#hating on main

[creaman]

—BECAUSE KUNG FU PANDA 4 KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY?

To preface, I watched this movie and I'm genuinely tweaking right now so I had to write down a very brief (lie) criticism on this film — which you should boycott, by the way.

Starting with the things I liked, before briefing my primary points of criticism:

Po's Character Regression

Po and Zhen's Dynamic

The Chameleon

I'd also yap about Lord Shen and the death of the art style and the entire narrative and pacing and use of the staff of wisdom but my therapist says being such a hater is 'unhealthy' or something. My heart is full of hatred.

SPOILERS for the entirety KFP4 for the 2 people who care.

KFP4 undermines and ignores the previous three movies — Unwriting character developments, outright removing the Furious Five, straying from the character design philosophies and is completely inconsistent with the established lore.

Things I Liked About Kung Fu Panda 4

The Chameleon's character design

Visual gag in the Tavern where Po uses a recently thrown axe as a hat rack (made me laugh)

When Mr. Ping did this:

so cute! the little heart!

Po — Character Writing

Po, as established in the previous movies, is confident in his abilities and identity — he’s learnt inner peace, he’s matured as a character. However, in KFP4, his character has completely regressed. He’s immature again (such as KFP1, possibly worse) and says verbatim, “only knows kicking butt and taking names” — UNLEARNING inner peace and insisting that “…being the Dragon Warrior is all I know.”

It’s childish, and sort of Hotel Transylvania-esque.

Which isn’t helped by the comedy, the dialogue — a large chunk of which are jokes in the style of:

Master Shifu says something philosophical

Po quips off of it / doesn’t get it (i.e. Whoa!! beat I don’t know what that means.)

Oh, it’s great, yeah, very tolerable. Po’s shenanigans are normally reeled in by the presence of the Furious Five who are generally more serious in nature, creating a much needed balance in the dynamic — So without them, it’s just Po becoming increasingly obnoxious and insufferable with every consecutive quip throughout the screenplay.

Po and Zhen — Character Dynamics

[No more graphics sorry I'm too angry]

As if it wasn’t obvious that Zhen was going to be the next Dragon Warrior the second she was introduced.

Zhen, as a character, has no depth besides being a quippy thief. She quips, she steals. This character has no motives — it can be assumed that the writers intended on a ‘change of heart’ thing, but she isn’t established as evil, her working for the Chameleon is written as a (albeit poor) twist reveal.

By which point, her taking either side wouldn’t make sense, given that she has shown no loyalty or attachment to either Po nor the Chameleon.

The movie artificially strengthens their bond by having Zhen start opening up about her backstory out of nowhere for no reason but they have done nothing to grow closer to each other.

Small tangent, her backstory is exactly what you’d expect it to be with no subversions or even emotional weight. Woe is me I was so small and hungry I had to steal to survive. Glossed over in about a minute.

The majority of the dialogue between Zhen and Po is spoken exposition — explaining how powerful and badass the Chameleon is, explaining how ‘we have to go here to do that’ and ‘this place was cool until the Chameleon did such and such’, and the rest of their time together is spent engaging in filler chase sequences and fight scenes.

The Chameleon

Where do I even start…

This is where it becomes apparent that the movie relies heavily on telling rather than showing —

She is the weakest villain by far, not only in universe but as a written character; which is particularly disheartening because I genuinely adore her character design and feel as though a shapeshifting character has great potential.

The movie artificially inflates her power by insisting through exposition that this is the most capable antagonist thus far (lie).

The audience is TOLD by Zhen and various restaurant patrons that the Chameleon is a powerful shapeshifting sorceress and that she 'dominates the city' whilst the film does nothing to showcase this.

'Dominating the city' meaning letting her henchpeople run amock and bully the civilians just like Lord Shen's wolves in KFP2... uninspired.

I just realised they didn't even give her a NAME what the FUCK is going on

She describes HERSELF as ruthless, clever and unsentimental when comparing Zhen to herself.

She says HERSELF that she’s “Stronger than every opponent you’ve ever faced.”

Let’s see what vile reprehensible things she’s done, shall we?

Gently push someone down some stairs

Her first appearance is through Zhen’s exposition, as opposed to the dramatic and memorable entrances of the previous villains. Her motives or character aren’t established until the final third of the film. She doesn’t even FIGHT anybody until the final third of the film; and even then, her fight sequences are uninspired and she never really poses a real threat. (She goes down in two hits.)

That being said, WE CAN STILL SAVE HER GUYS WE CAN STILL GET HER OUTTA THERE I'M COMING FOR YOU CHAMELEON I'M GONNA DRAFT YOU A PROPER BACKSTORY AND MOTIVE AND YOU'RE GONNA BE THE MOST THREATENING VILLAIN THUS FAR

There's a scene after the climax of the film where all the kung fu masters and previous villains from the spirit realm bow to Po. I'm not going to provide my thoughts on this because I fear I may burst a blood vessel. Good day!

Closing Statements

To put it simply, Kung Fu Panda 4 was my Megamind 2.

The film rejects its predecessors in every way. It really feels as though they brought in somebody with no prior knowledge of the franchise to direct the movie.

It's a film that relies heavily on telling rather than showing — banking on the previous three movies to carry it through the box office.

It's just really disheartening to see studio execs turn one of the best franchises into a safe sequel cash grab and regress every character's development.

Nevertheless. I do adore the chameleon's character design so I might do my own take on her character.

As far as I'm concerned, there is no fairy godmother, there is no tooth fairy, and there is no kung fu panda 4.

[thesillyexpresser]

Finally finished Saiki K and I just wanna say

I HATE THESE MFS 🗣️🗣️🔥💥💥💥

(Uhhh spoilers for the whole thing)

(Oh yeah ramble warning)

(Edit: considering how much traction this is getting, I just want to make it clear that these are my opinions. I’m open to hearing you out on yours as long as it’s not too heated. This wasn’t really meant to be too serious. It is also alright if you disagree with my opinions. These aren’t facts. I am also also well aware that most of their characterization are supposed to be gags and that they’re fictional so I respect them from that point. I just wouldn’t like them if they were actual people.)

I hate these motherfuckers, and I’m surprised there’s almost no shade thrown towards them. Let’s crack it down with these sorry excuses of the parents first.

Now, I’m well aware that this is a comedy anime and characters flaws aren’t exactly a bad thing. Their flaws are supposed to be comedic and I respect that from that stand point.

BUT AS A PERSON WHO CONSUMES MEDIA AND HAS OPINIONS, I WANT TO SACK THEM SHITLESS.

They practically only view Kusuo’s powers as an excuse to do less work, in both inside and outside the house. They constantly use him as a mop to clean up their own shortcomings without doing anything theirselves. Even until the very end, when Kusuo wanted to give up his powers, his own fucking father only thought about his so precious and convenient transport to work. What is this man. I know no one is a perfect parent and that all people have their quirks but this guy is actually so fucking horrible.

The mom isn’t all that bad, but she isn’t unexcused for the way she and the “dad” just allowed the relationship between Kusuo and Kusuke get so fucking toxic. When Kusuke made Kusuo’s limiters and revealed that if he look of the right one that his powers would get revealed to the world, a thing they would all know Kusuo would absolutely hate, they could’ve easily scolded him for it but NO. They could’ve taught the siblings to actually appreciate each others’ abilities to a healthy degree but NO. They could’ve taught Kusuo the importance of respecting and being humble to others without his abilities but NO. They even just allowed Kusuke’s toxic competitiveness to grow by allowing him to go to London and shit. I know no parent is ready to raise an Elon Musk and an esper but at least try to make your own fucking household a home for your own children. Now, onto the rotting maggot that is Kusuke.

I FUCKING HATE KUSUKE.

Now, I know anyone would be jealous of their younger sibling having more ability than them and I know that his parents are (as I already established) just the worst but can this guy actually fucking relax??

Like has once in his sorry excuse of a life has he thought that “hey isn’t this just a tiny bit petty??” “Isn’t putting a tracker on my younger brother an invasion of his own privacy??” “Is making a fucking robot clone of my brother, making it do the things my own brother is obviously uncomfortable with, making it fucking attack him on sight, and then brainwashing his friend into hating him so much that it sprouts another psychic ability just a bit more fucked up than I thought??”

I know people hate this line but YOU’RE A FUCKING ADULT. YOU’RE NINETEEN YEARS OLD. GROW UP.

Also can we talk about how he’s all “I want to prove I can control my brother” when he already has his thumb pushed down on Kusuo? What’s that? You have a way to make everyone know about his powers? You can track his moves? You know everything about his powers and the ways and money to stop them? And you did this for fun? Con-fucking-grats you have control over him. He has anxiety now. Thanks for your hard work. I’m pretty sure that if he had any less morals than Kusuo would be his fucking slave.

(And yes, I know that the right limiter gimmick was taken off but it’s the thought that counts and there’s nothing but MALICE behind those thoughts.)

His only defense for putting his brother through inhumane experiments is “oh Kusuo has psychic powers he practically isn’t human”. KUSUO ISNT HUMAN MY ASS. Kusuo has more humanity than you. That robot clone you built of him has more humanity than you. That poor rotting maggot that I unfairly compared itself to you has more humanity than you. This mad scientist shithead has practically ZERO HUMANITY.

And I think we all fucking knew that the stopping-all-of-Kusuo’s-powers limiter was so he can do his world domination shit. Without his brother’s powers, who was there to stop him from doing that robot world domination thing from that one episode all over again? NO ONE. THAT’S WHO.

and I know that I’m getting so worked up over a fictional story but I JUST WANT TO GIVE THEM A SWEET REIGAN ARATAKA TALK.

“Aren’t you his parents? Shouldn’t you act with more responsibility instead of treating your own son like a fucking taxi?? For shame. I’m calling child protection services. He’s still a fucking minor after all. Minors aren’t that mentally mature, you know.”

“Oh? You put your own brother through inhumane experiments because of his ESP? That same ESP that he had no control over being born with? Why are you harassing someone just because they were born with something they didn’t have control being born with? Should I call the cops?”

Heck, I just want to shake their brains out, beat some senses into them, and give Kusuo some therapy because my goodness.

sigh

Yare yare

[exaltior-a]

Homestuck fandom stop micharacterizing female characters into being "so wholesome" just because you perceive them to be nice and don't dig any further than that (Roxy, Jade, Kanaya, Nepeta, etc). Actually engage with the text youre a supposed fan of or reduce yourself to ash in the wind. Get out of my sight.

[arach-tinilith]

Not to be a hater but from what ive seen of datv graphics, i don't like it at all😭 its very stylized and cartoony but super HD and also the hair is way too detailed. Its like the "realistic power puff girls" ifykwim

[ddeck]

they should give me the title of god's strongest soldier because i still haven't turned into a criminal over the way people in sw fandom act

[lzrdprsn]

Same energy to me, personally.

[prenzea]

Nightmind's new video is my 13th reason. this shit is such hot garbage and i have a VERY strong reason that he got paid to make a video on "giggleland"

deadass just unsubbed, he goes on tangents for over half of the video despite only having one (1) trailer and a dogshit arg.

[usaigi]

Self care is blocking roy//ed people :)

[linka-from-captain-planet]

as someone who's pretty much exclusively interested in a) female characters, b) minor/background female characters, and c) F/F rareships/crackships usually also involving minor or background female characters, the fact that such a loud chunk of the fandom has the sheer audacity to demand that L*rian canonize their wish fulfillment fanfic about romancing male characters that have PLENTY of fan content already, relative to their role in the game, is just soooo

[full-of-malice]

being a hater rn i fucking hate interaction bait here on tumblr God. it's not even unbelievable rage bait yk. the reblog bait shit.

"reblog if you support [basic human right]" "reblog if you are not [a terrible person]" "reblog if you are [basic human decency]"

no no i will not reblog your shitty fucking interaction bait that attempts to get interactions out of people via guilt and often forcing that on your followers !! that's fucking weird !!

"reblog if you would care if prev committed suicide" what the Hell.

like. god people don't think how this fucks with people. how it causes guilt and can very negatively affect people.

you don't need to reblog some shitty post to prove smth or to show that you're a good person whether or not you repost some interaction bait doesn't actually reflect you as a person

i will admit i indulge in some. i find some of them silly. but in the end. as a whole. i hate it.

[creaman]

Idk if I'm allowed to encourage this but everything you said about Kung fu Panda 4 is correct, it not only killed my grandma but massacred my bloodline. The only saving grace of that movie was the cute Dad stuff, and that the theater I watched it in had comfy reclining sofa chairs as seats.

Although you can make the point that Li and Ping 'distract from the film', being the B plot, they are genuinely the only good part of the movie. Again, you could argue that their absense would mean more time to develop the A plot, but their precense is the only funny and charming part of the film and the A plot had plenty of time.

The movie has the same runtime as its predecessors, but chose to spend near all of its time padding out the A plot with spoken exposition and filler chase sequences when it could have been fleshing out The Chameleon as a villain and developing Zhen and Po's dynamic.

Now taking this opportunity to talk about some of the secondary points I didn't get to cover in the primary post (hating is my passion)

Original Post

KFP4 spoilers again

Juniper City Sequence

A lot of the comedy is generic subversion — A statement followed by a verbal or visual contradiction which is standard, worn out and the laziest most predictable form of comedy.

There was also a scene that actually made me pause the movie and cackle; not from the humour, but from the sheer absurdity; — in which Po refers to himself as “—The Kung Fu Panda!”

Has never previously referred to himself as this

Has never been referred to as that by others

This is a genius scene which takes inspiration from the most memorable sequence in Kung Fu Panda 2, in which Lord Shen utters the chilling line, "You see, I need my Kung Fu Panda Too." (So powerful. Brought tears to my eyes.)

Smarmy. Arrogant. Unearned. Even if this was the Kung Fu Panda I knew and loved, what a pompous way to put it.

The Staff of Wisdom

It's pretty great. I tuned out all the lore, mostly because the first scene with this object is Po exclaiming "The staff of wisdom!" followed by nothing but exposition.

It's the implication that he's nothing without it, and that it embodies the Dragon Warrior. He's reduced to a staff which essentially has no function until the end. It sticks out in every scene because this meathead carries it everywhere, like its his house keys.

This one is a nitpick, but I think it looks stupid. It was fine in the third film because it functions as a little trophy for him, having defeated General Kai and finding peace with his identity — but it's too small for him, reads like a fucking lollipop and he looks ridiculous holding it because he doesn't use it in most of his scenes so it's just dead weight for the entire runtime.

The Final Act

This part is a little less structured — I had stopped taking proper notes and started typing 'WHY??' and 'FUCK YOU'.

The Kung Fu Masters. My favourite part of the film, as a Lord Shen enthusiast, was when they brought him in for two seconds and then had him sit in a cage with no spoken dialogue for the remainder of the sequence. Why are they here? Why is kung fu stored in the spirit? (pee is stored in the balls?)

Just tried to talk about the bowing scene again but I just know I'm going to give myself an aneurysm. Postponed.

The defeat of The Chameleon. Among the most memorable villain defeats, we bring you: head trauma.

The Amalgamation. Oh man. Sorcery was already a stretch in the worldbuilding of Kung Fu Panda. Now you're telling me The Chameleon can shift into a huge amalgamation of all the kung fu masters? This has nothing to do with kung fu anymore — artificially inflated as a threat by being... bigger.

Spoilers, She doesn't even do anything with this. Kind of just runs around snapping at their heels.

The Chameleon really doesn't utilise her abilities at all. She turns into Lord Shen to... to kick Po. Not to manipulate him psychologically or anything, but to... kick him. Alright.

They opted to make the fight sequence cool (by having the Chameleon shift between forms for no real purpose) but the fight scene is a nothing burger, in which no real damage is done to either party until Po busts out the pwn stick.

Closing Statements

I don't hate Kung Fu Panda 4 (blatant lie). I wanted the film to succeed, genuinely. But the state of it now...

Mess. Bury it.

[dilf-in-peril]

Drew and Seth are somehow the least natural people alive. It's like they are wrestlers pretending to be wrestlers pretending to be wrestlers. 90% entrance and 0% work. Gunther looks at the camera once and it's like wow, that's a dude, a real dude, who is emoting, and Drew does a five minute silent film routine instead and it sucks ass. Seth at least looks pretty good when he's eating shit though.

[tonguetyd]

Honestly tho. Full agree on the "not my lane, like what you like" stance, but oh my GODS. Like don't get me wrong, i have eyes that can see-ish and Taylor has had some LOOKS™ but this is- not one of them

(no comment on Travis, literally have no clue who he is and I'm cool to let it stay that way [but from an objective standpoint literally what is that outfit])

Like. Is she objectively a conventionally attractive skinny blonde lady. Yes. Am I into that? Sometimes. But THAT look? Gotta be a no from me dawg.

And Travis…I have never found that man attractive and maybe it’s just cuz before they got together he was always next to his brother?

Which. Have y’all seen Jason Kelce? WOO. Mm. That is the kinda man I am into. (He is married with children and also plays for Philly so there are a number of things that are against him.) But DAMN that is the shit I am talking about! (Yall already know my type, it involves the word bear, so yall should be picturing him if you don’t feel like looking him up)

And compared to HIM?!?! I just. This. This man does nothing for me.

And then also his sense of fashion is fuckin WHACK lmao

[exaltior-a]

I have the dirk/john tag blocked. because I don't like dirk/john. But every time I see it in the dirkjake tag it's a battle of wills about pressing the show post button to see if people are being wrong about my stupid favourite ship. And usually they are. Siiigh