wage position to earn some extra spending money. If I’d known I would be attending the most local university in this godforsaken town, I would’ve picked a better gig; one that pays more. Or at least one that doesn’t schedule me from 7:30PM to 3AM.

The store closes at ten but the other four ish hours are for rearranging the entire floor layout. I have to redistribute the table full of graphic tees strategically around the store to make room for the holiday items we just received. With someone else’s help I could expect to be finished by 12:30. Maybe 1. Ziva calling out wasn’t part of the plan however, so I don’t expect to be finished early at all. If anything, I might have to rush to finish before my shift ends.

Not to mention I have a prose analysis final draft due tomorrow by midnight. Ziva better have some damn good excuses when she gets back.

Readjusting the waistband of my favorite jeans against my body, I head to the dressing rooms to double check for any stragglers. Upon finding myself alone, I go lock the front doors and flick off the glowing “open” sign in the front window. Hopefully time will fly faster than it has since I got here. I should’ve asked Kelly to grab me a coffee or a coke to get me through the rest of the shift. Maybe I should do some coke to get me through the rest of the shift.

Okay. What did Kelly say?

Backroom... Was that all? I hesitantly prop the storeroom’s door with the small, tan, rubber wedge before trying to take in the overwhelming mess of the backroom. The room has painfully bright overhead LED lights illuminating my path; the brightness is mirrored off the polished concrete floors under my feet. Considering there’s no holiday bullshit directly in front of me, Kelly must have given me more directions than just ‘backroom’. Graphic tees, sunglasses, jewelry. Nothing.

In my most goddamn genius idea yet, I search the top of the self of the storeroom to see the holiday boxes sealed and intact. Lovely. I can graze the surface of the top shelf with my fingertips just enough to get them dusty, but not enough to pull down any boxes.

Fuck.

This is what we have a ladder for, but we lent it out to the Zara next door. I don’t know what time they close but intuition tells me it's soon. Figuring I have nothing to lose, I dash out of the back room and unlock the front door to round the corner into Zara. Right as I exit the store, I run into someone hard enough to lose my balance, but not hard enough to take the other person down, thank god.

“Woahhh, you alright there?” British.

I look up to the face of the person I collided with. Handsome.

“I’m so sorry, I need to get to Zara.”

“I’m afraid you’re too late for that.” The handsome stranger’s statement catches me off guard and the fog of my rushed mindset disappears. Charming.

“What?”

“Jus’ locked up, I’m afraid.” I look at the completely dark storefront, and then back at the stranger. His gleaming green eyes catch mine and, cliché-ly, I’m rendered breathless by the exquisite nature of his face. Employee.

“You work at Zara,” I state dumbly.

“That, I do. And you work…?” Dropping my eyes to my worn work shoes, I’m suddenly overwhelmingly shy about working at Tilly’s.

“Tilly’s, next door. We lent you guys our step ladder and I need it back.”

“Shit,” the man smiles softly, nervously scratching the back of his neck. “I have the key to the store, but I don’t have the key to the supply closet where we kept it.”

“Dammit.” When I pull out my phone to check the time, I groan at the loss of another ten minutes. “By any chance do you guys conveniently have a step ladder that isn’t in an inaccessible closet?” The beautiful man laughs at my question and shakes his head no.

“We don’t, but I am pretty tall, maybe I could help?”

“You’re not that tall.”

“Taller than you.” My teasing is cut short by the man’s quip and I lead him into the store with conviction.

“Basically, I’m supposed to reconfigure the entire floor layout around the table for all the holiday merch, and the shipment came in but someone brilliantly placed them on the top shelf of the back room.”

“Which is why you need the step ladder from the closet that I can’t open. Gotcha.”

“If you could just get those three boxes from the top shelf right there that’d be wonderful.” After clocking the boxes in question, he nods wordlessly, and slips off his nice coat, no doubt a piece from the store next door. Underneath, he’s wearing a grey button up of which he begins rolling up the sleeves to. The action made me stop breathing for a second. His forearms are littered with tattoos of various drawings, one in particular catching my eye.

It’s a two dimensional mermaid figure with no seashell-bra, her skin transitioning into scales only after exposing her pubic bone. In the fluorescent lighting of the store, it’s clear as day that this is quite possibly the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. What’s he doing working at an outlet mall?

Zoning back in, I see he’s already hard at work. With a box no doubt full of gag gifts on his shoulder, he speaks again.

“I’m Harry by the way.”

I return the gesture and he smiles when he hears my name.

“Pretty.”

Returning his attention to the second box, he reaches up to slide the box closer to the edge of the shelf. When he does so, the hem of his grey shirt rides up to reveal a tiny strip of his toned abdomen, where two mirrored stems of fern leaves are tattooed in strikingly black ink.

I blink quickly a few times to redirect my focus, and divert my attention to the floor where he’s set the first box. This leads me to notice the brown suede chelsea boots he’s wearing. Black coat, grey shirt, brown shoes. Interesting.

“Oh shit!” I hear him mutter in a hushed voice. Looking up to the top of the shelf, I see that the last box has already been opened. Harry is balancing it between both limbs, his shoulder, and his head, but any movement would cause the contents of the box to fall out.

I rush forward to help. Moving the flaps of the box back over the top, I reach across Harry’s body to move them. Then, to keep them shut I place one palm on top of the seam, and use the other hand to support the bottom of the box. It isn’t until I stop moving that I notice the position I’ve put us in. I’m reaching up as far as I can to secure the top of the box which has placed the entire front side of my body to the back of his. I’m painfully aware of how my hips are pressed against his ass, and he must be painfully aware of the way my titties are pressed against his upper back.

“I’m gonna move backwards so it’s off the shelf. Just hold the top in place until I have it right side up again, yea?” I nod dumbly in response before realizing he can’t see me.

“Yeah, got it.” And with that he begins to back up little by little, moving at a pace slow enough for me to consistently adjust. The box is almost intact, but I’ve run out of space from standing behind Harry, and I have to maneuver myself around him whilst keeping the box shut. I cringe before doing what I have to do, and shuffling around the side of Harry’s body, my frontside pressed against him the entire time.

Finally, it’s over and we can set the box down on top of the other two. Harry stands up straight again and dusts off his hands. He adjusts his jeans, pulling them back up his hips, and I have to keep myself from staring once more.

“Anythin’ else I can do for you?”

“I don’t think so? That’s pretty much all the heavy lifting I have to do tonight.” He nods understandingly and… dare I say disappointed? I’m probably just projecting.

“Are you alone tonight?”

“Yeah, my coworker called out, but it’s fine. My boss Kelly got most of the work done earlier when she unpacked a lot of the boxes and folded the shirts into piles, so…”

“I could help.”

“You don’t need to do that. You’re already off and I’m sure you’re exhausted and-”

“I want to.” I guess I wasn’t projecting.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. That way you can go home earlier.” His smile is soft and lopsided until we connect eyes, in which case it brightens to reveal his pearly teeth. I fall shy under his gaze and avert my eyes to the concrete floor below us. My cheeks are radiating at about 1000° and I hope he doesn’t notice.

“Thank you,” I say, more flustered than I would have liked. Why am I getting so nervous? He’s just a retail employee at Zara.

A gorgeous employee at Zara.

“I don’t mind staying back... Spending more time with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Since I already know what you do for a living, what are your hobbies?” He ignores my question.

“I don’t have much time for hobbies. I’m only part-time while I’m in uni.”

“No way, what are you studying?”

I proceed to tell Harry all about my major and my career aspirations post-graduation and post-retail. I enjoy telling people about my dreams and yet, Harry’s the first person I’ve met in a long time that’s shown any interest in me and my dreams. The way he nods attentively despite having to fold misconstrued t-shirts and holiday sweaters, ignites a fire in my stomach that warms my heart. They way he asks hyper specific, prompting questions to learn more about my plans contrasts the fire inside me by sending chills down my spine.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What are your dreams?” Harry stops folding for a moment and exhales a conflicted sigh.

“I’m not too sure at the moment. I’m content at Zara for the moment, and I haven’t decided what’s next. I do write music though.”

“You do?”

“A bit, yeah.”

“What kind of music?” He stops to think again, a bit less conflicted than before.

“It’s like, indie-folk-pop-rock ish.”

“Indie-folk-pop-rock ish?” I can’t contain the laughter spilling from my lips over the mountain of folded t-shirts.

“Yeah. A good bit of variety, really.”

“Well, it’s nice you have something to be passionate about.”

“Judging by how you talked about your dreams for an hour, I wouldn’t say I’m as passionate as you are about your studies.”

“Passion isn’t a competition. It’s what moves you forward as an individual.” It’s Harry’s turn to laugh at me.

“Okay, Gandhi.”

“Hush! I’m allowed to be philosophical.” His laugh draws into a closed-mouth smile, from humor to an adoration of sorts.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” I unintentionally mirror his affectionate smile.

“Promise?”

***

A/N: This was absolutely one of those fics that, the longer I stared at it, the more I hated it and cut it down so here’s what’s remaining before I destroyed the whole thing. It’s def a puff piece and not an in depth fic but nuance is not my friend right now so, sorry about it :(

Taglist: @curlybrownhairedboys​ @meetmeinfleetwood​

[deannaroxannewrites]

Tropetember Day 2: Coffee Shop / Tattoo Parlor / Flower Shop / Other Retail AU

Coffee and other ways to heal the soul.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Rating: General Audiences

TW: Valhalla arc (mentioned), coffee, NCIS cameo

AN: Day 2 of @tropetember. I was really struggling with the coffee shop AU but once I got going, really got way too into it and could probably pad this out into a short series. Is that something people would be interested in?

Also, not really sure if I managed to capture Spencer but remember this is an AU and that's my excuse!

Enjoy!

Find this story on Ao3 here.

Word Count: 2.4k

One of the biggest advantages of owning one of the few coffee shops in Quantico that wasn't part of a massive chain, was the constant stream of senior FBI and Navy personnel desperate for high quality, well made coffee. It had become such a lucrative venture in fact that you could afford to hire enough staff to rarely even have to be behind the counter at all.

The surge in popularity has even allowed you to convert one of the spare upstairs rooms into a meeting room. In hindsight, you should have converted more because once your regulars found out about it, there had been outright war between the Navy and FBI to try and get meetings booked in. A couple of your regulars had even managed to get both institutions to hardwire connections so they could host even more briefings and meetings in the friendly, comfortable space.

Today's winners were a Unit from the FBI, who had booked it out for a whole day. Aaron Hotchner, the BAU chief, came in most mornings and was a real sweetheart. You'd been trying to get him to drink something other than his normal americano since his return from Afghanistan a few months ago, but had not been successful so far. You were excited to meet the rest of the legendary team. He always spoke fondly of them when he bought extra coffees to boost morale.

With that in mind, you quickly throw together the pastries and beverages he'd preordered for the start of their session and head in to do a quick check that everything was ready.

Like any meeting room, there was a large table in the center but you'd made sure to surround it with comfy and artfully mismatched chairs. The floor was a deep walnut colour and matched the numerous floating shelves which were covered in plants and books. The place was homey and extended the cosy chic look you had been trying to achieve throughout the shop.

After a little bit of organising, including making sure the FBI cables were accessible and tidying any of the Navy’s equipment, you head downstairs to the main space.

Charlotte and Jessica were behind the tills this morning, making quick work of the line and exuding friendly helpfulness out of every pore. They were both grad students and you were already dreading them graduating. Their natural effervescence would be impossible to replace.

To pass the time until your booking arrives, you catch up with NCIS Agent McGee who is on the coffee run, trying not to hold him up too long in case he ends up getting in more trouble with his big bad boss. Apparently Agent DiNozzo had knocked over Gibbs coffee but McGee had then slipped in it and done some minor damage to some of the equipment. He told you he much preferred coffee run to door knocking duty round a 6 block radius like DiNozzo.

As you wrap it up, a group of people enter the shop, led by a woman in colourful clothes and a sunshine demeanour. It's not until you see Agent Hotchner's suited and booted presence bringing up the rear that you realise this is the infamous BAU.

Donning your friendliest persona, you politely excuse yourself from McGee and head to greet them, calling Aaron's name across the way.

The profilers seem surprised by your use of their bosses name but quickly shake it off as introductions are made. You receive hand shakes off most of them with the exception of Penelope, who gives you a hug because of course she does, and Dr Spencer Reid who gives you a shy wave and looks like he'd rather be anywhere else.

It didn't take a profiler to see the physical distance between the genius and the rest of the group. He was always a step away from the nearest person and automatically avoided any physical contact from them.

How strange.

Brushing it off you lead them upstairs and get them settled, letting them know that they're welcome to come and go in the shop as need and that all their drinks would be added to the discounted tab and left them too it, all the while trying not to puzzle over the handsome loner and his cute sweater vest.

-----

If there was one thing Spencer Reid hated more than anything, it was team building.

Normally, back before everything happened, he would just grit his teeth and bear it. That's been a lot harder after finding out that Emily was alive.

Processing the joy at her being alive and the rage at being led to believe she was dead in the first place, particularly by the people he trusted the most, was not easy. He was trying to forgive them. He was trying to let it go, to accept the damage but move forward.

It was still a work in progress.

That's why, when Hotch announced a team building/meeting day, he had momentarily considered resigning. Though there was no longer outright hostility between himself and Jennifer, things weren’t exactly comfortable between himself and half of the team. The only bright side to this whole endeavour was the location. No coffee shop lasted long in Quantico unless the coffee was actually good. It was a small mercy.

He followed the rest of the team into the coffee shop, eyeing the surroundings and taking note of the other visitors. As the rest of the team joked about, he stayed back, simply waving at the nice owner of the shop when Hotch introduced them.

They appeared to be about his age which was very impressive considering the success of the café. And there were a couple of sci-fi references hidden in the décor that he would have loved to ask about, but he doubted they’d appreciate him going off about Star Trek this early in the morning. Instead he just gave a tight-lipped smile and followed the team upstairs.

Spencer tried his best to concentrate throughout the morning but to say he was relieved when they were left to their own devices for lunch would be an understatement.

-----

After a productive morning in the office, you wander back out to the main part of the shop to check on things. The lunch rush can be unforgiving but the girls seem to have it in hand. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Tuesday lunchtime.

What you didn’t expect to see was Spencer Reid hidden away at one of the back tables with a ginormous book in front of him, a small scowl on his face and the rest of his team nowhere in sight.

You agonise silently with yourself for a few moments before you decide to head over. You figure if he doesn’t want company he’ll let you know but you feel drawn to him. It was strange. Maybe it was just your instinctive need to collect strays.

You smile gently at him when you reach his table, indicating the seat opposite him in question. He gives a quick nod but doesn’t fully look at you.

“Everything ok?” you ask.

He takes a moment and seems to be considering his options. He looks at you with a little tilt of his head, likely questioning your motives.

Finally, he seems to decide you have no sinister intention and quietly replies “I just wish things could go back to how they were”.

You had heard about the events involving the BAU in the last year or so. It had been a hot topic of gossip in the shop numerous times. Aaron also occasionally talked about his guilt at what he put his team through when he stopped by, needing a friend to talk to. It’s the first time, however, that you think in depth about how faking a close friend's death likely affected the team members who were unaware.

This isn’t to say you didn’t care or didn’t think that it must have been terrible for them. You did, but had agreed with the justification that it was for Agent Prentiss’ safety, that finding out she was alive would make up for it. It’s apparent in the sadness of Dr Reid’s expression that that isn’t the case.

“Can I touch you?”

His eyes shoot up in surprise and he hesitantly nods. You gently grasp his hands, wrapping your fingers around his.

“I can’t even imagine,” you begin slowly, “how difficult this must be. But if you ever need to talk to someone, you’re always welcome here”

He gives a short, sharp nod and squeezes your fingers which you take to mean thank you.

“Also, this is totally not my place but, a therapist, one outside the Bureau? Might not be such a bad idea?” You give a sardonic grin and admit ” It worked for me”

After you give his hands another quick squeeze, you leave him to ponder your statement and head back to your office. Paperwork doesn’t do it self after all.

You hope Spencer manages to find some support though and decide that if he wants it, you’d be more than willing to help him.

---------------

It was a few weeks before Spencer Reid showed up in the coffee shop again.

It was early evening and you only had a few people in. You’d opted to close up tonight to ensure Jessica, who had been on the afternoon shift, had time to work on her assignment for class. She’d been complaining about it for the last few days.

The sound of the front door opening distracts you from your thoughts and you glance up to see who has entered. When you realise who it is you can’t help but smile.

“Fancy seeing you here Dr Reid” you say in greeting. He gives you a small smile in return.

“Well, it’s good coffee and, erm, the company’s good?”

You understand the question implicit in that comment and glance around at the few remaining patrons. They all have a beverage and it’s a quiet night so you can afford to take a step out behind the counter between orders.

“Sure, let me make us both a drink and then I’m all yours.”

You take his order (how much sugar?!?!) and get you both sorted out and settled into a small booth. You look at him, taking in the nervous expression on his face and let him settle in and start the conversation.

“I, erm, I took your advice”.

“That’s good. Are you finding it’s helping? Having someone outside of work to talk things through with?”

He nods his head.

“One of the things she pointed out was that so much of my life is wrapped up in work, that when things go wrong I don't have an external support system. Not that I didn't know that already but, someone else pointing it out made me realise how much if an impact it has.”

You bob your head thoughtfully, acknowledging his comment but not forcing him to say more.

“She suggested I try to find people outside of work to talk to. I was... I was wondering if you could be one?”

His nerves seem to have failed him slightly as he can’t look you in the eye, but you give him a big grin. Of course you want to spend time with this lovely man.

“I’d love to” you say, which gets him to look up and give you a smile in response.

You spend nearly an hour, with occasional breaks to serve customers, chatting to him before it becomes necessary to close up. He starts gathering his things but you’ve been enjoying his company so much you can’t bear to let him go. Instead, you check if he’s in a rush and, after confirming he has nothing else planned, invite him to hang around and grab something to eat from the diner down the street.

By the end of the night, you’re glad the diner is 24hr. You completely lose track of time, fascinated by the sheer amount of information he can provide and the passion with which he infodumps. It’s extremely endearing.

“I had a lovely time tonight” you tell him as you walk towards your apartment. You don’t live too far from the coffee shop and he had very gallantly offered to walk you home. “I’d love to do it again some time?”

He smiles and nods in agreement before asking for your phone number.

“I don't really like technology that much so I don’t have a smartphone and I don’t really check it that much and prefer speaking to texting…”

“Spence” you say, a little laugh in your voice as you interrupt. “Whatever works best for you. I’m not going to suddenly vanish on you, promise.”

You seem to have hit his worries a little too closely as he sways a little awkwardly, gaze wandering down to his feet.

“Can I hug you?” you check. His answer is to wrap his arms around you and you gently sway the both of you side to side.

He lets go and turns to head back out into the night as you call out “If you’re ever missing me, I know a place you can get great coffee. I can get you a good discount.” A laugh stutters from his lips and he wishes you a good night.

Leaning against your door you sigh happily to yourself. It’s always a good feeling making a new friend.

--------------

It had been over a year since the last time the BAU had booked (and managed to attend the booking). In that time, you’d converted another room upstairs into a meeting room, as well as setting up a shared work/study space in a room out the back.

You grin as you see them all enter, fascinated by the way this family of agents interact with each other. There’s even a tall, handsome genius who stands within the group, laughing and joking along with the rest.

Spencer greets you with a gentle kiss to your lips and it causes uproar from his colleagues. You don’t react much, you just turn to them and shrug.

“Do you know how many germs are passed in a handshake? It’s much safer to kiss.”

Your genius just laughs and wraps an arm around you, guiding the whole group upstairs, his friends playfully demanding details the whole way.

[tabbycasto]

Let’s Talk Pedicures

Are your feet pedi ready? I offer a range of pedicures and this post will give you a quick break down of the two main Pedicure Brands I offer. Within each brand there are a variety of options so which Pedicure should you go for?

Footlogix Peducueticals OR Famous Names Releaf ?

Lets start by discussing the two main differences between Footlogix and Famous Names Releaf, the two brands I use for my pedi services. It’s worth noting that both are vegan friendly & cruelty free! 

Footlogix 

Footlogix is the worlds first and only Pediceutical® brand which uses innovative products formulated with revolutionary Dermal Infusion Technology® and Spiraleen® to give effective and transformational results for a variety of foot related skin conditions. Footlogix offers mini home after care options tailored to specific foot needs (such as cracked heels, sweaty feet or even peeling skin) so you can keep up with your footcare on a daily or weekly bases depending on how much improvement you want to see and how quickly. 

Footlogix carries active ingredients past the Stratum Corneum into the layers of the epidermis, helping to restore the health of the skin. This technology ensures that the Footlogix® active ingredients penetrate into the layers of the epidermis and reach the targeted areas. With no greasy outer layer to occlude it, the skin is hydrated and retains its ability to function normally, resulting in healthy feet. 

Footlogix is famous for its cult Callus Treatment which transform dry callus skin instantly! See just some of my before/after transformations using the Footlogix  Callus Treatment & Pedicure Range below :

I offer this Callus Treatment in both my Happy Pedicure & Luxury Pedicure options and you can also add a gel polish to either of these Treatments for just an extra £10.

Famous Names Releaf 

Famous Names have JUST launched their new Releaf Pedicure, co created by some of the biggest industry players and made sustainably with natural powerful ingredients in mind. If you’re a regular customer of mine, you may already have tried some of the Famous Names products as they make one of my favourite skin oils and lotions “ Dadi Oil” and “Dadi Lotion” which I retail and use in the treatment room at the end of most services. Fun fact : Dadi Oil, Dadi Lotion and Dadi Scrub are all named by the creators daughter Nikki who was asked when she was a little girl what to call the products... she said Daddy Oil as her father Jim created them. Incidentally, Jim also worked for CND for a time and created CND Solar Oil. 

Unlike the Footlogix Pedicure, which is considered to be a “medi pedi” or “pedicuetical” pedicure, Famous Names Releaf focuses on natural ingredients & sustainability and is considered to be more of a spa-like or cosmetic pedicure.

The creators of Releaf wanted a fun highly effective pedicure system that is wonderful for your feet, but also kind to the environment. One year in the making, they’ve utilised as many natural ingredients sourced from sustainable sources as possible and created Releaf ! 

The Releaf Pedicure line uses a new trademarked AU Complex, mixing together the hydrating and soothing properties of Allantoin and Urea as well as Eucalyptus : 

In this Pedi Range, Famous Names Dadi Lotion and Scrub have been given an uplift as well with the new AU Complex infused alongside the regular 21 essential organic oils!

I offer two Releaf Pedicures, Releaf Gold and Releaf Platinum. The main difference is the Platinum option offers a shot of the Urea in the soak to add even more hydration to dry tired feet and finishes with not just the Dadi Oil, but also a powerful CBD based Elixir (which has a 4% concentration of CBD in it) aimed to help soothe muscle aches and tensions. 

In my opinion both Pedicure brands offer a real feet treat. Once you’ve chosen a pedicure from the menu below, upon booking in I will send you a Pre Pedi Consultation form which gives me a little bit more info about how I can help you achieve your footcare goals. 

*Please note that I will refer unhealthy toes/feet to a podiatrist as these fall outside the remits of my practice and insurance. If you’re unsure if you should come for a pedi with me, just drop me a DM, I’m happy to discuss if I can help you or not and I can recommend a great podiatrist ! (This would include things such as ingrown toe nails, fungal nail infections or veruccas or planter warts. It’s best to get these sort of things looked at my a medical professional and treated as soon as possible so don’t feel embarrassed if you need to ask about this sort of thing! ) I currently do not offer treatments to male clients,  anyone under the age of 18 or offer services where clients can bring friends or someone else with them. I’m doing my best to keep to all Covid secure guidelines so we have a safe and happy space!  Thanks for your patience and understanding :)

My menu is broken down above so you can choose the best option for you and you can book in directly here: https://trw.page.link/XzaZ 

[agathaharknes]

yennaia + gamer au

This was supposed to be three sentences and definitely not crack but I just had to... sksjsjssksjjs.

Yennaia prompt: Gamer AU.

LINK TO ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN IN THE REPLIES.

Word count: 1.8k+ Pairing: Yennaia. Rating: T.

Tissaia really had no idea why she was doing this. Perhaps to appease Rita. Perhaps because her addiction to nicotine had worsened over the course of one year of a bloody Continent-wide pandemic and she was loath to use her credit card every time she needed a new pack of cigarettes. Perhaps she was going through a midlife crisis to cope with the fact that being the Chancellor of Aretuza College was already stressful enough without half the generations there trying to fool her subordinates into thinking cardboard replicas or even mannequins counted as attendance or simply because the rest of the Board of Governors (Stregobor) couldn't differentiate between what could be said through an email and what required her to clean her entire house so the background of her call was pristine.

Her controller vibrated in her hands, (Why, for the love of the Gods, couldn't that setting be turned off?) her knuckles turning white from gripping it so strongly. "Oh, for fu- heaven's sake." There, she had been ambushed. Again. A funny and wholly unexpected thing happened, though, one of the users turned on her companions, offing the lot of them with clean headshots the brunette definitely couldn't pull off in the span of twenty seconds.

"Uhh..." What does one say when your virtual saviour just betrayed her entire party on a whim and was being cursed at obnoxiously loudly and vulgarly for it?

Yennefer ignored Sabrina calling her names that absolutely applied to her and her hormonal reaction to a lovely blue-eyed MILF the likes of which she had only seen in her dreams. "No thanks needed, love. I was getting tired of seeing you frown like someone had keyed your car every time you got killed. A pretty thing like you should only have cause to smile." Oh, Gods, now she sounded like a creepy old man that lived in his mum's basement. Great. Good job. Her Social Studies major was an absolute hit. Fuck her life. Fuck Oxenfurt College. And fuck Sabrina's witch-like cackling while she was at it. "Name’s Yennefer." She choked out miserably.

Tissaia scowled at her laptop. Hackers. Amazing. This was the best day of her new normal life. "Mind telling me how you broke through the most expensive antivirus in the Continent, dear? Because now I really need a refund." Now she also needed to contact Aretuza’s IT team on a Saturday night, because she was not about to mess any further with these blasphemous machines, thank you very much.

Wait, what? "That wasn't me... You left your camera on." The woman legitimately squealed at that, her oversized jumper sliding down her left shoulder and exposing just a glimpse of her collarbone as she pinned up her hair into a bun with... were those pens fashioned as swords? Oh, bugger, this was so not the time to get turned on! "Are you alright?" Mercifully Sabrina, Renfri and Phillipa were already accosting someone else, else she was sure the brunette would've completely lost it, more than she already was doing, anyways. "Hello?" No answer.

Tissaia was fishing for her boots when she started ranting, “Oh, don’t you worry! I’m fine! Just dandy! This is exactly how I wanted my life to go.” She motioned with her hand to the space around her. “I wished for nothing more than dealing with complete morons from nine to six, five days a week, whilst trying to make sure my sanity doesn't desert me.” Biting her lower lip for a moment she began checking that the ends of the laces were the same length when she pulled them up. “Running right after to my local grocery store to buy more instant meals that are probably going to give me cancer in five years if the bullshit articles my mother keeps sending me-”

Yennefer had told herself she wasn’t going to allow this wasn’t going to get any creepier than her misguided comment but she still had a gift code for that nice liquor store which conveniently had retailers popping up every six blocks everywhere for the last few months, especially in Thanned isle, only Gods knew why. “This bloody succubus of a twat that is my best friend has been forcing me to constantly use this cursed game by changing the password for my email and then Aretuza’s server and then-” Bingo. One text to Philippa and they had her IP address, with a mortified Triss already calling Jaskier since she was the only one that had managed to get a decent scholarship at that posh college.

This was her future wife who was about to jump from a bridge from the looks of her and they just had to do humanity a great service by saving her from herself and from sobriety.

“Can you believe that tosser? I am a lesbian! I spent my teenage years clad in flannel until my girlfriends staged an intervention kind of lesbian! Yes, Vilgefortz, I will sue you for harassment in the workplace and I will blacklist you. No, Vilgefortz, I don’t want to break quarantine to go on a date with you and I definitely do not want your disgusting cologne anywhere near my-” Tissaia’s head shot up, her doorbell was ringing and she pinched the bridge of her nose, reaching for a new, disposable, mask.

“You stay right there.” She threatened the girl, who had the most beautiful violet… Perhaps she really ought to let Coral get her a therapist. It rang again. “Gods-damn-it.” She thought.

Her plan was going marvellously. She would only have to sleep with a knife under her pillow for a few weeks for blackmailing Sabrina (Who honestly hadn’t the slightest talent to pass off plagiarism as a sudden stroke of genius in her final project without her aid.) into going along with this. The blonde was lighting the candles around the monitor without trying to burn her hair off and had given away her best bottle of cheap but still good wine for the cause. Thanks to Renfri and her frankly psychotic, owl obsessed, girlfriend she already knew what she would be replacing her trauma-ridden last name with! Splendid!

The brunette shut the door on Jaskier’s face after taking the brown paper bag from his hands, spraying the bottle of vodka inside it with so much disinfectant that it dripped down onto her carpet. Taking off her gloves and disposing of them, she grabbed a knife from the counter and ignoring the annoying blue light that came from the kitchen table, “Oh, shit. You’re soulmates. I’ll tell the rest of the girls we’re all fucked.” Tissaia cut off the upper part of the glass in one smooth hit, like Calanthe had taught her when the then teacher could still be considered fun by her groups of friends.

“Shut up, tiddybug!” She heard Yennefer sing-song.

Feeling like being crass the blue-eyed woman took a rather large swing directly from the bottle. Sitting back down, she sighed. Yennefer took a dignified sip from her wine; she could do balanced when her significant other to-be needed to let loose. “Did you like the bottle? It has good reviews from… wait a minute… apparently several alcoholics who don’t know what a budget is.”

Tissaia’s face paled. “I thought you weren’t a hacker.” The woman muttered. She didn’t fancy getting kidnapped and… No, no, no. Fucking Rita. What was the cost of moving, again? If she slept four hours less a day and split her cleaning time in two she could probably trade this house for Stregobor's in-

“I am not!” Yennefer cried. Bloody hell. “You just mentioned that you worked at Aretuza and-” Sabrina had probably started a group call and Phillipa was indeed hacking into her computer to save her arse. The Redanian was currently writing a script for her to follow. “Your username in the game is your surname. My friends and I tried to get into that school a few years back and I do remember that the Chancellor is a woman and that her last name is de Vries.” Her username wasn’t her last name, it was actually something that suggested she was an Ice Queen of the highest order. Queen Elsa from the movie Frozen would be intimidated kind of Ice Queen.

“Everyone is aware the highest-ranking members of the faculty live in chalets near the castle, pardon, the building.” True. According to Triss, that was a part of their contract that if unfulfilled prohibited them from working there ever again. To Yennefer that seemed borderline cruel, forcing them to be available at all hours like circus animals for juniors that didn’t deserve their spots.

“My best friend is a student there and she knows which one is your home because she wants to eventually be a teacher.” Partially true. Until that day came, Triss, like any rational individual, avoided the Chapter’s Village like the plague lingered inside, and wouldn’t be caught dead there unless she had to stop Sabrina from doing something stupid because of the anarchist phase she was going through. Jaskier was an acquaintance of hers of sorts because Triss had tutored his boyfriend Geralt in Biology and being daddy’s boy, he knew which one was Tissaia’s house because he had almost gotten expelled like fifteen times.

“I honestly just wanted to do something nice for you, you sounded like you needed it and… I know quarantine hasn’t been lifted once in Temeria since it all started.” Philippa wrote then that she would probably make for a decent actor without flashing her breasts to the audience every five minutes. She pursed her lips and replied in the mock post-it note to fuck off.

“I… I… Thank you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed- I’m sorry, darling.” Her pale cheeks flushed at the term of endearment that slipped her tongue and Tissaia bowed down her head, red-painted nails caressing the glass bottle almost reverently. “Say, why don’t you tell me what your email address is and I send you my mobile via chat? The explosions in the background aren’t that, uhm, comforting to listen to when I’d much rather be hearing your voice.” Should she have looked up she would have seen the smile that threatened to split Yennefer’s face. “Only if you want to, of course! I- what am I even saying? Never mi-”

“No! Wait!” She placated. Sabrina squeezed her shoulder as she went to retrieve her phone charger, offering her a genuine smile. “I’d love to.”

“Okay.” Said Tissaia, an awed sound leaving her throat when blue finally meet with lilac. Gods, she was drop-dead gorgeous. Rita could have whichever bottle, all the liquor she wanted from the school’s cellar for indirectly enabling this.

Was one week a proper enough courting period to then buy the engagement ring? Or should she just have Philippa get her the best, costliest one from that jewellery eshop they all liked through some minor fraud that would take her like half an hour at most, today? “Good.” Yennefer de Vries had such a nice ring to it.

[1-800-roflmao]

Wash Day Delight Pt. 2

Fandom: Undertale (Video Game)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Warnings Apply

Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Papyrus (Undertale) & Reader

Characters: Papyrus (Undertale), Reader, Original Characters, Original Female Character(s), Mentions of other AU Papyri and Sans

Additional Tags: Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), reader is poc, reader is mixed, Reader has curly hair, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Friendship, Wholesome, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, I’m Bad At Summaries, Not Beta Read

*Anyone else have that one curl that is your favorite?  Like you just can’t stop messing with it?  Also, promise the other skeletons will be joining in soon.  For now, enjoy some fluff. 

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As soon as she heard the bell above her door ring and the door settle closed with a click, she was rushing around her office tidying up and filing paperwork.  She knew Papyrus would not waste any time if he could help it.  She only hoped he took it easy on the little old woman.  She had a feeling Mrs. Ida was tougher than she looked, but considering this was only their first meeting, she couldn’t help thinking she looked as fragile as a porcelain doll.  “Please don’t break my client, Papi,” she pleaded, shutting and locking the last drawer on her desk for the day. 

Her business was still small so she didn’t have any need for filing cabinets just yet, but it had been picking up.  Most of her clients were elderly, which was to be expected when one dealt with wills, funerals, and burials.  She wished more young people thought of wills.  A properly notarised and established will could ease the mind, not only because it dictated what happens to your earthly possessions after death.  No, a will could make sure your body and memory is honored how you wished despite you no longer being there.  She had witnessed one too many funerals that were practically an insult; honestly, some it would have been less offensive to simply spit on the dead’s grave.  

Just as she felt her brows pinching, she huffed and closed her eyes as she took in a few calming breaths.  It does no one any good getting mad on her own.  A little snort escaped her at that thought.  Her getting “mad on her own” was the catalyst for her to start her own business.  “ANGER IS NOT INHERENTLY BAD.  IT IS JUST HOW YOU DIRECT IT!”  She made a mental note to thank a certain tall, pointy skeleton in her life for those words.  She sent a mental thank you to his therapist as well. 

 As her mind jumped from one subject to the next, her hands and feet had stayed moving.  By the time she zoned back in, she had finished tidying up and sanitizing the office.   “Bad habit there,” she muttered, tossing the soiled paper towel into the bin tucked underneath her desk.  A quick peek inside determined it wasn’t nearly full enough to toss and nothing in the bin would smell or pose a hazard.  It could go another day.  

Peeking at the clock as she locked the windows and pulled the curtains closed, she noted it had been only a couple minutes.  Papyrus wasn’t back yet, surprisingly.  She should be thankful as that means he didn’t rush and possibly her client wouldn’t be recovering from whiplash.  She swears that skeleton could give a cheetah a run for its money.  What’s terrifying is he is not even the fastest of the monsters she has met.  Monsters were something else.

A couple minutes later and she had finished all her closing tasks: office locked up, hall and waiting area swept and wiped down, the last of the windows curtained, and furniture and often touched places sanitized.  She’d even given the guest bathroom a quick clean up and gathered the dirty mugs and empty plate from the little refreshment corner she provided for clients waiting.  Slipping her phone from her pocket, she checked the time with a quick double tap.  Goodness, had Mrs. Ida parked that far down?  Maybe she didn’t like parallel parking on these streets and instead parked in one of the hidden lots just off teh main road?  Or had the two gotten lost?  

A bubble of anxious energy caught in her throat as her mind jumped to the possibility that they were in trouble.  She forced herself to take a breath and simply breathe.  No, this was a safer area.  She’d moved and chosen to place her business here for that reason.  It did little to comfort.  She was not ignorant to the fact that no matter how “safe” a place is, it is not completely immune to danger and the unfairness of life.  Plus, Papyrus was a monster.  And sadly, the portion of humanity that didn’t like change, didn’t like different, turned their prejudices to them or just broadened their spectrum of hate.  What was even sadder was that some people of color, people who should know better and know how it feels to be treated as subhuman, hopped on the bandwagon; they were just happy it wasn’t directed at them anymore.  

The pinch and strain in her forehead told her she needed to calm down.  She breathed in slowly, deeply, and held it, counting down from ten as she rolled her shoulders back and let them drop.  Once she hit zero, she let the air held in her lungs out in one long, even breath.  She could feel the tension melting off, the bubble gone, and overall she felt lighter.  Mal would be proud.  She almost missed the munchkin flicking her forehead any time he saw her frowning.   It reminded her of her mother telling her to “fix her face.”  

Moving on, she saw she had a few notifications, but none were messages from her friend.  She wished he sent something if it was going to take time for him to get back.  She peeked out the front door and squinted down the street, both ways, trying to locate the two.  She couldn’t see either, but she did see Papyrus’s red sports car parked just in front.  

The area she lived in was considered the downtown area.  It was mostly small businesses, shops, restaurants, a couple bars further over, and if you traveled just a few minutes further, you would hit the residential area. Well, the official residential area, anyway.  And in the opposite direction was the main center of Ebott.  Most business owners in downtown lived above their work space and some even rented out rooms.  Her little office was on the quieter of the two main streets that had mostly offices, a little cafe, and a couple shops.  This was Eighth Street.  If you wanted to party, go to Sixth Street.  That was where all the bars, clubs, taverns, and odd little gems were.  She enjoyed going to hunt down her favorite food vendor.

Stepping outside, she sighed as the cool night air kissed at her cheeks and the exposed skin of her arms, causing goosebumps to rise.  She was tempted to wait outside for him, but he expected her ready to go once he got back.  One more glance at the clock on her phone and she decided to wait for him inside.  He was an adult.  She needed to have faith he could take care of himself.  Plus, she had no clue which way they had gone and it would do no good to possibly wander in the wrong direction searching for them.  She muttered a quick little wish for their safety before turning around and going back inside.  

Like others on this street, she lived above her office space on the second floor.  It felt nice to know her mortgage payments went to owning both her home and place of business one day.  It also just felt good to have a space all to herself.  She loved her mother and siblings, but she had been ready to go.  Scooping up the dirty dishes on her way back to the little hallway, she balanced the tray in one hand and fished out her keys with the other.  She could thank those years of waitressing and retail for two things: multitasking skills and patience.  Keys secured, she found the right one, and unlocked the doorway to her haven.  She left the door unlocked and just slightly ajar to let Papyrus know where she was and to let himself in.

It was clever how the building was set up.  The ground floor had an office space, waiting area, guest bathroom, and small hallway connecting all three.  The extra door in the hallway just looked like it would lead to a broom closet.  It tickled her inner child each time she had to slide the false wall away and reveal the stairs that led up into her second story home.  Stepping up the first few steps, she slid the wall back into place, then flicked a switch to turn on the lights in the stairwell before she quickly ascended the rest of the stairs.  

On the landing, she tapped a foot on a nearby standing lamp and it filled the living room with gentle, warm light.  She prefered using lamps over built in lighting.  Most lighting in apartments were bright white and blue toned, while she had grown up with warmer, off white bulbs.  She also was simply used to a dimmer environment back in her mother’s house.  They didn’t keep lights running all day long.  Only time the lights were on was at night for a bit and if you needed to look for something.  She liked to consider her home cozy and welcoming despite the low lighting.

This space was enough.   It felt bigger than it was since it was just her living here.  It was hers, and it felt amazing every time she walked around her home how she wished, cooked what she wanted to eat, placed things where she wanted, and one day, she’d maybe get a pet.  Removing her shoes at the landing, she slipped on a pair of slippers and padded across the vinyl flooring.  While it was nice not having an inch of permanent carpet in her home, she had learned these sorts of floors could be chilly and it was a habit not worth breaking to wear house slippers or slides inside.  

She beelined for her bedroom after dropping off the dishes in the sink to take care of later and tossing her mask into the trashcan.  Now, she needed to get changed and do something about this hair.  The “previous arrangements” Papyrus had spoken of was their weekly workout session.  Usually, he would pop in after she had closed up and the two of them would take a jog or walk around the block, then hit the local gym.  Her hair being down during a workout was just asking for frizz, tangles, and possibly it getting in the equipment at the gym.  Plus, it was just hot as hell to keep it down while moving that much.  

While she just wanted to toss off her clothes and bra without a care and face plant on her bed, maybe veg out on the couch, she knew she couldn’t cancel on Papyrus.  Her drip for today was a four piece pantsuit gifted to her by Black and Edge for her birthday not long ago.  Something about her needing to look powerful as a business woman and “none of her current attire was up to their standards.”  The two had amazing taste though, so she couldn’t get too mad at them dissing her wardrobe.  The blouse was made from a soft fabric in her favorite color.  A black corset style vest with an honestly beautiful work of art of the back comprised of hand stitched embroidery and silk fabric, with matching silk lacing.  The pants were custom fit--how they knew her measurements was still a mystery, but she suspected Wine had something to with it-- and also black.  The long trenchcoat that matched with it that she hadn’t worn today was made of a heavy fabric in her favorite color with that same patterned silk lining the inside.  It was hanging in her closet.  She carefully removed the peices she wore before laying them on her bed neatly to avoid unnecessary wrinkles.  She was pretty sure this suit was the most expensive thing in her home.     

Digging through drawers, she picked out a pair of athletic tights, a sports bra, and a  t-shirt the pun lovers of the skeleton family had given her.  While it didn’t have a pun on it, it made for a lot of fun interaction when she wore it.  Across the chest was written “Bet you Can’t Read the Back of This Shirt” and on the back “Bet You Can’t Read the Front of This Shirt.”   The amount of people who try to slyly look at the other side after reading one then slinking away after realized they had been tricked was always amusing.  

It took less than a second for her to unclasp her current bra and throw it into her hamper.  It took a bit more time to slip on and clasp her sports bra.  She took a moment to debate using the the j-hook before deciding it couldn’t hurt to have a little more stability.  She froze as she heard movement in her house, something sliding, and then footsteps.  She only began moving again after hearing Papyrus annouce his presence.  She practically ripped her tights up her legs as she was very aware of the sound of his now bare feet clicking across her living room and getting closer.  Her shirt was tugged over her head and arms slid through her shirt sleeves just as he poked his skull through her bedroom door, which she had apparently left open in her haste.  Whoops.  

Once Papyrus was sure he wouldn’t look like a nightlight bobbing along on his way back to his friend’s home, he finally left the cover of the bus stop and back onto the sidewalk.  His mind was running over everything that had happened that evening.  He wondered what possibly led the elderly human to assume he and his friend would be… canoodling, canoodling was a word he could handle to describe what she was hinting at.  He preferred his magic to stay put right now.  An exasperated sigh fell from his parted teeth as he considered the possibility that he was just overthinking and overanalyzing.  The elderly human was probably just pulling a dirty jape on him.  The next time they met, he would have to return the favor.  Of course with a more classy, sophisticated jape, but a jape none the less.

“Papi!” she greeted with a little wave, blowing at her now mussed up hair from rushing to get dressed.  She eventually had to push it out her face as it simply kept falling back.  She was sure she looked a right mess at the moment.  

∆∆∆

His sockets took in just how dark it was getting.  How long had he been out?  Did it really take that long to pretty much jog to the bus stop?  Or had he taken that long to recover?  A glance at the sky revealed the stars were in full view now, but the moon was still low.  He focused on his hearing, but didn’t hear the usual ruckus from Sixth Street; so, it couldn’t have taken too long.  

“NO SENSE IN WASTING ANYMORE TIME STANDING HERE!” he declared with a little stomp of his foot.  “AND NOW I HAVE NOTHING HOLDING ME BACK!!” he practically cackled as he launched into a sprint, tearing down the sidewalk.  She had better be prepared, especially considering all the extra time she had been given unintentionally.  He refused to fail in his duties as her best and greatest friend.  One such duty was pushing and supporting her goals.  He had been ecstatic when she had told him she wanted his help with improving her health and getting in shape that first time.  Not only had she come to HIM out of everyone, but now he could hang out with her even more.  

Papyrus didn’t stop running until he had to hit the brakes infront of her front door.  He noted that the lights had been turned off downstairs, but he could see warm light filtering through the second story window.  Making his way inside, he closed and locked the front door, sliding the bolt at the top of door to secure it.  There was two ways in and out of her home, this front door and the “back door.”  The back door actually led to a side patio that wrapped around back to connect to a second staircase outside.  He locked the doorway in the hall as well before practically bounding up the stairwell. 

He made sure to call out your name once he reached the landing, “READY OR NOT, I HAVE RETURNED!!!” he added with his best impression of Edge’s cackle for humor.  As he removed his shoes and set them on the rack against the wall, he could hear shuffling and little thumps from across the small, cozy home.  His toes lightly clicked against the floor as he made his way to her room.  As he got closer, he could hear the shuffling get more urgent and a little curse here and there.  

“HUMAN, ARE YOU ALRIGHT IN HERE?” he didn’t know what he had expected when he peeked into her room, but his teeth clicked shut audibly as he tried to stifle a snort and keep himself from grinning.  The human had apparrently been hurrying to finish dressing and had just pulled her shirt down.  He had peeked in just as her head finally popped through her collar, or rather all he could see was an adorable fluffball.  Her curls which had been relatively neat and orderly before was now... well, everywhere.  He could see her lips which were now pouting after a failed attampt at blowing her hair out of her face.  Her nose crinkling cutely in aggravation as she brings a hand up to shove the errant curls back.  

His sockets focused on her fingers which had been all but swallowed up by her hair.  The digits sinking in and he couldn’t help wondering how it would feel to tangle his own digits into her tresses.  Was it as soft as it looked?  Or would it be coarse?  It wasn’t his first time wondering such things.  She had a habit of playing with this one particular curl at her nape.  He would often catch her twisting, pulling, and twirling that one lock of hair endlessly.  That one curl now sticks out cutely anytime she wears her hair down and his phalanges itch to play with it like she does anytime he sees it.  

“Papi?” 

The skeleton jolted as he refocused on the present as her voice, so much closer than before, and a fleshy palm passing his vision.  He blinked as her face came into view, looking up at him with a warm flush to her face.  Well, what of her face he could see as she had released her hair and some had fallen back in her face again.  

“I know my hair’s a mess right now, but I didn’t think it was so bad to leave you speechless,” she muttered, looking away as her hand came up to play with THAT curl again.  He tore his sockets from her fingers deftly twisting the curl and brought a hand to catch hers, moving it away.  She released the curl with little resistance, but still refused to look at him.  That little curl snapped back and while he wished he could appreciate and marvel at how it did that, he had a friend to comfort.  

“WHILE YOUR HAIR, YES, IS A MESS RIGHT NOW,” he held back a wince as her shoulders hunched a bit, “I DON’T THINK THAT’S A BAD THING!” he added with a bright smile.  He could see her chancing a peek up at him from the corner of her eye.  If she didn’t like people touching her face suddenly, he would have simply turned her head himself.   Good- NO, GREAT friends respect boundaries.  “IN FACT, I THINK IT’S VERY… OH, WHAT IS IT YOU HUMAN’S SAY?” he paused, pretending to think for a moment before snapping his phalanges, “CHIC!!!  NO, FIERCE!!  YES, I LIKE THAT ONE MUCH BETTER!”  Was his volume control out the window at this point?  Yes.  Did he care? No.  Because now she was looking at him fully, head tilted back and forcing curls to fall away.  Her flush seemed to have worsened though.  

Papyrus watched her as she took a minute to suck in a deep breath and exhale, closing her eyes briefly.  The shock had apparently worn off as she now looked up at him bashfully from under her lashes.  “Papi, has anyone told you you’re too much sometimes?” she asked with a little shake of her head as she seemed to be fighting back a smile.

Leave it to Papyrus to bring her mood back up in mere moments and hype her up to a point she might consider leaving the house like this.  If only her hair didn’t pose a safety hazard at the gym and didn’t trap heat like a lion’s mane in the savanna.  “Thanks, Papi,” she wiped a tear that had gathered in her eyes and took another moment to calm down and catch her breath.  

He knew it was probably one of those questions that humans didn’t expect answers to, but he just grinned wider and answered anyway.  “NOPE!  AFTERALL, THE KEY TO POPULARITY IS LEAVING THEM WANTING MORE! NYEH HEHEH!!”  And now his evening was even better as her laughter rang in his skull and she was smiling again, genuine and joyful.  

∆∆∆

“ANYTIME FOR MY FAVORITE FLUFFY HUMAN!” her skeleton friend boasted.  She just quirked a brow at the affectionate descriptor.  She couldn’t say anything about it though, since half the skeleton household had nicknamed her as such.  She couldn’t even argue that it didn’t fit.  It was better than “Curly” atleast, or the various food and drink related nicknames Sugar and Oak had tried on her.  

Sighing, she loosed her hand from her friend’s grip and stepped back.  “Come on, let’s get out of the door.  Can’t be good for your back and neck,” she ushered him in with a gentle tug to his hand.  He stepped inside with little urging and almost immediately he was rolling his shoulders and stretching.  He must not have realized how long they had been in the doorway.  Thankfully, her home had higher ceilings than normal, but sadly the doorways were still made for average sized humans so anytime the Papyri or Oak visited, they had to duck through the doorways.  She was saving up for renovations for atleast the first floor to be more monster accommodating one day.  

Letting go of his hand, she padded across her room and into her private bath.  While her bathroom wasn’t extravagant, it atleast was nicer and bigger than any bathroom she had used before now.  Correction, it was the nicest before she visited the skeletons’ house.  She could have lived in that tub.  The water pressure in the shower had been amazing as well.  Stepping up to the sink and vanity, her eyes scanned the counter top for a particular item.  “There you are,” she mumbled as she picked up the spray bottle.  It was filled with water and detangler, just the miracle she needed to help her tame this mane and hopefully get it pulled back into atleast a ponytail.  Maybe she should go with a pineapple puff?  No, too many loose ends to get caught on equipment.  A bun then?  Or a braid?  After checking how easy her hair would cooperate, she settled on two thick french plaits.

She hadn’t even gotten to pull the trigger once before she heard Papyrus in the doorway as he ducked through and stared at her with curious empty sockets.  Even without eyelights, she could feel where his focus was.  It was on her hand poised with a spray bottle aimed at her hair.  Rather than saying anything or asking what he wanted, she pulled the trigger and started the process of dampening her hair.  It wasn’t until her curls started to get weighed down with moisture that Papyrus finally spoke up.  

“HUMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”  Her gaze locked with his visage in the mirror as he had moved closer.  His gaze wasn’t on the spray bottle anymore and rather on the top of her head.  What was so interesting that he had to move closer?  While this bathroom was on the bigger side, it wasn’t quite big enough to not feel cramped with a towering skeleton monster sharing the space as well.

“Taming this hair down,” she stated simply and she could see his teeth part to ask another question, most likely “why” she was doing this after his encouragement.  “Papi, you do remember where we’re going tonight right?” She didn’t continue speaking until he nodded, “Sorry to tell you, but this FIERCE hair is a little too much for the gym.  It gets caught on a shit around here, rather not think of what it could get caught on at a place with heavy weights, equipment, and the occasional fool who can’t keep his or her or their hands to themselves.”  She’d started off wanting to play it off lightly with a joke, but some frustration had leaked into her voice as she remembered there were still people who didn’t understand you couldn’t treat others like a petting zoo. 

It’s not like touching her hair is completely off limits.  Just ask first, most times she’s fine with it so long as they don’t over do it.  Plus, she worked to hard to ensure the health and texture of her hair for it go unappeciated by not only herself, but those close to her.  Strangely, none of her skeleton friends, except one, had recently tried or asked to touch it.  Only one had tried and she had gotten on him about consent.  That had been Cash, back when they had first met, but now he was pest about it and she had taken to telling him no just to spite him.

Papyrus had originally ducked into the bathroom to ask if he could get himself a glass of water while he waited, but had been struck with curiosity as he saw his human friend aiming a spray bottle at her head, more specifically her hair.  It was similar to the spray bottle they had used to discipline the cats back home at one point.  He was aware that humans had various products--thousands he had discovered--for their hair.  Especially the women of the species, but the men weren’t exempt either.  It had been overwhelming the first time he had stepped into a store on the surface.  They just had an overwhelming amount of choices for pretty much everything.                   

Zoning back in, she noticed Papyrus’s teeth had just closed, “Sorry, did you say something? Fraid I missed it,” she piped up apologetically as she started wetting her hair again.  Maybe it would have been easier to just duck her head under the shower at this point.  “Papi?” she called as he didn’t answer, peeking up at him again in mirror, but he ssemed to be lost in his thoughts again.  Sighing, she left him to it and picked up a wide tooth comb and began working out knots gently as she could.   

∆∆∆

  He wandered closer for a better look as she began spritzing her hair.  He could smell that the bottle didn’t just contain water.  It didn’t smell bad though.  No, it smelled warm and comforting, just like her.  His sockets locked onto how the water seemed to bead and run down her hair, reminding him of how water would just roll off a duck’s back.  Some of the beads got caught on the kinks and turns her hair would make, but her fingers helped to gently coax the water to absorb until her hair started to lay down with the excess moisture. He’d asked what she was doing, but much to his shame, he was hardly focusing on her answer. 

   He nodded to her question.  Of course he knew where they were going, but wasn’t quite understanding why the place mattered?  Then again, now that he thinks about it, he had never seen her wear her hair down when they went to the gym or on runs.  He’d simply assumed it was her preferred look for those moments and he enjoyed seeing all the different updos she could manipulate her hair into.  He wasn’t afraid to admit he didn’t want her to “tame” her hair as she had put it right now.  

He more heard her explanation, rather than actively listening, but understood what she saying.  It made sense.  It was practical reasoning.  He kept quiet as the last bit registered with him and held in a dejected sigh.  He had hoped Cash was pulling everyone’s legs about her not liking others touching her hair.  His alternate was almost also pulling pranks and getting lectured for it.  “Of All Things For Cash to Be Serious About…” he muttered, not caring if he was pouting.  

He let himself get lost in the practiced movements of her hands.  She hadn’t shooed him away so he guessed he was permitted to stay and watch.  He took note of how she worked a comb through her hair, the teeth were wider than the gag comb Sans carried in his hoodie pocket and she gently worked out knots starting at the ends and moving up.  Once she deemed her hair knot free, she had grabbed an even funnier looking comb.  This one had thinly spaced teeth, but had a long piece extending from the relatively small comb part.  She used the long tapered part to part her hair down the middle then in what seemed effortless, she twisted one side of her hair and stuck the long bit through it like a hair pin.  To his surprise, it stayed in place and didn’t unravel. Was she going to do this to the other side as well?  Combs were an odd accessory, but he wasn't judging.

His head tilted as it almost looked like she getting her fingers tangled, but he finally figured out what she doing once she started moving.  He watched in muted amazement as she braided with practiced ease, fingers gathering new hair to work in as she moved from her temple to her nape.  The braid was chunky and laid neatly against her scalp, while the rest rested against her shoulder and neck as she finished it.  She plucked the comb from her hair and ran the teeth through the end of the braid before twisting.  The end result was a neat curl at the end that worked like magic to him keep the entire thing from unraveling.  His jaw had dropped open without him noticing, only clacking closed as heard her giggle.  Her fingers were already braiding the other side as she smiled teasingly up at him in the mirror.  

Cheekbones flushing pink with magic for the second time that evening, Papyrus was thankful there were no windows in this room as he was sure his friend would not appreciate him throwing himself through it to get away from his embarrassment.  “IT’S RUDE TO STARE,” he griped, only flushing more as she smiled more.  “NO, STOP THAT. CEASE!” he commanded, straightening up with a flustered glare as she was practically grinning up at him now.

“Stop what, hmm?” Oh no.  “And what do you mean it’s rude to stare?  Weren’t you staring at me this for the past… ooooh, couple minutes?” Damn it.  

Papyrus had nothing to say in defense, but a mess of words poured from his jaws and stars, maybe he should try throwing himself through that wall there.  It couldn’t be that thick.  He was sure he was practically glowing by now and he should just respond with his normal snark, but his usually brilliant mind was failing him at the moment.  Once again he found himself muffling an embarrassed screech in his palms as a human woman laughed.  Atleast this time, said woman was trying to comfort him and bring him back down to earth with familiar warmth and comfort that was all her.  

[usuccc]

Please talk more about that au, villain Alfred is a guilty pleasure 🙏🏻

*sweats* You and me both! Oh man, where to begin. First of all, thanks for the interest! It means a lot. I can’t be concise, so I’m gonna put this under a huge ‘Keep Reading’ for whoever is interested. Like for real there is a whole ass essay below that cut. I left some stuff out cause it’s already a ridiculous length, but I got the gist of it.

Leave it to me to take a silly gag au and go completely off the rails with it. It’s honestly hilarious gg me.

This au takes place in some fake big city with dark synthwave-y aesthetics where the skies are constantly gray in the daytime from smog and pollution. Over the last ~20-30 years, Jones Enterprises has risen up as the most influential and powerful company in the United States, with their headquarters in (fake big city’s name). They have hands in many industries, spanning the manufacturing, retail, and technology spheres. Over the past 5 years, especially, they’ve seen massive, nearly unbelievable growth, and unfortunate events or sell-outs have conveniently fallen upon their competitors, allowing them to create monopolies in several industries. They also have the government in an iron grip and no one is willing to stand up to them for fear of the consequences. Most people mysteriously feel compelled not to confront them anyway, especially those who live closest to their headquarters.

Francis was an employee for Jones Enterprises’ main headquarters. He saw how overworked and underpaid his colleagues were. Bogged down by overwork in his first year, he eventually tried to get away with slacking as much as he could. After witnessing one of his close coworkers have a heart attack and almost die from the stress of working there, he changed gears and started speaking out on behalf of his colleagues. Some of his motivation came from feeling partially responsible for what happened, and he wanted to evoke positive change across the company instead. He tried time and time again to organize strikes after his attempts to organize a union were completely shattered. The turnout was very little in the beginning, and soon fizzled out to just him. He stubbornly pressed forward on his own anyway and was fired for it. Finding other work turned out to be impossible, his firing acting as an unemployment death sentence. It was not uncommon for employees fired from Jones Enterprises to be shunned from ever finding a decent job again, and Francis’s situation was even worse given the bad publicity he received from his strike attempts.

Ready to resort to desperate measures, Francis started seriously considering moving back in with his parents in France and figuring out a new plan. Jones Enterprises had gained significant influence in Europe too, so there wasn’t a guarantee he wouldn’t experience similar problems there.

Before he could buy a plane ticket, he was visited by Kiku Honda, a stranger with an unassuming appearance. Long story short, Kiku had come to the US with the alias as a simple tourist. His family was presently responsible for safekeeping a secret and powerful magical artifact with mysterious origins. 

The artifact was one of two powerful stones, both of which were in existence since the beginning of mankind. These stones were antitheses of each other, representing and contributing to major moral conflicts throughout history. They were both drawn to chosen human hosts who were destined to face each other. The pink stone, which Kiku was in possession of, gained and gave magical power through love, equality, and hope/healing. It formed a positive, nurturing, non-invasive connection with its host, and gave them the power to protect and inspire hope in others. The other (purple) stone gained and gave magical power through greed, subjugation, and fear. It gave great wrath and influence to its host, whose powers would grow exponentially over time as the two stayed connected. This stone would physically embed itself in its host’s heart, eating away at their mind slowly to bring out the absolute worst in them and shave away at their morals and inhibitions, until they were nothing but a heartless monster. Tendrils would spread out from the stone throughout the host’s body, growing in size and number the longer they were connected.

Kiku had long suspected that the unnatural growth of Jones Enterprises was connected to the purple stone. He had gradually implanted connections in Jones Enterprises and had been monitoring the situation for clues of a potential host. The senior leadership of the company was very hard to crack, however, and the CEO had significantly limited his public appearances in recent years, but Kiku would not let it rest. Any of the higher ups in the company could be a candidate for suspicion. While investigating, he heard of and even saw some of Francis’s brazen attempts to challenge the seemingly invincible company. He was impressed with Francis’s ability to stand up to an insurmountable foe, especially given the influence of the mysterious compelling force that kept most others in the city silent. He wanted to get information from Francis about his experience at Jones Enterprises and to offer him an opportunity to rebuild his life for his bravery. The stone, which Kiku always kept on his person, ended up choosing and bonding with Francis to both of their surprise, and boom Magical Strike was born.

-----

Now onto Alfred and Arthur. Alfred is the son of the founder and CEO of Jones Enterprises and his ex-wife. His parents divorced when he was still a baby, and his father did not remarry. Alfred’s mom remarried right away and had another son, Matthew. 

In his home life, Alfred often felt neglected and overlooked compared to Matthew, whom his mom and stepdad preferred and doted on. His birth father ignored him in favor of growing his company as well. This caused Alfred to act out at school and extracurricular activities, always overshadowing Matthew whenever possible and rubbing it in his face. He often got in trouble at home later for it. When Alfred got a little older, he frequently snuck out after these fights and went somewhere to be alone. One night, he walked down to the neighborhood park and saw another boy alone by the swings where he usually liked to go to mope. This boy was a few years older than him and muttering angrily to himself. Feeling a sort of weird camaraderie for this other pissed off dude, coupled with the fact he’d never seen him before and was curious, Alfred took the plunge and went over to talk to him. Alfred and Arthur’s first meeting was a little rocky, but the two quickly found themselves warming up to each other. Many coincidences found them meeting in the same park after a bad day, and the two eventually bonded and made a thing of it. Alfred found that with Arthur he could open up and be more authentic than he let himself be with his other friends.

By the time he hit high school, Alfred emotionally detached himself from his mom/stepdad, and tried to be a little nicer to Matthew, although their relationship was never close. He and Arthur still met often outside of school, and Alfred tried to reach out to him at school too, but Arthur limited those interactions due to his unfavorable status as an irritable loner. Alfred continued to seek out other people’s attention, forming a ton of superficial friendships with his classmates. He became obsessed with being number one at everything he did and getting everyone to like him to patch up his residual feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, and also to hopefully impress Arthur, whom he secretly had a crush on. Excelling in his sports clubs, and even skipping a grade in his academics, Alfred felt like things would be okay if they kept going the way they were.

Then Arthur abruptly confided halfway into Alfred’s freshman year that he was moving back to England that year after he graduated for family reasons. Alfred didn’t take the news well, and when the time came for Arthur to leave, it hit Alfred hard. They promised they’d keep in touch via phone and online, but that did little to comfort him and his other shallow friendships often made him feel worse. The feelings of loneliness and inadequacy returned tenfold. It was around this time that Alfred was contacted for the first time by his birth father in years, asking to meet and catch up. Alfred readily accepted, not taking a moment to think it through in his low emotional state.

Alfred’s dad was getting into some weird shit since the divorce. He’d been putting obsessive efforts into expanding his company, making strategic partnerships, attending all kinds of rich, bougie events for networking purposes, and exploiting his workers to maximize profits. Despite his efforts, his returns were decreasing and the existence of some key new competitors put him in a tough spot for future growth. When conventional methods didn’t appear to be making any progress, Alfred’s father started hanging around some wealthy, sketchy social circles. It’s through a series of events with these groups that he learned of and obtained the purple stone. After seeing it reject and devour an unfit host before his eyes, he decided he was in desperate need of its supposed power, but he couldn’t risk using it on himself in the case he was judged to be unfit. He had to use it on someone inconsequential if things went wrong, but at the same time malleable, so he could ensure they used the power to further his goals. 

Alfred’s dad put on an act when Alfred arrived, making it seem like he wanted to bring Alfred back into his life, raise him up like he should have been doing all those years. Alfred soaked it up like a sponge, and his dad appeared to follow through on his promises, engaging with him and frequently making secret visits so they could spend quality time together. After a whole year of building Alfred’s trust, his dad was able to convince him to put the stone to his heart, assuring him that only he could do it and he trusted Alfred to make their company and the lives of so many people who depended on it great. The stone embedded itself in Alfred’s chest, causing him to pass out from the pain. When he woke up, still in one piece, his dad was able to calm him down and convince him to keep it a secret, even from the people he was closest to.

-----

Some other tidbits of info:

Arthur and Alfred did keep up communication after he left for England, and he considers Alfred his closest friend. Life got in the way plenty of times, though, and they couldn’t always keep up the most consistent communication. Still, they did what they could and were able to meet in person a few times even. Arthur obtained a degree in England and worked his first job there. But after that, he moved back to the states and got a job at Jones Enterprises, thrilled to surprise Alfred about it. They have a heartwarming reunion. Alfred, himself, graduated high school early, got accepted into an Ivy League college on a scholarship, received his degree in finance and business management due to his piece of shit dad’s wishes, and was being directed by his dad to start using his powers of influence on their competitors. At first, he justified to himself that the outcome would be good and that the competitors he was going after were bad people—which some of them definitely were—but over time, he found himself doing things he never would have before (to unhappy employees for example), caring less and less about the people that were impacted.

-----

So yeah, the main events take place about 10 years after Alfred becomes the host for the purple stone, having plenty of time to grow his power and lose himself to the stone’s influence in secret. When Francis makes his debut as Magical Strike, Alfred starts infusing some of Jones Enterprise’s key weapons tech with his magic and sending people after Francis, who is still learning his abilities. Then, in the latter half of this arc, Arthur becomes the main antagonist against Francis, having just scratched the surface of what’s really going on with Alfred and thinking (in denial) this will somehow help him. At the beginning of the second arc, there would be growing tension between Alfred and Arthur when Arthur can’t explain or keep excusing Alfred’s actions anymore. Alfred would lose control and almost hurt Arthur, whom he had taken the most care to hide his darker side from, which would cause Arthur to join forces with Francis, desperate to find a way to get the purple stone out of Alfred and save him somehow. Alfred mcfuckin loses it when he finds out.

[mermaidcashton]

if i knew you were comin’

author: claire (@mermaidcashton) ship/AU: ashton irwin/reader, baker AU  prompt: “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.”  wordcount: 3344 warnings: swearing a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ‘s 5sos fic writers collab (in which we all chose from a list of AU’s and had the above prompt quote to include - check out the masterlist linked to see everyone elses!) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘if i knew you were comin' i'd've baked a cake’ by eileen barton  if i knew you were comin’ ***

It would have been a real cliché had it been pouring with rain, the first time you saw him. If an unexpected thunderstorm in June had sent you into the little hipster bakery by necessity, a beacon of shelter in the form of a black & white sign that said ‘Dagger & Snake Bakehouse’. As it was, you were simply hungry in the rich sunshine, miles from home, and a sucker for bagels. That wasn’t very rom-com, really. 

The cliché came in when you saw him for the first time; laugh bright on his face, flour in his pillar box red hair. You felt every love-at-first-sight trope possible in that moment; brass band playing, lightning striking, arrows piercing. 

But it was raining now - slowly but with determination from the grey September sky - and you felt it, still.

***

The old fashioned bell above the heavy door rang out as you pushed your way into the bakery, immediately feeling enveloped in warmth. You shook off the excess water pooling on your umbrella out of the open door before you let it close as gently as possible behind you, spinning back around to assess the scene before you.

The shop was an assault on the senses every time you visited; the smell of 50 different baked goods intermingling and somehow achieving a harmony in your nose, the sound of the eclectic playlist they kept adding to filling the shop, and the assault on the eyes came in the form of bright hanging lights, extensive art on the walls, and the staff themselves.  

“Hello, you! Get in here; it’s horrible out there!”

You smiled widely, genuinely, at the greeting. “Hey, Calum! How are you?” You replied, stepping up to the counter. Calum ran his hand over his very short blonde hair with a smile that you were sure accounted for at least 25% of their sales. Not that you’d know; only one of the co-owners kept you spending more than you could really afford on focaccia bread, and he was nowhere to be seen.

“Can’t complain, real-well, actually, I can,” Calum changed his mind mid-sentence, face growing indignant. “Ash went to drop the banking off at Natwest 30 minutes ago, and Luke was due 5 minutes before you walked in, and I’m dying for a piss, and I-” The bell above the door shook like a hurricane had just come through the door, and in the form of a 6’2” blonde streak of limbs, it kind of had. “Sorry, sorry, I’m he-woah!” Luke skidded across the shiny white floor on his damp black Converse, windmilling his long arms until he caught one of only three tables in the place, and brought himself to a jolting stop. 

Calum rolled his eyes. “This fucken’ guy.” He muttered, but you could see the fondness painted all over his golden brown face. “Luke, I need to pee; look after our best customer for me!” Calum bolted out from behind the counter, showing off his black tank top and pinstriped trousers as he pulled his black branded apron off on his way to the door marked ‘STAFF ONLY’ across the shop. You could hear his Doc Martens squeaking on the tiles as he disappeared through the door and Luke took his place behind the counter, chucking his backpack through the archway that attached the shop to the bakery’s kitchen.  “Ooh, Ashton won’t like finding your backpack in his kitchen when he gets back!” You tease, leaning onto the ledge that separates you from Luke. The absent baker was very particular about his immaculate commercial kitchen and everything in it, and you knew something would definitely be said about the fact that Luke’s wet backpack was now lying on the floor by the ovens. Calum had once told you about a time he had simply moved Ashton’s sourdough starter across the kitchen, and the incident that had followed (and lasted for three days). “Ooh, won’t he!” Luke cooed, tying his own D&S Bakehouse apron with a messy bow on his stomach. “You’d know, being our resident Ashton expert and all.” You felt the flush begin to bloom on your cheeks before you saw it reflected in Luke’s stupid stainless steel coffee machine. You stuck your chin out as defiantly as possible. “I don’t know what that means, and I also don’t care. I’d like a Flat White, please, barista!”  Luke clutched his chest with a large hand, gasping dramatically. “So harsh! My own job title! You missed ‘Retail Assistant’ and ‘Shop Hunk’, but I’ll forgive you because I know you’re having Ashton withdrawals right now. Haven’t seen you since last week, kiddo!” Opting to ignore his needling about the Ashton situation, you set your own backpack on the floor as you let out a sigh. “Yeah, it’s been a bit chaotic this week. But I said I’d try and come by today, and I can’t live without Calum’s doughnuts much longer, so here I am.” “Yeah, that’s definitely what you can’t live without.” Luke snorted, filling the portafilter with coffee grounds. The staff door swung open before you could respond, Calum sailing back into the bakery. “Does he come with an off switch?” You groaned, shaking your head at the bottle blonde as he laughed and groaned with you. “God, if he did, I’d use it so often he’d never be ‘on’.” “You love me, they love me, everybody loves me!” Luke sang at volume as the coffee machine began to grind and whir. Calum rolled his eyes as he shut the door to the counter. “The girls from the high school down the street love you, I’ll give you that, but that’s about it.”   “The boys, too.” Luke wiggled his eyebrows at you ridiculously, tapping the used coffee grounds into the bin with a flourish. You couldn’t help but giggle; you’d grown so fond of Luke and Calum in the three months you’d been visiting the bakery that you considered them friends. And as you started examining the case in front of you, filled with the most delicious looking cakes, pastries and doughnuts you’d ever seen, you thought that surely friends with access to coffee and baked goods were the best friends to have. “What are you thinking, love?” Calum asked, watching your eyes flick between peanut butter brownies and cinnamon rolls.  “I don’t know; everything always looks so good!” You whined. “I think I’m definitely in the mood for something sweet, though.” “I’m right here, baby!” Luke trilled as he placed a steaming cup on the counter, looking very pleased with himself. “Do I need to tell Michael about this flirty behaviour, Luke?” Calum teased. Luke shrugged, completely nonplussed. “If you want. He’s so hot when he gets jealous.” Calum rolled his eyes again as he made his way into the kitchen. “Luke, move your backpack before Ash gets back unless you want to get bollocked!” He called over his shoulder. “Uh oh, too late.” Luke groaned, looking past you through the glass of the shop front, moments before the shop bell sounded out for a third time. You would definitely play it cool and not turn around if it was anyone but Ashton; you swear, this man is actually magnetic. The Hall & Oates’ song coming from the speakers seems to slow down as he comes into your line of sight, like in every movie you’ve ever seen with a leading man half as gorgeous as this one. Ashton was wearing his signature black boots and ripped jeans, with a white tank top and the leather jacket that you were sure would smell just like him; flour, grapefruit, sandalwood and whatever he used to put his hair into any of the styles that drove you so crazy. Today he had that one styled curl falling onto his face, and right now it was soaked and sending a trail of water down to drop from his chiseled jaw.  “You took your time, bread boy.” Calum called from the kitchen, doing Luke a solid of hiding his backpack underneath the furthermost kitchen counter as he did. Ashton huffed out half a laugh, running both hands through his wet hair and bending forward to shake it off as much as he could. “I don’t even only bake bread! Why do you insist on calling me that? Especially in front of my favourite customer.”  Despite knowing that you were currently the only customer in the bakery, your brain immediately began questioning whether or not he was referring to you. Then, he straightened up with his arms high, hands slicking his red hair back, and looked straight at you with unwavering eye contact. “Hey.”  That one word, combined with those eyes and him looking like he was in 2020’s answer to a Whitesnake video dragged your heart straight into your throat.  “Hey.” You echoed, hoping you were imagining the slightly breathless quality to your voice. Ashton’s serious-supermodel face broke into his brightest smile - seemingly just for you - before he began to stride past you to head behind the counter, shrugging his wet jacket off as he went. “I see you’re sorted with a drink; what have you chosen to eat? Or is this a flying visit?” “I was just doing my usual, actually.” You replied, dragging your eyes away from the tattoos on his arms to glance back down at the many glass cases of treats. “Struggling to decide?” Ashton teased lightly, tying his apron strings into a bow at his waist. You giggled, feeling inordinately pleased that he knew exactly what you meant. “Well, my lattices should be cool by now. Cal?” Ashton called into the kitchen, where the sound of stand mixers could now be heard. You hadn’t even noticed Calum leaving the shop to bake in the back. As you realised Luke was also nowhere to be seen, the assistants’ head appeared from the side of the archway. “Calum says he is a very busy man and he thought you had things under control out here.” You frowned slightly, not understanding the inflection the blonde had put on ‘under control’. Must be a private joke; one that made Ashton steadily flush down his neck. “Shut up, Luke! I just want the top tray on the cooling rack by the main pantry, please.” Luke tapped his head with two fingers in an ‘aye aye, Captain’ gesture and momentarily vanished from view. Ashton cleared his throat, directing his words back to you. “I thought you said you were going to try and come by today. I made Cherry & Custard Lattices earlier; you love cherry, right?” You didn’t know what to say, so opted to just stare back at Ashton in surprise until you saw doubt in his eyes. “Yes! I did, say that, and I do - love cherry. You remembered that?” The smile on your face felt like it was spread impossibly wide, over your cheeks and beyond.  “Of course! I’m glad you’re here, actually…” “Here you go!” Luke said, sounding almost gleeful as he put the tray of pastries on the worktop behind Ashton. Normally, you would expect Luke to arrange them in a space in one of the cabinets and carefully handwrite a little sign for them, but not today, apparently. He was already taking strides back to the kitchen to help Calum, throwing you both a look over his shoulder that was definitely cheeky. “Go get ‘em, tiger!” Ashton went so unbelievably red that it made his flush from before look like his natural skin tone. For lack of something to do with yourself in a confusing, slightly awkward situation that you didn’t fully understand, you picked up the coffee Luke had made for you and took a small sip. Ashton took a breath and seemed to steel himself for something. “I’ve got something to ask you.” He cocked his head slightly to one side before taking a slightly wistful tone. “Do you remember the day we met?” *** You looked up at the stark sign above the world’s most appetising window display. ‘Dagger & Snake Bakehouse’. It was a little after your usual lunchtime and you were starving. You’d never been to this place before, but you could see slices of puff pastry topped with everything you could imagine; asparagus, pesto, goats cheese, tomatoes, bacon, mushrooms - all topped with melted cheese, so that was that. You made your way through the glossy black door into the bakery, and were struck by how cool it looked inside. The main walls were exposed brick painted white, covered with a broad range of paintings, posters, sketches, photographs and signs. Black boards covered in white chalk writing detailing baked goods and hot drinks, opening hours and little doodles. Shelves with all manner of trinkets and decorations adorned any parts of the walls that there wasn’t something else. Sleek white tiles covered the floor, counters and the walls leading off to the restrooms and a door marked ‘STAFF ONLY’. There were ferns and succulents dotted around the place, and recycled glass bottles on a few black cafe tables with a single red rose in each. There were cases and displays of every kind of baked good you could imagine at the counter, running along the windows, and high above the worktops behind the counter. Stevie Wonder segued into Fleetwood Mac over the speakers in the corners,audible above the babble of noise of the customers already in the bakery.  A couple at the farthest table were tucking into big slices of two of the most incredible looking cakes you had ever seen in your life. At the till, a girl with a high ponytail and tiny denim shorts was taking a branded pastry box from a tall, skinny-but-somehow-broad guy. Another man with a black hat pulled low on his head brushed his fluffy blonde hair out of his eyes where he sat at one of the tables opposite the counter. He shot the staff member a beaming smile and a thumbs up, then returned his attention to the laptop open on his table. You eagerly made your way forward as the girl with the ponytail began to exit the shop. “Hi! I’m Luke, welcome to Dagger & Snake Bakehouse. What can I get for you?” The worker - Luke - greeted you enthusiastically with a toothy smile. His smile faltered slightly when you asked for an iced coffee to go with your lunch, but before you could think about it, he sprang into action as a second man appeared from an archway beside him, mid laugh. You divert your attention to the newcomer and your heart skips way more than a beat. He was, without question, the most beautiful human you had ever seen in your life. He was tall - though not as tall as Luke, but twice as broad. The muscles in his arms bulged through his t-shirt, and you could see tattoos on his arms and wrists. His hair was in a perfect quiff, and the brightest shade of red you could imagine. You noticed what appeared to be flour speckled across the top of it, and melted slightly more. His face was a set of perfect, sharp angles contrasting with the soft dimples in his cheeks as he laughed. You had never been so aware of every molecule of your own body. You felt tingly and numb and on high alert all at once. The urge to lick your lips was suddenly overwhelming. “How are you getting on, Luke? Did I hear an iced coffee order over Calum’s shenanigans back there?” His voice was like hearing a song on the radio that you haven’t heard in ages but always loved. Luke shook his head and played it cool, whilst the love of your life turned to you with a warm smile. “It’s Luke’s first day! Go easy on him. How is he doing?”  “Ashton! I know exactly what I am doing!” Luke sniffed, opening a cabinet door that turns out to be a freezer drawer and scooping ice with confidence. Ashton giggled again and held his hands up in surrender, shooting you another smile before heading around Luke and out onto the bakery floor. You unconsciously followed him with your eyes, across the room to the window cabinets where he began making adjustments to the display. He had to bend and lean to reach the very front, and after allowing yourself a few seconds to stare at his ass in tight, black jeans, you came to your senses and reluctantly diverted your eyes back to the counter. Luke leant conspiratorially towards the counter and you unconsciously mirrored his movement before he began to whisper to you. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing.” He laughed as he straightened back up and steadied the coffee cup in his hand before continuing in an airy, cheerful voice. “I almost never do!” “I’m sure it’ll be great, don’t worry!” You reassured, casting an eye over the blender Luke was working with now. You were sure it would be. Probably. Your eyes traced the white printed branding that adorned the apron on Luke’s chest; a traditional tattoo style dagger and snake.  “Why Dagger & Snake?” “Oh, that’s a question for one of the bossmen! Ashton!” Luke called across the shop. “Yeah?” You jumped at the voice that came from right behind you, spinning around and coming face to face with Ashton wiping his hands on his apron. “Sorry!” Ashton apologised. “I didn’t mean to scare you!” A soft, genuine smile played on his lips as you took in just how hazel his eyes were. You felt like you’d just walked up a flight of 200 stairs. “The lady would like to know why you and Cal named this place Dagger & Snake Bakehouse. Oh, balls.” Something hit the floor behind you, but you paid it no mind as Ashton’s face lit up. “They go together, to mean a bunch of stuff, right? Kept seeing them at tattoo shops, together. They can symbolise healing, the Roman god of luck, good vs evil; loads of cool stuff. But always together; that’s me and Cal - Calum, my best friend, we own this place, 50/50. He got the dagger, I got the snake. Brothers, forever.” Ashton talked with such conviction, and pulled his t-shirt sleeve with enthusiasm as he held his arm out to you, showing you a stark black tattoo of a snake. “That’s so sweet.” You breathed out, without really thinking about it. He looked at you like he hadn’t expected that adjective, but like he was turning it over in his mind. “And cool!” you added, nodding slightly. “You think so?” Ashton smiled, pulling his sleeve back down, looking quietly pleased. You let a few seconds tick by in silence, looking into his eyes to see what you could see. It looked like the whole world. “Yeah, I do.”

***

“Um...I think so, yes.” You thought you were just about straddling the line between casual and so-nervous-you-could-honestly-throw-up-a-little. “I wanted to ask you this that day, but I thought I’d sound so creepy, and unprofessional, and I didn’t want you to think I was a freak, or that I did this all the time, but-” Unless you were projecting, Ashton looked as nervous as you felt. “Ashton, point! Get there!” Luke yelled gleefully from the kitchen, followed immediately by a sound that you were fairly certain was Calum smacking him upside the head. The yelp of ‘Ow!’ that followed it seemed to confirm your suspicions.  Ashton faltered slightly, looking embarrassed and mumbling something about ‘idiot’ and ‘fired’. “Ashton.” You reached out your hand and placed it on his where he was nervously drumming on the counter again before you even thought about it. You weren’t sure which of you was more surprised at your involuntary action.  Ashton raised his eyes back to you, peering at you with hope in his hazel eyes.“You think I could get your number? Take you out sometime?” You allowed yourself to smile, widely, genuinely, as you knew just how to answer. “Yeah, I do.” *** masterlist for the 5sos ficwriters collab  • my masterlist