#have it on the brain with my project going on

[madamechrissy]

Baby You're a Star

Art in the banner by Kerravi on x!

Pairings- Pornstar Satoru x shy f!reader

Summary- You meet Satoru Gojo at a wild Hollywood party, insanely out of place, waiting for your friend to show up. The two of you hit it off, spending time together, and share a kiss, but you're a good girl, and you just don't do this, but he is the top pornstar there is, and the top .01 % on OnlyFans. Once you find out, you know there's probably no match, as Satoru doesn't date, and you don't sleep around, but after meeting, you keep in touch- and soon Satoru can't get hard without thinking of you, and you get over curious, and join a livestream of the boy you like. Just how will that go for you both!? WC this chap- 11.5k (longestt)

Warnings- WOW this chap has it all, heed the warnings - filming porn masturbation ( m) oral (m and f receiving) spit kink HIGH KEY, mentions of cum, multiple rounds, switching positions, size kink, swallowing (M and F) explicit sex, feral Gojo, squirting, mating press, tummy bulges, lots of fucking goddamn- Gojo is whipped mutual pining, obsessive Gojo. Angsty asf in places, lots of jealousy

A/N- Taglist closed- This was so smut filled I took MULTIPLE breaks aha, maybe my most smut filled one ever? don't read in public actually - please comment/rb if you enjoy <3

<<<Chapter Two - Masterlist- Playlist- Chapter Four>>> (coming soon)

Chapter Three

You can’t escape the desire you have, even in your dreams.

Waking up cumming was not just new, it was ridiculous, and you didn’t even know that happened until this morning. Waking up with your cunt throbbing around nothing, and gushing arousal, as your dream was filled with Satoru kissing you, fucking into you with that thick, huge cock, hitting spots deep inside that felt real even in your dreams.

That’s it, sweetheart, cum all around my cock, hmm? Lemme feel her- there you go, baby.

That had done too much to your sleeping brain apparently, because you couldn’t stop cumming either, crying out and whining when you’d touched your cunt and felt the slick coating everything. After shaking violently from it, you’d peeked and seen a good morning text from him, all while you had to go get cleaned up, trying to compose yourself before you texted back.

Jenna calls now, shaking you out of your reverie, and the two of you plan lunch the next day. “You’re having dinner with him?”

“Yeah, but as a… friend?”

“Oh baby, you’re too cute.” You sigh, leaning back as you stir up some dough for cookies you were baking later, the sunlight filtering in through the little kitchen window you have open wide. You peer out into the sky, thinking it’s not as pretty as Satoru’s eyes.

“I do really feel things, but Jenna I can’t not be near him, if it’s as a friend, then it’s as a friend.” Jenna sighs louder than you did. “Are we having a sighing contest?”

“I’ll win any loud moan contest, but your sighs are cuter.”

“Jenna!”

You both laugh then, and a beep sounds on your phones. “Ah, looks like he’s going to stream. Gonna go watch your friend?”

“You’re an instigator. Maybe.” She giggles again, as you finish preheating the oven, scooping the dough onto the parchment paper.

“Be careful, you’re a grown woman, and things change, but don’t forget yourself, okay?” You pause then, emotions catching in your throat at her words. “I’m not trying to be the ‘mom’ I swear.”

“I know, Jenna. I love you, see you soon?” You end the call after she says goodbye, popping the cookies in the oven and turning them on. You set up your laptop, deciding to do some work for the weekend on a project your friend hired you for, but the temptation of seeing Satoru keeps nagging at your mind.

The man certainly has a pretty cock, but you think it’s the way he looks at the camera that fucks you up, it’s probably why he’s so good at it, his job. And he clearly enjoyed it, even though you know he was having a little difficulty with the last shoot, perhaps he prefers solo lately? To think you had anything to do with that was foolish, so you wouldn’t allow the thought.

The timer beeps, you stand up and stretch, turning off the timer and oven then, grabbing a bright red oven mitt and pulling out the sheet pan, smelling delectable, the steam hot and rising, scent filling your nostrils. You loved to bake, especially when you were stressed, and you suppose you were, having feelings for a man currently stroking his cock for the camera was conflicting at best.

You keep trying to tell yourself that it’s not feelings, that you’re inexperienced and confused, but you know you’re lying to yourself. You eye that silver laptop again, remembering the last time, the image of him sucking his own cum off his fingers is burned deep, a core memory at this fucking point. You shake it off, then sigh, giving into temptation.

You’d just tip him a hundred again to be supportive, you tip Jenna all the time, it’s fine, it’s something a friend can do.

Right?

You log in to the onlyfans platform, the black and blue OF making you just a bit nervous, clicking on the stream then, taking several breaths as you click on it. Fully prepared to be soaking wet, the sight that greets you is not Satoru stroking his cock, it’s another woman, her thighs spread, while Satoru runs circles on her clit. She’s propped on his lap, her head against his bare collarbones, moaning.

Your heart shatters then, and it shouldn’t, no you’re so stupid!

You are Satoru’s friend, and it was your choice to check his stream, to tip and be supportive but ultimately you know what you potentially signed up for. You saw him with Jenna, and for whatever reason that had not bothered you- maybe because it was before he touched you, looked at you like that.

The girl in front of him has two of his fingers shoved deep as he has her feet propped up on his thighs while you blink away stupid tears that shouldn’t exist, there’s no anger but there’s so much jealousy you shock yourself. You’re a girl’s girl, you’re supportive, what is this!? You’d like to rip her right off his lap, and you hate yourself for it right now.

You shake it off, looking away as the cookies fill your home with the sweet scent of sugar and chocolate. It should be a cheery morning, but you can’t even focus on anything but the conflict in your heart. You stare back again, hearing Satoru’s soft, husky voice, watching all the comments in the chat while he grips one of her breasts in his big hand.

Her head falls forward, and the way you vividly imagine it being you instead has you heating up, in more ways than excitement, embarrassment - you’d never be that girl for him, you wish you could be that way. But Satoru and you together felt too special, especially to share, how could you fall when this was your idea!?

You can’t be upset.

You take a breath, shutting your eyes and looking away as his voice resonates through the laptop’s speakers, echoicing in the quiet. If you were crazy enough you’d say it sounded different than with you, that he let go more, that you were even wetter when he touched you, but you’re starting to think you’re delusional.

“So, we wanna hit this spot right here, for any men watching, you’re gonna curl up here, that spot feels good, doesn’t it honey?” Your jaw sets, swiping tears from under your glasses now.

“Ah, y-yes Gojo!” Her moan echoes too much, he pauses then, the squelching of her cunt stops, it’s all quiet as he just stares at the camera like he’s staring at you, his lips parted, eyes widening just a bit, but there’s no way.

You’ve lost it.

You tip him the hundred as you’d intended to, quickly shutting your laptop and damn near hyperventilating. What’s wrong with you!? His job is to fuck women, so you saw him touching one, what do you expect? The man had a gang bang scene just yesterday, and dinner with you tonight. You have to shove it all down then, you have to remember what he does.

It didn’t mean it wasn’t special though, for you.

Did he do things off camera with-

Stop it!

The phone rings a few minutes later and you just stare at it, lost in your own head, wishing you could compartmentalize it so much better, that you could separate the two. You were so stupid for engaging and knowing, but at the same time, to not have Satoru seems like something you can’t compute, even if it is just as a friend, even if you can’t be sexual.

Maybe you read it all wrong, that night.

Satoru calls again, shaking out his hand as his co star is now fucking herself quite expertly on a dildo, since Satoru can’t get hard for anything - it’s worse today than yesterday - he decided to turn it into a guided masturbation video. At least his fucking fingers still work, despite jerking off to you so much his cock is raw, remembering your lips surrounding it.

Even fingering her he’s picturing your pussy, fuck he wants to just bury his face in it again, he knows the two of you are ‘friends’ or whatever the fuck this was, but it’s exceedingly difficult when it’s affecting him like this. He keeps wondering if you all sleep together, will it make it worse or better? Was he all in his head, as if you would go for someone like him if he did date.

What was he thinking lately?

He saw your name in the stream and his stomach had dropped - and why, you’re just a friend, it was fine if you wanted to see a bit of a stream and tip, he knows it is to be supportive. You’re supportive and sweet, so sweet, god your taste and scent still haunt him, he’s been dying to see you tonight, in any capacity, but when he saw the name he felt awful.

He only wants to fuck you, touch you, but he has a career and commitments, to get her to agree to this instead of fucking was already difficult and he was slowly losing it as his cock kept refusing to work. Even if he could get it up, he didn’t like the idea of fucking someone else at all, after the debacle of a gang bang yesterday. But even touching someone was doing nothing for him.

Now he saw you leave so quickly, and decided to gently smack his co star’s ass, smiling as he bent her over, murmuring he needs a break. She eagerly took over the spotlight, the opportunity was a huge one for her anyway as a smaller star. Satoru keeps staring at your picture, sighing as he notices the little reflections in your glasses, touching the screen softly.

You saw him touching someone, did you care, did it bother you-

Why is he thinking like this!?

He calls again, and you answer, much to his relief, as his hands let go of the bathroom counter he’d gripped too tightly. “Hey Satoru, sorry I popped in, I thought it was um… you…”

“Jerking off?” He finishes the sentence, leaning back against his wall and shutting his eyes.

“Yeah, I didn’t know you did um… shoots at home. You should get back to it, why are you calling me, silly? Looks like um… you were, ah… doing… good.” You’re breaking out every voice, cursing yourself quietly, why can’t you just speak? You’re shoving it all down, trying not to cry - there’s no reason to!

“Ah, yeah I thought I’d try to teach people how to make women cum, they fail often you know.” He tries to make it light, as his stomach clenches, a sick feeling when he hears your forced laugh.

“That’s very true. Someone should give you a Nobel prize for this work.” He snorts then, as the laughter becomes a little more genuine. “No you’re amazing at that. Why not show them how?”

“You thought I was amazing, hmm?” His tone changes, cock throbbing when he just hears your sigh, picturing you vividly in his mind, while the sounds of his co-star echo, moans and squelching wetness that does nothing for him.

Didn’t he used to enjoy all of this?

“You know I thought that.” Your heart pounds, you have to remember, Satoru is amazing and just because you’re hurt, you can’t be mad or upset at him. He’s not yours in any way, even if you’re starting to wish he was. “Isn’t your co-star waiting?”

“She’s occupying herself fine. It’s not… sex…” Because I can’t get hard unless it’s you. “It’s just a tutorial.”

“Oh,” your relief shouldn’t exist, you shouldn’t care, but to hear that does make you slump over just a bit, before taking a breath. “Do you want to do dinner another day, it’s already four-”

“No, no!” Satoru panics then, since when does smooth pornstar Satoru freak the fuck out and act desperate? “I mean, no. I want to see you tonight. I have time to shower and get there.”

He wants to wash any of this girl off, frantically actually, he wants you all over him, even if it’s just him pleasing you more. But moreso, even if you just wanted to have dinner and that was it, he’d be happy, though the thought of fucking you with his fingers while you eat dessert is insanely tempting, making his tip drool precum quite annoyingly as he glares in the mirror.

“Okay good, I was looking forward to it.” Your whisper is soft and genuine, as he sees the red on his cheeks, the black pupils, just thinking of you shifts his entire face.

Fuck.

“I’ll start getting ready, I think it’s time you see I can get dressed up.” You tease softly, swiping stupid tears and trying to plaster a bright smile on your face as you stare in your mirror. Your eyes are puffy, the color drained from your face, lips trembling - just seeing that has affected your entire face, taking off your glasses so you don’t even have to look at yourself for a moment.

“I bet you’re gonna kill me, you look so pretty any time I see you,” his voice is hoarse, as he spills the vulnerable truth, and the two of you shut your eyes, leaning against your bathroom counters. “But I’m excited to see you dolled up.”

“Are you, Satoru?” You try to hide the insecurities haunting you, hearing his sexy, heavy sigh on the other line.

“Very excited. I’ll see you soon, sweets.”

The two of you hang up and you sigh, eyeing the clock now - you have about two hours to get ready, and you’re so nervous your palms are sweaty and numb. It may just be two ‘friends’ having dinner, but you want to shove that image back you just saw, and focus, and try to look beautiful tonight.

Satoru’s own hands are numb, as he curses, slamming a hand on his forehead, unable to think of anything but you, barely able to pull himself together. When he walks out, Suguru is there, nibbling in the kitchen, raising a brow at him. “You good, Satoru?”

“Fine, I… you wanna finish that for me?” He gestures to the room, while Suguru sips down water. “I think I have a kind of date or something.”

“A date!? Huh?” Satoru just looks away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I don’t think it’s a date, it’s friends or something? Maybe... I don’t know. Is dinner a date if it's not with a costar?” Suguru rolls his violet eyes, sighing as he washes his hands now, patting them dry with a paper towel.

“You’re acting weird as fuck lately, that cute little good girl got you simping?” Satoru scoffs, rolling his blue eyes now.

“Suguru, just do me a solid.” Satoru pouts, earning Suguru’s scoff.

“Fine, fine, but you owe me one.” Suguru and Satoru enter the room, as Satoru eases the transition, the notes in the chat are going insane, he can’t help but exhale in relief, before pausing at the thought.

Was there some way to save his malfunctioning dick?

*****

Satoru whistles when he meets you at the restaurant that evening, running just a little late, you're sitting there nibbling on your thumb, peering at the menu when he arrives. Your eyes light up behind a different pair of glasses, these have cute red rims, matching the red dress you're wearing that's making him ache.

He hasn't seen you in something like this, not that you weren't always pretty, but when you stand up and he sees how it fits your body it almost takes him everything to hold back. Vividly picturing bending you right over that table and fucking you in front of the entire restaurant, gripping the red shimmery fabric that drapes across every line and curve of that body.

He can't form a word, notoriously known for never shutting up, but he can't think of anything to say, when you shyly look down, hands fidgeting in front of your lap, and he’s standing there sputtering. It’s awkward even, until the waitress comes up and smiles over at Satoru, gesturing to a seat, saying - ‘This must be the friend you were waiting for!’

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting, you look beautiful.” He says finally, pressing a kiss to your cheek, feeling it heat up against his lips. You shake your head with a sweet turn of your lips, kissing his cheek in turn.

“You’re fine, Satoru, I still haven’t learned LA time.” He chuckles at that just a bit, sitting across from you now, before deciding to sit next to you instead, shoulders brushing together.

“This feels more comfy? It feels all formal the other way.”

“Does it feel too… date like?” He falters then, because that was not it, but the doubt has crept in on your face, when the waitress asks you all for your order, and he has to blink back the confusion. “What do you suggest?”

“Want me to order for you?” You nod shyly, god the submissive nature of you makes him ache in way too many ways, knowing how perfect of a girl you’d be for him in every aspect. “We’ll have this,” he says, pointing to the menu now. “And bring two glasses of champagne please.”

“Are we celebrating?” You tease, handing the waitress the menu, Satoru chuckles a bit, shaking his head while you take in how handsome he looks, brushing your fingers against his suit jacket. “You look so good, Satoru.”

“Thank you, sweets.” He holds your hand then, fuck it feels too good, pressing it against the dark red suit jacket that truly only he could pull off, black button down shirt left open, showing enough of his chest to make anyone die over. Your eyes look at it now, a few of the chains he wears resting along the strong muscles, settling between his collarbones. “You’re making me look bad, wearing in that dress.”’

“No way!”

“Absolutely, you are. You’re so pretty, fuck…” He’s brushing back a tendril, as you eye him, that look that drives him insane, the look that’s ruined him since he met you. He tries to smirk, to act calm, teasing, “I look that good?”

“Yes, shit. Sorry.” He laughs softly, shaking his head when you pull your hand back gently.

“We match, great minds you know.”

“Indeed, we clearly coordinated telepathically!” He laughs then, and it's just like that first night, when you and him just hit it the fuck off. It’s comfortable, it’s fun - so fun - that people smile at the two of you, as you laugh like friends for years. It’s how it feels, like you’ve known him, a way you can’t explain.

But you wished it was just the friendliness, not the heat in your tummy when he wipes a droplet of clear, bubbly champagne from his plump lips, if every time his thigh brushed yours you didn’t melt. Someone comes up then, a really pretty girl, and you feel Satoru stiffen a bit, making you tense, sipping on the tart champagne and averting your eyes a bit.

“Gojo, it's been what, a year?!” He smiles with ease, standing and kissing her cheek, hugging her tightly.

“It has been, shit, how you been?” It’s all very Hollywood, their exchange, you feel you’ll never figure it out, the two years you’ve been here after relocating and you still couldn’t get being kissy on everyone.

It makes you think of him earlier, his fingers in that-

Stop that!

He’s saying your name you errantly realize, you plaster on a smile as she looks at you curiously, eyeing you up and down. “Co-star?”

“No, no, she’s my friend. She’s a good girl.” He winks down at you, and she giggles then, holding her hand out.

“It’s awesome to meet you!”

“You too. Are you um…”

“A former co-star, yeah. Satoru is the best in the industry.” Ah, so she fucked him, too. You want to be petty and scowl and you hate yourself for it more.

You never, ever are like this.

You never have been.

She’s touching his shoulder and making you sick, when your eyes catch a familiar face, a man standing with a group of other men, smiling over at you, he’s one of your co-workers that is always working. You wave at him while Satoru finishes his conversation, and he adjusts his tan jacket, touching the arm of one of the men, letting them go as he walks to you.

You tense just a bit, while the girl finally leaves, and Satoru’s sitting next to you once more, as his phone rings. He turns it off, jaw tensing when a blond man takes your hand and bends down at the waist, like some old school gentleman, pressing a kiss to the back of your delicate wrist, the pretty bracelet slides down your arm as he does it, and he watches your blush.

The fuck.

He was trying his best to get that girl to go on, so he could get back to talking to you, but now some random guy has your attention, and Satoru doesn’t like it, not one fucking bit. “Nanami, this is Satoru.”

“Nanami, huh?” He leans back, flipping off his phone again, you look at him curiously.

“Need to grab that?” You ask, and he shakes his head, swiping it off once more, ignoring his manager while this Nanami guy eyes you behind green glasses.

“You look stunning, is that alright to say?” You giggle again, Satoru glares at you, how dare you giggle at him!?

He told you that you looked beautiful. Did you giggle?

He wants to punch this smirking man in the face.

What’s wrong with him!?

“Thank you, Nanami, I guess you don’t see me too dressed up at work, huh? You always dress so well.”

“Oh stop, you’re flattering me. And this is your…” He trails off, looking at Gojo, who has to wipe the glare off his face for a moment.

Say it, Satoru.

More than a friend.

You look at him then, as if you’re waiting for him to say that, to say something, while Nanami’s lips quirk up just a bit, making Satoru want to smack him again. He takes a breath, smiling then instead of glaring, but his hand is on the small of your back. “We’ve become close friends, very quickly.”

“Oh? I’ve known her for a long time,” Nanami says, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away. You look at Satoru, whose phone starts ringing again, and he curses, rolling his blue eyes. “Need to take that?”

“It’s my manager, they have horrible timing. I’ll be right back.” He murmurs, you smile understandingly, while his manager trips on him about earlier.

He knows his dick doesn’t work, and now he knows he hates touching anyone, but he doesn’t know how to explain it to anyone when he has no fucking clue why this is happening. He’s obsessed with a sweet, shy little thing that is currently getting hit on by a dude buffer than him.

Maybe he’d be good for you.

Satoru is too petty to admit it though, glaring instead while his manager goes on and on. “Listen, I get it, you need content.”

“We need you with women, a lot of your viewers are men, they’re not gonna tune in to watch you solo. Find someone that works for you, I don’t care who at this point, but we’re just not gonna make profit if you keep turning down roles. Or, I heard, you shoved a girl off on Geto.”

“I didn’t… shove her off, I just…” Satoru frowns again, the blond man is sitting next to you in the other seat, your eyes are on Satoru however they turn away when he catches your gaze.

He just wants to fuck you right in front of that fucking man now. God, if you would be interested in starring in something, you’d make bank, it’s not just his obsession, your pussy is the prettiest one he’s seen. Your tits, your body, they’re all so sexy, and your pretty face with those glasses? You’d kill any sexy nerd shoot there was.

“Satoru!”

Shit.

He can’t get the vision of you in some slutty ass librarian outfit from running through his head.

“Yeah, I got it. I’ll try to get something going, I mean I was gonna do a solo tonight anyway.”

“That’s fine, but remember you’re a lot more than just Onlyfans. You’re a star, Satoru, that comes with a certain level of appearances. So whatever is going on, you gotta get it together, or we’re both not making shit.” He sighs, leaning back against the wall now, eyes going back to you, giggling at something he’s said.

He’s too close to you.

Why does he mind so much?

“I’ll get a shoot done.” The words feel horrible, the thought of fucking anyone else just seems like an impossibility, and he doesn’t know how to compute it in his mind.

What did you do?

“Alright, I expect some video with a woman - not with Suguru. Though…”

“I’m not fucking Suguru.” He chuckles as people look at him a bit, running a hand through his white locks. “He is pretty but not my type.”

“He’s gonna be your type if you turn down every other actress.”

“Ugh.”

“Mmhmm, talk to you later.” He hangs up, frowning at his phone, trying to gather himself before he does something so stupid, jealousy filling him and for what?

You’re talking. You’re not his. He had his fingers buried in a girl this morning, why does he care if you did anything? He knows you’re not that girl, though, but you choose to be with him. It makes him feel far, far more special than he’d admit, the fact that you want him, that you trust him. Was he mistaking the look in your eyes, was it just desire there?

“If you are single, would you mind a date sometime? I haven’t had so much fun talking in a long time.” Nanami says softly, making you look down shyly, lashes casting shadows on your cheeks from the soft lights hanging above you in the dimly lit, pretty restaurant. “Am I too bold?”

“No, no. I just haven’t been on a date in forever.” Satoru feels like he’s been punched in the chest as he hears, nearing the table and acting like he didn’t wanna yank you to him and kiss you then and there.

But he chose to tell him you’re friends, that’s what you were, a friend he wants to fuck all night in every position imaginable. Then lick his own cum out of your cunt, abused from his cock, and fuck you all morning. God he can’t stop thinking about them all, have you dragged on his face, his hands on your waist, let you ride his mouth till he couldn’t breathe.

Real fucking friendly.

Satoru’s hands grip and release while he hears your answer, “I will think about it, Mr. Nanami, it may be fun.”

That’s almost a yes.

Fuck.

“Think about what?” He asks with a smile, leaned back in the booth, a hand brushing your bare thigh under the table, where your dress had slid up from you sitting, he feels it tense while he drags his fingertips across it, eyeing you then.

Was Satoru trying to confuse you more? You look at him again, some toxic part of you that you don’t recognize wants him to claim you, what the fuck was that!? You have never been that way, you’ve never been a lot of things until you met this blue-eyed man, however, and even with a handsome Nanami flirting, you can’t get Satoru’s moans out of your mind.

Snap out of it!

“A date with your lovely friend. You two are just friends?” He looks between the two of you now, and Satoru opens his mouth, but what can he say?

It’s what you ‘are’.

Would he be worthy of dating you if he wanted to, when his job was fucking other women? You didn’t deserve that, you deserved to be the only one, fuck you literally had become his one singular, consuming thought. He smiles good naturedly, eyeing you now, watching you bite your lower lip, teeth digging into the plush of it, while your thighs tremble just a bit.

“We just met at a party a few weeks ago, but we are really close. Quickly.” He murmurs.

“Can’t see you partying.” Nanami’s hand comes to touch your other thigh, and for a girl who hasn’t had any in forever, the sensation of two big hands on your thighs is addling your mind. “No offense, darling you seem a little straight laced…” his words are trailed off with his hand squeezing gently.

Satoru scowls at him.

Is he touching you!?

Do you like it?

“I don’t party, it’s true.” You smile now, a hand over his, thumbs brushing his knuckles, while Satoru’s squeezing so hard you wince before he realizes it, letting go of his grip, but the hand staying on your knee. “I think we could go on a date sometime, as long as it doesn’t make work weird.”

“Not at all, all right I’ll leave you two to hang out then,” he stands, holding out a hand for Satoru, he squeezes the shit out of Nanami’s hand with a forced smile, only for Nanami to squeeze tighter. And fuck he’s strong. Then, he takes your hand, murmuring a - “I’ll see you at work, then,” and kissing the back of your hand. “Darling.”

Darling.

Satoru will show him darling.

You giggle, only pissing him off more, nodding shyly, fuck you’re cute even when you’ve made him furious. He’s shared women so many times he can’t count, even girls he got closer to, regular girls that you could almost say he ‘dated’ he’d still regularly bang out with his friends. He’s not possessive in general, he’s open minded and a free spirit.

Or he was!?

“Sounds good, Mr. Nanami.” He hates how you say his name, when the man in the khaki suit and dumbass cheetah tie leaves, finally. “He’s so sweet.”

“Yeah, so sweet.” You look at him then, narrowing your eyes curiously.

“You don’t like him?”

“I don’t know him. Seems boring, pretentious.” You blink in confusion, eyeing the retreating figure walking out, he even waves at you, which you return.

“He doesn’t seem like either to me. Satoru, you said we are just friends, are you worried that we won’t… do all that we do if I date someone?” Your words drop to a quiet murmur, and he sighs.

“Yes I would be very upset if I didn’t get to taste you again, why wouldn’t I be? It’d be a fuckin’ tragedy, sweetheart.” His words are too husky, when he leans against you, turning just so, his fingers slipping up your inner thigh, a side of sweet, nice Satoru you hadn’t seen yet, you almost think he looks…

He can’t be jealous.

Right?

You're delusional.

“I don’t just sleep around, so if we went on a date I wouldn’t do that. But, if I hit it off, and got serious, I wouldn’t continue our… lessons. I can only be with one person at one time.” He tenses then, is he going to lose you before he even gets you? “I don’t care if you do the same, I know it’s your job, but I couldn’t.”

“I’m not fucking anyone right now. My manager is bitching at me about it.” You tilt your head curiously, the chandelier earrings dancing in glittering prisms along your neck as you study him. “I’m having issues on set.”

“Is everything okay?” You ask, concern in your voice now, as he shakes his head. “Satoru, what's wrong?”

“I’m not in a good headspace it seems, the gang bang I failed, and I pushed the girl this morning on Suguru. So if I don’t give my manager something, they’re gonna be pissed. And no money for us if I can’t show up.”

“What’s wrong though, you seemed fine with Jenna in what I watched? Is this a new problem?” God you’re clueless to your effects, aren’t you? You touch his thigh too, instantly making his cock hard, looking down and getting flustered, he feels your heat, just making him harder. “You seem to work fine to me. Are the cameras getting too stressful?”

“I don’t know, but it really is a problem. Do you think… you could help your very handsome, amazing friend out?” You look up at him, curious.

“Help how?”

“Your good video skills, film a hot jerk off stream, good angles? Maybe that will get enough money he’ll chill some until I get over this.” You look away, the images of Satoru stroking his cock are burned in your brain. “Too much?”

“No, no. I can help, I feel I am taking up your time-”

“You’re not.” He cups your face then, turning it to him. “You’re never taking up my time, I enjoy being here. Okay?” You exhale, fuck had you been worried about that!?

How could you not know how badly he craves your presence?

“I feel bad that you’re going through this, is it the lesson?”

“The lesson did bring your taste into my mouth, and maybe no one tastes as sweet, it’s true,” his thumb brushes across your jaw line, smiling at how embarrassed you get then. “I think your taste would help me out.”

“Then, I’ll film you, but I can’t guarantee the quality.”

“It’ll be impeccable.” He raises two fingers, making your mind go to places it shouldn’t, you know another ‘lesson’ or session, or any time at all with Satoru was dangerous.

You’re teetering on the edge of feelings constantly, but you can do this, right, separate the two? He seems so good at it, at being your friend and then doing more, and you almost failed completely. You almost couldn’t say yes to Nanami because you are currently so delusional you think this star is so interested in you for more.

You have to accept him for who he is, no matter what, this was your choice to join his life at all. You take a breath now, trying to flip that switch off, the one that can’t stop thinking how much you’d love to kiss him, every minute of every day. The side that’s upset his fingers were inside someone, you have to throw her aside, and enjoy what’s here while it’s here.

He makes you question so much constantly, like every minute spent under that cerulean gaze brings out a side of you that you never knew of, some inner sexual side that only he can ignite. It’s so beautiful and special, his breath against your lips, you want to press them to yours, but so unsure, was he not about to be affectionate in public with you?

Was this just left for home?

He changes your thoughts when he kisses your forehead, far too sweet, then your cheeks, hot to the touch, down to your nose, making you giggle, relax. “You never ever waste any time.”

“I needed that.” You exhale, kissing his lips quickly as he smiles against your lips, and you pull back quickly. “I’d love to help you out.”

“I’ll make it worth your while, pretty.” His thumb brushes the slick on your upper thigh, right by your panties, watching your lashes flutter shut, as you take a shaky breath. “Come back to my place?”

“For the night or…”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure-”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Satoru’s paying the bill, signing a signature and leaving a hefty tip, then, holding out a hand for you.

“Did you drive here?” You shake your head, and he smiles, snatching up his phone now. “Perfect, I’ll have my driver take us over.”

*****

The second time coming to Satoru’s home was a little different, you were more comfortable, slipping off your heels now, he bends down to help you again, kissing your knees as he does, hands slipping up your thighs. Your hand brushes a lock of his white hair back, the unreal way you feel this comfortable, this drawn to him, makes your heart ache.

You’re so scared you’ll get hurt more, but you can’t stop yourself from being near him, from him looking at you like you’re the only fucking girl there is, are you so delusional?

Just enjoy it.

You close your eyes, sighing as he stands, kissing your lips again, easing your hand bag off your shoulder, brushing his thumbs across the mark it’s left on your shoulder. “Want another drink?”

“Yes please, if I’m going to be a porn director.” He laughs softly, shaking his head and taking off his suit jacket, laying it across the back of a chair when he pulls out the same bottle you’d sipped last time.

“You liked this one, hmm?” You nod, surprised he’d remember, taking the sweet liquid in the crystal glass, fingers brushing now. “Don’t get drunk though, I can’t have a shaky ass camera.”

“So demanding already, you really gonna make it worth my while you say?” You’re trying to tease back, like you can breathe or function in his presence, he just sighs, brushing back your hair behind your ear.

“That and more, sweetheart. We have hardly started doing things together, there is so much I can think of,” his hands slip lower, down the side of your neck, watching the goosebumps raise as he does, sighing at how perfect you look in his kitchen. “So many positions.”

“How many are there!?” He laughs now, at your embarrassed little look, pressing a boop to your nose.

“You’re endlessly adorable. Corruptible.”

“Oh!” He’s taking his own glass now, guiding you by your hand.

“Suguru’s out for the night, so we won’t get interrupted.” He’s leading you to his room, yanking off that black top, pausing as he sets up the ring light and grabs the camera, handing it to you, fingers brushing against each other. “You ready?”

“Ready,” your squeak of an answer makes him pause, taking your free hand, putting it on his bare chest as your heart hammers, trailing the hand lower to his belt and swallowing. “Need help?”

“Yes, I do.”

He needs you.

He’s desperate for you, fuck.

You’ve helped him undress, on your knees on the soft, plush carpet, when you start the stream, and he starts stroking that long, thick length right in front of you, he keeps looking at you, even when you gesture to the camera. He’s moaning, spitting on his tip, making it slicker for his big hand which still can’t come close to covering it, twisting and moving it all for you.

For his fans.

It’s hard to remember them when your cunt throbs, when you’re so overheated you can hardly stand it, and Satoru’s talking, low and hoarse. “Gonna cum so much, fuck…”

When he’s cumming you damn near do just looking, thighs pressing together for that friction, mouth fucking dry when your shaky legs nearly give out, while you come from a lower angle, reading the comments of his spurting cum, shooting up against his silvery happy trail, sticking all over, making you ache to drink it up.

“Fuck, I’ve made a mess, need someone to clean me all up.” Satoru whispers, while you barely are able to hold up the camera any longer, the livestream is avid with questions, namely - who is filming Satoru Gojo? And offers from many viewers to lick every bit of him up.

Satoru should stare at the camera, but he’s looking up into your eyes instead, stroking his cum soaked length slowly, just pumping more cum out of his tip, so much it’s ridiculous, dripped down to his balls and inner thighs. You swallow nervously, tummy clenched with desire, knowing you needed to stay quiet for the stream of curious viewers.

Satoru murmurs cut then, and  you do just that, shutting off the feed, and setting down the phone with a shaky hand, clearing your throat. “They loved it I think.”

“C’mere.” He crooks two fingers, and you eagerly obey, walking up to him now, tempting him to no end with the way your eyes drink him in. “On your knees, sweetheart.”

You obey again, eagerly in fact, looking up at him under lowered lashes as his clean hand slips up the side of your pretty neck, then around to the nape of it, entangling in your locks. Your soft whine and shift of your hips are all he needs to know you’re enjoying it, your hands obediently on your thighs, as if waiting for his every order, so sexy he feels his cock twitch back to life.

“Do you want to clean me up?” He asks softly, but the command in his tone is there, you nod and he exhales, tugging you towards him then. “Then do a really good job, sweets. Lick every bit clean like a good girl, and I’ll reward you.”

“I’ll do a good job.” Your whisper wrecks him, as he guides your head down, and you suck him, still hard, into your hot, eager mouth. Your soft whine vibrates around him, his head falling back as your mouth moves.

He can’t help but think of earlier.

A date, you were gonna go on a date, and he hates the idea, no, he fucking detests the idea in fact, the rage alone making him fuck your throat deeper, harder, feeling you gag and choke on him instead of anyone else. He shouldn’t feel possessive over his friend, a friend who’s sucking his cum, who’s swallowing him up, all he can think is his, his, his.

But you weren’t his.

How could you ever be?

Satoru’s never felt anything better than your throat, except he’s a million percent sure your cunt is better, he knows it would suck him up so greedy. When tears fall from your pretty eyes, it’s hotter than any blow job he’s had on set, the eagerness and desperate need to please far surpasses experience, your glasses fogging up when you pull back to take a breath then.

Satoru looks at his slick, spit covered cock, to thin trails of saliva disintegrating between your lips as you pull back, swiping at your lower lip. “How did I do?”

“Perfect.” His whisper is genuine, the words feel too good, you know you should stop, that you already wish he was yours, but you’re too addicted to how those blue eyes make you feel like you’re the only girl there is.

Even if it’s an illusion, a trick of your brain, or a practiced look.

The feeling is too euphoric not to be corrupted by it.

“You did such a good job, look at it, not any cum left. You sucked it all down, so greedy huh?” His hand comes under your chin, squeezing your neck gently yet so possessive, he wants to say it - his - but he knows he can’t. But it’s too easy to teeter off the edge, when your breaths come faster, breasts pressed up in that dress, rising and falling with each one.

“Satoru… I can keep going.” Your soft voice nearly ends him, little hand stroking his cock again.

“I was thinking of something, but if you don’t want to, it's okay.” You blink a bit then, tilting your head, tendrils falling against your bare shoulders.

“What is it?”

“A scene with me, but not showing your face at all,” your gasp and pull back makes him sigh. “It’d be like me eating your pussy, we could have it zoomed so no one sees your face.”

The thought, along with Satoru's sweet cum down your throat makes your tummy clench, while he brings out more and more of you that you didn't know existed. Your hands tense on his thighs now, taking a shaky breath, fingers along the downy hair on his thighs. “I don’t… Satoru you have a million options for costars-”

“I want yours. It’s the prettiest I’ve ever fucking seen.”

“Satoru…”

“It is. Wanna argue about my expertise here?” You just get more flustered and flushed, looking down nervously, but he tilts your chin with his big hand, angling your gaze upward. “I’ll split all the pay, you get eaten out, and anonymously. I’d never tell anyone, I’d never risk your career or anything. But I do need to do one, and I hate the thought of it not…” Satoru trails off now, the words sinking in.

“You like eating me out that much?” Your whisper makes him chuckle then, nodding and swallowing nervously.

“That pussy is perfect. How about we film it, and you watch it, and if you don’t want to, I just keep it to jerk off to…” Shit, he said that.

He’s so desperate and pathetic.

But you flush again, surprising him with your nod.

“Shit really!?”

“We can film it for us to watch, and… I doubt I’ll be okay sharing it, but we can see if you- ah!” Satoru’s got you lifted so fast you barely can blink, unzipped and turned in moments, leaving you in the prettiest red lace lingerie that makes him groan, his fingertips trembling on your skin. “I said probably not, don’t get excited.”

“I’m excited to bury my face between your thighs again, sweetheart.” You cry out when he’s pressed you on the bed, spreading your thighs and groaning, fingers tugging at your panties.

“How can you make sure my face isn’t there?” You ask softly, he grabs the camera and the stand then, cock just swinging around, balls smacking his thighs, so used to being naked he doesn’t realize his effects. You can’t stop staring when he gets it at the perfect angle, clicking his tongue.

“Just like that,” he murmurs, viewfinder showing your pretty cunt up close, he’s almost furious to think anyone could see it like him, but his career is teetering on the brink of nothing, and if you truly were okay with it, he only sees it as a win.

You broke his dick and now he’s begging to just lick you, and split pay with you, he never thought he’d be so pathetic, but it’s no wonder, thumbing your pussy and spreading it, sighing. “Mnh!”

“So, to keep it anonymous if you decide to show this, don’t speak too personally, okay sweets?” You nod shyly, gasping as he shoves your thighs up. “Also, hold them up high, so all we’re getting is a view of your pussy.”

“Yes, sir.” You tease, but his cock starts leaking again, earning his moan.

“Don’t speak too much, to be safe, I don’t ever want you to feel like anyone would know it’s you. Speak when we’re done, though, you can absolutely moan.” You nod, so nervous, what are you doing!?

It’s as if Satoru Gojo brings something insane and wild out, because there is a thrill of your pussy on camera suddenly, and knowing he is about to worship you, potentially in front of people has your cunt drooling for him. He hits record then, angling his face so his tongue was in perfect view lapping up the arousal, exhaling now as he shoves your thighs up higher.

Perfect, you’re perfect.

“God, look at this pretty pussy,” he murmurs into the camera, parting your folds so all that syrupy arousal can pool out, he hears your sharp intake of breath, watches your red nails pressing into the plush of your thighs. His cock is already back hard, he has to stroke it and whines out as he laps you up, making you gasp.

He's slurping you then, head tilted just so the camera can see, smacking your clit gently, watching you jerk, pressing your thighs up higher and tilting the camera so it's higher, right over his head, looking at it and the reflection of your perfect cunt while he slips the tip of his tongue up. You're moaning at the sensations, twitching hips bringing your cunt more in his face.

Satoru can't stand it, how good you taste, he wondered if it was an illusion but no, you are the sweetest thing he's ever had. “You're so wet, god, take a look…” he's fingering you now, and you hear it while he watches it, glimmering from the soft ring light glowing on your perfect pussy. Making him so dumb he's just burying his face then, forgetting he's filming.

“Mnh!” You're trying not to call out his name, thighs still so high you can't see his face, to protect you from getting seen, until he adjusts it, spreading your thighs further, leaning up to look down at you under lidded eyes, chin coated in your slick. “Satoru…”

“You okay sweets?” His whisper touches you, his concern for you even during this, making sure you're okay. You nod and he exhales in relief, kissing you for a moment, knowing it's what you need, brushing your hair back, sighing as he looks down at you. “You're doing so good. Can you cum for me, baby?”

You nod again eagerly, and he’s dived back down, fingering you with two curled right in your cunt, hitting that spot that blinds you every time, his moans so filthy, guttural while he watches, angling his wrist and hitting something then, you feel so much pressure you panic, gasping, writhing under him.

“Oh my - ngh! Fuck!” You’re struggling to keep your voice a whisper, palming your mouth while you shatter.

“That’s it, right there, cum for me, lemme drink it up. Let everyone see how much you love my fucking tongue.” Pornstar Satoru was ridiculous to handle, hitting you with his fingers and the tip of his tongue on your clit, when the pressure releases, and your orgasm hits so hard you can’t help but scream, twitching as he pulls back in surprise. “Fuck, you’re squirting f’me?”

You have no clue what he means, you don’t see it as it starts pouring all over, making a mess, wet spot under you even as Satoru grabs you by the fat of your ass, licking up as much as he can. You’re a twitching, soaked little mess, your hands gripping his hair now, screams echoing in the room while he eases off you just a bit now, ready to fuck your slick, messy cunt.

He trembles as he pulls back and does one more shot, pressing a sweet kiss to your pussy before shutting off the camera, and leaning up, kissing you, so desperate, while your slick thighs rub together, and you feel the mess. He pulls up and takes a breath, flipping you then, making you gasp, handing you the camera while he kisses the backs of your shoulders, hands on your ass, spreading it wide.

“Watch it, sweetheart,” he whispers, kissing across your shoulder blades, brushing your hair to one side while you barely have the strength to press play, and that’s when you see it. “Look how perfect you are.”

Your pussy right on camera, and him eyeing it like he’s worshipping it, like you’re his fucking altar and his mouth is that offering. Your cunt starts throbbing while he works you, kissing every inch of your body as you fall more and more into the abyss of sin, of lust, of desire- of Satoru Gojo.

“You love it, don’t you baby?” His words are hot against your ear, while you watch him on the screen licking your cunt, watch your thighs tremble, all while he’s behind you, sinking his two fingers so deep in your quivering hole again. You arch your back, moaning now, it feels so good you can’t stand it, so erotic watching this video you two took, while he’s fucking you with his thick fingers.

“I do, but it’s insane… ah! Satoru…” He sighs now, taking his fingers out, pressing them into your mouth for you to suck, which you quickly obey, eyes fluttering shut, the image of his tongue fucking you reflecting in the darkness.

“Keep it for us, or share? It’s all up to you. I’ll never pressure you either way,” he’s soft then, turning your chin as he lays heavy weight over you, and you eye the phone now, hand shaking just a bit, to close it out or to share, he takes your hand, steadying it. “It’s fine to be how you are, you’re perfect, okay?”

“It’s fine to be how you are, Satoru Gojo. A… question, though.” He sighs, leaning close, while he keeps holding your hand, hovering just so.

“Mmhmm?”

“Would I be your favorite co-star?” Your teasing question makes him laugh at the ridiculous nature.

You’re the only one he can even get hard for.

“You’re the prettiest, yummiest, sweetest co star I could have,” his words are just a little broken, as he almost says more. That he hopes your date sucks with that Nanami guy, that he’s planning to show up at your work tomorrow to glare at that man, that he’s become fucking obsessed, but instead - “How could you think you’re not?”

“And we’re… still friends…” You ache for him to say - no, it’s more - but he nods, against your neck, pressing kisses against it. “Even if we fuck?”

God.

He’s dying.

“You think I wouldn’t be your friend anymore? I’m not the guy to get what he wants and go. I promise.” You nod then, smiling just a bit, and tap the share button then, surprising both of you.

“Holy fuck, I did that…” Your whisper is met with Satoru’s kisses now, as your video plays for all to see, your moans on camera mixing with the ones induced from his play, one arm wrapping your body as his cock presses insistently against your ass, hot and heavy.

“Stop me now, because I can’t think of anything but fucking your pretty pussy raw right now,” his desperate words and dilated eyes just serve to ruin you, when you arch your ass up. “Fuck, you sure?”

“I want you inside me, please,” he eagerly leans back, gripping his cock and lifting your thigh, pressing into your tight ring of muscles, almost cumming from the fucking tip. “Ah!”

“You’re so tight, relax I don’t want to hurt you, please.” Satoru whispers it as he grips your chin.

You nod, as he is slipping a little deeper from the back, the stretch burning so deliciously, you’re convulsing while the viewers are going wild over Satoru’s devoted pussy eating skills with his mysterious, faceless co-star. His silk hair brushes your cheek as he exhales heavy in your ear, whispering your name.

You eye the video, the comments, vision blurry, while he sinks his cock deeper, and he moans as he reads the comments to you, filling your cunt so full of his cock, inch by inch - and there are so many, each thrust deeper while you cling to his wrists, his arms wrapping you. He keeps reading them, even as he shoves in all the way, making you jerk and gasp.

“Perfect pussy, look at Satoru go, god she’s so wet for him, she’s cumming so much - is she squirting? Look at that, you’re a regular star, huh? F-fuck…”

“Mnh!” Your eyes roll back in your fucking skull now, lost in him, lost completely. So deeply unraveled under him you can’t remember what this is, that it’s a friend, that it was a scene, that you’re now the girl who did that, anonymous but to know it’s you on that screen with Satoru devouring you does something, fuck it does too much.

He’s murmuring more comments, and his huge cock is stretching your slick, tight heat beyond its means. “That’s it, you love it, huh? They all want to be in your place, or they want to lick you instead, but it’s me, isn’t it baby?” He shouldn’t be possessive, he tries to tell himself it over and over, but how can he not be, when he’s shoved in so deep, he feels the bulge of your tummy, groaning. “Feel me, sweetheart?”

You can’t speak, just nodding desperately, while the feed goes insane, watching your cunt squirt on Satoru’s face while he’s buried inside you, filling you to the hilt, stretching you out so good you forget to breathe. “Toru!”

He pauses at the nickname, your slurred words and pulsing cunt ending him, he could almost cum then and there and he has amazing stamina, but he has to hold back, wrapping a hand around your throat and leaning up on an elbow while you gush down his cock. Satoru kisses up your neck hungrily, eyeing your pussy on the video and then your face, your eyes almost black with pleasure.

“Only I can hit that spot, hmm?” His tip drags along your spongy spot now, and you’re twitching, nodding, so consumed as he surrounds you, breath against your neck, moans in your ear, hand squeezing your throat just so under your chin. His cock twitches as he shoves deeper, impossibly deeper, while you helplessly grip the blankets beneath you. “Answer me, like a good girl.”

“Y-yes.” Your whisper drives him insane, feral, the way your walls quiver around his cock is exquisite, that grip unreal, but more than anything it feels perfect.

“Made for this cock, aren’t you pretty?” The words fall out before he can stop them, and your eyes rolling back, drool spilling out of your mouth while your cunt is pulsing is his answer. “Perfect, fuck…”

“Mnh!” You can’t take it, his words urging you when he shoves his cock so deep, the tip bruising your cervix, making you scream as his guttural moan fills the room, his hand squeezing just enough pressure to make your orgasm blinding, white hot.

“Cumming all over me, so good, listening f’me, hmm?” You just nod weakly, gasping when he flips you to your back, lifting your thighs and shoving them wide, slapping the tip on your slick cunt and groaning. “Wanna watch me fill you up?”

You nervously nod, swallowing now, and he sees it, you’re overwhelmed, he leans down, kissing you, and you’re desperately clinging to his back, eagerly kissing him despite being damn near slack jawed. You exhale nervously, eyeing him is even more intimate, impossibly more, his plush lips still tasting like your honeyed arousal from earlier.

“If it’s too much, tell me, I want you comfortable.” It’s hard for him to speak, but he does, making sure to reassure you, kissing your forehead before he leans back.

“It’s intense, Satoru but… I want it.” He moans at that, sliding his cock back inside, sucking in a breath when you’re gripping him fucking tighter this time, slipping in slowly, inch by inch. “Ah! Satoru, so d-deep!”

“I am, huh? I can get deeper, baby.” You cry out when he shoves his cock in deep with a sharp thrust, and then pauses, eyeing that bulge in your stomach. “Look.”

“Look at… oh.” You’re heating up at the image, and he’s all about angles, he makes sure your eyes catch every bit of his slow thrusts, filling your tummy full of his enormous cock, too much to take, but your cunt is willing and eager, struggling to take his size.

“Fucking you so deep, see it? Your body is so small compared to my cock, pussy stretched too much, f-fuck… god look at you…” He’s losing it, he was trying to talk sexy to you, which comes naturally, but now he’s just obsessed with the image, thin white brows lowering over his eyes, while he slams inside you, your thighs trembling as they wrap his slutty waist. “Oh my god…”

“Satoru… ah!” He’s done, he’s fucking lost in you, in your eyes when he shoves your thighs up, gripping your face with his huge hands while he’s got you bent in half, slamming so hard you scream. “Too much!”

“I need all of you, fuck… can you take more?” His eyes are so bright blue they burn to look at, but you can’t stop yourself, nodding and cupping his face in return.

“Kiss me please.” He moans at that, slamming his lips down when he rocks his hips, cock filling you so deeply you scream into his mouth, hands slipping to his hair while he’s got his heavy weight over you.

“I can’t control it anymore, baby, if it’s too much just fucking hit me at this point,” he’s nonsensical, leaning up now, hands on the back of your thighs in a mating press, fucking you hard now, powerful strokes that take you the fuck out, cumming in moments with a few strokes, making him whimper.

That’s a sound you know he’s never made.

You may be delusional, but you’re sure you’ve only heard him whimper for you, you’ve never seen that look in his eyes on any video or stream, not when he’s staring right into your fucking soul and slamming his cock deep over and over. You’re barely able to cling to the earth, so much pleasure rushing through your body, you feel every vein and ridge of that huge cock as it fucks into you.

“Perfect, pussy is perfect, fucking knew it but god. God… fucking feel her,” he slams into you again, head falling back, giving you a view of his throat before he eyes you once more, shaking his head and slamming his cock harder. “Can she take it?”

You just nod, you’d take anything, the way it feels to be ruined by Satoru Gojo is far beyond his balls slapping your ass, his cock stretching your cunt, his hands bruising your fucking thighs, no it was more. You want to be filled by him, folded under him, you want every bit of it, losing yourself in him, in his bright blue eyes, in his filthy fucking words, in his cock slamming your cervix.

You were ruined, and you knew it.

You feel too much, far too much, when he’s leaned back, holding your thighs high and watching his cock pull out and enter, slowing and rubbing your abused clit. “F-fuck, cum one more time, I’m close… your cunt is so fucking perfect, shit… c’mon, like a good girl, there you go baby…”

It’s like that goddamn dream.

Word for word.

You cum harder than you have, when he shoves into the hilt, stuffing your slutty little hole, blinded and dizzy, hardly able to breathe, while he watches you shatter under him, so fucking beautiful he can’t take it. Your brows drawn together, that sweat making your skin glisten, your mouth open in the sluttiest O, he can hardly stand what the image does to him.

He knows it then, he’s fucking beyond destroyed, and terrified at that fact, at the power you’re oblivious to over him. He almost busts inside you, something he has never done - he doesn’t even go without condoms - the thoughts of filling your cunt full are far, far too tempting. He stops himself, cursing and holding his slick cock at the base while you’re spasming around him, back arching.

“Where do you want all this cum, sweetheart?” He manages to ask, you’re so fucked out you’re dizzy, blinking Satoru’s white hair and pretty face into view as he pulses inside you, just thickening and making you whimper.

“W-what… where… you want, I… mnh!” You’re still cumming, aftershocks rocking you, making your skin so sensitive when he eases your sore thighs down, parting them and pulling out finally, stroking himself as you catch your breath, watching him spurt thick white ropes all over your cunt. “Oh! Oh…”

“Fuck, fuck… god… oh my…” He’s moaning as he’s desperately jerking his slick cock, so much cum it seems impossible, since he just busted so much, and you watch him, enthralled as the hot sticky sperm is coating your cunt. “God, look at it, fucking look at us baby.”

He’s too much, he’s too much.

You thought him eating you out fucked you up mentally, what is he, his insane ass eyes bright as he trembles, strong muscles bunching and tensing, a work of fucking art pouring his cum on you. You’re stuck, at a loss for words, mouth opening and closing, brain not even functional as you look up at this man, knowing this isn’t just sex, it fucking couldn’t be.

It can’t be like this with someone.

You almost spill every feeling then and there, lost in him, in his desperation when he rests his head on yours, moaning against your lips, tip brushing your engorged clit and making you whine out. “God, your pussy is too perfect, it’s… you’re too perfect, feel too good, look too good…”

“Satoru, are you okay?” You whisper softly, he’s slurring his words, almost hard to understand in their hushed whispers in between his pants.

He can’t even answer, pulling back and looking at your pretty cunt, all abused from his cock and puffy, covered in his white ropes. “Can I have a picture? Please, just for me.”

“Y-you want one?” He laughs softly, breathless, nodding, and you heat up at it, looking down shyly. 

“Only you can be adorable with your pussy beat up and coated in cum, huh?”

“Oh god!” He can’t take it, how cute you are, the affection eating at him, as he takes a deep breath, leaning back. “Just one.”

“Fuck…” He takes the phone, eyeing the amount of comments and tips while your breasts heave, trying to catch your breath, sticky cum dripping across your folds when you shift your hips.

“What is it?” You ask softly, he shows you the number, and your eyes nearly bulge out. “Holy fuck!?”

“This is good even for me, shit. Pussy is made for porn.” You’re blushing harder, biting your lower lip when he angles the camera, taking several photos and exhaling at how pretty it looks. “God, look at you.”

“Are you talking to me or my pussy?” He grins then, so boyish and charming it’s as if he wasn’t just fucking you into a mating press and filming your cunt. “Also I said one!”

“Sorry. I’ll make it up.” He’s kissing your thighs then, lapping some of his own cum off your slit, you gasp at the sensation, his tongue on your sore, overstimulated pussy now. Your hands entangle in his hair as he groans. “Fucking taste us.”

“Satoru you’re in-insane and- mnh! Fuck!” You’re shaking when he laps more off of you, desperately lapping at every inch of your cunt now. “Satoru!”

“Gotta clean my pretty costar up, she’s only my costar you know, only one I’ve ever-” He pauses, stopping himself, when you eye him, breasts still gently moving up and down as you eye him.

“Only one you’ve… ngh! Satoru!”

“Taste us.” He’s lapped more of his cum and yours, murmuring for you to open, which you eagerly do, letting him spit his cum and yours in your throat. “Swallow, there you go, see it’s perfect, huh?”

You’re lost then, in the filthy string of words, when he’s back down cleaning you up with a tongue that’s lethal in its precision, rocking his cock on the bed, hard for the third time with you as he moans desperately against you. He’s latched onto your clit, sucking, while you can’t stop cumming, pushed past overstimulation, but not once do you tell him to stop.

You want it.

You need it.

In tears from how much you’ve cum, desperate for more, swapping his cum and yours mixing, against your tongues as he talks you through it, as you lose yourself, Jenna told you not to, she told you not to forget. You are trying to keep it separated, but how the fuck can you?

It felt worth losing yourself, for him, under him, him inside you - around you - taking over everything, while he’s back inside you, his lips murmuring desperate, dirty words into your sweet mouth. When you’re so fucked out you actually pass out blissfully in his arms, you can’t even remember the girl you were a few weeks ago, waking up just to be filled by him again from behind.

Being in his arms, you hope it’ll counteract the pain when he moves on, when he’s kissing you while fucking you from the back, sweet little nothings against your lips filling the room along with the squelching of his cock filling your cunt again. Every inch of your body kissed by him, licked by him, head to your fucking toes, shifting you to some other dimension as you drink each other in, exhausted and desperate.

You’ll think about that pain later, for now it’s all pleasure, aside from the ache in your heart for more, endlessly more.

The love on this story is so sweet, it's FAR from over. Please be patient as these are long chaps and I have other projects, if you're not on the tags you can subscribe to me on ao3 or turn on notifs <3 Can't wait to hear your thoughts

Taglist 1 - @rjreins @juicu @kalulakunundrum @gojoswaterbottle @aldebrana @simp-plague @wedojustbevibin @lucciferr0 @officialholyagua @privthemis @coffee-and-geto @homesickes @msniks @emi311 @mai-505 @gojoslovelylover @ren-ren23 @yihona-san06 @emochosoluvr @sylvermoon @bunheadusa @karvokr @starmapz @queenexplosonmurderr @musiclover2119 @saitamaswifey @reagan707 @midorissi @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @itsinherited @maisiefrancesca @gyarubunny @theonlyhonoredone @chosslut @simperisksksk @xlilycoco @howlsdarling @femaholicc @maymaymarch @miseryyouth-99 @swoozleee @zeunys @cryingdevil @leafynightmares @princess-bblgm @gojosconsort @insomnicshello @joonunivrs @myahfig4 @silviscosplay

[dreamersparacosm]

Girl we need a smut blurb for them , im talking wild sex . I’ll take anything I know they’re both freaked out

well, well, well. you put two overachievers in a bed and what’s going to happen? magic, that’s what. or maybe he’ll just use your vibrator as part of your scheduled stress relief. whatever.

the price of desire — epilogue blurb 3!

prompt ; in which stress relief takes on a whole new definition.

warnings ; sex toy usage, fingering, jungkook cums in his pants

There are worse problems to have, you tell yourself.

Ever since you and Jungkook officially started dating, things have gotten a little… out of hand (and by “out of hand,” you mean fucking each other senseless across multiple continents.)

Obviously it started in New York and Seoul. Then it was Paris. You two dabbled in exhibitionism during a trip to Bali. Now it’s whatever remote, paparazzi-proof destinations your travel agent nervously books for you at 2 in the morning.

Hotels, apartments, rental cars, bathrooms you’re pretty sure were not designed to withstand the kind of behavior you’re inflicting on them. At this point, it’s becoming a global crisis. International security agencies may want to get involved.

It’s getting so frequent, so mind-numbingly good, that you’re starting to worry about yourself a little. Like, is it normal to see god every weekday?

Unclear.

But it is nice, really nice, to relieve that stress that weighs on you after a workday. (And god knows you have plenty of that to go around.)

Jungkook is, if nothing else, very committed to the cause. He takes care of you painfully well, as if it’s his full-time job and the only acceptable performance review is your legs shaking too hard to stand.

Case in point: you’re currently spread out across your bed in New York, lips swollen from a makeout, hair damp from the bath he ran for you, and he’s kneeling between your legs, big palms dragging slow strokes up and down your thighs.

It's a perfect Wednesday night, all safe and soft and steady until he drops his suggestion into the quiet.

“Let me use the vibrator on you, baby.”

Your brain, already half-melted from the hour-long slow burn he’s been subjecting you to, scrambles for purchase.

You are not equipped for this on a Wednesday night. Especially not after a 14 hour workday, 2 back-to-back global strategy calls, and a last minute crisis involving a Calvin Klein store opening in Shanghai.

You open your mouth to respond, yet nothing makes its way out.

Jungkook smiles at you with amusement and reaches over to the nightstand like it’s the most casual thing in the world. As if he didn’t casually drop a bomb into the atmosphere of your previously scheduled stress-relief session.

With bulging eyes, you observe as he pulls open the drawer, rummages around for a second, and then holds up your light purple vibrator in his hands.

The device is small and sleek, manages to look mockingly innocent resting in his palm.

You stare at it, then at him, mouth working like a fish suddenly introduced to the concept of air.

"I—" You stutter eloquently.

He responds with that signature grin, the one that makes you want to throw a pillow at his face and climb him like a tree. "Come on, baby," he coaxes, "You said you were stressed. Think of this as... advanced relaxation techniques."

You narrow your eyes suspiciously. "This wasn't exactly what I meant by 'stress relief.'"

"What's the worst that could happen?" he asks innocently, setting the vibrator down beside you before leaning close to press a kiss against your inner knee. "You enjoy yourself too much?"

"The audacity," You roll your eyes, trying and failing to suppress the shiver his touch sends up your spine.

"It’s like.. a scientific experiment," he continues, trailing featherlight kisses up your thigh. "Testing the effects of a vibrator on stress."

"Did you just turn my vibrator into a science fair project?"

His laugh rumbles against your skin. "I'm innovative like that. Always thinking about my subject’s satisfaction."

"You’re not selling it," You sigh but there's no heat behind it.

"I'm persistent," he corrects, looking up at you with darkened eyes. "And also extremely dedicated to your wellbeing. Just say yes."

You can’t look at him. With his mess of black hair falling over his forehead, with his eyes displaying a glint of mischief and the stupid Calvin Klein white t-shirt that drives you crazy. He’s so fucking hot, and it brings you to the brink of temporary insanity. That’s how you got in this mess in the first place.

What you need to be doing is saying no. Set some kind of a boundary. Be a strong, independent woman who does not immediately fold at the suggestion of midweek sex toy experimentation.

You do none of those things. Rather, you sigh and flop back against the pillows, one arm flung dramatically over your eyes.

“Fine,” you mutter like he’s inconveniencing you. “Whatever. Just don’t break my toy.”

You hear him laugh, a rich velvety rumble that vibrates through you while the mattress dips beneath his weight as he repositions himself closer to your core.

Before you even take your next breath, he’s kissing up your thighs, hands stroking the backs of your knees, your calves, your hips.

The vibrator hums to life; it’s soft at first, a low sound and your stomach flips violently.

Curiosity compels you to emerge from behind your self-imposed blindfold just in time to witness his gaze fixed upon you. He is a hungry man, you’ll give him that much.

Which leads you to your next thought: you’re not even sure why you bothered putting on underwear after the bath. A small, defeated part of you wants to blame some lingering sense of dignity, some naive attempt at not being completely easy just because your boyfriend washed your hair like a Disney prince and kissed your shoulder after.

Whatever weak attempt at decency you made is long gone the second Jungkook hooks his fingers into the waistband of your panties and starts dragging them down. Thumbs brushing over the dip of your hips like he’s memorizing every line, every secret part of you he already owns.

The cotton peels away from your thighs, and the cool air hits your core, makes you shiver. He works them down over your knees, then your ankles, tossing them somewhere behind him without a second thought.

You’re already squirming a little, hips shifting against the mattress, thighs clenching reflexively, but he just chuckles under his breath before reaching for the hem of your oversized T-shirt. (Technically his T-shirt. Technically yours now. He stopped fighting that battle months ago.)

Slowly, he pushes it up, bunching it around your waist, exposing the soft skin of your belly, the slick glistening between your legs that you’re trying very hard not to feel embarrassed about.

A single finger gets dragged between your folds, dipping into the mess he’s barely even touched you to create, and you can’t help the broken little gasp that escapes your mouth. “Oh—“

Jungkook lifts his hand and holds it up between you. Your slick clings to his finger. Shining in the soft light your lamp provides.

The bastard. How dare he provide proof of your demise.

He raises a brow smugly. “Already this wet, baby?” He teases.

You glare at him, or at least try, but it’s hard to summon the proper outrage when your body is practically vibrating with need.

“Shut the fuck up,” You grumble.

He laughs and settles himself back between your thighs. The toy hums softly beside you, still on the lowest setting and when he picks it up again, your stomach nearly exits your body.

He strokes the inside of your thigh with his free hand, “Ready?” He asks. Jungkook’s always been sure to consent; you do know he’s genuinely asking for permission.

You nod, frantic, willing to sell your soul if he would just please, please touch you already.

Oh god.

Oh fuck.

For the love of everything holy.

You jolt forward violently the second the vibrator touches your clit. Even on the lowest setting it’s too much, white-hot pleasure snapping up your spine and exploding behind your eyes.

“Fuck—” You gasp, whole body twitching, hands scrambling for something to hold onto.

A string of curse words falls out of your mouth before you can stop them, completely and deliriously out of your control.

Jungkook smiles, presses his palm flat against your thigh to pin you down. “You’re so sensitive tonight,” He notes, somewhat amused.

You might cry. God damn him for being so perfect to you that he’s holding a vibrator to you and not making comments about how “he could do it better.”

You settle for grabbing a fistful of the bedsheets and moaning helplessly when he adjusts the angle slightly, nudging the vibrator a little higher until your hips are jerking against the mattress.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, thumb rubbing slow circles into your thigh. “Let me take care of you.”

Alright, you’re not afraid to admit — maybe you didn’t care much for his definition of stress relief before.

But now? Now you need it more than anything.

You’re a mess; panting, moaning, hips twitching up and it’s still on the lowest setting.

You risk a glance down your body, and the sight nearly undoes you. Jungkook is watching you intensely, brows drawn, lip ring caught between his teeth, arms flexing where he’s bracing you open.

The look on his face alone could make you finish.

“Please,” you gasp. “M-More.”

He nods once, like he’s been waiting for you to ask. “Yeah, baby?” he’s clearly out of breath, thumb brushing over your thigh in grounding circles. “I got you.”

Jungkook clicks the vibrator up to the medium setting, and the second the stronger vibration hits your clit, your back arches clean off the bed, a cry ripping from your throat. There’s a hum that comes from low in his throat while he presses a kiss to your inner thigh.

“You’re so good for me,” He says against your skin. “So desperate already. Bet you could cum just like this, couldn’t you? Just from how good it feels?”

His tattooed fingers squeeze your flesh harder, holding you open, keeping you steady, and the way he’s looking at you makes you want to sob, truthfully.

Jungkook drags the vibrator in slow circles over your clit, keeping you teetering right on the edge before mercifully setting it down beside you. You barely have time to breathe before he’s spitting into his hand and sliding two fingers between your thighs.

The second he pushes them inside your entrance, you buck violently, a whine tearing out of your mouth. “F-fuck—”

You feel impossibly full already, walls clenching around the stretch, the slick sounds embarrassingly loud in the otherwise silent room.

Jungkook groans mostly to himself, head dropping forward to watch where he’s sinking into you.

“God, baby,” he exhales, curling his fingers in that way that makes your toes curl too. “You’re so fucking wet.“

You moan helplessly. Obviously, the man must be trying to kill you. A death wish of sorts. He works his fingers inside you, dragging them along that sweet spot that has you keening into the mattress before reaching over with his free hand to flick the vibratot back on.

He sets it to the highest setting — and holy mother — you nearly catapult off the bed. The intense, overwhelming buzz against your clit paired with the slow pump of his fingers inside you is absolutely lethal.

You choke on some form of a gasp, thighs jerking. All thoughts of work, stress, the world outside this room — gone. Obliterated.

Jungkook, flushed and sweaty, arm veins flexing with every stroke of his fingers, can’t take his eyes off the mess you’re making on your sheets beneath you.

Your thighs are trembling violently now, little spasms you can’t control. You try — god, you want it noted you do try — to keep your hips still, to hold off a little longer.

But the man is evidently on a mission. Fingers fucking into you deep and steady, the vibrator merciless against your clit, voice rougher than normal: “Cum for me, baby. I wanna see it. Wanna feel you cum all over my fingers. Please.”

You’re way past the point of rational thought. Spinning out. Every nerve ending burning hot under your skin.

“Fuck—” you sob. “Kook— I’m gonna— oh fuck, fuckfuck—”

Neither of you get to find out what you’re “gonna” before the orgasm tears through you viscerally, a full-body convulsion that has you crying out and grabbing onto his wrist.

Your toes curl involuntarily against the sheets while your thighs close around his head, stomach muscles clenching before your whole body lets itself fall into the pleasure.

For one disorienting moment, your vision actually blurs at the edges — a genuine blackout that some doctor could probably explain but you're certainly in no condition to contemplate — while somewhere in the distance you hear yourself gasping his name in a way that makes you grateful these walls are soundproof.

You’re panting when it finally ebbs, chest heaving, pussy clenching desperately around his fingers. Jungkook presses a kiss to your thigh again, slowly eases his fingers out and shuts off the vibrator that's become both your nemesis and savior in the span of minutes.

There’s a quiet that feels almost startling compared to your thundering heartbeat.

You’re floating somewhere, the bed seeming to perform a gentle carousel spin around you when he grabs your face gently with both hands and kisses you. You kiss him back automatically, pulling him closer by the front of his shirt.

Through the haze, you murmur against his mouth, “Take your sweatpants off. Wanna fuck you.”

He responds with a groan, pressing his forehead against yours. Insistently, you tug at the waistband, whining a little when he resists.

“Come on,” you mumble, still half-drunk off your orgasm. “I need you.”

He makes a choked sound and pulls back to look you in the eye. His body moves to lean against your headboard, and you scooch over to kiss down his neck while he tries to come up with whatever excuse he can.

And then comes the confession, tripping awkwardly from his lips. “I… uh…”

Your eyes narrow into spiteful little slits, pulling away from him.

He winces, a full-body cringe that would be adorable under other circumstances but currently only amplifies your confusion.

“I… I came already,” He confesses, so low you almost don’t catch it.

Jeon Jungkook? The Jeon Jungkook… came in his boxers like a teenage virgin.. from using your vibrator against you?

You blink repeatedly, brain attempting to process this unexpected plot twist.

“What?” You say dumbfounded.

He covers his face with one large hand in the universal gesture of mortification, ears betraying him by flushing a deep crimson even in the room's low light.

“You— you… came? Just from—?”

Your boyfriend groans, clearly exploring the possibility of spontaneous human combustion as a merciful escape route.

“You looked so good,” he murmurs into his palm. “I couldn’t— fuck, I tried to hold it—”

You stare at him for another second. Then, completely against your will, you burst out laughing. It spills out in waves that are equal parts exhaustion, affection, and perhaps a whisper of mockery, but your attempts to suppress it prove to be futile.

Jungkook glares at you weakly through his fingers.

“You’re an idiot,” you giggle, “My idiot.”

He grumbles something unintelligible while pulling you firmly against his chest, a transparent attempt to muffle your laughter and hide his reddening face but your giggles persist. At some point, you do take the opportunity he presents to nestle your face into the warm crook of his neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne, a chuckle exiting once every few minutes.

All things considered?

Not a bad way to spend a Wednesday night. Not bad at all.

masterlist + ask

[olderthannetfic]

Hey, so I know this is probably something that not many can relate, but I wanted to ask here anyways:

How do you guys do to not feel alone or lonely in fandoms? I'm not mostly active in a small one and almost all of us know each other, but yet seems like I'm an outcast. When I hear that most of the members are DMing one another or creating little creative groups and yet somehow no one tries to dm me and brainstorm ideas... or when some of them have called me their friends yet I try to keep contat and the friendship going and it feels like I'm just being pushy or stupid for trying.

Is funny, because in a way it was some of my fics that rebuilt the community around this fandom, and still it feels like I'm here to churn out fics and that's it. All the fandom interaction I get is minimal and seems like a chore to the others. I haven't felt this alone in fandom communities in the past.

Maybe it's how modern fandom is and I'm being nostalgic for the fandom experience of a decade ago, or maybe it's my brain being stupid. But yeah, just, what do you guys do if you ever feel lonely in fandom spaces? Could use the help. Also, love the blog. Have a nice day :)

--

Okay, first, one hundred percent, your brain is being stupid. I'm having a bad brain day today myself. There could also be some other stuff going on, but let's be real: your brain is being stupid. Not feeling lonely is at least half about general mental health management.

I don't think fandom is necessarily always lonely now. I do find that I've done a bad job of cultivating close friendships lately. I'm trying to finish up some projects, and my kid is entering a phase where it's hard to go to events. I think it's very easy to not have enough energy to make social things happen. It's also easy to not remember how much effort one put in in the past or to not have noticed at the time since one was in a more energetic, excited phase or happened to be in some situation where one ran into potential friends without trying (school or the like).

Now, it sounds like you're already putting in some work trying to connect with people. That's good. That's a necessary, though not always sufficient, step. It's hard to tell from the outside whether other people find it a chore. I'd guess that's more your brain sabotaging you than reality.

I think there's a strong possibility that these DMs you aren't privy to are less awesome than you think. People tend to assume everyone around them is doing better—better than those other people actually are and better than themselves. They seem okay on the surface! They must have their shit together, unlike me! (Spoiler: they probably don't.)

It's certainly possible that you're great at fic but much less good at conversation. If the things you want to chat about just don't mesh well with these other people's style, a DM conversation will grind to a halt. I can give the usual advice about being genuinely interested in others and remembering to ask about them, but it's totally possible there's just a natural mismatch that can't be fixed. It's also possible they all hang out on some discord together that sparks the DM conversations, but you don't like discord and thus aren't there when the conversations break off like that. Substitute twitter or zoom or whatever other divisive format as applicable.

I suppose the times I've really had a good connection discussing meta thoughts on some character or canon have been when I had a beta or someone I was brainstorming with. When you post fics, perhaps you could add a note that you're looking for someone like that, or you could offer to beta for others.

[nabi-unveiled]

I've struggled with what to write about Heesu in Class 2.

Opinions have been polarized, and I know that whatever I write isn't going to resonate with at least half of the people that I follow and respect. It helped that I wasn't going into this blind. I knew it wasn't a typical BL. I had read a LOT of commentary in the past couple of weeks.

Many people who wanted the source material didn't get what they wanted/needed. I can understand that. While I typically like it when adaptations twist and build on source material, I have had the experience where I was incredibly disappointed in an adaptation. I Hear the Sunspot -> I'm talking to you. When you hold something near and dear to your heart, it hurts when you don't recognize it anymore. Especially if the adaptation removed the things that you valued and loved.

But I hadn't read the source material on this one so that wasn't a factor for me. I do plan to read it now that I've watched the show. I will probably keep the two as completely different entities in my brain. Based on people's reactions, that feels like the best move forward.

Many people who DIDN'T read the source material also didn't get what they wanted/needed. They might view it as homophobic or disrespectful of serious issues. Or it may never have connected with them emotionally. But my world is VERY homophobic so this felt very real to me. It connected emotionally and it hit HARD...at least in certain scenes.

My feelings are too raw to really discuss the show analytically. I'll talk pacing, visuals, astronomy metaphors and all that once I finish up my astronomy project for work. I'll try to approach it objectively when I write up the analysis of individual episodes. There is a lot to dive into on that score - some positive, some negative, some neutral.

However, right now, in this moment? I can't even think about how I would "rate" this show. I'm too busy having big feels after the finale. Because while it may not have been a "BL" by many people's standards, it was definitely queer. And that counts for something. I'm no high schooler - I turn forty in a little over a week - but it scraped my open wounds and made them bleed. Honestly, episode 11 of Your Sky did that to me too. I just kept my posts private on that one, because this feels like serving myself up for judgment. I might regret this post.

I tried during my two hour walk last night to figure out what I could say. Every take I tried got personal fast. I can't separate it. And in the end, I've decided to not even try.

So is this post meta analysis? No.

Is this post a critique or analytical evaluation of the show? No.

Is this an endorsement of the show? No.

Heck. Half of this post probably isn't about the show at all.

It feels weird to say since many people around me call me a robot or unfeeling, but this post is pure emotion for me. It's probably oversharing. Just like whether a show is popular or not, I don't have a gauge for that. I'm the person that will spend two weeks talking to almost no one outside of my children/husband, but then spend three hours discussing all things garlic with some random person I never met previously. That's Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo's fault. I don't really have an in between mode. I'm silent, or I don't shut up.

Warning: This got long. No surprise there. Also, in case it is a trigger for you, religion and sexuality are intertwined throughout this post and it touches on themes of coming out.

Anonymous Inbox Warning: If you read this post and come into my inbox to worry about my "mental health" or "recommend therapy" or anything similar, I'm just going to delete it. Therapy is great. I'm aware. I highly recommend and advocate for it. That is not the point here.

But after watching Heesu, here are the things stuck in my brain.

I envied Heesu and Seungwon.

Was it hard for them? Yes. Were they struggling due to things that are unfair and that I wish weren't true of society? Yes. Will they continue to struggle? Unfortunately, yes. But they're figuring themselves out and are coming to terms with their identity in high school. There's something to be said for that.

Thanks to neurodivergence and my conservative, religious upbringing, I didn't figure myself out until I was already married and had my first child. Both in terms of sexuality and my personal religious beliefs, I was in my mid to late 20s before I figured things out.

Because for many, many years I just thought I was evil and morally bankrupt. After all, I really enjoyed Cruel Intentions and I really really thought it would be a whole lot of fun to make out with Watts in the garage (Some Kind of Wonderful). @dribs-and-drabbles I loved that they were one of your ships. But I could never ship it. Keith didn't deserve her. She was mine.

But this was a problem, because I was taught that sex was the root of all evil. Even heterosexual sex. And to have such perverse desires meant something was morally and drastically wrong with you. Stupid purity culture swamp.

I decided that if I tried hard enough and studied enough, that I'd figure out how to fix my broken brain. After all, there were ways to overcome my broken hearing. There were ways to overcome my broken empathy meter. There were ways to overcome my attention issues and the chaos of my brain. Surely, there was a fix for that part of me that really liked thinking about the Olsen twins and Taylor Hanson too.

I'm fine with being called "stubborn", "argumentative", "weird", "scary" and the dozens of other not quite positive adjectives I hear about myself. I mean this with full sincerity -> it doesn't bother me. I get called plenty of positive things too. And one man's "stubborn", is another person's "independent". But I didn't want to be evil. So I tried. I really did.

It took me a long time to accept that I wasn't actually broken or morally bankrupt. It took me a long time to figure out the problem was as @babyangelsky put it that desire was considered a swamp to begin with. I'm still hoping my person accepts that one day too.

So yes, I'm incredibly happy for Heesu and Seungwon that they figured all of that out in high school. I hope this show, BLs in general and changes in society as a whole help teenagers get there much faster than me. I'm sure a smartphone or internet resources like we have today would've helped.

I felt relieved when Heesu figured out that there was someone in his world who wouldn't judge him.

Even as I deconstructed religiously and embraced my sexuality, I never worried about my (younger) brother's reaction. I always knew he'd be in my corner. He was a musical theater major. He's kissed men as part of his shows (our family doesn't know that), and he had already deconstructed (they also don't know that). He figured things out much faster than me. He listens to me talk about BLs and all of my fun dilemmas with them. We have never directly talked about my (or his) sexuality though. Sex is not something easily discussed in our family. Plus, we're still siblings. I really don't want to think of him in that way.

But I know he has my back. And that has meant everything over the years.

However, my brother lives 5 hours away. I get to talk to him only a couple of times a month (if that). He's not the people that surround me on the daily. And the people that surround me? They WILL judge. Strike that. They DO judge - everyone and everything. Openly and loudly. I live in a very close knit, very conservative, very religious family and community. It wasn't my intention to stay, but words left unsaid mean I married someone who talks a lot about traveling and seeing the world but never intended to see it.

And nine days out of ten, that's okay. I love our home that he built with his own hands, our hikes through the woods, our gaming sessions, and our "fun" times too 😉. But that tenth day when I take a break from work, stop doing the laundry or packing the kids' lunchboxes and really think about everything? It's rough.

For a very long time, I kept all of my thoughts on religion and sexuality completely secret while being swallowed alive by my black hole. I tried to convince myself that it didn't matter. But when I found that one person in my daily circle who I realized would accept me? It was a miracle. It changed everything. I eventually found a few. I'm forever grateful for those former coworkers.

It's insane how much lighter it feels when you remove the load by "just one person", and how much strength you gain when you realize that you are not really alone in your thinking. In funny things (to me), they weren't surprised. "I thought that was a given. It's pretty obvious."

Over the years, the Tumblr community has been another light for me. Even when I was lurking. Just knowing that there were people out there who'd have no problem with my kinky thoughts went a very long way. So that scene for Heesu, when he realized Seungwon wouldn't judge him - I felt it in my bones.

The tennis court scene in the finale with Chan Young/Heesu pains me...for both of them.

And I'm still standing on it.

I can't judge this scene objectively within the narrative. It got too personal so most of what I say about this scene will have very little to do with Heesu/Chan Young's actual relationship. Again, this isn't meta. This is emotion.

I had a strong negative reaction to Chan Young in episode 1. This was followed by a humorous bit of time with @lurkingshan when my brother pointed out that he was a lot like my husband all the way down to him being a competitive tennis player in high school. I didn't expect just HOW far that analogy might go though.

Because just like Heesu, I started by coming clean with my Chan Young. Difference being that my Chan Young is my friend, lover, and other half.

So this line...

I've heard it. I took YEARS to come completely clean precisely because I knew it was going to hurt him so very deeply. I tried to soften the blow. I tried to lead up to it in small steps. But it didn't help.

Side note: @my-rose-tinted-glasses By our standards for Min Jun from Business as Usual, this might make me the bad guy. It's probably why I am trying so hard to forgive him. I haven't got there with him yet. Ghosting feels different to me. Min Jun essentially left the court.

This line...

I've heard it too. It was wrapped in language about moral corruption and rebelling against religious rules just because I disagreed with them. But the gist was the same. Choosing myself is being selfish. I've just decided I'm okay with that. That I'm worth being selfish about. If I have to be my own biggest fan, so be it.

But this one...

It's the reason that I can't analyze this scene objectively (yet). Because it's true. I destroyed my husband's whole world and vision of our life together by my confession. In gaming terms, it was a headshot. In the show, Chan Young now has to reframe everything that he thought was a part of their relationship and decide where to go from here. It's not an easy task.

When I liveblogged Let Free the Curse, I said I wasn't going to touch Juyeong's cross necklace and how he removed it to be with Dohoe. That I couldn't deal with it. This is why. As @respectthepetty pointed out in their Let Free the Curse commentary, that cross is heavy for my Juyeong and it's not a fun place for me. I've put the person I love in a place where they have to choose every single day whether to put on that necklace that they VALUE and BELIEVE in or choose to embrace me, the person they love, who is also the sinner on the road to hell. It's tearing them apart and robbing them of their joy. And while I'm no longer being sucked into my personal black hole, I now get a courtside seat to all of their pain. I created a rift in their universe.

So while many people are understandably upset that Heesu is apologizing in this scene.

I didn't see it as apologizing for being queer.

I saw it as apologizing for hurting the person they love and care about. For being a source of pain. And yes, there IS a difference.

Because yes, I struggled with my identity for years. But I'm not sorry that I now understand myself, and I'm not going to trap myself in a glass room. I will not apologize for being myself. However, on that 10th day, when everything gets a bit too real for us both, I get to hear the tears at night from my person. And I am really sorry that I'm the cause of them. I really wish I wasn't.

So I'll forgive him if he hits a tennis ball at me from time to time. I'll dodge most of them. The ones that connect WILL hurt. But he's hurting too, and it's going to take time for him to put that racquet down.

We've been on this court for a very long time as he decides what to do about that cross necklace. But it took me a long time to put us on the court in the first place.

I'm really hoping we get here one day.

For both of our sakes. I really hope we do. But we may not.

For now, I'm just glad that we're both refusing to leave the court on that tenth day. Because the other nine days are still a blast.

I'll try to watch the scene with the actual narrative in mind next time.

It broke my heart when Seungwon's mom asked him what she should do.

It WRECKED me like no other scene if I'm being honest. Even worse than the tennis court scene.

Why? Because I don't want to hurt my kids. I don't want to end up on my bad mothers list. I'm trying to figure it all out, but it's tricky. I had a similar conversation to this one with my two older children just a few weeks ago. Unlike the tennis court, this is relatively new territory for me. They're just now getting old enough to understand. For context, I'm not really "out" by most people's standards within the larger community. I'd like my Chan Young to stop hitting balls at me before I move forward in that regard. I'd really like to have him by my side if I take on our community and the rest of our families. So for now I wait as he ponders what he's supposed to do.

But I haven't kept my thoughts on things or my reality from my kids in the meantime. They know my beliefs and where I stand. They are even aware that I blog and watch BL. They laughed at me quite a bit during the emoji tag game as I tried to figure out the coffin in @dramalove247 's set. They thought it meant vampire by the way.

Six days out of seven, it doesn't really impact them much at all. But on that seventh day, they're getting very mixed messages from the adults in their life. The one that says all the things we grew up with. And the one (me) that constantly says choose kindness, choose people, choose yourself, screw purity, screw normal, screw the rules.

The mixed messages will impact them. It does confuse them. And as much as I'd like to, I can't shelter them from that without lying about who I am and what I believe. But I also can't protect them from all of the ugliness in the world.

So when my braveheart that always speaks his mind asked a few weeks ago if I ever thought about just telling everyone. I responded very similarly to Seungwon's mom here. "I can do that. Do you really want me to? Just think about what would happen." It took him all of about 15 seconds. "It would be bad. Real bad. Yeah, don't do that."

So I'll stay silent and evade...for now. I'll stop when their answer changes or if, like Seungwon, they or another kid in the community needs me to flip the table for them so they can proudly embrace their own identity. Their needs are my priority when it comes to the larger community.

In the meantime, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure they feel loved and supported for who they are. We watched Star Trek during our family movie night the other month, and when we got to this scene...

my oldest laughed. "Mom. That sounds like something you would say."

That feels like a win in my book.

And if Heesu in Class 2 makes even one queer kid have hope that they'll be accepted or gives them the courage to step into the light in a world that's not a BL bubble, then that's a win in my book too.

No matter where I end up rating it once I can approach it more objectively.

[bellascarousel]

I write in Scrivener. Each book or long fic gets its own project. (One-shots could be in one of my several "random one-shots" projects, by themselves, or grouped by event in the case of the Kate and Anthony Weeks stories.) Books then get a document per scene within the project, fanfics are simply split into chapters. All of that is done within the "manuscript" folder in the Scrivener projects. Then there's the "research" folder, which is where planning notes go. I usually end up with a subfolder of deleted scenes. And fanfics inevitably end up having a subfolder of future scenes

Each project is as close to organized as my ADHD brain gets. The folder all of the projects are in? Not so much.

hello writers.

[redux-iterum]

how does one come up with a plot. im worldbuilding and character building but im struggling to make an actual plot

the only thing i got are themes of the fear of death and religious trauma :shrug:

This may be a pointless ramble, bear with me.

There are a couple different ways that people develop stories. I've heard some folks like to decide on a message they want to send and build the plot, characters and world around that (environmental opinions, questions about how handle grief healthily, etc). Others take a setting they've developed and make a plotline out of the natural issues that come up from that setting (severe class divide, elements of nature going out of control, etc). There's also people (like me) who start with one of the three factors of a story (plot, characters, worldbuilding) and sort of build them at the same time as each other, so they're woven together.

But for actual ideas...I can't really speak to your sort of creative mind, because I don't know how your brain functions, but I'll describe how my stories come to me. Hopefully it'll help you.

My favored path to a story, setting, or character is inspiration. I'll see something I really like that speaks to me (or is just plain fucking cool) and I'll take it and develop how I want to do it my way.

For example, I really love the concepts described in Downtrodden (which you all should look at, it’s so sick): small animals in a world with beasts much larger and more dangerous than them, having to rely on their own cunning and abilities to survive, complete with an interesting culture and unique interpretations of other animals for different races. So I took that and ended up making multiple settings with my own personal spin on them - one with bipedal cats as the dominant race but every animal, including their livestock, is still the same size as in our world; one in a book I’m working on now with regular prey animals in a redwood forest; and one with unicorn-people who have to destroy corpses so they don’t automatically come back as shambling zombies thanks to the earth’s desire to negate death. The materials and coats of paint are entirely different, but the core inspiration is still there. I just saw something I liked and said, “Now, how would I do it?” In the process of molding it to my liking, it changed enough to not be just a repeat of something someone else did better.

The same is to be said for story ideas. While it is just a fix-it fic, for Iteurm, Lynx and I saw Warriors as it is, used the plot as a baseline, and ended up coming up with things that are a far cry from canon (which you’ve seen in the worldbuilding and will be seeing a lot more of in the third arc’s plotline). One original project, Seeker, was inspired by Moonstuck, Prequel and all of MSPaintAdventures – I liked the idea of interacting with player commands, and worked that into the story as a major plot point. In every instance, I wanted to play with a concept someone else did, and it became its own unique thing by virtue of being done by a different person with different opinions, ideas and desires. It can follow beats or slither the same general pathway of a movie I watched (or whatever), but it’s still its own thing, and you didn’t have to claw at your brain trying to figure out something “new” and “original” (which is the most blatant lie artists tell themselves – there is nothing new under the sun, and trying to go so different to everyone else will just fuck you over).

The main key for this method is that you are saying it with your voice and your interpretations of the world around you. A lot of people just blatantly copy something someone else did without thinking about why they were so inspired, and what specific themes and concepts lit a fire in them. Taking from multiple stories helps with this, because in order to make them fit together, you HAVE to say it your way.

I recommend watching this section of C-Puff’s video about My Adventures With Superman, because she says a lot of this way better than I did, and it’s a good place to start thinking about stories in general.

I have no idea how helpful this will be, but it’s about the best I could do. Feel free to send something in if this failed to answer anything.

[atlas-ghoul-account]

Home Safe.

Warnings: swiss leaves, discussions of ocd, mentionings of touching wood, talk of food, food anxiety (whether it is safe to eat, intrusive thoughts surrounding food), intrusive thoughts about safety of others, hand washing, dry skin because of hand washing (idk i'm just saying everything just in case)

Notes: So this is a bit more of ocd phantom, credit of ocd phantom still lies with @littlemoon-beam lol, I just borrowed it to project some of the stuff I do. That being said, whilst this is my experience of ocd traits/tendencies, if you see anything that isn't quite written write please reach out!

Also also: I can't remember who said it, but I've borrowed the headcanon that Swiss goes back to the ministry to help Aether in the infirmary.

Phantom's ocd gets worse now that Swiss is gone. Now that he's no longer touring, Phantom can no longer make sure he's okay, he can't check on him. He usually knows he's okay, he can just look over and check. And there Swiss would be, looking at him like he was insane as the young quintessence ghoul pokes his head into his bunk to stare at him for a second before leaving. But now he can't do that, because Swiss has gone back to the ministry.

And Phantom knows he can't phone him every time he gets an intrusive thought about him. He knows that, but he wants to. Because then he knows he's safe. And he just wants to know that Swiss is safe.

The compulsions don't take long to start creeping in.

After the Birmingham ritual, when Swiss announces that Aether needs him in the infirmary, Phantom freezes. This can't be real, it can't because Swiss is his lifeline. He's the only thing that keeps him from spiralling out of control, the only sense of normalcy that he can latch onto whilst on tour.

They don't have long to say goodbye, because it isn't really a goodbye after all, but a see you later. Although, that doesn't mean it hurts any less. And almost everyone else has known Swiss longer than him, so Phantom thinks they deserve spending longer with him. So he holds back, no matter how much it hurts. It makes sense to Phantom at least, he probably didn't matter as much to Swiss as the others he had known for years.

"See you later, Ant," Swiss whispers, "Call me anytime." Phantom gives a small nod.

"See you later," He whispers, not able to stop himself from thinking that perhaps he should be going to help at the infirmary instead. He was a quintessence ghoul after all. A small part of his brain told him that actually, Swiss' quintessence, whilst not his main element, was stronger than his. That Phantom wasn't good enough with his quintessence to help.

That night, when he's alone in his bunk, listening to the world go past, his skin crawls. He can't sleep, too scared that if he does something might happen to Swiss. Or he wakes up and the other ghouls are gone too. Or Perpetua, human's are rather fragile after all.

'He won't make it home safe unless you touch wood.' His mind calls out to him. Phantom knows it's irrational, he knows. But why take that risk? Why risk Swiss? He doesn't have to question it before he's tapping wood in his sequence.

Three times, which he repeats another three times. Before repeating it one final time.

Although, it does little to resolve the anxiety, if he's being honest. Instead, he slides out of his bunk, creeping across the bus to Swiss' bunk. He slides in, pulling the curtain closed behind him. It was the closest thing he could get to Swiss. It would have to do.

The rest of the ghouls notice small differences in the coming days. The young quint ghoul looking unsure before doing certain things - things he hadn't questioned in a long time.

Hand washing became more frequent, worried that the germs on his hands would make the other ghouls, or Papa ill. Then they'd have to go back to the ministry, and that would be another friend he'd had to tour without. He didn't think he could do that. Naturally, it didn't take long for his hands to dry out, for his knuckles to start splitting. It made playing harder, more painful. But he couldn't stop himself from washing them, he couldn't risk them like that. Besides, the split skin didn't hurt too much.

The safety of food start cause anxiety in his chest. It wasn't that he didn't trust the other ghouls, they cooked for him all the time. But with the spike in anxiety and the small spiral downwards, he was finding it more and more difficult to ignore the doubt. What if a fly landed on it? What if they didn't wash their hands properly? Can food be left out of the fridge for that long? This is definitely cooked, right? Does this look pink?

The doubts were endless. He tried to ignore them, instead, combatting the thought with a small touch of the table wood. In the short term, it cleared his fears. He touched wood, so despite however irrational it was, it would still mean he would be okay if he ate it.

It doesn't take long for the ghouls to text Swiss, to ask for advice. They feel guilty, knowing that Aether, Omega, and now Swiss were absolutely swamped in the infirmary, but they really don't know how to help the quint.

[queer-but-not-here]

I want some of your Stranger Things headcanons (if you have any) :3

AHH!! I spent like 20 minutes on this so

under the cut bc i would be greatgul if someone else did

no beta read we die like bob (im sorry)(i am high key dyslexic)

also it’s only like 4 hcs, but also I kinda got off track and it’s my personal reasons agenst mlv on els side

the older kids share a closet basically. Its starts with Steve and robin- robin where’s smt if Steve’s, and becuase Eddie also leavkes clothes sometimes she grabs smt eddies, she brings over baggy clothes and they get circaled, eventually they forget who’s is who’s and now Nancy is whereing what was eddies black wife beater type shirt. 

Same also gose for the party. Lucases mom but him a shirt, max steals it, it ends up with el, it gets left at mikes, will barrows it, back to el, back to max, and Lucas never crosses the cycal. Everyone is about the same size, all with in a size or two of each other. The adults have just gotten a good median between and everyone but mikes parnests jst remind that the chance of that shirt ending up across town is likely. This is my favriot bc for almost all au’s.

Now, most of these are separate AU or don’t all play at once’s. Wethier ships change, I simply don’t want them together, or it didn’t make since in the ig plot, idk

Queer hcs go crazy

I loveee genderfluid Mike. Idk why but hovering Mike a non cis gender hits hard. Will can be cis, but Mike. I project. 

also trans Mike to me is open, 

For me with Mike, I don’t think any of the kinda adults payed enough attention to him, in a cirtan way. Like they showed up, Nancy played with him (untill a year or two before s1) but his parents were kinda busy. Ted worked, Karen was doing what ever or three wine glasses down. So if he transitioned, they honestly forgot untill they got like calls from school or doctor things that his name wasn’t Michale. 

El, my butiful baby. I love her :3

Anyways, she is not mentally mature. And this ain’t as much head canon as here the evidence I think this. She spent years in a lab, she didn’t know much social. She has no concept of homophobia or racism or anything of that. She hasn’t grown in the world of a person dispite being one. And when she was, she was chased, she was held in hoppers cabin for a year. She spent it watching soap operas and romance movies and what not. Her main idea of life is what mikes showed her, and Thea fiction movies that are even more imaginative then the ones modernly. and I also plead the idea that she didn’t know how she feels kinda.(I hate saying that but.) after dumping Mike, with max, I think it says alot. She’s not upset, she hangs out with max, she allows max to talk about mike the way she dose. I saw someone on here say this but idk where it went,, but she would of defended him with max if thier was a true bond. And also I think this is part for mikes sort of internalized homophobia. 

But I give el the aromantic spectrum. She feels it less, but in a Cupid sexual kinda. She wants a relation, but she doesn’t feel that attraction like that. (Me too brotha I’m crying)

Idk what else. I have more but idk brain is ASS rn

Ty sm :3

[jack-of-heartstrings]

yay you've watched the episode!! :D

do you have thoughts or feelings about the whole new big cult thing reveal?

I'VE BEEN TELLING EVERYONE!!! After so long I was shocked to actually see it more directly, but I've been reminding people for ages that we still didn't know shit about What We Started Fifteen Years Ago! That there was this whole big conspiracy in the background! We never saw it more clearly than the Shanghai special but it's been alluded to offhand since then, and hints have been dropped as well.

xD I am unfortunately going to have to rewrite (easy) and re-record audio (PAIN AND MISERY AND SUFFERING FOR TEN THOUSAND YEARS) for the Chloe video essay I was working on now that we know a little more but YEAH.

I think it's likely an extremely important detail that Gabriel was "The Diamond", and the party in Emotion was the "Diamonds' Dance", and likely also that the party in Gabriel Agreste had such a similar aesthetic to the Diamonds' Dance.

I'm not sure if his code name makes me more or less certain the suspiciously-all-similar-aged kids at the Diamonds' Dance of which confirmed Sentis Adrien and Kagami were the king and queen were also all Sentis themselves, but I still think it's a strong possibility too. Yes this includes Chloe. Especially Chloe. I've been trying to figure out which icon Audrey could be now that we've seen the council, and wondering if Andre is still involved, though I imagine much like Nathalie it's hard to truly leave. 100% though, Chloe is more of a celebrity now because the organization is collectively pushing for her to fill the space left by Adrien (and to an extent Kagami).

I also suspect, of all people, Bob Roth is probably involved, if not on a seat then as someone's Shadow, but very possibly as a council member outright. His inclusion in the episode card of Gabriel Agreste was always so suspicious and part of the cult evidence, and as comically over the top as he is, he is very much a picture of corrupt corporate greed that seems very much the cult's MO. Everything he's doing setting up his son as a manufactured icon fits perfectly with what we've seen so far with the Perfect World Project. (Hell, even learning Luka was Jagged's son and going "you can always turn a celebrity's kid into a celebrity" like... wouldn't be evidence on its own but with surrounding context is... yeah, that would track, huh.)

I am so SO bad with audio processing, and between different presentation (haughty vs low and slow and serious), the slight mechanical distortion on the call, AND a language I don't speak, I CANNOT tell just comparing the French versions if the voices are at all similar or wildly obviously different, so someone please do tell me if it's the latter. But with the context that my brain just sucks at this so I'm purely guessing from visual cues and subtitles, I wonder if Lord Graham is the Scepter.

(Edit to add: I thought Tomoe being The Machine was too obvious to need a mention but just saw people questioning so I'll throw that in too. She's definitely The Machine. Between taking of Gabriel's work, the manufacturing business, and "I never fail" with the whole Tsurugi family themes. Yeah.)

I'M WILDLY DELIGHTED THAT WE ARE GETTING NATHALIE LORE and I did not expect HER family to be equally involved in this but I am NOT complaining. FANTASTIC time to introduce it, too, weighed against Ivan's lore drop and Adrien's struggles.

BUT YEAH. I think my ideal would be us getting scattered tidbits more this season, like significant but small bits, until the season finale or close to it, and then dealing more heavily with the cult next season. As eager as I am for answers I do enjoy the slow burn and think it'll be great to keep the focus on the interpersonal stuff going on for most of this season. I'm willing to wait.

[just-unknown-works]

(what my brain comes up with when I’m unable to draw so have a text post. May potentially draw it later down the line if I feel up to it.)

TWST AU -ShoenSpade Stepbrothers AU-

~The reason why they weren’t in each other’s “going home” events~

White rabbit fest:

Dylla: *looks around the group of friends* Hm…?

Epel: Something the matter Mrs. Spade?

Dylla: Oh! I apologize I was just wondering where *looks to Deuce* your brother was?

Deuce: He’s busy with work. I thought he, or pops, told you that he couldn’t participate cause they were working on the same project…?

Dylla: Ah! That makes sense. Though your father neglected to tell me it seems…*smiles darkly*

Deuce: *under his breath and sweating slightly* Pops is in trouble…

Vil’s red carpet cadets (note: Eric has a mild dislike of Ace because of the fact that he almost got Deuce kicked out of NRC on their first day + the fact that Ace bullied a blind person, despite them all being friends now):

Eric: *takes in each face of the people Vil brought* Oh? I don’t see your brother anywhere. Did something come up?

Vil: Yes unfortunately. Two things came up so he couldn’t come.

Eric: *raises an eyebrow* What two things?

Vil: One club thing and…*glances at Azul before leaning towards his father and whispering* One remedial lesson. Apparently he didn’t do to well on one of his tests. I was however able to bring his friend Ace with me. *nods his head subtly towards Ace before going back to sitting up properly*

Eric: Ah I see. *looks towards Ace and gives a darkened smile slightly laced with malice*

Ace: *sweats and gives an awkward smile*

Ace: *mentally* Did I do something wrong???

Bonus! How each of the parents feel about Yumehara:

Dylla: Thinks she’s a sweet girl who gets along with her son really well. Worried and fussed over her when she went to the White Rabbit Fest since there were lots of people there. Thinks Deuce might be bi (and potentially poly) because of his interactions with her and how he talks about Jack (do I plan on making this a ship in this au? Unsure atm). Overall thoughts- Yumehara’s a 10/10 and she hopes she and Deuce will always be good friends (also happy that the mobility aid her and Eric agreed on, it took a bit to agree on one, when Deuce asked for it is very useful).

Eric: A very polite young lady who is very self sufficient and independent despite being blind. He also thinks she’s really intelligent (was able to figure out that Vil and Deuce were brothers just by the way they talked about each other). Likes that she finds Vil and himself so reliable to guide her when she walks (had heard from Deuce that she enjoys being guided when they walk so he ended up doing it after they met). Glad she is good friends with both of his sons and hopes that they will remain friends for life. Overall thoughts- She’s a 10/10 in his books, especially when she tells him stories about Deuce.

[princescar]

I'm a Vampire!

aka karl is listening to his DECO*27 playlist again

[octoling-wearing-gauges]

will the real lars fans please stand up

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[deadbaguette]

Lost in the cosmos makes me very sad but I love Brian very much so have a small doodle

[doctorsiren]

Today’s textured canvases once again featuring that Legally Mom AU 😁

Miles and Phoenix were never separated, and so they remained best friends through high school and college. They both went to law school, but Phoenix got a BFA and went to law school wanting to defend artistic and creative rights. He also went because he would be bored all day if Miles was still going to school and he wasn’t

Edgeworth actually becomes a lawyer and he works at his mother’s firm

Mia ends up working there instead of at Grossberg’s because it makes more sense that she would work at the firm connected to DL-6 and also uh she would have a woman as her boss lmao (Eleanor ends up becoming like a mother-figure for Mia, and Miles becomes like a younger brother to her)

Since Mia isn’t working at Grossberg’s, she wasn’t involved in the Fawles trial (which was prosecuted by Franziska). Diego was the defense attorney on that one, and he went on a solo mission to investigate Dahlia. He and Mia met and became friends, but Diego kept the Dahlia investigation close to his chest and a secret, partially to protect Mia (since they were friends now and since she was a new attorney and inexperienced). Diego and Mia finally ask each other out one day, and they plan to have a date later that week, but Diego then has to go to a meeting he has…which was with Dahlia…and he got poisoned…and by the time he wakes up, Mia is dead and they never got to go on that first date. He was asleep and unable to protect her, which is why he didn’t tell her about the Dahlia investigation in the first place. He ends up blaming the Edgeworths (Eleanor and Miles) for her death.

Dahlia (Iris) still dates Phoenix since Phoenix and Miles are dummies and have yet to confess their feelings for each other (although Eleanor can tell). Since Mia wasn’t a part of the Dahlia investigation, and since it was handled by a different firm, it didn’t raise any red flags when Phoenix started dating this chick. Phoenix was also in the courthouse library that day because, again, he wanted to go to law school with Miles (subconsciously pulling an Elle Woods).

When the murder of Doug happens, Miles isn’t a lawyer yet since, even though he could have skipped a grade or two, he never did because he didn’t want the increase in social isolation and also didn’t want to get separated from his friends he already had at his grade level. So he’s the same year as Phoenix (senior in college). I think Eleanor would then be the one defending Phoenix (rather than Mia) since she’s also basically a mother to him (he practically lived at the Edgeworth household since his home life wasn’t great, and then he moved in after his mother passed away his senior year of high school. So he’ll call her Mom and such, but he doesn’t refer to Miles as his brother and neither does Eleanor refer to them as brothers since She Knows What They Are [even if they don’t really know yet lmao])

We also figured out that for Turnabout Goodbyes, Eleanor is the one framed for Hammond’s murder since MVK wants to get rid of her as she is still trying to investigate the truth and he can’t have that. Miles has to defend his own mother BUT THEN when Miles starts saying the stuff about how he probably is the one who killed his own father, Eleanor then defends HIM and it’s just…Ough…mother son bonding over murder and death of father 😭😭😭😭

Just some thoughts 😁

[orbofrommyshows]

Something that I'm forever going to find funny about Turbo is the fact that he is (or at least was at the time of taking over Sugar Rush) very clearly an amateur programmer. The code box he made is just filled with disorganized spaghetti and I would be absolutely shocked if he documented anything lmao, so I keep imagining the utter hell of a time he'd had with it whenever he had to make a bug fix or something, because there's no way in hell that code didn't come with an entire dump truck worth of problems. Like, something in it breaks so he has to go back in and do the debugging to find out what went wrong and he's just combing through it going:

"wait what does that function do?"

"I should have picked better variable names, this thing is damn near unreadable."

"what kind of idiot wrote this- wait it's me… I'm the idiot…"

"okay I think I fixed the problem, let's see- I have created five new and interesting problems…"