#have i forgotten how to write dnp? why yes i have thank you for asking

[phillestatos]

incrowrrupted by fireworks

genre: fluff

warnings: none

summary: Phil plans a trip to Altissia to propose to Dan, because there isn’t a more romantic place than Altissia, right? Right. Thing is, he forgot the Moogle-Chocobo Carnival was a thing. It’s just his luck, isn’t it?

words: 1.8k

a/n: My contribution for the @pinofsappreciation project! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NIKKI @pinofs!!!!!!! sorry this isn’t a SERIOUS fic, i thought abt something that you could like and TECHNICALLY it’s not a ffxv au…technically. slightly. idk. i thought about this as soon as i found out abt the project and yet the idea it’s not quite a ffxv au. go me.

i wanted to name it something else than The Hell Song I Shall Not Mention, but i thought i could let it pass because the main quest IS named that, and also, it’s a pun bc kenny crow is the only good man in my life

i hope you enjoy this nikki!!!!!! happy birthday!!!! ily!!! :D

Maybe Phil should’ve planned this through.

When he said to his longtime boyfriend, “Hey, let’s go to Altissia,” he meant it so he could have a good place to propose, not…

Phil sighs, staring up at the giant carnival. He just wanted to propose, not to assist to a carnival. He had forgotten entirely of what was going on that day. It’s only his luck that one of the most important days of his life had to also overlap with the Choco-Mog Carnival.

“The Carnival!” Dan exclaims with a bright smile. “I forgot this was going on!”

Phil nods. Yeah, he forgot too.

Before he could reply that it wasn’t on his plans to come to the Carnival, a tall person wearing a Chocobo hat and t-shirt stops in front of them, shaking their hands animatedly.

“Welcome to the Carnival!” he says energetically. “Would you like to wear outfits appropriate for this marvelous time of the year?”

“What…kind of outfits?” Phil asks, wearily. The little box on his jacket weighs a little, but since he’s already here, might as well go with it, right?

The guy points out to their right, where there’s a big clothing shop. In the exhibitions, there are two mannequins – one of them wearing the same outfit the attendant is, and the other one wearing…

“Is that a Mariachi chocobo-moogle outfit?” Dan asks, frowning slightly at the exhibition.

“Why, yes! Would you be interested in wearing them?”

“…I gotta admit the jacket is pretty cool,” Dan hums. “Pretty snazzy.”

“Don’t say that,” Phil laughs a little, but nods at the attendant anyways. “I want the shirt, please.”

“Follow me!”

There’s a bit of meddling around, trying to get past the millions of people, until they finally make it to the store.

As he’s changing, Phil takes a deep breath. It’s fine, he can do this. It’s barely 1pm. He has plenty of time to propose to Dan.

He just needs to be in the highest place for when the firework show begins. Maybe his proposal wouldn’t get so hijacked if he could propose in the middle of the fireworks, right?

He wonders if he’s making a bigger deal out of it than he should. He figures, it’s Dan — they’ve been together for eight years now. He shouldn’t be so nervous about this. But also, it’s Dan, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with and for some reason the thought is terrifying. There is always the chance that it’s not what they both want, and it’s scaring him to death.

He comes out of the dressing room with his new Chocobo t-shirt, just in time to see Dan fiddling with the sombrero on his hands.

“You should put it on,” Phil grins mischievously. “It’d look great.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “I’m pretty sure it’d just be straight up offensive. I’m good with the jacket, thank you.” He stares at Phil with a smile taking over his face. “You look like a true Chocobo lover.”

Phil spins around a little, staring down at his t-shirt. “I am a Chocobo lover. I feel like I’m in my right nature, you know?” He looks at Dan up and down. “Your outfit is pretty cool, too.”

“Snazz—”

“No. Come on, let’s keep going around.”

—

For lack of better words, Altissia is breathtaking. Phil hasn’t been here often — not like he can, anyway, he’s busy and Altissia is miles away from Insomnia, but every time he comes around the city keeps blowing him away. Dan’s eyes are almost sparkling with excitement as he looks up all around him.

Phil’s not sure what endears him the most — the city, or Dan. He wants to do it; just get down on one knee and open the box, but just as he thinks that, a man walks between them and grabs Phil by his shoulders.

“My baby chicks!” he yells. Phil frowns, staring frantically between Dan and the guy. “They’re lost!”

“Your what?” Dan asks, grabbing the man’s arms and pulling him off Phil. “Chicks?”

“My chocobos,” the man laments, putting his head on his hands. “I’ve lost my baby chocobos, all fifteen of them—”

“Fifteen?” Phil’s frown deepens. “Why would you bring fifteen baby chocobos?”

“It’s a Chocobo-moogle carnival, boy. I wanna show ‘em off. Please,” he sniffs, “please help me find them.”

Dan and Phil look at each other, and Phil already knows the answer: they can’t say no. Immediately, they’re on their way to find the missing fifteen chocobos.

—

“I think we’re lost,” Dan hums after going up and down the same stairs thirty-times.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Phil says, staring up at the sky. The sun is going down, and they only have found two chocobos — both are on Phil’s arms as he jogs up and down the stairs — and have already gotten lost in the big city. “I think we should go all the way up?”

“You think so?” Dan looks at both of the chocobos in Phil’s arms. “You really think baby chocobos will climb that high?”

Phil shrugs as best as he can when he’s carrying two heavy baby birds. “It’s worth the try.”

“You want me to pick one up?”

“Kweh!” the baby Chocobo says, and Dan laughs as he picks it up. “Kweh-kweh-kweh!”

“I think it likes you,” Phil grins a bit. Dan nuzzles the Chocobo and Phil melts on spot.

He really, really wants to propose right now.

“Hey, Dan?”

Dan looks up.

Phil swallows a bit. “I wanted to ask you —” his eyes focus on what’s behind Dan, upstairs. “Hey, another Chocobo!”

They both rush upstairs, and once they get there, they pick up the new Chocobo, already a bit out of breath.

“What did you want to ask?”

“Um…” Phil backtracks. Why did his nerves get the best of him? “How are we gonna carry fifteen chocobos?”

“…You know, I didn’t stop to think about it.” Dan’s lips form a perfectly straight line. “I think we fucked up.”

—

Seven chocobos later and several bad situations where Phil thought about proposing, it’s 6pm, which means there’s about two hours until the firework show begins. And Dan just keeps getting distracted. Phil loves him and all, but he’d love him more if he stopped ruining his plans every five seconds.

He’s been here for twenty minutes as Dan discusses aesthetics with the lady who runs the decorations.

The lady looks like she’s about to hit his boyfriend. “The instructions say ‘for every kweh, there is a kupo’,” she says, barely holding back her rage.

Dan, of course, isn’t chill. “Yeah, but it’s ugly that way. There’s no aesthetic. Two chocobos and two moogles next to each other on a row isn’t a good choice.”

Phil rolls his eyes fondly. Dan’s passionate about a lot of things, even silly things as how chocobos and moogles should be arranged. His heart squeezes, and Phil wonders how awkward it would be for the lady if he just got down in one knee and proposed.

“Dan, just place the things as the instructions say,” Phil pleads, snapping out of his proposal ideas, remembering the chocobos he’s trying to not let go. “We’re wasting our time. We got eight chocobos to go.”

“But…”

“Dan.”

Dan frowns at the lady for a few moments, but ultimately lets it go. “I hope you know I hate you,” he mutters, but still picks up the chocobos and walks close to Phil.

Phil wonders if it’s possible to love someone more.

—

Fifteen baby chocobos delivered in a basket later, Phil finally gets Dan to the boat to get a perfect view of the fireworks. He tries his best to not get motion sick, but again: much like his plan this entire day, he didn’t think this through.

Dan is sitting across him, in awe at the entire scenario developing in front of him. People are getting ready to see the fireworks, and Dan grows more excited every second that passes. Phil is in love, but also, he’s really sick.

A boat wasn’t a good idea, definitely.

Still, he takes a deep breath, and grabs Dan’s hand.

“So, I want to tell you something. Or, more like, I want to ask you something.”

Dan raises his eyebrows. “What is it? Is everything okay? You’re looking slightly green…”

Crap.

“We’ve been together for eight years now, and I love you, and— there is a giant black thing coming at full speed in that boat.”

“What?”

“LOOK OUT!” Phil throws himself on top of Dan, effectively knocking each other off the boat.

The cold water receives Phil with open arms, and he almost yells, until he remembers he’s underwater and that’s not a clever idea. Both he and Dan resurface, taking a deep breath.

“What the fuck happened?” Dan asks, voice shaking.

Phil turns around to look at their boat. The black figure suddenly makes sense for Phil — and it’s both a betrayal and a shocking revelation.

“Kenny Crow is in our boat,” he deadpans, pointing at Kenny, who’s stretching his legs and downing on a bottle of water without stopping to breathe. “He… he kicked us out of our own boat.”

Dan stares at Kenny Crow for a good solid minute. “Kenny fucking Crow stole our boat.” He stops, swallows, and says in the most broken voice in the world: “Do you know how much money I’ve spent at the Crow’s Nest? I… I can’t ever go back!”

“Is he breathing?” Phil asks, concerned, because seriously — he hasn’t stopped to breathe. He’s still drinking the water.

“I’m not sure.” Dan frowns. “Kenny Crow ruined your marriage proposal.”

“Yeah he—wait, what? How did you know?”

“Well, what other kind of questions begins by stating how long we’ve been together?”

Phil pouts. “You don’t know. Maybe I was about to ask you to let me steal one of the baby chocobos.”

Dan snorts. “You’re right, I should’ve known.” He looks at Phil. “My answer is yes, by the way.”

“To the Chocobo or the marriage proposal?”

“The marriage proposal, you idiot.”

Phil’s heart starts racing, but surprisingly, he feels calm. “That’s great. I’m glad you said yes.”

“Yeah, but I expect an actual proposal back in Insomnia, alright?”

“You got it.” Phil stares down. “Hey, maybe we should get out of the water?”

“That’s a good idea!”

Phil gets to the dock and helps Dan up. It’s just in time as the fireworks start. They both sit down at the edge of it, Dan’s head resting on Phil’s shoulder as they see the first firework go off. It feels like a zoo inside Phil’s belly because he’s technically engaged, but also, there’s peace and warmth when he realizes this is what he’ll have for the rest of his life: a companion who’ll stick with him even when Kenny Crow steals their boat.

Just as he’s about to lean down and kiss Dan’s forehead, Kenny Crow speeds by in the boat, showering them in water again.

“MOTHERFUCKER—”

They’re never going back to Crow’s Nest.