#has anyone checked on hakimi

[renerosin]

@/k.mbappe: MERCI 🔴🔵 @/psg

[spidybaby]

The "A" Team

Summary: Kylian needs your help to get out of an awkward situation.

Warnings: none ❤️

Kylian was impatient, knee bouncing as a sign of it.

He was in a PSG meeting, all the players needed to be there for a very long talk about the new season changes with Luis Enrique.

Kylian was leaving, but that didn't mean he wasn't forced to go. He tried his best to get out of there.

He wasn't going to be there for the new season, so why was he there?

Hakimi and him were making jokes and messing with Ousmane and Fabian. Earning a few glares from the technical team and making them stop.

He needed a plan, he wanted to get out of there. He was thinking about taking a nap, he felt tired.

"Don't yawn again, you're making me yawn." Achraf hit him with his arm. "Why are you even here for? You're fired."

"I'm not fired." He says, the sassy tone makes Achraf smile. "I put up my two weeks."

"Six months better say." Ousmane joins. "Kylian Saint Germain ain't going to be Kylian Saint Germain anymore." He jokes, sad that at the end his friend will leave the team.

Kylian laugh, he can't deny that he will miss the team, the trainers, the family he created there, and people who he will forever love.

When they give them a few minutes to get something to eat or drink at the little table they set for that, Kylian got an idea.

You were home, resting from a flue. You were free to help him to get out of there. Maybe if you called him he can fake an emergency.

He texted you, ready to settle the plan and make it work in the next fifteen minutes he has to use his phone and to eat something.

You were doing some tv marathon, watching Sponge Bob while eating some popcorn. When your phone rings, you check that kylian was asking you to call him in five and ask him to pick you up.

You smile, he was bored and helpless with the talk.

Credit of the pic to: @kylianmbappee, thank you for letting me use it for this ❤️✨️

You continue watching Sponge Bob, waiting for the time to go. When you checked if the five minutes passed, you were ready to act.

Kylian was with Achraf, Fabian and Luis Enrique when his phone rang, he smiled. "Lover boy can't spend a moment without his lady." Fabian says.

"C'mon, let us say hi to our favorite girl." Achraf jokes. He always request to talk to you and mess with you over the phone.

"Let me put her on speaker." He smiles, he knows the show is about to start. "Bonjour, bébé."

"Kylian, oh my God, please, I need you." You fake cry, it sounds so real that he almost forgets about your plan. "I don't know what happened, I don't have anyone to call, please come. I don't want to be alone here, ky please."

The looks of the three men is a poem, the worried eyes, and open mouths. They're down.

"Joder, where is she?" Fabian says, he's very much worried about you. "Joder, Ky you need to go."

He was about to turn to where they were seated when you kept going.

"Kylian, please hurry. I need you here." You cry harder this time.

"Kylian, go. This meeting can wait." Luis pushed him to the door. They all are worried. "Hurry, go."

He takes the speaker off, you still acting up and crying for help. He asks you where you are, pretending to be worried, and he wins a few glares of people around them.

"I'm on my way, amour, wait please." He grabs his coat, Achraf is asking him is he needs a ride, he shake his head no. "Don't hang up, I'm on my way."

"Text me when you're with her." Hakimi pats his back as he runs to the door. "Be safe."

He exited the club quickly, telling his driver to take him home. Once they're two blocks away from the club he laughs.

"You're such a great actress. If you want, I can get you a role on a show." He jokes with you. "I'll be home in a few, mon amour."

"Bring me some boneless and a soda, a big one, like really big." You say, hungry after that big role you pull. "And some dessert, maybe two pieces of cake." You exaggerate.

"Everything for you, I'll be there as soon as I get your things."

You smile knowing that your role was good and you will have your man all the evening with you.

While he gets back to you, you are still streaming Sponge Bob, realizing and thinking about what a krabby patty taste like.

"Amour, I'm home."

You turn your head to him, getting up and walking to him with your arms open, ready to greet your lover.

"Hello, Mister Mbappé, I heard your girlfriend had a thing going on, poor girl. She's really unstable." You kiss him, smirking about your joke.

"She is, but you know what they say, the crazier the better." He kisses you again, pecking your lips many times until he pulls away.

"I got you your wings and your cake, plus the biggest soda I could purchase." He hug you from the back, pointing at all the things he got you.

You two sit down to watch a movie, not thinking much about the day or the meeting.

"Hakimi just texted me, he's asking if I'm okay." You show him the text. "I'm just going to ignore it for the day."

"Yeah, I left my phone on airplane mode." He smirks. "I'm spending some time with my fav member of our A team."

"We're an A team." You smile, hugging him while cuddling on the couch.

🪷🪷🪷

[poetic-emptiness-fanfic]

When the Sun Goes Out (Echoes of the Past 13: Aftermath)

I’m a little late with this (that’s what you get, when you leave your school work for the last minute), but here it is! I hope you like it!

Characters: Hande Kuura, Helena Kuura, Sardar Gul, Asra Alnazar, Julian Devorak, Muriel, Nadia Satrinava, Azita Torkan (mentioned) & Sargon Hakimi (mentioned)

Content warnings: mention of blood & hallucinations

Words: ~2 550

@arcana-echoes

Hande is sitting at her writing desk. She can feel the nausea creeping in and her red eyes keep staring at the piece of parchment in front of her. How to tell a person that you're dying, especially when he's probably going to blame himself for it? It doesn't help, that the person has become so close, so dear to her... She doesn't want to hurt him, but it'd hurt more if she didn't inform him. Trying not to cough blood on the paper, she carefully writes, corrects and writes again. Finally, she's satisfied and transcribes the final version. But then, how to end the letter?

”Remember not to give up” – no, too demanding...

”I will never forget you” – ugh, too cheesy and depressing...

Hande becomes frustrated – she doesn't have much time and there's still so much to do. Without thinking, she writes a sentence she had kept close to her chest for months: ”I love you.”

Hande stares at the sentence. What is she thinking? She can't just blurt that out to her teacher! Especially not in a letter where she confesses, that she's going to die! Way to go, Hande: you failed at your promise not to give your heart to anyone and now you're going to die, how great... And why should she embarrass Julian, he surely isn't feeling the same – why would he? Hande rises from her chair, takes the letter and goes to the kitchenette. She opens the stove and puts the letter in it. ”Azar, I need you to burn it,” she whispers. The stove salamander does as told and flames start eating the parchment. Hande watches it burn and then returns to her desk. She starts over again, now knowing a proper ending for her letter...

Julian is standing in front of his office desk, reading a letter with a familiar handwriting. His hands are trembling slightly, but he doesn't seem to realise it.

-- It's been an honour to get to know you; I will warmly recall your kindheartedness, your fascinating stories and your harebrained jokes.

Thank you for everything and be well!

Yours truly,

Hande

No. No. Not Hande... Julian reads the letter again, but it's not dated – so unusual for Hande. Well, if she thinks he's going to leave her just die alone at the Lazaret, she's wrong. Julian grasps his coat and mask and heads to the docks. Since he's a doctor, he doesn't need to persuade an oarsman to take him with the patients to the Lazaret. Without hesitation he strides inside the main building and notices a nurse serving as an attendant. ”Good afternoon. How can I help you?” greets the nurse. Julian gulps and approaches them, trying to sound like a person with authority, ”Good afternoon. May I inquire about one of your patients, Hande Kuura? I'd like to see her, if you will?” The nurse then opens a big journal and starts to leaf through it. Well, at least they keep records of their patients... Julian thinks. After a while the nurse's finger stop at a certain point of a page and she stares it for a moment. Julian doesn't like the fact he's not able to read the nurse's face because of the mask they're wearing.

Suddenly the nurse breaks the silence, ”I'm sorry... I triple-checked it, but there isn't but one Hande Kuura in our records. She has died, almost a month ago. The exact date is 18th of January.” Julian freezes to his place, speechless.  No, no, no... This isn't real, this is just a bad dream and he will soon wake up. He actually pinches himself, but he feels the pain... Shit... ”Oh... uhm... Okay. Well... I must get going, thank you for informing me,” and with that he turns on his heels and leaves the building. He takes the first boat that goes back to Vesuvia and then wanders to the Palace like a zombie. The doctor doesn't see, hear or feel anything. Suddenly he notices he's in a library, at his desk. He sits down, takes of his mask and starts to fiddle his fingers, staring at the wood and papers laying around on it.

”Doctor Devorak? Are you alright?” a silky voice asks. Julian startles and raises his gaze. ”C-countess Nadia! I didn't notice you are here!” he exclaims and stands up hastily. Countess Nadia watches him with worried expression on her face, ”Please, you don't need to stand up for me.” Julian tumbles back to his seat and starts to tremble slightly. Nadia repeats her question about Julian's well-being, to which he just waves, ”I'm fine, really. I'm having the time of my life...” He sounds way too cheerful – almost hysterical – and Countess Nadia notices it. ”Please, doctor... I can see you are not fine. I know we haven't talked a lot, but unlike my husband, I hope you find me trustworthy. I have seen, how hard you're working to find a cure for this disease.” Julian's trembling gets worse and he clenches his hands into fists. He doesn't dare to meet the Countess' gaze, but mumbles, ”She... Hande... My apprentice... She... She's dead...” Julian sniffs and without a warning tears start to flow along his cheeks. ”My... Hande is dead, she's dead... My gods, SHE'S DEAD!” Now he covers his face with his hands and the only word his outburst could be described, is bawling.

The Countess remembers Hande. Wasn't she the daughter of that architect who designed her bedroom and contemplation tower? Her parents clearly loved her very much, and it seemed she was their only child. Nadia covers her mouth with her hand – she really feels sorry for Hande, her parents and the doctor here. He clearly cared about her, too. Nadia isn't sure what to do – she doesn't know Julian very well – so she puts her other hand on his shoulder and pats it comfortingly. ”I'm so sorry... She really was a remarkable young woman...” Nadia whispers. Julian just keeps trembling and crying, unable to stop. Hande is dead, and it's your fault. She died alone in that horrible place and you didn't even bother to check on her sooner! The woman you claimed to love is dead, and you kept it all to yourself! She died abandoned, thinking no one cared for her, although she meant the whole world to you! Much of a catch you are, ditching the people you claim to care for... Why are you alive, while she died, although it should be the other way round? You pathetic coward, you didn't deserve her and now she's dead because of you! My darling, dear Hande... I'm so sorry...

***

Days are still quite cold in Karnassos, but little by little the weather is warming up. Both Sardar and Helena have taken a day off and try to relax. There hasn't been any letters from Vesuvia for a few months, but Sardar and Helena have assumed, that their daughter is so busy with apprenticing that she hasn't any time to write. Knock on the door, it must be the post. Maybe this time there will be a letter from Hande. Sardar goes to open, thanks the mailman and goes back to the living room. Just a couple of letters from work and then probably some commission for Helena... Oh. And a letter in a handwriting he doesn't recognise. He sits on a pillow, opens the letter and starts to read.

15th February 836, Vesuvia

Dear Mrs. Kuura & Mr. Gul,

It is my deepest sorrow to inform you, that your daughter, Hande Kuura, has passed away on 18th of January 836. She came down with the Red Plague without anyone knowing, and traveled to the Lazaret, Vesuvia's quarantine island for the sick, by herself. Her body was cremated and buried on the island.

My deepest condolences to you. I can only imagine how great your suffering is, and I must admit, I hoped I didn't need to contact you to give you bad news – Hande always spoke so highly of you. I was her teacher at medicine, and I'm devastated to lose such a radiant person.

The reason I write to you this late, is that I only found about her passing yesterday. I was asked to go working to the Palace a few months ago, and then Hande took care of my clinic near the South End. I'm ashamed to admit, that I was so busy with my work, I didn't have time to check on her, and when I finally was able, it was too late. I'm so sorry for not taking good enough care of your daughter, my apprentice – that is one of my greatest regrets.

During her time as my apprentice, Hande was hardworking and compassionate – my patients grew very fond of her, and she proved to be a magnificent colleague. Over time she also became a good friend of mine. I know this isn't going to replace your loss, but your daughter fought bravely to help the others until the end. I'll send her belongings to you later – I hope they'll bring you even a bit of comfort.

I promise I'm doing my best to find a cure for this disease and to prevent it spreading outside of Vesuvia. I'm so sorry I couldn't save your daughter.

Yours respectfully,

Dr. Julian Devorak

Sardar just stares at the letter. Hande, her brave firstborn... Gone? His hands start to tremble and tears to flow down his cheeks. ”Na¹... NA!” he cries desperately. What has he done wrong to lose his children, both of his darling little girls? ”Darling, what's wrong?” Helena asks and comes to the living room to see her husband in tears. Sardar can't answer, but raises his hand a little to show the letter. A bad feeling takes over Helena's body. Hesitantly she takes the letter and reads. The letter drops from her hands. At first she just stares at the floor where the letter lies, but then she walks to her studio and closes the door behind her.

Helena leans on the door, trying to process what she just had read. Hande. Dead. All of her children gone, because of that cursed city and its incompetent leader... She had somehow managed to keep herself together, when Salma died, but now they're both dead and that's just more than Helena can bear. She slides down the door until she slumps onto the floor. She starts rocking herself and grabs her hair with her hands, almost tugging. Helena feels like she's a 6-year-old girl again, when his father had to tell her and her siblings that her mother is never going to wake up again. Helplessness... Tears start to flow down and she can't stop them. A howl escapes from her mouth and when the heaviness inside her starts to feel overwhelming, she shouts, ”PERKELE²!!!” Tugging her hair and cursing she bawls, only her clothes as her company.

After a while Helena hears a knock on the door. ”My love? Please, can I come in?” Sardar asks, sounding unsure. He has heard Helena's outburst and has never experienced her acting like that. It breaks his heart, and he doesn't want her to grieve alone. After a moment he hears Helena move and then the door opens. Helena looks horrible, but Sardar surely isn't any better with his swollen eyes. Carefully Sardar steps in, looking at his wife. Helena looks back, and they both can sense the desperation from one another. Sardar manages to give Helena a lopsided smile and opens his arms to her. Slowly Helena goes to her husband and hugs him back. They both start to cry again and slide onto the floor. ”Let it come out, my love,” Sardar sniffs, ”The world is testing us, but we'll survive this, together...”

***

2 weeks later

The home of Sardar Gul and Helena Kuura is filled with people, but instead of happy chattering, the atmosphere is quite grim. Everyone wears black and talk very quietly. Since Sardar and Helena didn't have a body to bury, they decided to organise a memorial service so that everyone who knew Hande could have an opportunity to bid her farewell. The couple had answered to Julian's letter and sincerely thanked him for informing them and for his kind words. They had also invited him to the memorial service, but unfortunately Julian couldn't attend – his work kept him extremely busy and the whole Vesuvia was closed, so no one could leave the city. Still, he sent Hande's parents a bouquet of sunflowers, Hande's favourites. When they opened the package, the sight of the flowers made Sardar cry from affection, and now the flowers are displayed next to a painting of Hande Sardar had made himself.

Many of their neighbours, Hande's former teacher, Azita and Helena's whole family has come to the event. All of them were shocked to learn Hande had died trying to save the plague-ridden city. Even Sargon asked if he can attend and Hande's parents agreed – although Sargon and Hande hadn't talked to each others in years, Sargon still had been Hande's friend before their break-up. Sardar and Helena are serving halva, Forestian pasties³, gravlax and sandwich cake. People are taking turns, sharing some memories of Hande – especially Azita's speech is very moving. The ceremony is very beautiful and respectful, but still, all who have been close to Hande, are wondering the same thing: how can they carry on without Hande, now that soon they will all have time to concentrate on their grief, and nothing else?

***

It is so strange. With her gone. She was like a sun, warming and radiating to even darkest of places. And still she just wilted away... Just like the others... Bleeding and hallucinating... And I saw it. She didn't even recognise me. It never happened before. She recognised me even after all those years... She was always so kind to me. Not afraid of me even as kid. Don't know why. She healed my wounds and gave me food, although I was a scary gladiator. After she became friends with Asra... Still, she didn't shut me out. And I still was jealous... I was so stupid... Even when Asra left, she took time to visit me. Even when she was exhausted, she came and brought food... I didn't deserve it... I had to dig her grave... See how her remains were just dumped there... It felt so wrong. She deserved better. I think I miss her, but I can't show it... Must stay strong. I can't inform Asra, I don't know where he is. His heart will break when he finds out...

***

March 836

”Thank you, my friend,” Asra smiles to the Beast and gives it water chestnuts. He's in the field and the familiar silhouette of Vesuvia looms in the distance. Home. Asra's been gone for over a year, but now he's ready to return. Return to Hande. Hopefully she's forgiven him... He needs to visit the shop first – Muriel can wait a little longer. He takes a deep breath of the fresh air and starts to walk to the town determination in his steps. I'm sorry I ran away, Hande. Don't worry, I won't make that mistake again.

TRANSLATIONS:

¹ ”No”

² A curse word in Hongas, usually translated as ”damn it”

³ a fantasy version of Karelian pasty

If you want to read Azita’s speech, it can be found here.

My AO3

[magdalcne]

{ BELLA HADID / CISFEMALE / SHE/HER } whoa, whoa, you see that person over there ? that's ( TWENTY-THREE ) year-old ( MARIE HAKIMI ) . someone told me they were part of the london 47’s , apparently involved in some shit with the ( STOLEN ) crew as a ( MEMBER ) . their leader just died too ,  so they must be feeling ( HEARTBROKEN ) .  but i also heard about ( REDACTED ) , which i’m not sure the group knows about . i mean, it sort of explains why they’re the ( THE HIDDEN HEART OF GOLD ) of the group and why they’re so ( RELIABLE & METHODICAL ) and ( SARCASTIC & STRONG-WILLED ) . i feel like when i look at them, though, they sort of feel like ( VILLANELLE OF KILLING EVE, RED SLIP DRESSES, CHAMPAGNE FOR EVERY OCCASION, FRENCH KISSING, FUCK THE PAIN AWAY BY PEACHES ) - if that makes sense ? anyway , i’d stay away regardless .

statistics —

FULL NAME:  marie NICKNAME(S): don’t call her nicknames AGE: twenty - three GENDER + PRONOUNS:  cis  female + she/her ORIENTATION:  bisexual ( prefers women though ) ZODIAC:  scorpio sun,  she doesn’t know the rest BIRTHDAY: november 22nd, 1996 PLACE OF BIRTH:  paris, france DRINKING / DRUGS / SMOKING:  yes / sometimes / yes LABEL:  the hidden heart of gold / she has a soul i promise CREW: stolen STATUS: member SINCE: late 2015

backstory —

MARIE HAKIMI was born to an 19-year-old ÉLOÏSE DURAND and 21-year-old ERIC HAKIMI in PARIS, FRANCE, who played a large role in organized crime in paris. her parents were dating at the time of conception and lasted only two more years before parting ways and leaving éloïse to be a single mother. 

leaving éloïse to take care of a two-year-old all on her own, she quickly realized her financial safety net from the mob was over and began fending for herself however she can. her mother bounced from sex work to managing various fast food establishments and finally settled on doing housework for the upper class, living in her own quarters. as she was finally able to get herself and marie to be financially stable enough, the fatigue and trauma from the past ten years began to quickly catch up to her. by the time marie was twelve, her mom was diagnosed with clinical depression and by thirteen, her condition became severe. the rich family they were staying with let them go - which left them to lose both their source of income and shelter - and her and marie were back at shady places. 

at fourteen, marie’s mother began receiving disability checks and continued to stay in bed - eventually not even leaving to see her psychiatrist. and marie during all of this? she was fed up; all of this frustrated her. she was pissed at her mom for making them lose their income, just as she was getting comfortable. she was pissed at her for refusing to get up, seeing her as pitifully lazy. and it was then that she realized she was going to need to support herself. after talking to a few kids at her school and getting close to the teen drug dealers there, she began selling herself. but unlike her competition at school, she was highly determined and hungry to make a living from this, especially seeing the kind of money she could eventually make from this. 

and she was quite skilled at it all, too. she used her persuasion to con high school kids out of more and more money from a gram, which impressed the dealer she would buy from very much and earned her many referrals that helped move her higher up the ranks. this allowed her to be able to make enough money and move out early at sixteen. leaving her mother behind, she felt as though she could finally breathe and the gratification of being able to support herself at a young age did wonders to boost her ego and confidence.

this eventually got the attention of a group of criminals, eventually known to be les requins, who heard about just how quickly she was moving up the drug dealing ranks, she was interested and fearless. however, she was not anticipating them to tell her just how much they knew about her and weirdly enough, how much they knew about her father. which is also when she found out her father had died just three years prior. les requins, noticing her potential and also wanting to honor the memory of her father, decided to take her under their wing.

they started with the small, familiar tasks. while her clientele was more often than not foolish teenagers, they had her set her sights on their parents — pushing cocaine and ketamine rather than overpriced marijuana. and as she excelled in achieving that, and grew older and out of high school, they focused her tasks on entrapping men in order to steal from them. it started with the little things, like watches or electronics, but before she knew it, they trusted her enough to steal the big things too like, cars and guns.

and eventually, stealing and heists became not only marie’s thing, but the entire group’s thing. they basked in the negative publicity they received across paris media, and kept trying to one-up each of their heists or thieving rampages. but this overload of attention on them, truthfully, is something marie never wanted for herself. she knew this would only lead down one path — arrests and life in prison. and then she was approached with the most outrageous task next: killing the leader of london 47′s, jamie singh.

which she knew would be a suicide mission. but at the same time, there was a part of her who wanted the satisfaction and ego boost of assassinating the most high-profile figure in the underground crime industry. she wanted the clout. it was very superficial, but she wanted the power, and it motivated her to travel to london. she had a plan, she got close to that plan, and then his security caught her, last minute. 

at that point, she made peace with dying right then. the risks were apparent and her heightened ego got the best of her, despite her tactics being as careful as they were. but in a turn of events, jamie had security release her. he gave her an ultimatum: she tells him what she knows about les requins, give up allegiance to them, and allow him to get to know her and try to understand her. or, he would kill her himself. the former felt painstakingly embarrassing, but her ego already failed her once, so she decided to do just that. 

jamie understood her childhood struggles, his being similar, and the woman somehow deeply intrigued him. he then proposed a test to her: she had to stay in london, join the 47′s, and not tell anyone back in paris. if she failed, her life would once again be on the line, as second chances were rare for him. she knew this was a test of trust, and honestly, she was looking for a way out — les requins have gotten too reckless and at least there was a better blanket of security and structure in the 47′s.

and so ever since that moment when jamie showed remorse towards her four years ago, she had been working to pay him back. he was the mentor she always needed in her life and the bond they eventually grew, along with the rest of the group, gave marie a renewed sense of purpose. but with his death... it devastated her. she lost the one person she couldn’t stand to lose, who also happened to be the anchor of her found family. now, all she wants is the group to get back on track, worried about their reputation in the crime world. after all, if there’s anyone who knows that other groups could take advantage of this publicized vulnerability, it’s her.

personality —

BASED ON: Villanelle (Killing Eve), Amy Dunne (Gone Girl), Tony Soprano (The Sopranos)

+ reliable, persuasive, witty

- sarcastic, strong-willed, stoic

(scorpio, entj)

[joshhakiminyc-blog]

EASE MY MIND//JOSH&CHARLIE

WHO: Josh Hakimi and @mrcharlesjackson

WHERE: Charlie’s apartment

WHEN: Thursday, 21 of February 

NOTES: Josh goes over to Charlie’s apartment to check in on him after the TMZ article goes public. 

TIGGERS: None.

JOSH: 

Josh had been pacing around his apartment for a good hour after Charlie didn't respond to his text before grabbing his jacket and leaving his house. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked quickly down the busy city streets. Josh wasn't sure if Charlie was home but he was on autopilot at the moment and could only think of about seeing him.  All he cared about was Charlie's well being and how he was doing, which he pretty much figure was not going to be good. His heart was beating so fast as he stood outside of Charlie's apartment. Josh knocked on the door pretty hard "Charlie..." He pulled out his cellphone and texted him 'Babe..please answer the door..'

CHARLIE:

The article was everywhere. Everywhere he looked online, friends were sending it to him, his agent, his manager, even Misha had decided to offer some words on it and Charlie didn’t know what to do. He did know how to make it go away or fix it.  He couldn’t. Everything the article said was true and he couldn’t take it back. Then had come the phone call... his parents calling him to straighten out the rumors. He thought his dad would get the worst in but it was really his mom who had the most to say, calling him slurs that he hadn’t been called before. His dad actually sounded understanding as he tried to calm him mother down. Charlie couldn’t help but break down in tears at his moms words. His dad assuring him to give her some time. It was all fucked.

And now he was avoiding the main one of them all. Josh. He couldn’t face him, he couldn’t show him how upset he was over this. He wasn’t ashamed of him, was he? He didn’t want Josh to think that but there were so many thoughts circling his head. He heard the knock on his door, it rattled him out of his thoughts, he didn’t even think twice when he went to answer it, knowing by his phone who it was. Maybe he didn’t even have to speak. He was at his most vulnerable with Josh right now as he opened the door and threw his arms around the man.

JOSH:

His heart broke the moment Charlie opened the door. Josh could tell he had been crying and he hated that "Oh babe..." Was all Josh had to say as he held onto Charlie. He moved them into the house before he kissed him on the cheek gently. All Josh wanted to do was hold Charlie close and make all of this go away. He hated this, he hated seeing Charlie like this, he was so angry and heartbroken for his boyfriend. Charlie deserved so much better than this. Josh rubbed Charlie's back gently before he slowly pulled away to get a good look at him. He cleared his throat and kissed him gently once more. "What do you need me to do to make you feel better? I know I can not make this go away...But I would like to be able to help you as much as I can...Have you have eaten at all? I can make you food..." Josh wrapped his arms back around Charlie, he was at lost of what to do really. All his instincts were telling him to just hold Charlie, so he did that.

CHARLIE:

Charlie really couldn’t get a word out. He had no clue what to say or what to tell Josh. He felt small, which was weird for him. He pulled away from the other man as he made his way to sit on his couch and curl up into his side, trying to let it all out but more just kept coming.

JOSH: "Babe..." Josh walked over to Charlie and bent down next to the couch and gently brushed his side. He had never really seen Charlie like this before and he was worried. Josh moved over and gave his cheek a little kiss. "Honey, talk to me...Please."

CHARLIE:

Charlie sat up, wiping his face. “What do you want me to say? Huh?” He asked the man. “How am I supposed to come back from this? The only thing I can think of is me publicly dating a woman, and maybe then my mother will talk to me again.” Charlie raised his voice, he didn’t mean to but he was so frustrated and upset. “The network didn’t want me out either. I don’t know what to do, Josh.” He said as his voice cracked again.

JOSH:

Josh sat down on the floor and pulled his legs into his chest. His heart was in his throat, he winced a little when Charlie raised his voice. He swallowed thickly and moved his eyes to the floor. "I think... maybe... the best thing we can do is... end things here..." Josh took a deep breath, he hated this more than anything. "I love you ...more than I have loved anyone really... but I can not be the reason that you are in pain. For you to lose your job..." Josh wiped his face and nibbled at his lip. "I can't be the reason you lose your mom...I can't. I'm not worth that." Josh pushed himself up and moved so he was kneeling in front of Charlie. He placed his hands on Charlie's knees. "You are the best thing that has happened to me... you will always be the best thing to happen to me..." His voice broke a little as his eyes filled with tears.

CHARLIE:

Charlie looked away from the man and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what we do.” Charlie replied. “The damage is done, I fucked up, I slipped up. I just don’t fucking know where.... I’ve been so fucking careful.” He spoke frustrated as he took a deep breath.

JOSH:

"It's my fault..." He moved his eyes down and exhaled. "I..I was talking to Kitty.. not really thinking about how she might be a person to do this.. I mean who does this..so yeah..it's my fault. Which is more of a reason for me to leave honestly..." Josh moved back to sit on the floor, Josh wiped his face and kept his eyes on the floor as he waited.

CHARLIE:

Charlie furrowed his brows and shook his head. “Wh-What?” He asked in disbelief. “Why would you tell anybody you don’t 100 percent trust? Especially her! She’s story hungry. What a fucking bitch!” He yelled in frustration. He didn’t even know who he was angrier at. He looked down at Josh and shook his head “Get off the floor.” He told him before he got off the couch and headed towards his bedroom.

JOSH:

Josh flinched a little when Charlie yelled, took in a deep breath and was going to try and explain himself. "I...I..She pushed my buttons and I let my guard down... I...I'm sorry.." Josh watched Charlie walk away and he slowly got up and followed him. He stayed quiet and stood in the doorway of Charlie's bedroom with his hands down at his side. Josh wasn't sure how close Charlie wanted him to be. "I'm sorry..." He whispered softly.

CHARLIE:

Charlie paced in his bedroom and looked back at the man. “This is my Life, Josh... how am I supposed to trust you? How? Please tell me, because I driving myself crazy trying to think of a a way to.” He confronted the man who now seemed more upset than he was. “You don’t get to be sad, Josh. You haven’t lost anything....” Charlie began before breaking down in tears again and sitting on his bed.

JOSH:

Josh watched Charlie and stayed quiet. Josh moved over to Charlie and sat down next to him. "You can't. And that's why I'm sad. I'm sad because I hurt you. Because I might lose you. I'm sad for you. This is the last thing I ever wanted to happen." Josh looked over at Charlie "I want to make this better but I can't." He moved his hand over to Charlie's and gently squeezed it. He still wasn't sure where Charlie's boundaries were at the moment with him and as much as he wanted to pull Charlie in and hold him, he didn't want to press his luck.

CHARLIE:

Charlie had no other words. He didn’t know what else to say or do and yes he was angry at Josh but Josh was there for him. He had come to make sure he was okay. He cared about Charlie and that spoke a lot to him. Charlie squeezed his hand and rested his head on his shoulder. “I-I’m really tired.” He spoke softly.

JOSH:

Josh nodded and rubbed Charlie’s side and kissed the side of his face. “Then let's get you to bed. Come on.” Josh gently got up and reached out his hand for Charlie. “ Do you want me to stay with you or should I leave?” He asked softly.

CHARLIE:

Charlie took his hand and stood from the bed, waiting for Josh to pull back the covers for him. He took off his shirt and pants so he wouldn’t feel restricted and crawled into bed, laying his head on the pillows “Stay... please.” He told him as he looked up at the man. JOSH:

“Okay...” Josh smiled a little, he was a little taken back that Charlie wanted to him to stay, but grateful. He ran his hand through Charlie's hair gently before he pulled the covers over him. "Whatever you need from me, just ask." Josh sat on the floor. He wasn't actually sure if Charlie wanted him in the bed with him and he didn't want to do anything without permission from the older man to be safe. "I love you, Charlie..." He whispered as leaned up against the bed.

CHARLIE:

Charlie sighed as he laid in bed. “What are you doing on the floor? Get up here.” He murmured at the younger man. Charlie was more than upset but Josh was the only one that was truly there for him and he couldn’t blame him for speaking about him. He didn’t know.

JOSH:

There were so many thoughts going through Josh's head and none of them were very nice, he was brought out of his mind when Charlie spoke. Josh looked over at him. "I wasn't sure if I was welcome in the bed... I didn't want to assume.." He said in a small voice as he got off the floor and walked over to the other side of the bed. He got in and laid on his back, looking over at Charlie. "I'm sorry.."

CHARLIE:

Charlie turned to face Josh as the man laid in his bed. He sighed and shifted closer to the man, laying his head on the others chest and wrapping his arm around his body. “It’s okay...” he whispered.

JOSH:

Josh took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. "It's not though... Charlie.. I wasn't kidding when I said that I think we should end things... I know it wont fix what happened. But maybe it could help a little. At least with your mom..." Josh looked down at him and "We aren't worth you losing her..." He moved his hand through Charlie's hair.

CHARLIE:

Charlie furrowed his brows and sat up in bed. “Stop that. You really think ending things is going to fix anything? So, what? Me being outed to everyone in the fucking World is for nothing? No. We’re not breaking up...” he said firmly and looked back at the man. “I’ll deal with my family stuff later. We are not breaking up. I love you.” He leaned down to kiss him and lay back down on his chest. He was exhausted and frustrated but he still loved Josh.

JOSH: "I love you too." He said softly and kissed the top of Charlie's head. A part of Josh was really happy to hear that, to hear that even though he fucked up big time, Charlie still wanted him. Maybe their relationship was more then he thought it was. But the part of him that was yelling at him for what he did was a lot louder. He wrapped his arms around Charlie and held him tight hoping that would help quiet the noises.  "Are  you working on Monday?"

CHARLIE: 

Charlie nodded. “Hopefully it won’t be my last.” He mumbled as he closed his eyes. “I love you, okay? Don’t worry.” He tried to assure Josh

JOSH:

Josh opened his eyes and looked down at him. "It wont be." He kissed the mans head again "I'll try not too... can't make promises. Get some sleep." He whispered and gently rubbed Charlie's back.