#have i redeemed myself mer? 👀

[anthonyed]

Title: Rinse and Repeat (Part 2)

Relationship: Bucky/Tony

Mood: Dark

TW: Infidelity, rough sex, nsfk-ish, mild struggle to stop intercourse, gratuitous use of swear words

Dedication: for @meredithraw

-//-

There is no other way to describe how Barnes fucks Tony; he uses him.

There is nothing stopping him from being brutal and cruel.

Because he knows, the only person that could stop him is Tony and Tony wouldn't.

Maybe it's masochism, maybe it's the tiny flicker of hope every time Barnes comes back to him that he's back for good.

Yes, Tony has a wife. Yes, Tony is about to be a dad. But fuck, dammit. Tony is the worst when it comes to James Barnes.

That's why Barnes calls him his 'favourite doll'.

Because Tony is only one of his many. Part of his sick collection.

"You're so good, Tony." He pants, breathless from the forceful way he's driving into Tony; ruthless.

"Billionaire or someone else's husband, you just can't resist me now, can you?" He thrusts; hard.

Shoving Tony a few inches up the hood of his car. In his own fucking garage because Tony is pathetic.

Barnes pushes Tony's face against the hood, one hand fisting his cock roughly as he fucks.

"Do you even love her?" He growls? "Do you?"

Tony whimpers, the pain and the pleasure bursting like firecrackers all down his blood stream. Flooding. Overwhelming every single cell in his being until he couldn't think, couldn't breathe; all of his focus is zeroed-in on Barnes and Barnes only.

Drowned in the way he absolutely takes, takes and takes from Tony.

Fucks Tony like an animal; no love, just a wicked possesive game of fucking ever since the first time he came back looking.

"Breathe," he hisses into Tony's ear and Tony obeys.

Like his little pet. Going wherever Barnes takes him.

The mental imagery of that; Tony in a collar and a leash, bound to Barnes, yanks him straight out of the high he is so lost in.

Suddenly, all of his demons crowd in on him. All his worst thoughts, darkest emotions crash and he -

Fuck.

He should stop.

He should - He -

Fuck. This is not fair. Someone took an oath to love him in sick and in health and he's fucking behind her back while she's three months pregnant with his fucking child. Fuck -

"Stop!" He gasps (in his mind, he yells), clawing at his behind where Barnes is attached. "Stop, stop, stop."

But Barnes bats him away.

Tony clambers, nails scratching down the sleek paint of his Audi. He has to stop this. He has to get away.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Barnes growls, pissed. His fingers dig painfully into Tony's hip and he pulls.

Tony trashes, kicking out blindly.

"Fuck!" Barnes curses.

This time he stops. He shoves Tony hard against the hood of the car. Tony's front crushed by the metal and he groans.

"Fuck! Shit! Dammit, doll, what the fuck?"

He's angry. Livid even. Fuming with his face red and sweaty from the fucking or anger, Tony doesn't know. Nor does he care.

He's escaped and that's all that matters.

Wincing, he stumbles back a step and pulls up his pants. The place below his belly aches more than the burn in his ass.

Tony takes a shuddering deep breath and zips up his pants. His hands are shaky.

Hell, he is shaking.

Couldn't stop shaking even when he tries to.

Fuck.

"Hey?" Barnes calls, uncharacteristically soft. Like they are young and dumb again.

Like Tony is 16 and losing his virginity to Barnes all over again.

"You okay?" He reaches out, fingers an inch away from grazing Tony's shoulder and Tony jerks away.

There's no space left behind him; the car too close to his back, blocking his path, but Tony steps back still.

Even if it means the back of his knees collides with the car and they buckle and he falls.

He just wants to get away from Barnes as far as he can.

As long as he still has that presence of mind; he wants to flee.

Wants to tuck his heart in his sleeve and bolt thousands of miles away where Barnes will never find him.

Where Barnes will never look at him like he's the most precious fucking thing in the world; won't touch his face and call him doll. Won't christen him as his most favourite doll and fucks him like he means it.

Won't abandon him the second he finishes, tucking his tail in between his legs; cigarette stick between his teeth and fucking thanks Tony for the 'fun'. As if Tony is running some sex service.

Won't not look at Tony a second time as he peels away like a bandaid from an unhealed wound; taking the scab and skin with him. Leaving Tony to bleed.

Then there is his marriage...

"Tony? Doll?" Barnes calls, like he is James again.

Like is 17 and he's looking at Tony as if he's the sun and the star. The moon and the entire fucking universe and he's in fucking love.

Like he is young and his best friend hasn't died, his father hasn't fucked over their life and eloped and his mother hasn't lost her mind.

Like he is James; hopeful, vibrant and ambitious. Tony's James.

"No," Tony breathes out. Feeling his very core quaking.

He's on the ground, can't get up. But he's never going to take that hand Barnes holds out for him.

Barnes knows. He gives up.

Instead, he tugs his still open pants up to some modesty and he crouches next to Tony.

Tony turns away from him.

He can't look at those eyes without falling. He can't.

"Cherry," Barnes sighs, voice caressing soft.

Tony's final straw snaps and he breaks.

"You can't do this to me," he pleads, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

Anger boils along with despair and pain. "You can't."

Fuck, he curses. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He can't speak. Can't stop shaking, can't breathe, can't even fucking stand up. For or by himself.

He sniffles, willing the tears to stop. Forcing them when they won't. He presses the heels of his shaky palms to his closed lids and he breathes; in and out and in -

He can do this, he tells himself. He can do -

He can do this.

"C'mere," cigarette stench and sex musk fill in his space and -

And he can't.

"Shush, baby doll, shh," James coos, rocking them both back and forth.

He got Tony wrapped in a weird hug; both of them on the floor, limbs tangled where their pants fell once not too long ago.

He kisses the top of Tony's head and hums a tune under his breath; a lullaby his mother sang for him when he was a kid and he used to cuddle Tony and sing it to him when they dated.

It works.

Because even when the world is ending, Tony knows for a fact that this would calm him down.

It was the dearest memory to him; the moonlight and the warmth of James' hug. Their innocent little thoughts and dreams that never came to life.

Tony hates him for doing this; bringing back memories he couldn't turn away from.

Bringing Tony back to those days.

Remember that time?

Remember that time when we were young and in love?

Lets go back to that.