#have i read footing (1981) properly the way i should? no but i will still post decontextualized (ha ha) snippets on Tunglr Dot Com

[quatregats]

Goffman really going for the jugular with this one

[wickednerdery]

Title: Hoarfrost Hel: Commandeered Author: @wickednerdery Fandom: Marvel Pairing/character: Jotun!OC, Elf!OCs (& Loki) Rating: Teen Summary: “What are you?!” Notes: This is going back to JUST after The Avengers, but again I’m only using canon things I want lol! This is the second part of what’s shaping up to be a legit trilogy - the first is FrostBitten. The story on whole is gonna be very dark, this piece itself - which starts Ulfr’s story - is actually pretty tame aside from the attempted striking of a kid and off-screen violence. (All translations, which come from Tolkien writings are at the end.) Still, for consistency and length it gets a “Read More”.

Ulfr lets go before they ever reach Asgardian territory; takes the risk of the abyss rather than the surety of enemy hands. There is a strangeness in the fall, he flies fast from Heimdall’s pull, then slows to a weightless swim. One that seems to last forever, reeking of gasoline and burning flesh, before he feels the familiar twist in his gut that signals what he needs. A portal. He does his best to float over, but it’s in kicking off a passing blue and gold M-ship that Ulfr makes any headway. Gets close enough that gravity takes over to suck him in, through.

Things speed up once more, the swirl of energy tossing him about until his head spins. He closes eyes, prays to the gods that this portal will not be like the last. That this one will be bring him peace, adventure, and above all, safety. Only when the pull of the vortex stops, when he feels himself falling due to pure gravity, does Ulfr open his eyes. The sky above is pure blue with silver clouds, trees hit him with sturdy wood and vibrant leaves, and the earth strikes hard, but ultimately gives way under him. He lays still, shifting in and out of his Jotun-self to test and heal his body. He only stops seeing his frost creeping across fresh lands.

Prince Draugluin feels the earth shake, a chill run through the air and then his bones. His horse threatens to throw him and he must put force behind the reins to steady the creature. They both sense something foreign in their lands, something to be wary of. “What was that?” He turns sharp to his page, who merely shrugs.

“I don’t know, mi’lord.”

“Then perhaps you should find out,” he glares. Idiot servants, they need to be told everything plain and even then they hesitate like this one. “Well? GO!!” He roars and the young boy dashes.

He wanders aimlessly, only picking the direction of ‘away’, until he feels sudden, bitter, freeze. Even the most brutal of Álfheimr winters were not so col and the boy began to huddle into himself for warm and security as he pressed on. By the time he finds the frosted crater Draugluin’s barking out to him. Has he found anything? Where is he? Answer! But he can’t find his voice as he stands before a blue giant with finger to its lips.

“I won’t hurt you,” Ulfr assures as he shifts into an appearance closer to the other. Humanoid form, white marble skin, with slightly pointed ears. He knows where he is now, there should be little risk here. “What’s your name, little elf?” Only a squeak comes from the lad and he chuckles. “I’m Ulfr.”

There’s another moments hesitation before he mutters. “Virtion.”

“Lazy, stupid, boy!” The Prince storms upon them, riding crop at the ready. “When I call for you, you answer me, understood?!”  He raises hand high and the boy flinches, but the strike never comes. A hand stops it: bone-breakingly strong as it burns with cold. “What sorcery…?!” The thing before him is a horror-show reflection with ruby eyes and skin lined in moonstone.  

“Most would think the Ljósálfar above it…” Ulfr smirks, yanks the prince from atop his horse to the ground. “It’s almost comforting to know it’s the same everywhere.”

“I am Prince Draugluin, son of Aranwë, ruler of this realm!”

“Always those above beating those beneath them further down, always the masters cruel to the meek.”

“What are you?!” Draugluin half commands, half begs, as he kicks out in attempt to regain footing.

“...An avenging angel?” Ulfr offers in jest. “Wait, do your people believe in those? Perhaps vengeful god’s better? Ah, doesn’t matter.” Fists turn to ice as the prince claws at them. 

“Unhand me, Helegan!” Draugluin orders him, then his page. “Anno dulu enni!”

“Shut...UP!!” The frost giant’s had enough of this. Of the prince’s fear after being only too keen to whip a little boy, of his demanding nature, of all those things that remind Ulfr of Loki. He’s lived under shitty princes and cruel kings, he’s had enough of them and the universe could certainly do with one fewer. And, with a flick of his wrist, there is.

Virtion jumps, muffles the yelp with his hands, before looking up into red eyes as his own tear.

Hard to imagine, but Ulfr forgot about the boy and immediately drops the body to crouch before him. “Shhh, shh shh shh...” he quickly works to sooth, silence, the child. “Hey, no no, it’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m not, just...”

“Prince Draugluin?! My lord...where’ve you gone?!”

Ulfr’s hand flies over the boy’s mouth as he gives a stressed smile. “He really was the prince?” The boy nods. Oops. “You’re a slave, yes?” The boy nods again. “I killed your master, yes?” Another nod. “Good, now you’re mine, understand?” Nod. “Close your eyes and do not open them again until I say so.”

The page does as told, closes and even covers eyes. He listens though. Without understanding why he hears the growls of a beast, the tearing of flesh and crunching of bone so terrifying he begins to shake, bite back sobs, praying to the gods that someone will come along and find him. Save him. Protect him. End whatever bizarre nightmare he’s in.

“Sire?” Maethril’s eyes scan the area, but only finds his horse, his page boy, and mass of gore between the two. She supposes she should at least be grateful the gore isn’t the boy...it wouldn’t be the first time Prince Draugluin ‘accidentally’ lost a servant while hunting. “Where is he?!” The page merely shakes his head with eyes still covered. He doesn’t know and can’t look to see. “Boy!” It’s a warning snap from the she-elf, but Virtion is held by the orders of his strange new master.

“Calm yourself...” The prince appears from within the woods, spattered with blood but otherwise his usual haughty self. He looks down at the youth, smirks. “Virtion, open your eyes, foolish boy.” The words are correct, but the tone far too kind.

The page opens them cautiously, they go wide at the sight of his former master before him. He jumps, trips and falls, at the mass of death before him. He looks up at the narrow-eyed she-elf, one of the royal family’s personal guards, then to Draugluin. He thinks he knows, but surely it can’t be...

“I told you the wolf would not get us,” the man states firmly before a hint of smile and flash of crimson eyes show to the lad. “Your lord and master is much too clever to fall prey to such a dull creature.”

So...this is what Ulfr’s up too, haha! While this initial switch is relatively easy, I doubt all things will be so for him...This realm is one Ulfr’s read about, but not been to and the prince is a very different person from Ulfr so it’s certain he’ll have issues keeping his cover and such, haha! (Ulfr can speak Allspeak though, so he’ll understand what’s being said aside from, maybe, certain cultural phrases.) Ljósálfar are the Norse Light Elves, Álfheimr is their realm, and I’m obviously going to use the concept of Tolkien elves (at least in part) to represent them, lol!

Word Glossary (in order of usage):

Draugluin - Blue (Were)wolf (Sindarin) Virtion - Virt - Slave (Qenya); -ion - son (Sindarin) Aranwë - Kingly Person (Sindarin) Helegan - Heleg- Ice; Lavan - Beast (Sidarin) Anno dulu enni! - Help me! (Sindarin) Maethril - [Female] Warrior (Sindarin)

(Gifs found on Google, then combined by me)

Tagged: @succumb-to-your-king @chibiyanai @wadeyouwitch @creedslove @lady-crowned-with-stars @moonfaery @annievvv7  @ladyfluff @holykryptonitekitten @lokilvrr @janebrownnie @lokis-little-kitten @alexakeyloveloki @theangelsfightwithdevils @the-blue-tiefling @lokis-lady-death @dangertoozmanykids101 @prometheasmother @vethrvolnir @wintertink @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes @drakonwild @starscreamloki @judas-nipples @hiddles-rose  @the-lady-witchitery @galaxies-inside-my-head @jackheart180 @lukeevansandjdmobession @endlessstairway @lanabanana-86 @tom-fucking-hiddleston-1981 @lovekrystina @madoka73 @lokikingofasgardslover713 @partiallyinthecloset @ultrarebelheart  @gravitational-anomaly @manip-loki @my-world-of-imagines …Think that’s everyone from FrostBitten, if you want on or off, just lemme know! (Strike-throughs are those Tumblr refuses to tag properly)

[takaraphoenix]

Best Animated Movies Through the Years

After I threw some shade at Disney with the sequel-thing I did earlier, I figured I’d do a list of what I consider the best animated movies. Not just including Disney. And since I’m shit at picking favorites and properly ranking stuff, we’ll go through them by years, in chronological order. All personal picks, obviously.

Basically, this is just self-indulgent because I want to ramble about my favorite animated movies.

Also, this is going to be really long so I’ll shorten it by making you click “keep reading” below!

And by “really long”, I mean this is literally a list of 65 animated movies through the years - yeah, that is the narrowed-down version because it’s only 65 out of the 282 animated movies I have on my overall “timeline of animated movies”.

I think the way this list makes most sense is... for scrolling through to see titles you might have never heard of before and getting a recommendation for a great animated movie that isn’t necessarily just your average Disney masterpiece (though those are of course also on the list).

1937 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Disney

It might not be the best story-telling wise and Snow might not be the most fleshed-out Disney princess, but you can not talk about the best animated movies without respecting the first. This paved the way and this is what set the course for Disney. The animation is beautiful, even eighty years later it still looks stunning. And while not a genius in character-development, it is still a very faithful - by Disney-standards anyway - retelling of the fairy tale.

1942 - Bambi, Disney

Thumper will forever be one of my favorite Disney characters. Who watched this movie and didn’t love Bambi and Thumper and Flower is a lying liar who lies. It is beautiful, it is emotional and it’s the start of a wonerful tradition of talking animal movies.

1950 - Cinderella, Disney

I know I said in the sequel-thing that this movie is flat. But you got to keep in mind the time-period from which it is. And for that, it still stands strong. Many shame Cinderella as just being a girl after a boy and that’s it; same for Snow White by the way. All those “new age” Disney fans who think only the princesses from 2000+ are real heroines. That both Snow White and Cinderella were abused half their lives and that literally the only escape from that kind of abuse in that kind of time would be to get married and move out, is forgotten way too often. This girl has been treated as a house-slave all her life and all she wants is one night to feel like a princess - she never even really just wishes for a prince, she just wants to go to the ball - and she fights for it. It’s more a movie about overcoming abuse and issues of self-worth, of friendship and escapism than it is just a bland “That girl wants a boyfriend” movie and it deserves respect for that.

1951 - Alice in Wonderland, Disney

As a very big fan of the books, I hold a special kind of love for this movie because it’s actually a rather faithful adaptation. Of course it leaves out a lot and changes some things, but I think it stands very true to the source material and keeps a wonderful mixture of beautiful fairy tale land and creepy LSD trip in a great balance.

1959 - Sleeping Beauty, Disney

Aurora is my favorite Disney princess so I can not skip her movie. This movie wins on character design alone. Aurora gets a lot of shade thrown at her for being asleep half her movie, but you gotta try to look past that. We have a green-skinned, horned villainess who turns into a freaking dragon and spits fire. Maleficent’s design alone is amazing, but add to that the three quirky fairies and Aurora, as well as Prince Philipp who gets to not just kiss the girl as the princes before him did but to literally slay a dragon and save the kingdom for his princess and you got a real fairy tale masterpiece right there.

1967 - The Jungle Book, Disney

If I had to pick only one Disney movie, out of an artistic point of view, it would be this. Just as an artist alone, I marvel at this movie and the love for detail that went into animating the animals. The way they walk and move was done so incredibly well, you can see the effort that went into making this movie. The drawings are so beautiful. Bagheera will forever be one of my favorite Disney characters. Shere Khan is one of the three best Disney villains in existence - also, vastly misunderstood considering he really should have just eaten the brat and be done with this, I mean come on, like a pack of wolves or a panther wouldn’t have eaten the tiny snack and I still think this movie would have been improved by 100% if they had eaten Mowgli in the beginning because the brat is the only flaw this movie has.

1970 - Aristocats, Disney

This is such a beautiful story of family and love. I feel like it nearly doesn’t even need words to describe it because it’s a given that this movie should be on this list. The humor, the heart, the music, the animation, the characters. It’s adorable, and I’m saying that as a not-cat-person.

1973 - Robin Hood, Disney

It’s impressive if you just consider the fact that it was made with so much rehashed material (they reused a lot of old animation here). But it has a beautiful story, it’s innovative in the sense that it essentially introduces anthro characters and it’s just ridiculously cute.

1976 - The Twelve Tasks of Asterix | Les Douze Travaux d’Astérix, Goscinny & Uderzo

As a German, I can not do this list without including this movie. It is maybe one of the funniest animated movies in history. No one in Germany doesn’t know what a Passierschein A38 is. Growing up with the Asterix comics and other Franco-Belgian comics in the way the stereotypical nerds in American TV grew up with Marvel and DC comics, Asterix was literally the hero of my childhood and among all his movies, this one is definitely the best and the most fun to watch.

1981 - The Fox and the Hound, Disney

This is easily one of the most heartbreaking Disney movies and the only one where the love-interest is the real villain for coming between the main characters? Like? No. This movie would be perfect if not for Vixie. I love foxes, I love baby animals (when they’re animated; real ones creep me out) and I love a good story about friendship. This is really not a happy movie, which sets it apart from other Disney movies, but it’s still beautiful.

1986 - An American Tail, Don Bluth

For me, as a German kid, this was so weird to watch because the concept of immigrants and other continents aside from Europe being A Thing That Exists, it was totally alien and following Feivel and his family on that journey was a great way of being introduced into this literal New World of America. Feivel is such an endearing character, this movie is so heartfelt and has a pure focus on family and friendship that is simply beautiful to watch.

1986 - Fluppy Dogs, Disney

I know this one is a bit of a stretch because technically it’s not a movie but the pilot to a failed cartoon series, but this might easily be my favorite Disney movie of them all? The characters are so amazing, the concept of parallel worlds will forever be one of my favorite things and I was first introduced to it in this movie, the focus of friendship and overcoming differences is great and I’m sorry but this is a movie about rainbow-colored fluffy puppies that can talk and travel between universes, how is that not amazing?!

1988 - The Land Before Time, Don Bluth

Others cried when Bambi’s mom was shot, but to me this one was way worse. The pain and fear of isolation that Little Foot went through, this scary dark world around him. Those diverse, quirky and amazing characters that you met and fell in love with within this really short one hour movie - really, you have one hour and you have five main characters and yet it’s enough to make you fall for each and every one of them. How this ragtag team of dinosaurs finds together and how they become friends. It’s maybe the purest friendship-story among animated movies and I love it. Also, it’s literally the best dinosaur movie ever made and you can fight me on that.

1989 - All Dogs Go to Heaven, Don Bluth

This is so refreshing, because we don’t have this shining, pure golden boy of a protagonist. We have the first anti-hero in animated history, really. Charlie is a selfish dog and he has an amazing redemption arc. The guts to do such a thing, a redemption movie on an animated dog, I marvel at that, considering the time and that it had never been done before. You learn to love Charlie and you feel for him throughout the journey and you also feel for the little girl.

1989 - The Little Mermaid, Disney

Ariel is a brat. Ariel is maybe the only Disney princess that is mainly relatable if you yourself are a child and rebelling against your parents. As a kid, this was the best princess movie for me, I worshiped Ariel, she was so cool. As an adult, I mainly admire Triton and his patience and love for his daughter. This movie, for me, is what shows you if you’re grown up. If you still side with Ariel, you’re probably not as grown up as you like to think, and if you came around to feel for Triton, I got some bad news for you because you are officially an adult now. But even that aside, it has one of the most endearing sidekicks in Flounder, it has one of the most compelling villains in Ursula and it has some of the most beautiful musical numbers. Not to mention, the animation is gorgeously drawn.

1990 - The Rescuers Down Under, Disney

This movie is literally the only sequel in the history of sequel-making that outdoes the first movie. Its animation is beautiful, its story-telling amazing, its characters get proper arcs and are well-rounded and cute, it’s a stunning masterpiece of an animated movie (and I wasn’t even aware that there was a first one until my late teens, so it’s also amazingly done as a stand-alone movie).

1991 - Beauty and the Beast, Disney

Since I included all the other princess movies, I feel obligated to also include this. And it does have beautiful music and animation - outstanding animation, really - and it has endearing sidekicks, but I’m just not really a fan of the story itself. The whole violent, vicious beast kidnaps girl and girl completely changes everything about him and they fall in love with each other but somehow she never even bothers to ask him for his name and continues to call him Beast even though they’re already in love, not to mention this was kick-started because a 10 year old boy was rude to a stranger, what the heck Enchantress way to be overly dramatic... Yeah. That. But aside from that, as an animated movie, beyond just as a movie, it’s really beautiful.

1991 - FernGully: The Last Rainforest, 20th Century Fox

Not the English dub though. This is my third most favorite movie of all time, but I never got over the first 10 minutes of the English original because holy shit, that voice “actor” who plays the part of the male lead has never done voice acting, or any form of acting, before in his life and it’s just painful to listen to. But the movie itself is beautiful. Basically, it’s one half of Avatar, but in good (the other half being Pocahontas, of course). The message of saving our planet is done is such a beautiful, child-friendly way, the fairies and nature and the characters are so amazingly done and Hexor is like one of the best non-Disney-animated-movie-villains.

1992 - Aladdin, Disney

The weird part where it’s all about the hero, but in the end she’s the Disney princess and wins the fame and fortune contest, even though let’s be real, her plot in this is kinda weird. “Oh no, my life is too good”, yeah that’s such a relatable complaint especially for kids, and sicking your tiger onto a political ally is really great, princess, because even if you don’t want to get married, maybe try not to start a war, mh? And Aladdin’s approach of lying to get the girl is not the best either. What really wins wthis movie is, hands down, the Genie. Also the Sultan, who is one of my favorite Disney dads. The character dynamis and the growth of them throughout are also big plus-points.

1994 - The Lion King, Disney

This is one of the Disney movies that just hits the ball out of the park and it’s probably my third favorite Disney movie. The adorable animation. The mind-blowing songs. The compelling, eccentric villain, the emotions as you sob over Mufasa like a little child even when you’re over 20, the character design and the animals themselves, as well as the beautiful set-art. This movie is really very amazing.

1994 - The Swan Princess, Rich Animation

I mentioned once before that Toy Story is a perfect trilogy. So are this movie and its sequels. Yes, the first one is superior to its sequels and thus only it will find its way onto this list but the second and third are definite must-see movies too the others do not exist though and they should not exist. Odette is the original princess who didn’t just fall into the hero’s arms and had a love-at-first-sight romance. Disney gets props for Anna in Frozen like that’s the first time that happened, but if you look past Disney, it happened as early as 19994. Odette and Derek grow up not liking each other and when she’s pretty as a teen, he suddenly wants to marry her and she asks him why - and he answers because she’s pretty. And she flat-out rejects him. He has to fight for her heart and he falls in love with her on the way, really in love, and he makes her fall in love with him. It’s a beautiful love-story, with quirky animal sidekicks, endearing characters and beautiful animations. In many ways, this is superior to most Disney princess movies, really.

1995 - Pocahontas, Disney

I have always and will always love this movie, albeit I have to admit it’s... problematic. For children outside the US, who are only taught about US history in their teens, those “romanticized history” movies are a bit of a danger because we can easily fall to believe them to be true... er than they actually are (that there were no talking trees and that he didn’t learn the native tongue via singing, that much was obvious, thank you very much). But when you’re 14 and learn that her life was nothing like in the movie, that's kind of devastating. I feel like history is not the thing that should be romanticized like that. Still, it’s beautiful and great story-telling and characters and art and songs - even though singing them now makes you feel vaguely racist so that’s also a bit problematic?

1995 - Toy Story, Disney Pixar

I didn’t like this movie as a child. Mainly due to it being computer animated and fuck computer animation, gimme my 2D back. Yeah, I still have that mindset but by now I have learned to also appreciate animated movies. Not to mention, I think that for me as a kid the themes of betrayal and darkness (Sid’s house) were just too much as a child wheras I can very much appreciate them and see the complexity of the movie now as an adult. It’s great story-telling and if you consider that the animation is from 1995, it really holds up great (especially if you compare that with the animation from 2005′s Chicken Little, which might just be the worst animation-quality in all of Disney’s history, really).

1995 - Balto, Amblin Entertainment

Steele is one of the greatest non-Disney villains. This movie is beautifully complex because you get to follow this outcast on his journey of becoming part of society and rising to become a hero. It also got a beautiful arc of self-discovery, what with Balto’s status as a half-blood being what makes him an outcast to begin with. Not dog, but also not wolf. Yet in the end, he has to learn that he’s not neither, but rather both and that both sides are part of him and make him who he is. It’s a beautiful story about acceptance of one’s self.

1996 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Disney

Speaking of a story about accepting one’s self. This is really daring for a Disney movie, considering the lead is... deformed, whereas all Disney movies so far only include perfect people (unless villain). Also, the main character doesn’t get the girl in a semi-surprise twist. Not to mention, it brings us the first canonically gay Disney character in Hugo. Yes, he’s a gargoyle and yes, his male love-interest is a goat and yes he is not the representation you may want, but he’s the representation you’ll get, at least for now (and stop over-analyzing ridiculous shit like “Oh, two women are at the zoo with one child in Finding Dory. They must be the first lesbians *gasp*”... that is not representation, that is cheap and a throw-away). Not to mention, this movie has the best soundtrack out of all the Disney movies.

1997 - Hercules, Disney

We have a very complicated relationship, this movie and I. I love it to bits and pieces and it’s one of my favorite Disney movies, but at the same time I’ve learned to hate what an inaccurate adaptation of the Greek myths it is and particularly Hades’ misrepresentation makes me angry in a deeply seated way but on the other hand Hades is literally the most compelling and amazing Disney villain in existence. It confuses me. I love it so much, but deep down at its essence, part of me wants to hate it for what it did to my favorite god. But at the same time, I love that character in particular for being such a great villain.

1997 - Anastasia, Don Bluth

This is it. This is the best animated movie ever made. This is my favorite movie of all times. I’ve seen it at least 50 times by now - my guess, I stopped counting roughly ten years ago and I was at 27 back then. Just like Odette in Swan Princess, Anastasia actually falls in love with her love-interest. No love at first sight nonsense. They start off antagonizing each other, but learn to work together and ultimately fall in love. We have friendship, we have a great journey and also a great journey of self-discovery - but not just on Anastasia’s part, because her love interest is not just The Love Interest, he also gets his own arc of self-discovery. We have an intensely scary villain and we have beautiful, beautiful songs. Not to mention, Anastasia kicks major butt. She doesn’t need a man to save her, she saves the man and she literally kicks the villain’s ass. This movie is a masterpiece and a gem.

1998 - The Quest for Camelot, Warner Brothers

The movie is not as good as you remember it, believe me because I experienced the let-down, but it has one very major thing going for it: It includes a disabled character as a lead. Before Toph Beifong, this movie had a kick-ass blind character in it and that’s huge because it still barely happens and that’s a real shame. For that alone, it gets major props. Not to mention, it is kind of quite the unique take on the Arthurian legend and it’s a fun movie. But as a movie itself, it’s not overly outstanding, if you rewatch it now.

1998 - Mulan, Disney

While I said earlier that Fluppy Dogs is my favorite Disney movie, I’m aware that’s a lot of nostalgia talking and I know it’s not the best Disney movie. This right here is, though. The story-telling, the love-story and character development, the stakes of this movie are amazing, the emotions are intense. People cry when Mufasa or Bambi’s mom die, but I think the single most gut-wrenching moment of Disney history is when the most joyful song in the movie stops dead in its tracks and we see this destroyed village and we know that they’re all dead down there. The movie also has the single greatest moment, when all of China kneels before this one girl and acknowledges that yes, she is the one who saved China. She did this. Mulan is a heroine, but she doesn’t start out as that. She just starts out as a girl who wants to protect her father and she actually has to learn to be a hero. It’s amazing and emotional and yet still through it all funny and that is really mostly due to Mushu, who coincidentally was also the first time of me really liking Otto Waalkes (Mushu’s German voice and a very famous German comedian).

1998 - The Last Unicorn, Rankin/Bass Productions

This movie is so artistically beautiful and keeps such an amazing mystical vibe to it throughout. It’s very weird and scarily creepy at times that are maybe too much for a kid and a major downside of its German dub is that the songs are kept in English - I only realized a few years ago that the music actually tells a story, and that’s kind of disappointing to learn so late. But it’s just... breathtakingly beautiful and tragically sad.

1998 - The Prince of Egypt, DreamWorks

I really loathed this movie as a child. Mainly due to its Christan themes and I just got enough of that in class where they shoved it down our throats, not to mention among all the religions, Christian myths are like the most miserable, dark and scary ones, in my opinion. That movie was so not child-friendly. It was so dark and scary and brutal and miserable. Now, as an adult, I can totally appreciate those tones and I marvel at the amazing story-telling, but as a child? I was scared of this movie and I did not like it. But the animation, story-telling and the music are amazing and it really blew my mind when I rewatched it as a late teen.

1999 - The Iron Giant, Warner Brothers

I watched this movie for the first time this year, because my favorite YouTube nerds keep bringing it up during Movie Fights, so I figured I’d check it out considering I never heard of it before. I guess it must have slipped through the cracks. So I saw it for the first time, 20 years after its release. And you just don’t notice that. The animation, the story-telling, the movie - it completely holds up. It’s such a sweet but also sad story about friendship. It’s really great.

2000 - The Road to El Dorado, DreamWorks

I did not like this movie as a child. Don’t even really know why, to be honest. But when I rewatched it as a teen, I really loved it a lot. Miguel and Tulio are such great, complex characters and their journey together is amazing. Not to mention, I will never stop being upset about the fact that DreamWorks chickened out of making them the first canonically gay couple in an animated movie - which yes, was the first draft for this movie. It’d have been amazing if they had pulled through with it, really. I think that is why I hate Chel so much - and my hatred for her might be the root for why I disliked this movie as a kid. Because Chel was literally just created to get between Miguel and Tulio. But other than her, this movie is rock-solid.

2001 - Shrek, DreamWorks

Definitely not the best, but a fun movie and innovative in its parodic nature. Also has fun characters and an original story and I appreciate the way they inverted the original Disney tropes.

2001 - Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Disney

Again, one of those movies that didn’t work for me as a kid but ever since I’ve been a late teen, I watched it probably ten times because it’s amazing. It’s complex, has great character developing and story-telling and it has such a diverse cast and an original idea. I’m really sad that, most likely due to its complexity, it kinda flopped and fell flat. But, if there is one movie that does deserve the Disney live-action remake treatment, it’d be this because this movie deserves the attention and I think that in today’s time, it would do so much better.

2001 - Monsters, Inc., Disney Pixar

This was actually the first Pixar movie that I liked right away. It had cute and fun characters, a fascinating concept behind its story and it was both funny and emotional.

2002 - Ice Age, Blue Sky

They’re completely driving this franchise into the ground, but the first one was really good. I have a weakness for those “ragtag team of misfits needs to band together” kind of stories, if you haven’t noticed. And this movie does it in such a fresh, new setting. It was really enjoyable.

2002 - Lilo & Stitch, Disney

After Mulan, the best Disney movie there is. This movie is so incredibly deep and emotinonal that it never ceases to blow my mind. The sibling-love, this way they deal with the emotions and with Lilo and Stitch and both their arcs of self-discovery is just singular. There is no other movie like this.

2002 - Treasure Planet, Disney

A vastly underrated Disney movie, really. It’s spectacularly done and has such a great story-arc and development and emotional scale, not to mention the imagery that it offers. So beautiful and so much fun.

2003 - Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, DreamWorks

After rewatching and falling for The Prince of Egypt and The Road of El Dorado, I decided to rewatch all the movies I disliked as a child to see if I would actually end up liking them - and this one is another one of those. It has such an epic scale and does the one thing I missed about Hercules; it gives us the monsters and gods in mindblowing sizes and scenes. Eris, also, the greatest DreamWorks villain of all time, while still keeping her mythologically in character.

2005 - Hoodwinked, Kanbar Animation

The animation of this movie does not hold up. It looks outdated, yes. But the story-telling is superb. The parody-twist to the tale of Red Riding Hood, added with how it’s perceived by the different characters, as well as the humor of it. I remember in 2006, after it was released, I was really sick that one week and I literally watched it 32 times in a row. It was just so innovative in the way it was told and I really enjoyed how clever it was. Also, I was really out of my mind with that cold or otherwise I might have also wathced another movie or two...

2006 - Over the Hedge, DreamWorks

This is such a fun movie. I enjoy a good redemption story of an anti-hero who realizes that scamming the good guys ain’t the way to go. The fact that said anti-hero is a racoon only makes it all the better.

2007 - Ratatouille, Disney Pixar

It’s such a cute story and such an interesting take on story-telling that makes me like this movie, even though it’s not very deep and doesn’t have the most fleshed-out characters.

2008 - Kung Fu Panda, DreamWorks

The first one ought to be on this list, because it was fresh, it was funny and it was cute. The way the different characters played out and played with each other was really nice. Also, great action, for a kid’s animated movie anyway.

2008 - Wall-E, Disney Pixar

This is an amazing movie. With its message and story-telling, the way it connects to the viewer even though there’s basically no dialogue in it for most of the movie. I think as a kid I would have so not enjoyed it because of the lack of dialogue and its heavier tones regarding the overall message, but when I watched it when it came out -  and I was 16 back then - I really enjoyed it.

2008 - Bolt, Disney

I adore Bolt. I mean, I feel totally cheated because the trailer was cut to make it look like we were actually getting the Bolt series from within the movie as the actual movie and the idea of a super-dog was really cool, but even as it stood, it was a great movie and Mittens’ arc was particularly amazing in it.

2009 - Up, Disney Pixar

Honestly, doesn’t really deserve to be on the list if you see it as an overall movie. Most people get hung up on the first ten minutes of it - and those ten minutes alone are a masterpiece and would totally win as a short-movie. But there is a lot more to this movie. And it ain’t that amazing, really. It’s funny and quirky, sure, but definitely not outstanding. It’s quite ridiculous, even for an animated movie. But for the first ten minutes alone, this movie deserves to be on this list.

2009 - The Princess and the Frog, Disney

Again, doesn’t quite deserve to be on this list in my opinion, because I hate how it completely disregards the original fairy tale - starting a startlingly concerning trend for Disney here - and the blatant plotholes. It gets plus-points for being 2D again and for introducing the first black princess, but personally I think the first black princess would have deserved better than this. I understand why this movie flopped, really. Even if it’s still a cute and nice movie, it is far below average by Disney standards.

2010 - How to Train Your Dragon, DreamWorks

Oh, this movie is glorious. I have to admit, this movie is actually why I went and rewatched all those other DreamWorks movies that I used to hate as a kid, because this movie was the first time DreamWorks became an actual household name, to me. Before that, DreamWorks was just another one of those “non Disney companies” and that was it. With this movie, for the first time, they earned themselves their own name and category in my mind and made me rediscover a lot of actually great movies. The story-telling in this movie is just so great and it gets extra credit for its adorable dragon characters that are so lovable and individual. Not to mention, this movie spawned an amazing animated cartoon series.

2010 - Despicable Me, Illumination

The first one is actually a really great and beautiful movie about family and self-discovery. And then the Minions took over and this franchise sank faster than the Titantic.

2010 - Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole, DreamWorks

This might be the most beautifully animated movie in history. It is simply gorgeous and even if you just watch it for the aesthetics, you have to see it. Though it also has a very compelling story. I just think it’s a bit too dark and too realistically animated to resonate with children, which might just be why it flopped too. But when I watched it when it came out, I really enjoyed it because it is more for an older teen audience.

2010 - Megamind, DreamWorks

Such a great, vastly underrated movie. It’s so much fun, it’s so fresh and new while playing with old and overused tropes and the characters are really refreshingly quirky.

2010 - Tangled, Disney

Mixed feelings for that one. Hate how much they altered the original tale, but still enjoy this movie as it stands. It’s so cute and sweet and how they actually take the time to fall in love is just as beautiful. Not to mention, Flynn Rider is definitely the most compelling male Disney hero/prince there is, right after Hercules.

2012 - Brave, Disney Pixar

It’s so nice to have a princess who actually stays single. Though, honestly, with the options offered to her... not a surprise. At least one of them could have been at the very least handsome, to show that it takes more than just good looks to love someone. But that all options presented were also... not nice to look at was just so typically superficial of Disney that it was a bit disappointing.

2012 - Hotel Transylvania, Sony Pictures

This is just so funny and cute. The monsters as dorky characters, the fun of it all. This movie is just a good time, whether you’re a kid or not. And I have to say, after I did mention in many of these entries that they only really connected with me as an adult, I want to include a movie that’s a bit more... simple and just real fun, because those animated movies should be fun for kids too.

2012 - Wreck-It Ralph, Disney

I think this would have been so much cooler with more casual gaming cameos - and I’m saying this as a non-gamer, but seeing characters like Link or Mario or someone recognizable there would have been real cool and I’m hoping for that in the second one. Still, the way the princess trope and the villain trope were handled here was just brilliant and it’s such a sweet story that that alone makes it a must-watch.

2012 - Rise of the Guardians, DreamWorks

And we’ve reached it. The best computer animated movie of all times, my second favorite movie of all times (after Anastasia, the number one spot for 2D animated movie). This is a true masterpiece. I marvel at its animation - the frost in particular is just so beautiful simply to look at, but also the dream-sand and the characters. The story-telling is so gorgeous to watch, the characters are so sweet and amazing - and it gets special bonus-points for not forcing an unnecessariy love-story into this as so many other movies do even though it’s not really a good fit for the overall movie. Also, I just adore Jack Frost as a character. If there is only one movie from this list that you’re going to watch, then please make it this one, even above Anastasia.

2013 - The House of Magic, Touchstone Pictures

This is a smaller scale movie, but it’s very sweet. This story of finding your place in the world, finding acceptance and a family is just one that will never get old. And if it’s told through talking animals and a cute stray little kitten, that’s a simple hook right there, really.

2014 - The Nut Job, Open Roads Film

I have been told that this movie is not as good as I think it is and I don’t care. It’s a heist movie with a purple squirrel in the lead role as an anti-hero with a redemption arc and it doesn't have any unnecessary love-story forced into it; it is as great as I think it is.

2014 - Big Hero 6, Disney

If you haven’t cried like a baby in this movie, you’re dead inside. This, also, a movie I would not have enjoyed that much as a kid because it’s so dark, so much death. Killing off the brother of a boy who already is an orphan and then having that ending, it's just brutal for a kids’ movie. But it’s also beautiful and amazing and the team-dynamics and fun are great as well as the action and it actually deals with the process of grieving and doesn’t just throw it away carelessly as most others tended to do in the past.

2014 - Mune: Guardian of the Moon | Mune, le gardien de la lune, On Animation Studios

This is such an artistically beautiful movie that I would have probably never found if not for a reader of mine who recommended it to me. It’s gorgeous and the mythology created in this movie, about the guardians of the sun and moon, is so rich and amazing. It’s so cute and compelling and I really think more people should know that it exists.

2015 - Inside Out, Disney

Again, not a movie I’d have liked much as a kid. Way too deep and meta, really. This whole psychological aspect and the depth of it are what make it so compelling and amazing, but also why I wouldn’t have liked it as a child. It’s kind of fun, but mostly it’s really deep. Also, a bit questionable in its choices of “emotions in charge of literally EVERY being”... they should have skipped the tagged on credit scene where we see that literally everyone has those very same emotions in charge. How does Disgust beat out feelings like Hatred, Love, Friendship... and also reduces some of those into islands instead of actual emotions? Yeah, a bit problematic there. But overall a great movie.

2016 - Leap! | Ballerina, L'Atelier Animation

It’s such a cute story about friendship, family and finding your own way in life. It’s also really compelling to see a character with a passion about something, but zero natural talent. The way she has to work hard to learn and become a great ballerina is half the fun of this movie.

2016 - Zootopia, Disney

I’ve been salty with Disney since Frozen and though Big Hero 6 and Inside Out were good, this was the one that restored my faith in Disney again after that huge ass disappointment. This is such a great story about friendship and redemption - even if it’s just the redemption in one’s own eyes. Not to mention; a fox and a bunny. Literally two of my three most favorite animals. It’s so good. So much fun. I mean, they totally overdid it when they faked Judy’s death because the kids around me in the theater strated crying and wailing because that was just a little too close to looking real for a child to understand that it’s not. Keep your audience in mind, Disney.

2016 - Moana, Disney

Ah, the last entry for this. The newest Disney princess. I really enjoyed this movie a lot. It was beautifully made, it was a lot of fun, had good musical numbers, was a very interesting story with an amazing pseudo-plot-twist there at the end (I mean, come on, it was really very obvious literally right from the start, but still brilliantly executed and very emotional). Also, again, princess who not just stays single but where finding a husband doesn’t even have to be mentioned. Very refreshing.

[jenniferasberryus]

Unboxing Return to Dark Tower and Its Massive Mechanical Tower

When a reboot of the hit 1981 board game Dark Tower (no relation to the books or movie) was announced in 2018, the big question was how developer Restoration Games would handle the iconic electronic tower that sat at the center of its game board. Well, that big question has a big answer.

Ahead of Return to Dark Tower’s Kickstarter launch on January 14, designer Rob Daviau (who joined us previously for a look at Betrayal Legacy and has partnered with Gloomhaven creator Isaac Childres for this) came by to give us a look inside this spiritual successor’s box. That includes its massive, one-foot tall plastic tower with Bluetooth, spinning chambers, lights, and ominous sound effects galore.

Watch the video above to see me and Daviau show it off, and read on to hear my thoughts after playing Return to Dark Tower myself:

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Starting with the basics, Return to Dark Tower is a cooperative board game for 1-4 players. You and your allies have to fight monsters, grab loot, and complete quests to eventually lure out and defeat a powerful adversary hiding in the looming tower at the center of the map.

And, boy, does that tower loom. This thing is truly enormous, almost entirely blocking the opposite half of the map opposite from your view – actually a net positive, as it encouraged me and my allies to talk more and prevented anyone player from effectively quarterbacking the whole experience.

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This big hunk of plastic is, of course, important to actually playing the game, but it’s also just a presence in itself. A showpiece meant to wow and intimidate as it continuously threatens the success of your mission. Also, it’s got Bluetooth, so that’s neat.

You’ll move your hero minis around Return to Dark Tower’s lovely circular board while managing item cards, plastic skulls, and other physical pieces, but many other aspects of the game are handled by a mobile app. Quest tracking, turn counters, and combat to name a few, but the digital and physical sides are balanced in a way that never makes the other feel superfluous.

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And, perhaps most important of all, the tower itself feels as important as it should. Daviau told me they wanted to make sure players couldn’t just leave it in the box, and the suite of showy actions it can perform is full of both flavor and substance. Its built-in Bluetooth connects to your phone, essentially acting as a gamemaster for your adventure when paired.

A player ends their turn by dropping a tiny plastic skull into the top of the tower. A sensor detects the skull, signals to the app that a turn is over, and triggers all sorts of dastardly events depending on the combination of quests, monsters, and main villain you are using for that session. The inner chambers of the tower shift and turn, sigils appear and light up to impose penalties on whoever they are facing, and occasionally you’ll need to open trap doors on its foreboding exterior.

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That last bit is often the scariest. When a skull is dropped into the tower it will usually roll out of one of its many openings at random. The player it rolls toward then has to place that skull on one of the buildings in their section of the map, which makes gathering the benefits of that building more expensive. That’s rough on its own, but it’s even more terrifying when a skull doesn’t appear at all, instead gathering in some unknown nook or behind a door yet to be opened within the tower itself.

As the game goes on and more openings are unlocked, it not only makes getting skulls or sigils more likely, it also increases the odds that you’ll stumble upon a latent cache of doom waiting to roll out. At one point during our playthrough, the tower instructed us to open a door and four skulls clattered onto a single player’s kingdom, throwing all their plans into chaos. It’s delightfully devilish and makes interacting with this evil monolith wonderfully tense.

Return to Dark Tower is split into six “months,” each of which begins by giving you two quests: one that will help you complete your overall quest of luring out and defeating your adversary more easily when finished, and another that will instead empower your enemies if you don’t complete it.

Since you only have that month to complete them (each month is generally between seven and nine turns long), the puzzle here is in figuring out how best to divide tasks and time between each player – and to determine what will likely have to fall under the umbrella of “acceptable losses.” This makes each month a little mini-game inside of your final quest, full of tough choices and tiny victories of their own.

[poilib element="quoteBox" parameters="excerpt=Killing%20an%20enemy%20is%20generally%20as%20easy%20as%20using%20the%20combat%20action%20on%20them%2C%20but%20be%20ready%20to%20take%20massive%20losses%20alongside%20your%20victory%20if%20you%20aren%E2%80%99t%20properly%20prepared."] Many of those choices involve the monsters that inevitably fill the map, and specifically whether you’re going to fight them or spend your time elsewhere while quietly praying they don’t find you cowering in the corner… which they will. See, killing an enemy is as easy as using the combat action on them (apart from some special big bads), but be ready to take massive losses alongside your victory if you aren’t properly prepared.

Combat is handled entirely through Return to Dark Tower’s app, which we were using a prototype version of. Instead of rolling dice or pitting combat power against one another, you instead draw a set number of digital cards from that monster’s deck while using “advantages” you gather through items and character abilities to make those cards less awful.

For example, many enemy cards cause you to lose a resource called warriors, and you could use an advantage on one that makes you lose four warrior tokens to reduce it to two, and then another to make it zero. Go even further and you’ll actually start getting resources back as a reward, but don’t have enough to sacrifice and you’ll gather debuffs called corruptions that will lose you the game once you reach three.

If you don’t have many advantages to spend you’ll still be able to win the fight, just not mitigate the damage you take as a result, and having only a few advantages forces you to pick which poisons you most want to neutralize. Some advantages are only effective against certain enemy types too, like beasts or the undead, encouraging players to specialize and prepare the right tool for the right job.

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It’s a unique and strategically interesting system, if one that felt just a little bit odd thematically in practice. Most enemies – whether it’s a wolf or an ogre – can be killed in a single combat, and it seems odd that you amass warrior not to improve your combat power but instead to have them be taken away to avoid real damage. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a system I enjoyed using and planning around, but one that’s likely in need of a finished app with actual card graphics and more clear flavor to really click for me.

That said, it’s one of the few parts of Return to Dark Tower that didn’t so far. The slight variations between each character are significant enough to give each player a distinct role without making everyone learn a whole new ruleset, the items and treasures offer significant effects that my group was constantly getting excited about, and the prospect of replayability as you (and the app) swap between sets of quests, adversaries, and more is highly appealing for a box as big as this.

Return to Dark Tower is launching a Kickstarter on Tuesday, January 14 at 9am ET. It’s by no means a cheap or small game, and there’s still lots of questions left unanswered after my one (nearly victorious) prototype playthrough, but the unique spectacle and interesting puzzle it offered already left me wanting to have another go right away.

If you’re looking for more great board games, you can watch our spoiler-free unboxing of Betrayal Legacy with Daviau, or check out our list of the best cooperative board games. We’ve also rounded up some of the best fantasy board games around, and if you’re new to the hobby, here’s our picks for the best board games for beginners. [poilib element="accentDivider"] Tom Marks is IGN's Deputy Reviews Editor and resident pie maker. You can follow him on Twitter. from IGN Video Games https://www.ign.com/articles/return-to-dark-tower-first-impressions-and-unboxing-its-massive-mechanical-tower via IFTTT from The Fax Fox https://thefaxfox.blogspot.com/2020/01/unboxing-return-to-dark-tower-and-its.html