#hard not to but ian there 10 times

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I really want you to get started on Jurassic Park now after reading your tags.

All right, you asked for it! This post is going to be long because I've been rereading Jurassic Park since I was about 10 years old. But. My thoughts:

Jurassic Park is the oldest story in the world: one about hubris, and the price men pay for their ignorance of nature. From the first moment the protagonists step foot on the island, they can see it. There are poisonous plants next to the pool because they "look pretty." The harbor has no retaining wall because tropical storms aren't considered important. And there's a steep price for that hubris. Wu doesn't bother to learn the dinosaurs' names before breeding them, Nedry ignores them as unprogrammable, Malcolm mansplains them to their own creators, Regis laughs at the idea of them escaping, Hammond relentlessly monetizes them, Arnold insists he can control them... And they all get eaten by dinosaurs. It's the characters with the good sense to be overawed and scared (Muldoon, Gennaro, the paleontologists, the kids) who make it out alive. Almost paradigm.

More specifically, it's a book about the most fundamental principle of engineering: be scared, be confused, and then do something anyway. Then do something else, then something else, until something works. Timmy isn't a master hacker in the book; he's just (unlike Grant) willing to push buttons on the computer until he finds the power grid. Gennaro's still a scaredy cat in the book, but he clenches his teeth and goes into the velociraptor nest anyway. The heroic characters are the ones who conclude someone has to do something, despite not knowing what that something is. The villainous ones are the ones who refuse responsibility.

Speaking of which, can we talk about Ian Malcolm? I'm a sucker for a good Cassandra character, especially one that manages to get even the genre-savvy reader rolling their eyes and going "will you shut up?" And Malcolm is one of the best, every off-putting academic habit rolled into one: He thinks he's better than other people for not liking sports. He brags about not caring about appearances and then comments on Sattler's legs. He assumes Hammond has read his monograph and — when Hammond reveals he hasn't — pulls out a copy that he keeps on his person at all times to have Hammond read on the plane. He smugly explains that other characters should've foreseen they'd be killed by dinosaurs, only to be killed by dinosaurs. He calls his theory the Malcolm Effect. I do love Jeff Goldblum's gentler, more charming take on the character ("See, here, now I'm sitting by myself, talking to myself, that's chaos theory" I say literally every time I ask a question of someone who just left the room). But I prefer the way original Malcolm gets away with being right about everything because we so so badly want him to be wrong.

Speaking of that comment about the legs: by the low low bar of 80s/90s thriller writers, Crichton is surprisingly progressive. Jurassic Park invites us to laugh with (and roll our eyes with) Sattler, every time someone expresses shock the world's top paleobotanist is a woman. The Lost World perfectly captures the "women in STEM have to be twice as competent to get half the respect" dynamic, and it's a story about the male characters over-estimating their own competence as the female ones go about saving the day. Race isn't handled perfectly, but it is discussed in both books. Malcolm's chauvinism is designed to make everything else he says a bitter pill, to poison us against him. Crichton's no feminist. But Sattler's hardiness — later Harding's and Kelly's as well — are shown as hard-won in a world that batters nerdy girls so hard that only the toughest survive.

And Malcolm is just one of the many ways Jurassic Park masterfully lampoons scientific bullshit. After little Tina is bitten by a "strange lizard" and nearly dies from the swelling, Dr. Cruz assures her parents that lizards bite zookeepers all the time, that some people are allergic to lizard venom, and that the lizard Tina drew resembles a basilisk — and then we cut to him talking to his fellow MD. Where we find out that lizards don't attack humans in the wild, no human they know of has ever been hospitalized for a lizard bite, basilisks aren't venomous, and Tina's condition doesn't resemble an allergic reaction. They have no idea what this "lizard" (a Procompsognathus) could be or how it poisoned this kid, but they've been taught to obfuscate rather than admit that. Scientists are arrogant, and ignorant of their ignorance.

But the book is every bit as positive about empiricism as it is negative about individual scientists. The seamless way Crichton blends science fiction with science fact gets me every time. His preface connects Watson & Crick to Swanson & Boyer to Malcolm & Levine, explaining each step of the research process as he goes. He goes on to explain how Genetech developed its ideas from IBM, and that IBM and Genetech both contributed to InGen, which in turn influenced Biosyn, funded by Hamaguri... and only two of those names are fictional, but don't worry about which. Crichton does his homework, and then he presents his homework in the most compelling way of any writer I've ever encountered.

You need no further proof than the technologies — satellite phones, electric cars, touchscreens, gene editing — that were sci fi in 1990, commonplace today. Crichton did the reading. And he rolls that science out ever-so-slowly: dribbling first the mystery of the worker with a 3-foot gash in his torso who claims a bird of prey did it, then the mystery of the resort that needs the world's most powerful data storage, then the mystery of the billionaire who calls in the middle of the night with "urgent" questions about what baby dinosaurs eat... Until even 10-year-old me could look at that picture of a fractal and go "ohhh, I see how the unstable phase shifts of chaos theory explain the fact that a thunderstorm caused that guy to get eaten by a T. rex." Almost paradigm.

And all Jurassic Park's banging on about chaos theory belies a deep understanding of how interconnected ecosystems are. Animals, like plants, like subatomic particles, must be understood holistically. Pretending that the best way to learn the truth of any system is through breaking it down "is like saying scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast is human nature. It's nothing of the sort. It's uniquely Western training." Crichton clearly loves biology: "a single fertilized egg has a 100,000 genes, which act in a coordinated way, switching on and off at specific times, to transform that single cell... A house is simple in comparison. But even so, workmen build the stairs wrong, they put the sink in backward, the tile man doesn't show up when he's supposed to. All kinds of things go wrong. And yet the fly that lands on the workman's lunch is perfect." And he clearly hates what capitalism has done to biotechnology.

Hammond the venture capitalist is a perfectly despicable villain: No dinosaurs have escaped, because I said so. If there are problems, no there aren't. Put on a good show for investors, no matter how many contractors die in the process. Talk about all the "good" the park will do by making tons of money. The kids are stranded and the tech expert's dead? No they're not, because I said so, now pass the ice cream. It's truly a delight watching him get eaten by dinosaurs.

For that matter, Jurassic Park is bursting with details of style over substance. There are cutesy Apatosaurus cutouts in the hotel rooms and bars on the widows, a half-finished restaurant covered in Pterosaur poop, and a celebrity-narrated tour track that can't synchronize with the dinosaurs. It's trying to be Disney World, and it's actually a roadside zoo. The signage — "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth," the hand-lettered "Welcome to Jurassic Park", the room (and department) called "Control" — isn't subtle in its irony. But it is fun.

Which is yet another great sci fi trick. "Our funding is infinite but our peer review sucks" perfectly sets up the blend of the accurate with the plot-fueling (likely why Crichton reuses it several times). Why are there Pterosaurs in a dinosaur park? Our funding is infinite but our peer review sucks. Why are so many Cretaceous dinosaurs in Jurassic Park? Our funding is infinite but our peer review sucks. You didn't know Dilophosaurus is venomous? Our funding is infinite... It's perfect, because it's the opposite of how the scientific process usually works. Again: Crichton knows his shit, and he knows how to communicate it.

Like, even when I'm reading Sphere or Terminal Man — books where I'm perfectly aware I know more than Crichton on the subject, not in the least because their science inevitably became outdated — I still find myself believing, at least for the length of the story. You don't have to suspend disbelief when reading Crichton's work; he hoists it into the stratosphere for you. Half the time he won't give it back even after you're done. Almost paradigm.

But despite all that nerdery, Jurassic Park is still a rocking adventure story that builds momentum until it smashes to its conclusion at 70 miles an hour, ending the millisecond it can do so with not a word of denouement. You can practically hear that last deep piano note on the final words. It's cinematic as hell. This is Crichton post-Westworld, pre-Twister, the ultimate adventure writer. He reads, clearly, avoiding the errors of sci fi amateurs who watch too many movies (the T. rex has a distinctive smell, the island is relentlessly humid, so on) but he knows how to make a tight fast-moving story that you can consume in under three hours. His imagery is powerful, his pacing is on point, and his plot sucks you in and shoots you out like a water slide.

Jurassic Park is fun. It's informative. It makes you laugh, and gasp, and sigh, and think. It has its flaws (Harding Sr. fades out in the 3rd act, Grant's Maiasaura expertise never pays off) but those are minor in a book that stands up so well to rerereading. Almost paradigm.

[em-harlsnow]

In season 10 mickey comes back from prison and he’s tired. He’s so, so tired. He’s been in prison or on the run for the past four years.

Maybe it doesn’t hit him right away. He works at Old Army as security. Him and Ian have a lot of sex, because there’s finally no one to stop them. Well, Ian’s family try to get them to be quieter about it, but neither of them listen.

But then, one day, Mickey realises that staying at the Gallagher house, being away from his Dad, being out of prison… he’s safe. He can finally relax, let his guard down. There’s no terrible event waiting around the corner to get him. He’s free, in more ways than one.

That’s when the tiredness hits him. He’s been on-edge for years, even before he went to prison. He’s been on-edge his whole life. Mickey’s always slept fitfully, always been ready for the next awful thing, always been prepared for a fight. But there’s no fight. It’s just him and Ian - and Ian’s annoying PO but to Mickey that’s run of the mill stuff.

The day that he looks around and breathes a full breath, the day he accepts that he’s safe, the day he realises that no one around him wants to hurt him, he becomes very tired. Like years of restlessness are catching up to him.

He goes to work, like normal, but the second he gets back home he’s collapsing in bed. He sleeps immediately, no matter that it’s only like 5:30 pm, he’s so tired.

Ian finds him in bed, knocked out, at around 6 pm, after his shift is done. And Ian worries that Mickey’s sick, because Mickey is much more the lie-in type than the early sleeper type. He checks his forehead but he doesn’t seem to be too hot. Not sick, then. Ian hopes that something bad didn’t happen at work to leave him so drained, but it’s not like he’s going to wake Mickey up to ask him. No way, Mickey’s a light sleeper, so any extra hours he can get are good. He also has a tendency to take a swing when he’s woken up, and Ian isn’t keen on a black eye.

So Ian does the only logical thing and climbs into his side of the bed; taking their laptop with him. He watches some cartoons on it with the volume turned down, occasionally daring to stroke Mickey’s hair and hope he doesn’t startle. Mickey’s always looked sweet when he’s sleeping.

After an hour, Mickey wakes up, but it’s slow. He doesn’t startle awake, just furrows his eyebrows and gradually comes to. Ian watches with enraptured fascination.

Mickey’s still tired, though. An extra two hours or so doesn’t do much to take that away. But Ian’s arrived now, which makes him smile in a loopy, delirious sort of way. Ian smiles back at him, and lets Mickey move up the bed to rest his head on his chest. It must not be the most comfortable, Ian thinks, because his chest is pretty hard compared to the softness of a pillow, but Mickey seems more comfortable, if anything. His arm is resting on Ian’s stomach, hand playing with the material of his shirt.

For a few minutes, Mickey watches the cartoons playing on the laptop, but he quickly falls back asleep. Ian wraps an arm loosely around Mickey’s waist and occasionally leans down to breathe in the smell of mickey’s hair. He’s asleep, so he can’t make fun of him for it.

Ian loves when Mickey’s all soft and sweet, even if it doesn’t happen too often. Usually in the mornings, or right after sex. This unprompted display of affection makes Ian’s heart swell.

They stay like that all evening, with Mickey waking up every so often. Whenever he wakes up, he lifts his head and looks around drowsily, looking at Ian like he’s noticing him for the first time. Mickey grins at him every time, because it hits him that he’s safe, free and he has Ian. Then, because Mickey will suddenly become elated at the crazy fact that he has Ian, Mickey will plant some gentle kisses along Ian’s jaw, neck, collarbone, anything in a close radius. Ian will twist his head so that they can kiss properly, and they’ll spend the next few minutes making out slowly, softly, unhurried and indulgent. Something they’ve never been able to do before, never been able to really appreciate.

Then, Mickey will fall back asleep, and the process will repeat when he wakes up again. The evening is spent oscillating between a sleep-filled cuddle and a warm make-out session with grumbled admissions. When Mickey mumbles into his lips at one point that he’s “fuckin’ happy” with no other explanation. Ian hugs him tighter.

It’s sickeningly sweet, and they stay like that until they’re both too hungry to avoid getting up. They go downstairs at around 8:30 pm with Mickey under Ian’s arm and still very tired, practically drooping, to eat anything they can find. No one pays any attention to them, although Liam sends them a disgusted look at the gross way they keep giggling to each other and pausing what they’re doing to kiss. They don’t let go of each other, clinging to each other, and it’s not because they’re scared of losing each other this time, it’s because they finally get to have each other without disruption or fear.

After eating, they go back up to bed and resume what they were doing. Blearily making out, watching cartoons and resting. Hardly talking accept for Ian to say that he’s really, honestly in love with Mickey and for Mickey to say how much he fucking missed him.

It’s nice, and Mickey feels safe, and Mickey firmly does not want to get up the next day, so Ian encourages him to call in sick. Ian calls in sick too despite how annoyed his PO will get, and they repeat it all the next day.

[dilfl0v3rss]

Basketball player ony x cheerleader reader?

coming right up boooo🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

tonight was game night, but not only for your boyfriend. as a cheerleader games were just at important to you as they were to ony. “mama you seen my socks?” he yelled from the living room as he dug in his bag for the third time looking for these damn socks. though it was nine in the morning and the game was at 8 in the afternoon, you and ony both had prep to be at by eleven. usually the two of you would still be in bed at this time on a saturday regardless of the game, but due to your recent activities last night neither of you prepared anything for the morning.

“in the dryer baby. they might be a little damp cause i just put em in ten minutes ago.” you yelled from the bathroom. words muffled as you leaned over the sink with your toothbrush still in your mouth. “shit” he mumbled as he ran towards the dryer. still in just his boxers and durag as he opened the still running dryer to feel for any water still in his socks. “shit!!” you had just finished brushing your teeth. pink scarf wrapped around your ponytail as you ran towards your bag to double check your uniform.

“papa you seen my bow? s’not in my bag!” you walked towards the door to find your boyfriend when you were met with his hard chest. face in a pout at he held pink socks in his hand. “babyyyy loookk” he whined as he showed you his usually white compression shirt that was now pink as well. “shit!!” you yelled. “what we gon dooo?” you sucked your teeth before running to your dresser. pulling out a pair of fresh socks. “cant do nun about the shirt so you gon have to play with just the jersey on, but you can wear these and i’ll get you some more tomorrow.”

ony quickly kissed your cheek before pointing towards his bedside drawer. “ian know where to put it so i just put it in my drawer” you gave him a quiet ‘okay’ before quickly walking to his side of the bed, pulling the bow out of his drawer before putting it in your bag. you took a deep breath before you looked up at your still half naked boyfriend leaving the room. “ony?” he walked back in the room with his bag on his shoulder. “hmm?” “where your clothes at?”

panic began to set in his mind as he thought of the last place he seen his team sweatsuit. eyes glued on the ceiling as he was deep in thought. “aww hell nah. baby where is it? you literally can’t leave without it on.” ony lifted his hand, cutting you off. “i know mama, i know. i’ll find it. you got yours?” you immediately closed your mouth. where did you leave that sweatsuit? “see?! look at you in my business and you don’t even know where your shit at.”

now it was your turn to wave your hand to cut him off before you walked out of the room in search of your cheerleading warmup. you ended up finding them both folded up on the dryer. at least you got one thing done last night. you gave ony his clothes and the both of you got dressed. before you got in the car the two of you made sure to double and triple check your bags before leaving your apartment.

“what you getting for breakfast?” ony mumbled as he made his journey to the starbucks that was just two minutes away from campus. “whatever i get we gon have to share cause we don’t got time to wait for two orders.” he nodded in agreement as he parallel parked right in front of the store. before you left the car you felt a light tug on your arm. “none of that healthy shit mama. i’m a big boy i want sum wit meat in it.” you rolled your eyes as you pulled his arm off of yours.

“you gon eat what i bring lil boy.” ony sucked his teeth before watching you walk into the starbucks. you ended up coming back with a bagel with avocado spread, which your boyfriend wasn’t happy about, but he didn’t have the time to argue with you so he sucked it up and ate his half as he drove the two of you back to campus. you were making good time since it was just hitting 10:15 when you got there. as the two of you approached the locker rooms you gave ony a kiss.

his large hands gripped your ass as he slid his tongue in your mouth. deepening the kiss to the point where you felt like if you didn’t stop him soon the both of you would end up in the locker room getting each other in trouble. “nuh uhh papa save it for after you win.” his lips curved into a smirk as he slid his hand off your ass, putting his finger under your chin so he can look in your eyes. “make sure you give daddy a show during halftime aight? ion get to watch the whole thing, but for the little part i do watch make it real sexy f’me”

you roll your eyes as you nod at his request, giving him another quick kiss. “i love you mama” he pulled you into a tight hug, breathing in your scent as much as he can before he’s separated from you for the rest of the day. “i love you more baby. good luckkk!!” as you released each other you gave your boyfriend two more quick pecks before he put his hand on the doorknob to his locker room.

“ion need luck when i got you”

[thrillered]

"You Know I Mountain Dew It For Ya" | Spencer Agnew x Reader | Pt. 10

Pt 10: Birds of a feather

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You walked into the office making a beeline for Shayne who was standing with Courtney and Erin. “Shayne, I need to talk to you.” You breathed out. 

“Okay?” Shayne questioned immediately feeling the frazzled energy around you. 

You walked away, heading to an empty meeting room, trusting that Shayne was behind you. You began pacing the short distance across the room, turning to Shayne as he closed the door behind him. “It is too early for you to be like this.” he laughed, feeling concerned. 

“I think I fucked up, like bad.” 

“Okay what’s going on?” 

“I… uh… meandspencerkissedandthenileftbeforehewokeup andsenthimsomebullshittextandhedidn’ttextbackoranything.” you blurted out. 

“Come again?” Shayne asked.

“Me and Spencer kissed and then I left before he woke up and then I sent him some bullshit text about why I left so early, like 5 am early, and he read it but didn’t say anything back.” You repeated, out of breath. You recalled the events of the night prior to Shayne, shushing him everytime he giggled or teased you. 

“You gotta talk to him, this just sounds like a misunderstanding.” Shayne consoled. 

“I just don’t know what to do, I like him so much but aren’t things going to change?” You asked.

“Change isn’t bad Y/N,” Shayne reassured, “Change has to happen, especially if you want anything serious with Spencer. But I think you need to talk to him soon.. Like today.” 

“Was it this scary with Courtney?” You asked, feeling defeated.

“It was terrifying, I won’t lie to you. But god, it was the best decision I ever made. I’m sure no matter what happens everything will be okay. You’re a catch Y/N, Spencer is gonna be so lucky to have you.” 

“You’re right, thank you Shayne.” You said, giving him a small smile. He pulled you in for a reassuring hug before leaving the room. 

You took a few deep breaths before groaning, knowing you had to find Spencer and soon. You sent him a text ‘Hey Spencer I need to talk to you, soon preferably’. 

—

Spencer read your text, agreeing with the sentiment but feeling upset enough to ignore it. He knew it was petty of him but he just couldn’t help it. You left him hanging with no answers this morning and for now, he intended to do the same. He turned off his phone, putting it in a drawer of his desk before going into his first meeting of the day. 

And so it began, you trying to talk to Spencer and him dodging you. First it was the text, then when you tried to talk to him in person he conveniently had a call to take. The whole day consisted of playing cat and mouse, you were exhausted. 

Both you and Spencer were in such bad moods by lunch the whole office could tell something was wrong. Spencer had to film right after lunch so you used this time to come up with a plan. You knew you needed to get Spencer alone but it would be hard considering it was Friday and you wouldn’t see him over the weekend if things weren’t resolved. To make matters worse next week you would be filming a “who knows Spencer best” best Alex and Shayne. You knew the chemistry on screen would be awful if things continued this way and the fans would catch on.

Your personal issues had already bled into the workplace and you didn’t want it to get farther than that. 

If Spencer wouldn’t talk to you then you had to show him how sorry you were, and you hoped you had just the thing. 

You had been working on a song at the same time as Espresso, feeling so much thankfulness in your life you wrote another song. It would take a long night to finish and get the vocals recorded but you didn’t care, you had to make things right. Feeling both inspired and overwhelmed with your emotions you crafted more lyrics, finishing a song that you hoped would convey everything it needed to. 

You spent the rest of the workday giving Spencer the space he so clearly needed. Before everyone left you stopped by Ian’s office. “Hey Ian, can I ask a huge favor from you?” you asked, mustering up the biggest puppy dog eyes you could. 

“Oh god what is it?” He replied, bracing.

“It’s nothing bad!” You assured, “I just wanna know if I can stay a little late today and use the VO booth, I have my own sim cards and everything I just need the equipment. I would use my own but there’s been construction all day everyday.” 

“Oh, yeah that’s fine, knock yourself out.” Ian said, “Can I know why?” 

“Song recording.” You said simply.

“Well if it’s a hit like Espresso go ahead, I mean have you seen the spike in views lately?” He laughed. 

“Oh god I have.” You replied, thanking him before wishing him a good weekend. 

—

There were only a few people, mostly editors, left in the office. Spencer had left about an hour ago, giving you a frustrated, almost sad glance as he passed your desk on his way out.

Luckily you and josh had a backing track that just needed a little polishing, made for this song specifically. With no time to lose you set up the equipment you needed and began recording. 

“I want you to stay.

Till I'm in the grave.

Till I rot away, dead and buried.

Till I'm in the casket you bury..” 

“If you go i'm going too,

‘Cause it was always you.

And if i’m turning blue, please don't save me.

Nothing left to lose without my baby.”

You allowed yourself to feel all of your emotions as you sang, hoping the rawness of your voice would shine. 

“Birds of a feather, we should stick together

I know I said I’d never, Think I wasn’t better alone.

Can’t change the weather

Might not be forever.. But if it's forever, it’s even better.” 

You began to tear up, reminiscing on all of the wonderful memories you shared with Spencer. 

“And I don’t know what I’m crying for,

I don’t think I could love you more

It might not be long but baby i, 

I’ll love you till the day that I die.” 

You were all but sobbing now, managing to keep your voice strong through the emotions. You continued singing, deciding you’d do multiple takes of the whole song and splice it together anywhere that needed it. 

“Till the day that I die.

Till the light leaves my eyes.

Till the day that I die.”

“I want you to see: How you look to me.

You wouldn’t believe if I told ya, 

You would keep the compliments I throw ya,

But you’re so full of shit. 

Tell me it’s a bit.. 

Say you don’t see it, your minds polluted

Say you wanna quit, don’t be stupid.” 

You finished out the song's last dozen lines, ending the recording before taking a minute to compose yourself before the next take. You continued recording, playing your vocals into your headphones to sing the harmonies and melodies. You were finally done around 8 pm. At this point no one was in the office besides you. 

You took your recordings and left after cleaning up the equipment you used. You knew you’d be working all night at editing it but it didn’t matter, you wanted to be able to release it tomorrow. 

Was this the best move in terms of your musical career? No, definitely not, this release schedule was not sustainable or encouraged but you couldn’t give a shit about your career right now. 

—

It was 6 in the morning when you finished the song and felt proud of what you created. You sent it to josh to look over before releasing it and began posting about a “Big announcement” on all of your socials. 

As early as it was, people were very actively talking about it. A new trending hashtag within the first hour. You hadn’t truly realized what Espresso had done for you but seeing the response of literally hundreds of thousands of people shook you. 

Josh got back to you rather quickly, sending you a new file where he tweaked a few things on the track, giving you heavy praise regardless. Enough traction had built online that you released the single around 9 am, accompanied with a post saying, “this song is really personal to me and I hope you like it because I love you. Birds of A Feather, right?” Written directly to Spencer, hoping he would read it and realize. 

—

Spencer tried to sleep in on the weekends. His attempts were usually ruined by one or both of his cats batting at his face until he got to feed them, at which point he was too awake to fall back asleep. 

This Saturday was no different. He drowsily got up and fed the cats before climbing back in bed and unplugging his phone. He went to make his normal rounds, checking his email and texts before opening twitter, only to find thousands of notifications, roughly 6 times more than usual. 

Curious as to what was happening he clicked over to the trending page. The top tag was your ship name, followed by iterations of birds of a feather. He went into the hashtags, quickly finding your original post. He read it. Then reread it and reread it again. “Birds of a feather, right?”. 

He knew that phrase. Not just because it was popular but because it was the exact verbiage he used with you when you first became friends. You were so scared you wouldn’t fit in with Smosh but Spencer kinda took you under his wing. You learned you had a lot in common and when you thanked him for his kindness he said it: “Birds of a feather, right?” 

He sighed, clicking into your account to look at your profile picture. The small icon being a professional photo of you and Spencer in a strange pose you did in the last smosh shoot. He swallowed thickly before opening the link in your post, redirecting him to Apple music where the first notes of your new song played. 

He sat still, each word you sang punching him in the stomach. He could feel your emotion through the phone, closing his eyes as he allowed himself to be enraptured by the noise. 

This song was different from your usual music, a nostalgic, almost melancholic ballad that rid Spencer of any anger and pettiness he had been harboring towards you. 

He wanted to see you. 

You needed to see him.

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart  || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin || Chapter 20A: I Don’t Need Nothing When I’m By Your Side || Chapter 20B: I’m Walkin’ Down This Rocky Road || Chapter 20C: You’re The Only One Who Gets Through To Me || Chapter 20D: Together We Can Make It A Dream || Chapter 20E: My Main Objective Is To Get You To Turn Your Mind Around ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 20F: Heaven Isn't Too Far Away

I don't need to be a superman

As long as you will always be my biggest fan…

 -- “Heaven,” Warrant (1989) [click here to listen]

North Carolina || March 1989

“I’m sorry that I’ll miss you in L.A., but I’m really glad you’re going out there. for the rehearsals. Especially since you won’t be making it to Europe.”

Jenny Fraser Murray sighed into the phone. “I’m torn, Claire. On the one hand I’ll be so happy to have a few days away from the kids – Ian’s mom is a godsend. But on the other hand I don’t want to be away from them for even a minute.”

“Ian will be happy to have you to himself, though.”

Claire heard Jenny smile through the phone. “He said it will be like old times. When we were dating, and we’d sneak off behind the amps to make out before a gig.” She paused. “Something you and my brother probably do all the time now.”

Claire smiled. “When we’re together, yeah.”

“I was really surprised when Jamie told me you weren’t going out to L.A. Is this the longest you’ve been apart?”

“Yeah.” Claire twirled the long telephone cord around her wrist. “I’m not going to lie, Jenny, it’s been incredibly hard to be away from him for so long. But at the same time, it’s been really helpful.”

“How so?”

“Just…it gets intense with him. And as much as I love him, and as much as I know he loves me, we both needed the time to breathe.”

“I hear you. So what have you been up to this week?”

Claire leaned back in her chair. “There’s a clinic in town – I got in touch with them right after we moved in, and I’ve been going in every day to volunteer. Just a few hours, helping out with some of the walk-in patients. Cuts, burns, broken bones – lighter stuff.”

“Sorry. One sec.” Jenny’s voice was muffled over the phone, but Claire could still understand the words Maggie and share and your brother. Clearly the Murray kids were giving their mom a run for her money today.

“That sounds like fun, Claire. Or your idea of fun, anyway.”

“It feels so good to be a doctor again, Jenny. It’s a far cry from surgery, but – ”

“But it’s something. Something you’re good at, that you enjoy. And it’s something that’s all yours.”

“Exactly. When we get back from Europe, I want to do something more permanent at the clinic. I spoke to the woman who runs it – they’re definitely open to it. I told them everything about my past, and my license – they’re willing to work with me.”

“That’s awesome.” The line clicked. “Ah – Claire, I’ve been waiting for Ian all morning. This is probably him. I’ll call you later, OK?”

“OK. Say hello to him and the kids for me. Talk you soon.”

“Take care of yourself, sister.”

Jenny hung up.

Claire glowed a bit. Glanced up at the clock on the wall, and crossed the kitchen to make some tea.

Ten minutes later, snug on the couch that was one of the only pieces of furniture Jamie had shipped from his old house in LA, Claire dialed a 212 number on the touch-tone phone, set the receiver on the arm of the couch, and pressed the speakerphone button.

“Dr. Germain’s office. Jeanne speaking.”

“Hi Jeanne – it’s Claire.”

“Hello, Claire! Right on time, as always. I’ll transfer you over.”

A few clicks on the line, and then –

“Good afternoon, Claire!” Raymond’s voice boomed through the telephone. “Did you make it to the clinic after we spoke this morning?”

“I did!” She sipped her tea, tucking bare feet under her folded legs. “Three hours have never flown by so fast.”

“That’s wonderful. Are you still open to what I suggested in our session this morning?”

“I am. He’s not on yet, is he?”

This was the second week that Jamie, Claire, and Raymond had held their daily sessions – via telephone while Claire was home in North Carolina, Jamie was with the band in Los Angeles, and Raymond at his office in New York. Raymond had recommended they start meeting during Jamie and Claire’s time away from each other – and to help them all get comfortable working together before the Europe tour kicked off in a few weeks.

Speaking over the telephone was not as ideal as being in person – but it helped them all get into the new routine. Raymond met individually with Jamie and Claire each morning, followed by a group session in the afternoon. Claire and Jamie spoke with each other outside of their time with Raymond, of course – Claire called Jamie’s hotel room as his wake up call every morning, he spoke with her before bed every night – but the conversations with Raymond were different. Focusing on topics that were deeper than Jamie telling Claire about rehearsals or meetings with the label, and Claire telling Jamie about a patient’s antics at the clinic or how she had finally gotten around to staining the bedside table they’d picked up at a garage sale.

Raymond had approached working together in a very pragmatic way. He struck a balance between getting to know one another and probing deeper on certain topics – after all, there were many things that Jamie and Claire still didn’t know about each other. But there was no timetable – Raymond insisted they work at their own pace, because the real work would happen once they were in Europe.

Claire and Jamie actually looked forward to their time with Raymond. It helped them focus on themselves, and on each other, in a new and refreshing way. It bridged the thousands of miles between them, during their time away from each other. And having that separation – together with the telephone, and not needing to look at each other to speak – was indeed a good opportunity to explore some topics.

“I’m here. Hi, Claire.”

“Jamie,” she smiled. “Where are you?”

“I’m at the label’s office. Colum dragged me here to meet with the suits. I said yes, as long as I could get lunch delivered and an office for an hour. So excuse me if you hear some chewing.”

“What’s for lunch?” Raymond’s voice crackled through the line.

“In-N-Out. My favorite, a double double with a chocolate shake. Claire, the more I’m here, the more I don’t miss being in L.A. But this…this I miss.”

“Well, as your doctor,” she teased, “I’m also grateful for your arteries that we don’t eat that kind of food at home.”

Jamie snorted. “So what did you do at the clinic today?”

“Splinted a broken thumb and stitched up a gash on a little boy’s head.”

“You sound like you’re smiling. I love that it makes you happy, but I’ll never understand why.”

“If I may,” Raymond interjected, “there’s a little more to it than making Claire happy. She and I explored that this morning.”

“Yeah.” Claire sipped her tea. “You’re right, Jamie – it does make me happy. It makes me happy because I enjoy doing it. But more than that, it gives me a sense of purpose. I’m helping people, I’m making a difference.”

“And?” Raymond prodded gently.

Claire pursed her lips. “And, it’s something that’s only mine.”

The line was silent for a long moment.

“Jamie?” she asked gently.

“You mean, something that’s separate from our life together, Claire?”

“Jamie,” Raymond responded, “if you’re thinking that this is something meant to replace you, or any aspect of your relationship…trust me when I say it’s not. When Claire and I spoke about this earlier today, she made it clear that that’s certainly not the case. It’s a way for her to build her own identity, as Dr. Claire Fraser. Because she’s left behind who Dr. Claire Beauchamp was – the surgeon and pill addict. And she’s also built an identity as Claire Fraser – wife to Jamie Fraser.”

“And I love being Claire Fraser, Jamie. I do. God, I wish I could hold your hand right now.” She sighed. “But I need to find out who Dr. Claire Fraser is. In my time at the clinic, I’ve started doing that. And I’m still tied to you. I wear your letter and your ring on my hand, and your name on my driver’s license and my heart. This is…just…more than all of that. There’s room for more.”

Still Jamie remained silent. Claire’s heart began to race.

But Raymond let the silence stretch.

“Jamie…” he finally interjected after a while. “Do you want Claire to keep exploring this side of who she is? Who she could be?”

“Of course,” Jamie replied instantly. “I want nothing more than for Claire to be happy, and for her to be who she’s meant to be. She’s meant to be a doctor. She’s known that since she was a little girl, and that’s so awesome she knows that about herself. I still don’t know who I want to be.” He paused, chewing. “And I know that she’s also meant to be with me, to be my wife. That’s another part of who she is. Am I right, Claire? I’m not off base?”

“You’re right,” she said softly.

“OK. So – I know that she’s a doctor, and she’s my wife. I also know that there’s a huge part of her, that she hasn’t been able to grow for the entire time we’ve known each other. We’ve focused so much on our…our love, and our sobriety, and my music. But now I see that that’s been at the expense of other things. Like, her being a doctor. And I honestly feel kind of terrible that while I’ve been recording new music and touring and performing and dealing with my own shit, that’s all taken over and hasn’t given her the space to explore and grow.”

“That’s one way to look at it, Jamie.” Raymond’s voice was so focused, and Claire pictured him scribbling in his notebook. “But you can’t beat yourself up over it. Does what Jamie said, resonate with you, Claire?”

She rested her head on her arms, folded on the arm of the couch. “It does and it doesn’t, Raymond. Yes, I stepped away from medicine while I was getting clean, and then it was more important to me to figure out how to be with Jamie, and then get used to life on the road, and focus on my marriage. So I decided to push medicine to the background. To support Jamie in the way he needed, the last tour. I made that choice. Jamie didn’t force it on me – I would have said something if it wasn’t what I wanted. And now, I’m choosing to grow this side of myself again.”

“I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t support anything you want to do, Claire,” Jamie said softly.

“I don’t ever even think of that, Jamie. And if I did, I’d tell you.”

“I hope you would. I wouldn’t ever want that to be a misunderstanding between us. I will support whatever you want to do, you know that, right?”

“That’s a good segue way,” Raymond spoke softly.

Claire cleared her throat. “I’m glad you’re with Colum today, Jamie, because I’d like you to ask him something for me, for the tour.”

“Okay…he already agreed to have a doctor on standby, you know. If we get pregnant.”

“I know. I love that you did that for us, Jamie. But this is something new. When we’re in Europe, I’d like to find a way to volunteer at local clinics wherever we are. To spend time doing that in every city. I know that it won’t always be possible, of course – but I want to give back, when I’m on the road. I don’t want to just stop when we leave North Carolina – I want to keep going. I want to keep exploring this side of myself. And I know that everywhere we go, there will be people who need my help.”

“I would love for you to do that, Claire.” She could see him grinning. “God I wish I could hold you right now, so tight. I want you to do this. This is fucking awesome.”

She swallowed. “I miss you so much, Jamie. I love you, and I love being with you, and I can’t wait to be with you on tour. But I need to have something consistent that’s my own. I can’t be with you all of the time. And this helps me to do that.”

“Fuck yeah. I want this for you. Think of how cool it will be.”

“Yeah!” she grinned ear to ear. “And even if I’m pregnant, I can still do it. For a time, anyway.”

“I’ll speak to Colum about it today. The label or the local promoters have got to have connections. And I don’t want there to be any publicity. I don’t want people to think you’re doing this for the PR.”

“And you’d be OK, Jamie, with Claire being away from you during the day?”

“Yeah, Doc. Um…being here in LA without her, I’m more comfortable saying that now.”

“Versus before you left?”

“Yeah. I – Claire, I love you so much, but we were spending too much time together. It was…suffocating.” He paused, clearly uncomfortable with silence on the line. “Baby, talk to me. Fuck, I hate that I can’t see you. Talk to me. Does that make sense to you, what I said?”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “I get it, Jamie. I love you so much. I want to be with you all the time, but it’s not healthy.”

“Raymond, does that make sense?” Jamie’s voice was rushed, almost panicked. “Am I making sense? That I want to be with Claire all the time but I know that’s not a good thing?”

“It does, Jamie, and you are. You didn’t mention this to me before – is this something you’re only realizing now, in this conversation?”

“Umm…yes and no. I mean, I miss Claire so much right now that it actually hurts. But it’s been so fucking great to be here with the band. Angus’ girlfriends are out of town, so we’ve been spending a lot of time together, just me and Ian and Angus. And Colum, too. It’s been so much fun. I’ve been so busy. Almost too busy to think of anything else.”

“So – those fears we talked about during my visit. That without Claire beside you, you’d somehow fall back into addiction. That you needed her as your anchor, your constant reminder to stay sober. Do you still feel that way?”

“A little bit. But it’s not a big fear front and center every moment of the day. I mean, it sucks to come back to an empty hotel room, and it’s hard for me to sleep alone, but I know that’s temporary. And, I know that on the Europe tour I’ll be very busy during the day, probably more than I was the last tour. So even if Claire was with me all those hours, it’s not like I could really do anything with her during that time. I’ll be busy, and it’s not fair to her to just sit around without me. She can use that time more productively. Like volunteering at local clinics.”

“Good. I know that it was really difficult for you to fly out there on your own, and I’m glad you called me before you left for the trip, too, because I think we’ll all agree that you staved off a panic attack by doing that. But now that you’re there, do you understand why I had recommended you spend some time apart?”

“Yeah. Claire, did you understand from the beginning?”

“I did. But that doesn’t matter, Jamie. What matters now is that you understand. And that we have a new plan for Europe.”

“I love you so fucking much, Claire. I need you, baby. I can’t wait to see you again.”

She blew a kiss through the phone.

Jamie coughed. “Um, Claire? I need to tell you something.”

“Are you all right?” Raymond cautiously asked, after about thirty seconds of silence on the line.

“Um…yeah. I got another tattoo.”

“O..kay…” Claire replied.

“Was this planned, or impulse?” Raymond asked gently.

“Um…I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I knew what I wanted, but I decided a bit last minute.”

“I see.” Claire spoke slowly. “What is it, and where is it?”

“It’s the outline of the state of North Carolina. On my left arm.”

Claire couldn’t help but smile. “Where? In that space between the koi fish and your mom’s name?”

Raymond chuckled. “The two of you, I swear.”

Jamie laughed. Free. “Yeah, Claire. I don’t even want to know how you guessed that.”

“What can I say,” she laughed. “The perks of being a rock star’s personal physician.”

[atthedugouts]

Grip

Part 10 of my Magic Treehouse @galladrabbles brought to you this week by @darlingian with the prompt Grip. You can catch up on the series here

One moment Ian was with Mickey and now he’s watching an older version of himself in an EMT uniform talking to someone that’s clearly not Mickey.

“I wouldn’t even know how to get in contact with him if I wanted to, Trevor.” Older Ian says.

“But the detective said you visited him multiple times,” the annoying guy says.

“Just drop it OK? I have to get to work.” Older Ian grips hard onto the handle of his backpack.

Ian follows Older Ian out the door. Why isn’t he in the Army? This future is not the one he dreamed about.

[thebestandrealestever]

~LET THE LIGHT IN!~

part one: “friends?”

black fem coded! reader x miles morales 42 sum: ur his light :) .grumpy x sunshine kinda . warns : n word use, arguments translations: sol= sun

a/n: hey bookies , school beatin my ass !!! ima try to update at LEAST twice a week . yaal can slap me if i don’t, lol enjoy <33 . as always this is heavily unedited and this is short because it’s going to have multiple parts! a lil sum sumi’ve been working on.

miles used to be talkative, before you know what happened. he was quieter and if he did talk it was cold toned and short lived, you noticed that he didn’t talk and that’s no way to spend your high school years. so you were going to no determined to be his friend this year, it doesn’t hurt that you think he’s cute also.

“hey miles” you smiled at him as you took your seat next to him, he just nodded at you not even looking back. you smiled awkwardly to yourself but ultimately shook it off. you said hi to him and small talk every day, he was still the same monotone dude who never reciprocated the cheerful manner you spoke to him in so you decided do stop, you weren’t gonna waist your time trying to be nice to a gu-

“hey (name). how was your morning?” speak of the devil, even though his tone was rock hard if sounded like he was at least trying, you turn your head to him and see the small smile tugging at his lips and you return it “hey miles!” you ramble on to him about your morning and he talks too.

the next 3 days he didn’t show up at all, it did worry you a bit but maybe he was just sick. when he did come back he had a fat bruise on his sharp cheekbone, you noticed it when he sat down.

“what happened to your face? is it the reason you haven’t been at school. are you okay miles?” you turn your whole body to look at his bruise moving his chin with your hand. “don’t worry about it, sol. im good” he said gently brushing your hand off of his face but you didn’t believe it one bit. “but i am worried, tell me what happened?” you eagerly said almost demanding, putting your hand back on his chin and moving it up to get another look at the bruise and you knew his temper was short but you didn’t care right now, that’s not normal. “i said im good (name) u can stop acting like u care so much now.” he spat feigning annoyance through gritted teeth pushing your hand off.

you raised a eyebrow confused at that last part, “i can stop acting like i care. nigga i do care, you’re my friend miles and i care about my fucking friends. but you right, ima stop acting” you said sarcasm coating your voice as you turn to face the other way fake focusing on whatever work was infront of you , you hear miles sigh deeply after 10 or so minutes and you roll your eyes at it.

“i’m sorry, sol.” you turn your eyes at him but not your body, waiting for him to say something else “it’s been a bad week, ian mean to take it out on you. i know you care. i’m sorry.” he said in a tone that almost sounded convincing, he never usually apologized, “my bads”were the closest thing you got to one. you shift in your seat to look him in the eyes, you had never fought before, you didn’t know what to do with this. “i’m not gonna say it’s okay because it’s not, i get it though. but definitely don’t do that shit again.” you say assertively whilst keeping a small smile on your face. he stifled a laugh “yeah. i won’t.” there’s a pause between the two of you just looking at each other. “friend huh? you wanna be my friend?”

he says leaning back in his chair, keeping his eyes on you. “i am your friend, i’m trying to be atleast. but i can’t if you won’t let me.” you shrug laying the weight of your head on your shoulder until you feel a pair of toned arms around you, you shook your eyes wide open because miles never initiated touch. “i’m trying to. i’m sorry.” he says muffled by the fabric of your shoulder that he’s currently stuffing his face inside of. he hasn’t had a friend in a while, this was weird. but maybe he could be yours.

[tarohonii]

Eleceed guys as situationships/talking stages

Jisuk is the nonchalant, dry, but strangely very attached talking stage. After a day of talking with him, you start getting the feeling he has the personality of a guy looking to just hit and nothing else. Just constant streams of 'lmao' 'wyd' 'k' as responses. But then you realize he has never once made any sexual implications, and is surprisingly pretty consistent with his texts. Also sends surprisingly thoughtful (but short and dry) messages at times, or sends photos of things that reminds him of you. And then comes the very belated stage of realizing he's just completely and utterly hopeless when it comes to talking stages and in actuality is trying his very hardest in this. 10/10 talking stage who will take you very seriously if you manage to stick through the very rough beginning stage

Sucheon is a serial ghoster. Consider yourself lucky if you manage to get past even one message without him completely icing you out or blocking you. If he even cares enough, you might get a text of 'Sorry. busy.' 36 hours after your initial message. He will always be busy and he will never ever have enough to entertain a conversation with you no matter how hard you try.

Ian is the heartbreaker situationship. 100% has a roster. 100% only hits you up only when he's bored. Between said roster and how busy he constantly is, he barely has time for you. But when he does-oh man. The chemistry is off the charts. The conversation is back and forth, the topics are interesting, you're giggling and kicking your feet the entire conversation. But it will last for a total of around thirty minutes before he mysteriously disappears around 1-2 weeks before hitting you back up again. Will be very active on social media, though. Always vaguely mentions taking you on dates or meeting up but never does. Logically, you should drop him asap, but he has a way of reeling you back in.

Duke is the disaster situationship you meet at 19 years old. Charming, manipulative, and a serial lovebomber. Probably the first guy to ever "want a serious relationship" but for some reason wants to keep it somewhat on the downlow and never ever wants to put a label on any of it. Showers you with lavish gifts, makes you feel like the only person in the world, talks about starting a future with you, then ghosts you for days at a time because "he's busy" Reveals the most menial, benign facts about himself and then says "wow..I never let anyone see this side of me..." There is a 70% chance he is seeing other people and will gaslight the hell out of you on your perception of your guys's relationship if he gets caught. Will he make the time you're with him make you feel like you're the most cherished, loved, and wonderful person on earth? Sure. Will you be mentally torn to shreds and never be quite the same at the end of it? Absolutely.

Gahin is somewhat on the same vein as Duke, except he's a bit more candid about it. Makes it pretty clear from the get-go he's not going to take you seriously and he has priorities that takes a much higher place than you and isn't afraid of showing it. You end up falling anyways, especially since Gahin can't help but lovebomb a little-he thinks it's a little entertaining to string along people. It is a disaster-on your end. Gahin could not care less, unfortunately.

Asher is the startlingly clingy talking stage. Deprived of any genuine interpersonal connection, so imagine his shock when someone actually..wants to know about him...and wants to talk to him daily. Once he gets past his general confusion and distaste over it, you have unfortunately unlocked a burr. Spams you 24/7. Will text back as soon as you respond. Trauma dumps and yaps like a goddamned pro. Will bare all of his deepest darkest secrets to you and wear his heart on his sleeve-which is generally not a great idea in the talking stage. So if things go south or you ghost him or things don't work out...he will hold a grudge. will pretend to be nochalant, but he is the absolute opposite.

Wooin clingy talking stage pt. 2 but like. worse. Honestly has very little grasp on the concept of a 'talking stage' or a 'situationship' at all, so he has a very ride-or-die mindset when it comes to romantic prospects. Once you're in the talking stage, he assumes he's talking to his potential life partner and must tread with the upmost care. Will bombard you with apologetic paragraphs late at night if he feels he did something wrong. Will be very very very distraught if you end it after like. two dates. Will likely never get over you.

[thesinglesjukebox]

CHAPPELL ROAN - "HOT TO GO!"

2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate? You all! This wraps up this month's coverage -- see ya in November!

[7.00]

Alfred Soto: Chappell Roan's The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess is a sparkling collection of moods and passing desires, best when euphoric. The ballads might have been even stronger had she spelled out their choruses. [7]

Dave Moore: Spelling is fun! [3]

Grace Robins-Somerville: It's been too long since we've had a "spell the words out with your arms" song in the zeitgeist, and seeing people do the H-O-T-T-O-G-O dance at weddings has cemented its staying power. It's nice that lesbians have their "YMCA" now.  [8]

Katherine St. Asaph: "Hot to Go!" is a crowd chant-along that shouldn't work at all as one. The template is "YMCA," but the difference and the problem is that "YMCA" is instantly parseable when spelled out, while "H-O-T-T / O-G-O" takes a moment's reassembly. The other highlight line in "baby, don't you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me" is endearingly blunt -- more musicians should be that honest -- but nevertheless cannot honestly be chanted by anyone but Dan Nigro or Chappell Roan. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that "Hot to Go!" is hugely effective at getting crowds to chant along. [7]

Aaron Bergstrom: Retroactively furious about the idea that one or more of the Village People potentially did or did not endorse Jimmy Carter in the 1980 Presidential election. [7]

Scott Mildenhall: Who or what is a hottogo? The chant falls short of total clarity by going two steps further than succinct, but therein lies the charm. Bursting at the seams of some slightly thin fabric, Chappell Roan carries this so far and fast that she might struggle to find her way back. [7]

Leah Isobel: There are about five perfect hooks on Chappell's debut album. "Baby don't you like this beat?/ I made it so you'd sleep with me" is one of them, precise and funny and melodically flawless. I think that was the moment that sold me on her whole project: the bluntness balanced by craft, the expertise made human by the raw and embarrassing vulnerability of wanting sex, wanting recognition, wanting anything at all. Also, have y'all heard the fanmade Rhythm Heaven edit for this? Banger! [8]

TA Inskeep: Every generation gets a new cheerleading-cheer anthem -- think Toni Basil's "Mickey" or Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" -- and here's the latest, with a bit of "Y.M.C.A." thrown in for good measure. It's hard to ignore Roan's joy on this chorus; this is also a rare pop single where its meme-ability actually draws me in (cf. "Call Me Maybe"). How can you not smile when you hear this? [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Of all the guises that Chappell Roan inhabited on her debut album, this always felt like the truest — she sounds like Devo if they slayed, still gawking and midwestern and not quite fitting a perfect archetype of pop stardom but still, nevertheless, a star. The weepy ballads (some of them great) fade away in the face of this, the goofy chant-a-longs and dance instructions wearing one's resistance down on the strength of pure charisma and craft. There are hooks upon hooks here — I think I've had just the synth chord on the prechorus stuck in my head before. [9]

Ian Mathers: I took the number of times I've caught myself humming this song since I first heard the record last year and divided it by a very large number and got this score. I am not currently interested in Discourse beyond that. [10]

Nortey Dowuona: You're trying to take out Chappell Roan the way you took out Amy Winehouse and I don't like it. Not one bit.  Also, the '80s actually kinda sucked -- let's not go back. (This song is great btw.) [8]

Jel Bugle: I know everyone loves Chappell, and I’ve not really bothered to get too excited. I like the Casio keyboard sounds, and spelling out words in songs is always a good trick (see "D I S C O," and I’m sure Olivia has a spelling words out song?). I can see why Sabrina is winning the chart battle here in the UK. I just feel like this song is okay, warm rather than hot -- a sort of personality over the strength of the song. Plus, I’m getting tired of this song constantly being pushed to me by Spotify -- if it happens again the [6] becomes a [5].  [6]

Taylor Alatorre: For all the talk of Chappell Roan hailing the return of “recession pop,” this strikes my ears as more of a grasping imitation of the real than most of what PC Music was accused of putting out. Maybe that’s unavoidable given the generation gap, as well as the decline of the universal pop star – Chappell covers “Bad Romance” on tour, but she doesn’t exude the belief that she can be a legitimate successor to Lady Gaga. She’s ambivalent about the compromises required for mass appeal, even on songs like this one which are structured, at least internally, toward that end. It’s all the external festooning and DIY-style pageantry which redirect the song’s course toward a cozier ideal of attainable imperfection, a glitzy and glammy take on self-sabotage. Which, in the end, is its own kind of earnestness. “HOT TO GO!�� is confident enough in its own gangliness to bill itself as a coming-out party where everyone, even the normies, is invited, despite the singer’s doubts about the long-term viability of this promise. [6]

Tim de Reuse: The appeal of "Pink Pony Club" was immediately evident to me on first listen. But this one's a silly Chappell Roan song: The narrative here is buried under catchy turns of phrase and the hokey pokey-ass pre-chorus, leaving us to wring pathos out of a few scant lines in the verses. So, what's the draw? The simple build-and-release drama of a I-IV-I progression? The energy of a jittery, unkempt synthesizer-driven beat? Is the chant of "H-O-T-T-O-G-O" sugary enough to overcome my pop-pessimist cynicism and light up my long-calcified dopamine receptors for once? Eh, kinda. It's well-constructed, but it just isn't aiming all that high. [6]

Will Adams: Silly fun pop that doesn't require much thought -- just do the little dance and enjoy yourself! [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[coco6420]

tagged by @tiddiesoutwhenthetisout (who has just made a new nickname, tea, thats NOT tiddies lmao).

would be a shame if i listed my 225 want-to-read books for 2025 😟 its all too convenient

25 books for 2025

1. whd rouse's translation of the iliad

2. frogs by aristophanes. recently started it and i need to finish it, translation by ian johnston

3. iphigenia at aulis by euripedes. translated by someone i cannot name at the moment oops

4. evocation by st gibson, because of of my favourite books is hers. a dowry of blood. probably the rest of it too if book 1 goes well.

5. husbands material by alexis hall. i suspect i may secretly be a romance enjoyer because of the first book but also it might just be really fucking good.

6. ripe by sarah rose etter. honestly, i just want to read about someone's life

7. romeo and juliet by shakespeare. i dont particularly want to read shakespeare, but we're fucking studying it and i want a leg up to keep my grades for later

8. fingersmith. watched a really great video essay on the movie vs the book and im intrigued

9. memorial: an excavation of the iliad by alice oswald

10. the eyes are the best part by monika kim. because i need a dark tale once in a while

11. where sleeping girls lie by faridah àbíké-lyímídé

12. the only good indians by stephen graham jones

13. she who became the sun by shelley parker chen

14. as the earth turns silver by alison wong. im a chinese person living in new zealand, of course i wanna read a book about precisely that.

15. things fall apart by chinua achebe. ive heard praises sung about this book, and people feeling so hard.

16. but always in tandem by youcouldmakealife. it has no cover and 53 ratings in goodreads and the average ratinf is exceptionally high. i am intrigued.

17. the girl from the sea by molly knox osterang. the cover has adorable magic sapphics. what more do you need

18. how long 'til black future month? by n.k jemisin. the concept reminds me of the vogue story on queer people, a dystopian world that makes feeling and commentary. except this time its about race and modern society.

19. garlic and the vampire by bree paulson. this sounds adorable

20. the diomedeia by gregory michael nixon. someone recommended on the diomedes discord and i trust them so fuck yeah

21. cemetery boys by aiden thomas because its recommended EVERYWHERE

22. all that's left to say by emery lord, mostly because i have a copy

23. frankenstein by mary shelly

24. the secret history by donna tart

25. the road by cormac mcarthy

thanks for the tag!!

npt: @ri-dumb-fck @you-know-that-i-bought-it @johaerys-writes @skeelly

[em-harlsnow]

the ages of shameless characters does nothing but drive me crazy, so I'm activating some detective skills to figure them out throughout the seasons. also - im ignoring the years or times that the seasons came out, just going by what the show says.

First off: Mickey - bday is 10 August 1994

Season 1: 16, because...

he's not in it much, he doesn't speak much, but we know two things - he's a teenager and he's under 18 since he goes to juvie. He's in juvie for some part of three seasons, so I think it's safe to put him at 16.

Season 2: 16 for a bit, then 17, because....

it's now summer, and Mickey comes out of juvie. I think he turns 17 that summer, because when he goes back in, people are wearing coats more so I assume it's getting colder, so it's past august.

Season 3: 17 for half, 18 for the other half, because...

it's summer at the start, so Mickey's been in juvie for like 6/7 months. he's still 17, because he didn't go to prison at any point. by the time he marries Svetlana, I think he's 18. I don't know how old you have to be to get married in Illinois, but I'll say 18 because American laws confuse me more than anything else. either way, again, people are wearing warmer clothes around the time he marries her, so he must be 18.

Season 4: 18, because...

it's winter, the whole way through. There's no way it's the next year, since Ian is still underage according to Mickey (altho there's a possibility he meant under the drinking age of 21, but I don't think so). So Ian's been gone for a few months, maybe like 5 since it could be Jan/Feb and he must have left Autumn time. Therefore, Mickey's 18. The whole time. Summer hasn't come, so his birthday hasn't passed.

Season 5: 19, because....

it's summer for the first part. Late summer, since the last half is in wintery time based on everyone's coats. We can assume that Mickey has his birthday either between season 4 and 5 or right at the beginning of season 5. So maybe he's 18 for like 5 seconds. But for the majority and the end, he must be 19.

Season 6: 19/20, because...

he's only in it for one scene (diabolical). I can't tell what the season is really, because there aren't many coats being worn at the start, and then loads at the end. It seems unreasonable that a whole spring and summer have been skipped, doesn't it? although, maybe it's possible. There are also some days when it seems really hot and some where it looks cold, so I have no idea. I don't know what the weather's like in Chicago, sorry. So he's either 19 or 20 when we see him. Most likely 20. Either way, he went into prison when he was 19, unless the trial was really long and lasted from winter to august, which I doubt.

Season 7: 21 (when he appears), because...

we have two episodes (again, very sad). it starts in the summer based on the t-shirts without jackets everyone wears. by the time ep 10 and 11 hit, it's colder. it's hard to tell at the end, since they're at the border or approaching the border and the further south you go the hotter it gets, and it's very sunny when mickey goes across. If season 6 really is that winter and they skipped the summer (which now makes more sense), it's the following summer, going into autumn. so, august has probably passed by the time we see mickey. so he's 21 now.

Season 8: 21, 22 by the end (even tho we don't see him), because...

no mickey (rude). we can still assume his age based on the seasons and other characters. it's summer again! I'm guessing it's the year after?? since it looked like season 7 was approaching autumn? that also means Ian and Trevor were dating for around a year, and I didn't realise it was so long to be honest. anyway, if it's summer again, at some point throughout mickey turns 22 (alone, in Mexico).

Season 9: 23, because...

one scene with mickey! it's still summer, the same summer as before I think, because there's no way the Gay Jesus thing lasted a full year. it looks like it's a direct continuation from season 8. by the last ep, Ian is wearing a hat and an undershirt under the prison uniform, so it's autumn-y time. so, mickey's either already 23 when we see him, or about to turn 23. by the end, he's definitely 23.

Season 10: 23 at the start, 24 by the end, because...

it's summer when Ian comes out of prison. I'd put it at early summer, since Ian says it's been less than a year of being in prison. so at the start, mickey's still 23. by the wedding, it's 'supposed to snow', so I guess it's full on winter. so august is passed, mickey is 24, and finally had his bday when he's with Ian.

Season 11: 24 at the start, 25 at the end, because...

summer again at the start based on all the t-shirts. early summer, because by ep 10, mickey goes swimming or does something in the pool, because I'm not convinced he can swim, which you aren't gonna do in the autumn/winter, right? by the last ep, there are more coats, and it's their anniversary so it's 'supposed to snow', so it must be winter time. so he's 24 at the start, 25 at the end.

In conclusion, Mickey is way younger than he seems (im not talking about Noel, he looks the age he's meant to be, he just seems older). Also, Gallavich has been together for 9 years.

Let me know if you disagree with any of this, I think I'll do Ian next! I don't know if this was obvious to everyone else and I'm just slow, but this is gonna help me loads when I'm figuring out weather seasons and ages for fics lol.

Shameless needs to deal with its shitty timelines. It was much better at consistency in the earlier seasons.

[gallapiech]

✨Weekly Tag Wednesday✨

Thank you @jrooc for the game and tag!

Go quick--you get 30 seconds per answer (is that too long?) (no my mind blanks under pressure!!!!!) im gonna set a 30 second timer for all of these.

Name: the piench

Age: young an

Shower or bath: overall, showers. but ive been cravign a bath for the past like 3 months. i feel like itll fix me. we'll never know!

Weirdest snack you've had recently: uhhh. i' havent really be

Favourite food right now: such a plain answer, but pizza. LOL

Favourite song this week: hmm... I've kinda been listening to the same 10 songs for the past 3 weeks.

What're you reading right now? I've been rereading Like Real People Do by Grayola. I've also been reading some of th

First association when you hear Shameless: comfort in chaos, gallavich, ofc. angst uh m

Random Gallavich thing you have: mickey tattoo

Favourite Band right now: whoever created woman screaming sfx 2

Do you have any holiday 🎄parties 🕎 coming up? Only 1!

Any you actually want to go to? fuck no LMFAO

Do you like this time of year or hate it? Seasonal depression tends to hit hard, but this year I'm trying to really latch onto the christmas spirit! christmas! just a week away! im so happy about this informa

Favourite thing this time of year: eating good food and pretending like the calories don't affect me because its the holidays!

Cheersing 🥂 a holiday drink to:

@deedala @michellemisfit @spookygingerr @energievie @burninface

@mybrainismelted @roryonic @romidoes @blue-disco-lights @thepupperino

@heymrspatel @doshiart

@spoonfulstar @creepkinginc @spacerockwriting @stocious

@ian-galagher @transmurderbug @ms-moonlight-inn

@deathclassic

@sam-loves-seb @vintagelacerosette

@mmmichyyy@kiennilove

@femboymilkovich @suzy-queued

frankensteining jess' list.

[randomthefox]

"Rings don't actually exist. They're only for gameplay mechanics"

Meanwhile there are multiple characters who have rings on their person at all times

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/5/59/Sonic_Art_Assets_DVD_-_Amy_-_1.png/revision/latest?cb=20230731191523

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/1/15/Sonic_Art_Assets_DVD_-_Shadow_The_Hedgehog_-_4.png/revision/latest?cb=20230731210959

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/7/75/Shahra.png/revision/latest?cb=20150622115758

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/e/e4/Ariem.png/revision/latest?cb=20231102022111

There's stuff like Sonic having one or multiple rings on his person throughout the majority of Secret Rings

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/b/b2/Sasr21.PNG/revision/latest?cb=20220507181503

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/1/10/Darkspine_Sonic.PNG/revision/latest?cb=20220507180106

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sonic/images/4/4c/SonicandtheSecretRingsBlueRing.png/revision/latest?cb=20210414221919

In SA2 Sonic and Shadow discuss rings and the necessity of collecting them to maintain their super forms

Rings absolutely exist within the setting. Anyone who says otherwise is being willingly obtuse for no reason.

Now I have to admit, I am not entirely unsympathetic to the perspective that "rings do not exist diegetically in Sonic, they're just for gameplay." I was aggressive in my response to wg_alen but that's because I could smell the stink of "Ian Flynn said so" on this tweet.

Seriously, the "as silly as that sounds" just REEKS of "Ian Flynn said rings aren't canon in a podcast and what he says goes" doesn't it?

For people who are actually using their brains instead of thoughtlessly regurgitating whatever Ian Flynn tells them to think, and who have independently came to the reasoned position that the rings in Sonic are just for gameplay and don't "actually" exist; I understand. Because I used to be the same way. I also used to believe that the rings were just a gameplay mechanism and we weren't supposed to interpret their existence as literal within the world of Sonic. Same with the springs and bounce pads. They're just there because of video game mechanics, the characters in the world of Sonic do not actually interact with them.

But eventually I had to face up to the cold hard facts that no, the rings absolutely 100% exist within the world of Sonic. They are referred to directly and specifically in dialog multiple times across several games, and are used as currency in both Sonic Adventure's Casinopolis and in Sonic Unleashed for exchange for goods at store fronts. The rings are used as currency and as a way of providing "energy" for the cast and setting. They absolutely exist diegetically in universe.

Now perhaps the rings do not function LITERALLY the same way they do in the realm of gameplay. We never see rings fly out of characters upon taking a hit in any cutscenes for example. As recently as Shadow Generations, Shadow takes a homing attack from Sonic and just hits the mat. No rings fly out of him. And in the games like Sonic Adventure 1 and 2 where you can have boss fight against other playable characters, their damage threshold is just represented like a hit counter or life meter. Collecting rings does not refill their hit points, and if they collected a ring from the boss arena and then take a final hit which drains their hit points the boss fight will end even while the rings they collected fall out of them meaning they should have one extra hit to take by gameplay logic.

So the way the rings provide additional hits/mistake allowances is just gameplay mechanics which shouldn't be taken literally. But the rings themselves definitely exist, and have value both as a unit of currency and as a means of providing energy. This cannot be denied. And if some dumbass comic book writer is saying that should be denied, then that is just further proof that he's always always always wrong about Sonic and should never ever ever be listened to about anything ever.

[jessij1997]

MASTERLIST 📜

Loving a soldier

Word count: 35,230 | Summary:

Ian joins the army and Mickey stays behind until two soldiers knock on his door.

Loving a civilian

Word count: 39,215 | Summary:

Ian is called to his next overseas mission and has to leave Mickey behind again until he almost saves another soldier's life.

Kinktober 2024

15 fics of kinky Gallavich 🤭

A Haven Beyond the Horizon (ongoing)

Word count: 16,699 | Summary:

London, 1789 - hidden from society’s gaze, a forbidden love blooms in the shadow. Every stolen moment could be their last, every secret kiss could mean the end. As the pressure becomes unbearable, Ian and Mickey flee, hoping to find a haven beyond the horizon. But along the way, betrayal and sacrifice await them, and the question of whether a love that defies the world rules is strong enough to survive.

Hooked - What's worth fighting for

Word count: 32,785 | Summary:

Mickey, a lone underground fighter drowning in debts and rage, survives each fight by sheer grit and raw instinct. When Ian Gallagher, a composed and skilled ex-boxer turned trainer, sees potential beneath Mickey’s rough edges, he offers him a way out. But leaving the dirty world of street fights and his ties to a dangerous dealer like Tony isn’t easy. As Mickey struggles between survival and a chance for something more, the tension between him and Ian grows, blurring the lines between mentor, rival, and something deeper.This is a story about fighting for freedom, self-worth, and discovering what’s worth staying in the ring for.

The Way We Are

Word count: 21,455 | Summary:

Of course, they never really talked about all the shit that had happened over the years but they somehow had managed to be happy. A delayed honeymoon in a mysterious house throws them both off track and they are painfully reminded of their past. Will they be able to let go of fear and guilt and painful memories? Will they be the same afterwards? And the much more important question: Will Mickey manage to save Ian and himself?

The Apocalypse (Galladrabbles series) ongoing

Word count: 2,300 | Summary:

Mickey has always been a lone fighter, especially since the apocalypse. But when a redhead stumbled through his door, his broken world was turned upside down.

A Touch of Ice and Fire

Word count: 1,193 | Summary:

In the icy darkness of Winterfell, Mickey and Ian fight side by side – discovering a bond that connects them more strongly than the looming cold of the North.

Whumptober 2024

Word count: 5,560

November Drabble Challenge

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |

15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |

26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30

The Night you Stayed

Word count: 4,848 | Summary:

Around Christmas, it's hell at the Milkoviches. So Mickey runs away. Good thing Gallagher has a van in the backyard.

The stranger

Word count: 2,613 | Summary:

Ian meets a black-haired stranger on the bus. The rest is maybe just smut.

Trapped - every Choice has a Price

Word count: 2,547 (ongoing) | Summary:

Word count: 15,730 | Summary:

They wanted to celebrate their anniversary, but someone had obviously drugged them and brought them here to fight for their lives - for their lives, their relationship, and against time.

The Beauty and the Beast

Some of you know the story from your childhood: The Beauty meets the Beast, and with a kiss, everything is fine. But what if it isn't as easy as the fairy tales promise? Because real life isn't a fairy, right?

Video Edits

Art, Love and other Crimes

Wordcount: WIP | Summary:

A mysterious artist, a journalist digging for the truth, and a mess of lies, betrayal, and danger. When Ian starts looking into Mikhailo Moroz, he has no clue how much this guy’s gonna turn his life upside down—or how hard it’ll be to resist the pull of his deepest desires. But it’s not long before Ian has to make a choice: spill the truth or protect the man he’s falling for.

🧡 Ian & Monica

🧡 Gallavich - Everytime we touch

🧡 Does he have this look in his eyes?

My Art

This and this aaand this and this Nsfw

[thepupperino]

Oh, fancy seeing you here. Gimmie some gallavich with the prompt #10 😌 if you're feeling it, you know I love me some bratty mickey 😏

Love you 🫶🏼🖤

Hi I love YOU

Anyway like I told you I kind of ran away with this one but I hope you enjoyyy

10. …desperately

Sex with Ian has always been fun. Even when they were kids and he was terrified Terry would find out, being with him was fun.

It’s fun to learn and explore and experiment together, figuring out what they like, what works for them.

And that exploration has come with a few surprises.

Ian, typically such a sweetheart, has this commanding presence in the bedroom, and he just kind of naturally has a way of ordering Mickey around and getting what he wants.

And Mickey, king of the South Side, rough and tumble, just fucking takes it. Ian Gallagher says “jump” and he says “how high?”

Until recently. Mickey’s learned it can be fun to test the limits, push Ian’s buttons, give him a hard time. Sometimes he’ll ignore an order, sometimes he’ll mouth off, and it’s fun. They both know he’ll give in eventually, that he and Ian will both get what they want, but it’s almost like a game, seeing how far he can take things before Ian takes what he wants.

“Fuck,” Ian groans, his hand around Mickey’s throat, his cock deep inside him. “Tell me how you feel.”

Mickey draws in a breath as Ian’s grip releases, feeling his lungs expand. He could answer—it’s obvious enough how he feels—but he’s also feeling a little fun, so he dodges the question. “Yeah, right there,” he says instead.

“Mick….” And it’s off, the game’s started, Mickey’s taken back just a little bit of power. “Tell me how you feel.” There’s an edge to his voice now, something beside the horniness there when he first asked. Something demanding, something fun.

“Feel fine,” Mickey answers, his short nails dragging down Ian’s back. A little push and pull, give him something showing he feels good, but don’t say it.

Ian’s hand finds his throat again, a little more pressure than before. Mickey squirms under the weight, and Ian fixes him with a serious look. “Am I not being clear?” Ian asks. He leans in, gets real close, close enough that his lips brush against Mickey’s when he speaks, the air from his words warm against his skin. “Thought I told you to tell me how you fucking feel.”

And this is when it gets really fun, when Ian gets rough and demanding, when Mickey feels something building deep inside him. It’s like this twisted sense of pride—he did this, he has this effect on Ian—joined by a sappy feeling of love because Ian has this effect on him.

Mickey’s mouth falls open, maybe in pleasure, maybe in effort to breathe, and he recognizes another feeling, something like desperation, desire to get what he wants, desire to please. Ian eases up on the pressure, his hand still wrapped around Mickey’s throat, and Mickey only takes a second to catch his breath before he crashes his lips against Ian’s, moaning into his mouth, “Feel so fucking good.”

Hey did you know you can prompt me too?

[walkswithmyfather]

“[1] To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.[2] O my God, in you I trust;do not let me be put to shame;do not let my enemies exult over me. [4] Make me to know your ways, O Lord;teach me your paths.[5] Lead me in your truth, and teach me,for you are the God of my salvation;for you I wait all day long. [10] All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,for those who keep his covenant and his decrees.[11] For your name's sake, O Lord,pardon my guilt, for it is great.[12] Who are they that fear the Lord?He will teach them the way that they should choose.[13] They will abide in prosperity,and their children shall possess the land.[14] The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him,and he makes his covenant known to them. [21] May integrity and uprightness preserve me,for I wait for you.” (From Psalm 25, NRSV)

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26, NIV)

“Softening Your Heart” By In Touch Ministries: “When you trust God, there's no limit to what He can do through your life.”

“When we continually spend time with God in His Word, His presence will saturate our heart, making us sensitive and teachable. But just as a human relationship can grow cold unless we intentionally nurture it, the heart can gradually harden when we aren’t seeking intimacy with God. For our heart to stay soft and receptive, we must obediently—and promptly—respond to whatever the Lord tells us to do.

If you believe that God might be leading you in a certain direction, take the time to earnestly seek His mind on the matter and intentionally listen for His response. Then avoid getting busy with a substitute for what He originally called you to do. It would be tragic to work hard doing what you and others consider good, only to discover that you accomplished something that was not God’s intention.

Resisting the Lord often amounts to setting His purposes for your life on a shelf. And that will likely leave you feeling something is missing. There’s no substitute for God’s will, even when His plan might seem difficult or impossible. But when you trustfully approach God with a cooperative heart, there’s no limit to what He can accomplish through your life. So, step out in obedience today and say, “Lord, I want Your will—no matter what.”

[Photo thanks to Ian Dooley at Unsplash]