#have fanfic fridays where im allowed to fic and then the rest of the day i have to have actual shit
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also sidenote i cant envision myself getting into things that are actively getting updates thats soooo fucking scary..... weekly new content ppl r gonna b talking abt ? that is intimidating
#'arent you a kh fan at a time when the betas for the new mobile game are happening ' YES. and im scared#will have to so so slowly dip my toes into those waters. also my phones probs too shit to even download ml lol#^ has not even fucking finished com yet#i get scared i get scared!!!!#genuine problem in my life i get scared of reading watching playing actual shit bcos ill have to Have Thoughts and Be Intelligent#so instead i just read watch fan community stuff. which is nice and i liek it!#but bcos it comes at the cost of not engaging in original stuff in my mind its like. tainted#like if you are having fun on ao3 with your fanfic i am sooo happy for u#but i fell into that hole in 2017 and havent been able to get out and its negatively impacting my mental health#mayhaps over the summer i will block the site on my phone n laptop...#have fanfic fridays where im allowed to fic and then the rest of the day i have to have actual shit#idk we shall see
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