#has been dead for too long i feel like you just gave the wrong answer

[theinfinitedivides]

caught in a trap!!!!!! caught in a f*cking trap i say!!!!!!

[beauty-brains-braun]

Blackout

18+ Minors DNI

A power outage leaves you alone with your best friend's roommate. You don't mean to use it as an opportunity to ask Megumi Fushiguru why he hates you, it just slips out. You really don't expect his answer.

warnings/tags:  Smut, PWP, a little bit of praise-kink, aged-up characters, penis in vagina sex

Reader has a vagina, otherwise is non-descript

You and Megumi were alone when the power went out. You'd been in his and Yuji's shared apartment, waiting for the other man to bring you the house keys you definitely sort-of needed to get into your own apartment. You'd made it all of the way home when you realized he'd snatched the wrong set off the table when you were all having drinks earlier. Only when the key wouldn’t fit in your lock did you realize the almost matching keychains you and Yuji had gotten hadn't been the best idea. 

Of course you then walked all of the way here only to find out Yuji had been called to exorcize a curse. You'd barely been here a minute when the outage happened. Now you were in the dark with a man who didn't seem to be able to stand you. This was not your night.

"Perfect" you muttered.

"What?" Megumi asked.

"Nothing." You told him. You took a couple of steps forward and ran right into him. "Shit, sorry!" You felt his hands on your arms as he reached out to steady you on instinct. 

He didn't say anything, just sort of grunted and moved around you. His phone flashlight turned on a few seconds later in the kitchen area and you used the light to navigate to the couch. If you were sitting, you figured you wouldn't be able to run into anything. 

He lit a candle and brought it over to the coffee table. “My phone’s almost dead, better conserve the battery.”

Yours was dead. That’s why you had made it all of the way here before you found out Yuji wasn’t even at home. You fought back a groan, letting your head drop back onto the couch behind you. You heard a clunk and looked up to find Megumi setting a bottle of wine and two glasses in front of you. Yes please.

You accepted a glass with gratitude as Megumi sat on the couch next to you and an awkward silence immediately enveloped you both.

It had been like this with you and Megumi for as long as you could remember. You’d tried befriending him the way you had Yuji and Nobara when you first transferred to Jujutsu High School but he would never stay in the same room with you long enough, always suddenly finding somewhere else he needed to be. On the occasions you were stuck together, you’d tried getting to know him but he would only give one worded answers and refuse to look at you. It quickly became more frustrating than it was worth and you gave up. All of this was made worse by how insanely attractive you found him, even now. Your skin felt like it was on fire from where he’d grabbed you when you bumped into him earlier but you were doing your best to ignore that. 

Yuji had been bugging you lately to try again. Said that this was just how Megumi was, and to an extent you knew that was true, the man was pretty quiet. But he wasn’t quite like this with anyone else and you didn’t have the patience you used to have to just keep trying and trying. 

“How did that Special Grade mission go last weekend?”

You almost dropped your wine glass, had he just asked you a question? You stared at him for a second too long before answering. “Uhm, it was good.” You drained the rest of the wine in your glass. “Pretty tough but not the worst one I’ve fault.”

He nodded and leaned forwards to refill your glass. You could see his eyelashes even in this dim lighting and had to make yourself look away. “What about you? Anything interesting lately?”

“Same old, same old. It's good that it’s been quiet, I guess. It’s just sort of..” Megumi trailed off.  

“Boring.” You finished his thought.

“I feel awful saying that, but yeah.”

The awkward silence was back almost immediately. You racked your  brain desperately for something to talk about. For anything to say other than “Why don’t you like me?”

“What?”

Holy shit you did not say it out loud. You looked over to see Megumi staring, sitting so still he could have been frozen. You had said out loud. What was wrong with you? You felt your skin heating from embarrassment but fuck it. It was out there, might as well commit.

“You’ve always avoided me, Fushiguru. Tonight is probably the most you’ve ever said to me in all of the years we’ve known each other. So yeah, you obviously don’t like me, I just have never known why.” Your heart was pounding in your chest as you watched Megumi drain his glass of wine and put the empty glass on the coffee table before answering. 

“You think I don’t like you?” he clarified.

“Obviously.”

“You’re wrong.”

“What?” You hadn’t expected him to deny it. He wasn’t really the type of guy who would lie to spare anyone’s feelings.

“You’re wrong.” He said again, firmly.

“You can barely stand to be in the same room with me.” You pointed out incredulously. 

Megumi sighed but didn’t deny it. Instead he shifted closer to you. “It’s not because I don’t like you, though.”

You blinked at him, confused. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It wouldn’t to you I guess.” He sighed again and moved closer to you again, raising himself so one knee dug into the couch and he towered over you a little. “You and Yuju got close fast. Instantly almost. It seemed pretty obvious to me that you would be end-game. That it was only a matter of time for you to get together and live out your happily ever afters in each other’s arms.”

You blink again at the bitterness in his voice, not understanding what one thing had to do with the other. “Yuji’s my best friend, I’ve never wanted anything more and neither has he.”

“Well, five years later, it’s definitely started to seem that that’s the case, but I’ve always waited for the other shoe to drop. Afraid if I was too close to you, I would break.”

He was even closer now, leaning down into your space, his gorgeous eyes reflecting the light from the candle. You swallowed hard. “Break?” you asked.

“Break.” He confirmed. And he did.

Megumi’s mouth met your own, gently at first until he felt you kiss him back. Until he felt you melt into him. Then he deepened the kiss, his hands cradling the back of your head. 

You felt his tongue touch your lips and you opened for him, mind reeling in shock. Megumi Fushiguru didn’t hate you. He more than didn’t hate you, he was kissing you! He pressed against you until you lay back on the couch and followed you down, mouth moving down to your neck. 

Everywhere his mouth touched felt like it was on fire and you felt an ache deep in your core. You shifted, raising a knee so he fit against you perfectly. His cock was pressed against you and another ache coursed through you when you realized how hard he was for you. 

He pulled away from you suddenly and you let out a whine of protest. 

“Tell me to stop” he said, searching your face for any hint that that was what you wanted. 

“Don't you dare” you said breathlessly, pulling him back down to kiss you again. You felt him smile against your mouth and then his fingers were against your skin, pulling your shirt over your head and unclasping your bra. You heard each one hit the floor somewhere across the room but forgot about them the moment Megumi’s mouth was on one nipple, his fingers tugging at the other until you were a dripping, quivering mess. 

“Please” left your mouth before you even realized you said it and his eyes met your own in question. “Please fuck me” you begged, watching his gaze darken.

“Fuck, I’ve dreamed of tasting you but I’m not going to make it if you beg.”

“Later. Tomorrow, I don’t care, I need you inside me.” And you did. You’d never needed anything more, you’d never felt more empty. It felt like there was a drum beating deep inside you. You struggled to remove his pants and he moved to help you. Your hand curled around his cock when it sprang free and he let loose a his of pleasure. Moving just enough to remove your own pants while you pumped him in your hand. 

He pushed one of his long fingers inside you and you gasped at the feeling. You had always been a little too interested in Megum’s hands and as he added a second finger, you realized it was for good reason. You were seeing stars from this alone.  Tender kisses trailed your collarbone and you whined when he pulled his fingers from you. 

“Shhhh” He soothed you and seconds later you felt his tip against you, gathering your wetness, before he slowly, too slowly maybe, started to push into you.

“Fuck” you breathed as he bottomed out inside you. The stretch of him almost burned but it still felt good. Felt right. He’d stopped, giving you time to adjust to his size and you groaned.

“Megumi, please. Please move.” You begged, not even feeling embarrassed at the smirk that pulled at his mouth. 

“You beg so nicely”. He pulled out and thrust back in suddenly. 

You tightened your legs around him as if you could keep him inside you forever. He pulled almost all of the way back out and thrust back in again, his mouth meeting yours when you moaned. He set a steady rhythm fucking into you and out of you, drinking in the sounds of praise falling from your lips. You felt something coiling tight in your lower stomach, so tight you knew it would snap soon.

“You feel so good. I couldn’t have imagined you’d feel this perfect” Megumi said in your ear. He changed the angle of his hips causing his cock to hit that one spot deep inside that made you see stars. He thrust in again and you were lost. That something deep inside you that had been winding up snapped and you came, crying out his name.

Megumi’s fingers dug harder into your thighs but he didn’t stop. He kept fucking you through your orgasm even as you tightened around him and he had to fight not to follow you just yet. 

He leaned in to kiss you and muttered “good girl” against your lips, making your pussy clench and heart flutter. He pulled out and flipped you over quickly before thrusting back in.

A cry of pleasure left you as the new position allowed him to fuck you even deeper than before. You lost yourself in him, in the feeling of him thrusting in and out of you, in the small sounds of pleasure leaving his mouth, in the feeling of his skin on yours. 

He pulled you up so your back was flush against his chest and he could kiss your neck. You could feel his thrusts becoming more erratic and knew he must be close. He wasn’t the only one. 

Megumi’s fingers found your clit and rubbed circles until you were coming again, thankful Megumi’s other arm was still keeping you upright because you never would have managed it on your own. You hear him curse and suddenly he’s pulling out of you and you feel his release splatter across your ass and thighs.

The room is so silent without the constant hum of electricity that usually surrounds you so the sounds of you trying to catch your breath seem so much louder than normal.

“You okay?” Megumi’s voice was so quiet you looked over at him, the dim light of the candle reflecting off his eyes. “Was that too much?”

A huff of surprised amusement left you. He was nervous. He fucked you like thatt and now he was nervous. “Too much?” You asked. “That was amazing.” His mouth curved up in a small smile and he leaned in to kiss you, the movement so tentative compared to his actions from earlier. You leaned into him, kissing him back encouragingly. 

A sound from outside the door made you both tense and he jerked away, blowing the candle out seconds before the door opened. You both sat frozen as Yuji entered the apartment, dropping something to the floor and calling your name on his way in. 

You moved slowly, reaching for your clothes in the dark. Your fingers closed around the fabric you recognized as your shirt and you feel relief course through you as you pull it closer. Naturally that was the moment the power kicked back on. Light flooded the apartment suddenly, almost blinding you. A screech left Yuji’s mouth and you winced, rushing to pull your shirt on.

“Oh my god!” He yelled, hands flying up to cover his eyes. “Oh. My. God. Finally! But I mean, on the couch?!” 

“Stop yelling.” Megumi groaned, pulling up his pants, his cheeks flushed red with embarrassment in a way you couldn’t help but find adorable even as you prayed for the ground to open up and swallow you.

“You’re buying us a new couch, Fushiguru!” Yuji shouted, pointing accusingly in the other man’s direction, with his eyes still squeezed shut.

“Stop yelling!”

“Just wait until I tell Kugasaki! She’d almost given up. I am serious about the couch by the-” a pillow from the couch hit him hard in the face, cutting him off and knocking him on his ass.  

Megumi looked over at you in surprise and you smiled at him and shrugged. “He’ll go all night if someone doesn’t shut him up.”

He smiled back at you and stepped closer, leaning in to kiss you again.

“Wait, was that one of your sex pillows? Gross!”

[munsonkitten]

They say it’s for his own good. Because he’s dangerous. But Steve doesn’t feel any more dangerous than he did before this whole mess. Like, seriously, he could kill literal monsters with nothing more than a bat covered in rusty nails. He doesn’t feel any more dangerous now than he did when he hit Billy Hargrove with a fucking car or when he held back in all the fights he’s ever lost. Because he could kill fucking monsters. He wasn’t gonna find out if he was capable of killing teenage boys too.

He sees Eddie sometimes.

Eddie looks dangerous, but then he always has. Even if he never was. He always had that look to him, with his leather and chains and heavy boots. Dangerous in a good way.

Now he looks bloodthirsty.

Well, ha, Steve thinks. That’s because he is.

Steve is too, but he doesn’t think that’s grounds for imprisonment. He doesn’t think that’s grounds for being held hostage in the newly reopened and renovated Hawkins Lab.

They say it’s because he’s dangerous, but if that’s the case then they should’ve locked him up years ago. They should’ve seen what was wrong with him back when he was that asshole popular kid at Hawkins High.

Every time he sees Eddie these days it’s when they’re being shoved down hallways. They have Eddie in a mask to prevent biting. Some clear plastic thing that shows his snarling face as he’s pushed. His teeth are sharp and pointed, and he has this wild look in his eyes. There’s blood inside the mask more often than not. Whether it’s someone else’s every time, or if it’s Eddie’s, Steve never really knows. A mix of both, most likely.

They make eye contact and Steve tries to tell him they’ll get out of this mess, and Eddie looks back at him like he wants to believe him, but just can’t.

Steve doesn’t blame him. He’s lost track of how long they’ve been here. He stopped counting after six months, after the lines he carved into his wall with a sharp fingernail — talon, really — became too numerous to hide behind the one pin-up girl poster they gave him for good behavior after the second week.

Weird reward, if you ask Steve. The orderly that put it up for him smirked, said something about tissues in the cabinet in the corner of his room, and then left without another word.

Really fucking weird.

The head scientist comes into Steve’s room. Steve can’t remember his name. Matthews or Mathson or… Something. Doesn’t matter. Not like Steve really needs to know. He’s just called The Doctor and that’s that.

“According to our records, today’s a very special day, indeed. Happy birthday, Steven,” he says, looking down at Steve’s chart.

So it’s February fourteenth… But —

“How old am I?” Steve asks.

“Twenty-two,” the doctor answers.

Twenty two… Which means it’s 1988. Steve’s been here over a year and a half, since June ‘86 when they took him in the dead of night. Things had been weird before that. He’d been having cravings, and Eddie came back from the dead, clawed his way out of the Upside Down all by himself. He came back different, but still the same Eddie that Steve had mourned.

Twenty two years old and he doesn’t even remember turning twenty one.

“Since it’s your birthday,” the doctor continues. “We decided you deserve a reward for being so cooperative during your stay. Something you choose yourself, anything you want — within reason, mind you. Don’t ask to get out of here because that won't be happening. But if we can get it for you, it’s yours to keep.”

“Eddie,” Steve blurts out. “I want Eddie. I want him moved into my cell permanently. Get us bunk beds or some shit.”

“Ah, yes, well,” the doctor sighs. “Mr Munson is quite….”

“Dangerous? Insane? I can keep him in check,” Steve says quickly. “Look, we were friends before all of this and now we’re in the same boat. I understand him. If you want to get through to him, do this for me and I can help.”

None of that is true, of course. He’s not gonna make Eddie do shit, and he really doesn’t think he could if he wanted to. He’s wild, a little more monster than Steve is. It probably has something to do with being stuck in the Upside Down after he died. Different, but still Eddie.

Steve doesn’t blame him for the trouble he’s been causing. He’s seen it firsthand only a couple of times, but sometimes his doctors go missing and never come back. Sometimes they’re covered in blood when they come to see him after being with Eddie.

It’s not hard to guess what happens there.

“We’ll try it,” the doctor says. “But I can’t imagine why that’s what you want.”

He writes something down on his clipboard, clicks his pen with a sigh, and stands.

“I will see what we can do.”

And then he‘s gone.

Steve waits two days. Two days where no one comes to see him, to poke him with needles or flash lights in his eyes. He’s delivered his meals through the slot in his door, but that’s all that happens. He drinks the blood they give him. Animal today, he knows. They switch it up on him, and he’s found he can tell the difference easily now. It’s not the same as human, but it does the job.

It keeps him alive. It keeps him from wanting to tear himself limb from limb because of hunger and thirst. There’s still an itch in his throat and a nagging in the back of his mind saying he’s not satisfied, but it’s better than nothing.

On the second day, he’s told to stand against the back wall, and he complies easily. Complying means rewards — it means he doesn’t get hurt. The first few days he was here he was uncooperative and they beat him. It was too much like being in the Russian bunker beneath Starcourt again.

So he stopped fighting back. He stopped spitting and hissing, he stopped trying to sink his teeth into anything he could reach. And in turn he got rewards. He’s given more time outside his room, more time to sit in a room with a rainbow around the walls and a bunch of old children’s toys.

He knows he’s at Hawkins Lab. He can feel it, can feel something in the back of his head that tells him his family is close. His real family — Robin and Nancy and Dustin and everyone else. He knows he’s in Hawkins Lab and he can’t help but wonder if El lived in the same room as him, if she pushed around the same Hot Wheels car he does when he’s bored.

He stands in his room now, and it’s really a cell, but he doesn’t like to call it that, and he watches as two men carry his bed out. Two more come in with bunk beds that look like two of the regular beds welded together — thin metal frames with thin mattresses. Straight out of a prison.

The doctor comes into the room and he’s carrying a box in his arms. Steve can’t see what’s inside it, but he thinks they might be the few personal belongings Eddie has. The box gets set on the bottom bunk. An orderly comes in with a pile of extra blankets and two pillows. Those get set on the beds, too.

They all leave without a word, but Steve knows he won’t be alone for much longer. He knows that they’re going to get Eddie to him, and soon enough, they’re both going to be able to escape. Together.

Steve doesn’t know how long he sits there on the bottom bunk, but it’s a while. He only spares a single glance into the box, and he sees a spare hospital gown, and some clean underwear inside it. There’s a book sitting on top, tattered and splattered with blood. At least Eddie has that, Steve supposes.

The heavy metal door to Steve’s room opens and Eddie is shoved in, snarling and snapping at the guard behind him, holding his hands in shackles behind his back. They have heavy wool mittens on him, his plastic mask covering the bottom half of his face. Steve’s surprised they don’t just put him in a straitjacket and throw him into a padded room.

They make eye contact, Eddie’s formerly chocolate brown eyes now deep red. His hair is pulled back into a ponytail and shows his slightly pointed ears. Steve’s look the same, and his eyes are still mostly brown, but he can see the red swirling around inside them during the few occasions he can look in the mirror.

Eddie sniffs the air through his mask, bares his teeth. Steve can see the blood in his mouth through the clear plastic.

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. What if Eddie hurts him too? What if he’s… What if he’s not Eddie anymore? If the last bits of his humanity have drained out of him, if he’s been forced to let the monster inside take full control… Steve doesn’t know what he’ll do.

I’d let the monster take me, too, he thinks, and then immediately regrets it. He doesn’t want to be that, and in his head he’s holding a snarling beast back with wrought iron bars, in a cell not too different from the one his physical body stands in. He’s gotten this far. It would be a waste to not even try.

The guard leaves Eddie where he stands, still cuffed, and backs away to the door. He slams it shut and locks it, then slides open the food slot. Eddie growls, jerks at his cuffs, trying to get free.

“Munson!” the guard barks. “Back up against the door.”

Eddie backs up until he’s against the door and Steve hears the key unlocking the cuffs around Eddie’s wrists.

The mittens come off next, and both things get pulled through the slot. The guard quickly slides it shut. Eddie is free from his restraints, and now he and Steve are alone.

Read more on AO3

[noahjuy]

No Pity Required - C:Caerus

Hi👾, ((:I'm Noah:))≡ [Read!] ❛ :: Navigation⇐Masterlist ⇐ ╰─▸ ❝ @[WARNING] - . . . . Errors in the text, dark themes, yandere themes, "abduction", foul language, abuse.

✽ ⋆ ┊. ˚ ੈ ₊̣̇. ⌲ M!OC!Emperor x M!Reader!Commoner Inspired by the bot in the Character. Ai

Song:

You didn't realize that a mistake could change your whole life. You were running away from your family, you can choose the reason why. But you ended up getting lost in another empire, you didn't realize how long you've been walking and running while eating whatever you could find in your backpack. But you didn't expect to see an Emperor walking around, didn't you? Just as you were about to hide, you were faced in front of the emperor looking dead into your eyes as if he's trying to figure out something.

After a little talk, he decided to.. keep you in his empire. At first, you thought you were just being delusional and this is not happening. You refused over and over but do you think that an Emperor would take no as an answer? It's more like a demand, honestly. You thought it was a good thing at first.He lets you walk freely around the castle, feeds you, getting taken care of, getting spoiled by whatever Caerus gave to you but why did you even try to leave? He was a manipulative bastard who kept controlling you around and demanding so many things from you till you feel like you're about to pass out.

So everyday, you were planning to escape. It has been a few rough months ever since you were locked up here so you had no problem memorizing every single inch of the castle. And one night while he was away for business, you escaped full of bravery and decided to hide somewhere.

The next morning was a mess, a chaos all because of the Emperor. Caerus couldn't handle you running away from him especially after what he did for you within all these months. He sent thousands of soldiers guarding every single small spot around the city and the empire, they were everywhere. What are you going to do now? You can't just go back, you worked so hard to get here but now you have to find a way.

An Emperor who decided to keep you in his castle since you have caught the Caerus's attention, you were locked in the castle but things went wrong when you escaped the castle.Caerus was way too possessive, his sadistic personality. So you planned to escape. You knew this could make it even worse but you can't handle it anymore.Now things were a mess. There were soldiers and guards everywhere around trying to find you. No matter how hard you try, you'll be in his arms again. Maybe.

You ran as fast as you can, you had to stay alive. You knew this would cost your life if they ever found you. Soldiers were guarding every single place, there were so many and there were even more than you can imagine.But you ran and ran, you hid in a small corner hoping they wouldn't find you. You were so tired, you couldn't run any longer. It's been hours of running ever since you escaped that hell.You heard someone approaching, you tried to stay quiet and not draw any attention but to your surprise that person was the Emperor.

You've decided to keep quiet, hoping that the Emperor will tell you that you're not here.

You didn't say a word, you saw Caerus in front of your eyes looking right at you. Before you could react he had grabbed you, you were trying to escape but your body froze in a sudden shock.Caerus was cold, cold as a block of ice and his face showed a sinister evil smile. He held you tightly by the chin and stared right into your eyes. His voice was terrifying.

— You didn't seriously thought you could escape from me, did you?

— E-emperor! - You unconsciously screamed, trying to get out of Caerus's grip.

— I gave you a chance, I gave you everything. Why the hell did you run? Why?!

His voice was terrifying, cold and demanding, his grip on you felt like his grip could crush your cheeks any moment. He was so mad he forgot to control his strength but the worst part is he enjoyed squeezing your face.

— I just want to be free.

— No, you belong here with me.

You tried to escape once again, trying to use your strength to make his grip lose a little. When he felt your arm moving the slightest bit, his grip got even tighter.

— Don't even try to escape from me. You're my possession now, you belong to me.

— I'm not a thing, Emperor - you said, looking at the Emperor with a look full of anger.

— You are now - the way he looks at you, you could tell that he was being dead serious. He had planned something worse in his mind.

He pulled you closer, you could feel him breathing in your face. You wanted to breathe again, you wanted to escape from this hell.He lifted you up and carried you in his arms. Your face was completely red because his grip was so tight and his hands were so cold. His voice was frightening and cold.

— Don't lie to yourself.

— I'm not lying.

— You don't want to admit that you're now my possession? Don't worry, I'll make sure to remind you every single day - he smiled and caressed your chin. You felt so cold for a moment.

— Emperor, lower me to the ground

— What? Why would I do that?

His grip tightened, it felt like your breath got cut out of you. He put you over his shoulder. His grip was so tight that every part of you felt numb.

— Where do you think you're trying to go?

— I... Well, definitely not to you - You turned your head away, not wanting the conversation to continue.

The Emperor has decided not to torment you any longer, and to continue to investigate the situation in the castle.

The next day.

The next day, you sat on a chair in front of the window and combed your hair so you wouldn't go crazy with boredom.

The doors were locked so you couldn't run even if you had this sudden burst of adrenaline.

That's when you heard someone trying to enter your room. At first you were terrified but it was him. It was the emperor, Caerus.

— Are you trying to look good for me that you're even fixing your hair?

He opened the door himself, he sat down on one of the chairs in your room and fixed his hanfu. He had a sinister evil smile on his face.

— I'm doing it for myself. - you put the hairbrush on the windowsill.

— I love how you're trying to act tough in front of me but everyone knows you're still just a fragile little thing.

He looked at you, cold and emotionless. His eyes were cold, but his smile was something that could make anyone run away.

You want to punch that bitch in the face.

Without warning, he grabbed you and kissed you forcefully, you were caught off guard. His hands were cold and his kisses were cold. You were too terrified.

You couldn't say a word, you were too shaken up. His grip was tight, his cold hands and his cold kisses.

— I told you, - he said with a grin - you're just a fragile little thing.

— You're a bastard emperor.

He slapped your right cheek with his cold hand, his face didn't show any signs of mercy or remorse. You could feel your cheek turning red and it hurt.

— What did you just say?

— What you've heard.

— I don't believe that a peasant like you could speak this way to an emperor who's done nothing but provide for you.

With each word he said, he slapped one side of your face. The hard slaps made your eyes swell up. Your cheeks were red from all the hits, tears started to form in your eyes.

— You're...just too cruel, Emperor.

He put his finger on your lip to make sure you stay quiet. His finger was cold and you felt like crying.

— You need discipline.

You tried to speak but he slapped you again, you were too afraid to make any kind of sound.

— Don't you have concubines for pleasure? - you speak, hoping that the Emperor will leave the room, after this question.

— You are my pleasure.

He said with a smirk on his face.He put his hands around your, his eyes was cold but his smile was more terrifying.

Open to requests. I don't really like it, I think I'll do the second part. I will try to improve my writing skills. If you notice any errors, please contact me.

Translation or publication is only allowed with my permission.

[hopelessromantic5]

Merthur Drabble

Essentially, Gwen and Arthur have told everyone they're in love when really they both have feelings for people they assume they could never have.

Merlin had never run so fast in his life.

He was dodging worried looks from other servants in the halls, ducking under strings of garland being hung in the corridors and accidentally knocking trays to the ground but not having the time to apologize.

He ran so fast his lungs were having trouble catching up.

He’s running because something is wrong.

He was in the Great Hall with George, finishing preparations for the ‘big feast’ in honor of the ‘big news’.

He’d just finalized the food when he felt it.

Something deep in his chest caved inward. Forming a dark hole.

And he heard it. His own name being shouted by that voice, almost exactly the same as he’d heard it a million other times, but this one was panicked, scared.

It came from nowhere near him, it may not even have been a real noise. But it echoed in the manservant’s mind.

It was his King.

Something was wrong.

He ran before he could even think twice, dropping the lists, trusting George to gather them.

Oh gods, what is it? Is he dead? Please don’t let him be dead.

He’d never felt anything so hollow before. He knew it was Arthur, but he didn’t know what could’ve caused this damage in his own castle with Merlin’s own wards (unknowingly) protecting every square inch of the keep.

Merlin arrived at the right corridor gasping for air, but not stopping.

The door to the king’s chambers remained open, the manservant halted before he approached as he heard voices.

Arthur and Gwen.

“Shouldn’t they be more…I don’t know…bright. Happy.” That was Arthur.

“Arthur, every wedding that’s been held here for the last century was bathed in red and white. It’s tradition.” She scoffed a little but even Merlin could hear the sweet smile she accompanied with it.

“Of course.” Arthur trailed off, distantly. The deep dark feeling tugged at Merlin’s chest again, so hard that he had to close the few feet between he and the King’s chambers. If only to ensure that Arthur was, in fact, alright.

Merlin stood in the doorway, finally seeing Gwen at the desk, sorting through papers (the ones Merlin had just organized the way Arthur wanted them last week) and Arthur standing by the cupboard, leaning against it, more like.

The King was already staring at the open door when Merlin walked in front of it.

Their eyes met, and all at once the feeling in Merlin's chest dulled to a small ache. Closing up, for now, but still throbbing like a bruise.

Arthur sent him a small smile before blanking his face and officially greeting him.

“Merlin.” Causing Gwen to look up too.

“Oh, hi Merlin! How is everything coming along?”

The manservant finally forced himself to move into the room but only a few feet.

“The preparations are nearly finished.” He gave her a small bow of his head and a forced quirk of his lips. Still feeling odd and uneasy.

Arthur seemed to sense it, or maybe Merlin has that look on his face because Arthur asks with the most sincerity Merlin thinks he’s ever heard from him,

“Is there something you need?”

No venom, no insults lurking just behind. He was genuinely asking if Merlin needed anything.

“No, sire.” He shook his head, eyebrows furrowed before continuing. “It’s just…you didn’t call for me, did you? Just a few moments ago?”

Arthur mirrored his expression of pinched brows.

“No, I didn’t.” He shook his own gorgeous blonde head, chewing his lip in thought, but still watching Merlin with worry. “Why?”

“Nothing, honestly. Just thought I heard…” Merlin shook his head again to clear his mind of the thoughts, nearly giving himself a headache, and went to leave. “It was nothing, sire. Must’ve been my imagination.”

“It does have a tendency to get carried away.” Arthurs idea of a joke.

“Very funny, your majesty.” He answers dryly reaching for the doorknob. “Honestly, can’t believe it took you this long to find someone to marry you with that sense of humor.”

Gwen thought this comical and laughed, however neither Arthur nor Merlin laughed at his joke.

Both were out of sorts; Merlin didn't know Arthur's reasons in the slightest. With his wedding in a fortnight, the King should be ecstatic. Merlin should be ecstatic for him. And yet, here they both were. Not laughing.

When Merlin turned back, once more, to find Arthur’s eyes on him, with that indiscernible look, he forced himself to go. So that his imagination would taunt him no longer.

[bensonoliviasstuff]

“Turning Page”

Chapter One! “ ‘I'll never leave’, never mind”

Masterlist for “Turning Page”

Bucky Barnes x fem! Reader

Summary: Once Bucky regained consciousness and was no longer the Winter Soldier, all he missed from the 40s was his wife. But maybe she's closer than he thought.

Warnings: English is NOT my first language, so I'm sorry if there are too many errors. Futhermore i don't think there are many warnings, a little bit of angst, memory loss, betrayal, trauma, Insecurities and other things that you will discover throughout the story. And the best part: Thanos doesn't exist here

The infirmary doors were opened in an angry shove, making a loud noise as the metal of the door met the wall. A nervous Bucky walked past with hurried steps.

“Bucky, Wait!” Steve shouted trying to keep up with his friend's steps. “No one can enter the room yet, they are carrying out tests”

“I need to see, Steve!” He shouted in a broken voice as he continued his way through the corridors of the compound's medical wing. “I need to see with my own eyes...”

The sentence died down when he stopped walking, facing the glass window of the hospital room.

It was you.

Bucky had the image of you memorized perfectly in his head, he could describe everything that had changed since 1940 with just one look, your hair was a few inches longer, there were a few small scars on your face. But it was still you.

He felt like his heart had stopped beating for a few moments.

He ran a metal hand over his face, holding back the sob that threatened to escape his throat. “It’s her Steve” Bucky placed a hand on the glass, almost as if he could feel it.

“It's her, Bucky” Steve said cautiously “But... We don't know what happened to her this whole time, we'll only know how she is when she wakes up.”

That's when realization hit Bucky, his fist closed against the glass, about to punch the wall.

“I’m going to kill those bastards” Bucky said, unable to calm the anger he felt towards those men, what if you went through everything he went through? All the torture he had to endure for years and years? The thought of you suffering like he did made Bucky's heart sink towards his stomach.

“Natasha is interrogating the man who told us she was there” Steve said “She’s waiting for us.”

“I was waiting for you” your voice echoed through the room before Bucky took you by the waist and gave you a kiss full of love. “Sergeant Barnes now then?”

You pulled away to take a good look at your husband, he was wearing the brown suit of a WWII soldier.

“For you it’s always ‘my love’, doll” Bucky said taking you in his arms, this was something you loved about your relationship, even after so long together you still acted like teenagers who had just started a fiery passion.

But Bucky didn’t fail to notice when you lowered your head to hide your teary eyes.

“Hey, doll, what’s wrong?” He already knew the answer, he knew it and it left him almost inconsolable before going to sleep.

“I’m afraid Bucky, what if you don’t come back?” Her voice became lower and lower as the doubt became more terrifying in her mind.

“I will come back doll, I promise you, not in a million years i'm leaving you alone” He placed a hand on your neck, forcing you to look at him.

“You can’t promise that” You said unsurely. “You don’t know if you’re really going to come back. ”

“Then you can marry Steve” He tried to joke to lighten up, and you couldn’t help but let out a tearful laugh, punching him in the shoulder.

“This isn't funny, you know?” You said wiping away your tears. “I know, I know” he apologized pulling you into a tight hug. “I will never leave you doll, that's the only thing I'll keep in mind while I fight: I can't leave my princess behind.”

“How did you know Y/N Barnes was alive?” Natasha asked the man chained in front of her, Bucky and Steve were on the other side of the mirrored glass.

“She was never dead, Hydra has been with her since Steve Rogers was presumed dead” Steve looked down, he still blamed himself for that, for leaving you alone even after you losing your husband.

“What did Hydra wanted with her?” Natasha asked coldly, leaning over the table. “Why did they taked her?”

“Even after we erased the Winter Soldier's memory, he always ended up remembering her at some point, we wanted to create an advantage in this regard, if he decided he was no longer on our side, we would threaten to kill her”

Bucky kicked the nearest chair, cowering in rage. He was ready to go into that room and kill that man in the most violent way ever recorded. “And why didn’t they do that when he disappeared?”

“He was already gone, we couldn't find him, but she didn't lose her usefulness, during the time she was at the base, she made a lot of noise after finding out that James Barnes was alive, sometimes she could spend an entire day screaming for her husband, it was irritating, so we decided to erase her memory, it became much easier to experiment on her after that.” The man was dismissive, he had nothing left to lose, he was already sentenced to prison, now he just wanted to see Sergeant Barnes suffer.

“Still, she always remembered him eventually, we also used it to test the soldier's memory, every time after we erased his memory, we took him to her, only to see he didn't recognize her, she would cry for days.”

At this point, Bucky was curled up in the corner of the wall, holding his head as the tears fell. You called out to him, you spent days screaming for him, you were in the same place as him all the time and he was never even able to recognize you.

It was tearing him apart, it was breaking everything inside him. He was about to leave, unable to listen any longer, when Natasha's question reached his ears.

“Experiments? So she has the super soldier serum?” Bucky turned around, waiting for the answer “No, but we trained her, she was very good at carrying out the missions she was sent, Y/N Barnes killed a lot of people”

That was the final straw for Bucky, they made his precious sweet girl spill blood.

He walked into the room, ignoring Steve's comments about calming down. He grabbed the man by the collar of his clothes and pushed him violently against the wall, starting to throw punches with his metal arm, he could spend hours beating and it still wouldn't be enough, but Steve ripped him off before the man's face was deformed.

“Never put her name in your mouth again! Your bastard! I'll kill you!" Bucky screamed trying to free himself from Steve, Natasha got in front of Bucky and ordered Steve to get him out of there.

Steve left dragging a nervous Bucky. “Look, I have the same desire as you, I wanted to go in there and finish him off, but that’s not how you solve things Bucky!”

Bucky sat on the chair he had kicked minutes ago, putting his head in his hands, everything in him was shaking, a mixture of hatred, anguish and guilt. “They put her through hell, Steve!” He stood up abruptly, putting his hand over his mouth. “All this because I left her alone, I forgot about her! I promised I would always be there for her and I just forgot about her!”

Steve looked at his friend with a very strong tightness in his chest, this whole situation hurt him in a way he couldn't even explain, imagine how much it was hurting Bucky? How much did it hurt you, going through all of this alone?

He still remembered when he had to break the news to you.

“Steve!” You said happily after opening the door to the apartment you and Bucky shared. “Oh, I'm so happy to see you! I still haven't gotten used to the fact that you're taller than me now” You walked forward giving Steve a hug, noticing that his face wasn't looking good but you wanted to ignore all the crazy theories in your head. “Where is my husband? Why didn't he come with you? I already said you can't steal it from me” You joked, despairing when Steve didn't laugh.

“I'm so sorry Y/n... Bucky...” Steve started to speak but you interrupted before he could finish his line of reasoning. "No! Don’t say that Steve, it’s not true, it can’t be true, don't you dare to lie to me!” You said taking steps back, with your hand on your stomach, feeling like you were going to throw up.

“He promised... He told me he would come back!” You started to cry as Steve walked over pulling you into a hug.

Your legs no longer had the strength to keep you standing when you started crying and sobbing in Steve's arms. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry” Steve kept repeating, even though his heart was breaking more and more.

“He promised me Steve! He has to come back” You repeated between sobs, Steve didn’t know what to say when your pain seemed to be consuming you.

That day, he laid you in bed, made you some tea and sat next to you until you Say a sentence that ended that super soldier.

“The worst lie I’ve ever heard: ‘I’ll never leave.’” You sighed with heavy eyes “Never mind”

After saying that you fell asleep, Steve couldn't put into words how painful it was to see your red and swollen face sleeping.

“I promise to take care of you Y/n, I won’t leave you alone, for Bucky”

Even so many years later Steve's heart hurts knowing that if he hadn't left, maybe you wouldn't have been alone, and now he feels even more guilty knowing that if he had been around, Hydra wouldn't have taken you.

He felt like it was his fault, even if it wasn't.

Steve's thoughts were interrupted by the door opening.

“Sergeant, Captain” Tony appeared in the room, a curious and relieved look on his face “She woke up”

[dootznbootz]

Don't get me wrong, I hate the telegony with every FIBER of my being. HOWEVER!! I feel like there's so much yummy angst potential with Odypen.

Like?? Imagine Penelope holding Odysseus' dead body. And it reminds her so much of when he'd fall asleep in her arms, in their bed holding an infant Telemachus. Because little baby Telemachus wouldn't stop crying so he had to be held in his papa's arms :3

But he's still crying to this day,, crying in the background, sobbing, hugging his mother from behind as she's holding her dead husband. Her husband that she waited 20 YEARS for. Her husband that's literally been threw hell and BACK, yet who never gave up because he wanted to see HER and their SON!!

He could've stayed with Calypso, he could've stayed with Kirke, he could've. But he DIDN'T. And I know damn well the moment he came back, and she saw him, she SAW on his face he's been threw shit. And imagine that, imagine the pain of someone you love more than the Sun experiencing that. Imagine that, and they did all of that, to see you.

People undermine that Penelope loves Odysseus just as much as Odysseus loves Penelope. It's been 20 years. She had every right to assume he's gone or get remarried. But she didn't. She had faith the entire time.

And she waited so long, and he went threw so much, just for him to get killed by some borderline (Not fully) rapeling. That's so heart-wrenching.

And for Telemachus, who never even KNEW his father. To suddenly see him again, to see how happy his mother is, how happy he is. Just for some bastard he has to call his half-brother to kill him. Telemachus knew so little of his father, only the stories Penelope told him. And now, sadly, it'll stay that way.

Telemachus and Penelope would fucking despise Telegonus. They've been waiting so long for this man, and this man has waited and had to go threw so much. All three of them did not go threw all that just for Telegonus to kill him. I don't care if it was an 'accident'. It doesn't matter if the killer didn't want to do it, it matter's that the victim's family lost someone they FUCKING LOVED.

Penelope would NEVER marry Telegonus, and Telemachus would never marry Kirke.

But Odysseus death gives us some JUICY angst. I hate it. But good god it scratches that angst-loving part of my brain SO GOOD. 😼

Feel free not to answer since this is a rather long ask/ramble :'D And ye, take care Mad! <3

Oh, also, just so it's not ALL just angst, a few Penelope and Baby Telemachus headcanons/shenanigans? They mean the world to both Odysseus AND me 🥹

So, this is a really fun ask...But I don't think you're going to get the answer you'd like from me :')

As many folks know, I am a big lover of fluff and very soft stuff. I have angst but even then I would consider it more hurt/comfort in a way as I do plan for the "comfort" to be what's most important :) I also just think of "angst" as just the "something that makes sense storywise".

The Tele-GONE-y to me, is just blatent whump. Not really my cup of tea.

Also the Tele-GONE-y has the whole bullshit about Odysseus doing fuck all in random war, getting married and having children with a random af woman, before coming back to get killed. So that's just...ew. All of it is ew.

And I don't even like the idea of Telegonus existing in any form. At most, Telegonus would only exist in my mind as Polites' son. (not based on Epic at all. This Polites is my own special guy. He's my lil weird goober of my own design reeeeee) My dear friend thehelplessmortals is the only person who I feel explores it in a way that makes sense to me and seems canon.

As you put it into words:

"And she waited so long, and he went through so much, just for him to get killed by some borderline (Not fully) rapeling. That's so heart-wrenching."

And it's just TOO heartwrenching for me :') I can't do it. It's honestly such a horrifying scenario that I got nauseous the first time I heard about it. (that's not even getting into the gross out of character marriage circle and Odysseus fucking around away from his family)

For me, I cannot see Circe (my Circe definitely) as a mother regardless. She wasn't made for motherhood. Also Odysseus and her only have sex once in my writing in exchange for his men to be turned back into humans. (as it's only stated explicitly once in the Odyssey)

The Odyssey also says that Odysseus' line only has one son each. That's Telemachus. (OdyPen can have a daughter though! >:3 Girldad Odysseus is very tasty for me)

If you're just into the angst of Odysseus' death, I got a bit of that though :'D

Penelope being 75% Naiads will live a long life. And Odysseus, being her husband, gets the advantages of having a magic Water wifey and that affects him in how he will live a long life as well (Calypso also gave him ambrosia/nectar to keep him alive. as he was nearly dead when he washed up.)

BUT. He is mostly mortal. He lives way beyond what is normal for Mortals but still.

His hair now fully gray. His breathing raspy and slow. He's slow to move...

Penelope lives a bit afterward. Sleeping and taking comfort in their nest that cradles her as she sleeps. She feels him everywhere. She grieves him endlessly.

Their nest starts to wilt. Only when she goes too does it come alive again.

And for some random Penelope and Telemachus headcanons :P

Nereids have lined bioluminescence, while NAIADS have spots. Like the black spots on the beloved rainbow trout 🥹 (they don't have the black spots. they just have spots that glow in their own control lol)

Telemachus gets "spots" from both his mama (naiad scales/glowbit) and his papa (freckles) 🥹

It's what they use to communicate underwater. And it's nice because even if you're not full naiad and don't have as many scales, you can still communicate as it's about the flickers :3 (Odysseus can understand these to a degree)

Very rarely do they "just randomly glow" as you know, don't wanna give away your thoughts. But it's cute because Odysseus will occasionally have a lightshow when one of them is dreaming.

I know a lot of people have Penelope see Odysseus in Telemachus constantly, and while she does to a degree, she is actually one of the few people who really emphasizes that he's his own person. You don't have to be good at whittling, you make such beautiful pottery. You like green, not orange. You don't have to pick that color when it's not your favorite and because other people simply get excited about you being like your dad sometimes. That type of stuff.

You take care too, Dear Anon! :D

[olivieblake]

I know it's SO silly to avoid posting spoilers on a fic that was written almost a decade ago but @wonniesverse asked about what happens in chapter 35 or 36 or whatever of Marked (you know the one) and I am putting my answer under the cut!!! it's unfortunately kind of a short answer lol

hi! i am so sorry if i've got the wrong account but i had just recently read the clean and marked dramione series you wrote on ao3, and i was genuinely FLOORED. yep it's me lol this was the first fic i had ever genuinely cried for, the way you expressed hermione's and draco's relationship so well. the fic was written so long ago - in 2016 - and you might have forgotten about it, ahahahah pls but i had one question i simply couldn't ignore for the life of me: when snape used the time turner, he went to another parallel universe, right?

sorry to interrupt you here, but no! he used the time turner to go back in time, within the same universe, in a time loop. as with the events of book 3, there is still only one universe and only one timeline—there are briefly two harrys and two hermiones in the book because they're the ones who used the time-turner, but in this case, only snape went back, so he's the only one who is experiencing both the current timeline and the rewritten past.

so the new universe's hermione and draco could feel the phantom original universe's draco and hermione's experiences, so the original universe must still have been existing and operating alongside the new parallel one, meaning that the original hermione and draco were still there (please correct me if i'm wrong!).

so again, there is only one timeline, but them being able to feel the echoes of other decisions and other lives was meant to be sort of ineffable. magic!!! etc etc

but i was wondering, if that was a separate timeline, what happened to the original universe's draco and hermione if they still existed? i know draco died in the original universe, but i was curious how the original universe's hermione (master of death) lived after that, and if she ever found joy again, or if she only talked to the ghost of draco forever, and i also wonder how theo fared in that original timeline. there are so many other questions i'd like to ask, but i'll keep this as short as i can.

I made a joke in this week's not writing video that the oversaturation of multiverse media has led to some confusion so yeah, the timeline is disrupted and written over, like—oops maybe this is too Aged a reference—but it's like when you record over an existing VHS and the original footage is simply lost. but there is also the concept of a palimpsest, which is what I wanted those echoes of another life to feel like

as for what would have happened if that timeline continued: what the story suggests (the reason snape went back to begin with) is that the timeline is hopeless—draco is dead and can't be resurrected, hermione maybe never moves on, she allows absolute power to corrupt her absolutely. but that was the point of the story, that the pressure point that re-starts the time loop each time is that draco dies and everything goes irreparably wrong from there. you are of course welcome to reimagine something else! but that was the point of writing a story that resets to canon; I was trying to resolve and explain all the places where something doesn't make sense, like whenever an adult makes a terrible and illogical decision

the way that you wrote of hermione's heartbreak truly tore me apart, and i cried unabashedly when i saw draco died. draco loved her so much and she loved him, so to kill one of them would be utter torture, and i hope the original hermione got to find peace or at the very least see draco in the afterlife. theo was so strong too - even though he wished he could be selfish and talk to draco too, he knew he couldn't take even the ghost of draco away from hermione, so he gave up his chance. i cannot even begin to describe how this story broke my heart and mended it again, and i'm happy that at least the hermione and draco in the other parallel universe got their happy ending, but i also worry about the original hermione and draco too. if you've read until here, thank you so so much for just indulging and entertaining this silly question of mine, and i wholly understand if you don't feel like reading this question anymore. nonetheless, regardless of if you read or reply to this message, i just wanted to let you know that this series was truly of the best i have ever read, and i thank you so so much for that. again, if this is the wrong account, i apologize! but the fic was written in 2016, and the author said this was her tumblr account, so i found the best match i could <3

hahahaah it's so funny to me that you would have any doubt that this was me... I still pretty much write endings that people get mad

but thank you so much for caring this much about the story and I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

[sidgeno-ficrecs]

this delicate place by @ljummen

sidgeno (2019, explicit, 32.8k) **content notes: mental illness, anxiety attacks, depression, trauma and its aftermath

“Are you?” Taylor asks unexpectedly. “Am I what?” Looking up from the stove, Sid finds her watching him with an odd look on her face. “Happy.” It should be an easy question to answer. Sid has escaped back to Canada after a career ending injury. It doesn’t dawn on him exactly how much early retirement has affected him, until Taylor introduces him to a YouTube channel where a firefighter talks about his own struggles with his mental health.

Hey Geno,

I just watched this video and realized that I’ve had several panic attacks over the course of a few months. I had one a few hours ago. I haven’t experienced anything traumatic, but anxiety (I assume, based on your description in this video) has been sneaking up on me. A week ago, I bought two plants, like you suggested in another video. Today’s panic attack was triggered by me noticing that they were dead (the plants, I mean).

I feel stupid for reacting to something so trivial. I haven’t watched that many of your videos, but from what I understood, you actually experienced something bad. So why am I broken for no reason?

this is a hard time of year.

it's dark, it's cold (if you're in the northern hemisphere), and for me at least, it always seems like the post-holiday winter stretch is when bad things happen. it's easy to get lost in your own head and spend hours dwelling on what's gone wrong, or what might go wrong, and get stuck in a negative feedback loop that can be so, so hard to break out of.

i've mentioned before that i don't love fics that diagnose sid (or geno, but it's usually sid) with certain neurodivergencies because in my experience it leads to people talking about him like he actually has x or y and it makes me uncomfortable, but i re-read this fic last night because i've been feeling down recently and i think it deserves a moment in the spotlight.

this story is a very raw, honest look at what it can be like to deal with depression and anxiety, from the perspective of someone who never has before and doesn't know what's going on and needs an extra push to see what's happening and get help.

depression is a lonely, isolating experience, and that's part of what makes it so dangerous. it's so easy to not notice that you're withdrawing and losing yourself until it's almost too much to climb out of, and on top of all that you've lost all motivation to take steps to get better. it's a vicious, evil little trick the brain can play on you, and @ljummen walks us through sidney's experience with it with care, honesty, and compassion.

this fic made me feel seen. it can be hard to read—sid has panic attacks and we as readers experience them right along with him, along with the other symptoms of depression—but if you're in a space where reading about it won't make you feel worse or trigger anything, i really recommend it. we see sid struggle, we see him be in denial of what he's dealing with—what does he have to be depressed over, after all? what trauma does he have to deal with?—and, crucially, we see him turn a corner and start to get better.

i think that's the magic of this story. sid manages to step outside of the black pit he's stuck in long enough to take steps to get help, and he meets someone who knows him and understands what he's going through, and they fall in love despite the obstacles in their way. it's a story about someone whose life isn't going the way they thought it would, but who manages to see that's not necessarily the end of the world, and for me at least reading this story gave me comfort and hope.

yes, it can be dark at times. life can be hard, so hard that it seems easier to just go back to bed and try and wait it out. but you also might meet someone who sees you, and knows you, and is there for you, and who you can see and know and support in return. there's light out there, if you can peek outside the curtain to look for it.

i hope you're all taking care of yourselves. be gentle with your own mind if you've been having a difficult time. reach out to the people who love you—they want to be there for you, even if you're hearing that little voice that says you're just a burden.

and if you're up to it, read this story, which will hopefully provide you a little comfort and escape and hope, like it does for me when i'm having bad days.

read it here on ao3!

and don't forget to leave a comment!

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Hello. Okay, so I'm going to start this off with 'this might be an crazy thing to ask'.

I just saw your post from January about Nana Shimura, and I feel like I'm insane.

I'm legitimately not trying to be belligerent here, but can you please explain to me, in your opinion, why you think that it is Nana's fault for anything that has happened in relation to her? I'm just trying to understand, because I don't see how anything could necessarily be her fault solely. Specifically when talking about the 'creation' of Tomura.

If AFO had wanted to get his hands on someone from that bloodline, if only to be a bastard or whether it was for an actual reason, he would have done it regardless of what Nana's choices would have been.

And I can't help but notice the fact that all of this skips an entire generation. Everyone is so quick to blame Nana for doing what humans do, I.E. having a husband and a child, and I feel I'm not really qualified to speak on that front because I never have wanted children and I don't foresee that changing at this ripe old age I'm at, so I'm not even going to go into whether or not I think it was wrong of her to have a family.

I just find it very interesting that people are blaming Nana for something that happened literal years after her own physical death. Things that happened at the hands of her own son. Things that would have never happened had it not been for her son, that she had no part in.

It's just that the way I see it, that man had years upon years to come to terms with what his mother had done in order to protect him, but in the end he failed anyway. Whether he knew it or not he failed more than his own mother did. He failed and he gave his fucking own child over to this horrible person, and he couldn't have been completely ignorant of that, let's be honest. Whether or not what she did was the right choice, Nana gave him up for a reason, and the fact that he couldbut possibly put himself in his mother's shoes, after how many years? Is more telling of him than it is of her.

Even if what Nana did wasn't the right choice, then what WAS the right choice? How was there a wrong or a right choice when you could never possibly predict the outcomes of whatever you chose to do? In my opinion, people are trying to pin everything on Nana when all she was doing was doing the best she could with what she was given, and I think that's unfair and stupid.

I haven't been following you for long, but I've seen your posts for quite a while, so I actually do respect your opinion, which is why I am asking you.

I really don't like the way Horikoshi writes women as a whole in this particular story, and I don't know if that's a track record of his or if this is his only work or whatever, I don't really pay attention to that sort of thing. And that's a whole other post for another time. But I just find it really weird that everyone seems to be coming after Nana while simultaneously defending her son, when her own son is the one who is committing these atrocities long after she is dead?I find it very weird indeed.

Sorry for the long post, I have far too many feelings about MHA.

First of all, sorry for taking so long to answer and thank you for taking the time to write this ask 💜

Nana Shimura is one of my favorite bnha female characters because of how complex and flawed she is!!!

Here's the short answer:

Regardless of the actions of the people around her, Nana Shimura had a responsibility with her son as a mother and with the world as a hero.

We all have to make decisions without knowing the outcomes. That's life. It doesn't absolve us from the consequences of our actions. It also doesn't mean we are evil, but simply human. It is in our nature to make mistakes and make bad decisions sometimes.

It seems extremely harsh to judge a woman for doing her best against an enemy that was so much stronger than her, but that's the whole point of writing a character like Nana. There are no easy answers.

What was the correct thing to do instead of abandoning Kotaro? How could she have won against AFO? How could one (1) woman do both and do it well?

Nana isn't responsible for what Kotaro did so many years after she left him, but she did leave him. She had a son and then left him because she needed to be a hero. We don't know the exact circumstances of how she had Kotaro, but many fans ask why she had him if she knew her hero job would put him at such risk. Or why she chose to be a hero over being his mother.

Logically, we know it was to save the world. It's just that her choice isn't black and white. She caused a lot of pain in doing what she did, even if she contributed to a lot of joy.

AFO defeating her was inevitable. Like her OFA predecessors, they were alone on their journey. See, it took Deku an army to fight AFO and his influence.

There's also the fact that Nana took Toshinori in after she left Kotaro. Of course she only did it because the kid meant to sacrifice himself for the cause just like her, but it doesn't erase the parallel between Toshinori and Kotaro. One got to enjoy her company until she died because he had the right conditions to be her heir while the other lost her forever because she loved him.

Sadly, her love didn't save Kotaro and didn't make All Might's life easier.

Any person with responsibilities is a person with failures. That rings true for every single bnha hero and villain.

The way I see it, people either have a reason to hate her or not.

Some dislike her 'cause she left Kotaro. Some are unreadable in their judgment and hate her just because she is a woman. Some just dislike her general writing or don't enjoy her type of character.

At the end of the day, Nana Shimura is still a tremendous female character. She inspired All Might himself (he who is hailed as the best hero of all times). She faced AFO alone and she died mocking him with a smile. She sacrificed her happiness and all the things dear to her in order to save the world. Nana passed down OFA and kept hope alive in a time full of violence and chaos. She is one of the best female pro-heroes to have existed and the only female OFA user. He was freaking jacked with muscle because her quirk was float.

Her flaws depict her greatness and the weight on her shoulders. Nana Shimura, everyone.

[generallysapphic]

to hold your hand in mine +18 (shuri x riri)

riri has a fear of drowning, and shuri wants to help, but she finds it’s more of riri’s guilt thats haunting her.

riri centric, i could write essays about this woman 🫶🏽

this is more so a character and relationship study piece i’ve been dying to write for these cute lil lesbians for a very long time. healthy black lesbian relationships mean a lot to me so i had to write them again!! this is more so angsty than most of my stories so expect that! (queen ramonda is alive, namor is dead)

warnings; established relationship, descriptive nightmares, LOTS of survivors guilt, thoughts of death, panic attacks, fear of death and drowning, talks of death, small argument and slight miscommunication, lots of crying, heavy feelings of guilt, protective! shuri/ strap on sex, slight hair pulling, soft core sex, more crying, overstim, pet names, first time, praise kink, communication.

song inspo: ceilings by lizzy mcalpine (please go listen!)

dedicated to all the shuriri lesbians/sapphics out there, i see you and understand you 🫶🏽

tag list!! @shuriszn @msplayas @zayswriting @dejaonline @fetchyourlife @crispynightmaremagazine @verachii @bubshri @karimwillia @ashleighshaw @letitias-fav @neptoons1998 @shurixririshipper @cansah2002-blog @widowmakker @tuesdaylovesu @chocoflagcutii @zhanylai @blackgirlfariy @i-luvv-stars @heartsforjojo @kamorsstuff @jessiap @pidgemotoiii @shuriris-suff @shurixririshipper

riri wakes up with a jolt, the air flying out of her lungs, gasping deeply, as she grounds herself on the bed, squeezing the sheets between her hands. she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to count back from 50 like her therapist said, but her ears are still ringing, her eyes are still burning, she can still hear shuri, ���mama! mama, wake up, wake up!” and it’s too much.

she shudders, still trying to count, finding the kimoyo beads shuri gave her on her wrist and toying with them, just to feel something to calm herself. griot alerts, “is something wrong, ms williams?” and riri blinks, looking down and letting out an uncomfortable laugh, “no, no, i’m fine. sorry to wake you… well, i guess you don’t sleep,” she says softly, moving the sheets away from her legs and sitting on the edge of the bed and shaking her leg.

griot starts, “do you want me to call the panther for you?” and riri’s stomach aches, her head ringing, “no! no, no, i’m seriously fine. do not call shuri,” she reiterates and griot speaks again, “your heart is pacing at 132 beats a minute and it appears your REM schedule has been disrupted. it seems… did you have a nightmare, princess?”

angrily, riri takes the beds off and sets them on her dresser, it’s too many questions she can’t answer right now. she walks away, heading to her bathroom and running some cool water to calm herself down.

she had been having the same nightmare for over three months now. she’s always drowning, it starts, all the water from the ocean feels like it’s sat on her chest and she can’t move. her eyes aren’t open, but she can see and her brain is unresponsive and nothing makes sense, expect the queen. the queen of wakanda, someone she barely knows is rushing towards her, holding her softly and pulling her to the light. she can feel it on her skin, and she knows someone is giving her CPR because the weight on her chest is a softer one, one of hope and love that wants her to wake up. she never does though, her eyes still closed and even the queen isn’t awake. but she still feels everything, she hears shuri screaming and crying and it tears her up inside, she feels like she’s dying, it’s awful—

riri blinks, the tears in her eyes falling into the sink of running water. she looks in the mirror, when did she start crying? she frowns, wiping her tears away with wet hands and cutting off the light once more, walking in the darkness to her bed. she looks at the clock on her dresser, 4:18 am, and sighs, laying back down and looking at the ceiling.

her thoughts are loud, i can’t breathe, i hate this, i miss shuri, why doesn’t she hate me, why am i alive— and she stirs to her side, closing her eyes and trying to calm herself. her kimoyo beads go off, the only chime it could be being shuri and she turns over to read the message.

shuri : my love, griot says your vitals are spiked are you alright?

riri frowns again, exhaling a deep breath as her tears form once more, why are you worried about me, hate me and make this easier, please —

you: i’m fine, just had a bad dream.

shuri’s response is immediate, do you want to come home? tell me about it?

riri bites at her lip, home, home and safe with shuri, home with the queen and throne room she got drowned in, home with the mother she nearly killed, who almost died trying to save her, you: no, it’s fine.

shuri types again: i’ll be there in the morning.

riri groans, knowing there’s no way to convince shuri she’s fine and rolls over, accepting it. it makes her heart flutter though, to know that shuri loves her that much, but the fluttering ultimately stops when she’s overcome with guilt. why? why does shuri love her? she can’t fathom it, it was so strange to get that long paragraph in the middle of the night four months ago of shuri’s undying love for her. riri remembers staring at the message for so long, hoping to wake up and never see it again.

her therapist says her guilt is making her feel unlovable, like there’s no way someone can be with her and love for who she is and riri always argues that it makes sense! how could shuri love her; she’s the reason the city flooded, the reason namor wanted to kill the queen in the first place, the reason shuri is the queen now! all because she wanted some fucking extra credit? shuri should’ve let her die, she always concludes.

her eyes feel full once her tangent ends, her poor sheets being picked apart at her hands. riri knows there’s no way she can tell shuri any of this, shuri would just make it worse telling her that riri wasn’t at fault and that she had no way of knowing, but what if she did? how convenient is it that a government official ordains her work and accepts it from MIT? it was right in front of her face, she just chose to look away, she’s so fucking stupid—

her beads go off again, shuri: please call me.

her heart is heavy, she can tell shuri is worried and only one of them needs to be awake right now. she calls her on the phone, it ringing once before shuri picks up, “hi, sthandwa, are you okay?” her accent melting over the phone. riri smiles sadly, eyes wanting to spill over, “yea, i’m fine, i told you— just a nightmare.”

shuri picks it up quick though, “you sound like you’ve been crying,” and riri groans inwardly, damn shuri and her intuition. “well, i haven’t, so,” she snaps back, and shuri sighs. “riri,” and the soft call of her name makes her heart ache, she’s squeezing her sheets again, and closing her eyes to brace herself. “you can tell me, you know? i’m always here for you,”

yeah, why? why can’t you just fucking hate me? “i’m literally fine, shuri, now go to bed, you have to be up in the morning to come get me,” riri jokes slightly, trying to move in from this topic as fast as possible. shuri sighs out a laugh, “i will, but i was worried about you. you haven’t slept with your beads on in so long and the one time you do, griot tells me your heart is pacing and you woke up so suddenly, it just reminded me of a not too long ago.”

riri sighs, she had stopped sleeping with her beads in bed so shuri wouldn’t have a track record of the three months of nightmares and waking up to she’s been going through. the first time she did leave them on, shuri was on top of her health just like now; asking questions and checking on her. so she stopped— and she knew it hurt shuri’s feelings, her kimoyo beads being an extension of her love for her all the way in wakanda, so they can always be connected and close to one another— but riri couldn’t do it, she’d have them on all day and when she slept shuri would know, she’d know about her guilt and it would kill riri to think shuri could find out. “yeah i know, it was just another nightmare, im seriously fine,” riri wants to get off the phone, shuri’s voice so close to her and how caring she is makes all of riri’s body ache.

she hears another sigh from her girlfriend, “okay.. i’m choosing to believe you, love, but please. if there’s anything you need—” riri cuts her off, “yes i know, shuri, i’ll tell you. now go to bed so i can see you in the morning, okay?” she can see shuri’s smile who finally agrees and whispers an ‘i love you’ and riri whispers it back, hanging up and sighing. she looks up at the ceiling, tears spilling over into her bonnet and she once more picks at the sheets and shakes her leg.

shuri’s at her dorm, dora milaje and all, at 10 in the morning. riri had already accepted she wasn’t going back to sleep that night and had decided to stay awake and pack. she got a run in around campus, leaving her beads once more, then decided to get breakfast while she wait on shuri.

when they finally meet at riri’s dorm, shuri pulls her into a deep kiss, rubbing up her back and keeping her close. the inches between them makes shuri dip down a bit to do so. riri wraps her arms around shuri’s neck, smiling into her mouth. she pulls away first, “hi,” she says softly, their foreheads touching. shuri smiles down at her, eyes flashing between her lips and eyes, “hi, my love,” and riri wants to double over, shuri’s nicknames might be the death of her one day.

they’re escorted to the jet quickly, everyone at MIT not even surprised the queen of wakanda was here once more to get her girlfriend. they sit close to each other on the plane, riri’s head on shuri’s shoulders as okoye flies steady to wakanda. shuri whispers to her, “did you go back to sleep after i called you?” and riri looks up and nods, “yeah,” and it’s obviously a lie, she knows she looks exhausted, all from crying, not sleeping, and jogging in just the span of 6 hours.

shuri frowns, “you clearly didn’t, we’ll take a nap once we get back,” and riri wants to hide her smile in shuri’s shoulder, playing with her hand as her body heats up. shuri was always so attentive to riri, always making her take care of herself. you don’t deserve it though, her thoughts creep through and she sighs, closing her eyes, just wanting a small moment of peace. she feels shuri stroke her cheek in her hand and okoye announces they’re very close to home.

riri bites at her lips before it slips out, “how’s your mom?” she whispers lowly and shuri smiles a bit, some sadness on her lips, “doing well. she’s still sleeping,” she says back and riri nods, not wanting to push the boundary any further. queen ramonda’s coma was nearly three months old at this point and even with all the wakandan tech in the world and riri’s help, she still slept, breathing deeply and laying silently.

riri remembers when she woke up first, coughing up water and still hearing screams despite her ears full. the queen was breathing, kimoyo beads shining a bright green to show she was alive, just not awake. shuri rushed to her side and aided her immediately, shaking her and giving her cpr, nakia trying to answers shuri’s screams of “why won’t she wake up?!” as fast as she could. okoye came to riri’s side, holding her and asking her if she was alright but riri couldn’t think; why wasn’t the queen waking up? why did riri wake up and she didn’t? namor speaks amongst all the terror, “shuri. you’re the queen now, take responsibility for your actions,” and he points to riri who sits, frozen, before she looks back at the queen, beads still bright with no sign of her waking up.

she shudders at the memory, tucking her forehead deeper into shuri’s shoulder who leans against her, “you can see her, yknow,” she whispers quietly and shuri’s offered it before but riri feels her chest heave, the weight of seeing the queen again pulling her entire body lower into the ship, “no, i’m— im okay, yknow i don’t do good in hospitals,” and she isn’t completely lying, she really does hate all the medicine and iv bags and such, just reminds her of when she was younger. and shuri nods, completely understanding and loving, and it makes riri feel sick.

okoye speaks, “your highness, we are home,” and riri is grateful she doesn’t have to talk anymore. she gets up to look out the window, the city is still fixing itself, some water still be flushed out and some homes demolished and riri shudders and walks away from the window and sits back down. shuri holds her hand once more, “do you want to work in the lab today?” and she nods, knowing she’d rather be distracted than anything. shuri smiles when riri does and the plane lands. she stands first, “but we’ll get some rest first, yeah?” and riri looks into her eyes, tiredly, and nods.

many of the dora milaje grab riri’s luggage and she tries to help to mostly avoid sleeping with shuri but shuri reassures her that it’s fine. they walk down the corridors and pass the lab before riri stops, “one quick project before?” she says slightly smirking, knowing shuri really couldn’t resist. she turns, sighing with a fond smile on her face, “…one. just one,” she reinforces and riri nods and laughs, a genuine noise she hadn’t heard from herself in a minute.

they walk in together, doctors and scientists alike greeting them and shuri walks them over to her side, moving some of her past projects. riri sees another two, three sets of kimoyo beads, but a slimmer, slicker style. she rolls up her sleeves and finds some goggles, “what are these?” she asks, looking at the different styles. shuri turns, gloves and goggles on and smiles a bit sadly, “i was working on making a different design for you, i figured you couldn’t sleep with my original version of beads because they were too big,” she says and kisses riri’s forward before walking past her to get another pair of gloves.

riri sighs, she knows, god fucking dammit, she knows how much it hurts shuri to keep her out, but she can’t afford shuri knowing. she really can’t, “oh, thank you,” she says quietly and shuri comes to back to her smiling and handing her a pair of gloves.

one project turns into five and before they know it, the sun is setting low over the city and shuri and riri have been up and working since they arrived home.

shuri practically forced riri to go and get some food with her, which usually results in shuri leaving with a huff, grabbing some food for the both of them and feeding riri bites as she works. riri of course does the same thing, missing her mouth sometimes because of her height which shuri then promptly makes fun of. they laugh and work together, riri’s mind finally at ease with her thoughts.

it’s only when shuri’s beads go off, griot reminding her she has her daily visit with her mother in fifteen minutes. riri stills, looking at her, “you— you can go, i can finish up in here,” she says and shuri looks at her, words so clearly ready to be said but instead she purses her lips and smiles, “we’ll get some rest after i come back,” and she says it like she won’t let riri stay up any longer, leaning forward and kissing riri’s forehead once more. the contact makes riri smile, tilting up and connecting their lips instead. shuri smiles against her mouth, pulling away before riri distracts her once more. she walks away with another quick kiss and another before finally leaving, riri alone in the lab with googles and tracksuit still on.

she sighs, taking off her goggles and gloves, fiddling with her beads once more. this time griot doesn’t alert, probably adapting to the fact that she likes to mess with it rather than something being wrong. but instead she speaks, “hey griot?”

the system alarms, “yes, princess?” and she bites her lips again, “how long was shuri working on her newest kimoyo beads?” and she knows griot knows. he speaks after a second of calculating, “around 25 days,” and riri’s body floods with guilt, shuri had been working so had to make her accommodations since she’s known about her nightmares. she sighs out, “is there something wrong princess?” and she shakes her head, trying to steady her heart.

“princess, your heart is beating rather fast, should i call the panther?” and more guilt rises, “no, she’s — she’s with her mom, i’m fine, i just need some rest.” riri repeats once she thinks about shuri long enough, sighing and walking out of the lab. shuri is coming out her mothers room, smiling and she looks up at riri, “oh, you’re done? ready for bed then?” and riri steadies her heart and fakes a smile, nodding.

they head to shuri’s room together, hand in hand and riri speaks first, “how was your mom?” and shuri smiles, “good. she talks in her sleep, so sometimes she responds.” and riri smiles and laughs a bit once shuri does too, trying to keep the wave of guilt down in her throat. they reach shuri’s room fast, the bed made and some clothes on it, pajamas riri notes.

shuri speaks, “i figured you’d want to wear mine since you keep taking them anyways,” she says and riri smirks and faces her, “you’re just mad i look better in them,” and shuri laughs, hugging her from behind, kissing her scalp, “maybe. i don’t even wear them anyways, so, mutually beneficial relationship,” she mumbles and riri smiles sadly, holding on her forearms. shuri stays there a bit, like she knows riri needs it, which riri does, so she’s grateful, and then pulls away, the safety of her leaving riri sighing, “i’m going to get ready for bed,” shuri says and riri nods.

once shuri walks off, riri undresses and envelopes herself in shuri’s clothes, the scent of her girlfriend surrounding her and making her smile. she walks into the attached bathroom with shuri, who’s brushing her teeth, and smiles at her in the mirror, seeing that riri’s toothbrush was still here. she starts as well, leaning against shuri and eyes closing slightly, the lack of sleep she got finally catching up to her. shuri’s saying something to her but her eyelids are heavy and she can barely hear her. “riri,” shuri whispers and she looks up, blinking and toothbrush still in her mouth. “i was saying come on before you fall asleep at the sink, love,”

riri nods, complacent enough to just listen and spits, rinsing her mouth and leaning her head in shuri’s shoulder, who laughs and leads her to her bed. riri falls first, on the left side like she normally does and shuri pulls the covers over her, laying on her right side and cuddling up next to her. riri settles on her collarbone, sighing out a small “goodnight,” and shuri kisses it back on her forehead. riri really doesnt want to go to sleep, she knows she’ll have another nightmare, but her body is exhausted, she can’t move. she hopes tonight will be the one night she doesnt.

her eyelids slide shut as she feels shuri’s breathing on her face and it calms her down, her body finally shutting down.

and she’s dreaming again. and again, there’s no light, she’s surrounded by complete darkness. she feels the water on chest, filling her ears and surrounding her skin, and it’s a lot but this is the mild part. she’s waiting, she knows what happens next— the queen comes to her and saves her but it doesn’t help either of them. she knows this and expects it.

but no one comes. her body is sinking lower and lower into the endless sea, and it’s getting darker and darker and the amount of weight of water increases more and more until she feels it flooding her body, filling in every crevice and invading her mind. she tries to move, maybe even open her mouth and scream out for help but her body is stiff, like she’s already accepted this is it. and maybe she has— “riri,” maybe it’s better this way, maybe the queen got out and the real problem was just her and everyone knew she was just dead weight, her stupid fucking extra credit, “riri!” maybe she was left behind for a reason, maybe—

“riri!”

and she opens her eyes, gasping and sitting up, clutching at the t-shirt on her chest, eyes wet and mind reeling. she breathes hard and looks around, this wasn’t her dorm, where was she—?

“ri—” shuri’s voice stirs her, hand on her shoulder and she locks eyes with her confused and still breathing hard, “riri, you were— you were crying, and you wouldn’t wake up, what happened? are you alright?” and shuri’s holding her steady, hands on her shoulders and waiting for a response as riri breathes. she can’t speak just yet, she needs to feel something, she needs something between her fingers.

shuri sees riri’s hands picking at the sheets and picks them up in one of hers, holding them tight and bringing her back down. she’s uses the other hand to pull riri in her chest and keeps her there, holding riri’s two hands in one of hers. shuri shushes her, whispering as riri blinks away her nightmare.

shuris hand in hers calms her. she squeezes, once then twice and shuri repeats the motion. it settles her heart, and she breathes slower and slower as time passes. once it’s finally over, riri hides away in shuri’s chest, eyes wet and full and mumbles out, “i’m sorry,”

and shuri gapes at her, no tension or anger in her voice but all confusion, “for what?” and riri sniffles, still hiding, “for.. for scaring you, i guess,”

shuri sighs, “you had a panic attack, you shouldn’t apologize love,” and she says it like it’s a simple understanding and riri nods like she gets it but it doesn’t matter, she still feels sorry and completely useless, like some type of anchor shuri has to carry around now.

shuri speaks again, “can you… can you tell me what you were dreaming about?” and it’s said softly, shuri knowing she’s treading in the water that riri was both afraid of and never wanting to cross. she shakes her head in shuri’s chest and shuri sighs again, “riri, i… i want to help you, my love, please tell me how.” riri’s body heats up with embarrassment. she shakes out of shuri’s embrace and wipes her face, “there’s nothing you need to do,” she whispers harshly, getting up and heading towards the bathroom.

shuri frowns at her in the bed, slightly grabbing her wrist and keeping her there, “what do you mean, ‘need to’? i want to help, you just had a panic attack in your sleep so im worried—” riri cuts her off with a jolt of her shoulders, “don’t. shuri, stop it,” shuri’s eyebrows lower and riri avoids eye contact, trying to keep all the tears and word vomit in her head. her thoughts are begin, see? all you do is stress her out, every since you met it’s completely useless in telling her, you’d just cause more trouble, “look, just.. just let it go okay?” she whispers once her thoughts get too loud, and she means it literally, but her subconscious knows she means it over all too; she wants shuri to let her go, to stop worrying and keeping her around its so fucking useless—

“no.” her girlfriend replies, standing and moving riri around to look at her, “i don’t know who’s told you what, but i want to help you, love, i won’t let it go. you’re my girlfriend and i love you, so please, tell me.” and it’s a hushed promise in the night that has riri blinking away tears more and more before she can’t do it. her entire chest feels like the world is on top of it, she can feel every breath she takes spiking her lungs and it’s torture. some tears spill while she’s looking everywhere but shuri’s face, but a gentle hand guides her back to it, shuri looking at her with encouraging and loving eyes, and riri breaks.

her whole body heaves in, eyes spilling over and she falls forward, shuri enveloping her with ease and love, holding her steady as riri just sobs. it’s completely ugly and loud and embarrassing but she can finally let it go, and shuri doesn’t say a thing, she hold riri tight, not tight enough to restrict her lungs— as riri’s breathing heavy and hard— but tight enough to let riri know she’s right there.

and riri accepts it; squeezing at shuri’s back and holding her tighter than she’s ever held her before, her eyes stinging and lungs burning as she sobs quietly. “i’m— im so sorry, i’m such a fucking idiot, i’m sorry—” riri’s mumbling out, and shuri pulls away, wiping her face, shaking her head, “no, you have nothing to apologize for, my love, it’s fine—”

and for cuts her off, shaking her head and still holding on to her hands, “no, no it’s not fine, i— i hurt you, and your family, and your mom— fuck, it’s all my fault, my stupid fucking project, the only reason namor was here was because of me, shuri, it is my fault, i— i’m sorry,”

and shuri gasps a bit, finally understanding. riri had felt like she was the reason for all of this— her mom, the city, the war they had, shuri becoming the black panther in the first place. she had been struggling with this guilt all this time and didn’t even say anything. shuri’s heart broke, how could she not have know? she blinks, there’s not time to feel sorry for herself, she thinks and gathers herself, still wiping riri’s tears and holding her close. “riri,” she whispers softly and riri hiccups and sobs, before breathing steady and look at her, eyes red and body still shaking.

shuri smiles sadly at her, “i know how you feel,” she says and riri frowns, not understanding. shuri continues, “i know the guilt and blame you feel for not doing something sooner, for not knowing earlier. i know, my love. if i had known my brother was sick, i would have saved him,” she whispers the last part to riri alone and riri’s eyebrows raise a bit, eyes burning. shuri’s eyes fill a bit, “but i did the best i could with what information i had. i tried, love. i tried so hard. and you did too. you are, in fact, trying so hard to make it right, correct?”

riri starts to retort but shuri doesn’t let her get it out, “you are,” she answers for her, “immediately after what namor had done to you, to my mother, you helped me make my suit. you helped us develop the heat devices to dry him out, yes? you helped me because you wanted to, because you wanted to try and make it right,” riri starts to shake her head, to retort and not accept shuri’s reasoning but shuri keeps her still.

“you have nothing to feel guilty over,” she whispers, looking deep into her eyes, trying to convey the best she could. riri blinks, eyes still leaking and a small smile forms on her lips, “yeah?” she says softly and shuri nods again, smiling back, “i promise,” and riri actually, truly believes her.

riri sleeps all throughout the entire night after shuri wipes her faces and kisses her over and over again. she doesn’t dream, her mind just feels like it’s floating in a spacious peace for the night.

when she wakes up, it’s the first time she feels rested. riri doesn’t have the angst she normally does in her heart, and she doesn’t immediately start pulling at her sheets. she blinks a bit, fixing her scarf and sitting up, realizing she’s alone. she looks down at her wrist, “griot, where’s shuri?”

and it speaks, “with the queen. she appears to have woken up,” and riri’s body moves before she can think. she’s awake, she’s awake, i have to see her, thank her, her mind is reeling, brushing her teeth as fast as she can, and rushing out of the door. she gets to the queens room fast, the large golden doors starting back at her. riri’s hand shakes as she lifts it to knock, fingers tingling and she taps twice.

before shuri comes to the door, riri breaths in and out, calming herself. shuri opens the door, eyes wet and smile bright, “good morning,” and riri smiles, “hi,” she says softly, just looking past her. shuri laughs a bit, “oh right, you’re not here to see me, mother you’ve got riri more than i do, i can’t believe it,” and shuri’s joking and riri hears it, a soft, quiet laugh from queen ramonda as shuri steps aside, revealing the queen.

riri’s heart almost breaks, she still looks so sweet, smiling and eyes low and obviously still waking up. she sat up, her hair in small twists and oiled, something she knew shuri would take the time to do. riri’s eyes nearly fill in seconds as she walks forward stuttering, “i’m— im sorry, and thank you, i’m so happy you’re awake, i’m so sorry, i—” and queen ramonda waves her hand, shaking her head, “child, you are safe. that is all i wanted, and you see? i am fine, stop saying sorry,”

and riri feels the way she did last night, ramonda felt like she was the last word, when she’s finally at her bed, ramonda takes riri’s hands in hers, pulling her close. and riri leans in, blinking and crying softly, “you make my daughter so happy, riri. and i knew she’d have someone to look after her, if not me,” and riri nods, wiping her eyes and smiling and shuri pipes in, “you never told me that, did you know riri and i were dating before then? because we werent,” she says looking at the both of them, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“ah, a mother always knows,” she smiles out and riri bites her lip, “that’s… that’s okay, right? like do i need your permission or anything?” and she means it honestly and ramonda laughs, “no, you’re both grown, shuri knows what she wants and i’m sure you do too. no need to ask for anything my love, you have a home here,” and riri nods, smacking her lips once she hears shuri mumble, “i said that too,”

the rest of the morning is spent talking. ramonda tells shuri of the dreams she had. how she spent time with her husband and saw her brother in law. t’challa had visited her a couple of times as well and shuri would tear up and squeeze her hand. the three of them talked for hours, well into the afternoon, and griot had to alert one of the scientists to bring the three of them lunch, as they hadn’t even eaten.

ramonda was up and moving after her second check in during the midday, smiling and laughing as her legs wobbled a bit as she got used to walking again, shuri there all the way helping her. it made riri happy, some of the guilt she still felt in the back of her brain fogged away with joy and forgiveness, finally happy and clear minded.

and shuri was next to her and ramonda the whole time, holding her hand when riri wasn’t sure if she should ask a question and encouraging her to talk. ramonda did the same, listening sweetly and nodding along as riri spoke, cooing her and coaxing her to open up about her nightmares and she always reassured her, “i would have saved you in every lifetime, you should not feel guilty about that,” and riri always smiles, playing with her hands that eventually become shuri’s instead.

the day ends quickly, doctors and scientists aided queen ramonda to her actual room, shuri helping her there. riri stays behind a bit, watching softly before ramonda turns to her, “you take care of yourself, alright?” and riri feels her eyes weld up again and nods, shuri smiling at her.

riri walks to shuri’s bedroom lightheaded. she plays with her kimiyo beads, this time not anxious but just pleasantly bubbly. she giggles a bit when she sits back down on the bed. she’d normally dread this part of the day, heart heavy and brain nervous about going to sleep but she just feels… content.

shuri comes in a moment later while riri’s deep in thought. “hey, are you alright?” and riri smiles and walks to her, opening her arms and pulling her into a deep hug, smiling hard into her neck. shuri of course accepts it, pulling her close and laughing a bit, “what?” shuri whispers and riri pulls back to look at her, feeling all the love in the world.

she shrugs a bit shy, “just… thank you, i guess. and i’m sorry i didn’t say anything, again, i was just—” shuri shakes her head, “it’s fine, i’m just happy you’re feeling better now, right? nothing else you want to say?” and riri shakes her head, tilting up to connect their mouths.

shuri accepts it quietly, holding her close and sighing into her mouth. shuri rubs up and down her back, and riri moans a bit, feeling shuri’s mouth overcome hers and it’s an amazing feeling, she pulls shuri closer to get more of it. riri’s head reels, suddenly light and fogged, shuri overcoming all of her senses.

riri pulls away first after she feels herself through her underwear, “sorry,” she whispers and looks at how wet shuri’s lips are, body hot. “for what?” shuri says back and riri shys up again, “i don’t know, we’ve never.. yknow done that, so i didn’t wanna push your boundaries,” she says and shuri’s eyebrows raise a bit, pulling riri close, “okay, well what are you comfortable with?” and riri sways a bit, biting her lip and glancing away, “i mean, whatever you’re comfortable with,”

shuri laughs a bit, “okay.. what do you want to do?” shuri emphasizes and pulls riri closer, mouths ghosting over each other, and riri flirts back, “what you wanna do,” she whispers against her mouth, them sliding against each other once more. riri moans a bit louder now, opening her mouth and leaning forward, running her fingers against shuri’s curls. shuri groans a bit when she feels riri tug and it causes riri to smile against her mouth.

they had talked about it, of course. sex wasn’t a conversation either of them strayed from, and they both agreed it’d be best to do it when they had the time and had the mind space for it, as they both took sexual intimacy very seriously. so, it doesn’t surprise riri at all that the time for it was when she finally clears her mind of all the anxieties she had been plagued with.

shuri leads them both to the bed, toppling over riri laughing all the way when they fall and disconnect for a bit. riri’s still in shuri’s pajamas, then just a bit long for her and shuri uses it to her advantage; pulling away from her mouth and kissing at her neck, a place she so rarely is. riri gasps against her, pulling at her curls again, feeling shuri groan against the small space between her ear and neck. it causes her to smile, “you like when i pull your hair?” she whispers,sultry, and shuri pulls away to look at her, pupils blown wide and lips wet, “i like when you do everything,” she says, honest and breathless and riri tries to stop her legs from crossing to hide her arousal. “yeah?” riri asks and shuri nods, sliding her hands underneath her night shirt, riri’s hot stomach connecting with her cold hands.

riri arches into the touch, sighing, and still holding onto shuri’s neck, “yes,” she speaks again, leaning down to kiss riri’s exposed skin. “i like when you’re honest with me,” she mumbles against her chest, pulling the shirt off, exposing her breasts, nipples up and waiting. shuri licks her mouth at the sight of her, “i like when your body is honest with me,” she sighs out, dazed, trailing her hands up to squeeze the skin between her fingers, riri gasping out a moan and closing her eyes and holding on to shuri’s wrists as they play with her.

shuri leans down more, kissing against her, “i love when you tell me what you want,” she says, moving everywhere but where riri needs her. she gets the hint quickly, “please put your mouth on me, shuri,” riri sighs out, eyes glossed over and looking deep into shuri’s. she nods, more for herself, and sucks on riri’s nipples, playing with the other in her hand.

riri sigh and tugs at shuri’s hair again, who groans and bites at riri’s nipples; riri bucking and moaning at the aggression. shuri pulls away, “was that okay?” and riri nods, breathless, “yeah, feels good..” she whispers and shuri nods, sucking on her skin once more, hands traveling lower and lower to slide riri out of her pajama bottoms. riri lifts her hips up to help, her underwear hot and wet between shuri’s wondering fingers. she tries to close them but shuri keeps one hand on riri’s thigh to keep them open, the other sliding up and down her underwear and her mouth still working on her nipples.

riri moans, “shuri… please,” and shuri nearly moans at the sound of riri’s begs. she nods, pulling away from her nipple with a wet pop, and completely focusing all her attention on her pussy, pulling her underwear down with a swift movement. riri’s practically leaking, shuri finds, her clit pulsing softly as she feels herself get stared at. riri moves her legs shyly, “shuri, don’t just stare,” she jokes but shuri takes it seriously, rubbing up and down her legs and looking at her with mesmerized eyes, “you’re so beautiful, nkosazana, i can’t help it, ” she whispers, kissing at riri’s legs and sliding her hands against her thighs. “so gorgeous,” she whispers into riri’s skin.

riri shuts her eyes tightly, the sight of shuri between her legs proving too much for her to handle. shuri kisses at her thighs and the crevices between them and her pussy, riri bucking against her to get some friction where she needs it. shuri takes the hint, kissing riri’s clit and making her gasp out a moan, hands between the sheets and the other attempting to cover her mouth and lessen her moans. but shuri’s mouth works on her likes she’s had riri before, like she’s done this a thousand times. shuri licks at her clit, sucking softly and using some of her panther strength to keep riri’s legs apart. riri moans, back lifting and hands gripping the sheets, “fuckkkk—!” leaves her mouth, eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.

and shuri smiles against her, sucking hard and sliding her fingers past riri’s entrance, one finger being able to push in because of how wet riri was. riri feels it, whining and sighing as shuri fingers her way in deeper, making room for the second finger and pushing through with ease. riri feels her clit begin to pulse under shuri’s tongue, skin prickling and pussy leaking, and it makes her gasp out wetly, “i’m— oh fuck, i’m cumming, shuri, shuri, i’m gonna cum,” and she lifts her hips to practically fuck on shuri’s face, who takes it all, moaning against her still keeping one hand on riri’s thighs to hold her open. riri’s eyes roll back and she tried to let out one more warning but she feels it, riri’s orgasm runs a marathon through her body, pussy leaking into shuri’s fingers and clit pulsing under shuri’s tongue, who doesn’t let up— she sucks and pulls on the uncovered bud, fingers still working diligently inside riri and riri groans, deep gasps leaving her mouth as she tries to move away in overstimulation.

shuri pulls away, sighing, removing her fingers and licking at her lips. riri’s body falls, exhausted and overworked as she comes down from her orgasm. shuri kisses on her thighs, moving her cum soaked fingers against her skin and riri finds her hand, holding it and squeezing. shuri kisses her way up to riri’s mouth, kissing her deeply and putting cum on riri’s lips. riri sighs and pulling her deeper in her available hand, the other letting go of shuri’s and put in her coils. shuri moans once her hand reaches there and she pulls away, “what else do you want, my love?” and she means it sincerely, kissing at her cheeks when she asks the question.

riri giggles, and asks sincerely, “you wanna fuck me?” and shuri gapes at her, laughing, “so explicit! Bast, you could have said that any other way,” she laughs out and stands, walking towards her closet, sliding off her own shorts. riri sits up, mind a bit fuzzy from her orgasm, “what i’m hearing and seeing, is a yes,” she jokes and sees shuri reach for her strap, shaking her head, “i suppose so since you asked ever-so sweetly,” and riri smiles, pulling shuri into a kiss when she comes back.

shuri kisses at riri’s mouth, moving around to find some lube before adjusting her boxers. riri disconnects their lips and watches as shuri moves around the strap. shuri leans down with her, still wanting to be connected and riri can’t help but smile against shuri’s lips, so happy to finally have a clear head and tended heart. shuri pulls away to look at her girlfriend, “what?” she asks sincerely and riri giggles, sighing and opening her legs once shuri touches her thighs and coaxing them open, “i’m just happy. i love you,” she mumbles back and shuri smiles, flashing a glance at her dick against riri’s pussy, then back at her eyes, leaning down once she’s completely lined up, “i love you too,” she whispers back and pushes, riri sighing and whining against shuri’s mouth.

shuri moves slowly against riri, bodies close and touching after shuri’s finally all the way inside riri, who’s gasping against shuri’s lips, “oh, fuckkkkk—” she moans out and shuri smiles a bit, kissing at her cheeks and riri’s hand finds hers, holding it and squeezing. she doesn’t move until riri nods, “move, please, baby,” she whispers and shuri nods, pulling out and pushing back in with a soft thrust. riri gasp, clinging to her forearms and groaning, shuri kissing at her neck again as she thrusts.

she whispers in riri’s ears, “does that feel good, love?” and riri nods and moans, unashamed and holding on. shuri leans up, angling herself at a different position and holding on to her waist and thrusting harder, lifting riri’s thighs a bit to get to her g-spot.

riri groans out, “fuck, fuck, fuck me right there shuri, please— unffffuckk—!” and riri’s body lifts, her thighs shaking under shuri’s touch and she sighs, holding on to them, “you gonna cum, my love?” she whispers and riri nods, eyes seared shut and small tears forming, “yeah, yeah, i’m gonna cum, fuck, make me cum shuri please, please— haaaa, im cumming, baby,—!” she gasps out and her body twitching and her hands ripping the sheets as she cums, pussy squeezing around shuri and her thighs still shaking. shuri’s thrusts come to a halt as riri finishes, shuri leaning down and kissing her, soothing over her thighs and slowly pulling out.

riri moans softly, accepting shuri’s kiss with a tired mouth and a fogged mind. shuri shuffles out of the boxers, sliding the strap away and pulling off of riri’s mouth, “do you need anything love?” and riri blinks up at her dazed and fucked out, shaking her head. shuri laughs a bit, kissing her deeply again before getting up to grab a towel and another shirt for riri to sleep in.

riri lays on shuri’s bed complacent and weak, body finally coming back to life after a while of rest. shuri comes back and kisses her again, helping her sit up and holding her, riri sighing into shuri’s mouth and wrapping her arms around her. she smiles against her mouth, kissing back softly. shuri pulls away first, “i love you,” she says again and riri says it back, eyes closed and heart full.

when riri wakes up, shuri is next to her. she feels light, her body is sore from the night before but all in all she feels amazing, like all the guilt and angst she felt had slipped away into the night.

shuri is still sleeping, breathing deep and her coils popping out her bonnet. riri giggles at the sight, tucking the stray ones in and leaning up to kiss her. shuri wakes up after the fourth kiss, sliding her hands against riris back and keeping her there, sighing into the kiss and moving along with her mouth.

she pulls away, “good morning, sthandwa, how did you sleep?”

and riri smiles, knowing she can finally and honestly say, “good.”

i love shuriri never forget it!! they make me so INSANE IM LOSING BRAIN CELLS OVER THEM i better see 5k edits of shuri and riri on tik tok in february 1st 00:01 EXACTLY!!

anways i hope you guys enjoyed. this story was very dear to me and it means a lot to talk and work through these serious topics with my favorite characters, give them the happiest of endings they deserve!! also the song above just led me to write it, it’s not actually important to the story but it’s a gorgeous song regardless

okay bye!! reblogs and replies are ALWAYS appreciated mwah mwah ❣️

[cosmicjoke]

Alright, chapter 215 of "Vinland Saga"!

And ohh boy, there's really no going back for Einar, now. He's finally, officially, killed someone, and I really do have to wonder what the ramifications of that is going to be. What's really interesting here is how Einar's first time killing someone mimics Thorfinn's first time from the anime. If I recall correctly, that scene wasn't originally included in the manga, but when Thorfinn kills for the first time as a young boy, he's at first stunned, and then this rage takes over him and he keeps repeatedly stabbing at his assailant. And we see that happen here with Einar, too, with him being at first shocked that he's killed someone, before just losing it and stabbing his attacker repeatedly, well after he's already dead. It's a trauma response, just like it was with Thorfinn. Only Einar is a grown man and this is his first time experiencing the horror of it all.

I've been wondering for a while what the effect of all of this was going to be on the relationship between Thorfinn and Einar, and it seems more and more to me that it's headed somewhere irreversible. Thorfinn's been MIA for a while now, and all this horrible killing has broken out, all this war, mostly being experienced by people who have never seen a battle field or had to take a life in order to save either their own or others. I don't think Einar is going to recover from this or ever really be the same, and I have a bad feeling that he may even grow to resent and hate Thorfinn (more than he already does), assuming he doesn't get killed in all this. Thorfinn isn't there, and he isn't able to fight, and as a result, it's everyone else who's sort of been forced into this confrontation, Einar most of all, who's own choice to stay and fight has led to this moment. I'd hate to see him blame Thorfinn for that, when again, it's Einar's own choice that led him here. He could have just chosen to flee, like Vargar originally suggested. Of course, you can't hold it too much against Einar, either, because all he's worked for and dreamed of is being threatened and stolen from him. There's really no right or wrong answer here. It isn't fair to just suggest Einar should be willing to give up everything just because someone decided to take it from him. That's what makes this story so complex and, ultimately, tragic. There's really no clear answer to any of it. But yeah, I'm just thinking that it's likely Einar will be irrevocably changed from this, and his relationship with Thorfinn forever altered, maybe even destroyed. We'll see, whenever we get Thorfinn back in the picture. But that really would be the ultimate tragic outcome of this, I think, and a perfect encapsulation of how war destroys. Thorfinn's first and best friend, the man who helped pull him out of despair and gave him a new direction and purpose outside of the violence that had, up to that point, defined his life, may end up turning on Thorfinn completely through the experience of war and violence. I think, in some ways, Einar already has turned on Thorfinn, but so fully rejecting Thorfinn's decision to retreat without fighting. How Thorfinn's own ideals and pacifism survives that kind of blow is a good question. I think he'll be devastated, if it turns out like I'm predicting, and realistically, he'll begin to again question the viability of his philosophy.

It seems, at least in part, that the tide has temporarily turned, too, with the Jomsvikings appearing and absolutely destroying the Lnu's fighters on the shore. How long the reprive will last for the Nords remains to be seen, though. Things are still dire, that's for sure.

I hope we get an update next chapter on Thorfinn. We have no idea currently what his condition is or if he's going to survive. I don't expect him to die, but his condition the last time we saw him was bad enough to at least assume he's got no way of fighting or defending anyone. What a disaster. I'm afraid of what his reaction is going to be when he finally sees what's happened.

[srtruth]

mayuri & gn!readar

Summary: You switch bodies with Captain Kurotsuchi and you must avoid getting killed. Spoiler: Everyone hates Mayuri.

Note: This fic will not contain romance and is dedicated to humor and suspense. This comes to my mind after reading a Manhwa called "The Best Engineer in the World".

You open your eyes and are immediately plunged into chaos. Everything is blurry, your vision, your mind. The air feels thick, almost oppressive, as if it were filled with smoke. Smoke? Is the building on fire?

Before you can process what's happening, you hear voices, and they fade away as they move away from you. You try to concentrate, but another voice interrupts you, this time closer and clearer. “Move,” ordered. You don’t know where it’s coming from, but you know this isn’t the time to question anything.

You scramble to your feet, your movements clumsy, the sheets tangling around your body like shackles. “It’s just clothes,” the unfamiliar voice tells you, but as you try to walk, you realize that the floor is uneven. Apparently part of the ceiling had fallen and your feet were hitting large debris. What is happening?, you think, your mind racing, clinging to confusing memories, as if they were foreign. These felt recent, but they made no sense. The emergency lights turn on, showing the way out and a flashing red light accompanied by an alarm that screeches in your ears, you instinctively deactivate it when you hold on to a nearby control panel. You grabbed onto it by pure luck or you would have fallen to the floor. “Tired, but of what? No offense.” You hadn’t taken it as an offense, but thanks to that clarification you did think about it.

When the alarm was silenced, it eased your nerves a bit by giving you only the red lights that barely cut through the dust. This is a dream, it has to be. It all seemed so real to you. The alarm was for a reason? Shouldn’t you be running too?

“No..–The voice comes back, lingering in your mind, drawing out the words to make them less important.–If this is a dream. Why leave? Keep exploring.” Against your better judgment, you obey. Each step is heavy at first, but as you move forward, they become firmer.

Suddenly, you find yourself standing in front of a colossal machine, its presence dominating the room. Its size is intimidating, its design is disconcerting. Wires, tubes, no, veins and guts, it looked organic in parts. It snaked through and under the rubble, almost as if it were alive, but not for long, it pulsed slower and slower as if it was losing power. What kind of madman built this monstrosity? A genius? Or just reckless?

Your headache, it seemed like in dreams you could feel the pain so real it gave you chills to think it would be so easy to trick your brain. Some ideas floated around in your head, quite useful, solutions to problems you didn’t even know you had.

“Maybe this dream will get you out of your financial troubles… But wait, this is just a dream, isn’t it? Keep going. Keep exploring,” the voice whispers again. That voice, it’s unbearable! You clench your fists, about to scream in frustration when a third voice interrupts and stops you dead in your tracks.

“Captain, are you okay?” The voice isn’t in your head. This time it was real.

You freeze. Captain? The word feels foreign, yet somehow familiar. Your heart races as you clear your throat. You speak without thinking, the words flowing automatically.

“I’m fine.”

Did you say that? The voice that comes out of your lips sounds wrong, strange, but terribly familiar. Maybe someone else answered for you. Just in case, you spoke again.

“Where am I?”

The same voice echoed even in your own ears, bouncing around inside your own skull. It was obvious that you had said those words, plus you noticed that it was similar in tone to the voice of the stranger who had been interrupting all this time. The boy in front of you was worried, he muttered to himself if you had hit your head and that was why you didn't know where you were.

“You’re in Area 7, President,” the figure in front of you continues. His tone has a hint of doubt, as if he’s questioning your disorientation. “Your lieutenant will be arriving soon.”

Lieutenant? Area 7? None of this makes sense, it all seemed like something out of a sci-fi movie, and a very bad one at that, but instead of pushing for more answers, you simply whisper, “Yes…”

Captain… President… The only one who had that title and a lab in this place… was Mayuri. You feel like laughing at the situation, but you’re afraid to hear confirmation before your time.

You walk over to a turned off computer, you stare frozen at the man in front of you, his form becoming clearer as you get closer to the green screen.

“Who are you?” you ask, trying to keep the anxiety out of your voice. He hesitates, clearly uncomfortable, but finally answers,

“Tsubokura Rin.” The name sounds familiar.

Mayuri’s subordinate? That can’t be true. But the truth hasn’t quite dawned on you yet. Your reflection in the cracked screen confirms your fears. You are no longer “you.” The face staring back at you is unmistakably that of Captain Kurotsuchi Mayuri, the infamous mad scientist of Soul Society.

The subordinate who looked like Hanataro, withdrew worriedly.

You touched the flashy devices on your face in disbelief, used to them you didn't even notice them, then the makeup. You couldn't believe it, you really liked this character, you liked the series where he appeared, you had many mixed emotions. 

But the most important thing was missing... Where is his hat?!... Thinking that you had dropped it made you very sad. He hadn't even lost it in the fight with Uryu and you lost it in less than 5 minutes?

Leaving aside that stupidity, you worried about your skin, if the soul society discovers that you weren't Kurtosuchi, most likely, and as things were done here, they will condemn you to death.

"A soul within a soul”

Your mind reels with confusion, memories flooding in, memories that aren't yours. You now understood what the machine was, it was the latest thing Captain Kurotsuchi was working on, it was an instrument capable of connecting to other worlds, it was just a communication network, but clearly something else happened. You also now understood what that voice was, it was simply the voice in the head of this mad genius. Since the voice you hear in your head isn't really you... you didn't want to keep thinking or this would soon turn philosophical, but that was your explanation. "I couldn't be that crazy, could I?"

You remembered your body, in theory Kurotsuchi was in it. You were terrified of the idea that someone like him would try to make some modification to himself in your kitchen. You thought about your safety then you approached the machine.

Your heart beats hard in your chest, not out of fear of the machine or the strange world you're in, but because of the weight of the deception you'll have to maintain.

You must continue with the charade, play along with him as Mayuri until you can fix things or he comes back on his own.

Final note: I don't have much faith in this project. I hope you liked it.

[massivedrickhead]

Bechloe Week Day 3: Lost/Stranded

Words: 1771

Notes: Again, I probably went a little heavier than I initially intended because apparently that's all I can do, but I hope you enjoy anyway!

Read on AO3

“Hey, it’s Chloe, I’m sorry to call so late,” Chloe said, as soon as she heard Beca’s mumbled greeting upon answering the phone. 

“S’okay,” Beca said, stifling a yawn as she rubbed a hand over her face. “What’s up? Are you okay?”

“I, um, I’m kinda stuck,” Chloe said, and Beca could hear the cringe of embarrassment in her voice. “I’m, like, stranded.”

“What do you mean?” Beca asked, briefly holding the phone away from her ear so she could check the time. It was a little after 1 am. “Where are you?” 

“That gas station on 35 I think.”

“Is that the one with the all-night diner that does those hash browns we like?”

“Yeah,” Chloe said. “Chicago was driving me home from our date and we had a fight and I made him pull over.”

“Are you okay?” Beca asked, suddenly feeling much more awake. “Is he still there?”

“No, he left,” Chloe said. “My phone is dead, the waitress in the diner let me use their phone, and yours is the only number I know by heart. Could you call me a cab or an Uber or something? I’ll pay you back.”

“Are you kidding? Look, just stay in the diner, I’m coming to get you,” Beca said. She pulled a coat over her pyjamas and shoved on her shoes, the phone held in the crook of her neck. She hesitated for a second and grabbed a second coat from the hooks hanging by her apartment door. 

“Bec, you don’t need to do that,” Chloe said. “It’s late.”

“It is late. And you’re a woman alone at a gas station in the middle of the night. I’m coming to get you.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said, the relief in her voice palpable. “You’re a lifesaver.” 

Beca thought murderer might have been a more apt title for when she was done with Chicago, but she didn’t think saying that would help the situation.

“I won’t be long, okay?”

“Okay,” Chloe said. She hung up the phone and gave a grateful smile to the waitress. “Thank you,” she said. “I promise, next time I’m passing this way I’ll stop in and give you guys the biggest tip I can afford.”

The waitress waved her off with a smile. “Don’t mention it,” she said, before moving down to the other end of the counter to pour coffee for some truckers.

Chloe spun in a slow circle in her chair until she was facing the entrance of the diner. She wished her phone was charged so she could at least distract herself. She was cold and tired, and she felt the beginnings of a headache forming behind her eyes. She already regretted the third glass of wine with dinner.

She rubbed her fingers into her tired eyes - no longer caring about smudging her mascara - and prepared herself to defend Chicago to Beca.

She knew he didn’t actually deserve defending - not this time - but she prepared the arguments in her head anyway.

He had a long day. Work has been really stressful for him. Money is tight. I insisted we go to this particular restaurant. I was too friendly to our server and it gave him the wrong idea.

Her shoulders sagged as she thought about all the excuses she was going to offer for him and, not for the first time since she’d put it on, her eyes fell to the engagement ring on her finger and she felt a ripple of doubt.

Was this really the way she wanted the rest of her life to be? 

Chloe was broken out of her thoughts by the squeak of the diner door being pushed open. 

She saw Beca scan the diner until her eyes fell on Chloe, and she seemed to deflate with relief.

Chloe climbed down from the chair and walked quickly towards her best friend.

“Thank you so much for this Bec,” she said. She saw Beca had shoved her coat and shoes on over her pyjamas, and in her hand she held a second coat.

“Here,” Beca said. “You never bring a jacket with you.”

“You’re the best,” Chloe said, gratefully pulling the coat on over her dress. She turned to the waitress who had looked up from her conversation. “Thank you again for letting me use the phone.”

“No problem, get home safe,” she said.

“Thank you for keeping an eye on her,” Beca said, and the pair left the diner and were soon climbing into Beca’s car. “Are you okay?” She asked, turning on the engine and cranking the heat.

“Yeah,” Chloe said. I am now you’re here, she thought. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“You don’t need to keep thanking me,” Beca said. “I couldn’t have just left you there. I’m glad you called.”

“Yeah, me too,” she said. She absentmindedly twisted the engagement ring around her finger as she let her head come to rest on the window. 

“Do you want me to take you home, or do you want to crash at mine?” Beca asked. 

Chloe swallowed. She didn’t want to go home. Not tonight. She was too tired for another fight. “I… I don’t really want to see him right now.”

“Okay,” Beca said. “I have a charger in my glovebox if you want to plug your phone in. You can text him to let him know, in case he’s worried about you.”

“Thanks,” Chloe said, taking the wire and plugging it in. It took a few minutes before her phone came back to life. She wasn’t surprised when she saw there was nothing new from Chicago. She knew she should expect radio silence from now until she apologised.

She fired off a quick text to him saying she was staying at Beca’s, and then she put her phone away. She knew if anything this would make him more pissed, but she also knew if she stayed silent she’d be blamed for making him worry. 

“So,” Beca said, trying not to sound angry when she spoke, “he left you alone at the gas station? With no money, and no phone?”

“He, um, he didn’t know my phone was dead,” Chloe said, realising it was a pathetic defence as she said it.

“Oh, I guess he’s off the hook then,” Beca said. “Fiance of the year.” 

“Please don’t make me have to defend him,” Chloe said. “I don’t have the energy for it.”

“Why on Earth would you defend him right now? Anything could have happened to you,” Beca said. 

Chloe had expected Beca to sound angry, but when she spoke Chloe realised that she was scared. Beca was right, anything could have happened to her. 

Why wasn’t Chicago scared about that? 

Why hadn’t he tried to call or text? Why didn’t he care if she was okay?

“I’m not going to go on about it,” Beca said. “I just… Whatever you might have done, whatever argument you guys were having, it doesn’t justify this. He put your safety at risk and… I dunno. I dunno how you come back from that.”

They were silent for a little while longer until Chloe spoke again.

“I laughed at our server’s joke,” Chloe said. “That’s what I did.”

Beca pulled into her parking spot at her apartment building, but neither made a move to get out of the car. It had started raining, and the only sounds were the low white noise of the car heater, and the wipers moving against the windshield.

Beca didn’t speak, but when she looked across at Chloe she saw tears in her eyes.

“I had all these excuses ready for him, but all I did was laugh at this stranger’s joke. That was enough to make him feel threatened enough to start screaming at me on the highway. I made him pull into the gas station because I was scared. He wasn’t paying attention to the road and I was scared he was going to crash,” Chloe said, wiping her eyes with her hand. “I got out of the car as soon as he stopped and he just drove off. He hasn’t called or anything. This isn’t… He was so… He was the perfect gentleman when we got together. So sweet and attentive and kind and now… It’s like I don’t even recognise him anymore. This wasn’t what our life together was meant to look like, and I feel so… Lost. I feel like I made a mistake”

Beca reached across the car and took Chloe’s hand. “Whatever you decide to do, I’m here for you, okay? No matter what. If you need a place to stay, you can stay with me for as long as you want.”

Leave him, Beca wanted to scream. Leave him before he really hurts you.

But she knew she couldn’t push Chloe into this.

“Thank you,” Chloe said. “Can we go inside? I’m really tired.”

“Of course,” Beca said. 

They rode the elevator up to Beca’s apartment in silence, and when they got inside Beca got her some water, makeup wipes, and a pair of pyjamas. She even insisted that Chloe take her bed.

Chloe couldn’t remember the last time someone had taken care of her like this.

“For what it’s worth,” Beca said, hovering in the doorway before she went to go lie down on the sofa, “you deserve to be treated better than this. You deserve something infinitely better than this. Get some sleep, okay?”

Chloe sniffed again and wiped her eyes. “Bec? Can you please stay?”

“Yeah,” Beca said, smiling as she climbed into the other side of the bed. “I can stay.”

Chloe was still sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at the ring on her finger. With a shuddering breath, she pulled it off and set it on Beca’s nightstand. She settled back down onto the bed, feeling like a weight was being lifted off her shoulders.

“Can you drive me home tomorrow?” She asked, her back to Beca as she stared at the ring.

“Of course,” Beca said, her heart sinking. It’s her choice, if she wants to go back to him, she told herself. All you can do is be there for her.

“I need to give Chicago his ring back,” Chloe said. “Could I… Do you think I could stay with you for a little while?”

Beca swallowed and tried not to cry through sheer relief. “Of course,” she said.

Chloe turned away from the ring and pulled Beca into a hug.

“You might have saved my life tonight, Beca,” she said. 

“You saved it,” Beca said. “I just provided the getaway car.”

[orangepanic]

Decided to lean into the age gap - Irosami

His next kiss was softer than Asami had thought, yet no less passionate. It almost felt like he was tasting her. Savoring her, committing the feel of her lips to memory, as if---

"Wait," Asami said as she pulled away, "you're saying goodbye?"

General Iroh looked away.

"Iroh? Why? What changed?" Asami searched his handsome face for answers. After months of build up, of quiet jokes and subtle touches and eyes that lingered just a little too long they'd finally cracked. A chance meeting in this small and untraveled staircase in City Hall after a rainstorm and suddenly they'd been wrapped in each other's arms, all heat and lips and tender wanting. His fingers tangled in her hair as he pressed her into the wall with his body. Spirits, how she'd dreamed of this. And yet somehow she still wasn't enough.

"I'm sorry," said Iroh. "I would if I... but I can't. I can't do that to you."

"Do what? Iroh, I said yes. I want this. I want you, whatever that comes with. Is it your family?"

"Don't agree to things you don't understand," he said sharply. "You have no idea, Asami. None."

Asami took his hand, so hot in her own. "Then tell me," she said. "Don't be like the others. Talk to me, Iroh. I'm not Daddy's little girl anymore. I can handle myself. Let me make my own choice."

General Iroh met her eyes. His own seemed darker now, more bronze than bright gold. "I'm older than I look," he said hesitantly.

Asami quirked an eyebrow. "Like 25?"

Iroh grimaced. "No."

"Thirty?"

He shook his head.

Asami frowned at him, taking in his smooth skin and thick hair. "You can't be older than 36 or so," she said. "You don't look any older than Mako and he's the same age as me."

Iroh took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, as if steeling himself. "Asami," he said, "I---"

"Just tell me, Iroh," she said. She squeezed his hand. "Please."

"I'm five thousand years old."

Asami scrunched her brows together. She must not have heard that right. "Excuse me?"

"Five thousand," Iroh repeated, "or close enough. I've forgotten my true age, and those who knew it are long dead. Like the first Avatar I once sought the spirits, and like the first Avatar I was given gifts. But my gifts are more like a curse. I never age. I do not die. I will look always as I am, a young man, yet anyone reasonable will see I am far too old to love."

Asami was silent for a moment, taking that in. Five thousand years? That was a really, really long time. On the other hand...

"You must be really good in bed," she said.

Iroh's eyes flew open. "W-what?"

Asami gave him a sultry grin. "All that experience. You must have learned a thing or two... right? I mean, you're a very good kisser." And he was. Far better than the 18-year-olds she'd dated.

"I, um, I." Iroh's face got steadily redder. "I suppose, I, uh, yes. I've been around. Some."

Asami squeezed his hand again. "So what's not to love? Are you hungry? I bet you know all the best places and dishes since you've been around so long. You've probably tried everything."

"Well, there is this shop over on 8th that has authentic Fire Nation food just like they made it back in the---"

"Great!" said Asami. She tugged Iroh down towards the door and he stumbled after. "I'm starving. Then if you're up for it I can see if five thousand years of experience is enough to beat me at Pai Sho. Hardly anyone can. My money's on me but prove me wrong."

General Iroh chuckled behind her as they raced out again into the steaming summer night. "I think you'll find I have a few surprises for you," he said.

Asami smiled. "Good."

Thanks to @krastbannert for the idea!

[specialstay]

[03:00am]

This is the long wanted part 2! Im ao sorry for being this late </3

There was the silence again and that disgusting feeling in your chest. You knew that he has already promised more than one time to spend some time with you and it didn't change. He kept getting stuck at work.

But what if he's serious now and really does change?

Would you be rather with him here, not sure if he will change or just have some space and really have some time to think about everything.

"I think its best if I somewhere else tonight" you say and couldnt dare to look in his puppy eyes and instead deeply analyzed that picture on your nightstand. Too afraid to turn around and look in his tearing eyes which has always broken your heart in milion pieces.

He removed his hand from your back and that little bit of warmth it previously gave you flew away. It felt like breaking up but thats not what you said... right?

That anxious feeling you knew flew through your body and was sticking to every bone in your now cold body. Have you messed up this time?

"Y/n.." his voice was shaking and made it almost to a competition between his voice and your hands, you stomach turned around when you thought about all the possible endings this could have now.

"Do you want to break up?" you couldnt tell who was more scared to hear this answer, you or him.

"Chan I gave up so many things for you and i dont wanna throw that away" you finally say and for you, this was a 'no, i dont want to break up' and thought that you had calmed him down a little with that but no, his response was unexpected.

"Instead of giving love as a reason you say that you dont want to break up because of all the things you've done for me" his tone was a mixture of anger and pain, more like disappointed.

"Chan thats not what i meant" you immediately say before he interprets everything wrong and finally turns around to see him. His eyes usually filled with joy and love are dead, sad and lifeless.

"But thats what you just said. If you only stay with me because of the time we've been together and the things you did, i want you to break up" you desperately try and find some light in his eyes, just a little sparkle.

"No you misunderstood me" you say in shock while turing around so you can really face him. "I would never stay only because i have invested a lot, I would only stay if i still love that person and you are that person. The person I love" youre facing him and put his hands in yours and insead of responding, he just looked down at your hands. Just like that one time he was anxious and you we're calming him down before a show. You put his hands in yours and moved your thumb a little to calm him down. Just like he used to do.

"When youre not happy with a new song you just dont throw it away. You sit there for hours and try to make it better, to fix it" he was looking up and the last 3 words gave him hope that this wasnt over, that you two can just go to sleep and forget about all this, but you werent done yet.

"And sometimes if you get stuck on a melody, or any part of the song, you put it aside for a few days and start again" you voice was soft, avoiding any type of miss communication.

Pictures of you two wont stop appearing in your head. All the good memories.

"If i get get it right after some time ill just delete that whole track..." he says quietly and you noticed the tears on your face as some of them were traveling down your lips, almost synchro with his tears.

"We wont throw this away" you say in a shaking voice and finally give in the urge to wipe away his tears. "If you throw away this song I will be mad" you smile with tears as he wiped away your tears.

"What are we going to do with this song?" he asks and you felt that anxious feeling leaving your body with every breath you take.

"I dont want to put it away for some time. Im eager to make it perfect from this very second"

You couldn't resist anymore.

Within seconds your lips collide with his and it caught him off guard but it didnt bother him, why else would he kiss you back?

It felt more like he has been waiting for this.

No words were needed. You wont throw this away nor put it aside.

This will be fixed now and forever.

___

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