#have I mentioned how much I love the libertines?

[memberofthejazzclub]

I CAN’T STOP LISTENING TO “SHIVER.”

[holybibly]

girl i really dunno how to ask but ummm i...i mean WE need more preacher/saint/priest content....oh i just thought priest yunho with some cnc and bdsm........and maybe some watersports....oh. my. god. i died. my eyes are only seeing some whips, punishment and a lot of sin. bye.

Hi, honey, how are you? I really spoiled you, didn't I? But it seems that everyone is just as crazy about hot priests/pasors,preachers, and nuns as I am. Woo was hotter than hell when he was a priest, don't you think, bunnies?

I've already mentioned that I'll be doing a sequel for each member, but I'll tell you more so you can look forward to my updates.

Below I mention religious, hierophilia and church related topics. Bunnies, please refrain from reading if such content makes you uncomfortable. You have been warned!

Beware of False Prophets Demon San x Reader

Everyone in your town has been talking about the arrival of a new priest. The parishioners have been on their knees in praise of Pastor Choi San ever since he walked through the doors of your little church. He was devout, quiet, and, for a priest, incredibly handsome. He quickly became the object of admiration and wet dreams.

And you were not left out. The way his cat-like eyes would sometimes linger on you during Mass, or the way your name would roll off his tongue when he addressed you, made you blush with shame, not only at the dirty thoughts in your head but also at the fact that your panties were getting too wet just by looking at San.

But little did you know that Pastor Choi San had much more forbidden and depraved intentions towards you than that. Not all that glitters is gold, and not everyone is a saint who wears a holy robe.

It is said that one should beware of false prophets, for good intentions lead to hell. Or maybe the demon San will disguise himself as the new pastor of your church and try to tempt you into committing a sin.

Are you callin' me a sinner? Priest Yunho x Widow Reader

It was never in your wildest dreams that you'd be a widow at such a young age. Less than three months had passed since you got married when your husband tragically died, and this became the talk of your small town.

People walked past you, looked at you with disgust, closed their doors in front of you, and pointedly ignored you as if you had committed some mortal sin, which is probably what they thought you had done. You were so young and too beautiful, and your husband... Your husband was a man much older than you. You loved him; you really did, and losing him destroyed you. Your husband left you a huge fortune to inherit, and people whispered that you killed him to get money and to take a lover. Some even said you made a pact with the devil by killing your husband in return for your unearthly beauty and money. They said that you were a sinful brat.

Your only comfort at that time was faith, and you spent all your evenings in prayer and penance. One day, your housekeeper advised you to contact the priest, Jeong Yunho, describing him as a pious, compassionate, and gentle person who always showed mercy to everyone and granted the desired forgiveness of sins to all the troubled hearts. But she neglected to mention that Yunho was also an incredibly handsome young man who was more likely to tempt you to sin than to help you atone for it.

"I will help you get rid of your sins, my child." His hoarse voice whispered in your ear as he let the dress fall from your shoulders and down your back.

"I am going to cleanse you of the sin and the impurity of this world." Yunho said as he put a blindfold over your eyes and tied your hands behind your back.

"The only way you will be able to atone for your sins is through pain, and I will help you with that, my dear." He said this, accompanying his words with a lash of his whip across your bare skin.

Say yes to Heaven Pastor Yeosang x Libertine Reader

You never wanted to have anything as much as you wanted to have Kang Yeosang. He was handsome. He looked like an angel. He was everything that you ever wanted to sink your teeth into. He was your church's pastor. And that was what drove the hell out of you.

Yeosang was a simple man—an incredibly sweet and gentle man—who always helped his parishioners find the right path and to find God in their hearts. You, however, could brag about an endless list of sins and vices that you proudly displayed, like your favourite red lipstick. If given the chance, you would paint the whole town red, but mostly you wanted to see it smeared around Pastor Yeosang's handsome cock while you deepthroated him. The two of you came from completely different worlds—a saint and a sinner—but you had always believed that opposites attract.

Every mass was a game of seduction for you, and you wondered how far you could go before the angelic halo over Yeosang's head would crack and he would fuck you senseless. Although you had doubts that he could do it, you had a feeling that he was a virgin and would probably faint at the sight of a pink, wet pussy in front of his pretty angelic face. God, the boy was so holy and inexperienced about sex.

But how wrong you were about him! There are always two sides to every coin, and you will learn from experience that there are some desires that are better left as fantasies. Or the one where Pastor Yeosang fucks you to the last inch of your life and teaches you the concept of out-of-body experiences through orgasm.

Me and the Devil Lucifer Seonghwa x Reader Nun

From the day your parents took you to church for the first time, you knew that your life would be one of devotion to God. Of course, this was not the destiny your family wanted for you, but they still supported you on your way to becoming a virgin bride.

The convent where you lived to prepare for your vows was far from home and did not have the best reputation. But the priest of your parish convinced you that it was there, and nowhere else, that you could know God. And he was right; you did know God, but it was not the God to whom you prayed every night of your life.

It all began with dreams. Dark and unholy dreams came to you more and more often. The cold hands of a stranger sliding over your skin, a hot tongue exploring your body and lips as if sin itself were branding you with kisses, all ending with the first rays of dawn. Then this strange cat appeared and would not leave your side for a minute. But what frightened you most was the disappearance of the other nuns. One after the other, they vanished without a trace, until there were only a few novices left in the convent.

The night you took your vows was dark and moonless. So were the eyes of the dark-winged angel who appeared before you. It was as if he were woven of pure sin, depravity, and rage, oozing from his skin like ichor, and the rustle of his wings was the very sound you would hear before your death. But Angel, Lucifer, Seonghwa—call him what you like—came here with one goal: to finally get his bride.

"Do you have faith that your God will be the answer to your prayers, my beautiful bride? Do you believe that he is going to save you?" Seonghwa's lips touched your cheek, and his burning breath flowed across your skin. "You belong to me. Your soul, your faith, your body—all of it belongs to me. And you will accept me as your husband, dear child. Or you will say goodbye to your life at dawn."

There will be a separate post for Mingi, Jongho and Hongjoong. I am going to leave you in suspense, my little bunnies.

There's no harm in a bit of intrigue, is there?

[insecateur]

I'll be standing tall (La Maison-Dieu)

A 10 songs bilingual Sycamore/Lysandre playlist (in honor of Pokémon X&Y's 10th anniversary)

(Unfortunately, I don't use Spotify, so you'll have to make do with this YouTube playlist or look for the songs yourself. But do look under the read more for Lyrics Excerpts and all of that.)

Why a bilingual playlist? Well because I'm a bilingual guy, for a start, and because my experience with Pokémon X&Y in general and this ship in particular has always been bilingual as well (even trilingual, arguably.) I wanted to put together some of my favorite songs in English for them and introduce English-speaking fans to some of my favorite French songs for them, too. A lot of those songs are songs I've quoted, mentioned, or even used as inspiration for art and fic.

(Why is Augustine on the English side and Lysandre on the French side? Because I thought Lysandre would be offended at the idea of being on the English side while Augustine wouldn't care about it as much.)

SIDE A: ENGLISH

Sunburn by Muse

He burns like the sun And I can't look away And he'll burn our horizons Make no mistakes

This is the classic, quintessential PRFR song for me. Its only crime is that it's het, sung from the point of a view of a man singing about a woman. That pesky little detail cannot stop me, however.

Without You I'm Nothing by Placebo (feat David Bowie)

I'm unclean, a libertine And every time you vent your spleen I seem to lose the power of speech You're slipping slowly from my reach You grow me like an evergreen You've never seen the lonely me at all

Do I even need to say anything about this? I listen to this song when I need to make myself Suffer thinking about them. Oh to be unable to bring yourself to say something about your beloved friend's downward spiral...

Hardest of Hearts by Florence + the Machine

Darling heart, I loved you from the start But you'll never know what a fool I've been Darling heart, I loved you from the start But that's no excuse for the state I'm in

My friend sent me this song saying it was about them and they were RIGHT. Shout-out to my friend for that. I like how it can be alternating POV, too.

Changes by The Happy Fits

I try to run away but I find myself, again Stuck in the same place Who will I be today? I can't control the world or change it

This one was suggested by @jonphaedrus and I'm really happy I could have its contribution in here as well. This is very meaningful to me.

Celebrate by Metric

Even the darkest hour soon will be over My friend, it will be over

I couldn't not put a Metric song in there! It was tough finding the right one... But I thought putting a more optimistic spin would be nice, too. I actually associate this song with SLaWCS specifically as well, which is a nice touch.

SIDE B: FRENCH

Pâle Septembre by Camille

Mâle si tendre Au début de novembre Devint sourd aux avances de l'amour Mais quel mal me prit De m'éprendre de lui ?

Did you know? This song is the reason why I associate Lysandre with the Tower arcana. Or at least, it's what put the idea into my brain first. This one is also a quintessential PRFR song for me.

7 Vies by Kyo

La vue est magnifique Contemple-la tant que tu peux La lumière alcaline Le bien, l'ennemi du mieux Tant que le temps défile Tout doit se vivre à deux Je pratique le langage des signes Et celui du feu

I think I should be allowed to include some more vibes songs in there, although I'd argue this one fits them well. It's a bit abstract, but it fits.

Tout donner by Maître Gims

Tu es ma maladie Ma guérison quand tu l'décides Mes nuits s'illuminent J'en confonds le jour et la nuit

A desperate, self-destructive pining song... What else could a man want in this world. It's very tasty. I think about those lines way too often.

Aimer à mort by Louane

L'espoir qui joue, le feu, le froid Un souffle au cou, baiser de roi Pour nous reprendre, pour nous défendre Pour se comprendre chaque fois

Another intense but more optimistic one. I want to believe... I want them to believe as well...

Rouge Ardent by Axelle Red

As-tu trouvé, dans les feux, dans les flammes Ton idéal rouge ardent As-tu froid As-tu peur de l'aurore Tu disais "tout s'évapore" Tu as eu tort

It's a song about being in love with a failed idealist. And also the color red is there. What more can I say. (Also, this time it's originally a het song from the POV of a woman singing about a man, which ties it all neatly together, I think.)

Happy 10th anniversary to all my fellow shippers, young and old, new and ancient, whether you were in the trenches with me back in October 2013 on this webbed site or you joined us in 2021 with the Pokémon Masters revival, thank you for loving them always. Here's to loving them more and more in the future, and here's to the Pokémon X&Y remakes as they become clearer and clearer on the horizon. (And maybe we'll get a Legends game, too? Wouldn't that be something...)

[waterloo-to-anywhere]

i don't think self-titled has ever been a consistent album for me. there's something so sad about the way it was made, never given time and care in the studio, never properly toured, always reflected on with difficulty and a certain amount of bitterness. self-titled was made during a time where none of its creators were happy, and the cracks show up in the music itself. it's not Up the Bracket, where arguably every track is a flash of brilliance, that incredible storm-in-a-bottle sort of album. self-titled peaks at ridiculous heights, then careens into the ground on the very next track. and it does that, over and over again.

but here's the thing:

i will always take the album with the higher highs over the more consistent one. it's a personal preference, but i find these imperfect albums so interesting, so colourful and vibrant with all their flaws. in a way, with all the highs and the lows one could say, i feel like self-titled might be their album that feels closest to the sea voyage that they seem so fond of. and without that captivating, magnetic album cover, i don't think i would have ever wanted to know more about the band. so i owe it that, at the very least.

with this one, i'll always remember reading some johnny borrell (may i never need to mention that name again) quote about how 'up the bracket had some real masterpieces, but they got too self-referential with this one, it's too much about them.' he's not alone in thinking this - it's a common viewpoint, one that seems to be held by many who think that they have 'only one good album'.

they're so, so, wrong though.

all i can think is, how can you not understand? if it was any other band, then maybe, but haven't the libertines been about the self-mythologizing, the capital R Romance, the self-referential storytelling, from the very start? who are they if not these fame-hungry chancers that lie too much for their own good and make you feel like the world might actually be an interesting place? you step onto their good ship albion, and they graciously offer you a part of their world, with a startling amount of openness. their world. their stories.

because self-titled is them, it's their story in all its pain and anguish and raw beauty, and that's the whole point. it's not a perfect album, but then again i've never been drawn to a perfect story.

happy birthday to The Libertines. i love you so, so much.

[georgieluz]

Hey Jules! 2, 9, 14, 19, 24, and 28 for the HBO War positivity ask game please ☺️

hi lou!! ofc ofc!! :)

2 - who are some your fav creators/mutuals?

i love all of my mutuals and every creator in the fandom bc everyone is just amazing!! but to list just a few @footprintsinthesxnd, yourself!! (@luckynumber4), @ep6bastogne @lamialamia @thewayisset @lewis-winters @jenkil @mads-weasley @hellofanidea @liptonwashere @malarkgirlypop @panzershrike-pretz @sweetxvanixlla @whollyjoly @samwinchesterslostshoe @next-autopsy @iceman-kazansky @heystovepipeboys @theflyingfin @cody-helix02 and many many more!

special shout out to the cult!! zim zam, my friends, zim zam!!! also i'm so sorry if i forgot to tag anyone!!

9 - a ship that you can't get enough of?

bradnate, andyeddie, snurgie, ronnix, lipluz, webgott, and no matter how much winnix i consume it never gets old so them too!

14 - your fav underrated character?

ooh this is always hard bc everyone classifies underrated as a different thing.. are burgie and harry underrated? if so, them! chuck grant, tab (this man is so loved he's can't be underrated but i couldn't not mention mr lover lover himself), alton more??? one of the most interesting easy co men for sure!! wish we had more of him (lol)

19 - what's your fav universally-accepted/fanon headcanon about a character?

ooh either all the nix childhood fanon or the andyeddie ghosts/afterlife/grief fanon.. yeah.. that hits the spot

24 - what wip from another creator are you most excited about?

all of @ep6bastogne's wips (yes i read all your tags about them in utter anticipation), @luckynumber4's burgie wip! anything @footprintsinthesxnd writes! same with @lewis-winters ALL of your wips sound so so sooooo up my street/my thing!! there are so many more but despite my plans to spend the day at home i actually have to leave the comfort of my bed and brave the cold outside, and i'm late already so i'm gonna have to stop listing, but it's very likely that i'm excited for almost every single wip any of you guys have!

28 - what's something that lives in your brain rent free and you want everyone to know about the show/the fandom/your works?

outside of hbowar??? oooh i have LOADS of things!! the thick of it!! it has such clever funny writing, the best dialogue and political satire ever, because it's just so true to life and accurate for uk politics. peter capaldi is fucking amazing in it! and you'll see a lot of uk actors that are famous for other things here. but yeah, it's just hilarious and witty and clever. love it. go watch it. ummm other than that, the korean band onewe!! please go listen to them, they are ridiculously talented and have the kindest most lovely and accepting fandom in the world. in fact, the hbo war fandom and onewe fandom are the only two fandoms i've ever felt happy and comfortable in. onewe write beautiful songs with the most gorgeous lyrics (they have a space series which is one of my all-time favourites). ALSO pride (2014) as a movie recommendation! this film is my comfort film but it tears me apart as well. some people watch it for the queerness and come away learning about welsh history too.. for others, it's the opposite. but as a welsh gay man for me both those elements are so important to who i am and my own identity, that this film is just feels so incredibly special to me. especially the character gethin who i really feel i can relate to a lot due to our circumstances. tim roth is someone who i always wanna shout about and who lives rent free in my head too. love that man so much. also the band the libertines!! because them and the strokes were my entire teenage years and i pretty much grew up with their music as my 'soundtrack'. ok i think that's enough, even though i definitely have way more to shout about. sorry i rambled!

for this ask game!

[subdee]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @hxhhasmysoul, thanks munen for always thinking of me even though I haven't written anything for like... a year.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

27

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

153,197

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Hunter x Hunter and Final Fantasy VII (original 1997 game) are the main ones, and then there are a few others that are either old or that time I wrote historical RPF for yuletide.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

(All five are T-rated  Hunter x Hunter fics.)

1)Freecs Adventure Travel Co.- I think this is because it’s tagged ‘slowburn’ and recced on a list with other slowburn fics…  I have this drafted out to the end, it has one more chapter left (and it’s not really a slowburn, aha).  A post canon Killugon reunion fic + Alluka. 

2) Paper Ties – This is a short oneshot about Killua/Alluka/Kalluto originally written for a secret santa exchange.  The writing’s just okay, but a lot of people have this bookmarked and I think it’s probably because they like my explanation for why Kalluto knows nen at the start of HxH, but Killua doesn’t.

3) On a Cold and Snowy Night- A Killugon There Was Only One Bed oneshot originally written for a valentine’s day exchange.  I think people just really like this trope. 

4) There's a Light That Never Goes Out  - It’s another post canon Killugon reunion fic, this time without Alluka (or she’s mentioned, but offscreen).  Listen, HxH fans love reunion fics! 

5) Dungeon x Hunter – a finished multichapter AU where Killua, Gon, Leorio and Kurapika are college friends who play Dungeons and Dragons together.  Inspired by something a friend said forever ago about how Kurapika is like the ultimate DnD rules lawyer min-maxing all his stats. 

...Actually except for On a Cold and Snowy Night, what these all have in common is that they’re among the first things I wrote after I rejoined the fandom.  So I think there’s just a network effect here where people are finding them via bookmarks. 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always reply right away, I spend the day after I post anything refreshing my inbox basically. 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Either my FFVI Barret backstory fic Corel Days or the one I wrote for FFVII Halloween with prompt: Annihilation.  Those both had the Major Character Death tag on them and like… no one clicks on them.  Haha.  They’re sad because of the character death but also sad because they’re about climate change and fans just aren’t generally here for that level of downer.      

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics end either happily or ambiguously besides those two, but I’d call Dungeon x Hunter my most “nothing bad happened” story where there’s not really much conflict, and when there is conflict it’s resolved quickly. 

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Never, and I don’t really get spam comments either… maybe once or twice I’ve gotten requests to write a particular pairing but like 99% of the comments I get are really lovely positive ones from other writers. 

9. Do you write smut?

 I haven’t because I’m lazy and smut is hard to write….There’s a fade to black sex scene in my Frederick the Great Space AU and actually, an implied sex scene in my forever ago Libertines AU where Carl Barat turns into a cat, but that’s the closest I’ve ever come.  Most of what I write is rated T. 

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have written crossovers!   It was a long time ago, and they were mostly short what-ifs, like, what if Arthur Dent met Light Yagami?   I think it’s more fun to imagine the crossovers in your head than to actually write them, they don’t usually have plots but it’s fun to imagine how the characters would interact.    

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so?  I’m not really that popular. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Actually yes, I think?   Someone translated a Death Note fic a long time ago.  It’s not on Ao3 though. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, actually!  My Libertines AU where Carl Barat turns into a cat was co-written by the lovely 0_clay_0 who was my favorite writer in the fandom at the time.   So that was pretty great.  She lives in Germany and I went to visit her once, any of you guys out there wondering what the appeal of writing RPF is, it’s that you can meet amazing people who live all around the world if you’re both really passionate about the same thing. 

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Probably Killugon, but I’m getting nostalgic for the Pete/Carl fic as I write this post, haha.  I think the writing in that fandom (Libertiens RPF) was the best of any fandom I’ve ever been in, by a long shot…  Ranma/Akane (Ranma ½) also has a strong nostalgic pull for me. 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

I’m gonna finish Freecs Adventure Travel Co, I swear!!!!!   That’s my only posted (to AO3) WIP… most of what I post are oneshots because I know my own limits. 

16. What are your writing strengths?

Varying my sentence lengths.   Also filling in backstory and gaps in the canon, and writing 'densely' so there's multiple ideas per paragraph.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Anything that requires effort: plotting, dialog, action scenes, sex scenes… Most of what I write doesn’t require me to think that hard about what I’m doing.   

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If it was in-character I would do it.  There’s a certain kind of reader that would enjoy the challenge of having to look up the translation, some people like it when you make them make an effort.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It was Naruto... now THAT is a WIP I’m never going to finish LOL.  

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I’ve said this before, but it’s my Pariging Coffee Shop AU.   I like how Ging’s character came out, he’s not really the same Ging from canon but it works.  And it’s kinda funny?  I’m always writing close to canon but I like reading AUs more, so I'm happy I finally wrote one that's fun for me to re-read.

I'm supposed to tag 20 people for this... here goes! @fury-brand @rosemochi @cateringisalie @nautilusopus @voidcat-senket @recents @ladycrescentvenus @mysterypond @dimensionten @clood @cafeaulater @storybookprincess @dodici12 @cocoa-bop @rabbitprint @kiwizoom @autumnxsunflower @ishouldgetatumbler @fireolin @minimoonstar

[fruitzbat]

There is this bizarre mischaracterization problem with Kingsley in the CR fandom that I think shows a certain level of contempt for the character himself — and honestly, I think it’s really revealing about a troubling hallmark of conditional support of nonbinary people in real life, which I find beyond hypocritical given…well, let’s get into it.

For starters, I'm not bothering with leaving a disclaimer about how not all fans do xyz or why I think that anyone should listen to me over anyone else. We’re adults here, we should know that things are nuanced by now. I also think talking about my own qualifications here is silly and masturbatory given that this is fandom and I'm very much doing it for free along with almost everyone else, so I'm not gonna waste the space.

Getting into the exceptions and such is well beyond the scope of this post, and I frankly don't think anything I say in this will convince anyone of anything — I just need to get it out there. If any of does change your mind, great! Icing on the cake.

*eyes glowing* anyway,

Given the admittedly considerable amount of work I do relating to his character, I wade through Kingsley's character tag a lot, and in many different places. On here, on Twitter, on AO3, his tag is full to the gills of bits of people writing stories in which he steals up to a certain member of the Nein and showers them with gifts and forehead kisses and...for lack of a better term, 'Mollyisms', and lays there enraptured while they talk about their relationship with Molly — who, obviously, is him. He's called "circus man" and is unbothered by it; it's testimony to the fact that this person and Kingsley have a history that transcends silly things like death.

Thus, the general depiction of Kingsley within the fandom is one that is not unlike Molly's, if not a 1:1 replica: a fun-loving, carefree libertine whose sun often rises at a certain other member of the Nein's forehead and sets are their toenails. He's curious about his past lives, but sees minimal distinction between them and himself.

And that's utter motherfucking hogwash.

The thing is, Kingsley's not an act II of Molly. He’s arguably a very different person from Molly, and the drift in Molly’s canon and fanon depiction is an essay on its own (not to mention the shift in perception in-universe, also brilliant and fascinating in its own right).

And I sincerely want us to think about that oversight in the same vein as if there were a considerable amount of Critters making content about, say, Beauregard Lionett falling in love with a man when she's explicitly a lesbian. Like, to me, it is that dire. And I will explain why that is momentarily: once I finish talking about who he actually is, and one of the principal culprits that I blame for this schism.

"But fruitzbat," some people might cry. "But fruitzbat, we have so little to go on. He's hardly shown himself on stream and he does, in the end, come from Molly!"

To that I would reply "skill issue," because Kingsley very much has distinguished himself from his siblings. Fandoms have extrapolated way more about a character with far less in the past. I didn't live through Superwholock on this website for anyone to tell me that they can't pull a fully-fledged character out of one episode of something. With all due respect, git gud.

Kingsley is a hustler and a cutthroat. He's driven, micro-managey — like, PAINFULLY Type-A, and interested in staying alive and making a name for himself; but in contradiction with this sense of self-preservation, he’s also ready to impulsively give himself up for a greater good and/or "make new mistakes", which can be read as altruistic at its best and unhealthy and self-deprecating at its worst (a trait which he definitely shares with Molly). In commenting on his new outfit, I’ve shitposted in the past that Kingsley is frum, but it's really not that far off. He doesn't like to leave things to chance, and also strongly believes in taking care of his own — he notably takes excellent care of the Nein Heroez’s crew. He doesn't suffer fools, he's snarky (too many examples to list them all, but have a few of my favorites), and also thoughtful and analytical and a skeptic. And most of all, he’s eager to learn and curious ��� not just about Molly and Lucien, but in general.

He jokes about being Lucien at one point, but makes it very clear that it's not him when people in his life make that slip-up. He's also been making the point that he’s not either of them as early as the campaign finale. And within the special, too, it’s pretty unambiguous. And then there’s Taliesin himself, also making it very clear that he’s a separate animal and on top of that, that he’s an absolute fucking badass.

And as mentioned, it's true that there's overlap with some of Molly's business — he's theatrical and loves fashion, for instance. But honestly, this character has far more in common with Lucien than he does with Molly. Lucien, who spoke multiple languages and lead a mercenary group into Aeor and back multiple times. Lucien, who even the mere prospect of him being resurrected was enough to reassemble the Tombtakers. If that’s not the makings of a Plank King, I’m not sure what would be.

And here's another thing: "Kingsley came from Molly" in and of itself is a misnomer. Based on both the stream and the addendum from the Lucien novel, Kingsley is mostly the reforged soul of Lucien — Molly's soul fragment was reintegrated into the rest of Lucien's. Kingsley is what was born from that fusion. When interceding on the failed Raise Dead spell, Caduceus said "put it back...whoever it was." There's just as much potential to say that it was Lucien's soul returned to that purple body by Melora as it was Molly's.

In all candor, I think it has a good deal to do with how many vocal Molly fans wanted Widomauk to be canon or somehow endgame.

The inherent tragedy of the dynamic between Caleb and Molly is that there is a constant specter of what could have been. Neither encountered each other when they were at a point to pursue their attraction, and Molly was dead before anything could come to pass. As a passive observer, I think that this what could have been has bled into the fanon interpretation of all kinds of purple tiefling content, mostly because there's so little to analyze otherwise. One only has to glance at the tags for the Lucien novel or the Molly origin comic to see what I mean. And I think that this has also significantly impacted the fanon depiction of Kingsley.

I find that this fandom in particular has a huge problem with sacrificing characterization in the name of fanon archetypes and tropes, but due to the distinct nature of Kingsley’s character this can veer into…I mean, pretty ugly territory.

People love the reincarnated lovers trope, and I see that applied here the most, to which I always want to remind people that Kingsley is probably more like a joined Trill. He has these past lives and memories, but just like Ezri isn’t quite Jadzia isn’t quite Kurzon Dax, Kingsley isn’t Molly isn’t Lucien. Ezri didn’t hop up and get busy with Worf, even when Jadzia had been his wife. Far from it, actually. Similarly, Jadzia had an entire exploratory episode dedicated to encountering Kurzon’s spouse and deciding that she (regretfully for lesbians everywhere) felt differently.

It’s true that it’s not completely baseless; I’m genuinely not saying that. It’s true that one of the first things King did was flirt with Caleb when he woke up. And then when he’d come more into his own, there was all that wild talk they had during the…

Oh wait, that’s right. They didn’t speak one on one even once during the reunion. So the argument could easily be made that in the chunk of the stream that showed us the most about who King was as a person, he didn’t touch Caleb with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole. Meaning that at this point in time, the basis of the ship is predominately Caleb’s relationship to his elder siblings.

I don't have time and ultimately have no interest in unpacking that in terms of it being solid foundations for a romantic relationship — we all can read, baruch hashem — and will also assume that there’s content about that dynamic that explores that weirdness with all the complexity that it deserves. But my central point here is that I’m seeing vanishingly little of it, and far more of it being used in a way that denies Kingsley his own identity. The point isn't hating on a ship. Widoking in and of itself is fine, the point is that people aren't actually shipping Kingsley with Caleb. They're shipping him with someone wearing the skin of his dead older brother.

Which brings me to my next point...

I find this aspect to be incredible given the extraordinary way that this campaign explores trans identity and narrative. Plenty of other folks have written about the extent that campaign 2’s focus on identity as a theme has resulted In one of the most comprehensive studies of several different types of trans stories. Like, VETH?!?

BEAU?!?! Not to mention FJORD’S UNRELENTING T-BOY SWAG?!?!?!

And yet.

And, yes, it is that deep. Let me explain.

Molly and Lucien are canonically genderfluid. Kingsley hasn't come out as anything yet, so the jury is still out... though many people, myself included, headcanon that he's some flavor of not cis.

For me, this is because Kingsley’s narrative is arguably more a traditional trans one than Lucien or Molly's: being born with the expectation that he would be one thing, then coming to his family — who hold that expectation quite dearly — and asserting that he is someone and something else completely different from that. Lucien and Molly are trans characters, no doubt, but their stories are not about being transgender. And there is an intrinsic quality to King's that definitely is.

The notion of "trans narrative" is also something applied to someone like Nott/Veth, even in a world where transness is not stigmatized. So while transphobia is not a thing as we understand it in Exandria, that doesn't change that Kingsley “came out” and transitioned in a more recognizable way to us than Lucien or Molly ever had to — in the same light as Veth arguably struggling with her self-image in a way that many trans viewers find exceedingly familiar.

If we can apply the queer critical lens and think of Fjord being a trans guy deconstructing toxic ideas of masculinity, or of Beau being a trans girl dealing with transphobic parents that wanted a son, got one, and cast her aside, we can also use that same level of discernment when it comes to Kingsley. There's precedent.

I don’t mean to get personal here, but the flat out dismissal of Kingsley's identity as an individual and not as the sum of other parts reminds me so much of my own experience of having come out as non-binary and then telling people that I was going to start HRT. The support dried up almost immediately the minute I made it clear I wanted to switch pronouns again and pursue medical transition, though I still conceived of myself as effectively genderless.

So long as you’re fun and funky and trans in a way that isn’t obtrusive, it’s fine. Well, “fine” isn’t the right word, but people are so fucking terrified of you becoming one of “those” trans people and taking the scary hormones and changing your body and getting the surgeries. It's the cousin of that perennial TERF talking point of "why can't you just be a tomboy/effeminate gay guy". As if being a tomboy/fem guy is somehow easier, too!! But I digress. To a lot of folks, Kingsley can be whatever he wants..........so long as he doesn't reject Molly as a foundational part of him, if not the, and heaven help him if he diverges from the mold Molly left for him.

For this reason (and for other transgender reasons that I don't want to get into), that has made engaging with a lot of this faux-Kingsley content difficult. Because Kingsley came out! Kingsley has told everyone who he is and what he's about, and folks are ignoring that in favor of an interpretation that centers a different person's existence entirely. And with this coming from a group of fans that tends to trend towards being trans, too, that's quite the bitter pill.

Creatively, I firmly believe that people can do whatever they want forever. And everyone has the right to make content where their Barbies scissor. I, for one, also am 100% guilty of it in other contexts. That doesn't bother me.

What does bother me is a collective delusion where a significant chunk of the fandom, in missing their tragically dead non-binary character, effectively stuff a separate one that resembles him back into the closet without noticing the cruelty of doing so. In fact, relishing in it.

And while these people are fictional and aren't real and can't feel pain aside from what we inflict on them narratively, it gives me pause about the way this trend mirrors common transphobic behavior I have experienced as a non-binary person myself. Thus, I cannot possibly watch it happen and not feel compelled to say something about it.

In essence, Kingsley has told us time and time again who he is and what he's about. If we say as fans that we respect the narrative integrity of Campaign 2, I think it's important that we listen and honor that.

[ddarker-dreams]

You’re writing never ceases from fascinating me and I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while now, but could you perhaps give us some book recommendations? There’s no fixed criteria, nor any fiction or non fiction preference, I really just would like to know what sort of books you enjoy and how they’ve impacted you!

Sorry if there’s any grammatical errors, I don’t use English quite often and my apologies if you’ve answered this question before and I simply did not notice :’)

your english is excellent, don't worry!!! thank you so much for your encouraging words, i really appreciate it 🥺💖💖💖

as for books i'd recommend, you can check out the definitive list here, but i can expand on the impact my favorites have had on me!! i don't think i've done that yet, at least. i'm always down for an excuse to gush about my favorite books.

“I think the devil doesn't exist, but man has created him, he has created him in his own image and likeness.” The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoevsky

ah, my favorite author, who i mention on this blog frequently. TBK takes the crown of being my absolute favorite book. it deals with themes that resonated with me personally, since i grew up in the christian faith and have experienced no small share of skepticism with what was essentially my childhood foundation. while there are plenty of intriguing themes explored throughout this work, dostoevsky's take on the age old question "if there is a god, why does he allow such terrible things to happen, and if such a god exists, can he really be called 'good'?" is a sight to behold. he takes the question very seriously and doesn't settle for simple platitudes to explain it away. at its heart, TBK is deeply human, delving into our flaws and triumphs.

“I admit that twice two makes four is an excellent thing, but if we are to give everything its due, twice two makes five is sometimes a very charming thing too.” Notes From Underground, by Fyodor Dostoevsky

the novella's protagonist, the underground man, embodies some of our more unsightly thoughts and beliefs. he's openly bitter, resenting the 'common man', while secretly pining for the simple joy they're able to live life with, unburdened by being overly self-aware. it's a fascinating look into how self-contradictory people often are. one of the themes this story tackles was a philosophy gaining traction at the time, determinism. through the underground man, dostoevsky posits that humans are not so simple as to always take the best course of action for themselves, as rational egoism would claim. trying to understand people by thinking they'll always act in their best interest, while a nice sentiment, just doesn't match with what we see in reality. people are weird and do weird things, sometimes just for the sake of it. dostoevsky has such a solid grasp on human nature and how confounding it is.

“You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.” The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

there's nothing like a good ol' fashioned fall from grace. here we get to see the slow yet steady degradation of innocence into depravity, the highs and lows that come from it. the conversations between dorian and lord henry are some of my favorite dialogue exchanges in fiction. there's this wry social commentary, sharp wit, and undeniable charisma. it's almost as if we the reader are being seduced by lord henry's libertine inclinations in the same way dorian is. oscar wilde is another author who has some of my favorite prose. he knows how to paint a scene with words. it's always such a delight to read his work.

“I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.” Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley

gothic elements and references to alchemy? i'm running at top speeds. i loved watching this tragedy unfold. frankenstein's monster was always my favorite perspective to read from. his handling of the curse of being created, his initial naïve desire to belong to humanity, then the burning rage upon his unfair rejection... it's so eloquently written. even as he devolves into committing cruel acts, i still felt sympathetic toward him, and similarly lamented 'what could've been' had people been kinder. it's a classic for a reason.

“Thus each of us had to be content to live only for the day, alone under the vast indifference of the sky.” The Plague, by Albert Camus

albert camus is a very fascinating author to me. i'm especially interested in his absurdist philosophy, there are a lot of beats to it that i find appealing. maybe it's due in part to recently experiencing the covid 19 pandemic, but man did this book hit close to home. beyond the metaphysical themes of just living in a world that doesn't care about you and how to handle that realization without falling into despair, it also mirrors a lot of what we saw these past few years. an initial reluctance from positions in power to acknowledge a plague outbreak, the wide range of people's responses (trying to live on as normal, turning to religion, turning away from religion, looking for a way to make profit, looking for a way to help others...), the steady numbness to seeing numbers that represent those taken from the plague every week. camus just nails it. at the same time, the book isn't overly pessimistic or optimistic. there aren't any gallant heroes or nefarious villains. there are just... people, doing what they can, in spite of overwhelming circumstances.

“I was pretending that I did not speak their language; on the moon we spoke a soft, liquid tongue, and sang in the starlight, looking down on the dead dried world.” We Have Always Lived In The Castle, by Shirley Jackson

shirley jackson's prose... i can only describe it as magical. it tickles the brain. right from the beginning, we have a tale of intrigue told from an unreliable protagonist who, throughout the story, you slowly get the sense is somewhat off. there story feels dreamlike in a sense. it's rooted enough in reality where your suspension of disbelief isn't shaken, yet there's also this uncanniness to it that makes for a unique experience.

[skzdarlings]

Darling!! How are you? I hope you’re feeling SUPER GREAT because I’m so happy to see MY BELOVED Verisimilitude on my dash again! It was my intro to your blog, and it still holds the best place in my heart :’)

I think I relate so much to the mc bc I grew up in a pretty reserved family and used books and academics as my coping mechanism. EXCEPT I don’t have a playful, romantic, thoughtful, artistic, and crazily handsome Hyunjin in my life HAHA. Having this kind of Hyunjin  is exactly my fantasy tho (lol can’t believe I’m saying this unanimously >,<).

You wrote this so beautifully! It’s poetic yet comical and heartwarming. Truly exquisite! MY COMFORT READ! And your wit! You’re a genius! I cracked up, then went 'ooh' at your wordplay, and then smiled wildly, only to crack up again. How can a story feel so alive with just two main characters (aside from some brief mentions of family members and the ex-bf)? And both of them are so likable!

I’m a sucker for very likable characters, just like mc and Hyunjin here! Big, big green flags!! (Aren’t they? At least, I think they are). 

I love how healthy their communication is, how mc sorts through her thoughts and feelings, and how confident she is about their mutual feelings after thoroughly analyzing the situation. You might think she overthinks, but I see it as a healthy way of processing that doesn’t sabotage herself.

And Hyunjin—very gentlemanly, respectful, and emotionally intelligent (despite being kinda rakish libertine, haha). His demeanor, infectious giggles, and fashion sense here perfectly suit irl Hyunjin. I can hear his lively laugh vividly in my mind every time I read this fic. 

I adore their bond and dynamic! A pragmatic and modest girl x a funky yet soft-hearted boy—perfect combo! Man, I love this fic soooo much! Thanks for writing this, darling! <3 <3 <3 

oh my gosh i saw your reblog again, thank you so much 🥹🧡🧡🧡 that makes me happy to hear it’s your comfort read, it was a comfort write if that makes sense haha I love coming back to these characters. along with accidental acquisition and the bodyguard, i think it’s my favourite piece of mine. oh it makes me so happy to see it so enjoyed 😊🧡🧡🧡

thank you so much for reblogging and messaging, i appreciate it so so so much!! you’re so kind and i wish you well. thanks again and take care! 🧡

[retiredtothebriars]

@tradedsymmetry​ was interested in hearing my thoughts on different qualities of music (thank you!!) so on these things I brought up in the tags, plz excuse the thought dump: Melody I can’t explain why melody is so important to me, I think this is a very personal thing. Maybe because my mum only had two albums, a Michael Jackson album and an ABBA compilation album. I went for the ABBA album, but idk if it was innate because from the beginning my favourite song was Chiquitita, which is probably one of their richest in melody. I like that kind of “soaring” melody - it feels like it just lifts your whole spirit with it. My fave Perfume Genius is full of it and he knows how to orchestrate it to maximise those. All my favourite artists write great melodies.. Beirut - Zach Condon has talked a lot about how melody coming first for him. You can’t understand him half the time. Cocteau Twins! You can’t understand them all the time. Sigur Ros! Even Fall Out Boy as my first favourite band - the melodies on FUCT and IOH are gorgeous and I don’t think they would have been my favourite band otherwise. MCR similarly. Death Cab’s Plans is so simple but so moving and I think it was mainly the melody (and the lyrics). Rhythm is entwined with melody but I’m not as aware of it unless I hate it (I hate a constant crotchet/half note melody, it’s like banging your head against a wall. Oddly, although my partner is a drummer, he seems not to be bothered by this at all). There are a few notable instances though. I love when everything just stops. And there’s something incredibly satisfying about triplets. That opening rhythm from Be My Baby by The Ronettes I think is one of the most striking and eternally referenced rhythms. And speaking of the Ronettes, I wish harmonies were more at the forefront these days. I have to mention the Beach Boys if I’m talking about melodies and harmonies don’t I? Anyway melody is just absolutely indispensable to me. Many people have recommended to me Beach Fossils for the vibe and the vibe is solid but the melodies are bland to me (soz). If I don’t like the melody I simply don’t fill connected to the song.

Tonality and chord progressions

Now here I really wish I knew more about chords but I only have the knowledge of a music school dropout. There are some chord progressions that are SO beautiful, and I wish I could identify them. I will happily eat up that 1-4-5-1. But a beautiful chord progression can really make a moment. The Libertines/Peter Doherty’s bands have gorgeous traditional chord progressions...I feel like there’s something bluesy about them that makes them so but I’m not sure. Mitski REALLY opened my mind with her unusual - I don’t know if these are  chord progressions or just dissonances - on Geyser and A Pearl. It’s so powerful. I’ve always leaned towards the minor keys. I find something kind of sickly about the major keys and a complete lack of dissonance. I hate Mozart. I find it childish. Too much dissonance is intimidating and alienating, and requires work. I (affectionately) hate Bartok. Debussy is that beautiful middle ground for me. So for contemporary artists I name Owen Pallett and Bjork. I’m on my 5th listen of Fossora and I feel as though my ears are finally accepting it. In addition to dissonance, there is plain singing and playing off key. PAVEMENT - how do they do it and sound so good? Going back to melody - I want to mention Dirty Projectors here because they have some of the weirdest and most dissonant melodies and harmonies I have ever heard, in addition to being incredibly sparsely textured. I am constantly in awe of how it works together. Vibe - timbre, texture These three things really give an artist their unique sound. I think for me that the vibe of a song is a very transporting thing. There are artists I listen to with the intention of being taken somewhere, or some time - Hawk and A Hacksaw, Beach House, The Cure, New Order, Wavves.

I remember being completely taken by Not Sure by Hatchie feeling like I was in a Lizzie McGuire movie, in a more compelling way than any of the actual songs in Lizzie McGuire movies - I think this is a notable song because those other aspects like melody and rhythm aren’t so strong on this song but the vibe is SO strong (and I am SO disappointed by the rest of that album). But I will happily listen to a song that doesn’t have a strong vibe. Vocals This is mostly timbre but I’ve also been thinking about this lately since someone posted about it - I appreciate when artists aren’t afraid to not sound pretty. Screaming, crying, etc. makes me scream, cry, etc. I refer to my fever dream obsession with Pulp. Honorable mention - Conor Oberst/Bright eyes. Dashboard Confessional. Actually, yeah a lot of emo bands hahaa I feel like most bands will Go For It live though. Production On thinking more about this, I think production may be one of those aspects you don’t appreciate unless it’s really really bad (unless you make music yourself). When it’s so terrible you can’t hear any of the other qualities of the song properly or it’s so clean and squeaky it’s cloying. Absolutely absolutely hate when a heavy band has clean production. Why does your distortion sound manufactured. wtf Lyrics Now I appreciate lyrics but it’s completely dispensable to me. I’ve noticed this lately - there are some lyrics I hold so highly eg, Paterson & Leo by Pinegrove - but when I go to look at them, I’m surprised at how simple and un-evocative they are on the page. I still think these are great lyrics - but they need the melody to bring them to life. Another one of my favourite songs goes here - Waterloo Sunset by The Kinks. would love to hear your thoughts too. anyway this just makes me so excited to listen to new music!!!!

[seekforwarmth]

hiii, lou! 💜

honestly, i love giving comforting hugs, because most of the time i don't know how to react when someone is having a bad time. i'm really empathetic, but at the same time i easily find solutions for other people's problems. when what they need at the time is just to mourn and calm down. 😓

yes, when the time comes, i would love to see what blogs you have in mind. 👾

oh, i love angst at all. it's just sometimes the pain is too much. but if i'm being honest, i easily lose interest if everything is just fluff or the couple gets together too fast. 🫣

let me guess, you only like louis, harry and one dee? i can't wait to see what songs you have chosen! and i have been always thinking the songs we listen to show what kind of person we are. it's like you get the memo before even talking to someone. that's why i don't usually show people my playlists. 🦄

well, about the astrology, not only one sign makes you who you are, but a lot of different signs working with each other. also, i kinda get this. i usually prefer listening when i don't want to talk about myself. but at the same time i'm like harry when someone asks me questions i don't want to answer. talking about anything else, but not the topic we are currently discussing. 😄

i hope whatever is the reason about you not being allowed to drink coffee is not something serious and you feel better soon! and i love hot chocolate so much. i don't like coffee. i prefer tea, matcha or hot chocolate. 🪁

i think in our next spanish lesson you should teach me how to say "i love chocolate", because i can't live without it. 😋

my questions for the day: how many fics are you planing to post this year? and what keeps you motivated to write? ☔️

hope you have a lovely friday,

- your secret valentine ☺️

hi love!!

i never know how to react either, i just offer if they want to be listened and that’s it. i’ve only comforted my family when we’ve lost someone but that’s as far as i’ve gotten.

(i don’t have any blogs in mind but i’ll look for some.)

ohh i like both i think. i like it when they go through a lot of things to be together but also when it’s just them loving each other since the beginning. i guess it depends on how things are said for me hdkdhd

yes, i only like them 🤭 and before i forget about it, here are ten songs to know me better:

the view from the afternoon - arctic monkeys

music when the lights go out - the libertines

ocean’s deep - born ruffians

hometown - twenty one pilots

beautiful disaster - 311

wait for it - leslie odom jr (hamilton cast)

fireproof - one direction

headline - louis tomlinson

satellite - harry styles

everywhere - niall horan

i think that’s why i prefer listening, so i don’t have to talk abt myself, and bc sometimes i stumble with my words (idk if that’s the right expression lol).

it’s nothing serious, don’t worry! it’s something to do with my brain, i was a bit ill last summer and now it’s just a measure to not get back to that heheh we can share a mug of hot chocolate sometime!

okay, if you want to say “i love chocolate” you can use the pronoun for “i” which is “yo” or you can skip it since the verb already indicates you’re talking in first person. “yo amo el chocolate” or “amo el chocolate”. yo is pronounced like in english, amo = ah-moh, for el it’s like when you say elephant, and chocolate you already know ;)

i’m posting two fics this year. my friends keep me motivated but not in a pressured way but i want to write to make my friends happy, that’s the reason i started writing fics in the first place. since i can’t give my friends gifts for their birthdays (or just because), i decided to write fics for them. currently i’m working with a friend on something and i’m having so much fun but i’m mainly doing it to see her happy. 💗

you know, i originally wanted to ask you your top 5 louis songs and then i linked it to the movies so i mentioned soundtrack lol but i’m still curious if you want to share?

have a nice day!!

[raplinesmoon]

An Age of Oddities (Jung Hoseok x F!Reader)

Part of Undisclosed Desires: An Anthology

pairing: nobleman!Hoseok x f!reader genre(s): fluff, smut, angst, drama, mystery, slight horror au(s): based on Don Juan by Lord Byron word count: 6k warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, brief mentions of a robbery, Hoseok is a fuckboi with many conquests that he likes to delve into detail about, Hoseok lusting after married women, brief mentions of a duel society people being rude and snobby, a ghost story?, hunting is mentioned, brief religious mentions, Hoseok nearly takes someone out but... you’ll see. smut warnings: implied streaking, girls love giving Hoseok blowjobs, fondling, deep throating, floor riding (is that even a thing), ruined orgasm, oral (m and f receiving), gagging (with fingers), fingering, light exhibitionism, Dom!Hoseok, brief unprotected penetrative sex rating: 18+ 

summary: Jung Hoseok is a wealthy, raucous libertine who takes pride in his ability to be able to seduce any woman. Roaming through Europe, he stumbles upon conquest after conquest, his carefree and sensuous lifestyle capable of beguiling everyone he meets. Until he meets you.

a/n: Ahhhh it’s here. Hoseok had me working on demon time because the more and more I wrote of him, I couldn’t stop. His story is so so much fun to write, and I hope you can see the literary parallels between him and Don Juan, but also the creative twists! Special thank you to @yoon2k for helping me brainstorm the ending since the original work was left unfinished (love you Fi and I hope I did your mans justice). This is unedited for now!

Taglist: @miscelunaaa​ @shameless-army​ @firesighgirl​ @sunshinerainbowsbts​ @seokjinger-ale​ (sorry if I missed anyone!)

listen to the playlist!

Among the vibrant rays of the setting sun, pale specks of dust filtered through the air, carried away by the wind. Hoseok felt the grand urge to cough. London was such a grimy city. No sooner than when he had stepped off his carriage, he was accosted by some innocuous old chap, brandishing a rusted blade.

“Your money or your life.”

Where he came from, back in Andalusia, money was your life. A low chuckle escapes him upon remembering the statement, recalling how the robber had scurried away the moment he’d reached into his breast pocket, pulling out a few notes. So much for the virtues of the English. 

He wonders if he’d been too hasty with his charity and if he should have instead implored the man to see reason, that harassing wealthy strangers on the street would get him nowhere. But the thought leaves his mind as soon as it enters. That wasn’t what he was here for anyway. 

Straightening out the creases in his jacket, Hoseok walks to the end of the street, awe-struck by the row houses that seem to close in on him. For a brief moment, he misses the Spanish air, and his guilty mind flashes back briefly to a swell bosom and pretty tendrils of dark hair, causing his cock to stir in his pants. Sana. 

The last letter he’d received expressed that she had no regrets for what happened between them. But that had been a long while back when he was still in the throes of his youth. He hoped the convent was treating her well, and that Don Taeyong hadn’t come back for more revenge. Streaking through his garden in the dead of night after he’d torn his garments to shreds had been more than enough embarrassment for Hoseok.

He pauses in front of the last row house, peering through the windows as the lively tunes from the ensemble float out the window and into the night. The Ohs spared no expense for his arrival in Britain it seemed, despite his insistence that he could meet Lord Sehun at the country estate.

A woman passes by him in the night, turning to look at the handsome, solitary figure standing outside the mansion block, honey-colored skin glowing brighter than the fleeting rays of the sun. Hoseok can feel her gaze burn into him from behind, and turns to her with a smirk. Her painted lips are parted slightly, eyes nothing but hollow pools of darkness. Checking his pocket watch, he realizes he’s egregiously late to the soirée. It seems there would be no fun to be had tonight. Giving her a wink, he turns back, heading inside. 

The polished lilt of the music is overpowered by the frenetic din that erupts at the arrival of its guest of honor. 

“There he is—”

“The libertine?”

“I heard he seduced an empress…”

Hoseok’s lips twist upwards at the last comment as he wades through the sea full of pearls, plumes, and silk. No seduction had been necessary on his part. Lisa had nearly fallen to her knees with one look at him, promoting him in rank and Hoseok, a wayward youth from who knows where, had suddenly grown into the man his mother had always wished he’d be. All those years of education: history, philosophy, religion, they’d all paid off in that moment. And they’d paid off behind closed doors too, as Hoseok remembered her pink, swollen lips and tear-streaked gaze when she choked on his cock.

Shaking his head, the fog of his time in Russia dissipates, and he cranes his neck, looking for the hosts that were awaiting his welcome. 

“Don Jung!” A loud, boisterous voice bellows, and Hoseok turns to see a handsome, tall, stern-faced man approach, accompanied by a slender woman in elegant pink silk.

“Lord Oh Sehun, pleased to make your acquaintance,” the man offers his hand, his grip so tight Hoseok wonders if he’s engaged in a handshake or a wrestling match.

Lord Henry finally lets go, and Hoseok shakes out his hand, watching as the other man directs him to the lady by his side.

“My wife, Lady Yujin,” he gestures, no sooner than Hoseok had picked up the lady’s hand, greeting her with a soft kiss. A soft sigh escapes her throat, one that goes unnoticed by her husband, but rings loud in Hoseok’s ears.

“So pleased to meet you, Don Jung,” she remarks, her voice reeking of the polished sophistication he’d come to loathe from English society. Why couldn’t they just let loose and have a screaming match once in a while? The Russians had been far more entertaining. 

“The night is yours to enjoy, our dear friend,” Lord Sehun claps him on the back, pushing Hoseok back into the crowd.

Hoseok strides through the mass of people, more graceful on his feet than the scores of people who line up to dance with each other. The whispers continue, women turning from their partners to gape at him, which then provokes the haughty, envious gazes of men. But Hoseok was used to people being jealous of him. It was an unfortunate reality he’d grown up with, men ready to draw the sword if Hoseok so much as gazed towards their wives. And so he’d learned to keep his head down, and let them come.

As he draws towards the fringe, pausing by the window, he hears a chorus of giggles from behind him.  Immediately, a gaggle of women descends upon him, launching into a flurry of introductions.There’s a madam someone, followed by a lady something, and a duchess of anything.

“Have you any brothers?” an older dame asks, her sharp eyes trained on him, no doubt inquiring for a daughter in the crowd. 

“Unfortunately, I’m an only child,” he counters, amused at the way her face immediately falls.

“Don Jung!” One of them squeals, her eyes growing wider. “We heard you speak many languages. Do tell us, what is the more romantic language? Russian or Castilian?”

Hoseok nearly scoffs at the inquiry. Surely these smart, well-educated women had to be joking with him? But no, their eyes were trained on his figure, breaths held in, awaiting a response.

“Well, uh, Castilian is what I’m more familiar with, but personally, I think it’s not about the beauty of the language, but more about the beauty of the speaker,” he winks.

“Will you sing to us in Spanish?”

“Show us how you dance?”

“What are your thoughts on Keats?”

He stumbles through their questions, all of his tutor’s lessons flitting in and out of his head at the moment. The confidence in his words, however, captivates their attention, sparing him the embarrassing admission that he cared little for their academic pursuits, much more focused on which one of them he’d lure to bed tonight. 

Before he can make a move, however, Lady Yujin is upon them, swishing her skirts and shooing away the crowd. 

“Don Jung must go now, ladies, I’m sure you’ll all have the chance to converse again,” she smiles, and there’s something pointed and sharp in her expression, despite the baby pink of her dress. “We leave for Norman Abbey and the countryside in the morn. There’s much to look forward to there.”

The countryside air appealed to Hoseok much more than the stuffiness of the city. Norman Abbey was beautiful, its tall, formidable structure reminding Hoseok of the cathedral in Seville, and he suddenly felt himself longing for home. Wondering how his mother was, he remarks that he hasn’t heard from her in a while. Would she be proud of the man he’d managed to become? Wealthy, smart, educated, who traveled and indulged across the entire continent, with stories from every city.

Shaking his head, he lets out a low laugh. She’d probably nag him about why he wasn’t married yet, despite his thirtieth year of life soon approaching. Sighing, he clasps his hands behind his back, pausing to marvel at the view.

A small lake lay in front of the abbey, its crystalline waters sparkling against the sunlight, from which numerous species of wildfowl drank. His eyes followed the stream that fed the lake, the soft ripples against the water’s surface creating a soothing, babbling song, as it gurgled towards the woods, disappearing between the trees.

From behind, the house stood proud, the grand Gothic arches swooping and giving ways to alcoves that hid statues of devotional figures that Hoseok had lost all care for long ago. Society and life itself was governed by the hidden natures of men, and those natures, where they were concerned, always revolved around two things. Sex, and money. 

More curious were the hallowed halls of the manor, long and winding, the stained-glass windows coloring everything in an eerie light. From a simple walk through, Hoseok marveled at the Oh’s impressive collection of art, recognizing a few works that he’d seen while touring through Italy. Stranger yet, were the various statues and suits of armor that decorated the never-ending corridors. Their presence gave Hoseok chills, for he feared their eyes would come alive at night, roaming the halls, looking for souls to torment.

Well, it was a mighty fine matter that Hoseok stayed locked in his room at night. Now, if only he could find a companion to accompany him to bed, and soon, the ghosts would be all but forgotten…

More peculiar than the abbey itself were its owners. Lord and Lady Oh were unlike any other couple he’d ever come across, so straight-laced and sophisticated, yet also mysterious.

Lord Sehun was easy enough to figure out. Politics was the man’s entire game, as he always paused to clap Hoseok on the back annoyingly and rant about the latest goings-on in the House of Lords. He always spoke loudly and proudly of his various friends in politics, but to Hoseok they seemed more like hidden pawns in Sehun’s game.

Nevertheless, he’d struck up a friendship with him, Sehun showing an interest in Hoseok’s travels, using his experience as an envoy to draw up various memos and scrolls detailing Anglo-Russian relations, having Hoseok read and comment upon each and every word. The sessions left him bored, wanting for more. His only form of entertainment would be Lady Yujin stopping in to drop off some tea, laughing and conversing with him, drawn in by the warmth he exuded.

Speaking of the lady herself, Hoseok was fascinated by her. Yujin moved so politely and gracefully through society, a queen bee in her own right. She was loved by all, beautiful, wealthy, reminding Hoseok much of himself. Yet, he saw the sharp political mind that lurked underneath the surface, far more impressive than her husband’s. Yujin was in the business of building relationships and tearing them down just as quickly. Anglo-Russian relations could learn a thing or two from her shrewdness.

He’d long been contemplating beginning an affair with her, the depraved ache in his loins growing at every swish of her skirt when he watched her pert ass leave the room. He’d seen the passionate soul that brewed underneath her prim demeanor, and he yearned to rip through the shreds of her disguise and expose the debauchery. He couldn’t be the only one longing for some scandalous action in the household. Yujin herself was restless in her “pursuit” of him, always asking Hoseok if he had any future plans to marry, suggesting that she knew many “impressive young women” that would catch his eye. When in reality, all she wanted was to control him, another piece on the chessboard underneath her slim fingers. And if there was one thing Hoseok hated, it was being at the mercy of anyone. His spirit was too restless to spend his life’s pursuits in matchmaking and dilly-dallying.

Excusing himself, he retires to his room, determined to catch some rest before their dinner party tonight. For Hoseok, the affair would be fruitless, yet another tarnished reputation under his belt, leaving him with a brief ephemeral gratification that never seemed to linger. Besides, the Ohs were an imposing duo – all of London society was at their beck and call. He was sure they’d sink their claws into him, draining all of the fun from his hedonistic pursuits the moment it began to impact them negatively. Brushing away his thoughts, his eyes flutter shut. But his sleep was a restless one, for Hoseok could not shake the feeling that he was being watched somehow.

The notice had gone out in that morning’s Post that the Ohs were to host another soirée to celebrate the receipt of their new guest at their countryside estate. 

And so, nearly thirty-three of London’s elite descended upon the Abbey, clad in their Sunday best. A coterie of nobles, much like the Ohs in disposition, composed of various dukes, and lords, and duchesses, clad in the finest velvet and silks, the gold filigree on their garments subtly hinting at the expanse of their wealth. 

And yet, there were characters within. A swordsman, prone to showing off tricks and stunts with the blade that rested at his hip, an orator who spared no occasion to launch into an impassioned speech about the state of the country, twin lawyers who looked so identical it was uncanny, but whose demeanors could not have been far more different.

Lady Yujin had spared no expense when it came to the feast, the table full to the brim with various delicacies that when combined, created a fragrance so divine, Hoseok could have sworn he was in the land of milk and honey. 

But, he’d been put in a rather precarious position you see. Seated at the table, a predicament had begun to brew. For on either side of his, he had the most riveting company. On the one, there was the voluptuous Duchess Hye-jin. One look into her sultry eyes, and lower still, and he knew she’d had enough trysts and love affairs to rival himself. When he turned and asked about how she and her husband were doing, her eyes blazed, whether with anger or with lust, he could not have known.

“We stay happy and out of each other’s way,” she said, voice sickly sweet as she batted her eyelashes, and he could have sworn he heard Lord Juyeon cough from across the table.

On his other end, a subtle character, but one that doesn’t pose any less intrigue.

“This is Lady ____,” Yujin had introduced him when he came to take his seat, declining the hunt with the men for favor of spending his time around women, whose conversations he found far more interesting.

Duchess Hye-jin you were not. Where she was loud and brash, evidently obvious in her opulence, you were more reserved. Simple was a word that came to mind when he first dared to characterize your demeanor, but he brushed it off, considering it far too limiting for your appeal.

As he turned to introduce himself, an upturned smirk on his face, he was taken aback. For your eyes were wide and you were looking at him. Not in the conventional sense one looks at an object right in front of them, but really looking at him. Those glassy eyes bore into his soul, and he felt unsettled by the flash of sadness he saw lurking in their depths.

“Are you liking England?” you asked him, your voice sweet and musical, like the song of the nightingales that had begun to croon come the sunset. 

And he stops, heart threatening to beat out of his chest. No one had ever asked him how he liked it here. Of course, they’d been interested in him, in his travels, in his talents. But never his well-being.

“It’s nice, of course,” Hoseok’s voice wavers. “Lord and Lady Oh have been nothing but welcoming. But I miss home sometimes. The sun shone so much brighter over there. Or maybe I’m just getting older and prefer to spend my time indoors.”

You laugh quietly at that, and he’s once again amazed at how different it is from the bubbly giggles he’s normally used to.

Leaning in towards you, he feels you shrink from his intense gaze, breath hitching in your throat. Now he feels more at home. 

“I heard Lord and Lady Oh have quite the impressive collection of books in the library? What do you say we go take a look?” he whispers in your ear, voice dropping low.

From the other end of the table, he can feel Yujin’s eyes on the back of his head, knowing her pretty face is probably flushed with anger and jealousy. But Hoseok was sincere. He wanted to spend time with you. You’d caught his eye, with your lack of embellishment and austerity. It was so… refreshing.

“We’d better not,” you respond quietly, eyes flitting to the other side of the table, and he feels his heart drop. “It would be disrespectful to Lady Yujin.”

Soon enough, you’re swept into a conversation with your seatmate on the other side, and Hoseok stews in jealousy, with not even a wink from Duchess Hye-jin able to quell the strange feelings that have risen up within him.

The bright morning light sears into Hoseok’s pupils, causing him to nearly stumble out of bed. For a moment, behind his closed eyes, he’d seen a lovely face peering into his own, and wondered if you’d come up to check on him after last night’s festivities, where he’d gotten a little too drunk and flirted up a storm with Duchess Hye-jin. 

However, he soon realizes it was all a dream, populated by a figure he hadn’t thought of in a long while. Yeji. For a moment, he remembers the salt in the sea breeze and the warmth of the sun on the island, and lets out a deep sigh. It had been the closest to love he’d ever felt with another woman. There had been nothing tying them together, the two of them hadn’t even spoken the same language. They were driven only by passion. But overtime, he’d grown to care for the girl, until he found himself captured and shipped out to sea by pirates, Yeji lost to him forever.

Her innocence and childlike curiosity reminded him so much of you. Both of you had the same, optimistic outlook on human nature. But where Yeji had been the bright, tall flames of a bonfire, you were the quiet flicker of a candle. Both capable of inducing warmth, but in very different ways.

He dresses quickly, hair mussed as he pads down the staircase to where breakfast was being served. Much to his surprise, many of the guests had stayed the night, including Duchess Hye-jin. Probably for the hunt that was occurring later today. His heart skips a beat when he realizes you’re among them.

At the breakfast table, you smile and nod along with the conversation that’s occurring, and Hoseok feels sad when he realizes no one is including you much. He longs to make you laugh like he had last night, where your teeth had poked out in an adorable, albeit not very ladylike fashion. 

“Don Jung,” a sultry voice echoes from behind. Hye-Jin. “Will you not show us your talents during the hunt at least? Your presence has been very missed on the dance floor at all of these events.”

“You haven’t even seen the half of my talents,” he counters with a wink, as your curious eyes watch him from the other end of the table. 

“Very well,” the duchess responds. “We shall see then.”

The chorus of ooohs and ahhhs that follows during the hunt is not unknown to Hoseok. Throughout his life, he’d gained the reputation of being the most admirable company. He supposed it was the happy, jolly air he put on, always ready to entertain at a moment’s notice. 

After one too many pats on the back, he decides to escape the suffocating crowd, venturing over to the stream, where he sees the swish of blue by the water’s edge.

“You’ll dirty your dress if you fall in,” he says, causing you to jump up in surprise. “We wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

“Don Jung,” your voice is shaky eyes flitting to and fro. “I am sorry, I did not see you approaching.”

“Do I scare you?” he asks sincerely, curious as to why you shrink away, so unlike any other person he’d met. Normally, Hoseok was the center of attention, always dialing up his charm to win the hearts of all. 

“No! Uh, of course not,” you respond quickly. “Why aren’t you over there with the others?”

“Because I want to be here, where the air is clear and the water is clearer, in the presence of a most beautiful lady.”

You smile politely at the compliment, eyes turning to the smooth pebbles that line the stream’s bed, picking one up and offering it to him. 

The two of you skip stones for a long while, silent but drinking in the presence of each other’s company. Your aloofness is quite becoming, Hoseok discerns, lost only in trying to get the stone across the water in as many skips as you can. For a brief moment, terror strikes in his heart. Were you really not attracted to him at all? A strange pain rises up in his chest, almost like he can feel his stomach free falling in air. 

“Thank you for the company, Don Jung,” you wipe your palms on your dress, turning on your heels. “I should be getting back now.”

“Hoseok,” he interrupts your leave. “Call me Hoseok.”

He offers his arm out to you, and is pleasantly surprised when you take it, twin smiles lighting up both your faces. 

“Okay then, Hoseok.”

“Don Jung,” Lady Yujin calls out to him, and something in her tone seems forced, and hurried, like there’s an urgent matter she needs to attend to, or she’ll explode.

The guests had finally left, promising to return again soon, and Hoseok found himself alone in the Ohs’ presence once more. While before, their company had been more than enough, Hoseok finds himself missing the varied crowd, all of them invoking his interests in different ways. Especially you. 

Just a few days ago, he’d found himself in the library, perusing over one of the many books he’d found amongst Lord Sehun’s collection The book had captivated him, but sooner rather than later, he’d found himself dozing off, forlorn that he had no one to talk to about it. When he awoke, he felt the strangest chill in his bones. Almost like there was someone in the library with him. The feeling dissipated mere moments later, and all was well. Perhaps he was just missing your company.

He shoves all thoughts aside as he bursts through the door to the drawing room, panting and in a sweat. From across the room, Lady Yujin is perched on the couch, sipping tea from a dainty cup.

“Come sit,” she says sweetly. But it sounds fake.

“What is the matter?” Hoseok demands, chest caving in on itself from anxiety. “Has something horrible happened?”

“Not at all,” she pats his shoulder as he sits, her smile dropping when he scowls at her touch.

“I was thinking, dear friend,” she begins, and a sense of dread creeps into Hoseok’s veins. “Are you not in want of a wife at your age?”

“What are you implying?” Hoseok’s eyes narrow at the thinly veiled statement.

“No implications are being made,” she cuts him off with a purr. “Of course you have many fine qualities that any woman would be in need of. You are accomplished, confident, sincere, and loved by so many. Surely you must have thought of settling down before.”

“Not particularly,” Hoseok muses, training his eyes on something, anything, but the expression on her face. “Is there a reason you’re suggesting I should?”

“My dear, most special friend, there are rumours afoot,” she whispers, and Hoseok is caught off guard by her confession. “I know you seem aloof and are kind-hearted, but people whisper about you, and I worry for your soul. How sad would it be to be condemned merely by the thoughts of others?”

“C-condemned?” Hoseok roars, veins in his neck throbbing. “What is this madness you speak of?”

“Calm yourself,” she grabs him and urges him to sit back down. “I know many suitable women, who would make a fine match. There is Miss Lee, Lady Park, the last I heard, Mr. Jeon had a younger sister. All these women are of an even and polite temperament.’

“It’d almost be like being married to me,” she jokes, but the quip is lost on Hoseok. “I spoke with Lord Sehun, and he agrees it would be a fine endeavor to pursue.”

“What about Lady ___?” Hoseok asks, and Yujin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“____? Oh dear, that poor thing? She’s dreadfully plain and boring, don’t you think? She’s never interested in our gatherings.”

“To the contrary, I find her quite invigorating,” Hoseok argues smugly, seeing the vein at Yujin’s temple throb. Her game isn’t lost on him. But years of falling fancy to the whims of women have taught him to live boldly, yet guard his heart. For the longest time, he’d never found another that made his hallowed organ come to life in such a strong manner. 

“I hope you do consider my proposal, and have some tea, please” she rises, leaving him in the room. Hoseok brings the cup to his lips, bitterly disappointed to find that it has run cold.

The night that followed after his argument with Lady Yujin was a restless one. His head hit the pillow, but his eyes remained wide awake, plagued with thoughts of you. He hates how quick Yujin had been to shut down the prospect of a match, but perhaps the two of you needed more time to get to know one another.

He sighs, eyes fluttering shut. But they fail to carry him to the land of dreams. Outside his window, a gust howls, rattling the shutters and swooshing through the branches of the willow tree in the courtyard below. Paralyzed with fright, the faint light of his candle flickers out, causing Hoseok to jump up out of his bed. He throws the doors to the room open, scanning the halls for any sign of danger. The statues in the hall haunt them, their grotesque shadows creeping up onto the wall in the moonlight, and for a brief moment his heart stops, thinking he hears a suit of armor rattling in the distance.

Chastising himself, he mutters a silent prayer for the first time in many years, when suddenly, something flits across his field of vision. Thinking it a mouse, he freezes, blood turning cold when he sees the hooded figure of a monk in the silvery moonbeams. As the figure passed, it paid Hoseok no mind. He knows not how long he stood there, breathing labored and hair standing on end, waiting for the figure to rush back and claim his soul. But it never returned.

“A monk?” Sehun asks, taking in Hoseok’s pale, distraught figure. “There hasn’t been a monk at the Abbey for years. Are you sure, friend?”

Hoseok doesn’t know what to say, still frozen from the shock of what had occurred last night. Lady Yujin is glaring at him with a disapproving look, and Duchess Hye-Jin’s lips are curled in a snide smirk. 

“It’s nothing of course,” Lady Yujin assures the guests. “Like Lord Sehun said, there have been no monks at the abbey for years. It was probably just a bad dream.”

Hoseok feels betrayed. For all of Yujin’s shrewdness, he had at least believed she would stand by him as a friend. But it seems hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

“Are you okay, Hoseok?” You whisper to him. “Whatever happened last night, you look like you had quite a fright.”

“I’ll be fine,” he says, not wanting to worry you, although he’s touched by the care you seem to show him.

“Still, why don’t we go for a walk in the woods later? I’m sure the sunlight will help calm your nerves.”

A smile makes it way onto your face, and for the first moment ever, Hoseok catches the hint of a flush on your cheeks. He doesn’t know what you mean by the proposition, but he’ll take the chance if it means spending time with you all the same.

Returning from his walk with you, the sun has begun to set, and Hoseok wonders how he could ever enjoy the company of one woman so much. Surely, he’d have continued to spend his life being seduced by women he could never have. Such was his nature, and nature was a fickle beast to contend with. It neither bent nor broke for just anyone. However, you, it seems, had reawakened the hardened feelings he thought he’d buried long ago. 

Smiling to himself as he locks the door, he muses about how much you’d like the sun in Spain. You loved spending time outdoors. His mother would be happy with a daughter as lovely as you, there was no doubt. 

Sitting on his bed, he disrobes, ready to retire for the night, when he hears a click. The door turns, and opens. There enters the spectral figure he’d seen the night before, except now the blasted creature was in his room.

Hoseok’s heartbeat pounds in his ears, the figure approaching him, drawing closer and closer every second. In a flash, he sees you behind his eyes, and anger fills his veins. No, this ghost would not take away his only chance at happiness.

He rises, charging towards the hooded figure, slamming it against the wall. Shock overcomes him, as his palm meets the soft flesh of a chest, and warm sweet breath tickles his ear. Freezing Hoseok pauses, eyes scanning the ghost. He catches the gleam of painted red lips under the hood, and a slender hand meets his own, urging him to squeeze the softness of what he now realizes is a woman’s breast in his hand.

Pushing the hood back, he’s met with the face of Duchess Hye-jin.

“I’ve got you now,” she croons in his ear. “Poor Don Jung, stuck in this lonely house, under the steel grip of that horrid Yujin.”

Her lips ghost his own, and Hoseok feels his cock throb underneath his pants. She presses hurried, frenzied kisses to his neck, dropping to her knees as she fishes him out from his briefs.

Pressing a kiss to his tip, her warm, wet lips engulf his heat, and Hoseok’s eyes flutter shut. How long had it been since he’d lost himself to pleasure like this? There had been too many days of indulging in the torment of societal pressures and expectations, not to mention his hidden feelings. He’d longed for blazing warmth, but in a different way.

The lewd sounds from her sucking reverberate throughout the room, accompanied by Hoseok’s grunts and her soft moans. He realizes that she’s begun rutting onto the floor, arousal leaking from her cunt and pooling into a warm wet puddle below, and feels himself grow harder in his pants.

“Be mine,” she chokes onto his dick, tears blurring her eyes. “Be mine, and you’ll never be in want of another again. I can take care of you in all the ways Yujin couldn’t.”

Hoseok feels his impending orgasm deflate at her words, suddenly overcome with shock and guilt. What was he doing? Moments ago, he’d been on the brink of passing out from fright, thinking that his judgement day had finally come. And now, he was letting the Duchess touch him all over, lost to his baser desires, while his heart belonged to another? 

No, Hoseok would not submit this time. He was tired of being used by others for pleasure, of being the proverbial notch on someone’s bedpost. He longed for a life free of sin, and full of love, with the one person he desired the most.

Gently tapping the Duchess’ shoulder, he pushes her off his cock, watching her eyes widen in surprise.

“Go,” he says coldly. “My heart is not yours to take. If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I’ll tell your husband of all your trysts faster than you can count to five.”

Whimpering, her eyes spill over with tears, as she scampers from the room. Sighing, Hoseok collapses on his bed, when suddenly, he jolts forward, looking at one of the many trinkets Lady Yujin stored on his beside table. 

Picking up the delicate glass figurine, he throws it against the wall, collapsing into a series of sobs.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Yujin seethes at him, nearly bursting from Sehun’s grasp to fall to her knees in front of Hoseok.

“It is time for me to move forward,” Hoseok replies. “There are many more places around Europe I’d like to see, many things to discover. London no longer holds any charm for me.”

“Any charm at all?” she admonishes him, the answer to her question clear from Hoseok’s silence. But he would never admit it to her. He was too proud.

“Fine,” she relinquishes him with a sigh. “Be it as you wish.”

As his bags are loaded into the carriage, Hoseok hears the frantic clacking of shoes against the gravel, and the heavy breaths of someone running towards him.

Turning towards the noise, he sees you, cheeks flushed and hair askew, panting as though you’d run a marathon.

“You’re leaving,” the words come out in a near sob. “You didn’t tell me.”

“I apologize for the abruptness of my leave,” he reassures you. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“You did not worry me,” you breathe out. “It’s just, I will miss you, Hoseok.”

“Pity,” Hoseok smirks, winking at you. “I hope you’d accompany me. As my wife, of course.”

Your face is blanched in shock, mirroring his from the previous night, but warms instantly as he leans to capture your lips in a passionate kiss.

From behind, he can feel Yujin’s eyes on him, and Sehun’s jaw drop in shock, but he doesn’t care. The reinvention of Jung Hoseok had only just begun…

“Oh my god, Hoseok, yes, yes, right there!” you scream, his fingers pushing themselves into your mouth to silence your bratty moans as he continues to tongue at your cunt. Your walls clench around him, unaware of what has come over your usually reserved demeanor.

Your husband had brought out a fervor within you. The two of you had been married for mere hours, impulsively stopping at a parsonage on your way out of the country to make it official. He’d been so excited to take you home with him, gushing about meeting his mother and how much you’d love the warm, balmy climate of Andalusia.

But before any progress could be achieved towards your goal, he’d snuck his fingers up your dress in the carriage, his lips sealed over yours to silence your moans. His skilled digits had you falling over the brink for the very first time in your life, flushed and panting heavily. He’d given you no time to recuperate and wallow in bliss, immediately shoving his cock down your throat. You’d gagged on him gleefully, loving the bitter tang of his seed down your throat.

And now you found yourselves here, stopped at an inn for the night, impulsively consummating your marriage. The movements of his tongue stop, and tears fill your eyes when you feel your orgasm ebb away, small sobs leaving your utterly wrecked body.

“Quiet, brat,” he commands. “Don’t be greedy, I’d rather have you falling apart on my cock anyway.”

You close your eyes, nodding, waiting for the sensation of him to fill you up. But it never comes. 

For the moment Hoseok had prepared to sheathe himself inside you fully, he’s stopped by the sudden appearance of something behind your shoulder. Looking up, he freezes. The same spectral being that had haunted him at the Oh’s estate, now here in its ghostly flesh.

The ghost’s appearance could not even be written off as a joke in jest, for Hoseok saw the malevolent red gleam in its eyes, and immediately dropped dead of fright. 

fin.

A/N pt. 2: Thanks for reading! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

[mermaidsirennikita]

One interesting thing that’s struck me as concern about how India will be handled in Bridgerton season 2 rises is that … while India has never been handled well in Regency romances, I’ve noticed PARTICULARLY clumsy attempts to incorporate it into the world lately?

What stands out is that these are post 2010 books; the majority of romance writers are white and while they should know better at this point, I’m not surprised that they’re fucking it up. But I have to think it’s being done in a deliberate attempt to seem progressive~ in incorporating India into the story, acknowledging its existence more than say, When He Was Wicked by Julia Quinn did. In that book, Michael’s travels to India are discussed…. He is mentioned as having been pursued by an Indian princess….. it’s bad. Michael also caught malaria in India and still has flare ups, and while I truly don’t think it was JQ’s intention to have it there for any reason other than provoking Francesca’s trauma over the loss of her husband, it subtextually almost read to me as punishment for his participation in colonialism? It MOST DEFINITELY IS NOT, but it’s just a weird vibe I got.

But I can think of three books off the top of my head that are more recent and handled India horribly, two of which are by a couple of authors I otherwise love in terms of their output. One is The Highlander by Kerrigan Byrne, in which the hero actually served in the army in India, most definitely killed people, and…. It’s really bad. It’s acknowledged as this horrible thing, but of course it’s about his trauma, right? And he has a valet of sorts who he essentially spared from the slaughter, and, well, spoilers, I guess the attempt to resolve this issue is the valet attempting to murder him at the end? Rightfully, imo, but woof, does it not work. This book was released in 2016.

Released around the same time was Lisa Kleypas’s Hello, Stranger. In this book the hero mentions living in India, where he was sexually taught all the things by an Indian woman who studied the kama sutra. Yep! Kleypas was called out on this pretty quickly, issued an apology, and edited all mentions of India out of the book (or so I’ve been told—I’ve never read the edited copy).

And most recently is A Rogue of One’s Own, in which the hero was in the military, spent time in India, ~loved the culture~ and has a distinct tattoo of a dancing goddess with 6-8 arms (I’m not sure which) that is a plot point later in the book. It’s basically a tool to illustrate what a wild and controversial libertine he is. This was also called out on Twitter pretty extensively at the time of release, but as far as I know Dunmore never responded. I don’t think The Highlander has been called out beyond some reviews here and there, but Byrne isn’t as big a name as Dunmore and Kleypas.

Here’s the thing: I think all of these authors had essentially the same intentions as the Bridgerton team. India existed, let’s mention it so that we seem like we’re aware of it. In Byrne’s case, it’s REAL BAD and I think it was some failed attempt to be like “British people were real bad” but you honestly can’t redeem a war criminal even if his victim does get to stab him at the end.

And I don’t have the answers for …. How to handle this. Obviously, I don’t. But I think it seems pretty clear that it white writers attempting to “tackle India” pretty much always fails. It’s just a really concerning that Bridgerton season 2 could be a part of this bad trend in historical romance, which has been pretty much universally rejected by South Asian romance critics online…. But the show gets a pass because everyone loves a diverse cast, right?

I mean, we won’t know what exactly the show does until it’s out. But thinking of it, I can’t help but be concerned about trend-following.

[n7viper]

🎶 + Mihren, Mihri & Rylen, Lia & Garrus AND Lia & Tarquin oOoOOo I know you have multiple songs for everyone so I am choosing all of them

Send me a 🎶 + an OTP of mine and I’ll give you a song that reminds me of them.

Ohohoho so I actually didn't have any Mihri/Rylen ones (so why did I put their names there??), and I didn't have any for Lia and Tarquin either. But I have done some extensive research and have come up with some. I've got lyrics with these, so I've put everything under the cut to save everyone's dashes.

Mihren (Mihri & Cullen):

I mentioned this song the other day in another ask (not as an actual answer), but I'm gonna go ahead and use it anyway. As a note, I think the perspectives could change a bit for this song to fit them. Mihri wants to absolutely destroy him, not necessarily the other way around.

It's only just a crush, it'll go away It's just like all the others, it'll go away Or maybe this is danger, and he just don't know You pray it all away, but it continues to grow

I want to hold you close, skin pressed against me tight Lie still, close your eyes, girl, so lovely, it feels so right I want to hold you close, soft breath, beating heart As I whisper in your ear, "I want to fucking tear you apart"

Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do? Cause there's always repercussions when you're dating in school But their lips met, and reservations started to pass Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

Either way, he wanted her, and this was bad Wanted to do things to her, it was making him crazy Now a little crush turned into a like And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

Mihri & Rylen

Not much to say about this one. She has, frankly, bewitched him. One of my favourite horny songs.

Her lipstick stains like acid rain Dissolving away my sense of restraint … Concealing the violence, I've been stung by the wasp So come to me No sense of restraint So come for me

Come with me and disappear without a trace Criminal, in how I crave the way she tastes I'm the rapture in her head when she attempts to sleep It's haunting, she kills me

No time or place to take it slow And my head aches but I refuse to go Her face as soft as snow She looks so lost but she feels like home

I will wait endlessly I will break you carefully So take me harmfully You fit so perfectly I will wait

Lia & Garrus

We've waited so damn long, we're sick and tired I won't leave any doubt or stone unturned I've got a collar full of chemistry from your company So maybe tonight, I'll be the libertine

Oh, show me your love, your love Give me more but it's not enough Show me your love, your love Before the world catches up 'Cause there's always time for second guesses I don't want to know If you're gonna be the death of me That's how I want to go

You've got it all worked out with so little time Memories that I'd black out if you were mine You've got a pocket full of reasons why you're here tonight So, baby, tonight just be the death of me

Lia & Tarquin

I have seen this used as an actual love song before, but I get missed opportunity/pining vibes from this. Lia and Tarquin are the FWB that catch feelings, but unfortunately they're both just too stupid to ever realize that they're both in love. And guess what? It doesn't matter because I don't do a Tarquin Lives AU :) Missed opportunities ahoy!

I'm a ghost in your eyes A shadow you can't seem to recognize I have a thought of you for every star in the sky But I'm scared, I'll never cross your mind Yeah, I'm scared

Will our stars ever align? Will two hearts beat in time? These words you should always remember To you, my heart I surrender Chasing love that can never be mine Maybe one day you'll realize These words you should always remember To you, my heart I surrender My heart I surrender

And I can't count the times I stayed awake pretending you were mine Now I'm left here with this emptiness inside Why can't I make you mine?

[everyonewasabird]

Brickclub 3.2.8 ‘Two do not make a pair’

Ugh. I want to just skip this chapter. Instead, I’m going to rant at it.

We’re shown two sisters, one of whom is portrayed as romanticism and idealism personified, and the other is a boring and unintelligent prude, and WHY? Marius’s mother does indeed sound delightful! Would love to hear more about her some time! Why do we need to denigrate her half-sister in order to tell that story?

Fuck everything.

I’d have more say about how horrible the portrayal of Mlle Gillenormand is, but I’ve said it before. There’s a subtle and realistic characterization here in terms of how complex her sexual repression is. There’s a fear and horror and obsession in her uptightness that’s not mere indifference to sex--it’s very perceptively drawn! And there’s a really interesting observation about how her innocence makes her unaware of how she reacts to her handsome young grandnephew.

BUT, when it comes time to explain what’s going on with her, Hugo is just, like, “Lol, stupid prude.” Because she’s a woman, because she’s not charismatic, because she isn’t naturally inclined to the romanticism that’s the hallmark of positive characters in this book, she’s the butt of the narrative’s jokes. He’s been balanced and compassionate about her father, despite his many sins, which--fine! I’m not against compassion and nuance! But why is she the one whom suddenly the narrative has no patience for?

Fuck that. Nobody needs to be charming to deserve being treated with dignity and compassion, and I thought this book understood that better.

And it’s really unfortunate, because if you strip away Hugo’s awful way of talking about her, he’s drawn someone that really makes sense in these circumstances. It really feels like her stifledness and dissatisfaction and clinging to religion were created in the shadow of her father’s overbearingness, charisma, bullying, and libertinism. It’s telling that the two kids raised by Gillenormand are sexually repressed and socially anxious and generally weird!

But Marius’s issues get dealt with compassionately because he’s 1) male, 2) a Romantic, and 3) the author’s darling. And Mlle Gillenormand’s get talked about like her issues are her fault. Her fantasy as a kid was to marry someone stable and steady and boring, and HEY, MAYBE THERE WAS A REASON FOR THAT? Yeah, she’s got lots of unexamined issues about class. LET’S GET HER OUT OF THIS AWFUL HOUSE AND WORRY ABOUT THAT AFTER. WHY must Hugo take women not having sex as an affront to him personally?

And fuck, it’s not even mentioned in this chapter how she’s fifty and her father still beats her. Not that there’s, like, an age where that’s okay, but there’s something extra awful about it, both from a dignity perspective and an injuries perspective.

And the word “prude” is so horrible. And it’s such a horrible thing to level at her. And it’s bizarre that it’s JUST at her, in a book with this many celibate characters? What she chooses to do or not do in terms of sex is none of the narrator’s damn business to make moral judgments on! I had Enjolras use the word “prude” against himself in a fic one time because the way it’s used here against one of the least powerful and least charismatic characters in this novel is fucking unfair.

And in the middle of all this, Hugo drops:

No ambition is fully realized, here below at least. No paradise becomes terrestrial at the period in which we live.

Which is extremely important to the structure of this book! This explains so much about why the barricade and the ending are what they are! And also I’m too mad at him to explore any of it right now!

[estellaelysian]

Catch and Favor from the prompt list for our lovely pair E&A please

And

Welcome to super self indulgent fic edition. The prompt did it, not me 🙃 From this prompt list

[ CATCH ] : sender catches receiver's hand instinctively out of surprise or concern, and holds it.

[ FAVOR ] : sender does a favor for receiver without being asked to, or expecting a reward in return.

Sweet Hoax

‘So? Neil why isn’t coming again?’

‘Because he said he had to take care of his daughter,’ Dilshad said, looking away.

Alishka sighed happily. There was nothing good about not having her older brother visit her in Boston, but she was also somewhat relieved. Conjuring up stories was unlike her, but Neil had insisted upon seeing the ‘Guy from Work’, a result of her confiding in Gianna, his wife. Alishka had stopped telling things to her after that.

‘I bet she is growing up fast,’ she said, lining up her next shot.

‘She is. You won’t believe how much she has grown since you last saw her.’

She laughed. ‘I know that. I have talked to her, you know. She video calls me every Sunday.’

‘That’s cute. We only ever talk when I am over.’

‘Yeah ‘cause she likes me better than you.’

‘She likes me better than you,’ Dilshad mocked, pitching his voice higher, making her laugh even more. ‘Don’t think I’ll fall for that trap.’

‘It’s not a trap. It’s the truth.’

Her ball rolled toward the pins, and she had another perfect score.

‘Hell, how do you do that?’

She smirked. ‘You gotta focus.’

‘Ofcourse,’ he said, rolling his eyes.

To be honest, in a long time, she actually felt happy. After the … events at Miami, she hadn’t been sleeping well. A game of bowling with her brother felt like therapy. She had also asked her friends to tag along, but only Bryce had been free, and he should have been here by now…

‘Hi Lish, sorry I am late,’ he said, leaning in for a quick hug.

‘No worries,’ she said, hugging him back. ‘This is Dilshad, my brother.’

They exchanged greetings and warmed up to each other. It amazed Alishka how easily Bryce got along with everyone. He just had that … personality.

‘So Lish, ready to lose?’

‘You bet.’

#

‘That’s no good. Another perfect score.’

Ethan laughed, a full hearty laugh in what seemed like weeks. James was being especially whiny as he lost their little match at Bowling as he proceeded to take off the tennis shoes and put the ball back.

‘How the hell do you do that?’

‘Focus,’ Ethan answered, breathing heavily.

‘Yeah, sure,’ James mocked. ‘Look, this has been fun, but how about we meet for dinner tonight? And don’t be ridiculous and try to bullshit me by giving some excuse. You are coming.’

‘Okay,’ he said, chuckling. ‘You can be pretty relentless.’

‘That I am. Although, I gotta take off now, so I’ll see you at dinner? Libertine? Sounds good?’

‘Yeah, I’ll see you then.’

‘Yeah, ‘kay.’

As he disappeared into the crowd, Ethan leaned back, taking a moment to relax while he got rid of his own shoes. Having a day off wasn’t always good. He was a workaholic, and he liked to keep himself busy, but sometimes, slowing down felt good too.

He could’ve never imagined he’d be out bowling when Naveen was this sick, but James had been adamant. He had said, ‘Sometimes a cleansing of mind is required. Maybe you’ll think better after having some time for yourself.’

Well, he didn’t know if James was right. But it didn’t hurt much to give a few hours to his friend rather than arguing, because that would never be useful. James was a lawyer, he knew his ways.

Ethan sighed. As much as he had loved the few hours they had spent together, it was time to go back and do some more research.

He stood up, walking with his determined stride, keeping his head low. Only now he noticed how chaotic a bowling alley actually could be. For him being in his own tone, he halfheartedly ignored the familiar laughter that filled his ears, thinking he was probably just imagining.

But just a moment later, he slammed into someone, his arms immediately reaching out to catch her because she was knocked off balance.

Only then he realised that he hadn’t quite imagined her laughter.

She was actually here.

#

For a moment of madness, it felt all too impossible.

Ethan Ramsey didn’t do activities. Hell, he didn’t even take off days. For her to meet him here of all places, and this way… she had to be dreaming.

Her eyes widened as she pulled back, stumbled on her own feet before staggering even backwards.

‘You okay, Lish?’ Bryce asked. ‘And you–’

‘Hello, Dr. Lahela.’

‘Uh, hi, Dr. Ramsey.’

Oh dear God. Could this get any more worse?

‘Is this the guy from work?’

Guy from Work. Ofcourse.

Alishka’s eyes widened even more in horror. And she noticed Ethan’s eyebrows rise at the mention. ‘How do you know? Who told you?’

‘Gianna, she said, –’

‘Shh,’ Alishka hissed, but to no avail.

‘Well, you are quite the man,’ Dilshad said, smiling as he walked past her. ‘Hi, I am Dilshad Roy, her brother.’

Vaguely, she regretted all this, even though there was no way she could have known. This just wasn’t like the Ethan she knew. But somehow, that seemed to be a less of a concern now. She exhaled sharply, about to cut in, but then her gaze met Ethan’s. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking as he raised a hand to stop her.

‘Yeah,’ Ethan said with a small smile. ‘It seems you already know me.’

Alishka winced. Apparently, it could get worse.

‘Who wouldn’t? You are Ethan Ramsey, her medical hero. And …’

‘Her boyfriend,’ he finished, ignoring the shiver running down his spine at the word.

#

He didn’t know what had taken over in that moment. His duplicity came quite naturally. Was it out of protective instinct or in a desire to live in a bubble, he didn’t know.

He wasn’t aware of what Alishka’s family knew about them. This could be some move in that situation, but he barely gave it a thought as he moved to Alishka’s side.

‘Would you like to play a round, Ethan?’ Dilshad asked over the loud music that filled the alley.

‘He can’t stay,’ Alishka said immediately. ‘There is an important research to be finished, and..’

‘And you don’t need to worry about that,’ he offered. ‘I’ll be happy to stay for a round.’

Alishka painted a false smile on her face when Dilshad looked her way, but in reality, she was in complete utter shock. They moved to the side some more, allowing people to pass around them. Almost too suddenly, she looked away, Ethan following her gaze to a distant corner of the alley. His gaze slipped down to the mustard yellow ripped top she was wearing, paired with jeans. She looked good in casual clothes, not something he saw her usually in.

‘You didn’t have to do that, you know,’ she whispered, crossing her arms across her chest. ‘Lie like that. Why did you do it?’

‘I don’t know,’ he said under his breath. ‘Felt like the right thing to do.’

She scoffed. ‘Right thing about what, Ethan? I think you were very clear–’

She was interrupted when he loudly cleared his throat as Dilshad approached.

‘Here you go man, let’s do this.’

‘Yeah,’ Ethan said with a chuckle. Let’s do it.

#

One and a half rounds later, Ethan found himself again by the side of Alishka, quietly staring at the floor. He wondered what she found so fascinating about it.

For the lack of anything to say, his gaze shuffled between their feet, wondering about what she had been saying earlier. It was right, he had been very clear about the nature of their relationship when they had been back from Miami.

It had been his decision after all, hadn’t it?

Beside him, Alishka sighed loudly. Her silence was worse than he could’ve ever imagined.

Maybe she was correct. Maybe he did it for himself, throwing all the rationality he stuck by otherwise out of the window. Maybe he was wrong in creating this bubble.

He didn't know.

What he knew now, was that apparently, both of them had tremendous acting skills. And they’d have to use it for a little more time because soon, they would be done with this little bubble that he had created so impulsively.

Coming to think of it, maybe he was wrong, but he didn’t want to acknowledge that.

‘AW MAN!’ Dilshad exclaimed as Bryce did his – possibly – first perfect score. ‘I can’t believe I lost!’

‘We all have our days, Dilshad,’ Alishka said quietly, before turning to look at Ethan with cold steel. ‘I guess, we should leave now, I have got some homework to do for our next case.’

‘Yeah,’ Bryce offered. ‘Lish, can I walk you?’

‘Ofcourse,’ she smiled brightly. ‘Just a moment please.’

Pulling Ethan aside by the arm, she brushed her hair away and looked up at him. ‘If we get into any mess because of this, it’s on you. Like I said, you didn’t have to do that. I don’t like lying. And therefore, you can’t blame me for anything.’

With that, she walked away, wrapping an arm around Bryce as he led her outside.

‘She can be like that sometimes,’ Dilshad said, looking at the expression on Ethan’s face. He wasn’t quick enough to school it into a proper smile. ‘Weird, you know, but don’t let it bother you. She is probably just stressed.’

And she is right to be, he thought, but said nothing.

‘What I was saying is, it’s her, I mean our niece’s birthday next month. And she’d be really happy if you come.’

If we get into any mess because of this, it’s on you. Like I said, you didn’t have to do that. I don’t like lying. And therefore, you can’t blame me for anything.

Ethan offered a tight smile, watching her disappear into bright light of the day.

‘Yes, ofcourse.’

#

Thank you all for reading if you made it this far. I know this was trash very weird, but hey, it's all about trying new things (or tropes).

Thank you all again. Lot's of love 💖