#hasan end of tiktok

[the-phantom-author]

Hasan Piker | long-term gf

Yes, these were made at 1am while I was eating rice krispie treats. Reblogs always welcomed, request are open.

You meet Hasan toward the end of him working at The Young Turks in late 2019, when the two of you talked about his streaming and other social media, the both of you agreed that you wouldn’t physically be on them but he's more than allowed to talk about you.

You move in with him during lockdown. It wasn’t really lockdown yet when you first planned on moving, but he needed to move into a new apartment and neither of you really wanted to go through lockdown without the other. So, the two of you decided that it was a good time to move in together anyway.

It was during lockdown that you really got to know his mother, as she did live with the two of you. It was also during this time that chat got their first bits of information and glimpses of you. It was nothing huge or anything, there would be times that they see you leaving the apartment to go to work or get groceries. They could faintly hear you talking/cooing at Fish. They’d see throw blankets around the house, ask about them, and Hasan would respond with “My girlfriend gets cold easily” and move on.

Hasan is very careful with how he navigates your hidden relationship while online. One thing is for sure though, and that he’s so respectful of it. Like, he makes his “I’m fucking your mom” jokes as he does, but as soon as someone makes a joke that just a bit to suggestive he says “I have a girlfriend.” and move the conversation alone, not letting it go there again. The whole “Hasan Positivity Week” thing would be very “Flattered, but no.” He’s not letting any amount of disrespect go your way.

That said, if someone linked him one of your tiktoks, where you’re just like “I would totally drop my long term boyfriend for Hasan Piker, I mean look at him." Coupled with a bunch of photos of him that are from your personal camera roll. He is most definitely just sitting there, looking.

The way that he talks about you on stream though is very 🥰🥰. Like, someone in chat asked how yall met and he just said “She grinned, and everything about her was perfect, and I fell in love instantly". There are several times where he absentmindedly says “we” instead of “I”. Like “We’re going on a trip later this month” or “”We’re going out for dinner, so the stream is ending early.”

During this time you are soft launching, and by this time I mean the whole relationship. It’s vague pictures of him, pinterest like photos of coffee cups that have his hands and ring in them, pictures of furniture with his clothes in the background, you in tiktok wearing his hoodies or necklaces.

It is also after covid where chatter starts getting suspicious. They see the same woman in pictures from Austin, Ludwig, Will, and the lot , often in the background or barely there. Chat asks them all about her/you and they say nothing about it. Ethan mansions Hasan’s “special lady” far too much on leftovers to just be some kind of bit.

This is when chat starts to do some digging, they put the photos from and of you together with the photos of the mystery lady in the pictures from everyone. This prompts a discussion between you and hasan about what to do with introducing you to the internet.

It is decided that Hasan should start to soft launch you and this is what is fully intended to happen, however Hasan doesn’t know the definition of soft launching. He really just post a picture of the two of them together on iInstagram. The very next day the stream is just titled “Partner Reveal” and when the stream opens it’s just you, in his chair.

Chat soon realizes that the two of you are the duo they never knew they needed. Banter off the walls, and undeniable chemistry. There are a few portions of his stream that he automatically goes to get you and ask if you want to join the stream for it. Like if he ever starts to watch something that pertains to an interest of yours, true crimes, jubilee, those conspiracy videos he's watched a few times, or these 2000's reality TV shows,.

He'll even have specific subjects that he knows you know about in a non-political way, that he'll bring you in for. Just so he can have a normies opinion on it. A normie that he trust.

[mushroomhattime]

Hasan Piker Midwest Princess Chapter 1, Trauma! at the Gay Bar

This is the first chapter of a fic I've been frankensteining from a non related series of one shots I never intended on posting but once it reached fifty pages I was like, I feel like its more psycho if I don't post it? Mad respect to all of the work Hasan does; fanfic is a coping mechanism, sorry to this man. If I didn't see that podcast episode of him telling the TikTok edit people he doesn't care I would not have posted. I'll post a (y/n) version soon. My first slow burn! Well ig you can decide if its slowburn lol.

Warnings: Slight homophobia, bad date, swearing, allusion to older sibling trauma, x OC but will post a y/n

Forty five minutes before:

“You’re meeting him alone? And you drove there? Where did you park? How far is your walk? Are you armed? I shouldn’t need to say this but we are not in Kansas anymore, Dorth-” The audio is crackling through one damaged earbud but the gist is communicated well enough to be annoying.

“Yeah you’re right, you don’t need to say this. I literally wrote those things down in a packet for you. It’s in a garage, we’re meeting in a public place, he’s gay, I’m literally almost there now, and I have everything that I send in my bi-annual safety package.” It was a bit biting, but nothing anyone wasn’t used to. “I’m going to forgive your attitude because you’re just not used to it, but it's high time I start parenting you instead.” The woman being scolded lets out a scoff, but decides to let it go. “Okay, I gotta go, love you.” As if knowing she was on the way to hang up, the girl on the line speaks lightning fast:  “Love you, I’m serious, text me. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Their call ends and the man in question is immediately visible upon entering, as it is too early for fog, strobes, colored lights, or dancers. He was sat in a booth, wearing noticeably much different hair and clothes than usual with a look of concern.  She approaches, more curious than scared. “Hey Matt, how are you?”

Now:

This little outing really was not going to plan. Here she was, thinking what a great networking connection, I wonder why he took an interest in me, he must have a project in mind. Now, the two sat awkwardly, twiddling their thumbs and looking at the table between them as a massive misunderstanding had just unfolded not even a half hour in. Despite still hanging in the wake of an argument, the man on the south side of the booth elects to open his mouth again.

"I cannot fucking believe you thought I was gay. Why would you even say to me, Vivian?" This did not go over well with his audience. Vivian looked up from her now ripped up napkin, eyes bulging and mouth agape. She was really reaching for a way to be nice in spite of everything, in the not-so-rare case this comes back to bite her. It took a lot of effort to hold back her flabbergasted laughs in her rebuttal.

"I'm sorry, Matt. You’re obviously offended. But, I just used context clues: this is an internationally notorious gay bar." She motions around the place as the scantily clad, male dancers start their shift with her hand. The resulting look on Matt's face could be described as potent horror. After a moment, he shakes it off and his face relaxes, like he had just reloaded back to a point in the night where nothing had ever happened. "You know what, I can forgive you. Let's just get outta here and go somewhere where there's people I can show you off to." Matt had a wide grin on his face. He must’ve felt ingenious, but now it's Vivan's turn to wretch. There was no other direction to go. She almost starts laughing again when she says, "Um, I agreed to meet you alone under the pretense that you were gay and on business. On what planet does that mean I’d want to go out with you?"

Thankfully, Vivian had the foresight to start texting under the table since the beginning of the straight reveal. Even more convenient than calling her smug sister back, she had noticed her (hopefully) savior earlier, who she’d been to this bar with before. She hadn't checked if he’d be in town at the time because of work and family plans on top of her being too nervous to meet his friends that she’d definitely be introduced to. But now, it was clear one fear was worse than the other. This is the text conversation they had while she tried to navigate this tantrum:

V: Austin

A: Vivvvv!!

V: Are you at The Abbey rn?

A: omg how did you know did someone post something?

V: No I'm here can I come over there

A: WHAT

V: this guy from work invited me I assumed he was gay bc he suggested it but its bad

A: NO NOT THAT of course you can come over, come over now, I'm just shocked you DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME YOU WERE COMING.

Seconds later and without further coordination, Austin starts yelling, creating the perfect excuse to leave just as she starts gathering her things post rejection.

"GUYS, VIVIAN IS HERE. YOU GET TO MEET VIVIAN!!!!!" Followed by several gasps and chatter. She whipped around to 'see what the noise was.' When she turns back to Matt Vivian starts speaking at hyper speed. "Oh my God, that's my friend Austin! I should say hi. I Gotta go, thanks for the drink!" And she was out of there before he could say a word about how obvious that was. 

Through the suddenly large crowd of people it took her a second to reach Austin’s group but as soon as she did the aforementioned introductions began. "Guys, this is my best friend Vivian, we met in college! She's helped with some of my shows before.” He names every member off before getting out of the booth and patting the seat cushion. She sends him a questioning glance when he doesn’t just scooch over, but he doesn’t give her any time to ask. “I'm so excited, you turned up at the perfect time. We're pre-recording the podcast this week before the convention in Japan, so everyone is around." Once she climbed in, he followed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and sandwiching her between him and a friend.

The girls seem friendly enough but the guilt, especially from having seen any amount of their content before, persisted. "I'm so sorry to intrude. I was trying to find a way to escape the guy I'm with and then I saw you guys." After ingesting and enjoying some of their work to support Austin, it was difficult for Vivian to not feel like a fan interrupting their night for a picture. However, she did find a little relief in Maya, QT, and Caroline in unison all saying things like: "Of course!", "Don't be sorry!", and "It's nice to finally meet you!". While she was busy learning everyone's names, or more like acting, Austin decided to glance around for the perpetrator. He locked eyes with a man getting out of the booth he saw her leave from. He shakes his head when he starts heading their direction, and Matt changes course for the door without much more persuasion. Maya notices, but he motions for her to say nothing.

-------

To Vivian's surprise, it ended up being a really fun, guilt free night. Now, it was almost one in the morning and all had begun to trail out after agreeing on another day to get together in a couple months during her next work trip. Only Vivian and Austin were left. She insisted on driving him home, trying to be alone for as little time as possible. On the way to her rental car, they chatted about how excited he was to ingratiate her into his friend group, and that tonight was a great start, better than he’d imagined. Well, that's what she'd translated it to mean, anyway. 

Once the two were in, she peaked over to his side to make sure he'd buckled as she talked. "Okay, where are you staying, babe?" Her voice made him jump in his seat, exposing his lack of attention. "hmmmmmmm?" She reiterates, "Which hotel are you staying at?" Austin takes a bit too long to answer. "I'm not." He sounds a little devious. "You're not?" She sounds a little confused. "It's Hasan's ho-HIC-use. Hasan's house. Another one off the-the list. The friend list." Austin hiccups in the middle of his sentence, rolling around trying to get his phone out of his back pocket. Vivian tried not to act caught off guard by this news. He had started staying there more recently, she knew that. There was no reason for alarm, it shouldn’t be any different than meeting his other friends. It was already surprising that she hadn't met him or anyone else already. Brief phone calls with Austin on speaker had revealed her existence to them; she's not a foreign concept to anyone. It would be fine. Besides, Hasan said on the podcast a couple of days ago that he goes to bed really early so she might not even get a glimpse of him. She decided to not tell Austin she knows that and just typed in the address as he eventually gets through saying it.

The ride was enjoyable, Austin didn’t puke, and he didn’t complain about her music choices either. She hadn’t had to get through a neighborhood gate by herself in a while, but the real hard part came after parking the car; Getting Austin out and through the door. She tried to support him with her shoulder the best she could and managed to get him up on the porch. “Just remember, if you.. If you see Hasan, he isn’t mean. He just is like that - oh my god where is my key?!” Unfortunately, he had gone into all his pockets while talking to find said key, but it wasn’t there. Frantic searching obviously ensues. Every pocket on Austin's body checked twice, every crevice of the car, all over the sidewalk, and the grass. 

In a fleeting moment of clarity, Vivian cuts off his panicked rambling to make the suggestion to just call Hasan and figure out the rest in the morning. "Oh yeah, duh." It takes a lot of energy to keep calm. If he lost the key that means anyone could have it. What if it was stolen? Or worse, stolen by a fan? Is this supposed to be his first impression of her? That she, the DD, let a stranger steal the key to his home? It doesn’t matter if those thoughts are ridiculous, what if he’s ridiculous? It’s not like she really knows anything about him.

Austin calls him and puts it on speaker and the sound interrupts her spiral; it rings a couple of times and Vivian almost loses all hope until a deep, gravelly groan radiates from the phone at the last second. She pretended to not have heard it. Austin explained, Hasan was irritated, reasonably, but agreed to come down after waking up enough to realize there was no other option. They stood there silently, like two kids in trouble, waiting for the door to swing open.

It did. "Austin you are a fucking idiot. The key is on the kitchen counter." Is the first thing he said when he saw him. Vivian was exasperated. “Thank fucking god, I thought someone stole it”. She covered her face in her hands as she spoke. When she revealed herself, Hasan realized her presence for the first time; caught off guard, he let his face change for a second. Displeasure, recognition, just surprise? Vivian let it slide as per the advice of her friend earlier. Austin raised an eyebrow, but carried on anyway. "Hey hey hey! None of that is true. Hasan, this is the Viv I’m always talking about. Can she come over tomorrow?" Hasan pauses before offering his hand. “Yeah.. I remember.” She accepts, shaking softly and smiling up at him. They both chuckle at Austin as they do. During the greeting, she notices for the first time that Hasan had opened the door wearing nothing but pajama pants, which you know, is an odd outfit to be shaking someone's hand in, is all.

"I was wondering if we’d ever meet you." Vivian blushes, and agrees with him. Hasan, on his never ending quest to become the world's greatest host that she’d heard all about, offered to have her stay since it's so late. She politely declines on reflex, explaining her hotel wasn't that far and that she had work in the morning. Which was mostly true. After that, Austin hugs her goodbye and shimmies behind Hasan saying something, probably incoherent, under his breath. The sight amused her enough to distract her from Hasan’s reaction to what was mumbled. His ungraceful footsteps serve as background noise for the rest of the conversation. "If you're sure. I guess see you tomorrow then?" His face reads so earnestly she struggles for a moment, wondering why Austin would ever leave her alone like that. "Yeah, of course. Thanks." Hasan begins his retreat back into the house, and she's glad to have received a cue and starts to turn around as well, waving.

"Hey. text Austin's phone so we know you got home okay." She glances back to agree before picking up the pace back to her car, face burning for what she elements is no reason. In the distance she can hear muffled yelling and laughter.

-----

The next morning Hasan carried on his early routine to breakfast, then to basketball, then back to the house as per usual. That was until the sound of crashing around upstairs reminded him of last night. He just hoped that he had come off the right way to Vivan. Austin’s faces and teasing mutters did not help, but he’d already been told a few times before that he doesn’t tend to make the greatest first impressions. Even though he had thought carefully about this one in advance, it still managed to take him by surprise. In a sleepy haze, in the middle of the night, and barely clothed no less. If he didn’t do okay that night, he was going to have to deal with the consequences for at least one depressing, awkward night, or maybe even more.

Eventually, he and Austin crossed paths in the house and Hasan had the chance to try and calm some of his nerves. "What are we gonna do with Viv today?" Hasan sat at the counter, watching his friend rummage around in the fridge. He sipped his coffee, ignoring that he could not get his knee to stop bouncing. "Uhhh." The key word was “try.” He made an effort to not to sound frustrated; obviously Austin thought that they would get along just fine and was not worried at all about being a diligent liaison, which was good, he supposed. Yet, this was as much as he could muster: "You invited her over to my house with no plans?" Austin chuckled at his friend's perpostered tone, wiggling his shoulders around in a way that suggested he may be making something up on the fly. "Well first off, I was drunk, and second… I'd like to, to, to - to give her a tour of your lovely home!" Austin sets up shop for breakfast on the other side of the island very nonchalantly and Hasan now has to hide his embarrassment. "I am not doing that." 

Austin cracked an egg into a pan, smirking. He decides to poke the bear. "Give me one reason why." Hasan gestures wildly with his hands in confusion, and the other just sits there, enjoying how the tables have turned for once. "What do you mean?? How is that not embarrassing?" He rolled his eyes. "I said I'm doing it, not you. You can hide your shame in your office until it’s over - Oh! and then I'm definitely taking her out to a fancy dinner. Anyone can come, but when I see her I like to buy her nice dinner. Then she asked me a while ago if she could teach me Mario Kart so I need a copy of the new one. You have a switch right?" Despite the greasy spatula being pointed at him as a gesture, Hasan manages to find some solus in any sort of established structure for the day.

“Oh, speak of the devil, she texted me, will you read it?” The spatula returns to point at Austin’s phone on the other side of the kitchen island. Hasan grabs it with a light grunt, returning his glasses to his eyes. “Austin, my sister and I are going to brunch in 2 hours, she says she hasn’t seen you in so long do you want to come.” He barely gets to finish reading it before Austin says, “fuck yeah, say yes.” Hasan types:

A: Austin says “fuck yeah, say yes” - Hasan

V: lol thank you for carrier pigeoning <3, its here tell him he can click on it 

Austin Insta-Carted the game under the advice of Hasan and Google before they separated again. One getting ready for brunch and the other taking a long shower and marinating in his thoughts, wondering if he should make a phone call or if that would be too dramatic.

[ashleyslothlife]

I feel so completely demoralized.  Being a disabled trans person in the US is a hellscape.  I’m immune-compromised and only other leftist disabled people are masking anymore.  If you are a leftist and not wearing a mask, you are shit leftist.  As the amazing Imani Barbarin as talked about on tiktok and twitter American leftist fumbled the ball hard on covid.  (End of what she has said, back to my own words.)  Abled leftist have proven themselves to be completely unserious.  Claiming to care about the science, but as soon the CDC announces that disabled people dying is a positive sign, and Biden decides to change the rules in accordance airline owners requests any concern about real science goes out the window. Covid-19 is a mass disabling event.  The US left has no plan to help people that are being disabled, and that will be.  The US left gives 0 fucks about the currently disable people.  I’ve seen so many disabled activists beg popular leftist to tackle ableism in leftist spaces and they are always ignored. 

Disabled people, who are statically poor, are left with only ourselves to try to help each other.  Watching dudebros like Hasan who pretends to care about trans people, happily support the antisemitic wizard game because he is too cool to care about the harm his actions cause.  Trans and disabled people have no real allies. We are just being left to die, by the people that claim to care about us.  If we dare complain we are “ungrateful” and turning away “good allies.” I’m so tired, it just keeps getting worse. 

[memorymessage]

can we just acknowledge that ethan klein has been on a trajectory of reeling back his left-leaning political beliefs?

saying anyone who believes in economic socialism are virtue signaling

befriending people like bryce hall and defending his maga posting on tiktok and social media

saying it's okay to be friends with maga people, ignoring the fact that these people will vote politicians into power whose policy interests target the removal of human rights for marginalized individuals, and the h3 audience is largely women and lgbtq folk that are the targets of these policies

continually starting onesided fights with hasan since the ending of leftovers

i'm sorry, but that guy deserves to lose every single left-leaning fan he's gained since he started pushing away his anti-SJW right-leaning audience from 2016. that audience is more in line with the belief systems he's now espousing anyway

it's been sad watching h3h3 regress back into the 2016 era

hope he enjoys gaining back the audience he claimed to dislike. he seems to hate his leftist audience, so i'm sure he'll enjoy it plenty

[galacticgarlic]

[Video description and transcript: A clip from a Hasan Piker stream, reposted to TikTok. Hasan is shown at the top of the screen, with the Fox News report he is watching at the bottom. There is a blank section of the screen in between Hasan and the news where captions have been added.

Reporter: She had to quit the fight-

A screenshot of an article appears on screen. It is titled, "Italian Boxer Quits Bout, Sparking Furor Over Gender at Olympics".

Reporter: -because she was scared she was gonna die.

Hasan pauses the video.

Hasan: *yelling* It's combat sports! If you can't take the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen! We're talking about combat sports, bro. You're a fucking loser, dog. What is this conversation that we're having, bro?

*he lowers his voice slightly* Oh, I'm sorry, she punches too hard? What the fuck do you mean? That's the point, dumbass. The ain't a fucking tickle party, bitch.

A sound effect of childlike laughter plays, followed by the TikTok end screen sound.

End transcript]

[samwontshare]

Ms Marvel ep 5:

-Bold of the MCU to make a super dead couple one of their most compelling love stories. How dare you give me Aisha and Hasan only to take them right back.

-I felt like we were gonna do an intergenerational trauma healing story and I love them, keep it up! Did I cry? Absolutely. Compassion and accountability, you had me at hello.

-Kamala’s mom discovering find my phone was hilarious. Her actress is crushing this role - she brings so much levity and heart to Muneeba.

-Kamran’s mom needed vastly more development but my heart did break for him when he said he needed to wait so she could find him.

-Kamran and Bruno, unlikely friends!

-We’re almost to the end and it feels like a lot has to be wrapped up.

-Kamala is having a super bad week. Unfortunately no one told her that being a superhero requires baskets full of new trauma, so here’s hers all at once. So many murders.

-What’s most interesting to me about Kamala is that unlike other superheroes we’ve seen, she isn’t hyper competent at anything. She’s not kid scientist Peter who gained instant fighting skills overnight. She didn’t train to be the best in her field from childhood. She thought she was just a normal teen who dreamed of being a superhero and then found out everything was way more complicated than it seemed.

She’s good at a lot of things but not extraordinary at any one particular thing. She has powers she barely knows how to use but she has spirit and drive. She’s so out of her depth and keeps on moving, always approaching the situation with flexibility and curiosity. She learns fast on her feet and has an extended support network that helps her succeed. It’s just kind of a cool thing to see. What can’t we accomplish with a few good people in our corner? With support we reach our fullest potential.

-But MCU, Black women bursting into ash in back to back releases? Knock it off.

-MCU I need you to pick a consistent narrative around time travel and stick to it. Now we have a time paradox. 😩

-That sure looked like terrigenesis to me! Inhuman after all?

-I guess Kamala’s just gonna like see Kareem around TikTok. Teen superhero communication is gonna be a blast.

-Wait did they ever explain why Aisha’s name was a horrible thing? Is it bc they assumed she ran off and left Hasan and Sana behind? I think I missed something doing the dishes.

[aot-brainrot]

Wearing one of hasans Hawaiian shirts for a fit and it looks so big on you, specifically on the shoulders. It makes your head look like a green pea while the shoulders flair off the ends of your own towards halfway down your bicep

Hear me out: The most comfortable thing to wear (imo) is an oversized shirt with spandex. I would love nothing more than to wear one of HIS oversized shirts-- which would make it huge on me (and even i'm not that small, so HUH)-- and just a pair of spandex <3 I want to just sit on the couch as he's streaming, doing my own thing. Doing work on my computer, scrolling through TikTok, watching him stream and just SWOON, all while wearing his shirt that smells like him. It's like an endless hug while he's busy.

[biglisbonnews]

Did Kim Kardashian Orchestrate Her Own 2012 Flour Bombing? Remember back in 2012 when Kim Kardashian was pelted with flour by an animal rights activist during the red carpet launch of her own perfume? It turns out that it might have all just been a shrewdly orchestrated publicity stunt.According to a new Channel 4 documentary The Kardashians: A Billion Dollar Industry, the reality star's former media strategist Sheeraz Hasan claimed that the incident was actually a planned "media moment" to promote Kardashian’s fragrance True Reflection. Related | Kim Kardashian Divides Fans With Deleted TikTok of Dogs in GarageThe flour bombing incident, which was famously captured in season 7 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, was originally blamed on People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). The animal right's organization had previously decried Kardashian for wearing fur, and the assailant even allegedly shouted "fur hag" as they threw the baking ingredient onto her. At the time, Kardashian claimed to have no knowledge that it would happen, describing it to E! as “probably the craziest unexpected… thing that ever happened to me.” She even went on to jokingly say to her makeup artist, "I wanted more powder, and that’s a whole lot of translucent powder right there.”However, Hasan claims that he had pitched the idea to Kardashian as a way to drum up publicity. “‘Okay, this is what’s going to happen. You’re going to be fine, you’re going to be safe, but we’re going to create a media moment,’” the media strategist recalls telling the fashion mogul when explaining the idea behind the stunt. “‘If we create media gold, guess what’s going to happen? Everyone’s going to be talking about your perfume, everyone’s going to buy it.’”According to Hasan, Kardashian and her team discussed the flour bombing prior to the perfume launch and even had gotten her blessing before executing the plan. Lending further credibility to the conspiracy, Kardashian ultimately never ended up pressing charges against the attacker who was later released from police custody. PETA also denied any involvement, with the organization's senior vice president Lisa Lange commenting to the New York Post, “Perhaps the bigger reveal is that Kim’s assistant is a secret PETA member?”Photo via Getty/ANGELA WEISS/AFP https://www.papermag.com/kim-kardashian-flour-bombing-2659094352.html

[cutsliceddiced]

New top story from Time: We Watched Every New Show on Quibi. Here’s What to Watch—and What to Skip

Like it or not, Quibi is here. The new streaming platform, launching April 6, offers short-form content—”quick bites,” hence the portmanteau, that run 10 minutes or less. These shows are designed to be watched exclusively on your phone, whether you’re on the subway heading to work or sitting in the waiting room at the dentist’s office—places, in other words, that most people won’t be able to go for some time yet in the era of social distancing. But despite the fact that very few people are, for the moment, on the go, Quibi has held fast to its planned debut, launching, by our count, 50 scripted series, documentaries, reality shows and news programs on April 6 with plans to roll out 175 shows over the course of the year.

Quibi is casting a wide net to court various types of viewers: there are soothing cooking shows designed for the boomer crowd, while celebrity-studded reality series aim to lure Gen Z off of TikTok. Television critics have been busy debating whether the Quibi model signals the end of quality television or the wave of the future. But it’s clear the platform is hoping sheer star power alone will entice some quarantined television lovers to download the app. Jennifer Lopez, Idris Elba, Lebron James, Chance the Rapper and Chrissy Teigen are among the celebrities set to star in Quibi content, and filmmakers like Steven Spielberg, Catherine Hardwicke, Paul Feig, and Guillermo del Toro have content on the upcoming slate.

The streaming service, which also features proprietary new technology that allows viewers to switch seamlessly from landscape to portrait viewing, will cost $4.99 per month with ads and $7.99 without ads, though a 90-day free trial is available if you sign up in April.

Quibi gave journalists a glimpse at some of their content launching on April 6. We watched everything available to screen in advance (in most cases, around three chapters; “Daily Essentials” like news shows were not available in advance as they will cover news as it breaks). If you’re thinking of subscribing, here’s what you should watch and what you should skip.

What to Watch

Gayme Show! (unscripted)

Gayme Show! has a deceptively simple premise: it’s a gay game show. That’s it! Hosted with with aplomb by comedians Matt Rogers and Dave Mizzoni, each episode features two straight contestants competing in gay-themed challenges in an effort to be crowned “Queen of the Straights.” The jokes are plentiful, and if you’re not well-versed in gay Twitter—references to Dua Lipa, Laura Dern’s salmon button-down from Jurassic Park and Cynthia Nixon’s wife whiz by—you might have to Google to catch up. But even if you don’t get every joke, it’s hard not to let out a guffaw watching contestants like Demi Adejuyigbe prance around the stage in a unitard during a game called “notice me father”—actually a bespectacled Rogers softly weeping. The conceit is goofy, silly and exactly what you want it to be—and that’s a great thing. —Kelly Conniff

Nightgowns (documentary)

Lately it seems like everyone who’s ever come within 10 feet of RuPaul’s stage is getting their own show, but don’t hold the deluge of drag content against Sasha Velour, a Drag Race winner who stands out even from that talented pack. While her gender-fluid performances can be transgressive, Velour, who takes a big-tent approach to drag, has a heart of gold. As she adapts her Brooklyn-born revue NightGowns for a bigger stage, this docuseries profiles the queen and an inclusive troupe that features performers with a wide range of identities and styles. Each episode of the show—the only Quibi title I screened that feels particularly suited to the medium—ends with a beautifully shot production number that does Velour proud. —Judy Berman

Prodigy (documentary)

You don’t have to be a sports fan to appreciate this docuseries, which covers a different young elite athlete in each episode. With artful cinematography and well-paced storytelling—especially compared to the frenetic quality of many of the platform’s other shows—Prodigy is less concerned with the specific athletic achievements of its subjects (no. 1 ranked high school basketball player in the U.S., five-time national junior boxing champion) and more focused on the sacrifice and singular dedication of these athletes’ family members. If you cried during that Procter & Gamble Olympics commercial thanking the moms who drove carpools and gave pep talks so that their children could get a shot at the podium, this one is probably for you. —Eliza Berman

Punk’d (unscripted)

This third revival of MTV’s prank show has been winningly updated for millennial and Gen Z sensibilities: it’s slightly more absurdist, slightly less cruel and involves way more animals. YouTuber Liza Koshy ruins a bat mitzvah; rapper Megan Thee Stallion gets attacked by a gorilla. Chance the Rapper—who in the wake of Netflix’s Rhythm & Flow, has rebranded his once-innocent persona to include a mean streak—brings a mischievous energy to hosting duties, and his laugh is infectious. —Andrew R. Chow

The Sauce (unscripted)

Dance—particularly street dance—doesn’t get enough mainstream respect. The Sauce has something to say about that. Each episode pits two dance groups against each other, judged by talented dance duo Ayo and Teo, with the lure of a $25,000 cash prize. The lack of polish is endearing, as is the raw skill on display; you’ll wish you could spend more time just watching these young athletes move their bodies in ways that have no respect for the laws of physics. Kudos to executive producer Usher and the hosts for making sure to explain regional dance styles, as it’s high time these art forms got their due. Constant camera cuts and stylized editing seem best suited for the TikTok generation, but it’s a joy to watch these dancers in motion in any format. —Raisa Bruner

Shape of Pasta (documentary)

Now this is my sort of short content. I’m a devoted Bon Appetit Test Kitchen subscriber, Alison Roman Instagram story watcher and Anthony Bourdain worshipper. So, yes, a show about a chef traveling across tiny towns in Italy to discover forgotten pasta shapes is my jam. I can’t get my head around the tone of this show—it’s extremely self-serious, so much so that it’s maybe supposed to be making fun of other food shows? Or perhaps it’s just one of them. No matter. The show has many nonnas teaching Felix Trattoria chef Even Funke how to make pasta in shapes you’ve never thought of but are centuries-old traditions in picturesque Italian towns. It’s delightful! —Eliana Dockterman

You Ain’t Got These (documentary)

Lena Waithe takes viewers on a thoughtful, well-researched and star-studded tour of the world of sneakers. As the show conveys, sneaker culture is about much more than style. “Your footwear is your ID now in the black community,” Carmelo Anthony tells her; Nas, Run DMC, Hasan Minhaj and a cultural historian reflect on the legacy of icons like Michael Jordan and the relationship between hip-hop and commerce. Questions about branding, exploitation and value are tackled head-on. For sneakerheads it might be mostly recap, but it’s still fun to hear Rev Run reminisce about securing his Adidas deal—and for everyone else, it works as a solid introduction to a foundational part of contemporary American culture. —Raisa Bruner

What to Try

Chrissy’s Court (unscripted)

In this ode to Judge Judy, Chrissy Teigen rules over petty cases brought by local randos. Each episode is extremely dependent on the personalities of the plaintiff and defendant. Most of the “contestants” are actively awkward (or actually mad, which is bizarre given the TV show’s unserious premise), and Chrissy and her mother Vilailuck Teigen (as bailiff) have to work double-time to counteract their discomfort. The humor often feels forced. Chrissy’s Instagram is more entertaining—at least there, she has total control over the cast of characters, namely her husband John Legend and their two kids, all of whom are way more natural in front of the camera. That said, if you like Teigen and are already churning through her Instagram stories every day, this is a fine way to get some more. —Eliana Dockterman

Fierce Queens (documentary)

Reese Witherspoon narrates mini wildlife documentaries made with BBC Studios Natural History Unit, each focused on the female members of a species. Some of the lines veer into cheesy girl-power territory: “Getting that belief in yourself and gaining confidence: that’s what growing up is all about. These big cats totally nailed it. Walk tall, fierce queens!” she sings out after a surface-level episode about adolescent cheetah sisters. But thanks to truly beautiful footage and surprising subject choices—unless you already know all about the life cycle of the ruthless, cannibalistic queen honeypot ant?—viewers who want a quick hit of nature and some new fun facts about animals will be satisfied. —Raisa Bruner

Flipped (scripted)

After one episode, this one looked like it would fall squarely in the “skip” bucket: two incredibly annoying self-anointed visionaries, a married theater director (Will Forte) and Home Depot-esque associate (Kaitlin Olson), are both deservedly fired from their jobs for asserting their own artistic purity over things like appropriate subject matter for tween thespians (in his case) and customer service (in hers). (Think the kind of kooky, self-serious characters you’d find in a Christopher Guest movie, minus the great ensemble to balance them out.) But a hastily paced sequence of events—they decide to try to be house flippers, buy a foreclosed-upon property and find stacks of cash in its walls, which turn out to belong to a drug cartel—leads to the introduction of Broad City‘s Arturo Castro as an organic-apple-eating overlord, which might just elevate this bonkers ordeal from grating to promising. —Eliza Berman

Gone Mental with Lior (unscripted)

The mentalist Lior Suchard lacks the theatricality or scale of other famous magicians like David Blaine or Criss Angel, making him perhaps the perfect match for a low-stakes platform like Quibi. It’s agreeable enough to watch him catch basketballs while blindfolded or exactly guess the number of coins in Ludacris’ hands, but his tricks won’t haunt your dreams, either. —Andrew R. Chow

I Promise (documentary)

By all accounts, LeBron James’ I Promise School in his hometown of Akron, Ohio, has been a resounding success: Its students, who were picked to attend after underachieving in the city’s public school system, are testing better and seem to be thriving in their new environment. This show, however, comes off as a surface-level feel-good advertisement for the school. —Andrew R. Chow

Run This City (documentary)

Jaseil Correia grew up with the dream of becoming the mayor of his hometown, Fall River, Mass.—a city of around 90,000 most famous as the home of Lizzie Borden. At the remarkably young age of 23, he achieved it. But what sounds at first like an uplifting story of millennial striving turns dissonant when Correia is indicted on fraud and extortion charges. It’s an intriguing story that could have made for a fascinating hourlong documentary. Unfortunately, the Quibi format requires director Brent Hodge (I Am Chris Farley) to chop the saga into equal-sized, eight-minute “bites” that drag in the middle before ramping up to exaggerated cliffhangers. The result is a micro-docuseries whose rhythm always feels a bit off. —Judy Berman

Singled Out (unscripted)

I like host Keke Palmer. I like Joel Kim Booster, who serves as the Jenny McCarthy to her Chris Hardwick. I like that all three episodes I watched had queer contestants but didn’t feel as though they were pandering to an LGBTQ audience. The best one featured a fully decked-out, super-charismatic drag queen looking for a man who could handle her at her most femme. But the best thing about the original MTV show was the unscripted banter, both between the hosts and among the competitors. And there just isn’t room for that in an already-rushed seven-minute show. —Judy Berman

Thanks A Million (unscripted)

There’s not much here that you can’t already get from watching YouTube clips of Ellen DeGeneres giving out life-sized checks on behalf of name-that-corporation, or soldiers coming home to reunite with their spouses/children/dogs. But if you’re going to subscribe anyway and want a cathartic cry in two-minutes flat, watching celebs like Jennifer Lopez, Kevin Hart and Nick Jonas give deserving people $100,000, then watching the recipient give half of it to another deserving person, and so on, should do the trick. If you think too hard about it, the magic starts to fade—how much of this will get eaten up in gift taxes, and how many phone calls is this person going to get asking for a loan after receiving such a large sum on, well, if not national TV, whatever Quibi is? Yet seeing an apparently kind, hard-working person get the chance to pay for infertility treatments, or a house, or more resources for their therapy dog program, is far from the worst way to spend six minutes. —Eliza Berman

What to Skip

&Music (documentary)

With its sweeping landscape shots, ambient background score and pseudo-philosophical ramblings, &Music seems to want to be the Chef’s Table for the random-dudes-connected-to-the-music-industry set. The show spends each episode with a behind-the-scenes collaborator of a star: there’s Ariana Grande’s choreographers and Martin Garrix’s light guy. But while there are one or two poignant and revealing moments, the show is mostly slick, overproduced and vacuous. There are plenty of music documentaries that are far more worth your time—and that you can watch on a big screen with proper speakers. —Andrew R. Chow

Dishmantled (unscripted)

Dishmantled is a cooking show, minus the main ingredients that make cooking shows so satisfying: interesting and empathetic contestants to root for and, much more fatal to the whole endeavor, the cooking itself. Hosted by Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt‘s Tituss Burgess, the show invites two blindfolded chefs into a small chamber where a mystery dish is blasted into their faces; they have to taste the exploded shrapnel, figure out what it might be, and make a dish replicating what they think they’ve eaten, to be judged on both taste and accuracy by celebrity judges like Dan Levy, Antoni Porowski and Jane Krakowski. But the quick format makes this far from a nutritious meal; viewers don’t have time to get to know or get invested in the contestants, and the cooking itself sails by without any attention to technique or ingredients. The most drama you’ll get here are lines like: “This all comes down to…is this a zoodle or is this a noodle?” —Eliza Berman

Memory Hole (unscripted)

Will Arnett makes fun of terrible pop culture moments from history that nobody remembers for a reason (like that time Alan Thicke appeared in a corny tribute at the opening of a Canadian superdome). It’s unclear who this show is for or why it exists. The references are so obscure that even people who lived through them will have forgotten and the quips feel like something you’d hear at a high school open mic. I spent the entire time watching this show thinking about another, much better show, BoJack Horseman. In that Netflix animated series, Arnett voiced a washed-up ’90s sitcom star struggling to stay relevant in Hollywood. Memory Hole feels like a project that an investor in Quibi would have blackmailed BoJack into doing after BoJack accidentally threw up on him during a bender at a wedding. —Eliana Dockterman

Most Dangerous Game (scripted)

This show is so obvious, it’s almost funny. These are the exact roles SNL would cast Liam Hemsworth and Christoph Waltz in for a skit—cancer-ridden former athlete with a pregnant wife and an evil billionaire who wants to pay said former athlete to be hunted by rich people. Since each episode is seven minutes, these are not character revelations that slowly come out over time. They are blatantly spoken by the actors to one another in every scene. Don’t come to Most Dangerous Game expecting The Game-esque twists or any subtle dialogue. What you expect is exactly what you will get. Unless you expect fun. You won’t get that. —Eliana Dockterman

Murder House Flip (unscripted)

Despite the name, there’s nothing original about Murder House Flip. The series is essentially two types of reality shows unceremoniously jammed together: one part home redesign show hosted by two perky designers with a surfeit of canned jokes; one part true crime docuseries filled with the requisite pan and scan over vintage photos and newspaper clippings. This uneasy juxtaposition results in awkward episodes that often feel like a Saturday Night Live parody, especially when one of the hosts brightly announces: “Our goal was to take this murder house and turn it into a happy home.” And a focus on the grisly nature of the crimes reflects the worst parts of a genre that too often obscures victims. Is there a world in which this show could have managed to strike the right tone? Possibly. But as it stands, Murder House Flip is too flip. —Kelly Conniff

Nikki Fre$h (unscripted)

“Wellness has a new voice. A black voice,” Nicole Richie’s rapper alter ego says in the first episode of Nikki Fre$h (and then immediately clarifies that she’s referring to herself). The resulting show is part poker-faced satire of the goop lifestyle and part honest assessment of organic produce and artisanal honey. Her attempts to draw attention to food waste and the plight of bees are well-intentioned, but cameos from the likes of Bill Nye can’t save the show from falling flat; Richie helped pioneer awkward reality TV on The Simple Life with Paris Hilton, but Nikki Fre$h lacks that show’s schadenfreude appeal. —Raisa Bruner

Skrrt with Offset (unscripted)

If you like looking at nice cars, you might get a kick out of Skrrt with Offset. Otherwise, there’s not much point. The show has a thin premise (the Migos rapper Offset does stuff with cars) and is executed with even less imagination. When his wife Cardi B shows up for an episode, overflowing with sass and charisma, you wonder why they didn’t just give the whole show to her. —Andrew R. Chow

Survive (scripted)

Before watching the first five episodes of this thriller about a disturbed young woman preparing to kill herself on the flight home from a mental institution, I might have said something like, “I’d watch Sophie Turner do anything.” Well, Turner is great in Survive—but neither her performance nor the impressive production values manage to redeem a story that, whether intentionally or not, revels in the bloody, nihilistic aesthetics of suicide. A twist (one that’s “spoiled” in the trailer) that has the plane crashing and Turner’s character teaming up with an obvious love interest (Corey Hawkins) to, yes, survive only heightens the absurdity and introduces plot holes. —Judy Berman

When the Streetlights Go On (scripted)

It’s the summer of 1995—a stiflingly hot one—when things start going wrong in sleepy Colfax, Ill. That fall, a beautiful high-school mean girl (Kristine Froseth) and the teacher she’s been sleeping with (Mark Duplass) get carjacked, forced to strip and gunned down by their masked assailant. The weirdo sister (Sophie Thatcher) she used to bully wanders around unmoored. A jock sometimes-boyfriend (Sam Strike) is brought in for questioning. Narrating this murder mystery is the student journalist (Chosen Jacobs) who found the bodies. Period signifiers like Nirvana and ck one abound. Every once in a while a show formed entirely out of genre tropes and nostalgia for the recent past is executed well enough to exceed the sum of its parts (see: the first season of Stranger Things). But after three trite, predictable episodes, I’m not holding out much hope for this one. —Judy Berman

Other Shows Headed to Quibi

The titles below are Quibi’s “daily essentials,” more information-oriented programming covering news, sports, weather and entertainment. Screeners were not provided in advance for these series:

Around the World by BBC News Weather Today by The Weather Channel Morning Report by NBC News Evening Report by NBC News Saturday Report by NBC News Sunday Report by NBC News The Replay by ESPN NewsDay by CTV NewsNight by CTV Sports AM by TSN Pulso News by Telemundo For the Cultura by Telemundo Close Up by E! News Fresh Daily by Rotten Tomatoes Speedrun by Polygon Pop5 by iHeartRadio No Filter by TMZ: AM No Filter by TMZ PM Last Night’s Late Night All The Feels by The Dodo The Daily Chill The Rachel Hollis Show Sexology by Shan Boodram The Nod with Brittany & Eric Trailers by Fandango

via https://cutslicedanddiced.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/how-to-prevent-food-from-going-to-waste

[the-phantom-author]

Since we’re in agreement that Hasan doesn’t know what soft launching is, maybe him dating someone a bit younger who is more in touch with online lingo (streamer!gf who keeps him in the know with things lol) and he goes on stream one night and is like “chat, as you know there’s been rumors going around but I’m just making it clear now that I’m in a relationship with *firstname* *lastname* and we’re happy!” And your chat starts telling you he full on hard launched y’all while you’ve been doing soft launch stuff forever on your insta😭😭😭😭 so you go to him streaming and are like ???? What happened to soft launch???? And he’s like dw!! I did! 😁😁😚😚 so it ends up you and him looking at examples of soft launches and hard launches on TikTok and he just kisses you out of nowhere and it gos viral on twit and tt with fans calling it your soft launch🥹

He’s so serious he’s like “yeah I’m with YN, she’s also a content creator” etc etc meanwhile you’re so aesthetic and carefully planning the little hints of Hasan you show. Wearing his jacket, matching nails, taking a mirror selfie in his bedroom, his shadow in pictures on sunny days etc etc

Bless his heart🩷🩷🩷🩷

It'd be like nine or so months into the relationship. You're at you're place, chilling for once, and you have Hasan's stream on in the background. That's when you hear him say it and you immediately start to head to his place. The minute you see him it's just an "Ayo Hasan, what the fuck?" He's just sitting there, still on stream like "what, in soft launching, like we discussed last night." Truly, an idiot.

Queue you lecturing him on what soft launching is for the next hour, hour and a half. The whole streams right after he kisses you. He does spend the rest of the night trying to make it up to you.

[gadgetsrevv]

Croatian Winger Ivan Perisic Joins Bayern Munich on 1-year Loan From Inter Milan

Berlin: Bundesliga champions Bayern Munich have signed Inter Milan and Croatia winger Ivan Perisic on a one-year loan deal, the club confirmed Tuesday.

“Ivan will help us immediately with his many years of international experience,” said Bayern sporting director Hasan Salihamidzic.

“He is technically gifted and flexible in attack.”

Perisic, 30, is widely considered to be Bayern’s back-up option after their bid to sign Leroy Sane was derailed by the Manchester City winger’s recent knee injury.

The 2018 World Cup finalist had already confirmed the transfer to German media after he was spotted undergoing a medical check in Munich on Monday.

According to Bild newspaper, Bayern have paid five million Euros ($5.6m) for the Croatian international, with the option to buy him outright for around 20 million Euros at the end of the season.

Perisic is a familiar name in Germany, having won the Bundesliga title with Borussia Dortmund and the German Cup with Wolfsburg earlier in his career.

“I am very happy to be back in Germany. Bayern are one of the biggest clubs in Europe. We don’t want to just win the league and cup, we also want to attack the Champions League,” said Perisic.

He also played under Bayern coach Niko Kovac during the latter’s two-year spell as Croatia coach between 2013 and 2015.

“I am sure that Ivan will integrate quickly as he already knows the Bundesliga and Niko Kovac,” added Salihamidzic.

Perisic’s current contract at Inter runs until 2022, but he was reportedly set to play less of a role under new coach Antonio Conte.

At Bayern, he will provide much-needed reinforcement on the wing following the departure of veteran club icons Arjen Robben and Franck Ribery at the end of last season.

The German giants had initially targeted Sane, but turned their attentions to Perisic after the Manchester City winger tore his anterior cruciate ligament last week, potentially ruling him out until early 2020.

It remains unclear whether Bayern will still make a bid for Sane despite his injury. Yet several former Bayern players have insisted that Perisic would be more than just a plan B.

“I don’t think Perisic is an emergency solution, he is a fantastic player who can help Bayern immediately and won’t need any time to adjust,” former Bayern captain Stefan Effenberg told Sport1.

Bayern launch their Bundesliga season at home to Hertha Berlin on Friday.

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[the-phantom-author]

she’s playing maybe the biggest venue she ever has, it’s a monumental moment for her and she’s so happy that hasan is there to see it

hasan is there in the crowd obvi, maybe he’s brought the fear& group plus caroline and lud, the whole night everyone is nudging him when popstar looks his way, maybe she winks at him at some point or points his way and he’s BLUSHINGGGGG

there aren’t even songs about hasan out yet. maybe tonight she surprises everyone with a new song. (“slut!” by taylor) (might something about that song and popstar!gf with hasan soon)

she says she was going back and forth about when to release it but she really wanted to play it tonight, no certain reason 😉😏 and everyone is like ???????????? girl it’s a work of art but we’re confused???????

hasan and his group are VERY MUCH not confused, they allllllll know it’s for him and he’s a puddle on the ground, austin’s hooting and hollering because if popstar!gf has one fan, it’s austin, if she has no fans, he’s dead

she goes back to her regular show, maybe she’s touring the album guts by olivia rodrigo, it’s very ragey and self reflective and looking back on a bad relationship with anger. fans are wild but confused because is she saying she’s in love but she’s literally performing vampire and saying some dude is a blood sucker, fame fucker, etc

it’s almost midnight, she’s wrapping the show up, it’s final number, hasan has went over to where she’ll come off stage and is waiting for her

after the final bows, thank yous, etc etc, she’s leaving, she’s coming off stage and searching until finally she sees him and she just starts running 🥹🥹🥹

he opens his arms wide and she throws her arms around him and gives him a big smoochy!!!!!

she doesn’t care who sees, she’s with someone who is secure enough to handle the criticism, someone who isn’t ashamed of her and isn’t ever trying to diminish her in anyway.

he doesn’t care who sees either. he doesn’t care her hair is wild from sweating and she’s damp from sweat from dancing, he’s kissing her right back and as soon as they pull away from each other he’s telling her how amazing she was, how proud he is of her. how he can’t wait for the next year and he can’t wait to spend it with her.

they finally come out of their love bubble, noticing the fans can see them and they’re yelling that it’s midnight, they were each others new years kiss

gf and hasan KNOWWWW this is gonna be viral when they wake up the next morning.

Imagine the people live tweeting the show

The new year kiss hard launch!!!!

Her just being in the middle of the show touring the breakup album, and is like "wait hold up, so I have a song, and I know it clashes with the tour theme, but I really want to sing it tonight. Who knows when it'll be official released tho." And just goes for it with "Slut!"

Also Hasan, fear& their partners being at the concert!! Don't be you'll make me cry. I'm not even touching on Austin and her relationship, but I will say "beautiful and natural" becomes a regular thing she says.

Popstar!gf knows she not supposed to ran, jump, and kiss Hasan at the end of the show, especially not when she premiers Slut! but she can't help herself. Partly because Slut! got such a great reception from the audience, partly from post performance adrenaline, but mostly because she's never had someone wait for at the stage door after a performance and is just over come by her love and adoration for Hasan.

The entire time they're in their little bubble,they have the most love struck look on their faces, and during that time neither of them are letting go of eachother.

The next day, Hasan's stream is just full of chat asking so many questions and sending tiktok that people have made of the two of you with the audio of Slut! from the concert behind it. You wake up to much the same, but also lots of calls from you team.

But ya'know it's worth it for once.

[the-phantom-author]

Also seen some screenshots of Hasan’s stream today, and Felix just sitting there like 🫥🫥🫥 while Hasan is going off on someone (from what I can gather from a Reddit post, someone who has actually watched is free to correct me🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻) is just so funny.

Hasan’s girl being sat beside him, ready to react to some stuff and being excited to be with him and spend some time together and he’s just ripping someone a new one😪😪😪😪 so you’re sitting there like 🙂🙂🙂🙂

When Hasan is done getting stuff off his chest, he just turns to you and apologizes for all that but you lean and kiss him, telling him not to apologize because that dude was being an asshole.

You spend the rest of the evening reacting to some lighter, funnier stuff, you somehow end up in his lap??? Giggling over silly tiktoks 🥰🥰😌😌

No, because I've been watching the Hasan debate, which was against some guy who been making Hasan=bad videos, and Felix really is just chilling the whole time.

But being his girl, sitting in the background with Kaya, drinking your smoothie, just enjoying the show.

As you're spending the rest of the stream reacting to things, there comes a point that you have a very specific video to show him, and you're having trouble pulling it up without being right in front of the computer. So you just, plop yourself on top of Hasan's lap and take over.

Just a silly little goofy end to a stream where he was yelling earlier.

[the-phantom-author]

i personally can’t stop thinking about popstar!gf performing vampire or smth at the grammys to kind of “end” that era and she maybe announces late that grammys night she’s going to release Tortured Poets Department. (especially with how the tides seem to be turning on taylor, there seems to have been a huge shift in public opinion almost??)

this is gonna become her darker era. while maybe guts was the anger, TPD is the sadness, the acceptance, the moving on. the making fun of exes. i think guts came out before or just as she’s meeting hasan. then while she’s hanging out with hasan and just living the single life, thinking back on how STUPID things were. how she let someone dull her sparkle, someone who wanted her not be a singer/songwriter (cue song “my boy only breaks his favourite toys” and “i can do it with a broken heart” or “the smallest man who ever lived”)

hasan helps her heal and move past that awful relationship, someone she maybe gave a few years of her life to, she’s no longer angry, she’s understanding how badly she was affected and now is gonna poke fun at him. (side note: apparently joe alwyn who is taylor’s ex, had a group chat with some friends called the tortured man club, so in this scenario, popstars ex has one and she’s 100% making fun of it)

and while she’s beginning to work on reputation before even releasing this (she’s already written things like call it what you want and delicate, etc) when TPD releases her fans go crazy for it but the media is gonna eat her alive. basically anything people are criticizing taylor for (that’s not actually valid) is how things are happening for her.

people calling her a snake, trying to cancel her, etc etc etc etc.

which THISSSS leads into the reputation era. she’s not trying to be seen by anybody. they want her gone so bad? fine. say no more. she’s an attention seeker because she lets the charities she works with publicize that she’s helping out? (even though she’s just wanting to drive more eyes to that cause) fine, she’ll stop being public, donate anonymously and move on.

and even avoids the spotlight anytime hasan is in it. she’s not trying to be on stream or the pod, no tiktok’s, no reacts, no instagrams, nothing. hasan will mention her in passing. if someone asks if she’s okay, he assures everyone she’s doing alright, they’re still together and very happy together, she’s just going through some stuff so leave her alone.

not seen for at least almost a year. she deletes socials, just tries to focus on writing and building her relationship with hasan, reading, working on her craft. plotting revenge.

after a longgg time. she’s back. she surprise drops the entire album with no explanation. (because , THERE WILL BE MORE EXPLANATION, THERE WILL JUST BE REPUTATION!) and the internet is going up in FLAMES. chat is CRAZY.

because she’s really coming for everyone on it:

-i don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me! i’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams!

-so i took an axe to a mended fence

-this ain’t for the best, my reputations never been worse so you must like me for me

-the world moves on, another day another drama drama, but not for me , not for me all i think about is karma! and then the world moves on but one things for sure!!! maybe i got mine but!! you’ll!! all!! get !!! yours!!

like literally look what everyone made her do!!!!!!!!!

but also at the end of the day, it’s a love album. because when nobody was standing by her, hasan was.

-even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

-even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

-all the liars are calling me one, nobody’s heard from me for months, i’m doing better than i ever was.

-baby let the games begin!!!!

him being here before during and after a public downfall shows how much he loves her and is gonna stand by her. (SORRY FOR THE NOVEL!!!!)

The way I know I can't much to this becuase God is it great.

I'm so happy that we were thinking the same thing about album progression with popstar!gf. Rep immediately after Guts seemed a bit weird, but to have TPD be in the middle of of them fits in just right.

As for the the ex who dulled her spark. I'm almost thinking someone who wanted to be married, like they've been together for about a year or two, and he just goes for it. He mentions that he wants her to be a little house wife, and doesn't want her writing anymore music or performing for any reason. Obviously, our girl said no.

But yes, TPD is all about her acceptance with how unbelievably dumb she was for letting man do ever he did to her. It's about just how messy that relationship was. And just how below her, and everyone really, her ex is. So yeah, TDP has moments where it gets petty and it's just belittling him a bit, becuase why wouldn't it.

And that's why people start calling her a snake, and trying to cancel her. She gets in details on the album, she goes into details while in interviews, and people men don't understand how she could be so blunt about her experiences with her ex. They don't why she would ever make fun of someone she dated in such a public way.

And that is how Rep goes from her only album to have song about how che loves someone, to essentially a revenge album.

[the-phantom-author]

pls ur so real for the tiktok links as the fear& cast n you in the last anon i sent. you always have the best responses.

i present this: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT86mh22t/ (you as Joe and Hasan as Frankie)

maybe an alt scenario where you and hasan aren’t together yet and it turns into a deep dive of you x hasan fic and ship edits on tiktok and this is how you find out how hard you guys are shipped (you already know but didn’t realize it was that hardcore)

- 🍓

Hasan (Joe) and his gf (Frankie) are so Frankie and Joe coded.

It'd be after the H3 appearance and you've been around him some more on camera, like you needed to return his jacket and when is he not streaming, y'know?

When you did bring it back to his place to drop off, chat wanted you to stay for a bit, and so did Hasan, so why wouldn't you?

And wouldn't it be rude of Hasan to not offer you dinner when you spent your whole afternoon with him?

^^ends up in you making a good "friend" out of him and y'all spend more time together, both on camera and off.

Not to mention reading fanfic on stream, it would be a mess. It's a casual mention from Hasan and you take the bit and run with it. "You're telling me that no one's every thought of it?