#hashtag killing myself ! ! !
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HI I AM SORRY I FORGOT TO REPLY TO THIS😓😓 anyway Convulsing and exploding and dying and creaming and dying and creaming a little more and dying OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HIS SMILE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#I LOBE HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i bled out of my pad.#hashtag killing myself#PERIODS I HATE YOU#no i dont even get cramps like Bitch#give me tje full package or NOTHINT#blah blah!#asks#mewtuals#his arms are soooooooo sexy#and the SECOND PICTURE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Im so eepy but my room needs to be cleaned :(
#beep booping#It's what I get for staying up until 3am last night reading knowing I'd have to wake up early this morning 😭#Hashtag killing myself
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i hope ruby gets a well-that’s-alright-then-style notdeath. on the one hand it will make haters mad because oh no not another companion with an impermanent end (and i like to see haters mad) on the other it would require creativity to depict this in a new way + i love all the implications i love the dark fairytale quality of these companion exits i love my un-undead schrodinger’s women
with the way the legend of ruby sunday is titled… legends aren’t usually told about living people. legends are stories of the bygone past, of an age long since over, fictionalised and overgrown with folklore like barnacles sticking to an abandoned shell. there is such a thing as a living legend, but they’re exceedingly rare. the unmistakeable raven’s call in the 73 yards teaser, the trailer’s cut to fifteen crying alone after promising to cherry he’d protect her daughter… the foreshadowing is clear as day…
and yet. there’s one massive HOWEVER. ruby appears in s15: millie’s been spotted on set filming it. which leads me to believe — the doctor isn’t one to take the time travel route and revisit companions that in his future are genuinely dead. that would hurt too much, it would cause unnecessary trauma and could break the timeline. that must mean ruby stays alive in some way. ish. she’s alive and a legend and a mystery. girl-ballad girl-song girl-paradox
here she is, fading out.
p.s.: thesis statement on moffatgirls from the tags i left on somebody else’s post about charley pollard.. well it belongs here since it’s basically the semiotic hurricane swirling around ruby at the moment :)
#on a personal level what interests me about these characters is precisely what gets them labeled as being subject to#misogynistic writing by pop-feminist video-essayists. as an autistic girl* (*ish) however; i find female characters that#aren’t quite ‘normal people’; women who represent an idea or concept or are a puzzle to be solved or a manic pixie dream girl to be#more and in a way far more interesting than a girl-next-door-type universally relatable protagonist#they make for more nuanced stories with more symbolism and more layers of interpretation usually. why should there be realism in a#fantastical narrative? similarly i like characters that are haunting the narrative or dead before it began (big locked tomb fan if you#didn’t know) and like. not to be tvtropes but the lost lenore archetype. dead woman who spurs the hero on to recklessness or revenge.#i identify with that dead girl. the laura palmers of the world. set the story in motion without#necessarily having agency. maybe it’s something to do with my#constant background radiation of passive suicidality. in a fun whimsical way :) i would never kill myself but i don’t want to be a real#person. i want to be objectified but not necessarily in a k*nky s*xual way (that too) in a princess in a tower way#the ultimate femme fantasy innit? there’s something about it. hashtag problematic hashtag conforming to gender roles#10000 tags be upon ye#ruby sunday#millie gibson#doctor who#dw#steven moffat#clara oswald#fifteen#fifteenth doctor#twelveclara#amy pond#charley pollard#river song#donna noble#ncuti gatwa#doctor who meta#jamie.txt#haunting
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if life ever gets hard just remember at least you will never have to be 13 again
#its so funny that i was an active suicide risk from age 12-16 and then i just stopped wanting to kill myself. hashtag Life Goals.#dont get me wrong i had and still have MANY other problems. but like. At least ill never be 13 again. not in this lifetime. God bless.#even aside from my terrible untreated and entirely ignored lifelong mental health problems like being a child is so systemically awful how#do we not have a mass epidemic of teen suicide- oh wait#much to say#oliver talks
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" I can't imagine what it would've felt like to not be able to save the one you love" buck says to his parents, knowing he wasn't able to "save" his parents from their own grief
#9 1 1#9 1 1 on abc#911 spoilers#evan buckley#evan buck buckely#poor guy#buck cant catch a break#buck begins#first time watching#killing myself#hashtag yeah#911#9-1-1
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finally told my mom i dropped out of uni lol um
#driving in to the hospital parking lot & was on the verge of tears#now i feel hashtag terrible and i have an 11h shift . wish me luck#. dan and killing myself. at least im in therapy again#finch chirps
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#this is like 2020 all over again 😭😭😭😭😭#need to kill myself cause no dune but cant kill myself until dune#NOT AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN#dune#hashtag wag sag strong regardless 💪 but hoemygodddddddd i wanna die sooooo bad#txt.me#[SCREAMING]#again absolutely in full 100 % solidarity with and support of the strike . but.#suicide
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having a crush is like poison status effect whenever u have to think.
#my ocs#hello yes see i draw#I hate this so much ???????#what the fuck ??????#do u know how much effort I have to put in to not think about it. Like. Should I just kill myself at this point tbh.#and there’s people around me who are purposely trying to get a crush for like. Fun. Why.#this is psychological warfare.#though I guess their goals w crush is have one and never speak to him huh 💭 they just want a guy to think about when bored.#This happened to me by accident 💭 and I am. speaking to him often. I didn’t today though. hashtag winning 💪 (?)#I will get over it. I will speak to no one over midterms week and I will get so over him.#and then I will be so normal platonic about it.#this was supposed to happen in highschool I think I was supposed to get comfortable w this way earlier in life.#I don’t know I don’t care I just need to survive this at this point Jesus Christ.#and hey guess what I was just about to start gushing in this tag it snuck up on me wtf.#I do not want him. (<- affirmations)#I can never let anyone have my Tumblr or my art socials ever god imagine. Anyone seeing this.#it would suck so bad. Guys. I would have to kms.#why did I meet the most attractive and nicest and coolest guy immediately. why is this my first friend in 5 years.#sorry that is gushing huh. god this sucks so bad. I hate. having emotions.#well it’s not gushing it’s like objective fact people will not stop saying he’s won the genetic lottery to his face.#And I get crazy 2nd hand embarrassment every time but also not wrong.#they’re not wrong. ugh. killing myself.#guys why does every tag ramble end this way. guys. why. why am I becoming a real boy I want to be a puppet again actually.#ok. normal time 4 minutes left in movie clean bathroom then sneepy time and I will do so good not thinking about him and will sleep immedia
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CANT believe people like the porn i wrote thats so embarrassing
#i mean i like it kinda but still#hashtag dies#hashtag kills myselfs#no one should read what iw rite ever
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what if i was a puddle on the floor . what then
#/neg#if i could STOP having the worst nights known to man that would be GREAT#like what do you MEAN i want to kill myself i was having such a great time earlier#ugh our body hurting is NOT HELPING . i feel like shit#not putting this in my main text tag . this is very obviously mine .#uh . hashtag vent#vent
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im gonna . oh my GOD .
#thayne yaps#sad face :c#hashtag killing myself ! ! !#<- slash jay i am not rlly upset just . overwhelmed oh my gosh#i am shaking quite a bit .
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#beeep#not to be hashtag annoying and melodramatic but its hot and i have no ac and i had the window open#and a fan going to try and get in the air#but then my chest started hurting so bad like stabbing pains yknow. and then i figured out why a few mins later.#smellt the cigarette smoke#and i cant plug it into any other window because the cable isnt long enough#and ive been coughing for like ten minutes and im so tired and too hot and what if i killed myself Lol!!!!!!!#i dont want to be hot. i also want to breathe. this sucks!!!!!!!!! i hate teh worlddddd
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i feel like im too affectionate
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#Yup #My hand slipped and i fucking murdered my object wife in cold blood
#imgonna shoot myself i feel so fucking bad#idont even know if yheres any way to fix it .KILL EVERYOBE#hashtag Yeaup hashtag I see her fucking corpse every time i look in my backpack
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guess what i've been playing lately <3
[image description: three pencil drawings featuring characters from baldur's gate 3. the first is of the artist's original character, carxes. he is a tiefling with black sclera, long curly hair, and ram horns. he also has a scar over his right eye. the second is in a simpler style, featuring astarion grinning widely. the third is of astarion and carxes, looking at each other, with astarion being slightly shorter than carxes. astarion grins, baring his fangs, while carxes frowns at him. /end description]
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion ancunín#<= i've been told that that's his full name <3#carxes#<= that's him i prommy he looks different because of the character creation in baldur's gate 3 <3 i'm playing as him because. why not <3#might bring it closer to his actual design actually. should i do another tag for bg3 carxes.#Hm. No. i Shan't. look at my boy boy <3#tav#<= i suppose. on that hashtag grindset <3#art tag#image description#second one was done real quick to get his design down <3#first attempts looked like white ru'en with short hair. orz#goes without saying that this isn't canon. carxes would have probably let that meeting play out and then left. no time for that <3#however as my character he is subject to my whims. and i've got. Brain Rot <3#but i'm trying to romance astarion as carxes if that makes sense. no walkthroughs to optimise astarion's approval.#carxes is going to do good things for goodness' sake and astarion will disapprove which will be fine <3 it's enrichment for them <3#i'm still pretty early in though. like literally just met astarion. i'm setting up my account on my brother's gaming computer#so i can actually. see the things on the screen. since i've been killing my laptop trying to play this game. orz#i Will finish it within the decade. i swear to god. no spoilders please thank youuu <3 i'm trying to go in blind#which is rare since usually i don't give a shit. i'm going to try to discover things for myself though so <3#also one thing i like about bg3 is how similar it is to d:os2. virtually identical gameplay i love it when things are the same <3
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Can i be so fr sometimes when u post oli i genuinely think hes jacob alpharad for a solid few seconds. blond white man with beard syndrome </3
that’s so fair yeah. they’re scarily similar looking the only difference is oli has a lamer hair part. and his roots are usually showing
#funnily enough they both live in my brain hashtag system moment#10piecetalks#i miss him so bad crunch i need to kill myself
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