#hardison listens to him go on about restaurants and eliot listens to him geek out

[somestorythoughts]

“Mr. Kirk Picard your party is waiting for you at gate E.”

Proof that Eliot listens to Hardison’s nerdy rambles.

[schrijverr]

Eliot's High School Reunion 6

Chapter 6 out of 10

Hardison and Parker convince Eliot to go and take them with him to his High School reunion. In this chapter Hardison talks to the geeks of Eliot's school and brags about his partner.

On AO3.

Ships: Thiefsome OT3

Warnings: none

~~~~~~~~~~~

Age of the Geek

Hardison is having a great time at Eliot’s reunion. He’d never realized how much fun High School could be, though that might be because it’s not his High School and no one here knows awkward teenager Hardison, just cool and suave adult Hardison.

No, because instead he has found his people. The Nerds. Yes, capital N, they deserved it.

Rosa is a great conversationalist once he got her out of her shell a bit, but there is only so long you can talk about security system before it starts to get uncomfortable or he or Parker start to get suspicious. So he has to cut that off before things can get awkward and Parker slips away again.

Luckily by the time that point comes she has introduced him to others of her old friends, most of which now either work in IT or labs. Laura Bennitch, the doctor from earlier has also joined them now and they’re talking about nerd stuff. It’s great.

“No, I get why with technological developments they made Yoda CGI, it’s just wrong,” he tells Colin. “Puppet Yoda is superior, and I’m saying that as a tech nerd.”

“There is something to say about the fighting opportunities CGI Yoda created for the character that are just not possible when using a puppet,” Colin argues anyway.

“I- I can’t with you, man,” Hardison puts a hand on his heart, feigning hurt. “This hurts my soul, maybe even my heart. Dr. Bennitch, I think I’m dying of a heart attack due to these bad opinions about a beloved character.”

Laura laughs at that. “I’m afraid you’ll have to book an appointment, I’m very busy.”

“Oeh that’s cold, doc,” Hardison says, but he’s chuckling.

“Hardison is a creative guy. I’m sure he knows about that sort of stuff,” Laura informs Colin despite her comment. “He and Eliot own a restaurant and I’ve also heard food trucks?”

“Yeah, logistical nightmare, let me tell you,” Hardison nods. “But nothing a few programs won’t fix,” he smiles, miming typing. “The food trucks have classic foods, but I’ve been trying to get Eliot to make the brewpub more experimental. I mean, how would you guys like to eat foam, shaped like a steak dinner that tastes like a dessert. It’s a sensory experience.”

The people surrounding him look like they would rather not answer, because their answer would be impolite. He sighs and says: “You’re making the exact same faces Eliot makes when I propose stuff, only he curses at me and rants about real food.”

“I’m so sorry,” Susie, a dear of a woman, says. “It’s just that optical illusions on my plate don’t seem appetizing. But I would love to hear more about your programs.”

And while Hardison is saddened he hasn’t gained more allies for his cause in food, his mood is brightened by getting to talk about his beautiful darling creations. “Well, we need to know where the trucks are needed, to start,” he launches into an explanation.

He is actually getting pretty good engagement about his programs, even if it’s obvious that most of the people there aren’t fully getting him, which is fine. Hardison has spend his entire life surrounded by people, who can’t follow him. It used to make him feel very lonely, but Eliot and Parker also don’t always get him, but they always let him explain (unless it’s time sensitive) and they always listen anyway. It’s nice.

Hardison looks at the people listening and thinks of Eliot. Eliot knew these people, he didn’t get them like he doesn’t get Hardison, but he never listened to them either, because back then he didn’t care. Eliot would probably care now.

It’s weird to think of Eliot like a jock that didn’t care about the other’s surrounding him when he cares so much now. It’s also weird to think he wasn’t part of the smart kids.

Unlike what he tells himself, Eliot is pretty damn smart and observant. It’s impressive how easily he recognizes the smallest details and connects them to what they mean. He also sells himself short on his intelligence, because computers aren’t totally his thing, still he managed to stay off the grid and under the radar long before he knew Hardison.

He’s also emotionally very connected to people and can read other’s incredibly well, even if his own emotions get lost on him sometimes. Yet, these people don’t know that. They don’t know how amazing Eliot is, because all they know is a kid who didn’t get to grow.

“The only languages I’m fluent in are coding languages,” he hears himself saying, working it into his rant, “but Eliot, man, he just busts out new languages every other day,” Hardison brags. “So far I’ve heard him speak Hebrew, Arabic, German, Russian, Spanish, I’m pretty sure he at least understands Farsi and I think I heard him curse in Hindi recently. It’s insane.”

“Are you sure you’re talking about the same Eliot?” Colin chuckles disbelievingly, “I remember him failing French. He could only say he didn’t speak it, what his name was and that he was fourteen. He was a Senior at the time, but he had learned it three years earlier. He’s not a language guy.”

“I am going to remember that fact, but I’m for real,” he replies. “He traveled all over and he picks up things like a sponge. He’s always pretending like he’s dumber than he is and then he’ll come out of nowhere with the most random facts.”

“I’m somehow having a hard time picturing Eliot of all people like that,” Laura offers apologetically. “I mean, he certainly got less, you know, jock-y, but some things are hard to change. I don’t think traveling around to find yourself is going to make you smarter.”

“No, only pretentious hippies do that,” Colin snorts.

“He does have the long hair…” and no Susie, not you too.

Everyone is nodding and Hardison is suddenly having less of a good time than before. He knows these people can’t possibly know how much trauma changed Eliot and what hardships he’s had to go through before coming out. They don’t know how much work and care and love he and Parker have poured into Eliot to make him think better of himself. They can’t possibly know that, but he wants to shake it into their thick skulls anyway.

“Okay, I get it, but I’m not lying, trust me,” he says. “Eliot is my best friend,” and that’s technically not a lie even if they’re much more. “I’ve spend the last nine years working with him. And I might not have known him in High School, but I know him now.”

“Well, maybe the arrogance has left,” Rosa offers as if it’s a platitude to prevent an argument from breaking out.

Hardison can’t help the laugh. “Arrogant? Are you sure we’re talking about the same Eliot?” he asks. “He can be a little shit about besting me, but he’s not arrogant. He and Parker climbed this dangerous mountain once and they nearly died up there, but afterwards he just shrugged and said it wasn’t a big deal that it happened and he just got lucky.”

“Oh my god are they okay?” Laura asks. “You hear all sorts of horrors from the ER about people loosing limbs to hypothermia.”

“They’re fine, all ten toes and fingers and all that, thank god, but it was incredibly stressful,” Hardison confides. “We suddenly lost contact with them, turned out they had fallen into cave as the ice under them broke. They had to climb out of it before they could walk back. I have never been more relieved than to hear Eliot complain.”

“I never complain,” Eliot’s voice suddenly comes from besides him and Hardison jumps slightly, not missing the other’s grin at that.

“You’re always saying ‘Dammit, Hardison!’” Parker replies, doing a pretty good Eliot impression.

“That’s the best Eliot I’ve heard you do, babe,” Hardison tells them.

“Ahw, thank you,” Parker smiles back.

“I sound nowhere close to that,” Eliot complains. “Why is everyone so shit at doing an impression of me? Remember Sophie at that potato company? Like what even was that?”

“Well, you’re very distinctive,” Hardison teases and Eliot rolls his eyes with a: “Shut up,” before turning to the group and saying, “Oh, wow, Colin? I hardly recognized you, you must be doing well.”

Colin is obviously surprised by that statement, which gives Hardison a sense of satisfaction. He splutters: “Wha? Yeah, yes, I am, I am. I run the local appliance store and while tech has had a slow start here, even this small town can’t ignore it.”

“Age of the geek?” Eliot smiles and Hardison gives him a fist bump. “But that’s great to hear, man. Glad you’re doing well and that someone is telling people here about the modern age. I hate to admit in front of this guy, but technology has it’s perks.”

“Ha, I knew it,” Hardison exclaims.

“And that’s why I hate to admit it,” Eliot says, but it’s far too fond for Hardison to take it to heart. “But I just interrupted y’all, sorry about that.”

“I was just telling them about that time you and Parker almost died on that mountain in 2011,” Hardison tells him. “Oeh, I remember that,” Parker lights up. “That was fun. We should do that again sometime.”

“We could,” Eliot nods, taking her completely seriously. “The most famous would be the Himalaya, but that’s way too touristy and unsafe to attempt untrained, lot of bodies of stupid people. But we could try Aconcagua in the Andes. It’s similar to Mt. Kibari.”

Parker’s eyes are sparkling, but Hardison stopping that before the idea can fully form. “No. No, I am notdoing that again. You know how stressful itwas for me when you two disappeared off the map?”

“You can come with us this time,” Parker offers.

“And that’s an even bigger no, Parker,” Hardison says. “You know how I feelabout climbing.”

“It’s technically less of a climb and more of an ascent,” Eliot points out with a smirk.

“That’s like saying CGI and puppet Yoda have the same character design,” Hardison huffs, giving Colin a side eye, who doesn’t notice it.

“They have, just because they’re different doesn’t mean the core things aren’t the same,” Colin notes instead, and Hardison is getting real tired of this guy.

Eliot’s smirk broadens and he elbows Parker as he nods to Colin with a wink. “Look Parker, someone with good CGI Yoda opinions.”

“I know you just say that to hurt my feelings,” Hardison pouts, without meaning it, “but it hurts my feelings every damn time.”

“Shut up,” Eliot says. “We went with you to that Comic Con thing, don’t complain.”

They did. It was a whole date/treasure hunt that Eliot had organized especially for him, so he couldn’t help but smile as he thought back on that day. He nods: “Yeah, yeah you did,” before snapping back to the conversation and seeing the surprise written over the faces of the people he’d been talking to.

It seems like he doesn’t have to shake it into their thick skulls how amazing Eliot had gotten, because they just witnessed it. Eliot is oblivious to it, because he says: “I totally forgot to ask how you are doing Susie. You wanted to work in a lab, right?”

“Yeah, I did,” Susie smiles, before saying, “I worked in one for a while, but I got married and have kids now, so I became a housewife.”

“That’s great,” Eliot says genuinely and it always surprises Hardison how much he cares for people he hardly knows. “How many kids? Still school age?”

“Three and my oldest is starting High School next year,” Susie replies, before launching into all sorts of stories about them, with Eliot nodding along and asking questions.

Hardison studies him for a moment, Parker warm against his side, but this sad gap between them and Eliot. He doesn’t miss that part of High School, the one that forces you to hide parts of yourself and makes you try and fit in.

High School is a weird place. A place where anyone can be forced into any role, like Eliot as jock. He wonders if Eliot would have been this caring in High School if he’d gotten that chance, or if it is all the blood he has seen.

No, you can’t develop that big a heart just from trauma. It is something uniquely Eliot, he decides. Before discarding the thought and focusing on admiring his partner and boosting his stories and highlighting his skills in the conversation, smiling as Parker does the same while Eliot tries to get them to stop with his looks. He has little success, but he also seems pleased, so Hardison doesn’t feel that bad about.

High School can be weirdly fun.

~~

A/N:

The part about failing French is 100% autobiographic lmao. I still can only tell you I’m 14 XP

The date to Comic Con is a reference to this post I made

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The French Connection Job

leverage 5.04

Eliot: I know what you're gonna say, Nate, but I want to tell you something about Toby. He taught me how to use a knife.

Nate: Use a knife?

Eliot: No. Not like I use a knife. He taught me how to cook. I was out of the service, and I was working for my second PMC. And the jobs we were taking were way across the line - past extractions and security actions.

Nate: Wetwork.

Eliot: Yeah. Anyway, I met Toby. We were reconning this restaurant in Belgium. And I should have closed him out. I should have been in and out in under 90 seconds. But I ended up talking to him for three hours. He showed me that I could use my knife to create instead of destroy. I stuck around for a couple of months. He taught me everything there was about the art of food, and I... He's one of the guys that kept me from falling all the way down. So now, I'm asking the other guy to understand why I'm gonna help him

HES BABY PROTECT HIM PLEASE

- - - - -

Eliot (stops him): Whoa. (gestures toward delivery man)

Hardison: What?

Eliot: You got to tip the guy.

Hardison: For doing his job?

Eliot: Hardison, he rode all the way over here on a bike to deliver your...

Hardison: That ain't nothing special. He got some exercise.

Eliot:...Dungeons & Dragons crap you ordered.

Hardison: He didn't bring me no cupcakes, no flowers, cards - nothing. You want a tip, little Stanley Tucci-looking... (give man change) Boom, boom, boom. Two quarters, two pennies. Go buy your mama something

eliot makes sure hardison gives tips because he’s a genuinely good guy

- - - - -

Sophie: I know it's short notice, but our celebrity chef just dropped out, and the network think you're a perfect replacement for the U.S. launch. The show is called "From Pole to Plate: Cooking with Strippers." Hmm? - But we haven't sorted the accommodation yet, so you'd have to live with the strippers to start off with.

Chef: Hell, yeah.

LMFAO HE WAS G O N E

- - - - -

Eliot: Food is life. Learn it. You will take this class seriously. Because if you don't, I'll throw your ass out of here quicker than you -

Hardison: I get to fire a laser. Yeah. Geeking in the kitchen. Uh, make you want to dance.

Eliot: We're here to cook food, not play with lasers

eliot is 0.000000005 seconds away from flipping his shit

- - - - -

Nate: How, um - how do you like being in Portland?

Parker: It's fine. Hardison and I are fine, and everything with the new Leverage is fine.

Nate: Parker, what's going on?

Parker: I just - I don't have a thing.

Nate: What do you mean, "a thing"?

Parker: Eliot has a thing. He loves food. Sophie loves theater. You have a sicko love of controlling people.

Nate: I don't have a sicko love - Let's stay on you. Art. What do you - what do you see when you look at Michelangelo's David?

Parker: Mark two laser grid around it, infrared on the floor, need a harness rated for six tons attached to a chopper to lift it out through a skylight

she’s BABY alright she just wants to feel

- - - - -

Eliot: Nate, I already swept the kitchen twice. There's no drugs. (to Hardison) Did you find anything?

Hardison: I think I did, man. Check it out. (fires gun) What? Wha- what? What?! Hey. Think about it. Levitating food could replace waiters.

Eliot: I will stab you in the neck.

Hardison: Don't hate the barbecue. Hate the sides.

sometimes eliot doesn’t know how he puts up with hardison and it shows

- - - - -

(Eliot is working in the kitchen, talking to Parker who is sitting at the bar)

Eliot: I'm gonna turn this place from a microbrewery into a gastropub. What do you think about that?

Parker: Teach me to like stuff.

Eliot: Parker, I don't have time for this, all right? I got to get this stuff done. Then I got to get back to the school

her sad, rejected face KILLED me

- - - - -

(Eliot puts a plate of food in front of Parker)

Parker: It's just food.

Eliot: It's not just food, all right? Some people could look at it and see just food, but not me. I see art. When I'm in the kitchen, I'm - I'm creating something out of nothing. You know what I mean? And sometimes, I crush it. Sometimes, it's crap. But either way, it makes me feel something.

Parker: Feel what?

Eliot: Just... feel.

Parker: Feel. Okay.

Eliot: You know, I didn't feel anything for a long time, and Toby taught me how to cook, and after he did, I started to feel stuff again. That's why I share it through my food. This is my art. This is my art, Parker. It's like letting a stranger in your head just for a second. And you allow them to feel what you're feeling. (pushes plate closer to Parker) Look again

he put off going to the kitchen to cook for parker and have a honest talk with her

he cares, your honor

- - - - -

Eliot: Parker can do it.

Parker: No, I can't. I don't even like food.

Parker: Except for chocolate and doughnuts.

Eliot: Listen to me, Parker, you can do it, all right? Remember everything that we talked about.

Eliot: Nate, she can do it.

Nate: Yeah, okay. So, Parker, you're the food critic.

eliot believes in her so much my heart is s o f t

- - - - -

hardison was legit eating a wholeass baguette and I’ve never vibed with someone SO HARD in my LIFE

- - - - -

Sophie: Oh, is it organically grown, ethically sourced, organically local?

she looks and sounds like everyone in my college town it’s ridiculous

- - - - -

Sophie: Parker, let's give them some micro-expressions. When you take your first bite, just give a hint of a smile. Remember, the key is micro.

(Parker takes a bite and doesn’t enjoy it)

Sophie: Well that didn't work.

Nate: Okay, so, what's wrong?

Sophie: When someone really smiles, then their eyes wrinkle up. You know, you just can't help it. But if a smile's fake, then the muscles - they don't contract.

Nate: There isn't anything she likes or can connect with.

Sophie: Parker, this time, when you take a bite, think of the first time you stole something.

(Parker smiles and Lampard relaxes)

Nate: Yeah, listen - Lampard needs to see some anxiety in her, you know, just to have him stick around.

Sophie: Parker, take a bite, then blink, then think of... jazz.

(Parker takes a bite, then starts gagging, spitting out the food. Lampard scrambles to her table)

everyone trying to get parker to find something she likes makes me WEAK they all love and support her so much just the way she is

- - - - -

eliot casually beating up the goon in the kitchen is an aesthetic

- - - - -

Eliot: How's it taste, Parker? You feeling anything?

Parker: The salsa verde is a nice marriage with the spring rolls, but while totally yummy, I just feel like... I should be feeling more

...

Parker: I can taste garlic and mushrooms. And something else that makes me feel different.

Hardison: Wait - was that for me? 'Cause I-I don't get it.

Parker: No. It's the food. I get it. I feel something

nate and sophie smiling at parker saying she feels something ,,, eliot being proud of her

- - - - -

(As Hardison turns, Rampone grabs Hardison and begins choking him)

Hardison: I'll bite you. I'll bite you!

(Hardison bites Rampone's hand and pushes the man back before running for the door)

Hardison: Nate, coming in hot

honestly biting people works

- - - - -

Rampone (looking at Eliot): Spencer, right? I thought I recognized you.

Eliot: Everybody out - now! (to Hope) Good job tonight.

Hope: Thanks.

(Eliot grabs a small bottle and sprinkles the contents onto a plate of food)

Rampone: See, the whole hippie thing threw me off.

(Eliot puts a plate of food on the edge of the counter)

Eliot: I'm gonna eat that when I'm done with you.

Rampone: Yeah, you were a good operator, if I remember correctly.

Eliot: It's a different guy.

Rampone: Bad attitude.

Eliot: Same bad attitude, though. You hurt my friend, Rampone.

Rampone: I should have killed him.

(Rampone reaches behind his back as he sprinkles spices on the plate of food. Eliot moves aside the tail of his shirt to reveal a knife)

Rampone: Like I'm gonna do to you.

(They both pull knives and begin trading slashes, hitting each other's blade. Rampone picks up a plate cover to use as a sheild. Rampone slashes Eliot on the arm and kicks him back. Eliot looks at the wound, then gestures Rampone forward)

Eliot: Come on.

(Eliot kicks Rampone, knocking him onto a counter. Rampone knocks him back, they continue to trade blows, knocking each other back and forth)

eliot is a different, better guy now and he ain’t dealing with your bullshit

- - - - -

Eliot: Not only did you and Lampard ruin my friend Toby's life, but you ruined the lives of the kids he was trying to help.

Nate (walking up): Eliot - Not worth it. Give him to the cops.

Rampone: Call off your dog. He's crazy.

Eliot: Crazy? I'm gonna cut your freaking head off and serve it on a platter.

Rampone: Call him off.

Nate (slowly walks closer, says softly): That's enough, Eliot.

(Eliot slowly releases Rampone and steps back)

Rampone: Thanks.

(Rampone swings at Eliot, who catches his fist. Nate punches Rampone, knocking him out)

Nate: Serve his - his head on a platter, huh?

(They begin to walk away)

Eliot: Was it too much?

Nate: No, actually, I liked it.

Eliot: I felt like it was a lot. Like, right when I said it, I felt like I may have gone too far.

for a second I was scared eliot was lapsing but I should have known better

- - - - -

Messenger: Package for... Alec Hardison.

Hardison: Oh, yeah. Got myself a laser.

Eliot (returns): Absolutely not. Don't give - don't sign for that.

Hardison: Don't sign for...? Hey, do you know what we're gonna be able to put on the pub's menu? On the pub's edible menu?

Eliot: Nate, you know...

Nate: Yeah, I know. You want to stab him in the...

Hardison: Stab what?

eliot: fOoD iS mY tHiNG

hardison: but EXPERIMENTAL food

eliot: *is ready to throw down*

- - - - -

Eliot: Where is Parker?

Nate: Oh, uh, she's, um, on a little trip.

[Museum]

(Parker lowers herself on a rope into a darkened room to look at a small sculpture. She smiles)

HER S M I L E