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lollybliz · 5 years ago

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bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights. Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm. “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

#fic rec #bnha #mha #tododeku #todobakudeku #kiribaku #shinkami #shindeku #erasermic #To Be Continued

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nazghoulz · 4 years ago

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The Definitive Ranking of Richard Armitage’s Acting Roles, Rated Exclusively by How Hot I Find Him In Screengrabs

Richard Armitage. As a diehard Thorin Oakenshield fan I certainly have a complicated relationship with him, mainly because I can never decide if I find him inherently hot or not. On the one hand, I’m a hardcore Thorinfucker. On the other hand my gay ass sees a headshot of Mr. Armitage and I’m just like, “Oh, no thank you.” So in order to set myself to rights, I have gone through Mr. Armitage’s IMDB and done a definitive ranking of all his 44 screen roles on there, based completely and arbitrarily on how hot I find him in screenshots. (Thank you to all the hardcore Armitage Fuckers who keep wordpress blogs with screengrabs of his various cameos and bit parts; my respect for you cannot be put into words.) I haven’t seen like 90% of these properties, and I didn’t bother to research them, so these are mainly just gut first impressions. I hope this helps anyone else out there who as confused by him as I am. Enjoy ?

44. Father Quart in The Seville Communion/The Man From Rome (2020) — ??/10

I don’t think this movie is out yet? Idk I haven’t been able to find any stills of him, let alone much information about the movie itself. It’s listed on his IMDB though! And apparently he’s playing a priest...which could be extremely 👁️👁️ if done correctly.

43. Unnamed Naboo Fighter Pilot in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) — 1/10

OH SWEETIE NO!!!!! This physically pains me to say this, because I unironically love this terrible movie with my whole heart, but unlike a yung Kiera Knightley’s role (pictured front and center) as Padmé’s loyal body double Sabé, this is probably a cameo that we would all like to forget about. The only thing Richard has to offer is this unfortunate turtle-faced realness. This helmet does him no favors.

42. Man in Pub in Boon (1992) — 2/10

As far as I know this is Richard’s first acting credit on IMDB, and he for sure is working the background extra energy. Go on girl give us nothing! He does have a decent backside though, and it’s better than looking at unfortunate turtle face, so I give this one a 2.

41. Paul Andrews in Between the Sheets (2003) — 2/10

I can’t really articulate why, but I absolutely despise every screenshot I see of Richard Armitage in this role. He is completely unhot, and not even in a way I can laugh at. He takes no advantage of his assets, he has no charisma, no magnetism, no nothing. This is Richard Armitage at his most white bread rando, in a way that makes me actively dislike him. Pbbbbttth. Bad. Throw this whole thing away.

40. Craig Parker in Casualty (2001) — 2/10

I don’t know, it’s like the perfect storm of the gelled 2001 hair, the terrible quarter? eighth? zip sweater, and overall, er, skeezy vibes that he gives off that makes him particularly unhot in this role. Perhaps not as reprehensible as Unhot Paul, but still. I think the sheer boringness of this has to count for something. Blech.

39. Dr. Tom Steele in Doctors (2001) — 2.5/10

He honestly looks like a villain in an early season of Alias, which... well. Quentin Tarantino was cast as a bit-part villain in Alias season one, so take that as you will. But at least he’s compelling here, which is why he gets half a point over Unhot Paul.

38. Steven in Frozen (2005) — 3/10

Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends! Also short haircuts do nothing for you, Richard. Styled like this, they just serve to make you look sort of like a sleaze.

37. Peter Macduff in ShakespeaRe-Told (2005) — 3/10

He honestly looks like he could be a guest star in Friends in this one, where he’s a guy named Jason who Ross meets in Central Perk where they find they have a lot in common. Ross introduces Jason to Monica and they really hit it off, but it all comes crashing down because while Jason is sensitive and writes poetry, he also thinks that the Earth is flat. The rest of the episode is trying to get rid of Jason while he becomes increasingly obsessed with Monica, and Ross cannot quite let go trying to prove to Jason that the world is round. Anyway. Macduff Flat Earth Jason isn’t quite as unhot as Unhot Paul, but he’s pretty much on the same level as Tired Steven.

36. Phillip Durrant in Marple (2007) — 3/10

Something about him in this image really makes me want to punch him in the face. It’s huge Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3 energy.

35. Young Claude Monet in The Impressionists (2006) — 3.5/10

I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND IS !!! CARNIVAL BARKER !!!!! STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE THE WORST GOATEE IN HISTORY !!! I was actually going to give Yung Claude a 2 but the more I look at this terrible beard the more impressed I am with the boldness of this look, so I had to bump it up to 3.5. Idk. Just look at this. It’s incredible, especially knowing what kind of beard Armitage can grow himself !!!!!!!!

34. Heinz Kruger in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) — 3.5/10

This is definitely the best looking he’s been so far in this list, but he’s a Nazi in this one, which makes him unsexy on principle. But do I feel a little something when he gets pinned to the ground by jacked Chris Evans with the above look on his face right before he swallows his cyanide pill? Can neither confirm nor deny. They are also truly playing into his inherently sinister bone structure, so I can respect that.

33. Percy Courtney in Miss Marie Lloyd (2007) — 4/10

Even including Yung Claude and Nazi Heinz, I think Nothing Percy is probably the weakest of Richard’s period looks, mostly because he looks like, well, nothing. He certainly doesn’t pull off that top hat like he does in North and South, and the secret to that might be the lack of sideburns. In this one he just sort of reminds me of the asshole fiance in Titanic.

32. Philip Turner in The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (2005) — 4/10

He’s really giving off bargain bin Hugh Jackman as Wolverine vibes here, if Logan’s energy was more “murderer in a Hallmark channel mystery” than “superhero.” Though, given what sort of show this is, that may be the point! Idk, this isn’t the worst. At least he has a decent haircut in this one. Still, I feel absolutely nothing when I look at him. He’s simply royalty-free stock music given human form.

31. Dr. Alec Track in The Golden Hour (2005) — 4.5/10

I could see how this conceivably be sexy in this role, but to be honest, he’s still nothing to me, sorry. He gets some extra points because he obviously worked out for this role and the hard nips through a white undershirt is a commendable look. I whole-heartedly respect Doctor Alec’s thottitude.

30. Daryl in Staged (1999) — 4.5/10

Speaking of thottitude!!!!! This is one cream-faced business boy that I can certainly get into! He looks like the love interest in a pre-Hayes code homoerotic thriller from the early 1930s. I’m sure that’s just because of the lighting and general staging of this production, but hm... demure. Love it.

29. Capt. Ian Macalwain in Ultimate Force (2003) — 4.5/10

Well, he looks like a character from M*A*S*H but with no charisma, or like an extra in The Great Escape who snitches on Steve McQueen to the Nazis. Also in half the pictures I find of him from this he’s wearing this terrible beret, which I know he can pull off because of a role that ranks much higher on this list. Whoever styles this man really needs to pay attention to what sort of headgear they put on him.

28. Epiphanes in Cleopatra (1999) — 5/10

Speaking of headgear, you know what?? He doesn’t look awful here. A solid 5, perfectly acceptable. I think the helmet does a lot to accentuate the sharpness of his face in this extremely bit part, though the eyeliner definitely also helps as well.

27. John Mulligan in Moving On (2009) — 5/10

Mr. Armitage’s characters can really have potential when a production’s stylist allows him to wear scruff (IN A WAY THAT LOOKS NATURAL, LOOKING AT YOU YUNG CLAUDE). However, as it is with John Mulligan in Moving On here, he just sort of looks like a rando? They’re not playing into the inherent angularity of his face, which for me makes it sort of confusing regarding what sort of emotion I’m supposed to feel while looking at him. As it is, I’m just like, “Yup, that sure is a regular human man, right there.”

26. Smug Man at Party in This Year’s Love (1999) — 5/10

This is the face of a man who less smug and is more DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND !!!! Idk. He’s cute here, I’ll admit. That’s all I have to say about it.

25. John Standring in Sparkhouse (2002) — 5.5/10

I enjoy the bold choice of giving him wavy hair in this one, but I’m not sure he quite pulls it off. It doesn’t look bad, per se, just... he looks completely nonthreatening. Which I guess could be someone’s thing, but not mine. He honestly looks like a knock-off Will Graham, sans dogs and trauma.

24. Gary in Into the Storm (2014) — 5.5/10

I think the thing that really gets me is that this character’s name is Gary. Who on God’s green Earth looks at Richard Armitage and goes, “Ah yes, you do look like a Gary” ??? I don’t think I know of a single non-American Gary, especially since the name Gary only got popularized after Gary Cooper renamed himself after his hometown of Gary, Indiana!!!! It wasn’t really a name for human men before that!!!! I want to live in the alternate universe where Frank Cooper was originally from Albuquerque and named himself Albuquerque Cooper and this character is named as such. Gary. Really.

23. King Oleron in Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) — 5.5/10

I truly hate how much his facial expressions in these stills remind me of Thorin, considering how bad he looks otherwise. Like his face his fine, I guess, especially since this is the first instance of his full beard. I’m charmed despite myself! Take me to wonderland, O King.

22. Adam Price in The Stranger (2020) — 5.5/10

For as compelling as people call this series, Richard here isn’t very much so imo. But despite my utter lack of interest, he doesn’t look bad per se. He just sort of has that stubbly white man blandness that colors a lot of his more recent roles. Like, at least his bad mid-2000′s styling had character. This is just the visual representation of a vague handwave.

21. Harry Kennedy in The Vicar of Dibley (2006) — 6/10

Gosh... floppy hair, cute sweaters... he also seems to be smiling a lot in this one, which is nice! The only thing I have to complain about is that he looks very much like if Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman circa Kate and Leopold had a baby, which may not necessarily be too much of a bad thing, but I can’t unsee it.

20. Sgt. John Porter in Strike Back (2010) — 6/10

Ah, back to poorly suited haircuts. At least he’s a little bit gritter and grimier than we’ve seen so far, and I will say Richard Armitage does look good covered in dirt, as we will see later on. Also he’s got biceps in this one, which, hell yeah.

19. Ricky Deeming in Inspector George Gently (2007) — 6/10

I’M HAVING THE HARDEST TIME RIGHT NOW RANKING THIS ONE BC OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE WHITE SCARF-RIDING LEATHERS COMBO!!! WHICH ABSOLUTE GENIUS DECIDED THIS!!!! EVERY SCREENSHOT OF HIM IN HIS EPISODE HAS THIS!!! Part of me just wants to give Stylish Ricky a big fat 10 because I’m gay and adore the sheer audacity of this look, but I still have to be fair and rank his overall aura accordingly. I think he’s a handsome extremely gay-coded motorcycle lad in this one, but he doesn’t exactly rev my engine, so to speak.

18. Lucas North in Spooks (2008) — 6/10

The tattoos really spice this one up. Luke could have been plagued by the problems inherent in Regular Mulligan’s Moving On styling, but this guy has an edge to him. He has a good haircut and 5′ o’clock shadow, which is something I’ve figured out is integral to Armitage Hotness. I feel like if I got to know this character I could possibly find him sexy.

17. Raymond de Merville in Pilgrimage (2017) — 6.5/10

Speaking of bad haircuts, this one is his undoing. This is almost the perfect balance between full beard and short haircut, which is the only way a short haircut works on this man, but they ruined it with this one! They gave him a bad bowl fade, which completely undoes any inherent sexiness that comes with being a knight. Not even the fact that he’s covered in dirt can turn me on at this point, ugh. Guy of Gisbourne he is not!!!

16. Tom Calahan in Brain on Fire (2016) — 6.5/10

Oh hell yes, WELCUM 2 DA DILF ZONE!!! I’m not super duper thrilled with the looks I’ve seen from this movie, but he seems scruffy and comfy in a way that is slightly refreshing for ol’ Richard. This is certainly the best of his normie looks so far. I’m just sad it took them 24 years to figure out how to style him properly for sympathetic roles in a contemporary setting.

15. James in My Zoe (2019) — 6.5/10

It’s another DILF look, slightly edgier than Comfy Tom but none of that sexy tired energy that we’ll see from Ocean’s 8. I don’t know !! Jimmy here doesn’t exactly thrill me, I think I prefer Tom’s flannels to this sharp bomber jacket/white t shirt combo seen here. Oh well! I am extremely 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 that he can just casually palm that soccer ball like that.

14. John Thornton in North & South (2004) — 7/10

Alright. I’m sorry. I just don’t find him that hot in this role. Like yeah, he’s got the scruff and the sideburns that work to his advantage, and the setting does make this character inherently sexy, but in some screenshots he screams too much of an aforementioned Kate and Leopold (the best Meg Ryan movie, imo) era Hugh Jackman to me. And if I was particularly into that, I would just watch Kate and Leopold again. I will admit, however, that this rating could be subject to change if I actually took the time to watch this show.

13. Chop in Urban and the Shed Crew (2015) — 7/10

...I’M??? INTO IT??? He’s dirty and scruffy but also has kind eyes.... I feel like this is knock off Will Graham who has blossomed into his own. His run down, grime-covered own. He’s back edging into Bradley Cooper territory, but somehow it works for him in this one. Like, I’m 89% sure it’s the DILF vibes I’ve been getting from the other screengrabs I’ve seen of this role, and this particular flavor of DILF is way sexier than Jimmy or Comfy Tom.

12. Francis Dolarhyde in Hannibal (2015) — 7/10

His Caesar cut doesn’t bother me quite so much in this, probably because he is pretty explicitly playing a villain in a series that doesn’t have any basis in reality. A villain who is ripped, and who can effortlessly throw real Will Graham around. Armitage uses his inherent sinisterness to great effect as the Red Dragon, which is good actually! I think a lot of how hot he is in any particular role really depends on whether the styling allows him to play to his strengths...idk! I’m not usually a huge fan of clean shaven Armitage, but it works for Frank here.

11. Daniel Miller in Berlin Station (2016) — 7/10

As much as I adore this particular look (beard + fade + green army jacket), I have to compromise and give Danny a 7/10 because it seems like the first season they styled him in usual stubbly white man blandness. I’d say screengrabs from s1 are a solid 6, while this might be an 8, so the average is a 7. That’s all I have to say about this!

10. Claude Becker in Ocean’s 8 (2018) — 7.5/10

!!!!! I love him in this role, I about had a conniption in the theater because I absolutely was not expecting him!! He looks perfectly ruffled and scruffy, edgier than either Comfy Tom or Jimmy, which I’m very into. That plus his two borzois (objectively the best looking dogs on the planet) really put Old Claude over the top for me. Thank you, thank you Hollywood stylists for finally figuring out what to do with him for roles as a Normal Man.

9. Richard Hall in The Lodge (2019) — 7.5/10

I don’t know anything about this movie, but it seems pretty spooky, which I’m into. I think Richard is well suited for this sort of horror/thriller role, where his angular features can play into the overall vibe rather than some hapless stylist trying to work around them. He looks like another cozy DILF here but with a bite to him, like someone who would do anything to protect his brood. I mean, he’s teaching this child to shoot! But idk, he also has the potential for Jack Nicholson in The Shining energy, which I also could be....hm... into. Idk. Is this on Netflix??

8. Lee in Cold Feet (2003) — 7.5/10

FUN!!! FLIRTY!!!! OTTER VIBES!!!!! I LOVE THIS, he seems so goofy here, and Armitage doesn’t usually pull off goofy that well! I’ve giggled at literally every screenshot I could find from the four episodes he was in this show, he seems like a real himbo. I’m a huge fan, even if it comes at the cost of dehydration abs.

7. William Chatford in Malice Aforethought (2005) — 7.5/10

Hoo hoo HOO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching the new season of The Alienist and the new dark and gritty HBO reboot of Perry Mason back to back, but sue me, I love the bold choice they made with giving him a pencil moustache here. He looks like a hot Howard Hughes; if cream-faced business boy Daryl from Staged is the young ingenue in the pre-Hayes Code thriller I cast him in, Bill here is the sexy antagonist. I desperately want to hear a perfect Transatlantic accent coming out out of that mouth. This look fucks and I’m sticking to that no matter what.

6. Trevor Belmont in Castlevania (2017) — 8/10

Ah, yes, speaking of king himbos... do me a favor and look me right in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t fuck Trevor Belmont. You can’t, can you?????? At least 80% of Richard Armitage’s inherent hotness stems from his voice, and you can’t tell me there isn’t anything sexier than thinking about letting that guy loose in a recording studio and letting him say fuck. Look, Trevor may be drawn that way, but it’s the absolute stupidity coming out of his mouth in that sweet baritone that makes me want to be raw-dogged by 100% pure Romanian beef.

5. Dr. Scott White in Sleepwalker (2017) — 8/10

Much like I had intimated when talking about Hot Danny in Berlin Station, this is Peak contemporary normie Richard Armitage styling. I honestly think The Hobbit either awakened something in him, or casting directors finally figured out he looks way good with a full beard. His crew cut even works with his whole look, which is a miracle!!!! I think he should be contractually obligated to have a full beard in all of his future roles, but that’s just me.

4. Guy of Gisbourne in Robin Hood (2006) — 8.5/10

I honestly can’t believe I’m ranking Guy so far up here, but honestly, THIS RULES!!!!!! THIS FUCKS!!!!!!!!! Which is incredible due to Guy’s lack of beard, but I’m weirdly okay with it? Like sure, he looks like he’d probably call me a slur in front of his shitty friends, but he also looks like he could tenderly pound me into the mattress in a way that would have me questioning my commitment to the “no emotions” clause of our clandestine no-strings-attached sex agreement. Anyway. Guy of Gisbourne if you see this im free thursday night. please message me back if you’re free thursday night when i am fr

3. Angus in Macbeth (1999) — 8.5/10

HHHNGHGNHNGHGN HE’S SO HOT.....!!! HE’S SO HOT!!!!! Leather jacket!!! Scruff!! Dirt!!!! Flattering beret!!!!! He’s so hot, and the worst part about this is that this was filmed in NINETEEN NINETY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means we could have always had this, had stylists and makeup artists PLAYED TO HIS STRENGTHS!!!!! He’s so hot I’m getting legitimately angry. Without scruff and dirt this man is nothing. N o t h i n g.

2. John Proctor in The Crucible (2014) — 9/10

Look, I know I have a type. But... this guy is just so hot, Daniel Day Lewis please step aside!!!! Contemporary theater historians describe John Proctor as a “strong beast of a man,” and... hhhHHOOOGH HELL YEAH!!! HELL !!!! YEAH !!!!! Like, his dick got almost his entire Puritan village, including himself, accused of witchcraft and like, looking at this guy, I kind of get it. I would probably go to war over the raw animal beauty of this horrible dirty, greasy man. Sue me, I confess. I saw Goody Osburn with the devil.

1. Thorin II Oakenshield in The Hobbit Trilogy — 9.5/10

Come on. You knew it was going to be this guy. Look at my icon for christ’s sake. I am completely biased, I cannot look at his pictures objectively. Anyway. Thank you so much for reading, this was a very stupid list.

#rene rambles #this is the worst thing ive ever done tbh #richard armitage

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technobladetimestamps · 4 years ago

Text

Nov 15 Stream Timestamps

Timestamps from Technoblade’s “THE EVE OF REVOLUTION (dream SMP)”

Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x

Timestamps with hyperlinks below

01:46 tagging everyone in the channel member discord / level 231 03:43 agenda book / revolution tomorrow / slept through stream time / sleeps twice a day for 4 hours 05:21 “I did not write 100 pages. Or did I. Maybe I have a traitor manifesto on the other 99 pages” / no steering wheel / coronablade jokes are very funny / went to the doctor and figured out his cough / “Stomach acid is useful for at least one thing” 08:47 can’t believe no one told him these things about post 1.8 / splash potions, regen, thorns / thorns aren’t intuitive and no one told him / youtube ads 12:50 “At least I didn’t insult the Ethans, the Ethans are everywhere” 16:02 “I was gonna talk about something on the way but I forgot. And now it’s gone forever” / “They found your base” “Well I have livestreamed it” 17:04 wants to buy a gong to be the ultimate sellout timer / “I would get kicked out of my parents house so quickly, but for the day it takes them to do that I would get so many subscribers” 20:31 thorns stacking 25:21 “There’s actually some pretty affordable gongs out there” 27:32 vc with BBH and Tommy / confusing Tommy and Tubbo / “Don’t you hate it when people just consider streamers an extension of their famous friends Tommy” / “I’m just the child from Technoblade’s videos 29:08 “Let's be allies. Can I have your helmet and boots?” / saying he’s rude for hijacking the call but forgetting to leave call / double sellout 33:55 “Me and Techno the leaders of Pogtopia” / “That is a fair assumption” / “I can’t believe Badboyhalo hates his fans” 34:57 BBH offering Tommy a bow / “Tommy you are so broke” / “Average sized man” / no one believes Tommy is 6’3” / Techno is taller in game 36:34 just wearing a face mask / “I do not support any of the views being espoused by this particular individual” / Tommy trying to imply covid but BBH asks if he’s talking about bigfoot 37:39 Techno hunting down BBH / Midair stabbing / “I’M SO GOOD AT MINECRAFT” / Tommy desperately trying to be included 40:41 “Oh Badboy halo~” / “It just doesn’t work when your name is 4 syllables” / detective work to find BBH 42:52 “So you want Tommy to be successful?” / “I wouldn’t go that far. I want my enemies to be unsuccessful” 43:58 battle ender chest plan / “I’m going to deafen. I don’t know why I’m explaining to you my pvp tactics” 46:15 “I would be absolutely furious if Tommy stole my 4th fastest horse. Tommy and I go way back” / being excited to see Tommy / Tommy could have sworn at BBH as an attack 47:34 “I guess I could spare a little bit of iron” / “I think that was a sarcastic joke that I didn’t understand” / Techno picked youtube over girls many years ago / Subpoena pet war 50:37 recruiting Techno to fight Sapnap / place where Tommy ran over Dream 55:22 vc with Tommy and Sapnap 56:51 “Sapnap I hate men so much. If I see a man in the street I grab a knife and plunge it into his neck” / “Wow surprise attack” / thought it’d be a real fight 59:09 needs Sapnap to come geared / “audience retention” / “I saw Sapnap fighting Punz earlier and they had potions and full netherite an it was fun” Tommy tries to suggest Techno sit the fight out / “You asked for me to be here” / “Tommy I’m stabbing someone with armour and it might just be you” 1:00:29 arranging a fight with BBH / “Not now sellout timer I haven’t earned it” / 161k / “New phone who this” (to Tommy) / 2v1 with BBH and Antfrost 1:04:38 hasn’t done a lot of fully geared 1.16 fights / trying not to make fun of Antfrost’s fire prot helmet 1:06:30 Sapnap and Tommy have worked out their differences and don’t need Techno 1:07:34 “I love my fans, I forgot to plug my cha nnel and they’re all reminding me” / “Only 1v2” “I could only find 2 guys” 1:09:25 “I’m so unbelievably lost” / “I have to have seen a location to add it to my human gps” / Techno hates the ugly pranks that take forever to fix 1:11:28 server losing connection / guy who Techno told not to drop out is going back to school 1:13:20 “That’s the thing about senior yearbook quotes, its right at the end of the year...the amount of time to beat you up is shockingly low” 1:16:24 offering Tommy assistance / the Dream Team has logged on / “I have to be quiet...My parents are threatening to turn off the wifi” / “You’re getting owned in every world” / Techno taking his sweet time 1:19:11 “We want to kill Sapnap” “agreed” / “Dream alliance pog” / “unless he meant to add a comma” / vc with Dream and George / Techno talking over Tommy 1:21:28 “I feel like Thunder is a werewolf” / Tommy questioning Dream and George / “I have my swag and no one has that” “Well they’d have that if they killed you and picked up your swag” 1:32:22 “You guys all work for me” / everyone killing Tommy / “anti Sapnap expedition” / “ask George ask George” “ask Dream” 1:23:54 stream crashes / and also his whole pc / asking for viewers to come back from Tommy 1:26:39 joining vc / Dream recap / cutting back on calling Tommy lame 1:28:01 photoshoot / “So much clout in this one picture” / Sapnap begging Tommy to kill his pets / “What if [the pets] belong to some god tier pvper” / S-L-A-V 1:30:12 “L-A-M-E” / “Shoutout to the slavs” / giving the fox a grapple 1:31:20 Dream taking off his leggings / fox eating the gapple / “Dream you are a highly unusual individual” / back to 125k 1:34:05 “People can’t yelling me for not roleplaying when Dream is mooning us in the background” / “You can disrespect my family, you can disrespect my religion, but you can’t disrespect minecraft” / “I hate this man” “NO” 1:35:40 Tommy challenging Sapnap a fight / Tommy trying to make Techno kill pets for him / Karl thirsting for the animatic 1:39:34 “If you make it out alive, give this to Sapnap’s cat for me” “If I make it out alive all his pets actually die” / Techno shooting the start arrow / “I’ll do the countdown...because I am an impartial mediator” / “You know how between those fight they have those sexy girl?” (Dream takes off his armor) / very engaging fight 1:42:31 post fight / “My chat’s spa.mming lame. It’s not my fault chat, Tommy doesn’t know how to crit” / “You might as well be naked” “Please don’t say that Dream” 1:44:28 “I wouldn’t say you’re that far from S-Tier” / “What tier am I in Technoblade?” “Who are you?” / “That was not an insult, I don’t know people’s voices” / “This entire server is just people that have killed Tommyinnit” 1:45:40 SMP Earth / “What country did you have” “I owned the world” / “A single country? (Dream) / trying to thorns kill Thunder / “Maybe if you die again the armor will come back” 1:47:12 Techno letting Karl trap him / Quackity tempting fate / snitch Dream / framing George 1:49:44 Dream complaining about trident flight / Techno bailing bc of boredom 1:57:19 Awesamdude leaving a potato trail / vc with Quackity and Sam / lying for content / complaining about getting free stuff 1:59:58 still lying to Quackity / “Quackity my entire chat is spa.mming lame, you’re going to need to pick up the pace” / heading to the jungle base 2:02:18 saturation stew is useful / “especially for content” / “If Carl dies I’d be okay with that, but not Andrew” 2:03:49 “Is Carl the orphan you said you were going to adopt” “Let’s go with that” / “If Carl dies I stop donating 2:04:31 Awesamdude snitching on Quackity / “I would be furious if I came back and Carl wasn’t in the exact block I left him” / lots of threats 2:06:41 “I’m not an orphan” “Not yet” 2:11:03 “It’s not an experiment, I’m just putting my hypothesis through multiple controlled trials where I adjust variables and record the results” / “I care about about the armor much more than the horse” 2:13:01 “Are you betraying anyone?” “No. I would never betray my personal ideals” / “What if the people you’re fighting alongside have different ideals?” “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it” 2:17:28 Quackity’s failed forgery in chat

#technoblade #technoblade timestamps #THE EVE OF REVOLUTION (dream SMP)#dream smp

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worldoffae · 5 years ago

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My Small Joy - Rowaelin AU

A/N: Strap in cause chapter 3 is a long one. I feel like my biggest struggle is dialog and getting it to flow good so I hope this chapter turned out okay. Next chapter will be pretty steamy - so be ready. ;)

Story Rating: Explicit (brief mentions of sex)

Summary: Six months ago Aelin got the worst news of her life. She would never be able to get pregnant, to give birth to a baby that she so desperately wanted. Deciding that Aelin needs some fun in her life, Lysandra takes her out to a club where she meets the silver haired man of her dreams. A one-night stand takes a turn when 6 weeks later Aelin finds out she’s pregnant! Her world is turned upside down when she runs into him again at a coffee shop. Aelin tells him the truth and this handsome stranger tells her he wants to raise their baby together and she agrees.

Masterlist

Chapter 3:

The semester ended and just like that, Aelin was officially done with college. At least that was one less thing for her to worry about. Between working at the bookstore and trying to find an internship Aelin spent almost all of her free time with Rowan.

It had been six weeks since she found out she was pregnant and had run into him again. It had been six weeks of them slowly opening up to one another and telling each other secrets they had kept hidden for so long.

Aelin learned that outside of Rowan’s sexy and brooding exterior, he was actually incredibly kind and sweet. He was born in Ireland and lived there up until three years ago. When he was younger his father’s job would often send him to America to work so they would spend a few months of the year there before going home to Ireland.

He told her about his wife that was killed by a drunk driver. They had met in high school and dated throughout college before they got married. She was a month pregnant by the time they had their wedding. After she died, Rowan had spiraled for a couple of years. He sold their house and lived on his own in a shitty apartment. His friends, the people he currently worked with, had convinced him to come and work with them. Their company relocated them to New York and he’s been living here for the last three years.

He worked for a photography company. Rowan showed her some of his photos and he was pretty damn good.

Aelin spilled her guts about her own past. She was terrified he would decide he had made a mistake and would run out of her life. Besides Lysandra, her own friends didn’t know everything she had done. Not even Aedion. But Rowan took it in stride and held her hand through it all. He didn't judge her, just looked at her with understanding that she did what she had to to survive.

She lost her parents when she was twelve years old. The foster system had trouble contacting any known family since her aunt, Aedion’s mom, and her own mother weren’t on talking terms. So they placed Aelin in a group home that was under the careful watch of a now known criminal, Arobynn Hamel.

The group home is where she had met Lysandra and Sam. They got there about a year after she started living there. Arobynn trained Aelin to be a petty thief. Trained all of them. Told them that if they wanted to continue living in such a nice place with somebody that cared about them, they had to earn their keep. By the time Aelin turned 18 and was able to leave, she was scary good at stealing.

At first, she hated Sam and Lysandra. But she and Sam were the best at being criminals so they were often teamed up for jobs. And they ended up falling in love. He was a year older than her and was able to leave the home before she could. He went to academy to become a cop. He said he wanted to right all the wrong he was forced to do.

When Aelin turned 18, she moved in with Sam. Aelin worked at a disgusting bar illegally to help pay for the apartment. She and Sam talked about what their life would be like, about how much they loved each other and how excited they were for a day they could start their own family.

Sam was officially a cop and had begun working to uncover the truth about who Arobynn Hamel was. He was the lead officer in the bust that led to Arobynn being arrested. But Arobynn knew they were coming and put up a fight. Sam was shot and killed during the bust.

Aelin had sat up waiting for him to come home. It was around midnight that she got the call saying Sam had been fatally shot. She had fallen to her knees on the spot and screamed at what had been stolen from her. For what had been stolen from the nineteen year old that had his whole life ahead of him. She ended up robbing a pawn shop and stealing a gun. She was mad with grief and tried to break into the jail they were holding Arobynn at to kill him. She didn’t make it far before she was arrested.

Aelin ended up spending a few months in jail. Lysandra was the one that picked her up when she got out. She had heard about what happened to Sam and her. She offered Aelin a place to live. She said she didn’t want to hold onto the anger that was fed to them from Arobynn and Aelin agreed.

A few months later and Adeion had shown up at her doorstep. Her cousin had finally tracked her down and found out where she was. He moved into town and they got to know each other again.

She had never even told Chaol about going to jail. Once when they were dating he had locked himself out of his apartment. Aelin had picked the lock to open the door and he made it very clear that he wanted no part in any illegal activities. So she had kept her past hidden to him and he had never asked. No wonder their relationship crashed and burned.

A chime from her phone brought Aelin back to the present. She pulled it out of her pocket to find a text from Rowan.

Saw this and thought you might like it.

Attached was a photo of a small puppy with its butt in the air and paws splayed out in front of it, tongue hanging out while it stared at a caterpillar.

She felt her lips pull into a smile. She was beginning to form a reply of her own when she heard a familiar voice call her name.

“Aelin?”

She looked up from her phone to see Dorian walking towards her. His face brightened up when she saw him. Shit, she thought.

She hadn’t seen him since that party right after she and Chaol had broken up. When she had just found out the news that she wouldn’t be able to bear a child and had been a mess. They probably all thought she was broken over their break-up.

“Hey, Dorian. How are you?” she asked, trying to sound cheerful.

“I’m good. But, how are you? I haven’t seen you in forever. What’s it been, like half a year?” Dorian said. He leaned in and wrapped Aelin in a big hug.

“Yeah, something like that,” she forced out.

Dorian looked at her up and down and Aelin was grateful for the thick jacket she was wearing to ward off the cold January air. She was beginning to show a little and she wasn’t ready for that conversation.

His eyes softened as he said, “We all really miss you, Aelin.”

“I’m really sorry I haven’t been around. These last few months have been… difficult. I had some things I needed to work through.”

He nodded. “I get it. I’m actually having a birthday party tonight, if you’d maybe come? Aedion and Lysandra will be there. I had asked Lysandra to ask you to come but I had never heard back.”

Aelin opened up her mouth to make an excuse and realized she had none. “Um, yeah, I can try to be there.”

Dorian perked up a little at that and smiled at her. “Great. It’s at my place at 8.”

Aelin felt panic begin clawing its way through her chest at the thought of having to go alone. So she said, “Could I bring a friend?”

Surprise flashed across his face. “Yeah, that’s fine with me. It’ll just be the usual gang so the more the merrier.”

Aelin smiled a small smile and nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you tonight then. I gotta go though. Doctor’s appointment.”

They hugged again and went their separate ways.

Aelin pulled her phone out as she continued walking down the street and sent a text to Rowan.

Hey, how would you feel about going to a party with me tonight?

She watched the ellipses pop up as she opened the door to her doctor’s office and walked inside. A party? An odd request for somebody who can’t drink.

I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out of it. It’s for a birthday party. What do you say, Buzzard? You in?

“Your wish is my command,” a deep and accented voice said in her ear.

Aelin jumped at the sound of his voice. “Shit you scared me,” she said as she smacked Rowan’s arm.

He chuckled and walked with her as she got checked in at the front desk. They sat down and waited for her name to be called.

“I ran into Dorian on the way here,” Aelin said, her knee bouncing.

“Oh?” Rowan’s brows rose.

She nodded. “The birthday party is for him. I got a bit nervous about going by myself.”

A moment of silence passed between them before Rowan said, “Why not ask Lysandra or Aedion to go with you?”

“They’re already going to be there.” Rowan had already met the two of them and he and Aedion got along a lot better than Aelin thought they would. “You can say no to going, you know.”

“That’s not why I asked,” Rowan said softly when he noticed the change in Aelin’s tone. “Me being there will just bring up questions and I didn’t know if that was something you were ready for.”

Aelin took a deep breath. Rowan was just trying to be thoughtful. She needed to stop jumping to conclusions and assume he was trying to find an out. He had more than proven how badly he wanted this baby too.

So instead she shook her head and said, “I know. But I’d really like for them to meet you anyways. I’m going to have to come clean about this pregnancy at some point and that will just start the whole, ‘Well who’s the father?’ questions.”

“So I’m the one being outed now.” Rowan’s chuckle sent shivers down Aelin’s spine and she tried her best to keep it from showing.

“I’ll just introduce you as my friend. They don’t need to know that part yet. But I do miss them. And I don’t want to hide the shit I’ve been dealing with anymore.”

She felt Rowan’s gaze on her and she snuck a glance at him. There was a softness in his eyes and smile that had her breath catching in her throat. She had done her best to ignore the feelings he brought up in her. And she had caught him on more than one occasion giving her the same heated looks she gave him when he wasn’t looking to know he felt the same. The agreement was to get to know each other first. They had their baby to think about.

“Galythinius?”

Aelin tore her eyes from Rowan to look at the nurse that called her name. She stood up and Rowan did the same before they followed the nurse to her room. Aelin got settled on the bed and waited for the doctor.

“Hello. Are you Aelin Galythinius? I’m doctor Towers. It’s nice to meet you,” the doctor said. She was beautiful with her long, curly hair and golden skin. She gave Aelin a smile as she nodded.

“I know this pregnancy has been a bit scary so far. But today is a day to celebrate. You’re at 12 weeks so you're officially done with your first trimester! The chances for a miscarriage are much lower. Are you excited to see your baby today?” Doctor Towers asked as she set up the ultrasound machine.

“I am so excited. Still scared though.” Aelin blew out a breath and smoothed a hand over her small bump.

Dr. Towers glanced up beneath long lashes at Rowan before getting settled in her chair. “And are you the father?”

Rowan nodded and looked at Aelin. “Yes I am. And I am also very excited to see our baby today.” He took Aelin’s hand and smiled. Gods he was so handsome.

Dr. Towers nodded and put on her gloves. “Okay, let's get started then. If you could pull your shirt up a bit and unbutton your pants for me, Ms. Galythinius. Yes, that’s good, thank you. Now this is going to be cold.”

She squirted the ultrasound gel onto her stomach and Aelin flinched a litte. “Shit you weren’t kidding.”

Rowan chuckled and the doctor smiled. She put the wand against Aelin’s abdomen and Aelin squeezed her eyes shut as the doctor began moving it around to find the baby. She heard an intake of breath beside her and opened her eyes to find Rowan leaning down next to her. She saw tears begin forming in his eyes.

“Look, Aelin,” he breathed, his eyes not leaving the screen. “It’s our baby.”

Aelin tore her eyes away from him to look at the screen. She was too scared to look at first. She still felt like this was all some dream she would wake up from soon. But there on the screen was the small bean in gray and white. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling as she took in the tiny figure.

She pressed her shaking fingers against her lips and let out a little, “Oh. There it is.”

Rowan gently took her hand in his and squeezed. She could feel his own shaking like hers. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Dr. Tower’s froze the screen. “Your baby is looking very healthy. It looks like it’s right on track and there’s nothing to worry about. Just keep doing what you’re doing, okay? Would you like a picture to take home with you?” Aelin nodded so fast she thought she would give herself whiplash. “Can we have a few, please?” she whispered, her eyes still not leaving the screen.

The doctor smiled and nodded. “I can do that. I’d like to schedule you for a 16 week check up if that’s alright with you. Since this is a higher risk pregnancy I’d like to have you in for check ups more often than I usually would. I’ll meet you at the front with your pictures.”

Dr. Towers stood and handed Aelin a wipe for her stomach and left them to have a moment to themselves.

Aelin felt a sob work itself out of her throat and Rowan leaned his forehead against hers. She let herself lean into it, let herself breathe in his pine and snow scent to steady herself.

After a moment she looked up at Rowan’s face. She could see the tears and happy smile that lit up his face. “Our baby. I can’t fucking believe it,” she said, taking another shuddering breath.

“Our baby,” Rowan echoed.

Aelin laced her fingers with Rowan’s and smiled at him with no restraint. The pure happiness on his face was mirrored on hers and together they looked at the tiny bean that was their small joy.

-----

Hours later and Aelin found herself standing at Dorian’s apartment door. She was fiddling with the zipper of her jacket in anticipation of what was to come. Rowan slid a hand to her lower back and Aelin glanced up at him, grateful for the comfort.

Underneath she wore a red empire waisted dress. It stopped just above her knees and she wore a simple pair of flats. Her hair was half up and half down and it fell in loose waves. Rowan had let out a whistle of appreciation when he had picked her up at her apartment and she tried to hide her blush.

He wasn’t looking too shabby either in his dark green button down shirt and tight pants. Although he could be wearing a trash bag and still be hot as hell. She told him as much and that earned her a blush of his own.

Aelin took a steading breath and nodded before she knocked on the door. She felt Rowan’s hand fall from her back and she found herself missing the contact. But she straightened her spine and stood tall, trying for that old swagger that was slowly coming back to her.

The door swung open and Dorian’s wide grin met them. He faltered slightly when he took Rowan in beside her but recovered. “Aelin! Welcome! This must be your friend.” Dorian shook Rowan’s hand as he continued, “I’ll admit, though, that when Aelin asked if she could bring a friend I assumed it would be a woman.”

Aelin rolled her eyes as she nudged her way into the apartment. “Of course you did. Not getting laid enough these days, Dorian?”

Dorian let out a howl of laughter and shut the door behind them. “Everyone, Aelin’s here!”

They took off their coats and walked out of the entryway hall and into the living room. Seated on the loveseat were Aedion and Lysandra, smiles on both their faces as the latter waved at Aelin and Rowan. On the couch was Chaol and a beautiful woman with golden skin and thick, curly hair pulled up in a bun.

Aelin stopped dead in her tracks as she made eye contact with the woman. Recognition lit up her eyes as she noticed the two of them and Aelin’s eyes fell to Chaol and her hands intertwined. Shit shit shit.

Her doctor was Chaol’s new girlfriend.

Her hesitation went unnoticed by Dorian as he made introductions. “Aelin, this is Yrene. Yrene, this is Aelin. I’m really hoping Chaol told you about them having dated or this is about to be real awkward.”

Dr. Towers, or Yrene, tried to hide her amused smile. Aelin couldn’t help but let out a rasp of a laugh. She felt Rowan’s steading presence behind her and took a step forward so she didn’t lean into him.

“We’ve met actually. She’s my new OBGYN.”

Chaol’s eyes widened in surprise as he looked between his girlfriend and his ex.

Yrene nodded in confirmation. “It seems this was always going to be a little awkward at first, huh?” Amusement lit her eyes as she looked at Chaol and back at Aelin.

Oh, Aelin liked this woman.

Chaol turned his eyes to Rowan. He looked like he was about to say something when Dorian interrupted. “And this is… I actually never got your name,” he said, gesturing to Rowan.

Rowan stepped up to Aelin’s side and extended his hand to Dorian and then Chaol. “I’m Rowan. I’m Aelin’s friend.”

She could see how the three others looked at Rowan with questions on the tip of their tongues. Aelin hadn’t come around in seven months and all of a sudden she brought a guy friend with her. She would be curious too.

“An accent,” Dorian said, waggling his eyebrows. “What is that, Scottish?”

“Irish, actually,” Rowan answered. He didn’t supply any more information and silence fell.

“What’s up, man,” Aedion said, breaking the awkward tension. He stood and pulled Rowan into a half hug and clapped him on the back. They said their greetings and Lysandra came up and said hi, smiling and batting her eyelashes at him. Aedion grumbled and Aelin laughed.

“There’s beer in the fridge if you want one,” Aedion said to Rowan, walking into Dorian’s kitchen and helping himself. Rowan gave Aelin a look and shrugged before he followed suit. Aelin tried to hide her smile and failed.

Dorian stood for another second before he seated himself next to Chaol on the couch. Lysandra sat in her spot again and Aelin took a seat on the floor in front of the coffee table.

“I can go grab a chair for you, A,” Dorian said quickly, starting to get up. “I didn’t know if you were going to be able to make it so I didn’t grab it earlier, but-”

Aelin shook her head and he stopped. “I’m okay here.”

Dorian looked unsure but sat down again.

Chaol was the one to speak next. “So, what have you been up to, Aelin? We haven’t seen you since…” he trailed off, looking like he was unsure if he should continue.

Aelin rolled her eyes. “Since shortly after we broke up. You can say it, Choal. And before either of you two try asking,” she said with a pointed look at Dorian and Chaol, “no, I wasn’t a mess last time you saw me because I was hung up on Chaol.”

Dorian leaned forward at that. “Then what was it? Like, shit, A. You two break up and then we see you a month after it and you’re drunk off your ass and tell us all to stop asking you what was wrong. What else were we supposed to think?”

Rowan and Aedion had walked back in as Dorian started talking and they took their respective seats, Rowan sitting down next to Aelin.

Aelin took a deep breath, preparing herself for the conversation she had been dreading. She hated being open and vulnerable.

She felt Rowan’s knee brush against hers as he readjusted himself. She knew it was intentional. To remind her that he was beside her.

“I was a mess at that party because I had just had a doctor’s appointment where I was told I would never be able to get pregnant.”

She watched as Dorian and Chaol’s faces fell. Chaol opened his mouth to say something but Aelin held up a hand.

“Clearly, I didn’t handle the news well. But I should have been honest with you guys instead of pushing all of you away. I realized that and I’m really sorry for doing that.”

Both of them shook their heads. “Aelin,” Dorian said. “You don’t need to apologize. Yes, I think both Chaol and I both would have appreciated it, but you don’t owe us anything. But I wish we could have been there for you.”

Aelin nodded, looking down at the table where her hands were crossed. She pulled them off the table and into her lap as they started shaking. “There’s more. Another reason I realized I didn't hide from you guys anymore, no matter how awkward it would be to have to explain everything.”

She looked up and held her chin high as she pulled the ultrasound picture out of her pocket. She saw Lysandra sit up abruptly out of the corner of her eye and could hear her intake of breath. She hadn’t told them she was getting her first scan today.

Aelin watched as Chaol and Dorian sat forward to get a better look at the picture. Their jaws went slack when they realized what it was. Their eyes shot up to Aelin’s.

“I’m twelve weeks pregnant today,” she said.

“Shit, A,” Dorian breathed. His face broke out in a huge grin. “That’s amazing!” He hesitated. “It is amazing, right? You’re happy?”

This time Aelin didn’t try to hide her smile as her eyes fell back onto the photo. “Yes,” she breathed. “I’m very happy.”

“I’m so angry you didn’t tell me you got your scan today,” Lysandra said, picking up the ultrasound picture. “But I’m so happy for you, Aelin. Does this mean I can finally start buying baby things?”

Aelin laughed and shook her head. “Soon. Not quite yet.”

Lysandra huffed in annoyance but the smile didn’t leave her face as she handed it to Aedion. She saw the tears well up in his eyes but he didn’t say anything as he handed it back. She knew that would come when they had a moment alone. Neither of them were fans of crying in public.

“I have to ask,” Dorian finally said, his eyes darting to Rowan and back to Aelin. “But who’s the father?”

“Why is that important?” Aelin asked. She knew this question was going to come but gods, she really didn’t want to explain how it had happened to them.

“Because you just told us that you lost your shit after you found out you couldn’t get pregnant, then tell us that by some miracle you are, and you brought your ‘friend’,” Dorian used air quotes for the word friend, “to my party. One can only assume.”

Aelin opened her mouth, trying to think of an excuse to deny it, when Lysandra chimed in. “No, don’t you dare, Aelin. I know you’re going to try and come up with some lame excuse so you can save yourself the embarrassment, so let me do it for you.” She turned to everyone else. “Aelin needed to get laid so I took her to a club where she fucked Rowan in the bathroom.”

Rowan choked on his beer and flushed while Aelin cried in outrage, “Lysandra!”

She threw her hands up. “What?” she said. “It’s true and I don’t want any more secrets.”

Rowan chuckled. “She’s not wrong.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to agree with her,” Aelin said in exasperation, swatting his muscled arm. Rowan chuckled again and grabbed her hands in his to get her to stop hitting.

Chaol spoke this time. “So you two are just friends?”

She could see the questions in his eyes. That he could see that answer for the lie it was. Before she might have interpreted it as him being jealous. But she could see how relaxed he seemed around Yrene, their hands still intertwined. She could see now that they had both moved forward and were maybe at the point where they could try to be friends again.

“For now, yes,” Rowan answered for her. Aelin’s head whipped in his direction.

Choal looked at Rowan for a beat before he nodded. He smiled. “I’m happy for you guys. This is really great, Aelin.”

Aelin looked back at Rowan and smiled, her hand smoothing over her stomach for the thousandth time that day. “Yes, it really is.”

-----

Rowan walked Aelin back to her apartment door. They got to her door and Aelin unlocked it but made no move to open it. She wasn’t quite ready to say goodnight yet.

“What did you mean when you said that we’re just friends ‘for now’?” she asked.

Rowan smiled slightly, lifting a hand to tuck some hair behind her ear. His fingers grazed against her cheek and her eyes fluttered at the small touch.

“I meant,” he rumbled, “that I know we agreed to get to know each other and take things slow for the sake of our baby. But I also had every intention of asking you out on a date tonight.”

Aelin didn’t think she was breathing. “And now?”

“And now,” he said, stepping closer so they were sharing breath, “ that I still have every intention of doing just that. So, would you want to go out on a date with me tomorrow night?”

Aelin had to tilt her head up to look him in the eye. She could see the mischief dancing there. But she could also see the hope there.

Aelin smiled at him. “I’d love to.”

Rowan’s eyes dropped to her lips and she tracked the movement. She saw a slight blush grace his cheeks and he swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing. She tracked that movement too.

So she leaned up on her toes and let her lips graze his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, Buzzard.”

Rowan let out a breathy chuckle that had Aelin involuntarily leaning into his warmth. She felt his hand gently grasp her hip and she pulled back. She flashed him another dazzling smile and winked at him before she opened the door and stepped inside, shutting the door in his face.

#tog #throne of glass #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #rowan x aelin #rowaelin #rowaelin au #my writing #my small joy #fanficion #fanfic #pregnancy au

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snarkysarcasm · 5 years ago

Note

Hi. Golly Prompt: Holly gets stuck in a Groundhog Day loop.

Sorry this took so long, Weedy, but here you go:

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly hit the button on her alarm clock and enjoyed the slight burn as she stretched her muscles. Five o’clock in the morning was an unnecessary time to be awake. It wasn’t that she was a morning person per say but she enjoyed running and the only way to guarantee a run with her crazy schedule was if she got up early enough to do it.

Glancing at her phone she saw a text from her favorite snarky cop.

“Wookiees are less hairy than this guy. And probably smell better. I don’t know what the Superintendent was thinking. If this is the best I can get I should give up men entirely.”

Of course, Gail was complaining about another one of her mother’s set-ups. Holly hated the pleasant way her stomach flipped at the thought of Gail giving up on men. She knew that she was being ridiculous. That she shouldn’t be happy that her friend’s date had turned out to be a fiasco. Gail was straight and it was just a hopeless crush. And she did want Gail to be happy. She did. If going on Elaine-approved dates was the way to it then she would support Gail no matter.

Meanwhile, she’d keep pining away. And running. The running helped.

She had just gotten out of the shower when she saw a new message on her phone. She hated the sinking feeling when the disappointment crashed down that it was only Lisa (who would kill her for thinking such a thing). It really was becoming a hapless crush.

The text was a reminder of the date that Lisa had set up for her that night. See, she wasn’t a completely hopeless lesbian. Just because she was falling hard for Gail didn’t mean she had completely written off her own chances at finding someone else. She pushed away the memory of Lisa coercing her into said date at their last “Whine and Cheese” night.

Still she made a mental note to leave work early enough to give her a chance to wash the smell of the lab off of her.

Heading into work, there was still some snow on the ground so her commute took a little longer than usual. As luck would have it, she walked in to find the object of her affection waiting for her with a coffee.

“Did you lose your phone, Lunchbox?”

Holly felt her pocket. Her phone was there.

Gail followed her motions and arched one of her perfect eyebrows, “You didn’t answer my texts.”

“Oh, sorry, guess I got distracted this morning.”

“Were you exercising?”

The look of disdain was adorable and Holly couldn’t stop herself from chuckling. “You know I do every morning.”

‘Gross.” Gail’s face had Holly’s head shaking with affection. The blonde officer hopped onto Holly’s desk as the pathologist sank into her chair, coffee in hand.

“You know there are better ways to burn calories.”

“So I’ve heard.” Holly muttered into the cup, mostly to herself. A little bit louder than intended for the universe to take note.

“How long has it been, anyway?”

She groaned, “You really should bring me more than coffee if you want to have this conversation at this time in the morning.”

“It’s just a question.”

For Holly, it hardly felt as innocent as Gail made it sound. The last time Gail was “just asking questions” had been at Frank and Noelle’s wedding. As much as Holly may want to, kissing Gail at work in order to shut her up probably wasn’t the best idea. Maybe? No, probably not.

“Was there something else you wanted to talk about that brought you to the groundhog’s lair?”

Gail let out a suffering sigh as she collapsed onto one of the stools and started spinning, “Superintendent Peck has yet another date set up for me. I think as a medical professional you should explain to her the definition of insanity.”

“How is it insanity?”

“You sure you’re a doctor? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

“You do know that Albert Einstein didn’t actually say that? In fact, the first evidence of even a similar quote appeared in a Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet circa 1981. Although, in 1892 Max Nordou-”

“Will you save me from both the history lesson and my mother’s fruitless endeavors?”

Holly really wanted to push Gail to find out why she continued to go on these “dates” if she didn’t think they’d actually amount to anything. She also really wanted to ask her why she didn’t think they would. But the mention of the night reminded her of her own date.

“I can’t.”

“Why not? Didn’t you promise to do no harm?”

Holly contemplated telling Gail about her date that night. About how she had been set up herself. She also wanted to tell Gail about why she had been avoiding dating. But she couldn’t seem to get the words out.

Luckily she was saved from answering when the radio on Gail’s shoulder crackled to life. She listened for a minute before hopping off of Holly’s desk and grabbing her coffee.

“Criminals need to learn to sleep in.”

“I thought crime never sleeps.”

Gail rolled her eyes at the quip but Holly could still see her smile. “Smell ya later, Nerd.”

Holly let out a deep exhale. She hated to see Gail go, but damn she really loved to watch her walk away.

Unfortunately the sound of glass breaking and Rodney shouting a “Sorry, Doc” forced her from her ogling and back to her job. It was going to be a long day.

—

Rushing into the bar, Holly hated how flustered she felt. Trying to salvage the samples during the day had taken longer than she would’ve liked and she had barely had time to change her clothes let alone figure out a place to go. It was how she ended up at the Penny.

Glancing around she didn’t see anyone matching the description of her date for the night. She headed towards the bar. She needed a little liquid courage to steady her nerves.

“Hellooo.”

She wanted to blame it on the shock, but Holly knew that it was just the sight of Gail that had her heart quickening. She tried to fight it but could feel the smile overtake her.

Gail looked at the bartender, “Can you make it two?”

“Hey. I didn’t know you’d be here.” She had chosen the Penny because it was close and she was late. She also thought Gail would’ve been on a Superintendent approved date, not hanging out at the well-known cop bar. That or it was because she was a masochist.

“Yeah, Dov is on a new trivia kick and he’s not going to let us leave until he’s crowned king of the dorks.”

Holly knew that as much as she might protest, Gail really did like her friends. Or she was just really desperate to not go on that blind date. Holly tried not to get her hopes up though.

“Hey why don’t you let me get this one and you can get the next round.”

Gail was already gesturing to the bartender when Holly remembered why she was really there that night.

“Actually, umm I’m meeting someone.”

The reality of her situation had disappointment settling deep in her gut. She knew that she would rather be anywhere, doing anything with Gail than pretty much anyone else. But she also knew that it wasn’t healthy to keep pining the way she was.

“Oh. Sorry.”

It was dark but Holly was pretty sure Gail looked disappointed too. The soft way she apologized cut deeper than it should’ve. Holly probably should’ve just told Gail that morning and saved both of them the awkwardness they were in.

Holly couldn’t stop herself from reaching for Gail’s arm. “Don’t be sorry.”

Gail shrugged and took a sip from her drink, seemingly recovered from the set back, “Is it like someone or someone someone?”

Holly swallowed hard at the way pink lips played with the straw. “I don’t know yet.” She offered.

She vaguely heard the bell over the door, but when she glanced over she saw someone matching the picture Lisa had sent. “Oh.” That was her cue. “Thanks for the drink.”

“No worries.”

As hard as it was, Holly pulled herself away from Gail and plastered a smile on her face. Heading towards her date, Holly greeted the woman with a hug. Maybe it was a little overkill but she needed to get over Gail and this was the way to do it.

So she spent the night laughing a little too loud, she leaned a little too close into each touch, she bought a little too many drinks, and when her date offered to get out of there Holly followed her out a little too quickly. And she most definitely didn’t look back on her way out the door for a little too long.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly hit the button on her alarm clock. 5am, really was an ungodly hour, but she stretched her muscles anyway. She kind of hated herself. She had had the perfect opportunity to get laid the night before and instead had decided to go home alone. This crush on Gail was ridiculous. It had been a perfectly fine date. Beautiful. Smart. Funny. And yet when Holly had walked her to her front door and had gotten the offer for a nightcap. She balked. God, she was stupid.

Holly glanced at her phone and noticed a text from Gail.

“Wookiees are less hairy than this guy. And probably smell better. I don’t know what the Superintendent was thinking. If this is the best I can get I should give up men entirely.”

What the...Holly reached for her glasses and sat up. She could’ve sworn Gail had sent that message the previous morning. And hadn’t Holly seen her at the bar? Gail hadn’t gone on any dates. She glanced at the date on her phone.

February 2nd.

But that was yesterday. Assuming her phone was broken, she restarted it, and went for her run.

Holly had just gotten out of the shower when she went to check if her phone was fixed. She saw a new message on her phone. It was the same reminder of the date from Lisa. Either her phone was messing with her or she had had the most realistic dream the night before. She opened a browser on her phone, hoping for some clarity, but even Google said it was still Groundhog’s day.

Holly hit the call button.

“Hey sexy.”

“Hey Lis, what’s today’s date?”

“Did you finally fry that big brain of yours with all those nasty chemicals you play with?”

“Just answer my question.”

“It’s February 2nd. But more importantly it’s your date night.”

Holly’s stomach clenched painfully, “Right.”

“You didn’t forget or worse you didn’t get any ideas of cancelling did you?”

“No,” She ran a hand through her hair, “no I just had the weirdest dream last night.”

“Well as much as I’d love to hear about your sex dream about me I have to go, I have an early surgery I need to scrub into. I’ll text you the details for your date. Love you.”

Holly stared at her phone. It had to have been a dream. A realistic dream. Just a really realistic dream.

She was late heading into work, both from her checking the date a thousand times and from the snow making the commute long. But her car, the radio, and her phone continued to claim it was still February 2nd so Holly decided to accept it.

She stopped when she found Gail waiting for her with a coffee.

“Did you lose your phone, Lunchbox? You didn’t answer my texts.” The deja vu was making her head hurt.

“Uh, sorry, it was having some issues this morning.” Or she was. Just a ridiculously realistic dream, Holly reminded herself.

“Were you exercising?”

The look of disdain was just as adorable as she had imagined and Holly let out an awkward chuckle.

“Gross. You know there are better ways to burn calories.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“How long has it been?”

Okay, the similarities were too much to handle.

“Longer than it should’ve been” Holly wanted to kick herself when she realized that she had said the words out loud.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

Gail glanced at her phone let out a suffering sigh as she collapsed onto one of the stools and started spinning, Holly waited but she knew what was coming next.

“Superintendent Peck has yet another date set up for me. I think as a medical professional you should explain to her the definition of insanity.”

Holly played along, “How is it insanity?”

“You sure you’re a doctor? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Funny. Holly was pretty sure she was doing everything over again.

“You do know that Albert Einstein didn’t actually say that? In fact the first evidence of even a similar quote appeared in a Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet circa 1981. Although in 1892 Max Nordou-”

“Will you save me from both the history lesson and my mother’s fruitless endeavors?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not? Didn’t you promise to do no harm?”

Holly didn’t answer and waited for the radio on Gail’s shoulder to crackle to life. Sure enough, she listened for a minute before hopping off of Holly’s stool and grabbing her coffee.

“Criminals need to learn to sleep in.”

Holly nodded, she couldn’t do much else with the knots in her stomach. Deja vu or dream, it didn’t matter this was fucking weird.

The sound of glass breaking and Rodney shouting a “Sorry, Doc” forced her into action. It was already a long day and she wasn’t even done with breakfast yet.

—

Rushing into the bar, Holly was still late from trying to salvage the samples during the day. Glancing around she didn’t see anyone matching the description of her date for the night (or the person she had dreamt). She headed towards the bar.

“Hellooo.”

Holly jumped. She had been hoping that maybe only the first half of the day would’ve been like her dream but no here was Gail, exactly where Holly had imagined she’d be.

Gail looked at the bartender, “Can you make it two?”

“Hey. I didn’t know you’d be here.” Except she did know. Damn her dream had been spot on.

“Yeah, Dov is on a new trivia kick and he’s not going to let us leave until he’s crowned king of the dorks. Hey, why don’t you let me get this one and you can get the next round?”

“Actually, umm I’m meeting someone.”

The disappointment still settled deep in her gut, even knowing that the previous night had only been a dream.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“Is it like someone or someone someone.”

“I don’t know yet.”

She heard the bell over the door and when she glanced over she saw her date. “Thanks for the drink.”

“No worries.”

Holly went through the motions with a smile on her face. She greeted the woman with a hug, she spent the night laughing a little too loud, she leaned into all the touches, she bought drinks, and when her date offered to get out of there Holly followed her out. But when she glanced back on her way out. Gail was nowhere to be seen.

This time when Holly was offered a nightcap she decided to take the woman up on the offer. How many times did people get a do-over anyway?

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly hit the button on her alarm clock. It was 5am and she stretched her muscles. She kind of hated herself. The sex wasn’t great. It had been a long time and Holly figured she deserved to have a little fun. But when it was over she couldn’t bring herself to stay. She headed back to her own bed more than a little disappointed. She had hoped that sleep would’ve been enough to make her feel better.

Holly glanced at her phone and noticed a text from Gail. Her stomach sank further. Gail. Holly was pretty sure that the blonde copper was a huge reason that she couldn’t enjoy the night before the way she should’ve. She hadn’t been able to get Gail out of her head and it hadn’t been fair to her date. Ugh. She opened the message.

“Wookiees are less hairy than this guy. And probably smell better. I don’t know what the Superintendent was thinking. If this is the best I can get I should give up men entirely.”

Okay, what the fuck? Her dreams could be vivid but this was too weird. Checking the date on her phone, it was definitely still February 2nd. Holly shook her head. A dream within a dream. What were the odds? She scrolled through her phone. There were no messages from Lisa telling her about her date or asking how it went. There was no messages from the woman in question. Nothing else from work or anyone else. No, really, what the actual fuck?

Holly was a little desperate as she looked for anything that said that she was wrong about the date. She even went to the nearest coffee stand to check the morning paper but nope it was still February 2nd. Realizing that she had wasted her morning, Holly went about the motions of heading into work. She purposefully ignored the text message she saw come in from Lisa.

Seeing Gail standing there with coffee made her heart race in a different way than usual.

“Did you-”

“What’s today’s date?”

“I was about to ask if you lost your phone before I was so rudely interrupted but I guess that answers my question.”

“Don’t mess with me, what day is it?”

“It’s February 2nd, Lunchbox. You know, that day of the year that a bunch of losers gather around to get excited about a large squirrel predicting the weather. Really it’s pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype.”

“Yesterday was February 2nd.”

“No, yesterday was February 1st and one of the worst dates to have ever happened. Seriously my mother set a new terrible standard.”

“No, it was February 2nd and I had a date.”

“You told me you had to work late last night. Remember the double homicide in the park on Breadalbane? Seriously how late did you work that you don’t even know what day it is.”

“No that was the day before. Last night I ran into you at the Penny. You were playing trivia with Dov.”

“How’d you know that the king of the dorks was on a trivia kick? I mean he’s there every night but I wasn’t with them last night.”

“But…”

Gail’s radio crackled to life. She listened for a minute. “I have to go but you should really drink that coffee.”

Holly watched her go. She wasn’t sure what was going on. But whatever it was, was fucking nuts. Or she was.

The sound of glass breaking caused her to jump.

“Sorry, Doc”. This day couldn’t get longer if it tried.

---

Holly took her time heading to the bar. She was still distracted trying to figure out how she had managed to experience the same day three times in a row. Once she could blame on her dreams. Twice maybe deja vu. But the entire day had played out exactly as before. Including Lisa setting her up on this date and her having to spend the day cleaning up the broken samples. She was so distracted by her thoughts that she was genuinely surprised when she heard the ….

“Hellooo.”

She couldn’t stop the shock to her system. Maybe it was just being on edge. Or maybe and more likely it was that Holly couldn’t help her body’s reaction to Gail’s proximity.

Gail looked at the bartender, “Can you make it two?”

“Hey.”

“Couldn’t resist trivia night?”

The awkwardness somehow never dissipated no matter how many times she went through having to tell the woman that she wanted to date that she was actually going on a date with someone else. “Actually, umm I’m meeting someone.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“Is it like someone or someone someone.”

Holly huffed, “I don’t know yet.”

She didn’t even have to look over when she heard the bell. “Thanks for the drink.”

“No worries.”

Maybe third time was the charm and she just didn’t know it. So Holly tried again. She laughed at the same jokes. She leaned into all the touches. She walked her date to her apartment. And knowing exactly what the woman liked, Holly tried to distract herself with mindless sex.

But her brain never turned off and her body definitely wasn’t turned on. She didn’t even bother trying for a real orgasm before she headed home and hoped that this time when she woke, she wouldn’t remember the night.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

The second her alarm went off, Holly checked her phone. February 2nd. And the same damn text from Gail.

Fuck!

She was definitely reliving the same day. But why? How? This was the kind of thing that happened in movies, not real life. It wasn’t possible to get stuck in a time loop. Well, maybe it was possible. Physics certainly hadn’t disproved it. So maybe it was possible. But if she was stuck in time and getting to the live the day again and again, maybe she should try to enjoy it.

Afterall, she had always wanted a motorcycle.

---

After spending most of the day indulging things she had always wanted. It was time for her date. Even if she was reliving the same day, she didn’t want to deal with Lisa’s wrath. But this time Holly decided to skip the Penny this time. She didn’t want to run into Gail and deal with the disappointment that always seem to come with having to turn down her drink offer. It was such a simple thing but if she kept having to do this day over she must be doing something wrong. Maybe she just wasn’t giving her date enough of a chance to work out.

And the night had gone well. Holly had picked her up and taken her to a fancy dinner across town. She enjoyed riding around the city, even if she secretly wanted someone else with their arms wrapped around her.

But that wasn’t the point of tonight.

She finally pulled up in front of her building.

“Lisa didn’t mention that you rode a motorcycle.”

“Oh, yeah, well I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try new things.”

“Yeah? What other things have you been willing to try?”

It was easy to be confident when you had already had a couple of trial runs.

“How about we go in and I can show you rather than tell you.”

“Lead the way.”

She was halfway to her door when she saw a figure sitting outside her door.

“Gail?”

Holly’s heart was pounding her chest as she watched the blonde scramble to her feet. Even in the dark she could see a slight blush filling pale skin.

“Oh, uh, sorry, I uhh shouldn’t have come.”

“Wait!”

“No, you’re clearly busy, I shouldn’t have just dropped by.”

Holly thought she heard Gail mumble something about being stupid.

“It’s fine. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“No. Uh. Everything’s fine. Just bored and figured you’d be home. But clearly you weren’t and had better things to do so I’m going to let you get back to them.”

She didn’t know what to say but she couldn’t stop from staring even as Gail booked it out of sight. She had almost forgotten she had company until she heard a frustrated sigh beside her.

“So I guess this was the complication Lisa had warned me about.”

“It’s not like -”

“Goodnight Holly.”

With the damage done and Holly having two women walk out on her, she decided to call the day a wash. If she ever needed a do-over, well, this was it.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly was relieved to wake and see it was still the 2nd. She was a scientist and if there was anything a scientist was good at it was testing a hypothesis.

She spent the better half of the day coming up with her plan. She even called out of work to avoid anything distracting her. And when the time came, she headed over to the Penny with one thing on her mind.

She spotted the table right away and instead of heading to the bar, Holly strode across the room with a different purpose.

‘Hey I didn’t expect to see you…”

Holly cut off Gail’s greeting with her lips. For a moment she felt it. Felt Gail’s lips move against her, press just a little bit harder, but the feeling was brief before she was pulling away.

“Wh-what are you doing, Holly?”

Holly didn’t expect the look of shock and fear on Gail’s face. She watched Gail’s eyes dart around everywhere but to make contact with hers. What had she been thinking? Well she knew what she had been thinking. She had thought that in all the days prior Gail might have been jealous. That she might have been disappointed. That maybe her feelings were for more than just friendship. But clearly it had just been wishful thinking.

“Ummm….uhhh….I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I should go.”

And she ran. Ran right out of the bar. Ran right home and into her bed. If kissing Gail and finally acting on her feelings wasn’t enough to get her out of this time loop, nothing else would be. She was trapped and worse, she finally knew that her stupid crush was just that. And damn was it crushing.

So much so that she felt like she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs. Panic. She was actually panicking. As her heart thudded hard in her chest, everything felt tight and small. She struggled to take deeper breaths, knowing that there wasn’t much she could do but wait for the feeling of seemingly never-ending-doom to pass.

It took a while but finally the vice grip on her chest loosened. As her breathing calmed, Holly wiped the sweat and tears from her face. She hadn’t had a panic attack since medical school. And she really hoped if she had to live this day again she wouldn’t have to experience that part of it.

She was still struggling with pins and needles crawling against her skin when there was a knock on her door. She tried to ignore it at first but then it got more persistent. She did her best to compose herself before opening the door a crack.

“Gail?” She opened it more, “What are you doing here?”

Gail didn’t say a word as she crossed the threshold of Holly’s home and crashed right into her. This time the shock to her system was even more than the panic that had rocked her before when she finally registered that Gail was kissing her. But unlike at the bar, Holly seized the moment, pulling the blonde against her and kissing her back with everything she had to offer.

The first brush of her tongue into Gail’s mouth had the blonde moaning and Holly could feel herself already getting wet at the sound. She let herself get pushed against a wall. Her head thudded hard and for a second she saw stars, but she was more than happy to let Gail have what she wanted. But it did remind her that things were moving and moving fast if the way Gail’s hands under her shirt (when had they gotten there?) were any indication.

“Wait,” Holly barely got the word out before Gail’s hungry mouth was on hers again. She was starting to cave again.

“Wait.” She panted again, this time she pushed Gail slightly back by the shoulders. The smouldering look in the blue eyes staring at her lips was almost too much. But Holly had to be strong.

“What’s going on, Gail? Why did you come here?”

“To finish what you started.”

Holly felt Gail start to lean in again, but she held firm.

“But you stopped us.”

Finally Gail pulled back, a frustrated sigh leaving swollen lips and the warm hands that had been against her were now running through blonde hair. The cool rush against her skin had Holly questioning her sanity for stopping them in the first place.

“We were in a bar surrounded by everyone I work with. And you surprised me. I didn’t-i didn’t know what to do. But after you left I couldn’t think about anything else but you kissing you again.”

Holly didn’t need to hear much else. She took two tight fistfuls of Gail’s shirt and pulled hard. Gail crashed into her with little resistance, her lips were just as soft as Holly had always imagined but the kisses were anything but soft. It didn’t take long before she felt Gail’s hands against her skin again. They tightened against her sides and the way they burned was driving her insane, she reversed their positions.

As she pressed a thigh between Gail’s legs, Gail finally broke and let out a gasp allowing Holly to move her attention to the pale neck that was stretched against the wall. Her mouth made its way down, nipping and sucking against the previously unblemished skin. She was probably leaving marks but she was too invested in what she was doing to care. And from the sounds Gail was making and the feeling of her hand in Holly’s hair, she figured the blonde didn’t care either.

She started to pull at the hem of Gail’s shirt, “Is this -”

Suddenly the shirt was being tossed across the room and her own shirt was being pulled over her head.

Gail looked at her seriously, “Don’t stop.”

The command sent a thrill down her spine and Holly didn’t waste any more time. They were both clumsy as Holly tried to maneuver them to her bedroom without them tripping over one another. It seemed that neither one wanted their lips to part for more than a few seconds.

After what felt like an eternity, Holly finally tumbled onto the bed pulling Gail with her. But being on the bottom wouldn’t do. At least not at first. Holly had wanted and waited for too long. She needed to have Gail all to herself. To feel her shaking under her mouth and hands. All her years of sporting can in handy as she easily flipped their positions. Gail looked surprised at first but as Holly reached for the button of her jeans, her attention shifted towards trying to shed the skinny pants as quickly as possible.

“Yours too.”

Holly hated to separate herself but was also more than happy to have as much skin as possible to press against the porcelain body in her bed. It all felt like a dream. Something that was too good to be true.

“I thought I told you not to stop,” Gail’s voice was a low growl, it held no real chastisement but a hunger for more.

“Who’s stopping?”

Holly pressed her whole body against Gail’s, their mouths meeting in an almost lazy kiss, like they had all the time in the world. Maybe they did. If Holly had learned anything from the last few days, it was that time was a relative concept.

“I want to taste you.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Gail asked, her legs spreading wider, inviting Holly in.

She wasn’t waiting. Not anymore. Holly made her way down. Taking her time to truly worship what she had been given. A gift that she wasn’t sure she’d ever have. But Gail seemed to have other plans, pushing Holly lower, faster. She wanted her too and she wanted her now it seemed.

Who was Holly to deny Gail anything? She parted pink lips and took a second to enjoy the sight of Gail wet and swollen and waiting for her before she dipped her tongue in. The slight tangy against her taste buds was everything and she savored it before she went to work. She dipped her tongue in deeper to warmth before sliding up to Gail’s clit. She started with a wide circle, heading back down to press into her before moving up again and again. Each time, the circle getting tighter.

She could feel Gail moving against her mouth, her hips rising and pushing against Holly harder and harder every time her tongue moved to her entrance. She could feel Gail getting more and more wound up.

“Hooooollllllly” Gail whined.

As much fun as she was having, she also wanted to make Gail cum. She wanted her to cum hard.

So she moved her hand up to take over, circling her clit again and again and her tongue pumped into Gail, deeper and deeper.

“Fuck, jesus fuck, yes, Holly,” Each of Gail’s cries, made Holly want to keep going, her tongue and fingers speeding up until finally Gail was tightening against her hand and her cries went silent as her orgasm overtook her.

Holly brought her down slower, she wanted to push for more but there would be time and she didn’t want to overwhelm the blonde. Gail was already whimpering and she felt Gail’s hands weakly pulling her back up.

“Hey.” Gail’s voice was almost shy.

Holly pressed a gentle kiss to a flushed cheek. “Hey.” She settled herself more comfortably.

“Hey.”

“You said that already”

“You know, it sounded familiar.” Gail’s voice was quiet and the words came out slowly.

Holly laughed as her hands traced lightly along Gail’s muscles. She could feel her own eyes getting heavier too.

She felt Gail’s hand sliding lower on her waist. As much as she wanted to be touched, she just wanted this too. Wanted to hold Gail and fall asleep with her beside her. So she caught her hand and pulled her closer. “Later.” And Holly drifted off into a peaceful sleep with the woman she wanted wrapped in her arms. Maybe living in a time loop wasn’t the worst thing. It had given her enough chances to finally do something right.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

When her alarm went off, Holly was painfully aware of how empty her bed was. She grabbed her phone. February 2nd.

“God fucking damn it!”

She threw her phone across the room. Tears were already blurring her vision as she pressed them hard with the heels of her hands. How? How could she have everything she wanted and the day still not change? Why would the universe show her what she could have and take it away like that? What was she doing wrong?

---

Rushing into the police department, Holly wasn’t sure if she was making an even bigger mistake but she had to try. Well even if she was wrong, she’d probably have to do this all over again tomorrow anyway. She was glancing around the busy hallways, when she heard the voice she was looking for behind her.

“Holly, hey, what are you doing here?”

Oh right, Gail had no idea why Holly would be desperately seeking her out before they’d even had their morning coffees.

“I had to drop off a report on a murder from a few weeks ago.”

“Doesn’t the courier usually bring that stuff over.”

“Ummm, yeah, he was sick...or something.” Holly mumbled. She could barely look at Gail but it was clear that the blonde didn’t believe her.

“Hey, come here.” Holly pulled Gail into the nearest room.

“What’s going on?”

“Listen, I know that this is going to sound crazy but I have to tell you this. Because we tell each stuff. And that’s what’s so great about us. But I keep reliving today. This day. February 2nd. I know what’s going to happen tonight, this afternoon, I know what’s going to happen in the next hour, because I’ve already been here and done it. I know that I’m going to meet a great woman on a stupid set-up tonight and that even when everything goes perfectly that I’m still going to be thinking about you and wishing it was you with me instead. Because no matter what happens she isn’t you. I don’t know why it keeps happening and why I can’t move on. But the one thing that I do know is that I’d live this day a thousand times because the only thing that matters is that I get to spend it with you. Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I’m happy as long as I’m with you.” Holly’s words were tumbling out faster and faster but she had to say them, even as Gail just looked at her intently. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you all this, it’s too much, I just -”

Holly was finally cut off by Gail’s lips in a kiss that melted her in a way that none of the previous encounters had.

Gail pulled back, still holding Holly’s face. “I’m sorry. You just, you just had to stop talking.”

“I won’t say another word.”

They stayed like that for a while. In their little bubble, with soft kisses and just enjoying the moment. When it was time for Gail to go back to work, she hovered by the door.

“I don;t know that I believe you’re stuck on a time loop but how about tonight, we both skip our set-ups and you take me to dinner instead.”

“Sound perfect.”

---

It was a perfect night. They talked and laughed and there were plenty of kisses. Gail decided to stay the night in borrowed pajamas curled up beside Holly. For once, Holly wasn’t filled with dread. Even if there was no tomorrow, she’d give anything to keep having days like today.

///

Then put your little hand in mine

There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe

I got you babe I got you babe

Holly hit the button on her alarm clock but didn’t open her eyes. Not yet.

“Who sets an alarm this early in the damn morning?” A grumpy voice beside her gumbled.

Her eyes flew open, Gail was still there in the clothes she had given her the night before. She grabbed her phone. No new messages. She looked at the date.

February 3rd.

“Sorry, you’re right. Go back to sleep. There’s no rush. We have all day.”

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baronessblixen · 5 years ago

Note

#1 from your prompt list. "We're not just friends and you fucking know it." Thank you. 🙂

I got the same prompt from @mulder-squatchin ! Also tagging @today-in-fic

Set in season 6, Mulder and Scully have to share a room and a bed.

One Night on the Road

"There's one room available."

"Just one?" Mulder repeats, staring at the elderly lady behind the reception desk. She stares back at him, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. Unless that's just what she looks like all the time.

"That's what I said," she draws out the words, probably thinking he's hard of hearing – or plain dumb. "You want it or not?"

"We'll take it." Scully strolls in, her hands empty, and dripping wet. An 'I told you so' burns on his tongue; she didn't want to believe him their overnight bags were unsalvageable. He turns back around so that Scully can't see his smile. No need to stoke the fire. She's been ready to throw him out of the car for hours and leave him in a ditch in the middle of nowhere. Now they're both stuck here. In one room.

"Do you have a roll-away cot?" Mulder dares a glance at Scully, her hair a mess, her eyes a hurricane, and prays that just this once they're in luck. He should have known better.

"Dearie, back in my time, we didn't need no cots. The floor is carpeted." And that's that.

The room, as well as the bed, is tiny. Even if he wanted to, Mulder isn't sure he'd even fit on the floor. Scully is quiet next to him, shivering. Fuck. They have no clothes except for what they're wearing. Which means…

"Scully?"

"Yes?"

"How do you feel about sleeping naked tonight?" Instead of an answer, she gives him a dirty look and leaves. Left alone, Mulder sighs. His clothes aren't as wet as Scully's. They're just greasy and smelly. He takes off his jacket and tosses it on the only chair in the room before he sits on the bed. It's going to be a long night.

Scully returns five minutes later, holding what looks like a tent. She's going to make him sleep outside, in the icy rain. Maybe that's what he deserves.

"This is all she had for us."

"What… what is it?"

"A pajama." One. That seems to be the motto here. One room, one bed, one pajama. One angry Scully. She is holding the pajama set close to her chest as if to say this is hers and she is not going to share. A tent he could have put up outside might have been the better solution.

"Well, I guess I'll-"

"We'll have to share," she says through gritted teeth. At least she hates it as much as he does.

"Which part do you want?" His joke goes unappreciated as she throws the pants at him and disappears into the bathroom. Mulder looks at the garment. It's huge. As he peels himself out of his clothes, he wonders how tall that man must have been. The waist is too big and the pants sit low – very low – on his hips. If he looks this ridiculous, then what is Scully going to look like? He doesn't have to wonder long. The bathroom door opens with a soft click and there she is. A vision in a potato sack.

"Don't say anything," she grumbles as she stomps over to the bed. Her nails are painted in deep forest green. Who would have thought? His eyes don't remain long on her feet. He can see her knees and the hint of a thigh. Her attire shouldn't be sexy at all; the old grey button-down-shirt would be unflattering on everyone. On Scully, though, it looks perfect. Not that she would believe him. It's best to do what she said and not say anything. "Bathroom is all yours," she says as she gets into bed, curling away from him. "Shower doesn't work," she adds as an afterthought.

"Thanks," he mumbles. There go his plans for a very cold shower. Mulder throws some water into his face and washes the rest of his body as well as he can in the tiny room. The soapy lemon scent is better than the day-old aftershave that clings to his body. He looks into the mirror and prepares himself for sleeping in the same bed as Scully. It could be worse. This is Scully, after all. She'll too smell like lemon, he realizes. Just like him, she'll be scantily dressed. They're a perfect set tonight. What could go wrong, really? His cock twitches.

Just about everything.

The lights are off when he leaves the bathroom. Thanks, Scully. He finds the bed anyway, or rather his toe does.

"Can you please be quiet?" Scully mumbles from somewhere.

"You could have left the lights on," he says, trying to sound jovial as he gets into bed. The mattress is hard, but at least he no longer is. Scully and her icy attitude have worked their magic.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Ever the doctor, his Scully.

"No."

"Too bad," she mumbles. Or at least he thinks she does. He bites his tongue and attempts to get comfortable. It's no use. "Are you finally done?" This time she says it loud and clear.

"I hate this," he says, tugging at the blanket that Scully is holding hostage. "Scully, would you share, please? I'm freezing." She huffs, but he is finally able to cover himself. Or at least one half of him. It will have to do. Turning around, Scully elbows him in the chest.

"Sorry," she says.

"Oh, are you?" He can make out her silhouette in the shadows; she's still leaning towards him. "Do you want me to sleep on the floor? Is that it? I know you can't stand to be around me, but hell, Scully, I'm just trying to sleep here."

"Don't be ridiculous, Mulder. We're adults. I know you'd prefer I was Diana instead, but-"

"Are you kidding me?" He turns around so quickly that he crashes into her flannel-clad upper body. There's the softest pressure of her breast against his skin, separated by one, fluffy layer. For a moment, he forgets what he's angry about.

"Mulder, I know you and her are… something."

"We're history." To him, they are. He can't speak for Diana. All he knows is that he doesn't want her back. Neither as his lover nor his partner. Why can't Scully see that?

"Whatever you are," she continues and he rolls his eyes, "you and I are friends and as such we can share the bed." This is it. He's had it. All day long, she's given him one-syllable answers, angry death glares and now this.

"We're not just friends," his voice rumbles, "and you fucking know it." He hears her sharp intake of breath and wishes he could see her. She's close. He can smell that damn lemon soap. On her it smells delicious. A few inches, if at all, and there she'd be. Her lips. Her mouth. He pictures it half-open, ready to rebuke him. Ready to be kissed.

When she does speak after long seconds, it's not what he expected.

"What are we then, Mulder?"

And he finds he has no answer.

#the drabble prompts are done #hope you guys like it #msr #xf fanfic #my writing #my fic

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this-is-a-love-story-fleabag · 5 years ago

Text

Fork you, then (9/10)

Fleabag saves her friend Boo’s life and earns a spot in the Good Place, but is everything here really so perfect? And what’s up with the hot priest next door? 2282 words. Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Also on ao3.

I spend longer than I'm proud of in front of the mirror making sure that my outfit says "I'm totally fine with whatever happens next because I am a chic, independent woman who is capable of dealing with rejection and not at all liable to start ugly crying." Only a red sundress can say this.

I head over to rap on his front door and what greets me as he opens the door takes my breath away - he's wearing his usual neatly pressed (delightfully form-fitting) black trousers, and shiny black shoes - but his top half is clad in a loose, open-necked shirt.

"You're not wearing your special priesty collar thing," I say in lieu of a greeting.

"Hello," he responds. "No, I'm not." He looks relaxed. Oh god, maybe he's winning at inner peace. Bastard.

I'm pretty sure I am nailing inner peace. I am a meditation machine, I've been eating salad like a motherfucker, and I have entirely sworn off casual sex, although that hasn't really had to be a conscious choice given that nobody in this godforsaken paradise will fuck me. It's fine. I don't do that any more.

I did have a little snog with my priest last night, but then we had to run and corral a fucking unicorn, which ruined the mood a bit, and we haven't really talked about it. I got to ride on the unicorn's back all the way home, which was cool right up until it bit me. It turns out, I hate unicorns.

We agreed to meet for brunch today after we'd managed to wrangle that horrid creature back into Eleanor's stable and then staggered back to our separate beds, bruised and grubby.

"You're not wearing your special priesty collar thing," I say in lieu of a greeting.

"Hello," he responds. "No, I'm not." He looks relaxed. Oh god, maybe he's winning at inner peace. Bastard.

"Come on in," he continues, ushering me through to his kitchen. The door to his bedroom is open and I can see that the sheets on the bed are mussed. I know for a fact that they weren't like that yesterday because I've been systematically sneaking all of the best sex toys out of his cupboards when he isn't looking.

He motions for me to sit down at the kitchen table, where there's a stack of waffles and bacon waiting, then sits down next to me and rests his hand on my knee.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask. "Did I solve all your hang-ups with my magic lips?"

"No," he laughs.

"Was it the unicorn? Did it poop on you?"

"You know it forking pooped on me, you were laughing your head off."

"Did the magical unicorn poop solve all your hang-ups?"

He makes a noise that is part-way between fond and exasperated. "Would you please take this seriously for a minute?"

"That's not really my strong suit."

He gives me a look.

"Fine, what?"

He takes my hand and looks me in the eyes. "I've just realised that for the first time since I've been here, I've finally started to feel hopeful again." His thumb traces over mine, warm skin brushing over warm skin. "I think that has... a lot to do with you."

I don't really know what to say so I shove half a waffle in my mouth.

"You've never really tried to follow half of the rules that I've spent so much time living by. You're so passionate and loving and uninhibited, and none of that has stopped you from being a good person." Wrong. "So maybe I don't need the rules or the collar, maybe I can let myself..."

I manage to swallow and cut him off before he can say anything else. "I am not a good person." Tears are pricking at the corners of my eyes and the guilt is gripping my heart like a vice.

The softness in his gaze is unbearable. "I know that you are."

"That is such bullshirt. You don't know what I've done."

"So tell me."

"I forked my best friend's boyfriend and then she tried to walk into forking traffic," I spit. "I lived my life all wrong."

He holds my hand tighter and doesn't drop his gaze. "Everybody makes mistakes."

"Oh, fork off."

"Thinking of yourself as a good person terrifies you, doesn't it?"

"It doesn't terrify me, I'm just not one."

"You're impressive," he says simply, with so much sincerity that for a second I almost believe him. He raises our joined hands to his lips and drops a kiss onto my fingers.

"Tell me about Boo," he says gently.

I sniff, a few tears having forced their way out of my eyes, and let out a breathless laugh. "I think she might have been my favourite person ever."

"How did she feel about that?"

"You can't just tell people how you feel, are you insane?"

He nods. "Right, good point, sorry." I laugh wetly. Sarcastic bastard.

"I should have told her."

"Who knows, maybe she'll end up here too. Maybe you can still tell her."

"Probably. She was always the best one out of the two of us. " I reflect for a second. "I keep meaning to ask if my mum's here. She died a while ago."

"Why haven't you?"

"I just..."

"What?"

"What if she doesn't want to see me?"

"She will," he says with certainty.

"I'm not ready to find out."

"I understand," he says, bumping me with his shoulder. "Now eat your waffles before they go soggy."

To my surprise, heaven is a terrible place to engage in a courtship.

After we finish breakfast, he cradles my face with his maple syrup-sticky fingers and kisses me fiercely, crowding me up against the cabinets. I push him backwards until he's lying on his back on the kitchen table and I'm looming over him on all fours, and he's just working his hands up the length of my thighs and rucking up the hem of my skirt when Michael knocks on the window.

"What?" snaps the priest, unusually irritated - which is quite a compliment, really.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to intrude," frets Michael, wringing his hands. "There's been an infestation of interdimensional termites and you need to evacuate the building right now before it collapses." On cue, with a creak, a ceiling beam comes crashing down, inches from my head.

One afternoon as we're camped out on my sofa arguing about Doctor Who, the pesky termites having been dealt with somehow, he pulls me onto his lap and we're just getting into a very promising make-out session when Tahani pounces, sweeping in through the door with a wicker basket. She pulls tall cake stands and the makings for an entire high tea out of the improbably small space, like Mary Poppins' handbag or possibly the TARDIS, then proceeds to ply us with scones, tiny sandwiches, and tedious conversation for the entire afternoon.

A few days afterwards, after a lot of discussion and negotiation, the priest is strapping my wrists into a set of padded leather cuffs and fastening me securely to the posts of his ridiculous bed. I'm half-naked already, my tits exposed through the open buttons of my shirt (his shirt, I stole it), my knickers are most of the way off, and he's got his teeth sunk into the side of my neck, when Jianyu opens the door and walks calmly into the room.

"What the fork?" I ask, trying to shoo him away with my mind. Jianyu just bows deeply and settles cross-legged in a corner, then begins to silently meditate while staring directly at us. Honestly, I would be fine with carrying on, but the priest gets a little self-conscious, so he just unshackles me quietly and we leave the room. Total clit-block.

When Chidi interrupts us, we aren't even doing anything sexy - we put together a nice picnic basket and are comfortably ensconced on a large tartan blanket next to one of Tahani's enormous fountains, sharing a quiche and talking about everything and nothing. I'm staring into his gorgeous brown eyes like a complete sap as he enthuses about Charles Dickens and it's one of those perfect moments when it seems like you're the only people in the world.

"Hey, you two," says Chidi, plopping himself down onto the blanket and proving me wrong. "I'm so glad I ran into you, I have all these new books I want to go over with someone!" I groan and bury my head in the priest's lap and bid goodbye to our romantic afternoon.

A week or so later, we stay up late for a very nice dinner at the clam chowder brasserie, and walk home hand-in-hand through the winding, cobbled streets. I end up pinned into the alcove just inside my front door, being consensually mauled by my neighbour, who's sucking little bruises into my collarbone and pressing his knee in between my thighs in just the right way...

At this moment, Eleanor bursts in the door to tell us that the unicorn is giving birth and she needs us on hand to cut the umbilical cord.

Later, we fall asleep as soon as we hit the sheets, after taking off our elbow-length plastic gloves and showering off the amniotic glitter that somehow got into every crevice of our bodies. We wake up achy and exhausted, and he buries his face in my neck and groans.

"I wish there was some way we could just be alone for 24 hours," he murmurs into my skin.

I have an idea. "Janet? Is there somewhere that we can go that's not here?"

We alight the train in a huge empty field and trek for what seems like an eternity in the burning sunshine. The priest is fidgeting and rubbing the back of his neck - his skin is probably already starting to burn, so I bump him with my shoulder and flop my hat over his head. The big sunflower on the brim quite suits him, actually.

Finally, we come across a neat little house surrounded by flowers, and rap on the door. It's opened by a wild-looking man in a tuxedo, holding a martini glass full of fridge magnets.

"Good Derek," he says politely. "How may I Derek you today?"

"Uh-" I begin.

"Derek, go and stand in the closet and be quiet," says a sharp voice. A walking set of shoulder pads comes to the door and smiles at us insincerely. Derek stomps away, muttering "Maximum Derek" to himself, over and over.

"Is he OK?" asks the priest, peering around the corner.

"No, his brain is wrong and he has a musical instrument for a penis."

"Is that a euphemism?" I ask. I knew a guy like that once.

"No," she says flatly. "How can I help you fine people? Come right on in. Do you like cocaine?"

"So you're telling me, you're here on some kind of fucked-up honeymoon?"

"I can swear here?" gasps the priest. "Thank fuck."

"Too fucking right," I agree, and he cups my face and kisses me. Mindy makes retching sounds in the background, but she's coked up to her eyeballs at this point so I don't think much of it.

"We just need to borrow your spare room for a day," I say, as the priest rubs little circles over the base of my skull with his thumb. "Or maybe two days."

"I don't know why they keep interrupting us," he pouts. I want to bite his lip. "We're supposed to be having a good time."

"Oh my God," she drawls, sounding unbelievably bored, "it's as though you're not even in the Good Place at all."

We turn to her, wide-eyed and gaping.

"Oh please," she scoffs. "You would have figured it out ages ago if you weren't too busy-" She makes an obscene, but very accurate, hand gesture. "I mean, I looked it up, and there have been literally no Catholic priests who have made it into the Good Place. Ever."

"I wasn't the bad kind of priest," he mumbles, but my mind is too busy whirring to pay attention.

"We're being tortured," I say slowly. "That makes a lot more sense." We're just digesting this information when there's a knock on the door. Mindy frowns and strides over to open it.

"Hi," says Janet cheerily, waving at us. "I have a message for you from Eleanor - she says it's time for you to find out the truth. Please come with me."

Derek appears, walking backwards out of the bedroom ."Well, well, well," he announces. "Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet. Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet Janet."

"Go away, Derek," says Janet firmly. "I do not want to talk to you."

"Janet Janet Janet," he continues.

"Leave."

He deflates. "OK, Mommy-ex-girlfriend," he says, sounding like a lost little boy. "Take this, to remember me by." He hands her the glass full of magnets, which she grabs from him and stalks off towards the train station.

"We could just stay here and fuck forever," I say to the priest. I'm only 50% serious.

"Come on," he says, jerking his head towards the door and giving me one of his crooked smiles. After saying our goodbyes to Mindy, we trail reluctantly behind Janet and take a seat on the train. I toy idly with two of the magnets out of the martini glass.

"I don't want this all to end," I say quietly.

"Me neither," he says, taking my hand.

The train jolts as it rounds a corner and abruptly the magnets fly out of my grip and adhere firmly to Janet's forehead. She twitches and jerks, pulling levers on the control panel at random.

We watch in horror as the train speeds up and misses the next station entirely, careening out of control down the tracks.

#fleabag #the good place #my fics #fork you then

11 notes · View notes

arysafics · 6 years ago

Text

wish you the worst, wish you the best

Summary: Clarke and Bellamy are in a happy relationship until Octavia has an accident and he has to go across the country to look after her.

Rated T, ~4,500 words

for @eyessharpweaponshot

Bellamy is the one who encouraged Clarke to start her own business. Almost two years into their relationship, Clarke having just finished med school and knowing she absolutely didn’t want to be a doctor. But she hadn’t known that when she started, and it’s what her mom wanted, and Clarke has never been a quitter. She still told everyone she wanted to be a doctor. Because it’s impressive, right? To be able to tell people you’re a doctor. And her mom was so proud of her. And her dad would have been so proud of her. But Bellamy saw right through her.

It took some convincing, but Clarke eventually came around on the idea of starting her own graphic design business. Art has always been what she truly loves, and with Bellamy whispering to her you deserve to do something for yourself for once, she decided to go for it.

And now, two months later, she’s holding a launch party, because why the hell not? She’s got family and friends and potential clients around her, and, most importantly of all, the love of her life, her sun, her rock, Bellamy, at her side, looking so goddamn proud of her.

“I knew you could do it,” he whispers, kissing her cheek as yet another person walks away after saying their farewell and congratulating her again. Clarke leans into his side, trying to use him as an anchor so she doesn’t start feeling too giddy about the whole thing. It doesn’t work.

“We don’t even know if I’m going to be successful yet,” Clarke says. “Maybe I’ll crash and burn in the first month.”

“You won’t,” Bellamy assures her. His arm wraps around her, pulling her even closer.

Clarke looks up at him. It’s hard to fathom his unwavering faith in her sometimes. “But what if I do?” she asks.

“Then we’ll work though that together if the time comes,” Bellamy says. “Just like I know we can work through anything else together. But you’ve got this. I know you do.” He plants a kiss on the top of her head.

“You’re the best person in the world, you know that?” Clarke tells him. Bellamy chuckles.

“Come on, almost everyone is gone. We can sneak out,” Bellamy says. His eyes drop to her cleavage. “I’ve been trying to keep my hands off you all night.”

Clarke laughs. “What, you think you’re getting lucky just because you were nice to me?”

Bellamy smirks at her. “No, I think I’m getting lucky because you’ve been eyeing me like I’m a piece of meat all night.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“I know you, Clarke,” Bellamy says. Clarke feels her heart twinge. He does know her. Like no one else does. She’s not sure how she got so lucky as to get to be with him. She rolls her eyes at him.

“Okay, let’s go,” she says, leaning up to kiss him. “Otherwise I’ll end up asking you to fuck me in the bathroom, and that didn’t go so well the last time we tried it.”

Bellamy laughs. “Yeah, but it was memorable,” he grins. “If a little unsexy.”

“Bellamy, you fell in a urinal. Unsexy doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

Bellamy is still grinning. “Point taken. Let’s stop talking about it before you kill my hard on.”

“You’re hard already, baby?” Clarke whispers huskily, eyes dropping to his crotch.

“Yeah, and if you keep using that voice on me it’s only going to get worse,” Bellamy says. “You look so goddamn sexy tonight, Clarke,” he says, and it’s his turn to drop his voice all low and seductive. Clarke shivers. She rubs her hand over his chest.

“Let’s go,” she says. “And I’ll take care of that for you.”

They give a hurried goodbye to the last couple of hangers on, and dart outside. The night is warm and breezy, the kind of air that gives Clarke the feeling like things are happening. Like anything could happen.

They get into the back seat of their Uber and Bellamy takes her hand, his fingers linked in hers all the way home. Clarke leans back against the seat, unable to keep the smile from her face. She glances at Bellamy. She’s sure she’s never been so undeniably happy in all her life.

Later, after he’s made her come several times, she wraps herself in his arms and buries her head into his chest, her love for him almost overwhelming.

“Everything okay?” he asks, stroking her hair.

“Yeah,” Clarke says. “Just thinking about how grateful I am for you. I never could have done this without you. It’s a scary thing to quit something sure and secure and try and start something new. But I knew I could do it, because I’ve got you. You make me feel safe.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy whispers, lips against her hair. “Marry me.”

“What?” She pulls away, searching his eyes to see if he’s serious. He’s never looked more earnest in all his life.

“I was going to wait until our anniversary. But I don’t want to wait. Will you marry me?”

Clarke breaks out into a grin. “Yes,” she laughs. “Yes.”

A week later, Clarke has had two clients. She’s anxious that business won’t pick up, but Bellamy reassures her that once she gets her name out there, once her satisfied clients start crowing about her, she’ll be so inundated with jobs she’ll be able to pick and choose. Clarke hopes he’s right.

She’s working on designing wedding invitations (for a client, not for herself), but she keeps getting distracted by the giant rock on her left hand, feeling giddy every time she looks at it. She keeps fiddling with it, and staring at it, still not used to it on her finger. She’s about to give up on the invitations and go for an early lunch when Bellamy rings.

“Hey,” she answers, putting him on speaker while she fiddles around on the computer. “Did you want me to pick up something for dinner tonight, because I was thinking—”

“Clarke,” Bellamy interrupts, his voice ragged and weak. Clarke’s stomach drops. She picks up the phone and puts it to her ear.

“What’s wrong?”

“There was an accident,” he says. “Octavia—” he swallows. “She’s alive but she’s in a critical condition. I have to fly home.”

“Okay. Okay,” Clarke says. “I’ll be right home. We’ll get the next flight.”

Bellamy is already mostly packed for both of them by the time she gets home, and has already bought the plane tickets. He’s in the bedroom, zipping up his suitcase. Clarke goes to his side and rubs his arm to comfort him.

“Are you okay?” she asks. He’s wearing an expression of stoicism, and he nods shortly, his jaw tight. He’s very clearly not okay, but Clarke knows better than to push him. He’ll open up when he’s ready. “What happened?” she asks.

“Car accident,” Bellamy says tersely. “She accidentally ran a red light. They’re taking her into surgery as soon as they can. Won’t know more until we get there. Flight is in two hours.”

“You want to get to the airport early and have a drink or two?”

Bellamy nods. He swallows, and a tear leaks from his eye. “Clarke—” Clarke doesn’t hesitate. Her arms circle around his neck, and he grips her around her waist tightly, burying his head against her shoulder. “What if she doesn’t make it?” he whispers.

“She will.”

“But what if she doesn’t?”

“Then we’ll get through it together.”

Clarke knows Bellamy hates hospitals, knows it reminds him of his mother’s final months, when it became clear the chemo wasn’t working. She grips his hand tightly, and leads the way to Octavia’s room. It’s hard for Clarke to see Octavia like this, looking weak and bruised and broken, so she can’t imagine what it must be like for Bellamy. He looks sick to his stomach, and he’s squeezing Clarke’s hand so tight she thinks it might break.

Octavia’s eyes crack open. “Hey, big brother,” she groans. Bellamy practically sobs in relief. He drops Clarke’s hand and is at Octavia’s side in a second.

“You’re okay,” he says.

“I’m alive, if that’s what you mean,” she says. “And apparently my surgery went well. But I feel like hell. Hey, Clarke.”

“Hey,” Clarke smiles. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

A doctor enters the room. “You must be Octavia’s brother. Bellamy, right?”

Bellamy nods. “My fiancée, Clarke,” Bellamy introduces.

“I’m Dr Nyko. I’m happy to tell you the surgery went well. Provided there are no further complications, Octavia should make a full recovery. But she will need physical therapy.”

“How long for?” Bellamy asks. Nyko tilts his head, considering.

“A couple of months, maybe.”

“Fuck that,” Octavia groans.

“You’re lucky you’re alive,” Nyko reminds her. He turns his attention back to Bellamy. “We’ll keep her in here for a little while longer. Will you be around to take care of her after that, until she’s fully recovered?”

Bellamy glances at Clarke. “Yeah, of course.”

They stay at Octavia’s place. It’s a house meant for a family, but Octavia lives there alone, since her husband passed a year ago. Clarke doesn’t know how she could stand it.

Clarke comes out of the bathroom and walks into the guest bedroom, where Bellamy is sitting up in bed, glasses on, reading a crime thriller. Not his usual genre, but he’d forgotten to pack a book and it’s one of the only books Octavia owns. Clarke crawls into bed beside him, and snuggles into his side.

“I’m glad Octavia is going to be okay,” she says. “Even if she does need physical therapy.”

Bellamy puts his book down. “I know. It could have been so much worse. But she’ll have me to help her through it as well. Though I’m sure we’ll drive each other crazy,” he laughs.

Clarke smiles, just for a moment, before she swallows. “Bellamy, I—” she starts. “I have to go back. You know I want to stay here with you, but with my business just starting… I can’t be away for that long.”

Bellamy looks at her, then slides down, so he’s lying beside her. “I know,” he whispers. “I don’t want you to go either, but I know you have to.”

“I’ll come back whenever I can,” Clarke whispers. “And we can talk on the phone every day.”

“Two months will fly by. And then I’ll be back and we can plan our wedding.” Clarke gives him a watery smile. When had she started crying? Bellamy wipes away a tear with his thumb. “Hey,” he says soothingly. “It’s going to be okay, I promise. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Their goodbye at the airport is lot more tearful than Clarke would have liked. It’s so dumb. She hasn’t even left yet and she already misses him. How the fuck is she going to go two months without seeing him every day? She cries for the first hour of the flight, until she’s all out of tears. Then she just feels hollow.

She calls him as soon as she lands, forgetting about the time difference. He answers anyway, voice hoarse from sleep.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Clarke returns. “Sorry, I forgot it’s like midnight there.”

“It’s okay. How was your flight?”

“Shitty. I can’t wait to get home.”

“I’ll bet.”

There’s a silence, and Clarke bites her lip. “I should let you get back to sleep. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, baby,” Bellamy says. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She hangs up, and then she’s crying again.

Clarke manages to distract herself from Bellamy’s absence with work. In her second week, she picks up a few new jobs, and then, all of a sudden, she’s busy. She stays at her office until at least six most nights, working on invitations, cards, and banners, among other things. Then she has to deal with the business side of things too, which she kind of hates, and it always takes her much longer than it should because she procrastinates and grumbles about it the whole time.

She’ll call Bellamy when she gets home from work most nights, try to fill him on her day, and he does the same. It’s mostly just mundane stuff though. I got a new client today. Octavia is out of the hospital. My mom is coming over for dinner. It’s too hard to talk properly over the phone. She wants to tell him how hard it is without him. How she feels overwhelmed by all the work she has to do, and she wishes she could curl up in his arms at the end of the day and have him tell her it will be okay. She wants to tell him about how she accidentally fucked up and charged a customer too much and they yelled at her until she cried. But she can’t say any of that over the phone. She doesn’t want to make him feel guilty for looking after his sister instead of her. So she lets him think everything is perfect, and she refuses to cry while she’s on the phone to him.

She wants to talk to him every day, but she’s so busy, and half the time by the time she gets home it’s too late to call. So she’ll send him a goodnight message for him to wake up to, telling him she loves him and she misses him.

She’s exhausted by the time she gets to bed. Yet she can’t fall asleep for hours, and she knows it’s because he’s not there. Her chest aches she misses him so badly. She’ll scroll through her photos of him on her phone, or his Instagram or his Facebook profile, until her eyes hurt and her eyelids physically can’t stay open anymore. And every morning when she wakes up, she has that same gut-wrenching burst of dread when she realises he’s not in bed with her. She takes a few deep breaths, and reminds herself she’s one day closer to seeing him again.

It’s been over a month when Bellamy asks her when she’s visiting. Clarke stops short, feeling immensely guilty. She’d forgotten she even made the promise to visit.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I’m so busy. I’m not sure.”

Bellamy sighs, and Clarke feels like he’s annoyed at her. Has he been waiting for her to organise a trip this whole time? “It’s fine, Clarke. I get it. I just miss you is all.”

“I know, baby. I miss you too. I want to see you, I really do. It’s just it’s five hours there and five hours back, and I wouldn’t get any work done while I was with you,” Clarke babbles. God, she’s such a shitty girlfriend. Fiancée, she reminds herself. She’s so used to the ring now she forgets it’s there sometimes.

“Okay,” Bellamy says, a little shortly.

“It’s only another month,” Clarke says, trying to reassure them both. They can do it. And then they’ve got the rest of their lives together.

“Actually,” Bellamy says, and Clarke’s chest tightens. “They think it’s going to be a little longer.”

“How much longer?”

“Not sure. But Octavia doesn’t have anyone else. It’s just me. I have to—”

“I know,” Clarke says quickly.

“If you get the time, see if you can make the trip.”

“I’ll try. I miss you.”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“I know, Clarke.”

When she opens Bellamy’s Facebook page three days later, there’s a new photo, one he’s been tagged in by someone named Echo. Took this guy on an early birthday hike, the caption reads, underneath the picture of Bellamy posing on top of a rock. Clarke’s stomach drops. It’s his fucking birthday tomorrow. That’s why he was hinting that he wanted her to visit. Guilt thuds in her stomach, and she feels like she’s going to be sick. What kind of self-involved idiot forgets their fiancé’s birthday?

She stares at the photo. He looks happy. He’s grinning goofily at whoever is taking the picture. This Echo woman, Clarke supposes. She wonders why he’s never mentioned her. The guilt that churns in her stomach morphs into something worse, something nasty and sinister, and Clarke clicks on Echo’s name. She’s taken to Echo’s Facebook profile, which is completely public. Her bio reads that she’s an influencer. Clarke rolls her eyes.

She scrolls through Echo’s photos. There’s only the one of Bellamy, the rest are all of Echo herself, posing sexily in all of them. She’s a thin brunette with legs for days. Clarke hates her on sight. She tries to tell herself she’s not jealous. So what if Bellamy went hiking with this woman a day before his birthday? It doesn’t mean anything. Clarke hates hiking, so it’s not like she would have wanted to do that with him anyway. And he’s allowed to have hot friends. There’s no crime against that. Besides, he would never cheat on her. She knows that. Bellamy knows she’s been two-timed before, knows what that did to her. He’d never put her through that.

Still, she has an urge to jump on the next flight and be there for his birthday. Pretend she’d been planning to surprise him all along. But then she thinks about the appointments she’d have to cancel, the clients she might lose, the work she wouldn’t get done. It’s still so early on, she can’t afford to miss even a day.

So instead she goes online and orders flowers to be sent to him. It’s not enough, she knows, but it will have to do.

Clarke had been counting down the weeks until Bellamy returns. But now it’s indefinite, and two months turns into three and then four. They seem to fly by and yet drag on at the same time. She keeps telling herself she’ll go and visit, but then something will come up with work and she has to postpone.

They speak less and less now, and Clarke hates it, and she feels awful, and she knows it’s her fault. But she can’t say anything to make it better, can’t do anything to change it. She just needs him to come home. Then things will go back to normal. She can remind him how much she loves him with actions, instead of just repeating it over and over on the phone, where it sounds weak and far away.

Sometimes when she calls now, he doesn’t even pick up. She cries most nights, missing him more than ever, until one day she can’t take it anymore, and she decides she has to fly out and see him. She calls him while she’s at work to let him know, and thankfully he picks up.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey, I’m a little busy, what’s up?”

“Oh. That’s okay. I was just going to say I think I’m going to come and visit.”

“Oh,” Bellamy says. “You know, you don’t need to. I’ll be back soon. Octavia’s done with physical therapy.”

“She is? That’s great! Did you just find out?”

“Last week.”

“Last week? Why didn’t you call?”

“Sorry. I guess I forgot. Her last session was yesterday. So I’ll be back in a couple of days.”

“A couple of days.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll see you then.”

“See you then.”

“I love you.”

He’s already hung up the phone.

She picks him up at the airport, though he insists she doesn’t have to. They should have a million things to talk about, but the drive is silent.

“Everything okay?” Clarke asks. She knows it’s not. She doesn’t know what’s wrong exactly, but she knows it’s something.

“I’m just tired,” Bellamy says. Clarke nods. She’s not going to cry. For all she knows, there’s nothing to cry about. He probably is tired.

She crawls into bed beside him that night, and she feels this wall between them. She doesn’t know if she put it there, or if he did. She doesn’t want to bring it up, in case she’s being crazy. Doesn’t want to make it real. Doesn’t want to admit that they’re not the same as they were four months ago. That distance didn’t make them stronger, that it chipped away at their bond, and Clarke is afraid that it’s unfixable. She’s afraid she’s the only one who wants to fix it.

“Bellamy,” she whispers. There’s a moment of silence, and Clarke thinks he must be asleep. Or pretending to be asleep.

“Yeah?”

“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?”

More silence. “I don’t know, Clarke.”

Clarke cries herself to sleep again.

Over the next few days, Clarke tries to make up for lost time. She still has to work, but she comes home as soon as she can, makes him dinner, tells him about her day. Clarke thinks maybe he’s trying too. He goes back to work, and he tells her about the dumb things his students do, like he used to. There are a few moments when they feel like their old selves again, and it gives Clarke a glimmer of hope.

But they still don’t talk about the problem. She doesn’t ask him, and he doesn’t tell her. And as long as they don’t discuss it, it stands between them, this dark unknown that Clarke can’t cross, no matter how much she wants to.

They haven’t had sex in four months. He should be desperate for her, the way she is for him. But he doesn’t reach for her at night, and she can’t bring herself to make the first move.

She wakes up one night, just after four am. Bellamy isn’t in bed. Clarke gets up and pads out to the living room. She can hear him talking in a low whisper, his deep voice filling the room despite trying to be quiet. Clarke stops in the doorway. He’s on the phone.

“Yeah,” he says. “I should go back to bed. Thanks, Echo.”

Clarke’s stomach churns. She’s not sure which emotion is stronger, despair, anger, or jealousy. Bellamy stands and turns. He stops when he sees Clarke standing in the doorway.

“Echo, huh?” she says, trying to keep the hurt from her voice.

“We were just talking,” Bellamy says.

“At four am?” Clarke scoffs. “What’s so important that it couldn’t wait until a reasonable hour?”

“Clarke,” Bellamy huffs. “Don’t make a big deal out of this.”

Clarke shakes her head, outraged and hurt. “Did you fuck her?”

“No,” Bellamy says vehemently. “The fact that you would even think—”

“So I’m crazy, is that it? Stupid, paranoid Clarke.”

“I didn’t fuck her.”

“So what, then?” Clarke whispers. Bellamy is silent for a moment.

“You know Octavia’s car accident? Turns out it wasn’t an accident. She ran the red light on purpose.”

Clarke stares at him in shock. “Bellamy—”

“She tried to kill herself. Do you have any idea what that was like for me to find out?”

Clarke shakes her head. “How could I? You never told me. I wanted to be there for you—”

“But you weren’t! You were across the other side of the fucking country. You never even fucking tried to come and see me,” Bellamy snaps, finally losing it.

“You know why I wasn’t there! I had a business to run! And if you’d just told me—”

“A business that’s more important than your fiancé.”

Clarke wants to slap him. Tears well in her eyes. “You told me to go for it. You wanted me to be successful. How can you throw that in my face now?”

“I’m not throwing it in your face! I’m just pointing out that you made a choice. And your choice had consequences.”

“Consequences? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You asked me what I had with Echo.”

Clarke stares at him. They have something? “What do you mean?”

“I needed someone, and you weren’t there. So I had to turn to someone else.”

Clarke sobs, and the dam breaks. “You shut me out. And then you found someone else to confide in? All the things you should have been telling me, you told her? How could you? After what I went through with Finn?”

“Clarke, I never cheated on you.”

“You may as fucking well have!” Clarke screams. “I hate you. I hate you.”

Bellamy’s jaw ticks. “You hate me?”

“Yes, I fucking hate you. I hate you and I don’t want to look at you. Why don’t you go and fuck Echo, since you so obviously want to? We’re done. It’s over.”

Bellamy stares at her, his face hardened. She wants him to hurt, like she hurts. She wants him to break down and cry and tell her he’s sorry and that he loves her and doesn’t want to be without her. She wants him to say that they can work this out, that it’s not too late. But he doesn’t.

“Yeah, I know,” he says. Clarke feels like she’s been punched. All the air leaves her, and she finds herself gasping for breath. He pushes past her, towards the bedroom. Clarke stands there, feeling hopeless and confused. She doesn’t really want it to be over. She’s just angry and hurt.

“Bellamy,” she calls after him, but her voice is barely a whisper. “Bellamy!” she says again, louder this time. She follows him to the bedroom. He has his still half-full suitcase on the bed, and he’s throwing things into it haphazardly. “What are you doing?”

He doesn’t answer. He zips up the suitcase and picks it up off the bed. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to look at me another second longer.”

He walks past her, out of the bedroom, and she chases after him. “Where are you even going to go? It’s 4am.”

“I’ll find somewhere.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke says, her voice softening. “Bellamy, don’t go. Please don’t go. I love you.”

He stops, and for the first time, Clarke sees some hint that he still cares for her. Can see him warring with himself, whether to leave, or whether to go to her, comfort her. “I know,” he whispers. “Clarke,” he says, and his voice breaks. “I just can’t do this anymore. Things just aren’t the same. We’re not the same.”

“But what about all the things you said? What about working through things together?” Clarke asks, somehow managing to get words out through her tears. “What about this?” She holds up her left hand, and points to the ring.

A tear runs down his cheek. “I’m sorry. But you let me down when I needed you. And I don’t think I can risk that happening again.”

Clarke swallows the bile that has risen up in her throat. She wants to scream. He’s acting like this is all her fault. Well, fuck him. He’s made up his mind, and she won’t degrade herself by begging any further. She lifts her chin defiantly. “Fine,” she spits. “Go. I hope you and Echo have a very happy life together.”

And then he walks out the door. Clarke sinks to the floor, chest heaving, crying harder than she’s ever cried before.

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #the 100 #the 100 fanfiction #mine

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scornedlove · 6 years ago

Text

Chapter Seventeen

Robyn

It was happening again. After almost a year of not having crazy dreams, I was having nightmares again.

This time, I dreamt I was getting married. I was walking down the aisle with happy tears because everything was so beautiful and all my friends and family were there. When my veil was lifted, I was standing in front of Chris. We say our vows and kiss. When we turn and face the crowd, everyone stands up and applauds except for Melanie, who is shaking her head with her arms crossed and a pregnant woman in the front row, who looks too big to stand, even if she wanted to. She’s sitting next to Joyce with her head down and her shoulders are shaking as if she’s crying. I squeeze Chris’ hand tighter to grab his attention and point the woman out to him, but when I look back at her, she’s gone. We walk down the aisle and out of the church to a motorcycle that has just married on the back of it, with ribbon and flowers flowing down the back. We both hop on the motorcycle while everyone’s yelling congratulations and blowing kisses at us. Before pulling off, Chris decides to pop a wheely and I fall off the motorcycle in my big ass, white gown, so I’m standing there yelling at him while he’s still driving. Then, in front of my eyes, a truck crashes into to him, and my eyes pop open. It was a horrible nightmare and I always woke up just as the truck crashes into him.

It was like hearing from Chris resurfaced energy it took me forever to bury. Maybe it was because I unintentionally stood him up. With everything that was going on with Rayven, I had completely forgotten about Chris that entire week. By the time I remembered, it felt foolish to try and apologize a week later, so I didn’t.

Nevertheless, today was the third time I’ve had this dream in the past month and each time I was in bed with Dre, thank God he didn’t wake up this time. It took him a week to stop asking me if I was okay the last time, when he witnessed the night sweats.

Instead of having breakfast with Dre, like I usually did after crashing at his place, I decided to get up and get an early start on my day. I joined a gym in my neighborhood a few weeks ago and had been coming three days a week since.

It was a nice, comfortable environment and I'd already met a cool chick who was on a strict workout plan, preparing to be a bridesmaid in her friend’s wedding. She was usually halfway through her session when I got there, but that didn't stop us from having a little friendly competition.

"Good morning Robyn. You're here earlier than usual” she smiled brightly as sweat glistened on her forehead.

“Mornin Katy” I replied, as I shoved my glasses, hat, and phone in a locker.

“I’ve already done my six miles, thanks to that B12 injection I got yesterday" she announced, following me to the floor and sitting on the squat machine next to me. “I’m telling you, that stuff is a game changer, and I’m gonna need all the energy I can get, so I can be nice and tight for that dress.”

"I absolutely hate injections and needles” I frowned at the thought “Well...unless I’m getting a tattoo”

“I swear people who have the most tattoos are the most pussy when it comes to injections” she laughed shaking her head. “What’s up though? You seem kind of down today?”

“I’m just a little tired” I replied, forcing a smile as I put some ten-pound weights on the bars.

“Oh, our eye candy isn’t here yet. He usually wakes you up, you seem to sweat a little harder on the days he’s here” she teased, referring to one of the trainers.

“Yeah, his smile sure does give me a little picker upper” I grinned, thinking of the last time he was here. He was training some girl who already had a perfect body, probably a model, and it was funny to watch him sweat as she kept bending over directly in front of him, obviously wanting a different kind of workout.

“Speak of the sexy little devil, here he comes now” she nodded towards the entrance.

“How are you ladies today?” he asked with a smile, locking eyes with me as he walked past us.

“Oh, we’re good now that you’re here” Katy winked and I could see his cheeks turn a little pink as he chuckled softly, but kept it moving.

“You are pitiful, leave that baby alone. I’m sure he gets enough of that from these tiny little 'models' he’s always training. I would be jumping at the chance to have him as a trainer too, if he were a decade older” I laughed. We worked out together for another half hour, people watching and laughing about the ones who were obviously here just to post it on social media.

After Katy left, I jogged three miles of my own, then hit the showers. I always felt ten times better after my workout, it put me in a singing mood. Today’s jam was ‘Girl on Fire’ by Alicia Keys.

“You have a beautiful voice” someone pointed out, scaring the shit outta me while I was digging for lotion in my locker. I thought I was the only one in the locker room.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” he grinned at how hard I jumped.

“Boy, do you know I could’ve slapped the shit outta you” I replied, clutching my chest.

“Who’s to say I wouldn’t have enjoyed it?” he asked raising his eyebrow.

“Don’t do that” I ordered, pulling the rest of my things from my locker.

“What?” he asked confused.

“Don’t flirt with me. I’m old enough to be your mama, or at least ya damn auntie” I replied, and he burst into laughter.

“You’re hella gorgeous and funny. I like that”

“Thank you” I smiled as our eyes connected.

"That was a nice workout you did today, but when you're ready for the real deal, let Quincy know” he stated, patting his chest. “I can help you on your form" He licked his lips, then proceeded to undress me with his eyes, and that was my cue to leave.

“Enjoy the rest of your day Quincy, and try not to scare the shit outta anyone else” I called over my shoulder.

After the gym, I had a doctor’s appointment to rush to. I was beyond nervous because I was here for lab results. I came a few days ago for a routine pap smear, but ended up getting a lot of other testing done too. I was wondering if it was possible for me to get pregnant again, even though I wasn't planning on it anytime soon. It’s just something that’s been heavy on my heart, so I wanted answers.

My palms were sweaty and my stomach churned as I waited for the doctor to come in. I just felt bad news coming and it made me anxious.

"Hey Mrs. Fenty, how are you doing today?

"Nervous"

"Well I have the answers to your questions right here" he stated, flipping through a stack of papers.

He went over my lab results and hysteroscopy with me and broke everything down to simpler terms.

"So overall, you're healthy. Your uterus did sustain a lot of scar tissue from the previous injury, which dramatically lowers your chances of being able to carry a baby again"

"what does that mean?"

"you will probably have no problem getting pregnant, but it's not very likely you'll ever make it past the first trimester again. If you and your husband are considering kids, it may be better to use a surrogate"

"Oh no, I just wanted to know. I'm not married and I'm not trying to get pregnant, I just wanted to know where I stood"

"Well if you ever decide to go that route, let me know. I know a good doctor"

I was supposed to have dinner with Dre and his mom tonight, but after my appointment, I wasn't in the mood to slap on a fake smile. Dre reads through that shit instantly, which means I would have to explain why I was in a sour mood. So instead, I went home and drank a bottle of Chardonnay to myself. This is the closest you get to a pity party" I told myself as I rolled a blunt.

I took it easy the rest of the weekend. I just sat at home with Ollie and Pepe, watching TV and eating junk. When Monday morning came, I'd gotten all the pity out of my system and was ready to work off that extra 5 pounds I gained overnight.

"Good morning. Are you ready to work on that form?" Quincy greeted me bright and early with that big ass smile he always had. It was eerily quiet with only one other person working out this morning, but that didn’t make him any less jolly.

"As a matter of fact, I am" I replied, catching him off guard. Still, that didn't stop him from coming through with the good advice. We had a thirty-minute session, but when it was over, I was drenched in sweat.

I walked a couple of miles to cool down then took at quick shower so I could avoid rush hour on the way to work. John was a good driver, but no one stood a chance against rush hour traffic.

"Thanks for the pointers today" I smiled when Quincy walked in the locker room. “I really feel the burn”

"My pleasure" he smiled, licking his lips. I swear he was doing that shit on purpose.

“Do you mind helping me out with my necklace?" I asked, after it slipped through my fingers for the third time.

"Of course" he replied, taking it in his hand and putting it around my neck. "You smell really good"

"Thanks"

“No problem” he whispered so softly, that he made the hairs on the back of my neck stand and sent shivers down my spine. My body shook involuntarily causing me to bump into him and I accidentally felt his manhood.

“Oh my God. I’m sorry. That tickled and I got the chills, I’m so sorry” I apologized repeatedly. I was embarrassed, but more impressed than anything. He had basketball shorts on so I felt everything. I couldn’t believe it was rock hard and a nice size at that.

“Hey girl, I woke up late today and-” Katy immediately paused, feeling the tension in the air.

“It was good working with you today, let me know when you’re ready for more” Quincy winked, leaving me to face Katy’s curious expression, and adding even more to the flame with that wink.

Chris

“Wow. This is beautiful. What do you call it?” Tae asked, as soon as we entered my bedroom. She came to the city this weekend, for my art exhibition and couldn’t get enough. She wanted to see more, so I invited her over to see some of the things I painted in my new home.

“Monster. I painted this in one night. I couldn’t sleep, so I found myself painting with no end in mind, this was the finished product” I explained.

“You are really talented. Her eyes are so intense” she continued in awe. “And look at her lips”

“Look at your lips” I replied, licking my own, then leaning in and kissing hers. It was bold, but I could tell she wanted it, because she wasted no time slipping her tongue in my mouth.

“Damn” she grinned, after I pulled back. “That was unexpected”

“In a bad way or a good way?”

“In a great way, but I might as well tell you now. I’m celibate, so that’s about as far as you’re gonna get without a ring on my finger”

“Whoa, I wish you would’ve told me that sooner. Now I feel like I crossed the line, and I don’t want to disrespect you”

“No, that was nice. I just don’t want you getting any other ideas” she laughed playfully, as her phone began to vibrate. She took it out, replied to a text, and put it back in her pocket for the hundredth time today.

“You must be a popular lady” I teased.

“Wouldn’t you like to know” she replied, leaning in and kissing me this time.

“Naw, you can’t be doing stuff like that. That’s not fair” I quickly shook my head, as the alarm chimed, signaling that someone just came in the house.

I knew it wasn’t Anthony, he wasn’t supposed to be back for another few hours, so I jumped up and ran down the hall to find out who it was.

“Chris!" Mama called out as I jogged down the stairs.

"Hey mama, what's up? You always call before you come"

"I have something to tell you” she began, getting straight to the point.

“This must be some serious stuff for you to drive all the way over here” I chuckled.

“We need to sit down” she sighed walking to the living room and sitting on the sofa.

“You okay?” I asked and she nodded. “What’s going on mama? Don’t tell me I’m gonna have to beat Richard’s ass”

“What? No Chris” she rolled her eyes. “This is going to be a lot to process, and I’m sorry I never told you this before. I had a baby when you were six. I was going through a lot at the time, and I couldn’t handle another child, so I gave him up for adoption"

"Wow...wait. Why are you telling me now?"

"He showed up at my doorstep a couple of months ago. I thought the records were sealed, but he found me. We’ve been spending some time together, but he wanted to be sure about the paternity before taking our relationship any further, so we had a DNA test done and I got the results today. He's really my baby boy” she whispered, clutching the papers to her chest.

“Wow Ma. I don't even know what to say right now?” I stared at her, lost for words. “I’m surprised you could go all this time without telling me something like this”

"It’s not something I was proud of, you know. I didn't think about the possibility of him wanting to know me after all this time, and there were so many feelings surrounding my pregnancy, that I hoped to never have to explain, so I forced myself to live with my decision"

"What do you mean"

"He came out looking just like his dad, and I couldn't live with that at the time”

“Wait, you said ‘his’ dad, so that means...”

“Yes, you two have different fathers. Anyway, I told him he has a brother and he's been wanting to meet you. I thought it would be best if we knew the DNA results first, so now that they're here, I thought we could all have dinner tonight at my house”

“Of course, if I have a brother out there, I definitely want to meet him” I nodded adamantly.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m going to get going Chris” Tae announced.

“I’m so sorry, Tae. This is my mom, Joyce. Mama, this is Lashontae. She’s Lala’s maid of honor”

"You are gorgeous Lashontae” Mama complimented, shaking her hand. “Chris, you should’ve told me you have company.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I see you have family stuff going on, so I think I should go”

“Nonsense honey. I didn’t mean to interrupt what you two had going on. I’m going to get going, I have to get to the supermarket. I’ll see you later Chris” Mama smiled. “It was good to meet you Lashontae, you’re welcome to join us for dinner later” she added on her way out.

“Aww, you look so much like your mom, and she’s super sweet” Tae grinned.

“Thank you. You’re not leaving yet, are you?”

“Well, I kind of overheard your mom, I figured you might want some privacy, so I was going to head back to Lala’s.” Tae replied.

“Please stay and join us tonight. Mama can really cook, I promise you won’t be disappointed”

“I'm sure she can, I just don’t want to impose on something so private”

“Stop it. I want you to be there. It’s not like I can just come swoop you up whenever I want to chill with you, so I want to make the most of the time you do get to spend out here”

“Okay, under one circumstance”

“What’s that?” I asked, hoping it was reasonable.

“I want you to paint something for me” she smiled.

“I should’ve known” I smirked. She was legit a fan of mine and that alone turned me on. The fact that she was celibate also ignited a fire in me. Everything about her was too perfect, and I couldn’t believe luck was on my side with this one. She was beautiful with a banging body, had brains, and was successful in her career. I couldn’t help but wonder if she had any secrets in her closet, only time will tell.

#robyn rihanna fenty #riri #fanfic #fanfiction #ff #chris brown #breezy #Chrianna

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iamhereforthesmut · 6 years ago

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Big bad wolf misses his wife

Negan x Eugene NSFW NON-CON

Hi there! As promised, here a Negan x Eugene fic. Sorry for mistakes and for torturing our poor boy. Have fun ~

WARNING: Non-con, NSFW, M/M

Eugene shivers when he felt Negan’s breath near his ear.

“What would you say if I tell you to come in my room at sunset?”

The engineer couldn’t help but stutters.

“I… I would wonder why? You can always come to my room or we can talk here too.”

Negan smirks and something tells Eugene he didn’t quite understood what the Sanctuary’s leader’s request implied. The look on Negan’s face, though, gives him all the indications he needed: he wasn’t stupid, far from it, but he thought having multiple wifes gave Negan all the sexy time he required to satisfy his needs.

“Come to my room at sunset, it will be fun, I promise.”

Eugene shyly nods and looks down, hands fidgeting nervously in front of him. Negan smiles before turning back and returning inside the Sanctuary. Survive at all cost was always Eugene’s motto, but it seems like this night will be particularly rough if he have to behave while Negan is having his “fun” with him. Men aren’t exactly Eugene’s thing and he naively hoped it wasn’t Negan’s thing neither, considering how many wifes the leader has. Eugene decided to focus on the work at hand and he returns to supervise the worker pouring melted metal on the walkers, pushing Negan’s promise in the back of his head, trying to forget about it for as long as possible.

Eugene waited until it started to get dark to go to Negan’s room. It was probably later than what his leader expected, but the engineer planned to blame the workers for it. With a little luck, Negan would had ask one of his wife to satisfy him instead of waiting for his doctor Smartypants. Eugene force himself to think positive. Maybe Negan wasn’t going to do THAT, maybe he just wanted to talk?

When the door opened, all his hopes vanished. Negan was standing there, wearing only a white bathrobe, freshly shaved and his hair still wet. Negan flashed his signature smirk.

“Well well… I almost waited for you!”

He invited Eugene into the room and closed the door behind him. Breathing heavily and shaking, Eugene tried to look anywhere but the bed, Negan or Lucille resting against the night stand. He stutters nervously as Negan come near him, breathing right next to his ear.

“You… you got nice… nice windows curtains…”

He could swear Negan smelt him.

“I didn’t ask you to come here to talk about the fucking curtains, you know?”

Eugene nods. The older man go sit on his bed, lightly tapping the space by his side.

“Come… sit.”

Eugene did just as he was told: he awkwardly sat next to Negan, stiff and uncomfortable, trying to look anywhere but at the leader. The reality of his situation just started to weight on him, but he still tries to think about something else. He could feel Negan staring at him and from the corner of his eyes, he saw the man lick his lips, smiling. Negan was a wolf and Eugene was a poor little sheep, far away from his shepherd.

“You remind me of Lucille.” says Negan as he rubs his hand up Eugene’s thigh. “She was quite on the heavy side too, and that’s why I was so unfaithful to her, but I really loved her with all my fucking heart, you know?”

Eugene shivers when he feels Negan’s hand brushing against the bulge in the front of his pants. He gulps loudly and looks away. His body was betraying him, reacting on his own despite the fact he was clearly more interested in tiny waist and big boobs than muscled, hairy masculine body.

“I didn’t know that…”

Negan gently pushes Eugene to lie down on the bed and the engineer shut his eyes tightly as he lets the leader kneel between his legs. He was stiff and trembling, like if he was waiting for a meeting with Lucille.

“Are you afraid, Dr. Smartypants?” Negan’s hot breath against his face made Eugene shivers.

“I’m… just nervous…”

“First time with a man?” That idea seems to enjoy Negan. “Don’t worry,” he said, leaning down to whisper in his new recruit ear, “I will be veeeery good with you.”

Eugene couldn’t help but whimper. Negan’s hands got to work and start undressing the man he had recently kidnapped from Rick’s group, like he was some sort of reward hard earned. To Eugene’s surprise, the big bad wolf wasn’t rough like he imagined him to be: he didn’t rip off his clothes or bite his collarbone, tugging at his pants violently. No, nothing like that. Negan was nice and almost lovingly kisses his neck, hands gently unbuttoning his shirt before caressing his skin, slowly making their way to Eugene’s waist to undo his pant and capture his pouty lips in a passionate kiss. He was treating him like his wife… except for the additional parts between his legs, of course.

Once Eugene was completely naked, Negan sat on his heels to take a good look at him. Eugene's hands raised to his face, but only to cover his mouth: he keeps looking at Negan anxiously, trying not to cry in shame. He was hard and leaking thanks to his inexperience and Negan’s gentle touch. He didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, considering the situation. Negan licks his lips and grips the love handles at his captive's hips.

"You might be a man, but damn you got some pretty hot curves and your butt... wow! I always hated to admit it to my wife, but I loved her big fat butt!"

Eugene lets out a strangle whine. He didn’t know if he had to say ‘thank you’ or stay quiet. He didn’t have time to decide, Negan was lightly tapping his thigh.

"Come on now, turn around. Show me your lovely bottom."

Reluctantly, Eugene did as told. Never in his life was he so embarrassed. Kneeling in the bed, face buried in the pillow, arse presented to Negan like he was some sort of eager whore, Eugene was trying really hard to think about pretty girls when the leader starts caressing his rear. The fake doctor was grateful Negan didn’t ask him to touch or even suck him. Just the idea of putting male genitals inside his mouth makes him nauseous. Still, the worse was to come. He can hardly understand what part of him remind Negan of a woman, but he guess it doesn’t really looks different from behind if he doesn’t look between his legs; he was not the hairy type, unlike Abraham.

"I wish my wife would have let me put it in her butt before she died. Man to man, I'm sure you understand."

Eugene was bright red and had trouble answering Negan: his touch starved body was quite fond of the leader’s soft caresses and it hurt his pride more than what he was comfortable with.

"That's... that’s not something I really thought about..."

Negan finally let go of Eugene’s butt and sighs.

"Oh... well, I'm telling you, you were missing something."

He shivers when he heard a bottle cap open: lube. Eugene hissed through clenched teeth when he felt Negan’s wet fingers pushing against his asshole. It didn’t burn as much as he thought, but he deeply regrets coming here sober.

“Damn you’re tight!”

Eugene whimpers softly, feeling Negan’s rough hand griping his buttcheek. He tries not to make too much noise; he didn’t want to make Negan mad. Suddenly, Negan’s fingers brushed against a spot inside him and electric jolt of pleasure shot through Eugene, making him moan before he bites his lower lip to shut himself. Negan smiles as he watches the doctor squirms under his touch. The embarrassment clearly visible on Eugene’s face amused Negan.

“My my…” Negan purred, visibly pleased. “That little moan was fucking adorable. I wonder if I can make you do that sound again?”

While Negan was relentlessly rubbing that soft spot over and over again, Eugene was weighing the pros and cons of letting his voice out.

Pros: Negan will like that and it will probably make things end faster.

Cons: He won’t ever get his pride back again

His mind was going blank. He barely felt the pain anymore, just jolts of pleasure crashing down his body, and he decides to let go. The pillow muffles his moans, but he knew Negan was delighted to listen to him.

“That’s good baby… Nothing wrong in enjoying it, doesn’t it?” Negan practically coos.

A brief sigh of relief left Eugene when Negan pulls out his fingers, but he tenses again when he felt something way bigger at his entrance. Without a single warning, the leader pushes his cock inside the engineer in one go. Eugene yelps loudly. That burned damn hell lot more than the fingers. The older man stayed very still, hushing softly to calm down his precious doctor. Slowly, the pain lessens as Eugene get used to Negan’s girth. After giving him a few minutes, which was very generous knowing the man, he started to rock his hips, quickly picking up pace. It wasn’t long before Negan hit that sweet place inside Eugene, making him see stars despite the situation.

“Come on sweetheart,” says Negan as he pulls on Eugene’s hair to raise his face from the pillow, “I want to hear your voice again.”

Even if he didn’t really wanted to, Eugene couldn’t keep quiet no more. He hated himself for that, even more when he felt his erection brushes against the bed. Negan gave him a hard slap on the ass.

“Damn you feel good baby! Tell me how much you like it!” His voice was deep and husky, clearly lost in his ‘wife’ fantasy. Eugene opened his mouth to reply, but he wasn’t able to think about something to say. How should he respond to that? The only thing he was able to let out was moans and embarrassed squeals.

“Tell me you like my dick baby! Come on don’t be shy!”

Eugene gulps loudly and tries to keep his voice from quivering as he obeys, hoping it would speed up thing.

“I… I like your dick…”

“Louder!”

“I like your dick!”

Negan groans loudly and Eugene keeps repeating it again and again. The warm feeling in his lower stomach worried him; he couldn’t help it but feel his climax near, his toes curling and he wasn’t able to talk anymore. Negan was delighted to feel his captive clench around his cock and Eugene felt his pride slip away, gone forever.

“Ah damn… Lucille…”

The sanctuary’s leader groans the name of his wife as he empties himself inside the younger man trembling under him. Eugene tried to catch his breath before he sits up. It was finally over and all he wants now was to take a burning hot shower.

Negan lies down in his bed, looking at Eugene with a satisfied grin on his face.

“That was good. Best fuck in a while, to be honest.”

Eugene nods shyly.

“It’s late. You should get some rest…”

Once again, Eugene nods without a word and get up, eager to leave. He froze in horror when he felt something wet dripping down his thighs: Negan’s cum. He quickly picks up his clothes, dresses up and left in a hurry. That shower is going to burn his skin down to his soul.

@mortifilia

#negan x eugene #eugene porter #eugene twd #twd negan

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maximuswolf · 4 years ago

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what exactly DO i have to ''THanK GoD'' for? via /r/atheism

what exactly DO i have to ''THanK GoD'' for?

when i was born, my parents had been trying for years. finally they have me, and oh boy am i a treat. i came out early, and almost suffocated whilst being born. ''ThAnK GoD'' they say, as if the doctors had not just spent multiple fucking hours working non stop to assure my mother could safely birth me. skip forward a few years, and i start acting up. more than most kids do. surprise, surprise! I have ADD and Severe anger issues, (mixed with a hearty serving of depression) but guess what? that's ok! because ''God mAdE Me spEcIAl!11'' so after a few years of my innocence still being intact, my parents send me off to school. a christian school. and oh boy was that fun. nothing like indoctrinating children before they can make conscious decisions! and you know what the worst part was? that i believed it. because that false belief would be one of the pillars of my life that would cause me to crumble. my parents thought they were doing the right thing, but in a way, that decision, the one i couldn't make would be the decision that led to my mental collapse. i was taught about how people of the same gender loving each other is a BIG no-no (spoiler alert: this will come in to play later on) and how if you don't believe in god, you go to burn in hell for eternity! because nothing says comforting children like telling them that if they are different that they will die horribly! but we were safe because, ''GoD madE Us In hIs iMaGe!1!'' skip forward another few years, and I'm into elementary school, public school. but the thing is, it turns out sculpting your impressionable child can lead to your child being a dick. because since i was taught to ''SpReAD GoDs WorD!'' i did. i told asked a friend whose mother had died if she believed in jesus. she did not. so naturally, i tell her that her sweet, precious mom is burning in hell in horrible agony, and that it's her fault she is there. i never told my parents that one, because it ate away at me for so long I tried to forget. than, around 3rd grade, i developed the thing that usually ruins everyone's life. a conscious and awareness. now, one of the things that came with my ADD is tics. so i would make sudden noises, and, naturally, since America knows jackshit about mental health, i was yelled at and called a freak. ''why would god make me this way?'' i would think. ''i thought i was perfect?'' haha NOPE. soon, school became hell. everyday i would come into class, get bullied, but push it down because i know at least GOD loves me, right? soon, it was too much for me. and i fought back. and you know what? im the one who got punished. and do you know what i was told when i got home from school that day? that god didn't make like this. BAM. shot to the heart. everything i thought was true, all of the relief that god loved me, and so I must be ok, were shattered. if god didn't make this way then why cant i control it? i began to lash out more. and my brain began to be affected even worse, my anxiety so bad i would hide in a corner crying all day. only to go to church the next sunday and be told how great god is, how he designs everyone in his image. which made me realize something. he made me like this. but if he made me like this, why is that bad? why does everyone hate me? why do i hate me? and i guess that was the point i was done. i had had enough. i became more reclusive, so angry that i was sent to a new school. a school for children with mental issues. or, as the church called it ''UnIquE GiFtS!!!1!'' everyday i thought about how i was like this, and that i was wrong. it wasn't my fault, but i was. and one day, i got so angry, so tired of the same thing, that i beat up my bus driver. and that was when i was sent to children's hospital. seeing my parents at the door, so disappointed in me, even though i wished desperately to know what i did wrong, what I did to make god punish me like this. and at night i would cry. i would lay in bed, looking out the window and that night, that night i had had enough. i cursed god out, i held him responsible for every terrible thing ive been through, i begged to know why he made me like this, if i was a mistake? will this be my entire future? living in pain, and betrayal? after children's i refused to go to church. and so i also refused to go to school, losing myself in creative outlets like minecraft and drawing, making a world where i wasn't hated. where I didn't hate myself. but you see, this was the mid 2010's, and kindle fire dont have a whole lot of storage space, so when my kindle inevitably crashed, i was destroyed. the world i had built for myself, the place i could be me was gone. it was like god had taken my life a second time. but hey! dont be sad! it's ''AlL In GoDs PlAn'' thats the problem. i dont want it to be part of god's plan, i want it to be part of MY plan. fast forward a year later, and im in middle school. and that's when i met billy. billy was a jock, a real ladies man, very athletic, toned, and well built, and when i was around him, i felt something. something i had never felt with a girl before. and so one week later, i went to church, and at church i asked my pastor about those feelings. he told me i was sick. that i what i was feeling was not of ''GoDs dESiGn'' and that i needed to try to change. so, i befreinded a girl, cera. cera also had a rough past, arguably worse than mine. her father was abusive, and her mother could do nothing to stop him. and one day, cera's mom, the only light she had left, died in front of her. had an aneurism, and fell to the ground dead. and guess what? she was put into the care of her father. i have never seen a person so angry, so completley shattered. she tried to jump into traffic. she ran and i begged her not to hurt herself. and than i watched a Mercedes Benz drive on the street across us. and i noticed a confederate flag on the bumper. how come someone so awful and immoral gets to have money? whilst cera, an innocent child who had her life robbed of her, got nothing? why would a ''gracious'' god do that? he wouldn't. because there is no god. and later that week, as i was sitting in my bathtub, a thought came to mind. trickling down my spine as i looked at the pair of scissors on the counter. it would be easy, just slide the blade across my wrists and with my artery cut, i would be free in moments. i would never have to feel this again. but my family loved me. and i loved them, because they really did. they only wanted what's best for me, so i didnt. i got out, and cried in my bed for hours. that brings us to the next week, im watching HGTV with my sister and mom in the family room, and i made a mistake. one of the people on tv was very attractive. so i said, without thinking, ''damn he's sexy'' cue my sister turning her head like that old meme of the groundhog, and immediately blurting out to my mom what i said. i was expecting hell, but she embraced me. finally, something was right. but god still said it was wrong, and my whole family is Christian. I'm 17 now, ive come out to most of my family. and i know they still love me. but deep down, i know that they think of me as unnatural according to their beliefs. and i have to live with that. and i also have to live not knowing what terrible chapter of my life will come next. so yeah, here i am, in online school, doing 1000x better than i ever have! my life is neutral right now. and I'm content. but one thing is for sure, if god IS real. he is NOT a good god. anyways, thanks for listening to my rant, and i hope your journey continues well!

Submitted February 01, 2021 at 01:51AM by leakytoquito via reddit https://ift.tt/3ovrT2g

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darnedchild · 8 years ago

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Sherlolly Appreciation Week 2017 - Day Seven

A/N: I was stuck for an idea for today’s fic, so @lilsherlockian1975 very kindly gave me one. “Molly and Sherlock running into Wiggins - he's all smug because 'he knew it!' (maybe because an all drugged up Sherlock spoke very highly of his pathologist and her perky little t*ts”. I modified the prompt a tiny bit. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, there is a tiny bit of naughty language in this one. Unbeta’d.

It’s not my best work, but I only had three hours to knock it out if I wanted to get it done today so . . .

Sherlolly Appreciation Week 2017 – Day Seven (Non-Canon – Free Choice)

Shezza’s Missus

“Sherlock? I know I’m early, but you said it was important that I come over after my shift and Doctor Rich-“ Molly came to a dead stand still in the doorway to Sherlock’s kitchen. She took in the strange man standing in front of the hob stirring something in a pan with a wooden spoon. Whatever was in the pan smelled absolutely lovely, some kind of mouth-watering curry. But still . . . “You’re not Sherlock.”

“Hullo, Missus. Home early?” He brought the spoon up to his mouth, tasted the sauce, and grimaced. His hand hovered over a row of spice jars before snatching one up and shaking a sprinkle of seasoning into the pan; then he shrugged and shook the jar twice more. “Curry powder. I told him the sauce was too bland the way he’d done it, but Shezza insisted on following the recipe to the letter.” The man winked at her over his shoulder. “I won’t tell him we gave it a bit of a tweak if you don’t.”

“I . . . What?” Molly had no idea what was going on. She didn’t think she’d ever even seen Sherlock’s kitchen used to prepare food before. Add to that oddity, the lanky man who seemed to have made himself at home and who appeared to be wearing a frilly pink pinny over his jeans and thread-bare jumper.

He shrugged. “I spent a few weeks crashing in the basement of a tenement across from the best curry place in Southwark. I picked up a few pointers from the bloke who washes the dishes.”

Molly opened her mouth and then shut it. After a moment she tried again. “What?”

“Do you know you keep sayin’ that?” He stirred the sauce one more time, then adjusted the heat to let it simmer. He pulled open the fridge and dug out a bottle of water. “You want one? There’s also wine, but I think that’s meant for the meal.” She shook her head no. He leaned against the fridge door and opened his water.

“I hate to be rude, but where’s Sherlock?” More importantly, had he been murdered and cut up for curry by a strange madman?

Molly considered that she should probably stop marathoning episodes of “Hannibal” on DVD if that was the sort of thing that wasn’t going to come to mind whenever she was confronted with something out of the norm.

“Took Mrs H to A&E.” At her alarmed look he rushed to reassure her. “Just twisted her ankle. Tripped over the rug.” He nodded toward the sitting room and Molly finally noticed how clean and neat everything was. Papers, magazines, and books had been carefully stacked and shifted out of the way. The top of Sherlock’s dining table/desk had been cleared and set with two place settings, complete with wine glasses.

She turned back to the scruffy man in the pinny again, searching his features because something about him seemed vaguely familiar. “I’m sorry, have we met?”

He nodded. “You could say that; although we weren’t formerly introduced at the time. Wiggins. Bill Wiggins. At your service.”

The memory came to her. The day John and Mary had brought Sherlock to Barts for a drug test. “Not the best of circumstances for a first meeting, was it?” She sheepishly smiled. “I’m Molly Hooper.”

“I know who you are, Missus. I’ve heard all about you. Shezza was always going on about Molly this, Molly that when he was . . . indisposed last summer.”

Indisposed last summer? He must have meant when Sherlock was high off his arse during the Culverton Smith case. “Oh! You’re Billy! The one who-“

“Kept him from OD’ing,” Bill supplied. He met her eyes, posture stiff and expectant as if he was waiting for her to rail at him.

As much as she wanted to, she knew Sherlock well enough to know he would have gone ahead with his plan whether or not someone was there to monitor his usage. Molly pulled out one of the kitchen chairs. This was beginning to feel like a “make yourself comfortable, it’s going to be a long night” sort of situation. “Yes, well. Thank you for that, in case Sherlock never got around to saying it.”

A flash of surprise washed across Bill’s face, then disappeared as quickly as it came. He nodded and turned back to the hob. “You like curry chicken, Missus?”

“Yeah, it’s one of my favourites, actually.” Bill nodded as if that was exactly the answer he’d been expecting. Her gaze was drawn to the intimate set up on the dining table again, and a small blossom of hope bloomed in her chest. “Do you know, uhm, do you have any idea why Sherlock asked me to come over tonight?”

He hadn’t said in the text, just asked her to come to Baker Street and that it was very important.

She and Sherlock had only spoken a handful of times since the infamous phone call. The first time had been less than twelve hours after he’d nearly destroyed her, and he’d explained the entire thing – his sister, the island prison, the tests, and the reason for making her say what she’d said. Clearly, she’d meant the words, and he had assured her that he’d meant his as well . . . and that was where they’d stalled. He’d actually stood up, said “I’m glad we’ve got that settled then”, leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, and left. He never brought any of it up again, actually going so far as looking a bit panicked anytime Molly came near him during the last two weeks; and Molly hadn’t managed to get him alone, and she was certainly not going to bring it up while Greg or John were listening.

“Dinner.”

That much was obvious. She was hoping for a slightly more informative answer.

He shrugged and continued adding chicken to the curry sauce. “Then a good shag, I would guess. Gotta break in the new furniture sometime, right?”

Molly choked hard enough that Bill dropped the spoon and grabbed another bottle of water out of the fridge for her. “You all right, Missus?”

She caught her breath and drank some of the water to ease the burn in her throat. “I don’t think I heard you correctly. Did you say ‘shag’?”

“Sorry. That was rude, what’n’it. Make love, then.”

“We don’t-we aren’t . . .” Molly sputtered. “I think you’re a bit confused. Sherlock isn’t interested in that sort of thing with me. Maybe you’re thinking of one of his past girlfriends. Janine or-or-Why are you shaking your head?”

Bill waved the spoon in her direction. “Definitely you, Missus. He’s been wanting to get into your knickers for ages. I figured it was only a matter of time. He used to say ‘smart really is the new sexy’ and then laugh and start talkin’ about his Molly’s perky little tits.”

She choked again.

“One night he just kept going on and on about your arse and how perfect it was. Couldn’t get him to stop, actually. Said it was just right for-“

“All right, Billy, that’s enough!” Sherlock’s voice drowned out the rest of Bill’s sentence.

Molly stared at Sherlock standing in the kitchen doorway, still wearing his Belstaff and scarf.

“Curry should be done in another ten minutes, kept an eye on it like I promised. Even entertained the Missus while you were out.” Bill grinned.

“I noticed.” Sherlock sighed and reached up to pull off his scarf. “I can take it from here, if you would be so kind as to bugger off.”

“If you’re sure?” Bill snickered when Sherlock sent a glare his direction. “Right then, I’m off.” He slipped the pinny over his head and folded it up, dropping it on the counter. “Make sure that gets back to Mrs H or she’ll have my head. Night, Sherlock. Missus.”

Molly nodded, then held out her hand to stop him from leaving. “Why do you keep calling me that. Missus, I mean?”

“Cause that’s what you are. Shezza’s Missus. Everyone knows that.”

Sherlock reappeared after hanging up his coat. “Billy, don’t you have somewhere—anywhere—to be? Now.” he rumbled in warning.

She let Bill leave.

Sherlock clear his throat and nodded toward the dining table in the sitting room. “So, dinner?”

“Dinner sounds lovely.”

He released a deep breath, obviously relieved that she was willing to stay.

“Or-“ Molly stood and moved to the hob. She turned the heat off and moved the pan to a different ring. “Or we could skip right to the shagging. Bill pointed out that you’ve got quite a lot of new furniture to break in.” She bit her lower lip and waited to see how Sherlock was going to react.

He blinked several times, enough times to make her start to worry. He came out of it and cleared his throat. “Billy is a wise man with a very valid point.”

#sherlollyweek2017

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howtoloseweightfastsafely · 6 years ago

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If You Want Maximum Results In Minimum Time, You're Going To Have To Work Out (And Workout Hard, At That)

The simple strategies I've outlined so far (diet and some walking) will help make a significant change in your body weight, and you can definitely lose 10-20 pounds in the first month alone depending on your body size.

Add in structured workouts to this (like the workouts listed in the "6 Weeks to Lean" guide), and you lose even more weight and look even more amazing.

You see, besides having adequate protein intake on a diet, the only equally important (or even, more important) factor for body composition is the amount of training.

And just about all of us want optimal body composition.

We want to strip off fat, and leave a lean, toned physique in its place.

We want to a chiseled body that turns heads even with a shirt on.

We want to be bursting with confidence, happiness, and even an "odd" sense of power, knowing that we've transformed our body in a manner that 95% of the population is unable to do.

And to do this fast, we have to introduce a stimulus that demolished pesky fat, while forcing our muscles to grow strong and lean.

The hands-down, best way to do this is to resistance train for 45 minutes or so, 3x per week, with a mix of weights and bodyweight.

We want to be intense in these workouts, so our body gets that "kick in the pants" to get that burn off fat and build muscle.

And when this is combined with a steady diet, daily herbs, and toxin reduction, you will notice a never-before-seen level of fat loss and body re-composition.

I recommend anyone new to working out starts with bodyweight circuits for the 1st month, a mix of bodyweight and free weights (dumbbells, barbells, kettle-bells) for the 2nd month, and all free weights for the 3rd month.

(All workouts are provided in the accompanying workout guide).

This will help build lean, toned muscle and strength (and to maintain bone density), while letting the body acclimate to the training load (and thereby avoiding injuries).

Moving on after Month 3, I find that an upper/lower body split is best. This sort of "split" basically means we will do all upper body work one day, and lower body work another day. At this point in our progress, we'll be used to training and we can safely step it up to 4x per week of workouts, on a reduced-calorie diet, without compromising recovery.

For maximum results, do NOT do most of the "magazine workouts" you see in the store or online. These are very-advanced 5-day body-part split routines, in which you do 20 sets a day for your chest or back or quads, etc. They are very often written by steroid-using bodybuilders and it's simply stupid for anyone who's not on drugs to try these workouts and expect to not over-train. Also, these workouts are very often based on isolation exercises, which use only 1 primary muscle/joint.

On the other hand, when we use compound movements, we use several muscle groups at once and use 2 or more joints. In doing so, we have a much higher calorie burn, which means shorter workouts, lower insulin resistance, and quicker and easier fat loss.

The best compound movements for maximum fat loss in minimum time are squats, lunges, chin-ups/ pull-ups, dead-lifts, rows, shoulder/military presses, and chest presses.

The only caveat here is some of these exercises take some dedicated practice to do correctly.

Most people doing these in the gym (seriously about 90% or so) do them incorrectly and can get injured as a result. This is why the warm-ups I've written out for you in the workout guide are crucial to make sure your muscle and central nervous system are ready for the oncoming load, and that they won't fail or get injured under pressure.

Before we continue, I have an important note for women:

I promise, you will not get super bulky and "huge" lifting weights.

You can only get "huge" by eating at a daily calorie surplus, lifting consistently for years, and often using steroids or performance-enhancing drugs (like many pro bodybuilders and even cover models do). But since you'll be in a calorie deficit, weights will actually make the difference by maintaining chiseled muscle, stripping off fat fast, enhancing your curves, and revealing a sexy, trim physique.

Now back to our scheduled programming.

Fast fat loss comes... by staying mostly within 6-12 repetitions per set of weight workouts. This is where you will have optimal muscle hypertrophy (growth) while also stimulating fat loss. By doing these via "circuit training" as outlined in the workout guide, you'll put an extra level of fat-burning stimulus on the body (and you will see crazy results.)

As for other rep ranges

The 3-6 rep range is OK occasionally, but it is more on the power/strength training side. This is good for reverse pyramid training, and other techniques, but is not required.

Above 12 reps does not automatically get you "cut" or "lean". That is B.S. magazine advice that simply does not give your muscle enough stimuli to grow strong and stay lean. And if the stimulus on your muscles isn't great enough on a diet, where do you think the body will go first for energy?

- The only time high reps are OK is during a temporary month or so when you're looking for an added "pump". This pump can definitely be helpful for muscle growth, assuming that the months surrounding this high-rep phase has workouts done under 12 reps.

In the 6 Weeks to Lean Guide, the optional month-by-month program has Month 3, 6, and 9 as high-rep, pump months. All surrounding months, though, are in lower ranges.

- Otherwise, if you go above 12 reps month after month after month...

You will steadily be using lower weights to accommodate high reps.

Very low weights mean low "load" on the muscles.

Low load means the body realizes the muscles aren't being used a lot, and see no reason to hold onto them (especially when the body is already low on energy due to a reduced-calorie diet)

If you'd like, keep up cardio as a replacement for some weight days, but not all (so you maintain lean muscle).

When I do cardio, I'll either do it on off days for 20-30 minutes or do it for 15-20 minutes after a weight training workout. I also recommend walking 20-30 minutes a day, on off-days.

DO NOT DO THIS: Cardio at moderate to high intensity for more than 45-60 minutes. This is one of the main causes of cortisol output (the "stress hormone"). This catabolic hormone, as we've discussed in previous chapters, is disastrous to our muscle and actually can cause fat to be stored, particularly around the midsection.

Interested in losing weight? Then click below to see the exact steps I took to lose weight and keep it off for good...

Read the previous article about "Maximum Fat Loss in Minimum Time: The Body Type Solution To Quick, Lasting Results"

Read the next article about "Food planning for maximum fat loss in minimum time"

Moving forward, there are several other articles/topics I'll share so you can lose weight even faster and feel great doing it.

Below is a list of these topics and you can use this Table of Contents to jump to the part that interests you the most.

Topic 1: How I Lost 30 Pounds In 90 Days - And How You Can Too

Topic 2: How I Lost Weight By Not Following The Mainstream Media And Health Guru's Advice - Why The Health Industry Is Broken And How We Can Fix It

Topic 3: The #1 Ridiculous Diet Myth Pushed By 95% Of Doctors And "experts" That Is Keeping You From The Body Of Your Dreams

Topic 4: The Dangers of Low-Carb and Other "No Calorie Counting" Diets

Topic 5: Why Red Meat May Be Good For You And Eggs Won't Kill You

Topic 6: Two Critical Hormones That Are Quietly Making Americans Sicker and Heavier Than Ever Before

Topic 7: Everything Popular Is Wrong: The Real Key To Long-Term Weight Loss

Topic 8: Why That New Miracle Diet Isn't So Much of a Miracle After All (And Why You're Guaranteed To Hate Yourself On It Sooner or Later)

Topic 9: A Nutrition Crash Course To Build A Healthy Body and Happy Mind

Topic 10: How Much You Really Need To Eat For Steady Fat Loss (The Truth About Calories and Macronutrients)

Topic 11: The Easy Way To Determining Your Calorie Intake

Topic 12: Calculating A Weight Loss Deficit

Topic 13: How To Determine Your Optimal "Macros" (And How The Skinny On The 3-Phase Extreme Fat Loss Formula)

Topic 14: Two Dangerous "Invisible Thorn" Foods Masquerading as "Heart Healthy Super Nutrients"

Topic 15: The Truth About Whole Grains And Beans: What Traditional Cultures Know About These So-called "Healthy Foods" That Most Americans Don't

Topic 16: The Inflammation-Reducing, Immune-Fortifying Secret of All Long-Living Cultures (This 3-Step Process Can Reduce Chronic Pain and Heal Your Gut in Less Than 24 Hours)

Topic 17: The Foolproof Immune-enhancing Plan That Cleanses And Purifies Your Body, While "patching Up" Holes, Gaps, And Inefficiencies In Your Digestive System (And How To Do It Without Wasting $10+ Per "meal" On Ridiculous Juice Cleanses)

Topic 18: The Great Soy Myth (and The Truth About Soy in Eastern Asia)

Topic 19: How Chemicals In Food Make Us Fat (Plus 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply)

Topic 20: 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply

Topic 21: How To Protect Yourself Against Chronic Inflammation (What Time Magazine Calls A "Secret Killer")

Topic 22: The Truth About Buying Organic: Secrets The Health Food Industry Doesn't Want You To Know

Topic 23: Choosing High Quality Foods

Topic 24: A Recipe For Rapid Aging: The "Hidden" Compounds Stealing Your Youth, Minute by Minute

Topic 25: 7 Steps To Reduce AGEs and Slow Aging

Topic 26: The 10-second Trick That Can Slash Your Risk Of Cardiovascular Mortality By 37% (Most Traditional Cultures Have Done This For Centuries, But The Pharmaceutical Industry Would Be Up In Arms If More Modern-day Americans Knew About It)

Topic 27: How To Clean Up Your Liver and Vital Organs

Topic 28: The Simple Detox 'Cheat Sheet': How To Easily and Properly Cleanse, Nourish, and Rid Your Body of Dangerous Toxins (and Build a Lean Well-Oiled "Machine" in the Process)

Topic 29: How To Deal With the "Stress Hormone" Before It Deals With You

Topic 30: 7 Common Sense Ways to Have Uncommon Peace of Mind (or How To Stop Your "Stress Hormone" In Its Tracks)

Topic 31: How To Sleep Like A Baby (And Wake Up Feeling Like A Boss)

Topic 32: The 8-step Formula That Finally "fixes" Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested (If You Ever Find Yourself Hitting The Snooze Every Morning Or Dozing Off At Work, These Steps Will Change Your Life Forever)

Topic 33: For Even Better Leg Up And/or See Faster Results In Fixing Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested, Do The Following:

Topic 34: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 35: Part 1 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 36: Part 2 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 37: Part 3 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 38: Part 4 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 39: How To Beat Your Mental Roadblocks And Why It Can Be The Difference Between A Happy, Satisfying Life And A Sad, Fearful Existence (These Strategies Will Reduce Stress, Increase Productivity And Show You How To Fulfill All Your Dreams)

Topic 40: Maximum Fat Loss in Minimum Time: The Body Type Solution To Quick, Lasting Results

Topic 41: If You Want Maximum Results In Minimum Time You're Going To Have To Work Out (And Workout Hard, At That)

Topic 42: Food Planning For Maximum Fat Loss In Minimum Time

Topic 43: How To Lose Weight Fast If You're in Chronic Pain

Topic 44: Nutrition Basics for Fast Pain Relief (and Weight Loss)

Topic 45: How To Track Results (And Not Fall Into the Trap That Ruins 95% of Well-Thought Out Diets)

Topic 46: Advanced Fat Loss - Calorie Cycling, Carb Cycling and Intermittent Fasting

Topic 47: Advanced Fat Loss - Part I: Calorie Cycling

Topic 48: Advanced Fat Loss - Part II: Carb Cycling

Topic 49: Advanced Fat Loss - Part III: Intermittent Fasting

Topic 50: Putting It All Together

Learn more by visiting our website here: invigoratenow.com

#weightloss #diet

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howtoloseweightfastsafely · 6 years ago

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Maximum Fat Loss in Minimum Time: The Body Type Solution To Quick, Lasting Results

Good news.

You're not imagining things.

Some people have it way easier when it comes to weight loss. And some people have it way easier when it comes to muscle building, or maintaining weight.

Some people are naturally skinny, naturally heavier and naturally muscular, and some have naturally fast metabolisms.

You see, there are actually 3 distinct human body types, and there are various genetics that play a role in our body's shapes and processes.

These varying body types and genetic backgrounds end up playing a major role in whether it's difficult or easy to lose fat and gain muscle.

Here are the 3 types:

Type 1 - Ectomorphs: We've all met someone like this. Ectomorphs are naturally thin, agile and often tall, lanky people. These are the guys and gals who, no matter how much or little they eat, seem to gain no weight at all.

Type 2 - Endomorphs: These are the guys and girls whose bodies are extraordinarily skilled at storing fat, and have the hardest time keeping weight off. (Most overweight/obese types, myself included, are natural endomorphs.)

Type 3 - Mesomorphs: Mesomorphs naturally maintain a larger muscle mass. For these "blessed" types, fat loss is easy, and muscle gain is quick. They tend to be more athletic than the majority of people, but not necessarily thin.

The good news is that no one is "stuck" because of their body type.

Endomorphs can become thin, and ectomorphs can become muscular. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to learn/understand our body type. In doing so, we can help custom tailor a diet and exercise routine that provide the best results in the shortest amount of time.

If You're an Ectomorph (Carb Type):

A lot of people think being an ectomorph is a great thing due to the fast metabolism and natural "skinny-ness". But if you're an actual ectomorph, you know you have tons of trouble gaining weight and building muscle.

Anyone who eats an excess of calories can gain weight (and build muscle when the diet is complemented by exercise), but ectomorphs often have to eat specific high-calorie foods (generally starchy carbs) or their body just won't stay hungry enough to be able to ingest a substantial amount of calories.

Due to their higher carb tolerance, ectomorphs are often called "carb types".

The genetic elements that make ectomorphs thin are the same that make weight-gain and musclebuilding difficult. As a result, the genetic makeup severely limits the amount of muscle your body can maintain. So you can build muscle, but you're unlikely to ever look like Arnold Schwarzenegger (unless you are rigorous with your dietary intake, day in and day out, year after year).

Ectomorph Stats:

Best results when eating higher carbs, moderate protein, and low fat

55% Carbs, 25% Protein, 20% Fat

Start at these numbers, and decrease calories gradually to burn fat.

If fat loss is slowing, reduce calories by 5% every two weeks. It's best to reduce this percentage from carbs, but reducing from protein or fat usually works just as well for ectomorphs

Never go below 15% or above 35% of fat as a percentage of calories.

If You're an Endomorph (Protein Type):

Endomorphs are naturally heavier people who will always be a little bit thicker and "pudgier" than ectomorphs or mesomorphs. This is generally attributed to their sluggish metabolism.

BUT, that doesn't mean they can't be sexy! Some of the most famous - and beautiful - people in the world are endomorphs.

Russell Crowe, Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce are all physically fit natural endomorphs, and there's nothing wrong with the way they look. (Seriously, we all know "Jlo" and Beyonce are HOT, and the little extra junk in the trunk definitely doesn't hurt!). If anything, they've just had to work a little harder than their counterparts to maintain a body size/shape that they're happy with.

If your goal is to have a low body fat percentage, you can definitely do it, but you've got your work cut out for you.

Endomorphs are often called "protein types" due to their lower carb tolerance and higher protein needs for successful body re-composition.

Endomorph Stats:

25% Carbs, 25-35% Protein, 40-50% Fat

Start with a much lower level of carbs. The 25% mentioned is a great "maintenance" point, once insulin resistance/leptin resistance/inflammation and other issues are handled.

I recommend starting at 50-75 grams of carbs per day - this will be low carb, but above the ketogenic threshold. When combined with adequate protein, your body will have a sufficient amount of natural glucose.

Do not stay in the 50-75 carb range for more than 12 weeks at a time, without a 2-week break with higher carb intake.

In the long-term, for maintenance and/or during heavy exercise phases, I would keep around 25% (and a maximum of 30%) of carbs as a percentage of calories.

If You're a Mesomorph (Mixed Type):

Congratulations! You swim in the deeper end of the gene pool. You have the body type of the best fitness models and bodybuilders in the world.

You have a great metabolism, great bones, you're naturally lean (not skinny, like an ectomorph) and naturally muscular (not "thick" like an endomorph.)

If you're a mesomorph, you're probably not reading too many books on how to lose weight - after all, if you keep up even a modicum of exercise and diet, you've got a body most of the rest of us would kill for.

However, there are, in fact, mesomorphs out there struggling with their weight because of the typical American diet. Take this to heart. You don't have to work anywhere near as hard as ectomorphs and endomorphs to get the body of your dreams, but if you're a few pounds above where you want to be, you'll have to put in some effort!

Mesomorph Stats

Body shape - Wide shoulders, narrow hips, muscular body/low body fat, square jaw

Examples - Michael Jordan, Madonna, George Clooney, Halle Berry

Dietary/Hormonal Points - fast metabolism and great nutrient partitioning; strong levels of testosterone and growth hormone; unhealthy foods may not cause subcutaneous (visible/under the skin fat), but can quickly cause visceral, "hidden" fat surrounding the vital organs

When decreasing calories, start by cutting carbs. In the long-run, though, mesomorphs can get by with cutting calories from any source.

Interested in losing weight? Then click below to see the exact steps I took to lose weight and keep it off for good...

Read the previous article about "How to beat your mental roadblocks and why it can be the difference between a happy, satisfying life and a sad, fearful existence (these strategies will reduce stress, increase productivity"

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