#hashtag killing myself ! ! !
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sirinoya · 17 days ago
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the awkward moment when you record wato elaborating about her unstable u character and giving little details and talking about what direction she’d take a main character arc for uu wato so you can use it for fic inspo later and the recording saves with no audio
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bedforddanes75 · 4 months ago
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HI I AM SORRY I FORGOT TO REPLY TO THIS😓😓 anyway Convulsing and exploding and dying and creaming and dying and creaming a little more and dying OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HIS SMILE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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pronounrespector · 8 months ago
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Im so eepy but my room needs to be cleaned :(
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soundfil3yy · 21 days ago
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redraw of the first piece i posted here ♡
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dandelionjack · 10 months ago
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i hope ruby gets a well-that’s-alright-then-style notdeath. on the one hand it will make haters mad because oh no not another companion with an impermanent end (and i like to see haters mad) on the other it would require creativity to depict this in a new way + i love all the implications i love the dark fairytale quality of these companion exits i love my un-undead schrodinger’s women
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with the way the legend of ruby sunday is titled… legends aren’t usually told about living people. legends are stories of the bygone past, of an age long since over, fictionalised and overgrown with folklore like barnacles sticking to an abandoned shell. there is such a thing as a living legend, but they’re exceedingly rare. the unmistakeable raven’s call in the 73 yards teaser, the trailer’s cut to fifteen crying alone after promising to cherry he’d protect her daughter… the foreshadowing is clear as day…
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and yet. there’s one massive HOWEVER. ruby appears in s15: millie’s been spotted on set filming it. which leads me to believe — the doctor isn’t one to take the time travel route and revisit companions that in his future are genuinely dead. that would hurt too much, it would cause unnecessary trauma and could break the timeline. that must mean ruby stays alive in some way. ish. she’s alive and a legend and a mystery. girl-ballad girl-song girl-paradox
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here she is, fading out.
p.s.: thesis statement on moffatgirls from the tags i left on somebody else’s post about charley pollard.. well it belongs here since it’s basically the semiotic hurricane swirling around ruby at the moment :)
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#on a personal level what interests me about these characters is precisely what gets them labeled as being subject to#misogynistic writing by pop-feminist video-essayists. as an autistic girl* (*ish) however; i find female characters that#aren’t quite ‘normal people’; women who represent an idea or concept or are a puzzle to be solved or a manic pixie dream girl to be#more and in a way far more interesting than a girl-next-door-type universally relatable protagonist#they make for more nuanced stories with more symbolism and more layers of interpretation usually. why should there be realism in a#fantastical narrative? similarly i like characters that are haunting the narrative or dead before it began (big locked tomb fan if you#didn’t know) and like. not to be tvtropes but the lost lenore archetype. dead woman who spurs the hero on to recklessness or revenge.#i identify with that dead girl. the laura palmers of the world. set the story in motion without#necessarily having agency. maybe it’s something to do with my#constant background radiation of passive suicidality. in a fun whimsical way :) i would never kill myself but i don’t want to be a real#person. i want to be objectified but not necessarily in a k*nky s*xual way (that too) in a princess in a tower way#the ultimate femme fantasy innit? there’s something about it. hashtag problematic hashtag conforming to gender roles#10000 tags be upon ye#ruby sunday#millie gibson#doctor who#dw#steven moffat#clara oswald#fifteen#fifteenth doctor#twelveclara#amy pond#charley pollard#river song#donna noble#ncuti gatwa#doctor who meta#jamie.txt#haunting
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sammygender · 2 months ago
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if life ever gets hard just remember at least you will never have to be 13 again
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booberism · 8 months ago
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" I can't imagine what it would've felt like to not be able to save the one you love" buck says to his parents, knowing he wasn't able to "save" his parents from their own grief
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parkeryangs · 5 months ago
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finally told my mom i dropped out of uni lol um
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compassmili · 2 months ago
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I kinda really hate how I've been treated throughout my life
#Entire life of abuse and neglect and mistreatment only to always be told none of it happened. To the point where I really struggle with#thinking that I made it all up or that I'm overreacting or faking or playing the victim constantly#I honestly try my best to move forward and I want to be happy. I see absolutely zero point in wallowing. Others can if they wish‚ but I wan#to enjoy my life at some point. I think I've gotten better the past year- In great part of my dearly beloved- but it's still so#deeply difficult. Interactions so commonly feel like a trap and there is the perpetual sense of being watched and monitored#I often feel like a prey animal that is cornered and my only options are to take it in fear and die or to lash out and hurt the other party#I think I'm not as mean as others in this system though LMFAO. I'm not like Roxas who once compared a friend of ours to our parents during#an argument.#<- Not to say Roxas is a bad person. He's a severely hurt and traumatized kid who kinda only knows how to lash out to protect himself#Sighs. It's complicated. I do not wish to be someone angry like Roxas or Lexi. But they actually talk back and stand up for themselves. And#the system as a whole. Whereas I fawn and take it and then wonder why I always want to kill myself 24/7#I don't really know how to speak up for myself because it really feels like every single time I do (Or just voice an opinion confidently in#a group) it goes horribly wrong and people get upset and angry with me#And then people being angry at me causes major fucking spirals because it reminds me of my mother and then I start feeling like I'm going t#be fucking berated and have a metal crate thrown at me again 😭😭😭 Or get kicked out of the car or given the silent treatment etc etc etc#Which is a me problem I need to get over my fear of people being mad at me because it's an inevitable fact of life but. Hashtag severely#traumatized and still actively being traumatized by multiple parties#And also being in my own head and existing is very fucking harmful! Being in a mind that is so aggressive and destructive... It's difficult#to just 'get over' my issues‚ you know? So whenever they come up I try to just isolate so I don't cause any issues#<- Unless it's my histrionic stuff acting up. Then I'm complaining like hell because it feels actually fucking painful to not be receiving#attention during those breakdowns#Anyways! I kinda fucking suck and hate myself right now and want to kms. But that's how I am 24/7 so whatever#tw suicide#⛪️
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vaaaaaiolet · 25 days ago
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talking about begum rokeya with my mom before bed and i forget how much of the world she's seen before me
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cptsimmons · 10 days ago
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houli*hawk post welcome to korea
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1796samuel-seabury1729 · 21 days ago
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" ALL I CAN HOPE FOR IS FOR ME TO GET BETTER , CUZ ALL I CAN TAKE IS NO MORE . "
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yamikawaii · 22 days ago
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OHBYEAH GUYSS.YOULL NEVER BELIEVE THIS
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NEW GUY FOR US TO KILL
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wulfhalls · 2 years ago
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inkats · 4 months ago
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having a crush is like poison status effect whenever u have to think.
#my ocs#hello yes see i draw#I hate this so much ???????#what the fuck ??????#do u know how much effort I have to put in to not think about it. Like. Should I just kill myself at this point tbh.#and there’s people around me who are purposely trying to get a crush for like. Fun. Why.#this is psychological warfare.#though I guess their goals w crush is have one and never speak to him huh 💭 they just want a guy to think about when bored.#This happened to me by accident 💭 and I am. speaking to him often. I didn’t today though. hashtag winning 💪 (?)#I will get over it. I will speak to no one over midterms week and I will get so over him.#and then I will be so normal platonic about it.#this was supposed to happen in highschool I think I was supposed to get comfortable w this way earlier in life.#I don’t know I don’t care I just need to survive this at this point Jesus Christ.#and hey guess what I was just about to start gushing in this tag it snuck up on me wtf.#I do not want him. (<- affirmations)#I can never let anyone have my Tumblr or my art socials ever god imagine. Anyone seeing this.#it would suck so bad. Guys. I would have to kms.#why did I meet the most attractive and nicest and coolest guy immediately. why is this my first friend in 5 years.#sorry that is gushing huh. god this sucks so bad. I hate. having emotions.#well it’s not gushing it’s like objective fact people will not stop saying he’s won the genetic lottery to his face.#And I get crazy 2nd hand embarrassment every time but also not wrong.#they’re not wrong. ugh. killing myself.#guys why does every tag ramble end this way. guys. why. why am I becoming a real boy I want to be a puppet again actually.#ok. normal time 4 minutes left in movie clean bathroom then sneepy time and I will do so good not thinking about him and will sleep immedia
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witchof-hearts · 2 months ago
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CANT believe people like the porn i wrote thats so embarrassing
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