#hashtag stream of consciousness <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[lunaryuwu]

richjake + 18 thank u and goodbye 💙

18. Things you said when you were scared

Rich had been scared many times in his life.

He was scared when his mother died. He was scared when his dad first got violent after. He was still scared to this day when his dad got violent.

He was scared when his brother left the second he could and left him there. Alone.

He was scared when he was taking the squip.

He is scared right now, because his squip is freaking out, and it has never done this before.

Rich didn’t even care if he looked insane to everyone else. He needed that mountain dew red now.

He bumped into Jake in the kitchen, in a frenzy of trying to find mountain dew red there, even though he had already dug through all the cabinets here a few moments ago.

(It’s not like Jake would have vintage soda here either. Why was he even trying? He had seen everything he has here in all the nights he’d stayed over. Rich was scared, he could barely breathe, every breath becoming heavier and inevitably being sucked out of him. Is he dying?)

“Rich? What’s going on?” Jake approached him in slow steps, seeing the delirious state Rich was in.

“I’m dying,” Rich blurted out.

“What? Do you need to go to the hospital? You look sick.”

Rich shook his head, more so to clear his head because his vision was blurring up badly. His lisp was slipping through each word. “Hospital…won’t help.”

“What do you need then?” Jake was staring at Rich with wide eyes. He was scared too. Why? Because Rich looked like a madman right now? With his hair all messy and sweat running down his forehead, panting like he just ran a marathon?

“You don’t have it. No one can help me.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Jake watched Rich cover his face with a sweaty palm, sighing.

“I’m dying,” Rich repeated.

“You’re not, stop saying that.” Jake gripped Rich’s shoulders, shaking him slightly so that he doesn’t pass out or anything.

(Jake was scared. Was Rich having some sort of panic attack? Was he having a stroke? He doesn’t know. He’s scared. What can he do to help? Rich wouldn’t let him call the police. Is he actually dying right now? Jake can’t do anything. His grip on Rich’s shoulders is unnecessarily tight, scared that he would just vanish or fall to the floor, unconscious. He doesn’t want Rich to die. Or leave. Or disappear. He feels terribly helpless right now. His chest hurts at that thought.)

Rich pushed against Jake’s grip. “Let me go. I need to go to the bathroom.”

“I-I’ll come with,” Jake stuttered, not wanting Rich to leave his sight. (Who knows what’ll happen if he was alone? He doesn’t want to find Rich’s unconscious body somewhere in his house.)

“You’re a pervert, Dillinger,” Rich muttered. Jake wanted to scold him for joking at a time like this, but his throat was dry and it hurt more at every word leaving his mouth.

“Don’t….die,” Rich hit his shoulder. (It wasn’t really a hit. His arms feel like spaghetti. Jake notices.) “I love you man.”

(The adrenaline is really hitting Rich right now. He can’t think clearly. He can hear his squip faintly in the back of his mind. He can hear the chatter and loud music of the party just beyond the door. Oh, he’s really dying now. Even if he wasn’t, he kind of wanted to. This hurts. Everything hurts. Are these his last words? If they are, he needs Jake to know.)

“I’m sorry,” Rich muttered. (It’s been a while since he’s heard his lisp. His true voice. The line between the facade his squip set up for him and his true self blurred beyond recognition. He could never separate himself from all the things he did. Oh.)

“What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense. Please-”

Rich pushed Jake away from him. All the strength in him was used in that push. He stumbled backwards and laughed again, trying to act easy. “I’m so drunk, man. I think I might puke. My stomach hurts. That’s what I was talking about.” (He can lie so smoothly now. He was a bad liar before the squip. But he was the embodiment of a lie, wasn’t he? The squip wasn’t controlling him right now, yet he still lies and keeps up that image of him.)

“Rich-” Jake tried to grab his arm. Rich swerved out of the way, masking it as a drunken gesture.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” He lied, again. He left the kitchen, hearing Jake following and calling his name. His voice gets drowned out in the crowd. Rich looked back, but he couldn’t see Jake anymore.

[periodically-puzzled]

wip ask: 3, 6, 17

3. what’s a wip that you’ve procrastinated on the longest? why?

Why, I'm so glad you asked, prime, because I've just updated silence is golden (webbing is silver) for the first time since September! Yeah, that one. That's the one. Because that Peter is such a particular flavor of annoying that it's really hard to get into his head, and even harder to do it without stressing myself out.

My first-person Wade fics are a close second, in terms of both raw exhaustingness-to-write and level of procrastination. (When will gunpowder part three return from the war...)

6. write 3 sentences of any wip you’d like, post it in the answer. 

“You threw your wallet at Peter Parker,” repeats Spider-Man, like he’s a junior high student-teacher and he’s gonna give Wade detention for it or something.

“Hashtag worth-it.”

Spidey reaches into a pocket Wade didn’t even know he had in that skin-tight suit, pulls out Wade’s wallet, and throws it right back at him, hitting him hard in the chest.

17. what do you do to motivate yourself to write?

Motivation's never an issue for me, but I do struggle a lot to get words to show up on the page. I have two polar opposite methods I use to get unstuck when I'm stuck:

I'll free-write. Stream of consciousness, just keep typing forever until something interesting shows up on the page.

I'll work on something extremely specific, and then while I'm inevitably failing to think of what to write for that one tiny thing, a thousand other unrelated ideas will start to pop into my head.

[upbeatpurple]

"Navigating the Currents of Pop Culture: Trends, Influences, and Impact"

In today's fast-paced digital age, pop culture serves as a vibrant reflection of our society, shaping and reflecting our values, interests, and trends. From music and fashion to movies and social media, the ever-evolving landscape of pop culture provides a dynamic tapestry that captures the zeitgeist of our time.

1. Music: The Soundtrack of Our Lives

Music remains a cornerstone of pop culture, influencing generations and bridging cultural gaps. The rise of streaming platforms has revolutionized how we consume music, making it more accessible than ever. Genres collide, and artists push boundaries, creating a diverse and eclectic musical landscape that resonates with a global audience.

2. Movies and Television: Captivating Narratives and Streaming Dominance

The silver screen and television continue to be powerful storytellers, shaping our perspectives and fueling discussions. Streaming services have disrupted traditional viewing habits, allowing for binge-worthy series and instant access to an extensive library of content. The intersection of technology and storytelling has given rise to groundbreaking narratives that captivate audiences worldwide.

3. Fashion: Trends That Shape Identity

Fashion remains a visual language that communicates individual and collective identity. Social media platforms amplify trends, making fashion more democratic and inclusive. Influencers and celebrities wield significant influence, turning everyday styles into global phenomena. The industry's growing emphasis on sustainability and inclusivity reflects a changing cultural consciousness.

4. Social Media: The Connective Tissue of Pop Culture

Social media has transformed the way we engage with pop culture. Platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok provide a stage for trends to emerge, gain momentum, and sometimes fade away in a matter of days. Viral challenges, memes, and hashtag movements contribute to the collective experience, creating a sense of shared culture in the digital realm.

5. Celebrity Culture: Icons, Influencers, and Public Persona

Celebrities play a central role in pop culture, transcending their artistic contributions to become cultural icons. The concept of celebrity has expanded to include social

[dzpenumbra]

1/12/23

I'm eating Ben & Jerry's Dirt Cake ice cream. It's good. :D

Today was pretty heavily dominated by a difficult focal point. I'm noticing that my isolation and social starvation has sent me to social media again. It always seems to, I really don't have a lot of options socially currently. It may seem odd saying this... on a social media platform... but this site has pretty constantly been mostly one-way communication, people don't really interact on here with my stuff. And that's cool, don't get me wrong, I don't mean that passive aggressively, merely factually. My purpose of doing this journal is not affected even remotely by interaction, the purpose is solely to keep my stream-of-consciousness create flow muscles in shape, to therapeutically work through the day's issues and to counteract my own social anxiety by doing this in a public format. By the time I hit Post, my process is done, so... no big there. Anything else is extra.

After the whole thing last week, I haven't really felt cool with my city's subreddit. And reddit as a whole just... most of the conversations are like 80% people I really don't want anything to do with. Like... super judgmental, superficial, egotistical, hedonistic, antisocial people. Just not the kind of people I want to be hanging out with. And reddit has had by far the most ridiculously heinous ads. So I really want to stray from there. I tried Insta today, but that is seriously 1 ad every 5 posts you look at. It's fucking stupid. The ads are more palatable but like... it just puts a bad taste in my mouth. Like I'm sorry, I'm not in the mood to buy something right now, I just fucking woke up and I just want to watch some skate clips and art stuff.

I did yoga, which was good but... again... I hit the road block of not being able to get into a pose and then I was just super behind for a bit. Frustrating. But I got past it and it was good. After that... was the big bad moment.

I fell for clickbait. I saw a video on my recommended feed that was blaming The Berrics for fucking this dude over. It was over an hour long of this dude just sitting in front of a camera with a super expensive mic and just talking. Let me preface this by saying I actually got an early start to the day and was planning to get groceries. I clicked the video. This guy was... ... sad? I guess? I don't know how to really put it. Like... he was trying to impress his dad or something? But... in a "I'm a self-help guru" and "I'm a professional businessman" kinda way. And I looked through his videos, he had like 67K subs but his last few videos were getting like double digit views. Like the highest view count video he had was like 20K, and he had over 60K subs? I mean... yeah. I shit you not he was wearing both a hat and a hoodie with the words "Doubt Me" on them, and had his hashtag "#doubtme" (please for the love of god do not give this guy the analytic affirmation of searching that, no matter how morbid the curiosity may be) on screen the whole time. It was his "mantra". <facepalm> How could I say no to that? I doubted him. I mean, he was asking so nicely!

I start to write my "reaction" in the comments section. I could go on for a long time rehashing the details of that, but to put it succinctly, he did some... really sketchy and possibly illegal shit... and was putting this video out there as like... shifting the blame onto the Berrics. Trying to specifically out the founder, Steve Berra. Like personally naming him, and using his logo and his fucking face as the thumbnail for the video. Like... talk about defamation lawsuit, man. The dude just got control of his business back from sketchy stockholders like 3 fucking days ago after 5 years, and he has this eyebrow-waxing motherfucker shitting on his name like that. And, from as far as I could tell, it was primarily because he was having trouble being assertive and saying "no" to someone who was very blatantly trying to use The Berrics brand and image as a way to self-promote, trying to piggyback off their fame. Ugh, I'm getting upset again.

So here's the problem. I finally wrapped up the video and my whole like... in-depth 2+ page response. I was squirming in my chair like a toddler I had to piss so bad. I looked at the clock, it was past 5PM. I have no idea when I sat down and opened that, I'd ballpark around 1:30 or 2. I felt like I fucking time-traveled. And it wasn't even worth it. For real. I deleted the fucking comment. It wasn't going to make a difference, it was like a 2 page comment, who is going to read that? And what difference will it make? It's like... a reaction video in itself. I just deleted it and booked it up to the shower, praying I could get to the grocery store in time because I had my therapy appointment today.

I did not have enough time. I started shopping on Instacart, because a storm is coming, so I needed food. I got the order in the cart and... my mom calls. Half an hour before my meeting. I pick up and start unloading, which just spirals into catastrophizing. It got dark real quick. From "I lost time" to "I'm a fuck up" to "I have no friends" to "its not safe to meet new people". In like not even 10 minutes. Ugh. Luckily I went to therapy and got tons of that cleared up, and got a huge dose of like... "hey dude, by the way, that's not your fault. You suffered because of that, and you didn't even enjoy it. You were baited, and you didn't enjoy it, so don't beat yourself up over that. It's in the past." It helped a ton, and we went over different executive functioning tools to help with getting stuff done and daily structuring too. It was super helpful, I felt a ton better.

Then I called my mom back and apologized for my depressive episode, which is weird because... again... I shouldn't really apologize for something I can't really help because it hits me the hardest... but I apologized for how it affected her, because it must've been jarring. I felt like it was the right thing to do. And it was a nice moment.

The rest of the night was cooking potatoes, taking down timestamps on the Ancestors vids so I can maybe put together a little short narrative video from that. And... ice cream. Yep. That was my entire day. But, good news, got my groceries. I said fuck it and got the Instacart and I got lucky because the person made good substitutions when I was in my session. Now I'm just gonna prep for an early night. I'm really emotionally drained from it all. I don't fucking care anymore (at least not at the moment) if people out there think my problems are stupid or other people have it worse. The chain reactions in my head, the spirals that happen, the emotional burden of it all... it's rough. And if people are just going to scoff and compete and talk shit, I really hope they just keep fucking scrolling.

If it's one thing I need to take from today, it's that I need to stop giving my emotional bandwidth and energy to people who would never offer that much to me in return. I wrestle back and forth on where that fits on an ethical scale, as far as like... being a "good person"... but on a survival scale? I just can't do it. It doesn't make me a bad person to walk away from people who don't take my debilitating struggles seriously, it makes me... a self-respecting person.

[29-12-2011]

3 14 15

the digits of pi....

for convenience's sake i'll long-post this

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

i have a number of favourite lines but i think this one from total organ failure maybe? pre-everything viktor is so everything it's crazy...

Nineteen years old and he still believes in everything. Life must be unbearable.

in terms of scenes... the dream (from m*necraft) scene in the heartjar fic is cool. there's also this from an unpublished thing:

Being entirely honest, Viktor didn’t exactly remember what had happened a year ago, nor did he care enough to try. The administrative history of the mystery was stored in a paper box of printed emails, notices, and certificates he was going to burn for warmth in the winter. He’d roast a pigeon over the fire for Christmas and share it with the rats in his home in a great show of the festive spirit. He’d wrap up little rat-sized presents to accompany the feast and they would all sing lovely little Christmas carols, and every year Christmas would come and go until it had been ten Christmases since the Christmas he couldn’t remember and no one would talk about the Christmas he couldn’t remember, partially because rats couldn’t talk which made them very good living companions aside from all of the disease. Every rat in his house was named Sonic.

and then a jayce scene from an also unpublished thing for hashtag equality:

“Jayce,” says Viktor, slow and soft, as though half of him is in the world of the whales, crossing oceans and not needing names for them. “Have you thought about your future?”

Jayce stills very, very slightly, before he relaxes again. What absurd phrasing. “Mm. Let me think.” The whales are jumping out of the water now, graceful parabolas. “We’ll graduate, if you aren’t insistent on staying in academia. I give it a couple of years before you return to do a PhD. Depending on the position of the planets, you’ll either become a professor or denounce the system and dedicate yourself to changing lives and saving the world on your own, though it’s not really going to be on your own. Maybe we’ll get married, for tax benefits. My mother would like for it to be in a church, but also my mother wouldn’t like it, so maybe we could get away with just a certificate and, I don’t know, bowling alley date, with the funny carpets. We’ll get cake though. Chocolate. Maybe we’ll adopt.” He pauses. “Like a cat or something.”

yeah.... smile cat i'm very indecisive

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write

hm i guess the arcane viktor character study which isn't really an arcane viktor character study but more a reconciliation of ideas? i didn't think i was going to write anything for arcane viktor but shrug cat

15. something you learned this year

i learn very little from my experiences and make the same mistakes over and over again so... hm... i learnt circular acceleration about 4 times because i kept forgetting it. writing-wise, most of my learning is done subconsciously because i don't like. realise things explicitly it's more the gradual integration of things into my stream of consciousness so sorry for this non-answer

[autumnblogs]

Day 3: Vendetta against Bro

Welcome back to more Homestuck Liveblogging. Picking up with Nannasprite as she prepares to give John the Dirt.

https://homestuck.com/story/421

Sburb’s opening move is to take John’s Dad away from him. If @mmmmalo​‘s theory about psychological storytelling is to be believed, Sburb provokes fear and then manifests it in the form of a character’s antagonists. If you wonder why I bring them up so much, it’s probably because I’ve been reading their blog lately. I am almost always game for more Homestuck theorization, and would love to be able to reference more people and engage with their thoughts in my theoryposts and liveblogging, so if you know somebody with good takes, please pass them along my way.

The Incipisphere, like John’s name, was invoked into existence by player/character action, but paradoxically, has always been that way. By engaging with Sburb, John authenticates its retroactive existence, like a mailman taking a signature of receipt for a package.

When we engage with the fixtures of our cultures and material realities, we too, authenticate them. This can be good or bad - when we communicate with each other, recognize each other, we authenticate each other too. Observing and being observed is a mutual act of validation for everyone involved. I see you seeing me seeing you.

I’m full of horseshit again. Read some more horseshit after the break.

Content Warning for this one: Pedophilia Mentions.

https://homestuck.com/story/422

There’s a lot to unpack in this sequence of pages, and I’m almost certainly going to miss a lot of it, but I’ll come back to stuff that I miss as it comes back up in later pages.

As a Crucible of Unlimited Potential, Skaia can become absolutely anything, and the shape that it will take on will be influenced by the actions of the players. But it isn’t anything yet. 

This is the second time in two pages that Nanna has brought up the light-darkness dichotomy of the forces at play in the Medium, and after just talking about the act of mutual authentication through mutual observation, my brain is screaming the words Hegelian Lens at me. Might go somewhere with that too.

I also wanna call attention to the name of the Medium. As a story about stories, it only makes sense that the name of Homestuck’s main otherworld should evoke the field used to propagate mass communication.

https://homestuck.com/story/423

I’ve always thought that it’s interesting that of the two forces in the Medium, the players have natural allies in the form of Prospit. The choice here is not to act on behalf of one or the other, the choice is between Action and Inaction. Not doing something is itself, doing something.

https://homestuck.com/story/427

You Can (Not) Redo.

Sburb relentlessly drives its players forward. If you attempt to go back, or stay where you are, you will be punished. No getting your parents back, no getting your planet back.

What’ll it be John? Advance or Advance?

https://homestuck.com/story/431

John is extremely resistant to being made to do things that he doesn’t want to do anyway, even by Narrators.

More thoughts about Cake and Baked Goods in Homestuck and in relation to John. The other main characters baking is associated with in Homestuck are all women - The Condesce, Meenah, Jane, Nanna - and baking in general is pretty strongly associated with women, moms, etc. I’ve always thought it was a little out of place amongst Dad’s other character traits, which are definitively masculine. Maybe it’s for exactly that reason - baking is culturally feminine.

Maybe John’s resistance to baked goods is because he’s uncomfortable receiving feminine affection (especially, but not only from his Dad). It’s like getting kisses from your Mom in public or other public displays of affection between men and the women in their lives, or even men and other men in their lives. John is certainly pretty clueless about affection from women when he receives it later in the story. On the other hand, he responds very well to masculine displays of affection, like the aloof but ebullient cards he gets from his Dad, or the one-upsmanship between him and Dave.

 (I’ll have to think some more about the capitalism thing from my other post.)

https://homestuck.com/story/433

More of Rose seeing enemies in every shadow. Then again, could it be Jasper’s fault that they’re in this mess?

https://homestuck.com/story/442

I think the fact that we jump to this point in the past suggests that Rose is probably reminiscing about this spot, going along with my theory that when the Narration is focusing on a character, it’s also giving us that character’s stream of consciousness - we’re experience what Rose is experiencing.

That probably goes a long way to excusing the kind of puzzling, irritating experience we have of our first minutes with John. Due to his tendency to get distracted by things and forget how things work, we have to suffer through his own inability to navigate his disorderly environment exactly the same way he does.

Oh, so that’s why this story gets compared to Ulysses.

It is Jaspers’ fault that they’re in this mess. My hypothesis gathers more data.

https://homestuck.com/story/444

The third of the prose poems. Drat. Got to Dave’s Poem before I even had the chance to write about Rose’s Poem. Guess we’ll come back to this one later later.

https://homestuck.com/story/445

I’ve almost certainly missed a few of these gags by now but “Left him hanging long enough” is one of the jokes that Homestuck reproduces over and over again. Homestuck reproduces itself frequently, like variations on a theme. Its self-referential nature could be called incestuous, as it turns one-off gags into recurring gags.

https://homestuck.com/story/448

While Bro and Dirk are both definitely irony ninjas where Dave is just performing irony to get his Bro’s approval, I think all the irony is an effort to distance themselves from the fact that they really do sincerely enjoy the things they’re “ironically” into. That too, is probably ironic.

Unfortunately, the actual subject matter of Bro’s interests, while innocuous in a vacuum, are still extremely inappropriate to leave out where a thirteen year old can have access to them. Bro probably isn’t a pedophile, but between the martial education, and the uncomfortable degree to which he involves Dave in his sex life, his relationship with Dave recalls pederasty which is one of many, many links between Dirk, Bro, and the Classical Hellenes, and Monastic Shudo, a similar practice historically attested from their beloved Japan. (The term Platonic Relationship is called that because Plato is one of the first Greek Philosophers to argue that maybe it would be better for students’ education if they weren’t also sexually involved with their mentors? Or so the story goes.)

I may have a bit of a vendetta against Bro Strider, which probably has at least a little to do with the fact that, when I first read Homestuck, I got fooled into thinking he was kind of awesome, and it wasn’t until I was able to deal with my own childhood abuse and the fact that I had been indoctrinated with a lot of the very same toxic ideas bro inculcated in Dave that I was able to realize that Bro Strider is kind of a horrible guardian, so I have a sort of special ire directed at this character. Maybe I’m afraid in another life, I could have grown up to be that kind of creep. I’m glad I didn’t.

https://homestuck.com/story/449

All throughout this section, the narration suggests that Dave is both subconsciously aware that his Bro’s pasttimes make him uncomfortable, but trying to soothe himself by affirming them. So, in spite of my sharing some youthful confusion with Dave, the Narrative at least communicates to us from the very beginning that something is off about Bro.

https://homestuck.com/story/452

To interrupt my dark and brooding reverie, please enjoy some Skate 3 Glitches.

I guess here’s a good place to note that I am going to be using the #personal stuff hashtag to denote when a post contains me alluding to my own dark and troubled past.

https://homestuck.com/story/457

The password is six letters long, and based on the fact that it’s the most awesome thing that it could be, I have no doubt that it’s Strider.

https://homestuck.com/story/465

Yup.

https://homestuck.com/story/466

:)

It warms the cockles of me heart that Dave’s first inclination when he starts to flip the fuck out is to reach out to John Egbert.

https://homestuck.com/story/484

8^y

https://homestuck.com/story/485

Remember that one-upsmanship I was talking about? Any chance Dave and John get around each other, they talk each other down. I’m not sure if Andrew was saying anything about Toxic Masculinity at the time. I expect, like a lot of us, he didn’t have those words on his mind in 2009, but that’s textbook toxic masculinity, and I think when viewed as a complete work, Dave and John’s growth out of it is a sign of healthy maturation. Build each other up, boys, don’t tear each other down. In this life, we’re all we’ve got, and you owe it to each other.

https://homestuck.com/story/503

Leveling up is one of those weird things about Roleplaying Games that I didn’t realize until some point in the last two years is kind of an integral fixture of them. Overcoming hardships permanently makes you stronger in games that have an experience-level feature in them, and once you’re strong enough to beat a challenge once, you’re almost always strong enough to overcome that challenge in the future.

It’s a kind of storytelling that on closer examination is weirdly propagandistic, but it’s actually all over media. It’s pretty rare for a story to say “When you overcome a challenge, good job. You will have to overcome that same challenge again and again - maybe every day of your life.” The interesting thing, and I might come back to this, is that I think Homestuck actually takes this latter approach. Exactly the same emotional struggles they begin the story with are the ones they spend all 8000 pages of Homestuck agonizing over, and these characters will probably spend their entire lives wrestling with the baggage of their youth.

Suffering and toil is the fate of humankind, I suppose.

https://homestuck.com/story/518

Surrounded by Idiots.

https://homestuck.com/story/538

Saw is a story about a serial killer who subjects his victims to gruelling trials catered to make them face their own fatal flaws and emerge changed into better people, which is a lot like authorial scorn, which Andrew describes thusly in the commentary for Vriska’s introduction: “It's not as ill-willed as it might sound, but more of a universal principle of storytelling that for things to be interesting, harsh outcomes must befall those you create, in response to which they may thrive or fail. Which to the casual observer may read as hate.“. Lord English and Caliborn bear visual similarity to Jigsaw’s creepy puppet avatars, and serve as instruments of Andrew’s Authorial Scorn. Bro reproduces the same kind of creator’s hatred that Lord English bears toward all of Paradox Space, and reproduces it for the dubious benefit of his ward - Dave is to overcome the challenges thrust upon him in order to become strong.

https://homestuck.com/story/571

Dave does not care for being watched.

https://homestuck.com/story/588

If Dave’s first instinct for when he’s uncomfortable is to go talk to his friends, his second instinct is to attack.

https://homestuck.com/story/625

I don’t remember where I read it originally, it’s too far away in the past, but each of the items in the Rocket Pack is representative of one of John’s friends. The Cinderblock Dave, the Flower Pot Jade, the Violin Rose. John’s friends, his connections and bonds (Blood) tie him down and prevent him from indulging his most impulsive behaviors (Breath).

https://homestuck.com/story/631

In addition to Mad Science (or perhaps as an aspect thereof) John demonstrates remarkable lateral thinking.

https://homestuck.com/story/635

Alchemy has helped me get my thoughts in gear on a subject I glossed over the other day - the way the characters’ personality traits and objects fill the background radiation of the comic. In a way, the same thing is going on when the characters produce all kinds of neat shit from the odds and ends around their house as is going on when Sburb populates itself with symbols from the characters domestic lives. 

Clowns become a threatening symbol throughout all of Homestuck, basically because there are a bunch in John’s house from a Doylist perspective. From a Watsonian perspective, Sburb seems, through the vehicle of destiny, to deliberately latch onto things from the players’ lives that will help them to contend with their anxiety and trauma. John has bad dreams about clowns, and seems to conceptualize himself as a clown in his self-critical estimation of himself. Maybe even as a Dark Mirror of his aspirations to be an entertainer? Is a Circus Clown a funhouse mirror version of a stage magician? I don’t have a follow up to that question, but it makes me think. If you checked out the essay from Malo I linked earlier, you might recognize some other things that John is afraid of which characterize his session, like his alleged fear of heights, and his anxiety about confronting his Dad.

I think that’s all for this evening. Another 200 pages down.

Cam signing off, alive and not alone.

[jlf23tumble]

July fic recs? 👀

I loveeee that emoji, it’s so cute and nosy, I respond to it on a visceral level, this is literally me anytime a friend of mine indirects someone (only I cannot unlock the mystery of using emojis on Tumblr, so I just go, “Who ya indirecting //insert nosy emoji eyes//???” Oh, me.) I’m actually a teensy bit behind on some fic in my “to read” pile (longer fic for the most part) because I’m a genius who decided to run a fest in the middle of my biggest work month EVER, but I’m sure I’ll catch up on those outliers soon--in the meantime, I *do* have some fics I read this month that I absolutely loved. Enjoy!!!

I’ll start with the baby I birthed this month, @momrryfest2020!!! I just posted the author reveals, so go here and read every single one of 'em, holy SHIT, they’re so good!!! Lactation! Regular mom stuff! Pregnancy hi-jinks! Insanely amazing pairings!!! Definitely worth the time, they’re all short! And as a related bonus, two superstars originally wrote longer fic, withdrew those stories, posted them outside the fest, THEN CAME BACK and wrote shorter ones so we’d have a full roster--my heart swells every time I think about it, tbh. So yes, highly recommend Donor-Conceived by @jaerie and The Baby Whisperer by @jacaranda-bloom!!

Shot, by @sashinalash, 751 words, Harry/Louis. This is part of the @wordplayfics challenge, and I think it’s one of my faves??? A stream of consciousness that describes the chaos of Harry’s camera roll.

Knife’s Edge, by @sadaveniren, 1.4k, Harry/Louis. Another one in the wordplay series, but ALSO part of this author’s series about people on the BDSM scene who are also parents. Each installment is a gem, but this one? NICE!!!!!

serotonin stole the moment, the best of me was left under the bedsheets, by publunchesownmyass, 2.5k, Harry/Louis. One of my fave newer authors, I’m so glad I subscribe because I was blessed with so much this month? Perfectly bite-sized, too!! This one imagines a BTS during one of Louis’s recent interviews (with sexi results).

Girl you can bend me, shape me, make me, by enbyharry/ @non-binharry, 3.5k, Harry/Louis. Godddd, I love Asia, who said, u know what? I’ll write a bl fic, but Harry’s gonna be massively pregnant, and it’s gonna kill every annoying characterization in the genre, and I think that’s neat (p.s. I LOVE YOU, ASIA)

i moustache you a question, but i’ll shave it for later, by adoreloux, 3.9k, Harry/Louis. The banter in this one, all the names Louis has for Harry with a 70s porn stache, good stuff!

Dreams and Stars, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 4k, Gimli/Legolas. Look, these people could be called Barfli/Armslice, and I’d still read it and LOVE IT, and I’m still bowled over that this is only one of 150 or so E fics in this pairing??? It ticks so many boxes, I’m really fascinated with the rest, tbh.

the one that keeps the dream alive from the morning, past the evening, by publunchesownmyass, 4.3k, Harry/Louis. Banter banter banter, this author and dialogue, swoon!! 90s AU? Swoon even more!!

Compromised, by AlchemyAlice, 5.7k, Napoleon/Illya. I literally YELLED when I got this notification, one of my favorite series authors posted something new??? That’s old/unreleased? But new? BRB, gotta reread that collaring series!

mon petit, little one, by publunchesownmyass, 5.6k, Harry/Louis. I think there are least three (3) seriously great fics about Harry getting fucked in that sweater, and i am here for ALL OF THEM, two of my fave fandom authors have now done it, even better! YESSSSSSS!

All Night Long, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 62k, Bard/Bofur. This one’s a wip, and I’m hashtag blessed I get to edit and thus get all the sneakpeeks and ability to yell in the google doc about it, IT IS SO GOOD!! Oh, Bofur! Oh, Bard! HIGHLY RECOMMEND, you definitely don’t need to see the movie to fall in love with this story and these two dum-dums.

....and I literally just started to look at A Sweeter Place, by anonymous, which is older Harry/Louis and one of the ones in the “to read” pile, so you’re getting an up-to-the-minute snapshot, ha!

[averagestudent7]

Activism &Protests via Social Media

Social Media activism is a broad form of activism that uses media and communication technology for social and political movements.   It is also a medium for grassroots activists and anarchists to distribute content that is not accessible through mass media or to post censored news stories (PewResearch 2018). Basically this is where all the juicy content resides, so lets dive in. 

#hashtag Activism 

Hashtag activism is a term invented by media sources that refers to the usage of Twitter hashtags for Int

ernet activism.  Hashtag advocacy is a strategy to broaden the use of communication and make it democratic in such a way that everyone has a way to share their views and opinions (GlobalCitizen n.d).

Here are a few #hashtags that have been used in the past by Social Activits;

1.   #HeForShe

We all know that gender equity affects everyone, don't we? And feminism for women?  Well, we have a significant part of the He For She movement to thank for that. This UN Women movement, endorsed by Emma Watson and Justin Trudeau, aims to consciously engage men and boys in a fight that was traditionally thought of as "a woman's matter” (pwc n.d). 

The United States of America, Mexico and the United Kingdom are among the leading countries in the world in terms of contributions and contributions to join the cause.

2.  #ASLIceBucketChallenge

Who doesn't remember the happy summer of 2014, when Facebook's news streams were all over the place, overflowing with people with ice and water flowing over their heads?

In the UK, one in six people engaged in the ice bucket challenge, which allowed people to nominate their mates to grab the baton to keep the momentum rolling (ALS Association 2019).

Turns out those much-mocked Ice Bucket Challenge videos helped do a lot of good. Two summers ago, the challenge, designed to raise money for research into amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, took the internet by storm. Supporters ended up raising over $115 million for the A.L.S (Rogers 2016).   

3. #BlackLivesMatter

Black Lives Matter is a decentralized political and social movement promoting non-violent civil resistance in protest of police brutality and other race based abuse towards African-Americans (Anderson 2016).

With its roots in an emotional Facebook post, after the killing of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in 2012, this hashtag has sparked a civil rights campaign that would transform the face of the United States. There are currently more than 26 chapters of Black Lives Matter across the United States (Calderwood and Hales 2019).

The campaign is fueled by sorrow at the nearly infinite flood of wrongful deaths; anger at institutionalized racism; indignation at the consistent lack of fair treatment for all African-Americans.

How Protests Become Successful Social Movements

While hashtags used for activism are capable of educating and gaining people's interest and mobilizing as many people as possible, they should understand the implications of posting such content and what is acceptable for posting. Activists are urged to devote their time developing and revealing less divisive knowledge and to help people understand about the root causes of the crisis.

Still, protests such as the huge Black lives matter march that took place earlier this year, while vital to the development of transformational reform, is only the first step. There are obvious reasons that some campaigns languish and die away while others flourish, and protesters need to take the lessons of history to heart (PND 2018). In order to make a meaningful difference, the campaign needs to follow these five golden steps:

Step 1: Define the change you want to see

Defining change obviously is a recurring trend for popular campaigns. Gandhi decided to be independent of the British. The Civil Rights Movement required concrete laws to be enacted. The color revolutions required a change in government. This were both concrete targets that could construct a plan around them (Gribbin 2017).

Step 2: Shift the spectrum of allies

When you have specifically identified the improvement that you want to make, you need to start looking at the spectrum of allies. Find out that you should expect active or passive support from and provide neutrality at best — or, at worst, active or passive resistance. As Sun Tzu wrote, "Know yourself, know your opponent, and know the landscape." The terrain is a continuum of allies (abc news 2018).

Step 3: Identify the pillars of power

While it is vital to attract supporters from up and down the continuum of funding, it is also important to recognize the organizations that have the ability to bring about the reform you want. These "pillars of influence" can include the police, the media, the school system, government departments, or other organisations. As vital as public support is to the cause, nothing is going to improve without structural support (Popovic and Satell 2017) .

Step 4: Seek to attract, not to overpower

Every campaign is trying to fix any inequality, so it's easy to slip into the pit of demonizing the other side. And this is when a lot of movements fall off the rails. Anger is an effective mobilizing force, but anger without hope is a crippling force. You ought to have an affirmative argument for affirmative tactics ( Mongiello 2016 ).

Step 5: Build a plan to survive victory

Ironically, one of the most dangerous phases of the revolt is just after victory has been won. In Ukraine's 2004 Orange Revolution, the incoming team was unable to establish a single, efficient administration, and soon the nation reverted to anarchy. Secular demonstrators succeeded in Egypt in 2011, but the subsequent elections were won by the Muslim Brotherhood (Popovic et al 2017)

In conclusion, it is crucial not to associate the call for reform with the ideals that the campaign aims to embody. Only because you win an election or have a policy approved and financed doesn't mean it's time to claim victory. In fact, it is at this stage that you need to reinforce relationships and renew the commitment of each stakeholder to what has generated progress in the first place.

References

abc, 2018. 'No-One Is Listening': Tens Of Thousands Mark Invasion Day With Protests. Abc.net.au. viewed 22nd October<https://www.abc.net.au/new s/2018-01-26/invasion-day-protests-in-melbourne-and-sydney/9364940>

ALS Association, 2019. Ice Bucket Challenge Dramatically Accelerated The Fight Against ALS.  The ALS Association. viewed 22nd October <https://www.als.org/stories-news/ice-bucket-challenge-dramatically-accelerated-fight-against-als> 

Anderson, 2016. History Of The Hashtag #Blacklivesmatter: Social Activism On Twitter. Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech. viewed 22nd October <https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2016/08/15/the-hashtag-blacklivesmatter-emerges-social-activism-on-twitter/>

Gribbin, 2017. Hanson Insists She Can Hold One Nation Together. viewed 22nd October <https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-01-30/pauline-hanson-vows-to-prevent-one-nation-fragmenting/8220196>

Mongiello, 2016. Repository.upenn. viewed 22nd October du<https://reposito ry.up enn.edu/cgi /viewcontent.cgi?article=4267&context=edissertations>

Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech. 2018. Activism In The Social Media Age. viewed 22nd October <https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/ 2018/07/11/public-attitudes-toward-political-engagement-on-social-media/> 

pnd, 2018. How Change Happens: Why Some Social Movements Succeed While Others Don't, Philanthropy News Digest (PND). viewed 22nd October <https://philanthropynewsdigest.org/off-the-shelf/how-change-happens-why-some-social-movements-succeed-while-others-don-t> 

Popovic and Satell, 2017. 8 Massive Moments Hashtag Activism Really, Really Worked. Global Citizen. viewed 22nd October <https://www.globalcitizen. org /en/content/hashtag-activism-hashtag10-twitter-trends-dresslik/>

pws, n.d. Pwc Proudly Backs Heforshe. PwC. viewed 22nd October <https://www.pwc.com/gx/en/about/diversity/he-for-she.html>+

Rogers, K., 2016. The ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’ Helped Scientists Discover A New Gene Tied To A.L.S. (Published 2016). Nytimes.com. viewed 22nd October <https://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/28/health/the-ice-bucket-challenge-helped-scientists-discover-a-new-gene-tied-to-als.html#:~:text=It %20turns%20out%20t hose%20much,%24115%20million%20for%20the%20A.L.S.>

[hoseingh]

Historical Identity: The role of History on identity Layers

“It’s not just that I’m a woman of color running for office. It’s the way that I ran. It’s the way that my identity formed my methods.”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

 What I realize from the notion of identity, especially when I

start thinking about myself; it is like onion made by various layers. as I

mentioned before in another post about constructing historical identity? I believe a Human has

labeling various tags to his character for identifying himself from others.

however, it’s wondering the mind for defining his unique identity, using total

similarities. he is constantly labeling himself whole tags like Gender, Race,

Family, Language, Geography, caste, culture, nation, religion, etc. he

continues this way until he makes sure, he will the only and unique person who

maintained in all of these whole layers. 

we can define these whole tags in 2 main subjects: 1- private

self-2- public self. some layers of our identity coming from the deep question

of who am I? we constantly listening to our inner voices.so our mind trying to

construct a unique individual character for ourselves. moreover, we are social

sapiens.so other fundamental question arises of what I mean? we are affected by

the outside world. the society forcing us to build a clear definition of our

existence in society and accept our specific roles in it.

whatever right or wrong, the mind is building constantly a maze

with multilayers for his identity in every moment of life. these identity

layers defining our point of view to life. and lightening the path to future

destiny. These identity layers are shaping our values and belief system. as

they are dictating types of action to our consciousness, facing the outside

world. 

despite how history has made an active role in identifying our

character? history help us to organize and choose priority in these whole

layers. essentially we need principal and basic identity. in other word, we

have to choose the top priority layer for our self. private or public self,

patriot or religious, rock music, or pop music? normally we use history to

resolve in every dilemma in our mind. 

if we do not suppose to choose an item for our character,

probably the spirit of history will force us to fall in an unwanted role in our

life. history is playing an active role ever in our DNA. hence we are highly

dependent on our memory to make a decision. and every decision is an active

move to construct our identity structure. and playing our role in the story of

life.

history of life is teaching us that we have no choice except to

define our point of view about some circles. such as what is my role in a

family? how can I improve my place in my neighborhood? which worldview fits

best with my future destiny? is nationality would help me to achieve my goals?

or how becoming a fan of a certain sports club can express better my identity

and helping me to make a better relationship with others? etc. some hashtags

are essential and we cannot neglect them. On the other hand, some whole layers

are optional and it’s up to you, whether joining in or not. 

here are essential layers of human identity: 

1

2

3

 how history forcing you to get your basic layer of identity?

the palace of Self needs a solid and very stable foundation. and you have to choose the best fitting layer as a basic layer of your identity. which one you would choose? for an answer to this fundamental question, you have to study well your inner world and compare it to your outside reality. now just zoom out from your own identity to the bigger scale of public society, nation, state, or even universal. now think again about the basic layer of identity. what is your best reference for research or study? and in the next step, how you can expose your point of view? My answer is culture, literature, or history in the light of philosophy. 

 Iran as a great example

let me dive into the ocean of history and continue this argument in a real example: we have a controversial issue about what is our main layer of identity in Iran, for the last 2 centuries. either we believe individualism or communitarianism. there is still a bigger question: what is a true definition of Iran as part of Iranian identity? in the late 19th century the sense of nationalism arose in the Iranian community and by the beginning of Reza Shah’s kingdom in the first of 20th (1925). Iranian nationality had been established as the official government in Iran. but there was some great issue still maintained. what does Iran mean? which language, culture, or tradition represents the notion of Iran? 

this issue has Absolut roots in the history of this land. Iran is one of the oldest civilizations in human history in the heart of middle east. the history of Iran has divided into 2 major eras: before and after Islam. I would not be discussing the long ancient history of Iran. although you can read it on the internet if you want. anyway, there is still a hot controversial discussion about the role of Islam in Iranian identity in our contemporary era. Islam was Iranian official religion for more than 1000 years. Besides that, Islam has its own official language, culture, and traditions. for a long time, Persian and Arabic languages have used in Iranian culture. but in the age of enlightenment and by rising the essence of nationalism in Iran some Iranian intellectuals were tried to remove Islamic identity and refer back to Iranian ancient history had known as Arian-Persian History as a basic layer of Iranian national identity. 

Despite Iranian intellectual movement has a major problem by any religions, following western modernization. besides that, they were seeking a way to bold Iranian differences against Arabic culture. then Reza shah has begun the modernization process he based the foundation of Iran national identity on Persian-Aryan history. this occurred serious paradoxical issues in Iranian society. Because some great parts of Iranian were not descendants from the Aryan-Persian race. For example, Turks people in the northwest, Gilanian, and Turkmens in the north, Arab, and other tribes in the southwest had maintained outside of this main layer of identity. although the Islamic religion is more rooted in Iranian culture to remove it overnight. 

the idea of a new identity for Iran as a Nation-state has occurred more clashes instead of the unity in the country. until the Islamic revolution of Iran in 1979, revolutionaries had calmed Islam as the principal layer of Iran identity. On the other

hand, modernists intellectual movement had stressed the ancient history of Iran and define the Aryan race as a fundamental layer of Iranian identity. although this paradox still remaining in Iranian politics, culture, and society. this caused more identity crisis in Iranian history. 

the exciting part is the role of historians and writers. because they were trying to rewrite new history from scratch and bolding their point of view as Aryan domination history over Islam. in the 20th century a new version of Iran history had been coming up that there is no record in Iranian written memory. 

some Iranian writers supporting by western imperialism had founded a new vision about Iranian history. a lot of thinkers including myself believe that all of this new history is part of western Imperialism plan to rip off Iranian oil sources. although this approach to history is setting to make more identity crisis in nations than creating a solid national identity. 

anyway, the issue of Iran is one of the best examples for discussing the importance of historic identity. and I’ll be writing more about the issue of Iran in my next papers. 

 History vs most essential identity layers

let’s presume we consider nationality as a basic layer of public identity. hereon all of the other layers most expose somehow to fit this principal layer. economy, culture, ethnicity, and religion should represent the best of nationality. but there is one question that will twinkle: which one of these essential layers we would choose for the basic identity layer?

this is one of the greatest subjects that free thinkers especially philosophers have thought and wrote about it. this question is out of our discussion. but the point is whatever is the right answer, we need history in the process of think production. 

in fact, the question of which layer of Self, should place as principal, is not in our intention. In fact, our main question is: how we can design a fundamental layer of identity? the short answer could be referring to self-referential encoding. including private or public memories. this is the active role of History, literature, art, or philosophy. 

the game of Self building will be becoming more exciting when we consider our point of view to history is highly dependent on the order of sortation of our identity layers. these layers in the loop circulation are forcing us to review and rewrite human history. individualism, socialism, racism, nationalism or religion, etc. all of these isms, need to interpret history as their point of view. although the best interpretation of history is what laminate all of the human layers. the main issue in the 21st century is not which worldview is true. the problem is most of them are true layers of human identity.

 historical obstacles for constructing identity

history is an ebullient source of legitimation. the repetition of procedures in time laps is making traditions. and traditions have caused legitimacy. hence constructing new ideas isn’t always congruous by the stream of history. history could become a strong barrier against any changes as much as it could become the main tool to build a new self. Historic studies would be reminding us that every new idea did face serious resistance from historic traditions. therefor if we are neglecting to examine these historic obstacles we will fail as many great ideas did fail because of that. 

people are highly dependent on their current situations. Thus we need precise situation awareness, for every fundamental change or evolution. On the other hand, we need relevant force to change in the current stream of history. we can point out to enormous examples in human history. 

 Axis layers, Savior layers, link layers

sometimes titles are more important than paragraphs. maybe it’s better to get rid of these paragraphs and spend our time thinking about headings. any way by observing history or historiography we can find out that it’s not just Axis identity layers that matter. the portrait of self (such as private or public self) is like Photoshop picture including background and various layers, effects and patterns, etc. although the result is just one frame of the picture. every main category has its own functions and attributes in the structure of self-identity. 

the main Axis of self, most support by relevant pillars. for example, if we presume nationality as the kingbolt of public identity. then there is no way to build the roof of nationality except on the columns of language, race, culture, religion (any worldview) geography, etc. thus we would define the exact position of every of these supporter layers under the whole public self. 

[saintjudejournal]

Pretty proud of this, not going to lie 😅

I think this is the probably the most I’ve ever worked on a poem and written on here.

******

I wrote the first draft of this quickly and very angrily sometime in 2016 on one of those hot summer days when things where just not going well. To top things off, I left my bananas on top of my fridge and flies got into my apartment, laid eggs in them and it was all super gross. Fun fact, still haven’t had a banana since then... (so yeah, it wasn’t the best day not sure if you can tell from the poem 😅). Anyways, fast forward to a while later when my mood subsided as it often does, eventually... for some reason I never could complete this poem. Still not sure why, even now I keep wondering if i should have added a bit more...

I usually tend to avoid reading what I write especially if it’s just after a stream of consciousness rant and so I let the words simmer for a while.

When I finally did get to review what I have written, I don’t know why but it didn’t sound like “me.” The words were crude, a departure from my typical stylistic choices and not very pleasant to read. In fact I didn’t really like what I have written at all so I decided it was another one of my “rough drafts” and left it to dissipate at the bottom of my notes folder where fragments of my thoughts go to die.

Throughout, the years I would stumble upon it while making a grocery list or attempting for the 100th time to clean up my notes and would give it a quick glance but again, reading the words always left a bad taste in my mouth and I would put it away not feeling very good.

Strangely enough, the phrase “it’s got to be for something, the rot” have been in my mind for some time now. I’m not entirely sure when those words came to me to be honest, but I always think of them especially on days when things are bad. I think I subconsciously conjured up those words as a reminder that all the hardships and bad times serve a purpose even if it’s too painful to know what that is just yet.

(God, this is probably the most I’ve ever written for a caption in my life)

To make a long story short, for whatever reason, something inside me probably same place the voices come from...(kidding but not really), decided it was time to finally publish this. The urge to write again and publish this, took over my mind so utterly and irrevocably, it was almost a compulsion.

I suddenly had this image in my head of how I wanted it to look and I just knew it had to come out looking the way it did. I’m not sure why I thought of all the religious iconographies...

Maybe because I was a pastor’s kid and a part of my subconscious still associates the concept of “heaven”/“nirvana” as escapism from all “the rot.”

Perharps, my current obsession with Bukowski’s unflinching approach to writing is inspiring me to just write and create whatever words or imagery that comes to mind no matter how crazy/unsavoury it might seem without worrying about other’s interpretation. I can definitely credit my recent obsession with the dirty old man for giving me the courage to attempt the whole “writing thing” again.

Maybe it’s a bit of both or oh who knows...

Nevertheless, I’m grateful to whatever demon or angel that possessed me. It’s been a crazy couple of years and I still have no idea what I’m doing but I think I’m going to keep trying the whole writing/creating thing again. I haven’t slept before 5am in a while so sleep deprivation is probably the driving force behind all this but I can finally say for the first time that I’m...dare I say happy? ...Hmm let’s say content... no happy. I’m happy with what I wrote/created and even though my brain is literally wincing every time I say the “H” word, I’m going to try and keep reminding myself how good it feels to actually create an image I’ve been carrying in my mind. As for the editing, considering I literally had no photoshop skills up until 3 days ago and no computer I think I did ok. Apparently, something inside me wanted my words to be framed like a photograph with the hashtag “soft girl” on Instagram (or someone who just time travelled to 2009 and discovered Microsoft paint 😅) so I’ve literally been up all night on my phone trying to put together fragments of the images I’ve carried in my mind...

I’m still not sure what all of it means but I think what I was trying to say at the time is that things in my life are ugly/rotten. I’m not where I want to be and I would like to change it. I don’t know how that’s coming along but I would sure like to keep trying... And just going back and doing further edits I think the reason I added all those edits, the ornate borders and why not has to do with something along the lines of things in my life aren’t pretty, I’m not where I want to be but I’m the only who who can change it. I can crop, edit, pixelate (sorry I just learnt photoshop), the things that are within my control to change... (That and I also just like really pretty things. Haha. Always have been a sucker for some good ol’ good/evil, pretty/ugly juxtaposition.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I can create/clean up/ beautify for lack of a better word those things that I don’t like... the ugly parts and it’s up to me to make my life more beautiful/how I like...

This calls to mind the lyrics to one of my favourite songs... Yeasayer’s 2080; “we can pickle the pain into blue ribbon winners at county contests”

(Wow, things certainly took an existential turn...)

If you’ve read this far, what are you doing with your life? Haha no but if anyone reads this far, well damn! You’ve definitely earned yourself a virtual cookie 🍪 ... (I’m sure you’re thrilled, try to control your excitement) but yeah you definitely get a lot of props and I imagine your patience level is unmatchable!

Really though, thank you :) I really do appreciate it and sorry for my super long rant 😅 I think the sleep deprivation might be kicking in now so I should end here.

If you made it this far thanks so much again and I really, really, really do appreciate it. In trying to keep with the whole “going to actually try and give this writing thing a proper shot kick I’m on this week”.

Thats all for now folks, thanks so much again! ✌️🙈😅🤷‍♀️

[all-at-once-you-are-the-one]

Stream of Consciousness Lover Album Reaction

I wrote out my first thoughts while listening to the album and put them in one big post. I hope you find them as funny as I do lmao

1. I Forget That You Existed

LOL so that’s what the drake Easter egg was about!

Who is this about????

NIIIIiiiiiiiiiIIIiiiiCE

SHE SOUNDS SO GOOD

I JUST FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE LMAOOO

HER LAUGH!! SO CUTE!!

This track is somehow savage and adorable at the same time

So......yeah.......

ShnfhKJHGKSHDKGHSKGHSJG

2. Cruel Summer

This is giving me Katy perry vibes

The devils roll their dice line is from this?? Didn’t expect that

This is maybe the catchiest song I’ve ever heard

Why is this not a single??????

STILL DONT KNOW WHAT SUMMERS A KNIFE MEANS

EXPLAIN TAYLOR

This also kind of gives me Jonas brothers vibes, why???

Again.....what is this about???

OooOOoooOooWhoooooAAAAhh i loveeee this

OOOH no you know what this gives me GETAWAY CAR vibes

Wait...do we think that at the beginning joe wanted to keep their relationship private and Taylor agreed but then changed her mind? WAIT NO.....is this about her having to keep her love for joe secret at first the summer they met because she was with someone else/it was too soon??

3. Lover

Ok SUPER WEIRD transition into lover but OK

As much as I love albums with a clear narrative like rep I also like being all over the place so this is fine

CAN I GO WHERE YOU GOOOOOO

FOR EVER AND EVER ANDIIIII

YOURE MY MY MY MYYYYY LOVER

I wonder what inspired her to use the term lover? Does she not know that normal people don’t speak like that?

WAIT IS THE REASON LOVER COMES AFTER CRUEL SUMMER because of the 3 summers line?? Like look how we started...now were here

Does the album begin with i forgot you existed because its like ok this Kanye situation happened...but now were gonna forget about that and talk about the realer real story of the past couple years of my life rather than seeing it through the lens of that story like on rep

4. The Man

THE ACCURACY

THE ACCURAACCCCYYYYYYYYY

IT HUUURRTTSSS

Honestly though i actually thought this one would be more savage, i thi

DID SHE JUST SAY BITCHES AND MODELSSSS?????

SLJGSHUKGHKDG

Never mind this is as savage as i wanted

I should know better than to judge a Taylor song before the bridge

Again why isn’t this a single.....it better be

5. The Archer

The emotional whiplash this album is giving me is insane.

It’s like RED but with synths

Is the archer placed here because part of her lack of self confidence comes from the things the media says about her (because she’s a woman not a man?) INTERESTING THOUGHT

Don’t have much else to say about this, we already know

.....

Wow the cake i bought for tonight is somehow way too sweet

6. I Think He Knows

Definitely didn’t think i think he knows was about being horny af

But this is so catchy

Why is everything so catchy?? Literally every song should be a single

BOY I UNDERSTAND the confidence!! After the archer!! I love that he makes her feel that way1!!

I THINK HE KNOOOOOOOWWWWSS

This gives me teenage dream vibes and i fucking love that song

7. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Ok time for the one with the weird title

I love how she keeps comparing her current feelings to how she felt as a teenager!! How its the same and different....very good.

SHES A BAD BAD GIRL

More dice!

Is she imagining what it would be like if she was in this relationship in high school? Because I DO THAT ALL THE TIIIIME GIRL SAME

THATS MY WHOLE WORLD SOOOO CUUUUTE

YOU PLAY STUPID GAMES YOU WIN STUPID PRIZES

VOTED

MOST

LIKELY

TO

RUN

AWAY

WITH

YOU

I really like this one. I didn’t expect I would.

This should be a single.

8. Paper Rings

THE VOICE EFFECT

She’s singing so fast on these songs!!!! I CANT KEEP UPP

UH HUH

THATS RIGHT

This is so retro and i loooooooooooooooooooooove it

DIRTY DREAMS??????? TAYLOR PLEASE

OMG THE COLOUR WE PAINTED YOUR BROTHERS WALL

THE PICTURE

THE PICTURE

FROM THE REP MAGAZINES

SDIHGUSHGUKHDZRKUGHKUDZHGUHDZGHDKZHGYIDZJLGJLDJGJSDJGDHZGHLGHLSHGHDG

II LIKE SHINY THINGS

THIS SONG IS SO FUN! ALL THESE SONGS ARE SO FUN!!

Ok baby boy that’s kinda weird but you know what..

....

....

Ok its still weird but maybe it will grow on me

This should be a single.

9. Cornelia Street

HERE IT IS!!! THE FIRST TAYLOR PRODUCED SONG

I NEVER WANT CORNELIA STREET AGAIN?? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?? THEIR WORST FIGHT? ANOTHER RELATIONSIP? QUESTIONS

The storytelling!

Wait......is this about before they ran away together in CIWYW?? Like she thought he didn’t really want her so she was gonna run away alone...but then he was like no i really do lets go

I totally thought that this was the one with the staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town line was from

She ended it with the line she started with (i think)? Ike she used to!

Kinda feel like people hyped this one up too much but i do like it

10. Death by a Thousand Cuts

The piano!!!!

Like a thousand notes a thousand cuts

Look through the windows of this love - like the heart on her eye! I get it I GET IT lmaoooo

If this song was on red it would have the saddest production but on this album its a bop

11. London Boy

IS THAT JOE??? OMG lmao

HER ACCENT LMAOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know if this song is supposed to be as hilarious as i think it is but i really do think its hilarious

What does like a Tennessee Stella McCartney even mean????

I kinda feel like this song is too specific to her life to be relatable so maybe that’s why i feel that way about it?

12. Soon You’ll Get Better

Ok great... so we went from that to the sad one

I have to prepare

I didn’t tell you i was scared....

Cause you have to...

The fact that this is the country song...

I cant

GOD NOW IM CRYING THIS IS SO SAD

That was the only song so far i had to actually stop typing for. God....I’m so sad for her and her family.

13. False God

I can barely take this song in because of what just came before.

But i really like it. And i really like the theme of religion on this album

14. You Need to Calm Down

NOW YNTCD IS PLAYING

??? IM LITERALLY SOO SAD FROM SOON YOULL GET BETTER STILL

I CANT

PROCESS

THIS

This album is literally all over the place, i keep trying to assign a narrative to it and its not working out so I’m just gonna give up

Sometimes albums are just collections of songs and not a coherent, linear story and that is ok! Even if its not what i prefer

It certainly didn’t bother me on her first few albums.

The one thing i take away from this is like...no wonder she’s so determined to be so overly positive, i think for her its that or break down crying in the face of what’s happening in her family

15. Afterglow

I really love this song!!! Hashtag relatable

......

Man..you can really tell even just from my typing that my heart isn’t in this anymore after that song

Like

Fuck

I think I’m just sad for me too, because i know that i will go through that too sooner rather than later and I already have friends dealing with losing a parent.

16. ME!

My only thought on this is god bless brendon Urie for injecting so much additional joy and energy into this song and making Taylor happy, i just get the vibe that she really needed that

ALSO WHAT THERES REALLY NO HEY KIDS SPELLING IS FUN

TAYLOR EXPLAAIAIIIIIIIAIAIIAN

We’ll see if its on my physical cd copies when they arrive...if not then maybe it was always planned to be a line only in the single version

17. It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Ok I don’t really like this song that much but i really like the messages she’s trying to send like...real love feels like hanging out with a childhood bestie, so comfortable

18. Daylight

I WAS LIKE MEH

BUT THE FUCKING BRIDGE

THE BRIDGE

IM EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED

Also something about the chorus reminds me of the chorus of starlight

STEP INTO THE DAYLIGHT AND LET IT GO

YES

I WAS LIKE NO IS THAT NOT A LYRIC??

BUT IT ISTHANK GOD

THE END

YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE

THAT WAS LIKE

MY MANTRA FOR A COUPLE YEARS A WHILE BACK

BECAUSE

I LOVED SO MANY PEOPLE BUT THEY DIDNT LOVE ME

AND I WANTED TO BE DEFINITED BY THE FACT THAT I LOVED THEM NOT THAT HTEY DIDNT LOVE ME

IIIIIIIIIIII

I

IN CONCLUSION:

My feelings are everywhere. Some songs disappointed me but some blew me away - soon you’ll get better is basically the new Never Grow Up for me which is saying a lot. Everything is catchy a hell though even the songs I didn’t like as much. Ultimately i would have liked more songs about varying subject matter esp. self love but as it is, it is still somehow so all over the place. It really just shows how many emotions and phases can be contained within one relationship (i mean I’m assuming every song about a relationship is about joe). I really think that the song about her mom maybe should have been placed somewhere else...I don’t know where I would have put it but that shit is HEAVY. I am so honored that she and her family would share that with us though. I have a million question about how Andrea is doing and if my theory on why tour hasn’t been announced is correct...maybe she will explain more in the interviews/secret session audio we’re getting in the next couple days. I think my favorite song is Lover but that may change. I don’t think any song on here tops my current all time favorite Taylor song though which is CIWYW. That’s a little disappointing but not every song or album has to be my fave! And this album will probably grow on me esp as i hear Taylor’s explanations of it. Rep did. I really did nooott feel good about most of rep at first, it took a few days.

[brownskinsugarplum76]

Everything He Wants, Part 3

Here's the last part of this story. Parts 1 and 2 are here and here. It's NSFW, just lots and lots of smut. 😈😈😈 Thank you, @firethatgrewsolow , for the sanity check! ❤️❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The shower was sweet torture. There was washing up, but Robert also grasped you from behind and fingered you to the edge several times, stopping short of release. You collapsed against his chest, hungry for more, but he just chuckled devilishly and nipped at your neck. “Patience, my dear. We've got all night,” he murmured in your ear. And then you realized what was going on: he intended to let you stew for a while, to make your need grow to greedy, monstrous levels, the same as his did at the concert. You cursed his revenge and were excruciatingly aroused by it at the same time.

You are out of the shower now, dry and naked, on top of the covers and on the phone. You've been gone from home for a few weeks and are laughing with a friend as the two of you catch up. Your body is still on a low simmer of excitement. You're thinking about how the night might end, and you have an agonizing need to find out soon.

Robert stayed behind in the bathroom to dry his hair. He has chosen this moment to return to the bedroom. You are on your stomach and can't see his approach. But soon you feel his fingernails rake up one side of your body, releasing chills along the path. He grasps the phone, wrenches it from your hand, and places it on the receiver.

He kneels beside you, caresses your hair, and murmurs: “Not again. No one else tonight. You're mine.” He tightens his grip on your hair, and you are devoured by a deep kiss that makes you ache all over.

He stands and rolls you onto your back. He climbs on top of you. By the feel of his hot skin on yours, you know his desire is boiling inside of him, too, close to the tipping point.

He doesn't kiss down your body this time, or grace your body with the usual sweet tease of his hands. Rather, he grasps and spreads your legs. “Get ready, lovely girl,” he says with a lick of his lips and a wicked grin, before he begins what you suspect will be your complete undoing.

His tongue slowly canvases your folds, and your head spins. The warmth of his tongue is at odds with the cold, harsh electricity that dances through you from his teasing of your clit.

You begin to stir, but not too much, because he is holding your hips firmly to the bed with one arm on top of you.

He has had mercy on you other times, stopping when your body thrashes and the sensation has become too much to bear, but the roguish  glances he keeps giving you as your breathing quickens and your sighs turn to moans lets you know there is no way out tonight.

The euphoric waves of energy coursing through your body are overpowering. You try to fight it when it starts to be too much, squirming under Robert's grip and wailing.

He connects with your gaze and tuts his disapproval. “That's not going to work tonight, darlin’,” he rasps, pausing for a moment before pressing on.

You realize your only option is to surrender to the part of you that relishes Robert's actions, the part of you that does not share your rational mind's fear of being obliterated by the exhilaration of it all.

The ecstatic feelings build inside of you, higher and stronger than you ever dreamed possible. You lose control and your body convulses. It's a rocky ride on tumultuous waves of pleasure that seem to have no end. These waves are matched by a wave of satisfaction that rushes out of you, warm, sticky, and wet.

A low-level tremor continues in your body as Robert continues. Your powerful orgasm and its steady stream of aftershocks don't seem to be enough for him. It's as though he wants to sear his hunger for you into the depths of your consciousness. To conjure, embrace, and worship the wild spirit of lust inside of you. To prove that he owns that part of you and can manifest it anytime he wants. With every contraction in your body, both of you know he has achieved all of these things. But he doesn't stop.

Two of his fingers easily glide inside of your soaked sex as he continues to lick and suck. His fingers dance wildly, with what you imagine will be the same passion he will share with his cock.

You thrust at his relentless fingers. You can't get enough. You beg for his cock with a whimper that grows into a wail.

“Soon, love,” is the answer you receive. You know instinctively that it's not meant to soothe your frustration, it's a reminder that he is in control, that you are on his schedule of seduction.

Your body has not stopped shaking, and soon you explode again. Your head throbs from the intensity.

“That's right, darlin’, you're getting there.” He shifts to straddle you. The sight of him looming over you--the swell of his broad chest, his arms flexed and hands braced on your hips, his hair spilling over his shoulders--is enough to make your sex throb again.

He grasps his cock and massages the long  shaft before he decides to taunt you with the head. He traces himself over your inner lips and clit, gliding easily over your slick skin. “Mmm… So wet, love. But I'm not convinced you want it badly enough... Let's see how I might change your mind…”

You are so sensitive that the tremors resume as he writes his seduction on the center of your body. You try again and again to position yourself to receive his cock, but he thwarts your efforts. You try to grab his ass, to draw him to where you need him most, but he stops his tease and grasps your hands.

“Over your head,” he says gruffly. You raise your arms and he pins your hands down with one of his before resuming with his cock. You come again soon after, in the midst of your cries of desperation and pleas for him to enter you.

Robert grins smugly. “Hmm, I think you're ready now. Is this what you want, girl?” he asks, plunging halfway inside of you, his hips doling out a series of shallow thrusts. You open your legs wider and utter a barely coherent yes.

“Or, maybe this is what you really want…” He impales you with the rest of his length with one swift motion, lowering himself on top of you with a grunt.

A primal moan is set loose from deep inside of you as you are overwhelmed by his size and the sudden sensation of fullness. You wrap your legs around him. It is exactly what you needed. Your yes is much louder and clearer this time.

You and Robert are ravenous for release and your bodies make an agreement to speed toward what you are both aching for.

He releases his grip on your hands to add a vise grip to your hips. You lock your grasp on his ass, encouraging him to slam into you harder. But from the wild look in his eyes, you know that no encouragement is necessary.

It's clear that his teasing of you is over. He has run out of time for games. He is taking what he needed from you several hours ago at the concert, and he is satisfying your equally gluttonous need at the same time.

His passion hits you like a runaway freight train. He is rapidly putting you out of your misery with unyielding, powerful thrusts that you are more than willing to return.

He nips and sucks on your neck. His hair tickles your collarbone. His lips rove across your neck and settle down on top of your lips, which are parted in your breathless ecstasy. He takes the invitation and soon your tongues are commingling.

You savor the feeling of his big body pressed into yours, the sensation of his sweat languidly seeping into your skin, the smell of his masculine pheromone magic. When he shifts a little to tease your clit with one of his fingers, you lose it all over again.

Your loud moans are your thank-you for every delicious second of control that he has held over you tonight. You imagine that his loud moans are the sound of his inner feral man being tamed as he nears his climax. You increase your efforts to give him what he wants.

“This is exactly what I needed, girl. So fucking good,” he says, framing your face with his large hands as he kisses you ferociously and continues to work you over with his cock.

The tension builds for you. Your stomach tightens, and you arch into Robert even more. He bores his heavy-lidded, lustful gaze into your eyes. You hear his ragged breathing through his open mouth.

“Fuck, I'm going to…”

You don't hear the rest of his wanton declaration, because it has caused a climax to rip through your body. Your eyes close and your mind has gone blank, save for the sound of the final squeals of the bed springs and your heartbeat. But you know that Robert has made good on his promise when you feel him tense and shudder.

He is spent at last and nestles his overheated body on top of yours, his damp curls splayed over your breasts. “Mmmmm… I hate to admit it, but that was worth the bloody wait all night, darlin’,” he purrs as he catches his breath. “But don't make a habit of disappearing on me, yeah? I need my Moby Dick fix from you,” he says. He tilts your head so you are looking into his eyes, and you notice that his usual sweet, mischievous grin has returned.

You are equally exhausted but nod your head in acknowledgment. And just like that, your mind races with thoughts of how you'll give him everything he wants during the next show.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of my stories are here, or search for the hashtag #brownskinsugarplumlibrary

[seazenbones]

Learning how to use Tumblr on my iPad - Stream of consciousness

OK, classes start again tomorrow and I have a brief for posting my Tumblr blogs

First of all, I need to learn how to make bullet points and experiment with what writing 3 to 4 hundred words, per blog feels like

Hmm…, is there a TAB key or bullets in Tumblr

(He looks intently at the screen, but soon a disillusioned frown appears at the side of his mouth)

OK, I guess we have to go old school here and use the space bar

Wait! Stop everything

Emojis, I’ve found emojis; surely I can use an emoji or two to create bullet points

Yes, yes, 👍

OK, I think I’m getting an idea. 💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡

🎧 Sound Production bullet

🎹 Soundtrack bullet

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Teamwork bullet

😵‍💫 I’m at a loss and I just want to run away bullet

🏳️‍🌈 Despite our differences, we worked it out, succeeded and still communicate effectively bullet

It’s wonderful when that happens

📅 Deadlines bullet

🤬 Challenges! (But respectful, objective and dignified) bullet

OK, there are some formatting issues, but I like using the emojis

Keep in mind, that I need to finish writing the bullet point, before I format it

Otherwise, it’s a pain to clean up 🧽

OK, how many words is that

Surely it’s about 300 👎😵‍💫I started getting confused at about 63, or maybe 36 😂

OK, write the blog in a program that ‘word counts’ then import and format for tumblr

Ok. Can I copy and paste this office doc into my tumblr blog

Maybe I’ll be able to keep bulleted formatting and my emojis?

💡

🎹

📅

🧽

Not sure of that yet, but it’s promising!

Now, word count. Do you think I’ll be able to find it? (The very last icon I touched and I touched them all)

Now for the copy and paste, wish me well.

That worked, but the formatting is awful…

OK, this is the best bit yet

While I was over in Office for iPad, I found the word count, took a screenshot, cropped the shot and added an arrow

Computers are genius

I wish I had an iPad when I was young a child

To quote Bob Dylan

“I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now”.

…1 Hour later! Sorry, I had to put some music on…

…and have lunch!

OK, what was I writing about?

Oh yeah, my word count reminder map for easy finding of word counts in Office for iPad

I love computers!

Be creative

Keep safe

Edit 1: Why is this a different font size to the other posts?

Bye for now.

Edit 2: The rubric says I have to have a heading. So, I found out how to bold, italicise, underline, change font size and strikeout text, while I added it.

I love computers!

Edit 3: FYI-Edit view does not correlate to Blog view 🥺

Edit 4: I think I created a new hashtag #mature age student. But, I’m not sure.

Edit 5: Thank heavens for the edit button🪄

Edit 6: No, I didn’t create a new hashtag. I’m so disappointed ☹️. Tumblr didn’t offer a prompt and I was prematurely excited.

[mgkmcblog-blog]

"Social Media in the Philippines is widespread, but what is its impact?"

1. The social networking help in the Philippine election in a way that it is now easier to use, much improved than before with reducing violence and producing honest results.

2. The Asia Foundation helps to be a sponsor in May 2005 the first Philippine Blogging Summit. Human rights-based organizations underwent a training called a Digital Activism wherein it focused on the use of different social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Google Documents, Wordpress, live streaming and mobile activism. This training is to advance their social and political campaigns also to gain public support.

3. Because of the support of USAID, trainings were conducted. First series of trainings in June 2010, 30 out of 37 human rights-based organizations created their official Twitter account while 16 have official Facebook accounts. Monitoring these social media accounts monthly shows that it is continuously active. After that, the Strengthening Human Rights in the Philippines (SHRP) program conducted an Expanded Digital Activism Training in partnership with DAKILA and producing the second series of trainings with over 100 NGOs and key government agencies trained throughout the country. This introduced an online communication plan wherein social networking sites are incorporated.

4. The blog that Ardan Sali of the Bangsamoro Center for Just Peace created was used to design a prototype website of Tiyakap Kawagib. It is a clean and user-friendly interface of the website architecture.

5. The purpose of hashtag #WeWantPnoyTo is to make a call for President NoyNoy Aquino to be aware of the different concerns of advocates. Yes, it is an effective tool to instill advocacy into the stream of public consciousness because it supplements the traditional mode of campaigning to encourage collective action against human rights abuses. Simply, it is an easier way to make people aware in everything that is happening around them being able to do the change for the better.