#have a nice afternoon friends
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#so one half of the couple i'm house/dogsitting for had an unexpected medical emergency on their trip#which -- i won't go into details but it culminated in a pretty serious diagnosis and emergency major surgery#and now they're coming home today after getting medevac transport back to california#and have asked me to stay here for a few more days while they settle in#as the one who had the emergency needs 24/7 care during recovery but is being released from hospital to recover at home#and they need someone to basically keep looking after the dog/keep her from getting in the way while they figure out what care he needs#anyway i agreed to stay a few days like they asked#which means i'm trying to finish my coursework before they get back later this afternoon but man my focus levels are LOW#and honestly they have been for several days at this point because once again it seems that waiting to hear about medical stuff has become#somewhat of a panic response trigger for me since the extended nightmare of february this year with my dad#and mostly i've been able to compartmentalize but the energy that takes has truly wiped me out#to the point that i'm genuinely shocked it hasn't set off a fibro flare up (touch wood)#also i really don't know this couple very well at all -- they're mostly friends of my parents-in-law#i've looked after their dog for them several times over the past couple of years#but obviously that's been while they aren't home#and i've only had fairly brief interactions with them#so i do feel a bit awkward about being here while they're going through something so serious and personal#but they're nice people and they need the help and i'm able to provide it so i'm gonna push past that#anyway just a tag post venting thing
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i wasn't that sick but I took a couple days off and I am so frustrated with myself for doing absolutely nothing productive whenever I'm home. does that frustration lead me to change those behaviours, however? no!
#like ugh even after just two days back in the routine of lying in bed like a useless potato sack i feel awful#ashamed and frustrated and gross and unrested#still better than before bc i did spend two and a half years doing that 😄 which is awful#but man i picked out my subjects for my senior years and i know i need to make some serious improvements 😭#yet i have not studied at all. i definitely could have however the Rot#when im at home im absolutely useless just lying in bed#anyway its fine im omw to an evening shuft now so its not fully unproductive#but man yeah i get a bit overwhelmed when i have heaps of stuff on after school. but feek worse when i have nothing#the more things i do the more energy i have#i think having one free afternoon is nice. one later in the week too#but otherwise i feel like i waste those free afternoons so it's better to have work or friend plans#or yeah the library i should start going there after school#ugh. whatever it's fine just yeag
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i think my favorite thing about being a creative is listening to a song 400 times, only for the 401st time to be that moment where you think of a new ship you've been fixating on -- and everything changes
#yes i am talking about 'its nice to have a friend' by taylor swift#and applying it to my own personal childhood friends to lovers ships#it just totally rocked my world this afternoon at work
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Another no writing day :’) Tomorrow I’m mostly free, though, soooo I should actually be able to get some work done!
#atp I just really miss writing!#but I’m busy with other stuff#had a fun DnD session today :) and it was SO nice to see my friends#also having car issues so. that took up my whole morning/early afternoon before DnD basically#sighhh#going to sleep and tomorrow will be a good fresh start :) !!!!!!#I’m not worried about finishing my fics (knock on wood)#I just. want to go ahead and actually FINISH them yk#sorry I keep posting about this lol it’s just nice to post my writing/life updates here teehee#okay night!!#chalcy stuff
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I managed to miss two buses in a row this morning, due to Circumstances (and I even RAN for the second one so that was for nothing) which is v annoying, but to make myself feel better, here’s some wins from this past weekend:
- I went back to one of my organising things after my 3 months out, and it was actually very lovely! saw tons of people I haven’t seen in ages which was great.
- I was stuck on a crochet thing and therefore was avoiding my crochet buuut I was extremely brave and figured it out and fixed it and I no longer have to avoid my crochet.
- cleaned some boots.
- went to my favourite cafe a whole two (2) times, even took a walk, honestly winning.
- did some planning to sort out some commitments for the next few weeks.
so like. maybe I can survive missing the bus/being 20 fuckin minutes later than I wanted to be/getting stuck in traffic/having to be on the bus with dozens of children. I haven’t been this late yet this year soooo it had to happen eventually.
anyway, I wish upon you all the best luck of not-missing-buses. may your tuesdays get off to better starts than mine.
#text post#my post#it’s actually pretty lucky that I don’t have that much planning to do this morning#so it’s not like. disastrous#just annoying and inconvenient and my knees hurt for what yknow#but it could be a lot worse#also last week was a bad week for buses in the afternoon#like I got stuck or had to wait ages pretty much every day#and this week both yesterday and today there was bus drama in the mornings#so I’m a bit suspicious#anyway the weekend was really really good actually#I got so many little things I’d been putting off done#and like. it’s so nice to go somewhere and recognise so many people and they’re all there and you get to see them and hug them???#it was great#we love Friends#yesterday and today are meant to be my Chill Days this week#as I have A Lot on for the tail end of the week#so I am going to Channel Calm and not be annoyed about the bus#I can do this#ok I’m gonna stop rambling in the tags now
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After Thanksgiving
#I spent thanksgiving with my friend last minute#that’s one of the good things about living in a city- I’m only 15 minutes away from my friends#I’ve never met a cat that likes being picked up and tossed around as much as hers- he’s such a cuddle bug#it was nice to just have a sleepy afternoon the next day watching movies and eating leftovers#I don’t think I quite captured my friends likeness… maybe I’ll redraw this one for real in my nice sketchbook I really like the composition#happy thanksgiving#sketchbook#sketching#sketch#pencil#graphite#graphite sketch#pencil sketch#pencil study#life drawing
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ok i think i figured it out👍🏼
#got a later train so ill get there later than i wouldve liked but whateverrrrrr. whatever.#i will still have the afternoon and the two days after that to be w my friend(s)#i feel like this yr it wont be as nice bc one of them wont be there. and the other one will bring friends.#if theyre the same friends as last yr i might as well kill myself. they are pijas and also only speak spanish (aka refuse to speak catalan)#and i did not enjoy their company at aaaaaalllllll#idk i might even leave earlier if that friend has different plans w those friends or something#next yr i should invite a friend or something. idt ive ever invited a friend from zgz to come to the village#but its mostly bc i wanna be able to speak catalan there. and having a friend from zgz impedes me from that😭#z xarre
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it's my birthday and all my friends are away for spring break or at work, so i walked myself two miles to the farmers market and stopped at a little free library on the way. saw birds and bugs and cats and babies, bought myself radishes, mustard greens, and a little winter squash. the sun is out and everything is just starting to bloom, and i'm actually happy even when i'm alone
#🪶#i do have birthday plans lined up with friends today and next week#but it's good that if i put my mind to it i can give myself a really nice afternoon
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Aaaaaaaa tattoo???????????? Maybe??????
#I reached out to a tattoo artist last night and she got back to me this afternoon#and I’m !!!!!!!!!!#I’ve never gotten this far#I’ve just dreamt about it for years#and never actually taken the next step#and I haven’t like booked an appointment or anything#but I’ve contacted her and confirmed her books are open and she would be interested and on my basic description about what price range#holy shit#my whole chest tightens up and I like panic response any time I think about it#and my friend had to sit on the phone and encourage me to hit send on the email#and I don’t know if that’s a sign I should just not do it but also I’ve wanted one for so long but do I actually or just the idea of one????#but also!!!!! I’ve had so many fucking god damn needles in my life#it would be kinda nice to finally have some that I CHOOSE#anyway!!! maybe getting a tattoo this winter????#maybe????#I haven’t booked or anything yet but#I rlly like her art style and her books are open during the window I’m home#idk how to navigate this around my mom while I’m home but#I think I’ve almost settled on a black line cecropia moth on my upper inner left arm#anyway I’m freaking out and I can’t tell if the terror out ways the excitement or what I’m actually afraid of#I’m not gonna get it before thanksgiving for sure bc that’s too much attention for the once a year we’re all together#and if I wait until mid December then my sibling will be home to go with me too tho Ik my friend would go with me if he’s home too#but anyway anyway anyway anytime I think abt this for longer than a few seconds my brain shuts down and I can’t breathe so#first I gotta parse what that reaction means#Im a rambling sam
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I think it's really cute when you talk about how much you love your friends and bf <3
🥺🥺🥺 thank u stephanie 🥺🥺🥺 sometimes i hesitate to talk abt it bc i feel too mushy or annoying LOL but sometimes the love just wants to make its way out yk 🥺🥺🥺
#they r truly my pillars 🥹#i have a really good friend i’ve been running w every wed n sat morning#and he’s been my rlly good friend for a long long time so its crazy that#the things we used to bond over have evolved#and i keep thinking back to all the days we had sad breakfasts together cos we were both Going Thru It in high school (LOL)#all the way to now 🥺 figuring out our lives#running in the morning and having coffee right after#working in some coffee shop until mid afternoon 🥺#IDK!#i just think its so nice 🥺#bad-as-the-boys#ask#rep
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forgot how much i love fanvids. i used to spend so so much time on youtube watching them and i'm kinda falling back into that habit now. there's sooooo many good st ones out there too. people are so creative and the editing skills and attention to detail are amazing
#i wish i was patient enough and had the talent for video editing#but if i can't make something look nice most of the time i just give up jdfnkjds#if you are reading this: i'm Trying to do a rewatch and i'm doing a new little series#one gif per ep/one set per season#inspired by a set i saw in a recommended post one time#i'm actually kinda liking how it's looking and i'm having fun with it#excited to post once i finish s1...#i'm on ep 4 :)#first rewatch since s4 friends#my brain and i are enemies atm#lex talks#good night/good morning/good afternoon/good timezones etc 💖
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youtube
#diana's music diary#good afternoon I'm very tired...#yesterday was okay enough.. maybe even good? Lancer was fun! Ophelia messed up really bad and now the crew is in danger!! yay!!#didn't do all that much else really... I was so exhausted and idk why... I've been so so tired lately... more than my usual eepiness...#I don't know what the exact reason is too it's like... I'm sure I got enough sleep... I had a headache and stuff too so maybe that?#well whatever... I still haven't decided on changing urls yet... today I woke up after like 3 or 4 hours of sleep so my brain is melting#spent an hour looking for a part for my coffee grinder cause I needed it for something (something that isn't coffee)#I couldn't find it so I ended up using a knife to cheat it into working... which worked well but was a little bit more messy n.n;;#I found a couple of nice things when I was looking at least!#a rarity plush an ex gave me and the jacket Sheila gave me years ago... I should clean them up they got a bit dusty from my last move...#anyway later I'm going to try to have some fun... will maybe hang out with friends or just vc with my partner... idk...#the thing I had to get up now for should be done by later at least 😊 let's keep making today good and fun even while eepy n_n;
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Maybe tomorrow I can see more TMTYLM ??
#it’s been such a busy weekend help#but Good! saw my friends today had breakfast talked biblical stuff had lunch together came out of that so encouraged#then met some new people in the afternoon they were so nice it was so good#absolutely exhausted now tho and i do have to be up early again tomorrow so. good night <3#elly's posts
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#Allowing myself a mid afternoon wallow#about still not having found My Person#I’m just… so tired of looking#and not feeling like anyone is looking for me#My FWB thing is on borrowed time#bc he’ll be moving for work soon#and god damn am I dreading that#it’s been really nice to have even a temporary#and non-romantic Thing#w him#and we’ll stay friends#and are both open to traveling/hooking up again#but still#sad today 😔
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i just love love. i love to feel love. sometimes i find myself overflowing with love. it's purifying and intoxicating at the same time. i love love.
#i just don't necessarily feel the need to do anything about it. it's just a feeling. or a way of life idk#it's like oof love love love. you know? that's it. but also it's everything. it's simple. but it's overwhelming. which is good.#and because the feeling itself is so rewarding why would i want to do anything about it you know?#this is me trying to explain what being aroace feels like to me#i do feel love. so much of it. i feel it when the sky is purple in the late afternoon and when a baby smiles at me on the bus and when a#tree sways in the wind and i think it must be so nice to be so firmly planted yet so free and graceful.#i feel it when a student gets something right and when i look at my favourite character online and when i read a good line of poetry.#i feel it when i'm around people i care about i feel it when i have a warm cup of tea i feel it when i'm playing music.#it's all love. overflowing and transformative. every time i feel it i become more at peace with the world.#why would i want to do anything about love like tell someone i wanna be theirs exclusively when i feel the same (beautiful#and beat skipping) thing about a warm bath and my friend's cat taking a nap against my side on the couch ?#it's not about the having it's about just feeling it. just saying it. i think#rain.stuff
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Pain. Agony
#i guess i am going to the iabca show this weekend since i was invited to help out.#but the next akc show i am being pulled in 6 different directions and so scheduling must be done.#onofrio!!!! please!!!! it is less than 2 weeks away!!!!!#counts are as expected. i know most of the dogs entered in breeds i care about*#(* i care about all breeds but i only watch a few im genuinely interested in owning)#but i think there are going to be conflicts and these conflicts are going to be annoying to plan around#beauces SHOULD go first thing in the morning which would be awesome. if gsheps go directly afterward - awesome.#then i need to groom and be ringside for roughs. hopefully they go after lunch or just before.#but my friends would like some help with borzoi which i love to help with. but borzoi often go around the same time as roughs#late morning/early afternoon#and i need to set aside plenty of time to shoot the shit#i should honestly just get a hotel with someone instead of a 5 hr#drive/day#back and forth for two days#i should really go fri through sun for the specialties but i already took friday off the following week to volunteer for an independent#specialty#it really is incredible how one year ago i was looking for a dog show to go to - any dog show - and all i could find was one collie show#infodog you have changed my life in many ways.#oh and i am going ukc mode in november which will be fun. a friend might need some help with her girl (who i am obsessed with)#i dont like ukc as much as akc but it is nice to see klee kais and ambullies and silkens#its just too relaxed/unstructured 🤣#obviously i like to know a plan WELL in advance.. lol
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