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justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago

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New in Town - Ch. 5: First Fight

Joel tries to figure out where things might have gone wrong. A continuation of New in Town chapters 1-4 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Best Friend's Dad!Joel Miller x Female Reader

CW: Angst. Lots of angst. No use of Y/N. Age gap (reader is 35 Joel is 47, not a focus of the fic). Minors DNI, 18+ only

Length: 5.3k

AO3 | First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Joel had never had a reason to be happy when Sarah left.

Not that he was happy she was gone. He missed her before she’d even gotten through security at the airport. But this time was different.

Before when Sarah left - when she drove back to college or he took her to the airport - Joel would smile until she was out of sight. Keep on the brave face so she wouldn’t feel bad about leaving. Then, he would trudge back to his truck or back in the house and try to not think about how acutely empty his life felt now that she was gone again. That was the problem when your whole world was your kid. If you raised them right, eventually they leave you.

But now, Sarah leaving had a silver lining: seeing you.

He was getting addicted to you, that much he knew. He’d only spent the night at your place twice now but he still found himself wanting to pull your soft, warm body against him when he went to sleep. When he saw a food truck that looked interesting, you were the first thing he thought of. When he looked for a movie to watch, he wanted to text you to see if you’d seen it, what you thought of it. You were in everything now, some part of his mind always lingering on you, second only to Sarah.

He’d all but raced to your place the night before. The second Sarah had disappeared through the security checkpoint he felt the familiar twinge of sadness, the longing for the time when she was a little girl who would come home from school and babble about whatever subject had caught her mind that week and they would watch a cartoon and he would read to her before she went to sleep. But the fog of loneliness that usually clung to him in the days right after Sarah left wasn’t there. Instead, there was you. You and your sexy little sundress and your collection of movies and your postcards from places you’d lived hanging on your fridge.

Joel still wasn’t sure why you seemed to be as desperate for him as he was for you. The way you pulled him into your apartment and all but ripped his clothes off, the way you rode his cock and moaned his name didn’t make any sense to him. But you did. And then you sat across from him at a picnic table outside some hole in the wall pizza place he’d taken you to and laughed so hard at something stupid he said that you almost fell off the faded wooden bench. You were the most beautiful woman Joel had ever been with and there you were, wanting to be with him, too.

He picked up donuts for the crew on his way to the job site Thursday morning. He was in such a good mood, he couldn’t help it. He’d woken up next to you that day and was going to fall asleep next to you that night. It was going to be a good fucking day.

“The hell got into you?” Tommy asked when he got to the site later that morning.

“What d’you mean?” Joel frowned, leaning against the truck bed next to Tommy.

“You look…” Tommy gestured vaguely at Joel’s face. “Not miserable. Which is a fuckin’ miracle since Sarah went home last night. So, what the hell got into you?”

“Nothin’,” Joel shrugged quickly. “Just having a good day is all.”

“Sure,” Tommy scoffed lightly, going to check on the status of some drywall. Joel took the moment alone to check his phone. You’d sent him a selfie, smiling hugely with your iced latte, looking like he’d made your whole damn day.

“You’re setting a high bar here, Miller,” you texted. “But thank you!”

You’d sent a heart emoji, too.

It made Joel’s actual heart skip a beat. That stupid little cluster of red pixels had his mind going a mile a minute, analyzing your every move for the past few weeks for any indication that you might feel the same way he was starting to.

“Got you to send me a selfie,” he replied. “Think I’m winning in this exchange.”

He checked his email and was about to stick his phone back in his pocket to get back to work when you sent another selfie. This one just at your desk in your office, just as beautiful with all your makeup on and your hair done but less intimate than the one from the morning with your skin bare and your eyes cloudy with sleep. But there was the trade off of cleavage in your form-fitting dress and he wasn’t about to argue with that.

“About to go wine and dine a client,” you wrote. “Fingers crossed for me!”

Joel smiled.

“Don’t think you need any help from me, Beautiful, but knock em dead!”

There was a cabinet delivery that Joel had to supervise - check over the different pieces to make sure nothing was damaged and everything was sized right - and it was so hard to not keep checking his goddamn phone. He wanted to see if you’d texted, see how your lunch had gone, pull up the selfies of you he’d started saving in a separate folder so he could find them easier and just look at you when he needed a reason to remember that life could be good to him sometimes.

When he checked his phone again after the delivery, he had a text from you. He smiled for a second and opened it but his heart sank as soon as he read it.

“So sorry, something came up at work,” you wrote. “Can’t see you tonight.”

He tapped his phone against his palm for a moment, trying to think of how to respond. You probably wouldn’t want a clingy guy but it felt wrong to pretend like he wasn’t disappointed by it.

“Shit happens. I’ll miss you. Tomorrow night?”

You had read receipts turned on and you opened the message right away. He stared at his phone, waiting for you to reply. But you didn’t. After a few minutes he couldn’t justify not working anymore and stuck his phone back in his pocket and got back to it.

He didn’t see Tommy again until that afternoon. He’d snuck a peek at his texts half a dozen times at least since your last message but you still hadn’t replied.

“Oh hey, before I forget,” Tommy said, jogging to catch up with him. “Maria wanted me to invite you over for dinner tonight.”

Joel sighed.

“Can you tell Sarah that I don’t need babysittin’?” He said, a little harsher than he meant to.

“And there’s the asshole I expected at work this mornin’,” Tommy clapped him on the shoulder.

“Sorry,” Joel sighed again. “Really, not tryin’ to be…”

“S’OK,” Tommy shrugged. “Does Sarah want to make sure you’re not just sitting at home, watching paint dry? Sure. But do I actually like seeing your sorry ass outside of work? Yeah, I do. And Maria rightly pointed out that we don’t get out the same way we used to now that she tied me down…”

Joel snorted.

“Lucky she’d have you and you know it.”

“Yeah yeah,” Tommy smiled a little. “But really. Come over, have some beers. Maria is making ribs and cornbread and potato salad and if you don’t help us eat it all I’ll be sick of it by the end of the week. You’d be doin’ me a favor, honestly.”

“Alright, alright,” Joel smiled a little. “Stop sellin’ it so hard, I’ll come over.”

“Now was that so fuckin’ difficult?” Tommy smiled back. “Tonight, six. Bring a change of clothes if you want, we’ll make up the guest bed, drink through some of the moonshine I’ve got sittin’ around.”

“Tommy, it’s fuckin’ Thursday.”

“It’ll be Friday somewhere,” Tommy winked.

Joel rolled his eyes. Apparently even marrying a lawyer wasn’t going to make Tommy stop being Tommy.

When Joel left work that evening, you still hadn’t texted back. He hoped you were alright, that you weren’t too stressed. But he was also starting to wonder if he’d fucked up somewhere and hadn’t realized it. You always texted him back the second you saw his message. You’d always been nothing but up front and transparent, none of the stupid games he remembered trying to play when he was dating back when he was closer to Sarah’s age. What if trying to see you all the damn time was too much too soon? Especially right after Sarah had been in town, the reminder that the two of you were sneaking around behind her back and putting one of the most important relationships in both of your lives at risk so the two of you could do… whatever the fuck it was you were doing. What if he just misread your signals and you were having fun but not looking for anything else? What if you just weren’t that interested?

He showered and grabbed his phone from the counter halfway through, finding the pictures you’d sent the other night, the ones where you were touching yourself to the idea of fucking him. He came so hard he made a mess of his shower wall and he was still panting for breath when you - finally - texted back.

“Don’t think so,” you replied. “Looks like I’ll be hung up through the weekend at least. I’ll text when things free up.”

You sent a little heart at the end of that text, too, which made Joel feel a little better at least. He wondered if it would be weird to bring a coffee by your office or send you flowers. It’s not like he’d ever visited you at work before. But he wanted to make your week better, not have it be filled with stress and whatever else was bringing this on.

He was still distracted when he made it to Tommy and Maria’s that evening, a six pack in hand. Part of him was trying to picture coming here with you, picture folding you into his daily life. Maybe you’d hold his hand as the two of you walked up to the door, maybe you’d lean against his shoulder when he put his hand on the small of your back as you talked with his sister-in-law, maybe you’d raise your eyebrows at him in just the right way when you were ready to head out and then let him fuck you when the two of you got home.

“Hey man!” Tommy opened the door, looking Joel up and down. He frowned a little. “Who pissed in your cheerios?”

Joel frowned back.

“Weren’t you just sayin’ I was in too good a mood?” He passed Tommy the beer.

“Yeah, this is how I expected you to show up to work,” Tommy said, leading the way inside. “Like someone kicked your dog right in front of you. Everything OK?”

“Fine,” Joel shrugged, wishing he could actually talk to Tommy about what was happening with you. He was married now, he’d clearly done something right. “You said something about moonshine?”

“Hell yeah,” Tommy clapped him on the shoulder and headed for the kitchen.

Joel was surprised to find that he really liked spending the evening with Tommy and Maria. He only checked his phone for a message from you half a dozen times - far less than he would have if he were at a bar alone or sitting on his couch. He was pleasantly tipsy and still trying to get the last of the BBQ sauce off his fingers when Tommy and Maria gave each other a small look before Tommy spoke.

“So,” he said, looking like he was trying to not smirk. “Got a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Joel said, frowning slightly before taking a swig of his beer. Nothing good had ever come from Tommy looking at him like that.

“Just how long have you been fucking Sarah’s friend?”

Joel choked on the beer and almost dropped the bottle onto the table as he coughed and tried to clear his throat.

“What?” He managed, still coughing.

“Think you heard me just fine,” Tommy smirked and Maria elbowed him, raising her eyebrows at him. “Right, sorry, don’t worry, we didn’t tell Sarah…”

“You say anything to her?” Joel asked, his mind working overtime. If Tommy or Maria had talked to you, maybe that’s why you were pulling away. That would explain everything.

“Course not,” Tommy said. “How long have I been sayin’ you need to get laid? Not out to fuck that up for you, probably take you 10 years before you found another woman who would fuck you…”

“What my husband is trying to say,” Maria cut him off with a glare. Tommy laughed. “Is that we weren’t looking to get in the middle of anything…”

“I don’t know why you’d think there was anything to get in the middle of,” Joel interrupted her, but Tommy barked a laugh.

“Brother, if you’re gonna fuck a girl in the bathroom at a party, you might want to try to be a little quieter about it,” he was grinning like the cat that ate the goddamn canary.

Joel groaned and put his face in his hand.

“Jesus Christ. Who else knows?”

“Just us,” Maria said, her voice calm and even. “And it wasn’t THAT bad. I happened to come in to use the bathroom at just the wrong time.”

“Just the right time if you ask me,” Tommy said.

“Oh fuck off,” Joel glared at him. He laughed again.

“Look,” Maria glared at Tommy who tried to stop laughing and did a shit job of it before looking back at Joel. “You’re both adults, it’s your business. We just didn’t know if Sarah knew, if you two were a couple or just having fun or what…”

“I have no fuckin’ idea,” Joel sighed even though there was an odd relief in him. It was nice to know that he could actually talk to someone about this now. Nice to not have to try to figure it all out himself. “Sarah doesn’t know. We didn’t mean to, Sarah’s the one who had us meet in the first place, thinkin’ we could both use a friend but Jesus Christ, Tommy, she’s like the perfect fuckin’ woman. She’s gorgeous, so goddamn pretty I was staring at her across the damn bar before I knew who she was, swear I was half done in for her before I ever even talked to her. But she’s so smart, I could listen to her talk all week about anything and she’d make it interesting. And she likes the same shitty movies I do, the same music…”

“Damn,” Tommy said, smiling a small smile at Joel now. “She really is perfect. You’re fucked, man.”

Joel frowned.

“C’mon,” he said. “I don’t…”

“I haven’t seen you like this about a girl since we were in high school,” Tommy smirked. “You’re down bad. Where’s she at with all this shit?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know,” Joel sighed again. “I haven’t done this in so damn long I feel like I’m fucking it all up. Feels like it’s too soon to talk about it but man, besides Sarah? She’s all I fuckin’ think about anymore. But I was supposed to see her tonight but she had to cancel this afternoon…”

“Explains the mood change from this morning,” Tommy nodded.

“I’m terrified of messing up with this,” Joel said, bouncing his foot impatiently under the picnic table. “I don’t want to lose her, I want to do this right. I just don’t know what that looks like anymore.”

“Joel,” Maria leaned across the table and covered his worried hands with one of her own. “You’re a great guy. If she can’t see that, she’s not the woman for you.”

“You plannin’ to tell Sarah?” Tommy asked, before Joel had a chance to argue with Maria’s point.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “Seems like the right move but I don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t want to fuck things up but we can’t sneak around forever. She deserves better than us sneakin’ around behind her back like goddamn teenagers. But I don’t want to hurt Sarah, they’re so damn close, I can’t see her being happy about this.”

“Well, is she worth the risk?” Maria asked, brows raised. “Does she make you happy? Do you see a future with her?”

Joel thought for a moment.

In the weeks since he’d met you, Joel was the happiest he had been in years. You were something he looked forward to, something he wanted to wrap himself up in so he was surrounded by you all the time. All he wanted to do was be next to you. It seemed like everything in the world would be better if it was next to you. If he could wait in line at the grocery store and look over to see you reading back over the list to make sure you didn’t forget anything, if he could pull weeds in the front yard while you set out flowers where you wanted them to go in the garden, if he could come home after an absolute shit day at work and find you napping on the couch when he got there, it felt like life would be worth it. Like all the shit he’d lived through, the years where he was positive he wasn’t doing the right thing with his daughter because he had no idea what the right thing was, the years he came home from work sore and tired and wishing he could have somehow had both Sarah and his dreams, the years he’d been so short on cash he was worried his card would get declined at the grocery store, all of that would fucking mean something. It all led to you in the end.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, she makes me happy. So fucking happy. And I do see a future with her and I want it. I want it so damn much that I need to try. I don’t think I can just stop this now I just… I’m so afraid of fucking this up. When was the last time I had a relationship that actually fuckin’ worked?”

“High school,” Tommy said. Joel glared at him. “Sorry, probably not a real question…”

“No, it wasn’t,” Joel muttered. “But I’m one thing all those relationships had in common. Me. There’s something I do that just fucks it all up and I cannot risk that with her.”

“Joel,” Tommy shook his head a little. “You really think that? That you’re going to fuck up every relationship you’re ever in?”

“That’s sure as hell what it feels like,” he sighed. “I dunno, maybe it’d be better to break shit off now. Before it goes any further and before Sarah finds anything out and I manage to fuck up with her too…”

“Why, you really want to be alone forever?” Tommy asked, incredulous from across the table. “When I said I hadn’t seen you like this since we were kids, I meant that. You’re happy. I haven’t seen that, outside of Sarah, in fuckin’ decades. If you end it because you’re afraid of fucking it up, you’re just as alone as if you let it run its course. Just do the damn thing, man. Get out of your damn head and have a real conversation with this woman and stop setting yourself up to fail.”

Joel nodded for a moment, his jaw clenched.

It was like he was standing at the edge of a cliff with everything he wanted sitting at the bottom of it. The only way down was to jump and trust that the parachute he’d packed himself would get him there without destroying it all. But there was terror in that, too. He didn’t want to hurt you or Sarah or himself. He didn’t want to put you all through something that would just blow up.

But fuck if he didn’t want to see what life with you could be.

“You’re right,” he said. “You’re both right. But fuck, that’s…”

“It’s scary,” Maria finished for him when he trailed off. “But most things worth doing are.”

He just nodded again.

“Any reason you’re worried you’re fucking up?” She asked. “Or just anxiety from past relationships?”

“I dunno,” he fished his phone out of his pocket. “I’m probably reading too much into this shit but…”

He unlocked it and found your text messages and scrolled to the start of the day.

“Don’t… uh… don’t scroll up past that…”

“Oh damn, you been sexting like a fuckin’ teenager?” Tommy cut him off. Joel glared daggers at him. He laughed. “Good for you, man.”

“Anyway,” Joel continued. “Things seemed normal this morning but she canceled plans last minute, took a lot longer to respond to my messages than usual… Just feels like I messed up somewhere and don’t know what I did.”

Maria nodded slowly, looking down at the phone and scrolling down, nodding along. She handed the phone back to Joel.

“Sounds like she’s just got a lot on her plate,” she said. “She said she was helping set up a new branch down here, right? Probably just has something with a really tight deadline that got added to her workload last minute. Don’t sweat it and just… be there when she’s done.”

“Right,” Joel nodded, the knot in his stomach loosening. “You’re right. I’m bein’ crazy. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Joel tried to keep that in mind through the weekend when you sent two or three word responses to the texts he did send. He tried to not think about the fact that this was the first weekend he’d spent on his own since he’d met you, how much you’d already become part of the pattern of his life, how much he looked forward to downtime so he could spend it with you. He tried not to let the grip of anxiety rule him as he found ways to keep busy around the house. He fixed a few things he’d been putting off, wiped down shit he normally didn’t touch like fan blades and the tops of his kitchen cabinets, washed his truck in the driveway even though the forecast next week called for rain.

“Hope things are getting better for you at work, Beautiful,” he texted when he was on a break Monday afternoon. “Missing you. Can I bring you dinner or anything?”

The read receipt showed it as read almost immediately but you didn’t respond. He groaned and shoved his phone back in his pocket.

“Still not acting normal?” Tommy asked.

“No,” Joel sighed. “I dunno, maybe I got in too deep too fast here. I thought we were on the same page but…”

“Just give her some space,” Tommy said. “Like Maria said, don’t sweat it yet, alright? Not like I know the girl but she sure seemed into you. Don’t think she’s just going to disappear on ya.”

Joel wasn’t sure he believed it but he nodded along just the same.

He pulled back on the texts. Maybe that was the right move but he wasn’t sure. You responded to them eventually, sometimes just a “thanks” with a heart emoji or an “lol right?” But you did tell him you’d let him know when your schedule got better.

“Hoping by Sunday,” you wrote.

“See?” Tommy said Friday afternoon as Joel stared at his phone when on a break yet again. “That’s a timeline. If she really wasn’t interested she wouldn’t be just sharing that. So get out of your head, alright?”

“Been more than a week,” Joel frowned before he sighed. “You have shit like this with Maria?”

“She’s a district attorney man,” he laughed. “Work comes first an awful lot. S’OK. She comes home to me at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. You’ll get there.

“Speaking of my wife,” he continued. “Did you know what Sunday is?”

“No,” Joel frowned.

“Our anniversary,” he said. “Officially made it a year!”

“Good for you,” Joel replied, trying to be happy for Tommy and not think about what he’d do to still be with you in a year.

“Yeah, it is,” Tommy nodded. “Which is why… I could use your help.”

Joel sighed.

“With what?”

Tommy smiled.

“I can’t believe you forgot your anniversary until two days before,” Joel muttered that evening as he walked through the mall with Tommy. “Don’t you have a fuckin’ phone reminder or something?”

“Well I do now,” he scoffed. “So next year I’ll have some warning. Jewelry’s a good option, right?”

“Isn’t there that shit you’re supposed to get for each other based on what anniversary it is?” Joel asked, remembering back to decades before when he’d tried and failed to make shit work with Sarah’s mom.

“Oh shit, I think you’re right,” Tommy said, getting his phone out and typing something in before nodding. “Right, right, paper… the fuck do you get that’s paper?”

Joel laughed a little.

“Could get her a nice notebook,” he said. “Stationary maybe…”

His voice trailed off as he looked across the mall, over the gap between the walkways that opened to the level below.

You were there.

It looked like you’d probably just come from work, in jeans and heels and a blazer, your hair and makeup done. But that wasn’t what caught his attention.

No, it was he man walking next to you, about a head taller than you, an arm over your shoulders pulling you to his side.

Joel couldn’t help but stare, couldn’t take his eyes away from it. Like it was a fucking train wreck, the carnage inevitable and clear and he couldn’t avoid taking it all in.

The man looked to be about Joel’s age, maybe a few years older but probably in that age range you’d mentioned the time you’d talked about the dating apps.

“Joel?” Tommy asked, looking where he was for a moment before noticing you, too. “Oh fuck… Shit, I… I’m sorry man I don’t…”

The man kissed your temple just before the two of you turned to go down the next wing of the mall, a bag dangling from his hand.

Joel’s chest felt tight.

“S’fine,” Joel said, turning and walking back in the direction they’d been going originally, putting some distance between you and him. “Not like we were anything official…”

“Still,” Tommy said, falling into step beside him, looking genuinely sorry. “Shit. Look, I can finish this on my own…”

Joel scoffed.

“Not gonna let you fuck up your first anniversary,” Joel said, trying not to think of that man kissing you other places, all the places you let Joel kiss you. “Let’s just… find her a good notebook or something and get out of here.”

You said you’d deleted your dating apps.

Said you weren’t fucking anyone but him.

That work was too busy to see him in almost a week but that you’d see him maybe Sunday.

Were you dating someone from Seattle who’d come to town to visit? Had Joel just been a way for you to keep busy while you and that fucking guy were long distance? Had you found someone here who could give you more than he could? Shit like nice dinners every date instead of fucking pizza places? Trips to the mall where he bought you nice things? Had you never thought about him the way he thought about you? Had you ever even considered things with him that he ached for with you?

He couldn’t make sense of it. Not when Tommy found a notebook that could get stamped with Maria’s initials, not when driving himself home in a daze, not when sitting at his kitchen table with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

It didn’t feel right, none of it felt right. It didn’t feel like something you’d do. But it was you he’d seen, he was positive of that. Not like you had a twin sister wandering around. You’d told him that you had no family but, truthfully, you didn’t need to. Sarah had mentioned it, the first Thanksgiving she knew you, when she talked about going to a restaurant with you for dinner that night.

“She’s not goin’ home to her family either?” He’d asked her the night before.

“Nah,” she said. “She doesn’t have any. No siblings, her parents died years ago apparently. Said she always does the restaurant thing for holidays and it does sound kinda fun…”

“That’s too bad,” Joel’d said. “About her family.”

“Yeah,” Sarah sighed. “But she seems pretty OK with it. And sometimes the best family is the one you find, right? I wouldn’t mind a bigger family.”

Joel had smiled at that, his big hearted daughter latching onto you that way.

“Me either, baby girl.”

So it had to have been you that he saw. You, with another man. His arm around you. His lips on your temple. His company you wanted to keep.

You could have at least fucking called. Texted. Had the courtesy of telling him you were done with him.

Which seemed like something you would do. You didn’t seem like the kind of person who would just vanish, who would pull away and blow him off until he gave up. You were the kind of person who would fucking talk to him. He knew it. He was sure of that.

So why hadn’t you?

“Fuck it,” he muttered, tipsy off whiskey. He set an alarm for the morning. He’d just go by your place. He’d talk to you. If you ended it, fine. Then he’d know. He could stop stressing over this shit, stop worrying about the heartbreak and actually live through it and then move on.

But he hoped he was wrong. There had to be an explanation. There just… there had to be.

He drove straight to your apartment in the morning, his mind still going through every possibility, trying to come up with some explanation. He didn’t send his usual good morning text.

Joel’s stomach got tight as he got closer and closer to your place. He had to fight the urge to just turn around and go back to his house, to pretend like he’d never seen what he saw at the mall, just hope you’d actually text him to hang out again eventually and act like he hadn’t seen or heard any of it.

But could he live his life that way? Build a relationship of any kind with you on a lie?

He didn’t think he could.

There was no car in your space when he got to your building, something that made his heart sink. It hadn’t occurred to him that you might spend the night at the other man’s house. His stomach twisted.

But he saw the door to your unit open and he was almost relieved until he realized who was walking out.

It was the man from the mall.

Joel got a better look at him now and he had to be a few years older than Joel, his hair almost entirely gray. But Joel thought he was wearing something different than he’d worn yesterday and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. The man got in an Uber and, before Joel could think better of it, he was out of his car, heading for your front door.

He rang the bell before he chickened out and he heard you inside before he saw you.

“I swear to God if you forgot something you’re not coming back in…” your voice broke off, eyes wide, when you opened the door.

“Joel,” you whispered. You were in one of those fucking not-quite-sweatsuit sets Joel loved. He hated that the other man got to see you this way. “What are you…”

“Can I come in?” He cut you off, fighting to keep his voice calm. You nodded. “Think we need to talk.”

Next Chapter

A/N: NEXT CHAPTER WILL ANSWER THE CLIFFHANGER QUESTION

I PROMISE IT WILL

But y'all. I gotta have a little angst. As a treat. Because it's me.

Feel free to yell at me about it in the comments or in my ask box. Also, subscribe to https://www.tumblr.com/justagalwhoupdates to get my fics delivered right to your alerts!

Thanks for putting up with my shit. Love you all!

Taglist: @fanficismydrug

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #new in town #joel miller x oc

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azriona · 18 days ago

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Not a Fairy Tale Kiss, Chapter 22

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Avenger!OFC (2nd person POV)

This Chapter word count: 2.3k ~ Total Story count: 130k ~ This chapter is rated Mature. Chapters posted Tuesdays, Thursdays, and most Sundays.

Summary: When you and Bucky are both accidentally hit with sex pollen while on a mission, you're determined to keep your relationship status at friendship, even if you’d like it to be more. Even if you think he feels the same. Even if you accidentally end up pregnant. Even if it kills you.

(Spoiler Alert: it might actually kill you. Good luck with that.)

Trigger warnings for later chapters include discussion of abortion, failed pregnancies, deaths of both mom & baby--not the MC! Full warnings on AO3. Happy ending is guaranteed, despite warnings. Please see AO3 for full A/N and tags.

Chapter Summary: In which you and Tony attempt to have a conversation the morning after Pollen Night.

Tony glares at the gliders. “Why doesn’t this want to collapse?” “Because everything is horrible and I just want to go back to yesterday?” you blurt out. Tony stops fiddling with the glider and glances at you. “Do you want me to kill Barnes? I can do that. Ten minutes, done.” You laugh. “No, Tony.” “I will.” “I know.” “Totally my pleasure.” “I know.” “I’ve got like, five different plans already in place.” “Tony. It’s okay. Don’t kill Bucky.” “You sure?”

Read the rest on AO3.

#bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes x female reader #tony is just a leeetle eager to kill bucky #you know for reasons #also we're gonna get a little more backstory in this chapter #and then we'll go back to the present day

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ghostwise · 1 year ago

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wip thursday! I've been sick with laryngitis all this week so I haven't been the most productive lately, but I did manage a bit of writing! Thank you @isayashai for the tag, I'll tag @palipunk @ruushes and whoever has something cool to share ✨

quinta de talpa - ch. 7

Through the valleys in the Weyrs, they sabotaged caravans delivering enslaved persons to the coast. In Seleny, they exposed a corrupt judge who granted the Crows favors in exchange for the power to eliminate political rivals. In Treviso, where they had just spent weeks in hiding, they stole classified Crow documents along with enough gold to gain passage on a ship, making a quick getaway.

And in Salle, the Merchants’ Guild had cut ties with the Crows altogether, citing the murder of Irineo Montiel as proof that assassinations had no place in a free market.

Minor wounds, but the Crows were bleeding, and that was what mattered.

“The Crows in Treviso are busy,” Zevran said with a grin. “They are booked out until next year, judging by these contracts!”

Handsomely lodged on a ship to Antiva City, he had the documents spread out all around the floor, surrounding him. He sat in the midst of this paperwork like a king, or so Hamal thought with a smile.

The trip was an indulgence. A getaway in style, perhaps a reward for how well their latest plan had been executed. Seeing his husband in high spirits was always good for him; happy wife, happy life, and all that, so Hamal, carefully avoiding stepping on any papers, strolled over to him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“Look,” Hamal said, picking up the document nearest to him. “Did you see? Just this week, they’re planning to kill the mayor of Treviso, the Duke De Ghislain, and half a dozen merchants and nobles of varying status.”

“Let’s drop them a line, shall we?” Zevran asked with a laugh. “There are many powerful and wealthy names in these contracts, who will no doubt appreciate the heads up. ‘This is a courtesy reminder of your upcoming assassination. Répondez s’il vous plait!’”

Who would have guessed that taking down the Crows would involve letter campaigns?

And yet the notices were prepared by morning, and sent the very day they reached port, to dozens of names across Antiva and beyond. The recipients would be able to act accordingly, hiring more security, or leaving the country altogether.

They’d pulled off a number of these heists already, had killed a few minor guildmasters and assassins as well, but the subterfuge worked even better. The Crows were becoming a poor investment, and this pleased Zevran to no end.

It was curious, in hindsight, that it should be here in Antiva City, where this all began months ago, that their lives would change so drastically.

#rinnywrites #dragon age #zevran arainai #zevran x warden #quinta de talpa #oc: hamal mahariel #i'm sooo excited to start on this next part you guys have no idea... so excited #thank you thank you for tagging me <3

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5sosxqueen · 2 years ago

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Ashton Sick From Stress

~Part 1~ , Part 2 >

What is this? 😅 Sometimes, I wonder what was going through my mind while I was writing these stories back then.

Warnings: Minor depictions of illness, migraines

Written in 2018

Published (Wattpad) - Jan 29, 2018

Word Count: 1511

Updates are every Tuesday and Thursday

Also Available on Wattpad and AO3!!!

Part 1:

Ashton's POV:

For the past couple of months of our tour we have been busy almost nonstop. We have had constant meetings, signings, sound checks, rehearsals, recording sessions, interviews, anything you name we've had to do in the past 2 months. Our band is seriously exhausted. We are all stressed to the max. So when I woke up this morning to achy muscles I wasn't too surprised, as we had a concert last night, but even still I don't normally get this achy and stiff from a concert. Practically all of my muscles were really tight and stiff.

We have a couple days off and we are at a hotel for a week so, thankfully, I can rest. I was brought out of my thoughts when Calum said "Hey guys I'm going to head down to the gym. Anyone care to join me?" After he said that my mind instantly was in a warm, bubbly, Jacuzzi that was waiting for me downstairs.

"I'll go! I need a bit of exercise once in a while." Michael said jumping off the couch in our room.

"Same here. I'll meet you guys there." Luke had just gotten up so he wanted to eat something and brush his teeth.

"Ash?" Michael's voice bringing me out of my happy trance.

"Huh? Oh sorry. I think I'm going to relax in the jacuzzi for a bit... I'm really achy from last night." Of course they didn't think anything of it since being the drummer is the most strenuous job in the band. At least that's how I often feel, this being one of those times.

Michael and Calum went ahead while I got my swim trunks on and grabbed my water bottle, and a towel. This hotel was really nice the swimming pool and jacuzzi are inside, so I didn't have to worry about sunglasses or sunscreen. The only downside of this hotel is that there are no elevators, that we have seen anyways. It only has two floor though so it's not so bad. I started the climb dome the stairs and I noticed not even a full flight down I became very short winded. Again odd, but nothing serious... Hopefully. If I ended up needing, anything the guys are just a 10 step walk from the jacuzzi so I wouldn't have had very far to go.

By the time I reached it I felt strangely exhausted. A little relaxing did me good though. All of the achy and tense muscles I had we're gone, thankfully and I had only spent a total of 20 minutes in there.

When I got out I looked in the weight room and noticed that Luke joined Cal and Michael at some point. Although I felt a bit better, I started to notice some pain in my chest and with the breathing problem I was experiencing 30 minutes prior, I didn't want to risk walking back to our hotel room alone. I was starting to also get quite shaky and a tad wobbly on my feet. 'Ya I need help...' "Michael... C-can you help me g-get back to the r-room?" 'That's odd why am I stuttering?' I questioned myself. I wasn't expecting that at all. I knew I was shaking.

"Uh, sure. Are you alright Ashton? I did notice the stuttering- Whoa!" I suddenly fell and felt arms around me. "Ya... I'll take that as a no... Of course I'll help you out buddy. You need to lay down anyways, by the looks of it." Michael quickly picked me up and went up the status back into our room. He wasted no time in laying me down onto one of the beds. "So what's going on exactly? I know you mentioned something earlier about being sore. Do you think you are getting sick?" Michael kind of rambled.

"I'm not sure. Probably... If I'm being honest, the Jacuzzi did help the aches and tightness in my muscles, but as soon as I got out I noticed I was shaky and having some chest pains." I watched as pure terror etched it way onto Michael's face.

"Ashton.... Anything else?" He asked.

"I was having shortness of breath when I was going down the stairs. That was one of the reasons I wanted your help." I addmited, only succeeding in making his worry skyrocket all the more. "... And I'm starting to get a fucking headache on top of everything... Fucking hell man." I exclaimed suddenly forcing myself into a sitting position with a hand on my head.

"Ashton, I really don't like these symptoms... Maybe we should take you to a doctor." He started to pull out his phone to call the others and let them know what's going on, but I stopped him.

"No! I'm going to try taking a nap and we will see how I feel when I wake up. If I am any worse we will go." He agreed to the plan. "Could you, maybe, make me something small to eat? That could be adding onto, or even causing all of this."

"Sure. I'll also bring back some meds for you. I don't fully know what to give you though." He said, somewhat sadly.

"Just get me something for my head. I'm not feeling sick or anything so it shouldn't be the flu." He nodded and felt my forehead to see if there was any warmth. I quickly reminded him that I was just in a hot Jacuzzi and that could really alter a body temp.

"That's true... Now I will be back. Try not to fall asleep just yet Ash." I nodded tiredly. Even sitting up and leaning against the headboard my eyes felt really heavy. I was fighting to stay awake.

Michael's POV:

'I am really worried about Ash. Chest pains aren't something to fuck around with and he should know that. He asked me to leave it alone for now and I will try my best.' There were plenty of times that I found myself contemplating calling Luke and Calum, but I ultimately decided against it. I finished putting together some Bacon and eggs in the kitchenette we had and swiftly brought over to Ash. "Oh Ash.." I muttered under my breath upon noticing his long deep breaths. He fell asleep. I set the plate of food down and gently shook his shoulder. "Ash I have some food for you bud." I watched his eyes open and he winded and grabbed his head. "Sorry. Do you have a migraine now?" He nodded, a tear falling from his hazel eyes. I wiped it away and closed the curtains, before grabbing a couple of my Excedrin migraine meds. "Here Ash. You were only asleep for 20 minutes. I'm shocked you have a migraine now." I whispered so I wouldn't hurt his head again.

"Ya, me too." Wincing at even his own voice.

"Will you be ok alone while I go downstairs to let the others know what's going on?" He nodded as he took the plate of food in his hands and began to eat. "Ok I'll be back." I said before turning and walking out of the room. I practically ran down the stairs and into the weight room. "Guys Ash isn't feeling too well."

"What do you mean? What's going on with him?" Luke asked quickly concerned for his band mate.

"Ya what's going on Michael. Is he ok?" Calum questioned.

"Define ok... Ha sorry. When he came in here and got me earlier he ended up falling over. I just managed to catch him, luckily, but he told me that he was having chest pains and shortness of breath, along with the muscle aches from earlier. He had developed a headache and after sleeping for about 20 minutes, it was a migraine. He's eating right now so that's a plus I suppose, but I'm still really worried about him. I tried to get him to agree to go to the doctor, but he denied and said that if, after a nap, he isn't feeling better he will go." I unknowingly rambled on.

"It could be from stress. We've all had so much on our plate the past couple months, I'm honestly surprised none of us had gotten sick sooner." Luke said. That made a lot of sense. I hadn't thought of that. "But even still, I agree that we should take him to the doctors."

"So do I. Even if it is just stress, it seems pretty serious, but we will have to wait it out for now and let him sleep. If he thinks it'll help that's in him." Calum stated.

We all decided to head back to the room. I waited while they grabbed there stuff from the lockers. Once they came out we headed back to the room. I looked to the bad and noticed that Ash had finished his food and fell asleep.

We all sat down on the couch and watch football on low volume. We chatted amongst ourselves for a while until we heard it...

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #michael clifford #ashton irwin #emeto #calum 5sos #vomit sickfics #ashton 5sos #michael 5sos #calum hood

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gemswisdomdelhi11 · 1 month ago

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classyladysworld · 2 months ago

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Good morning everybody and Happy Thursday!

I'd love to say it's "Hug a Tree" day, but it's never a bad idea regardless. Getting out and loving nature doesn't require money, status or special skills.

Treat yourself on your break today and step outside for some sunshine and fresh air.

Along with this, of course ...

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qnewsau · 3 months ago

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Big detail missing from PM's backdown on LGBTQI+ census decision

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/big-detail-missing-from-pms-backdown-on-lgbtqi-census-decision/

Big detail missing from PM's backdown on LGBTQI+ census decision

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese says a new question on sexual orientation will be tested for the next census, partially reversing a government decision that caused widespread backlash this week.

But advocates say the backdown isn’t enough, with no apparent commitment to questions on gender identity and intersex status needed too.

On Friday morning, Anthony Albanese told ABC Radio Melbourne the sexuality question was a “commonsense position”.

“We’ve been talking with the Australian Bureau of Statistics and they are going to test for a new question, one on sexuality,” he said.

“They’ll be testing, making sure as well that people will have the option of not answering it.”

The PM said there will be a question “as long as the testing goes well.”

Speaking to ABC Radio, Anthony Albanese said he’s been overseas and attempted to distance himself from the backlash over the decision, first confirmed on Sunday.

But while LGBTQIA+ advocates welcome a sexual orientation question, the Prime Minister hadn’t confirmed the status of other topics counting trans and gender diverse people and intersex Aussies.

“We welcome the inclusion of a sexual orientation question but the national snapshot of our nation must include all of us, not just some of us,” said Equality Australia CEO Anna Brown.

“The federal government shouldn’t pick and choose those of us who are worthy of being counted.

“Trans and gender diverse people and those with innate variations of sex characteristics deserve to be recognised as much as anyone else.

“It would be a shame if the government doesn’t trust the Australian public enough to accept that the census needs to gather basic data about our nation for it be meaningful and useful.

“These are sensible and pragmatic changes that will simply mean governments and other service providers have the data they need to make sound decisions, and there is widespread support for these new questions from across the parliament.

“Including LGBTIQ+ people in the census simply brings Australia into line with countries like the United Kingdom, Canada, Scotland and New Zealand that already count our communities.”

Greens LGBTQIA+ spokesperson Stephen Bates said his party now plans to force a vote on the issue in the parliament.

“The community has been asking for this Census change for years. Labor must do the bare minimum and implement it,” he said.

“How many more broken promises will Labor make before it becomes clear they couldn’t care less about LGBTIQA+ Australians?

“And now the Prime Minister, panicked by criticism this week, is trying to split the queer community down the middle.

“If we don’t keep the pressure up Albanese will keep on feeding us scraps and half measures. They need to count us in, all of us, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, intersex and everything in between.

“It’s all well and good for some Labor MPs to break rank on social media, but will they cross the floor in Parliament when it counts?”

Opposition leader Peter Dutton slammed for ‘woke’ census sledge

Meanwhile, Opposition leader Peter Dutton has been criticised for his take on the census controversy.

“I think the set of questions that we’ve got at the moment, the long-term way in which we’ve collected this data, has stood us well as a country,” he said on Thursday.

“If you’ve got the woke agenda, which I think is at odds with the vast majority of Australians, then the Prime Minister should argue that case. But I think we’re pretty happy with the settings that we’ve got in place at the moment.”

But LGBTIQ+ Health Australia CEO Nicky Bath said

“From this commentary, it appears that, he has forgotten that LHA and other stakeholders worked with the Morrison government and the Australian Bureau of Statistics to create the 2020 Standard for Sex, Gender, Variation of Sex Characteristics and Sexual Orientation Variables.

The then government supported [that standard] being included in all government national health and wellbeing surveys.

“I am surprised that Mr Dutton is not considering the economic impact to the nation, of not collecting the best possible data to make sound fiscal resourcing decisions, for health and wellbeing services planning.

“I think people living in Australia support good healthcare for all and not just for some.

“Rather than blaming so called woke agendas, Mr Dutton would be better to be asking what the financial cost will be of suboptimal health and wellbeing services and program planning if these four simple questions are not asked.”

#census

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chirpq · 6 months ago

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60+ Best Congratulations and Promotion wishes for Father

60+ Congratulations and Promotion Wishes for Father

Happy professional anniversary to you dear father. I wish you a prosperous career and boundless success. These Heartwarming words are meant to cheer you on your journey. Here’s to even more Struggle and commitment, and may the success story never stop unfolding. Congratulations on reaching this milestone! May you discover happiness and success in your newer position as you rise to the ranks in your corporation. My dear father, your second Upgrade is the fitting recognition of your Struggle and Commitment. Whether its a Progression through effort or an upgrade, you deserve it! Good luck as you start a new phase in your working life. A good start is the best start, and success is near. Read more: https://chirpq.com/congratulations-and-promotion-wishes-for-brother/ I hope your new role will fulfill you and give you even more success and gratification. Thank you for being an exemplary father and rising to this level, Dad! Congratulations on your Upgrading! Wishing you all the best! In this exciting new chapter. You have worked very hard and are very smart. Congratulations on your Upgrade, dear father! This success is a testimony to your honesty and hard work.

Congratulations to the deserving recipient! Congratulations on your Upgrading! I hope it continues for you and that you can influence others and make a difference in the world with great things. This Heartwarming card message is meant to cheer you on. I hope your new position will benefit you and help you grow professionally. Happy birthday to the best Dad ever. I am so glad for this success, which you rightly deserve. Your job Progression through effort is a true celebration of your rise through perseverance. You make us proud to have you guys. Congratulations on your Upgrading! Read more: https://chirpq.com/heartfelt-happy-retirement-wishes-for-mother/ This Upgrade is well deserved as it highlights your loyalty and professional performance. It is seen as a demonstration of the virtue of leadership and what you have offered to ensure that all is well. I hope your new endeavors will be as blazing with opportunities as this chapter of your life. Personalize this heartfelt message as you embark on new challenges. Congratulations on your Fresh position Upgrade! I wish I could come home and have you take me to celebrate this achievement, Dad. You’ve done well. Say congratulations to me! Remember to send your best Progression through effort messages when you congratulate someone! I just wanted to commend you on your efforts; you deserve it. Read more: https://chirpq.com/heartfelt-good-morning-thursday-wishes-and-quotes/ Inspiration and motivation to remain successful and influential and to change the world positively are a gesture that truly makes someone's day

Such an upgrade is well deserved for your talents and struggle to approach your job. Congratulations on your Rise through perseverance! May your new status herald more exciting things in your new capacity, Daddy. May you find the strength that leads to victory and the prudence that helps in the hour of victory in your Fresh position Progression through effort. I am taking this opportunity to promote you. I appreciate all the Struggle and effort you put into the organization. Congratulations on your job Upgrade! Read more: https://chirpq.com/promotion-wishes-for-husband-celebrate-his-success/ Scaling new heights as you go up, do not forget the passion that drove you to do what you do best. Well done on this impressive feat, Dad. I am proud of you. Your effort can genuinely be seen and appreciated. May you have a positive experience observing and finding satisfaction with your new role. May you have the courage and the wisdom to set an example and inspire those around you. This upgrade is a clear indication of your aptitude and your reliability on duty. May this new phase in your life be marked by new experiences and knowledge as you begin this new role in your job Upgrading. Well done, old man. Thank you so much for this great honour, Dad! I must say that your advice is quite commendable. Congratulations on your Upgrading! May you gain the strength to face challenges fearlessly and the wit to overcome them. I wish you all the best! Day message for your journey ahead. The well-rounded Upgrade speaks about good leadership qualities along with your problem-solving abilities. As you take up your new position, it has to be something that will create change within you that will make a lasting impression. Read more: https://chirpq.com/best-promotion-wishes-for-boss-cheers-to-success/ To express my appreciation for this remarkable feat, allow me to say thank you in advance for everything, Dad! Before you’re due in your industry.

To perform these tasks, may zeal and assurance be yours and an invitation for more. I believe your Upgrade is an admission of your competence and a demonstration of your ability to meet standards. I hope this newest addition will bring you as much happiness as your writing has brought me. Many thanks for this prize, which I know well, Dad, you deserve this prize. This is a congratulations card for your well-deserved advancement! Attaboy! Congrats! Your determination has not gone unnoticed. In this new position, you may be able to onset the others positively. Not merely identifying what one can do, your upgrading affirms who you are and the Growth through diligence and Commitment you've shown. Read more: https://chirpq.com/best-retirement-wishes-for-boss-retirement-messages/ May your new position lead to even more fulfillment in your profession and a lifetime of success. Progression through effort messages to keep you inspired! May you have the strength to overcome any challenge you will ever encounter. Don’t forget your strengths! Wishing you all the best! In all your endeavors, may your Growth through diligence and Commitment lead to continuous success. The success of your Upgrading confirms your strong leadership potential and advanced planning. Congratulations on your Rise through perseverance! As much as you begin this new journey, may you celebrate every endeavor as you tread through it, and may each day of your new job be fulfilling. Well done, pop! Your loved ones are proud. This is the kind of recognition that you deserve. I am so proud to have such dedicated colleagues during my tenure as the dean of this college. I hope you make a great stride in this new position and benefit the company in numerous ways. May you be ever blessed with knowledge on how to go about your life with confidence and style. Your upgrading proves that struggle, determination, and focus on positive results pay off with job Progression through efforts. Read more: https://chirpq.com/happy-retirement-wishes-messages-best-retirement-quotes/ May this new chapter of your life be filled with success and passion—the things that make life a joy. Thank you, Dad, for reaching this achievement in your career and life! This is for you; your persistence has genuinely borne fruit.

May you possess the skills to lead gently and intensely influence others. Now is the right moment to showcase your leadership! Your Upgrading reflects your excellent problem-solving skills and creative thinking strategy. Best wishes for embracing the fact that the new position you’ve been awarded will prompt you to dream bigger and aim further. Rise through perseverance. I want to express my appreciation for this great accomplishment, Dad. Congratulations on your Progression through effort! May you be bold enough to face change and strong sufficient to manage all the changes you experience. Congratulate! Your promotion is a positive result of your Rise through perseverance and commitment by not relenting on your duties. Read more: https://chirpq.com/new-job-wishes-for-husband-congratulations-messages/ I wish you tons of success in the new phase and the fulfilling feeling it will bring. Congratulations on your promotion! Well done! This promotion is a testament to your Growth through diligence and Commitment. You deserve it! I hope you receive lots of congratulatory day cards! They want to inform you that they have noticed your efforts authoritatively. May you be granted the chance to be an honorable and strong leader who helps others. Congratulations on becoming the leader we all admire. Your job promotion results from celebrating hard work and distinct talent in the workplace. Wishing you the best in your new role! FAQ's

Q: How can I celebrate my father's job promotion?

A: You may want to celebrate your dad’s promotion by creating a family dinner, having an unexpected party for the father, or giving him a present. This will make him feel valued and appreciated for all his hard work. One good idea could be a pleasant surprise with pretty wordings like well-done, super job, or congratulations.

Q: What can I say to my father on his work anniversary if he recently got promoted?

A: If your father had a raise at work and his working anniversary is approaching, you can merge the working anniversary message with the promotion one. For instance, “Happy work anniversary, Dad! Your promotion is well-earned and very much deserved. Congratulations and cheer to many more successful years in the future.”

Q: How can I make a congratulations message more personal and unique for my father's promotion?

A: When sending a congratulations message, you may want to discuss his current or past accomplishments, the specific challenges he had at work, or share stories. In this case, for example, you would tell your dad, “Dad, I remember those nights when you used to struggle so hard to reach here; congratulations on your promotion, and thank you for teaching me the spirit of never giving up.” Read the full article

#Birthday #blessings #GoodEvening #GoodMorningMessages #GoodMorning #Greetings #Love #morning #Quotes #Wishes

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lindsaywesker · 7 months ago

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Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to the weekend!

Wow! Here we are again: Friday! Where did that week go? No, seriously, where did that week go?

As you would expect, working from home, Thursday was a very productive day for me! About 4.30, needed the toilet, posted my status, then went back to sleep. Started work at 8.00. Showered and got dressed. Went to the local polling station to cast my vote. Plugged my headphones in and went for a walk. It wasn’t warm and it was pretty overcast but, look at my face, was I bovvered? Changed my route. Important to change your route every now and then. Popped into Tesco and bought goodies (you know I like goodies!) Attended some Zoom 1-2-1 meetings. Prepped for lessons. Prepped for radio show. Finished working around 10.00. Going on to the campus today to see my fabulous students. Teaching from 10.00 – 4.30.

It's going to be a very chilled Friday and Saturday night (conserving my energy.) Bit of TV and a few cocktails. Works for me! The Mighty Josiah will be here, so it will be nice to vibe with him. Looking forward to my bank holiday Monday, where there is the distinct possibility – though I’m not promising anything – that I might actually spend a whole day doing bugger-all. You know I like to keep busy, so doing nothing is very difficult for me.

VERY happy that I’m now doing TWO brilliant gigs THIS Sunday, May 5th: The White Lion all-dayer down on Streatham High Road, then up to Cinnabar in Stevenage Old Town for ‘Let The Music Play’. Always such a friendly and – dare I say it? – loving vibe at both gigs. Get lots of love at both venues! Also looking forward to the Soul4U weekender in Birmingham in September.

Hope you can join me tomorrow for ‘The A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’. The Letter U (Pt. 1). No executive producer this week, just me playing with myself.

Have a fabulous & funky Friday! I love you all. You’re probably thinking, “You don’t even know me!” but, if people can hate for no reason, why can’t I love?

#mixcloud #mi soul #dj #music #new blog #lockdown #coronavirus #books #weekend #democracy

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dsandrvk · 8 months ago

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Thursday, March 28 - Ronda

We awoke to rain (surprise) but it didn't look too intense, and we decided it was a good time to take a walk down the road and out of town to get a view of the Puente Nuevo from the bottom. This is the classic photo shot, usually with wonderful golden hour light making everything glow. We had to settle for a few brief rays of sun, but mostly dark clouds and rain.

To get there we walked through the old town to the south, passing the bullring opposite our hotel (this side does have statues of matadors) and then hiked down a cobblestone road to the bottom of the gorge, trying to avoid cars and sheep. At the bottom (almost), there was a parking area and a short muddy scramble to a viewpoint. There was another viewpoint, accessible from the top, but it was closed due to construction, so this was the only way to see the bridge in its entirety. The arch in the limestone cliff was another bonus.

As long as we had walked several kilometers down and around we continued all the way to the river, which was running red-brown at flood stage. The fourth shot is the river from the top of the "new bridge" - it's easy to see how impregnable this town was, and why it was one of the last Moorish cities to be retaken by the Castilians. The river here is higher than where we were, since it cascades below the bridge in several large drops.

The rain was off and on (mostly on), and as it got a bit heavier we decided to head back up and visit the other places on our ticket. We headed to the Palacio de Mondragon, which was built by a high ranking Moor. Beautifully designed, with multiple courtyards and patios, and a beautiful coffered ceiling in the formal meeting room, it now houses the Museo de Ronda. I had hoped for some explanation about the construction and use of the house, but instead the exhibits describe the history of humans in this area, from prehistoric times through the Phoenicians, Romans, Visigoths and Moors and on into more modern times. There was a lot on the prehistoric peoples of the area, including a good explanation of how they believe dolmens were built. There is not much of a Roman presence here in Ronda, as they built a city on another defensible hilltop about 15 kilometers away.

While we were inside it rained pretty heavily, and it was still raining when we left. We had two more stops on our route, but when we arrived at the next place it was already closed. It seems that today, Maundy Thursday, is an official holiday, so everything closes at 3 PM. We will try to at least visit the museum for the Puente Nuevo tomorrow before we check out of the hotel and catch our train for Granada.

So there was nothing much to do except stop for some late lunch tapas and make our way back to our hotel to clean up and dry off. In better weather we would probably wander all the little streets in the town, but with temperatures in the low 50's and rain, we chose not to spend more time avoiding other people's umbrellas. There is a procession scheduled for tonight, but it doesn't start until after 8:30 and doesn't end until after midnight, when it finally arrives at a church two blocks from our hotel. It may be too wet for them to proceed - this weather is definitely affecting local businesses, as this is an especially busy week for them, and nobody can sit outside at cafes and restaurants.

The weather looks the same for tomorrow, but if we can get a little break, we will run out in the morning before wheeling our bags back to the train. Looking ahead to Granada, there will be plenty of Good Friday activities there, if the weather cooperates. It doesn't really matter to us, since we are happy just to wander and see the sights.

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ohimesama · 2 years ago

Text

1.26.23 Thursday

5:35 am

So,good morning angels!

For the recap,the mysterious lover's ( Uncle DD & Aunt Karen ) went here yesterday and I was on duty...

I'm happy that Tita Karen gave me a providence that I can buy a new weapon stick... I just borrowed an arnis stick on LJ...

But who got it,my weapon stick??? Not a good situation that I just put it here in our living room table.

And I have vagina itch now probably coz I gained weight and I have few rashes...I need to buy petroleum jelly,meaning I can't have sex? Can I still have sex having rashes down there... Feels weird... I need some butt scrubbing....I feel so conscious. I need to save my butt and scrub...

I think I need to visit an obgyne, obygne.... But just waiting for fundings... I have vaginal itch, literally that I need my vagina to breathe...I have rashes now....

I never had a vagina itch coz I never actually move during my teenage years or time that I actually had yaya's or assistant....

7:59 am

Waiting for Mommy Adnil to finish her breakfast.Kuya Eidor brought me here this am the tricycle driver here in Lacub village... Hmm... I'm just concern that he looks sick always and I asked him if he is ohkay and he said that he has a "rheumatic heart disease"... I'm kinda shocked... The last time he lost his voice... I really don't know how to comfort Kuya Eidor...

I still have my left aching sciatica....

9:21 am

I still have the windblow trap and I feel bitterish... I need money and wanna buy starbucks everyday...

I hope Mommy Adnil will get better asap....Of course Anid and me are here... We care from the heart...

Life is like the flower of angel's breath.

Treat people with love if they are genuinely real. KARMA BEGETS KARMA!

I still have my own personal life... I do respect people's privacy but angels you can't just blame me if I'm holding my shield as my self-protection... But I value friendship so much!

It shocked me when I saw LJ this am that has a fresh wound on her left head, on the side....That yesterday it wasn't there...

Then,I'm shocked to see this am as well,Ms Enaoj was cleaning the living room. I said hey! You are here! Why? She said she needs to bring LJ on a doctor coz she is having diarrhea.

I confronted Ms Enaoj,if she punched her daughter? She said no! She just accidentally slipped in the bathroom.

How will I describe Ms Enaoj? Hmm... She is mysterious... Nice but mysterious... Seeing her college pictorial picture,I can say she was cute but she looks old now. I wonder why? Hmm somehow a tomboy but not really but cutely boyish... She aged thrice so fast, I wonder why....But she was cute on her younger days.But it is possible that she can punch her daughter. Ms Enaoj and her daughter both on their boy cut hair style.

2:12 pm

My vaginal itch it is due to weight gained that I have to diet or make my panties bigger, done feeding the dogs...

I feel fat and ugly... I can't get handsome bf's....I have a lazadah delivery and they are calling me and the mouth piece of my mobile is not in good condition... Whew!

I need a new mobile but don't have fundings for now...

Chilling and in a lil while will do a leg mobility massage for Mommy Adnil. I work professionally... But I still wanna do gluta shots and my butt scrubbing and my vagina clearing,I have rashes now....Grrr....

For the people who are interfering...I'm doing my own thing here....Wanna see still donkey and camel...

Can't get new handsome upper bf's with a car.....I have no guilty emotion... I didn't harm anyone...

My status is really "liberated" but it is case by case..I never reacted on someone's life unless they control me unfairly... I mind my own life coz that is my upbringing... I already streamed this on Tagged... I had bf's way back, we had a good relationship,meaning everything were mutual if not that will be raped!

Now, I need handsome with car....Well,but I can't meet anyone right now.... Sad situation, I need to work and I wanna buy starbucks everyday... I wanna do gluta in God's time...

Still,thinking of big money now.....Still, self-pitying...

3:39 pm

Early mobility massage,done! So,funny Mommy Adnil wants a competition on her, she is comparing all of us Anid, Ms Enaoj and Ms Yoj that, she is better than you or Enaoj is better than Yoj... Now, she is complaining about her "lifter"... Coz the lifter is on the upper part now... I told her, it is natural Mommy Adnil coz I'm pulling you up when I have to...

Lemme explain the "lifter".

4:02 pm

I just quickly grabbed the last piece of pandesal bread in their refrigerator with permission of Mommy Adnil and put the egg sandwich spread made by Ms Enaoj... After mobility massage, I feel that I need some energy...

Hmm....Drinking my latte, my last coffee for today here...

Lemme go back to the "lifter". WHAT IS "LIFTER" IN THE WORLD OF CAREGIVER?"

Lifter is a blanket on the top of the bed cover. Its purpose is to assist the caregiver on positioning the patient or elderly having a bedridden case.

So, the lifer must be longer on the feet side,that is the way of Mommy Adnil here... But I agree it must be longer on the feet but as far as I can remember it is reverse on Nightingale...Anyways, life will never be perfect if you are a caregiver but at least have some passion to care and share love on your patient.

This afternoon Mommy Adnil's lifter is almost on the head part coz we had a full-bath today, meaning I pulled her up going to the headboard to easily shampoo her head, of course. After the full-bath, she is complaining on me about her lifter that is already short on her feet side, that her lifter went all up to the head part.

But take note! That is natural coz you keep on moving and positioning your patient.

She is challenging me to fix the lifter or arrange it. It is a challenge for me,that I will do later on our last flower wash and butt bedsore cleaning.

5:19 pm

Done,fixing Mommy Adnil's lifter with so many comment coming from her....The typical Mommy Adnil... ;)

8:17 pm

I'm in the house now and done,eating my dinner... I feel fat and ugly and I miss exercising but I have to work for John and for my some extra's in life...

I miss doing sit-ups but I need money....I have vaginal itch and bought betadine for basics itch... Hope this will work and will try the warm water and vinegar down there...

I hope I don't need a vagina suppository for this...

9 pm

I still have the windblow trap... I have this self-pity coz I'm fading....

I wanna buy starbucks everyday....I really feel fat and ugly my deep inside.

I need bf's to assist me...As in assist me, bf who has stability,maturity and good looks..

9:34 pm

Can't have sex now,if ever....I wanna bf who is matured and having a mind of an adult, I mean sex matters and meaningful but I want someone who will not only focus on that just to continue the relationship.... I have rashes now and vagina itch....

I still have the windblow trap... I feel that it is my end life,will be 42 and I can't get a bf who can assist me in all angle of situation, most specially my self-esteem...

0 notes

stonebutchstories · 2 years ago

Text

Thursday

Stone butch dom top/ stone butch bottom

Robin she/they

Natalie he/him

Cw: sexual language, explicit language, domination, use of titles (sir/boy), partial undressing, oral fingering, degrading language, manhandling, sex toys, oral performed on a toy

It’s Thursday. Natalie just got a promotion at work, but its hard to celebrate in the middle of a flare up. His boy Robin has some inspiration from an outside source.

I knew before I went to bed that I’d wake up in pain. The forecast was calling for yet another gray one, and I’d had too many surprise painless days in a row. I was due for it, with my period probably starting, too. I preemptively applied some generous dabs of tiger balm to my biggest problem areas, propped everything with pillows that needs propped, and had my ibuprofen at my bedside with my other medication in a shallow trinket dish Robin had gotten me on a trip. I put my phone under my pillow, where it would be easy to call them in the morning. They hadn’t stayed the night, since they had a lecture at 7 sharp and didn’t want to wake me up early just to spend a few extra hours in pain.

I’m used to being right, but it’s a hollow victory. I guessed right about my left hip, since it’s always the first thing to ache. My left ankle is flaring up, too, today. And my neck and shoulders. Surprisingly, I hadn’t gotten my period yet. Maybe something to bring up with my endocrinologist, as a blessed side effect of microdosing T, or something to be worried about. There would have to be emails and phone calls, when I felt well enough for it.

I took the pills I set out and reapplied the balm, shuffling with my duvet into the kitchen. From there, I went about my shitty morning. Frozen breakfast, smoking my shitty bent-up spliff with the last of what I got from my med card, sending off my shitty emails to my shitty boss. I worked from home in the barest sense, mostly moving around commas in outlook online to keep my status as ‘active’. By 3, my smoke had worn off and I took a long bath, with my laptop next to me in case of a work crisis. By 5, I had fallen asleep on the couch in fresh pajamas, page 11 into the monthly faculty newsletter. By 6, Robin was home.

“Hi, Nat.” Shes smiling, already looking apologetic. She knows it was a bad day, but gives me the chance to confirm it.

“Jalen got a job offer with another dealership.”

She raises her eyebrows, trying to conjure the memory of this work drama. “Oh? … No shit, huh? Well. I guess that’s good for you, though.” They played off having no idea what I was talking about well.

“Yeah, well. I’m happy for him. It is good news for me, I think.”

“Raise or just title-wise?”

“Raise. Possibly title, which is more important with layoffs next year.”

They drop their arms out from where they had been crossed. “Natalie. That’s amazing.”

I groan from under the cushions.

They prop a knee on the couch, starting to scooch in closer to me. “I mean, you deserved it last year, in my opinion. You were more on it than most of your coworkers at the start of the pandemic. NOT giving you a raise is what would be unbelievable. I wouldn’t let them fuck me over like that.”

“Good thing they’re not fucking me over.” I don’t move.

She drops her hands. “Is this… not good news?”

I shift under the duvet. “It is good news. It’s just a bad pain day. I cant get excited about it.”

Robin slumps into me. “Oh hon.” She throws an arm over me, avoiding my bad hip, or at least what looks like it from under the covers.

I grumble. “Don’t ‘hon’ me. You sound like my mom.”

She pats my back gently, putting on my mom’s Wisco affect. “It’s okay, hon, progress isn’t linear.” She pauses. “Neither is your spine.”

I laugh in spite of myself. River knows how to get me to laugh on an off day, and it’s almost always at the expense of those corny positivity accounts my mom and siblings repost. If anybody else said this shit, I’d be rolling my eyes, but Robin can. Maybe because they’re funny, maybe because they actually sit with me to do the work and drive me to the specialist, and let me squeeze the ever-loving fuck outta their hand when I’m doing my PT exercises, and apply tiger balm to me in fascinated concentric circles. We can laugh at it together instead of me, in my little dark hole suffering and getting laughed at by my body. I love Robin’s way, and I laugh.

“After I get done with your goofy ass, NEITHER of our spines are gonna be linear.” I mime some punches.

She kneels on the floor next to the couch, putting her grinning face up close to mine.

“Oh? Gonna blow my back out, big guy?” They shake their hips suggestively. Robin’s kinda a pretty boy, despite the way she carries herself. I think it’s all in the subtle things. They shaved their head, but they have full eyelashes that sweep down and meet their early wrinkles. They wear bulky thrift menswear and ugly grandpa shirts, but the tips of their collarbones poke out of the neckline in a way that draws my mouth in magnetically. She rarely goes a week without jeers from coworkers about hickies. We enjoy being old timers in young love.

I click my tongue, trying to play off my blush. “Man. Sure would like to.”

“Hmm. Bet you would.” She brushes my hair out from my eyes, and kisses my forehead. She whispers when our heads are close. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it at work.”

I pull her in by the back of the neck. “Oh, yeah? What were you thinking about?”

She considers it for a moment, then pulls away. “Calm down, honey. I gotta make us some food first.”

I pout. “Can’t we just get takeout?”

Robin considers. “Weeeeell. You did just get that raise. We could write it off as a celebration.”

“Yessss. See, you have me enthusiastic about work.” I toss a limp arm in underwhelmed celebration. “Hooray for my raise.”

She holds my hand, rubbing over the knuckles with her thumb. She slots her back against the back of the couch, holding out her phone for the two of us to look at.

“What should we get?”

We scroll through DoorDash for a while, checking the local selection for something suitable. I’m very agreeable, hoping to pick quick and get done quicker. I wanna hear what it is had Robin distracted at work.

We order and I forget what we got the second Robin turns to face me. My mind is on one thing only. We have about forty minutes.

“Get your ass over here, pretty boy.”

They tense up, the electric charge that comes with the shift in our dynamic physically setting in. “Are we starting, sir?”

“Yes.”

Robin stands to undress. I’m not in a state to do it myself, and they know it. I’m miffed, but they know how to compensate. They lift off the many layers they came in wearing with gentle hands and breathy sighs. When I watch them, feeling up on themselves and letting the cotton fabrics slide lazily over their skin, I can imagine what it would be like to live in a body predisposed for pleasure. I might be jealous if it was anybody else, watching them lavish sensation over a body that is warm and pliant, but as it stands it just makes me want to begin.

“Robin. Grab me an ibuprofen.”

She hardens for a moment, concerned.

“Go on, pretty boy. Do as you’re told.”

That sets her off quick. I can hear her scurrying around the kitchen, a little cold in her skimpy underclothes. I’m hoping this does the trick fast- I want to fuck them harder than my body is gonna let me. She hurries back, lifting the pills to my mouth and practically pouring some tap water in.

“Jesus. A little eager, huh?”

She chuckles. “Ah, Sorry, sir.” Shes fidgeting, sitting on the hardwood in her boxers and thin tank top. She usually keeps them on even if my hands are under them. I don’t mind at all- I keep everything on. As much skin as she likes to allow me, that’s precious. I don’t want for anything but her. Still, she’s cold in this freezing-ass apartment. I pat the couch beside me.

Robin crawls under the duvet with me, legs a bit chilly from having stripped down. I can feel the thin hairs on their calves when they tangle together with me, careful not to bother my bad leg.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s been on your mind today, baby boy?”

Robin hums again. “Mostly, I was thinking of this video I saw. There’s this couple I found on OnlyFans the other day and it’s two dykes. One of em looks like you. They do some things I wanna try.”

“Oh yeah? What kind of things?”

Robin wraps an arm around my shoulders, trying to steal some body heat. She tucks her head into me and whispers into my neck, avoiding looking me in the eyes for this. “This most recent one was uh. Sucking strap.”

It’s borderline embarrassing how obviously my gaze falls on Robins lips. They have soft, full lips that hum out gentle contentment at almost everything I say. She tells me she hums like that because she likes the sound of my voice, how I’m confident, how I’m unshakable. She says she’s agreeing with the way I carry myself, giving perpetual yesses to what I am. Hearing that they think those things makes them true, even when I disagree. Robin’s always chewing something while she works, and I focus on that rhythmic movement in her jaw as much as she focuses on what she’s getting done. So intent, and calm. I imagine tilting her head up and away from her laptop screen, facing those focused, drooping eyes at me as I stand above her and sink my fingers deep. And the fucking sound that would give me, God, I need to feel it in my fingerprints.

I brush my pointer and ring finger against their lower lip, testing. I don’t want to startle them. Some times, I worry about being too much too quickly for Robin. They’re sensitive like that. They lean in instantaneously, delighting in the feeling. They lift their head away from my neck and into my touch.

“Like this?”

I go slow, and they yield for me without breaking our eye contact. They nod and hum eagerly, eyes fluttering shut. Her jaw goes slack and I press my fingers in. Robin hums against them, and a warm vibration travels up my arm and to my brain, one that makes every nerve become so much more alive. I feel all the delicate slides and wriggles of her tongue in my fingers, every sensation she can possibly give me. The soft walls of her cheeks, smooth and slippery teeth brushing against my knuckles. She sucks gently, mostly just letting her mouth go limp against the motions, cause she’s the kind who gets embarrassed at the sound of her own desperation. I don’t mind it, it just means we have to take our time. And that means I will be fucking her slow. I squeeze my legs together and shudder, ache be damned.

“Sir.” She says as best she can around the fingers pumping sweetly in and out of her mouth. I slip them all the way out so she can speak, for now.

“Yes?”

“In the video, the one getting fucked had their arms pinned.”

I grin. God. Fuckin’ Robin, man.

“That so?”

They hum.

“Well, you know I’m a sucker for a faithful adaptation.”

I turn her onto her stomach, quick enough that it sends a shock down my shoulder blade. I grit through it, maybe pushing her down into the cushions a little extra hard. I catch her arms in one hand, and lean myself over her to hold her down. They yelp in surprise and curl their legs together.

“S-so rough with me today, sir.”

“Sorry. My shoulder.” I chuckle apologetically.

“I don’t mind.”

Ah. I tentatively roll my knee, the one forked between her legs. She moans.

“You want it like this , baby boy? I’m surprised at you. Youve been so soft lately.”

It’s true. Robin has been on a bit of a vanilla streak. I think it’s the cold weather, it makes them want to cuddle up and go to bed before we can work up to anything more rough. Whatever’s broken the streak is welcome.

“Hmm. I’ve got an itch I need to scratch. I need you to push me.”

“Push how?” I want specifics. I still myself completely, waiting for them to tell me exactly how hard and where.

“Like, physically. With your hands. Hold me still. Make me choke just a little. Push down hard, and don’t let go.”

That last line catches on something, and I know this isn��t about the sex. Something is on Robin’s mind tonight. The force of it is what really carries the appeal for them, the tight embrace and relief. I know they must be hurting, trying to transform the ache of worry into sharpness, a momentary sting and then a sigh. They want to be held as tightly as possible, broken in to allow them to feel more freely. This, I understand. We live in pain in different ways, but it feels so good to convert it into the type of pain we can both understand.

I sneak my unoccupied hand over her shoulder, winding my fingers back in her mouth. She shivers. I can tell she wants to speak, but she likes having her mouth fucked by my hands too much to interrupt yet.

Robin squirms underneath me, steaming up underneath our covers. They shift their shoulders side to side, testing just how trapped they are. They don’t budge much. They moan hard against my fingers and the realization that they are at my mercy.

“Cant break free, huh, baby boy?” I move my hands to allow a response.

“No, sir.” Shes reveling in this, smiling into the cushions of our couch.

I almost laugh. “All that gratitude, for this?” I push down on their pinned hands, insisting my ownership. I click my tongue. “Such a whore.”

Robin wriggles underneath me and whines. I resume my movement in their mouth, pushing deeper down their throat and swirling my two fingers in possessive patterns. I’m tracing over her lips, her tongue, her teeth, well and truly fucking her mouth. While I’m at it, I crank my grip of their arms upwards, pushing how far they can take. They try to speak around my fingers, but I’m feeling devilish. I speed them up. The words come out as messy chokes and moans.

“What was that?”

I keep pounding as they whine in protest. I add a third finger, curling it against their tongue. It’s starting to sound properly dirty, how I like, and Robin’s pretty hums and sighs are only adding to it. They try to repeat themselves, but fail again.

“Didn’t anybody ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full? God, It’s like you WANT to be punished tonight.”

They mumble something into my spit-slicked fingers. I pull my hand out of her mouth.

“Go on, baby.”

Robin gets timid, pressing their face into the sofa before blurting out their desire.

“Punish me, sir.”

Fuuuck. I want to. My ibuprofen hasn’t kicked in as quick as I’d hoped, but I can still throw my boy around enough for the next thirty minutes. Maybe after dinner I’ll be up to the challenges, and I can well and truly break her in.

I move the hand that was fucking her mouth to the back of her head and push down. She’s buried facedown on the couch now, keening softly. I carefully set up on my hips, testing to see how much I can realistically thrust. It’s not gonna work. My shoulders aren’t in shape for a proper spanking, either. Luckily the focus is on their mouth, and I have a pretty good solution.

“Pretty boy.”

She hums in response, like it’s her name. I let her up.

“Yes, sir?” Shes still pinned down by my legs, but turns over her shoulder to face me. I get a good look at them, seeing how full and flushed her lips got from being fucked. Her eyes are a little watery, too. I wish I’d kept going, I barely got started.

“Go to our room,” I trace a finger under her chin. “And pick which cock you want me to fuck you with.”

They shiver. They’re about to give me my ‘yes sir’, but they hesitate.

“Uh, what do you… um. Where do you mean, sir?”

Ah. Sometimes Robin gets shy about actually taking my cock in certain ways. Shes not stone in the same way I am, she sometimes enjoys taking it vaginally so long as we’re careful. She’s very sweet and obedient, but I get the sense tonight might need to be a different speed.

“Your mouth, honey. You’re gonna get yourself off tonight.”

She whines, not suspecting that.

“Noooo!” they whine and thrash around a little. It’s so cute.

“Oh, come on, baby boy. I know you’re desperate enough. You asked to be punished, too. Maybe I shouldn’t let you cum at all.”

“N-no, because-“ Robin tries to push up from the couch, but I shove a firm hand at the base of her shoulders. They grumble indignantly, enjoying the force but bitter at being denied. “The butch in the video got to cum.”

I laugh, quiet. “You and your videos.” I bend over to kiss them on the wrist. It’s their favorite, they say it makes them feel taken care of. Robin sighs.

“Please, sir. I’ll be so good for you.”

I kiss again.

“I’m sure you will.” I slap her ass over the boxers, and I feel her hips jerk into my thigh. With that, I let Robin up. “Go. Fetch.”

It’s all a little humiliating for them with commands like that, but I happen to have it on good authority that Robin likes to be told what to do. Especially in degrading tones. They hurry out.

I test my movement in my hip socket again, wiping off my wet fingers from fucking their mouth. I don’t normally ‘push through’ the pain for my work or my family, but I don’t mind the burning feeling when it comes with benefits. When I wake up tomorrow, it will be a different kind of ache, and I’ll have them in my arms.

Robin returns, shaking gently. At first I think it’s a shiver, then I realize it maybe is nerves, once I get a good long look at the strap she picked out. I have four, of various sizes and materials. The one they’ve picked out is a beautiful custom piece, marbled silicone with striped and bands of gold that look like veins. It’s the largest by far. I got it for a small fortune off an custom seller last year, and havent been using it much since, unfortunately. It was just a little too big to play with for Robin, so it’s mostly been a showpiece. That said, Robin sucks cock very well. Even if they can’t take my biggest size, they clearly want to suck it. In their other hand, I see they picked out my harness and bullet vibe.

“What are those for?”

Robin stiffens in embarrassment. “U-um, I thought maybe… I’d be sucking you off while kneeling?”

I grin smugly. “Is that what you thought?”

She nods.

“Why don’t you kneel, then?”

They drop, almost alarmingly, to the floor. They extend the toys to me. I smile a little, and muss their hair, which they lean into. I can feel the tips of her ears getting cold when I play with her hair, so I hurry and throw the duvet over them.

“Get comfortable. I don’t want you kneeling with bare knees on the hardwood. It’s too cold today, anyways.”

They smile wistfully.

“Hm.”

“Hmm?”

The rest their chin on my knee. “You love me.”

I pause. Robin has an instinct for keeping me on my toes.

“How you figure?”

“Earlier. You said ‘our room.’ You called it our room.”

Goddamn it. They’ve got me there. I didn’t even realize I had said it. Technically this is just my apartment, but it might as well be our room.

I lean in and kiss them gently. They lean forward, letting me kiss deeper, tasting how hot and wet I made their mouth when I was playing with it. I cradle her head in my hand, and break just as gentle as we started.

My eyes flick between their mouth and eyes. She’s got deep dark eyes cover me entirely in every glance, and they make me so warm I don’t even notice the chill in the room. She grabs my wrist to keep it at her cheek, and leans into the warmth of my palm. And I hate to admit it, but I’ve been caught in the act of having this feeling, haven’t I?

“Huh.” I right myself, clearing my throat. “Still fucking your mouth.”

She shines, looking up and in adoration. “You better. I want you to go hard, too.”

“Well, when you ask so nicely.” I kiss them again. “Let me get it on, then.”

I shift to the side, enough to pull the harness briefs over my sweats. The spandex is a little tight, but I manage to tug them over myself without much trouble from my bad hip. Robin scoots over to me with the duvet under their knees when I’m situated. I pop the strap into the harness with some effort, since the standard O-ring isn’t really suited for something so big. She’s gleefully watching me struggle with it, knowing just how big it’s going to feel slipping down her throat.

Once everything is in place, she wastes no time. They didn’t bring any lube out, but their mouth is wet enough from earlier that my cock is dripping with their spit with just the head in their mouth.

“Fuck,” I mutter.

She bobs her head down tentatively and gently moans. The duvet wraps around their body, leaving the tops of their shoulders and neck visible to me. I particularly enjoy this view, leaving enough skin for me to sweep my first two fingers over their shoulders as they suck. The sound of her reaction is sweet, a deep sigh of contentment. I like to touch her softly, almost too softly, and watch her jump and squirm under the feeling. She shudders forward a few inches down my cock, and I hear a stifled choke. That’s what I’m looking for.

Since they got that haircut there isn’t a lot to pull on anymore, but I place my palm around their neck, trapping the curve of their chin between my thumb and pointer finger. I squeeze slightly, feeling Robin’s hot pulse on my palm.

She moans hard, and I remember after the fact that Robin is into choking. She pauses, eager to see if I’ll continue. I don’t choke her, at least not right now. Instead, I nudge the back of their head down my cock further. Just there, I can feel the beginning of a bulge in her throat. Robin registers what I’m doing and I see the embarrassment and arousal dawn over their face, savoring it along with the feeling. She bobs her head on it some more, starting to test just how far she can take. Every so often, they look up at me, pleading for something with big teary eyes and a dirty moan.

I’m starting to get into it , especially once Robin starts massaging my inner thighs with her hands. She knows not to get too close with her touch, and centers her attention where she knows it’ll make me hard. It works like a charm; I’m starting to shake under their hands just slightly, enough to test their gag reflex. Like always, they do so well for me, and I let myself go a bit harder.

“You’re so good at this, baby boy.”

I don’t get a verbal response, Robin just drags their nails down my thighs, tilting their head to the side and into my hand. They speed up, wet gagging slipping out of their mouth along with the spit. I notice under the duvet that they’re starting to slide a hand under their briefs, looking up at me for permission.

“Did you want the vibe, or was that for me?”

Robin pops my cock out of her mouth with a rugged pant, and she blinks out a single wobbly tear.

“You, sir. If you want.”

They plunge back down like they need my cock in their mouth, like it feels wrong empty. I slide the bullet vibe under my boxer briefs, trying to click it to life and into the perfect position. I watch her mouth while I do, mirroring her soft circular motions on myself, feeling her mouth without feeling. I involuntarily jerk and moan, which makes her laugh under her breath.

“Something funny?” I squeeze her throat, feeling how the bulge has moved even further down than before. They’re practically deepthroating it.

Robin tries to shake their head as best they can, all obedient and sweet, but it’s too late.

“Speak up, baby.”

Their eyes go wide. I still have them possessively anchored in place, mouth full. I palm the back of her head, shoving her all the way down on the strap. They sputter and moan in deep satisfaction. I know they can take it deep if they stay still, but they asked to be punished and choked and facefucked, so I pull them back up by the hair and shove them again in one continuous motion.

“That’s right. Fucking take it.”

“Mh-“ Robin rubs over my thighs with their thumbs, in a choppy pattern much simpler than earlier. She’s a little preoccupied.

I grasp the back of her neck and speed up the bobbing motions, moaning openly at the slick gagging and choking sounds. They whimper.

“Fuck, baby boy. Just like that.”

I feel them start to slump into me, going slack and letting me set a punishing pace. The weight of their body presses the base of my strap into me, nudging the vibe down hard. It’s the right spot, and it’s just enough to make me cum.

I yank them away so I can watch the spit trail from my cock to her mouth to the floor when I cum. Robin looks at me with glassy eyes and pants gently, and it’s a fucking sight to behold.

“Was I good, sir?”

“Fuck. Come here, baby.”

I pull them up by the scruff of their neck to lie on the couch with me. We scoot in close together under the big duvet, warm and comfortable. I scratch at their prickly shaved head and we both do our best to breathe again until we’re perfectly synced. They tuck their nose into my collarbone and sigh.

“You’re gonna put me to sleep, touching my hair like that.”

“I hope not. Our order should be here any-“

Robin shoots up. “Oh my god, I forgot!”

Dinner was delightful. We watched our favorite show and shared more Rangoon than anybody has any business eating in one sitting. She kissed me on the forehead and I kissed her on the wrists until we fell asleep. When we woke up hours later, the blueness of the full moon on snow had coated the room and ourselves. We rolled together that way a few times more until morning. Robin says it again- “you love me.” And I can’t redirect the intensity of that feeling with jokes or distracting touches; it flows through everything I do. Every unconscious action is an expression of that love, but I decide to express it out loud for good measure.

“Yeah, baby. I do.”

#butch4butch #stone lesbian #stone butch #stone4stone #transmasc lesbian #nonbinary lesbian #mine #sorry it’s been ages #I’ve been busy doing nothing #sexy text abt regular ppl is my thing #i cant stand sexy stuff w no context #tell me abt their lives. do they have dreams #tell me

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seabass17 · 3 years ago

Text

All that’s left | Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

A/n: This is my first time writing something based on a video I found on TikTok, it’s not exactly the same, but it is kinda the idea. I hope you like it and please let me know if you might want a part two. Also, I apologize if you find some errors, im doing my best since English is not my first language. Anyway, happy reading!!

All that’s left masterlist

Pt. 2

Warnings: angst, mentions of injuries (broken ribs, cuts, dislocated shoulder)

Word count: 2.5K

Summary: She still can’t get used to the feeling of being left behind by the people she once called family. After being hurt, she decides that she will give them a chance, and when they failed, she then makes the decision to disappear and start brand new. Of course, she leaves a letter that will left the team standing in the dark, and with more questions than answers about a lot of things, while discovering that she has more of one past that she let to know.

The sound of the rain hitting against the window of my living room was the only thing that could be heard in the silence of my apartment. I looked over my desk where the paper is waiting for me to pick up the pen and get this over with, but somehow, somewhere deep inside of me, a part is waiting, holding on to the smallest of hope that maybe, just maybe, he is going to come knocking to my door asking why the i haven’t showed up to the compound for the last three days, or why i didn’t text nor call the rest of the team. I wanted to see if they would notice my absence so I left the compound on Thursday. I got the answer to my question when Sunday arrived and my inbox was clear; no one noticed. Today is Tuesday, my apartment is thirteen minutes away, fifthteen if you literally fly or speed up, but still, no one came or text.

To be honest, I'm not surprised, that doesn’t mean it hurts less though. I know i should probably think this through instead of making the impulse decision of grabbing my things and get the hell out of here, going somewhere i can start fresh, somewhere i can start over and get a chance to get over all the things that happened, find people that actually cared for me, or maybe not finding anyone at all and die alone.

I stand up from my bed and go to my desk, it’s time to get this over with. I start writing the only thing that they get to keep.

“Dear Avengers, You’re probably wondering where I am, or you just don’t care, maybe you don’t even find this. If someone from the building finds this, keep it in case they ever come looking for me; thank you. So, this is it, this is my goodbye. You should consider yourselves lucky, given the fact that none of you even deserves a goodbye because you are the ones causing it. I could tell you the reason why I'm leaving, and you know what, I will tell you. I chose to trust you. The one thing I feared the most was trusting people, but when I joined the team, I thought ‘well, maybe i can trust them, they are my team’, guess what, I was wrong. You should really look out for your teammates Stark, oh, and by the way, you might want to look deeper into why the operation that saved those 30 civilians on may 20, didn’t go south, you might even discover its the very same reason of why i didn’t showed up in the compound for a week, yeah, they were busy torturing the information out of me for a week; information that, by the way, i didn't give, hence why the operation went great. Something even more funny, is that behind every mistake, every wrong that each one of you have ever done, I’m the one that suffered the consequences. Don’t believe me? Then you might want to do your homework, because dear teammates, I’m the one you couldn’t protect. By the time you find out the things you’ve done, I will be long gone. I'm very good at disappearing, Natasha (once she figures it out) can confirm that. I wish things would be different and we could be… family, but that’s never going to happen; not anymore. As of now, there will be no record of my name ever existing, everything that once belonged to me, will be burned, and as of me, well, I am no one.”

I fold the piece of paper and put it in the envelope, once sealed, I write down the word my name in the center so they know. I take a last look at my apartment. Everything is intact, the furniture that came with it is the same as always, the only thing different is that it seems empty without all my belongings. I grabbed my luggage and exited the apartment and then went downstairs.

“Hey Richard” I say to the man that is in the reception like I always do

“Hey miss, what can I do for you?”

“Well, I'm leaving, for good. If someone comes asking for me, my friends, you tell them that you haven’t seen me. Oh, I left a letter for them upstairs, could you please make sure that it gets to them? Only if the show up, do not sent it”

He looked at me a little sad and confused.

“Oh, well, you will me missed miss, I hope you find happiness and yes, i promised i will make sure they get your letter”

“Thank you Richard, for everything, oh, and this is for you” I handed him an envelope with some cash. He looked like he was about to say something about how he couldn’t accept it but I cut him off. “Please, just take it, please”. He sighs but takes the envelope.

“Thank you miss…”

I smiled at him and then turned around to grab a cab. I'm supposed to be in the airport in 30 minutes. Once in the airport, the only thing left is to start again, be someone brand new.

*3rd person POV*

Friday morning was a little colder than usual in the avengers compound, everyone on the team was up and in the kitchen having breakfast. Everything was normal, until someone noticed that someone was missing.

“Hey guys” Bucky said right before taking a bite of the pancakes Wanda made earlier for everyone. “Have any of you seen y/n?”

The team stayed quiet, realizing that they haven’t seen her for quite a while, not until Barnes brought it up.

“Uh… maybe she took a trip?” Steve broke the silence while the rest started thinking when was the last time they had seen her.

“No, she was here when we arrived from the Jersey mission, it must have been like what, two days, maybe three?” Tony said. Bucky could feel his insides burning and twisting.

“No… that was eight days ago” Vision intervened. The avengers felt like someone just blew up the white house. Her teammate was missing for eight days and no one even noticed. Bucky was the first one to react by getting up and running to her dorm, only to find it exactly the way it was when he last saw her. He searched her dorm looking for something out of place that could tell him that maybe you were in trouble and that he has to come save you, but he is left desperate when he doesn’t find anything.

“She’s not here, everything is intact” He informs once he is back in the kitchen.

“Everyone” Steve calls out, “get dressed, we’re going to look for her. Let’s start in her apartment”

The team leaves to change their clothes and next thing they know, they are in her building. Without saying a word to the receptionist, they all made their way up to her apartment.

“Hey! wait-” he goes unnoticed because the avengers are already on her door. Wanda knocks on the door.

“Y/n? You there?” no one responds. “Y/n come on, don’t be mad at us” Natasha says.

After a few seconds they all start to worry when the door is unlocked, and they worry even more once they see the apartment completely empty.

“What the-” Bucky says

“Where are her things?” Wanda asks to no one especifically

“Where is she?” Thor says

“What the hell is going on?” Tony says a little louder

Bucky storms out of the empty apartment and goes to the man in the reception

“What the hell happened to apartment 108, where is y/n y/l/n?” he asks with worry and anxiety in his voice.

“I’m sorry, but, who are you?” the man asks the rather intimidating group of people in front of him.

“We’re the Avengers man” Peter says and the man suddenly realizes and his face changes from a confused one, to a sad one that makes the team’s stomach drop.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t…” he sighs, “She left me indicated to give this to you” he hands them an envelope that looks like it's been sitting there for a while. Bucky stares at the envelope like it's some kind of nuclear weapon that if you touch it, it could kill you. Wanda notices, grabs the envelope and stares at the paper in her hands.

“When did she leave this?” She asked

“Three days ago”

“And why didn’t you send it to us?” Tony asked, getting angry at the poor man.

“Because she specifically said to handed it to you, if you ever came looking for her”

Bucky could feel the tears in his eyes start to form.

“She said that? `Ever’?” Bucky asked almost to himself. The man slowly nodded. Natasha could feel how her stomach started burning from the guilt and the pain of not noticing that her friend was missing for eight days, little does she know that the entire team felt exactly the same.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y pull the records on the mission on may 20 and also show me the status of y/n on that time” Tony said to the AI and after a few seconds later, pictures of the building that that was about to be blown out by HYDRA with 30 civilians inside showed up. While the avengers were sitting in the conference room looking at the pictures, the AI started talking.

“Mission of may 20. Information was given that HYDRA kept 30 civilians inside the building with the intention of blowing it up with them inside. Source of the information unknown. The Avengers came to the building and successfully rescued the civilians safely moments before the building was blown up. Agent y/n y/l/n was on an undercover mission on a HYDRA facility at the same time, the communication was lost three days before the civilians situation, and around the same time, the information about the building was given anonymously the very same day that communication with Agent y/l/n was lost; Agent y/l/n returned a week later. Medical record found, access denied”

“Override, Tony Stark” Tony said after a good couple of seconds, the pieces starting to fall in place.

“Access complete. Medical records of Agent y/l/n on may 27th. Access restrained: Agent y/l/n. She presented with several cuts all over her body, three broken ribs, a second grade concussion, a sprained ankle and a dislocated shoulder. Patient refused treatment and was only given medication for the pain”

The seconds were passing and no one in the room would break the silence. The pieces were starting to fall in place, Tony felt nauseous. He yelled at her for being irresponsible for staying a little longer than she should have in the undercover mission, given the fact that she checked in on june 10th, meaning that she waited two weeks for her injuries to heal enough so that he could yell at her for not being good enough. He fell down to his chair, feeling like if he stayed up, he might throw up.

“She was the one that gave us the information about the building” Sam broke the silence. “She was the one that got tortured, and still managed to pass through the data so that we, could be the heroes while she was the one that got beaten up”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, where is she?” Natasha asked the AI, and it responded after a few seconds.

“No information found”

Natasha frowned, Bucky looked up to the screen to see the red sentence. It only made him want to scream more.

“What does ‘no information found’ mean?” Bucky asked on the edge of falling apart.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y” Steve called

“No information available” it said this time.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, look for y/n y/l/n” Tony said, thinking maybe he needed to check what was wrong with the AI.

“No records found for y/n y/l/n”

“Detail,” Stark said.

The AI showed what it said before, there was no record of her name, it was like it never existed. No phone number, no mail address, no nothing, just a little picture of an abandoned building or mansion somewhere in the world.

“Wait” Natasha said, “I know that building, F.R.I.D.A.Y, do a close up on that picture”

“What is it?” Wanda asked

“It was where The Red Room used to operate” tha AI responded

“Why does it appear related to her?” Bucky asked, fearing the answer

“The picture was taken when a girl escaped The Red Room in 2002, she eliminated four people on the way, the age or who it was is still unknown” the AI responded.

“Oh god…” Natasha whispered but Bucky manage it to hear it

“Natasha, what is it?” he asked

“2002, that’s three years after i managed to escape, there was a girl, we were some sort of friends, i promised that i was going to get us out of here, but i couldn’t take her with me so i left her. Two years later I contacted someone on the inside so that I could get to her and plan her escape, but she was angry at me and said that she was fine, a year later she did escape, killing four people on her way” Natasha explained. Everything makes sense now, why she looked familiar, why she had exactly the same skills as Natasha. The team noticed it too, but they assumed it was because she had trained very hard to be an avenger.

“What was her name?” Vision asked.

“Eliza” Natasha said

“Wait a minute…” Bucky said, lifting her head looking at Natasha. “Was that her real name?”

“No, she didn’t wanted to say her real one” Natasha said

“Eliza, that’s y/n’s grandmother’s name” Bucky said and the room fell into a silence where you could hear the wind outside.

“In the letter…” Steve started, “She said that you could confirm that she was good at disappearing completely once you figured it out, so, does this mean that…”

“Y/n is Eliza” Natasha concluded

“She was in The Red Room” Bucky added.

“She said in her letter that all of us did her wrong,” Sam said, “how are we supposed to know what the hell we do to her? She’s been in the team for what, two and a half years? And just now we realized that she was the one that gave us the data that saved 30 people and got her tortured, and that she was trained in The Red Room like Black Widow here. What else are we missing?” he added.

“Guess there’s only one thing we can do” Steve said, looking at Tony.

“And what’s that?” Wanda asked

“We find her”

#avengers #bucky barnes #imagines #marvel #bucky barnes angst #bucky x female reader #the red room #natasha romonova #tony stark #steve rogers #wanda maximoff #peter parker #hydra

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