#have no fear i'm in no danger. this is a normal reaction to this medication. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sillydreamer · 3 years ago

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Hello There! I'm so glad to have found your tumblr! I love your headcanons so much! Your writting is great and I can really imagine the characters doing/reacting like that in the canon! You got them pretty well! 💕

I hope you get more apreciation, because you truly have a talent for this! 💖

Now, about my request... I always wonder how would the Moonlight Lovers boys react (and possible relationship headcanon) to a Female MC that is an Assassin/Hitgirl? A woman that knows how to fight with weapons, shoot and stealth ways off eliminating/killing people?

If you don't mind doing this, of course!

Hope you have a nice day and take care! (And don't forget to drink water) 💙

ML boys with an assassin MC

That's a good idea tho, in any case here's the request and please don't forget to drink water too <3

PD:It's a little bit long so click more if you want to read :3

Vladimir:

He had heard about these type of jobs, he had lived for a long time and probably has spoken with people that worked on these; but his girlfriend?

His first reaction is to hold her shoulders and shake her while his voice shivers with fear "Are you okay? That's a dangerous job!"

Vladimir is very protective and he'll ask her to quit and do anything but be safe. If he can't do it he'll just sigh and stay quiet.

It takes a while for him to get used to the idea but once he does it Vladimir gives her some advices about how to be safe and handles her some bandages just in case that things are out of control.

He doesn't go with her though, Vladimir just waits for his girlfriend to return but always asks for time and place, if Eloïse doesn't return by the time that she said he'll go out personally to take her back, without minding if the job is done or not.

Anyway Vladimir will listen to every work day (or night) that she has. They would sit at Vladimir's bed and he'll listen without interrupting (maybe he'll make a face of displeasure if Vladimir hears something that he doesn't like).

Every time he'll beg her to leave the job, it's dangerous and doesn't want to loose her one day.

Beliath:

When she told him about her job Belaith only felt curiosity. Like "Oh yeah? What type of guys you slide off? Have anybody discovered you?"

Indeed he's curious and wouldn't hesitate to make questions about the job. He's like a proud parent (somehow) and really feels good to see his girlfriend being strong enough to protect herself.

But don't confuse this with ignorance, he knows that is a hard job and over all; dangerous. He'll ask his girlfriend if she's doing good and when Beliath sees any type of injury he runs to get an aid kit and take care of everything himself or he'll ask Ethan to do it.

Wants to know everything about the jobs and if he sees that they are very dangerous he'll ask Eloïse if he can go too, just to make sure that everything's okay.

Beliath wouldn't intervene in any case, he just looks at her with a proud face, however if things are getting a little bit out of control he wouldn't doubt on getting involved, getting to the point that he doesn't mind on getting dirty if that means to protect who he loves the most.

He would ask Eloïse to train together in hand to hand combat, just to make sure that she can handle everything. As I said he cares about his girlfriend and believes that she's a strong woman, is just that sometimes he can't but worry a little bit.

Raphael:

He has a mini panic attack but hides it very well. it's a dangerous job and sometimes it doesn't end well by both parts...

Like Vladimir he heard about this job and felt that it was needed a strong mind to take someone's else life or that's needed to have a cold heart to don't think about the loved ones of the person's life that she just take away.

Now Raphael is all the time worried about your safety, his reaction in very similar to Vladimir but is more persuasive and gives some hints to indicate how much he wants Eloïse to quit and to be safe.

Sometimes he'll cry while hugging her because he's very worried and scared about what could happen if someday someone discovers her job.

If he can't make her quit Raphael will teacher her other ways of fighting or how to use her senses to be safe, also giving some advices about how to act without being suspicious.

Raphael needs to know when she's leaving and when she's coming back, not to be toxic is just that he needs to be prepared when the worst happens. If she doesn't return he'll ask for Aaron to seek her and bring her back, reminding him to don't risk himself too much.

When she returns he'll be the happiest person in the world, while making sure that she's alright Raphael's voice will ask gently if she needs anything.

Eloïse can tell him about her day/night of work without the fear to be interrupted, once she finishes a soft kiss will land at her lips, followed with a hug.

Aaron:

Aaron isn't scared or anything, he's just curious about how she ended up in that job. He used to be a mercenary and has quite experience in similar jobs and knows that something must happen for someone to end up in there.

He's more about asking questions like "How did you find that job? How you work?" Aaron understands that there's a difference between Eolise's job and his old occupations and wants to understand it. Once he does it then he'll start to worry about her safety, knowing that being a hitgirl involves a type of risk.

Unlike others this guy knows that he can't do much to stop her, instead of putting his energy in convincing her to quit Aaron just decides to help her and even train Eloïse.

Aaron might go with her sometimes and serve as a guardian, watching her back and kind of working as a team. Of course he doesn't want to get in the way and leaves his girlfriend be, just entering into action when it's really needed.

Don't get fooled; that Aaron leaves her be and helps Eloïse it doesn't mean that he's really pleased with the job.

If things are out of control he'll transform into his wolf form and scare the shit out of that person, perhaps Eloïse needs to ran behind them but at least she's alive (or at least that's what Aaron thinks).

Ivan:

He's more surprised than scared. She takes the bad guys? Like the videogames?

Then Ivan realizes that this is the real life and now the baby is worried "Has something happened? Are you hurt?" He hasn't live long enough to face these type of risks and acts more like a normal human would do.

Once his girlfriend calms him down or at least answers his questions he'll be impressed and proud; knowing that she's able to manage things by herself and being able to be cool makes him smile.

In any case Ivan doesn't go with her at the missions/work. First of all because he believes that he'll screw things up and that can put you in danger. Also Ivan doesn't want to control her life, if she's sure that she can do those things then he trusts her.

Really enjoys hearing the work experiences, it makes him feel like a child hearing someone else's stories. Still he's very worried but glad that she make it out without being hurt.

I have the feeling that Ivan would ask to be trained with these weapons, just in case that he needs to use them and also to spend some time together with his girlfriend.

Ethan:

Literally his response would be something like "What the fu-"

Ethan can't imagine the girl that pulled him out of his depression shell to be an actual killer and is paid for that, getting into dangerous situations but then turns into the sweetest person that he has ever met.

Doesn't make questions about how she get the job, some people´s past may be dark or with things that shouldn't be revealed. However if she wants to speak about it Ethan is pleased to hear everything.

Since he knows how to use guns it will be a new couple-thing to train with it and see who makes the best shots (until Vladimir gets mad with them for breaking a window lmao)

Doesn't mind getting a little bit dirty if that helps, he isn't very sensible to these type of things and if he can help then is better.

In case that Eloïse gets hurt he'll heal her right there and when they return to the mansion Ethan becomes a protective guy, always making sure that she's comfortable.

Probably teacher Eloïse a little bit about medicine just if she's alone and needs some medical procedure.

Neil:

She's a killer? Great. Want me to hear about how I make Vladimir kill your parents, Eloïse? No but he doesn't make a huge deal about the hitgirl thing. Like Ethan he's more surprised that the cute face that he saw was actually something very dark.

Despite being surprised Neil doesn't make a huge scandal and acts like nothing ever happened, just asking if the job is doing well and if she has any troubles with it.

This man is old and has learned to use multiple weapons (even if he prefers to fight with his hands) and doesn't hesitate to show his knowledge to her, always making sure that she's ready for the worst scenario even possible.

May go to the work with her, just to see how's his girlfriend doing but don't get in the way (usually) and if Neil sees that she's not doing that good now be prepared for him to turn into a trainer.

Does this because he really loves the freedom that she has, but he can't leave her in the real word unprepared (How could you leave a child in a pool without teaching it how to swim?)

It's very supportive and doesn't ask her to quit, instead makes sure that she's stronger and looks like a proud dad when she achieves anything.

#moonlight lovers neil #moonlight lovers headcanons #moonlight lovers raphael #moonlight lovers beliath #moonlight lovers ethan #moonlight lovers vladimir #moonlight lovers #moonlight lovers ivan #moonlight lovers aaron #moonlight lovers eloise

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compassionatereminders · 4 years ago

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I know you can't tell me if I'm good or bad, but could you advise me on whether I should seek help or not with an issue? I'm the type that has a long fuse and gives second chances, but tries not to tolerate bullshit & ends up holding grudges if you cross my boundaries or push me past a certain point [which is hard to put into words. I operate on a three strikes you're out system.] Like, I hold onto things. I may forgive, but I don't forget and my trust fluctuates accordingly (idk if this counts as a grudge but).

Anyways,, I've also had folks push me past the point where I care and that's a tough spot to come back from. It's not that I wish them harm, I just don't care about them or their doings.

But. On 2 occassions I've been pushed past that point, and started having thoughts where I wish them harm. This is what I'm somewhat worried about. I don't and haven't harmed anyone, I'm not even sure these thoughts are mine fully-like I think they may be intrusive-All I do is sit with it, and let it pass..but I'm worried that this indicates something sinister or perhaps means I'm not making as much progress as I thought. Idk, maybe this is a normal thing, but everything I've seen (which is trash media tbh) says it's not.

I have been trying to figure out if these thoughts are intrusive-but it's difficult since they are few and far between, and any other time I'm indifferent like I'm not wishing them harm, I just don't care. Plus...it took months to realize my regular brand intrusive thoughts were intrusive. These thoughts definitely could be-but what if they're not y'know?

Ah but this is kind of long..sorry. Should I try to speak to a professional about this? Ask them that last question, and for some help in figuring it out? Or do you think I should spend a little more time on it by myself? I've had time to mull it over (about 3 months) but the times where it's been like that doesn't total more than 3 days. Both are valid answers, and if I did stay the course of doing it myself I'd give it another month or so and revisit the idea of seeing a professional.

I'm also asking because I'm heavily biased towards avoiding medical professionals of any kind due to medical trauma & paranoia. But they say the first step to fixing an issue is to recognize you have one! 😅 so maybe I'll be able to recover from it one day. For now, I'm just scared of being retraumatized or forced inpatient without my consent, and no way to leave (which is what makes me a little nervous to talk about these things with my doctor/therapist admittedly.)

Thanks for reading, and for any advice you have Kat.

I honestly don't think what you're describing here sounds abnormal or worrying at all. Being really angry with people who hurt you is actually a common trauma reaction - and as long as you're not planning to act on these thoughts, they're not inherently wrong or bad. Especially not if they're few and far between and make you upset and scared when they do occur. So as long as you're not actually a danger to anyone, I really don't think you need professional help just for being angry with people who hurt you. No, not even if you sometimes wish them harm. That's a pretty normal and quite common response to getting hurt and not something you need to pathologize unless you start fearing you might act on it. Your thoughts can't hurt anyone and thus they don't define you.

#chat with kat

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lady-wallace · 4 years ago

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Blood On Sand (Febuwhump Day 8: “This is No Time to Sleep”)

For today’s @febuwhump prompt: “Hey, hey, This is No Time to Sleep”

Fandom: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders

Synopsis: Tag to Wheel of Fortune arc: Jotaro was injured worse than he thought but they're stranded out in the desert. It's up to Kakyoin to watch over Jotaro while the others go for help.

Thanks to @bzr35 for helping me pick this prompt!

~~~~~~~

Read on Ao3

Read on FF.net

If you’re enjoying my stories, check out my ko-fi! (I also do art and fic commissions) Or, if you just want to buy me a coffee, feel free to request a doodle :)

~~~~~~~

The sun was pounding down mercilessly, and Kakyoin watched tensely from the backseat of the car as Joseph and Polnareff tried to fix the decrepit engine which had given out on them about half an hour earlier. From the sound of it, Kakyoin didn't really think that they would be going anywhere else in this car.

What was more worrying, however, was his companion sitting in the seat next to him. Jotaro slumped against the door, head tilted toward his chest, hat pulled down low. His shallow breathing hitched every time he shifted, telling just how much pain he was in. Jotaro may have won the fight against Wheel of Fortune but he'd taken twice the amount of hits as the rest of them, and had suffered burns on top of that.

Kakyoin's attention was returned to Joseph as the older man sighed and reluctantly lowered the hood. "It's no use. There's only so much tinkering I can do. This car is shot."

"So we're stranded out here?" Anne screeched.

"Of course not!" Joseph grinned at her. "You have legs, don't you?"

Kakyoin pressed his lips together, glancing toward Jotaro again, who didn't even seem to register what was happening. Normally this would only be an annoying set-back, but he wasn't sure Jotaro could even walk to the nearest civilization.

"Come on, boys!" Joseph called.

Jotaro startled and blinked, looking confused for a second before he clumsily reached for the door handle and opened it.

Kakyoin was already out of the car by the time his friend stumbled to his feet.

"Jotaro, are you okay?" Joseph asked him.

"Yeah," came the terse reply.

"Let's go then."

Joseph took the lead and Jotaro followed, but only managed a few steps before he swayed. Kakyoin hurriedly ducked in and grabbed his elbow, accidently gripping a burned patch of skin. Jotaro grunted, face paling slightly.

"Mr. Joestar!" Kakyoin called. "I don't think Jotaro's going to make it walking that far right now."

Jotaro grunted and tried to pull away from him. "I said I'm fine."

But another swaying step, proved differently and this time it was Joseph who caught and steadied him.

"No, I think Kakyoin is right," the older man said worriedly. "You got hit harder than I thought."

Jotaro was breathing heavily as he still attempted to push himself upright. "We don't…have time for this!" he panted.

Kakyoin felt his chest tighten as he saw something akin to panic in Jotaro's eyes. Not for his own sake, but for fear of his mother's condition.

"Well, what do we do then? We still need a car," Polnareff said.

"Not to mention some better medical supplies," Kakyoin stated blandly. They hadn't even had burn cream. He stepped forward. "I'll stay here with Jotaro. The rest of you go to the nearest town and see if you can find a car."

Jotaro shot him a look before turning back to his grandfather. "Jiji, come on…I'm—"

"No, Jotaro," Kakyoin cut in firmly. "They'll be quicker walking alone. We'd have to slow down for you anyway. It will probably be about the same length of time for them to get there and drive back. You know you're not going to get far in that condition."

Jotaro glowered at him for a long moment, but Kakyoin stood his ground firmly, lifting his chin, and finally Jotaro glanced away, pulling his hat down as his body shook from the obvious strain he was feeling just keeping himself upright.

"I do agree that it will be better this way, but are you sure you'll be okay here alone?" Joseph asked worriedly.

Kakyoin didn't like the idea of splitting up either, but considering they had just defeated a Stand user they might get at least a little reprieve. "Hierophant will be able to tell if someone is coming."

Joseph nodded, if not a little reluctantly. "Okay. Stay off the road, and keep safe."

Kakyoin nodded and took a firmer hold on Jotaro, leading him back to the car, propping him against the side as Joseph, Polnareff and Anne started off down the road. Jotaro grunted, raising a shaky hand to pull his hat down further over his eyes. Kakyoin squinted in the sun, feeling it beating down on him and knowing that it had to be even worse for Jotaro who had lost his coat—and with the burns…

Kakyoin looked around, but there was no shade anywhere nearby this time of day. The rocky cliff face to their right wouldn't offer a shadow until hours later. He was going to have to do something though, because Jotaro had lost a lot of blood, some of it still seeping from the bad patch job they'd done with little more than band-aids Polnareff had had in his bag, and he was looking worse and worse by the second, face pale, sweat dripping off his skin.

Then he swayed, knees shaking and Kakyoin caught him quickly around the waist, trying to steady the taller boy. Jotaro let out a sharp gasp, stiffening.

"Sorry," Kakyoin said, wincing as he realized he must have grabbed one of the burns. "Come on, you should sit down."

Jotaro grunted, but didn't protest when Kakyoin dragged him around the car and settled him down. This was the only place that there was any sort of shade, just a couple feet of it, but it was better than nothing.

There really was something deadly about the desert sun though. It wasn't like the muggy heat of summers back in Japan; it was merciless, pounding into your head.

Jotaro landed heavily, legs sprawled out in front of him, still bared to the sun. Kakyoin winced as he saw a patch above Jotaro's knee where his trousers had been burned through, revealing a pink patch of skin. There were more on his arms and neck, and a couple that had gone through his shirt. Jotaro leaned his head back against the side of the car, eyes closed.

"Hey," Kakyoin said suddenly, really starting to get worried by Jotaro's unresponsiveness. "How about some water?"

Jotaro grunted, giving a small nod. Kakyoin hurriedly rummaged through their supplies and found a couple canteens. He took one and handed it to Jotaro but the other teen's hands were shaking too much to open the cap. Kakyoin swiftly retrieved it and untwisted the cap, then held it for Jotaro to drink from.

"M'fine," Jotaro muttered, reaching up to grab the bottle, only to spill it down his chin.

Kakyoin sighed and took it back, helping Jotaro drink. He took several large gulps before he settled back, closing his eyes, shifting uncomfortably on the rocky ground. His skin was starting to tint red and not just from the injuries and the burns.

Kakyoin worried at his lip, he really needed to get Jotaro out of the sun before he burned up.

Suddenly, he had an idea. He took his uniform coat off and tucked the tail into the car's door before stretching it across Jotaro and anchoring it to a large rock that sat a couple feet away, making a sort of tiny sunshade. Jotaro glanced up at it briefly, and seemed to relax a little now that the sun wasn't beating onto him directly.

"Thanks," he murmured. "But you…"

"I'm fine," Kakyoin assured him. He still had his long-sleeved shirt to protect him, and there was enough shade to cover him a little bit at least. "I only have a couple shallow injuries. Two of those gasoline bullets went right through you, and I know the burns must be bad, especially in this heat."

Jotaro grunted non-committedly, slumping further against the car, tucking his long legs up fully into the shade, bracing his feet against the rock.

Kakyoin sat in silence for a couple more minutes, noticing Jotaro's clenching fists, before he said. "They'll be quick. You know we all have the same goals, Jotaro."

Jotaro refused to look at him, but his hands seemed to loosen just slightly. Kakyoin set his jaw, knowing how he would feel if it was his mother in danger. That was part of the reason why he came along to begin with.

Jotaro shifted as if seeking a more comfortable position and his back slid against the side of the car, causing him to hiss in pain. Kakyoin glanced over and saw a smear of blood, more drops falling into the sand before.

"Jotaro, you're still bleeding!"

Jotaro glanced down, blinking at the drops of blood. "Said I'm fine."

"Not if we don't stop that bleeding," Kakyoin put his foot down in exasperation and reached into the car again, pulling out a scrap that had been left over from earlier bandaging. He pushed Jotaro forward and pressed hard against the still-bleeding hole through Jotaro's shoulder.

"Dammit, Kakyoin," he growled, the first real reaction Kakyoin had gotten out of him.

"Sorry, but I have to put pressure on this. I'm not going to let you bleed out."

Jotaro gritted his teeth, and Kakyoin caught a flash of something in his eyes before he looked away. Was it…fear? Kakyoin wasn't entirely sure what he'd seen, but it was definitely not something he would expect from Jotaro Kujo.

Jotaro shifted again and Kakyoin checked the wound before pressing harder. Jotaro bowed slightly, another choked off sound escaping his throat. Kakyoin felt him trembling too, more sweat beading on his skin, dripping down to join the drops of blood.

The amount of blood that had soaked into the back of Jotaro's undershirt was not something that gave Kakyoin a good feeling. The other boy really needed stitches for these wounds.

He was able to get the bleeding down to a trickle again, and grabbed more of the scraps and the last of the gauze.

"I'm going to try to plug this," he said. "It will hurt, but it will stop the bleeding."

Jotaro grunted non-committedly and Kakyoin removed the wad of bloody cloth, pulled Jotaro's shirt away from his shoulder and shoved the gauze into the wound.

Jotaro stiffened, a sharp gasp escaping him as his hands clenched in his lap. Kakyoin hurriedly pressed the cloth back over the wound and began tying it off tight against Jotaro's shoulder, hoping that would keep him from bleeding too much more.

He was just finishing up when Jotaro started to sag, and then slumped completely to the side.

Kakyoin's eyes widened and he reached out and grabbed him, hurriedly propping him back up. "Jotaro! Hey!" he shook him. "Hey, this is no time to fall asleep! You hear me? You need to stay awake!"

Jotaro's eyes slit open with a moan, blinking. "Too loud," he grunted.

"Sorry, but you need to stay awake. You're going into shock from blood loss and that's not a good thing," Kakyoin said, trying to keep from panicking. "Just don't pass out on me!"

Jotaro let out a long breath and slumped back against the car, looking like he was fighting to keep his head up, squinting. "'S really hot," he murmured, more sweat dripping down his face as his body shook.

Kakyoin pressed his lips together and reached for the canteen again, offering it to Jotaro to take a few more swallows before he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wet it. He reached out to press it against Jotaro's face.

Jotaro jerked back. "What're ya' doin'?" he slurred.

"Keeping you cool," Kakyoin said firmly. "You might want to take off your hat."

Jotaro ducked away again, turning his head away. "No way."

Kakyoin sighed, but worked around it, dabbing the sweat and blood from Jotaro's face and neck before refreshing the cloth again, settling it against the back of his neck.

Jotaro sighed and started to slump again. Kakyoin nudged him. "Come on, don't sleep."

"Trying," Jotaro murmured and he sounded so tired and worn down that Kakyoin felt something twist in his stomach. He hadn't once seen Jotaro lose his cool though he knew that he had nightmares and would bury his head under the pillows at night, sometimes shaking with pent-up emotion. The fact he was slipping now when he knew someone was watching told Kakyoin just how badly he was hurt.

"Talk to me," Jotaro suddenly said, startling Kakyoin.

The red-head resumed his ministrations, feeling suddenly at a loss for words. "About what?"

"Anything," Jotaro said. "Just…keep me awake. You've always got a lot to talk about."

"Well, okay," Kakyoin said and thought about it, looking around for inspiration. "You know, I read this really interesting article once about the desert ecosystem…"

Enough time passed to give them more shade, and though Kakyoin could tell that Jotaro was still only barely hanging on, he was hanging on and that's what mattered. He talked about whatever came into his head and Jotaro listened, nodding or sometimes giving a small sound of acknowledgement. Sometimes even a mumbled question or comment. It was kind of nice actually. Kakyoin had never had anyone to talk to like this besides his parents and though they were always patient and showed interest in what he was interested in, there was something different about talking to a friend who genuinely seemed to enjoy listening to what he had to say. He would never have suspected that Jotaro was so interested in nature and biology and such, but he didn't think that his friend's attention was faked either. It wasn't like he really had the capacity at the moment.

Still, Jotaro was hurting, sure enough, and Kakyoin felt a huge relief when he heard the sound of an engine and saw a jeep pull up next to their car.

He stood up from under their tiny lean-to as Joseph and Polnareff jumped out of the car.

"Kakyoin!" Joseph called, hurrying over.

"Mr. Joestar," Kakyoin sighed in relief.

"How is he?" the old man asked.

"I was able to keep him conscious, but I had to stop the bleeding in his shoulder again. He really needs more attention," Kakyoin said worriedly.

Joseph nodded and knelt to see to his grandson as Kakyoin pulled his coat down, folding it over his arm.

"Jiji," Jotaro murmured as Joseph put a kindly palm to his cheek. The fact Jotaro didn't even pull away was telling.

"We're back, Jojo. Kakyoin, help me get him to the car. It's only a half-hour's drive back to the town."

Kakyoin and Joseph pulled Jotaro to his feet and mostly carried him to the car. They got him into the back and Kakyoin folded his coat around Jotaro's shoulders. It was small but would do a little bit of good at least.

Polnareff and Joseph grabbed the rest of their stuff from the other car and then they were on their way.

Kakyoin glanced over at Jotaro who was slumped against the door, but his eyes were open, meeting the other boy's gaze.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

Kakyoin nodded, a small smile on his lips. "No problem." He paused then said. "But you still can't sleep until we get you proper medical attention."

Jotaro huffed something like a frustrated laugh.

"I know what will keep you up!" Polnareff announced. "Singing!" And he launched into some raucous French song.

"Good grief," Jotaro groaned, ducking down as Kakyoin stuck his fingers in his ears. "You should have left me to bleed out."

They all laughed as Polnareff got offended but they were safe for now, and that was all that mattered.

#jojo's bizarre adventure #stardust crusaders #fanfiction #febuwhump #febuwhumpday8 #Jotaro kujo #noriaki kakyoin #Jotaro and Kakyoin friendship #Jotaro whump #jjba part 3 #jojo wheel of fortune #whump #my fics #one shots #art #jjba fanart #whump art

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theseagull16 · 4 years ago

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Warning the following content includes swearing ideas of suicide attempted suicide and depression and anxiety and mental illness detailed graphic descriptions and sexual references and criminal acts which could be upsetting to some viewers viewers discretion advised before reading the rest of this post remember this is all of my own oc is not official and I don't know how to make it if it's even possible anyone knows please comment but for now is this is my personal SCP but other Scps mentioned are real as in official

At present day Dizzy has requested out of the blue for an interview it's noted that is SCP has often refused any interviews that is requested to her and any interviews normally that she participates in are immutable, lies or just plain out ignored. But Dizzy has come to researchers and bargains an interview for the deal of being allowed to visit SCP 1508 in private for an hour at least site director... has agreed to the interview and taking Dizzy bargain so long as she doesn't cause any harm at all, any sign of aggression or sines of excitemen stress to anyone during the interview any signs of escape interview and her deal will be off. Dizzy has to where when juring outside of her containment high Dennsery expense gloves to avoid causing inorganic objects to be affected with poison table and area around Dizzy is not to be approached by interviewer or touched juring interview because that would trigger the response of the poston to exploding and causing the effect to happen. Interview Dizzy being green interviewer is in blue

Begin log

Instant silence

You know we could come closer I won't bite, l said I won't hurt anyone and you're standing in the middle of the room on a chair looking like an idiot might as well come closer to the table.

I would but you're leaning your elbows on the table causing your so-called "poison" to infected it and if I touched any object infected with dos green veins I end up suffering norva and diarrhea for the next good 62 hours

sigh what's the point of having these gloves on when everything is already infected with this stuff, there's on point keeping them on

She throws the gloves into a nearby bin

I don't think you're allowed to do that

Err fuck like who's going to care anyway, not like I'm using them anyway

Still if you don't coporate this interview will be over

then herey up and say some God them questions

Alright why a sudden desire to communicate. Until say yesterday you refuse to take any interviews flipping off, telling to f*** off or any other offensive language to anyone who comes near you with the idea of doing any experiments or interviews. And in unlucky situations sometimes you even vandalised there cars, objects rooms, or just make them sick

(A laugh could be heard in a slight giggle) what can I say they deserved it

To you maybe

They do deserve it Dizzy slams her fists onto the table

Calm remember

Yeah I know stay calm or no interview blah you're probably going to ask me about that later in the questions and to answer your question about why I suddenly have the urge to talk to you bush bags I have my reasons but I don't think that's important the only thing your little Foundation fides important is I share my knowledge I ceep carefully to myself so if you want to know anything just ask you're stupid question you had on your mind since the day you started working and found out about me now then I can get on with my day

So long as it ends with you visiting SCP- 1508.

If you mean by Joe which is his name by the way then yes yes I do

Which moves on to the next question why do you dislike when we call you by your designated numbers instead of your name

AAA Dizzy Flores her head back laughing before continuing in a mocking manner you supposed to be smart but still asked me simple easy questions. What to get my opinion it's kind of obvious I don't like being called that because I'm not your property is the degrading and I have a name so I don't see why not use it. it's supposed to be respectful to use somebody's name and I don't see being called at number is very respectful it's why anything or anyone in here that doesn't have a name I give a name

Is that why you break into other SCP containment rooms.

At first usually I just go into the room for entertainment in the form of a conversation or to hopefully make a new friend like and Joe, know any other SCP but then after I get to know them better and I found out they have no identities and some of them are also as miserable as s***. So I give them a name to have an identity with the name.

why do you have the urge to break into other SCP containment for your own entertainment can't use ask for something to keep you entertained

No it's more than just entertainment is the opportunity to travel, explore, marvel and brighten up the day of different objects and people that can usually only be found in fantasy amazing and every experience is almost always something new you can't put a price on that or replicated is not same and it kind of pisses everyone off, so it's an added bonus for me ahah.

Next question are you aware of your other a anomalous traits other than your main one

Do you mean other than the fact that I didn't take a s*** in literally over 60 years, I haven't cough, sneeze, or felt anything other than normal for decades that I don't even need the shower when just for entertainment and It turned the water green with my poison, and that anything that comes on to me like bacteria that is harmful gust slides off my body and clothing and every part of me, that I can't feel actual fear other than shock seeing it's a negative emotion or the fact that I can't be affected by medication even with a positive effect and life vitals machines don't actually work from me yeah I kinda have notice

What's your opinion on the SCP held here at the site and throughout the foundation hard to pinpoint your exact your opinion on SCP even when observing other SCP is hard to get your exact opinion your reaction are randoms to say the least

Actually that kind of a hard one Doc, my reaction is random because it's really depending on what happens when I go in there I don't really know what to expect I just go with the flow and see what goes on in there really it's kinda going into a room blindfolded almost and as for my opinion for other SCP some of them I actually I'm glad they're stuck in here seeing that they will probably kill the whole god damn universe if they ever got out and others I feel sorry and also disgusted by the foundation for keeping it here it's not their fault and they're not even dangerous they just a little different that's all that star eyed girls she just want to get out but you won't let her shame on you

She which you have named galaxy never put any request for ever mentioned for going outside

That's because he is scared if you would just sedate her like other in here

She wouldn't be scared if people not mentioning names didn't tell exactly what people do in here to SCP when they are to Wiley

yeah put the blame on me why not it's not like he has brains to figure it out by yourself you really underestimated SCP that's another reason I find the foundation disgusting we're not objects or least not all of us

Moving on

Hurry up

Do you anything about the laxatives in the tea of dr ....

Maybe

now let's get to the source of this conversation in the first place, why the sudden urge to visit SCP- 1504 usually if you just want to see him you preferably or duo not encouraged method break into his containment and settings free usually or vice versa why now you deciding to go for more for the less catastrophic method of visiting

Like I said before I have my reasons

Oh really

What are you getting at is this a double course because if it's a double course I will

Don't worry we can't even double cross you know negative effect remember

We did some research on your friend Joe as you call him and surprisingly we discovered that today is his birthday and it so happens since was contained every year on his birthday he seems to be more miserable year after year it's also happened you demanded an interview you might despise us but we are intelligent we kind of put the dots together you might as well admit it

.... Alright fine I admit it I ordered this interview in hoping to get privileges of allowing me to visit him on his birthday he is miserable is sad seeing the only companion you probably have around here for who knows how long I stop counting decades ago just drink and get high on his birthday and not even happy it's a miserable sort of way in a sense of will depression and years getting older nothing to getting better for him even after me even just visiting him in his cell still miserable tied up in there but not even a single birthday cake or compliment from anyone other than me to make him feel better even though I know you don't even notice so I decided to take the long short by getting this party

That quite admirable actually your friend is not getting on well with his birthday so you decided to do something sweet for him, don't think from your records of time we let you two be together you'll probably get a reward like an extra radio but a party station I don't know

Worth a try

And what happens if it fails

I guess you'll be another miserable year then

Never realised that your friends up with SCP 1504 this toxic

Personally I think that comment is bullshit.

What makes you think that don't you notice you encourage each other to drink, smoke, commit crimes, and vandalism even notice once a couple of years back that you and "Joe" somehow managed to make a secret meff lab and using it to experiment with different a SCP for fun in the basement of site 91

Hahaha I'm surprised you idiots didn't notice that earlier we somehow managed to drug up at least 6 SCP before anyone noticed and even then it was by accident when they were clean out the old basement Dizzy throws back in her seat laughing AH AH

You think it's funny to drug up SCP some of them are people you know

Bravo and in only took you experimenting on them and somebody else who having needles jabbed into them who are not scientists to say it

Regardless don't you recognise that what you and 1504 are doing is cruel and reckless

Hypocrite!!

You know what I mean

sure on the surface it sounds ridiculous and somewhat crazy and be honest we kind of are it a way but before you see anything is my explanation when you were immune to heam itself we kind of lose the will to be careful in a way and when no negative effect can be brought on to you you also lose more of that desire to hold back in a sense it doesn't mean that your conscience has been affected it does means you're a terrible person a little bit bad but deep down good people or at least I'm a good person and the people we "druged up" as you called it they were all willing to do it and some of those people even asked for those hi all of the SCPS we did it were objects creatures that were animals in a way and people who asked or couldn't get any worse if we give it to them see the records none of those SCP if you don't believe me none of them were harmed at the a little bit delirious and tired after a while but fine we're not monsters we don't do it to hurt them in the way we do it to make them feel better what do you think people take drugs in the first place to make them forget about the horrible things in life it's not good to them and it temporary but what else can I get around here some of them they even steal it from us check the records again if we didn't do it together we probably would have done it in any other scenario and as for encouraging each other for doing thinks like I said when your immune due to lose any sense of dread do it we drink and smoke but in a way is nothing other than like drinking water or leads to me and as for Joe he gets drunk and high but in the end of the day it doesn't kill him it just get a headache I only do it the keep company if I do stop him you just do it anyway so really I I don't do it nothing bad will happen we are not normal people plush employees in the foundation actually bought some of the meth we made before they were probably discovered

OK how much other scenarios like the time you and Joe still Dr.... car and drove it through a SCP portal to another dimension into a abandoned waste dump full of scrap metal that goes on for miles not only did you also kidnap a mtif soldier and through in the back of your car but you also crashed the place and then crashed the car all the time when you and Joe escaped he loading some rich women and you beated her with cricket bat and then stole her money another terrible time when you were transported to another complete by plane with a couple of other SCP they decided to be better if you travel in an like normal people instead of in an enclosure and you're scps friends including Joe before you even entered the plane you used a plank placed on a rod on the floor to hit Dr clef in the balls

Slight giggles

you turned a man into a crying wimp on the floor clutching his groinedon in the plane when a Stuart found out you were french he greeted you in French you shouted back to him vous pouvez sucer le Dr Clef glorifié boules meurtries enflées Stanley Joe got drunk and you filmed it he passed out and then insulted and walked around the whole plane during the entire flight and when you came down you did the same thing you did to Dr clef only to Dr bright even though he tried to avoid it

Ok as for the car bit I was upset about my miserable life and so was joe slightly drunk and felt like we both needed something to cheer each other we saw the car out and I know Dr.... loves that car sweat to God I think I was him kissed it. I got pissed seeing Dr.... is a go for nothing jerk he puts D class into danger for no reason that's like any other people and just like any other person I would want to punish him I told this to Joe well you know what he had the idea of and there was a testing with SCP-093 dimension portal nearby so you can guess what happens next we hijack the car with some bottles of whiskey from some security officer and a camera, Dr.... was me in the car and I flip him off you should have seen the look on his face it was priceless and so we just drove straight through the portal like nothing and mtif trucks was chasing us it was absolute thrill and never felt so alive. And I didn't give a care of anything. The car was faster than them one of the sodger somehow managed to get up to us much have been in the back we didn't notice he was out match I paralyzed him and then we throw him in the back he was a jerk anyway so I don't care Anyway when the gas run out we watching the sunset tuke pictures of the car each other and us settings to the top of the car drnking whiskey having a blast gust two friends hanging out so we have no blame it was f****** awesome then the mtif scod fade us got the guy out of the truck and tode us back the car getting distorted was a actsdet nothing to do with us when we got back one of the crans for the portal fell

As for the incident in the plane Dr clef had it coming for the looongest time just ask any female SCP or researcher I did them a favour. That'll teach him a lesson to make smart ass remarks not so tough when reality

I'll be lying to say your not a little bit right there

The flight attendant mug and I wasn't it really in a good mood since I hate the foundation ice auto be a good time to that's really good friends was making some interesting memory videos and making them all upset. The woman incident was when me and Joe escape once we needed money and there was no banks nearby but a horrible rich woman don't feel sorry for her, we only steel off people that really deserved it well I do Joe don't I make him do it because I don't want him stealing off innocence the lady was a rich scamp who treated the poor folk like trust and Roberts said she was in the black market and even sleep with one of the old judges to get off from stealing charity money from orphans she deserved what she got, we beat up a little not anything fatal just enough to make her ugly then stole some money we broke into her house and use my powers to give us so blisters on her feet to just to make sure that the hit one kill her. And Joe hit her in the back with a bat

Why do you feel like you can use your powers to punish the ones who avoid the justice system in some ways

I have to power to make people suffer I might as well use it tell me if you had a chance to save someone or just stand whilst they be killed you would obviously choose them it's similar to how when I see somebody doing harm I can't just stand there I have to make them pay for it I believe everyone gets what they deserve eventually even if not in life they will get it in hell but it's too late because they're dead so I make sure they get the punishment before the dead to know what they did was wrong

when ever you brings us this or just someone annoys you and you played a prank on them you never killed them no matter how bad things they did are

because if I killed them I will be as bad as the people I call monsters I might have lost a lot of things but I would never ever in any circumstances lose my homity and dignity by being a hypocrite and committing what I believe is the worst thing a person can do to a person bring death and personally I don't really see this as a punishment when it comes to my own suffering I feed as a way out but obviously I'm immortal so that will never happened

When you first came to this Foundation was very suicidal it seemed to approve over the time I'm are you still suicidal

Sort moment of silence

Not as before to say I'm not completely suicide that would be lying kind of faded almost as the decades went through I see it as a sort of sideeffect being a model eventually your pain blur's into the conscience of your mind and your personality over take it because nobody get the live as long as me and I have pretty of distracted seeing as Foundation always bring something new that helps friends I made since helped but to say I'm cured completely nope some days is worse than others sometimes. but if there was a better option to be free for my depression I will take it of course but I'm glad I'm better than before you wouldn't believe how dark that mindset is

Has therapy helped

Yes definitely but is not just therapy I find everything helps me in some ways when it comes to friends to talk to even strangers people to listen to it that matter to get it off your chest helps a lot.

Speaking of your oh so "lovely" friends let's talk about them apart from Joe you made a couple of them over the years some more favourable than others let's talk about them less start with your closest friend and the reason why this interview is taking place in the first place Joe

Well you already know his life from his file as an SCP there's not really much to say about him apart from the fact what is he really like because unlike the rest of you I actually know for fact what he's saying or doing hints why we're so close friends

and hints why you 2 can get away with things like robbing people only two days ago you somehow managed to borrow 50 quid out of the wallet of Dr....

And we spent it on a magic coffee dispenser to trick somebody into drinking bin water just for fun

Nmmmm

But Joe and I kind of need each other he's the first to person to really understand me a fellow SCP you became my friend somebody who knows what it feels like to be lonely and is suffer for a good majority of time in fact I could say he suffers more than me even.I had are you still have a human connection or more reality until he met me he was suicidal depressed and nobody had any idea of it or even he had a blue tick knowledge you should have seen his face when you first realise he finally found somebody to connect to you and don't leave me feel worse that he couldn't give me a hug you know that's why he's in the streets that could because the amount of fluid is Santa's lack of escape makes a mad the let us be with each other and in close proximity because if he doesn't have a human connection now he goes nuts and once he was so this before escape from the mental pain he grabbed me by the solders and end of catching severe case of schizophrenia but also seeing him like that screaming bagging blood everywhere for the 62 hours is painful to watchbut we help with turning away we keep eachother company we have each other's backs we stop each other from going crazy I can feel my world go up if you don't want them with him because he doesn't care what I am he's not here to study he's really the only person that really gives a damn for me anymore and maybe is just because he's desperate for company but it's genuine at least

What about other people But 1st oof Did you ever fall in love

No, if you'd read my record, you would know that my anomalous ability makes people unable to be sexually interested in me, including able to feel any romantic feelings towards me which really sucks because nobody can ever fall in love with me which really sucks because I didn't have a boyfriend before all of this which really fuckin' sucks

Ok let's go back to some other questions then what are some of the other friends like scp-507

Honestly he's a nice guy but we and close friends sometimes gets nervous to are idea of fun mostly pranking people not into that sort of stuff sometimes me and Joe would sneak into his room he's pretty good at using computers

Explain

don't worry we just asked him let us see some videos that we are banned on watching well Joe's banned from watching is's nothing that bad and it's not like we scanned anything light drinker doe sometimes we will go to the roof to drink and being nice we invited him to come with us if you refused he would wosh out after half a bottle

Is that even allowed

Ah F*** them

What about jonesy the half cat you seem to be close to jonesy cat

I love jonesy his sweet and cute be honest he Sims more Joe friend seeing that I can't pet him but he's not afraid of me I can always play with him I told him tricks too

What tricks

I taught him to attack on command he wrecked Dr.... face it was hilarious. Moment of silence come on it was funny he only had a scratch

Moving on how about something different about Dr bright and agent Rocky Jones.

Temporary silence

Are you alright

Yes.

I believe rocky was the first person you ever encountered after your condition so to say happened if I believed correctly you two became close friends over the years even after his hair ternd completely grey you use to joke about that and he'd take time to come to see you and often joke about it until he's unfortunate demise unfortunately turned out to be by Dr bright

Rocky was a good man he was sent to like the other mtif soldier he went to the foundation for the sole reason of wanting to help others and protect others he never shot any human and never ever killed anyone even go against orders to save people including civilians and to avoid death casualties

he still experienced poison first time and leaving the second time he cut off his own hand to avoid getting infected again

Ok f*** off that was by accident and so was the second time you can't go 50 years without hitting an accident even if it's twice the actor of him cutting his arm off surprised me he did it so quickly and so swiftly I still feel sorry for him no matter how many times I see his prosthetic arm and no matter how many times he said to me it was ok I couldn't forgive myself for it but he never blame to me I don't know why but you never blam with me I'm Grace's for that

Unfortunately Dr Jack fight thought it would be a good test subject to a SCP due to the lack of D class and he was close to retirement he killed him with an axe and then experimented on his parts with SCP....

Anger: dat no good whatever he is didn't deserve to kill an innocent man and get away with it no matter how high he's clearance I wanted revenge I wanted to bury rocky picked up what's left of him in the acid bath and bury him of cause acid has no effect on me he's a skeleton but still l made sure he had a proper funeral with me Joe, some classes who are kind of nice and some scientists to also didn't like what bight did and missed rocky but he was the closest thing to a funeral I can get And then plotted my plan it was quite easy wait until it's dark nobody around other than the D classes, SCP and Joe distracted him than the clobbered him over the head well Joe bib then we tied him up to a cargo trolley and use my powers to give him a nail fungus I wanted the real pain to be more brutal than anything I have and then we'll come up he said crossword threaten even gloated and I stuck them over the face for that I told him he was going to suffer he said didn't care he's suffered before but I doubt he'd ever suffer like he did there and you could tell him his face he knew he was f***** when he realised what was coming to him a pit full of angry D classes who all had a bone to pick with him and some SCP who are also hated his guts and so didn't take the D classes we tied him up to the trolley made sure he'd couldn't escape and through him into the pit you should have heard him screaming begging for his released and even asking for help but no he was going to suffer just how rocky did .... 10 times worse the fact that I use my powers against him meaning that he wouldn't die butter suffer for round a good 10 hours it's more worse than poison because it's gets revenger gardens Joe and I just sat there watching with show during beer with him and some cigarettes it was the most relaxing thing I ever did for revents in the morning when everyone came and they put them out he's so scared of me after that's incident and it should be

And what you hate doctor bright so much

He's a prick

Oh really because your friend the plague doctor says otherwise

f*** you the plague doctor is not my friend I met him once when I escaped and he escaped in the same time and I found him by chance I only stayed with him after that to stop him from killing more people I didn't stop him from turning the bodies into what the plague doctor called the pestilence and the curd because they're already dead but he is scared of me he felt poison my poison and he's petrified of me

True when we asked about you in an interview with him he did say he was petrified to you but he also said you hate Dr bright to because you envy him you envy everything about him that he's in a SCP and he has the freedom that you can only wish for freedom to see your family the freedom to feel love freedom to have friends without restrictions to socialise and don't need to worry about making somebody have cancer just by giving them a hug and how he's anomalous ability doesn't seem to affect him that much and you hate when he says he feels upset due to his SCP status saying that because you're the only one who understands to suffering through and SCP you haven't seen your family in their decades you didn't even get to go to your parents funeral when font out you escaped to see the graves of the died of natural causes when MTF squad found are you are weeping at the graves they let you stay there a few minutes and then you went by your own recalled you carried on crying 4 weeks after that and as three siblings you don't even know what they look like no picture of them you have nothing

That plague doctor is wise I will give him that destrudo why am I a nice SCP but I'm stuck in here but all just constrictions that any other SCP has but Dr bright probably the worst person and most dumbest person I ever met is allowed almost get away with everything is not fair and that's for the real reason I hate him he says he understands and is sad because of his predicament of being a immortal he doesn't because I'm immortal to his immortality has no chains attached to it it's it's just sad to say just like that me there's always a catch I could just walk out of here with nobody stopping me but the catch is there's always a catch there's nothing for me out there there's no hatred there's no love there's no nothing what's the point of being a immortal if you can't enjoy it the only thing I bring is sickness and sadness I have to worry about giving people cancer just buy hugging them people are scared of me because of my ability and it should be but I feel miserable Dr bright is able to enjoy his life and he dares feels upset because of his predicament he should be god damn lucky he doesn't need to worry about it I didn't himself I have to worry about not only in myself my mental health but also others are not only hurt

is that why you stay here your numbers ability does prevent us from stopping you leaving

Yes

I see

it's also the reason whenever he says he understands pain the SCP feel the pain that he brings other people I make sure he's truly feels pain and he gets punished for his wrong doing

Now can I have my our with Joe

we'll have to see but that there's a lot of checklist to go through they might be even the couple of days who knows weeks until your permission has been approved

Ash I knew I wouldn't be getting to see Joe today but ok have a backup plan I went to Joe cell and talk to him before I came here if getting is interview fails there's always plan b this is breaks out and we go to the roof to enjoy ourselves and private for an hour

What

Gjvd

Rumbling noises lights Go out

Note lights went out due to SCP 1504 sneaking into the control room and the stopping the lights dizzy then escape through her miss form through the ventilation system and the two met on the roof after SCP 1504 took couple of bottles of beer from dr.... office the two stage on the roof remaining hour on deck chairs that SCP 1504 stole from a supply closetthe towards the sunset together was drinking beers a small recording managed to be caught before cameras went off of the two on the roof

SCP 1504 is blue and dizzy is green

So how was the interview

you no it was emotional but at least I got to see you too old friends

to old friends

the two then sheared and continue watching the sunset

End log

#ocs #scp #dizzy

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zombutt · 5 years ago

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Your military based OCs inspire me to want to make one, but I'm nervous about that kind of stuff being inaccurate about facts D: How do you do it?

Hello!!Oh man, thank yoU ❤️. And YES, join the heist!I will put it under read more; since I wanna answer your question best to my ability, a.k.a extensively.

OKAY, SO, to answer your question: I’d gone through the same ordeal and it can be a struggle. I didn’t know much about the military except for the scarce tidbits you can find online, but, there are few ways you can educate yourself in that aspect:First of all, the very basics. What nationality your OC is, where will they serve, what were they like growing up and what made them join, etc; it might seem trivial at first, but trust me, it’s important.What I suggest doing is, if your OC happens to be, say, British, you can search up reputable British authors (preferably former soldiers or SoO) and pick books specifically describing combat maneuvers. Keep in mind, however, that those are largely made up scenarios inspired by real events; still, they provide valuable insight as to how specific groups operate (a bit of a hit or miss that one, but it’s better than nothing).Then there are authors, who, given their broad knowledge and experience, pile it all up and provide you a guide of sorts. Usually, there’s a thorough description of the inner structure, chain of command, the history behind the unit and the reason for its formation, preferred weapons and equipment, the selection process, and so on. I find these to be immeasurably valuable, especially once you are satisfied with your initial draft.Therefore; if you have an idea already in mind, go with it and then search up the bits and pieces of information online before you supplement it with additional literature.If you want to come up with a soldier from the eastern part of Europe, books detailing the Russian army will do for the most part (the post-soviet countries that is; the military structure’s been largely untouched since that period). The writers/titles I can suggest on top of my mind are:Supervivencia - “CCCP Red Army Special Forces Spetsnaz”Viktor Suvorov - “Spetsnaz”Mark Galeotti - “Spetsnaz - Russia’s Special Forces”William H. Burgess - “Inside Spetsnaz: Soviet Special Operations”For British SAS, I’ve found John Wiseman’s “The SAS Survival Handbook” to be of great use (he has a really extensive bibliography for that very purpose tbf)If we’re talking about hired guns, a.k.a Soldiers of Fortune and all corporate manners of mercs, my two hot takes:Peter W. Singer - “The Private Military Industry and Iraq: What have we learned and where to next?”Christop Kinsey - “Corporate Soldiers and International Security, The Rise of Private Military Companies (2006)”The third option, which can be either a very frustrating experience or a goldmine; join forums where retired soldiers and vets offer their fair share of experience.If you do, keep in mind that people who join these are folks aspiring to become recruits one day; so having me prep a thread in there and explain as to why I did was met with various reactions at the time. Few members seemed weirded out, while others were delighted to see I wanted to be precise in my fiction and were very eager to help. I have compiled a massive doc for personal use thanks to’em, and the experience altogether was very satisfying; everyone was super kind and pleasant to deal with. Lastly; I can offer a bit of a small trivia that might help get you started:- There is a cultural gap between East and West, and that, too, affects the military structure and people’s view on it. I find West to be extremely formal, as they treat the army as a separate way of life. It’s a completely different take in the East; the army is actually viewed favorably upon (same applies to Poland, though we’re right in the center we used to be part of the Soviet Union. You could say we have this weird mixture of both mindsets intertwined together).

Oddly enough, this also seems to affect how the soldiers themselves tend to behave? It’s a weird statement, I know, but I happen to see Russian/Ukrainian/Polish soldiers much more easy-going and open to discuss the cons and pros behind their job. Westerners usually skip the subject altogether or give very vague answers (especially if they’re part SoF)- Not every special force soldier is a black belt.CQC (Close Quarter Combat) adds up to around 25-36 hours per the whole training course, therefore it boils down to pure essentials and bare grind. Soldiers are taught how to tackle down their opponent quickly and efficiently; it’s all about speed. There’s no such thing as self-defense techniques; that’s the kind of unrealistic horseshit you get from Hollywood movies. Additionally, there are no secret techniques regarding hand-to-hand combat. Krav Maga, despite the popular opinion, is not that special. It’s neither good nor bad, but nothing sets it apart. If you happen to get a hold of a SoF, they will admit that the best techniques stem from… MMA.

I’m dead serious; hear me out.MMA, in all fairness, is a system that compiles the best moves of all available techniques out there. A combination of MMA and BJJ (especially the latter) seems to be favored by a wide variety of Western forces due to its effectiveness. As far as you are concerned, you want to tackle your opponent down the moment you see them (speaking strictly of unarmed combat) - render them vulnerable. For some cool trivia; look up the involvement of Gracie Brothers and Delta Force (and the logos for both; Delta Operators and Gracie Jiu-Jitsu School )Keeping that in mind, it’s worth noting that CQC can be referred to combat that takes place at 100 meters or less; so gunfights are in!- Special Operation Forces are very, VERY quirky people! I noticed everyone has this belief that operators tend to be serious, no-nonsense people that fear nothing and no one.Let me tell you, that’s an exaggerated statement. During my time at the forums, I’ve met a handful of people that claimed to be SoF and few even provided actual proof. Regardless, some of them asked me very throughout questions about the nature of my fic (good morning I want to RP a realistic soldier, huge fan thanx) and apologized in advance in case I found all the attention overwhelming. I asked whether or not a trait like that is common amongst their colleagues, to which they replied that it depends on the person more or less, but it’s not an isolated occurrence! Normally you want to figure out your surroundings and adjust well enough, adapt so to speak; if you can learn something new, they’re all in for it - it may come in handy sooner or later. And they really do grasp stuff quick, fuck me.In general, they are polite, quiet and laid back people. There were one or two cases of somewhat “arrogant” fellows I’ve had to deal with, but it was nothing too drastic IMO.- Soldiers who claim to fear nothing and no one. Doesn’t happen; unrealistic af. In fact, there was this one interview, where a Blackwater executive admitted to having turned down so many potential employees exactly because of that. A man who thinks himself fearless is not only delusional but becomes a liability to himself and his own unit. In fact, most recruitment officers are in favor of hiring already married soldiers; these men will always take fewer risks and make for a more compelling fighting force in the end.- Whether an ordinary ground troop or all-out skilled SoF, no man can singlehandedly cause havoc or prevent it. Another Hollywood trope so to speak; one-man army. It simply doesn’t happen.

-RPing/writing about soldiers includes, besides occasional gunfights, figuring out basic medical terminology and educating yourself about respective procedures for each sustained injury.- SoF soldiers usually excel at two roles; a single special forces operator can be both a remarkable marksman and a field medic.- Humor is essential - it helps elevate pressure in between skirmishes.

- PTSD doesn’t always boil down to sheer anxiety and sleep insomnia. A PTSD can well enough turn into an OCD of sorts; looking out of a window for hours on end despite having no reason to do so, counting your possessions, hoarding objects of no importance. It can be very personal or right at your face- Some individuals find themselves unable to retire early; the bond between them and their unit, the belief of doing something good (or of putting themselves to better use out there) and constant adrenaline rush are too appealing of an option to refuse. IMO it’s completely normal if you consider the following: those people had worked together for a couple of months and under extremely hazardous circumstances.

Danger brings people together, it’s only natural; all of you want to survive and help one another while doing so, having formed a prior bond.

All in all, everyone’s different and everything can influence your OC’s choices and decisions, hence why I feel having come up with their backstory, such as nationality and alike, shortens the process significantly; you know where to look at and for what.

Hope you’ve found my lil wall of text useful! In case you’re in need of literature for that exact purpose, feel free to shoot me a message!

#Hello my name is Jasmine #welcome to my TED talk #Anonymous

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ivymike-blog · 3 years ago

Text

Disulfiram - the miracle drug?

So, for a long time now, I've been very interested in trying a drug called Disulfiram, more commonly known by its trade name "Antabuse" (I always remember it because it sounds like "anti-booze"). It's purely a deterrent drug, which is not a common concept in medical science. Basically, it makes your body react very badly to alcohol.

So how it works, is you take a pill every day, and if you're lucky, it has no effect on you at all (there are some side effects, but ideally it should do nothing). BUT when it is in your system, alcohol becomes a vicious poison. If you drink half a glass of wine, then 10 minutes later you essentially get a REALLY bad hangover - migraine-type headache, itchiness/rash, hot flushes, nausea, and some other effects (Your Mileage May Vary as far as I've read, people react differently). It CAN kill you, if you drink a large amount of alcohol quickly or have a bad reaction, but it's usually not that dangerous, just really horrible.

So in a way it's a placebo-like drug, in that you're not taking it for the effect it has, but for the potential effects it will have. The idea is that the fear of the effects will keep an addict away from the bottle.

I started taking it about 6 weeks ago, and personally, I swear by it in the short term. The best way I can explain the effect it's had on me personally is to describe the process by which I used to get drunk. This might sound odd, so bear with me, but I hope it will make sense.

So Stage 1 is normal, sober life. Simple.

Stage 2 is when the ide of drinking appears in my mind

Stage 3 is where I consider whether or not to drink

Stage 4 is when I buy the bottle (hopefully I don't reach this stage!)

The reason I separate the stages like this is to explain what a deterrent drug like antabuse does, at least to me. So, if you consider those stages, WILLPOWER kicks in at stage 3. I consider whether or not to get drunk - obviously objectively I shouldn't, but I want to. Sometimes the willpower wins out and I resist the urge. Sometimes (most times) it doesn't, an I end up with the bottle.

I thought that antabuse would help at this stage. It would be extra ammunition on the "don't drink" side of the debate, and combined with my willpower, it will help me resist. But I was surprised to find this wasn't the case. Stage 2 might happen at 8 in the morning, or if I'm busy or distracted it might not occur until later, but it almost always happens, and then leads naturally in to stage 3. Antabuse kicks in BEFORE stage 3. As soon as the possibility of drinking enters my mind, I just think "well, I can't. Simple as that."

We've all had the idea of buying a supercar in our daydreams. But as soon as the possibility of buying a supercar occurs in your mind, you immediately accept that you can't afford it. So you never reach Stage 3, where you consider whether or not to do it, because it's just not possible. Antabuse does the same thing to alcohol.

On the surface, this is a good thing - no more willpower needed, hooray! However, it's also dangerous. I will almost certainly at some point come off the antabuse, as it's not a great drug to take super long term, and it's inconvenient (I can't buy a Tiramisu from the supermarket in case the 0.02% alcohol causes a reaction, and forget about fine dining). So what happens when I come off the antabuse? My willpower has had no exercise. I haven't considered whether to drink for weeks or months. And when I come off the magic pill, suddenly Stage 3 is back on the menu - will I simply be as weak as I was before? Or even weaker?

My intention with the drug was to "get some dry time under my belt" before properly tackling the problem. It's very difficult to engage with any of the support available when you're hungover as hell, or fighting week-old withdrawal symptoms and feeling like shit, knowing that you could SO EASILY cure your bad feeling with a quick walk to the shop. You have to appreciate, dear reader, that when an addict quits, it's in the hope of making life better, but they are then forced to accept that life is actually going to get a lot worse first, and that is really difficult. Antabuse is my short term crutch - right now I'm 7 weeks dry. I'm through the painful bit, through the shakes and the sweats and all that, and it's been easy, because willpower hasn't been involved.

We'll see how things turn out...

#antabuse #disulfiram #alcoholism #addiction recovery #addiction #sobriety #sober #alcoholic

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himbowelsh · 7 years ago

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I'm the one who send you "Bill or Babe" question *evil laughter*. Your answer inspired headcanon idea for Philly crew + Gene + Babe: Babe was in an accident. His life is not in danger but he's bruised plenty and was unconscious for a while. Bill, Frannie, Julian, Spina and Gene get to hospital cause Renee recognized unconscious Babe and called Gene. Every person individual reaction to this stressful situation? Who's calm? freaking out? refusing to leave Babe's side? Who's his emergency contact?

She's waiting in the lobby when the arrived at the hospital. Gene has been texting her updates on their location throughout their drive -- he recounted no less than four yellow lights raced through, swerving around curbs at breakneck speeds, and cutting off a large pickup truck in the middle of the street. Renee has never been in a car driven by Bill Guarnere before, and she's happy to conclude she never wants to.

They're a sight as they pour through the doors, but Renee would expect nothing less. She has experience dealing with frightened family and friends; she sees them every day. She recognizes the familiar glint of panic in Spina's eyes, how Bill's tight jaw symbolizes the control he is struggling to hold on to, the way Fran's fingernails dig into her palms and Julian's hands grip the gen of his shirt. When she catches Gene's eyes, the sight of her best friend pale and tense leaves her feeling like she's been plucked from a summer's day and dropped into the depths of winter. Gene, who works so hard, loves so deeply, should never look like that.

"Where is he?" is the first thing out of Bill's mouth as he leads the charge into the emergency room. He looks ready to say more, but Renee holds up her clipboard. This is the most effective method of stopping a worried relative's rambling in its tracks, and the effect it has on Bill is no different."He's going to be alright," she says, not even pretending to read off of his chart. She's gone through it enough times, poured over every word since the second she recognized Babe lying on that gurney. She was the one to dial Babe's emergency contact, leaving a message to inform Bill Guarnere that his friend is in the hospital and he should come down immediately. Then she called Gene.Now she's not sure whether she should have waited or not. Gene looks as if something in him has splintered. A spiderweb of cracks have spread over the surface of his tranquil veneer. His jaw is tense, hands trembling, As he takes a step closer to Renee. His eyes are drawn towards the chart first. When she pulls it closer to her chest they turn to her, beseeching for any crumb of information.Bill turns to his girlfriend, running a hand along his clean-shaven jaw. "What the hell did that kid do to himself now?" he mutters, drawing an agitated huff from Fran.They're all looking for answers; luckily, Renee has many to give. "According to paramedics, Babe fell from a second story balcony. He fractured his arm, broke two ribs, sustained a head laceration, and what at this point appears to be a moderate concussion. He was awake and talking at the scene, but lost consciousness shortly after boarding the ambulance. Since then, he has not woken up.""Well, why the hell not?" Fran's hands have shifted from their tight fists; now they dig into her boyfriend's arm. If her sharp nails cause Bill any pain, he doesn't show it."He's under some sedation right now, and on medication to manage the pain. The MRI results have come back normal; there is no reason to suspect any sort of extensive brain injury at this time.""But you'll only know when he wakes up, right?" Gene's inquiry is sharp, almost accusatory. He sounds breathless. "You can only guess right now, you won't know --""Gene," Spina says, laying a hand on his arm. His voice is husky with all the emotion he is holding back. His brows are knit together in a tight furrow, but he still finds the stability in him to lead his friend over to the nearest chair. "Let's sit down, buddy. Why don't we all sit down?"Julian makes no move towards the seats. Neither does Fran, until Bill puts a hand on her back, nudging her towards the chair next to Spina's. She looks reluctant, but takes it; he settles down next to her, leaning forward with his elbows braced on his knees. He hasn't taken his eyes off Renee -- or, she realizes after a moment, the chart in her hands."So, what are you telling us?" Bill demands. "Aside from 'he's an idiot', cause we all knew that. Hanging off a balcony, christ." He shakes his head, jaw squaring in frustration, before he rounds back to Renee again. "Is he going to be fine?""They don't know," Gene mutters, but Renee cuts in before he can cause any panic."At this time, we have every reason to suspect that he'll be alright. The ribs will take up to six weeks to heal, about eight weeks for the arm. If he does indeed have a concussion, you can expect dizziness and confusion, followed by possible agitation and behavioral difficulties in the days following the accident --"Spina pulls his knit cap off his head. "Jesus H. Christ," he mutters."But in time he will make a full recovery." Renee finishes, swallowing after her last words. She seems to have done little to assuage the fears on Babe's friends, despite her efforts. They still look strained and worried, huddling together like a flock of sheep missing one of their own. It's an oddly pitiful sight.The only stone-faced one of the group is, to Renee's surprise, Julian. He regards her with coal black eyes, tracking her movements as she glances down at the chart she holds. When she lifts her gaze, she catches his, and he blinks as if he's waiting for her to do something."Okay," Julian says after a few seconds of silence. "So, when can we see him?""He's in Room 215, but visiting hours --""Renee, I work here," Gene cuts her off. "I know when the goddamn visiting hours are, and none of us care. How soon can we see him?"Renee bites her lip and sighs. "As soon as the next round of tests comes back," she informs them. "We'll have more information on his condition, and hopefully will be able to offer you more. Just be patient until then."

It is a moment before the group, as a single unit, nods. Spina slumps back in his seat, drawing his knees up and curling in on himself. Gene and Bill remain frozen, however, postures stiff as stone.

Renee forces herself to turn away, back to the nurses’ station. She can look up Babe’s file in their computer again; maybe he’s woken up by now. Maybe, maybe, she’ll have some good news to tell them.

There is no new information. She sighs, and switches tabs to another case. Babe isn’t her only patient, and right now she needs to focus on something less personal. A stranger lying in a hospital bed is infinitely preferable to it being a friend; someone she knows, who she cares about. She needs a distraction.

Carl Dawson in Room 213 has pneumonia. Wendy Alivias has an infection in her leg. Dorian Murphy got a cutting knife stuck in his shoulder, and is looking at nerve damage. An endless stream of unfamiliar names run before her eyes, and it is almost a relief.

She doesn’t want to look up, but she can’t help it. Their presence is oppressive. She can feel their anxiety radiating from across the room; their anxious murmurs drift towards her ears. She is finally forced into glancing towards Babe’s friends once more at the sight of someone crossing the waiting area.

“Bill!” Fran exclaims, and springs to her feet. She catches up with him in a few small bounds, but Bill doesn’t stop until he has rounded the corner and is proped up against the hallway wall. He is out of sight from the waiting area, but not the nurses station. Renee knows it is not her business, but she can’t help listening.

"I can't do this, Frannie,” Bill chokes out as he buries his head in his girlfriend’s shoulder. “I can't... losing him, it'll kill me. I just lost Henry, how can I -- why -- why can't I protect anybody?"

Fran’s arms lock around her boyfriend in a vice grip. Bill’s face is buried in her dark curls; Renee can only see Fran’s expression, the stolid resolution there. She hushes her boyfriend, running her hands up and down his back. Bill does not cry, does not tremble, but looks close to collapsing. Fran bears the weight of them both.

She is witnessing an intimate moment that she should not be a part of. Flustered, Renee turns away.

She finds her gaze drawn back to Gene, who is now sitting hunched in his chair. His head is in his hands. He is still as a statue of a mourning man. Something in Renee’s stomach twists, and she feels her throat tighten. Even Spina’s hand rubbing circles into his shoulders serves as little consolation, and Spina is close to breaking with his own worry.

Julian is the most unemotional of all of them, which takes Renee by surprise. She’d always gotten the impression (in the few times she’s met him) that youngest of Babe’s friends was also the most immature. In many ways that is true, but Julian’s composure now is remarkable. He is unflinching in the face of his friends’ strain. His knuckles, white around the cellphone in his hands, is the only indication that he too is feeling the pressure.

Bill and Fran are returning to their group now. Renee takes a deep breath and trains her attention back on her computer screen. She can check Babe’s file, just one more time...

A new notification beneath the name of HEFFRON, EDWARD J. takes her aback: Patient is awake and reactive. Alert, aware of his condition. Showing positive neurological responses.

Renee is on her feet before she realizes it. As she rushes across the room towards the waiting area, every head in Babe’s small group lifts. She greets them with a smile.

“I have good news,” she tells them. “He’s awake!”

#and cue a really sappy reunion scene #gene and spina cry #so does bill #but he tries to hide it by smacking babe #then fran smacks him for smacking babe while he's in a hospital #bill says theres no better place to do it #typical philly crew #my writing #Anonymous

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angelvenin · 5 years ago

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fifteen days to slow the spread

on the topic current events. tw for the coronavirus, death.

If you feel sick, stay home.

Do not go to work.

Contact your medical provider.

So, I don't even know what number day it is that we've been inside. I haven't gone to school in two months. How long is that? Sixty days? It was only supposed to be two weeks.

After the first week, my sister and I circulated through every activity we could think of. Painting. Playing piano. Playing guitar. Reading. Writing. Sleeping. Cleaning. But things got boring after the third day of playing the only songs we know on piano. We're not the only ones that are bored. My best friends text me everyday of how they miss going outside. It was 90° outside today, and I spent every hour indoors. Even now as I write this on my laptop in the early hours of the morning, as everyone else is asleep. What time is it?

2:35 AM.

Oh.

I guess I should get some sleep.

If your children are sick, keep them at home.

Do not send them to school.

Contact your medical provider.

Right now I'd be in geometry, counting down the minutes until school ended and I could go home and sleep. But instead I've only just woken up. It's 2:01 PM. Claire purrs beside me and I reach over to scratch her ear. The morning - well, afternoon - feels oddly relaxing and calm compared to others. I walk downstairs to find my family waiting for me. This can't be good.

"Liliana," my father begins, sparing no attempt to soften whatever blow he's about to give. "You're very mature. You've always been mature. You're handling this pandemic crisis incredibly well, especially for your age. Your mother and I are so proud of you."

He says it in a way that feels demeaning. Because I'm a teenager I can't be mature? When did that stereotype start?

"Thank you," I say anyway, "so what do you want?"

"We're starting to run out of… essential items." My mother sighs, looking at me with her tired eyes. "Even though we stocked up, we didn't anticipate the quarantine lasting this long, and we just don't have enough supplies for the rest of the month."

I look at Rachel. She's playing on her Gameboy, a hand-me-down from Dad's childhood. I don't think she knows what Mom is about to say, but I do. I hold my breath.

"We never want to put you in danger. But we need your help. You and Dad need to get more supplies. Today." she says, hesitation pounding every syllable out of her mouth.

"You mean we have to leave?" I ask. My mom and dad slowly nod their heads 'yes'.

"I'm afraid so, jellybean." my dad sighs.

"This is… awesome!"

If someone in your household has tested positive for the virus, keep the entire household at home.

Do not go to work

Do not go to school.

Contact your medical provider.

Mom and dad stare at me, in shock. Even Rachel pauses from Yoshi's Island and smiles at me. I smile back.

"Liliana, you do realize the risk of leaving, right?" My dad clarifies. I nod with a smile.

"Of course I realize the risk, I'm just so excited to finally leave the house. We've been here for two months. I barely get fresh air. And I can't wait to see people other than you all! No offence."

"None taken." my sister replies, her eyes now back on her game.

"I'm… glad you can see the positive side of it," Mom awkwardly states. I look at my dad, who's still shocked.

"Your mother can't go, it has to be you. I hope you can take the responsibility."

I know my mom wouldn't be able to go. With her medical state, she'd be at an incredibly high risk of getting sick or worse. Her lungs and heart are weak, and her immune system is compromised. We all take care of her.

"And Rachel can't go, she has to stay with me." Mom adds. Rachel squints her eyes at me and I return the glare with a smile.

"So, are you ready, jellybean?" Dad asks.

I'm so ready.

I fill my coat pockets with everything I can think of -

Hand sanitizer.

Gloves.

Extra facemasks.

Hair ties.

My camera (to take pictures).

"Ready to rock and roll?" Dad asks once we're both situated in his car's front seats.

"As I'll ever be," I respond. He starts the car and we're off.

It's hot. It's hot and it's bright outside, nothing like I've felt since February. Almost no one else is on the road. No cars are even parked outside. It feels like we're in a zombie apocalypse movie. My dad turns the radio up.

"Paid leave has now come into effect for not just government jobs, but to those in retail and food. Many fear this new allowance will cause a dent in the federal budget, but the President assures it is able to be paid for. I'm Maya Diaz, NPR News."

I usually block out the news, since they've reported nothing but the same story since March. The virus is unavoidable. Celebrities talk about it, friends talk about it, the mass media obviously talks about it. First it pissed me off. But now it's just a fact of life.

"Don't pick at your mask like that," my dad says. I sigh.

"It's so uncomfy! Are we almost there?" I whine.

"Calm down, jellybean. We're gonna be there in no time given this traffic."

"Or lack thereof," I take in the empty lanes beside us. Absolutely no one is outside. The city is usually bustling and the traffic is awful. But today, just the two of us are surrounded by silence.

If you are an older person, stay home and away from other people.

"We need bread, milk, water, toilet paper, vegetable oil, meat, cheese, spinach, apples, bananas, eggs, and toothpaste." My dad reads off of the pink sticky note covered in mom's handwriting.

"And bacon. Mom forgot to write bacon. We need bacon."

"Liliana, your mother hates bacon."

"It's the apocalypse, dad! We need bacon!" I giggle. He glares at me seriously and my smile quickly goes away.

"You can't say that out loud." He whispers as he looks around us. The only people in the huge grocery store are three or four cashiers and some shoppers stocking up like us. "People take those kinds of jokes really, really seriously."

It's sobering. Rachel and I joke all the time, but I still know deep down it's not something to joke about. I forget to filter myself now that I've left the house. I nod and keep my head down as we get the rest of what's on the list.

"Your total is $201.90," the ever so gloomy cashier says once we've finished shopping.

"Prices have really gone up, huh?" Dad jokes. I silently roll my eyes at the casual banter, anticipating the painful reaction from the cashier.

"Be glad you can afford it, bud." the cashier spits back. My dad doesn't respond. Neither do I.

Once we load up the car, we drive back in silence. I listen to the radio while I snap some photos of the empty streets when we stop at red lights.

"Of course, this virus hasn't even peaked yet, which begs the question: when will it? For now, schools and businesses are closed and trying to handle this unprecedented emergency. It is not unlikely that schools won't open again for the rest of the standard school year, as reported by the superintendent and school board this Monday."

"What the fuck?" I shout, startling my dad.

"Liliana! Watch your language!"

"Are we actually not gonna go back to school?"

He sighs and purses his lips. Oh God.

"You heard what the radio said. These are unprecedented times. No one really knows what's gonna happen, jellybean, but you probably shouldn't count on going back this year."

I'm silenced by shock.

It was my first year of high school.

Everything was normal four months ago.

I was so ready for the end-of-year formal. Our first aid unit in health. The history test I was gonna retake next week.

I never got to retake that test.

Then I think about her.

Amy.

Amy, my best friend since elementary school. We don't have any classes together but we always find a way to talk either before or after classes, joking and smiling and laughing. We're best friends.

And I'm not gonna see her until September.

Am I even gonna see her?

"There are now over eight hundred thousand confirmed deaths caused by this virus. Doctors are still trying to find a cure, and urge everyone to please wash their hands and follow guidelines by the CDC."

I'm just being selfish.

#angel writes #writing #covid19

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